Distractible - Movie Villain Awards

Episode Date: October 25, 2024

Is the Gingerdead Man's derisiveness and Lady Dimitrescu hypnosis over Mark powerful enough to earn them the highest award Wade can give? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. Monopoly Double Play is back at McDonald's and it's easy to get into the win. There are millions of prizes to be won, including a new chance to win cash every minute in the app. Get into the game with Monopoly Double Play at McDonald's. While supplies last, 1 in 5 chances to win Game Peace prizes at outset. Chances to win Double Play prizes based on time of code entry and draw prizes based on number of entries in each draw. See rules in app. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable.

This episode, Waxy Wade loves jacking bowers with pineapples, defends Tepehs, and forces his friends to rate rascals. Ballester Bob loves drilling deep holes, crashes on a cannibal, and is unimpressed by the undead. Martian Mark bucks up for Black Day sales sales and gets aroused by ennobled aliens and Arnie. From ruined apertures to wet wallowits, yes, it's time for Movie Villain Awards. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractable.

I'm today's host, Wade, because I am just so good at telling short, terrifying stories. You've never joined us before. One of us hosts, the other two compete for points, and the person with the most points, typically, at the end gets to host the next episode. The games, the rules, the points are all arbitrary. The host decides how it works works within reason I'm joined as always by Mark and Bob hey guys hello hello how are you oh oh oh what do you oh this guy Bob asking us how we are yeah what glad to hear it I'm good great thank you for normal human response. That's what they call me normal human Bob I'm good, too. Not that anyone asked no nobody else. That's fair. I should have that's my bad I will immediately remove points for myself. Thank you. It doesn't make it better though

You lose a lot of points when you host usually do you guys don't take them from me, so someone's gotta What do you want to know man? What do you want to know lay it on me what's new in your lives small talk me how's it going what you got going on if i say movie stuff will it lose me points no no i think bob and i agreed it's only lenses so far that lose you points well i guess i could talk about lenses a little bit please make my day oh god don't do that there Those two is- I felt that. I should have just answered that in the last one. One sentence follow up, please. I heard the doorbell ring,

please. That would make everything instantly scary. Should I talk about lenses? Do you have new lens stuff to talk about? No, no, but I wasn't talking about using them when I was doing the pickup shots and like having them because I have a set now of the same lenses we used on set and they're just fucking incredible.

And I don't care if it loses me points, it's fine. That really is all the talk I've been talking about how they like they just make the image, they just make it like they, there's something about it and it's not something you can replicate in terms of. The light passes through them, refracts image made. You get it, you get it. Yeah, it's just like, I really appreciated having them because also from a performance perspective,

some of those lenses perform better than most modern lenses I've bought in terms of like their close focus and like their aperture and just like, their aperture and and just like the oh It's just there's a gorgeous. I can't deny I was very happy to have them and I know they were expensive and The way I got him took a lot of extra time because I got him, you know I bought the actual lenses I got him rehoused and then took like a whole year to get that back But having him just oh man

Isn't nice when things are made for quality more than profit? I mean, no, they were the people that made them they made them for profit. Trust me. Fuck. They made him for profit Capitalism has a point now. Yes capitalism has all the points But yeah using them just man, it just made me really appreciate what they are and and how they are I had one of the lenses really rare one actually over There's a while back. They came into the mail and this guy, you know, it was these are these are some of the rarest lenses So they're like expensive and he shipped it in a single layer of bubble wrap and some newspaper Just the loosest wrapping you could have when I got the box

I tipped it over and you could hear glass the whole thing shifted because the lens was just rolling around in there no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no had been scratching the inside non-broken elements. It was ruined. I was really sad because this lens that will never be made again, that there are only less of in the world, lost one lens because this guy who should appreciate it and sell it shipped it internationally from Japan and it just did not pack it for the trip.

It wouldn't be sufficient if you were sending it a state over. It definitely wouldn't if you're sending it across an ocean. Like it it was just it was sad. I was very sad. Yeah, that sucks It's okay. I got refund, but it's as is what it is. Yeah, but you know, there's a finite number that does suck Yeah, that's what made it that's what made it really really really disappointing Just like there's another one gone and then someday they will all be gone. That's it. That's the only lens stock I got What about you Bob? What's new? No new lenses, same lenses. Same prescription?

Yeah, same prescription. Still rocking it. I built cabinets and now I think I can do woodworking, but the cabinets were from Ikea and I didn't count this building, I just screwed them together. No, that's pretty much woodworking. I think you qualify.

Oh yeah. I mean, I did use clamps to attach the faces together. So they're kind of built in lower cabinets now and they're all lined up. They look real nice. They're off camera over there. Keep looking at them. Now I'm pretty sure I can do any kind of wordworking I want.

It's funny you mentioned that. I'm gonna buy a bunch of tools. Yeah. You know, get into some stuff. I have a shelf near like our TV setup and like one shelf has like some holes that like some cables run to like a projector Setup so the cables run there There's a shelf above it that I want to put like some of the electronics or console or something on

But it has no way to get there right now I need to put like some holes in there so you could help me make my shelf good I don't even know if that technically counts as woodworking. You just literally need to drill a hole, maybe with a small hole saw. That would be working the wood for me. That's just using a drill. That's just drilling one thing basically. This is so weird,

because Amy just asked me about a hole drill bit, a circular drill bit, just five minutes ago. They're called hole saws. Hole saws. It's a saw you put on your drill. You need to get multiple cables through, so like some HDMIs, some like outlet, so on and so forth. The problem really isn't the cables because the problem is the heads because the heads

are really you need to have. That's what I mean, yeah, they gotta fit though. But probably like an inch and a half for a two inch hole saw. And you can even buy a grommet if you want to be fancy. Is he one of the Muppets? Which is just a little plastic sleeve you insert. Yeah, and a Muppet. He's a Muppet.

He's a Muppet who holds your cables. Oh, right. I'm gonna give you a grommet point. Anyway, I mean, I could do that for you, but I think you could handle it if you really wanted to. Oh, I don't really do stuff. Oh, come on, man. You could do it, bud.

