Distractible - Merry Christmas, Bob!

Episode Date: December 23, 2024

Oh, by gosh, by golly! It's time for buying gifts for Bobby. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get groceries delivered across the GTA from real Canadian Superstore with PC Express. Shop online for super prices and super savings. Try it today and get up to $75 in PC Optimum Points. Visit superstore.ca to get started. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable, this bumper episode. Boyant Bob blasts Hollywood, claims his godhead, then demands donatives from the dudes. Weak-willed Wade gets reflux from a bad reflex,

enacts poo poo, offers pumping Bob, bread houses and bad clowns. Mercenary Mark wants a wick stick, bags an eagle and gifts eternal earnings, farmyard flyers and everything. From trigger discipline to Zoltar. Yes! It's time for Merry Christmas, Bob. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to another episode of your favorite show in the entire universe, including all television movies and other forms of media.

It's even your favorite video game. Think about it like an interactive point and click adventure that you don't interact with ever. This is Distractable. I am your host for today, Bob, joined as usual by my competitors for today, Wade and Mark. My plan to sabotage Wade has started early. Wait just starts keeling over. Hey, how are you? Is that that's sincere?

You just actually. Oh, yeah, man. I don't know. I just like went to talk and like an air bubble or a water bubble or a bubble of some kind was just like Mark. It's a voice point. Thank you. Thank you very much! Starting off strong like I usually do

This is a show where I'm the host and I give out points and then someone wins and then they're the host on the next one and uh nobody cares I haven't hosted in a minute you guys are sort of passing it back and forth there it feels good to be back on the reins you know it's good to be in the sleigh of power driving you my faithful reindeer

to the holiday of my delight Uh-huh go on. I love where this is going. Yeah, a real chimney thing going on right now. Sorry guys Anyway, what small talk we usually start with small talk. How's everybody doing? GUNS! Oh, sorry You alright? You good? Yeah, have been flashbacks or something? Sorry, I just thought it would burst out.

I couldn't stop myself. Guns? Is that it? You got anything else to? Yeah, Wade's got guns, small talk. Go for it. Oh man. Well, I've been shotgunning some Christmas treats because boy, oh boy, we've had so many

different kinds and we found, I forget if Lindor, whatever the brand is, they've got like the little ball chocolate, but they've got like the little ball chocolate but they've got like the lint truffles well they've got like a bark like the peppermint bark style of like little Lindor ball I think it's a Lindor ball but it's like a cookie almost dude it's so good tell me that you just for the first time in life discovered the Lindor peppermint truffles probably yes cuz usually just like we either I'm gonna give you a sad point for breaking sad i remember that reference i'm gonna take away that point immediately for

breaking sad man i'm off to a great start anyway this time of year is very dangerous a lot of sugary treats and i am devouring all of them i've had some rough nights not gonna lie for the amount of sugar i've been pounding i can't handle like I used to. I'm getting older. What do you get like acid from that? I've never, I'm diabetic so sugar like actively kills me. I've got bad acid reflux and sugar and like acidy foods are really bad for me. Like pretty much anything's bad for me to eat late at night but like sugar and things like pizza. Pizza for example, the absolute worst thing I can eat. If I eat pizza after like 8 p.m. even if I don't go to bed till 4 a.m. I'm laying down with acid reflux and that's a genetic inheritance. I got acid reflux from my dad. He had it really bad too, so. That's crazy. I feel like I always saw commercials about acid reflux

medicines and stuff where they're like, oh don't eat pizza, oh don't eat spaghetti and meatballs. I'm like, what kind of pizza are you guys eating? I'm just lucky, I guess. I got my own special kind of health problems. I lay down and it's just like, immediately I feel my entire esophagus just burning, like the burps start coming and it's just pain. You know, they make medicines for that. You take anything? Take a little pepsi or something?

I should. I need to talk to my doctor about my acid reflux. Wait, you literally, do you take tums or something? Or you literally don't do a thing about, you just get acid and you're like, oh oh man I wish you could do something about this. No a couple things you can do tums are supposed to be really bad for you so I try to take them very sparingly but if I prop myself up where I'm kind of laying with my head at least and body at like a bit of an angle it doesn't come up as bad it's like the flatter I lay the more the acid just comes pouring

out of my stomach and out of my ears. Hate it Astro reflux sucks. Candy and sugary treats love but they don't they don't play nice together This is like a we're getting older kind of issue. I am Oh, we all are don't worry about it. I'm not I'm actually starting to Benjamin Button backwards It's a very concerning affliction. It's a little early for that turnaround. I want to push it a little later Yeah, I thought well push it a little later. Yeah, I thought, well, it wasn't a choice. It just kind of happened. So I thought that I would have a few more years

before I would start Benjamin Buttoning, but it's starting early. And so that means I will be reverting back. Did you have a kid we don't know about and you're like having blood transfusions every day with? I wish. God, if only, if only. In other news, I'll say it, I'll say it.

I'm gonna be taking a course, a handgun safety course. I wanna work up to that exact same course that you see Keanu Reeves going for when he's training for the John Wick movies. I wanna get skilled enough to be able to do that thing where he's got a pistol and a shotgun around his back and he's bam, bam, bam, bam. I wanna, if I go up to them and I say like I want the John Wick

course do you think that they would look at me and take me seriously no I think they'll say well do you want the first one do you want the one with Halle Berry and the two puppies or do you want the stairs we have three courses the stair fight in John Wick 4 I like John Wick 4 but I did feel like some of those that's the fourth one yeah it wasn't oh. Oh yeah, he fell down the stairs for a very long time. I know that I just didn't know there were, I thought that was the third one, I didn't know there were four. There are four. Anyway, yeah, the stairs is nuts. The stair scene is nuts. The stair sequence went on just as long as it

needed to, just for that joke of him just falling all the way down. God, it's so funny. But it was like an hour three of that movie. Or if it wasn't three hours long, he was really laid into it. It was like a real time scene, right? Like there's like a timer or something and like you could see the real time timer going down as this whole guns, if I remember right. It's really cool. It was, it was very cool.

I can't believe it's a starter course. Good luck. It's a starter course? In order to get onto the next one, you have to fall down the stairs, like the entirety of the way. If you don't make it all the way down, you gotta do it again.

What are you a slinky? I'm about to be. So one of the top pushes you you only make it half way and they're like baaah. Dude I was so upset there's a weird side tangent. What was it Ace Ventura whenever like they go to find him and he's like he does the slinky on like the temple steps and it goes down like 5,000 steps, but it stops on the very last one before hitting the bottom. That like something in me needed it to complete its course. That's bothered me since that movie came out in 1995 or whatever. I'm from Ohio.

