Distractible - Size Matters (Part 2)

Episode Date: December 15, 2025

The ultimate test of endurance returns as Mark once again puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test. Reserve your ticket now at ironlung.com. Only in theaters January 30, 2026. Order now at ⁠pandaexpress.com⁠ or a store near you. Visit www.rocketmoney.com/Distractible Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Uber One. Do you remember when we used to go get chicken wings, Mark? I know that occasionally I would be like my college grant money got into my college time for chicken wings. And in that case, Uber 1 for students is the best way to save money on Uber and Uber Eat. Members get great perks like $0 delivery fee, 5% off eligible orders, and 5% back in Uber credits on ride. Try it out now and get your first four weeks free. Become an Uber 1 for students member and start saving. on Uber and Uber Eats. Eligibility and member terms apply.

Canada's Wonderland is bringing the holiday magic this season with Winterfest on select nights now through January 3rd. Step into a winter wonderland filled with millions of dazzling lights, festive shows, rides, and holiday treats. Plus, Coca-Cola is back with Canada's kindest community, celebrating acts of kindness nationwide with a chance at a hundred thousand donation for the winning community and a 2026 holiday caravan stop learn more at canadaswunderland dot com this episode is presented by panda express it shouldn't be difficult and maybe it's a bit silly but we've all been there sometimes saying i love you is just hard whether it's your partner someone and your family a good friend but when you order tasty authentically cooked american

chinese cuisine from panda express they'll know what you mean because sharing some delicious orange chicken or my personal favorite, the honey walnut shrimp, that means more than words, right? So, have you eaten yet? Order now, or find your nearest Panda Express. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Mean Mark, threatens a cull, talks evil equipment, then capitalizes on comedic contractions. We cling Wade, models with ass pain due to refurbishing, rolls on Mrs. Rock

Robinson and gets formal. Bon homie, Bob, generates festive Einstein Rosenbridges, sketches of Psycho, Pumps Gump, and Johnny's. From Smelovision to holiday dates. Ha ha ha ha, ha, ha, ha, it's time for Size Matters, Part 2. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted. and enjoy the show.

Hello and welcome back to Distractable. The only show you're ever going to need in your life, or else, or else what? Death. Oh, definitive. Well, I mean. Not definitive. Well, no, it's very definitive.

If they don't, if it's not the only show in their life, then it's death. What if it's not the only show in, our lives. I guess we're all watch a distractible. Is death, Wade? The answer to your question is death and yes, Bob, we are all only listening and watching to distractable. In fact, listening and watching counts as two shows.

Death. Oh. Ooh, that's a tough choice. You better be watching with no sound or listening with no eyes. I guess I'd rather watch with no sound because listening with no eyes. You have to remove your eyes? I feel like you could get rid of the visual however you might choose, but getting rid of your eyes is the safest

bet. Yeah, safest bet. It's very safe. Yeah, the volume could pop on at any moment, you know, if it switches devices like goes to your AirPods or something. It happens. Then death. There's only one way to be sure. Anyway, for all of you people out there that aren't betraying us in the worst possible way that yields death, my name is Markiplier. I'm here to be your host and guide through this beautiful experience. I know you can't see me if you're hearing me, and I know you can't hear me if you're seeing me. But if you have a friend next to you and one of you has no eyes and one of you has no ears, then You're good, and you can cover all the bases.

And if you have a way to communicate to each other, get all the detail across, that's good in my book. I'm joined by these two also collaborative competitors, Bob and Wade. I'm one of those. Hey. By the end of this episode, you're going to know which one's which. No, they never learn. We sound alike, look alike, smell alike.

Indistinguishable. They don't even know which one we're married to. When the smell version of the podcast comes out, we're going to get so many more car crashes. This sure will be. Speaking of car crashes, this is beginning of this podcast is off to a rip-roar and start, I can tell. I really chose the good bits for my hostings. Oh, come on, I have a little more confidence. I believe in you.