It's drilling a hole. But then there's dust to clean up and a tool to put away. Why, you just do it outside, it blows away. I don't know if that shelf comes out, it might be built in. It's trickier. Oh, well that's a little bit more of a pain in the ass, but they just need to vacuum. Just vacuum it up. And all the electronics underneath have to be removed and put back.

That doesn't sound like woodworking, I'm not doing that in any case. It's not my job, that's another department. You're gonna get me in trouble. I gotta get an electronic mover, I gotta get a woodworker, I gotta get a vacuumer. This is starting to add up in price. You need some PAs, you need some grips. Is it Ryobi days? You could get a whole bunch of stuff.

Is it Ryobi days? Ryobi day? I'm thinking about really going all in on Ryobi days. It's not currently Ryobi days, I don't think. I think we passed it, didn't we? There'll be another big sale though. They always have like a holiday sale for Ryobi stuff. Oh man, I gotta be on Black Friday's or Cyber Monday's software sales.

There's so many pieces of software that are so unbelievably expensive that go for like 90% off on Black Friday. Really? Oh yeah. Asset packs. Always asset packs asset packs sound effects libraries all things like that I slept on them last year, but now I'm like I want all the asset packs all the sound libraries There's this one sound library that costs like $10,000 for the complete library Jesus. I slept on it It was like 80 90 percent off last year and I didn't buy it and then I was like cuz when am I gonna need all These 5.1 surround sound sound effects and now I'm working on this and I didn't buy it and then I was like cuz when am I gonna need all these 5.1 surround sound sound effects

And now I'm lurking on this and I'm like fuck. I wish I had those 5.1 surround sound sound effects. That would be great Oh, man. Yeah, maybe if you were making some kind of movie that might be important. Yeah, it's like a lifetime license And it's like yeah, it's so over my entire life I would have probably never use all the sounds in there But man, I gotta get it this time could just start putting extra sounds into videos and stuff just cuz you got them yeah I mean that's basically what we do in YouTube and here on editors hit them with all your sound effects easy there now my fade out sound I Don't think now my fade in sound

Good, do you know what? Evangelion is yeah that guy is really old who tries to sell you Bibles on TV close to this you got it Okay, so then you know what Ed and Eddie is right? I'm picturing something weird already. Yeah Come on something weird already yeah oh come on that's what I imagine you fucking fade out sound dude I fucking love Edna and Edi sound effects. Some of the other cartoons that have tried to do the mini sound effects things never get it right.

But Ed and Eddie, oh god. When I hear that horn I always think of the Lost Boys whenever the vampire gets hit by a car. I don't know that one. Kiefer Thotherlund? Kiefer Thotherlund? Kiefer Thotherlund? He was Jack Bowers in 24.

Um, okay. You alright? No. Kiefer Thutherland? He was Jack Bauer then 24. Um, okay. You alright? No. I don't remember what I lost my first point for, but I took away another one for Kiefer Thutherland. Kiefer Thutherland? Alright, Ryobi days, woodworking. Got some good stuff here. Anything else going on before

we jump into the topic? I got a juicy one today. How juicy? Potentially very. What fruit? Oh, the juiciest. You don't know a fruit, do you? Yeah, I do. A sparrow lime?

Bra... Bra-nana? I prefer lime-arigus. Green... Bineapple? What? You know... Fruit.

No, say it again! Green... Bineapple? Bineapple? You didn't say that last time. That's not a kind of fruit at all. That's not even two kinds of fruit. Tomato?

There you go. Cool. Well, if you guys don't have anything else, we'll jump into our topic. I really don't think I do. Mark had some really good smallpox. Smallpox? Thank you. He did have some really good smallpox.

He did have some really good smallpox over there. I'm going to stay away, but... Kiefer Sutherland had... Kiefer Sutherland had smallpox. I really enjoyed your small talk talk Mark. It was sad. The lens one was sad, but also interesting and good. That was a good bit ago, but yeah, that's the only one that's really broken. So thankfully, I've been pretty lucky. There's been some that have arrived in subpar condition. It's pretty good luck for stuff that's fairly delicate.

The only other thing that broken was that art piece lens, the cutaway one. Oh. That guy was a prick about the refund Well, that sucks. Oh, well, I always meant to fix it someday But then you know, I never got around to it and I lost some of the pieces that it's hard to fix people that are Pricks like that. Oh, no, I'm not gonna fix that guy. There's no fixing that I could fix her Okay, all right. Go for it Do it you won't we write?

All right, so to jump into today's topic what I will do is tell you that it is still terrifying spoopy season And what we're gonna do is we're going to have the scariest awards show known to mankind. The Tonys? Not that terrifying but still pretty bad. But we're gonna have the Halloween Awards show today where we're going to go through and I've got a list of awards and you guys are going to debate who is the most deserving of each award. Yay! All right, me probably. We got some golden ones on here, so let's see. Let's start with just based on like no knowledge of what they've actually done, but either, you know, looking at them or hearing about

them. Which horror movie villain would you think just based on like basic information would be the most likely to succeed? Like that high school award, the most likely to succeed, you know, the person that you're just like, they're going to succeed in life. Does it matter if in their genre or movie or whatever they were in, if they succeeded there or not or? Nope. This is not based on their accomplishments at all. It's just like going in, you see this killer monster villain, whatever, and you're like, they seem like they're most likely going to win.

Like, how do you stop that? I'm a little out of my elephant. I don't know. I'm not that well versed in like horror characters. So I'm really that's okay You can just go with ones, you know, you don't have to like reach too far out that outside the box Why do I not want to say the s's today man? I don't know what happened to me I don't want to s today outside the box it happens. I got some options here Okay You say most likely to succeed and the thing about that award is the person who gets it very rarely ever actually succeeds so I want to nominate it started as a radio

play and then it was a movie with like Tom Cruise in it yeah what's that called aliens yeah aliens tripod aliens the day before after tomorrow war of the worlds war of the world yeah so the aliens from war of the worlds they had all the opportunity in the world to succeed. All odds were that no one on Earth could stop them. You know, they had everything going for them. And yet, aw man, viruses. Whoops. Single cell organisms. Oh, how did they overlook that? You know, everything would have happened. If there's ever De Ex Machina happening, it's it's right then and there. So they were most likely to succeed even over like the Independence Day aliens who could

blow up cities. Because it's like they made their computer systems hackable by like 1990s computers. I think they deserve that. But we're the world you know, that's that's just unfair to them. They were so successful in what they were doing. And yet, ah ah man, I got the flu. I do like the thought of Independence Day aliens not renewing their Norton subscription. That's why they lost. War of the Worlds aliens though, you're right. I mean, they were just like dominating. They're like, Oh, I forgot my flu medicine. If only we had vented life support.

