Distractible - Make Wade Do It

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Bob and Mark motivate Wade to start his 2026 New Year's resolutions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable, this episode. Wagling Lunk Wade cuts to chit-chat and calls for pep talks to keep him on track. Brazen Barb resolves to wander, has escalator flashbacks, redecorates Wade's and bans games. Movie maker Mark cuts jizz, shows off his bucket, gives stick, and suggests rockets. From witness protection to Wade's mighty meat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's time for Make Wade do it.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello everyone and welcome back to distractible. I was going to say welcome to 2026, but I guess I'm an episode behind on that one. So, whoops. We're deep in there now.

Yeah, we're already deep into 2026. It's already basically over. Joined as always by my co-host, Mark and Bob. Hi, guys. Hello. Hello. I hope the editors are putting, like, that, like, undercover, what, sequestered man.

What is it fucking called? The dude in the black. The guy. The, like, witness protection? Witness protection. Yeah. I hope they. Yeah, the dude and the guy.

Yeah, I got you. The sequestered man. The guy. God. Shut up. I have it Oh And as always

I'm definitely Keeping track of points Because that's what we do here Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Every time Done it for years now So I've got my nice

Score chord As we call them Score cords Stop Charlie Get your score cord Usually we start With small talk And I guess we might as well

Do that again We had an episode Come out a few days ago But we actually haven't talked to each other Since right before Christmas So How was your holiday

How was everything How's everything going Mark? Your witness protection You're a dude and the guy I'm the dude and the guy, the encumbered man. I'm the, I am in Austin again, still doing movie stuff. Final stretch, guys.

It's really almost there. The final stretch? Yeah, you wouldn't believe it. We're doing color. So weirdly enough, when you make a movie, you got to actually do the final color, which is a lot more involved than people would think. I heard black and white was back in style. We thought about that, but it got too close to the jizz at it.

It's just like not about that. That would be, that's the, that's the edit right there. I can't wait for the jizz cut. Oh, man, the jiz cut's going to blow people away. It's going to be nuts. Oh. But I, so I'm in Austin again, and I had a flight, and my mistake was like I flew out, like, right after Christmas, which is not a good time to go because a lot of people are going home. And also, all the people that work on the airlines are also not wanting to be there.

Don't worry, my return flights on New Year's Day. I think it's going to be a really good one. I mean, it's already New Year's. Happy New Year's, everybody. I got to the airport at two. Our plane took off at 10, and I got into my hotel at 3 a.m. When I arrived, so very fun. At what point do you get so late to the hotel that they're like, sorry, your room won't be ready to like 5 p.m.?

Because that would have really sucked to get there right in that window. I got to the hotel and I was like, oh, thank God. I'm so tired. pull the door, clunk. It's locked. Of course, they lock it at night. I was like, oh, look at the key card reader forlornly with my bags. I literally have to knock on the door, like, until someone comes by.

But I got in. Oh, fun. That's awful. I mean, not the worst thing I ever had, because I have a, I'm a Delta Diamond medallion member, so I got into the Sky Club. Ooh. Only been in there one time. It was very nice.

I hear they have sandwiches in there. Dude, they got more than sandwiches. This Sky Club I was at in L.A. They got a full buffet. Like, not even just like a little casual buffet. They have like a hot buffet? Oh, hot buffet. They got like four big things of like, oh, they had like spice rice and like with all these veggies like rice peel off.

And then they had like these braised chicken thighs and like a whole spread of salami. It is amazing. It seems like a lot. How many people go in the Sky Club? That seems like a lot for the 50 people that you. it every day. I think it was Tampa Bay and Tampa Bay's was like that and also really busy. It was big and busy. They improved the Cincinnati one a couple years back and apparently I've been in that once and it's really nice. It's a lot bigger than you think it would be and there's like

the one I was in in LA actually had two buffets on each side of the thing. It's huge. I'm not diamond so I only get I don't know if I'm limited or if like the person you're with is limited to access. I think Molly or I can only get in like two to four times a year or something with where we're at so because we're not diamond. Yeah, I don't fly enough. God damn. I get to go in 15 times a year. You start just flying around randomly.

It is hopefully coming to slow down a little bit, but like the travel of this nonsense is going to be over soon, which would be nice. I'll believe you when it happens. You actually get to do the fun part soon. There's a date set. It's going to happen. People are going to see it.

You're going to like, theaters full of people. People are going to tell you what they think, and that's always a good thing. Always a good thing. Did I show you the popcorn bucket? Do you have one? No, not with me, but I have a video of the actual popcorn bucket. Oh, no, I think you showed us like a, it might be like this, like a mockup or something, but it was...

I have some, they made one a prototype. They have to test it, like, see if it explodes or something? I think maybe just to see how it looks. Oh, okay. Hey, does it look like we thought it would? Careful, careful. This is just a prototype. No idea how many buckets just go off unexpectedly.

It's a dangerous business. I mean, it's, man, I can't find it. If I find it, I'll bring it up later. It's just like I'm using the Apple email app. And because the Gmail one was given to a pain in the ass because I couldn't search anything. And there were so many ads at the top. So I was like, wow, I'll go to the Apple one. I can't find shit on the Apple.

Nothing works. It looks great. It works like I wish I was using the other one. I figured. Oh, yeah. So I bought tickets three times to see your movie. I don't get to use any of them because now we have a different plan. So we're still seeing it.

I don't know if that plan is public. So I'm going to keep that one under wraps. Oh, are you coming to our plan? Yeah. I mean, it can be public as long as it's vaguely public. Well, I'm coming to your plan. That's it. That's all I'm saying right now.