I know, I believe in myself. But when I start threatening death upon our audience, I have a funny feeling that it might not be the best, strongest beginning that we could have to a... Oh, they like it. You're just going for that R rating. That's a funny process that I could talk about at another time of getting the rating there. but I won't talk about it now because it's not my life that we're here to talk about

it is these guys' lives that we're here to talk about so how are your lives going pretty good no I'm not too bad recently we replaced an area rug we had like this big area rogue in our family room

it took up most of the room and it was tucked under we have like a corner couch and like another little sofa on the side and I was like ah we need to replace this thing it's old it's gross previous homeowners had left it their dog

I think had pottyed on it our dogs smell that we're like we need to mark it too It was like, yeah, let's get rid of this nasty thing. How hard could it be to lift up a couple sofas, remove a rug, remove a pad, put a new one down? Probably take like 10 minutes pretty easy. It took like two hours to get this thing in properly and get it all laid out after removing the old one. And apparently an old rug that's been laying there for like however many years doesn't fold up very nice.

So trying to like roll it, move it, get it into a garbage can end up at a, get it like a junk company. but it was a whole process I was like finally that's done got the new rug it's nice got the padding underneath it's oriented

everything's perfect and then I'm just a little sore from lifting the couch 500 times but whatever man oh man I don't know if I was lifting wrong or if I'm just that out of shape

or using muscles I never use my back for like three days just like fully locked up I was just like lemming around like because I could not Just move with a normal pace. You know, classic lemming noise.

Oh, lemming. Okay. Yeah, not lemon. Lemming. I thought you were making fun of lemming. That's a ruin in Diablo too. I don't know what else it is. A guy named Lemm?

I don't know. You're the one who said you were lemming around. I guess he's one of the stooges. Lift smartly when you move furniture. And also don't underestimate any task. It might surprise you with how big of a pain in the ass it is. I guess I just moved so I have a lot of perspective on how hard it is to move things around but I've seen that room I cannot imagine how you looked at that and you were like ah easy task

those big couches you have in that room and it's a the thing in the it's a lot of dude the ones all modular the corner couch is like all modular because I guess that's how they put it together they can make it they can make the couch any size just by putting in modules so of course when we were trying to lift it to move the rug every single piece came undone yeah they're not designed to be lifted together. You have to take them apart and then you have to, it's how that works. Live and learn. What do you mean live and learn? I mean, we tried to lift the whole thing at once and then all of a sudden I just had eight pieces of a couch. That might be an exaggeration. I had a lot of pieces of couch. I mean, I'm impressed that you were able to lift it all

at once in the first place. I mean, that is, that is quite cool. And also I understand how you hurt your back. Yeah, that sounds like probably the point where you hurt your back right there, if I had to guess corner sofa not meant to all be lifted by one person at one one was just mawling up my family that's coming to help us put the new one in because they were just like oh it sounds like you guys might need some help and we're like no we're fine and they came and helped anyway but i did lifted myself a few times wait were they already there did they hear you wheezing from down the road no they were really excited because they got us the new rug is like a Christmas present so they were like it looks like it's been delivered and we're like yep installing it right now

It's going better than you could think. And they're like, hmm, sounds like you need help. Yep. Please, dear God, help us. Oh, that sounds lovely. That sounds very nice. I thought you said no for the help. Now you're saying yes for the help.

You just making stuff up. Well, we said, no, originally. When this is the rug was going to be like, we can do it. And then whenever we removed the old rug and we were talked to them, we were like, yes, actually, please help us. For love of God, help us. All right. Well, you need to call them up and corroborate this because there's a lot of lies being thrown around.

This is an evolving story right now. No, no, no, no, no. A lot of truth. Hold on. Yes, he's telling me the truth. Yeah, see, that was the truth. You just got your mom on the line just waiting to talk to you? Mama Minion 666. Yep.

All right. Thanks, Mom. Oh, love you, son. Love you too, Mom. I know she doesn't say that. Which part? Love you? I don't know.

Just part of that really stuck out to me. I'm not going to... So, if anything, my mom's at the stage of life where... I don't know if everyone hits this stage, but she tells me she tells me she... She loves me a lot. To the point where it's been happening for like a year and a half, but every time she says it, I'm like, something horrible has happened. What's wrong?

Why would she tell me this? Why would she say these words to me? Why? No one knows. She said period this time instead of exclamation mark. What does it mean? She's also the person who's like, hey, we need to talk and does the single K responses. My mom's a texting, anxiety-inducing nightmare sometimes, but very loving, very loving.

