Distractible - Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD, large quantities of beans and hyperventilation. This episode is brought to you by Walmart Subscriptions. Groceries and essentials, delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Plus, there are so many designs you can mix and match to create a stack for every look. Shop online at majore.com or in-store today. Good evening, gentle listener and watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Maze Like Mark leads a terrible trio into catastrophic conundrums. Bragging Bob builds for his boy, plays him pizza,

Glee Scari gets zapped and squashed, but escapes via estuary. Birthday boy, White-Whiskered Wade, fucks his form in a family, survives sex, and is victorious over Venus. From calamitous cams to malevolent meteors, yes, it's time for, Nah, I'd win part three

now sit back and prepare to be distracted and Enjoy the show Aren't you all right there, but oh did I click record too soon? I don't know why this one is so hard for me to contextualize in my head. Is it math? Is it two sentences long? No, it's not math.

Wait, hey, shut up! This is the best creative process I've ever gotten to witness live. Ah. Okay. Alright. Okay. Alright. Okay.

I got it. Were you making fun of me? No, I thought we were doing a bit to start the episode. I was trying All right. Okay. All right. Okay. I got it. Were you making fun of me? No, I thought we were doing a bit to start the episode. I was trying to participate. No, no. I was yes ending Oh, I see. All right. All right. Well, I I Have it. Hi. Welcome to distractible. I Have an idea for this episode and I was thinking very hard about it and it only came to me right after the last episode that we've recorded and then I was like, ooh that's good and then I was like, oh I got it and then I was like, oh there's something

wrong with it, oh and then I had to go think about it and now I'm still, now I'm completely unsure if this idea is going to work at all but hey that's a problem for future me. In about 15 minutes I'm either going to have something or not have something but in that interim might be the only valuable part of this episode So we're gonna make it a good one what episode? This is the name of the episode Man I am brimming with confidence and you know who else is brimming with confidence these two gentlemen right here And you know who else is brimming with confidence these two gentlemen right here Yeah, what's up, how's it going? I'm already having a good time. I love this. It's a great episode mark. Thank you I'm just so sorry that the viewers the listeners have had to miss out on watching marks creative process

I'm this will be the first time we do a cold open for a distractable episode. Yeah, maybe This will be the first time we do a cold open for a distractable episode. Yeah, maybe four minutes This if you didn't know this is I come up with all the plot points to like a heist in space It is just me going Well, you start off by beating yourself repeatedly on the head and then came though off by beating yourself repeatedly on the head and then came the... It's uh it's it's it's all going very good over here at Distractable HQ but how good is it? These gentlemen are gonna tell me. How good is your lives going today? Guys my woodworking journey... that's a bad whistle. It's going well better than that whistle implies. I have legs of a table. I'm building a table for James. Did you guys ever covet when you were

kids like those train activity tables where you built the little wood, Brio wood train on it? I'm building one for James. I have almost all my wood milled down and cut down to size and I got pocket holes. I'm doing pocket holes guys. I got a pocket hole jig so I drilled a bunch of pocket holes. All I need now is plywood, but I don't have a car you can fit sheets of plywood in because I don't have a cool truck like Mark does so I have to go somewhere and trust the people who work at the store to cut my plywood down to size for me which is not a thing I really trust them to do but I'm sure it'll be fine. But then once I have that, table! I also have some little But then once I have that, table. I also have some little cutoffs of hardwood.

I'm gonna make, get this, a napkin holder. Mm. I like napkins, I use them. When I make the napkin holder, I can bring it here and show it on camera. Is it like the restaurant ones where you have napkins on both sides? Or is it fancy, so you only pull napkins from one side?

It's not a dispenser, it's like a holder. You just set napkins. That makes more sense. It's not like an industrial restaurant thing, it's like a dispenser. It's like a it's like a holder you just set napkins that makes more sense It's not like an industrial restaurant thing. It's like a home thing So I was pictured that I was like, how do you make that out of wood? But a holder makes more sense because that yeah, it's like a by Mike I Just barely touched it apparently that's a little loose on my mic holder

straight up died but a gunshot sounded and it was just like AHHHH anyway I forgot to mention this last episode but by the time these two episodes come out my birthday will have passed HAPPY BIRTHDAY yeah happy birthday past. Happy birthday! I don't want to date the episode too much but it's not quite my birthday just close. Technically we'll be together at least one more time before then but like by the time

this episode comes out it's still pretty fresh. So yeah getting older we should do is that our episode getting older? Probably that's why Mark was so stressed about it. I don't know okay do you guys have this thing where like I don't know if you care about your birthdays. Not at all. I don't really care about my birthday, but everyone makes such a big deal about birthdays. My family's all like, well, you got to do something. What do you want? What do you want for your birthday? It's like nothing. We can do a meal or something. I guess. No, no, you have to open a present on your birthday. You have to have dinner on your birthday. You have to do this on your birthday. And it's like, I kind of just want it to be a day that exists, goes by and not really focus on the

fact that I'm no longer a young Buck in my prime so it's not that's not just like you don't care about your birthday. You don't like your birthday, huh? I don't hate it I just don't care to make a big thing about it anymore because I feel like it's not that big of a deal and how Old will you be? 56 for the same age dude. I don't know you might be younger. I'm like a month and a half older than you might be younger i'm saying you might be younger i'll be 36 i can't forget it's 2025 i was like i'll be 35 2024 well happy birthday thank you thank you i'm like yeah it's not really that big of a deal but i made my small talk about my birthday therefore contradicting myself you just make sure that