My dad, he actually built muzzle loaders. So I, unlike these assholes who aren't from Ohio, who are immigrants to Ohio.. I'll eat only the Immigrants to damn it never mind. I wouldn't eat pets. I'm Ohioan. I will forever associate that with Ohio I think you're right. I think that's where they said they were for better or for worse. So I had some familiarity I think you're right. I think that's where they said they were for better or for worse. So I had some familiarity. I think my dad let me shoot a desert eagle when I was like 11 or something like that. Way too early. It flew out of my hands. Did you like fly around the whole place? Jesus Christ.

It was gone. I don't know why he let me do that, but I want to take a course again because it's been a very long time since I have been around any kind of gun. And if I ever do any kind of action movie in the future, even with prop guns, I wanna know like, proper safety protocol, stuff like that, and it's just good familiarity. If you're in America, you probably should know, even if you don't wanna own one,

you should probably know how they work, how to be safe around them, and how to operate them and disarm them, put them on safety on, empty it, make sure it's empty, you know, so that there's, you know, if you just pull the magazine out, it doesn't mean that's understand how chambering rounds works and doesn't work. Yeah. They are more common than jobs that have benefits.

Sad ba-doom-chiss. Man, Wade with the zingers today, I'm, I'm, I thought I'd be killing it with the points, but I'm hearing that. I've been losing more than I'm making, man. Anyway, so I want to, I want to take the courses and there's like a... It's a fun thing to do also. I think, I don't think that, you know, many people would disagree that going around to a shooting range and just like back target price, that's not bad.

Even if it's like an airsoft one, if you wanted to do that or an air gun or something like that. No, it is definitely a fun activity. I've done a little bit of indoor range and I've done trap shooting once. Trap shooting was my favorite. Just go walk around, it's like golfing. You walk around and you go take the thing and throw the disc in the air.

I thought it would be insanely hard shooting a disc out of the air like that. It's actually more intuitive than you might guess. I got better really quickly and I missed a lot of shots still but you can have a really satisfying time and hit some really fun shots even if you've never done it before. It's just like, point and shoot kind of thing.

You can learn, it's very fun. Maybe you're just really good at it. Maybe you're just really good and handsome at it. Whew. Oh, I know what you're doing and I like it. Anyway, so that's what I'm gonna be doing soon and there's someone else that's gonna be joining me But I won't tell them in case they don't want anyone know for some reason or another

Thanks, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. This is it's like a tattoo. This is where it all begins I become a gun nut real soon after this so everyone get ready for that transition. That's actually your next hyper fixation Mark is on the podcast like okay. There's this really rare wait you can't do that. No you guys can't do that Don't mail me guns. Wait a minute Wait hang on. Yeah, is there anyone in this obscure country that can run guns for me? I'm looking for the 2024 Highlander Python 2024 Highlander Python, I don't know gun names. Highlander Python. I don't know man.

I'm really more of a Highlander Cobra ultimate kind of guy, but you know, Python's for some people. It's Nerf or nothing. God, if Nerf actually comes out and makes a real gun, but it still looks like one of their Nerf guns. Oh man, there's that. Or it just shoots the foam dart so fast it's actually lethal. What I want to do actually, and not to continue this small talk, but what I want to do someday

is I want, I know some people are probably trying to do this, but I want to find out how to make a better prop gun. Not a blank firing gun, but one that looks realistic, but it's slightly more than like an airsoft pistol, which is effective, like you'll get the blowback, but I want to see if there's a way to have it do the blowback, but also like emit light. Like the light is key in terms of like visual effects, because you almost always have to add that in. But if the gun had like a very powerful light in the front that actually flashed really bright that would be super cool I bet I could figure out how to make that but then the FBI would come knocking on my door because I'd be making my backyard things that look very convincingly like a weapon

Mark in his garage filled with servers and Glauber salts hunched over a 3d printer just like this is the one the FBI walks in and mark turns around with this weird prototype like what no, it's not real Look how real it is though Look how real it looks They would think that was really funny I bet I bet I bet anyway, I think I can figure something out there I would love to try just because it does seem like a very, very useful thing because you we've heard about like cases on movies. That's where people get hurt and killed by using the kind of weapons that use blanks,

which are just real guns. They just happen to have a different bullet in them. It's just like, there's a, I think that's wild. I know nothing about the industry, but I've always thought, I mean, it's tragic when that has happened. I thought it was completely insane that if you're making a movie or a TV show, a fake thing that no one is like, oh, that movie didn't have real guns in it. Unwatchable. Like, why would you have fucking real guns around for any reason? Whoever's in charge of safety and whatever things can go wrong aside, that just doesn't seem worth it. Like I get that it's you have to be authentic and whatever, there's just no way that it's worth the risk of having an actual gun for if someone happened to bring in their own

bullet for whatever their reasons might be or like all kinds of crazy shit can and has happened. It's just so dangerous. Even firing blanks is incredibly dangerous because they're not, it's not like a puff of air. It's like a thing that can still hurt and kill and do all kinds of damage to people and things. It's crazy. I'm all for authenticity and movie and acting and stuff, but that one is like the risk to reward on that is too steep. It seems like it shouldn't even be close, but people still do it. Clearly like I have some ideas. I have some ideas.'t wait for this this can only end well I think I can make a better gun

you know it'll be a lot harder to make a in the hospital video from prison you can't really do like guys I'm in prison anyway that's my update I'll be taking it I don't know when but soonish because California rules are very strict Let me know what's Keanu course you get. It's a roll the dice. I really don't know. God the stairs again Ah, go back next week. Please please ah stairs you roll a d20 to see what course you get That's a weird weirdly luck based Educational system they have over there in California. It's crazy Do you get like is it like a permit like if if you are able to like, like what do you

get from a training course that would help in like a movie scene? It's just, yeah, it's just skill building. You go there to practice and they have like a what's called like a tactical course where it's, they have, it's not just you stand and you shoot at a target. It's you are moving through a space to like, it's, it's kind of like not quite, but SWAT tactics where you know how to cover properly. And so this brings realism into projects where you, if you're, if you're fumbling around and you are just playing action,

actual people that know how to do that stuff and military guys would know that it's completely fake and it would probably not come across realistically. So, well, that's fair. I just, you would think like there would be some kind of certification or something. That's like when you're like, let's say you're trying to hire someone who can really make the like sell this as like an extra or something like having like, Oh, they've been through 10 of these courses versus two.

