Distractible - One Paw In The Grave

Episode Date: December 5, 2022

Wade's emotional rollercoaster of a story takes center stage as he explains the strange coincidences surrounding a close call with his beloved cat. Listener discretion advised (i.e., death, euthenasia, losing pets, etc.). Oh, and also Bob gives a fridge update. -- Grab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/distractible to get a Huge Discount off your NordVPN Plan + 4 months for free! It’s completely risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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For those of you listening, thank you so much for being here. You're handsome and or beautiful. But today's topic of discussion is a little bit heavier than usual. Revolves around the topic or discussion of death and various experiences in life that we can't quite explain, but go through anyway. So viewer discretion, listener listening nation is advised. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable, a Wood Elf production. is advised. in mucus, and Bob comes in with a new tale of woe in his fridge update, and the gents discuss heartfelt tales of veterinarian-induced miracles. Yes, it's time for One Poor in the Grave.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Howdy, everybody. Welcome back to Distractible. I'm your host today. I'm Wade, joined by my friends Mark and Bob. Howdy, boys. Hello. Howdy. Howdy everybody welcome back to distractible. I'm your host today. I'm Wade joined by my friends Mark and Bob howdy boys Howdy howdy howdy Oh partner, how do that's kind of a mr. Henke goes wild west I haven't even thought of South Park in ages. Oh you have is this still going? Yeah, I think so

sometime this year they did like a event that was like the 20th anniversary or something i didn't watch it well it started in 97 so 25th anniversary maybe uh that would make sense math wise slightly less time than simpsons i don't know i kind of like less time than samson's i kind of like fell out of it no insult to like south park like it is a very particular type of show um but for some reason i just like started to feel out of it because it was just like you you know when things get too topical yes yeah i mean it's like always topical and i get it it's like unique that they can do that in a cartoon but it was also just like

oh man i don't know funny you mentioned that today of all days oh cartoons all right but welcome back everybody welcome to the show this is a show where uh i judge and um choose a winner based on points that person judges the next one i decide the topic but before i um tell everybody what's going on i'm going to continue the horrible thing i just did of like laying out some foreboding warning of the topic today when did you do that before i do things my way this is my episode things are weird i do it my way so how are you guys doing tell me small talk words i thought you were gonna go into the no god no i'm continuing to build up i want to build up the tension even further i didn't even know what the first time you built up just wait it's coming my wait everyone's gonna love this yeah my yeah fridge no way it's happening and let me let me get worked up a little bit

my fridge i told you your fridge would have an update i could not recreate that if i tried no guys after everything i went through andy and i went through with all the annoyances and ridiculous bullshit fridge is garbage so i we have we have a um they're not sponsoring us yeah okay we have an lg brand fridge now they never will yeah we when we got the appliances because our new house didn't come with a bunch of appliances we needed like a washer and dryer and some and some kitchen stuff obviously we were like well let's all let's get all one brand it'll look all match it'll look great it does look great uh but we have an lg fridge and apparently if you own an lg fridge is specifically the kind I have where it's like the French doors on top and a bottom or freezer situation, they all do this.

Something about the way the fridge defrosts, the liquid that defrosts off of the cooling element of the fridge just like runs down to the bottom of the fridge. There's supposed to be a drain, but apparently the drain can freeze even if you set your fridge on the warmest possible setting because i've done this the drain can just freeze and then it's not a drain anymore then the water that your fridge defrosts and is supposed to be draining away just is water in the bottom of your fridge water and there reaches a point where that'll accumulate and you may have no idea for a while but there reaches a point where you open the fridge one day and you open the very bottom drawer and it goes and a wave of water washes out the front of the fridge onto your feet and you're all what you have to just you have to get towels and clean the bottom of the fridge of

like nearly a gallon of water like once a month water so it's a bad fridge and also it's cold the water is like just above freezing so imagine you have a fridge full of freezing cold water and the only solution is to get like a i don't know buckets and stuff and then take like towels or sponges and try and soak it up and squeeze it out it's really fucking annoying if i could get another fridge and wasn't terrified it would destroy my entire house i probably would let's get a new fridge yeah wasn't terrified it would destroy my entire house. I probably would. Let's get a new fridge. Yeah. Airdrop it.

We are running low on content. I have a catapult fridge delivery business. They could really use some customers. Does Amazon Prime have drones yet that can take a fridge? You need a fridge. Oh, God. Anyway, the fridge is ass and it's incredibly frustrating and, and it hurts my fingies, and I hate it. So I'm glad I went through all that to get this new fridge.

It was a sign at the beginning. Well, I know a thing or two about water, so virtual pat pat on the shoulder. I mean, the problem isn't even flooding the house. It's just like... Oh, it will. I didn't know I was buying a fridge that had so much maintenance, you know? Does your fridge need to be emptied of water? Once water tastes freedom in your home, it will seek it.

No matter what, it will seek more freedom. Yeah, my fridge is fine. But if there was a problem, it's built into the wall. So it'd be really tough to fix it if there is. And there are problems with it. Your fridge just stops working. It's like, well, it's just a closet now, I guess. We got more closet space yeah pretty much i mean if it did stop working eventually i would just knock out that whole area and just like make a bigger pantry or something i don't know oh that'd

be sick i could see that because for a fridge that's built into the wall it sounds really cool because you know like oh it's just like flush to the wall but the problem is it's not that much bigger than a normal fridge would be it's actually quite shallow so it doesn't go in very deep and it's just like impossible to do anything about it i don't even know where the plug would be i wouldn't know anything about maintenance about that thing so when it breaks it's either gonna take me out with it or it's gonna take out the entire like countryside nearby just wait rockiplier deceased cause bob's fridge is cousin what happens when fridges break i thought they just stopped working i'm just assuming it's like a fallout 3 level

anything you know it's like made with nuclear engines in it nuclear powered fridge i would not be surprised at this point and the thing is it doesn't even do very good because it doesn't make much ice the bottom drawer in the right side it has an ice maker but it's just like extremely slow it'll fill the entire bin of ice once a week like it'll take a full week to fill that bin and i'm like that's not normal that shouldn't be it but that's just the way it is you're gonna say a day and i was like a day is pretty normal that's not bad yeah a day would be normal a day should be, but it don't do that. I bought a separate ice maker just because I needed more ice. Is it also nuclear powered? It might be because that thing fills up its entire tray.