everyone knows that that's coming just so that nobody forgets Yeah, yeah, don't forget it, but like don't make a big thing about it But like I don't want you to not think of me. I'll send you flowers. It'll be Loki. Well, it's not Thor flowers What flowers because you're sitting him Loki Marvel jokes are they're still relevant. Yeah, not to me. Okay. Well, I didn't give a point for it But I thought it was at least a little bit relevant not not that relevant. Yeah, not to me. Okay, well I didn't give a point for it but I thought it was at least a little bit relevant. Not that relevant. Yeah, not that relevant. Anything else? Lexi's doing okay but she has an infection. Are those scarier right now than usual or is it like probably fine? It's not, she doesn't have any immunocompromised issues or anything, it's just her incision has an infection

which is tough on dogs because we've had like the donut on so she can't lick it and stuff but she's doing okay but it's fucking annoying because I can't get them to give me her goddamn medicine. They prescribed her antibiotics but they sent it to just like to CVS which I don't know why it never occurred to me but the vet was like do you want us to send it to a pharmacy near you guys? And I was like I don't know if we have any veterinary pharmacies and And they're like, I just a CVS or whatever. Like it's the house like you can do that. Oh my God.

But it turns out CVS doesn't give a fuck about dogs. So it's been two straight days of me trying to get her medicine and failing so far. But I should have it tomorrow. You show up for the medicine. They're like, you don't look like Lexi. Are you sure you're Lexi? Yeah, well, that was a whole part of the thing is they sent the info in this. And the pharmacy was like, we don't look like Lexi, are you sure you're Lexi? Yeah, well that was a whole part of the thing, is they sent the info and the pharmacy was like, we don't know this person,

because they sent it for Lexi Meiskins. And I was like, it's a dog, that's my dog. And they were like, a dog? No, we have a prescription for a child named Lexi Meiskins. Is that, and I'm like, no, it's a dog. It's my dog. This is why I thought it wouldn't come here, because it's confusing for you people!

Anyway, American healthcare sucks even when it's for dogs, so. I laugh, but inside I cry. I don't even want to talk about it, but I'm still in the throes of my... I talked about I needed prior authorization for my diabetes treatments. Still not settled. I have about two weeks supply right now of what I need, and I'm not sure where my next ones are coming from because I have a prior authorization,

but somehow that's not enough. You need a poster authorization as well. Prior auth, a during auth, and a post auth. You actually need to get the post authorization from a coroner, but you have to know which coroner is gonna intake your dead body when you die. So you have to go from your future coroner and you're committed to that coroner. Once you get a post-off.

Do you think people that make coffins have extra wood scraps you could use to make things? Not the salespeople, but the factories maybe, but a lot of factories, their offcuts are all bundled up and sent specific places. So, I guess I'm thinking of very specific old like bored caskets, whereas they're not really like that at funeral homes. places so I guess I'm thinking of very specific old like bored caskets whereas they're not really like that at funeral homes you mean like old pine boxes like it's the wild wild west out here no I don't think that's how they do it

anymore I don't think I've ever seen anyone buried in a coffin like that anymore I know an expression about a coffin of having a something about pine something something. Yeah, something like that. I remember it so vividly. Ah, like it was yesterday. Yesterday. Yesterday.

I'm gonna fit in with a new pair of pine shoes. Oh, you're referencing the old phrases. I see. You're gonna be sleeping with the squirrels. Pine shoes? I don't know. Pine overcoat. Pine overcoat is the cough.

Pine overcoat, that was it. This episode is brought to you by Walmart. I'm a busy guy. I don't have time to grocery shop. I'm always busy, but more importantly, I'm very lazy. I like to have things delivered because it's convenient. Meat? What else people buy? You can choose the date and the time. You never feel more powerful. Walmart subscriptions. Groceries and essentials delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart.

Shipping, delivery, and minimum order fees may apply. Eligible items only. Terms apply. Alright, it's time for the idea. I'm excited. I hope you are. I just want to know what it is at this point There's been a lot of buildup a lot of buildup for something that I've been trying to Imagine how it's gonna go and I think I just got a trust in you guys for this. Okay

Hey everyone listening and or watching remember when I said that idea it wouldn't work it didn't I've got an even better one for you. It's no I'd win part three And the title just changed so you didn't know that up until this moment Yeah, so we're actually gonna change the title 20 minutes into the release of the episode make everyone feel crazy, right? But you're not crazy Except you are and for everyone at home. The way this works is these guys are brimming with confidence They can surmount every unsurmountable obstacle in their path If there's a wall, they're going right through it. In fact, man versus wall

would probably be one of those. I have a similar one here, but it's not going to be first. But damn it, they'd win. No matter the matchup, no matter what kind of logic or science or physics gets in the way of them claiming victory or surviving whatever is coming their way, they'd win. And they're going to tell me exactly how that's gonna happen and I'm gonna remember to actually get up a d20 so they're going to present an option I'm gonna paint the scenario of what's happening what the objective is what the enemy they're up against and they are going to tell me an action a single action that they will do to try to overcome that obstacle each action that I deem advantageous,

actually advantageous, gets them a bonus point on their roll. They have to get 20 to overcome this obstacle, but every bonus action that stacks the odds in their favor will give them a bonus towards their roll. So whatever they roll, they get one more if they get one good action, two, three, it goes up from there. I have and will not give points if the action very clearly isn't going to help

them, but I encourage them to try whatever they want to try. Now in an invisible coin toss that was extremely fair and no one saw, Wade won a coin toss. Yes! So Wade's going to go first. All right, Wade, you are an ant. Okay. Alright, Wade, you are an ant. Okay. A weird particle of dust landed on your head from the Ophiocordyceps unilaterus mushroom.