Well, you'd think there'd be something for tracking that. They could probably put it on their resume. I'm sure. Yeah. I think probably they would just write down on their resume has been through 10 courses, but they got stairs every time. Put that part. You leave out that you kept drawing stairs. Is this scene involved in any stairs falling or no, no, this is sort of taking over this complex here, but you're entering a warehouse. Are you familiar?

Like, ah, are you sure there can't be stairs or maybe the warehouse is downstairs from outside. I got one hand on the wheel car drive permit do you need a permit for I do that all the time is that a little nose like the other hand shooting with one hand on the wheel oh I thought it was just you know you're just really really cool like way back no I was still it was still like poop poop poop you know the gun guns make poop poop poop I love that scene John would poop poop poop poo poo poo, poo poo, you spin around Berlin,

poo poo poo. I love Terminator 2 when he went, Hasta la vista baby, poo. I can't even, pew properly. Anyway, that's all I got. I think I did small talk, I don't remember. I gave you a point for being sad and something about acid reflux.

Oh, cookies, I thought about the cookies man, this time of year. He was shotgunning Christmas treats, that's what it was. Yeah, my new movie, Breaking Shad Gun. Well I'm sorry, wait, what was that? Breaking Shad Gun? No, I want to make sure I spell it right. What was that word? Breaking? You know shotgun, S-H-A-D. I swear mom, it's not a breaking fat. I'm gonna let that one slide because I'd like this to stay competitive. I'm gonna try and slide some extra points your way Wade. You're gonna have to really cool it down with those with those word jokes though. I'm breaking glass.

Sorry I didn't hear that and I'm not gonna listen to you for a minute. I have a game. I like making games and I have games when I host episodes and today's game spawned from one idea and I think everyone can agree with this. I am awesome. As an awesome person, I deserve presents. It's the time of year when people might give presents to other people, perhaps for Christmas or Hanukkah or other whatever holidays, it's that time of year.

Maybe James' birthday was this past week and you know, Mandy's birthday is on Christmas Eve. That's never caused any problems before. You know, it's just a good present time. Since everyone agrees that that's just true, I made up a game where you guys are going to be competing to get me the best presents. But there's some rules and some structure because you know how I always have to make it overly complicated so that it's less fun.

There are rounds, each round has a theme and a budget. The themes I think are interesting, see if that holds true. The budget increases quite dramatically. The final budget is a million dollars. Anything. I mean, not anything. There are certainly things that cost more than a million dollars, but basically anything goes. But that isn't until the last round. We're starting with literally anything. You could Google, you can imagine things as long as you can argue to me that the price is accurate, I will allow whatever you want. Things that don't exist, whatever.

But your budget for this first round is $10. So we're getting you a present? Yeah, well, don't I deserve it? Yes, you do. You do. Absolutely. Of course you do. But I'm just trying to confirm. We're not giving it to anyone else. Yeah, this is for me. So you can pander. You can play to the things that you know about me. You can use any piece

of information, it can even cheat, who knows? You guys know I like to make up rules and then ignore them completely. But just given how awesome of a friend I am and how well you, my two best friends in the world, know me, I want you to pick me any present in the world as long as it costs $10 or less. I've got you. Well, what Mark thinks. No, I already got it. I already got it.

All right. I'll let you sort out who's about to start talking. I have to fill out a security questionnaire. Hold on. All right, Wade wins. Wade wins. I'm gonna give you a $10 investment into a pump and dump crypto scheme

that's going to be worth so much more money in like two days. Is this $10 of gifted tokens that I got from the person who's doing the scheme or Yeah, this is like early buyers. You're like on the end. OK, so I'm in I'm in the rug pool. I'm pre-pull. I'm going to be in the rug pool. Pool. Pool of pull. Pool. I like that. That's good. That's thoughtful about me.

It's not thoughtful about anyone else. This isn't about them. It's about you. I appreciate that. How big is this pool? Is this like a hock to a pool, like you. I appreciate that. How big is this pool? Is this like a hock to a pool? Like a meme coin sort of pool? Or is this bigger than that, smaller than that? How many?

Oh, this is like theme park pool. This is big pool. Pool? All right. Big pool, big pool. Big pool of money, big pool of rug. All right, Mark, what do you have? The gift that just doesn't stop giving.

I'm gonna give you something that not only is incredibly reviewed, 4.8 stars with 3,295 people reviewing it, but also it's gonna be so useful to your everyday life. I'm gonna get you a 10,000 milliamp hour Tmoo battery bank. It is so good that it sold 20,000 of them it's the number four bestseller and let me tell you it's $7.47 so you know its quality it'll keep you guessing every day of the week when it's gonna blow you know how much lithium cost this thing definitely definitely is worth every penny that it is and probably more it probably should

be a lot more but guaranteed to not not go through TSA pre-check. T-MU stands for quality, and this is going to be the most quality power you've ever had in your life. I like that. I appreciate that. That's that's a gift that's useful and exciting because it's dangerous. And if you think that you've worn out your luck, you can re-gift it to give someone else the bed. Who doesn't love hot potato?

Ha ha ha! Ah! Ha ha ha! Ah! It's a family game. Every night, one person in the house is not allowed to plug their phone into the wall. They get to use old T-MU battery pack.

And if they survive the night, maybe next day they'll have better luck with the wall plug who knows i like that both of your suggestions could hurt people marx is a little bit more mortal danger wades is a little bit more well just financial i guess really maybe emotional damage it's just money pick yourself up by the bootstraps and rebuild if i take all of your cash and run i have to say i didn't think i'd be able to get such an adrenaline rush at such a low budget. I'm going to have to go with Wade's. Marks could kill one person.

Wade's is going to make thousands of idiots sad and poor. Sit on this rug, Bob. I'll take you on a magic carpet ride. Would never have thought of crypto rug pull. What a creative idea. Hey, $10 gets you five early tokens or whatever. If you want a creative gift for your loved ones, think about a crypto rug pull. Well, the sex one might be tough.

Honestly, I think this might be the toughest category. The budget is $50 and I would like you to get me a gift in the category of books. Does not strictly have to be a book necessarily. There are like book accessories or book themed things But books is your category in general 50 smackers 50 50 10 crypto rug No, that's how math work five crypto rug polls if you will books or book related book adjacent Yeah, I'll accept book adjacent. there are things that would fall into that category all right i got i got something i'm still looking i don't want to give any hints either but i do

just want to throw it out there that if you don't know i'm not a big book reader not a not a huge book fan so this one might be tough but wait do you have something what do you have? i found on amazon the sunmarie six tier tree book shelf It's kind of like it's a square base cabinet with like one shelf and then there's the top, like some flat space on the edge but then there's like crisscrosses going up. It looks like there's like one, two, three, four-ish crisscross type things that you can store books and stuff on. And it's only 39 bucks.