I can fill it three times a day. And it's like five pounds of ice it can make at a time. Is it like a countertop ice maker situation? Yeah, it is. Those smack. Those are great. And they got the little tubey ice. Oh, the tube ice is so good. Oh, it yeah yeah it's it's my favorite thing it crunches so good

which by the time you finish whatever you're drinking and then you can crunch the ice it's like the perfect meltiness it really is where it's like it's like a snow cone of whatever you were drinking yeah no it's fantastic countertop ice makers are so good yeah but i might just buy one of those like hotel level ice machines. You know, the kind you can stick your whole body in. What do you need, 50 pounds of ice a day? I mean, maybe, you know, honestly, I really like having ice around. You never know when ice is going to be useful.

If you need like an ice bath, if you ever like, or if I'm doing a lot of workouts or occasionally where I'm like, I just want to take an ice bath, but I don't have enough ice to do it. I'd have to go to the store and get 50 bags of ice just to put in my tub. I just imagine California like headline biggest drought of all time. There's no water anywhere. And they cut to an image of you with just bags of ice, like standing outside like a bandit, like I've got water.

You want to buy some? Everything I do is a news story to you. I'm like, come on, man It's an ambush Mark is at the gas station trying to buy bags of ice and the reporter runs up like sir, sir Do you know where the worst drought of the century? What are you doing with this ice? No, I just need an ice bath. I'm kind of sore

You're to hear first folks You know, I'm just I don't't know. What ice are you talking about? I just want to watch it, Mel. I'm jumping on my driveway. Dude, I'm going to buy another ice machine right now just because it's creepy, guys. Then you can have an office ice maker. Absolutely.

We're so sorry, west coast of the United States, but your water problem is about to get a lot worse. How bad do you think an ice maker is for the environment? Oh, you're going to use of the the poles worth of water the poles worth of water you're gonna put the north pole out of business with the amount of water you're about to suck do you think the ice machine goes to the nearest glacier and then cuts it into pieces in there uh-huh of course it does sure it doesn't freeze water three times a day. No, it goes on an adventure

to the poles. Okay. I'm the host and I determine how ice makers work. Doesn't mean I need to agree with it. Well, minus one point. I agree with you, Wade. Plus one point. I triple agree with myself. I'm too lazy to do math.

Stay where you are. Three times one. Three times. No time. Move on. Oh, God. Did I have to add it to the other negative? And a negative plus a negative is still a negative?

Oh, it's so complicated. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm glad that we started off talking about going through another horrible experience. Thank you, Bob, because that's a beautiful segue. You're welcome. Into, well, I guess this episode's all about me.

Welcome to the me episode, at least for the start, because I have a tale to tell. One that is unrivaled in my lifetime. I have never been through anything like what I went through recently. So buckle in, sit down, and if there's time to talk at the end, maybe I'll let one of you win. Or points will stand as is and Bob wins already. All right. A strong starting position.

I didn't realize how important this opening was. I might have agreed a little more. You waived your one opportunity of points, you fool. Oh, man. All of the points have been given out already. I never knew. I didn't realize. Should have thought it through.

No, I refuse. Well, if you all follow me on social media, then you saw some tweets back in the end of October, right before Halloween of some stuff I went through with our cat Keters. Well, Molly and I went through. I should say the whole family basically went through. The week of Halloween is a weird week for me. My aunt has a birthday that week. It's the anniversary of my

grandma passing away there's a lot of things that just happen on the week of halloween always and i don't know why but on this particular halloween week in 2022 our pets had a standard comprehensive yearly exam set up and dental cleaning and so wednesday morning what was wednesday's date even like the 25th i have to look back the 26th yeah all right this matters maybe well it might so the 26th the pets had a an appointment all three of them to be dropped off at a vet uh we had to drop them off at 7 a.m so for me as a night person i usually stay up pretty late sleep until like 11 or 12 getting up at 6 to drop off our pets kind of sucked, but whatever. They're worth it. We'll do it. Molly nor I could fall asleep that night. We were both very restless. We kept rolling around, couldn't get comfortable.

It was just one of those nights where we couldn't sleep. So around like 4.30 or so in the morning, I think we finally passed out for like an hour and a half. Got up at 6, took the dogs out, put our cat in the crate to transport took him to the vet Dropped him off went back home and thought you know, we'll get like five or six hours of sleep This will be great go back get the dogs in the afternoon the cat in the afternoon. Everything will be fine So fast forward to us getting home from dropping off the pets. We get home around 730 745 We lay back down go to sleep thinking we're gonna wake up I don't know noon one depend when our bodies let us after not sleeping all night.

But instead, my phone starts ringing right at 10 a.m. And I answer. It's like, oh, OK, it's the vet. So they must need us to authorize something. They like found a, I don't know, something needs to be done. Whatever. We'll authorize it. I answer the phone.

Is this so-and-so? Yes. We're calling. Is there something going on? We need you to get here urgently regarding Shadow. Shadow is our cat's actual name, like his legal name is Shadow. Everyone calls him Keeters. His legal name is Shadow.

He's like, we need to get you here urgently for Shadow. Okay, I guess I'll be right in. Hang up the phone. Molly, something's going on with Shadow. They want us to come in. Hopefully it's not as bad as it sounds. I go to start getting dressed, get another call. The vet again, she says, I need to emphasize urgently, please get here as fast as you can.

So now panic setting in because it's like, well, that sounds very bad. That sounds like a we need to get there for our goodbye. Hopefully he can cling on, kind of hurry and get here. What the hell happened? So instead of getting dressed, I grab my phone, grab my wallet. I'm wearing my pajamas, fly to the door. Molly flies to the door, put on our whatever shoes and we just go and as we're driving it's like a 20 minute drive we're both kind of like panicking trying to keep each other somewhat calm i'm driving on virtually no sleep with

adrenaline and panic setting in we get to the vet and immediately they rush us back to the back room which we've never been to before and they've got like four technicians and the doctor all around our cat on a table one of them is monitoring all of his vitals one of them is pumping oxygen with one of those like handheld like squeeze pumps keeping oxygen in his lungs he has like a tube down his throat everything is beeping and flashing red which seems pretty bad they all kind of look at us some of them are sniffling which also not a good sign and the the vet who maintains, you know, decorum, whatever, just comes up and she explains, you know, we put him under anesthesia to do the dental cleaning, yada, yada, yada.

