Distractible - Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)

Episode Date: November 22, 2024

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Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Destructible. This episode, Wayne Scott and Wade hates rubbing, plugs iron lung, and rolls crits for his RPG. Mailable Mark gets hard for big drives, coops the Kuiper, and gets his Galadriel on with penthouse piggies. Benaustic Bob plays Ace Ventura, sucks moons, ends the earth, and weaponizes diarrhea. From clown cars to killing a farmer's family. Heheheheh. It's time for, Nah, I'd Will, Part 2. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractable. I'm today's host, Wade, joined as always by my friends and co-hosts Mark and Bob.

Hey boys. Hello. Fucking Ubuntu. To our listeners, Bob saluted. That was just for the watchers, I was not acknowledging the listeners. Don't talk to them. Alright. Anyway, welcome to the show where one person hosts and the hosted to compete for points whoever has the most points at the end

gets to host the next episode. The games vary the points are always consistent. I forgot to get my pad and paper to write them down but I've got it now so thankfully no points would have been awarded at this point anyway. But how are you guys doing? Pretty good, pretty good. I'm typing in bullshit is how it's going. You think this episode's bullshit? I haven't even started yet. I'm typing in bullshit is how it's going. You think this episode's bullshit? I haven't even started yet. I'm typing bullshit. Can't you copy and paste bullshit? Oh, waiting for cash lock.

Could not get lock slash var slash lib slash donkey package slash lock front end. It is held by process 8569. Last episode was the election episode, Mark. We don't need more donkey talk. We don't need to talk about the donkey libs right now. What about the elephant libs? What about the donkey conservatives? Lib free or hee-haw.

I'm glad you enjoy yourself so much, buddy. I really do. You didn't even wait to see if anyone thought that was funny. You knew it was funny. I find me hilarious. Did I tell you guys about the the loaner car that I had recently? I don't think I did. It's not that funny of a story but as a large person this happens to me a lot. I don't fit in things but I can find a way to like work around it. I don't fit in the

booth at the restaurant but I'm like can we just get a table or whatever like these things happen. Recently my car had to go in and the dealership it's's like warranty work, so they gave me a car for free. They were like, here, just take one of these, drive this around and we'll give you a car back tonight or tomorrow, whatever. But nice and I appreciated it. And when I got to the, I was just dropping the car off and I was talking to the service department guy

and then he handed me off to the guy who was gonna get me the car. And he sort of looked me up and down and was like, hey, what's up, how you doing, sir? the car and he was he like sort of looked me up and down it was like hey what's up how you doing sir so we only have coupes available for the loaner cars right like two-door like small cars and I was like oh that's fine man we had our other car you know is a family car too so like I don't need to put the baby seat in it or anything that's fine he's like yeah yeah it

should be fine it'll be fine can I see your driver's license and like it was just a weird vibe I got to the car outside Okay, the guy gave me the keys and walked away and I went to get in it and I don't know if anyone else who's not Like a very large person can relate to this But I had that moment where I was like I'll just slide in and I didn't get past my like Ribs, I was trying to slide into this car. I went to sit down. It was literally like oh ribs. I was trying to slide into this car and I went to sit down and it was literally like oh all right all right hang on maybe the seat's not all the way back maybe the steering wheel is not up it was everything was as up and back and out as it could get and so I and I this was my car

for at least the day and getting in is honestly not the hard part like I I had to sort of look at it and angle my body but it's like you can you can have that moment where you're just like whoosh and you slide in and it was fine. It was very comfortable to drive. But when that's how you get into something, getting out of it is usually horrific. And I like drove all the way home, parked in the driveway. It must have looked like the scene from Ace Ventura where it gets birthed out of the Rhino. Like I started trying to

get out of the car and I was just like pulling, but I ended up on my back laying next to the car in the driveway naked naked cause my clothes peeled off. That's fine. I don't know if my neighbor saw me. They probably didn't. They're not. It's fine. The last thing that had to happen between me and this car was I had to drive it to the dealer and drop it off to get my car back and the way they were like when you bring it back just pull into the service garage to the inside part and drop it off. I didn't think this all the way through until I got there but where I had to drop the car off there was a full two-story wall of windows into the main showroom of the dealership where every single salesperson and customer and every human in the entire building was looking out from their offices and desks at these windows. And then I parked this tiny car in there and proceed to do the fat guy dance of what and like and also the service person who was like dealing with my car, I pull in and he's like, hey, that's Mr. Myskins. He starts walking towards me.

So the guy I've already talked to is walking towards me 20 feet away. And the entire rest of everyone is like, ooh, a red car pulled in. And then I have to do the exact same dance of like, I end up like laying on the ground. And it's like, the guy is standing over me and he's he's so bribed at the ground and it's like the guy is standing over me and he's he's surprised at the vehicle and to shake my hand and I'm like I'm laying on the ground and I do that thing where you just like pop up like nothing happened close the door but I'm like sweaty like I pop out of like hey good to see you yeah like god like it's I

don't know how relatable that is for anyone who's not just like, I'm very tall, I'm also a very big guy, fat guy, like it's fine. But man, did that suck. I don't know if you saw, but I was in the safari car that pulled up with the family there and we were watching you. You really did a good impression with no hands going ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, The car door. It was really impressive and quite a show. I think everyone learned something that day. With no birth canal to really help me put on the performance, I kind of feel like I got there on my own very effectively.

I don't know where you conjured up all the fluids that came out, but you were very, very moist on the way out and it was... It came from me. It was mostly sweat. Okay, cool. All right, mostly? All right, cool. That's awesome. I need no more. No more? Well, it helps in that situation. If you piss your pants, sometimes it'll help you squeeze the last pack of out. Anyway, that was just, that's stuck in my mind forever. Now is the most recent thing where me being a very large person created a great scenario that didn't at all embarrass me for the rest of the week.

And that was two weeks ago actually now. So it's clearly still, I'm not holding onto that. We are tall people. You are taller than me by a little bit, but we are tall people You heard it everyone you heard it it blows my mind that like cars and plane seats and everything else Just are not made to accommodate anything other than like perfectly average I get why planes and stuff are like that. No. The motivation for that is not complicated. It's money.

