Distractible - So Bad It's Good

Episode Date: May 9, 2022

Junk food, the Scary Movie franchise, The Fall of Slenderman, sometimes things are so bad that they come back around to being good. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good evening, gentle listeners, and welcome to Distractible, a Wood Elf production with your hosts, Withering Wade, Berserker Bob, and Multifaceted Mark. This week, the jointy jarrahs joust with the juiciest of subjects, the deepest, darkest of unsavory cravings. Yes, it's time for So Bad, It's Good. Please prepare thy kink- shaming and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to Distractible. Welcome back all you valued repeat listeners and welcome even more back to those who have never listened to the first in the first place ever. We don't know how you arrived here Whether you were exploring, browsing The subreddit that you found randomly

Or just looking on podcast sites Wherever we're listed I don't know actually how you find us if you don't know who we are How do people find us if they don't know us? They probably see us on a list and listen Or someone recommends us Ah, word of mouth We're here to pop your proverbial fruits, newbies

I didn't hear any of that Because both of you spoke at the same time. All right, well, let's do it again, Wade, at the same time. Ready? All right. Yeah. Yeah, I like to pop your proverbial fruits. Did you get that one? The only thing I could definitely hear is Bob, you going,

it's a word of mouth. So I got the important information there i said words what do you mean all right so this is how this works for all of you people who have discovered us through those words of mouth we are a trio of friends who have known each other for a very long time we're idiots also but that's the besides point but what we're doing here today is we are judging the various stories that bob and w Wade are bringing to the table. Why just Bob and Wade? Because I am that very judge that I mentioned previously. You are the we? I am the we. The royal we. Oh. So in this, I will listen to their stories. I may participate myself

if I need to step in and I will assign points. And then at the end of the episode, we will grant, well, the royal we will grant a winner who will be the end of the episode, we will grant, well, the royal, we will grant a winner who will be the judge in the next episode. Sounds so official when you say it like that. It is official. Oh. We have rules. Sure.

We have very strict rules here. Sometimes. It's a hallowed institution. I know that for sure. Yeah, a third of the time anyway. Well, actually, slightly more than a third of the time if I've got to be perfectly honest with myself.

third of the time if i've got to be perfectly honest with myself i'm confused what that joke is but i'm like it means i've i think i'm up on the total wins by a few you are yeah that's how you know i'm good oh are there stats for who's won the most yeah yeah absolutely on the internet oh all those valuable valuable repeat listeners. I believe it's pronounced re-dite. Yeah. Anyway, this horrible, horrible intro to this episode is actually on topic, weirdly enough. Because the topic of conversation I'm going to tell right after we do small talk. Hey, how's life? Really good.

Life are good. I found a new thing I like on TikTok. Can I share this with you? Yes. I found a new trend. It's not a trend. It's being done by one person. And I think it's possibly the greatest series on TikTok currently going on.

Okay. This account is new. I just found it. And this series is new. It started like two or three days ago. Every day, this person who appears to be a guy who's like a D&D TikToker does, you know, talks about D&D stuff and is in that universe of knowledge and enjoyment he every day makes himself a sandwich but he has to roll for sandwich oh he has a paper plate on which he

scribbles one through five one through six whatever he has on hand and it's like protein type of cheese condiments veggies and or other toppings that go on sandwiches today he ate a crab salad with ketchup and tomato sandwich and with shredded mexican cheese that's what it was oh uh but i love it it's my favorite content it's amazing it's different toppings every day he's spicing it up he's listening to his viewers taking suggestions beautiful this is what i'm here for tiktok never change okay except for all the horrible parts that nobody likes chances all right they'll get right on that yep yeah wade how's life what have you found out there that's uh giving you joy uh i

like dinner and sleep have you not been eating dinner and sleeping is that new well i've been eating i always eat but sleep has eluded me for quite a while but one day i'm gonna sleep in again and i will feel good and rested coming from a man who sleeps until 2 p.m every day i find that hard to oh i miss the days of getting up at two that was early what no what things have gotten a lot worse lately bob god i'm more of a 4 p.m riser now all right oh no yeah people are getting their lunch from their normal nine to five work days and i'm like time for bed wait so you go confused about what's happening you go to bed at noon and you wake up at four oh i thought people got lunch at 8 a.m never mind oh dear oh my goodness i'm confused i'm lost i'm confused too but that's probably

sleep deprivation i think you're actually effectively nocturnal at this point because i don't think you're awake much during the daylight hours and i can't see my reflection in mirrors anymore i think i've become a vampire well that's the only logical conclusion um that's a that's a topic for another day we'll talk about that later later later great makes sense to me you get some sleep buddy you get some sleep what was today's topic i haven't said my wedding oh good are you okay man i do sometimes worry about your sleep schedule oh like a fox go on okay all right uh bob i think you're gonna have to carry this one a little bit more than usual so uh okay let me tell you the topic and then i think

through context clues ways we'll get it today's topic is so bad it's good oh i want to hear about things in your life or media that you've consumed or anything that you have encountered or on a daily basis maybe you check out some stupid blogs that are so bad they're good maybe you got that one movie that's so bad it's good that you always go back to maybe there's that youtube channel that you like watching because it's a walking disaster that you just can't look away from you know you get what i'm saying oh yeah i know exactly what you're talking about yeah and i think we all have examples of this i i have a habit of finding bad movies that are actually low rated on rotten tomatoes because i want to watch them not only just to like see what they did wrong and see if

i can learn something from mistakes but also just there's something extremely entertaining about picking apart something, just tearing it down. And I know that's why on the internet, people love giving their opinions all over the place. And that's fine. I don't actually spread my opinions about these things that I consume. But today we will because we actually support them. We love them. We cherish them. And I'd actually like to talk about one thing in particular, because I got to look up the exact number um seven uh we'll play some uh elevator music while i look this up keep keep going i'm not not done all right All right, you're there. So, an example of this, so bad it's good.

You guys know what my favorite Christmas movie is, right? Oh, Charles Dickens. Bad Santa, got it. Wow, I just opened this episode saying we've known each other for so long. It's Elf, right? wow i just opened i opened this episode saying we've known each other for so long it's elf it's elf right no it's not elf you love will ferrell i know it it's uh tim allen good santa what's this what's this called the santa claus that's it yeah the santa claus so i actually started realizing that a lot of the movies that I truly like are rather poorly reviewed. How the Grinch Stole Christmas with Jim Carrey specifically is my favorite Christmas movie. Oh, that makes sense. That's a good one.