He's not waking up. We have already spent 30 minutes giving him emergency drugs, trying to bring him back out of the anesthesia. It's not working. I'm not sure there's anything else we can do. We can keep trying the emergency drugs, but we have been trying for 30 minutes with them already i've been doing this during every five minutes and kind of like what do you want us to do and even though we were kind of bracing ourselves for this news it's still it's different when you actually get it you can try to brace as much as

you want when someone tells you your animal or your family or whoever is all of a sudden not going to be with you anymore and they want you to make a decision it's like keep going keep him alive help him please save him and this cat keeters is 15 years old he's been in my family since the beginning of my college career he was a very loner cat kind of did his own thing until he met molly when he met molly instantly became her cat it was wild the transformation he had in becoming her cat he was not like a super like needy attention and loving animal until he met Molly. And now he follows her everywhere. He is her shadow, no pun intended with his name. And I looked at her looking at him and it's just like, I told him, please try again. I was not going to have to make her make the decision, but I also

couldn't say, you know, take her cat away from her, take our cat away from us. It's our cat, but it's her cat. so they try two more times and nothing and molly looks at me and we kind of make eye contact and i think we both understand like well this isn't getting anywhere what's the point of making them use more of this drug if it's not doing anything so we nod at the vet they she understands she removes all the apparatus the breathing tube everything else wraps keeters in a towel or blanket of some kind and hands her hands them to us and um we're still holding it together i think we're both in shock and she says well his heart's still beating she has like a stethoscope she's listening um he's still breathing heart's still

beating the effect of the emergency drug that can just be all drug related doesn't necessarily mean that he's still himself fighting to stay alive it's probably the drugs that could last anywhere from you know a few minutes to an hour we do have humane ways of ending, you know, that process, basically like euthanizing him at that point. If you guys want to go that route, I will give you time to think and to spend time with him. And they took us to like a private exam room where we sat down in the dark, just holding our cat in our arms, wrapped in a blanket, who went in for a dental cleaning. And now all of a sudden we're waiting for him to pass away on his own terms in our arms it got very emotional the doctor came in about every 10 minutes or so with the stethoscope just to check his breathing his heart

all that kind of thing and he was still clinging for a while still clinging still clinging and we were there trying to figure out what to do she offered us at one point with options she said you know if we want an autopsy they can do an autopsy to figure out what went wrong. They can cremate, they can keep the ashes, send us the ashes. We can go home with him and bury him, whatever we want to do. We're going through all of this stuff, waiting for our baby boy to pass away in our arms. And it was awful. She said it could last anywhere from a few minutes to about an hour. We sat in that room for an hour and 45 minutes, holding him in a towel, waiting for him to pass on his own just i'm not the praying type i'm rather i think agnostics the term i'm not a non-believer but i'm not a believer i prayed i

reached out to my ancestors to god to anyone anything and everything everyone everyone that would listen just please don't take molly's cat uh we went through i think every stage of grieving in there and after an hour and 45 minutes we came to the conclusion that he wasn't waking up and he wasn't passing on and wasn't humane to leave him in this condition. And we thought, at this point, maybe not. So I stood up to go tell the doctor that we were ready to have him humanely put down. And as I did that, she opened the door before I could holding two syringes and she said she'd been on the phone with a couple of different specialists one of them asked if she had tried

such and such and she said no she had one more thing to try the odds of it doing anything were very slim but there was still I didn't let her finish I said try it please whatever it is just try it if there's a glimmer of hope we need it so he still had his iv port in his paw or you know his little arm and so she took whatever it was injected into his arm instantly you can't see a cat's color because they've got fur but instantly it was like something shifted in his color i don't know his glow i don't know i don't know what i'm talking about but something changed his tail moved his ears kind of like twitched a little bit. He like looked around and it was like he was waking up. None of us expected it. None of, nobody expected anything to happen. It was a, you know,

exhaust this method so we can say we tried everything and go bury our cat. All of a sudden he was awake and we all, our jaws dropped and we just flew. Instinctively the doctor turned, we turned, we flew to the table with all of their you know where they'd had him before and they started hooking him back up to the machinery to check his vitals monitor this that he started like angrily meowing and trying to get off the table they put like a clip onto his ear to monitor something he did not like that at all he was pissed we were in shock our puppies were also there at this point because they were supposed to be getting stuff done too so we passed by them on our way back to the table

They saw us and started barking and whining and me the way I process moments like this is I make jokes It's just how I cope. So I said, I'm sorry puppies I'll be with you in a minute, but your brother's a zombie and we need to take care of that first and I texted my Mom, I told her hey, we might need to come over and bury the cat Keter's didn't wake up from anesthetic. I texted my mom again and said, um the cat. Uh, Keters didn't wake up from anesthetic. I texted my mom again and said, um, change the plan. Keters is awake. Got to figure this out. And then after I told the puppies about the zombie cat, my mom texted me back. Oh my God, zombie cat. It's like, well, at least I know where I get it from. And we looked at the doctor. We're like, Hey, what do we do? What do we do? Is he okay?

