Distractible - Mark's Big Dangerous Word Game

Episode Date: February 9, 2026

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Wiggly Wade admits, then displays amnesia, mentions Mark, ministering. school main and struggles with syntax from podcast longevity to Martha Wash. It's time for Mark's big dangerous word game. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to Distractable, the podcast that is definitely not going to end anytime soon. So don't you worry about that. We're going to be here for a while. Don't listen to the rumors.

We are here for you. For as long as we need to. And you know what else is probably going to be here? Or at least one of them. Bob and Wade. I'm one of them. There was a lot of things said there that were slightly concerning. Well, it was concerning.

He said, don't listen to the rumors. Yeah, don't listen to the rumors. If it makes you feel any better, I'll give you both some concerned points. Not that that makes them valid or anything. Just because of my signing a point to it. it doesn't mean that your concerns are validated. I'm just doing this because. That's a good reason to do stuff.

Anyway, this is the game show. And yes, it's a game show because points and rewards are offered during every single one of these episodes, or at least we'll say that to get our ratings up. And I'm your host, Markiplier, multi-hyphenated, talented weekend losing director, along with an Emmy losing director. Whatever I do, I'll always get second. place. There's no question about that. Oh, he's coming up right behind the first place finisher. That's a really good place. The best pace, even, depending on how you think about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. First is the worst. Second is the best I've heard. These are all good sayings. And Wade, you just earned yourself a point. Thank you. But I heard it too. I'll tell you why later. But anyway, what we do here first, as we've done every episode since the dawn of time is talk about our lives because we're very conceited like that and we think that our lives are interesting enough to share with you and you want to listen to it. So that's exactly what we're going to do.

Who wants to go first? Me. I actually heard that at the same time. Who said that first? Me. That time Bob was slightly ahead. I'll give you one more chance. One more chance.

Me. So slow. Bob got there. I was trying to stick it up. You get the first point there. All right. Okay. I wanted to time it up to be tied with Bob.

You could never tie with me. Bob, what's your life? My life is pretty good. The walk-in 365 miles is going well, still on pace through today, and I think I'm ahead a couple miles. It's good. It's not getting as easier as I would have hoped, but also I'm going to start turning up the speed a little bit. So it's going to get harder, but then it's going to get way easier, really fast, because that's how exercising works. I try hard like twice, and then it's all easy.

So I'm looking forward to it. I think that is actually how it works. Yes. Okay, soundboard, Wade. Yes. I thought I had another thing. And we passed it to Wade. Ah, dang it.

Almost out of there. Almost at it. Welcome, welcome, welcome back, everyone. Not going to lie, after one of the recent episodes we did, Bob was talking about some good old sausage gravy. I have convinced my family that we are getting together. And they are making me some gravy. and I can't wait.

That's great, man. Great. This, I remember you talking about some sausage gravy. Yeah, Bob talked about it. And I was like, you guys won't believe what Bob brought up on the podcast. Some good old fashioned sausage gravy. You guys should totally make some and invite me over. You're not interested in making it, in learning about that or participating in that?

Oh, no, no, no. Nothing's quite like having some good old mom-made food. It's fun to learn new skills. It's pretty fun. It's pretty fulfilling, you know? Oh, you're right. No interest whatsoever. Okay, man.

Now, we should. We could, but no. It was actually a coincidence. I'm totally lying. Damn it, does it make it a lie point? Wait, what? My family was just out of the blue was like, hey, we're going to make this, and they invited us over.

Oh, okay, so there is gravy. There is gravy. Just I didn't initiate it. I was just trying to, you know, make it look like I did it. The pretext is a lie, but the story is true. Story's true. Just like all stories. There's a little bit of fluff, a little bit of filler, and a lot of gravy.

Like all stories. My stories are all 100% true. to don't manifest that for me? I've never exaggerated anything ever in a story I've told on this podcast. Listen, Bob. What? Is that a lie? It's clearly not a lie, because I said it was true.

Is that a lie? No. Ask me again. Is that a lie? Is that a lie? Yes. Lie point. I continue to worry about my memory.

That's the other thing. My memory is so bad. Apparently, I was talking to Pat Intuin and JP recently or record videos with on the YouTube channel. They were like, oh, man, this thing, remember this big story we talked about like two weeks ago? Well, there's an update. I was like, what big story? Was I there? And like, they kept dropping hints as to what it was about.

And I was like, zero recollection. None. Are you guys sure I was there? And then they sent like a long paragraph of retelling the whole story. Like, oh, yeah, that. It took retelling the entire story for me to remember them telling me the story. I don't know if that's remembering. I think that's just learning.