No. They can want to put the maximum number of seats and whatever in so they can sell them at, but you're right, why a car like that? It's not like there wasn't physically space in the car for it to have been designed in a way where it would have been more accommodating to a really tall person. It just wasn't. Apparently Germans are not very tall because it was a,

this was a BMW that I got into. So. The Germans are definitely not known for being huge. There are people taller than us and sure, some of them are athletes, like basketball players, but some of them are just normal people who are fucking freakishly tall. What do you do if you're seven foot two and you need a car? Drive a Hummer, something, I don't know. It upsets me.

As a bald and tall person, I feel very, very upset at this. What does bald have to do with it? You hit your head on the ceiling, there's no protection, it's just like. Oh, I assumed you'd have less friction with your shiny, shiny head. Whenever you do make contact with no hair,

you better hope it's like a really soft, thing that you're hitting because if it's like sand papery it's not pleasant. It's part of the reason why we have hair on certain spots in our body. Not the full reason, but we have hair in places that encounter a lot of rubbing. And impacts. 30 minutes of rubbing? At least. More like 32 minutes of rubbing. Come on, man. Also, Mark, I did not take away a point from you, but I wanted to. You were here and you saw Bob in the car, but you didn't say hi to either one of us while you were in Ohio. He was on safari with the family. Come on. I can't make them stop. It's dangerous. Mark got in the safari truck at the Los Angeles saf Terminal and he gets off when they let him off.

That's how those things work. We went through Elon's California to Ohio tunnel that only safari Tesla Safari users can go in and I don't control it. All right. Well, I didn't take away a point. I didn't. I just wanted to let you know. Unfortunate situation. Good story. Well told as always. I'm sure someone who saw that had quite the funny laugh at it, so like I hope they appreciated it, because at least a good thing came out of it. I mean at least you got your car back and it was only what two or three times in the rental? I'll leave, I honestly only drove it other than to the from the dealership home and back to the dealership. I drove it one other place, probably could have just gotten an Uber. They wanted to

give me one so I was like I'll take a free car. What could go wrong? Meanwhile, I can't get one even when I ask for one. Maybe you just have to go to the right places. Mark, what's new with you? So a few things are new. Just kidding. It's the same bullshit it's always been, except I'm slavering. I'm slavering. What is the term? Slavering? Slavering isn't the term? Slavering. Sla- I'm not sure what word you're trying to say.

You're letting saliva run from your mouth? Show excessive desire. I'm slavering. Sla- slavering? Slavering. Slavering? Drooling? Slavering. S-L-A-V-E-R. Huh! I don't know this word. Over this the latest development in hard drive technology. I've looped fully back We're back, baby. Oh, we're back to hard drives. It's 2022 again. Hard drives, hard drives 122 terabytes. Hey, that's almost exactly double the one you were excited about I have many of those but is this like an M2 SSD or is this a spinny diskey kind? It's obviously an NVMe drive bro a little bit bigger thicker than this one Which is another NVMe drive and it'll never focus

I don't know why I leaned back and tried to focus thinking that would fix it. Oh, man. I know how to fix this It's not working that usually works. Yeah, so it's a little thicker than this one. This is a 16 terabyte. Why 122? Why not stop at 120 or go to 130? 122 is so random. Because of how math works for bits on computers, not random. There's a mathematical reason for it. 500 gigabyte, one terabyte, two terabytes, six terabyte, eight terabyte, 122? Computers don't work on the metric system calm down 122 ah why always when we're recording do you talk to me alexa sorry sorry i don't know if you could hear that i always think it's like bandy or something coming in and you're just like screaming

it every time makes my soul leave my body i don't even know why it's not that scary it's just a lady's voice. That is scary. Anyway big hard drive Mark. It means that if I were to match that in size it would need six more of these which are 16 terabyte ones all in one drive. I forget is that big enough so that all of your uh iron lung stuff would basically fit on one drive? It would it would it would absolutely. That would be very convenient. Big drive, small movie, you decide. Big drive. Yeah, I don't think it's a small movie. They didn't work on it very much. Oh, is that a Bobby Boucher point? You know, the water boy. I've not seen that since what was it, the 90s when it came out? It's like the sound he makes when he footballs. I haven't seen it at all.

I've been also working on the render farm and I know I've disparaged Linux users before, and I will continue to do so! It doesn't make a goddamn bit of sense, you open source bastards! I hate it! I can't even log into my NAS from you boon-to. I tried to install fedora and it blew up on installation. Marinder? Pretty much.

And then I installed fedora's server client and I after the full installation process I'm greeted with a DOS command prompt And I'm like I left this behind in 1994, my commander. So yeah, I'm doing that because the alternative is Windows Server and I don't know if you know how much Windows Server costs, but it can cost upwards of $7,000 per license. Per, do you need a license per machine that's on it? So you don't necessarily need that one and I don't know if that includes multiple

licenses for multiple computers but it's like with servers I have many small versions of it and I don't know what I don't know any of it but I know that Linux is free so I don't have to deal with that but also it's good it's Dracula I love count Dracula I auditioned for the movie. You think if we get in blue It's like a Christopher Nolan Dracula or going for dark and gritty Dracula's been through a lot and whenever you're ready Terran Lido as Dracula. Sorry Jared, I know you're a big watcher. Not bad. He's sitting by the phone waiting for that callback to decide to turn on our podcast

just to kill the time. They get my audition. Anyway, good small talk. Good small talk. I bet you won't have a ton of people in the subreddit telling you how good Linux is now that you've brought that up, Mark. I bet that won't happen at all. I'm sure it won't have a ton of people in the subreddit telling you how good Linux is now that you've brought that up, Mark. I bet that won't happen at all. I'm sure it won't happen.