We have a plan. No, we're still going to the Esquire, the first tickets we bought. And then we're doing it again on our plan today. So this is the real Oh my God I'm not gonna I don't know if Bob can really see But your resolution you're coming in for me

I just see red It's basically that I mean it's not the highest resolution But I can see it and I That's ridiculous Only a regal baby It looks intricate Is that what they're going

Is that the file design that they're going with Yeah Molly made this That's so fucking cool Wade Molly made it I can't wait till she gets another enterprise tax. Make sure you send payment for that promptly.

Anaconda wishes they made this popcorn bucket. Let me tell you. That thing is fucking nuts. You are going to set a couple aside, right? I want one of those. You're not going to go hunt it down? You're not going to go buy in. Wait, a week and a half ago, you're like, oh, I'll definitely get you guys something.

Now you can't hear me? What the fuck? Listen, I'm a big shot now. I'm in 2,500 theaters. It's gone to my head. Oh, I thought it was because of the popcorn bucket, not even the movie. I'm a big shot I'm a big shot now

I have a popcorn bucket Look I got to say Regal has been on board 100% I'm super happy with them I'm happy to shout them out That's pretty cool And to think you wanted to start a competitiveing franchise I guess we need to open a regal

Huh? We could open a regal They do franchises and stuff I'm sure We could buy that one that failed And then we could franchise it there That'd be nice We buy that one that failed twice in the same decade, and then it'll definitely work this time.

Because we're different. We're built different. Yeah, we are built different. That's true. Anyway, I chewed up all the small talk. No, you're good. My small talk was just some lame New Year's resolution thing. Don't worry about it. I love it. I actually meant to Google this before we talked again. My goal, my resolution is I want to walk 365 miles in 2026. Obviously, a mile a day. But the point being, if I have to miss a day, it's not like,

I fucked at all. It's like, okay, well, now I have to make that mile up, right? Like, if I hit 365 miles by the end, that is a success. And presumably, the more I do it, the easier it will be for me to do extra miles. Because right now I hit a mile and I'm kind of like, that's enough. That's good. I did it. So I assume I've walked like 30 miles by today.

What's it? The ninth? I'm just killing it. Way ahead. I just, I'm just assuming. Nice, man. Except for the Cincinnati weather. Well, we have a treadmill too.

So a lot of it's going to be inside until it's not Ohio outside. That's smart. Yeah, I walked through the airport and I was tired. Like, I remember I used to walk up and down the airport when I was waiting for my plane, which I was like, yeah, I'll do some steps in. I forgot my bag at security. I go back and get it, and I was like, maybe I'll leave it. I don't know if it's worth it to get it.

Was there a guy pushing you on a royal cart this time? I wish. I had to go get my bag from the security. And it was so funny because you see the TSA security. They're usually up in a really high desk. So, you know, I'm perfectly average height, right? But me looking up at this desk is like this fucking guy from a Christmas story peering down at the kid and just like, oh, did you lose your bag, a little boy?

And what's even worse is like, I was like, yeah, I love my bag, and he's like, oh, what's it look like? It's blue, it's carry on, has a name on it. And he looks at me, he goes, what's the name? Oh no Mark I'm not supposed to tell strangers my name And it's like At first it was creepy

It took me a second to realize he recognized me Because it was just like a TSA agent I was like I'm like Mark I still didn't get that I thought he was just about to like murder you Yeah What's the name

Yeah I was like They came around It came out and get him And said he was a fan So he was very nice Like there was nothing wrong about that But it was just very funny.

I saw the smile spreading on his face. Dude, now they makes me feel more old and out of shape than airports. I have so many memories because the main bulk of the traveling I've done was for like when we did the live shows and shit, we flew a lot. We drove bus places. And I remember like just running all around the airports and me like,

ah, we got to catch a flight. And the last time I was in an airport, I had to get from security to the gate, which was a normal distance away. And I got to the gate and I was like, where's the seat? I need a fucking chair.

And they were like, And we're now boarding and I was like, no. God, I was going to rest. Fuck. Like, man, it just is not. And so hence the 365 miles. So it's not going so well. I got to be able to walk at least to the gate to fly on the airplane.

God forbid I forget my bag. Dude, Charlotte, Atlanta, Chicago. I have a lot of experiences like that in those airports. This was small. This was CVG, which is not a big airport. It's not like I had to walk across the whole fucking Dallas airport or something annoying. And they got that nice tram and the treadmills. or Houston. What's the one that sucks in Texas? Dallas? Maybe. I mean, Austin isn't too great either.

I think one of the ones in Texas everyone talks a lot of shit about, but... Oh, there's two. I've had a weird experience lately. The last few times I've flown, the escalator up has always been broken. Never the one going down, but always the one going up has been broken. And we've got like these big bags and like the line for the elevators a mile long. And it's like, yes, they're just annoying metal stairs now. I would never walk on broken escalators. I'm too paranoid. Yeah, no, that scares the shit out of me.

I hate that so much. The last time we all hung out, we went and we had a meal together over at Kenwood, right? And we went to that place where we had to go up that escalator. And Mandy and James and I were on that escalator. And I've never been on one that did this before, but it like stopped. And then it went like, and we were like, climb, climb, climb, get off. Holy fuck. It was like, oh, my God, it's going to fucking kill us.

And it was just like, like, we ran up the last little bit and got off. And then it was just like, never mind. I was going to say, Molly and I came up behind you on that same escalator. No, you did. We watched you come up and we were like, should we tell them? Because like, we didn't see you get on. So like, we didn't, we didn't not warn you before. But once you were on it, we were like, maybe it won't happen.

But we should just not scare them. If they started shouting, you would have panicked. You would have ran. It would have broken. You're standing on the escalator. We're like, get off the escalator! Get off the escalator! Why are you guys yelling at us?