So there's $10 to spare to either get you one book to put on your tree or Decorations to put on there because the nice thing is even if you're not a book reader Sometimes bookshelves just make you look elegant and like smarter than you actually are you can have this in there people like oh This guy's got some taste. Look at this bookshelf It's got some books on there and you don't have to fucking open them cuz like who gives a shit Yeah, it's like a decoration if you have the right books it sends the right message to the to the people in your house. Yeah, it's wood It looks nice. There's a four different color options. You get the four tier or the six tier What is it is the four tier $39 or is the six tier $39?

So right now it's on sale and the six tier was on sale for $39.99. It's normally $49.99 The four tier is actually $29.99. I think the different colors come on with the different prices as well, but no, actually those aren't changing it either. Interesting. Oh, white is more expensive right now. The brown, which is the nice wood brown color, $39.99. I like that.

It allows me to give off the appearance of a much more learned person without having to actually worry about doing any of the learning myself. Yeah, the image they've got a couple of little baskets, some like coffee cups, a clock, a little plant. There's a shelf on the bottom. I think that those are really funny because it's essentially a shelf where for the top

two thirds of it, there's no flat surface, right? Everything is like angled. So, it's a shelf that's only a shelf if you have shit that can be piled on itself. If you need like a regular, like if you have a plant that you want to put on a shelf, this is not the shelf for you. Unless you're really bold with how you plant. I mean, I do think it would be cool if a company made like triangular plant vessels so you could put like a plant in the bottom of one of the V. That'd be that's unrelated. Just just thinking.

I'm sure you could like pottery up or get like a custom like clay thing made that would fit there. Yeah, you know how I love to make pottery. I mean, I made an ashtray in like first grade for my mom, which I don't think you could get away with in school nowadays, but it was out of like a leaf imprint. It was actually an ashtray on purpose. Yeah. Well, I was a kid and I was like, what would my mom like? An ashtray. And my teacher was like, that's fine. Different times probably than now. Yeah, kind of different times.

Mark. I've got the gift that once again keeps on giving as I want to do it. I want gifts that take you to the next level, to take you above and beyond what you could even possibly dream this gift would get you to. Everyone knows that the world of self-published books

filled with AI slop, just cranked out, churned out AI nonsense. Which means the people, quote unquote, that are writing these books are going to sell the options to make them into movies for pennies on the dollar. I'm going to go out there and I'm going to find you as many books as I can that you will own the rights to perpetuate into any form of medium that you want at $50 of value. I don't know how many books that is, but I will get you the best deal so that one of those slop-filled books is yours forever in perpetuity throughout the entirety of the universe to make into whatever you want. Bam.

I like that. I assume within our lifetime, before I die, we'll invent a way to preserve human consciousness basically into infinity. So the concept of getting a gift that I would own forever and since I'll live forever that really that's something that's interesting. Perpetuity. Perpetuity is a hell of a thing. Throughout the universe. You know what they say about perpetuity? You want to make sure you're in that. Yep.

That's a little lawyer joke right there. The lawyers in the audience will get that. I got it. I've just been breaking glad better. Say that again. Am I going to have to? No, no, no, no, no. Go on.

Which one did you like better? Which gifts? Look, the bookshelf is way more tangible, but own a thing forever? I just can't let that go. That's just such an opportunity. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm gonna have to go with movie rights in perpetuity. Yeah, exactly. I don't know how to spell perpetuity. That's tricky.

Mark, you give me such a hard word to spell. I'll tell you what to law school. Minus 10 points. I went to law school, but I usually type things, you know? Lawyers use spell check on computers. I never had to school, but I usually type things, you know, lawyers use spell check on computers. I never had to learn how to get one of those spell check and pens. Dude, if that existed, that that will never exist. Actually, sorry, that I lost me at the first sentence there that that won't exist. Imagine though, if you invented that, the me hell of a thing. It learns your writing process. And then you're like, write this. It's just like,

like a little unicycle pen. It's like a two-dimensional printing device I don't know that's the thing that anyone invited that invented that before all right round three the category is clothing the budget is a thousand dollars continue we're scaling up here we're gonna climb up all the way I I mean, you know, socks is fine, and I'm not gonna say that that couldn't win, but there are a lot of clothing options in the world that you could get for $1,000. Maybe not like Supreme Drop stuff, but that's, yeah.

I've got it, done. All right, done, tell me. I went a little over budget, but you're worth it, okay? Because what I got you was the most expensive pair of underwear in the world. That's what I was looking at you, $1400 pair of underwear from pure cashmere embroidered with gold thread. And again, if $1400 is a little over budget,

but I think it's within the thousand dollar category. If you're gonna tell me I'm worth it, then I definitely think that you're worth it. You're worth it. And my Google fingers are that fast. Ooh, found them. I've never owned a pair of underwear that was expensive. It's an interesting concept.

Is the thread like gold metal that's been just pulled into a thread or is it like thread that's gold? Yes, it's 24 karat gold coated. Because you're in Cincinnati, you know what the emblem is? Uh. Flying pig. Oh, well, I don't know if I want a flying pig on my butt.

Is it on the front or the back? It's a cow, a flying cow. Looks like a cow too. Is it on the inside of the band, or is it on like the? It's on the leg. Oh, OK. It wasn't there. Well, I was just joking.

No, I'm not. I'm not dinging you. I'm not saying that I'm dinging you. I just I am sensitive about you. Remember how I was a pig in that game that we played? And I felt like the game was judging me because I didn't realize that I picked which character I was. Oh, Liar's Bar. That's the one. I wasn't going to name drop.

They got a lot more characters now. I heard that I heard one of them's real hot and still an animal, so everyone's confused. There's a pair of them. I think Wade's just stalling because he's never gonna compete with the world's most expensive pair of underwear. I've got something here.

Okay. May I introduce you to the Balenciaga sock sneaker? I don't know. May you, wait, you did the right one. Thank you. How, what's the percentages on that? 50% sock, 50% sneaker I don't know may you wait that you did the right one thank you how what's the percentages on that 50% sock 50% sneaker looking at it looks more like 90% sock 10% sneaker you've had your turn high five Mark, what would you like to say? I just want to say I know what shoe he's talking about.

I had a similar shoe to this. It is the shoe that I broke my foot in. Just gonna throw that out there because it doesn't have any ankle support. It is just a sock rolled real easy likes to slip and slide around inside there snapped my fifth metatarsal like a chicken bone i you know how foot injuries make me clench my whole body is is fully cringing right now i don't like that couple things about this one this is a guy whose ankle can do a full 360, so it's already a little unstable. I'd say that speaks to the strength, not the instability.