Can we go home? What, what happens now? And she said, no, uh, she or someone got the specialist on the line They talked to them and they said you need to get him here now. Keep his head elevated Keep oxygen going into his lungs. We need to get him into critical care and at this point we have the dogs So I text my mom like hey, can you come get the dogs? Please come pick them up from the vet. We've got a rush our cat to the critical care facility There's a lot going on. So she came to get the dogs We ended up taking some time

figuring out how we were going to transport him what condition he needed to be everything else they got an oxygen tank ready and to their credit i think they pretty much shut down their facility for the day like nobody was equipped to deal with losing keeters and all the technicians the vet herself everybody there had said they have never had a revival ever they have never had an animal get to that point and come back so this was unprecedented territory for them they gave us one of their technicians we literally got one of their technicians to get into the car and ride with us holding oxygen to keeters while molly held him so his head was elevated and i had to drive another 25 minutes still on zero sleep after going through this traumatic experience of going through all of the grieving processes and then all of a sudden

not and that drive was kind of when it was all finally sinking in like i don't know how i feel experience of going through all of the grieving processes and then all of a sudden not. And that drive was kind of when it was all finally sinking in. Like, I don't know how I feel. I still, I mean, this is not terribly long after the event, but this is still a week after at least. I do not know how to feel. I have lost a lot of people in my life. My grandma, who passed away on October 24th back in 05, a day and 17 years before this incident, was on life support, and we had to make the call to take her off life support so she could pass away. That was very strong in my head. The day before we took Keters in, I stopped by the cemetery for the first time, and I don't know how long by myself. I have not been to the cemetery by myself

to talk to my grandma, my grandpa, my dad, now my uncle, and forever. And I went, talked to them the day before this happened, this was all fresh in my memory, day of, now my uncle, and forever. And I went, talked to them the day before this happened. This was all fresh in my memory. Day of, now it's Keters is on life support, has to be taken off. He's going to pass, just like with my grandma. Only he woke up and your mind, your body, I don't know. It's just not made to comprehend that switch in emotion. Adrenaline kicked in and I went from mourning to action mode. have to do this we have to do this we have to get him we have to we have to but as that adrenaline wore off like i was left so confused it's like was it divine intervention was it a miracle was it a bunch of coincidences that

happened in this week was it you start to question everything when you lose someone you question anyway but whenever you get them brought back um and he never fully died i gotta say he never fully died his heart and his breathing still continued even though it was very very faint and we all thought he was moments away from passing he never actually did but we were there we we were expecting any moment now his last breath will be taken and we're gonna go bury our cat next to bella who was his my dog growing up his childhood friend when he was a little kitten we were there and then he was back we're driving to this critical care facility we get there they take him back we sit down for an hour and a half the vet brings us into a room explains what's going on he's lasted this long that's a

good sign odds are he probably will survive however going through what he went through uh with all that liquid from the anesthetic you know in his brain the lack of oxygen possibly if his head wasn't up the whole time all these things that could have happened it may be like he had a stroke he may never walk properly uh he may need assisted eating he may be fine within a week or two he may never get his sight back he might every patient is different but you know with him and how long he was out we need to have some expectations as to what his survival will mean and at that point that point we didn't care we were just happy he was alive and he was sound like he was going to survive,

whatever that entailed, so be it. They let us go back and see him. They had him in like this big row of, they're cages, but it's all like sealed. So that way they can pump oxygen into these. And they have him like on a heated bed with oxygen pumping in. They'd wrapped like a harness around him

with all this monitoring equipment. His temperature was really low. I forget what it was at. It was like 91. His heart rate was between 130 and like 140 something. They wanted it closer to 160 or above. So all of his numbers were very low. They thought he would probably pull through, but the next 24, 48 hours were going to be critical. And if we got a call before like 10 o'clock the next morning, it was probably going to be bad news, which is not really what you want to hear when you're going to go home and try to rest because every time my phone buzzed or i thought

it buzzed i was trying to prepare myself for the he didn't pull through call it was miserable that whole day was miserable that night was miserable and then finally at noon the next day 12 30 ish i get a call i see that it's the critical care facility and i'm thinking okay this is around the time they said they would call it could still be bad news brace yourself either way i answer and i don't know what it is sometimes doctors just have this like monotone disposition that doesn't give away any of their emotion whatsoever so she started talking like hi am i speaking to so and so the owner of shadow you like yes yes yes how's the cat is he okay how's our cat oh well shadow's doing very well actually he's doing better than we expected oh thank god okay

sigh of relief now try to listen and um he was standing he was meowing basically he was himself they didn't know how good his vision was he wasn't eating and i said for him that's pretty normal he's a very picky eater finicky eater and if you have him strapped in a harness he's going to be miserable not wanting to do anything anyway and they said we could come see him so of course we did we rushed over to go see him and i think we tweeted out some pictures of him like with his harness on i can't remember but he seemed like himself he was very tired but he immediately recognized us he came and sat on our laps he actually ate some food for us and then they wanted to keep him for another 24 hours next day we went

and got him we brought him home and as of right now he is pretty much back to him his complete normal self he's on an antibiotic he seems to have his full range of vision motion he's jumping up to get food going and cuddling the dogs fighting with them whatever he seems fully like himself and all of this is still surreal to me you go through it and you talk about something enough times you start to lose the emotional attachment to it it just becomes a story you tell i am not at this point with this story yet i still have my stomach in knots thinking about it i i don't know how to explain what happened other than a bunch of coincidences that my brain wants to attribute a whole bunch of other stuff to. But I guess everyone and what they believe in will have a different explanation, which is fine.

But this was enough for me to shake my agnostic feelings a bit to the point where it's like, it was a lot of different things that came together at once on a week where there's already memories, things. And I haven't even mentioned one of the weirdest things that happen which could be attributed to pure exhaustion or just delirium i don't know but the night that we took him to the critical the day wednesday night basically after everything happened we took him to critical care facility i was in bed falling asleep and i thought i heard skittering like the cat running around which i knew was not possible because he wasn't there so I was like great now There's a raccoon or a rat or something in the house great

And I went to sit up to go look for the source of the noise and our Master bathroom connected to our bedroom has like this double door opening for some reason I don't know why they designed it that way, but they did we keep one of the doors closed one door open I don't know why but we do the door that was open is shadowed, right, because it's dark, it's nighttime. So you can kind of see the white door on the right that's closed, you can see part of the white door that's open. The black space in between, it wasn't glowing like a light, but it was filling up with white, like the door, almost like in a video game when you have a wall that you can go through or a door that you just clip through, and you

can like sort of break through and see through it, but then you back up and like it just fills out again there was something like that happening and i rubbed my eyes like okay i'm losing my mind i sat up looked still there i put on my glasses still there i got up and walked to the bathroom to figure out what in the world i was hallucinating and i walked through expecting anything to happen honestly and then nothing did and i just walked through the door it was the bathroom went back laid down but the pulsating whatever the i was seeing was not there anymore once i laid back down i have no clue what the sound was i heard running around that also stopped what that was how our cat almost died during dental surgery or not even surgery just a dental cleaning

or how he lasted for an hour and 45 minutes off of life support in our arms just to be brought back by something at that point and now is perfectly fine upstairs being an asshole begging for food all within less than a week's time i mean he has made a full recovery whenever the specialist our vet everyone said probably gonna have some problems, probably going to last a while. Maybe he'll make a full recovery. Probably not. I don't know how to explain my feelings on it. I don't know how to explain what happened, the weird shit around it, the timing of it.