Worst username of all time, but very loving. Well, we can't all have the greatest user. name of all time. I'm not saying it's mine guys. I'm not. That's not what I was trying to imply. None of us here have the greatest username of all time anyway. Wow, but would your, does rum have a username? Is she like mom skirm or something? Like what? My mom have a username? Yeah.

No? I know Mark's mom. My mom literally her username is Mama Minion 666. I thought that was a joke. I thought that was a joke. That's real. That is a real username. I thought you were roasting your own username you made up for the bit. Nope, that is my mother's username. That's tough. It is. Wow.

Anyway, that's my life. That's all right. That's very funny. New rug goofing. New rug. That's it. There's a lemon around. This guy limbs. Well, thank you for that. That was really informative. Bob, how's your life?

I'm currently in that stage post-move where there are wormholes forming and consuming and producing different parts of stuff that I know that we own there is a box it's the holiday season we usually put out Christmas lights

and I know that there is a box full of Christmas lights I put out like a few but not like all of the lights last year because we had just moved actually that wasn't last year but anyway I was lazy we had a baby it was hard but I know

I know that we have a box that was in the garage that's full of Christmas lights. And I have looked inside of every fucking box in the entire house, in every room, in every closet, in every bedroom. The box, and it's not even like it got, it was on a truck for like five minutes from the old house to the new house,

unless it fell out in the stretch of road. I don't know what happened. But this is not the only thing that that's happening with. I'm at that part of, I don't know if this is a thing you guys get. But every time we move, there's shit where it's like, either a thing you know that you packed that you know that you have it's gone forever

or something that you thought you got rid of like there was I forget what it was but there was something that I hadn't seen since we lived in California so like I spent a few years where I was like unpacking a box and I pulled it out and I was like holy shit it's haunted it came back to us like I put this in the dumpster

and it climbed back into our box in the thing and like toy storied itself back into our lives somewhere in that phase which is kind of fun, but also where the, I don't understand where the fucking Christmas lights are. It's time to put some Christmas lights out, and I have not felt very good because my ears been all fucked up, and I, I'm pretty sure that they just got sucked into a wormhole or something, like some mystery shit happened.

Yeah, it really does sound like it, but I know that stage all too well each time I've moved. I kind of have a different problem where it's like, it goes into a wormhole, but then the wormhole opens back up in the middle of the ceiling and just like, drops all of my stuff on me, and I'm reminded that I have way too much shit. But I can't bring myself to get rid of it. Especially my sock drawer. I get all of the unused pairs that other people get lose in their laundry machine. It goes into the laundry wormhole appears in my sock drawer.

I have socks I've never seen before in my life. It's absurd. Dude, you never know when you're going to need a micro USB to USB B type B. You never know when you're going to need that cord, but it's going to come up. And if you get rid of that cord, the next year and a half, the span of time, it's going to happen. And you're like, man, I had one of those. I knew I should have kept it for decades. See, the problem is you eventually find it, or you eventually find that you need it,

and then it's buried under all the other things like, I'm eventually going to need, and you never find it again. You know why USBB was made? Do you guys know why? Because someone had a device that was too narrow to put a USB in. slot on? I honestly don't. It's literally their solution to the orientation problem. USBB, for those that don't know,

it's the one that's kind of like rectangular but the other way, it's vertically tall and got a weird notch in it. It's so you couldn't put it in the wrong way, and it is, it's fine, but nothing uses it besides printers, and printers are already the most useless piece of shit that you've ever used

in your life, so of course they would use the standard that nothing else ever uses ever. No, you know what? you know what I've run into that uses a lot of that shit audio gear. I've had multiple audio interfaces where it was like it came with the cord but it's like a three foot long