I love that movie. And weirdly enough, I never consider that movie bad. However, on Rotten Tomatoes, which has become the ubiquitous movie review site, that movie has a 49% rating. It is certified a Rotten Tomato. And even more surprisingly, the audience score, with over 250,000 ratings, stands at a whopping 56%. That's lower than I would have guessed. I know, because I love that movie. But apparently it's bad. And it doesn't necessarily have to be something like that you're surprised is actually rated poorly but people do like or don't like or whatever but

even more surprisingly there's other movies like what would you think jumanji's score would be that's gotta be like a 90 dude no i would guess jumanji is low though what i feel like that's a nostalgia kit for us he's okay i don't like it that much. What? Really? It's only okay. I've not watched it in like a decade or more, to be fair. But like my memory of that movie is it was like top notch. We're talking classic Jumanji, not Jack Black. Robin Williams Jumanji.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's only, it's okay. It's a 55%. Yeah. It's only six points higher than How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

And I would look at that movie and be like, that's super cool and well-made. And I love the way, you know, the sinking into the floor bit is like burned into my brain. You know, all of the monkeys rampaging through the town, like the whole town just being destroyed in general. Like I remember the flooding in the house, like it was such a cool imaginative movie for me. But it's like, it's just not highly rated. However, that is not the main point of this i also watched moonfall just recently did you guys watch moonfall uh what is that no yeah what i sort of know what that is but i moonfall into earth moonfall down oh okay

moonfall down that was my guess that it is it's just it's straight up bad like from the effects you know that movie had like 150 million dollar budget you'd think that the effects would live up to it and some of them do some are fantastic others weirdly enough know the script was all over the place the acting was all over the place the characters were all over the place like the whole story is just a mess and yet i enjoyed watching it amy and i both enjoyed watching it because it was so bad and we get to pick it apart so i don't necessarily want to hear about things that you cherish that you are surprised you're bad things that are unanimously almost unanimously bad that they're good i've got one right off the bat okay that is a movie whoa whoa hold on it's my i'm judge

gotta have a title gotta have a bibliography gotta have all the bat okay that is a movie whoa whoa hold on it's my i'm judge gotta have a title gotta have a bibliography gotta have all the nine yards is there a qualification for why we enjoy it like do we have to enjoy it for a specific whatever reason like the good is up to you the bad is has to be like generally perceived as bad but the good is up to you why it's good like the movie moonfall it was good because it was so fun to just rip it apart okay and like theorize how to do it better that's what i liked about watching it so whatever you guys want to justify and it also could be like something that you know no one joins your opinion on it that's totally fine too perfect so i'm gonna i'm gonna preface my entire

performance today on this episode by saying that i'm i'm gonna focus on small things all right love that and this is not a super small thing but i'm gonna have more than one story so this is gonna be one story about one thing that i have picked out all right oh yeah same i figured we would just kind of go back and forth okay good all right if you just want to round robin it i'll flip a coin see who goes first or i could just pick from the first title and you don't have to title anything from then on out. We could do title duels. Yeah, let's title duel it. I'm good at that. Oh, God.

Okay, I'll go with the title real quick. My first one is titled... Wait, who did that? That's a good title. He did what? And it's... What? Huh. That's the whole title.

It's a long... Sorry. No, no, no. It's like an art piece title. I like it. All right, I'll call mine... We're Going Down Together. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. no no no it's like an art piece title i like it all right i'll call mine we're going down together that's pretty good that's pretty good um i gotta give it to wade i'm really curious about that oh

dragging someone down with your own opinion i like that oh yeah so uh am i good am i good to start mr judge yes all right so rewind back to the days of blockbuster video okay so probably early 2000s like 2003 2004 uh the most popular video game i played at the time was diablo 2 i was playing a crap ton of it ever since it came out i played that until diablo 3 came out and even then i still wanted to hop on diablo 2 some and uh I was browsing Blockbuster and I came across a movie and I was so excited because I had no idea that Diablo had made a movie. I knew that their cinematics were like top notch for the time. And I found this movie and I knew I had to get it.

We were going to watch it. I was going to invite some friends over. We're all going to watch it together. So went and I rented it. Got home. I was so i couldn't wait i was so excited i could not wait i watched it the night i got i was like i'll just watch it again with them the movie is called the legend of diablo oh boy and let me tell you it opens up and there's a guy walking like through the woods along a beach along some rocks for about 25 minutes and then it gets into a cave finds a spot camera zooms out you hear a scream and then it cuts to another person walking the same path for

quite a long time to get to the same cave and i knew then i had made a horrible mistake but i watched it i watched it all the way through and the movie was so awful so disappointing and yet I couldn't help but be proud because it had gotten me it got me to rent it It got me to be hyped for it And now not only was it so bad that I was like so originally sad that it wasn't about Diablo the video game at all But I realized none of my friends knew that and I was gonna hype this bad boy up And I was gonna drag them down with me oh boy did i one by one they came over and i told them about the diablo movie we had played so many

hours of our smiter paladins our ice sorceresses we were going to watch this movie and they were going to love it it starts a little slow but don't worry it picks up and as the movie went on for each person i grew more and more powerful with glee seeing the confusion and then the credits would roll and they would just look at me dumbfounded like did you actually enjoy this and the answer was yes but not because of the movie but because of you because you went down like i did but i got to witness the fall the legend of di Diablo. The magical transformation from human to possessed demon is they get some like football eyeliner under their eyes. It's beautiful. There's a scene where there's a musical beat going dum, dum, dum, dum. And that's like all

the music and everyone's jamming like they're at a rock concert. Makes no sense. There's like these zombie people just like banging away. You know how zombies move in a pack and they're all stupid. They're just like hitting walls with their hands and stuff. Well, they're doing that at a car. They're just beating at this car. And then randomly one of them just like has a moment of genius where they go grab the car door, push their thumb in to open the handle, pull it open,

