Distractible - The Boys Bet It All

Episode Date: August 1, 2022

Mark whips up a new timed gamemode where Bob and Wade race to Google topics. The slower they take to find their topic, the more points they get deducted and added to the winner's pot... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable, a Wood Elf production. This week, Mark offers franchises pot and time limits, Wade stamps Shakira with his approval while searching funny beavers, Florida Man attempts to mow into the horizon, and Bob stretches his backyard while googling supermassive black holes. Yes, it's time for The Boys Bet It All. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome back to Distractible, the podcast.

What? Just the way you said hello, I've never heard you talk like that. Hello. Hello. Why are you questioning him? He always speaks this way. I always. Hello. Hello. Why are you questioning him? He always speaks this way. I always. Hello. Hello.

And welcome. Anyway, sorry, go ahead. I always intro a podcast like a witch opening a door to trick-or-treaters. Hello. My, my. What lovely contestants you are. I just want some candy, Mrs. Witch. Oh, a witch am I.

You want candy? How about some ladies' fingers? Anyway. I'm sad I won't be allowed to have any more of those. This is distractible. The podcast where we have a very consistent format that is repeated every week and nothing is ever deviating from that um and the judging is completely fair and done by me it's a formula that's proven to work yes it can work for you as well if you want to franchise our podcast you can buy our franchise kit and at a nominal 60% licensing fee, you too can make a distractible affiliated podcast.

Really? How much do we get from that? Potential franchises are limited to acceptable plots of land only. Plot must be approved by the distractible board before your franchise may open. We have a board? I really need to pay attention more. bored before your franchise may open. We have a board? I really need to pay attention more. We were talking last episode about how bad

of a listener you are. You miss a lot. Yeah, you miss a lot. God. A lot, man. I thought the meetings were optional. Well. Well! Yeah, I mean, technically I guess. I have important stuff. Am I getting paid for this? Technically?

Technically. Good enough for me good good no more questions good good good good okay so how are you guys doing would you like to partake in any small talk could i just say this is a little dated at this point by probably years but man tom holland's performance we're doing rihanna's umbrella top Top tier. And Shakira, always top tier. Just generally Shakira, good stuff. Yes. Just Shakira, top tier. One of my two ever celebrity crushes growing up in life.

Whatever you're doing, keep it up, Shakira. Yeah. Whenever, wherever. Wade approved. Killing it, Shakira. The stamp that really matters, wherever. Wade approved. Killing it, Shakira. The stamp that really matters, mine. Mm-hmm. Small talk, small talk, small talk.

No. All right. Good job, everybody. I'm going to award both of you 200 points. Oh, yes. That's a lot of points. Yeah. Yes, it is. Assuming it's the usual standard point scale, nothing crazy is happening right now.

Yes, nothing crazy is happening at all. I feel very reassured. Aggressively reassured. Between this voice and the witch opening i feel not assured at all maybe we get points for doing voices voices oh you think you get points yeah you gave us you just gave us to each of us 200 points said that out loud uh you think you will further get points that is sort of the bit i don't know will i hope there's scary music going on in the background if it's like a circus i'm gonna be very upset and lightning crashes of thunder anyway so today we're going to play a fun

little game okay it's open-ended but not quite as open-ended as anything goes in the same vein i want you guys to bring me entertaining things on the internet that you have found i will take literally anything and it is a competition i will declare a winner on who is the funniest. However, the catch. You each have 200 points, correct? Yes. Yeah, I believe so. The catch is for every second that you take to search for a thing, I will deduct one point

and put it into the pot. Okay. The winner of that round will get the entirety of the pot, which is the entirety of the time it took both of you to go find that thing. Understood. So you have an advantage for getting speed. If you have things in mind, you don't have to sacrifice that many points.

If you take your time, you might find something better, and that could help you in the long run. But if you take too long and don't find something, the point meter caps out at one minute if you don't find anything in that minute all 60 points will be put in the pot and you will be at a grand disadvantage for that round i like it okay i'm with you yeah okay all right okay everybody happy with that wade's not saying a lot of affirmative things i just want to make sure he's here with us i kind of have zoned out i'm not gonna lie Right. Okay. Everybody happy with that? Wade's not saying a lot of affirmative thing. I just want to make sure he's here with us.

I kind of have zoned out. I'm not going to lie, but I think I've got the gist. I think he might be going to Google ahead of time. Don't you dare. Huh? Share me your screen. Uh, no. Wade, share me your screen.