USB A to USB type B thing and I'm like well I need it to plug into my computer which is way the fuck over there I need like a 12 foot long version of this cord which doesn't exist but yeah I don't know why printers and audio interfaces and I actually do own an external hard drive that has a type B

plug but it's like the only one I ever seen because most of the US the external hard drives have that really skinny one what is that called i don't even remember it's like the really skinny one where there's like a notch off center it's like super super wide it's wider and skinnier but it's a USB but it's not a type a or type like the two the two side by side but one smaller right it's uh it's it's i don't know which one that is that's a weird one yeah but i know what we've talked about this before but whoever is inventing all the plugs and shit. Just give up and let everyone use USBC. Holy fuck. God damn it. Until next year, whenever a new, better ones invented. The printers used to be such an integral part of our lives,

man. That's wild to think like, I've not used a printer in probably like six years. Oh man, Amy was about to rage, throw this printer out the window because still to this day it is not easier. They have not figured it out. They're still like because they restrict it because of people worry about people counterfeiting money or something like that or documents or stocks or whatever. But it's just it's absurd at how difficult it is to be like, okay, it's connected to the

network. I have the app. It sees the printer. It's all good to go. Hit print. Paper jam. It doesn't work. Didn't get anything. There's no paper anywhere in there. It's like completely empty of paper. You shove paper in. It's like,

yeah, yeah. Paper jam. It does me want it. the paper back out, I don't know, it's just... Dude, it's on purpose. We recently had to buy a new printer, and I was like, I'm not buying some piece of shit. If I get a nice one, that means it will work, right? Mm-mm-mm-mm-hmm.

No such thing. That takes me back to working at the federal courthouse and the clerk's office and having to use the copy machine that broke at least three times a week. Because when you're printing, like, court documents and court cases out, those are not small files, so it's like you're just printing hundreds of pages every time anyone needs anything. Yeah.

And that fucking thing, I swear, every 10 pages it jammed. And it wasn't always something we could fix. We had to call for help. It was the worst. It was the worst. I never want to deal with printers or copy machines ever again,

as long as I live. All in favor of abolishing printers. Aye. Aye. All right. Motion passes. That plug mark is a USB micro type B. Very thin, very wide one

with the side-by-side bits. Of course it is. It's a micro-B. It's a microbe. That's good That's very good All right Good joke

Good joke man Good joke Uh hilarious This episode is brought to you By Rocket Money The holidays are the best You get to hang out of the family Eat loads

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I can't speak as to We Well who are you judging yourself It's so easy to like Subscribe to something Oh yeah I'm gonna use this every day For the next 10

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Are you ready to move on to the actual meat of the matter here? Oh, I want some meat. Oh, wait. I don't even remember the name of this one. Sam or whoever's editing this, help me out by putting in the name of this game that this is a sequel to right here. You remember that game that we played where I give you a quote and you make it shorter? We're doing that again.

I've got more quotes and you've got more or less words. I've way less words. You have no idea how less words I have. For everyone at home, this game is pretty simple. I give them a quote. They're going to take turns by removing a word or not just removing a word. Making the quote one word less but still comprehensible. They're allowed to change up the wording.

They're allowed to change up the words themselves, the order. So long as the meaning of the quote is still comprehensible. By the end of it, it can go all the way down to one word if the meaning is still comprehensible. I think some of these are more challenging than others to do that on. And then at the end, we'll have a special bonus round just to mix things up a little bit. Did we do one word at a time last time? Yeah, one word at a time, less. So whatever the number of words in the quote, I'll read the quote to you.

I'll read it again if you want. And then you'll start, you'll say the quote, but one word less. I'll define how many words and then you won and one. I think we allowed you to jump down. You could go shorter if you wanted to. It's risky play, but I won't allow you to go too much farther. You can't go straight from the quote down to like three words. But if it's like, if it's not exactly one word less, I'll be like it can be at least less than the previous competitor.

Sound fair? Yeah. Uh, heads is Wade. Uh, Tales is Bob to go first. Bunk. What is that? That looks like tails to me. Looks like tails.

All right. Bob, you're up first. Your quote is from the movie Psycho. Oh. I couldn't make this easy on you. See, I've never seen Psychos. I didn't even know this was a quote in the movie. A boy's best friend is his mother.

A boy's best friend is. his mother. Seven words. A boy's best friend is his mother. All right. Whenever you're ready. A boy's best friend is mom. That's how you do it. That's good. All right. Wait to you. That's six. Skygo less. A boy's bestie is mom. Oh, that's pretty good. That's five. So I have to go four? Yeah, you go four. You boy? Mom bestie. I'll take. Three? Do we have three? Boy bestie? Mom. All right, that's three. Can you do two? Am I allowed to set the scene? Yes, absolutely. Okay. Please, please set the scene.

