Distractible - Shame, Shame, Shame

Episode Date: September 26, 2025

A walk of atonement is in order for the long list of people that Mark, Bob, and Wade have deemed the most shameful. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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exclusions details at team mobile.com slash home internet. Good evening, gentle listeners or watches and welcome to Restractable this episode. Meets loving Mark gives culinary tips flips chika, slam Sabrina and identifies ignoble

actions which a way endlessly pokes them all tosses leaky bob accuses God, then targets Travis and NMS. Blustering Bob smokes pork, lous hard carbon, bashes backpedling, and slaps Samsungites. From directed dumping on podcasts to Hummione's cocks.

Yes, it's time for shame, shame, shame. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted. and enjoy the show. Hi, welcome back to Distractable. Yes, I switched to my radio voice. No, I wasn't just talking like this a little bit ago. But are my friends going to call me out on this? No, they are not, because they're my friends.

And you're my friends for listening to this or watching it. Hi, I'm Markiplier, here to bring you another beautiful episode of Distractable. The only show that you'll ever need in your life and all the other ones that we're definitely above now in the rankings after my hit episode Drama Alarm Did you see the thumbnail for that one? Yes It's one where like Sam made me

It's like the Joe Rogan It's and call her bald Made me laugh so hard Oh yeah there it is I saw I had blonde hair And I was like it's too I can't look at this right now Oh yeah

What was it? What was it baby expert or dad expert? Dad expert yeah Yeah I was actually surprised that the last episode drama alarm came across so well. You guys were very funny and I told you as much. I thought it was good, but... We definitely didn't go down three spots in the ranking since then.

That doesn't count because it hasn't... The effect, the ripple of it. Oh, right, right. Those other podcasts are going to get here about it and then get angry. And then that's going to feed back into us, you know? Any minute now, TMZ is going to pick up the article, Mark and Dak Shepard drama, you know? It's coming. Archiplier and friends shit on other creators.

Such a meteoric rise up the podcast charts will never have been seen before. My strategy will play out and just, and also today is another extension of that, but I'll get to it later. Oh, good. Mark's 10 part marketing beef strategy. No, no, no, no, no, you'll get it. But first we got to, oh, I got to get out my point. I just love the idea of slowly turning our podcast. casting careers into a nuclear explosion so we go out we go out in style we can do that what's up drama

alarm nation uh 8% battery on my remarkable that's probably enough just don't write too much don't worry i won't know how you guys are i agree we'd get see a agree point which is weird because i think the last time i scored i gave you an agree point and it subtracted a point let me check that i think you gave him an agree point for agreeing with me and somehow it became my point Yeah, somehow. Also, I wrote that on a piece of paper and not this thing, so I can't confirm that. But wait, you got an agree point. So who wants to go first on their small talk? I learned a new way to smoke meat this weekend. Anyone want to hear about it? But you roll it, then you light one in. No, I was going to say bong. No, I always thought to, so all I have is a charcoal grill, just a Weber kettle grill, basic one. That's not me. It's whatever. It's a grill. And I always thought to smoke stuff, you had to, like, soak woodchew. chips in water or put them in like a foil pouch or there's a whole situation. My dad came down this weekend and smoked a pork shoulder and turns out all you need is big fucking chunks of wood and if you put them on the charcoal but then keep the lid on it

and manage the air, they just don't ignite, but they smoke. Anyway, my dad made the best smoked pulled pork shoulder. I've had in a while this weekend and it was real good. Did homemade pulled pork? It's okay. I elevated my steak cooking method because lately I've been doing a higher protein diet trying to lose some weight and get in shape again

it's going well thanks for fucking asking I didn't ask Bobby you're the source of my ire I'm giving you an ire point I'm glad you said something I'm going to tell me he looked the same but you already were mean so I thought you were looking shorter oh no you're losing height not weight

so I've been cooking a lot of steaks also I've been getting really good at getting deals at the store. You go right before closing or right after open and you wait, you watch the manager walks the floor with those coupons and the gun that prints

out the clear. Are you me? I'm going to get all the wheel bonus points this episode and I'm going to win. You guys are fucking hell. Don't even try to compete with it. Anyway, So you follow the manager around, and you wait for them to get to the meat section because obviously, like, meat's pretty expensive, right?

And I'm sorry to anybody that doesn't eat meat, but I do. And it's, you know, if they, if they, I've always said if there comes a day when they get artificial meat, good as good as stakes or even close. And it's getting there. It's getting closer. I will do it. But there was some information recently about how some of those protein profiles that they were talking about were not as good as they claim them to be. But I got, like, at the equivalent of Kroger's out here, a two pack of bone-in rib-eye steaks for like $7.99 a pound.

They were going to expire in two days, and I scooped up two packs of that, froze two of them, and then I started cooking again. And I used to, I used to them in the air fryer, right? To the bane of everybody who loves a good steak, I would cook mine in the air friar. It wasn't bad, but with A1 sauce, anything can be good. but I learned a new strategy recently is I pop it in the air fry at a low temperature, right? As low as it'll go, which is usually like 300, you know, that's not super low, but it's low enough because one of the ways that a lot of good restaurants or people that actually care about

cooking it, they bake it first to get in reverse sear. Reverseer, right? So while that's going, I'm heating up the pan to like a screaming temperature, like as hot like stainless, high carbon. What are you cooking on? Well, it's this newer non-stick. I actually invested in good pots and pans, and they're very nice. I don't know what they're made of.