That's fine, I guess. I don't know. Just a baby. Just murder machines. I don't like them. Also, can't down escalators be up escalators? Like, I know that there's like pathing and there's things. But every time I see an up escalator broken next to an escalator that's going down,

part of me is like, why don't we switch that one? Isn't one of these ways harder than the other if we're going to have a thing? Maybe it depends on like the way that the metal prongs are facing. because they do kind of like fit and bend in a certain way. Maybe it can go in reverse. I feel like they're symmetrical. Well, I don't know if symmetrical is the right word,

but I feel like they're the same. Well, I don't know because it like, it goes down and crunches this way. Can that mean it also can go down and crunch this way? Is it only crunch? Wait, what's crunching? Like they mesh together.

They mesh. I think he means that they, that they mesh, yeah. I don't know if they mesh in a way that they can go both ways. I guess they would have to because of it. I think they can, yeah. I believe in some places they have

where they have multiple escalators. at certain times of the day, they'll have more going up. If it's like beginning of the day or if a parking garage more going into the store, it'll be more down or more going up when it's end of day. If people leave, it's like a bridge, you know, they'll change the lanes, I think. I don't know. I'm speaking up my ass here. I feel like I've seen that.

But also, I may have just thought that that should be happening because I'm lazy. I try to leave my house, so I don't know if I have. I am going to jump in, though. We're going to move on and save some of the small talk for next episode. because I'm known as the guy who lets the small talk go on forever because I just like chit-chatting and I definitely always come prepared with the most crazy and insane of games.

Per usual, I've got something. And Bob, you got a segue point. Surprise, surprise. New Year's Resolutions is part. We've done resolutions before, and we've talked about resolutions before, but I don't think we've done this. I've got a list here of some of the more popular New Year's resolutions,

and if you guys have some, you can come up with, that's fine. What we're going to do is to throwback to like old, distractable days where you guys are just going to come up with the best ways to motivate people to follow through on their New Year's resolution. Are you going to give us a resolution that we motivate specifically or is this like general? I will give you guys a resolution. I will give you a resolution. You'll both have a chance to motivate. We'll move on to the next one. And just the sky's limit with how you motivate. That being said, the answer to each one can't be hold a gun to someone's head. We've got to be more creative. Man. How many guns can one person hold? Depends how

good your toes are, I guess. And tongue. I guess I, oh man, where's my coin? Mark, you have a coin in your witness protection just in case? I mean, I can make a coin happen. All right. Well, we don't, we don't, hopefully we won't even need one. I'm known to only host fair episodes. So we'll have heads as Bob, tails as Mark to who goes first. Our first one, so you guys can start thinking about it is the most popular New Year's of Resolution, according to this, is to exercise more, which makes sense, because I think that's one we all taking into consideration. Ed's is Bob. Me first.

Motivate. It'll just be me. I'm the one who needs to do this. Motivate me. You can be nice, be mean. Oh, good, a target. I need to exercise more. And that's not false.

Wade needs to exercise more, and I know how to make it happen. What's the one thing that Wade loves more than gobbling down huge piles of meat? Gobbling down huge piles of meat in his own house. preferably on the same level of the house that he woke up on. I am going to take the whatever, I don't care what's in there, fuck it, it's gone now, whatever is in the room closest to your bedroom.

A desk, a dresser, bed. I am going to build that out into a beautiful home gym, complete with Brazilian Steakhouse Open Fire Pit, and you only get to eat at your own Brazilian Steakhouse that is 15 away, 15 feet away from where you sleep if you are actively working out. So it's like, you know, when you go and you have the little red, red means stop, green means go and you turn, it's on red unless you're walking on the treadmill, unless you're doing a set on a weight machine or whatever.

So it like keeps track of like my Fitbit or something and it knows. It knows if I've been naughty or nice. And so you're going to have that smell like probably in your whole house for the rest of your life. You're going to hear the clanging of the swords with the meat. There could be a cold salad bar if you're into that part of it. That could maybe be along the back wall. Good old pineapple and stuff. Yeah, no.

It's all in there. And there's like a bow flex and an elliptical and a treadmill. You only get to partake if you do what you got to do. I'm not saying that that is a healthy balance of activities because I'm not a nutritionist. I don't know if it'll actually make you healthier or more physically fit, but it will force you to work out because I know you won't. be able to resist that. That's pretty tempting. Okay, I thought of this as a joke at first. And now, the more I think about it, the more I think of it, the more I think of it, like, this actually would work on me. I smell a business opportunity. You know, carrot on a stick. See,

that's stupid. No one wants a carrot. So a little bit of, like, what Bob was saying, steak on a stick. And I started thinking about it. And I'm like, I need to change the mind way. People view me. At first, well, dude, come on. You're the me, man. We know what you like. You're not. You're not wrong. And so if I can't have a taco on a stick, that wouldn't work for you. But everyone loves a steak, especially vegetarians. Because if you watch videos of vegetarians eating meat for the first time and it's a steak, they basically orgasm right on camera.

Because you're like, oh God, it's so good. They're right. Anyway, so I just imagine myself holding a stick with a stick and I'd laugh at first on a treadmill. It'd be like, this is dumb or walking outside. And then I'd go faster because I really want the steak. And I think it would really work. So just a steak on the stick. Are you holding the stick or is it attached to you?

Because I feel like if you're holding it eventually even we would figure out that you could just move the stick. It's got to be pole on a backpack or something like that's dangling out like that. You just lay down and it falls right near your mouth. You know that the video of the backpacker with like the whip snake condition backpack. That was like 20 feet tall. A whip snake. That, but with a steak at the south. The whipsteak.

