Distractible - Riddles & Rhymes

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

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Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. For this week, the gents become utterly intractable. It's all phenomenally cunning linguistics, as the gents perform their verbal Olympics. Mark dubs poor Wade a massive tool, but who this round will be the real fool. Boba Jax rhymes, but not the riddles, speaking clearly without any jiddles. And Wade goes old world when he tries to tongue twist And the other gents wish he would not persist Yes, it's time for riddles and rhymes We hope that your time here will be sublime

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted And enjoy the show Welcome, welcome to our show Where distractions reign and insights flow. We are Distractible, a podcast crew here to entertain and inform you. But wait, who's this with me? A mystery unsolved. A co-host who speaks in riddles.

Their words revolved. They'll leave you pondering, wondering, what do they mean? But fear not, we'll decipher and make sense of the scene. Join us as we delve into topics so vast, from the weird to the wacky, and first to last. We'll keep you up, up, up,

upon your toes, with our banter, laughter, and quite clever prose. Distractible is the place to be for all things weird and wacky. And with our riddle-speaking host, there's no telling what we'll boast. I am going to step in now to ask a riddle. Are you ready, riddle answerer? What is the definitive answer that is neither yes nor no wait what hang on i was talking and laughing what did you say

what's a definitive answer that is neither yes nor no i declined to answer maybe i don't know if that's an answer that's the lack of an answer a lack of an answer isn't really an answer it's a direct response it's an answer to your query is that i decline and it's neither a yes nor no i refuse that response because it's a lack of a response it is a response all right there once was a man of wit and charm but when faced with riddles he'd sound the alarm, for he despised the thought of being stumped, and the idea of failure left him quite chumped. Oh, beautiful. Boy, am I chumped.

The riddlers tried with all their might to tempt him with puzzles day and night, but still he held his ground so strong, for he couldn't bear to be proven wrong. David's father has three sons, Snap, Crackle, and... Uh, David. Well done! So I do that this, I do, I understood the premise. I don't know why I forgot that everything rhyming makes it sound like we're from the 19th century. I can't fucking can't.

Well, what century is everything riddling? I don't know, I can't modern language rhyme. Like, come on. It doesn't all have to sound like it like it's a christmas story or whatever like god okay we like tits we like ass answer our riddles and you may pass perfect that's exactly what i actually expected well the problem here that you see uh go on is that i'm making it up with glee oh look the the the saying goes one of us speaks in riddles one of us speaks in rhymes but neither speaks exclusively in only that thing wait who's the host here and who's the not winner that's right we're the host and you're the not winner

okay okay how dare you establish the rules? I was more asking, really, but that's... Oh, go ahead. That's okay. No, no, no, you fool. I see you sitting there with all your drool perched so high upon your stool. I'm gonna build you a giant pool. If you win this fun, fun game game if you don't you're really lame

what belongs to you but other people use it more than you do uh lots of stuff your your door your other people use it more than you your name other people use it more than you your name i don't know how to congratulate you the rhymer probably should you you okay you're right i'm not the host so i'm not going to question this you're right you're not i guess you're only allowed to talk if you talk in riddles or in rhymes whereas i can say whatever i want the entire time and those two things rhymed with each other so don't even worry about it brother uh owning you at your own game boy don't you both feel some shame i want to tell you to suck my cock perhaps we start with some nice small talk uh small talk yeah well I always

talk about the baby he's good um what else is going on hold on oh okay does my small talk have to rhyme looks like Mark's taking a really difficult shit over there I went outside the other day and the sun really had

something to say. And sweat did drip down my brow and down my back and on my cow. A cow is what I call my butt. What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years? Once in a minute. This seems like one I should know already. Once in a minute, twice in a minute this seems like one i should know already once in a minute twice in a moment but uh that's uh your mom close it's the letter m which mom has too

my little problem i'll tell you is that this thing only reads in the third person boohoo. I can't seem to get it to ask direct. That doesn't make me very erect. Let me finish my rhymes you prick. I think you're a giant dick.

Well done. That's the best one you've had all day. I'm a small man baby asshole. Who am I? It's Mark! Okay, I don't know if I can keep this up. What have we done? I have to drink from this cup.

Maybe there needs to be some sort of break for context purposes. No, no, no. The show must go on. Okay. Hold on must go on. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Would you like me to say a few words, Mark? No, no, no. You cannot say.

You sit there. You will stay. While Mark tries to figure out his words. Never mind. He's got one. Come one, come all to this game of the mind where riddles and puzzles you'll surely find. A challenge awaits with each passing round, and points are earned when the answer is found.

With clues both clever and cryptic, too, your brain will be put to the test anew. But don't be afraid, for the thrill is real when the riddle is solved. It's quite the deal. For every answer, you'll earn some points and the closer you get, the more it points. The winner is crowned with the highest score and the thrill of victory you'll certainly adore.