If you don't know what that is, it's the mushroom that is going to take over your brain and turn you into a zombie and force you to rise up high so that your head can explode and have other spores blast out and infect other ants around you In fact cordyceps is the main catalyst in the last of us. That's not nerdy. That's just a thing That's true. So to be clear our goal here is to defeat cordyceps. If you get infected you wouldn't die. Nah You'd win. How? Alright. There I am hive mentality Going and gathering food for the ant colony when cordyceps lands on my head the first thing I do scream

All right, I guess the shaking might Help oh and I got the little legs trying to bat at it. Yeah, can ants scream? Oh, we can Bob You think this is good action? I don't want to set that bar too high I know what I do in these kind of games Damn it didn't make it. You got an 11. You get infected you rise up high and your head explodes. Bob Remember you have to recite everything he just said. Sure great. Oh yeah I forgot about that part! I'm an ant. I'm out gathering food for the colony and cordyceps lands on my head and I

scream That doesn't do anything and I remember that fungus goes on pizza That's the stupidest thing I've ever thought in my life hang on Ah, that's the stupidest thing I've ever thought in my life. Hang on. Too late? No, no, no. So I go to the old piece of pizza that's laying next to the anthill and I just roll around in the pizza. Try to get the fungus off of me. That might work. It's greasy and cheesy and there's tomato sauce and I don't know.

I'll give you that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Alright. So that's another point. So there's plus plus two now I could actually remember this so and oh So close you got a 17 plus 2 is a 19. No You were right there. Ah Almost got it with the pizza, but it was dry old crusty pizza dust didn't come off your head explodes It was dry old crusty pizza dust didn't come off your head explodes All right, yeah, it's a good idea it's a good idea you're right Wade There I am an ant gathering food for the colony got hive mentality

quarter steps dust lands on my head Still there. What do I think? Fungus fungus goes on pizza. I go I find a piece of pizza AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH AHHHH A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A Wouldn't that just infect the whole colony? If it doesn't work... Hahahaha Hey, if you can't beat them, infect everyone else. That's what I always say. I don't know if I could give that one a bonus point. In fact, I kinda wanna subtract a survival point here. I feel like you disguising the spore with your cheese hat and trying to like go back into the colony.

This is about my survival not the colony You didn't say which side we were on Unless Bob thinks otherwise it's about saving us the ant Bob. I think you're probably right mark. I don't know. All right still it I mean, even if you even if somehow that saves you if you destroy your entire colony Now you survive that as an ant if if they eat it off and kill it. I'm fine How would they kill it by eating it? That's how they would get infected Digestion did so did we lose a point for that or I won't deduct a point, but I'm not giving you one Fuck Nat 20 holy shit

Destiny herself has spoken on my behalf not even joking It's Nat 20 I could share by screen doubt you would lie about that. It is just straight-up Nat 20 Somehow going into the colony and having them eat the cheese, it saved you for sure. I don't think the rest of the colony survives though. I call that not my problem. Alright, well that was a great matchup. Uh, short, but not bad. Alright, Bob, you're gonna go first. Alright.

You- you- you find yourself in some tight enclosed space as your consciousness awakens. You're cramped. You're trapped. You need to be free so you- AGH! Poke with your tiny little sort of beak out and then you- you put your flippers all kind of- UGH! HUH! There's a bright light behind you and then there's kind of a moon-shaped thing over where- where you kind of hear a little bit of water. You also- birds are around and everything is terrible.

And there's cars rushing by on the the road that just so happens to be nearby. You are a baby sea turtle that just hatched and you got to get to the ocean. Everything's killing you. The light, the road, the cars, the predators. Everything is out to get you. How would you win? Am I fully out of the egg or am I just erupting from the egg? Let's say you're half out your your upper half is out because obviously the first step is

Get myself fully out of the egg get all the egg goop off of me and Aim towards the water sound. Okay. All right, you try that. That's a plus one for sure Nope Alright, you try that. That's a plus one for sure. Nope. You get 13, plus one is 14, you get swooped up by a seagull, instantly dead. Alright, Wade. I open my eyes, I see the light.

I get myself the rest of the way out of the egg. I hear the water. I start to go that way and I realize I need to stealth. I dip my head back in the egg, get a little bit of goop to put some stealth paint on my face, and then I make my way in in the egg, get a little bit of goop to put some stealth paint on my face, and then I make my way in. Sure, plus one, I'll take it.

Did that work? Nope, 12 plus two, 14. The time you took to put it on your face, another seagull just swooped up right behind you. I mean, if only we were old enough to have established brains. Nope, Bob. I erupt out of the egg.

I take my time, I get myself all out of the egg. I hear the ocean sounds and I look that way and I start walking and I realize I need to be disguised. So I go back to my egg and I camouflage my face with egg goop for some reason. And I realize going towards the water is what they want me to do so I go the opposite direction from where I hear the ocean noises as fast as I can I don't know if that's been in my science class I've learned that that might be bad but I like where you're going with it I'm a maverick all the other sea turtles are sprinting

towards the ocean and they're still dying clearly. I'll give you a plus one on that I'll give you I'll give it to you. Did it work? Two plus three that's not great is a five turns out going the wrong way Not great dead crushed by a car instantly smooshed wait. I hatch out of the egg I am alive and I hear the water so I start making my way toward it before I realize I should probably have a disguise dunk my face back in the egg to stealth up I think to myself all the other idiots are going that way. What if I think outside the shell I turn around I start going the other way and I find this weird stinky white

Kind of gray pile and I flip over and roll in it thinking if I cover myself in bird shit No one will want to eat me. Mm-hmm. My face is covered in goo. My shells covered in shit. I will survive All right, I'll give it to you. What's for? Oh 14 plus 4 is 18 close but not quite a lot of delaying does not seem to be helping you delaying what? I'm already going the wrong way, man All right fair enough Bob. I am born Come out of the egg. I get all the shell off of me. I start towards the water sound I realize I need to disguise I go back to the egg. I dip my face in the egg. I get the disguise

I decide I'm gonna be a maverick everyone else is going towards the water. I go away from the water. I come across a mysterious pile of white stuff. I suddenly realize it's bird shit. Obviously I need to roll around in that. So I do. My shell is now very, very slippery. I look to my right and there is a steep hill down into a small stream of rushing water.