and then go back to beating it like a stupid mindless zombie. the handle pull it open and then go back to beating it like a stupid mindless zombie it's so horrible and glorious at the same time that i've talked about this since i first found it and i've talked about it so much that patrick my friend patrick patrick static if everyone out there he found it and bought me a copy and i made us all watch it one night and they all hated it and i was so happy that it lived up to the hype that i remembered and i've got it in my hands right now i keep it by my desk because it makes me happy the legend of diablo and we can watch it after we're done with this episode guys no no no i'm good i um pass yeah pass that's kind of messed up man got special features how many friends did you manage to rope into this horrible evening um probably about 15 people i've made watch this

really yeah and every single time beforehand i hyped it up i talked about how like this was like a college-made film or something it was surprising especially being made in early 2000s how good the special effects the makeup costume like i i went in and i hyped up every aspect of it and talked about like how you know they really find their footing like in the second act and by then they're they've watched enough where it's like uh i forget what it's called but it's like with mobile games and stuff where you've invested a little bit of money so you feel like you've got to continue it's like they put enough time and once they get to the second act it's like well i gotta finish it now and they do they sit through it and then they leave so unsatisfied and the more unsatisfied they are the more

satisfied i am i don't know what that says about me but i don't care because i'm so happy just remembering right now i'm in heaven is it like a situation where your friends have to also corroborate your story because they want others to suffer just as much as you made them suffer yes and they did they would join in it was glorious i was like all right we're gonna we're gonna totally get like uh i told my friend jared i was like we're gonna get katie to watch this and we're gonna we're gonna hype it up she's gonna love it we gotta play it up and he was like dude this is so bad i know but just wait watching her reaction will be worth it he's like yeah you're probably right and like eventually we had everyone on board it grew and grew and grew until we got bored of it and moved on well i mean you can only watch

it so many times because you have to sit through with them but i do appreciate the commitment so 15 i'll divide that by five and give you three points thank you i feel like you're friends with a different kind of person than i am if you if you did that to me like at the end of the first act of the movie or like somewhere somewhere in the before the halfway point of the movie depending on how long it is I would just look over and be like, man, this fucking sucks. It's an 85 minute long movie. Ugh. And you would be like,

no, no, it gets better in the second. And I would be like, it's unredeemable. It's already at a point where I don't care if the second half of this movie is Shutter Island or something, where the back half is crazy and awesome. No, I don't care. And I will watch it because we're already watching it. And I want to just have seen it now. So I don't ever have to do that again. And then if you were like, no, but we should get other people to

watch it. I would have been like, no, I don't want to do that either. I am. I hated that. That was really terrible. And I would tell everyone just to undermine you because then I would know that that was a thing that you did to people. That's really rude. It is. Does your stamp of approval mean nothing, sir? Is Wade's stamp literally just a clown face? No, because they would forget about it immediately and trust me again.

Nah. Nah, nah. It ain't like that. Oh, yeah. I'm not that guy. Maybe I'm overestimating myself, but you would have got me and I would have been like, all right, cool. And then, you know, I never would have trusted you again, I guess. That was pretty harsh.

Now, you have to do enough trustworthy things where people do trust you. Then you slip up the one time and then you start earning it back again. You just build up trust so you can break it down again. I think there's a certain psychological profile that you might fit, sir. Yikes. Yeah, it's called bestie. God. Yeah, okay.

All right. As a refresher, since you already gave out the points and whatnot, mine is titled, wait, he did what? Who did that? Well, and it was what? Huh? Weird. Anyway, in the same year, around the same year, you were pretty non-specific with your

year. In the fall of 2004, a new indie rock pop album came out i don't know satire album came out with uh iconic people on it joe jackson on vocals uh john mark painter on guitars i don't actually know who he is but i assume he's pretty good arranged and accompanied on synthesizer and with some bass playing by Ben Folds, widely known musician, North Carolina native, Ben Folds. And of course, featuring star performance and the face on the cover of the album. As you would expect, William Shatner is the main vocalist on a 2004 pop rock album. The album is called Common People.

That's also the title of, I think it was a single. I'm not sure if it played on the radio or not, but I think it was the single on the album. A song called Common People, which is a cover of a song originally performed and put out by a band called Pulp, which I don't really know. William Shatner does not sing.

If you've ever seen the video of him doing Rocketman from the Oscars in like the 80s or whenever it was, 70s or 80s or whenever it was, where he's like smoking his cigarette and his bow tie's undone and he's like, packed my bags last night, pre-flight. That whole bit. Yeah. The whole album. Oh. And at the very least, the title track common people is just an absolute

stunner gem beautiful piece of music that is an absolute bop and like i'm not surprised that this is not maybe popularly known but it's actually really good this is not one of those things i'm not like wade where this is like oh god it, it's terrible. It's unbearable. You should listen to it though. I mean, it's great. It's actually really good. I would recommend if you're not going to, don't listen to the whole thing unless you really, really want to. But if you listen to the title track, Common People, it's a really great song.

It's got good, solid instrumentals. It's a, it's a great song. Like the band that wrote the song. It's good. Shatner's part on it is amazing. Oh really? It's compelling. It's so good. it doesn't come off as

like satirical or like half-ass at all it's just really good and you would never expect it and my dad actually showed this to me I remember I my dad like picked me up from school or band practice or something and was like I got this new CD I think you're gonna like it I was like okay I doubt that but go ahead and he was like it's William Shatatner and he's like dad i don't care about star trek and and i'm a uh well who's the bald guy i'm a that guy anyway i don't know i'm not a star the card i'm a picard man anyway yeah well that joke doesn't really land if i don't know his name but uh but yeah my dad was a big trekkie and was like a shatner fan but then he started playing it and i was like oh what the fuck my dad recommended this and it's actually really cool this and the Jethro Tull Christmas

album two album recommendations for my dad that are actually really awesome what the hell um but anyway it's just it's hard to like explain but it's just you know it's the same vibe as the the Oscars performance he's talking he's saying the verses and the end and there is singing the singer Joe Jackson does a great job of doing some like you know indie pop singing he's like a very brit pop voice almost uh it's dope it's just such a good album and the song specifically is so good damn you'd never expect it even someone who was a shatner fan you'd say this that this exists and they'd be like yeah i heard about that i don't want i don't listen to that you should it's amazing it's really good plus it's arranged by ben folds which is a hilariously legit ref uh you know someone to have producing and working on music with william