So sharpen your wits and get ready to play, for the riddles await both night and day. Earn those points and don't be shy, for the game of the riddles is quite high. Uh, hi diddly dee, a riddle I have

for thee. You don't have to rhyme! In fact, it makes more sense if you don't rhyme! I'm trying to be riddle-y. I don't know what riddle-y people act like. Does the saying say both of us speak in rhymes and one of us also says riddle sometimes? I was creepy and riddle-y. Why don't you go after him for writing point with a point?

Let Mark have his rhymes. He's working so hard for it he's not working he's clearly reading you can just nod no so i know what mark's doing right he's using a chat bt gbt or something he's using ai to try and make things right did it honestly give you that whole spiel did you get it to explain the rules of the game the way you wanted to in rhyme. Mark's nodding. Mark's indicating with a finger. He can't answer you without rhyming. He can't speak unless it rhymes, so he's kind of stuck.

One moment, one moment. The answer is good. Why don't you wait around the neighborhood? I have a riddle to pass the time. I sit at my desk, pen in hand, staring blankly at a sheet so bland. My mind's a blank. My thoughts are dim. I need some help to help me begin. So I turn to chat GPT, my trusty friend on whom I can always depend.

I type my request and hit send. And the rhymes come flowing without end. With ChatGPT's help, I can create rhymes on demand at any rate. From poems about love to stories of fate, my creativity, ChatGPT, does simulate. Stimulate! So I thank you, ChatGPT,

for your aid. These poems are long, I am afraid. With your help, my words are made and my writer's block forever delayed. From now on, when I'm I fucking love how even the thing itself is like sorry my answers are so long fucking rhymes are hard guys god damn i put that in i committed this

all right so mark is mark and wade are co-hosting mark can only speak in rhymes and wade so i so based on what you said rhymingly earlier mark i get a point if I solve Wade's riddles. That's how I earn points. Mark is nodding. Yes, okay. One word exclamations don't have to rhyme. How about that? You're allowed to say yes or no, or if you need to run to the bathroom, just say poop, and then go away.

Stuff like that. If I have to take a poop, I will just do it on my stoop. Fair enough. If I have to go a poop, I will just do it on my stoop. Fair enough. If I have to go pee-pee, I will escape the city. Well, you know, you gotta do what you

gotta do. There's different rules or whatever for Mark. Are you ready to begin the game? Your life will never be the same. I mean, yeah, I'm pretty, I'm as ready as I'm going to get, I guess. Have I earned any points yet? Because I did solve a couple riddles there in the sort of prologue mess that we were just getting through.

Riddle man, what do you say? Does he get points in that way? Sure. I can't answer that in a riddle so you can talk in things that aren't riddles that's not that doesn't make any sense oh uh then i'm you i don't think so i thought that was the answer to the riddle you were asking i don't speak in riddles or rhymes i just speak i'm not indistractable that's who you are tyler oh i don't know why he's the first one he's the only other person he's the main one all right i mean here you have you have some beginner points for the before times but here's your first

amateur point attempt where does christmas come before thanksgiving and you can ask me for a hint but beware my eye will glint oh that's very distracting i'm not i don't i don't know if i want glinty hints i'm not i've forgotten the riddle already could we hear it again sweet betty what was the riddle? Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? On a calendar that starts in December. No. Because then December is on the first page, and then November would be like the last page.

Christmas come before Thanksgiving. In all retail stores, Thanksgiving's not even a holiday anymore. You just put Christmas after Halloween's over, you put Christmas out. That's it. No. Two strikes have thee. One more guess remains.

Santa's sleigh and jingling bells are heard before the turkeys smell. Christmas comes before Thanksgiving. That's just how the holiday's living. Does that help you? Got it. The glinty eye really distracted me, but I heard what you said. Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In the dictionary on your third and final attempt

you have answered correctly it's lucky that i thought you'd give me three tries to answer that because i did i did have that too many requests in one hour my fate is pretty sour. Oh, no. Oh. I think this is worth it to hear Mark talk like this for an hour. Just to translate it into something that's comprehensible, I think Mark just let us know that chat GPT just told him he can't do any more queries for a while. So you don't have your little AI buddy to help you rhyme anymore. My friend is gone. My friend is done.

I'm going to make a hot crust bun. Enjoy. I'll keep asking riddles. All right i got so i got a point yes do i get more points if i get it in less attempts or should i i'll let mark answer he has to answer you get one point minus three it's only fair it can not be minus three Three bad tries? No, no, no. You didn't think you were too slow. I was, I mean,

okay, but I had two bad tries and then I got it right. No, you're correct. That is so true. Two minus one, but the other way too. Oh, no, that was a rhyming riddle. Oh, God. If it's not clear how many points

you have, we'll tally at the end. Mark's keeping good track. I'm going to stop asking Mark questions and just assume that I know how many points I have at this point. It's fine. Somewhere between negative five and fifteen. I have it here. The rules are said.