It's an estuary connecting the inland oceanic waters to the beach all the rushing out towards the ocean and i just and i try and like slide down the hill into the water to escape all right yeah plus one i'll give that to you did it work oh 18 plus 5 23 the estuary it was i don't think estuary is the right word no you're absolutely right a partially enclosed body of water where rivers Meet the ocean mixing freshwater with salt water Oh Alright Bob is a maverick turtle Congratulations Bob you made it into the ocean there's more threats in the ocean, but you made it to the ocean now

I'm fine. What's here in the ocean safe? No, I'd win No, I'm fine. What's here in the ocean? Safe. Nah, I'd win. Nah, I'd live. Alright Wade you feeling a little something? A little something something? A little something something something? You look across the leaf you're on You see the most beautiful Lady praying mantis you've ever seen in your life You my friend are getting lucky tonight.

Nothing bad ever happens to a praying mantis when that happens, except it bites your head off. For those who don't know, when male praying mantises mate with the female, they then get their head eaten by the female. But not you! Wait, how would you win in this scenario? I show up to my date with this female praying mantis and I am ready to go. I uh Broke my neck so I'm wearing a nice little wooden neck brace So that way when we get done, the only thing I have on is exactly the protection I need Uh-huh God, I hope that's a nat 20. I love the prep time. I really like it. That's great. All right, did it work?

fucking hell holy shit what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck nooo great scenario mark holy shit all right Wade got a nat 20 if people didn't guess from that. Holy shit.

Hey, praying mantis is out there. All you gotta do is fake a neck injury. It'll stick around longer. Wow, the wooden condom really did you right. Hey, protection is always the answer, everyone. Bob, you didn't even get a chance to get laid. That means I survived, I don't know. That's true. Man man I'm burning through my

Scenarios alright so here we go It's okay. Well. I need to catch one good one for it to take the entire rest of the episode All right Bob it's night. It's dark can't see a thing you just minding your own business Can't see a thing. You're just minding your own business What what is that there's some kind of weird bright blue light over there it's so Captivating and it's got this weird buzz to it, but that just makes it more appealing you being a moth It was it's only until you get close enough that you realize you're on a collision course with a bug zapper. Now, in this scenario, not only are you,

you can't just fly away. You gotta stop this bug zapper so that none of them, none of your people, ever, cause as you get closer you witness one after another after another of your friends, family, brothers, sisters, even some people that you work out of the same moth office with that you don't really like, they get burnt to a crisp right before your eyes. You need to stop this. It's up to you and you alone.

Okay. I'm flap flap flap flap flap flap flap. I'm a moth. I see the bug zapper. I'm drawn to it. I'm on a collision course with it in a last ditch effort to break the trance it has over me and save myself so I can continue to fight this fight I wrap my wings around myself and hug my ass goodbye but in doing so I cover my own eyes and break the trance the thing the blue light has over me all right that's good that's good I'll give you a point for that all right did it work 24 24. Oh, come on. You aerodynamically fold your wings in so that you actually increase your speed and you kind of like meteor straight into the, like right between the wires, straight into the actual light itself, the most electrified area. At least it's quick. No luck there.

Wade? The light, it's so beautiful. I can't look away. I fly toward the bug zapper, then at the last possible moment I realize, I need to cover my eyes! I fold my wings in over myself and begin to plummet. I plummet and plummet and plummet, and then- oh no, I'm gonna split! Oh, I'm fine. Because I'm so light. I didn't do anything useful there, I'm fine. I'm so light. I didn't do anything useful there. I just fell All right, no points for that but yeah, you're right was that helpful. No, I just really wanted to land, you know You land the bug zapper explodes for no

Scenario over You land the bug zapper explodes for no reason scenario over All right here, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna share my screen preemptively so that we just know if this does happen So close there it's an 11 damage plus one cuz you didn't get a bonus point put you at 12 I can't believe hitting the ground wasn't a bonus Turns out the bug zapper it detached that moment crashed down right on top of you the odds Bob it falling is not in your reality. This is for okay. No, I got I got I am flap flap flapping and oh the blue Light is so beautiful and I start flying towards it at the last moment I realize I need to close my eyes, I need to break the light of sight and I wrap my wings around myself and I just barely miss the bottom edge of the bug zapper

and I plummet and I plummet and then I realize oh fuck I'm falling and I nyeeeep and land delicately and I've landed delicately on the fly rink of Gary the Night Watchman who sits beneath the Bug Zapper. It's there to protect him from bugs. Dude, I get to keep going. This is a kind of a long step. I have a couple more things I was hoping to accomplish. I don't want to overdo it.

I don't know. I wanted to accomplish more than falling too, man. I have gotten his attention. Alright, cool. He knows I'm there. That's fair. Alright, I think this could work in your favor. I'm going to give you one because I think I know where this is going, so there's two points right now. Oh! 17! Oh! Oh! So close! If only I'd earned a point for you yeah imagine if you'd done anything at all

Aside from describing what I did in slightly more detail. I think it's a strategy He's really playing the the smart game the third episode We know how to really play it, but no, that did not work. But you did grab his attention. He ended up just, yeah, I was afraid of that. Did you fly to his head or did you land on his head? That's the thing we landed on after plummeting. Okay.