I saw a new picture of the moon. There's some good moon there. Speaking of the moon, it's so funny because I made it, you know, I got testy with my own subreddit because they deserved it. And so I made a joke. I made that one comment, then I made another comment that was kind of forgotten next to it. People were like, why do you keep promoting it? I'm like, I will become your A James McCarthy. I will show you my moon.

And people are really sick of like, but now they understand. Now they relate. They relate to why I found that. Cause it's like, she pops up so much and you're just like, Tie fighter noises. I know. I feel it. Mark's become what he hates most You are the moon photos in the night Have you guys heard of iron lung and or edge of sleep watch one of them now the other sometime I'm giving myself a point for promotion promotion point. I can't get over that mark just threw out Slaver slaver like that's a word and it is a word, but I've never heard that word in my life I know lots of words. I know the best words and I had never heard that word. I hadn't either.

That was a, you know what, Mark? You should get so many points for slavering. How do I write this? I don't really want to write this as a slaver point. Slavering to slather over or slaver or slavering point. There you go. I put it slavering because I just, I don't want to read it wrong later and be very confused.

I think the spelling is the same isn't it? Yeah kind of weird Guys we got a new an original game to play today as you may already know by the title or not You two don't but everyone else nah, I'd win part two, which is an original concept. That's never been done before I remember when you did that the first time Yeah, we don't really consistently have people host their own sequels concept that's never been done before. I remember when you did that the first time. Wait, oh. Yeah, we don't really consistently have people host their own sequels. I don't know if you all remember Weird, but I'm still a little bit bitter about my Weirds Part 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.

I still think you were too... you complained so much that we weren't engaging, and Mark and I engaged the shit out of Weird. Yeah, I can't complain anymore. The subreddit also beat that out of me, so... We were unbelievably engaged, unstoppable, engaged to the same extent that the ginger dead man is derisive. We were engaged. You did something. I got a dice. I think I've showed this off before. It's a very big dice. Is it fair? It is fair. Prove it. Roll a 20. Prove it's fair.

Oh my God. Hold on. It actually rolled a 20. No way. It's so fair. Prove it. Roll a 20, prove it's fair. Oh my God, hold on, it actually rolled a 20. No way, it's so fair. I don't believe you. Can you guys see my phone? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just took this photo, can you see? Oh! Holy shit, that is very fair.

The fairest thing that's ever happened possibly. I'll probably roll it on the table instead of the floor moving forward because it kind of went farther away than I wanted. Yeah, I know, I was thinking that would be really inconvenient if you rolled it on the floor every time. So I've got some scenarios set up here. You guys know how this game works.

We played it. Basically you're put in the position of something that is, what was the last time, there was a mouse facing a cat and the mouse had to overcome long odds to defeat the cat. And you guys would give me, what was it like, one scenario or one sentence? We each got one action at a time. So we're going to continue that, it's one action or one sentence, one action that you

get to perform and if that's good enough to win the dice will tell us. And then I think as it went along you got bonuses too, right? The first one was zero, then the next one gets a plus one, so you only need a 19 and so on and so forth is that correct some like that i mean to your game you should remember the rules yeah wade yeah yeah well first person gets a plus zero second gets a plus one so on and so forth so you need less and less to win but what if we say something that you know might not actually help us but we're being funny about it well then the dice will tell us if that funny is real or not. This is out of my hands. This is up to you and the dice gods. I wasn't talking about the dice, I was talking about the bonus points. You've already got some of those. Yeah Mark, I think he hears you. I think he understands. Okay good, he hears me loud and clear. I understand.

You might earn bonus points along the way but that's between me and my gods, the S's in parentheses. Oh, how does that change it? I don't know. So anyway, who wants to go first? Well, Mark, I think I went first last time. So I'll let you go first this time. Interesting, because I'm pretty sure I was a competitor last time.

No, this is your game. This is apparently your game. I don't think I made that claim. I think you made that claim. I didn't make that claim. Well, you were talking about how last time us guys were doing things and doing intros. Clearly... Wee, comrade. Wee?

Which is the subreddit's favorite joke. They do love that. Your first scenario, Mark, you're up first as bespoken by Bob. I know you're slavering to go, so let's get to it. I have a splinter. Ow! Well, that's very fitting. You should probably clean that out, Mark, because... You are a bacteria inside a human body and the blood cells are coming. How will you defeat them? Fascinating. Okay, can I ask a question about the context?

I think I know where you're going with this and I'm excited about your question. Where in the body am I? You go first, you get to set the scene, we'll play it from there. I'm already in the body? You're already inside. The white blood cells are on the way. Where is Osmosis Jones in relation to us?

Yeah, how far is Osmosis Jones and how rapidly is he approaching our location? On an old Disney movie at this point away? Okay, interesting answer you get to decide man. This is your scenario. I laid the groundwork Alright, so I'm swirling around the circulatory system And my objective is to kill this body, right? Yes, and I remember one more one more thing here I think each of you has to repeat what the previous person said as part of the story. Oh Interesting not only think I know that for a fact

Therefore that is part of this so I'm swirling around the circulatory system I know that they don't know where I am, but also Unfortunately, I don't know where I am So I'm going to stay but I do know that eventually I'll make it back to the heart and When I get back to the heart I am going to try to grab on to the closest thing in the heart and just start Warming my bacteria fingers in there and hopefully kill him. All right. Oh, I gotta roll the dice. I forgot about that part Oh, no, you could just call that that doesn't work. That's fine with me. That's my bad I forgot Mark's gonna try to grab the heart flop this thing around a little bit oh god it's a number triangle of fairness no no fucking way oh come on

no fucking way that's so fair that's so fair oh it fair. I don't wanna see where this goes. So I'm gonna give Mark the 20 point, but we're gonna go on, man. Oh no, cause I was gonna say, what I was gonna say is like I go to the heart and I self-destruct and I try to explode. I wish I'd said that because then it would have just had a catastrophic chain reaction like the Death Star.

And the body would have exploded with blood out of every orifice. I've rolled two 20s in a row and I'm starting to feel like this dice maybe isn't fair. Roll it again, roll it again, roll it again. Let's see. All right. Okay.