Do I have to? Yes. This is the honor system. You guys cannot look up anything outside of the time. This is the honor system. Let me check your shit. There you go. I'm watching Shakira perform at the Super Bowl.

You're watching Shakira? Were you even listening to anything I said? Oh my God. Oh my God. I was wherever, whenever in it, man. Oh my god. Oh my god. I was wherever whenever in it, man. Oh my god. I had all this prepared. I spent so long

thinking how this would work. I am ready to compete and Google things. What are we doing? Give me a reiteration of what we're doing. Okay, we have to find things that you find funny quickly or we lose points and something about all the points bob that was kind of close but not exactly i'm

going to start you off at a handicap wade i'm deducting 20 points is that good or bad that's bad wait do those go in the pot or what because those are just out of the game now that kind of hurts both of us potentially out of the game so if bob did nothing for the rest of this episode he would win that's giving him the handicap not me isn't that supposed to be a good thing if you get a handicap you're like saying oh okay you start with an advantage you're starting with a disadvantage no i said i am handicapping you that's like golf oh where where you start you get a an advantage or something this is not golf okay well i don't know what all that means but i sound like i'm being screwed that's fair you're being punished go watch your shit gear all right i'm still streaming if you guys want to watch with me

i'll turn that on i guess is there sound yeah is there sound yeah oh yeah no okay i'm not hearing anything you have to you have to unmute it but there you can listen to it that's just really getting it yeah we're recording i should probably probably all right we can whatever it's fine oh okay yeah are you here now we'll catch that later we'll catch that are you worried about the episode now are you well for will's good gracious i'm just sitting here drooling over myself so i'll stop all right fair enough okay wow wade is quickly turned into the creepy old guy drooling at shakira how could you what do you mean i've always been creepily drooling you're uh you're right okay i'm gonna bump you back up to 200 points because that was that was

fun so uh this is a thing so just, it is in the allotted time. Do not look up anything outside of that time. You can find something as soon as possible, but you have to keep Google open on its homepage. That's the rule. So open up a browser, put Google, just google.com and whatever the front is. Wade, just out of curiosity to ensure compliance, what is the Google art for today? Because I'm looking at it and I know what it is, but do you recognize this? It's, well, it was a G with a honeycomb, but now it's showing space pictures from the telescope.

Okay, that's the James Webb Space Telescope. Yeah. It's the honeycomb of golden mirrors. And then there's some panties that look like a ship that the honeycomb's taking pictures on. That might be Shakira. I don't think that's quite right. Look at it for a while. Once the honeycomb's on like a pair of, it looks like a pair of panties with a camera.

I don't know, man. It looks like a spacecraft. I guess you could say it's panties. That is not. That is panties. I guess you could say it's panties. That is not. That is panties.

And so to confirm also just a little bit more, when you find your whatever it is, you have to paste it into Discord at the moment that you find it. And that is my entry for to stop the timer for you guys. Okay. All right. Well, so is it collectively the timer or is there a timer for each of us? So if I find something in two seconds, but Wade takes the whole minute, how does the points work? Yeah, I've got it lapped.

So I've got a time stopwatch here. I hit start. When the first person says paste it in, I hit lap. And then the other person, I'll stop it. Okay. You guys at home, Google this stuff yourself. I guess you could watch and laugh. No, you it's you're Googling things that are funny stories to talk about for

podcasting. Don't Google funny videos. Wade. Oh, were you thinking to do that? Wade? Of course I was following the rules. Well,

it's not even a rule. You're on a podcast. Oh, okay. Oh my God. So, so look, so I'm not going to help you.

Just Google whatever you want, buddy. All right. Are you guys ready for the first round? Yeah. Yes. All right. Now. What's the topic?

Never mind. I'm good. Okay, here we go. I'm ready. Three, two, one, go! Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Could they be images or do they have to be stories? Whatever you want, buddy. Whatever you want buddy whatever you want i found this funny picture does that? And that's a lap for Wade.