All right, wait. The light is so beautiful. I fly toward it. I can't help myself until the last possible second. I close my wings around my face, blocking the light, and I fall, I fall, I plummet, until I land on the fly rink of one Gary. Gary, feeling something on his head,

immediately goes to reach up and swat at it, but I'm right below the bug zapper. What if he hits it? What if he knocks it off? What if? What if? What are you doing about it? Watching Gary swing not actually technically doing anything fuck man Wade really likes not doing

anything this round I'm rubbing his head to add extra itchiness wait entire action can be described as Man I really went downhill from that net 20. Let's see if it worked if that fucking works Nah We're 14 plus 2 16 again. He notices his hand as you watch it. You're like, oh wow, he might hit it. Wow, that's getting closer. Huh, that's really... Bob, I'll do better. I got this, man. I'm gonna lock in. I'm locking in. If it's not a bit or a strategy you're doing on purpose, it's very impressive. Thank you. I'm locking in. I'm locking in. Alright, he's locked in all right Bob all right

I'm mothin around. Oh the light is so beautiful I fly straight towards it until the last possible moment when I cover my eyes with my wings and I start to dive And I just missed the bug zapper and I dive straight down landing on the fly rink of one Gary Gary notices me land on his fly rink, and I do something Gary. Gary notices me land on his fly ring and I do something. I'll tell you what in a second. I just want to make it clear. I'm doing a thing. I'm not just standing there waiting to see. Gary starts to swat at me and I do that thing that moths do where I start flying but I start flying right into his forehead in the same spot repeatedly even though I could clearly fly in any other direction.

But my goal is to get him to start swatting wildly and hope that he knocks off the bug zapper and destroys it. And I did something that time. All right, this is great. You're dodging, you're weaving multiple slaps. Let's see if that goes well for you. Get a bonus point, it's plus three now. 18. God's plus three now 18

God's wait wait. No, that's good. Yeah, plus three. Yeah, you did it. Yes Congratulations, Bob. You actually did something Something he flailed twice three times and on the fourth his hand connects with the bug zapper He gets electrocuted right as you just so happen to leap off of his forehead so you don't also get you see his skeleton light up but then boom him and the whole thing just explode your moth brethren saved forever I fly away like the guy from CSI Miami and I don't even look back at the cool explosion.

That's incredible. And then they play that who song. Wow, won't give up again. Yeah, that one. I see, I see. Don't copyright strike that, I know it's really good. I really wanna say I wanna thank Bob for Doing anything?

Carrying a little bit that round My contributions, I think aided in your creativity You're welcome. Sure, but my actions I think speak for themselves. We'll see how this next round goes for you I'm curious and excited on that 20. Okay, wait once again. We're visiting bug land Wade once again, we're visiting bug land Channel your inner bug. I was a great mantis great mantis We have done a fly matchup before you are actually the same fly that killed that frog fly who lived Got a lightning bolt. Oh, yeah, that's true. You got a lightning bolt. Remember that detail. It's very important. All right You're actually distant cousins with the moth who lived also so legends You know a lineage of legends here and on your victory lap you notice. Oh

There's such a sweet delectable scent in the air. Hmm. It's down there from that plant it's so open and ready for me and it smells so succulent and sweet You deserve a tasty delicious treat while you are doing your victory lap you land on it So you're already on it when you realize You're in a Venus flytrap Quite the scenario I'm in You're in a Venus Fly Trap. Quite the scenario I'm in. Mm-hmm.

I am the fly who lived. I have the scar on my forehead to show it. My cousin Moth has tried to one-up me, but I know that the legend of me will be larger than any moth. So I knew what I was flying toward. I knew what was in this area, the Venus Fly Trap. I flew down.

I landed on it. I have to say all this. Yeah. My bad. I landed on it. I have to say all this This is why I set up the scenarios so you didn't have to say it again This is why I set up the scenario so you didn't have to say it again. But it's part of it, alright. I was just sitting here like, uh huh, keep that one, uh huh, uh huh, he's gonna do something, right? Uh huh, the fly lift, sorry I didn't mean to cut off on your very extensive speech,

go on. I land on the Venus fly trap, but I've got my fly boots on, so I can get up. Huh? What? I have my fly boots on. I slip them off, and get ready. Like you land and your boots stick and you slip your feet out of your boots, and the boots step behind? Because this wasn't a trap for me this was a trap for it what do the

boots have explosives in them how is that a trap i don't know that's up to you man i took the boots off oh okay all right here we go i'll give you one sure there's no way no i swear to fucking god wade no what in the fuck is wrong? I mean, Bob, you're saved from having to recite all that bullshit. How in the world? How, how in the fuck? Ah. How in the fuck?

I'm gonna tell you, I play D&D every Wednesday on Lost Initiative. I have never had more than two 20s in a session, I don't think. Three out of like five scenarios? My character's gonna die next session because of this luck today. I don't think three out of like five scenarios I'm good my character is gonna die next session because of this luck today I don't know man it was the setup I like these scenarios man what I don't want to win like this I want Bob to do my monologue well he was the fly who lived so I guess

you know all right he died to my boots Choked on your boots and died, I guess. Your objective wasn't to kill the plant, it was just to survive. No, I wanted to kill the plant. I was with you, Wade. I was also working on a way to kill the plant. That would have been fine, I would have accepted. Would have loved to see that one. Alright, fine. Whatever. I didn't roll the dice, man. Maybe roll worse on my behalf, asshole.

I have one more. I have one more. I have a strategy Wade. I think it's gonna keep us in this one for a while. I'm gonna do stuff. Good. And monologue less. Okay. Alright, okay. Bob. You're Bob. Okay.