chatter i like it's so crazy because like everything in my brain says like you described that that would be terrible or at least not good in a traditional sense that it's actually good content but like good in terms of that but is it actually highly rated okay so highly rated meh uh if you're gonna rate your music.com the single is rated at 3.46 out of 5 with 159 ratings which is okay uh but the ratings i think the thing about that is the ratings are either like four or five stars or one or two stars ah okay there's a lot of people who are like oh this song is great great song the original is good this is a good version of it shatner's awesome and then all the people who hate it are just like shatner's stupid this is contrived this is terrible i hate it uh but

you know it's just it's solidly rated by the people which is you know pretty good huh i actually kind of want to check that out myself it It's worth a listen. Very good. That was pretty cool. I'll give you... yeah, three points. Yeah, three points. Hell yeah. That's pretty good. Wait, that's the same as Wade got. Yeah. Pretty equivalent in my mind. You both did a great job. But my story

is not mean. Well, it doesn't need to be mean. I asked beforehand if there were any qualifiers and I was told no. There's no qualifiers. It's up there. Alright, alright, alright. These are the truths. Alright, wait, you got another one? Yeah, you ready?

I don't know if, so I've got one that I don't know for sure if it qualifies or not because I don't know what the general perception of it is. Only what I've heard from people like closer to me. So I'm going to throw one out there. I really like Yoohoo, the drink yoohoo okay which is essentially like chocolate flavored water and i don't know of anyone else that is really that accepting of the fact that i like drinking it i get made fun of all the time like yoohoo but i think it tastes really good i've never thought it was bad i think the phrase chocolate water sounds bad but the

taste of a yoohoo is good so i don't know if that qualifies as so bad it's good or not didn't we just on this very podcast last week or the other week or whenever it was discover that yoohoo actually does have dairy in it yeah i think so we did yes yes we did so it's not necessarily chocolate water it's still not chocolate milk but it's chocolate liquid oh yeah absolutely it's reconstituted dairy and chocolate and water yeah definitely so i don't know if that if you who fully qualifies because i mean it's sold at stores still some people buy it otherwise they wouldn't still make it but it's just one of those things that i enjoy like food and beverage i feel like it's tricky because everyone has different tastes but that's one of the ones i like that i know people are least accepting of sometimes maybe tacos are so

bad they're good to you if you give them a chance yeah maybe that's the problem you've been having really good tacos you need to get tacos from like they're so good they're bad the little push cart outside the staple center at a lakers game honestly those are kind of the best tacos yeah well i know i'm trying to trick them into doing it oh right yeah yeah okay yeah wade yeah sure whatever do that thing that bob said i'll try it again but you know it has been a few years since I've tried them. It's never, no, you won't. No, you won't. I will as long as there's something else for me to eat if that's horrible.

So, yeah, we're good. I guess I'm sort of selling myself out here, but I do just want to say the topic technically is so bad that it's good. All right. I feel like Yoohoo is kind of just so medium that it's medium. That's what I mean, though. Like, food and beverage is tricky because everyone's got their own opinion on it. I have a counterexample of something that I think is so bad that it's good. Okay.

Okay. I love these unabashedly, except it's completely private because I don't want anyone to know about it, so don't tell anybody, listeners. Funyuns are so bad that they're good. I don't know what the fuck is in Funyuns. As as i know it's made of crisped up lard and i don't know what they have to do with onions aside from the fact that they're rings and rings is a shape that onions can come in uh yeah but god damn it funyuns are so gross and bad and like artery clogging that they're good yeah they're delicious yeah i don't know if there's actually an onion in there and i would doubt it if someone said that there was

i would really truly doubt it no idea are there onions in funyuns are there onions there's no actual onion in the dough just some onion powder and natural toasted onion flavor in the seasoning my god onion powder is probably made from onions right well yeah but when you get a funyun i i actually until this very day have operated under the assumption that there was maybe the tiniest sliver of a ring of an onion inside a funyun oh so it's like a really small onion ring or like onion like chunks of onion or something yeah onion powder that's so funny i mean and if you look i would imagine that 90 of all snack things probably have onion powder in them because that's one of the most commonly

used seasonings in like any flavor that's like ranch or any of the doritos flavors anything like that where it's like a powdery seasoning type thing, probably has garlic powder, probably has onion powder, probably has like a dozen other things that a lot of them share as components. So the fact that it has onion powder in it means nothing to me.

God, that's- But I don't care that that's kind of concerning and gross. They're fucking delicious. And now I want Funyuns. You're not wrong. I do love myself a good Funyun as well, weirdly enough. And it's funny, because I'm not really trying to tear Yoohoo down. delicious and now i want funyuns you're not wrong i do love myself a good funyun as well weirdly enough and it's funny because i'm not really trying to tear yoohoo down i actually think

yoohoo is kind of fine it's not like outstanding but it's i would drink some i was like offered it yeah it's just not it's not bad see funyuns aren't one i've ever thought were like so bad because i i know a lot of people that like funyuns in my family people love funyuns really yeah funyuns and bugles interesting i guess what they're called bugles right the little like cone shaped oh dude bugles aren't bad at all these are just good yeah those are dope the bugles are good yeah okay uh there's probably more food examples i can't think of the top of my head but movies the scary movie franchise oh yeah okay right i actually went and i like rented them all like i think there's like five of them i

rented them all and i went through and watched them and i think the first two are definitely still the best of the bunch whenever they kept their r rating then they went more pg-13 and i don't know it lost maybe it was just that it was overdone i think it's three oh three you know what three has some of the best moments the hat the hat leslie nielsen the cocking the shovel like a shotgun and shells actually come out i laughed for five minutes straight when i saw three does have some of the very best moments i you know that's fair i i gotta give it to three three's definitely one of the better ones uh-huh but four and five kind of forgettable but yet i still like despite how bad they were they were still enjoyable to me yeah there's

something about that kind of humor that i just really enjoy and like that movie trope is overdone like there's like disaster movie hero movie i forgot all there's so many of them now yeah those are just so bad they're bad yeah it's a fine line for so bad it's good i feel like people like those though what are what are so rotten tomatoes tell me what are what are these things scary look up disaster movie specifically i think that was one of the ones i watched and it had like two or three moments that i really laughed at and the rest it was like my god they made this disaster movie rotten tomatoes movie three a one percent one percent a 21 audience score oh ouch oh my god but like i i think this is a solid one though because scary movie 3 critical tomato meter 35 audience score