The whipsteak. The web steak. It writes itself. Mm-hmm. By stealing everyone else's ideas, it writes itself. I like the whipsteak, but I like the idea of a phogo in my house even more. I got to give that one to Bob, I think. Don't say pandering.

Hey, he didn't set a budget. This is Wade's money. I'll spend it however I want. That's true. A gold bar on a stick. I thought Bob was covering this. Not going to lie. If you're getting in shape, you're paying for how you get in shape.

That's the deal. You don't ask someone else to pay for your gym membership so you can start working out in the new year. You gotta get your gym membership. That's the deal. Don't underestimate my lazy. Speaking of which, do you guys want to renew my gym membership for me? What's your gym? I don't know.

I think I have a planet fitness one from like 2016. You'd set off the lunk alarm as soon as you walk in. What does that mean? I'm a big lunk. Fucking knuckles dragging on the floor is you come in. He thinks you're a lunk. He's calling you a lunk. I don't even know what a lunk is.

Is that good or bad? It's not good. Does it sound good? No. Not at a plan of business. Oh, you lunk. Does the lunk alarm sound good to you? I don't know.

You should try it on Mali. Next time you see you. You're like, hey, lunk. I think it was a lump, like a lump of coal, but a lunk. If you're a hunk,

it's good. If you're a lump, it's bad, but what if you're both, what's a lunk? If you're, it's very clear, Ligolo,

well, maybe Ligolo's good in comparison to whoever the hell Ligolo is inspired by. Ligalos, that's it. You got Licklowe, you got Higlo, hunkalo, hunkalo, I don't know where I'm going with this. Lunkalo?

Lunkalo, yes. All right, the next one, Mark, you'll go first on this one. The next one is just be happier. I don't think we can do this one, Bob. I don't think this is going to work. I already feel like I want to give up. I feel like this is un... Oh, man, not for Lunkalo.

Doesn't have to be me. I could be an example if you need one. No, it's you. It's, it's... Definitely you. It has to be you now. Okay. Make me happier.

All right. This is a New Year's resolution. And I'd probably avoid meat. We've done, we did two meats. No, don't worry. It's not about meat. Don't worry. What else does he like?

That's the question. So look, it's, uh, it's, um, it's a long-term happiness kind of thing, right? So. Okay. Every day. Every day. You keep trucking through this year. I'll give you one hair back.

on your head. So you just got to keep going because next day you're going to look for it to that extra hair. How many follicles do you think I'm missing at this point? Let me see how many follicles are on the human head. All right, hair is on human head. I mean, I've got some on the sides.

It's just the top middle. You got to worry. Don't worry. There's 90,000 total hairs. But you get one a day, dude, in a lifetime. That's nearly a third. What was that? Is that 30 years to get my hair back? Yeah, if you have a third of your hair back, that's 30 years. No, yes, 10, actually. No, yes, 10. It's only 10 years. Get a third of your hair back. Well, for a third would be, I think, yeah.

Yeah, so 10 years, you'll have all this, because if you count this is a third and this is a third and this is a third. One of the three, 10 years, yeah. All you got to do is just get through the day. That at midnight. Might need a brow lift at that point, too. I don't know if you guys, this is unrelated, but I used to work in the eye industry. And I definitely, I definitely. have the, I think Bob you might have it too where you have like a little bit deeper orbital set in so like your skin rests on your lids. Oh, I thought you could insult him somehow. Yeah.

Just like if your orbital, if your eyes sits back a little bit, you see how like the skin kind of sits on my eyelid? How could you possibly tell for the man whose eyes are constantly in shadow no matter how well lit he is? I have, you can see physically the skin sitting on my eyelid. People go into the eye doctor and they're like, doctor, I can't see like I used to.

I think something's wrong. And the doctor's like, can you see now? Oh, doctor, it's a miracle. Oh, wait. Does that work? Because literally it takes the skin off of your eyelids, so your eyelids can open a little bit more whenever you've got... I feel if I do this, it'll be racist. So I... You just stick with one hand. What you really don't want to do is two figures on the corners. That's the bad one.

We're not messing with it. It's the whole thing. Right, right. Perfectly normal. I don't know how it works with a ball. guy in all seriousness, but like people that have hair lines, they'll go up like right on your hairline and they'll like remove a strip of actual skin, like a literal strip of skin and they just like slide it up and then stitch it. I know that that's how that works, but hearing you say that out loud is just awful. I got to watch the surgeries and they're not even like in like a hospital. They just do it there in the office. It's kind of wild. They just lay you back local anesthetic

and you're awake? I think so. Again, this is 12 years ago, but 13 years ago. But yeah, I'm pretty sure. I had the mallet that I balked them with and they were right out. Why do I imagine you at that job? Big clown shoes, big hammer. Open your eyes, dong. It was a bit of a scary job because I actually got jabbed with a sharp that was a used sharp so I had to go to the hospital

and get all those like HIV tests and stuff done because like whenever you get pricked by a bloody someone else's blood you have to go make sure you're safe. That wasn't fun. Do you think you're sticking your hand in the vending machine? Those are the sharps jar. No, actually, I can't remember how it happened This doesn't feel like my pop turn

Well, you have your disposable sharps But then you also have some that you actually Like clean and reuse I think I was cleaning and something happened Where either something got knocked off I don't remember exactly how it happened It's been so long Gotta be careful with those

They're sharp They are, yeah I was bleeding But someone else's blood was entering It was very scary Bleed harder man Come on, don't let his blood show you up You just need to

You just need to bleed better than them That your bleed will win Alright, so sorry, I got way to, pretty usually I got way distracted. So just a follicle replacement one day, one follicle. Yeah, yeah, that thing. Okay. Uh, Bob, make me happy. Wait, I know what would make you happy.