Just Bob. Bob is out on the top of a hill in the middle of a park. Lovely, beautiful day. Sun is shining, birds are mysteriously silent. There's a strange air rushing kind of down. That's odd. It's getting brighter too. That's even stranger. You look up and you see what looks to be like a second sun

that's getting really big really fast oh shit it's a meteor and it's heading directly towards you you're on top of a hill in the middle of a park meteors coming down on you how do you do this? all right i have a strategy everyone just needs to come along with me i'm trying to make this scenario play out for as long as possible

okay let's help mark the role worse, man. I look up, realize what's happening. The meteor is coming. I say a little prayer and thank you to the universe for offering me this opportunity. I strip off all my clothes and assume the position that puts my anus aimed right up at the meteor, fully exposed, and I get the most glorious butthole sun I've ever gotten in my life. Because I'm gonna need all the strength I can gather for what comes next. You think if Superman sunned his butthole he would get even more power from the sun?

Dude, can you imagine? Yeah, I can't. That's why he wears a spandex. I don't know if that was obvious enough, but my strategy is to get negative points so that we can't literally can't win it off the bat. You definitely don't get a point. I'm not sure if it gives you negative because... I basically surrendered to the meteor. Well, what if the meteor has like super empowering rate? It probably doesn't. What if it's a horny meteor and you just turned it on? So a smaller point makes contact with the planet.

Yeah, that's just gonna come faster. Alright, you want to lose a point, you lose a point. Minus one. Boo! Good. Alright, here we go. I'm sharing my screen for the roll again because if it's just a 20 again... But I got a minus one.

Oh, you're right. There's no way to win. You are totally right. There's no way this wins it One oh, okay sick a zero? I can't believe that. That's the dumbest fucking... Oh my god. Great comedic timing on these dice, I gotta say. Uh, yeah, it turns on the meteor, it's a sentient meteor, kinda like that in Guardians of the Galaxy, the planet was alive,

this meteor's alive, and boy howdy, is it aroused, it actually gets gets erect so it gets longer and harder and just entirely direct hit on your butthole obliterating you and the planet but more importantly you I'm picturing some beautiful fan art of this well it's not me it's just Bob oh no not you just uh Bob yeah Wade now you're also on the hill. I'm on the hill I look up to the night sky see the meteor night sky. It's definitely daytime, but go ahead Oh, it looks so dark where the meteor is I said it was getting brighter, and they're like there are two suns, but it's so bright

and remember I had the mug. I get on the hill, it's so fucking bright. I say hello for him, I strip down butt naked. I assume the position, I aim my butthole at the double sun hoping to get my butthole tan. All the while I've got my can of beans. And I begin feasting, preparing for what comes next. The old Futurama defense, I see. Never seen it. It's not exactly the same, but there's an episode of Futurama where all the robots fart in the same direction

to push the planet further from the sun to prevent global warming. It's like The Simpsons, it's like Futurama did it first. I mean, it's not the same situation, but yeah, it's similar. It's similar. Alright, I'll give you plus one now, it's actually possible to win. No! Wait, no, it's fine. I forgot. I forgot. It was a 19, but it's actually plus zero. Oh, okay. So that's still a 19. My strategy saved us.

Holy shit. I thought he- Okay. We're good. We're good. I didn't want to win like this. The beans didn't work. We're good. We're good. I didn't want to win like this the beans didn't work god All right, so no it didn't work you eat beans, but your digestion cuz you're upside down is slower It doesn't go down so no gas BAM still aroused All right, so Bob's due to roll a 2 next all right. I'm on the hill wearing my very, very dark sunglasses. I look up and I see a black hole coming. Wait, I take my sunglasses off. Oh, it's so bright. Oh God. I put on my normal sunglasses so I can see, but I can tell that it's light outside. I

say a little prayer when I realize it's a meteor coming right at me. And then I strip off all my clothes and get into the position and aim my butthole up at the sun. And then I start eating my can of beans. I call them my celebration beans. And when I'm done eating the beans, I remember my friend Mark is a little bit of a conspiracy theorist and a little bit of a prepper. And maybe he's got a solution for this problem.

So while I'm still getting some great butthole, son, I call Mark and I say, Mark, Meteor, launch it! Just to see if he has anything queued up for this. I love it. That's great. Okay, let's launch this dice. 15. Did I gain a point for that?

Or? You did, yeah, it's plus one now total of plus one. 16 ah he does know what you're saying and I am prepped and I'm I'm scrambled for it but I don't make it in time you're just shouting launch it now now and I'm like I can't find the key ah shit I always misplace that shit. Mark's swimming through a room full of servers and 3D printers, he's like, where's the thing? Oh, the goddamn launch, oh no. He's got his Russia prep, his aliens prep, his Moon Man prep, where's the meteor prep, damn it.

All right, but it doesn't work. Plows into your butthole once again, just annihilated. Annihilated your butthole and also the planet. Wade? I'm on the hill. It's very dark. I realize I've got my dark sunglasses on. I look up a black hole.

Wait, no, swap sunglasses to my normal ones. It's actually very fucking bright. I say a little prayer knowing now it's a meteor coming to destroy us all. I strip down, I bend over, I assume the position. position I started eating my beans while eating my beans. I realized mark I'll pull them up mark. I'm gonna say some eating my beans Happens immediately so I keep

You're going you're going back to the fart. You're trying fart part two. I'm still eating beans. I really stick into his guns. I feel like we're, we're wandering dangerously close back to Wade's not doing anything again. Look, look, man. You didn't say they're there. I heard they were celebration beans. I have not heard anything about these being magical beans super powerful government beans. No, they're just beans Oh, I'm a meteor prepper to these bowels have been preparing for years on my diet of chicken wings and beans man I wish you'd have said that in your action. No, I'm not giving you a point for a fart I don't need one watch this

I'm not giving you a point for a fart. I don't need one watch this It's gonna do it I think we all know it's gonna be a nat 20 again Appropriate all right so plus one means two poop a little so that it slams right into you. Damn it old age! All right, Bob, you're up. All right, I'm on the hill, wearing my stupid sunglasses. I look up, black hole, switch sunglasses. Oh no, meteor! I say a prayer, I get naked, I assume the position

and aim my butthole up at the sun. Never felt better than celebration beans. I started eating my celebration beans. I started eating my celebration beans, I started my face and I realized, what's up, Mark? Do you pepper? You know what happened? I can't work.