Well, that was supposed to be my roll. So now I get a 20. Maybe. Yeah. So Mark, I gave you a point for that 20 rolling, but let's keep going. That was too quick. He's not dead. Wait, no, that's the whole game! Mind, it's dead. That's so sad. I was looking forward to this one.

Damn you, Dice! Turns out Wade dropped us into the body of someone with a completely immune- immunocompromised immune system. No defenses whatsoever. Bob, you're a virus in the human- Oh, okay. What's so ever Bob you're a virus in the human? It is different if you're playing play games those are very different vectors so very different they are they do play differently playing All right, Bob. You are Pluto Okay, the universe is telling you you're not a planet all the odds are stacked against you You need to be a planet how you do you get your planet status back?

Is my goal to kill the universe. Whatever it takes to be a planet is what you need to do. I am Pluto. I am small, but I have moons, which is a very planetary feature. I reverse the magnetic poles and slow my rotation somehow because of physics and I start trying to draw my moons in so that I can accumulate their mass into myself and become bigger. Okay you are sucking in the moons to get bigger. If you roll a 20 this is I think a 6 or a 9. I don't know how to tell the difference on this one. This is like an important thing to be able to figure out. Well 6 is on the opposite side of 15 right? Do they add up to 21? So I think that's right. That would be a 6. I mean either way that doesn't really matter. I think those are both pretty much failures. Yeah the 6 and the nine neither has like a dot or anything

This is a great thing. We're using to wrote to get our rules here. It's fine It's what we used last time and it worked the moons to you mark. All right, so I'm small But I have moons which is a very planetary feature So I reverse the polarity of my magnetic fields to pull in the moons and gain their mass, right? I angle, I angle the direction that I am bringing those moons in to eject myself from the orbit. And I'm not going in, I'm going out to the Cooper belt to gain even more Agar.io style Katamari Damacy. I'm going to revolve around slingshotting through the Cooper belt getting over there and can hopefully

Re-entering back in to steal the orbit of one of those other planets I'm not sure which yet, but I know that if I dethrone one of them, I can be that planet. Oddly enough, that's literally exactly what I was thinking. Nice, nice. We're all the same wavelength here. I love this. Coops to rocks and coming back in. That is a 13. Damn. That's surprisingly good. You needed a 19. Bob, back to you. You now need an 18. I'm small, but I have moons. A very planetary feature. I reverse the polarity of my magnetic field and start sucking my moons in. I angle the suckage of the moons in so that they actually eject me from my current orbit and throw me into an extremely eccentric orbit that will take me out to the... Also, I don't know who's right. I've always said Kuiper belt is it Cooper belt it's probably the Kuiper it's probably good

but I said Cooper I don't know that will take me out to the Cooper belt a lot of guys have belts could be any of them that I where I will agario style Katamari Dimash style accumulate more mass what before my highly eccentric orbit comes me plings me flailing back into the solar system as a big big boy I have goals and primary goal of my goals topmost of them is to take the place of the most overrated planet in the solar system the one that everyone's talking about all the time, no matter what, I am gonna knock Earth down a peg,

slash into the sun and take its place. Knocking Earth into the sun to take its place. So close, Bob, you needed an 18, you got a 17. Oh, so almost there, almost there. So do I successfully knock the earth into the sun and that doesn't work? Or do I not successfully accomplish that? I'll tell how that story unfolds. Yeah, I don't know. Listen, I'm just the dice roll.

Is that how that usually works? I roll the dice and you tell me what happens. Dungeons and Dragons, not dungeons and story time come on I mean it did happen because I think Mark has to tell it so it does happen all right I'm small, but I have moons which is a very planetary feature I reverse the polarity of my magnetic fields to draw those some benches in but I angle them so that they Inject me from my orbit into a very eccentric but I angle them so that they eject me from my orbit into a very eccentric orbit through the Cooper Kuiper belt where I will gather as much mass agar.io, Katamari, Dimash-y style

and then angle my way back in for my eccentric orbit and hit that upstart son of a bitch Earth. Fuck em. They think they cannot name me a planet. I was a planet before any of those little bugs on the surface were ever there. I think that's what you meant Bob. I think that was what the company had to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I wangdoodle into them. Pool cue style. Bing bop. They go sailing. I steal their moon. Cause I lost Charon and that hurt, but Charon's part of me now and I aim Earth to go firing into Venus cause if I can knock down another planet at the same time

that increases my chances of being a planet. So Earth that was thrown into the sun you're also gonna hit into Venus on the way? We didn't know that it went into the sun, it was a hope. Yeah, that was my intention. Venus is on the way into the sun, it's not wrong. It's going in, it's going in. On its way to the sun, Earth is now going to hit Venus, it's taking out Venus' help.

You need a 17 or higher. 13. Damn. That's the same thing I rolled last time. Lucky number 13. Bob? Alright, I'm Pluto. I'm small, but I have moons.

Very planetary. Reverse the magnetic field. Suck the moons in. Angle that sumbitch so that it launches me into a highly eccentric orbit out into the Kuper Kiper Kuper belt. Out there I'm gonna accumulate as much mass as I can before my orbit carries me back in to the solar system where I will smash into that upstart pipsqueak son of a bitch earth and throw those little ant douchebags down towards the sun where they belong and on the way I'm angling it so that the earth also smashes into Venus because the more planets I take out the better chance I have of being named a planet.

I miscalculated a little bit. I stole the earth's moon and that affected my trajectory and I am now accidentally at a slightly larger, further away orbit from the sun than the Earth was. But during the collision, some living creatures that were on Earth accidentally transferred over onto the surface of me, and as their now home planet, I do everything I can to nurture them into evolving into a species that will worship me as the planet they know and love and came into existence upon.

I hope you at home can regurgitate all of that. Good luck, Mark. All right, Bob, you need a 16 or higher. I'm gonna get it, Mark. I don't think I got it, Mark. All right. Let me tell you how this is gonna go down, right? Look, I'm small, but I got moons. Very planetary. Very demure.