And their machines also seem to get sick when they were piloting the tripods. It's like woozy and the whole thing is like. And it's like, come on, that doesn't have an autopilot in there or something. I don't know why I'm rooting for them, but you know. Oh, that's fair. Most likely to succeed.

That's what I would have put my money on. Good nomination. Bob, you have a nomination add to the list? I don't know a lot about this franchise, but I do know this character a little bit. I would say Hannibal Lecter. Seems like he's really got his shit together. Just in general in terms of succeeding in his nefarious ambitions, but also like as a person. Like he wouldn't be like a good friend. He seems kind of uptight, kind kind of wound up kind of person But like I would not be surprised if he had a very successful like career very successful life It seems you know like he's got it all sort of figured out and also just is a bit of a cannibal

I mean he was a good friend to Clarice just nobody else. I guess he's smart He's very like sophisticated like he's very sort of charismatic character. Like he just, he's got a lot going for him, you know? He's like a pretty successful guy. That's like a double, because he was probably most likely to succeed in school too, because he was so smart and became like the super therapist that everyone respected, well-renowned, successful financially, successful in killing.

He had a lot going for him, yeah. Yeah, I forgot that. He is like a, he has a career. He's like a therapist or whatever, right? That's the thing about the character. I mean, it just seems like he was successful All right between those two let's just stick to those two since those are the first two nominees you guys came up with What are the world's aliens and Hannibal who most deserves the award for most likely to succeed going in? I mean your candidate doesn't necessarily like if your candidate wins you win because otherwise you guys are never gonna agree

The thing I would detract about mine is that it's not one, it's like, it's a whole race. And the problem with like a villain is you really should be able to put one face to it. So I would, I would detract from mine about that, but also I'd be like, they were very likely to succeed. Yeah, I do feel like the aliens fumbled harder. Like they had way more in terms of advantages, but then also, whoops, the common cold. I mean, if you just have the setup of like one person serial killer versus entire advanced alien race dominating humanity, you would say that the alien race is more likely to succeed at the get go if they get their setups.

They had enough prep time, but they didn't. Needed to get those vaccines. I can't believe they didn't think they needed to worry about smallpox. Always get some. I love our smallpox callbacks. Oh yeah, we did, oh wait, yeah. That was the thing, that's true.

He's not just making that up. I might personally lean War of the Worlds aliens unless I can be convinced, because man, they fumbled hard. I just feel like the tone of the whole award is very Hannibal like that he gives off the vibe of was definitely most likely to succeed in his high school senior yearbook. You know what that is fair. That sort of is his character.

Mark you have any input either way? No not really you know the more I think about it the less I'm like clearly they were just like this is what we do we're taking this planet So it's like you can't fault them, right? I'm not trying to sell myself short but Because they're basically us to every other species and we're not villains Pretty much. There's no way we're the bad guys. Alright, well, you know what? We'll give it to Hannibal then. Hannibal is most likely to succeed Yeah, most other villains in my mind just they do succeed. So

This episode is brought to you by Coca-Cola Creations What happens when the best drink and the best cookie in the world get together? The best become besties? Let's taste the new Coca-Cola Oreo zero sugar limited edition. Mark, are you excited? They sent us these special and then we're gonna we're gonna try them I've been in an undisclosed location kind of in a- Sucks to be you, cheers, Bob. Yeah. I actually haven't had like a tasty treat in a while.

It's been- Ooh. It's like if Oreos was a drink, honestly. It's kind of an unexpected flavor, but it's almost like, kind of like the icing of an Oreo. What do you think, Mark? Editors, put in the sound of me glugging. That's great, guys. So good.

Try the new Coca-Cola Oreo Zero Sugar, limited edition. Besties for a limited time. Taste it while it lasts! Ahhhhh! Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company. Copyright 2024, Mondelise International Group. Let's go with the best smile. And you can interpret this in multiple ways

as in like the most horrific smile, actually the best smile or anything in between. Pennywise gotta be up there. Oh, Pennywise. Pennywise got a great smile. That's a good one. I don't know the entire lore of the movie. I do feel like the smile from smile,

pretty good smile, if you know what I'm getting at. I haven't seen it. I haven't either. Let me look it up. The basic gist of the movie is like the main character, Dr. What's-her-face, Cotter, sees a crazy traumatic incident involving a patient and then starts experiencing like freaky experiences and is like pursued by a thing that's just trying to like horrify her and it's the smile. The smile, it keeps like popping up on

different people's faces. I think I have not seen the movie but that's the gist that I'm getting. The actors, at least the clips I've seen and I saw the trailer Smile 2 is supposed to come out this year. The clips where the people are doing the smile and it's kind of like the thousand yard stare smile. It's like the weird It's very creepy. It's very good. It's very effective I guess yeah for the category of best smile You can't live without it But Pennywise great smile the fact that bill scars guard can just do that is pretty impressive and tim currie did a great one

I mean, yeah, there's some good smiles. Can I share a, uh, I Googled smile. I'm just going to share one here that came up. Warning, scary, gore, terrifying something warnings. Warned whatever. It's the most scarring thing we've ever seen in our lives. It might be. It's, I mean, it's, it's unsettling to say the least. All right. It's very fleshy, muscly. It's gross. Look away for a moment if you don't want to see. Oh my God. Oh, he's so happy. Oh, what am I looking at? the smile entity from the movie? No, I don't know what it's from It's called the smile entity. It just showed up search results

The smile entity is the the entity from smile. I think 2020 horror short film Laura hasn't slept. It's 2022 films adaptation smile and it's upcoming. So yeah, it is this one from smile Yeah, Laura hasn't slept is in the is films adaptation smile and it's upcoming so yeah it is this one from smile. Yeah Laura hasn't slept is in the is in the smile universe or whatever. That's pretty awful. I mean that's a really well done whatever that is. I love the multiple rows of teeth coming down like that's horrifying. That's a really done whatever the hell you know. I'm not gonna lie I was all in on Pennywise now I'm 50 50 because that that added with the smiles that Bob was talking about. Those are a pretty potent combo.