But I did it once or twice in a stainless steel, and I've done it in a, the cast iron. Cast iron was best, but such a pain they has to clean. I'm looking for convenience. So I got the nonstick there, get it up to 500 something degrees with a temperature gun. I'm looking at it. As soon as it's ready to go, chase it with like a little bit of butter first just so it browns the butter because it's butter will browns so fast at the temperature. As soon as it pops in, slam that steak in like it'll. just go crazy, get the edges,

sear the fat cap, flip the other side, on the other side of the pan where it's still hot. Super brown, delicious. I'm actually making decent steaks. And I got this like garlic, rosemary rub. Oh, it's good shit. I've not had lunch yet, and this is the most painful small talk we've had in Ohio.

I'm just like, yeah? How good? Because baking an oven would take too long, but air fryer. Oh, yeah, yeah. Air friar, it is useful for that. No, that's good. Yeah, what a fancy restaurant?

runs and chefs do is suvide up to temp and then sear it after. But the air fire is good because it, at a low temp, it is like a, it's similar to suveid because it's like convecting, right? It's more, but I could see that. I could see that working. It's basically a convection of an end. It's like not as good because the heat transfer won't be as slow and even, but it's still not bad. And I know you're looking for convenience, but if you're looking for perfection on steaks on a pan, I got to point you towards high carbon steel. It's those black steel. It's those black steel pans and they like oxo sells a high carbon steel pan for like a very reasonable price so good so dense it's it has a similar capability to cast iron but it's a little bit more it's way

lighter weight because it's like a normal and it but oh i love my high carbon steel pan that sounds pretty good yeah it's hard to be the convenience of non-stick i do get that yeah best stick i ever did was with like i seared it first and then butter basted for like 10 minutes but that's annoying because You've got to sit there with it tilted for 10 minutes scooping, splatter and butter all over the stove. If you're doing it like every day, every other day, you don't want to do that all the time. I'm not doing that. I get good enough with what I'm doing. So anyway, Wade, you're hungry.

I'm so hungry. All right. And then I made some ice cream. Wade, do you like ice cream? Oh, no. I left my lunch out of the fridge. My lunch is not good. It's a, I pre-made it, pre-mixed a protein shake.

That's my lunch. Quick, tear down your wall of cushions. Sorry, don't mind me, gotta... Are those cinder blocks? What is that? Barricaded. Are those cinder blocks? What is that made of? Shush. Shish. Chica, go help daddy.

Oh, never mind. Chica cameo. Father, come back. Father. I was telling you guys this a little bit off camera, so I cheated. But a pokey rogue. New weekly addiction. I find a new one ever.

free week. The game's a year or so old. They're still constantly updating it. You start off with all the starters. You go. You just battle and catch, battle and catch. You get like egg voucher things that you put into a gotcha system. You hatch. You're trying to get shinies and legendaries and shiny legendaries because having shinies on your team boosts the quality of drops and stuff. You to increase a luck stead. It's a whole thing. I don't know. I don't know how many hours I've put on in the last seven days in that game because I can play it. It's a browser. You play on your browser so i can play my phone my tablet computer whatever it's everywhere i go you have to beat classic mode then you can unlock something called endless mode endless has an ending i found out i haven't

even unlocked it of all the hours i've put in i've not beaten classic yet i guess i'm not great at the game but i have a lot of fun with it and i did hatch there's different tiers of shiny you get there's like the common tier one tier two then tier three is the rarest and each have like a bigger boost the rarer the more boost you get to your luck stat i've only ever hatched one shiny but it was a shiny Articuno, which is kind of cool. Next time I win, I should just host an episode where I just play that the whole time and just make you guys talk and then write down some bullshit points. Another bit of small talk.

We were making steak here at the house and we didn't have like, we were trying to do something quick at night. So we had one of those like Bob Evans mashed potato pre-made thing just to toss in. And it was like the last one we had and it was like, oh, we were just craving it. It was like a garlic mashed potato. We were craving it. It was like, oh man, I'll pair this with the steak. Some green beans is going to be great.

Go to like get the mashed potato out. and it's not been sealed properly when they when they packaged it so it's been exposed to air it's leaking all the liquid is out we had to throw it away like we had the steak and it was like the one thing we wanted to like have the perfect pairing that we were craving and we had to throw it out and not eat it and it was the rest of the meal was still good but like it's missing that it was very sad no i feel yeah i feel i've i've actually had that before i'm like yeah i'm craving I was defrosting this piece of salmon this morning and it's going to be great

and by the time I get there in the evening I'm like oh I defrosted it last week shit that wasn't this morning at all and it's incredibly old so yeah I've done that before I give you a point for that mashed potatoes of sadness that's good I've got a green bean kick lately which are

apparently good for you I guess but yeah they're good especially if they're made right so neither you got the transition point, or the segue point, um, it was shame related. I was looking for something shameful that you were going to admit. Um, and I don't think either of you had any shameful actions. I'm bald. It's not shame. There's no shame in that, buddy. You gotta be proud. I'm tall and bald. Those are both admirable qualities in many circles. I don't think that you need to be

shameful for that. Did you guys see there was a tennis match where one of the tennis players, I don't know who I don't watch tennis but one of the players was signing things in the stands and this kid was all Oh my favorite tennis player Just like it's just a little kid And you know

The guy was wearing a hat just like mine Just like mine I'm not saying that I'm the guy in the story But it's not just like mine The kid or the tennis player The tennis player had a hat And so he signed something Signs something

And he takes his hat off And he hands it up towards the kid looks away expected the kid to grab it some guy big tall guy just like you way just kind of like you wow i just happened to have a new hat recently but he oink right out of the kid's hands uh the kid goes oh like a baby you know yeah be bigger kid you'll win next time you know it's funny you say that it's funny you say that okay because i want to read you because i'm skipping ahead but that's so funny because from the guy who

did this, subject statement, dear ladies and gentlemen, due to the fact that your hysteria is getting out of control, I have decided to issue a statement to clarify who should receive the hat. I emphasize that I won the hat because I am stronger, and therefore I am consciously keeping it.