I was like, what? Media? Law shit? And I'm like, I don't like law school going on. But TV? V? And I'm fooling myself a little bit. I'm like, wait a minute, I have the President's number.

So I call the White House and I say, hey guys, there's a media coming. Do we have anything for this? Now I hope that the White House has something to save us. You're right. Yeah. I thought you said Wade's house. You said the White House and your mouth was full. Yeah, White House. I have the White House. I have the president's number. I understood everything

perfectly, everything. And everyone at home did also. Jesus Christ. Plus one point. Ha! Nine! You got plus two. that's 11, not quite. Not bad. They also are like, oh, where did I put those keys? Ah, swimming through all their documents in their bathrooms and ah. Throw open the curtain to the declaration of independence. Is it here?

No, close it up again, nope. Turns out they accidentally fired the only three people in the government that know how that system works and they can't get them back You're right. Yep. All right, wait All right. I'm on the hill. I'm wearing these really dark sunglasses There's a black hole. Oh wait wrong sunglasses. I swapped them over I bend over I assume the position after saying a prayer of course I bend over I assume the position after saying a prayer of course

Strip down fully nude. I'm sitting there eating my up! More! More! More fish! Hold on, he just blew up! I didn't do that! Keep going! Well, I think he missed, nothing's seeing to happen! What else can I do? I don't know! I'll call the White House! They got something for this! Hey, Mr. President! Media people! Throw something!

Shit! They didn't do anything either! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this!

I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this!

I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this!

I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this!

I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this!

I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this!

I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this!

I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this!

I got this! I got this! I got this! I got this Ah, played by Ben Affleck in the hit movie Armageddon, where they took out a meteor. So I call Ben Affleck and say, you gotta fix this just like last time. Oh, I farted at one point too. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Peanut butter is really bad for me. Are you eating peanut butter? Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, it was really sticky in there! AJ Frost was that his name?

Oh yeah that's a character played by Ben Affleck. Everybody knows that character's name. I'll give you a plus one for sure, for sure. Fuck we shouldn't have asked for this guys it was a five, um so eight shit we're gonna be here for fucking every- Alright, can we have- Bob, can we agree to stop the food bit now? Nope. Oh fuck! It's just- you just have to speed up, you have to speed it up, you just have to get through it. Alright.

Back to me? Yep. I'm on the hill. Boy, it's dark. Switch the sunglasses. A mania! Say a prayer. Get naked.

Butthole sun. Feeling great. Celebration beans. Mmm. It's dark switch the sunglasses a meteor say a prayer get naked but whole son feeling great Celebration beans. Oh Wait, you know what my friend mark. He's kind of crazy. I call mark. I like mark mayor What is it? Nothing I keep I keep reading beans and I fart and I poop on myself a little bit and I'm like wait the White House I call the White House and I'm like hey what the hell is going on here we are getting a meeting here.

Nothing happens and I'm like wait a minute you're doing anything fast and you're talking The good old Tom Fett athlete in the game with the Super 4 now! I'm not a space man, I'm Fred Athlete! And I regulate it's my job to fly cold rock on and run down the hill to the launch pad where the shuttle is ready to take me up and meet the media in space! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 14 plus 4 so close I feel like I should stop this because I worry about you guys choking it's gonna get close I didn't choke I just have a really weak gag reflex it just got me a little bit tickled the roof of my mouth I'm fine gotcha all right Wade I'm on a hill I'm wearing my dark sunglasses I look up black hole no wait swap sunglasses. Ah

Meteor meteor I say a little prayer I strip down buck naked bend over aim my ass at the sun knowing at least this will get some good back Black butthole sunning is the phrase. I start eating my beans and then I realize Hey, most of prepper. This is a barter call call mark. Hey media watch it my watches completely message. I'm still eating beans I let one rip. Oh, it's a little pool time I'm gonna go AJ frost mr. Frost. We need you I'm not gonna live! The thing that brought my... Chainsaw... Was the saw in the middle! Yeah!

Chainsaw? He said chainsaw! There's poopy everywhere! Alright, man! He flies up in the struttle, gets out with the chainsaw, and is gonna chainsaw it in half? right right yeah okay cool i didn't hear a thing from shuttle to chainsaw but all right no i was with him i got i got that one i got that one i'll give you one is we're at plus five please

six fuck 11 back to you in the studio bob all right All right. I'm on the hill. Dark, sunglasses, meteor, prayer, naked, butthole, beans time, eating the beans, beans don't work, oh Mark, Mark, meteor, oh nothing happened, oh White House, oh meteor, nothing happened, oh AJ Frost, oh meteor, oh very athletic, oh one guy at the hill, oh beautiful, I don't know anything. Oh my God, how did I just get spit on my glasses? What is happening? Does that count as a plus one now or is it still a plus zero?