But after I learned it, I remembered learning it before. It was like deja vu. Wait, so it was a story that you've heard before, but they didn't know that you heard it before? No, they knew I had. I had forgotten that I heard. It wasn't even a story. It was like a real life event that was like a big deal. Like, yeah, remember this thing?

And I was like, nope. He doesn't remember. I actually don't fully remember. No, you can't. That's the bid. You can't, the big can't be real. No, it kind of, that's the thing, though. It kind of is.

Like, it was one of those stories about like, not picking up the hints that someone was into you. Is that a thing you deal with on a regular basis? I guess you wouldn't know, would you? I hope my wife's into me. With to record some of our interactions and see if someone, some expert got me figure it out. You should covertly record some of your interactions

and then post them anonymously online. Then you can see what she really thinks. And nothing else bad will come from that. Wait, I'm going to tell you this right now because this is part of it. I've written a conditional thing down. At the end of this episode, going to ask you if you remember even the thing that this point is related to.

You don't have to remember the story. He's not going to. But if you remember, I'll give you this point. Okay. I got this in the bag. It's weird that like I can recollect an epic rap battle of history, full lyrics. I can picture the whole thing that I've not heard in like five years. And then something important from like a week ago gets brought up and I'm like, I have no

idea who that is. It's like that's your relative. Oh, have I ever met them? only your whole life. I'm exaggerating slightly, but there have been moments where like, I don't know if I'm just that spacey

or if my hard drives are so full of crap that like important stuff's getting deleted, but... I think that's how it works. The memory issues have been a little scary. Not gonna lie, they've been a little scary. Simulation's breaking down. We're gonna be careful, boys.

All right, I won't, but, you know, what can you do? Unplug me so I could be the bald guy that wants the steak. Wait, no, you're already in. Can we talk about that last time? I remember something. That's a callback, so I'm going to remember that you have one callback.

But you're already in the simulation, and you are the bald guy. And you do love steak. Can I have a steak? Yeah, actually, you could order a steak right now. You could go to the grocery tour and get a steak. Oh, nothing sounds good. But it's tender, juicy. I know it's not the Lord of the Rings scene with the tomatoes, but I imagine,

I'm reimagining that scene where he's like, I know the steak is tender, juicy. That scene weasles its way into so many things in my life. There's anything even remotely similar to that guy eating. My brain is like, you remember that scene? Tomatose. Yeah, yeah. Tomatoes, yep. Tomo-maiddle them,

sticking in a pussgetty. Anything else? I didn't mean to like, I was trying to think of a way like, all right, I get what you go for. And it was so funny, we're just going to skip right past it. I knew that they were going to add post laughter, like crowd laughter. So I was just waiting for that to die down. That's what that was.

Do we do that? Do we have laugh tracks? Oh, yeah. The editors prop us up a lot. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Distractable was filmed in front of a live studio audience. Well, that's a lie.

I can tell lies. No, I'm not going to do that. If I said, if I said lot all, because that's just a joke, and jokes are mostly untrue. If it has to be an actual lie. A lie with intention. maybe. Well, I mean, I'm just going to say that right now, but we can codify it in the Constitution later. So if you misremember something, are you lying? Even if it's unintentional? Or are you joking?

I don't think that misremembering can count as lying. A lie has to have intent, right? Yeah, you have a lie means that you know it's not true. Yeah. You're acknowledging truth. You're just choosing to say the opposite. So if you're delusional, your delusions aren't lies. You're bullshitting. Even if they're untrue. Yeah. That makes me want to read some philosophy. Bob, you didn't get much time for small duck. Do you have anything else before we move on? I really actually don't have a whole lot new. Did I have, I told you guys, James is wearing a big boy underpants these days. Oh, that's cool. That's huge.

He's like, he did it. He's potty trained. He's like a whole person now. Not that he wasn't a whole person before, but him, him standing up and just be like, I got a pee is hilarious because it's just his, I don't know. Is his grip strength growing exponentially with his size? Kind of. He's terrifyingly strong. He could probably beat me up if he caught me off guard. If he got the first shot in and he caught me at the right moment, he could probably take me already.

Just a little shore you can write to your nuts. Just how tall is he now? Somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 inches. How many feats is that? Three, three and a half? Three and a half feet. Something like that. Careful, Mark.

He's catching up. Come on, man. God damn. Come on, man. Can I get a point for that? I'm going to put on the wheel up preemptively mentioned Mark's height the most. I'm winning.

Wait, is that good, or do you lose a point for that one? We don't have many minus points, so let's make that a minus. That'll be a minus. Kind of like when our heights are compared. Huh? I don't know. Just laugh.