You've spent so much time on this topic. And I feel like this might be one of the things that weighs heavily on your mind. This is a lie that you tell every time we're together. You've come up with different versions of it. The current iteration has been going on for a long time. Oh, I ordered it. car oh it's in Germany oh it's on a boat oh it'll be here in three six months nine it'll be here next year it'll oh no I have a car it's here now I set a car all the way from

Germany to me here in Ohio oh all of this fabrication has to weigh on you Wade I tell you what I'll buy you a car buddy that'll cheer you up and you'll actually have a car then you won't have to lie about it then you'll be able to let that go and when we're like hey how's the car you can be like it's great and i drove it and i'm like don't say it like that say it like you really have a car do i get to pick what car since you're buying uh no i'll pick i'm i'm a car i'm the car guy here i think i'm the car distractible host so i'll pick you a good one i think i know what you like i know what cars you pretend to have so i've i get a little picture of your taste okay dude is totally not totally related unrelated to the topic but totally

related to that. Did you see they're canceling the Ford Lightning? They did, but aren't they turning it? They're going to come out with a new model that works the way that the scout trucks are going to work where it's a diesel generator electric drive train hybrid where the diesel engine is not connected to the drive train, but it charges the batteries. And it's going to have like 600 miles of range or something crazy. I think I thought I saw something like that, that they're canceling the lightning, but they're moving to like a hybrid onboard generator EV drive train situation. That's what I heard.

That's what I saw. Wait, so it's still an electric motor, right? It's an electric motor? So it's driven by electric motors. There's no internal combustion power that's driving the wheels, but there's like a diesel, a small diesel generator that just generates electricity that goes into the battery pack of the EV itself. So you have to refill the diesel generator,

but it uses a fraction of what like a diesel combustion engine uses. to like, you should look at Scout, Scout motors or it's trucks. Scout is a brand. They're coming out with trucks. This is the technology that they're going with. They are EV trucks with onboard generators. I don't know if there's a diesel or gas powered, but there's an combustion engine generator on board of an EV drivetrain truck.

And it's like actually a good balance of you get the benefits of the EV, but you get real range, you get like hundreds of miles. like five, six hundred miles of range, not like 200 miles or, it's a real thing. It's really interesting. That's so strange to me because I know like conservation of energy and such, like there's different laws and but nothing's perfectly efficient so you'd lose a little bit. Wouldn't the amount of fuel that powers a generator that then powers the car be more efficient if it just directly powered the car at that point?

How does that energy transfer work? So I don't know the physics of it, but if you think about how like a diesel, a diesel truck works, right? The diesel engine loses power in friction and resistance inside the motor, which it then transfers to an output shaft where it loses power to the bearings and to the shaft itself, which it then transfers into a transmission where it loses power to the gears meshing and the friction and the heat of the transmission, which then goes to another output shaft, which goes to a differential, which potentially splits to all-wheel drive, which goes to two other differential.

Like there's a lot of mechanical resistance in a drive train. Whereas an electric drive train, you have one motor on the front axle, one motor on the back axle. There's no gears. There's no transmission fluid. There's no drive shafts. And the diesel,

so the diesel motor puts its energy directly into the generator, which goes directly into the battery. Wouldn't those still lose power the same way? I assume that they've done the math and then it works out, because this is a new sort of platform that companies are moving towards in terms of EV technology. But I don't know the math. But I assume because modern diesel generators are so efficient, because modern batteries charge so efficient. I assume they looked at it and this is like a feasible thing.

But I have no idea. I just know that these cars exist. And that's what I heard Ford was doing, that the lightning tanked super hard, that they're giving up on pure EV, but they're moving towards that type of hybrid model, which I think is super. interesting. I was ready to be all like, man, I just, I mean, that actually sounds at least theoretically a little better. I mean, you're still burning gas, so it's not environmentally as conscious. Yeah, you still burn fossil fuels, but something just in my brain, like, there's an alarm going off. It's like, this doesn't make sense, but I hope that I'm just, I don't know the science, so maybe it is, but. That's your, your honey sense, right? There's a scam. Where are they

getting the rain? Yeah, the honey says, it's, but with power. I'm like, but if you really think about, I don't know how the scale works. It plays into this, but if you think about how an EV is charged, if you plug the EV into the wall at your house, whatever, even if you have a level 2 chart, it's probably coming from coal burning, natural gas burning, maybe from a nuclear power. It's coming from...

American power. It's coming from a power source, right? So it's not like if you have a straight-up EV, it's getting its power only from the juicy nectar of the sun. Like maybe if you have solar panels and you live in a place where that work, maybe, but it's just taking the power generation from the grid far away, transferring through your house or through whatever charging port, and onboarding it. And I assume it's efficient because they wouldn't make this if it wasn't like a feasible thing. I guess that's fair. It's like having an

external battery for your phone that you just always have plugged in. I don't know. I just think it's really interesting. I really want to like see. I don't know if these trucks are in the wild yet. I know Scout has like pre-production trucks, but I don't know if they have any things. thing released officially. Like I don't know if consumers have used this yet. I want to drive one. I want to see what they're like. It sounds cool. Never even heard of the brand. I just want to see the science behind the design. Scout was a truck for a long time in like the first half of the 20th century and it was one of those American brands that died off. It's a brand that's being revived. It's an old American brand that's being revived in like a new modern EV hybrid thing.

Interesting. They look cool. Honestly, their design looks really cool. It's kind of like retro trucky. Like it's going back to the be happier while you guys are I'll get you a car Yeah yeah Wade Hold on I gotta give I gotta give the point to Bob with an asterisk Because I know the cost For a friend told me how much like a Bosley cost

Right Yeah you wouldn't know from experience A car in theory could Would be more expensive Potentially so No you don't know where I'm getting these hairs Only the finest heads of the richest celebrities.