There are so many different things. I also found out, apparently, we have a black cat. This all happened Halloween week. And I think October 26th was national black cat day So just a lot of weird shit going on this particular week that again all coincidences But when you live through it, it doesn't feel that way It feels different and seeing him there seemingly comatose in our arms as the vet tells us his heart rate is fainter and fainter and fainter And now he's not dead. He's fine

and fainter and fainter and now he's not dead he's fine that is the tale of keeters up till now he and the puppies are home getting along and all themselves you're gonna talk a ghost story the last 10 of your very touching and dramatic story that was creepy i meant to mention it in there but what was the wall it was like a dark souls ass wall was that what you were describing like with elden ring when you gotta go in the boss area and it's like a glowing wall but it's not even it wasn't even like glowing per se it was just it was filling out with white i i without seeing it yourself i don't know how else to describe it other than it wasn't like it was emanating some glow it was just like the door was closed door was wide open without opening or closing it was emanating some glow. It was just like the door was closed. Door was wide open without opening or closing. It was just either fully closed or fully open.

And it would just fill out like it was and then disappear again. And this was in the middle of the night or what's the deal? This was around two or three in the morning. And this was after you had lost a lot of sleep. I was on probably a total of three hours of sleep at this point. So there's a lot of me losing my mind, hallucinating things in here, as well as my brain circulating with all of these supernatural,

divine explanations as to what was going on. So I'm not claiming it to be like a pure fact that I was, oh man, I was so there. But the fact that I put on my glasses and I even walked toward it and saw the same phenomenon until I walked through it, basically. That's where it was

weird to me that's such a small part of the story compared to what went on with keeters obviously and as bad as it was for us what he went through i can't even imagine we were mourning him crying thanking him for being a part of our family i mean we if he could understand anything we were saying he was probably like i'm fucking fine just wake my ass up yeah he was sleeping he was just taking a snooze and we're here like snotting on him drooling on him crying on him like we were bawling i mean it was hard maybe it was the snot i mean who knows it could have been the curing properties of snot i i and not to make any kind of a joke about because it's a very serious story but the way you describe the doctor coming in like

you reach for the door handle then boom two syringes in each hand like just spread between the two in one but yeah oh i thought it was four total and it was like syringes in one hand no oh really okay that's she didn't use both i don't know what the second syringe was for right she came in with two she as far as i remember she only used the one again i was on two hours of sleep i'd spent two hours mourning our cat at this point i say two hours we held him in our arms for an hour and 45 minutes off of life support after he had already spent 45 minutes basically only being kept alive quote unquote with these emergency meds so this was two and a half hours into he's not waking up so it could have been one syringe but you were just like oh your eyes were definitely two syringes

okay gotcha she just tucks that behind her back Don't know if one was the kill and one was the wake up. I don't know what the second one was. The doctor comes in and is like, this is gonna go one of two ways. And I'm prepared. One of these syringes is the cure to your cat. The other, the death. You pick which one. One tells only lies, one tells only truths.

Right or left? Oh, you picked wrong. Yeah not yeah i don't know what the second one was i i don't think i'm imagining it but uh you know who knows well you gotta call that's the thing you gotta call the doctor and be like when you walk through the door did you did you have two syringes and they go no no no just just one one you know what that other syringe was for the other weird part about that I mean, she didn't have to call the specialists. She could have just allowed us to wait. Then he's not waking up, euthanize him, whatever. She's not even the normal vet.

She was filling in that day for another vet that was out for maternity leave or something. So she was like a fill-in vet who normally works that with emergency situations He works like an emergency clinic so who knows what caused Keeters to have an issue with the anesthetic I've heard that with older animals. It's not necessarily a good idea to use it like that So we're gonna find alternative means to get his teeth clean in the future obviously but She also wasn't even supposed to be the one they're taking care of him that day It just happened that she was and she just happened to have a friend at this other clinic She called it was the specialist that told her to try something else. There were just so many small coincidences in everything

I'm probably forgetting some but it was just it's so bizarre. It's so bizarre Have you guys ever had a situation where you thought someone or something was going to die and they just all of a sudden were fine I had not this was a first i've never had that i was gonna say i relate and i i have been lucky because i know both of you guys have experienced more like loss of family members and especially closer family members than i have a couple of my grandparents have passed away over the years and that feeling of being really like i know i know how i see the world at least where i am right now in terms of like religion and what i believe you know what happens when you die that sort of stuff but the the really close deaths in the family i've experienced that feeling of like questioning everything that you think you believe. Like,

and even though, you know, I wouldn't say I think I know them. I think it's hard to understand what dying must be like, what happens, you know, if you have an eternal soul or whatever, people believe a wide range of things, but it has always shaken that for me. I can't imagine what it must be like that Keter's like hung on and then came back. I definitely never had that happen. That's pretty insane. They'd never had a revival. None of the techs who had worked various amounts of years, this doctor who worked with emergency pets had never once had a revival.

Your story is not about this, but one of my in-laws, one of my aunt's in-law is a vet. And I have some friends who have gone on to become vets as adults. And part of being a vet that makes it incredibly hard is euthanizing pets because frequently when pets get sick, it's like what happened with Keters, where it's like, well, we don't understand what's, this should be fine. And they're not responding, you know, the normal way or, you know, pets get really sick because they don't tell you, oh, my stomach hurts. Oh, my leg hurts. You know, when a pet gets sick, it's frequently quite sick. It's advanced. It's, you know, late stage, whatever. And so I can't imagine what it was

like for the vet crew that you were working with too, that they, you know, they came to that moment and they're like, damn it. We have, you know know this is a sweet cat we have to put him down damn it and then all this crazy shit happens and then you leave with your cat and they're all just standing there like huh we did it i don't like what the fuck i don't know one of them will probably listen to this episode one of them actually listens to our podcast one of the texts there uh interesting um she'd complimented our podcast one of the days when i dropped them off maybe even that morning. So she'll get to hear our side of it told back. But yeah, no, they were all super emotional.