No one's laughing. Editors, no, please. Take the studio out of here. Put him in Guam! This episode is brought to you by T-Mobile 5G home internet. You already know that T-Mobile 5G home internet is ridiculously easy to set up with a price that doesn't feel like you're getting scammed every month, but here's something new worth noting.

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Who's ready for? I don't know what to name this Just call it the perfectest crime no matter what it actually is No, no, it's not that it's not that wait you got a segue point to go into this because you said something that was kind of like what the game is gonna be Oh hell yeah, what was that you took a phrase and you changed the ending of it right? That's kind of what this is We're playing a mixture of hoppy potato with a grenade and sentence get longer and it's funny with a grenade with a grenade okay I have to explain this fully so that we all are on the same page I have my random timer it's set from 30 seconds to 90 seconds so it'll average out to be about a minute but it could be anywhere in there when the timer

goes off you guys are taking turns doing the game when the timer goes off whoever's holding the grenade. Boom, dead, gone, obliterated, destroyed. The other person gets point. Easy, simple. I feel like we did the opposite and it worked out great for Bob and I have a bad feeling. Somehow this is also going to work out great for Bob and I'm already mad about it. No, if we did the opposite and I did well, we're doing the opposite of that. Now you'll do well because that's the opposite. You'd think that logically, but somehow. I've got some extra structure here for this, right? So it's not going to be completely open-ended, or it is going to be open-ended, but it starts with a base, right? So, for example, my favorite color is blank.

That'll be whoever's going first, they're prompt, and they have one word for the first sentence. Now, where it gets complicated is the other person then has to make that two words, and you could just string it together like blue, baby blue. But when you get to three, you have to keep going, and the sentence still has to be a complete sentence with non-jibberish words and no repeating words. You can't do very, very blue. You can't do baby, baby blue. Do we have to keep what we're given and add to it?

No, no, no. You can do whatever you want. You just need to keep adding another total word. Yes, yes. So you get the same beginning of it. This way you don't have to continue because it wouldn't make any sense if they said blue. So we only add to the end. Yeah, yeah.

You have to add to the end where the blank is. You both are adding at the same spot and you're both starting over. When I get to, let's say Bob's going first, I would say, my favorite color is, and then you would say the rest, and then I would go to Wade, and I would say my favorite color is, or it could do it differently, and you start the sentence. You guys say it, and otherwise not, whatever feels out. I'll do it first, just for the first round. We'll feel how that feels. And if you guys are comfortable, you can just, like, take out, take the rest of it away and say the sentence back and forth. And that way, it's just you guys, and I'll just play judge making sure no one's cheating, no one's doing illogical sentences.

And no one's repeating what the other person said too specifically. I'm going to be loosey-goosey about that one. You can definitely build off of each other. But if you say baby blue and then like kind of baby blue, I'm going to be like, you're first warning. And then, you know, so the variety stays there. But I'll play it loose. Yeah, fuck the word kinda.

Kind is for idiots. Okay. Does this all make sense? I think it does. Yeah, I'm going to break all the rules, but I'm excited for it. I didn't mean to sound so shocked, but I think it does. Yeah, no. It's a little complicated.

because there's a few more rules, but I think that it should work. All right. Head for Wade. Tales for Bob. That's bald. Yeah, and he goes first. All right. Bald, bald, bald, bald.

When I give you the prompt, as soon as I say what the sentence is, I'll probably say it again just so you really get it. Well, actually, no, I won't say it again because I'm going to say it again when I give it to Bob. And then I'll say it first to be each of you this time. One word, then two more words after my prompt. Then three then four then five then six whoever is stuck on their turn by the time the timer goes off and the grenade explodes Loses so I'm saying I'm already thinking of my victory speech so I'm pretty excited about this one I'm already worried whenever he said favorite color my first thought was fish so I'm excited Okay good. Okay good I would count that for the first but then you get a warning I would be like okay but get it's just a color Tiber wasn't on that was that was outside the bounds. Yeah, yeah this is we're not doing favorite color that was throw away

example. Oh good, I was prepared for it. Let's do something else then. Were you thinking nothing but colors? I was trying. Ah, my favorite improv game. Think about this sentence for five minutes and then let's make it, let's do what of those things you planned. We can start with that if you want to. No, no, no, no. I'm having a slow brain day. It'll be much funny if I don't know the prompt. So, wait, your prompt. Give me liberty or give me. All right. Give me liberty or give me. Do I not start now? No, I just like you're just going to say. You said all right, like that was the answer.