I do not greet people sick with envy. Coach of winners. Peter Sizerke. It's so funny. You say that. I'm bigger, I'm stronger, I'm better The kid didn't win the competition Even though the hat was aimed at him

To be given to him as a gift I intercepted it Just like in sports It's mine, suck it kid Pretty much I mean I don't get where people Could possibly have an issue with this So Wade you're in the firm camp

But this guy is right Bob No wait I'm giving you a point for that You got like okay The guy was stronger period. Well, I just want to say, I think both Peter and Wade probably should lose that point, because the original statement from this guy was that was what you said. And he was immediately like,

I deserve that. It's my head. I'm stronger than that stupid kid. Yeah. Apparently in the last 24 hours, he issued a different statement where he was like, actually I've come to realize that what I did was I made a mistake and I was so sure because my kids had asked for an autograph

before and I was so sure the guy was handing the hat to me I instinctively reached for it and what may look like me stealing something from a child is actually me securing something very important for my own child

because of good, strong, parental instincts. I'm sorry, I hurt the boy and disappointed my many fans. Your fans? I don't know. The statement's in Polish, all I have is translations, and I have no idea how accurate these are, honestly. But it hurts for me, but I needed a needed lesson in humility. That's why I will be even more actively involved in initiatives

that support children and adolescents and actions against violence and hate. They won't be. man the back paddle of the week right there dude what is that dated that's on that's a Facebook post yesterday at 8 a.m. I assume Polish time so that's in like the last 24 hours but he's keeping the hat

he learned his lesson but he's keeping the hat no no according to the statement the hat has been given to that child oh wait no actually wait no it's just bad translation he was explaining like you know what the hat was supposed to be given to that boy, and I'm sorry to him. I kept the hat. I'm in Poland now.

The kid's not Polish. He's not even here. But I'm humiled. I'm very humiled now. There's no way to get this hat to wherever that kid was from whatever poor country he was from. This statement claims that that previous statement, with all the ballziness in it, was not even him. If true, not a backpedal. If not true, even more.

or epic backpedal. This guy was like, I never even said that. That wasn't even me. Those words don't even exist. Check the internet. It's all AI. It's made.

It's in your imagination. Right. I want to read one more statement that may or not be true. It's just, you know, text on the internet. Who knows. But hilarious. Dated one day before that statement you read on the 31st of August. Thanks to this hat,

I'll soon be on dancing with the stars. And what about you? you. Are you still crawling for minimum wage? No evidence that this is real, but God, I hope it is. I'll bet that kid can't even get a job. Anyway, he's also suing anyone that says anything negative about him for libel and slander. So we're all, Wade, you're being sued. I thought I was him.

No, yeah. Bob, you're being sued. Why am I being sued? I was giving him credit for his enormous backpedal. Oh, you're right. You're right. I'm being sued. Okay. We can all agree to that. I want to know what the truth is in all of this. What's happening here? I think he is a dick because you don't do that without being a massive douche, period. It doesn't matter what anyone says. Otherwise, he stole a hat from a kid didn't even remotely regret. And we've seen video evidence of this happening all the time. You've seen like ladies at baseball games of being like a yoink right out of children's hands or like someone grabbing. like right out like pushing a kid out of the way to grab it you know there's been tons of evidence of that so i do not doubt this guy whatever he had in his head at that time was like

ha mine get fucked kid so uh in the era of shame that's what the theme of this episode is we're going to talk about shameful moments in uh in the internet as it is right now if you've got any gripes against anyone or anybody could be podcast or other wise. I have one more, if you guys need to think more, or research more. If you need time. Do you need time? I need a second. Oh, yeah. All right, cool. I'm going to talk to you. Do you guys know Sabrina Carpenter? Never met her. This is nothing against her musicality, by the way. This is not what this is about. Uh-oh, here we go. Have you seen the music video for Manchild? I think I've seen clips. It would have been honest. I was scrolling on something, but this music video came out called Manchild.

right and do you guys know Robert Rex he's the chef yeah yeah the yeah I do I didn't at first but now when Bob said that it jogged the memories now it's back in my head I was like somewhere in this music video it's so hard to find him I can't even remember what time spampy was he's in this music video like Robert Rex has been in so many music videos as like an extra or a person in it he is like a music video guy he's been in tons in this particular one, his shot featuring him where he was dry, I believe he was driving some vehicle in there, was cut early. You barely even got to see that it was him. And I think that is complete injustice. And I am shaming Sabrina Carpenter for, oh, actually, I think it's in the beginning. It's like, it's like minute, uh, no, is that him? I can't tell.

I don't know. He's in this music video and he talked about it because it was a really fun shoot, but they didn't have him in it. They cut anything that was featuring him. Is he driving the box truck that you can't see the driver of that she flips off as it goes past? That might be him. I actually, I really like this music video, by the way. If you haven't seen it, it's such a fun watch with like really good usage of VFX to do absurdist things.

Really, really interesting music video. So if you're into Sabrina Carpenter's music or not, it's just a fun watch. So it might be that box truck. It might be any number of these vehicles, but it's just, ah, I felt so bad. Shame on Sabrina Carpenter for not featuring the star of that music video. And yes, above Sabrina Carpenter, Robert Rex should have been at the top of the building. It's not really embarrassing for her, honestly. All right.

