Distractible - Markiplier and Friends

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

Today Mark has two random friends on the pod to talk about his favorite things: hard drives, weird news, and space. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Navigating adulting isn't always easy. You're not just working, you're working late. And dinner dates are all, what's your five-year plan? And you're thinking, paying off the bill for this fancy pants meal probably. So when you need to break free from responsibility and experience something that feels more you, reach for Kraft Dinner. Because when you're starved for moments that bring you back to who you really are and what you really love, that's when it's got to be KD.
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Starting point is 00:00:55 ford owners get a thousand dollar bonus for details visit your local ford store or ford.ca this episode is brought to you by secret secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Markiplier's Distractible.
Starting point is 00:01:34 This week, the malefluent, muscular, majestic, magnetic Mark invites two meager, melodramatic misanthropes, Wob and Bade, or something like that, to bask in his tour de force. The merciful, multi-talented, majestic one is merry and memorable as he meanders through his mental makeup, motivating many. From Mark being manifestly marketable
Starting point is 00:01:57 to Mark being maddeningly mercurial. Yes. It's time for Machiplier and Friends. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Yes, hello and welcome to Machiplier and Friends, the podcast. Thank you, Baltimore, for the lovely assist there. I'm sure that you gave me a glowing glowing introduction and i always appreciate you being here for my podcast which this is welcome thank you so much for
Starting point is 00:02:31 listening uh to markiplier and friends and i have many friends so you're probably wondering like which friends could you possibly be talking about well i looked around at my many many friends and i said ah you two will do so i'm joined today by uh random friend one and random friend two uh what are your names again doesn't matter do we have to talk no i mean you could just leave it all to me anyway it is my show after all yeah no it's true it is your it is your show yeah yeah we haven't changed the official art yet but that's on the way i haven't changed the official art yet um placeholder stuff on the way. I haven't changed the official art yet. Placeholder stuff, all very temporary, will be addressed very soon.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Are you going to explain the format there, Mr.? Format? It's a talk show. I am the host, as I always am and always will be. And what do we do? Huh? Why are we here, Mark? What to talk? So I can talk about my favorite subjects and you guys can listen.
Starting point is 00:03:27 No, so we're not here to talk. Well, I mean, if I need some hilarious banter or something like that, I guess I could. Well, I mean, I would be the source of the hilarious banter. But then I guess you guys could be the laugh track. Ah, not yet. Not yet. Not yet. I knew you wouldn't be good at that job.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Not yet, not yet, not yet. I knew you wouldn't be good at that job, but... Well, anyway, on today's show, I'm going to be the lovely host talking about some of my favorite things that definitely no one ever hates me talking about. And I talk about them because I like talking about them because they're my passions. And so if I want to talk about the new 60 terabyte NVMe SSD that's coming out very soon, then I'm going to talk about that. I can't wait for it. Anyway, but before I do, I might as well, I am a gracious and good host, so I'm going to allow a moment for my friends, my and friends, to tell me about their days.
Starting point is 00:04:18 How are your days? Oh, doing just well, just well. asking thanks bud i woke up at um 3 40 this morning it's been a long day already somehow yeah it's only like noon still on day i woke up at 11 20 this morning so it's been about an hour wow look look if this if this bit is the one thing that gets way to put foam up on his walls honestly it might be the most productive episode we've ever had. How dare you? I've already got panels ready to go. I'm just getting more ready. Stick them up in random
Starting point is 00:04:53 orientations behind you on the wall, I beg. Then I have to undo it later again and I don't want to. Ah, but the bit, the bit. Look, they're already in random, I don't know if you can see, they're already in random orientation. The same thing happened to Amy and I because I got a new TV because the TV we had started to get this line down the middle of it, like in the left third of it. Just this big line.
Starting point is 00:05:14 It's actually been that way for a year and I haven't gotten a new one. I was playing Elden Ring with a line that was growing bigger and bigger every day. The line was a secret mini boss that was coming to get you. Yeah, I know, right? It was very scary, very immersive. But then I basically said, all right, fine, I'm going to get a new TV. And so we got it. And I, you know, this is my fault because I paid.
Starting point is 00:05:37 I bought it off Amazon, okay? Because I don't even know where to buy a TV these days. But I bought it off Amazon and I paid for like the installation, right? Because sometimes you can get like local install on these. Um, and I paid for it. And then when the guys show up, they are there, they come down and they bring it inside and they're like, all right, sign here. And I go, well, I paid for the installation and they go, look at the thing. No, you didn't. That sounds like my dishwasher. Look at the order, the purchase, the whatever PO. And they're like installation. Nah didn't nah nah nah see i
Starting point is 00:06:08 told you oh god what it was was um they were actually very nice i didn't have any problem with them like you know not low's people uh but they brought it in and they were like oh no no you got the um the the unboxing which is not installation because I had a wall mount. Who would want that? Yeah, I know. I thought it was like the full installation would apply because I had a wall mount already. I just needed to take it off the other TV and get this one off, get this one on. And I couldn't do it alone because it's a big ass TV.
Starting point is 00:06:39 So they were very kind and they, they called up customer service and even like the delivery drivers have to wait in line for customer service because they got they got me refunded for the installation so i really do appreciate what they were doing but they were in my house for like 30 minutes standing around and i kept thinking the whole time we could have just done this yeah if i give these guys like 100 a piece could we do this literally can one of you just hold the side of the tv that's up there and take it down with me and then once i I have the bracket on the new one, just lift the new one up and slide it on there real quick. Yeah, it was actually like there were three of us because there's two guys delivering
Starting point is 00:07:11 and I'm like, between three of us, one of us could be on the phone. Two of us could be doing this. I'll be on the phone. I feel like that should be my job anyway. You could have offered them your emergency fund hanging TV cash. I always keep a few extra hundred around just in case I need to pay someone under the table to hang a TV. You never know when you might need it. It's not under the table. It's all...
Starting point is 00:07:29 It's completely over the table. You know cash is legal tender for all debts, public and private. Wink. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Non-watchers are gonna be offended by that, Wade. He winked. You gotta say wink when you do that. They can read it. It'll be on subtitles or something.