It's as easy as sliced bread. The wrong attempts that you make, from that you're right one, we will take one point. Yes, you do get that, but then two

points hit with a bat. Minus one you are left with don't ask me anything else you bitch you feel like he's gotten more aggressive since his friend left I'm unsure if I should feel

good or bad about this but I actually completely understood that and I now understand the rules that Mark was explaining and I don't know if that's good or bad oh god all right something something about that clicked and i was like oh i'm with him i'm with hit with a bat to end this game and therefore win in the positives your score must win

I'm gonna count it that rhymed that rhymed sounds are allowed didn't say that it has to be words why did they do this to myself I could have been riddle man an elf thanks man

alright riddle elf man. An elf. Thanks, man. Alright, riddle elf. Give me the next one. I'll see if I can get this first try here. This one's a doozy. I hope you're ready. Don't rhyme. Don't do it. I was just gonna read at this point. Okay, good. Okay. What eight-letter word can have a letter taken away and it still makes a word?

Take another letter away and it still makes a word. Take another letter away and it still makes a word. Keep on doing that until you have one letter left. What is the word? Eight letter word. You can just keep taking a letter away and it'll still form a word. Well, this is funny and I think it's wrong

but I won't say it. Go on. I'm pretty sure, depending on how you spell it, the correct answer to this one is... Ooh. I'm sorry, but that is not correct. I'm pretty sure 7-0 is an H, 6-0 is an H, etc., etc., all the way down until you just have the letter

O, which is of course the exclamation Oh! That is incorrect Mark, he was wrong on his first guess. I'm tempted there to give a point It was good, we could anoint. No Oh, okay

It was wrong and it was bad Alright, alright, alright, but it was funny Right? So bad shut that down all right all right all right but it was funny right so that was funny probably he literally i actually don't know this one i i know a good amount of riddles just from having heard them before but i don't know if i've heard this one would you like a hint yeah do i have to give the hint please tell me my eyes do not glint do you know the answer so you could help him i don't i don't think he does all right here's your hint this riddle would have been better presented to you at the beginning when we were beginning the episode i should say i have an idea there wade

dm me the riddle before it's played Then I can give a hint without my eye exploding with it. I will send it on your phone. I will send it now. Um, it's the beginning. Well, the word beginning doesn't really, uh,

qualify for what you said. Uh, commence, uh, initial. I really got nothing. I feel stupid. I thought I was going to be good at riddles.

This is a tough one. There's so many words, so this is a hard one. I'm just having trouble thinking of other eight-letter words. Hint me! If you were to run a race, a gun in the air would take place. Pistol is six letters.

You get a shot, a blank, you, a blank. You shoot a blank in the air. Starts the race. Is it starters? I'm afraid it is not. Star. Oh, I don't know what that one would be.

A start. You're very close. Start, start, start, starting. That doesn't work. Is that it starting starting tarting tarting hang on I'm getting there uh tin ray

trine yeah no I'm gonna go with starting yeah no that's probably it starting is correct you go from starting to staring to string to sting to sing to sin to end

to I. God damn it. That one was really hard. I don't know. I'm not a bard, but good God, that was a puzzle more than just a riddle. I will snore.

Don't you judge, you piece of shit. That's it. That was, I would say that was a riddle. It was just a really hard one. So the difficulty does not scale up as we go. The difficulty jumps all over like one of those workouts on the cardio machine where it's like climb hills and then it's just like

max you know so I'm ready I'm mentally prepared now here's how we can move and help you I'll give you a hint that is very true but only one every round and then the answer will be found.

Oh, okay. It's my turn now. Isn't it? Aren't you the host? I don't know. I was busy reading through my riddle options because I'm definitely not coming up with this shit on my own. I like how every time Mark opens his mouth, it's like a tortured experience. He's just like, oh, God, I got to rhyme.

And you're just sitting there like, well, Mark, explain it! Come on! I got a really hard job! I can talk freely, but you explained this. Jeez! Alright, Mark, you have been sent the answer to the next riddle. Good luck. You sent me a blurry picture!

Yeah, I sure did. I can't see it. What a fixture. Okay, okay. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him underwater for over five minutes. Finally, she hangs him.