That's a more concerning statement. I have only the finest heads for you, my friend. All of those heads that I got the hair were smiling bright, so you'll be happy to. You know how hard it is, how expensive is to harvest follicles from unwilling donors? What are we talking about? You guys are making me do some New Year's resolutions here. He wants to be happy.

Eat healthier is kind of on the same pace as exercise. I'm gonna skip that one. We'll go to save more money, improve finances. You're coming to us. I just realized my percentages on this list adds up to 132%. So I feel like the percentages on the weight of these is a little wrong. Or people have more than one resolution. Maybe I didn't account for that on this. But saving money, improving finances.

Yeah, you guys have to help me. I'm spending my money like crazy. I have one thing that will fix all of your problems, Wade. Isn't that what people like to hear? I have one move if you do this and ignore any of the other consequences that might spin out of it.

All you have to do is never, ever play another mobile game ever again. I haven't in like six months. I don't believe you. I find that hard to fathom. I've not even... I used to docon all the time.

I have not played docon since I think June or July. Well, fuck me then, I guess. It's a good... It's great advice. Don't get me wrong. Have you been... saving a lot of money because maybe that's just proof that it is a great idea. Probably, but I don't keep track of that, so hopefully. Probably being robbed.

I don't know. Jeez, you should probably take a peek at that bank account sometime just to see what's going on. So much effort, but yeah, you're right. I probably should. Yeah, mobile games are a surprising leak of funds, especially if you just, like, if you rationalize, like, I mean, one $10 purchase won't kill me. And then next thing you know, you're Mark and you're trying to stop your old clan by starting a new one and you're funding everyone to come.

join you so you can overtake those bastards that scorned you. This is a weird thing I've never heard of. Who's Mark? Or there's that one new unit on DoCon that fucking alludes you. So you're like, ah, I just need to buy one more pack. I'm close to mercy. And then you don't quite get there. So you have to buy the second pack to get to mercy.

And yeah, yeah, there's a lot of rationalization that can go in the mobile game spend. It's a dangerous place to navigate. There's some fun games, but there's a dangerous place to navigate. So you're trying to save money? Help me. I bet you have a lot of unused subscriptions that are just piling up around you, right? Oh, shit.

No, no, no, no, no. Have you heard of Rocket money? It's the... Whoa! Oh, man. I gotta give me the point just for the fucking callback to our Rocket money. Possibly for the first time ever,

just got to clarify. Not sponsored. Just big fans. Just big fans. You know, it's funny. Every time we talk about them, I'm like, man, I really should do that because I do have a lot of subscriptions I need to cancel. I never have. I still have the fucking subscriptions.

I'm still paying for the gym membership. I'm still paying for Swoder and probably Elder Scrolls online and who knows what else. I think I might have a wow subscription right now. People are going to think this is like the smoothest ad integration. It is actually not. But man, I wish I wish we had control of this thing. What an integration that would have been. I, and during Christmas, it was actually nice weather here for Christmas.

So my nephews and I were outside, like, tossing football. And one of my nephews kept throwing the ball and I had to, like, run into, like, this row of, like, hedges. And, like, I just kept having to go into the bush to get the ball, kept going to go to the bush in the next ball. I don't remember what joke I made, but I made a Manscape joke. And I was like, not sponsored. I was like, man, these ads are really starting to creep into my life. We're rocket moneying and manscaping. We don't even have to.

I mean, there's more here, but I just kind of like chatting with y'all. We can, we can not, per usual, I'm going to be chill on these and I'll, I like, that was a good, that was a good fun punch. The rest of these are kind of related too. They're like improving health, losing weight. They're kind of similar. I didn't really think this one through too much, I guess. I learned something about trucks and I learned that the first thing you guys think about me whenever you're going to come to mind is meat. So that's good to know.

Yeah, consistently. Yeah. You're the king of meat. Oh, this is an interesting score. Okay, let me go through here. Mark, you got points for the Jiz Edit, perfectly average height, lost luggage, smart flyer, lunk, the lightning gone, rocket money, a total of seven points. Bob, you got points for special iron lung viewing, segue point, exercise with the letter C next to it, I don't know what that means. Escalator, by where you didn't warn Molly and I on the escalator.

New car. Fogo in the house. Diesel truck knowledge, big. but you lost the point for I just ignore Wade because I'm the host and I had the ability to take a point for that which brings you to six points so right now marks up seven to six I got a good feeling about this one I feel like you said oh that's point for Bob

oh I have to give that to Bob I feel like you said that a lot I did but we only did three things so you got two of the three and you did lose one so okay well so is it time for the wheel it is wait can we wager

no we gotta wait until we make amendment to the Constitution. I really want to wager points. That sounds fun. It's like Jeopardy. You couldn't get wager up to as many points as you have or $2,000. All right. Well, let's find out if we're doing three wheel spins or not. Oh my god. Oh wow. One wheel spin. My god, it's practically in the bag. That is not a great start for me. I don't know how we're going to track this but the thing I want to add doing best on New Year's resolution. This way we can motivate each other. I feel like we could just talk about it and keep it subjective. Yeah, yeah.

Mine, I don't know what you said yours was, Bob. Was yours walking? Because mine is also walking. Walking 365 miles in 2026. Hopefully a mile a day, but we'll see. I don't have an exact number, but mine is also just going on like daily walks. It's got to be measurable. It's got to be quantifiable.

One spin. I don't want to scare you, Wade, but I just want to pop this up. I'm well aware of how the one-man show is looking. Yeah, we don't have to. If there's any way I can justify giving Mark this point, I just want you to know I will do it. All right. But not because I'm scared of that wheel. It's because 100% Mark was excited to host it because he thought he was hosting and I did too.