Oh, no, no. All right. So give me liberty, give me all right. All right, Bob. I thought we had to say the whole thing. Give me liberty or give me all right, wait. Oh, wait, we're not supposed to do that. No, I remember. Right, right. I messed up. This will be a warm up round. Yeah. Wade. Give me liberty or give me the death penalty.

Bob. Give me liberty. Or give me me three golden cat babies. I think you got it. Oh yeah, Victor's Beach. Coming in hot. All right, okay. I knew we needed a test around.

We're going to wash our hands of that one. What I'm going to do to help you out instead of just going, Bob, I'm going to say the sentence. And then all you need to worry about is saying the last words. So I'll be your Madlib book. You are the just the blank. And we'll try that and feel that out, okay? Yeah, we don't get to set the pace. Mark sets the pace.

We just have to keep going. All right. Very explicitly not supposed to build off of each other. I'll learn. Your instincts are so strong. Hey, I'm not going to stop you if you do. If it makes sense, go for it, man. But at the end of the day, so long as the sentence makes sense, that's all we're going for.

I think we're just used to that style where we build off of each other. Nah, this is new. This is fresh. We just have to adapt. Wait, I'm going to let you go first again. There were no points awarded in that last one. All right. Dear Penthouse Forum.

I. Bob, dear penthouse forum. I fucked. Wait, dear penthouse forum. What up, dog? Bob, dear penthouse forum. She finally said yes. That's great.

Wait, dear penthouse forum. I really thought I could. Dear Pethouse Forum, Bob. Sometimes I wonder, why she left. I wonder why she left. Yes. Wade,

Dear Penthouse Forum. I couldn't get it in there right. That was good. Dear Penthouse Forum. I had sex with a really hot lady. Dear Penthouse Forum. I don't even know why I'm writing. Oh, that's only eight.

That was only eight. I don't even know why I'm writing. Yeah, you need nine. I do not even know why I am writing. You know what's just it? Bob! I don't think you... Wait, let's do a check. I do not even know why I am writing!

You did it! You chucked the grenade at Bob at the last second. All right, Wade, congratulations. You got Deer Penhouse Forum Point. Man, I'm better with words than am at counting I've learned. I'm cool with reading the prompts to you. I like you guys just focusing on just the sentences because it makes it easier to count.

Yeah, I think it's fine like that. Yeah, okay, so I'll just keep doing that. Bob. Are you ready? Mm-hmm. Oh, Canada, our... Country. Oh, Canada, our...

Hot Mama. Oh, Canada, our... And native land. Oh, yeah. Oh, Canada, our... Big spoon, little spoon. What? Hey, look, if you...

I'm gonna take our and native land, I'm gonna take a big spoon a little bit. All right, all right, all right. Oh, Canada, our place with lots of bears. Oh, Canada, our place that's way too big, I. Tragon. Say that again, just turn it into an A and you've got it. Instead of I.

Yeah, A-Y-E, I. Hurry, say it. I, A, A, D. Say that's the whole thing. Wait! Oh. No, don't. Take your time.

The place that's too big for a. What the fuck? That's... He doesn't remember what he said. Blumby-Glum! You don't remember what you just said. No, that's the problem. I don't remember.

We've been over this. I think I was at a distinct advantage when Wade had to remember words previously. I was right. Moving on to eight. Yeah, you were very close. If you had said A instead of I, I would have, I would have given that to you. Oh, damn the vowels. That was very good.

Wait, your sentence is, everybody loves when I. Dance. Bob, everyone loves when I. Get down. Wade, everyone loves when I. Have bald head. Everyone loves when I. Pull up my pants.

Everyone loves when I. Smooch. twice, then run away. Everyone loves when I. Bring ice cream to the party. Yes, that's good. Wait, everyone loves when I... Break it down philosophically at the house.

Wait, break it down philosophically at the house. Yes. Bob, everyone loves when I... Get lost, but then remember where I'm going. Good. Wade, everyone loves when I... Totally don't know where I am or what? doing.

I'll let that slide, but you're on thin ice. Bob, everyone loves one I. Go to Africa, then play that song by Toto. To, go to Africa, then play that song by Toto. Oh, Toto's one word. Toto Banned. I gave Wade one. I'll give you one.

Wade, everyone loves one I. Don't know what to say anymore because I thought Bob lost. I think you got it. Don't know what to say anymore because I thought Bob lost. 11. He was doing 11? Oh no. You got it. Wait, did I do 9 though? You did 10. You started with 9 and you needed one more for 10.