Starting point is 00:07:45 As host, I declare a new rule for Will to give him more work. And Sam, every time one of us winks, you must put in this sound. Wink. And then so everyone at home knows who's not watching that we're winking. We need a whole library of Mark alt text, like descriptions just to be like, he took a sip of a drink. eyes bob is raising his hand but all in mark's voice you're like yes extra work for you got to get robot mark for that one the tv is now still sitting um in my living room just leaned up against the wall under the old one well it's on
Starting point is 00:08:26 its stand it came with but it's uh it's in front of the fireplace so um if only you had and friends to help you yeah i know anyway but i have and friends to help me here how else is your lives there's more trash on the floor behind me this time than there was before so that's that's progress i unpacking feels awful man you start with a room full of boxes and it's kind of messy and the moment you start opening boxes it's like shit just goes everywhere you pull things out and you're like i don't know where this goes i don't know where this goes uh the floor i guess and there's nowhere to put stuff because everything's covered in boxes everywhere my office is covered in the little like
Starting point is 00:09:04 command strip tape removal things. Do you not have a trash can? I've done that. You just put them in the trash can. They stay in there. For some reason, I was like, I'll get a trash can in my office after I get it foamed up.
Starting point is 00:09:15 It's like my punishment for not getting it done. I've been cutting up some of the foam panels to like fit that. There's like the wall is just not one foot enough to where there was like a gap like yay big and i was like i can't just leave that gap so i've got my like foam cut panels where i cut sections off to squeeze into the gap oh lori why did you cut those with safety scissors safety scissors they're let's show the cut the cuts all curvity worvity these are bigger those are unsafe scissors oh boy you need you need a straight edge my friend tell you what look at my ass oh what's wrong with
Starting point is 00:09:53 this cut no that's not right there you go yeah no i could see why you did that that's gonna make a really nice neat line on the edge i oversized the cut slightly then i just cram it in so when it expands you don't even need another command strip to hold it so once you cram it in after the first week it's up there it'll start to really bow away from the wall because it's going to be pushed in from the edge it'll be perfect yeah yeah man i can't wait like you know how i i was on a ryobi kick last year well ryobi days came and went without my input, and I didn't buy a single thing. Oh, I missed it? Yeah, Ryobi days are gone.
Starting point is 00:10:30 I was going to get some stuff this year. I don't even know what the hell you're talking about. Was that a thing? It's like a, it's, what do you mean you don't know about Ryobi days? What are you talking about? Ryobi, how do you spell it? Ryobi. Now, we're not sponsored by Ryobi for anyone out there,
Starting point is 00:10:45 but if we were. That just happens to be the brand of tools that Mark and I both have for some reason. Because they're cheap and they're not from Lowe's. I found a Ryobi casino. Anyway, they're coming out with this new line of smaller tools with little USB batteries, and
Starting point is 00:11:01 one of them's a foam cutter. I do nothing that needs foam cutting, but the idea of them's a foam cutter and i'm like i do nothing that needs foam cutting but the idea of a portable handheld foam cutter i'm like yes like a like a hot wire foam cutter type yes with all kinds of tools you got your span wire cutter you get your poke wire cutter you got all those and then even in that section in the uh the the small, the USB section, they've got like a hand Dremel that's like portable cordless. The idea being these are like cordless tools. You got your power cutter. The power cutter would be great or the foam cutter would be great.
Starting point is 00:11:36 They got the magnifying glass. A magnifying? What is, how is it powered? What powers? Light. Light. Oh, okay. You got a hand inflator.
Starting point is 00:11:44 You hold it up and it's just glass. You turn it on and it's all magnified. Here's the crazy thing that I'm like, I already have a Ryobi soldering kit, like a soldering gun. They have a cordless one. That's just battery. And it's like, oh, I can solder anywhere. I can solder in my attic. I can solder in a tree.
Starting point is 00:12:04 I can solder by the bees. You can solder off your knee. I can solder anywhere. I can solder in my attic. I can solder in a tree. I can solder by the bees. You can solder off your knee. I can solder, yeah. Well, the battery probably won't last that long. Anyway, it came and went, and you can use a foam cutter. Yeah. You want my address? You can send one.
Starting point is 00:12:17 So it can sit in a box on the floor of your office for the next six years? Come on, almighty mark complier you know and friends can't survive without you and your coin purse fill us daddy with your ryobi you heard you heard us say it you don't have to pretend like you're reading it you heard us say it out loud a bunch i mean if you were reading it that's absolutely a fair i'm just an and friend i need no sympathy because i'm easy come easy go little high little low are we npcs now gang gang i used to be a podcast host like you wait do you have any idea what bob is talking about right now how how out of touch are you wade well that's not even fair how how chronically online are we, Wade?
Starting point is 00:13:06 That's the question. Ice cream. What's a WoW reference? Ice cream. So good. Gang, gang. Gang, gang. That's from the Lich King.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Sure. Probably. It's old. It's classic at this point. Like Wrath of the Lich King? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. I remember the final battle when the Lich King came down from the throne in
Starting point is 00:13:25 Icecrown Citadel. Gang gang! The Lich King came out and was like, Cowboy Hat, thanks partner. Gang gang. Gang gang. I figure there's at least a 50% chance that it was a reference you two knew it was WoW. Well, since when do I know things about WoW? Mark does. Hence why I
Starting point is 00:13:42 went for Lich King, because it's old. I've played WoW so little that I don't even think I went for Lich King because it's old. I played WoW so little that I don't even think I finished the Lich King content when I was doing the playthrough from beginning to current. Anyway, it's TikTok update, Wade. You gotta watch TikTok. You're missing out on the NPC craze. It's just really... Oh, now I don't feel bad at all for not knowing if it's fucking TikTok. How do we even explain this? It's not that hard to explain. It's hard to explain why it's popular, I think, but it's not hard to explain what it is. Do you want to know what it is, Wade? Yeah. If you can explain it like succinctly, please do for Wade. So on TikTok, when you're live, it, you know, you, you use that thing, what is that? Snap
Starting point is 00:14:19 filter where you could like put hats on yourself or masks or whatever. So on TikTok, when you're live, people can send you money. Essentially. It's like bits on Twitch kind of it's in platform. They buy a thing and they send it to you through TikTok. And some of them are just like a little rose and chat or something like that. But some of them are like an ice cream cone appears in front of your face or a cowboy hat shows up on your head or whatever. And what's her, what's the name? Pinky, Piggy doll? I have no idea. There's a specific creator that, that has become incredibly famous for doing what's called NPC content,
Starting point is 00:14:52 where she just goes live and all she does is respond in the exact same way every time to people giving her money. So there's, they send her an ice cream cone and it pops up on screen and she goes, ice cream. So good. Or they send her an ice cream cone and it pops up on screen and she goes, Hmm, ice cream. So good. Or some shit like that.
Starting point is 00:15:08 And each, each different thing you can send, she has an NPC type response for. So it's just her sitting there going gang, gang, gang, gang, ice cream.