It reminds me of the grunt from Amnesia with its mouth stretched down here. It's got more teeth going down. Yeah. Count at least five rows of bottom teeth. Oh man, if you look up more pictures of that thing, there's a still frame I've found of the whole creature standing over. Oh, man. Yeah. Gross. That's something.

I can always appreciate practical effects in horror movies. That's that's that's that's that's no good. I was settled. I'm not anymore. So who's our winner between Pennywise and the smile entity or the smile villain smile? That just depends on what you mean by best smile cuz like that's one hell of a smile Yeah, I mean Nicest smile not that one Most pleasant smile. Uh-uh. That's what's up for debate here. The reason I still like Pennywise is because like it's

straddles the line of like it's a clown. I don't like that though. You know, if you want to just go like absolute most horrific to look at for sure that that smile while still qualifying as a smile, I think the smile entity still would be the most horrific but still is technically smiling. Have you seen Bill Skarsgård without makeup do the smile and like do the lip thing and oh God, it's so good. I don't know, it's up to you, judge.

I'm torn too. I feel like I buy the Pennywise argument. I feel like Pennywise is like the smile I think of. Like that was the first one I thought of when I read this was Pennywise. That's gotta mean something. So I'm gonna give this one to Pennywise. Fair.

I'm upset that I made us see that, and I apologize. Let's go with best dressed. Ooh. Got Freddy Krueger with his fedora. That's always classy. This is a weird image, but can I pick sort of a classical villain, but from a comedic? Anyway, look, Dr. Frankenstein from the played by Gene Wilder.

I feel like he was quite the dapper man. Iconic, too. Very, very. I feel like that's an iconic like mad scientist look. The whole wardrobe that Gene Wilder sports in that movie is, but that's not strictly horror because it's funny. But speaking of Gene Wilder, if you consider Willy Wonka, the villain of Willy Wonka, which some people do, he was impeccably dressed.

That's true. Wonka, Wonka does not, there's no slouch. Yeah, but I can't say that that would be my absolute definitive answer. Okay. I would say, I mean, again, Pennywise is up there, but I mean, if you like clowns, you could say that. This is a very classic mad scientisty look. I will say I mean again Pennywise is up there, but I mean if you like clowns you could say that. This is a very classic mad scientisty look. I will give you that. Oh, it is the classic mad scientist look. Yeah. All mad scientist looks were basically based off of that look. I especially like he has like the smoking jacket with the big like velvet jacket with the big lapels,

but then he's got the black mock turtleneck with the lab coat like he's got all of the big lapels, but then he's got the black mock turtle neck with the lab coat. Like he's got all of the looks. Oh, what about in Inglourious Basterds, the main Nazi guy played by who's his name? Incredibly menacing villain, always impeccably dressed. Landa? Colonel Landa?

Yeah, Landa. Who plays him? Christoph Waltz? Is that his name? Yeah, Christoph Waltz plays Colonel Hans Landa. Who plays him? Christoph Waltz. Is that his name? Yeah, Christoph Waltz plays Colonel Hans Landa. He's got all of his buttons. He's got the garb perfectly pressed. Okay. He mostly wears the SS uniform in general, but like the black trench coat and especially the pipe he smokes in the opening sequence. Yeah. Pretty strong look, pretty iconic. I was thinking someone like Count Dracula, the classic like cape, well-mannered, like I don't know. That's what came to my mind first and foremost.

Trying to think of like more villains that actually wear clothing, because most of them don't. Or it's like Jason who's got rags on, and I'm like, oh, you can't really, can't really do much with that. I'm gonna toss mine on there too. I think we can go with those three.

Doctor, I don't know how to pronounce it. Frankenstein. Frankenstein from young Frankenstein. Frankenstein versus Colonel Hans Landa versus Dracula. Those are our three contenders for best dressed. No, there's got to be one more we're missing. Oh, American Psycho, Jason Bateman's character. He did love his clothing. He was quite the fashionable man. Actually being conceited as like his old character thing. Yeah. Hannibal could be on the list too.

Hannibal was always very put together. I would say American Psycho guy. Joker, Joker always had a classic look. I wouldn't say best dressed. Just a suit. Like iconic look, maybe best dressed, if you're going with iconic look rather than just like looking most dapper This is a tough one. I gotta look up like a list of characters that actually what was that movie where there's like a girl

Robot who's supposed to like protect the little girl that she's assigned to but then she turns into like a murderous little girl Robot, what is that called? Not Annabelle is it? Maybe yes into like a murderous little girl robot. What is that called? Not Annabelle, is it? Um, maybe, yes. Megan. Megan. She's like very, I mean, I'm not a good assessor of women's fashion, but like, she wears like a very nice looking like suede coat and she has like dresses and things.

She looks like very nicely dressed the whole movie, which is part of why it's so creepy, but. Got a lot of people on this list now. I looked up this list and it's basically everyone that we've already listed because there aren't that many sort of the whole villain thing is you know, not necessarily dressed the best. Megan, Patrick Bateman, Dracula, Hans Landa and Dr. Frankenstein. We got to pick one of them.

I'm partial to Gene Wilder, but I think I'm just a big fan of that movie. What? I found one. It's not a horror movie though. Does that matter? We're kind of being a little loose with it. Okay. Persian Emperor from 300.

Oh shit. Yeah. Not horror, but. It's not like horror, but it's like horror adjacent in all the like sort of like body horror. I don't know like weird Sexual stuff. There's like a lot of there's a lot of stuff going on there. Yeah, but the look Okay, I'm gonna limit this down to a three here

Dude the voice that they get for Xerxes to with the whatever they did to that actor's voice because I'm pretty sure that's not Just the natural voice. It is correct in a way that is very satisfying. Yeah, I would love to know how they did that. Zerxes as a character is awesome. Here's our three, final three. Dr. Frankenstein, Dracula, and Zerxes. Which of those three wins best dressed?