Now, that should have given you guys time to gather your shame. All right. who's uh i don't let it bring my coin again oh you better hope that that doesn't come up someone's in violation of distractible code o317b and that's the second time i've done this i'll flip chica all right all right chica heads or she's she actually got head or tail man one of us is going to feel really bad when we call it then come here come here come here all right who's calling who's what who's heads who's tails i'm heads come on hop hop hoop hoop hoop hoop hoop hoop hoop who Okay, and flip.

So you can probably flip you, so heavy. So you could probably flip you, easy. Flip, flip, do, don't, don't, don't, flip. Editors, make her flip. For fuck's sake, just pick heads. Ah, heads. Waits, heads. Me?

Yeah, weights tails. Whatever's happening. We're going to start at the top, and it'll all be less exciting from here. But I'm going big at the start. Okay. I'm going after God. I was in college, had my laptop, typing on my lap a bunch. Apparently it's really bad wrist posture.

And I got like purple tunnel or whatever in my wrist. Been playing like Pokey Rogue, I was talking about earlier on my tablet, my phone, computer. I've been having like some pain in the this region of my hand. And it's like, why make such a great game if you're going to punish me for playing it, asshole, you know? Why isn't my body adapted to play it all the time? Why pain? Why hurtsies? so big guy upstairs not the best designer maybe hire someone next time get some help contract subcontract sure you can afford it

the rich guy upstairs ain't trickling down enough you know what i mean yeah people say eat the rich i think we start up top all right okay that's a bold start that's going to be hard to beat good thing. It's not a beating competition. It's a quantity competition. Bob? Wade? You know again? No, no, me. It's my turn again. Okay, so you got another one. All right, you guys know Sabrina Carpenter, right? Never matter. Got another bone to pick with Sabrina Carpenter. Did you know Rex, Rex, Rex, Rex, Rexy? We call them Rexis. Minus one point, minus one point for Rexy. Did you know Rexy? I know the name, but my mouth didn't say it. Uh-huh, what is it? Robert Redford

Robert Rex Robert Redford Dear Lord Nope All right Swing and a miss Someone pointed out This actually isn't

Isn't from me Amy told me About someone else Starting to talk about this Or multiple people Being like Hey wait a minute Sabrina Carpenter

Whose music is predominantly about Sex and you know promiscuity And that's fine No judgment there But especially like The style of music

is trending towards ninja sex party both in the musicality the theme was always there with like ninja sex party literally being about nothing but sex promiscuity and now

I never really got that from their music but if you say so oh you reappreciated for the art you read ninja sex party for the articles hey you know they do more of course and I'm sure Sabrina Carpenter but people are sort of say like

Hey, wait a minute. She's just doing the same thing that Ninja Sex Party did. Hey, and it's cool because more attention should be gotten to Ninja Sex Party in the first place. But shame Sabrina Carpenter for ripping off Ninja Sex Party. I will have another Sabrina Carpenter for... Shit would have come back around. All right. Bob, did that give you enough time?

Honestly, I don't have shit for this. I'm going to be 100% honest. You know, you could. I'm going to give you one if you want to take it. You could have a gripe against the... host for making you come up with gripes that you don't have yeah mark just assumes everybody has these common complaints that everybody has and i don't have them is this just a thing that's on your guys's minds is this like things come up and you're like wow they should be ashamed of that

no i'm just kind of bullshitting as we go along to be honest with you yeah i mean i was last night we were watching something and i was like hey man that would be that would be fun to talk about but i guess not it's fun whatever no it's not your fault it's me i just hate more people all right wait, who do you hate? You know what we're going with? Travis Kelsey. We've been talking to the music genre. Travis Kelsey, born Cleveland, Ohio,

went to college, University of Cincinnati. Plays football, Kansas City. Is that Kansas or Missouri? Engage to Taylor Swift from writing Pennsylvania. How many states and cities does this fucker need to claim? Just pick a place. Does he claim all those? Be loyal to a place, man.

You're engaged. You want to be loyal to a person? Be loyal to a person. place. Pick Cincinnati. I just love it. Yeah, we're talking about musicality and music. Travis Kelsey, you know. Taylor Swift, music, you didn't say that. Does he hold a large claim on all of these places? I think he owns all of them. He owns most of Ohio, most of Missouri and Kansas and now Pennsylvania. I will say what's interesting is he got an honor, not an honorary degree. I think he went back and actually got his degree in like 2022 from University of Cincinnati for something,

which I don't know if that means he didn't graduate. We were in the same graduating year. So we were, I was, he was there somewhere when we were there, Bob. Playing football, I hear. He got a degree. And as a guy with more Instagram followers than him by five million University of Cincinnati, uh, as the most famous alumni from University of Cincinnati, I think, I think that, you know, maybe a degree or two would be I thought they'd even like email us to come do like a caregiver speech for you know relay for life

or American Cancer Society or something I was like oh man I can't wait to do something for Milford or UC they just send me the alumni like hey you want to donate money and it's like I want to talk I like talk is it because I didn't actually graduate is that what it is you're the most embarrassing

famous graduate from UC because you don't have the degree you are that whenever they do this episode they're like mark a Shame. Hey, guys, I thought of one. You see should be ashamed for not giving Mark an honorary degree. Yeah, yeah. Can I actually get an engineering job with an honorary engineer degree? You assemble IKEA furniture all by yourself. You could engineer stuff. Look at your great soundproofing behind you. You put that together on the episode. Well, Jason made those, but I asked Jason to do it. So basically, you know, I engineered

him. So what you're saying is you should go straight to supervisor or manager. Yeah, you should be a managing engineer. Uh, but I don't think that they're going to give that to me. You know, you know, my eye. Something's in my eye. Quick, Bob, say your thing next while I deal with this. You know who should be ashamed? This is reaching back in the history of this podcast, but it's not to the company that people might expect in regards to a refrigerator. Samsung. Samsung should be ashamed because despite everything that happened in the Bob's Fridge episode being the fault of a different company or companies, the refrigerator that ultimately was installed eventually that did work, the one that froze into a solid sheet of ice in the bottom of it that I had