Starting point is 00:15:17 So good. Ooh, cowboy hat. Thank you. That's it. She doesn't. The consistency is what makes it. So I'm not saying captivating because
Starting point is 00:15:25 it's not captivating to me hypnotic in like a weird way yeah it's hypnotic it's just like you could fall into a rhythm like wow that's what then you just kind of keep doing that it's like it's not a car crash style looking at something but it's just like because it's not a disaster but also it's just like it's like annoying but also like it keeps you like oh okay like it's not a disaster, but also it's just like, it's like annoying, but also like it keeps you like, oh, okay. Like it's weird. It's very weird. Also my favorite clips I've seen of that though. I've never actually watched her live.
Starting point is 00:15:52 I've seen a bunch of clips. My favorite is when she just streams like in her kitchen or different, you know, in her house. She has like a family, right? She has like a kids or a kid or kids or something. And there's a clip I've seen where she's all like, she's doing it. like gang gang whatever shut up don't do that i'm busy stop doing that to the dog gang gang gang and it's like like whoa whoa holy crap what the hell like those are those are the things i think are the funniest because she's clearly like her kid is you know teasing the
Starting point is 00:16:22 dog or something it's like like you're a real person i forgot for two seconds jesus i don't know i think i see that one i think that's like a parody of it there are a lot of parodies of that of because that's one of the the most like funny jarring type of clips that that she has there's like it's it's crazy because when you get that level of meme ability and the sharing happening and people copying it because there's a lot of money in it that's also did you mention that bob there's a lot of money in this she makes the most money by doing nothing but that and there are a ton of people who have latched onto this trend who are also just making like every single thing there's there's dozens of things like a second all of that's just money it's just people throwing money at her to get her
Starting point is 00:17:03 and it's not even like you would think some of it's like money it's just people throwing money at her to get her and it's not even like you would think some of it's like dirty or sexual potentially right because that's kind of a thing on the internet that people people could get creepy and give money to people to like buy foot pics or whatever i mean creepy is judgy but it's not even like sexy or anything it's just very mundane reactions to things that are happening it's it weird, but there's so much money in it. Yeah, about $7,000 a day. I don't know if that's at the peak or if that's consistent, but, you know, it's a lot of money.
Starting point is 00:17:33 I gotta call timeout. I gotta call timeout. I'll be right back. Sorry. Bye, Wade. He's gonna sign up for TikTok. All right, Mark, what kind of handshake deal are we making here? What kind of bullshit?
Starting point is 00:17:43 Do you want to make a deal that somehow usurps the piss pants? I will try and bait Wade into doing the, oh, Captain, my Captain, we both piss our pants type thing to try and end your tyrannical reign here that you've got going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:58 Okay. But then there's some kind of deal where his piss pants doesn't count for some reason. Can we do that? Is that a thing we can do? Are there rules about this yeah uh maybe it's like two two pants pissed cancel each other out or something like that i don't know i'm willing to make a deal i'm willing to make a deal because it's really like it's really weighed that i'm against at the moment i'm really you know you
Starting point is 00:18:17 made the handshake deal that that caused me so much pain and suffering that's true that is true i feel like there's often situations where the blame is for some reason not placed on you when it's entirely your fault. But I don't feel like this one actually is. It's really never my fault, really. But if there's some way we could... Listen, if you find a way to make the people on the subreddit realize how great I actually am and how much I deserve this and how they're lucky they're lucky that I'm taking over right now um then maybe I would consider some deal that would be advantageous to you in some way uh but but you know it's like I I'm I'm I feel great I feel I
Starting point is 00:19:00 feel like I feel like this is how things should be look Look, maybe I'm just out for total numbers. What if we do something where you give me, at the end of the episode, you surprise give me the win, but I'll just gift it back to you. So I'll take the number, but I'll give it back to you. I'll think about it. Sorry, getting a thing delivered and the guy needed help. Not very good at his job or?
Starting point is 00:19:19 Just had questions. We're getting like a dumpster to finish emptying out the old house so we can list it. There's like old doors and crap that people that owned it before left and we're trying to empty it so he was like which house is yours it's like the one with the address we gave you oh those numbers really do mean a lot when you look at the address part do i put it on the grass i mean no the way he talked kind of reminded me i don't know of which, it's not Full Metal Jacket military dude, but like one of the classic military guys that talk. Maybe it's like the bad guy from Avatar, like the...
Starting point is 00:19:51 Oh, the bad sergeant. The sergeant guy with like the scar. I think the way he talked kind of reminded me of him. And it sounded like he had chewing tobacco and all in his mouth as he was like, Sir, where you want this? I don't know. I can't do a good impression of that man, but it reminded me of that man. As far as I know, you sound exactly like him.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Yeah. You got to meet this man. Also, sorry to interrupt your ice cream. Nom, nom, nom. I don't even remember what we were doing. Anyway, it's weird. I'm not even saying I don't like it or respect the hustle, but it's weird. It doesn't do it for me, but also i'm intrigued at how popular this stuff is very
Starting point is 00:20:25 interesting it's like a less off-putting gamer girl bath water type deal it's like it's not where you're buying someone's thing but it's like one of those like that's a weird simple thing that's oddly successful and i don't understand it and yet i think the gamer girl bath water is way less confusing why it's successful i think it's i don't know i'd rather i think the npc makes more sense to me than buying water i think uh lots of people online have a bit of money and are into whatever they're into i guess that's true and just know i do internally judge all of them is this enough to get you to get on tiktok wait i'm on tiktok i make tiktok? And by that, I mean Dana does. You have a TikTok? Yeah, I think.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Do you? We've been posting on there, yeah. Well, we've been posting some. We've started. I thought you didn't have one. I didn't even... What's your name? The Minion 777. Oh, of course it is.
Starting point is 00:21:19 I've got two TikToks. Oh, apparently we're friends. Oh, you follow me, but I don't follow you. Oh, wait, no, that's not you. There's one that looks way more like you that's not you. I don't know why it's a sunglasses picture of me, but that's the one I have. Wow, look at this guy.
Starting point is 00:21:33 This is hilarious, because some people, you know, they have social media managers, and, you know, they have like a company or like a team that runs their socials. Wade doesn't even know that he has a team running his socials for him. Like this mysterious account got made for you. I don't remember how it got made.
Starting point is 00:21:52 I don't remember if I did it or if Dana did it. I think that one of my friends, I think like JP or somebody pressured me. They were like visiting. They were like, I won't leave your house till you make a TikTok. And I was like, get the fuck out of my house. Fine. Here, I made one. Now leave. I feel like that's how it got made. And then I was like, get the fuck out of my house. Fine, here, I made one, now leave.