Two, you can always re-gift someone you don't like if you think it's dangerous. Wait, I have a gift for you. Yeah, what's up, man? What you got? It's a candle. Oh, thanks. I like candle. They smell good. Yeah, this one doesn't. That's the joke. Oh. I will say, Baleenciaga is one of those brands

that I now know is a real thing, but for a long time I thought it was fake because it's such a goofy sounding brand name and all the stuff that I ever heard about Balenciaga making, I was always like, that sounds kind of like a meme. I can't tell if this is like from a TV show I'm just unaware of, but that's a snazzy brand. And may I add it's within budget.

Oh, yeah. What's the actual price on those? 975. Wow. Right in there. Mark's is pretty substantially over budget, almost 50% over budget. Well, not quite. 40 is way different than 50%. Given that that's how highly he thinks of me, that I'm worth that much. I'd like to pick that, but I'm going to have to go with Wade's. Mark, your gift was very flattering and I would honestly rather have it, but Wade did stick to the budget. Hey man, I appreciate it. Enjoy your new sock shoes. Break a leg. Don't put that on me.

Round four. Your theme is home decor, which can be interpreted very broadly. And your budget is $20,000. There's a lot of home decor you can get for $20,000. I know exactly what you need without even looking anything up because I've looked this up before and I've debated it heavily for my own purposes. Oh, I like this. I like that. I like this is going. They make a 105 inch OLED TV that is at the ludicrous price of $19,000 the last time that I saw it, but it is it is right there and when it comes to home decor

OLED is the top display technology the the deepest blacks, the best color accuracy. It is so huge, it's gonna make your eyes go in different directions. 105 inches? 105 inches. It is gigantic, it is beautiful, it comes with a five year warranty. You're gonna need to get a custom wall mount for this,

but with the thousand dollars that it's under budget I think you can get it plus installation. That's an interesting choice. That's very compelling. I like that now I'm gonna look up soon. Make sure I'm right. I'm sure you're right. I would in fact check you me on this It's a hundred and ten inches. It's even bigger Look, I gotta say when we moved into this house, the people we bought it from left their TVs, and so we sort of just inherited, because the TVs were like wall-mounted and stuff, and they were just like, yeah, you can, we'll just leave them. The one in the family room is an 80-inch TV. It's an 80-inch 4K OLED. I've never owned a TV as big as that one is.

And when I look at it, I'm literally like, oh my God, this is fucking huge. This is the biggest TV. To think that the one you're talking about is 30 whole inches bigger than the one that I look at and I'm like, this is comically large. It's going to be a burden. I apologize in advance. I look, the entire basement will become a shrine to the 110 inch OLED TV. I don't even care. That's fine with me. What a centerpiece, you

know, because I thought about getting it, but there was a deal on a like a 90 something inch for like 4000 and I was like, well, let's see what this is. But I wish I wish I had gone for the bigger one. Wade? You know what's more fun than watching TV? Is having your fortune presented to you. I introduce Zoltar, the fortune telling animated prop. Ah.

Wait, you could get a Zoltar for under $20,000? $16,000 in fact. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I was gonna get you a large glass gingerbread house for exactly 20,000. That had no dimensions listed. Oh, what?

But it's just a large glass gingerbread house. Large enough to go inside of or like large? Look up the Waterford, W-A-T-E-R-F-O-R-D, Water waterford large gingerbread house 20 grand no dimensions listed no idea how big or small it is oh god i don't think it's that big it's not that big it's not very big at all but i'm seeing waterford crystal gingerbread house for 156 dollars wait a minute are you are you wait a second waterford large gingerbread house i've got a skew number 20 grand I'm sure this website. I'm on with all the pop-up ads is very trustworthy. Was it from Neiman Marcus? Is that the one?

This is home bellow calm cuz Neiman Marcus has it for 16 grand 20% off right now Ah, this is full price, baby Oh, there's a there's a picture of a man carrying it under his arm So it is in fact not that big. This is why I went with Zoltar because the gingerbread house was a bit ambiguous Why is that twenty thousand dollars? Dunno, but Zoltar is cheaper. He comes with it looks like a flute some cards a feather your Fortune what else do you need and I assume I get the keys to the cabinet so I can turn it on free mode or whatever Right, so you can just oh, yeah, I mean, it's your cabinet. This would be yours old partner

I'm gonna I'm gonna raise an objection here because apparently he's Overcharging you I found a website that says you can get Zoltar fortune-teller deluxe version with a wireless microphone added in breathing added in, a free play, no dollar bill acceptor, and wheels for $10,800. He's pocketing the difference. I'm sorry, I just love the idea of like, oh yeah, we got a Zoltar cabin over in the corner. It's just sitting there, but he's just like,

uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.'s just sitting there but he's just like like does he always breathe like that yeah that's a that's a modern feature they added that in so it's like he's all he's always alive you know he's just waiting to talk to us but he you won't talk until you push the button but well shit if mark found that i'll also throw in shock. Oh the evil clown electric chair I pick marks what a shock evil clown. Well, I don't want that energy anywhere near me shock Oh the evil clown a $6,300 for shock. Oh you get that and zoltoltar. Wait, I don't like scary things.

Well, keep the fucking little kids away on Halloween, man. It's a decoration. I have a little kid. Keep them away. No, that's not allowed. I asked. Oh, I pick Mark's. Man, Shaco.

You had me with Zoltar and you lost me with Shaco the Scary Clown. You could have both! I don't want one of those! I don't want both! I don't want one at all! What about a chair? A Zoltar machine and a metal folding chair all for under $20,000.

That's interesting. Good round. Interesting choices. This should be Wheelhouse. I don't think either of you is lacking any knowledge about this and I feel like we've talked a lot about this So, you know what I'm into and when it comes to this as long as you listen to me when I talk when we do This you'll have just a great idea of where to head on this one. The budget is fifty thousand dollars The category is tech gadgets. I

Already know tech gadgets. I already know what you need. I already know what you're going to wait. You know just as much about technology as us, too. I know you're on the level footing here. This could not possibly be construed as unfair to you. Good Mark. Go ahead. All right. So this is something that I think you would actually truly appreciate

because it it it just is such a modern marvel of printing, 3D printing. And there are some people that would probably disagree with this particular pick more for like, they probably feel like it's more expensive than it needs to be, but it's from Formlabs, right? So Formlabs is probably more the Apple-esque of, you know, 3D printing. They have a very robust ecosystem, but it's kind of locked in. They want you to buy their materials, they want you to buy a service contract. If the budget is $50,000 though, and you want the best printing capability to make whatever you want, whenever you want it, I am getting you the entire package for the Fuse One Plus SLS laser centering printer. It can't do metal. Metal is still like way, way above, but it does a very strong nylon composite. It has millimeter accuracy in terms of its tolerances. It is extremely, extremely

precise and can make some incredibly strong pieces of material that will have minimal shrinkage. It's all containerized so the powder you don't have to worry about doing it all. It comes in that price is included the sifting machine to filter it out. The curing machine, you take it from one to the other. It couldn't be easier even for beginners of printing to more advanced users. It comes with a service contract, so it will be serviced for five years plus. And it's one of the ways that this kind of powder is dangerous if you don't have a robust system. It's an entirely closed system.