54 yeah scary movie 3 would definitely that's not bad what about scary movie 4 and scary movie 4 i just watched them and i already cannot remember which one scary movie four was oh okay the solid scary movie four is basically the same story 35 on the tomato meter but 51 on the audience yeah that's mind-blowing to me because i didn't think four was anywhere close to three yeah i don't remember anything from four well people are idiots what can you do yeah man there's so many movies that you could pull from like scary movie five drops to a four percent yeah yeah 38 audience score though oh i should have stopped like uh there there's one movie that comes to mind i don't know if bobby you were thinking

of this one but i i kind of just reminded of it uh have you guys ever seen the velocipastor i mandy keeps wanting to watch it because it's on amazon and we've been watching psych lately dude it keeps coming up you gotta watch i know i've heard the velocipaster it is so it has a 60 it's so terribly made this is a perfect example of something that is so terrible just the effects don't make any sense the story doesn't make any sense nothing about it makes sense and yet you're right it has a 60 on rotten tomatoes and it's got 70 audience score just because it's so bad it is circled back around to good that is a prime example i haven't seen it but i have to believe it at this point yeah i've heard it from a lot of different people it's god the poster is just a complete lie compared to the actual

content they're in like just like this is the perfect youtube thumbnail of a poster for the velocipaster if you were listening at home haven't seen the poster for velocipaster go look it up it's really well made there was a youtube video i watched like uh eight seven or eight years ago it was like an interview style youtube video it was called like the fall of Slender Man or something so bad. It's good Thanks Wow dude attaching the lips to the cheek I Unironically I do still love that like I think it's fantastic. I do too. I go back and watch it all that's It's good you're wearing my suit

Yeah That slender costume is so bad. It's because you're wearing my suit. It doesn't fit. With that mask that we found. Yeah. Slender man. It's perfect. A wig for no reason. It's like a Rastafarian wig. Looked right to me. I don't know why you think it's so weird about it.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. Good times, good times. I just think it's cringy that you'd call such a cinematic masterpiece so bad that it's good. Yeah. What the hell? Well, comparatively, compared to what we could make now, isn't bad it's terrible i don't know i think it might be the best thing mark's ever made i don't know yeah oh he peaked early hard to compete with that everybody

watch in space then go back and watch fall of slenderman tell us which one you like better i guess i'm submitting this as my idea but it's also kind of a question because now i can't stop thinking about food yeah because your point about how you didn't think Funyuns is bad as a snack, that's just like a normal thing, had me curious. I like this one for this topic. Where does Taco Bell fall for you guys? Taco Bell. Oh, my God.

I like Taco Bell. I crave a Crunchwrap sometime. I know this is a tough one for you, Wade, so you can abstain or whatever. Their chips and cheese are great. Their nacho fries are delicious, but it's trashy, right? Is Taco Bell so bad that it's good? Or is Taco Bell just like, you know, trashy fast food and delicious? Where do you land?

I thought about this for fast food in general, because fast food, like you think about it and it's like, oh God, what am I actually eating? You watch how some fast food is made. It makes you feel sick. And yet you eat like a chicken nugget. You grab a burger from somewhere and it's like, oh, it good but then i don't know about you all but as i've gotten a little bit older i feel like shit after i eat fast food like oh absolutely yeah yeah so i feel like all of it can qualify as so bad it's good but it's also so bad that it's good that it's

bad it's like it circles back it's terrible then it tastes good and then it nearly kills you so i feel like it's so bad that it's good that it's bad so circled twice around you gotta take a modium and you'll cut that off before it gets around to bad again take some medicine it tastes so good that i would i i'm happy to deal with whatever process was that made it and i'm happy to deal with the pain and suffering that comes after eating it because it does sometimes it's like i want that burger or in your case it's tacos and whatever what about you judge mark of instant infinite infinite wisdom instant wisdom infinite wisdom oh i mean well there there was a whole thing about like taco bell meat containing sand sure sure uh so if you want to

go like on a fact-based level i don't know the exact facts but there was like i remember even an episode of stephen colbert the colbert report uh way back in the day there was a breaking down taco bell's meat because apparently in the ingredient list is silicon dioxide also known as sand um so if the jedi had that anakin would have lost yes good i see where you were going with that. I see where you were going. The Jedi just needed Taco Bell to defeat the Sith. Yes. Yes. An obvious connection. Thank you for drawing that line for us.

Happy to do it here. That's why you have me as the expert. That's why. Anyway, but also, I don't know where that stands. When it comes down to food like that, I think it's kind of what you were saying before about Yoo-Hoo. It's mediocre. The whole point of McDonald's, the entire point of their business model is to make the

most widely appealing food possible, which by definition means that it must be an aggregate of the average, right? It appeals to the average palate. Everyone can at least kind of like it. There probably won't be as many people that are yearning for any particular McDonald's thing. They would never pick it over a gourmet burger. Well, maybe some people would, I don't know. But if they had two on a plate and they were able to choose one, no cost, they would probably pick the better made burger. But it's like middle of the road, right? The only example of so bad it's good in terms of food that jumps out to me is my

addiction to sour candy and that's literally the bad is just it is so unbelievably bad for me that it's good what about like a waffle house or you know like one of those like diner like greasy spoon type diners would those qualify because like oh my god i could go for some waffle house but i know that that bacon is more grease than bacon dude absolutely yeah 100 that food is prepared poorly whereas mcdonald's i mean mcdonald's depending on the place is prepared poorly i think waffles everyone understands that food is not going to be nutritious for you or at least kind of maybe i buy it i buy it yeah how how can i like sour candy to the point that it absolutely does melt

my teeth and cause my mouth to bleed? It is quite literally bad for me, and yet I can't get enough of it. I will eat until blood flows. You're just a masochist. No, that's not what it is. No, I think that's it. You just like that it hurts, and the more it hurts, the more you like it. No, no, no, no.

And also, I am not a masochist. No one has any evidence. Sure, sure. Your mother had you tested. I've never seen you and a masochist. No one has any evidence. Sure, sure. Your mother had you tested. I've never seen you and a masochist in the same room at the same time. Yeah, how about that? I mean...

I can't argue with that logic. I'm going to deduct a point from Bob for the sass, and weirdly enough, I'm getting a point to Wade for making me laugh. For doing the sass? All right. No, no, Bob for the sass and weirdly enough I'm getting a point to Wade for making me laugh. For doing the sass? Alright. No, no, you started the sass. He added it. My jokes are so bad that they're good. Yeah, exactly. His sass was so bad it was good.