I'm giving him a plus one because he's right up against it. It's gotta do something, right? Right in the chainsaw hole. And I've eaten so many beans at that point. We really have Oh man No, not like this. It's a 13 you're at plus 6. No! I gotta go back to the peanut butter now You don't have to do you could stop doing the bit. You did it

You know so I can't wait as fast as you possibly can wait as fast as you possibly can shorten it shorten it condense let's go i'm on the hill wearing the dark sunglasses black hole nope switch sunglasses it's light oh i'm in here so i grab my beans oh no i say prayer i stripped down assume the position i'm gonna eat my beans No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! I'm not saying I'm being... I'm not saying I'm being... I'm not saying I'm being... I'm not saying I'm being... I'm not saying I'm being... I'm not saying I'm being...

I'm not saying I'm so bad at this. I'm so bad at meeting you. You gotta do something, man. I hope you found the right person. How many cookies have you eaten in the last 10 minutes? I had two full plates. this is all it's worth! AYYYYY Mark comes through! This sounds fake. I rolled it. It was a 13 before. It rolled and did a 13 again. And with plus 7, you do it.

I found it. I launched my prepper missile blast out of the sky You jumped and the beans finally kicked in you farted to slow your descent back to earth you lived All right, that's it. It's done. I'm gonna give you the meteor point, but holy shit. I almost died you almost died We almost died Bob. What were you putting in your mouth this whole time? I have sugar-free Jolly Ranchers, I had a whole bag of them. I ended up putting all of these into my mouth

all at once at the last one there. But you spat them out, and it was either in the wrapper. Yeah, I kept putting them in and spinning them out, except for I have one in, but now they're all just wet. Yeah, I hate mine. Yeah, I wouldn't have done that. All right, Well done guys I we got what we asked for which is that last one lasted longer than all the other ones combined

I think but it went places that I am so I haven't laughed that hard in a long time This is truly one where the listeners win because if you watched Bob and I was all that shit spewing out of our mouths It wasn't pleasant. All right, I'm gonna add on to the wheel I think drooled the most is gonna add on to the wheel. I think drooled the most is a great addition to the wheel. I did drool. Did you drool a lot, Wade? No, I think you drooled more. I spat out more chunks of food. Yeah, but they were dry. See if it comes up. The amount of cookie and peanut butter absorbing my saliva, my mouth felt like the Sahara, man. I do think you definitely ate more than I did, so you that going for you Because I am actually I only actually ate one of these the rest of them

I'm just sitting on my desk in a wet pile Yeah, if it lands on drool I'll give that to you because you had all the wrappers and like saliva inducing candy That's the most damage I've done to my microphone in a single activity in a long time I'm gonna be finding chunks of thin mint and dosy dough wherever the hell these things are called for weeks to come I think it'll be worth it. Wade. I'll read your points first. You got a birthday point. Happy birthday Thank you. You won the ant thing by infecting everyone you wore a wooden condom to save yourself from being Eden by your mate both of those Nat 20s. You got the fly who lived again not 20 King here Yeah, I gave you a point for it's very dark. It's very bright AJ frost and then the meteor point

Bob you worked your wood you had I co I wrote this down as Wilhelm Mike Because I just imagined as it fell into the Wilhelm scream Post off maverick turtle legendary moth slayer of the player what the foot slayer of the Zorbo din land forgot when forbidden lamp layer of the forbidden lamp that was it you got point for launch it you got point for is that a black hole they made me live really hard okay three-sided die for how many spins of the wheel just one that does not look what you look very good for me at all I think Wade has a commanding lead nope actually it is tied seven to seven I'll be saved from myself

Bob can you pull up the the wheel and oh, that's right? That's my job spin it once This once No, I have no idea no I don't don't either. Ah, that's tough. We both said it some. Yeah. Mark, you're the ruler on this. It's either, I would say either respin,

or if you have a guess as to who said it the most, because I genuinely do not know. I have no idea. I've been choking on cookie for so long, I don't remember what happened prior. I feel like this game in particular is difficult to call this one, because you have to repeat

what the other said. We said a lot of the same stuff. Yeah, exactly. I feel like we should re-spin just because this would come down to a coin toss. And that's not what this is about. This is about earning those points. This is about fairness. Yeah.

No. Aw. No! Aw! Well, if you're the tallest. Yeah, we decided that between me and Wade, Wade is the shortest, right? Yeah, by like a fraction of an inch. I still feel like that's not like we're basically the same height, but we did decide that previously,

I guess. I do agree. We're basically the same height but but Post discretion with that and Wade being Fractionally shorter but still freakishly tall Wade with eight points and the most nat 20s of anything I've ever seen is the winner Thank you, oh Speech speech time Bob talk about your loss first. I feel like I worked really hard today.

I feel like Wade spent a lot of time actually doing nothing, actually contributing nothing, and somehow still was rewarded repeatedly for those decisions. But you know what? We built this constitutional republic to be fair and just. And I am in no position to say it is anything but so fair is fair, good job Wade. Alright Wade, winner speech. It was a good episode, it was a very fair and fun episode. The dice spoke, the dice said what deserved to be.

And I would argue that of all the inaction everyone's claiming I did, inaction in and of itself is an action. Choosing to do nothing is still choosing to do. But it was fun, I don't think I'll ever have that much luck with 20s again, but I hope I do. Because that was funny and wild and crazy. And also, if you're ever gonna escalate a bit, don't escalate one where you're putting something in you. Probably in any orifice. Alright, you heard it here first. Take that trolley problem. Doing nothing, still doing something. He answered it forever

Thank you everybody so much for listening in or watching this episode. Hope you enjoyed it. I sure did at points there I couldn't even breathe so well done guys Thank you for taking my experimental idea that didn't come through and man not gonna out of the park Be sure to follow the podcast for more this let me know what you thought of this episode on the subreddit reddit.com slash r slash distractible, one of the highest podcast subreddits out there. I think. Probably. Top 50.

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