That was clutch, Wade. That point goes to you. I didn't even count the words. That just came out of my mouth and happened to work. All right, Lux's on your side. You get the, uh, everyone loves me point. You guys are doing amazingly. 30 minutes of heart racing. It's been like five minutes, buddy. It's not 30 minutes at all. It's fit.

I know that this is probably stressful for you guys. It's very fun. As soon as it gets higher than five, panic starts to set in. It's funny. I'm struggling to count these at the same time. You guys are so fast. If that comes again where it's like, I think we need to stop and make sure.

I might just stop the timer so we can confirm if I do that. I don't know if I have that control. It's tough when it's getting to be like the, like I said, seven or plus. It's hard to count them while we're doing it live. I have a pause resume button. So I will pause it for things that I'm like, hold on, pause.

I need to count that that way. It's more fair to the other person so that they can have time to actually get that underway for the next one. So, Bob, are you ready? Yes. Eini, me, miney. Wait. Eity, me, miney. Oh, no.

Iny, meeny, miney. Mo, you lose. Eerie, mey, miney. Hey. Wade was here. Yes. Einy, meeny, miney. Mo money, mo problems, right?

Yep. Eny, meeny, mine. I really don't know what next. Oh, you're on thin ice, man. Your own thin ice. Einy, meeny, miny, mimey, bo. Oh, yeah, that's not it. How many was I supposed to do?

You needed seven. I would have taken it. I would have taken it if you had just finished with one more word, you got up to six, I think. And then it was like, die, surrender. That was just nonsense words. That didn't. That's fair. That's fair.

I thought Wade was about to lose. I did too. I got to stop giving up early. I also have no idea how to spell ene, me, me, me, me, me, miney. E-E-N-I-E, M-E-I-E-N-I-E, M-E-I-N-E. Why did you sound like speaking spell? M-E-N-I-E. I was just enunciating so you could get all.

those cool letters I was given you. Wait, are you ready? Oh me, yes. Take me out to the... Oh? Take me out to the... Ball game. Yeah!

Take me out to the... Small circus tent. Take me out to the... Good side of town. Take me out to the... Ohio, no wait, maybe California. Take me out to the... me out to the movies to go see Hitch.

No. Oh, a six. Oh, man. If only I could count. Now. Movies to go see Hitch now. Those like iron lungs right there, man. All right.

Go ahead. Go ahead. It's fine. Oh, sorry. Take me. I'm still singing this song, I guess. Take me out to the showing of iron lung that's happening right now. That's what I thought.

Oh shit. Oh. Am I dead? No, sorry. I meant to hit pause. I hit stop. I'm going to put 30 seconds on the clock. That sounds fair? Yes. I'm going to be honest. I was going to do iron lung on my first one. And then I bailed because I thought I had to do five.

And I was like, I didn't face it out correctly. Fuck. No, it would have been perfect. All right. Whose turn is it? I think me and I have to do nine? You went first? You would have to, yeah, you have odd.

So, yes. All right. Are you ready? Sure. Take me out. What? Invalid. What the fuck? Invalid time selection. I don't remember that as part of the song. All right, here we go.

Take me out to the... Wait, no, invalid time selection, but I thought I did... Right? Fuck, that's 11. That's too many. Take me out to the... Blow me up. No, no, Bobby, you're good. Wait, go. Blow me up, and I will tell you more secrets.

I think that was ten. Fuck! Wait, pausing, pausing. Blow me up, and I will tell you. you more secrets. Damn it, Stan. All right. You're still on. Why did I conjugate? Uh, uh, uh, uh, fucking take me out to the, who? Wade, you, you need nine. Ooh, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, I'm an owl.

Fucking kill me. Wait, ooh, who, who, who, who. I'm an owl. Fuck it. Kill me. Almost if you just said who, who, if you just said who, who, I'm an owl. There's no recovering once I fuck up. My brain just like. No, you failure, you're dead. Bob, you're up first. Are you ready? Yep.

Your sentence in full is, Stick your hands up now. Dance. Good. Stick your hands up. Now, lick me. Stick your hands up now. Don't lick me.

Take your hands up. Now. Smell my big foot. What are you is evil? One of you is for good. Stick your hands up now. I smell his feed, not me. Stick your hands up.

Now, prepare me a delicious meal. Uh-oh. You need six. Quickly. All right, I'll take it. Bob, take your hands up now. Put the money in the bag fast. Thick your hands up now.

Toss me a coin for I am Witcher. All right, sure. Stick your hands up. Now. Put your hands up. down. Now stick your left foot out. Yes, that's good. Stick your hands up now.