to chip out by hand once every couple weeks. It was a piece of garbage. Samsung either stop making refrigerators or steal someone else's design because holy fuck, how are you making refrigerators in the year of our Lord 2023 that just turn into ice it physically stops working and the problem isn't even technological it's the drain tube gets clogged

who designs a drain tube that gets clogged anyway I thought of one Samsung that's good fuck you guys also your your phones me damn also your TVs not not bad actually

but fine yeah not they're fine actually their latest OLEDs. I feel like an ass because I bought these LG OLED just recently for my mixing room. And then the reviews come out about the Samsungologs and everyone's saying like, wow, they're basically perfect. They don't get any burn in or anything in there. Like color accuracy is undeniable. For the price, it's almost unbeatable. And I'm like, well, fuck me then. Don't trust. Those are all the Samsungites. They're just filling it out. Sam Singers. Oh, it's musically related. Damn it. There I go. Wade.

sky you guys had one of the worst game launches of all time and then you continued to work on your game you continue to edit it you had all these big updates you just had another recent one and your game is actually very great i don't have time to play it right now could you've waited a little bit stop doing such a good job and making one every other company look bad two making my schedule look bad and three taking away from my productivity because i really just want to get in there and build a corvette because it has like the starfield kind of ship crater thing going for it but all good no man sky stuff and i just really want to play it but they always have to have their expeditions and their big updates at the worst possible time for me and in my universe i'm at

the center and their timing is bad there you have it uh i got another one bob if you need more time oh i thought of one it's beautiful out the weather is finally in that sweet spot in ohio where like it couldn't be better it was I was out today and it was like 73 degrees and sunny and warm in the sun but a perfect breeze it was like the perfect weather

and so I was like I know what it's perfect for I'll go get a car wash all the people who own car washes around me were like let's just do some maintenance or some shit and close all our car washes how did I go to three car washes and not get a single

drop of water on my car what the fuck? It's like the most perfect day for car wash in the history of Ohio and they were like nah we don't want money let's just close all of our car wash bays and do that shit in the winter I don't do this a lot I don't

take very good care of my car and that's on me and I am ashamed but finally once I was like let's treat this baby with some respect let's get a nice car a touchless car wash let's go to the fancy ones all closed fucking damn embarrassing

they don't usually have automatic car washes here out in LA but they did open one and Amy said it's really fun except they have an entire vacuum section in the back and if you know anything about LA things are sandwiched really close so it's like all the vacuum sections are right by this fence where it's

residential immediately after that it's like houses and apartments so all day those people just all day of day because of it. But hey, it's an automatic car wash. I have, I actually do have one. I want you, I want you to know this guys. I'm going to let you guys decide whether this is shameworthy or not. This is, uh, from the LBC in the UK, whatever the hell that is. It's not the BBC for that.

Anyway, Deputy Green Party leader admits to performing hypnotherapy to enlarge women's breasts in the past. Did it work? Wait a minute. I might be following. on the wrong part, but did that work? Well, I'll leave you with him quotes. He should, you know, he apologized for his past action says, it does not represent my work. It does not represent me.

This was 11 years ago. I wasn't involved in politics at all. You're feeling bigger-breasted. I, look, I don't know what his technique is. I'm not sure if, like, they go into hypnosis and he just gets a big vacuum and just puts it on there and hopes to suck them out.

I don't know. I'm making that up. Allegedly, by me. Allegedly, sure, sure, sure. I reveal the secrets of getting bigger breasts right here. It was 90-minute sessions, allegedly costing 222 pounds, UK, sterling. Currency, I was like, that's how much each breast weight at the end? Damn, they must have worked. God damn, can you imagine a 22-pound boob?

No. Anyway, he said he apologized. I apologized because I recognize that that can be offensive to people. but if it works you know I don't know what the average cost if a breast enlargement surgery is but 22 pounds might be a good deal you know are you wanting to go for your breasts or your penis

I don't want to go for anything he doesn't run it anymore but I'm saying the secrets are out there for the right price you might shame no shame you don't care my contributions are shit is that what you're saying that was pretty bad one you know I mean I guess shame but you know also

medical advancement I don't know Maybe. I'm just surprised that they haven't figured that out yet. If somehow it was effective, then I guess reach their own. People knew what they were signing up for. All right, more shame. Yeah, I've got one. Bob, do you have one? Hashtag. No, stop, shut up. Is it my turn? Yeah, it's your turn, Bob. Bob, you than Bob? All right. Did he go? He did go. Wait, he did go. That's what I literally know. I was here. I was here for that.

I have one from nearby me. Adams County Commissioner busted for filming only fans content in private helicopter there was apparently a video put out on YouTube Adams County near in the Cincinnati area by the way this is Adams County Ohio apparently someone did an analysis

of posts on social media by this elected official of flying their personal helicopter and it has a very distinctive green air freshener hanging in it and then video from an only fan

where the exact same air freshener appears in a helicopter that looks to be the exact same helicopter for only fans. I don't know what the specific content is, but it's on OnlyFand, so I presume it's not safe for work in some way or another. I don't know if it's, I don't know what it is. But anyway, shame?

Shame. That is a very clear case of shame. And how much is a subscription asking for a friend? Yeah, do they have a discount or something like a code? I think there's probably some kind of code somewhere. Yeah, I'm not sure. For a friend, unrelated. Are the little featsies of the helicopter included in the photos asking for a friend?