Starting point is 00:22:05 I feel like that's how it got made. And then Dana was like, well, we can actually post to it. And I was like, fine. You want to post a highlight or something? Go for it. This is my thing why I don't do a lot of social media. It's not because I'm like, oh, I hate this platform. It's because if I'm not going to be able to do the platform
Starting point is 00:22:20 with any kind of actual enjoyment out of it, if I don't enjoy using it, then I'm like, I'm not going to post out of obligation for something. So I get what you're saying there, which is like, if you don't care about it, like why have one in the first place?
Starting point is 00:22:33 Because a lot of people are like, are just of the mind of like, oh, you got to post on this platform to maximize your exposure. And I'm like, what is the point of that? Like, what is the point of constantly chasing stuff like that? Because it just doesn't mean anything. But if you like it,
Starting point is 00:22:43 a lot of people out there on TikTok really enjoy the process of making stuff on there. If I didn't have these other projects that I was doing and I enjoyed TikTok and using it and actually posting on it, I would a lot more. But the desire to make a shitty TikTok, which is all my TikToks actually are, even from the very beginning before when it was Musical.ly, I made just, literally it made me laugh to do the Shrek 2, I need a hero, and just like mouth to that because I can't remember who was there, but it was just like some restaurants, like someone was like, you gotta make a Musical.ly.
Starting point is 00:23:18 And I'm like, all right, I guess. Shrek 2, that was in Short Circuit first. Yeah, I know. I'm talking about the Shrek 2 version of it. Oh, okay. I see people talk about like, I love that song. I need a hero from Shrek 2. And it's like, no, it was Short Circuit first. It was Bonnie Tyler all the time. Stop. Well, I don't know, but I knew it wasn't from there. I just like, that's what I found the Shrek 2 version of.
Starting point is 00:23:41 And the reason that I did that one is because my mom really loves Shrek 2. My mom, I don't know if still to this day, but there was a time when I was living in my mom's house way back when that she would watch Shrek 2 every day every day that's a lot to on and so it'd always be in the background at some point in the movie I would walk into the living room and be playing and she'd be watching it or passively watching it it was just like what she did and so every time at the end it would come up i need a hero you know and i'd just be like you know in the kitchen making every every day is a lot listen i we have a i have been very into things but i don't know if i've ever gone every day with anything quite like that that's that's very dedicated.
Starting point is 00:24:26 I've done it with songs. I've had a song like for like a week or two. It's been an earworm that like every day I'll listen to the song. That's short form. A movie is commitment. Yeah, it's things like that that makes my mom's English so funny because she has like you listen to my mom. She has a really interesting way of speaking.
Starting point is 00:24:44 She doesn't speak perfect English, but I think she speaks English perfectly. And there is a distinction there because she uses English in a way that you're immediately able to understand. And it's in creative combinations that you would never expect. Shrek is an example of that because she will quote Shrek all the time in weird ways. And I don't think this is from Shrek, but it's part of her media consumption where she will be able to like get something to quotability. I don't remember why. And I don't remember the circumstances and I don't remember what it was, but we were FaceTiming and for some reason she did a line in a Western, in a Southern accent
Starting point is 00:25:19 or something like that. For a brief window of time, my mom spoke in a perfect southern accent korean accent gone perfectly southern it jump scared me with the intensity and perfection of that accent because my mom does not speak like that but that's how she consumes media it was suddenly the southern drawl came out of my mom and i was just like what in the hell i cannot picture your mom doing that i know it so, it was startling. And it stunned me so much. I wasn't even able to like stop her and be like, what just happened? It was just like, I thought another person was in a room talking for some reason.
Starting point is 00:25:56 But yeah, it's very strange. I don't know how we got started talking about this, but. This episode is brought to you by Tresemme. Want silky smooth hair that's still full of natural movement? The Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection is your simple solution. This new collection features a wide range of products from nourishing shampoo and conditioner to lightweight heat protectants and a silky smooth serum for a sleek finish. Wave goodbye to frizz and say hello to three days of smooth hair with the Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection. Visit Tresemme.com to learn more.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Anyway, that's enough small talk. Back to the subject at hand, which is obviously the topics which interest me for the latest period of time in between the last ones, the most the big talk, the biggest talk is actually when I talk about my life. Latest adventures that I've been pursuing is chip design. So as we all know, semiconductors are a very prominent field and are expanding rapidly. And I often wonder, hmm? Uh-huh. I'm just nodding along. Yep.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Okay. All right. Cool. Yeah. I'm with you. Yep. I'm wondering, you know, in, in, in the era of chip design, we've talked about it before where like chip designs are so advanced that you can't actually like make them on a minute level. Um, and you have to like create, you know, software that basically bulk orders like, okay, we basically established this system works. And I'm'm like how do you even get into that field so i was looking it up and you know it's actually very interesting you know even to get started in an entry-level position it's like you require a master's degree because the the
Starting point is 00:27:34 field is advancing so quickly you know you got your ultraviolet lithography in terms of like getting down to the angstrom levels of wait are you listening to shakira no i love listen to anthropomorphic uh lasers go on what else was i talking about the freckles on your body you know that's funny but it's so weird he did say i did i did say that that's so strange but it's so weird. He did say lay-lo-lo-lay-lo-lay. I did. I did say that. That's so strange. All right.
Starting point is 00:28:08 I guess you were paying attention to this. You need to have a master's degree to get into the lay-lo-lo-lay-lo-lay. All right. Fine. I guess if that's not interesting enough for you guys. I was there. I'm with you. Move on, though.