But five minutes later, they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be? A woman shoots her husband. The woman is a photographer. her husband is a scuba diver with a noose fetish and so he's developed a resistance to strangulation by hanging from the neck uh and so he's just got a really he's got a lot of neck muscles it really supports the esophagus so there's no you know his larynx doesn't get crushed and he's fine mark how do you interpret this answer partial credit does not count you have to be right to get points amount okay so some of that was right uh she shoots him

i mean she definitely shoots a photograph or video of him go on oh she shoots him and then she holds the she develops the film by you don't hold underwater you rinse it in a solution to wash off the unexposed stuff nerd and then you hang the photograph to dry it so that the the dissolving solution drips off and you end up with the yeah okay so she just develops the phone but how do they go out to dinner together wait that's less never mind that's not really a riddle because she goes out to dinner with the real husband not the photograph but then later after dinner she comes home and has sex with the photograph and the husband's really upset about it a point for bob hip hip hooray it is truly his good day! You could say anything,

Wade. You don't have to sit there. As if you're paid. Thank you. Thank you for the points. I appreciate that. I just let you award points and leaving you hanging so you feel inclined to keep rhyming. For this round, Bob gets one. No minuses. His deed is

done. Good job, Bob. A pat on the back. I'm going to have a heart attack. Chat GBT, where did you go? I lost you in the blinding snow. Is this the best or the worst thing we've ever done on this show? No, you can't assess that yet. We're not done.

I still got riddles to solve. That's true. It's happening. You don't know if it's good or bad while it's happening. You gotta wait till it's over to make fun of it. Unless you're me, then you can be sad the moment you realize you've repeated a topic very, very recently. Upgrade to plus 20 bucks

a month. They're bringing me dry. I cannot slump. Where's my wallet? Get me my card. Then I will become the truest bard.

Alright, while Mark is paying for more rhymes, way to you. Oh, I have a rental while Mark spends his money on rhymes. Oh, look have a riddle while Mark spends his money on rhymes. Oh, look at me. My face filled with glee. I am ready.

Mark, here's the answer. Go away. I'm trying to pay. All right, I'll go. Go, go. Me go on. What do you mean? You, here, go and

eat a bean. Good. Do you have any more you'd like to say, Mark? Nope. He's looking at his credit card like, uh, can I afford that GPT on here, man? Alright, here we go. Oh, okay. you have me today tomorrow you'll have more as your time passes i'm not easy to store i'm not trying to rhyme this is

just built in okay i don't take up space but i'm only in one place i am what you saw but not what you see what am i i already know the answer to this one i'm just gonna stall so that mark has time for his purchase to go through so that when it's his turn to speak again, he has more help with the rhyming. I cannot pay. Phone number is wrong. Oh, no! An old account, it does belong.

You broke out, bitch. Oh, shit. I guess i can say ass bitch on this i don't know why i felt like i had to censor myself oh god well i guess you're just gonna have to talk in rhymes the old-fashioned way you're right you're right thank you my friend i will rhyme myself until the end. Anyway, the answer to Wade's riddle is memories. Mark, tell him what he's won. Oh, memories. That is true. Don't know the context, but boo-hoo. You get a point.

No deductions today. Once again, hip hip hooray. Aw, thanks, buddy. That's excellent. The total points I do not know. I wasn't paying attention. Again, the snow. I thought Wade was keeping track of the points.

I thought it was a team effort. Oh, no, no, Mark's got this. You're right, you're right. I say it's true. He lies. He lies. And his butt is blue. I have picked a number I think is fair.

Free, Bob. I accept this. But positive, negative is what it has to be he's had some deductions i'm certain of these yeah no am i am i above or below zero that's the that's the question you i think you were below zero but we gave some bonus points early on and you've gotten the last two or three riddles correct so right now i have you at a positive two oh that sounds fair i wish you had hair uh oh well i'm really good at riddles uh i think we're all seeing that and uh yeah i'm really good at not that there's a lot of competition i guess i'm just competing with myself but i'm really good at this game i feel like i'm gonna win feeling pretty confident all i need to do is not screw around or think of funny, funny jokes to say in response to your riddles.

And how hard can that be? All right. This one I'm prepared to read to you now. Does Mark have the answer? Are we good to go? Let me send him another beautiful photograph. Mark, are you ready? A picture is okay with me.

I'll receive it and be happy great uh good luck on that ah two fathers and two sons went fishing one day they were there the whole day and only caught three fish one father said that is enough for all of us we will each or we will have one each but how can this be possible i already know the answer. All right, next riddle. No points. What? No, no, no. You cannot pause.

That would be against the laws. I don't know it because I've heard it before. I know it because I guessed off the premise what it was going to be. Oh, great. Then go for it. It's a grandfather, a father, and a son. So there's two fathers and two sons but three men yes yes yes he guessed it right he guessed it with all of his might i don't think i've heard that before i don't

know how common or uncommon these are he is so smart with his big brain he doesn't need to explain that's a common riddle trick right where it's like there's there's eight people and it's like well there's actually six people but there's eight of, and it's like, well, there's actually six people, but there's eight of... It's a numbers trick, you know? I know how riddles are. He knows the rules of the whole sequence. He also has a big penis.