I reverse the magnetic polarities, bring in Charon and my little tiny extra moon, but I got two. Take that, Earth. Angle it, I go out, Cooper Kuiper belt, Bradley Cooper my way to extra mass. Angle eccentrically back in towards that fucking piece of shit God damn shit stain of a planet earth. Steal their bitch. It's mine now. Go hang out with Venus. Inhale. Push it out of the way. Oh, what's this? There's things on me. They're growing. I'm going to take care of them I'm not gonna wash. I'm not gonna bathe. They're gonna love me and despair like Galadriel But you know what else you know who is eyeball giving me the stink eye You know giving me the stink eye Earth's protector Jupiter Earth's protector Jupiter been like I've been protecting that son of a bitch from every threat, which way to Tuesday,

and he's giving me the stink eye, but you know what? I've played games a lot, and I know a weak spot when I see it. This moon don't need it. Like an Olympic spinny big rock thrower dude, I take that moon, and I start spinning because moon's not loyal to me. I don't need it. Slink! Right for the big red butt hole in Jupiter, and I bullseye it, blast it out of another planet down. All right, let's see if that works. You need a 15 or higher?

God, I hope that works. 16. Uh, okay, well, this is feeling very familiar. I feel like last time we played this game, I didn't win a single dice roll, if I recall. It's shocking about how that works somehow on this show, where somehow it's always the same, no matter how many times I get dice rolled in my favor. Don't worry, Bob.

This is your time to shine. Got it. Are you ready for your scenario? Do I go first? I am. Oh yeah, I was thinking, is Mark just one? Yeah, I guess Mark, you go first this time. Mark won his very first one on his first move because the dice that we're rolling is very fair. Yeah, of course. I remember that one happening. Yeah, I definitely didn't forget. Sure. Yeah. Okay.

So it would be Mark's turn again because that's fair. Bob, I just want to make sure you're ready. I want you to be on your best. Oh, I'm ready. I'm very ready. Mark, I'm not going to ask if you're ready. We're just jumping in. All right. You're an orgasming pig and a farmer is coming to slaughter you What male or female pig mark is the author of this story? Oh, okay? Good you have at least 30 minutes Of what orgasm power? What do you need at least 30 minutes? Yeah, the farmer is not gonna kill you during he's respectful So what do I gotta make it last long? No, not necessarily you just have to survive but you could Not the orgasm to survive the farmer. The farmer is the threat the orgasm is just happening

That's the matter but I thought you were ready. Come on, man. Let's what do you even have to think about? The first move is obvious. Okay. All right. All right. Here we go. Dear penthouse forum.

I never thought it would happen to me. There I was with Betsy. Oh man, you've seen a pig before, right? Anyway, finish the deed Barely three minutes into mid finish and here I hear Farmer John's boots thundering down the roadway. I know what's up. He fed me oats that morning I know a trap when I see it look down. It's not Betsy It's a pile of straw wrapped in a blanket. Fool on me, right?

Anyway, I know that he's very polite. He'll make sure that I get to enjoy myself before my bitter bitter end. Well, two can play at that game. I see a pail of milk that he left out. Fool, he is. I've got a bucket full of fraud that's gonna keep this going all night long. So long as he sees some white fluid occurring, he's not gonna kill me

because he thinks I'm not done yet. Take that bucket stealthily slide it under me and I just take a move and I go Eeeh Eeeh Eeeh For hours Bob I hope you remember

I don't know if I ever hope for a 20 more in my life But I'm hoping for it Dammit Fuck god no Mark you better hope to god it doesn't come back to you. Dear Pedhouse Forum, I never thought this would happen to me. Here I am with Bessie.

You've seen a pig, right? Anyway, here I am, not three minutes into finishing, but I hear Farmer What's-his-face's boots come slammin' down the roadway. And I know what that means. He fed me oats this morning. I know what that means. I look down and it's not even Bessie. It's just a pile of straw wrapped in a blanket.

It's okay though, cause the farmer's very polite. He would not dare slaughter me until I'm finished finishing. When I wield my most deadly weapon as a pig, you know, my diarrhea that I can't stop from coming out violently. And so I just jump all over him and just try and smother them with shit and see if I can hold them down and Drown them in my own shit. Thank you for keeping that succinct boy. Let's roll the second God, I hope I don't get a 19 Oh no, it's Mark's turn I can't believe you remembered every single detail

Except for Farmer John's name. Yeah, whatever the fuck his name was. I don't care. Thank you. Don't make me I'm sorry, man. The dice spoke It's mostly your own bullshit Dear pan house There I was with Betsy, You know a pig, right? I'm not three minutes in finishing. I hear a farmer, what's his name's boot come thundering out the way I and I know that I know what's up. He fed me oats this morning So I know what the game is and I looked down. It's not even Betsy

It's a fucking bale of hay wrapped in a blanket, but I know he's polite right? I know he's polite I feel bad ashamed tricked. He's very polite. He'll he won't finish me before I'm finished finishing So I look around with as stealth so that I can see a fucking milk drag it under me I go like ah one white substance as good as another dip my hoof and go oh And then while he's standing there watching kind of weird, but you know, we're in this I think it would know pig brain and I'm like, ah, I have the ultimate plan It took me half that bucket to think of this plan. I feign a heart attack. I know he's a sympathetic sort He fed me oats. He made Betsy

I guess and he would he would not dare kill me if I'm already dying shake the milk off my hoof I lay down and go Like I got a heart attack right surprise poop attack. I jump on Diarrhea all over ceiling tool I got left I have very few fluids left in my body, but I decide to shit all over him that'll teach him a lesson He'll never forget and while he is flailing from all the poop I grab Betsy for later and grab his shovel that he dropped. And then in my... I do one of these. Swing?