Hmm. Two of them are kind of classic set the stage one of them is more modern but my god is he like look the part yeah I feel like Xerxes is just a whole in his own class yeah he's also not very dressed to be honest he's mostly naked and that's true he is adorned yeah he's adorned I think if you had to really pick who's actually a villain well the Count Dracula I guess depends but but dr. francis definitely probably not a villain Xerxes not a horror movie villain Count Dracula or Dracula in general being one

of the most iconic and if you think of fashion I think that kind of does win he wears a cape you know we are underplaying how cool capes are. Yeah, that is true. He wears a cape because he's so pale. Well, Xerxes also has a cape, but it's like it's barely doing anything. You see those hints of it behind his rippling abs. The suggestion of a cape. So you're saying you think Dracula though?

I think it's probably gotta be Dracula. That's probably fair. I lean that way too, I know it was my suggestion, but like, that's just the one that came to my mind. Pennywise came to mind, Dracula came to my mind. People wouldn't be too upset. Can I just throw this out? I think this is a bad one, but I can't get it out of my head.

I like the way in general that Chucky is dressed, but Not in that it's like stylish or anything, but just that it's like. It's iconic. Effective and iconic. Cause it's like, it's just little kids clothes basically, right? But it's creepy because of what it is and because it's so iconic.

But I don't think that's really what we're looking for. I just, the whole time my brain was like, say Chucky, say Chucky. No, that's a good one. I would agree with Joker again. It's not, is it a great outfit? No, but like it's iconic. This is movie villains, right?

This isn't like who's best dressed at the prom. This is who's best dressed a movie villain. So that's true. Dracula is good though. I think Dracula just makes sense. Plus funny voice. Would bang would like we wood bang? Yeah.

We're good at hitting wood. Most bangable villain or monster. Sigh. I know who Mark picks. Who? Oh. laughs I think the practicalness of that would make it difficult. So not technically most bangable I guess um not

with that attitude you know nah not really pre or post transformation post for sure hands down hands down way down I don't even think that would be my answer alien Queen final answer from aliens. Xenomorph Queen. Xenomorph. No, I don't think that either. Um. You said final answer. I don't know. Oh shit. You locked in the answer. So sorry Mark, but you did say lock it in.

Oh shit. Uh. Oh, uh, it's not horror though. Can I just say though Angelina Jolie as Maleficent? Sure. That's true. Or Angelina Jolie as Maleficent? Sure. That's true. Or Angelina Jolie as that Beowulf monster thing. Or Angelina Jolie.

I don't think she's a horror anyway. Just Maleficent in general, the vibe. I would say that's very in the same ballpark as Lady Dimitrescu. The vibe is just very like she would step on me or something, you know? Like, it's intimidating. So our three contenders are Xenomorph Queen, as proposed by Mark. Maleficent, played by Angelina Jolie specifically,

and I threw Lady D on there for Mark. There is Beowulf Angelina Jolie, but that's a whole different thing because I think, like some demon monster, but the whole point of that character is to tempt the people that try to kill her But also she could probably kill them, but I don't know I already locked in my answer You did you said final answer locked it like you really tied all of our hands I'll toss another one I thought of in there was it still Natasha Henstridge and species

She was like her whole thing was going in like, tempting men and then- Oh, some like, robo lady? We're being robo. All right, so yeah, this is just a, this is an alternate universe version of the Xenomorph alien, cause this seems HR Giger and so on. Well that's after she like, transformed.

She walks around and just looks like- Oh, there's nipples! Oh! What the fuck is this? Ooh! Bob, who do you think between Angelina Jolie as either Maleficent or Beowulf? Lady Demetresque or the Xenomorph Queen? Wha-what a list

I know The Beowulf character seems too obvious almost I guess It's a little on the nose It's just Angelina Jolie mostly naked I kinda get where you're coming from with the Xenomorph Queen Thank you I'm not gonna count that out. You know what for our audience. I'll just say it's lady D. We'll move on See, I wouldn't agree with that. I wouldn't agree with that. I think I get what Bob saying but isn't the Melissa Vincent movie?

I haven't seen it, but doesn't it kind of like make her not the villain? I haven't seen it either I don't know. I just assumed it would be some kind of like, here's my tragic backstory. Oh Wait, well this doesn't really count. Can I throw in an honorable mention? Sure Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters cuz she gets possessed by Zul. She's the gatekeeper. Sure. In that moment. Yeah, that's a good one. But she's not she's not like a villain. She's not really the villain. Yeah. But she's like the embodiment of the villain and like Sigourney Weaver.

Yeah. Fair enough. All right. Let's move on to the next award. Most derisive villain. Ginger Deadman. I got it in first. Final answer locked in.

He's right. Just yes. Yes. Yes. I don't even have another answer. He's right I submit ginger dead man from ginger dead man versus evil bong specifically Oh, okay, very derisive in that movie I think he actually got less dress it because he had someone to sympathize with in that case I'll give it to ginger dead man. I think that's the right call. Yeah, and less

What what's the insult comic dog's name uh what is it uh what's his name triumph unless triumph the insult comic dog is a villain in some context that i'm unaware of then maybe i'm in with a chance here huh not really villain though good argument but i think just Ginger Dead Man unfortunately ran away with this award. Yeah, fair enough. All right. Let's go with this is a play on Mr. Irrelevant which is like the last draft pick in the NFL draft. We're gonna have Mr. Slash Miss Irrelevant which is an award that goes to the worst villain. Oh. Just the absolute worst. Tragically bad, sad, probably doesn't stand a chance. just like you know what

this is to you for being in last place the bye-bye man i don't know i've never seen the movie but i'm just gonna go with that on gut instinct alone what is this now i've never seen it but there's a movie called the bye-bye man it's all part of the same genre of movies where it's like oh don't look at the thing oh don't think about the thing. Oh, the things coming to get you. You can't stop that thing. It's one of those things. Mm. Is the bye bye man just Jared Leto's Joker? Yes. Let's go with yes.