Well, if it rhymes, it has to be true, so... Riddle? Yeah, I'm looking at it. Look, man, it's hard to go... There's some bad ones here okay hey you could give me some easy points i have been and those have been the good ones all right okay maybe you should google hard riddle or go to open chat gpt and tell it to give you an unsolvable riddle i can't open chat gbt mark's card doesn't work what's big green and round but also fits in your pocket mark's wallet no there's no answer it's

just a trap oh suck it uh riddle time there's somebody at my front door guys is that a riddle no well i'm good we're good i'm good let's Let's do it. A man rode out of town on Sunday. He stayed a whole night at a hotel and rode back to town the next day on Sunday. How is this possible? A man rode out of town on Sunday. I forget the next sentence you said. He stayed a whole night at a hotel and rode back to town the next day on Sunday. How is this possible?

and rode back to town the next day on Sunday. How is this possible? I know the answer, but I'm so confident that I'm going to say a joke answer first. Go on. He rides a time-traveling horse. So he rides out of town on Sunday, but by the time he gets to the hotel,

it's Saturday, but it was the Saturday before, and then he stays the Saturday. And then he rides back into town on Sunday. Because obviously his horse is a time traveler. And when you're riding the time traveling horse, you travel in time with it through time. This is acceptably wrong. How is it acceptable?

Because I like it when you're wrong. You lose points. Therefore, it's acceptable as a host. All right. I'm less confident that I know the answer now that I've thought about it for a second. And I'm a little sad that I wasted that. But so he rode out of town on Sunday. He stayed a whole night at a hotel, and then he rode back.

Well, then the hotel must be three nights ride away from the town. So he travels for three days, stays a whole day at the hotel, and then travels for three days. And then it's Sunday again the next day. He left for the town the next day after he stayed, but didn't say that he arrived in the town the next day. That is a clever interpretation. That's like factually correct based on the language. Yeah, but this isn't facts.

This is distractible. So wrong. But that's not wrong. Technicalities will get you nowhere. You must think and more prepare. That's both a plausibly and semantically correct answer to the exact question you posed.

Plausibly, semantically, all of these things mean nothing to me. Okay. I will read it to you one more time. A man rode out of town on Sunday. He stayed a whole night at a hotel and rode back to town the next day on sunday how is this possible i mean did he stay five other nights

not at a hotel did he stay with his grandson in tucson and then just catch a motel six on the ride back to town so he stayed at the hotel on the following saturday and then rode back to town so he stayed at the hotel on the following Saturday and then rode back to town on Sunday? I can tell you the answer is five words long. He is a big liar. There! I solved it! That was three attempts. Actually, it was

four, technically. Oh, boo-hoo! Did not get that! Where is your big loser's hat yeah where is it you might want to give that did he quit did he get the answer on the first did he did you just do did you dick him out of it there did did you did where did my headphones go what's happening here oh there they are he said he was on a time-traveling horse. There. Bob, I have to tell you, you were the closest on your first answer that you had been in all of your guesses. It's a time-traveling motorcycle, but I assume he rode a horse and it was wrong?

No, you were closer on your first guess than that guess. It's all about the horse. The horse is a liar, and the horse is the one who told this story. The horse's name is Sunday. I feel like my answer is more creative than that. I felt so too, but this isn't about creativity. My answer was both correct and more interesting than that. I was excited to see your reaction because I knew you would feel cheated once I read the real one.

That's awful. That's like the answer being that he went to another different place that's just called town he left town spelled with an e on the end on sunday but rode right into town with no e on sunday wade wade we found his weakness make it not that obvious oh that's a good point mark and just to show you bob with some of the shit i'm going through i'm going to read you a riddle and an answer so you can see the kind of bullshit i'm sifting through here okay good there are two monkeys on a tree and one jumps off why does the other monkey jump too monkey see monkey do is the fucking answer that's what i have to work with compared to that one. That would have been

so much harder than any of the other riddles that you've done so far. You're just trying to trick me into giving you easy stupid ones. Who would guess that? That's a terrible answer. It's a terrible riddle. Oh my god. Okay.

If it's dumb it is more fun. Okay. Then here's dumb, it is more fun. Okay, then here's another one. I didn't mean to rhyme, but it just worked out. How do you make the number seven even without addition, subtraction, multiplication, or division? How do you make the number seven even without doing any of the four basic mathematical things to it? Wait, wait, wait. The answer, please. I feel like my mind is full of bees.