With both. It's not really like a swing. It's more like a... I try to decapitate him. Okay. Wade, you can end this. What? See, that was the third one. I needed 18 or higher. Oh, that's definitely gonna happen we haven't wasted a bunch of 20s on goofing around eight hey teen no Bob do you dare penthouse for me there I am with Betsy not three minutes into finishing when I

hear farmer what's his face's boots come slamming down the drive, I look down and it's not even Betsy, it's a spilt bale of hay with a blanket wrapped around it. And I know what's happening. He fed me oats this morning, I know what's happening. But he wouldn't dare kill me before I finish finishing, he's a polite sort. And as I'm finishing, I look around and I see that he left a bucket of milk out. And I grab that and I slide it under and he has no idea.

I'm going to be finishing for hours. I take my hoof and I dip it in the milk and I go... As I'm finishing repeatedly, I get about halfway through the bucket of milk before I realize I need to find another way out. And he's a sympathetic man. So if I pretend to have a heart attack, he'll probably come check on me and his guard will be down. And so I wipe the milk off my hoof and I lay over on my side and I go, like I'm having a heart attack.

And the farmer comes in and drops his shovel behind him and he's checking on me. And as he leans over to check on me, I jump up on him and start shitting everywhere and as my shit attack is panning out I realize this is probably not enough to finish the job so I reach back and I grab Bessie and then I lunge off the shit covered farmer and Pick up the shovel that he had. I don't have fingers So I kind of have it in both arms and I go I'm trying to capitate him and that doesn't work, but at this point, I've got an opening, he left the gate open, and so me and Bessie hightail it out the gate,

and just on the other side of the path that the farmer just walked out to come slaughter me is the tractor, and I've seen this man operate the tractor hundreds of times, so I know what to do. I set Bessie down by the pedals, I say what I say the word you for it Then I push buttons until that so bitch rumbles into life and then I pull on some levers and I look down at Bessie And I love I go for it, and I aim it right at the farmer laying in my shit pile All right, it takes five minutes to recap

this Bob you need a 17 oh man I really hope for Mark's sake we get there oh that's almost a 17 it really wanted to stop on the 19 there but it stopped at the 12 You can you can start up riching things. I think mark. We're accumulating a lot of stuff dear penthouse forum You've heard this story before me betsy, you know pigs anyway three minutes in farmer John's coming I'm not done coming here, but I look down The fucking trick again again. It's a pile of hay in a blanket. Anyway, he comes in He's looking at me. I know he likes to watch. I'm not about that, but he fed me oats this morning

So I know he's playing gonna wait till I finish I stealthily put the bucket of milk under me, dip my paw in, go I can keep that up for hours. Gives me enough time to think. Ah Heart attack. I've done it before. I'll do it again. Shake my hoof off dumb idea HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR tractor before I throw Betsy up by the gas pedal I say when I say floor it do it I push buttons I pull levers get that thing rumbling point it right towards where that farmers shaking in my shit pile I say floor it and I remember Betsy's pile hey can't really do that I scramble I like shit I'm on the other side of the tractor it's already going she's gonna blow if I don't divert power

to the engine or the wheels So I- I dive for the gas pedal, push Betsy unfortunately out of the window and I see Betsy tumble right under the tractor thresher blades NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! She was a pile of hay, she actually reformed back into a bale, the blanket perfectly back all the way on the other side Actually better than before, after what I've done to that pile Hey, it was not in the correct shape anymore. Betsy's by me. I hit the gas pedal try again 16 all right rig it to self-destruct and then I dive off with Betsy if you want something a little different

No, I like that. I just don't know if it's gonna work please No, I like that. I just don't know if it's gonna work please Dear penthouse forum. I can't believe it happened to me. I would betty got three minutes in the farmer What's his face? He fed me oats. I know what that means. He fed me oats. I know what that means again I look down! I look down! Best is not even a pig! It's a balahe with a blanket! What the shit! Tricked again!

Farmer gets there! I know he likes to watch! I'm not into that! But he's too polite! He won't kill me till I'm done finishing! And I look around! A bucket of milk! Obviously, milk equals jizz! I put the milk underneath me! I take my hoof and... I can do this for hours! And I do! And about halfway through the bucket of milk I

realize he's too polite. If I pretend a heart attack he'll get worried and come to help. So I clean the milk off my hoof and then he comes in and and he's all bending down and that's when shit attack and I shit all over him especially his face and he's writhing around and then I use that opportunity to go behind him and pick up a shovel that he dropped and I also I brought Bessie with me don't forget that and I try and tornado attack and his shovel didn't do nothing because I'm a pig and then I'm like whoa and I run over to the tractor that's parked over across the way and I toss Bessie by the pedals and I'm like when I say the word you floor it and I climb up and I push buttons and I pull levers and it rumbles to life and then I yell down to Bessie for it and nothing happens Because Bessie's a pile of hay so I jumped out I chucked Bessie out the window and she unfortunately falls into the thresher blades of the tractor

But it's okay because she's made of hay so she reformed perfectly into the exact same bale of hay on the back side of the tractor And the blanket's wrapped around her she's even better because she's not all beat up by me fucking her And then I floor it right over to the farmer But then I realized that the wall of my pen is made of stone so the tractor just goes right into the stone wall and then doink and nothing and at that point I realized the farmer always keeps a loaded cocked ready to go shotgun hanging on the back wall of the cab of the tractor and even though I don't have fingers I could probably get that thing down close enough to him and

then triggered with something So I'll shoot him in his stupid face So I get the gun out of the tractor and I lay it down sort of aimed it and I try to pull the trigger and kill him with the shotgun Alright 15 or higher Please no Time I'm 29 minutes into a 30 minute orgasm when I hear his footsteps coming by Good kill me. He's been me out this morning real nice guy, but I know what's up I don't have long left dragon bug and milk under me started spewing out milk. He can't tell the difference He's half blind anyway. I was half blind look down betsy's pile. Hey in a blanket. Look don't have long left dragon bogey to milk under me started spewing out milk. He can't tell the difference. He's half blind anyway.

I was half blind. Look down Betsy's pile. Hey in a blanket. Look, don't have a lot of time. It was great until it wasn't. Start fleeing that out and then I realize I need to do a heart attack. Gosh, shake off my paw at the same time. Fall over roll down.