It's literally... Okay, I'm done. Okay. Oh my god. Okay, so Wade came in at 37 seconds with his, so I'm deducting 37 points and putting it in the pot da da da bob you got in at 49 seconds i'm deducting 49 putting in the pot the pot has a total of 86 points in it wade what is your interesting thing you've brought to the table this guy got hit in the face with a ball and the picture was taken right as it collides and his face is so stupid i mean it's yeah that's happening since you guys are laughing i feel like i did a good job i'm laughing not in the picture just in the fact that you brought it it's like a kid at show and tell i brought his

picture of a guy getting hit with a ball all right bob what do you got what do you got okay well i thought i'd start off with a guaranteed strong one uh florida man oh that's a good yeah that's smart deputies of the okaloosa county sheriff's office were trying to serve an arrest warrant on a 40 year old florida man this weekend when they uh approached his property he was in the backyard on a riding mower uh mowing his lawn presumably the officers shouted at him to stop get off the mower and get on the ground. And instead, Florida man decided he was going to get away on his trusty steed and punched it on the riding mower. Deputies chased him down on foot and tasered him and he fell off of the mower. Did he get to finish mowing?

He did not. Did he get pulled under the mower? No, he fell off of the mower. Did he get to finish mowing? He did not. Did he get pulled under the mower? No, he fell to the side. It was, he didn't get very far. It turns out riding mowers are pretty slow. Although once they had him restrained, the deputies searched him. He had a revolver, a handcuff key, and a meth pipe with meth in it tucked in his waistband. So he wasn't just mowing the lawn.

He was multitasking. That's ready to go. Do you guys want to know what the fastest lawnmower in the world is? Are you going to talk about lawnmower racing? Because I love me some lawnmower racing. I have the Guinness record of the fastest lawnmower. Do you have extensive knowledge in lawnmower racing? I'm going to guess that it's 53 miles per hour i know that lawnmower racing is not a straight line sport so if this is some

sort of custom lawnmower it probably goes faster than the ones that i've seen but lawnmower racing is like dirt track racing with custom lawnmowers but the engines are not modified so it's like normal stock lawnmower engines it's really fun they go easily 40 or 50 miles an hour i think but i don't know i don't know what the fastest is i would love to see it with an actual like lawn the fastest lawnmower record is 143 miles an hour holy was it mowing a lawn at this speed or was it just racing did you say 143 143 miles an hour i was close no okay okay i feel like there has to be a qualification though that it was technically mowing a lawn when it hit that speed or like there's a patch of grass at the end of the drag strip and they have to engage the motor right at

the time when they go over it i want to see the world record for fastest mowed lawn. Like the same lawn had to be mowed by different lawnmowers. And who could do it the fastest? I feel like if you're going to have that Guinness World Record, that has to be part of it. You can make anything fast. Yeah. The world's fastest go-kart is probably a go-kart chassis with a bunch of modified stuff and like a motorcycle engine on it.

Yeah. Then it's not a go-kart chassis with a bunch of modified stuff and like a motorcycle engine on it yeah then it's not a go-kart is it no it's not doing the thing it's designed to do and it's completely unsafe and unwieldy i want to see the fastest lawn mower actually mowing a lawn i think that's a way more impressive feat yeah absolutely no way they cut any grass at 140 whatever miles an hour i know right zero chance i mean at that point it is just a car like you put an engine on four wheels and you have a cart or a car of some kind just because it technically has a blade if that blade wasn't going when it was happening it's not a lawnmower yeah it's not mowing a lawn and like i'm sure like it could mow a lawn or something. I'm sure it met some stipulation, like the blade was engageable, but that's not impressive. Yeah. It's not mowing lawn.

It's just a fast car with a thing under it on the bottom of it that could mow a lawn. It's not a lawnmower. Or what if it's the fastest lawnmower as in the person and he's mowing a lawn with a weed whacker out the side, but he's in a in the jet from top gun the newest one he's doing mock knife well i was gonna say if it's the fastest human lawnmower it's got to be with a scythe then right it's got to be human powered oh my god a guy on foot with those scythes that they use to cut grass yeah huge swathes very cool looking very impressive very impressive do the ones count that aren't like gas powered like there's like the push mower

that's just like the blades and that spin when you push the wheel does that count i would say that's a little bit of mechanical advantage but i like that's still powered by the human yeah anything that is mowing the lawn you are cutting grass therefore you are mowing the lawn. You are cutting grass, therefore you are mowing the lawn. I would be okay with that. At the speed at which you travel and are able to do that task. I think a scythe would honestly be faster than one of those rotary push blade ones. Because you could just cover so much more ground width-wise. Yeah, it would probably be more aerodynamic too.