Speaking of Jared Leto's Joker. Oh, wait, I've got mine for this. So this is tough because in the right context is absolutely not an irrelevant one. But in general, can I just say zombies? There's like, what's that Brad Pitt movie? Like World War Z zombies where they like fast and they climb the huge thing. But like it by and large zombies kind of are more like shot of the dead zombies where you can literally just walk quickly past them. And it's like, they do pose a threat,

but more so if you're stupid then because they pose a serious threat to you. Is it a problem? Yeah. No, that's fair. Using only biting and grabbing attacks. If you get high enough AC, they can't touch you. That's what I was thinking.

So let's go bye-bye man versus zombies. I think, yeah, if you think of zombies as a whole, I guess yeah, zombies makes a lot of sense. I feel like zombies is one of the only villains where you'd be like, yeah, they're a villain, but also there's a lot of zombie stuff where there also needs to be another villain or else there's no story happening.

They're not enough of a villain on their own. They're just like a side issue in the thing, in the story. Yeah, for sure. All right, I think we agree then, zombies are the irrelevant villains. in the thing in the story. Yeah for sure. Alright I think we agree then zombies are the irrelevant villains. Let's go with Lady Killer the best lady female monster or killer or villain. Xenomorph Queen lock it in. God damn it!

God damn it! Some I think of Exorcist girl, Linda Blair's Exorcist. The Ring Girl would also qualify. Samara? Samara, yeah. Carrie? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Is Godzilla canonically female?

I don't know. Godzilla is described explicitly as male according to Wikipedia. I will say, destroys entire cities just because we woke him up. Pretty manly behavior. Wasn't there like an egg plot point in one of the movies or was that just like the American one that no one really likes?

I'm not sure. These are good questions, I don't have the answers to. What's the one where the girl's like dating the guy and her family's trying to like- Oh, get out? Get out, yeah, the lady from that. The villain in that family is like the whole family, or in that movie is like the whole family though, isn't it?

Yeah, she's pretty bad. Yeah, but it's like her mom does the hypnotizing and her dad and it's like all of them. Yeah, they're all bad. That's fair. Natasha Hinstridge and Species, again, I would argue she's pretty terrifying. And man, I think it's got gotta be the Xenomorph Queen. God damn it, I should have. Fuck it. Got him.

If you guys agree, how do I argue? The You Were Right Award for killing the victim who most deserved to die. God, we hated that person and we were so glad to see the villain kill them. So it's a villain killing someone else. Yeah, it's like someone that's like so stupid or so evil or just so blah that whenever they got killed by the overall monster or killer or whatever,

we were just like, honestly, fair. See, this requires a little bit more knowledge. Yeah. I'm trying to think of specific times when a villain killed someone who was also a secondary villain in the story. I mean, in the movie Carrie, the boldies at the end get killed. Fair, fair. They deserved it. I don't know if this counts as a horror movie. I think it was scary as a kid, but it's like a movie I love now and don't really think

of it as scary. But fucking Dennis Nedry in Jurassic Park man he fucked up everything he ruined that park so I never got to go see it that's a good point yeah he ruined a lot of things yeah I don't know if this is probably in one of the many movies what about Jason Voorhees originally killing his mom he kills his mom because her neglect led to him drowning and becoming What he is right comes back and kills her. That's the general I mean the counselors killed him but like I think she forced it to be there or something Yeah, there was a whole thing and then she's like the voice in his head is always like Jason get up kill them

Yeah, yeah, okay Jason's mom. I think she's a villain who deserved it I don't remember her death. Does she die at the end of the first one? Yes, I believe so. I don't know where that is in the things because I don't watch those movies, but that's his lore. Also, I guess if he counts, isn't one of the Riddler iterations, the Jim Carrey one, doesn't he kill a bunch of like, douchebag elites? Oh man. I've not seen that movie since I was a kid. I don't remember. Meh.

You know what? You brought up Hannibal earlier. His therapist. The doctor at the end of the movie is like, I'm having an old friend for dinner and it shows him like on the run. Chilton? Dr. Chilton? That's not gonna ring any bells for me. No, I got nothing. You guys not seen the movie, Sons of the Lambs? No, I'm gonna put him on here. I think he deserved it. Apparently the Riddler I'm thinking of was much older Paul Dano's Riddler in the Matt Reeves the Batman and he killed a bunch of corrupt Gotham like politicians and people who were twisting running the city and stuff. Yeah, no I don't want to commit to that one.

I think that's all we're gonna get for this one. It's just such a specific category. Okay, I'm gonna go with the ones I've got written down here. Jason's mom, which I don't know exactly how she dies, but I wrote it down. The Dilophosaurus who killed Dennis Nedry in Jurassic Park, and Dr. Chilton, after being a real dick to Clarice and Hannibal

all throughout finally gets his comeuppance at the end of the film off screen, but we know it's coming. I think the Jurassic Park one makes a lot of sense. I like that one. That guy was villainous, an asshole, no one liked him, and the dinosaurs were, you know, the human element being what it is,

but the dinosaurs were definitely like the bads in the movie, not that they were bad, but just like they were out to get people they were the problems they were just trying to live and Dennis cut them loose and they did what they do you know it was all Dennis's fault yeah it's really his fault all right villain with the best one-liner oh man dr. freeze final answer locked in oh I have another Arnold character but I was gonna have a whole discussion about it Which one-liner do you have to pick one because he has like everything he says as a one-liner

Man, this is gonna call me out because I don't remember most of them. Well, there's one specifically ice to meet you Yeah, ice to meet you is the this the one but chill out, you know, I gotta throw out a bonus one here I play party animals on YouTube I've been recording a series of it and in party animals there's this little ice gun you can pick up and like you shoot it and it freezes people they can like slide off and Die and every time I get that gun every time I pull the trigger. It's it's going to be a cold winter It's gonna be a cold winter All right, well so another Arnold character. It's fair to say in the first Terminator movie,

the Terminator is the villain. Yes, absolutely. And I would argue that I'll Be Back is possibly one of the most iconic movie lines of all time. But it's up there with the Mr. Freeze. Doctor, what's doctor? Is he a doctor? Dr. Freeze, doctor. I used to meet you.