He's so nice. Comes over real close right within shitting distance. Shit in his eyes. Grab Betsy, grab his shovel, try to swing his cap to hit him. Didn't work too low to the ground. I go outside, where his tractor is, and I know that, I've seen him use it before. Throw Betsy up by the gas pedal, I say like, when I tell you to floor it, you floor it! I start pushing buttons, pulling levers, and I get it lined up, engines rumbling, I go Betsy, floor it! The pile of hay, straw it out the window, she goes in and thresh her blades, no!

And then she reforms into a pile of hay, pre-fucked, with the blanket still on it, it's great, save that for later. I aim the- the tractor right at farmer John where he's twitching in my shit pile. I hit buttons, I gun it, no, bounces off, doink, right on the barn. Then I look back, that doink threw a shotgun down off the wall, oh shit that's great, grab the shotgun, I think I can get this, get it in my mouth, go over and try to shoot him in the stupid face. Boink! Blank! Fuck! He's so nice! He just had blanks in his shotgun, he wasn't gonna kill me at all! Maybe he wasn't gonna kill me! I apologize.

I say, hey, bro, maybe I misread the whole situation. Can you please forgive me? You did right by me by that, hey, bail. I'm not gonna lie. Couldn't tell the difference. Why don't we just put all this behind us pal pal? I put my just covered puff out there for him to shake pal buddy You need a 14

All right, I have a new strategy I'm gonna try and get to the part where I add new stuff in one breath, okay, all right to the part where I add new stuff in one breath. Okay. All right. Your penthouse form. I can't believe it happened to me. I'm your bestie. Three minutes in the farmer starts walking down the path. I looked down. It's not bestie. It's a bail of hail with the blanket wrapped around it. The farmer is going to kill me, but he's going to wait until I'm done finishing. Oh, why is this making it harder to remember? Ah, fucking shit. All right. Well, the breath thing was my own role. Anyway, he's not going to kill me until I'm done finishing and I see a bucket of milk and I'm like, ah, and then I did my hoof and I'm like, and he's standing gonna kill me till I'm done finishing and I see a bucket of milk and I'm like ah and then I dip my hoof in I'm like and he's standing there watching and halfway through the bucket of milk

I'm like if I fade in heart attack and then and then he comes in and he's so worried and I'm like I grab Bessie I grab the shovel and I tornado attack nothing happens cuz I'm fake then I go outside and there's a tractor I throw Bessie by the pedals. I start the tractor. I push the buttons and pull the levers I'm like Bessie floor it and Jay doesn't do it cuz she's piling it. I throw her out, pressure blade, ah, she's fine. Whoa, she's leaving hotter than before. And I floor it, and the tractor hits the wall and just doink, and because of the doink, there's a shotgun and it falls right down.

I'm like, ooh, and I get the shotgun in my mouth and I go and I shoot it and bam, it's a blank cause the farmer's so nice. And I'm like, oh, this guy's so nice. And I stick my chest paw out and I'm like, hey, can you forgive me? Hey, hey, oh, this guy's so nice. I stick my gist paw out and I'm like, hey, can you forgive me? Hey, hey, buddies, pals. And he looks me through his shit-covered eyes, and he grimaces, and he says, I'm going to eat you myself.

And I look around frantically because I realize he's not going to forgive me. And there's an oil lamp hanging on the barn, up on the rafters of the barn, and I'm like, well, I don't know if I'll make it out, but maybe we'll both die, you son of a bitch. And I jump up and I smash the oil lamp so that it bursts into a huge thing of flame, and the entire barn is engulfed in a conflagration of flame because it's all filled with hay and all kinds of flammable shit.

And the farmer's laying there, still trying to get his bearings back From the shit and I stare into his eyes as he realizes that he's gonna die. It's all my fault Oh good, we've not rolled higher than a six in a while. We're just say it was a 13 Fuck's sake Three our episode of mostly just this one thing Get penis form, I never imagined what would happen to me You know Betsy right? Well anyway 3 minutes into my 30 minute orgasm

I hear Farmer John He's coming my way Ah shit, oats this morning I should have known, he's gonna kill me, look down It's not even Betsy, he's a hay baler in a blanket I say fuck, grab a bucket of milk that he forgot Pull it under me, start slinging around He walks in, loves to watch, he sees me slinging around, he's like,

oh, I better wait till he finishes, he's so nice. He's so goddamn polite. Anyway, I get a lot of thinking time in as I'm playing going, ugh, ah, and then I realize, ah, if I fake a heart attack, he's so nice, he's not gonna kill me if I'm already dying, he might think something wrong with me, go over, ugh, shake my oof off with milk. He comes over real close, shitting his eyes, he falls down, grab Betsy, grab the shovel,

try to tornado attack him, doesn't work, go out to the tractor, throw him up by the pedals, I start pulling off, push the letters, it fires life, I go, FOR IT! She's bailed, hey, I throw her out the window, she goes into the thresher blades, I go, no! And then she's even hotter than before, when she comes out the other side with the blanket still

on it, man, that was a good blanket. I hit the gas pedal, bounce off the wall, boink! Oh, shotgun falls down, I grab it in my mouth. I go over there, I'm like, I'm gonna blow you away. You saw a big click bang. It's a blank. This guy was so goddamn nice. I stick out my milk covered, jizz covered,

shit covered paw and I go like, pal. He says no, I like, well fuck you then anyway. He was gonna eat me himself. He says I grabbed the lantern from up on high. I dive bomb into it. I dive up bomb into I headbutt it Blast into a fireball conflagration it takes the whole barn covered in hay everywhere wood beams. I say like Baby, I can't kill you Bob. I'll take you with me or something. I said something cool in that it was in the moment I can't remember right now, and then as we're all burning and we're in there. He rises from the embers