Tell me a tale about your ancestors, my lovely friend. Oh, I want too many. Oh, one too many. I do ten. You did 11. Fuck! That's one more than ten. Less lovely friend. No, just friend. Boom. Oh, too bad.

Oh my God. Okay. I forgot. Bob, you won take me out, right? Uh, yes. Wade sort of forfeit that one. Which one? The ball game one. Was that the hoo-hoo, I'm an owl? Yes.

Oh, no, guys, that's my best effort. Hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo, who-who. I'm an owl. Fucking kill me. All right, my brain might have panicked a little bit, okay? If you didn't swear so much, that would have been a great answer. I thought I would be given points for like bonus funny moments in there, but I have no time to even remember them. So it's just purely by rounds.

This is a good game. I just need a name for it. I find that our limit is somewhere between 8 and 12 syllables. It really breaks down there. It really breaks down. Eight to 12 words really falls apart. Okay, wait. You're back up.

Okay. Your sentence is, frankly, my dear, I quit. Good. Frankly, my dear, I hate you. Frankly, my dear, I think you're great. Frankly, my dear, I... Just want some I hop. Just want some...

Yeah, frankly, my dear, I want to make some babies. Damn, frankly, my dear, I... Can't find my wallet, you seen? Say nice. Frankly, my dear, I invested all of our money very poorly. E, that's six. Invested all of our money very poorly. All of our moines?

Okay, you're good. All of our money very poorly. You're good. Okay, got, you're good. I didn't hear the of. Good. Okay. Frankly, my dear, I...

Don't think the Yankees can do it again. This year. Ooh, is that one too many? That was one too many. I don't think the Yankees can do it again. Fuck, that's one too few. Frankly, my dear, I hate this game because counting is so hard. What the fuck, man?

That's too many. No, that was eight. I hate this game because counting is too hard. No! Oh. Okay. Resuming, Kahnemer. Uh, I can't count to the number seven or eight.

God, shit, damn it. Come on, you have time, you have time. Stink at games where you have to count. I don't even know what number you need anymore. He needs eight, he needs eight. You have time. I can't count to eight. Please help me.

Yes. Frankly, my dear, I don't need help counting two nine after Bob's turn. It's exploded. Fuck. Either that was the most. genius play by Bob to drain the time perfectly. Nailed it. I was looking at Mark's eyes, reading the numbers and the reflection, just gauging it out so I knew Wade would lose as soon as I... Man, that ice had to have been paper thin by the end of that. Hey, you didn't say you didn't get

to try again. He just said it had to make sense. Yeah, yeah. You just keep trying until, and usually that would mean that the timer would have more chance to blow up right then and there. Yeah, it's such a short timer, relatively speaking. I can't believe I survived that long on it. That was the long. Actually, that one started perfectly at one minute 30. So that was the longest round we've had so far. Use it perfectly.

Wait, if you think it's cheating, I will not say you still have time. Oh, no, I don't care. That's fine. Okay, cool. All right, cool. Oh, man, all this counting is really great for this headache. Like, man, why's my head hurts so bad? Oh, yeah, it hasn't stopped.

Takes a Madville or something? I don't know. What are you doing? I took Accentering. I took the big. Big boy pills. You ready? Yes.

Here we go. Don't move. It's... There! Don't move. It's my ass. Don't move. It's gonna see us.

Don't move. It's too small to notice. Don't move. It's... Vision is based on movement. Yes. Don't move. It's a delicious tray of dark chocolates.

Oh, don't move. It's... Time for our hourly standstill. standstill. Is standstill two words? Is standstill two words? Hold on. Let's confer. I was treating it as two words.

I don't know if that's accurate. I also thought two words. In that context, one word. I paused it. I'm resuming it right now. Time for our hourly standstill moment. Oh, did you get that in? It was pretty close.

I couldn't tell you if I beat it or not. I feel like he held the letter T. So he like got the words out, but like, wait, I'll leave it up to you. I know how to figure this out. I'll flip a coin. All right, sure. Bob, you want heads or tails?

I'll let you call it. Heads. I faked out the universe. Oh! That's good for you, right? I win? You did win that one, yeah, by the skin of your hand. Yeah, because that was so close.

It's hard for me to even know, so. Yeah, because I don't know what was video lag. I don't know what was just there. It was really down of the wire. I don't know if I just didn't process. the alarm till after the sentence or like because it was it was right there at the end of the word moment i actually want to do one more but i'll give you a choice from what i have you said there was a song is it the song no the other song was take me out to the ball game i can get another song if you

guys have another one that you want well if you had one you wanted that's fine i just i like the song ones too those are funny because i have two's a company but three's blank i'd buy that for a blank officer you have no evidence that i some of these are longer i was going for short ones and i got like Cut, cut, I need more. Blank. Babe, you forgot your... Those are the options of what we can go with if you want. Those are I can come up with another song.