Woop woop! Alright. Well, the floor is open. I'm still- there's still plenty of points to be had. There's still plenty of bad and goods. I wonder, like we can keep going back and and forth but i wonder like what most people consider to be so bad that it's good like movie wise i was looking in like the room is a movie that i've not personally seen but that's like the number one on so many different lists so bad they're good i remember my mom watching like one of the original king kong movies where it was like clay i don't even know what how they made it but like it just it's like a kid playing with their toys and someone filmed it

from above and then like green screened out the hands wasn't very good but wow at the same time there was something endearing about it because you knew it was made so long ago and it's like wow things have come a long way like and that way it was interesting because it was like to see how effects have changed in like the last 70 years. So that part of it was interesting. But like... Yeah, some judgmental words coming out of a man who couldn't recreate those effects on his own, no matter how hard he tried. I am proud to be a shit lord, thank you.

A bunch of people doing the best that they could in a world where chroma keying doesn't exist. And when you're actually masking things out, you're literally painting a mask onto a sheet of glass and then holding that in front of the camera and then filming over the film again. Not my fault they were born in the wrong generation, dude. Listen.

I'm giving Bob his point back for sass because it's not pointed at me anymore. No, this does bring up an interesting thing that I know that I found really fascinating that I learned from Corridor because they talked about, they do their special effects reviews and stuff. Do you guys know the tornado in the Wizard of Oz movie? The old Wizard of Oz movie from like the 50s or 60s or whatever it is?

Yes, I think so. The tornado scene, right? There's no computer graphics. That's way before computer graphics was even remotely a thing. There's not really even compositing. Like you can't green screen stuff. 1939, by the way. Is that when that was made?

1939. Holy jeez. I got to pull uh tornado up again yeah i'm looking at i'm like trying to find a video of it here i've got a video anyway there's the tornado scene right the big wide shot where the house is there and there's this huge tornado whooshing and whooshing around oh wow if you know how it's made don't say but do you have any remote guess as to how they did that they put soda in a two liter connected it to another two liter swooshed it around and flipped it and that is way in that is wade's level of vfx

expertise all right all right good god that's a guess i'll accept that you have a guess mark uh well i'm looking at it at 127 in the video that i linked which shows the them going into the cellar it looks so convincing that looks straight up like they filmed a tornado but okay they didn't this is not obviously on location oh my god that's nuts the funnel itself looks like a string almost it's like only the ends that stuff happens the rest of it's pretty static yeah now that i'm really focusing the only thing i could imagine okay so this is modern technology clearly they're on a set there is some kind of a background there uh it doesn't look like

the trees are moving in the background so i'm guessing that that is either a static image or like if you look at the clip that starts at like 137 there's a lot more movement okay this does a this doesn't aside oh wow yeah like 157 though there's a tree that's not moving at all oh wow okay so but 137 is is telling okay so either way there must be some kind of background plate because this looks like a set in the horizontal movement so they had to control the image it's probably some kind of like cloth tube with like a string inside of it to give it that motion and then like smoke that it's billowing out the top and bottom and then they just blast the front where the actors are with wind going to the side

that'd be my guess that is impressively close so um i'm trying to make sure it points to mark oh thank you i might not remember completely correctly but basically your concept is correct mark it's not added in post though it that is all one shot is my understanding and what it is is a it's a muslin cloth tube which is kind of you can see through muslin it's opaque right so like things can get through it it's filled with sand or like dust and then there's like a fan at the bottom but the top of it is just attached to rigging and there's a dude moving it it's way it's in the background and it's got sand blowing out of it because it is being blown by fans and stuff and there's just a guy up in the top of the studio on some rigging of some sort sliding the tube around in charge of being the tornado guy that's super cool and it looks fantastic right

it looks amazing it affects the close-up effects of like the dusty with the leaves blowing and everything else like that really sells it too oh that totally sells it but even on its own like that's great in the background like this just goes to show like practical effects in terms of movie making is so much more valuable than people realize like you could do all the vfx in the world and it'll look like cg and that's good in some things like in space like that you can't practical a spaceship can't film in space it turns out exactly but this is really really well done and it just like it's really cool it's not even like bad good this is just this is fun right anyway suffice to say i think what you're talking Wade, is a claymation version of King Kong, where it literally is like some version of claymation where it's like one frame at a time. And I'm just, don't talk, don't talk shit. Okay. It's a, it's an accomplishment.

It doesn't look good compared to what you're used to or accustomed to as a citizen of the 21st century, but it's cool. if you learn how it works and what all they did to accomplish what they did and how they had to do it and how it was all like analog it's pretty cool and impressive honestly my bad i thought i was just following the theme of the episode i'll i'll rescind my comment it's not so bad it's good it's good it's just good all right my bad man it's gonna work yeah we're not critiquing things here mr torture your friends in a basement all right my bad my bad my, my bad, my bad, my bad. I don't know why.

Apparently, I just have really strong feelings about that. No, no, I totally get that because it is kind of a thing where it's easy to critique, right? It's easy to critique because if you don't understand what the work that went into it, or you feel like that work wasn't worth the effort, then it's so easy to dismiss it because that takes no effort at all. It's why the world and the internet is full of critics because that's easy to do. It's easy to dismiss it because that takes no effort at all it's it's why the world is and the internet is full of critics because that's easy to do it's easy to cast judgment it's hard to actually defend something my bad my bad yeah my bad yeah wade my bad my bad it's so bad it's good though or it's just so bad it's bad wow wow toxic this guy's toxic this guy is toxic this guy is completely

toxic i'm so good i'm bad man what can i say all right floor's still open well i got all worked up about the movie thing i kind of i kind of i gotta reset okay all right then wade you have a chance to redeem yourself i'm looking at the points right now and it's not looking good for you what do you mean i should be dominating right now my first one was so good it was so good it was good which is not the theme of the episode hence you're losing okay uh i'll think of something okay like okay what do you guys think of the episode hence you're losing okay uh i'll think of something okay like okay what do you guys think of the old action movies right like the old schwarzenegger or uh sylvester stallone action movies that are real like i think campy might be the term where they're just like cheesy like the original predator movie like i think the original predator movie is good