Starting point is 00:28:21 Move on, though. Move on? Okay. All right. Well, okay. So Solid Dime is releasing a new hard drive. It's the D5336 60 terabyte NVMe SSD. It's actually quite an impressive feat to be able to get an SSD of that size. But also, it seems like the price is going
Starting point is 00:28:40 to be alarmingly competitive for how big is that? Does that into a normal like m.2 nvme no it's not an m.2 it's a u.2 so it's about the same size as a sata ssd right so oh interesting but it's instead of seven and a half millimeters thick i think it's 15 millimeters thick so just slightly thicker is that a pcie then or how does that interface u.2 yeah what does that mean i don't know what that means. So basically U.2, there's SATA, which is like there's a SATA power and then a SATA connector, right? And so that in the form factor that is, it's like in the same little thing. What U.2 did is it actually connected those two and created more interfaces so that it could plug into roughly the same equivalency. And so it's kind of made it so that it was backwards compatible with SATA, but U.2 cannot be plugged into SATA it was backwards compatible with SATA but U.2
Starting point is 00:29:25 cannot be plugged into SATA but SATA could be plugged into U.2 and then there's U.3 which is even faster that and all these are basically the same thing M.2 is another form factor of this same kind of idea but for a more compact thing so U.2 has a similar bandwidth to an M.2 type of drive or they're all PCI express so that's nvme is non-volatile memory express um so it's all based on pci express like bandwidth slots see wait are you you listening did she carry again oh i don't need to take off my headphone why do you gotta lift your earphone to listen to me i'm in the earphone i forgot you weren't in the same room it just felt like you were right here telling me about the sata cables and uh pci u.3s and twos
Starting point is 00:30:09 how they interface wow yeah i'm with you he's getting it he's getting it this actually is interesting just because that's an unbelievably large hard drive it is thick no it's actually very it's actually quite thin it's thick compared to normal hard drive but like that's very thin for what it is yeah so it's like 60 terabytes in this package is like a really cool thing oh 60 terabytes six zero yeah that's pretty thin for that much yeah it's it's it's coming out soon and the crazy thing is and this is not this is going to sound crazy for the price 60 terabytes for of ssd speeds like that's seven gigabytes a second reading like five gigabytes a second writing hugely fast speeds for uh 60 terabytes for about like maybe it's gonna be like 3500 that's way less than i would have guessed i was thinking 4000 would be like
Starting point is 00:30:58 about equivalent if you bought a bunch of 10 terabyte these are ssd yeah yeah even if you bought even if you bought 60 60 terabytes of normal disc i mean they're cheap now but if you want like high rpm like 7200 rpm discs that's not terrible it's like per terabyte it's it's like two and a half to three times more expensive but for 10 20 times the speed the speed is and density of like data is like incredibly better i mean i remember when a terabyte ssd not even an nvme format but like the old the old style ssd drives it's like 800 bucks or a thousand dollars for like a terabyte or two terabyte you know over the last decade that's like a big oh yeah price decrease even though that's still it's a lot for a hard drive but and now like now you can get
Starting point is 00:31:45 a one terabyte nvme an m.2 for 40 bucks yeah no they're like they're so cheap that you might as well get them because unless you need some obscene amount of storage space interesting very interesting let's see it is and this is why things like i don't like what apple does because they charge to get one terabyte more in their in their computers is like another 200 bucks and we all know one terabyte is only of ssd is 40 bucks that's an apple terabyte uh which is uh tim cook uh kisses all of those on the cheek before they go in the right of course of course of course so that's where the extra cost is from tim cook's time is very valuable mr apple himself has a lot he could be doing i thought his name was mr apple who's this cook guy i have very fair and unbiased opinions about technology
Starting point is 00:32:33 and i am like i have my finger on the pulse of what the people want yeah no the subreddit is gonna love this conversation they're gonna love this conversation wait i know he's the host but do we need him can you can we start like a separate do we mute him is that possible i guess i have control can i mute you you're i was gonna say you're at the helm what what would happen if i did this no i i say hey hey it worked the kiss is like i'm found and lucky that my first first mom and okay well if you're just gonna if he's just gonna sing i'll unmute you mark can you hear me oh, if you're just gonna... If he's just gonna sing, I'll unmute you, Mark. Can you hear me? Oh, hey, yeah, you must be cutting out.
Starting point is 00:33:09 Oh, that's interesting. That's very interesting. I wonder, maybe you should be nicer to me, Mark. Not Wade for any reason, but suddenly I have so much power in this room. I also can do that. I saw a mute button and it did not give me more options than me. I mean, muting yourself is certainly some level of power, but I don't know if I don't know if that's going to intimidate Mark or anything. What do you not want the technology talk?
Starting point is 00:33:36 You know what? The 60 terabyte thing that was interesting to me. That is. I what else you got? I feel like we talked about that. What else do you got? What's next? All right. Well, you know, Mr. uh mr topics i don't have anything to talk but what are you what you being combative i'm the host mr walk on me i'm the walkway lead me to the building fuck you
Starting point is 00:33:55 i'm what you guys have you guys ever seen that have you ever seen that that old internet meme the guy's like who are you mr walkway mr walk on me in the walkway lead me to the building fuck you no it's like a very this is like a got emailed around type of like meme thing but this was uh there's a whole thing what oh what is that called two toes johnny who put all these chairs here uh whose chairs are these these aren't my chairs i can't remember what uh subreddit help oh that's not gonna help uh subreddit help if you if you like google like mr walk walk on me i'm the walkway i'm sure it would come up i'm not gonna do that because if you don't want to hear about the
Starting point is 00:34:36 technological advances and whatever have you drinking out of cups that's what it's called i have a bottle i will say uh in all honesty so curious, like, how many other people out there, if it's just like an ADHD thing, where it's, I'll look into something like, okay, this is, for example, everyone listening, hold with me. Like with chip design. What is playing? What? Are you also listening to Shakur?
Starting point is 00:35:00 Are you okay? What was, someone's, a video was just autoplayinglay? I think for some reason, I don't know why. I thought I was like, share. I'm not doing nothing. Hey, I have no idea. Anyway, don't know what that was. But it's this weird thing where I'll get curious about something, whether it's technology or something. And I'll be like, chip design.
Starting point is 00:35:18 What is that? Suddenly, I have so much desire to commit my entire life, to change my entire trajectory, to understand and be like, I don't even have a passion for chip design or anything. It was a mild curiosity. And suddenly I'm like, what if I went back to school and got a master's degree in chip design? Maybe start with your bachelor's, dude. Air horn sound effects. Mute him. Mute him. Mute him him right now put the air horns right here for everyone listening he pulled up his green screen and pointed to it and asked will to put
Starting point is 00:35:57 air horns in the green screen which just shows how much he has an understanding of editing which is good i which is a good understanding thank you anyway what is that what is that about like i mean i know i haven't been able to get like a prescription for a very long time now um i've been without medication for quite some time so it's been a little bit exacerbated i mean that's that's like hyper fixation right i mean that's what that is yeah something like that you you go you do a lot you go a lot more intense than i do i think the thing for me is i have to be kind of interested in it and so there are things that i come back to but the one that's the most concerning to me every time i've watched breaking bad from start to finish a couple times it's a good show it's
Starting point is 00:36:40 entertaining it's kind of dark kind of depressing but there's a point when i when i'm watching through that show there's a there's always a point when I'm watching through that show, there's always a point where I'm watching. It's usually around the time where they get the big lab that's in the laundry place. It's in the laundry where all the industrial laundry machines and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where I'm like, that's good money.