You never expose yourself to powder, even though you shouldn't use precautions, obviously. But if you were to get a printing setup, this would be the one for 50K. That's a hell of a thing. That is a piece of technology right there. It's too practical. I'm probably gonna lose this one.

Wade, what do you got? You look done, what do you got? I know what you care about more than 3D printing, and that's $50,000 worth of gift cards to various companies that make phone cases. Phone cases! Cause you go through more than $50,000 worth of those a month.

I thought you were just gonna say I know what's better $50,000 in gold hard cash that's a gift that keeps on giving whoa whoa whoa it's a variety of gift cards to different companies that make phone cases do I get to pick the companies or is it just all companies because there are some that I definitely don't need gift cards to nope definitely a couple to those in case you change your mind. You never know. I will not.

Pardon me. I don't know what that was. I'm sorry, grandpa. You're right. That's the only the argument stopper. I didn't even hear you say for now at first. I thought he were just making just making VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR He thinks I spend $50,000 a month on phone cases? Not anymore, free for at least a month. Okay.

Pick me, choose me. Okay, Meredith, I am gonna have to go with the Formlabs printer. Can I use it? Yeah, you can borrow, I'll take whatever you want, man. No, it comes with a service contract, I assume that means it comes with like a supply of powder and stuff, so yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, I'll run prints for you. It comes with six months of me living with you. Oh hell yeah. Yeah, I would say the resin, but resin, you know, unless you have good ventilation that can get, that could get to you. No, you get some really nasty fumes from that.

I mean, you get fumes from all 3D printing and sintering, but the resin stuff can be really gross. I do know that. But the Formlabs does have a self-contained resin system for the new ones. So it's like the, it has like an ink jet like thing. The fact that it's all self-contained and that it's literally like, you don't have to, because with the powder ones, the sifting and the resetting it every time is an important thing you have to be very meticulous with. But that is super convenient. It's a little expensive for hobbyists, but...

It is, it is, but if money was no option and it could show up, I'd be like, well, fuck yeah, alright, I'll take it. Well, money was an object, but the object was big enough for a forum lab's whatever model you said. Or phone cases. I gotta be honest, even if I bought the most outlandish phone cases that I've ever looked at, I don't know if I could spend $50,000 on phone cases. It would be fun to try cause I could do everything.

You have a lifetime left to live, man. You don't know how much they're going to cost in like 20 years. I've bought a lot of phone cases and I don't think I've even approached five figures even remotely. I probably in my lifetime have already spent like over a thousand on phone cases. You got more than half your life left to live you know? You could very easily. I mean maybe the phone case market's about to blow up, maybe there's about to be a bunch of stuff, maybe I'm missing out but I'm gonna go with the Formalize

printer on that. And you missed out on Zoltar and this. This one, one of you knows a lot about this and one of you hosts a podcast about this topic. So you should be on pretty equal footing here. The budget is $100,000 and I want you to get me sporting goods. Mark is the host of a sports podcast. I was afraid you might have an advantage on this one, but I think Wade might be able to hang with you. Okay. So I've got a variety of things here. A hundred

grand's a lot. You know, that's more than just getting you like a Jared Goff jersey. I'm looking at memorabilia that you can display. I'm looking at like signed Barry Sanders rookie cards. I'm looking at like Joe Burrow worn jerseys. Cause you're a Lions guy, you're a Bengals guy. I think those are mainly your two teams. So I'm looking at different gear, game worn gear, cards, memorabilia, helmets, shoes, signed ready to go to be displayed in your house

to show that you are the fan of fans. How many pieces is $100,000? Is this like a jersey and a rookie card or is this like I could fill a whole hallway with all kinds of stuff sort of price range? I have no concept of how much that sort of stuff costs. So far it's looking like a hallway. Like I found what is this a grade? I think this is a grade 10 Barry Sanders signed rookie card for 7,500. But I mean, there's cheaper, right? You go down to the eight and a half quality and it's 500 bucks, which is a lot. Yeah. I would assume that Barry Sanders signed a rookie card for 7,500. But I mean, there's cheaper, right? You go down to the eight and a half quality and it's 500 bucks, which is a lot.

Yeah, I would assume that Barry Sanders' card is probably pretty pricey for what it is, because that's- I'm even thinking if you go quality, you know, nine and a half, 10, that's a couple grand, a few grand. That adds up to 100 grand is like, you can have a display.

No, that'd be a pretty, you can have quite a few things, especially if you get some, go for like maybe one high end and then get a with more reasonable stuff just to have like a good collection Yeah And I'm assuming more recent players are probably slightly less expensive like Barry Sanders is kind of like a Lions legend Like if I'm looking for Tom Brady's first jersey worn ever in a game That's probably be a lot of money, but like, you know, just a he played football for 50 years

There's probably a jersey is pretty cheap. But like that'd be a good one to show to Tyler He loves that guy. I have the thing for you, you know my themes man the gift that keeps on Giving all right. There's a store by the name of play it again sports Now I haven't now I can't get one for sale ready to go Now I haven't- now I can't get one for sale ready to go, but the franchise fee for starting a Play It Again Sports is 90 to 105 thousand dollars. What better way to get your foot in the door of sporting goods and have whatever you want at any time then play it again sports which is where I sold my discuses when I was done throwing we buy sell and trade quality use sports and fitness gear oh do you not know play it again Wade nope I did not oh it's a yeah it's like a used it's like a used athletic store they have

like lots of golf clubs lots of baseball mitts and bats and softball stuff, lots of like weightlifting stuff. They kind of, it's kind of like, if you took a full size like Dick's sporting goods and compressed it down to the size of like a dollar general, but didn't get rid of any of the stuff that's in there, just really pack shit in, stack things on each other. It's like, it's like a hoarder operates the store

at most of these places. But then like most of the stuff in there is used. You can bring, like you can bring your stuff in and sell it to them and then they'll resell it, which is good. I bought a lot of stuff from Play It Again. When I was a kid, all my like soccer cleats, football cleats, all my gear that would have been kind of stupidly expensive for me to buy and use for three years as a kid who was playing all these sports I played. Oh, Play It Again was a great place. So what is Mark getting you from here? An actual just whole store?