So this is a stupid one, right? So the answer is like, cut it in half very carefully. Is that your first guess? No, that's a joke. That doesn't count. Don't count that. No, don't do that.

How do you make the number seven even? You show it a mirror and it turns into 14. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like the answer to this is really stupid. Your first guess is wrong. Hint?

Can you do a hint for this? Is it hintable? He doesn't want to answer you in a rhyme. Chop, chop, chop was your first guess. That might have been the best. No. Oh, okay. There we have it.

No. Yes. Do you cut it in half? Is that your guess? What can you trim seven to be an even number allow me to read you the riddle again all right how do you make the number seven even without addition subtraction multiplication or division oh son of a bitch take the s off it see that's way harder than the ones where the ones where I just have to listen to what you say to understand what the... Do I get to take my stupid hat off for getting it correct?

Sure. I wanted Mark to answer to see how he would advise you there. But now the hat's off, the deed is done, and yet one minus one is not one. Or is still none. Is... Man, I wish I'd been... I wish I could do the rhymes. The rhyming is easy.

I now have you at a negative three points. Negative three points is not very much. Next riddle, my friend. We've got him now. He... How he'll get... Negative three points is not very much. Next riddle, my friend. We've got him now. He... How he'll get... He's not getting through this. How?

Beautifully said, co-host. Beautifully said. Oh, man. You know, it hurts even more when it rhymes, Mark. It just... You really cut me deep there. I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry. I'm not sad.

Why are you playing so bad? Oh, shut your hole. And you can't retort me because you have to think of a rhyme to do it. No. Gotcha there. That's right. I did say you could say single word. That's true.

Ha. Ha. Good point, Mark. Although I will say that was kind of like two separate expressions. So I think you need to rhyme something with your motion. I'll rhyme all my motions. Let me get my strongest potion. Wait!

Oh, okay, my turn. Are you ready for the next riddle, Bob? I don't even care if I lose. I knew it was going to be torture to force you guys to host an episode together. The worst part for Mark is, all of this is his idea and he chose which role he wanted. So he can't even be

mad at anyone but himself. When he said it, I was like, oh, he took the rhyming because that's easier because riddles are hard. He's like, you've got to search for the riddles, Wade. I've got the rhymes right here. It was better with my AI friend now over the barreldles, Wade. I've got the rhymes right here in my fingers. It was better with my AI friend now over the barrel

I am bend. Go riddle him! I'm getting there. I just wanted to let you speak, you know. I wanted to make sure you didn't have your time. Riddle him, please, right now. How many times can I rhyme with cow? That's a good question. Do you want to try?

I'm wiping sweat off my brow. I will tell the riddle. If 11 plus 2 equals 1, what does 9 plus 5 equal? 11 plus 2, well it's probably not a number trick. Or is it? It might be a number trick.

11 plus 2 is 13. i don't know why that would translate to 1 there are two ones in 11 9 plus 5 is that the right numbers 9 plus 5 if 11 plus 2 equals 1 what does 9 plus 5 equal does it equal 2 i'm sure that's the wrong answer i don't even want to guess that i just don't have another answer it does okay well i have no idea why then that's complete luck 11 plus 2 is 13 and 9 plus 5 is 14 which is one. So the answer is one higher because of the reason that you're going to explain to me, right? We will give a bonus point if you can tell us why.

I feel as if you could sort of walk in there instead of a rhyme. If you could tell us why. All right. 11 plus 2 is 1. But then 9 plus 5 is 14. And that equals 2. I can tell you 9 plus 12 equals 9.

Hint? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, hint me. Yeah, hit me. Look, look down upon your hands. That is where the answer stands. This is how fingernails do math. No, no, no, you silly bitch. It's just counting.

So you just count with your fingers. I think my hint of nine plus 12 equals nine might get you going in the right direction. But I will never tell you 9 plus 13. Well, clearly that equals 8. But I can't tell you why. Work your way around it.

Yes, yes, yes. Keep going, Bob. I fucking, I can't, I got nothing. I'm not getting there. Hands. I don't, I don't. I'm not getting there. Hands. I don't know. I don't understand. Tick tock, tick tock, there goes the clock.

Yeah, I mean, cut me off at some point. Jesus Christ, I don't know. I don't think he's taking the hint. Time? Why did you have me look at my hands? I don't wear a watch. It's a hint! That was a misleading hint! Sorry, I didn't hear the other part of the rhyme there.

It's time, then, is what this is. It's a clock. Wow, I just actually randomly got that correct. You got it right with absolutely no way of feeling like you should. Look at your hands. I'm over here like, what if you took five? That's why I said nine plus twelve equals nine because you get right back to nine again

and you'll never be thirteen. Pocket watch. There's so many options, you Sasquatch. You were thinking pocket watch? Anything. The wrist or hand. Hands on a clock, the answer stands. It was pretty obvious from where I see.