Starting point is 00:36:58 And it seems so easy. I didn't study chemistry a lot, but I have a knack for science. I could probably get a handle on cooking up some crystal meth. Wouldn't that just be, what if I did that? What if I became a drug? No, that's exactly what I do, except with the weirdest thing like chip design. I'm like, what if I looked up what the software that everyone uses? What if I just look it up?
Starting point is 00:37:22 And then, oh, Google has a program where they'll print your chip designs for you if you just want to get into it because they're trying to get more people involved i'm like that could be yeah but yours is like fine and mine is like not good and i don't it's not like i go and google like how do i cook blue meth but like it's i just had that definitely happens to me but it's with way less good stuff i mean i used to watch like Dexter and think, dude, if I was trying to hide a body, I wouldn't have done it that way. Clearly you should have, like, Jesus, man. Are you even thinking about how to dispose of it properly?
Starting point is 00:37:54 Put some effort in, Dex. There are definitely some moments in Dexter, too, where certain villains that come up over the seasons and stuff where he finally succeeds and takes them out or whatever, and you're kind of like you know he's right i think he's on to something like wait wait a minute i i with dexter i used to watch that show like as it was coming out and i really you know you don't notice until later but you really notice like how off the rails it starts to go because i i know that show like came back for for like one season to to like finish it off um but i really did think it was very strange by the time they got to like these flashbacks where
Starting point is 00:38:31 the two main characters were playing themselves as their teenage self and you see michael c hall with like this weird wig and like oh i'm a teenager i'm like he's in his mid-30s isn't it this isn't working you could hire someone who looked like him, I thought. It was just like, and not to discredit Michael C. Hall for doing that, like, you know, if the showrunner says you do it, I guess you gotta do it if the director's like, put on this wig! You're a teenager now!
Starting point is 00:38:56 I guess you gotta, but it's just like, it's just like getting really weird and then, like, I don't know, that show just, like, started to derail. So I think the murder became, like, the least strange part of it. I don't know that show just like started to derail so i think the murder became like the the least strange part of it i don't know why that reminded me of a bit we did i give tyler a hard time for this all the time we were doing the you're welcome tour there was a a day in the life that we were doing where we interviewed somebody we were like doing improv based on their life i came out and i was very obviously trying to portray like a mom figure and i was like oh
Starting point is 00:39:23 you need to clean up your toys or do this and do that and uh no no i was being the baby i had like my blankie and i had like my thumb i was like putting my thumb in my mouth i was walking around like and tyler goes okay mom and i was like that's right sweetie and having to like switch from like the child mannerisms to being an adult doing them that's what the michael c Hall thing reminded me of for some reason. Which Tyler, I don't know if he no-butted, but he side-railed me from kid to mom. You know that graph that's like the 1% people that are dumb. It's like the IQ graph, right?
Starting point is 00:39:58 But on the opposite ends of the graph, both the dumbest and the smartest people have the same opinions. Because that's hilarious but it's like i don't think that tyler was doing it over in the masterful highest iq version of it i think he wandered in and made a mistake but still really hilarious to put you in that situation so i i find that i was carrying like i was trying to portray like carrying my blankie thumb in hand he called me mom and i was like thank god i led this scene off with my idea i'll just switch it real quick mid scene that kind of shit happens you have to roll with i mean mistakes happen in improv all the time but that was one for some reason i remember sticking out with me because i remember being like a deer in headlights where it was like how does baby become mom what does scene become now at least michael c hall i guess
Starting point is 00:40:42 had a script and got the practice being a teenager version of himself didn't help yeah air horns will air horns you can't practice looking younger yeah that's exactly right yeah why don't you think next time wade zero points for you oh yeah points and stuff yeah bob you get zero points speaking of dumping bodies in the ocean i guess i got news articles if that's if that's more up your guys's speed if you don't want to hear that's way more interesting yeah oh yeah please but i didn't even come up with them it's better probably why it's better points no points zero points actually mark i love your news articles already i love them so much all All right, zero points.
Starting point is 00:41:26 Okay. I would lick your elbow. Zero what? I love your boar spear. I love that. Zero points. Zero points. Your big girthy spear in the background.
Starting point is 00:41:34 Zero points! It's kind of blurry. Zero. What about Apple versus a Mac? Wait, Apple versus... No. Purse found with 675 kilograms of chemicals used to make methamphetamines. There you go, Bob.
Starting point is 00:41:49 You can start your career. Hearse or purse? A hearse. Like a funeral hearse for a coffin. But I know there are different kinds, but the kind of hearse I always imagine is like a big, like a station wagon kind of vehicle, except it's got glass all in the back so you can see the coffin inside, right? It's like a, it's like a big like a station wagon kind of vehicle except it's got glass all in the back so you can see the coffin inside right it's like a it's like a thing it's ceremonial i just imagine a big a big like van station wagon but it's got all glass windows in the back piled high with
Starting point is 00:42:17 chemicals for meth cooking and walter white standing there naked in the back of the hearse cooking while they drive the guy gets pulled over and he's like, what seems to be the problem, officer? He's like, oh, no, I'm just moving a body for the mortuary. It's fine. And the cop is like, their final wish was to be made into meth. What can I say? Listen, it's just a really cool avant-garde casket that looks like a pile of chemicals. It's so funny because like this, this, this news article is just a very general news article, but I started reading it and I thought I was having a stroke midway through. Let me just
Starting point is 00:42:48 read you the first few sentences. A hearse loaded with 675 kilograms of drug raw materials for drug manufacturing was intercepted in May on the A77 highway near Bugen, Nord Brabant. According to the Brabant's Dagblad on Tuesday, the two occupants of the car from Rotterdam. The court in Den Bosch decided the 38-year-old driver would remain in pretrial detention while the 50-year-old passenger was allowed to remain free for the time being. So I don't know who's in this car, but they found it, according to the Umbro-up Brabant. The Umbro-up reported on Tuesday they were suspicious on the A15 highway between Rotterdam and Nijmegen because of its unusually low position.
Starting point is 00:43:30 So that was two different highways I've never heard of and like two different newspapers that are different that reported this. I know a lot about Kentucky, but I've never heard of those two parts of it. The A77 near Bugen-Nord-Brebunt and the Brebribbent's Dagblad and Omrop-Bribbent. You okay? That's what it says. The funeral home in Hoogvliet. Where is this? It's like, it's in like Denmark or something.