You can do a song? I think song sounds fun. All right, let me get it. What's a little like... What's a lullabot? What's a song? Let me look up. How about rocker by Bobby? No, no. Just a small town girl.

Can't do that voice. I just love... Like, we made it to nine. Everybody dance. soon but not right now because it's not time for dancing on the floor right now all right we can do that one if you want no fuck no that's

that's my only one are you boys ready who's going first? You do I get to sing this every time it's up to you man you're the host God fuck all right everybody oh fuck man all right hold on a second

everybody does I'm not going to do that no I can't do that every time Alright. Everybody dance now. No, fuck. Oh, God, not now. Fuck, God. Where's the blank?

Hold on. Bump, bum. Everybody. It's so bad when I just don't go into it. Everybody does. Everybody dance. Everybody dance. This is the best...

Right now. Oh, God, hang on. It's hard when you don't sing the first part to continue the song in that pitch. This is the best trap we've ever laid for the host. He heard that. It was like, oh, that would be funny. Okay, I'm going to resume, Bob. You got that one.

So it's going to be you, Wade. You need three. Yeah. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Everybody. Hands.

How are you want? Everybody. Everybody dance. What to, I guess? Yes. Okay. Everybody dance. Did you say?

What? Right now or... I don't fucking remember. It's me! I paused it. Right now or else I'll cry lots? That would be seven. I think...

Yeah, I got seven. And now or else I'll cry lots. Bob. Aaron. Oh, fuck me, man. Everybody dance to the song we're playing right now for you Oh that we're playing right now For the song we're playing that we're playing or that we're playing right now

We're playing right now yes okay everybody dance not sorry hold on everybody dance What fuck quickly and quietly or else I'll miss your dance yes Appropriately bad What it was at one second Hold on. Appropriately but cool, but not too cool, or I'll feel bad. Oh, wait, is that 11? Oh, no.

You have a second to do it. Okay, I can do this. I can do this. Okay, I'll cue you in. It's like, just like, they do end the show business. All right. Everybody dance. Appropriately, but cool, but not too cool, or I'll feel bad.

Fuck, sorry. It's just a repeated explosion. I cut out one word. I cut out else. Then if you did that, then that did get in there. I didn't even listen to the words. I just was like, unless there was the alarm and then you got it out. That one wasn't even close.

You just did it. I was ready. I paused and unpauseed a lot, but I think it was fair between the both of you who I paused and unpause four. That was clutch. Again, I did say what the last second was, but so whether or not that. No, that's fine. I told you that was fine.

Wait, was that still 11, though? I don't know, because I don't know exactly what you said. appropriately but cool, but not too cool, or I'll feel bad. So it was 12 before. Shit. Oh. That was an impressive failure. We'll confirm, we'll confirm, the editors will confirm, we'll make that a conditional,

but if that's what you said, and I do remember you saying appropriately at the beginning again, then that would go to Wade by the skin of everyone's teeth. and I will never sing again. That was impressive, done the less, that you got, you got even more words in one second. It was, it was very, very good. You know, if it comes down to a timer at the end of the fourth quarter, I'm giving Bob the ball.

As long as the ball is talking, and I know what I'm supposed to say, it's guaranteed. All right, Wade, do you remember? No. Are you sure? Are you sure? Because what you need to remember seems,

Yeah, but I, I remembered, I needed to tell you that I remembered that I forgot. Can you give me any detail about the thing? Was it story related or podcast related? Could I phone a friend? No. All right, I think that's, I'll give you 10 seconds. War me when I get to one. Five, four, three, two.

The friends, friends, I forgot friends story. technically. Is that specific enough for you, Mark? I was hoping you would say something along the lines of that you, it was like the, this girl didn't know that you had a crush on her. That was the only nugget that came out of that thing. But you did remember that you were told a story that were friends. Bob, do you think that's fair?

I mean, I, I remembered what you were saying as if he remembered that he needed to remember something, then that would be adequate. That's what I thought. If I'm being completely honest and above board, he did remember something. All right. Then we're confirming that conditional point. Wade, good job. Your memory's improving.

I got a tear in my eye, man. I was trying so hard to think. I think I burst a tear duct. Can you do that? I don't think so, but that's pretty cool. All right. The point stand is follows. Bob, you have the concerned point, the first small talk point, easy workouts.