but it's also like if you watch it now and just see how campy it is like oh that's kind of so bad it's good right no those qualify nope no that's just good it's a good movie because even looking at in the context of when it was made it's even though that era was full of campy action movies those they were just good like if you judge it as a campy action movie just from that definition alone it's a good campy action movie yeah but if it came out like someone that's never seen it and they want they've seen the movies of the last decade the marvel movies and whatever else and they go back and they watch that one like would they how would that person feel about it guys we're not talking about that person we're talking about you damn it me why did you have to be born so long ago all right bob you had some i'm sure i guess i'm trying to think of video games and i

keep thinking i keep falling into the same trap basically like i know we're shutting way down pretty hard here but i keep thinking of two games are tough so i had a game that i really liked when i was a kid called battle tanks global assault it's an n64 game and i loved it i thought it was like one of the best games of all time battle tanks oh dude battle tanks actually global assault i think might be the playstation no no i also had battle tanks global assault okay okay good i fucking love that game dude battle tanks was awesome right it was awesome okay so that so both of those are n64 games i had the original battle tanks and i think i had global assault both of those were n64 games. So good. So good. If you find a video, like a YouTube

video of playback of it, like I'm trying to ignore the graphics and everything. If you just look at like the gameplay, I'm struggling to understand what I found so engaging about this. Yeah. Like I got, I gotta be honest. It was here. I'll post the video in the discord. If you guys want to look at it, it's, I'm thinking it's just a matter of this was a different time and despite how it looks and how stiff it looks the just the concept of i'm driving a tank and i'm blowing up other tanks and all this other garbage buildings and whatnot this is cool as shit it's it's so you know junky and clunky and bad that it's good but i don't know if it's so bad that it's good i think maybe it was just good i love battle tanks i can't tell but i can't give any points for that because it's just

good and anyone that says that that game is bad i will deduct points from them how do you feel about so there's a game called astroneer i don't know if you guys played astroneer astroneer is actually fun it's really fun but when it first launched it was really broken too. I streamed Astroneer at one point and you can build up to the point where you can build like spaceships. You can build like vehicles to like go across the planet. And we built this caravan, this truck with like two or three other like vehicles

connected to the back. And we were driving along and we were having such bad latency that for me, I was driving, everything looked fine. I was just driving across the planet, whatever. Everyone else that was with me, I think it was Molly and my friend Dan, were like freaking out like, oh my God, oh my God, everything looked fine. I was just driving across the planet, whatever. Everyone else that was with me, I think it was Molly and my friend Dan,

were like freaking out, like, oh my God, oh my God, everything's broken, oh God. Their perspective, we were just teleporting around, bouncing up and down, like shaking horrendously. And then at one point, I'm driving, and just all of a sudden, just at like the snap of a finger, I'm in orbit, and I'm descending down toward the planet.

Dan is in the center of the planet. I forget where Molly ended up. We just got teleported randomly. And I'm driving, toward the planet. Dan is in the center of the planet. I forget where Molly ended up. We just got teleported randomly and I'm driving all of a sudden, I'm falling to the planet and I look over and there in the distance floating in the sky, now orbiting the planet is our vehicle just floating there. And it was so broken. And yet I love that game so much more

before they patched it and fixed those bugs. Those bugs made that game for me. And I don't know if that aspect of it makes it so bad that it's good, but there are some times that the broken aspect of games are what make them fun. I completely agree. Because my opinions about Astroneer,

I was not going to give you the zippers, but the concept of games being so broken that they are fun, like that is half the enjoyment out of some of the games. If it doesn't just crash, it has to be specifically glitches that are so terribly insane that they just make you laugh. Game glitches in general. Like it sucked.

It takes a lot of investment to make those vehicles like that sucked. But the moment, especially as a creator, like that was such a golden moment to experience and have everyone else witness. And then I got to go back and watch everyone else's perspective of how horrible the drive looked whereas for me i was just cruising along smoothly then all of a sudden just in a blink of an eye i'm just in space and i just i'm looking down at the planet like oh god i'm gonna die from fall damage what happened and you look over and your truck is just fucking orbiting the planet like that was such a great moment and then you know they patched it because they didn't want people to play it not

lose all their shit as they were going along i get it but like yeah that's what made it fun for me was whenever stuff like that happened yeah bob about this do you remember when battlefield 4 had its beta yes do you remember all of the glitches of like people turning into horrible like their neck and arms got stretched out you'd see like a head poking out from behind a hill just bobbing up and down as they were crawling on the ground that game and all of its glitches i mean battlefield 4 was good i did enjoy it but the beta more than any other like testing of a game that i've ever played in my life it was so horribly broken i do remember that it was really funny i loved every second of it it's funny

you mentioned battlefield the new battlefield everyone kind of stopped playing and like there was a thing where you could drive a hovercraft up the side of a building and park it on a roof yeah like you could go up a tower like a fucking skyscraper and just drive if you ramped up the right way it wasn't hard i did it multiple times yeah yeah no it wasn't difficult but it's just like that in a game series that you think kind of takes itself seriously that is so out of place but i absolutely love the new battlefield like i i want to keep playing it but everyone else has kind of quit on it because you know it's buggy not a whole lot of variety of maps on launch it's like today's world getting four maps or whatever it is on launch just doesn't feel like much but i absolutely loved it despite how broken it was i feel like that's such a good highlight of this

topic because where we are right now i'm a battlefield fan i've been playing battlefield since like oh three probably i got really into and i've played subsequent installments the battlefield life cycle in general is the game has a beta, maybe. It's usually a hilarious mess. The game comes out. It's usually broken pretty dramatically in some ways. There's some glitches that kind of ruin it or some glitches that are really funny, but kind of unfair or kind of ruin the point of the game, which is like a big team shooter vehicle flying around, blowing stuff up kind of thing uh but then eventually like three to six months into its life the battlefield game is fixed they patch all this stuff and like

battlefield 4 was that right it launched and it was kind of a mess it was kind of fun and the levolution like kind of hokey and whatever but it was fun the levels were cool it was fun time as far as i remember it but it didn't work quite right it reached a point where they patched it into being pretty much working in pretty good shape and like i played a lot of that game it was a fun game loved it good times the current one 2042 that you were talking about wade it launched it had a beta was a nightmare it launched still a nightmare still and i stopped playing and i'm one of those people who gave up on it we're in the point now where i hope i was sort of hoping it would have already been fixed but they need to fix it and it will probably

be a solid title at some point here and be really fun one why is that the way it always goes but two it's a weird thing because right now the new battlefield is so bad that it's bad for me it's so painful and bad that i just quit playing and angrily uninstalled it for my computer but there's a point where it's like they fix enough of it and they leave the right ones in or they're not able to fix them. Like you said, Mark, there's these funny glitches. It's kind of so bad, but it's good. Yeah.