Starting point is 00:43:56 Where's Rotterdam? Is it Rotterdam? This is like three different cities with different names. Rotterdam is in the Netherlands, right? Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Otherdam damn it is a city in the netherlands there's a gas station in bugen and they found it's weird that the chemical names are the most comprehensible thing so bmk is known as benzyl methyl ketone or phenyl acetone phenyl acetone they used that on breaking bad ah there you go these guys had the same idea i did so we could either have that kind of discussion with that article,
Starting point is 00:44:27 which was written by the Netherlands Times. Okay, well, that would be so. The thing that's going on there, Mark, if you recall, when we spent some time in the Berg, is they speak another language there, possibly French, maybe Dutch, unclear. This is written in English, so i don't think so but all the names are clearly dutch things mugen and all that other stuff you said i i'm sure that they make a lot more sense in dutch okay all right then but we could either talk about that or we could talk about more technological things
Starting point is 00:45:06 that are occurring in the world around us which one would give me points to agree with you on none of them how do we get points you don't why would I stay you can leave really don't please
Starting point is 00:45:20 I can't believe I'm stuck here with just fucking Shakira listening to this oh I keep taking off my headphones I'm here for you buddy can I have points alright fine wait I'll read you a story unless you want a handshake deal okay I did I fell for that one
Starting point is 00:45:41 and it did not get me anything so no read away buddy alright fine then I'll just I fell for that one. It did not get me anything. So, no. Read away, buddy. All right. Fine, then. I'll just get another frickin' story here. Oh, Bob. Good.
Starting point is 00:45:54 You're back. Oh, just in time for the next story. Oh, okay. Anyway. South Florida search for cold case cars lead divers to dozens of submerged vehicles quote it just so happened to have 32 cars in it bishop said clarifying his team recovered no human remains from the lake and was not able to connect any of the vehicles to cases that the united united search corps were even looking for bishop is a a city in California, so this must be in California.
Starting point is 00:46:25 South Florida. South Florida. I don't know if that's in California. That's a lot of cars in a lake. So yeah, they were looking for cars because there were cold cases that needed cars, and they happened to find a lake with 32 cars in it. Not one of them were the cars they were looking for. A lot.
Starting point is 00:46:42 32 people. I'd be really happy their car got found i guess i struggle to imagine a reason or a way that a car ends up in a lake that's not somehow like the thing the police are looking for i i it seems like those are probably still pretty valuable that they just looked and they went down there and they like checked the vin number and the license plate and they're like no nothing's tied to this one you know how goats eat like metal and stuff do goats eat metal i think they can i think they can i don't know if they choose to a lot but sure there was a uh a house like a cabin where my grandparents had a summer house like a few streets away and there was a guy that had a whole bunch of old broken down like rust cars and all he had in the yard other than the broken down cars were goats and
Starting point is 00:47:26 i'm pretty sure he was trying to get them to break down the cars but like he would accumulate more and more of these broken down cars and his i mean he had like 20 broken down cars what makes you think he was trying to get the goats to eat them because we always wondered why this man would accumulate more he had uh like a little uh mobile home it was pretty small with a couch outside and then just stacks of broken down cars everywhere and then one day it was all just gone and you think the goats ate them no i think he wanted the goats to break down the cars they didn't and eventually the police swooped in and took cleared out the place why why did the police swoop in did the goats call the police did you see cop cars no this is my brain
Starting point is 00:48:11 doing obvious making obvious connections mark can't you see it here let me show you don't do that to will don't do that to will you know will could always just leave it green and make me look like an asshole that's always an option i think he does probably he probably does but you know this is revenge for putting me in a fucking public restroom so little house car car car car car car car car car go go go go go go and then one day all green it's gone can you point can you point at your green screen go like oh my god i can't believe that no what you should definitely put out there in the world is a video of you pointing at a green screen going, this. I love this.
Starting point is 00:48:52 This is awesome. I don't want ads to be made for me again. Don't buy this product. This thing right here, fuck this thing. Yeah, yeah, do that, do that. This right here, fuck this thing. yeah do that do that this right here fuck this thing that's good that's good we'll take a picture of wade and then put him on the green screen this right here fuck this thing got him got him got him anyway they might have been putting him in the water because they didn't
Starting point is 00:49:24 have goats. All right. Well, that's a terrible theory. I don't think the goats break down the cars. I got to be honest. I don't think that's the relationship there. Clearly not because they got busted for all of the probably murder. I'm extrapolating a lot here.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Yeah, no, that's a lot of leaps. Speaking of a lot of leaps, flying aliens harassing village in Peru are actually illegal miners with jetpacks, cops say. Where is Peru? Peru, a city in Indiana. Probably. That's probably it. I think this article is glossing over how easy it thinks it is to get jetpacks even
Starting point is 00:49:58 now in today's world. I know that they exist. There's totally a thing you can get that isn't basically a personal jetpack where you fly around, but they're not just like on the shelf at Target, except in Peru, whatever the equivalent I know that they exist. There's totally a thing you can get that isn't basically a personal jetpack where you can fly around. But they're not just like on the shelf at Target, except in Peru, whatever the equivalent store might be. Well, I've been there, so I don't know for sure. Nah, nah, it's real. You're extrapolating a lot, Bob.
Starting point is 00:50:17 This is a Vice article. Vice is reporting. They got a photo of aliens from Getty Images with aliens in them. Oh, okay. Well, Getty Images are all real. That's for sure. Yeah, exactly. They say, um, these gentlemen are aliens. They seem armored like the Green Goblin from Spider-Man.
Starting point is 00:50:32 Willem Dafoe's invading Peru? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha shit just a whole bunch of willem defoe's like swooping down green goblin willem defoe swoops in he hops off and he turns into uh one of those the the the saints the buddhax guy and he just hops around and he goes there was a firefight it starts having a whole thing yeah no that would be awful i don't want that happening in my house well apparently there was a firefight because he said i have shot one twice and it didn't fall instead it elevated and disappeared we're frightened by what's happening in the community is this article implying that like the the people who live in this village were like oh my god it's aliens what the shit oh and some some person came in and was like guys
Starting point is 00:51:20 it's not aliens don't it's it's it's it's it's people. They just have this this technology. They're just flying. And the people in the village are like, so it's aliens. I don't even know if any of this legit. It is strange that the more credible answer that they want people to leave is that there's miners like Tink Tink miners, illegal miners with jetpacks that that's more logical. Is it miners Tink tink or miners like this tink tink i mean i guess they could be minor miners i don't know if they if they were miners
Starting point is 00:51:53 age-wise they'd be lighter weight and thus easier to lift into the air with jet propulsion in the form of a backpack but they don't need to go mining those floating gold outcrops. So clearly it has to be the miners. Tink, tink. I think you're onto something though, Mark. Why exactly would miners have jetpacks? Why is that? Why is that the thing?