They all were very devastated. I guess they had lost a cat in the last week or two to something similar. And so, yeah, it sounded like they basically were like, hey, everyone else, we can't do anything for your pets today. We are not emotionally there to do that. And the specialist we saw had had a few revivals she's like well this is literally what i do so i've had a few of these it happens so it's not unprecedented that it happened but our normal vet had never had a revival and obviously i don't think people go through all the stages of grieving very often just to have the switch

finally flipped at zero hour i mean this was an hour and 45 and 45 minutes. We could have pulled the plug at any moment. At any moment, I could have gone in and been like, hey, come in, euthanize. It just so happened that when I stood up, and this is not an exaggeration for the tale, this is when I stood up to go get the vet to put down Keters. That is when she was outside the door with this miracle syringe of whatever the hell it was.

That exact moment that we gave up was the moment that that last flicker of hope entered the room. It's just so bizarre. And if you want to attribute it to, you know, God, coincidence, miracle, whatever it is, the timing of it,

I cannot emphasize enough was insane of how this happened. Insane. So my similar, but not quite the same situation is with chica recently i've talked about this before i'm not sure on the podcast but i talked about it where she had heat stroke recently while we were in korea so it was a very stressful time because we didn't know and i'm calling the doctors you never know and it's just like um you suddenly get this news like oh shit

your dog had heat stroke what does that mean uh temperature Uh, temperature 109. I'm like, how? And it's like, we don't really know. It came in like this, how long? And then talking with the dog sitter and all of it was just like a confusing amalgamation of information. And then when we started flying in, they said she was stable ish temperature still high, but she was at least awake in some capacity. Uh, but they had had told us basically we're not sure how long she was in heat stroke territory which is 109 so we're afraid she might have brain damage and i you know that's terrifyingly scary so you're like oh shit oh god what's going on um so we finally get back home and we're calling the doctors and they're like yeah we're just not sure temperature's still up her behavior is a little abnormal so we we but we have no basis because they'd never seen her

before. And so when we get there, you know, the doc says like, yeah, so we're gonna like talking about her and talking about her till reiterating the brain damage thing. And then, so, uh, we asked like, yeah, can, can she come in? Is she able to do that? I was like, yeah, she can walk short distances. Um, but again, you know, we're not sure where she is mentally so we're like oh no and she walks in the door and as soon as she sees us she's like ah and she recognizes us immediately and then she she can't really stand because she's weak so she flops down she's just like super happy to see us and we go like what were you what was uh well what made you think she brain damaged and it was like she was staring at walls just looking at nothing and looking at light i'm like oh that's chica oh that's her she's in there oh good girl

so it's like she's a freaking weirdo dog that stares at walls and like looks at lights randomly for hours at a time and they thought she had brain damage and it was just like a complete switch flipped and as soon as we knew that we were like oh my god she's gonna be fine yeah brain damage there she just had to kick a a lingering um infection that she had that was keeping her temperature up and that caused her to go to heat stroke so yeah so that was a kind of a a flip there where it was like oh she's fine yeah you're expecting something horrible and then like yeah yeah pretty much i also part of the story that stood out to me i feel like this is not a human doctor thing as much but i've definitely had it i don't know if vets don't get training in this or if it's just less of a consideration uh lexi has to get her teeth cleaned in that same

way where we drop her off and she's anesthetized because she has terrible teeth problems because she's got a little chihuahua mouth yeah and every time we drop her off you know i drop her off early in the morning and then i expect to call sometime around lunch or whatever to say like yeah she's woken up uh you can come get her at this time we'll have her ready whatever but they always call and like if i don answer, especially the vet tech or whoever is calling, we'll call and be like, hi, I'm calling for the owners of Lexi. The doctor really wants to talk to you.

If you could give us a call back as soon as possible. And it's not like grave, like you were saying, they were telling you get here. It's very, but they leave a message and it's always like on the fence of, well, it sounds,

they made it sound serious. Yeah. Like they weren't like, oh, she's ready. Come pick. They were like, you need to call. And the doctor really needs to speak to you. well it sounds they made it sound serious yeah like they weren't like oh she's ready come pick they were like you need to call and the doctor really needs to speak to you it's like you have to be a master of drama club and then go to vet school but then every time you immediately about

lexi please call us back the doctor wants to speak to you himself luckily for us every time i call and the doctor's like she's great i just need to talk to you because like we we extracted one tooth it was very infected or whatever and otherwise she's like why is this scariest thing that you can do if our pet is fine like and i'm just expecting you to call and either tell us she's perfectly fine or she's not just like imply that in the message or something have a cheerful lilt in your voice when you leave the message saying that the doctor really needs to speak to you it's good news yeah something because that's i've i've had that fear for sure where it was like oh it's it's like two or three in the

afternoon they haven't called yet i wonder if something went wrong and then you get that message it's like the doctor needs to speak with you why i mean and we've just been lucky because lexi is getting older the anesthesia i think is harder and harder on you uh puppies and cats we should have her on the podcast talk about getting older yeah definitely what's your dog's name lexi oh i see yeah i know well we did see alexi earlier today she might still be here let me check how soon can you come in so i guess in summary dear doctors and especially vets sound happier well if it's not happy then don't sound happy but if it's fine come on i guess their their idea is to remain neutral because like sometimes they probably do

have bad news they don't want to like only sound grave when it is or they're human and they just came away from another pet that didn't make it and then they're like your piss no excuses keep at least one technician out of the euthanasias for a day so you have someone who can make phone calls that don't scare the shit out of every other pet owner turn off the euthanasia 3000 for a second and make a phone call the injectotron can wait i didn't even mention this part of with keeters is i told all the keeters parts of the story we dropped him off at the emergency clinic around like 2 30 i think we actually left there around like four and uh when we got home molly and i hadn't slept we hadn't eaten we'd basically been awake since 7 a.m minus an hour and a half i guess if you count that we'd only slept maybe three hours total