He's half. You know V from vendetta when he stood out of the ashes everything went OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ He's too busy screaming about to kill me removes the blanket off of herself wraps him and her in the blanket I'm like, oh My bacon sizzling but she's sacrificing herself to take this guy down once and for all Because a blanket is gonna seal them both up They will both burn and I might live but he will die and I might die I have a clarifying question is Betsy at this point still just a pile of hay. It's a male. Hey with the blanket Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, clearly. Okay. All right. You need a 12 Bob. You're up. It's a three That dice is so bullshit Bob you have a 50% chance

Dear pet house forum. I can't believe happen to be I'm with Betsy I looked out you know a pig three minutes in the far starts walking down. I looked out again again Bessie's made a hey, oh no Farmer comes out. He fed me oats I know what that means, but he's gonna wait to kill me until I finish finishing. Oh Man, I'm starting to lose bits of it. Oh, and I'm like, well that could finish forever I see a bucket of milk. I slide that between my legs. I dip my hoof in and I start going And I'm doing that for hours and about halfway through the bucket of milk I'm like, oh fake heart attack and then I shake the milk off my hoof and I'm like And he comes in cuz he's stupid and he looks at me and as he's bending over and guards down

I jump all over and I shit all over and that doesn't kill him I don't know why it would and I grabbed the bestie and I grabbed the shovel and it's tornado attack and that doesn't do anything And I grabbed Bessie. I'm like a tractor and I chuck her up by the pedals that pulling levers and push buttons It rumbles to life and I aim it at the far right. I'm like, tractor and I chuck her up by the pedals that pulling levers and push buttons and rumbles to life and I aim It at the farmer. I'm like for it. Nothing happens bail of hay. I check her out. She goes into the fresher Nothing happens bail of hay, but sexy and then I floor it and get it doink hit the wall farmer Not dead shotgun falls in and I grab the shotgun and I'm like, I'll kill him and I Bang, it's a blank. Oh, he's so nice

I stick out my jizz mud shit milk covered hoof and I'm like, friends? And he's like, I'll fucking eat you. I'm like, oh, then we'll both die. And I smash the oil lamp and it bursts into a conflagration and the whole barn's going up because it's filled with hay and shit. And I'm looking around and he's not dying. And I'm like, oh, I'm sizzling. And then I see Bessie jump into action and jump on the farmer and wraps her hay bale arms around him and the blanket and seals them up tight and then turns him into a hot pocket and gonna cook in the barn. And I'm like, Oh, he's definitely dead now. I'll

get the rest of my revenge on his family. And I go hop in the the tractor drive up towards the farmhouse then as the tractor is floored right at the farmhouse I find another oil lamp because it's an old tractor then I smash the oil lamp all over the outside of the tractor and now it's a big rolling fireball and it crashes into the farmhouse to kill the rest of his family! You need an 11 or higher. Please, please, please, please. You did it. It's a 15. Oh, the curse has been broken. Welcome to my side of the dice roll, Mark, where you never win and it only gets worse. That was quite a battle. Many phases. What was the first thing that happened where you did it?

Bacteria. I was so excited for the bacteria one. Bacteria killed the human. I was like, man, we're going to start off strong. We had the shortest and longest night to win all in this episode. You guys remember Pluto? That was fun Very planetary feature going through the points here Bob. I'll start with you. Oh Bob you got a point for your points for tiny car ace Ventura

embarrassed pig recollection milk equal jizz Feel me out feel me. Oh something oats times three feed me oats Yeah, you kept saying he fed me oats and then he fed me., something oats times three. Feed me oats? Yeah, you kept saying he fed me oats, and then he fed me, I found it really funny, it made me laugh. Yeah, I know what that means, he fed me oats. I know what that means, he fed me oats.

One breath fail, cluff, not Paul. Kill his family! And you rolled a 15 for the win. All the stuff in between the one breath recollection and the end No, nothing. There's a lot of points there. See Bob your problem is you get too many funnies too quickly He can't keep track of them all I try to ration my funnies like a like a pig's orgasm I just draw it out mark you got points for

122 terabytes cubes made cry slavering 20 wins bacteria Pluto 15 roll to 16 Betsy's hay bye bye Betsy Jizz paws

because you changed the hoof to a paw half way through I feel better about the things I got points for now I guess how can no one got a point for floor? I was probably too busy actually laughing at that point There was a point Bob where you were talking and I think mark and I were just fucking dying The first reckless you did but I couldn't believe you remembered every fucking detail that's the game I couldn't believe you remembered every fucking detail. That's the game! Nah, whatever the fuck his name was.

Bob, you finished with 10 points. Mark, you finished with nine points, making Bob the winner. That's fair. I... I... Oh, fucking Ghost Rider Pig with a tractor growing up. One of the kids look out the window like,

Mommy, I see something. The sun's rising again. Years later, one of the survivors is reading Penthouse and they see where this was written. And they thought the pig died when it rolled over the house and then it's like, oh no, that means looks behind, fire starts looming and the pig in the doorway. Yeah, Bob, you won.

So you get to give a winner speech. Yay, dice rolls. It always feels good to win and it feels even better to win when I earned it. That was the first one, I mean we haven't done this a lot, that's the first time we played a game like that where it got so long I actually was struggling to remember a lot of it by the end there. I just some details definitely started to disappear from my recollections. Yeah started to disappear from my recollections. Yeah.

Uh, Mark, loser speech. I think if I could remember Korean vocabulary as well as I remember these stories, I think it just goes to show that if you want to remember anything, start weaving the most absurd tale you possibly can, and you will remember it. You will remember it. Uh, but you know, I think that as great a start I gave the pig one, or cursed, Bob really took it home with that one. He had some great contributions, some real vengeful ideas, and I concede the victory to Bob for that. That was well, well, well won.

I almost died laughing. There was a point where I couldn't breathe. Cannot disagree with you there, I also felt like that was happening at one point. But good episode boys, thank you all for watching. If you haven't already, go follow Bob at MySkirm, Mark at MarkApplier, me at Minion777 or LordMinion777. Stay tuned for the next one where Bob will host and who knows what we'll do. Until then, I'm Cast Out. Oh, Merch. PracticalStore.com. Podcast really out.