That's extra, but you can get that. They're wearing the helmet with the microphone. Asking for a friend. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's in there. Shame. Shame. Shame. With my credit card.

Okay, I got another one. Wait, you sit and wait. No, go ahead. Go ahead, go ahead. Trending hashtags. Do you ever see something like new rock band? And you're like, oh, that's so exciting. You look and it's like not a new rock band?

Just any of the misleading hashtags on any of these sites. I had one a while ago. It was trending for you. And it said, Mark is dead. And I was like, uh, what? I don't remember who it was. But it also, they weren't actually dead. It was just like promotion for an album or a game or something.

all these misleading like for you trending hashtags we should do it with hashtag shame on hashtags for even existing they're clickbaiting bullshit all right bob i say shame on you listener and or watcher for not going to the subreddit literally as of this recording posted 37 minutes ago joining the distractible subreddit book club because book one in the distracted book club It's dungeon crawler Carl, which I won't shut up about. So you better go join the thing and fucking read it so we can all talk about it on the subreddit. I'm sure that the subreddit mods will really appreciate the amount of whatever I just brought into their laps. Of our fans going to our subreddit.

Yeah, well, they're always, you've seen the shit that those mods have to deal with? It's crazy over there. I don't know what happens on the subreddit, but I want to make a declaration about the subreddit is I did it. I made the mods revoke that rule where you couldn't make posts about the episode the day it came out. You're welcome, everybody. I'm your hero. It was a big fight. Everyone was screaming, but I said, hey, I believe in what these people can make.

And yes, not a single post has been of any content or value that anyone has made since that rule got revoked. And there have been multiple redundancies of bullshit happening. but that's just the job of the moderators. I am welcome. Go to the subreddit. Oh, yeah, check out the subreddit. Yeah, Reddit. I have another shame.

School board in Japan fires teacher for working part-time job in a convenience store and made the teacher issue an apology to children for, quote, emotional damage caused from knowing their teacher has a part-time job. Shame. Embarrassing. I can't believe this teacher. embarrassing Yeah, here's the article

Written on Sorin News 24 By Casey Becile It's hard not to have a sinking feeling When you hear about a middle school teacher Being reprimanded for inappropriate behavior Was the educator involved in some sort of sexual improprietary involving a student or perhaps it was a case of physical abuse Teacher taking out their frustrations on pupils

By smacking them falling perceived disrespect Nope The teacher got in trouble for being in a convenience working at a convenience store. And apparently this is just because there's very strict rules in Japan about this, but also I feel really bad because the teacher had to do an apology for having another job. Yeah, the next day after kids said of the principal that they saw their teacher, the very next day, the principal of the school, the man teaches at,

made a trip to the convenience store and confirmed with his own eyes that the teacher was working there and confronted him about the matter. I don't fucking dare you, you piece of shit. And also, my student will not be sharing classroom supplies with the other students, you socialists. Hang on, I'm choking on my own tongue. Anyway, all right. Shame on whoever deserves shame. Wade.

That makes me think about all of the people that just aren't content with where they end up with and the social hierarchy by birthright and are trying to better themselves. Shame on you. Working multiple jobs. Why don't you just accept your life? lot in life. Don't try to improve yourself or those around you. Except where you are. Shame on you for wanting any more. So are you saying shame on both the pores for trying to get out of the poor place where we've, us three have designated them to be? And also shame on the riches for even deigning the other areas with their presence. They should stay up there. We should

stay up here, us, three, us, and then the powers should stay down there. No intermingling. I almost made a joke that I think I would have very much for credit, so I didn't say it. Go for hit it, man. Put your heart into it. We should all be separate, but unequal. Couldn't have said it worse myself. I'd like to shame me. Bob, you got a clear, obvious one here. It looks like Wade already is feeling the appropriate amount of shame. for that thing you just said out loud. I really am, yeah. Mark should get some splash-off shame

for basically forcing you to say it. Thank you. It's not just you. I didn't feel host peer pressure there, yeah. Okay, minus half a point for shame on me, but full point for shame on Wade. You almost got that full bonus point, but not quite. All right, now, you're real one.

Speaking of what Mark was talking about and not what Wade was talking about, school. You know who's a student now? and we all haven't thought about nearly enough in recent history, Emma Watson. That's right. Hermione Granger is pursuing a Ph.D. at Oxford University, Oxford College, Oxford University, but the shame does not belong to Emma Watson. Despite being a coxswain for the new third women's college rowing team at Oxford, yes, Emma Watson is a coxswain. No, it's not dirty. Yes,

You should definitely Google that and see if you get close on the spelling. The entity that should feel shame is the high white home magistrates court of Oxford, England. Emma Watson got busted for going 38 miles an hour in a 30 mile per hour zone. And that court suspended her license for six months. That demon behind the wheels was driving. She basically murdered every child in a three-month-old. mile radius by going eight miles an hour over the limit. Do you know what NFL players get for going like 50 miles over?