That's why. Sure, sure, sure, sure. I thought that was. Oh, that's a point for Mark. Oh, wait, it's not done yet. Best looking. Well, I mean, Mark's in 360P. I don't know what he looks like.

Oh, well, yeah, you know what Mark looks. like get I want to be honest it's been a it's been a day and a half since I showered I'm not feeling not trying to throw the game but I do feel like we have to be honest can I give it to myself I mean I guess I mean I showered today

I feel like I'm not 360 P I don't know feeling grunggy I feel like my camera quality you know Bob's camera quality is coming in better he's saying he's dirty Mark how clean are you I mean I shored one Hey hold on wait hold on Hold on there

Stop You never started answer with well, I mean. I don't have to win. Hold on, hold on, hold on, no. I was just trying to think of when yesterday I showered. I'm going to shower tonight before bed, but I didn't shower this morning because I shored yesterday. I got to give the point to Bob, man.

Oh, come on. His answer at least new. You start with, well, I mean. Oh, come on. If he remembered, he showered five days ago, and I can't remember when I shared you. You would win enough. I also can't see you.

What do you mean? Open your brow. Open your eyes. Mark, there you are. So it's a tie then, is it? Take me to the one man show wheel. There's no way. I kind of hope not because we were hoping to do another episode tonight.

I'm terrified to change anything because I, every time I change something, we lose the stupid. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, get the total number that it is before you do that thing you're about to do. Oh, it just changed. I was too late. I think it was like three. It was three percent? I think I wrote it down.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I wrote it down on the back of my thing. It was 35 percent, 126 degrees. Whatever. What the fuck that means? And how much do we normally add? 2%. No, it starts at 6%.

And then it's two each time, yeah. I wrote it down. So if you don't win, we have to add another 2%. Okay, so 7.2 is what you would add. 7.2 is 2% of 360. Yes. All right. Just for the sake of time, I hope it doesn't land on one-man show.

Come on, baby, come on. Oh, no. There it is. You've never done to do this. I have not. This is the first Wade one-man show ever. I'm going to write you. I'm going to write the best script for you.

Mark. God damn it. Oh, Mr. Drama free. No drama. Everyone, we might be taking a more time than we thought away from distractible. We're not getting that done tonight. Damn wheel, foiling our plans. That's fine.

That's fine. I like it better this way. Hey, then we could just spend the rest of the episode of chatting if you want. We could add more to this episode. I've got nothing to say. No, that's fine. I don't know. I mean, it was a really big section of the wheel.

What about fun for Christmas? We could talk about that while you stew about what you're going to have to say. and do on the one man show. Well, I got lots of food. Molly and I got a new rug for our family room. She got me a really nice razor so I can be bald better. Nice.

Man scaped razor. No, I have one that they sent us years ago that I have been using. It's pretty good. But no, this is a, like, I don't even know how to describe. It's like the little three thing. I don't know.

It looks like it's going to work pretty well. Is it Gillette the best a man can get? Couldn't tell you the brain right at top of my head. Is it men's warehouse? You're going to like the way you look. I guarantee it. I don't think there was a suit in the box. Do they sell, do they have men's warehouse razors?

Oh, 100%. How else would I like the way I look? And why would he guarantee it? I don't know. I guess I never thought to ask. Pretty much every resolution in this episode could have been answered by men's warehouse. You know what I got for Christmas? Oh, I wish I had it with me.

It's way the hell far away in the basement. We're also not sponsored by men's warehouse, allegedly. I got one of those boxing trainers where it's a headband with a ball attached to a stretchy string. And you put it on and then you. Go, go, go, go. And you look really cool is what everyone told me. You look like the coolest guy they've ever seen. I'm not visualizing this properly.

You punch yourself in the head or the balls or what? The ball is on a stretchy thing, right? So when you punch it, the ball goes, and it keeps coming at your face. So you have to keep punching it or hits you in the face. So it's kind of like a timing trainer. Yeah, and you have to say, don't come at my face. No.

Ah, bro, don't come at my face. Yeah. I said, don't come at the face. Got us take camera ready. Amy got me a really nice charcoal Korean grill. So it's like at a Korean wrestling. You'd see this basically set in the table, but it's an outdoor one. Like an indoor Korean barbecue type?

You should probably do it outdoor, most likely. I mean, I guess if it burns charcoal. But you could because it's got a nice stand and like a... The Korean barbecue sounds really good right now. Yeah, yeah. So it's got like a nice charcoal starter. like a little handle so you can put charcoal in there and it lights up real fast and you dump it right in super cool can't wait to use it yeah there's probably more but i'm blanking because i have a terrible

memory yeah actually me too and i'm kind of like man this looks bad on me that i sure remember the presence i got that i cherish so deeply man i there's some things and stuff but also today's been like 30 days long today's that day where literally everyone i've ever known has messaged me for something it feels like and it's like the day before new year's eve and a holiday spoilers there's everyone out there. So I get it's like right before the holiday. Everyone's like, oh,

let's try to get this stuff in. Also before the end of the year. And then also, I guess family and friends are like awake from their Christmas food comas or something because just literally everyone today is like, wait, there's no way you're busy today.

Like, you know, Tuesday is just my busiest day the week, usually. Great. So this, because I'm an exception to the rule of you being busy.