I'm standing, center stage, spotlight. All I'm wearing is a pair of boxers. Before I say anything, I drop my boxers, I hold my junk in my hand, and then I look at the audience and I go, Mom Bestie. I concede. Okay, all right, that's fair. Right? It makes sense. That plays, right? Yep, I'll get it. I'll take it. I concede. I can't one word that. All right, you could, you could. I know you're so smart. You're so smart. But I'm giving him the point if you concede.

I don't know that I could do it. Wait, are you ready for yours? Yeah, let's do it. All right. So this is from the movie The Graduate. Another one that I have not seen, but I have heard this quote before. Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me, aren't you? Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me, aren't you? Nine words. There's a contraction in there with yours and aren't.

So, Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me, aren't you? Nine words. Give me eight or less. Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me, eh? I was trying to seduce me, eh? Yeah, that's good. That's a. A?

A? A. Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take that. How many words was that? That's seven. Oh, was that seven?

I thought, Ms. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. You're seven. Sorry, you have six. You have to get six or less now. Mrs. Robinson want to funk me? Funk? Funk? That's seven.

Mrs. Robinson want to fuck me? Robinson. Oh, I thought you said you. Ms. Robinson want to funk me? Must be fuck, but I had a horrible weird roof of mouth lisp. I get the intention. I get the intention. It's borderline, but I'll accept it.

That's six. Going for five. Mrs. Robinson, but you're old. Yeah, I think in the subtext of that quote I'm pretty sure that there was that It's called nagging, you know, you really got it. That was five words? That was five, yeah.

That's five. Fuck me, but married. Oh. I think that qualifies. I think it's close. It's close because who's married is a bit ambiguous, but if there was context, and I'm seeing this in my mind's eye of the movie.

scene that I haven't watched. I'm pretty sure it's, yeah, I get. Okay, all right. Bob, can you do three? So I'm, I'm in a room. I'm saying this to Mrs. Robinson, I'm assuming. I'm not saying, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm looking at her and I start going, you, me, fuck? If you're, if we're allowing the scene to be set, I think, so long as the question is there. really the interrogative that we're needing here. And I like that it's still there. I can still understand it. Wade, can you give me two?

I'm sitting there across from Mrs. Robinson sharing a glass of wine. Yes, all right. I take a sip. I look her in the eyes and say, so adultery. Oh, God damn. Yeah, that's great. I'm sitting across from Mrs. Robinson. We're enjoying a glass of wine.

She looks at me and her eyes say, I'm trying to seduce you. And I look at her and my eyes say, but you're my friend's mom and my teacher. And she's looking at me and her eyes say, yes, and I look her dead in her eyes that have said so much. And I say, okay. Ah, no, that's past the

Interrogative. I was with you all the way up until you agree. Oh, she asked, she asked, and I... The asking was the quote. You were so close. I got the no word. It's... Just, yeah, you... No, no, no.

All right, I'm giving it to Wade. I was with us, Bob, but I'll take it. Whose side are you on? Ours. Oh, okay. You want to do cumulative points here? Is that how it's going to go? No, I was just trying to make sure he advocates for himself.

I'll take an easy win. You don't mean when I think it being communal points? Okay. Bob, it's back to you. You are going to have a quote from, I'll give you a choice. You either get Forrest Gump or Planet of the Apes. Oh, Forest Gump. This is a long one.

Mom always said, life was like a box of chocolate. You never know what you're going to get. Mama always said life is, life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. 17. Jesus. I know. So we've done a 17 before in the last round, I think.

All right. Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you'll get. 16. Technically, yes. I love it. Wade. Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.

You never know what's there. All right. That's 15. That's good. Actually, that's 14. You never know what's there. Was that it? You never know what's there.

Oh, you're down to 14. Okay. You skipped one. That's good. Mama always said, life is a box of chocolates. What's going to happen? 13. That's great.

Okay. I got it. I got it. Okay. Mama said Life's Like Chocolates, what's there? Oh, God, geez. All right, all right, all right. Okay, seven, I think it's still technically there.