A $200 fine. I'm just going to casually not mention that Emma Watson somehow already had nine points on her license, which I don't know what she does. But also, funny story, the reason this court should feel extra shame, the actress who played Madame Hooch in the Harry Potter movies, Zoe Wanamaker, also on the same day in that exact same court high white home magistrates court

because she had nine points on her license got banned from driving for six months on the same day for the same thing that Emma Watson did because she got a speeding ticket so they had like a cast reunion at the courthouse yeah no I was unrelated I don't even know if they knew that each other was there but this court is targeting actors from popular movies of the last decade

and a half. And I won't stand for it. That's shameful is what that is. Okay. So what her previous offenses were, we're also for speeding and in the UK, it's much stricter. In America, I don't know about you guys, but I've heard this. Nine is fine, which is crazy to think about. If it nine over is fine, 10, you're mine. I've heard that from. Dude, in California, it's like if you're under a whatever, I swear to God, on certain highways in California, it was, I was doing like 85 and a 70 and I was like, I was like, holy fuck, I'm going to die because everyone else is going like 95 miles an hour. I've been in that same situation where it's like, I'm going with the flow of traffic. And in America, they have that kind of rule where you should match the flow of traffic, whatever

the flow of traffic is because going too slow is also dangerous. And people need to fucking realize it, especially when you're merging, there's a reason. and your gas can go. You know, you got to, you can... Shame. Shame on slow mergers. Yes, shame on slow mergers. I'm going to give everyone a point for that.

Shame on slow mergers. No, literally, I think if you go like 40 or 50 over, it's like a $200 fine. If you go over 15, technically can't it be like a felony? It's like, it's worse to be 15 over. It can become reckless endangerment or something. It becomes like a felony, but they have to choose to enforce that. And they often don't, is what I've heard, but... Actually, Ohio.

is the highest for speeding tickets they they give the most of any other state i believe that is it north carolina where they had the thing where they'll give you a ticket especially people that have out-of-town license plates they'll send you a thing in the mail where you have to make an in-person appearance or hire an in-state lawyer to represent you and the whole thing feels like a racket i don't believe north carolina is the only place that does that but yes that is the thing fair enough but the only place i've gotten a speeding ticket was indiana so um but she only had three other tickets before and it's by the fourth one is an automatic and she suspended license for six months on your fourth speeding ticket regardless of how minor the offense is yes and because they

they're like anything over and and admittedly I've accidentally gone 38 or something in a 30 before we don't usually have 30 is usually it's 25 35 but I've accidentally like turned a corner down a hill suddenly I'm like going 42 and a 35 I'm like oh shit we've all accidentally sped before right I accidentally hit 10 to 15 over on a regular basis on in Cincinnati there's tons of like pretty big downhills and stuff if you're just coasting not paying attention on a downhill and you were you already going I usually go five seven maybe eight over is like my normal range that I push if you're already going that fast and you're coasting down a huge hill for a mile and a half easily push it to like 20 over if you don't pay attention and tap the brakes or something like

I swear 471 has a time of day, I-471, where the average speed is like 85. Oh, God, 471. That bridge, that bridge over by Newport is terrifying because the speed limit's like 55. And the traffic has never, ever gone 55 that I've ever seen it in the decades I've been driving in this part of the state. No, that is like NASCAR drivers only. Every time I've gone to the airport down 71, you know, where it goes through the city and there's those tunnels where it's a flashing light like, slow down. Slow down. Anything.

Flow down. And then every time I go there, someone next to me passes me has to slam on the rigs. And I'm like, I see the skid marks on the walls from where people just like that NASCAR driver just,

I'm going to hit it. Use the wall. Yeah. No, man. It's the same on 75 as you get down by the city. The speed limit's 55. But if you're going anything less than like 6570, people will get up behind you and be like,

like you're under the speed limit. It's like, dude, I'm going 10 over right now. Holy shit. Yeah, it is. It is, uh, yeah, so shame on speedsters. And the people that will tailgate when there's no one left or right, they could just go around. So much shame. Also, Emma Watson should be embarrassed because she's getting a PhD in philosophy and that's just embarrassing.

Well, hold on now. Hold on. That is embarrassing. Hold on. Hold on PhD philosophy. Yeah, yeah. I'll give you a point for that. I'll give you a point for the shame on philosophy.

Okay. Wait, do you want shame on philosophy point? No. I'm giving you one. I'm giving you one. No, I refuse it.

No, I want negative one. I endorse philosophy. You'll have to flip a coin for that to work. I'm forcing this on you. All right. He's right. Tails you're wrong.

No, he didn't call it. I'm going to shame. Oh, you're wrong. P-H-I-L-S-O-S-O-P. I refuse this point. I protest this point.

No, I don't. philosophically speaking you can't do that that's unfair there it is all right you said unfair where's jika all right i got a i got a box here that's what i'll do i'll get this box it's pretty uniform boxes are designed to be flipped have you ever seen an amazon delivery driver boxes are just thick coins waiting to be flipped all right so it's a it's a thunderbolt cable box uh this is heads tails what if it lands on its side we've always had that rule and I don't remember what the answer was but we have we have a rule for that that's true there we go heads heads heads whoa what the fuck I win you don't get a point for that Wade

wow all right no point for Wade oh wait wait so does that mean Wade Wade loses a point for endorsing philosophy is that what that means or because that must be made I won't subtract a point that would be doubly unfair I'll just not give him a point but I'm scratching it out. But yeah, good job, Wade. You defended philosophy. Worth it. During the Volvo Fall Experience event,

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Experience event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explore Volvo.com. I think that has to end it there because my AirPods just gave me the sound that a do-d-d-d-d-l-were they're about to run out of... Shame!

Yeah, shame on the battery level, these stupid things. I think I was just in a bad brain space for this type of thing. I didn't want to shame anyone when we started, but then Wade really got me heated up, and then I felt, like, I found a groove. Wade, you always turn me on comedically. It might be the last time after some of the things I said this episode, I might be replaced. Maybe, maybe, but we won't know until we know the answers because it's a very close game, an extremely close game.

Wade, you have nine points, Bob. Yes! She could just farted. Bob, you have nine and a half points. All right. That's enough. It could be anybody's, but unless a half point comes up, I am safe from the tie wheel. Thank goodness for that.