Okay. Okay. Yeah, I was on the phone for like four straight hours today. I'm feeling as the, I think I'm the only extrovert in this group. I feel so introverted that I just want to like go live.

in a cave for about a month and just not bring my phone. I just want to go. I just want peace and quiet and silence for like a month. Relatable. That's not usually me. That's not usually my MO, but God, I feel that way right now. I've been, uh, I've been surprisingly social, which is new for me. But it's kind of like there has been a bit of weight lifted from having the movie so

close to done. And, and the actual, like, intense pressure of getting it done is, uh, there. So, yeah, I've been, uh, a little more social, which weird. Also, like, I invited a bunch of, um, other YouTubers and streamers to the premiere that we did in, in L.A., and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, yeah, there's this whole network of other creators out there that I usually never interact with that I could talk to at any time. And it's kind of like, oh, yeah, I forget that a lot. But no, that's been nice. So that's been pretty cool. Maybe next year my news resolution will

just be B more so. Not a bad one. Mine, less social. We'll trade places. All you have to do is make a movie. To shave your head, I'll grow my hair out. I'm sure it will look like each other and uh we'll probably get similar head chips Bob you got a nice head shape under there no it's not good I got it's bumpy I got like moles or something it's not good I need to keep the hair on my head I sure I'm really tired so we could chat more but I'm gonna we can chat off camera because I'm gonna wrap this one up I'm gonna go lay down I can't that's what I want sounds like you're in a good place 2025 I we did that episode a while back we were like would you rather lose all the money you made or the memories of this year and I was like take my memories

take them, take 2025. I still feel that way about this year. It's just one of those years. It's had some good moments. A lot of, not. A lot of, a lot of muck. So I'm ready to move on. No muck.

It's a good thing. New Year's always changes everything. It doesn't, but man, I keep telling myself it will. No muck. Yeah, sure it will. This time it will. Get me out of the muck. Help me.

This is a cry for help. Get me out of the muck. Guys, pull me out. Hmm. And congratulations to our winner today, who is you. It's you. You get to heart. the next episode, so you won.

All right, well, thank you guys for competing. You guys motivated me, and I won. This is, like, the best day ever for me. I can't wait. Has it historically counted as a win? I actually don't remember. Whatever it historically did. Yeah, we'll try to do as the animals of history has said.

Do you two have any not-winner's speech? You guys didn't really lose? Not-winner's speeches? I got a lot of ideas from the script that Mark wrote that I performed on my one-man show. It opened my eyes to what is possible. I'm excited for you, Wade. I'm excited for the opportunity you've been presented with.

When we originally came up with the one-man show idea, I was thinking like the one-man show that Tyler and Ethan made me do back in the day where they rented out of theater, wrote a full play, invited people to watch the play and filmed it all. It was actually embarrassing. But it was really, really funny. Thankfully, we're too lazy here at Distractable Studios to do that. I'm gonna rent a theater in Cincinnati.

Oh, yeah, no, Mark, let's talk about that. I'm sure there are some spaces we could rent out. We could do it. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, we can make it happen. Yeah. That's okay. Don't worry, Wade.

We're gonna put a lot of effort into this. Actually, we don't rent any place. We send him with a GoPro into like a kid's laser tag place, and he has to fight against the children. Send you into a laser tag place, feed you lines, and the goal is the episode ends when you get kicked out. Or arrested. Either or. You should have said what your dad said when he found out your mom was pregnant.

Abort. Mark, any words from you? I will say, for everyone that's been like, where's Australia? Where's the UK? Hey, there was a thing called Christmas that happened, and people don't talk about business on holidays. So there was a whole period there where it's like,

They didn't want to talk to. They kind of just stop answering their emails, which is really convenient. Yeah, I got yelled at for you guys not being in Canada. I got yelled at for it. I was like, they are going to Canada. They're like, not Newfoundland. I was like, okay.

You know what? Fuck Newfoundland. Everyone hates Newfoundland. We all know you're the wherever you are in Canada, and everyone wishes you weren't that part of the body that is Canada. Where's Newfoundland? And unfortunately, Mark can't go to Greenland because that's where Gerard Butler's been filming.

I am legally required to be so far away from Gerard Butler. Everyone knows it. Are you guys uncool? No, it was a joke because he's literally got a movie coming out called Greenland 2. Greenland 2? Yeah, there was a Greenland 1. Actually, pretty well-received movie. It's like a disaster movie, like comets heading to Earth kind of thing.

Huh, interesting. Like the movie, fuck, what was the one called with Bruce Willis way back when Armageddon? Like Armageddon, but like if the meteor actually hit. Oh, you mean Deep Impact? I've not seen that one either. Oh, and it's Morgan Freeman in it, so... It was well received, though. Like, I like Jordan Butler's films.

They're kind of like the silly over-the-top actiony sometimes. Like, this one was, uh, it was pretty solid. I didn't think it got to the realm of, like, crazy as far as, like, the unrealism. So it was a good movie. But there's a sequel. Anywho, if you haven't already, go follow Mark and Mark and Markiplier, Bob at My Sker, me at Minion 777 or Lord Minion 777. Merch, maybe.

I don't know. I don't even know what, when this is. We've had merch for a while. One of the shirts is actually It's a really smart design for a shirt Have you seen the designs? I believe I've seen all of them Yes, which one are you talking about?

The A Fantasia one Oh, I love that shirt That's a great shirt It's such a smart shirt Like I'm shocked it's for our podcast Like it's just really clever So I'm very excited about that one Oh wow the look

You guys have to look Because the link's on the screen There it is the link for the merch Because it's That's how Spotify works Yeah, that's how, that's how it works. I'm sorry, wait, do you not remember to, so you can't say it because you don't remember what it is? What?

Yes? It's, uh, distractible.com, I think, buddy. All right, I'd give you a point, but I've already got to do a one-man show, so fuck you guys in your points. See you all next time for that. That's aggressive. Until then, I'm going to go get some meat and sleep. You lost a win. I, yeah.

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