He's getting me a Play It Again sports. Literally those places are like rats nests of sporting goods. It's, I like it. Dumb bells on shelves leaning over you. I was at one recently because I was trying to get some golf clubs on the cheap because I'm getting into golf, but golf clubs are fucking expensive. And I was like there and I got to get that rumble

and you're like, uh-oh, need a potty immediately. And I just looked around and I was like, oh, I really need it. I'll see if they have one. And I went and talked to the guy at the front. I was like, you have a bathroom? I didn't. He's like, oh, yeah, at the back there. Just go went and talked to the guy at the front. I was like, you have a bathroom? I didn't. It's like, oh yeah, at the back there, just go around, climb over the bucket of softballs.

And I literally had to like climb over some stuff, go into the back hallway, move some skis that were leaned up against the door to get into the bathroom. And I think in the bathroom, there were like some buckets of baseballs or something like stacked up in there. Cause it was like every corner of space. We need the storage. I look at the website and the pictures of products, you can see in the

background it's just hellscape clutter behind these pictures and they tried to isolate them, like put them somewhere clean or take a picture. No, I love it. I loved, playing it is a very like childhood nostalgia thing for me, but the absolute cluster fuck is hard to even appreciate until you're actually inside one because really just some of them do feel like dangerous. Like I'm sure they're not. Oh man. That's such a good one, Mark. What was yours? Why not even remember? Yeah, man. The sign memorabilia trophy, right? Playing cards and stuff. Yeah, that's why I really like marks and that's very nostalgic. But I think including all the rest of the price for what you'd have to do to actually get a store operational you're probably looking

at more like 250 to 350 thousand dollars in total which is I am into that and that's interesting that the franchise fee is so affordable because when this podcast ends I'm gonna need job or something and I'm right now I'm thinking about uh fry cook maybe play it again sports guy but I think I'm gonna have to look at the sports collection I think that's interesting I think wait I've won again I mean again is a little it's a little braggy but I think it's only the second time next category this one is a narrow distinction here with a budget of 250 000 dollars time. Next category. This one is a narrow distinction.

With a budget of $250,000, I want adventure gear. This could be a vehicle. There are plenty of like overlanding, you know, custom truck type things or, or this could be an experience. How much does it cost? Can you buy a mountain? You could buy land on a mountain. So you must be able to buy the whole mountain eventually.

Anyway, adventure. I'm looking for adventure, you know? I know that the best adventure you've ever been on in your life, besides the adventure of fatherhood, was the tour. So how can you relive that experience with a tour bus of your very own? Tour buses, new, cost $750,000. That's a little much. So that's not what I was going for. So I was looking for a used tour bus.

I definitely found the exact tour bus that we went on tour on for $249,000. I sure did, I found it. So that you can relive the adventure of your life for the rest of your life. I'm gonna be honest, I happen to have a little bit of personal knowledge about this, and even if you maybe didn't find exactly

what you were looking for, even though you totally did, this could be accomplished in budget. I actually happened to watch a couple YouTube channels where they talk about this sort of thing. It would not be like a brand new one even remotely, but you could absolutely... the buses that we rode on on the tours were also not brand new as I recall them. So it would be an accurate experience. You could definitely accomplish that. The other half of what I was going to suggest is we just rented a van, a conversion van, to take up into this cabin.

And it was nice, it was a bit older, but the price of that is way under what it would be. It's not cheap by any means, but it's $125 as opposed to $250. So I was like, one's way too under, but they're very cool. You could probably get a really decked out like Mercedes Benz conversion. Like a Mercedes Sprint version thing, yeah. that would probably be pushing the price up and it be maybe be a bit more practical but you could definitely get something like that but I was going for tour bus so I landed on that so that's my pick now I like that I like that that's good that's accomplishable thank you I believe it

firmly in my plums you want adventure and adventure could mean a lot of things it could mean one big item or it could mean you want a multitude of adventures. So what if I get you some sordid scuba gear? 15k, $1,200 wetsuit. All right, enough with the water. What if you want to go hiking, backpacking, adventuring? There's a $44,000 backpack, the Calibre X machine 56K FTEX. What if you want to go into, I don't know, Chernobyl? How about a $6,000 hazmat suit? How about some $33,000 binoculars?

How about all-terrain vehicle for $33,500? And you know what, why not a cool 45-foot boat on the ocean while we're at it too? The 2015 Bluewater 100K, all totaling up to $240,000. What a random smattering of adventure. Any adventure you want man I've been trying to plan for it. That might be a couple gaps but that's pretty thorough. I forgot shoes. I own shoes. But you got flippers we got some flippers in here. I'll just wear those on every adventure. Then I'll be prepared. Man was I after I was like, oh that's enough gear

And I was looking at the total was like a hundred thousand. I was like 150,000 left. I gotta buy a helicopter I couldn't afford that no helicopters are very expensive. Even a used crappy helicopter is Crazy expensive interesting thing. I know a surprising amount about as well helicopters very expensive. I Want to pick weights? No Karen. I don't want to talk to you right now. very expensive. I want to pick weights. No, Karen, I don't want to talk to you right now. Okay, I'm not going to pick weights. No, no, not you. Oh, okay. That wasn't directed. I thought you were talking to me. No, no, no. The boat website. Karen was trying really hard to sell me the boat. I want to pick weights. The one and only problem that I see with it, and I'm going to say is, is probably just disqualifying

is I don't live close enough to the ocean to really enjoy a boat. I always think it's weird when people who live around the area that I live in in Ohio are pulling a boat on a trailer because I'm like, where the fuck is there even around here? I don't want to go boat in the Ohio River. Lake Cumberland is only three hours. Three hours? Yeah. Look, I love your idea, but I live on land.

And you know what goes on land? When you go on vacation, you go to your boat. But then you always have to go to the same vacation place. Don't have to. But then I'm not using the boat if I don't go to the boat. Well, yeah, but you're not using the hazmat suit if you don't go to an hazardous area, but you got it. I can wear the hazmat suit.

That's your own thing. You're right. Your other gift is also a bad idea. Thank you But I'm giving you adventure sounds like you're giving me a pile of crap I gotta find storage places for tour bus wins You got a pander more mark really pandered didn't you chew me out for pandering to mark like two episodes ago Yeah, but didn't it still work? I was just mad because you were winning because you pandered better than I did. I'll do anything to win.