Mama said something. You don't know. I like it. Seven. We've jumped a bunch. Okay. Mama said, Life's like chocolates. Choose wisely.

Wait, Mama said, lives like chocolates. Wait, was that? Oh, wait. Is that seven? I did seven, didn't I? Ah, so close. Damn it. Why can't I count to six?

I think the longer ones are harder because, like, my brain's still also on the longer number. I had a, I had a short one. I don't know if it counts, but I was just going to go, Mama, love chocolates. I don't think it counts for the second part, but anyway. All right, well done, Wade. You're pulling away with it. All right, so we've been going for 30 minutes.

I want to activate our sleeper bonus round for an experiment. If it works, it'll be good. If it doesn't, we'll go back to this one. We're going to do the opposite. I've got some short quotes here. I want you to add a word until it becomes unintelligible to the original meaning of the quote. Okay.

Wade, you're going to go first. Your quote is from the shining, the pivotal moment when he axes his door, sticks his face, and goes, here's Johnny. add a word Here I Johnny Am Oh

God What the What I had too many You added two words But whatever Sure Here I Johnny am

Yep I don't know if I can count That one man What do you mean It's very obvious And clear You know who's there It's Johnny

He announced it Here I comma Johnny comma am. You know me in my commas. You love your commas. All right, Bob, are you going to accept that?

I'll accept it if you do. That's fine. That's fine. Give me five or more, I guess. Here I am. I'm Johnny. I like grammatically correct. Well, if we're just making sure that we know who Johnny is in the seed, I just want to stick with that theme.

That is the crucial information. Who it is and. Where they are. What was your quote again? What was it? Here I am. I'm Johnny. Here I am.

I am Johnny. All right. Six. Johnny's here in the hole in the door. In the hole in the door. That's great. Coming in the hole in the door, Johnny is. Why do you?

In the door, Johnny, why if you talk like that? Hey, he's unhinged at this point in the movie, he's, he's fully crazy. Was it coming in the hole in the door? Yes. I think it was nine. I'm pretty sure, Bob, if you accept that. Yeah. Look out.

I'm coming through the door. It's me, Johnny. I got 11. That's 10. Oh, 11. It's me coming through the door. It's Johnny. I counted 10, but it's still more. He got nine last time.

Oh, it might have been 10. I can't count for shit. All right. Wade, do you have more in you? We're getting a little far, but I think you can maybe land it. Entering through the hole in the door, it is I, your man, Johnny. It is I. I love your commas. Your friend? Your man. Your man, Johnny. Your man, Johnny. It's 13 technically.

all right, Bob, yours to lose. Oh, whoa, hey, it worked. Look at that. A hole in the door. Ah, it's me, Johnny. I'm coming. 20. Oh, whoa, geez, it worked.

It's like more to each. A hole in the door. I'm coming in. Whoa, look out. What did you say? I'm coming in. It's me, Johnny. Oh, man.

I think it was like 19 or 20 or something like that. Wait, I'm not sure what the number is, but got more. Dear wife, Wendy Torrance, it is I, Jack Torrance, aka Johnny, your husband coming in through the hole in the door. I've got an axe and I've lost my mind. I don't know why, but this time I'm going to start with the axe coming through the door just to get myself back in the scene. It's getting too silly. You will not guess what I just had to deal with with those fucking elevators. A hallway full of blood?

What the shit? Anyways, babe, I'm here. It's me. Johnny. I think, yeah. Are we still communicating the message of the original quote? I don't know if the mood is the same, but man, the message is clear. Does it still need to be scary?

Wait, I'll leave it up to you if that feels in the same vein. I think I'd been inclined to give it. Can you, Sir Pat? I don't even know what the count is anymore, but I think it was more than yours. Oh, I've got this. All right, I'm ready. Wendy, I've been writing this book for what feels like months and getting nowhere. I'm losing my mind.

It's been all work, no play, and I've not even gotten to talk to you. It's me, Johnny. Why are yours like voicemails? If you need to call me back, my number. Now, wait, I would love to accept that, but you missed a crucial piece of information. No. Where he was. You didn't say, you said, it's me, Johnny.