You have a lie point, so that is conditional. You got Big Boy Undies, and I also tied that in because, I mean, it might be a spoiler, but in Dungeon Crawler Carl in the first book, there's a thing about Big Boy Andes. That's pretty early on, yeah. Yeah, it made me laugh. Okay, you won the O Canada round. You got take me out to the stick your hands up. Don't move. So you are going in with eight points.

Wade, you got the concern point. You got the Segway point. Gravy Part 2. You did remember do your penthouse forum round. everyone loves when I, e-nie-mini-mini, and then everybody dance. You have eight to Bob's eight. It is tied, but Bob does have a lie point. So there is a conditional there.

And I already know what my contribution to the wheel was going to be, which is whoever mentions my height, the most loses a point. Who did that this episode? Who would have did that? That's okay. We know our additions never show up in the same episode that they're headed. I know, right. Okay, for lie points doubled.

Does that mean they still have to become absolutely? Or does that mean they become absolute and are just doubled? There can be a negative lie point. That was another thing. It's like a lie point can be negative. Times 2 is unaffiliated with the absolute. Those are different. But I think if it lands on any lie point spot,

lie points become valid. Yeah, they come into play, right? Yes. Yeah. I feel like that makes sense. I think there's a basic lie points are valid. Then there's a lie points are absolute to obfuscate the negative lie points. And then there's that one, which is another one.

But any lie points where I think activates the lie points. All right. Let's do it. Even, even, even, yay. Two. All right. Oh, yeah. Well, good thing it's low, right?

Good thing. It's probably fine. It's been number one. Loudest. Loudest. Interesting. You both had times where you were shouting. I will say, though, when Wade was shouting, he might have been slightly louder.

Especially that... Oh, woo, woo, A bit Owl fucking kill me! Yeah, that might have been kind of loud. Was that louder than the... Everybody died now. I don't think that I did that loud. Those were both you.

I thought we both did that. No, no, no, I think... Did Mark have me crying, dude? Oh, look, it wasn't that bad. No, is that funny. No, okay. All right. It was bad. It was funny.

Okay, alright, just spin the wheel again. I liked your singing, Mark. I thought I brought a sense of levity and fun to the episode. episode. Oh no. The host wins. Holy shit. I forgot that was even a thing.

I forgot that was on there. When is the last time I won, man? The one-man show, I guess. But holy fuck. I was like, I got this in the bag. It's been like five episodes since you won. Fuck. Well, fuck.

All right. I'll take it. You both get to say a loser's meat. That's unprecedented, isn't it? I don't think we've landed on that before, yeah. Yeah, that's never happened. No. I don't know when that was added to the wheel, but man. I don't remember when that was added. That's the old old one. Holy shit, wow. That's crazy. You don't think it was one of the OGs, like the original.

It's possible because that's definitely the kind of thing where it was like, oh, how do we populate this? Okay, like point for win, host wins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna go lose a speech in order of who had the most points at the end, Anyway, so Wade, you go first with nine, whatever honor that means to you. That's what you get. You know, I feel like the biggest loser, because after getting the previous loud point and being up by a point, I was like, feeling pretty good about my chances and been on a bit of a losing streak and I really thought I'd turned it around. And yet, where did that lead me?

Back to the bottom. Okay. Well, very well spoken. Bob being in second place, maybe you are the biggest loser. I don't know. Depends on your perspective. As the loserist loser of the group, I can say, that while it stings to be down here and to technically be behind Wade,

it feels good knowing at least Wade didn't win. In that, we can all find some solace. I definitely find it because I have not had many wins. I was had a huge win streak at the beginning of the season, and then, you know, it kind of fell away. I guess this is my winner's speech. But, you know, hey, I'm climbing back because the season is coming to a close, and I really would like to win a season.

So, hey, it's another one for me. didn't do much of anything in this episode. And we can all forget that that singing in no way contributed to me winning or losing this episode, but hey, I win. So you get to see this guy host another episode. Will it be the perfectest crime?

No. Oh. Okay. Almost certainly not, but you never know. You never know. So thank you. Everybody so much for this. This is amazing. I will host next episode, but you can know

that I will host the next episode by following the podcast. You can also go to distractible. Shop for all of our beautiful merch that you can find on that website. You can find Bob at Myskins. That's your last name. Myskir. Close enough.

Find me at Barnes. Or, yeah, Barnes. Or Minion 777. I'm Markiplar. And thank you for listening and or watching to this podcast. Unprecedented events happen every week here unless they are completely precedented

because we forgot we did that episode already. Thank you. That's so true. It is. It's true. Podcast out. Watch new episodes on Spotify.