I have no ethics whatsoever. I don't have an ethical bone in my body when it comes to this podcast specifically. Otherwise, outside of this, I'm a very ethical, highly moral person. It's a $44,000 backpack. I don't know how it could possibly cost that much. Is it made of the bones of children?

Why is it $44,000? It's a backpack you put on your back, right? Like straps and pockets and things? Uh, Calibre X Machine 56KF slash T-X underscore G1-3 level carrier futuristic backpack. I feel like that's just a scam to separate rich people from their money who think they're buying a cool backpack. Oh, it says not for sale in brackets here. Oh Well, and your whole thing's really falling apart here. I was gonna get it for you anyway Yeah, well you if you were gonna make that happen I would appreciate that but let's move on to the final category here for a budget of one million dollars Get me a luxury item. I have it mark

Mark's really been thinking about what he's gonna get me for Christmas this year. I like where your head's at. Let me tell you, what's the definition of luxury? Ah. Excess, excess is what defines a luxury good and you know what you're gonna have excess of? Everything we just said because you're gonna get Yeah, that's right you get two of whatever the hell else you picked besides the tour bus

All that shit the way got you that other round tool just to be clear. I'm gonna get two hundred and ten inch TVs To crypto scams, yep. Oh, yeah to form labs if you use one printers Two pairs of Balenciaga socks neeks. Oh, yep Two hallways full of sports memorabilia, two tour buses. Interesting, a bold move. I see that, I see where you're coming from. Wade, you ready? You're getting a new hot tub full of money. You're gonna scrooge me, duck this shit.

Cause what's more luxurious than actually having a pool of money? Wait, what kind of money is it full of? Is this like coins? Is this like bills? No, no, no, whatever. Whatever style of bill makes it look the fullest. Okay, so like singles. But that would be like a layer of hundreds on top to make it look like it's all big. I actually forgot something about mine is you wouldn't just get two. It's a fucking it's a fucking like sales commercial like just like you won't just get two. It's a fucking- it's a fucking like sales commercial Just like, you won't just get one extra

Cause I forgot You would get three total of everything you had before Because it's an additional one million on top of everything else Everything else prior to this cost four hundred and forty one thousand some odd dollars You would get two more and still have a hundred thousand Leftover for another hot tub. I could still have my own playing against sports all of that and a plate again sports I don't know if all of those items qualify as luxury. I feel like they count as adventure other topic It's not about the items. It's not about the items. You see a guy with three tour buses.

Come on, come on, come on. That's low. You don't even know which tour bus you're taking on your adventures. You had to pick your tour bus. You know what? I got to concede the point. He's right. You see a guy with three tour buses.

You're like, man, why? Or one really good tour bus. That's not what he offered you man I hate to tell you wait so are you just actually conceding that point no no I'm offering you a pool of money you can see the point about the tour bus thing was luxury oh okay you can see that point that's good okay or he conceded everything I did not concede everything I know it kind of sounded like he was just conceding everything but that. That's an argument of interpretation. As much as I think that Mark's answer

is the one I would like to pick and the funniest, Wade's is a little bit better at the actual category itself. Plus, because hot tubs are not a very expensive thing in the scheme of a million dollars, I could basically do Wade's thing, and then when I get sick of it, then do Mark's thing. Because I would just have, like I would have a million dollars minus like $30,000 for the hot tub.

And that would be a fancy ass hot tub. Like you can get a hot tub for like six grand. I could probably fill the hot tub and still have like 700 grand to spare. Cause I don't even know how many how much money it takes to fill out but it probably can't be a million dollars in singles a couple hundred thousand bills of paper probably fill a hot tub up pretty good yeah probably I pick Wade's I could have everything Mark wanted to

sell me the moon but Wade wanted to sell me everything cash money man what's more luxurious than cash money? Credit card money, I don't know. Look, I understand that the burden of three tour buses isn't for everybody, but you know, some people are more accustomed to the luxury life. Three crypto scam rug pull. No, I made my choice.

All right, I'm gonna read the points now. In no particular order Wade you got a point for sad a minus one point for breaking sad You got a point for being man Don't take meds point for the stairs point for eat the pets minus one point for breaking Shadgun. Oh, that's right breaking shotgun cuz yeah got it yeah that's a minus point you got points for crypto rug pull high five Balenciaga sock sneak ver meow ver meow I forget why you said that sports memorabilia I won again and hot tub of money mark you

earn points for your voice guns Benjamin buttoning good and handsome gun hyper fixation incoming Movie in perpetuity. Oh, yeah, you want the movie in perpetuity. That's right. That's right. That was another good one big old TV Formlabs printer and tour buses with the s in quotation marks because that's only in theory Wade you earned 11 points Mark you earned 10 points oh no Wade you then proceeded to unearn 2 points meaning that the final score is 10 for Mark and 9 for Wade oh

sorry that 11 did not include your 2 minus points that the final score is 10 for Mark and 9 for Wade. OHHHH! Sorry, that 11 did not include your two minus points. Well now I'm breaking mad! Oh, now it's 10 to 8! OHHHH! OHHHH! And that means Mark is the greatest gifter of all. Now I'm breaking down bad. You can't lose any more than you're already losing, but you could certainly try.

Uh, winner speech, Mark? I persevered and through my own obsession with constantly looking at very expensive things, I was able to carry this one through to the finish line with my outlandish suggestions and honestly cementing myself as a disdain- distasteful elite one percenter who only lives in a bed of luxury and will never be able to relate to the common man, but I'm a winner today! So I'll take that! Yeah! Congratulations, Wade. As the poor common man, I really felt like I started

at a disadvantage. Mark clearly knows how much all these items are, cause he owns them all from being in a rich elite one-percenter. But you know, I thought my ideas were great and now I'm stuck with $50,000 with a phone case gift cards, all of those adventuring items. I got a Zoltar. If anybody's looking for him, don't hit me up,

but pretend to. Did you get the breathing one? I just want to come over and listen to him breathe for a while. Yeah, I was able to afford the breathing one And then I got the gibbity the clown or whatever the fuck his name is. You got a skibbity toilet for fix your plumbing problems You know what Wade if we're honest your ideas were really good today But also two of your ideas were so bad that they cost you the win

I don't regret a thing I said today. You don't look like you regret it, and that's really what's important. God, I love my humor. I love me, and I will always laugh at me. You always have at least one laugh. Possibly only one, but time will tell. That's the end of the episode. Congratulations, Mark. You'll be hosting the next one.

Follow us on socials at our names. Oh yeah, merch. DistractableStore.com. That's the place where the thing, type that in. And that's it. Until then, like we say at the end, podcast out. Merry Christmas to one and all.