Yeah. I get real tired of spinning in circles after a while though. You don't have to spin like it. Oh, rotational speed. Now you're thinking way. That's pretty good. Thank you. Well, that just sounds dangerous.

Oh, none of this else sounded dangerous. The fastest lawnmower blade rotation. This isn't about safety. It's about speed. Right, right. He's got a point. That's true. That's true.

However, this first round i'm gonna give this to bob his topic led to way more discussion florida man florida balls to the face for years we didn't talk about it for 10 seconds that's because you guys laughed and moved on the way comedy is meant to be not dissected i tried man i sat there and tried to die and i said yep that's a picture of what you said. It's all I could think of. I enjoyed our discussion, but I laughed more at my image. All right.

Well, that's not a fair point. Therefore, you don't get any points. Bob wins the pot, which was 86 points. Wade with a whopping negative 49 net from that one the score is now bob with 249 delicious seconds with which to peruse his next topic and wade you have 151 points left what happens if one of us runs out of points you only get however many points you have to search for something and then you're done it is game over i'm gonna have to give w give Wade some gimmies. Oh, God. I got to go to the negatives again? No.

What did I just say, Wade? I don't know. I was Googling. What did I just say? You're Googling. Stop Googling. I needed to cheat. Share your screen.

Oh, God damn it. Don't pull up a tab of security. Honestly, don't be too hard on Wade, because this episode is going to end in like 20 minutes if we don't give him a break here, I think. No, no, no, no. All right. I'm back at Google.com. I thought we were supposed to use Google.net.

Yes, I'm ready. Wade, are you ready? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Go in three, two, one. Go! We'll be sure to put in a lot of typing and some dramatic intense music like a spy movie Uh-huh. Oh, this isn't what I thought was gonna happen I'm done

done I don't see anything I'm copying and pasting I just it took me longer I had to say I'm done too I can't afford to lose any more points bam okay alright that was pretty good came in pretty close there Bob you were in 37 seconds.

Wade, you were in at 41 seconds. Okay. So. You're a lakess. Don't you cheat. Alright, Bob. You were in first, therefore you go first. Okay, so I just want to preface this one by saying that I'm playing each round of this

with like a theme in mind. My gimmick for this round, my theme was I free associated some words, which I ended up having me type into Google google happy mouse inside fun time and i once i had finished free associating i scrolled for the first thing that wasn't a video or an image or like a link to buy something on amazon okay so the link that i have is to bellaonline.com the voice of women and this is an article by connie missler davidson called harry the happy mouse activity book review oh wow as we all know harry the happy mouse stars in the series of picture books by author ngk he's beautifully drawn by janelle dimmit who also does the illustrations for this activity book

the whimsical pictures perfectly illustrate author ngk's text about harry and his friends uh anyway suffice to say connie is pretty hype about this activity book. It's designed for ages five and up, so younger children might not get as much out of it, but the print is pretty large. Each page is a colorable page, so there's a lot of coloring activities. And although there are puzzles and things

to get the kid thinking, none of the pages are presented as just a boring puzzle on a boring background. So this is really an interesting and engaging activity book. The big thing that Connie wants everyone to remember is when you're picking out activity books or gifts or puzzles or things for children, it's too easy to think, oh, I would have fun doing this. You have to remember,

are you buying this for you or are you buying this for this child? Wow. And are you going to enjoy this or is your child going to enjoy this? So if your child is a fan of Harry the Happy Mouse, this might be a great book. If they like coloring,

if you look at the puzzles and they seem like they'd be something you could, you know, you just have to think about who is this for and don't buy activity books for yourself. You're adult wow i gotta tell you when harry the happy mouse activity book sales spike in a couple weeks from recording they're not gonna know what the hell hit them are we the elon musk of children's books harry the happy mouse is going to the moon kiddos he might have made dogecoin spike but we're making harry the happy mouse spike oh wow i gotta google harry the happy mouse oh it looks delightful it does doesn't it the illustrations honestly are great

oh it actually does why did you need to look it up con Connie gave it a glowing review. Wasn't that enough for you? Well, I saw the picture on the website, but it didn't seem to be indicative of what it actually was. I like grass and mushrooms grow out of this book. Yeah, but if you look up the actual book, it's not quite like that. But I do like the art of this book. It does feel a lot like the kind of books I read as a kid, the kind of same illustration and color.