It's a battlefield thing. It's a good example of it because stuff can come around. Yeah, it is. It's strange. It's like an unconscious, like as a group, people like unconsciously know when something is bad, but in a good way and it does depend on the era like we touched on this before but it kind of does depend on the area because i guess you know wait maybe i was unfair about the whole like action movie thing because

i guess if you did look at those from today's standards of movies they are hokey and bad and the stories don't really make a lot of sense and they would be objectively rated as bad uh but in a way action movie people they love that shit they love it because of that shit so maybe maybe i was wrong about that i'm not gonna give you any more points for it but maybe i was wrong your judging was so bad it was bad i get it wow i thought your judging was great mark and very fair you know i was just going on your side way now i i i'm now gonna deduct another point. Painfully fair, even. I love it. Judge me harder. Bob, you get a point.

Oh, judge me easier. Wade, you lose a point. Again? Was that the click of your keyboard deleting Wade's point? Yes, it was. God, I love that. That's such a good sound. It's so bad, it's good. Keep going, Wade. Keep going.

I'm afraid. You should be. All right, we're talking about games. I'm just curious if you guys have played this. Have you played EnviroBear 2000? Enviro... No. Wait, why does this sound familiar?

It's a game where you're driving a car. It's like a 16-bit, very pixelated thing. You're a bear driving a car. Holy shit. There's leaves and bees and fish and raccoons and things oh jesus i remember seeing this i never played it i remember seeing this i loved enviro bear 2000 i love that game and it is yeah i don't know if it's exactly a perfect representation but man is that such a piece of shit that it's good. Oh yeah, absolutely. Like indie games is a whole era.

That's what Surgeon Simulator kind of started as. It's just like a shitty surgery game with bad controls, you know, but people fucking loved it. I hated playing it, but people loved it. Remember when we were playing it on like PlayStation and we were all together in the same place and then you were with Wade and then you yelled wade and it was really awkward for everybody you two recorded it and like mark was in a bad mood and then he was like all right wait we're gonna record

it now and i was like okay and i dropped the spoon and i have never ever forgotten what happened after i lost that spoon i i don't remember it's been burned from my i think you probably blacked out in an unbridled rage you were in a blind rage when i lost that spoon yeah you know i actually thought we were gonna get my murder alive on camera yeah yeah well it's starting to come back it was so scary it was good yeah exactly yeah i got the sloppy seconds that day and it was not good. That was the first time I ever played that game. I had a great time.

It was fun. Yeah, you guys had an okay time, but I could tell Mark by the end of it was like, Okay, I gotta do it one more time. I can do this. And then he played with me, and it all went to shit. I don't even know if that was ever posted or if it just stopped because Mark lost his goddamn mind. No, no, I posted it. I take full ownership

of those sweet rage views legit yes indeed you do something very satisfying about the clip of you throwing the chair because you're playing uh getting over it yes i don't like rage not in like a scary way but in like a concerning but also very real and raw way yep yep i had to quit that one dude i you get to a point where it's like at first you're just like you know whatever happens happens it's for the content but at some point your brain switches from comedy and entertainment to actually just like okay i was hoping to show something else on camera but for 40 fucking minutes i've been trying to get up this one wall i finally did i fell down immediately and just something in you snaps and it changes you yeah i love that game i had a good time playing it changes you it sure does didn't even play it

for content i just played it for fun and that's what we love those games for so bad that it's good right stuck again mark why what you both dog what okay great do you actually want me to understand or i'll close the episode doesn't matter now i just want to do a bit again all right that'll wrap up this episode of distractible we hope this episode was so bad it was good it's a fine line but i think we want it now i have to tabulate the points here i thought you were just gonna skip that part and just wind it down i thought you were just gonna skip that part and just wind it down. I thought you were just gonna do that over and you'd never know. No winners today, obviously, clearly. Doesn't need to be a winner here, we all know what's going on.

No, I'm gonna tabulate the points. I'm, let's see, uh, uh, carry the five, fifteen over the... Put some animal noises in, Will. Hmm, alright. Purge that. Demons. And... then will so despite all of his deductions like it was no joke i was typing gibberish i have the numbers in front of me obviously uh despite all of the deductions in a stunning turn of events wade has won by one point. Exactly one point. And it's because I didn't technically deduct that last point as a real deduction.

It was a joke deduction. But if I had, it would have been a tie. I would have gone to tiebreaker. But to be perfectly honest, he won by one point. Which means that Bob lost by one point. You know what? You deserve it, Winn. Because I only like things that are so good that they're good.

It's just the kind of man I am. And my content is so bad that it's good to some. And I'll take that. All right. Is that your speech or do you want to try again? I feel like that speech was pretty bad. I'm going to stick with it. All right.

Sounds good. And Bob for the loser speech. Way to earn this one. I really had no good ideas today. I don't even know why I was allowed to continue competing after I started making fun of Mark. So I'm just glad I still have a job and hopefully they'll invite me back next week.

We'll see. I'm the judge and the answer is maybe. Alright, that's all we can hope for. Thank you everybody so much for listening. Remember to subscribe to this podcast. Please do. Otherwise, how are you going to know that we upload every Monday? How? If you listening at home are seething at the mouth, because if seething at the seething at the frothing at the mouth, foaming at the mouth, if you're frothing at the loins at things that you

know are so bad that they're good, we want to hear about it. Go to the subreddit reddit.com slash r slash distractible and post your things that you know are so bad, but they are still good. And if you also agree that something is bad, but also good, upvote that post or comment or whatever it is. You'll find it. Go to the subreddit. You'll figure it out. You can find me at Mark Plyer.

You can find Wade at LordMinion777. Bob at MiceCrim. All on the internet. And you can find our new merch at store.distractablepodcast.com. Go check it out. Get a Candy Uncle shirt and some candy and a life lesson that will last a lifetime. Thank you. Podcast out.