I gotta say Mark, I love Dr. Freeze, but the Terminator is like one of Arnold's most iconic roles. Everyone loves it. That Batman movie did not go over too well. What? No, that was a great movie. What do you mean? It was fun, but man is that not like the Batman movie people think of when they're like best bat- you think of like best Arnold roles? Terminator, like Predator are definitely up

there along with some of his other action movies. I don't know that Dr. Freeze comes up. Was that the one where he had nipples on the bat suit? It might have been. Yeah it was, wasn't it? It's also one with what? Bane, who was like a scrawny guy who got pumped up. Uma Thurman's Poison Ivy.

No, that's an iconic one. It sure is, isn't it? Like I said, the lady frees when I pulled her plug. This is a one woman show. I don't remember that. I don't think I've ever actually watched them. I'm gonna be honest. I think I gotta give it to Terminator, man. Okay, Terminator, yeah. His hands down, no question.

Also talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger, it comes from a story that Bill Hader tells but in the movie Collateral Damage, there's a scene where Schwarzenegger has an important line. There's a room with like a locked door and he just like out of nowhere while they're trying to get in, it's just like, there's a bomb in there and it's just the fucking funniest one line ever it lives in my head forever but Bill Hader tells a story because apparently Bill Hader was like a PA on the set for that or something we got time for one or two more this should be a quick one the most moist villain the wettest villain and xen Xenomorph Queen Son of a bitch

I can beat that I can beat that Come on. Yeah, what's wetter than that? He's technically a villain even though he's not in the evil League of Eagle Dr. Horrible sing-along blog a dr Horrible's roommate and good friend played by the actor who plays Howard Wolowitz on Big Bang Theory is a villain by the name of Moist whose villainous powers primarily involve making things moist. Oh apparently it has a whole backstory. Moist was a regular boy he actually had kind of dry skin and it was an issue at six years old his father came home with a plutonium powered

humidifier in an attempt to make his skin not so dry and cracked. The plutonium powered humidifier worked a bit too well to the point where it altered his DNA and he is now forever in a constant state of moistness. It's pretty moist. That does sound fairly moist, you know, I'm going to give it that. All right, very liquidy. I'm going to throw in the shark from Jaws pretty much always wet. That's a good one I feel like sharks have probably pretty like waterproof skin because they don't want the water getting in. It's not wet as skin it's just most moist. I would say with the Xenomorph Queen you have the benefit of she exudes moisture. They are slimy and they've got the acidy blood.

They're very drippy wet. There's a lot of goops. All right, the thing. There's a lot of moisture going on there. Kinda. It's mostly the moisture spilling out of the thing's thing. You know, pretty drippy. There's a lot of drips.

It looks juicy. All the parts smashed all together. There's a lot of shiny goopiness going on. But juicier than the Xenomorph Queen. Well, arguably. Not that good of an argument. I think what we're discovering is the Xenomorph Queen sweeps all categories. You know, I think I got to give it to Xenomorph Queen. I hate it.

I'm not even mad. That's pretty fair. Maybe one more here. You know what? Actually, I've got two more, I think. I'm going to do them. We'll wrap it up. Most iconic weapon. Hmm. I'm going to count this as a weapon in the arsenal. Can it be Predator's heat vision and just the aesthetic of those shots? Because I feel like the heat vision shots from the from all of the movies are just like, you know what that is.

Yeah, the heat vision is pretty iconic. That's a great answer. Fuck. Yeah yeah cuz like Jason's machete is whatever Freddy cougars fingers or whatever those are iconic weapons I find it boring it's just it's a big knife I think that wins I can't think of a way I I'm gonna throw in xenomorph Queens babies the face hugg? I have a competing answer. Ginger Dead Man's nine millimeter handgun. What kind of villain doesn't have a handgun, you know? Well, it is a weapon. Two-Face's coin.

It's kind of icon. Nah, that's not it. I feel like Two-Face and Dr. Freeze are less horror-esque. I mean, it's pretty gruesome. Two-Face is pretty gruesome, but I don't know. A lot of them, like you said, are kind of like the machete that Michael and Jason use, the knife that Ghost Face uses. Maybe Independence Day Aliens City Blaster Cannon.

Oh, nah. Sounds like we're just gonna give it to Predator Heat Vision. They eat so much hair these days. God. What about the guns that make heads explode that the Martians have in Martians? Don't know if they're quite as iconic. That's a pretty niche movie but... Mars Attacks is kind of niche. Oh yeah, Mars Attacks. I called it Martians. Mars Attacks. That movie legitimately scared me so much I couldn't watch it. When it came out when I was a kid I hated it. It was too scary. I don't know if you guys will think this is too similar to the other ones

But like the shining the axe through the door the axe is still like the machete and the knife, right? But that is very iconic still good. But alright, we'll give it to predator last one with no particular Reasoning behind it who is the MVK the most valuable killer? Mmm. Now all these awards, I gotta say, Xenomorph Queen has been up there in a lot of these categories. She doesn't do the killing though. Yeah, she's really more of a background. That's fair.

Like what villain would the villains want on their team? Is it a numbers game? Because like Pinhead has a pretty high kill count overall, right? Like a couple hundred at least, right? I think. I think Pinhead's problem is even villains would probably be scared of Pinhead. Be like, I don't know if I want that guy on my team. That makes them even more horrifying, right? But this is that most valuable killer to others, right? In general, most valuable. We kind of put the two other killers. Yeah, if we're going with the best, then you know, it's a different story.

Most valuable for whatever that means. So Pinhead could be a contender at least. We can put Pinhead on the list. Ginger Dead Man is very derisive. Very derisive, which is a tough way to die. I mean, Freddy literally kills you in your sleep. That's hard to get around. Like, that's a pretty cool power. Xenomorphs in general can survive basically anything other than enough bullets.

Doc Ock could be really good for people on their team because he's smart. See a horror movie coming that guess he's. Okay, come on man, I'm trying. All right, Doc Ock. Yeah, we're all struggling here and I'm thrashing guys. And boom, boom, boom, fuck you, man. Doctor Octopus, okay, Octavius.