We were fucking exhausted and fucking hungry and just devastated I order some food delivered because I'm a lazy son of a bitch and then I get a call from my mom who's like Hey glad you're home. I got texture. We can bring the dogs over. So we'll be there in a little bit That's a great sounds good. Thank you Ring ring. Okay, it's my mom again yeah what's up so ginger yes her face it's swelling like a lot take her to the vet i will call hang up call vet apparently ginger something happened her face it's swelling a lot according to my mom they're gonna bring her right in is that okay yes yes well that's fine we'll get some benadryl great thanks call my mom get her there please it's like bee wasp is she dying so keters can live it was a

trade of souls what the fuck's happening please like your brain does that like you know you can't help but have those thoughts of like oh god what did i did i make a bargain did i sell my soul to a demon what happened is this the monkey's paw part of the wish like you have those thoughts and then you know 20 minutes go by my mom calls they got benadryl their swelling's going down she'll probably be fine we're gonna get more benadryl you gotta give her some yada yada and just that was our day it was just like boom boom boom boom boom boom boom and then i don't know just our dogs and keeters are never allowed to even go outside to potty now they just they have to go in the house they live in bubbles they only eat hand-fed meats and i hear you yeah i hear you i just like i i totally get it's a stressful situation but i don't know if i've ever gone is it was this an exchange of souls like i don't feel like i have that much power

or the connection to that much power myself. I'm a main character. Is that what I'm saying? It's just like my man wouldn't go there first, but that was very funny. Yeah. Well, we've definitely become hover parents with Keters. Like we know we are and we're trying not to be, but like with everything that happened,

it's like we'll be sitting on the couch. It's like, oh, where's Keters at? Where is Keters at? And like, we'll get up and he'll just be sleeping on the couch. Like, Keters, are you alive? He's like, what the fuck? We're like, oh, where's Keter's at? Where is Keter's at? And like, we'll get up and he'll just be sleeping on the couch. Like, Keter's, are you alive? And he's like, what the fuck? We're like, oh, thank God. You know, this did all start, if you want to trace it back through the ethereal waves of power from you making the constant joke of my dogs are fine. Thanks for asking.

I know. It's from that. Ginger's had back surgery, a swollen face. Keter's died and came back from the dead. All because these fuckers that listen to our podcast keep asking, how are my dogs? Well, it's not them. You can trace it back a little. One more step.

It's you. They wouldn't have listened to me if they weren't there already. It's their fault for making me mean. Viewers, damn you. You're the main character. I'm the main character, viewers. Look what you've done. Viewers?

Whatever you are like subscribe ring that podcast bell i don't know what this topic is today i just i needed to get that story out there and whatever you all have to talk about you know what the floor is yours earn points uh i don't think there's time on the floor yeah can i just say time before we started this recording you were like well i want to talk about what happened to keeters which i sort of knew the gist of and so i figured it'd be like pets part two or like you know dramatic pet stories i have pulled up in front of me to talk about the uh plots like the cliff's notes plots of the movies homeward bound the incredible journey balto

and shiloh the children's book and i was gonna tell comedic versions of those things that happened in my life but that seems incredibly inappropriate now yeah i i had things like that were i had close calls but everything's okay and you know i was gonna read stuff like that so yeah i mean those seem really light-hearted and inappropriate against the backdrop also you said the story wouldn't be long enough for a whole episode and that was definitely not true i didn't expect it to be but we had some banter you guys talked about your pets and stuff in the middle wasn't just the tale yeah but that's a long story it was like a whole day of constant you know agony of what the hell is happening yeah yeah what the hell man god geez what are you using some kind of main character over here yeah i'm so sorry guys i didn't mean

to put you through this i will say a certain segment of that was kind of like i feel like a nightmare that a lot of people have and that i definitely have where he was taken off of the like operating table or whatever you call it and you guys were just holding him and sort of like saying goodbye yeah my grandmother that passed away had um alzheimer's and so it was not a surprise that her health declined she was she lived to a very old age and did really well considering that she had al's, but even fully having time to prepare for like, you know, where she was, how her health was, there was a length of time, I think where she was on life support. And I was not living at, in Ohio at this point. So I was like hearing this over the phone where, you know, my parents, I think, or her family, maybe her kids were in that moment of

like, okay, well, they told us she's probably not coming back. I'm sure that they did like brain tests or something, but that moment of like, do we pull the plug? You know, do we make this decision? How do you make that? And you literally had just made the decision in your own head. And the miracle that realistically doesn't happen, especially with humans where you know more if they have brain activity or whatever, but that never happens. The miracle of like, if you had decided 40 minutes earlier,

the doctor may never have magically arrived with the syringe full of juice that fixed it. You know, that's like an absolute nightmare of even if you know it's a loved one, it's a family member, whatever, you know that they have some disease, that they are critically injured. You know that, but you're like, what if I make the decision and the doctor comes in and that could save them? I get why it feels surreal, because it's very unrealistic. That's not what happens. That's the miracle that doesn't happen

in a lot of real situations. Well, one of the reasons we clung on, they didn't have an EKG, so they couldn't monitor brain activity on Keters. So this was all just based on heart rate, breathing, trying to look and see if he had any kind of visual response. There was a lot of guesswork around, like he's probably not coming back because they could not monitor his brain activity. I don't know what they would have found if they could have,

but that's what made us cling on so long was like, well, they said he'd pass in like an hour. We're going on almost two. He's still here. Does that mean something? And then like, you know, then it's like, no, it probably doesn't. He's not waking up. And like you go through these ups and downs and then we reached the lowest of lows just to have him bounce back, which it's very unbelievable.