Starting point is 00:52:13 And I don't think that Peru is the jetpack capital of the world. And I don't think anyone's illegally entering Peru to test out their jetpack technology and also mining. It's just, it don't add up. Maybe, you know what it is? It's aliens. That that's it this is just a poorly constructed cover-up some some guy at the alien cover-up bureau was like god another one
Starting point is 00:52:33 oh just get chat gpt to write this one for us okay just put just get some ai stuff and just put that and the ai was like oh it's miners with jetpacks just flying around with their pickaxes and their hats with little candles on them and the guy's like yeah yeah whatever no one fucking cares i hate this job there are multiple outlets that are really committed to them being just like part of a mining cartel with jetpack mining cartel is this is this gang activity because a gang having jetpacks i believe a little bit more in per, these jetpack flying gold cartels hope to inspire fear with their bizarre campaign of alien terror. This is from Vanguard.
Starting point is 00:53:12 I don't know if that's a trustworthy news site, but the one I've got. Interesting. I'm here urinating. And the jetpacks are used to prospect for gold deep in the unforgiving jungles of Peru. This sounds so much like the burls in the Redwood Forest. Like the cartel that are looking for just these burls of Redwood. But there's like, they have this technology. Like remember that badass article was like the cop burst down the door.
Starting point is 00:53:36 The guy's like, you're too late. You'll never take me alive. I'll die for these burls. But the gold makes more sense. Like that actually does make sense. Maybe they're literally this, this gang saw the old animated movie El Dorado and, or heard any of the very real legends of El,
Starting point is 00:53:55 the city of El Dorado, the city of gold. And they were like, all right, boys, you know what we need? We're going to find El Dorado. You know how we do it.
Starting point is 00:54:02 We make it so much easier on ourselves. Jetpacks. A city of gold will be so shiny and obviously visible from above. It basically finds itself. That must be it. Are there really just like functional, easy to access jetpacks right now? Is that a thing that people can get? I was unaware that they were easy to get, and I don't believe that that's the case.
Starting point is 00:54:24 But there are absolutely functional jetpacks where you literally strap it on and there's like thrusters you put on your arms and there's and you can you could just fly yeah but it's not at all like iron man it's way more like uh iron man when he's escaping from the cave at the beginning of the first movie yeah yeah it's it's just as easy to do his crash landing in the desert, except not in the desert, into like a tree or like a mountain. Or if you're doing that in a mine, like if you're a miner and you're jetpacking in the mine, I feel like that's... Oh, you're the guy with the jetpack. All the guys around you are just like pickaxing away like... Do you have to leave that on?
Starting point is 00:55:01 You're not even flying. The canary's dead. All right. Well, we've really chewed up the time and I feel like we didn't get to nearly enough of the topics of concern that I had. I got to three questions in my episode. So like. How many points do I get, Mark?
Starting point is 00:55:18 None. Because it was my story. But I added a lot to it. Yeah. Well, it doesn't matter because this isn't a... I never said anything about there being points at all. You don't have to say that. That's part of the basic premise that's always presumed going into this.
Starting point is 00:55:32 You don't have to say anything. Oh, no, no, no. Remember, Markiplier and points? No, Markiplier and friends. You guys have been awarded exposure. You guys get exposure for being a part of this wonderful podcast that i've established you didn't even say our names i don't know what kind of exposure we got well if you didn't say your own names and how good are you at exposing yourself i'm i don't i would never expose myself
Starting point is 00:55:56 anyway i'm gonna wrap up this uh wonderful inaugural episode of uh markiplier and friends it's been a one yeah who wins mark one of us two must win, right? That's how this works. No. Yeah, it is. No. I'm pretty sure. No. You gave yourself the win last time. You can't... We've been doing this for two and a half years. I'm pretty sure I remember how it works. Oh, no. Well,
Starting point is 00:56:18 you know, let's see. Let's see where it goes. Maybe... Yeah, let's see where it goes. Let's see where it goes. Anyway... Maybe you got some kind of surprise twist ending, huh? Yep. Surprise. Big surprise. Congratulations to me for doing a wonderful job hosting. If you have to call it a winner, I guess I am.
Starting point is 00:56:37 I remember in the last episode declaring, thus begins the era of Mark. And the era of Mark does not stop for anyone, and this train doesn't stop for anything. Mark is pretty short, so I assumed it would be a short era. Well, that's really hilarious. Will, please strike him with a lightning bolt. Ah! There, hit him again. Oh no! My eye! Can you go like this? Can you go like, uh... Ah!
Starting point is 00:56:56 There we go, yeah. Hit him again, hit him again. Oh no! At least I gave you a green screen, Will. You're welcome. I don't... I got a pile of trash behind me. What do you want, man? There's a green box right here. Chroma that, Will. You're welcome. I got a pile of trash behind me. What do you want, man? There's a green box right here. Chroma that, Will. Chroma that! You know, you can chroma any color.
Starting point is 00:57:12 You can chroma the... I know, but I'm as pale as my white walls, so there's not a lot to work with here. Chroma the white! I have nipples, Greg. Can you chroma me? Anyway, thank you so much for listening. Look forward to another great episode of Markiplier and Friends coming at you hot and fast. I can't wait to read all the wonderful glowing things on the subreddit.
Starting point is 00:57:31 Anyone that says anything otherwise will be banned forever. And I can't wait to talk more about why the new and upcoming M3 chip from Apple might be the greatest thing to ever grace this beautiful planet of ours. Are you really doing this? Why wouldn't I? It's only fair. I am the host, and the host gets to do whatever they want. I think if you think it's so fair, you should use the Triangle of Fairness. And I think before you do anything rash, you should remember that using the Triangle of Fairness in vain is quite the dangerous activity.
Starting point is 00:58:03 anything rash, you should remember that using the Triangle of Fairness in vain is quite the dangerous activity. I thank my friends for joining me and allowing me this wonderful victory, and I can't wait to bring more interesting and fascinating topics for us to consume in the very next episode. It'll be featured around so many amazing things that everyone loves to hear about because I'm saying them, and therefore it is something that's loved. All is fair that is fair and it shall remain fair for all time. Thank you. Okay, we'll see. We'll see about your uppance, I guess, sir. We'll see about them. Perhaps they'll come. Podcast out.

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