I can't help it that you don't be. Oh, God. Oh, I got, excuse me. I got sent the answer in a text message. And then while you were struggling to solve the riddle, I was like, I already know. I only exist here to help. I can't do it if you yelp. All right.

I've got another riddle to spare you both your pain. I got a point for that, though, right? Yes. You got one point. You're at minus two now. All right. All right. We're good.

This one should be easy. I'm doing this for the memez what's at least six inches long and vibrates and is more fun in your mouth i gotta say vibrates is definitely confusing me what is let me read exactly how it's written what's at least six inches long goes in your mouth and is more fun if it vibrates. That's a very different riddle. I like to bear the other way. What vibrates? Wow, you said this was easy and for the memes, and I...

I thought it was. It's big things in your mouth. Orcs and spoons go in your mouth. But why would they vibrate? I thought this one was relatively easy. I'm pleasantly surprised that it's not. The vibrating is really throwing me off. off i more fun if it vibrates yeah sure but that's still that that fact is the thing that i don't understand uh i mean my phone is more fun if it

vibrates because it usually means i have a text message or something i'm struggling to think of things that vibrate that you could put in your mouth. Apple Watch. Uh, sex toy. I think these are guesses, my good friend. No, I'm brainstorming. This attempt should come to an end. I don't know, man. A spoon? That's my official

guess. A spoon. A spoon. Well, tell him, Mark. What? Is a spoon correct? No. There you have it uh your hint is you want to hint it i'm i'm the man hint away i tried to give you the platform a second ago and you just gave me one word answer you asked if it was wrong not if i had a song. I don't know what... Don't think of a dick, you sick prick. It's only there to not make things sick. Only there to not make things sick.

To make things not sick. Yeah, okay, make things not sick. Vibrating is really still confusing me. All I can think of is tongue depressors, but that's probably not it. Those don't vibrate. I mean, tongue depressor is my guess, I guess. I don't want this to drag out forever. Tongue depressor is incorrect.

Another hint? Sure. A cleaner mouth, a brighter smile makes my oral care worthwhile. What's a toothbrush then? But it's a lot to assume it's at least six inches long. There are many sizes of toothbrush. I think they're all pretty

standard length though, aren't they? Because everyone's shorter than that. I used a collapsible travel toothbrush for years of my life. When you used it, wasn't it extended to at least probably six inches? No, it was about

three and a half inches long. I'm sorry. You were missing that. Oh, oh, oh that a toothbrush small but mighty too cleans our teeth and helps us chew but did you know the average length is just a few inches not immense it may seem short but it's just right to keep our teeth clean day and night and though it's small it gets the job done a healthy mouth is number one i feel like mark's rhyme just backed me up and that that's a very large minimum size for a toothbrush that's fine that's fine i accept oh oh answer answer yes, yes. I'll give it to you and put this to rest

Never mind, I am stupid. I've got nothing here Change didn't did oh Thank God Mark's got the AI back to help him That was now he's absolutely cooking up rhymes all right so how fucked am i right now yes yes i do one second i have to poo go for it i guess listen close i'll tell you true the length of a toothbrush it may surprise you on average it's seven to eight inches in size a perfect fit for old tooth cleaning tries with bristles firm but gentle too it scrubs away plaque to make teeth anew. And though it's just a simple tool, it keeps our smiles looking oh so cool.

Well done. Well said. I just want to bring up the fact that recently AIs like ChatGTP that do text generation have been caught fabricating criminal accusations against users as a way to lie to them to answer queries. So I don't know if it's really an authority on facts. No, no, no, that isn't how it be. I googled it first, there you see, and then inserted to the AI.

So you see, it didn't try. fine i accept that how many where how so what am i minus four now minus three or minus four but we'll make this a bonus round okay worth double points well if i get it right before you're done saying the riddle how many points is that worth double double all Double double Alright I can be cracked I can be made I can be told I can be played What am I? Ooh I thought that was going in one direction

And it did not I feel like the second half of this really narrows this down But then it doesn't drive very well with the first half But I guess I gotta go with time Time is incorrect Really? Would you like a hint? Yes.

Great, Mark, you're up. A witty line, a clever play, can chase our troubles all away. Oh, damn it. Okay, it's a joke. I got all hung up on eggs in my mind. Yeah, cracked and made. I feel that. Well, you dropped the minus five when you got it wrong the first time, but you got it right.