Well, so what about tremors? Oh, like the worm that's evolved? They're not like a flashy, like leading the charge, but like if you have the tremors on your team, you just control all of the ground. Like that's tough. And they're very scary and intimidating because they're underground worm thing, whatever the hell they're called. I think I actually would put it for Jason Voorhees because he may not get the most

kills, but you can count. He's going to get that kill. Like he's going to go wherever it's a, he went to space, he got frozen. He can die. He'll come right back and he's going to be consistent. His performance can be predictable. If you just tell him that they're a camp counselor or they're having sex in that cabin, I'm gonna stop, he's gonna take care of it. Problem will be solved, just takes time.

So I'd say like that's who, if I was a villain, I'd be like, that's who I want on my team, because I just point, they do, I don't have to mind him, he just does his thing. So you think between Freddy, Jason Michael Myers Jason would win for sure not it's not even necessarily that he would win he is the most consistent high performing high kill ratio and also impossible to stop he's got that iconic thing going for him too it's the relentlessness thing that really amps it

up for him too right like there's he's not fast but he's the relentlessness thing that really amps it up for him too, right? Like there's he's not fast, but he's the snail that chases you anywhere on the globe Like you can't actually get rid of him And so you even if you are also a powerful villain or whatever is happening Like you feel like you can't be him at some point because he's just indomitable. Yeah. All right, let me go through our awards Well done everyone. Thank you all for participating. There's a few awards that we didn't get to, but that's okay. We have awards for most moist xenomorph queen over Dr. Horrible's roommate moist and the Jaws shark.

We have most derisive going to the ginger dead man. Most likely to succeed Hannibal over war of the world. Best dressed with Dracula over Dr. Frankenstein and Xerxes. A wood bang. I gave it to Lady D over the Xenomorph Queen and Angelina Jolie and everything. Mr. Miserelevant goes to the zombies over the Bye Bye Man. The You Were Right, victim who deserved to die the most and got it, Dialo

who killed Dennis Nedry, winning over Jason's mom dying and Dr. Chilton dying. Most valuable killer went to Jason Voorhees. Best lady killer, Xenomorph Queen. Best one-liner, Terminator I'll Be Back. Most iconic weapon, Predator Heat Vision. Best smile went to Pennywise. I'm gonna go through the points for you two. Bob, you got points for, real answer, woodworking, you won't, grommet.

I think this says Hannibal Angelina Jolie Xeno Queen zombies predator heat vision Terminator mark you got points for movie but lenses the lost lens Ryobi days no license Or something. Oh, you didn't have a license for I don't know the software licenses. Oh, right Yeah, I don't know what the word as I wrote Bob loves this talk ginger dead pennywise

Xenomorph Queen Jason I have Wade minus one point for something Wade minus one point for keifer thutherland Capitalism the real winner. But tabulating the points, Bob, you finished with ten. Mark, you finished with... eleven points. GEEEWARF QUEEN! And how many did he lose? Oh, I didn't take away any points for lenses because of the movie connection. Am I required by our bylaws to remove points for lenses? That was never a bylaw! It was really more of a constitutional amendment.

I don't even think it was an amendment! Who brought up lenses? Was it Mark or Bob? Which one of you brought up lenses originally? Mark? I don't remember. No, I think it was Bob. I think the record will show that it was Bob. I think it's recorded on video that Mark did that. Bob, did you ask specifically about lenses? I encourage you to talk about lenses, but I think you brought it up first.

You did, but we always do that. I can't really deduct points from you for that. I have a proposition. If you were going to take away one point for Mark talking about lenses, I say don't do that. But if you're going to take away two points for Mark talking about lenses. Now, that wouldn't be fair at all. That wouldn't be fair.

It's either one or nothing. I think that's what we got to say. I don't disagree with that I just don't want him to take one point away from you so I have to spin the goddamn wheel I if that is what it is and that's what fair is but having two points that would just be flagrant and it would be Mark's right. It should be one or three Yeah, it's either we we take this wheel and fairness or we don't deduct points at all and fairness I think wait's getting a wheel ready. Oh, oh wait. No, hold on

I do not have the wheel ready at the moment I was counting I thought maybe the tiebreaker would be whoever submitted the most movie Monsters that actually won could be the tiebreaker if it was tied, but if you guys would rather have wheel Oh, no, feel free to Inject your own version of not the wheel. Mark, how do you feel? Wheel or whoever had the most wins

in the different categories? Well, I feel like we're not tied at all because lens talk should not be a deduction. Oh, I see. Bob, what do you think? I'm just waiting to hear the resolution. We've had a little bit of a break from lenses. I'll give Mark a lens break today.

You know, the lens rule came into place because we were hearing about them every single day, but to permanently penalize them feels a little bit harsh. He's lost a lot of points for it over the course of the last few months. But I have. Year, year, it's been a year. I think I will give him a break today.

It's been a year. We had a lot of good stuff. It's been like five years, hasn't it? It feels like we've been talking about lenses since I was eight years old. Yeah, you are 13 now. Yeah. With the family. I'm grown. Yeah, Mark, you win.

You know what? You win. What should I talk? It was a tough, well-thought battle. We gave out some good awards. You two fighting to give the Xenomorph Queen a lot of different awards. I enjoyed that. Danger Dead Man, I thought would come up more, didn't, but you know, that's fair. He won his category and that's where he belongs.

He did. Uh, Bob, do you have a loser's speech? In my head, I won. Because in my head, I follow the rules. And we have rules. And they mean nothing. But we do have them, so in my head, I follow them. Congratulations to me, the true winner of today's episode. Thank you. Wade clapped, that means he endorses me as the winner. I'll just say that's true. Mark, do you have a winner speech? I humbly accept this, as humbly as I can, which is not very humbly because of how great I am. I love myself and I love my ham. Go go team, beat the Rams. Hey, you do know stuff about sports to all non Rams fans

There you have it if you haven't already make sure you go follow mark at markiplier Bob at my skirt me at million Seven seven or Lord million seven seven mark will be hosted the next episode appreciate you Hope you all have a good fun Halloween though. I think we'll have more episodes before then I don't know what day it is it could be the end of October right now or the beginning I have no idea the concept of time. We have merch distractable store comm and I guess we'll see in the next one until then I'm cast out