I did not say here. You didn't say where Johnny was. Johnny was writing, but where Johnny is. Where Johnny is, I think we lost it, which means... Wendy has. no space to recognition. She can't see me. She's around the corner. She doesn't even see him. She doesn't see him. She doesn't see him. She's up on the wall.

He could be here. He could be there. Damn it. I forgot. It is eye holding the axe that you see. Any kind of clarification would have been great. Okay. In the essence of trying to keep these episodes just a smid shorter, I am going to call it there. That was very fun. But well done, guys. That was very funny. I like, I like making them longer. I think that's an excellent. twist. That was good.

Again, Amy, you know, had that idea I was about to have quite the story for Wendy as to how I arrived at the bathroom and why it was me, Johnny, who was there. I can do another one. I mean, I've got such a huge list, but if you want to... We should just play this again.

I like this game a lot. It's a fun game. Cool. We'll do this one more time and we'll mix it up with shorter. We'll do like a shorter and then a longer or two shorter is longer. We'll play it up like that. Okay, we have to call it there because busy stuff happening, you know, as always, but it's pretty soon here.

And then, obviously, with Christmas break, I think this year is the first time we're actually going to take a little time off, right? Yep. Do you know when we're doing that? December 26th, December 29th, and January 2nd are going to be the dates that we will not have episodes. So that is the day after Christmas, the Monday between Christmas and New York. New Year's and then the day after New Year's. So we're basically taking like almost two weeks off there. But then January 5th, which is a Monday, we shall be back.

Yeah. Just so everyone knows, so there will be a small gap in episodes over the Christmas break. It will be necessary because all these editors have been overworked in terms of getting these episodes out last minute. So big appreciate to our editors. And thank you so much to all our listeners. But to wrap this episode up, the points are as follows, Bob. The moving wormholes, you got a point for that.

USB standards slash printer woes talking about that with me. You got the mom bestie, and you got here's Johnny in the game. Wade, you got lemming around. Can you do that? The sound you made before. Beam-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-le-le. Yeah, lemon around, which part love you in response to Bob saying, that doesn't sound like your mom?

Oh. Very funny. So, adultery, I thought was very funny to give you a bonus point for that. In addition to winning Mrs. Robin, why did I write Mrs. Robin Hood? Close enough. Yeah, close enough. And then chocolates. So you are going into the final round with five points.

So it is four to five, Bob, Wade. Wade is in the lead with one. I would say you could add, like, quoted the most movies or TV, but I don't know that we do that that much. Let's do something a little out there Let's say Sneezed this episode Let's say sneezed the most Just in case more than one person sneezed

Gotta start keeping some pepper by my desk Yeah, you gotta get Just make sure you get those sneezes in there All right But before we spin the fun wheel We have to spin the wheel that usually lands on three Don't be one No

And it's three It's almost usually three Do you think the developers at this website know that we're using it and they weight your wheels in particular? They're fans and they're just like in here manipulating it like he's got the wheel up. Let's see. Let's make something funny happen. I hope so. Spend one of one.

That's a million dollar idea. I had the million dollar idea of letting all other forms of USB die and just allowing everyone commit to using USBC. I contributed no financial ideas whatsoever. That is technically, Bob is correct in terms of the USB industry must be a million, at least a million dollar industry. I didn't pitch it as a million dollar idea, but I think that would be a million dollar idea. And I think everyone would really love whoever made that happen.

Plus that ties it up with two spins to go, which is scary for Mark. Let's do it. No, no, no, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. Plus one to Bob. All right. It's been two of three. One of one, two of three. I can't wait to do a three, Tyler. At my ass!

There we go, Bob got it! He said my ass! It just says, say my ass. Damn, you said it twice. That is, that is what it is. And I knew we had some options that were like, you have to say something as soon as it lands. That's why I've always been very attentive

of what they are, because I've been waiting for it. This is the first time that's come up. I didn't even think about saying. I just thought about what it meant. Whatever you do, don't get a point. Don't get a point. Don't call it a comeback. Spin three of five.

Oh, we're all in our normal locations Oh, we're all in our normal offices I mean, technically, Bob's is a different book I mean, this is my new, this is where I will always be Yeah, we'll re-spin this one Spin four or five Got big slap Oh man, you guys have made me laugh at a lot

It was pretty funny It was pretty good I did But the altery was my best moment Which is a weird thing to say out loud I was about to give it a No, that wasn't the funniest moment Is that really the one you were going to say?