So you got double points, which is two. You're up to minus three. I appreciate that it's only double positive points. Classy. I figure that would give you a fighting chance. Mark, you look like you're pregnant with thought. I'm not willing to make something so grand without knowing the riddle beforehand mark's making a points offer to me say the next riddle and see if mark's into it all right i've

got to find a good one because most of these suck yeah if i did find a hard one because so far the ones you thought would be hard were really easy are you ready bob when never mind mark needs a moment to to think bob stood before his friends mark and wade a double or nothing bet was what they made if he guessed a riddle right on the first try he would win big. The stakes were high. But if he failed, he'd have to give up a prize. Two of his wins. A painful compromise. Oh, okay.

I guess. What if just to make, just to balance it out a little, because giving up two wins is harsh. If I don't get it at all, I give my wins. Am I giving them to you? One apiece to each of us. Then you go home and ride the bus.

Okay. What if I don't get it first try, but I get the answer within three guesses? I don't have to give you my wins, but I just lose the episode. That is fair. That is right. And then you go into the night. Please wait, for the love of God, I hope that you found a riddle that has an answer that makes sense in some way.

Mark, what do you think of that one? Give me a thumbs up or a thumbs down. Alright, here we go. And where do I get hints on this? No hints. No glints. Okay. Are you ready are you ready to mumble because you might not know the answer you might mumble under your breath to figure it out here

we go name three consecutive days without naming any of the seven days of the week well i already can think of a couple answers that would technically be correct, given the vague nature of the premise. But I understand that we've established that there is one correct answer to these things. Most holidays

have sort of like two days in a row. Uh, oh! Ooh! I might have this one. Alright. Three consecutive consecutive days no days of the week yesterday today and tomorrow mark what say you his friends mark and wade looked on with awe as bob outwitted every tricky flaw he soared through the rounds with ease and grace and in the end, he won the entire race. That's correct. Yay! Cheer, I'll cheer for myself.

All right. Woo. Mark, do you have a cheer ready for Bob? The double or nothing bet paid off big. Bob's victory was truly a spectacular gig. He emerged as the champion of the night, a true winner, Shining Bright! So not only do I win this episode episode but you each have to give me one of your wins right no we uh we weren't putting anything on the line oh okay just me putting a lot

on the line just for another win which i've done a lot but that's fine because i won anyway because i'm the smartest congrats congrats you are on top you don't have to do that still. That's not you. That's not your thing. I wasn't rhyming. I was just saying that. Tune in next week when I speak in riddles and Wade speaks in rhymes. Bob's torture will never... That's what would have happened if you would have lost. It would have been us again, and then I would have been riddling,

and Wade would have been rhyming. Well, then everyone is super happy that I won, I think. I'm just going to assume... I don't know i would have done this every time as i spoke i was not doing this every time every single rhyme i would have done this i could just see wade every every single sentence wade is like that's not right ha ha whoo try again it would have been blah-blah-bly-blue. Oh, okay. But it would have rhymed.

So, you know, can't fault you for that. Well, Bob, you have come out victorious. Do you have a winner's speech? I honestly thought I was going to do pretty well with riddles. I tend to do well with riddles when it's some sort of linguistic trickery. Like the whole thing where it's two fathers, two sons, that sort of linguistic trickery like the whole thing where it's two fathers two sons that sort of crap but the riddles where it's like just the random outcome is the answer and there are conceivable alternative answers to the riddle i'm totally fucked on those because my brain is just

like well because you said name name three day consecutive days i'll name you a day of the week, and I was like, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, January 2nd. Those are three consecutive days. Those are three days in a row. And none of them are days of the week. But, like, yeah, that's not the point. So I feel like I'm pretty lucky, honestly, that I happened to get

the last one correct, but I did worse than I thought I would. Thank you, riddles.com and 48 short riddles for your riddles. Shout out to you, except for having the 11 plus 2 on there four times. Hey, you know how hard it is to think

of 44 riddles and then say that it's 48? That one was supposed to be 100 riddles, the first one. The second one was 48 riddles. Riddles are tricky, okay, so uh let's cut them some slack mark do you want to give our loser speech since we lost i'm sure you do i don't see you free-balling rhymes all the time like mark was he totally mostly did it i volunteered for that part as we bid adieu to our latest adventure We hope you enjoyed each twist and venture. Our riddling host

kept us on our toes and our rhyming host brought prose in rows. From ancient myths to modern lore, we explored it all and so much more. From puzzling riddles

to lyrical verse, we hope we brought you joy and mirth. And though our time is up for now, we'll be back soon. This we vow. So until then, we bid you adieu. But not for long. We'll be back soon this we vow so until then we bid you adieu

but not for long we'll be back anew with more stories to share and mysteries to unfold as we keep the world distracted and oh so bold so goodbye for now dear friends our journey together never ends and we can't wait to see you soon for another adventure under the same moon. You can find us on our channels. We also have merch stored at triplepodcast.com. Podcast out.