Like, yeah. Yeah. If if it was written in a movie, people would be like, like yeah the doctor walks in with the magic syringe that oh it's better right at the last moment yeah right okay i would not believe me if i were anyone else listening to me tell this story that's how much bullshit that actually happened that happened all right you heard it here first everybody don't believe i wouldn't he said that don't believe i mean if i was a more callous person i wouldn't i'd be like show him on camera where is he how did this happen does chica have legs yeah that like yeah does chica have legs it's like what people believe out there is just

like where's her legs and i kept going like her legs are fine and i was like where are her legs like what people will believe and won't believe like what they latch on to is just like drastically different yeah i i would not have believed this story no i would have been skeptical of like okay well they're embellishing slightly i didn't need to embellish if it was a news article no one would believe it i'm an embellisher and there is zero part of this story i've needed to embellish because it was just that unbelievable every step of the way and again he wasn't in there for some emergency thing he was in there for a yearly dental cleaning and just comprehensive exam and blood work to make sure he was fine he had no symptoms of anything before going in he does have a couple teeth that need to be pulled but i am terrified to deal with that so did they like send you an after visit

summary that's like we'd love to get your review of our service and it just says on the bottom like i don't know if he's fine couldn't conclude anything that was very confusing i got an email today and the headline is wait thank you for trusting us and i can't see the rest of it oh god thanks automated survey system what an appropriate thing um i'm glad i didn't get that the day of because i would have been a lot more callous thanks for trusting us with your cat. How was our service today? It's like he's in a fucking ICU from a dental cleaning. How are you? Would you recommend our services to your friends and family?

Zero to ten. I feel like if there was any failure, it was on the overall company itself and not on the individuals there. I don't know what happened, but everyone that was there was so caring, so attentive, and they did everything they could, including letting us kidnap one of their technicians for a 25 minute drive to go to an emergency care facility. So if I have any complaint with what happened, it would be with just what they were told to do in the given situation and not on them as individuals. I don't know if there was anyone to blame. I don't really blame anybody. I'm just

thankful that they kept trying. They kept calling kept calling they kept caring They ultimately brought our cat back from a point where no other animal had been brought back from at their facility before It does sound like they were really sweet which you don't become a vet to get rich or something like that's not They clearly love animals, but they didn't even charge me for like the six boxes of Kleenex I think I used because I used a lot I was so devastated about him and I was so devastated about how Molly would respond to losing him and like those feelings are so powerful I know you were talking about crying that's not where my brain went go for it oh oh yeah our cat was dying and I went to another room I thought maybe the power of boners could cure him.

So I looked up the ferociousest of porn and my god, I will beat the life back into the air today. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Give me your best lotion and your finest tissue. I'm sorry, I apologize. I don't care, man, it's me. It was someone else, baby. I apologize to the people out there listening, not to you. Oh, who cares

it's my cat you can laugh it's like a J.O. crystal you gotta charge it up before it can bring the life back the power of healing jerk off crystals will save my cat's life oh yes yes I've seen that cartoon. Good, good. Which cartoon?

You guys need a tissue? I got my own, are you kidding me? I keep them by my desk just in case. Like I'd sit here for an hour without the tissues I need. Just in case things get too sad, I've got my J-O tissues right here. Call them the J-O-T's.

Good. Anywho. Anywho. Anything you guys want to talk about before I pick a winner? No, you've got to pick a winner, man. Good luck with picking wins. All right. Let me look at our points here.

Zero points to me for making up that entire story that no one will ever believe. That's definitely false narrative because it couldn't actually really happen. Gotta watch out with that. That's gonna be the new thing on the subreddit. Wade's a big liar. And the main character. Oh, wow. It'll just be like that Drunk Minecraft episode six.

I'll never hear the end of it. Well, when you pretended you were dating a supermodel. I went on a few dates with an international model sure oh wow we all believe you man you don't have to keep yelling about it somebody seems a little insecure i am a catch damn you and people recognize that sometimes okay i'm a main character let me see calculating the points well Looking at the final score. It's mark minus one Bob one. I can't believe it where did those boys come from? After my careful tabulations calculations and my multiplications I guess Bob wins by two points Wow Wow I really

Played the early game a little smarter there. You should have. Sometimes the early game, you can't bounce back in the second half every time. The first time ever, the first goal of the game is the game winner. That usually plays out here. That's it. Okay. Fair is fair. It matters.

Bob, victory speech. You know, it feels good. I had a feeling those points would pay off. I didn't foresee the whole distance this episode would take, but I'm glad I went with my gut and kissed ass to make sure I earned every last point I could. Yep. Oh, yeah. You've suffered the least trauma, therefore you deserve the most win.

That's fair. Feels right to me. As the main character. Damn it, I lost my title. I guess you're the main character for the main character. Dammit, I lost my title. I guess you're the main character for the next episode. Mark, you lost horribly and pathetically. Anything to say about that? I regret nothing.

I stand by whatever the hell I believed in that caused me to be so obstinate. Whatever that was. Yeah, I can't remember either. I just kissed Wade's ass. It was supposed to be like a minus four, but I didn't want to do the math. You're lucky it's as close as it was. Ah. You really shit the bed on this one.

L's still an L, so I'll take it. I'd like to see you put some effort in the next one, but whatever. A lose is a lose, guys. A lose is a lose. Yeah, but some are worse than others, and this might be your worst ever. You're right. Thank you. You earned an area point today. I'm the un-Main character. Well, I'm...

What's the opposite of Main? You're a tertiary character. I'm a tertiary character. You're the antagonist. No, even a villain's kind of a Main character. I guess that's true. You're the villain's assistant. I'm the red shirt of the podcast.

Send me down first, Gavin. I'll take on this worm. No problem. Well, thank you, boys, for giving me the stage, I guess I'll take on this worm. No problem. Well, thank you, boys, for giving me the stage, I guess, today to tell the tale of Keters and his miraculous whatever the fuck. Thank you, everyone out there, for listening. Hopefully I didn't upset too many of you with our tale. But I felt like it needed to be shared because it's...

I don't know if I'll ever witness anything like that again in my lifetime, and I don't know if many people witness anything like that ever in their own. It was wild. Thank you to Mark and Bob for being here and i guess giving me the stage to not let them talk much and uh we'll see about getting older in the next episode probably wow um find mark mark applyer bob my skirm he's on twitch marks everywhere i'm on twitch and youtube minion 777 lord minion 777 doesn't matter. Distractible, we have merch, store.distractiblepodcast.com and watch YouTube and stuff too.

I don't know, there's stuff. Anyway, see y'all next time. Until then, podcast out. Through the snows of the closer pole, the poor ice machine looked on at the vista. It was white and crisp, an endless sea of clear, pristine snow, dazzling in its simplistic beauty.

Little did his masters know what they asked of him, what it meant for their simple request. More ice. How could they know? The trials and trepidations involved in the sojourn. Ah, sorry. Yes, I'll shut up now. See you next week

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