Yeah, because I gave an extra point for it. You did give a bonus point to that. There was one point where I actually like hit the table laughing, but I can't remember if it was that or in the small talk. I don't remember. I just know if my best moment was so adultery. I don't know what Bob's best is, but that was my best. There was a pretty good laugh because, uh,

Kitz Wade was like, and mom said I love or says I love you And I was like, I know your mom doesn't say that. And technically Wade kind of got the laugh, but that was my joke. I think, yeah, I think it does go to Wade, which puts us in a precarious situation, us all in a precarious situation, because that means it's six to six. Oh, God, we have to hope that we don't have time to build a one man show. I have to hope against this wedding on it now. All right.

Well, this is what, don't worry. It won't be that. We're going to the tie wheel. What are the odds? Hey, Wade, I sent you a chat just between you and me in the recording chat. Oh, no. So it needs to be Bob and Wade. Oh, that reset it.

Fuck you, you fucking thing. It was like 67, I want to say. Yeah, 6-7. It was more than that for sure, because we, the last thing added a bunch. I think it was about there, like 81 before. And then you add, we add 6%. This is, yeah, well, this is degrees, right? So 6 degrees is like a couple percent.

No, yeah, we add 2% each time. But that translates to a different number. Oh, why have we not written this down? Why is it in 360 degree weights? I think early, I think low 80 sounds right. Yeah, and then we add from here. So I think it starts at 81-ish, and then we add. 2% of 360 is 7.2.

So like if I add seven degrees Yeah That should be about the right weight Make it ain't even 90 Just to just so any naysayers out there Can't really say we're cheating anything So that's a one quarter chance now Good

Grief No way Watch this I'm gonna close my eyes Oh no Still spinning Yeah Oh my god

All right Congratulations Bob I didn't see how close it was. Don't tell me. Tie winner, Bob. Way to go, Bob. Way to go. Big win towards there.

Coming from behind to get the tie and the bonus points and then the tie wheel made you the victor. Congratulations. Beautiful. Winner speech. Oh, it's a great time to be, Bob. I thought this was a fun game. I liked this game.

Wade did really well today and kind of spanked me at the actual game. But who needs to win a thing to get the episode win? I don't need to beat Wade to beat him. I'll just win. That's what I like to do. I'll just leave it up to chance. I've never been screwed over by a wheel or a coin flip. I prefer to leave things up to chance.

That's the way I live my life. So I got what I deserved on this one, and I expect I will continue to get exactly what I deserve as time goes on. And I've nothing but happy thoughts and lovely memories of all the times I've won and not been at all screwed over by wheel spin and other games of chance. So I love it. Just great. Just great. I love it. All right.

Well said, loser speech. It was hard fought. I gave it my all. I got the biggest laugh according to the points, but it just wasn't quite enough to overcome Bob's wheel luck. I'm sad about it. I'm upset about it. I'm depressed about it. And I'm going to need some help from you boys to get over this. So, adultery?

For listeners who are not watching the podcast, We just pulled a cigar from somewhere off screen and now the cigar won't go out. It's a fake cigar and God knows the last time you put that thing in your mouth. I can only imagine how it smells. I just opened it. You opened it for that bit? The odor, the odorers out there are reeling.

Their cars are swerving all over the road. It's supposed to go off when your tongue's not on it. I'm a little concerned. All right. Well, thank you everybody so much for joining this podcast. We are going to be on vacation, but not just yet. We've got another couple episodes before then, but just to see you know, the 26, the whatever's, and the second.

We're not going to be here. Those are the ones. 26 and the whatever's. 26, 29, and the second. Those are the ones. I can't believe it's December whatever's already. Wake up, wake up. It's whatever's day.

It's the whatever's of March. Oh, no. Beware, the whatevers of March. All right. Well, thank you. Be sure to follow the podcast. And then next year, oh boy. Are we going to hit you with the content or something?

I don't know. Anyway, Bob will host the next one. I've been your host for this one. Wade's been your loser for this one. May he have luck in the next. Bygast. Out. Watch new episodes on Spotify.