Good thing there's some half-point ones, and those would never come up. We also have an automatic host wins. Is there? There is one that shows the host wins. Oh, man, the people really want the perfectest crime. I haven't is. I have no word on it. No, it's baking.

If we tie and we get the one-man show, our assignment will just be do that episode. All right. How many bonus points? That's the question, and the wheel will tell us the answer. Antico, why are you farting so much, you girl? Oh, three chances. What do you add into the wheel, sir? Let's say, add two spins.

I like that. Add two spins. Yeah, so it has to be another one, because if we would just add one, it would just be a re-spin, basically. So it would add two, yeah. All right, I'm going to shuffle that in. And we got three spins coming. A-ya, and so on.

Loudest. Wade, you were pretty loud, but I don't know if you were any louder than usual. Was either of us? I didn't notice like a particularly loud moment, but... Yeah. Nothing jumps out. Respin that one. All right.

Oh. It was one away from the host wins. Oh, man. I don't like that one. Who put that one? Least amount of sleep since last episode. I slept great. How'd you guys sleep?

I've actually added a new medicine and have been sleeping just awful. like four ish four to four at a half hours a night of sleep i've not been that bad i've been really good the last three days i had some rough sleep last week i don't think i would say i've averaged four hours that's yeah it's been not great all right well least sleep point goes to bob he's at ten and a half now all right here's spin number two come on host win no no no no no no no no i don't want it why are we both hoping for that i don't know honestly i think this because mark doesn't want it Most locked in. Wade, you won the coin toss. You knew your topics. You knew your shame. I surrendered at the beginning of the episode. Yeah, he did. I got to get that one, right?

Got to get this to Wade. You got most locked in. All right. It's still one point away. Host wins. Really pulling for host wins for some reason, because I hate Mark, I guess. I swear there's no, I can't fucking manipulate this. I swear to God. It hung on the one to the left of it. It was like, oh, I'm stopped. I know.

I know. You motherfucker. How is that possible? That's so desperately unlikely. We've had some crazy endings lately on this. We have, that's a 1 in 67 poll on that. It is definitely my season. I am definitely winning.

I'm winning this season. But it's like, all right, I'll come up with the most perfectest crime. Yeah, I think the universe is basically commanding you to do that episode. You're not busy, are you? Yeah, I know, right? It's only a three-hour special. All right, I'll get it, guys. I'll get it.

You both are giving Loser's Speech today, so if this is a sponsored one, the sponsor won big time on this episode's Loser Speech. Today's Loser Speech is presented by T-Mobile 5G Home. internet. Everything moves fast these days and T-Mobile's home internet keeps up. With their fast speeds, quick setup and budget-friendly prices, they make it easy to stay connected, giving you the peace of mind you deserve. You know, it was a hard-fought episode. I even won a coin flip that took a potential tie or went away from me before the wheel spins happen. Destiny, my own will, fade itself, God and his carpal tunnel-giving bullshit, they all deemed that I was meant to lose. And you know

what? I accept. Your loss, Crishing. You were going to win. You didn't. I, listen, if anything, I feel like I somehow won even big leer. Because clearly, Wade and I were both trying desperately to lose this episode. At the end of it all, when I was totally up for grabs, neither of us could have won. We were both rooting for the one chance that we had to make Mark win for some reason.

At the beginning of the episode, Mark declared a topic, and I said, I have nothing. turn and I was actively throwing, I feel like I got exactly what I was trying to get. I just don't know why that's what I was trying to manifest into the universe. Now I feel kind of bad. I don't. I just really like losing, I think. I'm getting a taste for it, you know. I hope we go lower on the podcast charts.

That helps me better for me. Come on. We're all got the show of things to get back up into the top of time. Come on. Lose your speech over. Balls, too, and whatever it takes. Top 10. Today's lizard speech was presented by T-Mobile's 5G home internet.

So if you're looking for internet that keeps up with you, connect the T-Mobile Home Internet for their fast 5G speeds, easy 15 minutes set up, and five-year price guarantee. Stay connected in a world that never slows down. Visit T-Mobile.com slash home internet to check availability. We all had our fun, but I think we can all agree that we have the only original podcast on this entire chart. At least we can say that.

Every other podcast is just a rehash of the same thing. It's either three dudes talking or it's three girls talking or it's like some crime thing or they're reading Reddit stories. We have a game show involved and that's what sets us apart. We are original. We are great. I'm a winner and therefore we're all a winner except you're not and it's just me. Thank you me for letting me win.

I did this all through my own skill. And I'll say, I think I contributed more shame articles than you guys did anyway. So I think I deserve it win. Why are you barricaded in a closet? I'm not in a closet. Just because there's no windows in here doesn't make it a closet. He's hiding in his secret place. Don't call him out.

Thank you, everybody, for launching us into the stratosphere up the charts. I know that it's a delayed reaction from when that episode came out, but you guys are pounding the pavement. You're sharing those clips. You're spreading the word. You're getting the funny out. Every drap of funny. Don't make fun of me.

Every drape if any. I'm Markiplier. That's my scrim. That's Lord Dominion 7777. None of us regret our user's name. And we definitely don't regret the name of this podcast. Say it with me, everybody at home, chant it with fists in the air. I don't care if you're on the road or whatever.

Two fists up, like that guy from Prometheus went before he rammed his ship into the alien ship. What did he say? Actually, I haven't seen that. He went, yeah. So everybody go, Oh, the name of the podcast. Distractable! Up yours!

But that's what the guy says that Rams is playing into the alien ship on... No, he said I'm back. He does, but then he also says up yours. He says both. Which does he say more of? He says that, but at one point it's like, in the words of my generation, up yours. Oh, I guess he does. Anyway, bye.

Podcast out.