It feels like very hand drawn. I do enjoy that and as mysterious as the author ngk sounds i'm sure oh no there are other books interesting there's different people okay it's not the same i just saw combating corruption encouraging ethics the civil engineering handbook and then Harry the Happy Mouse. Different authors. I'm like, what is going on here? Also, Adamant Spirits, an Anthology of a Romantic Urban Fantasy Science Fiction and Paranormal Romance for Ukraine. Look, in no way is this an endorsement of NGK or Harry the Happy Mouse.

I'm really more interested in bella online and how it's the voice of women yeah which is fascinating i like the picture of connie in the right side i do think that lends a lot of credence to their reviews she seems very relatable yes exactly based on purely this picture i would trust her insights into an activity book for a young child please don't crash this website i don't imagine they get a lot of traffic please the week following this episode's release this well online's webmaster is gonna be like oh oh are we in trouble what happened did someone do something anyway that's my submission all right that was much more entertaining than it than I first thought it would be.

So well done. This is the worst subject ever because I'm so much funnier than anything I can search. All right, Wade, you haven't even gone yet. Why are you underselling yourself? I'm willing to laugh at anything. So give it to me. Give me some good stuff. I'm ready.

So I'm stealing comedy from thefunnybeaver.com. I've literally Googled, please help me find short funny stories and here we are Boy do I have a plethora for you Your mastery of search term optimization is just enthralling and impressive in all kinds of words

This is truly incredible, I'm so ready I'm ready to be enthralling and impressive and all kinds of words. This is truly incredible. I'm so ready. I'm ready to be enthralled. Thank you. All right, I'm going to give you guys a choice. Sex or divorce? You should choose, Mark. You're the judge here.

Okay, I choose divorce. All right. An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. 45 years of this misery is enough. Pop, what are you talking about? The son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer, the old man says. We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking

about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her yourself. And hangs up. Frantically the son calls his sister who explodes on the phone. They're not getting divorced if I have anything to do about it. She shouts I'll take care of this. She calls Phoenix sister who explodes on the phone. They're not getting divorced if I have anything to do about it. She shouts, I'll take care of this. She calls Phoenix immediately and screams at the old man. You are not getting divorced.

Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing. Do you hear me? And hangs up. The old man hangs up the phone and turns to his wife and says, Okay, they're coming for Thanksgiving. What are we doing about Christmas?

the phone and turns to his wife and says okay they're coming for thanksgiving what are we doing about christmas it was a ruse a ruse i tell you or at least the people at the funny beaver.com tell you you know what if a beaver told me that story it would be really funny i don't have an artist or author's name for who wrote this but the funny beaver has it so it must be theirs i mean the beaver wrote it obviously comedy beaver came through for you absolutely i've never heard of the funny beaver.com but everyone please crash please don't crash this site they don't have an image of connie but she does look trustworthy and don't crash this site either. This site is very telling because there's a lot of ads on here, right?

But every... Oh, there's one or two. Every single ad is something that I have recently searched for and this really makes me concerned at how accurately... Why do I have a vibrator and a vacuum cleaner? I'm sorry.

Nothing, go ahead. and a vacuum cleaner. I'm sorry. Nothing. Go ahead. A vibrator and a vacuum cleaner? That is an interesting combination. We know how those go together. Not together, but there's an ad of each on top of you. Interesting.

Mine is an electric bike converter kit, a 3D printer, actually two different 3D 3d printers a wallet and a portable power supply That's what I got back to school stuff Small rig camera camera cages and a trip to the Grand Canyon What kind of I wait no talk more about I want to hear about this vibrator what is this about? I don't know it It's switched off. I scrolled down. I scrolled back up, and now it's granulated sugar.

No. The algorithm is like, what does this guy want? I don't know where the vibrator went. He's all over the place. What do we give him? Sugar. Everybody likes sugar. The vibrator was black and purple.

That helps. Do they even buy ads for sugar? I don't know. Maybe I did do this in incognito. So maybe it's because it's incognito. Yeah, why are you in incognito? Go back to... Yeah, that's not fair.

Yeah, that's not fair. I was... What do you mean it's not fair? That's... I want your personal search history to influence this. It's not fair. Absolutely. What?

That was never announced in the rules when i was listening now i'm getting lilienthal berlin chronograph blue orange watch advertisements and i just got his cox tailored business insurance for online retailers cox too you got his cox are you ready to live your business dream i am i quote. Whenever, whenever, we'll always be together. What, are you listening to Shakira? I'm listening to Shakira. Shut up. I'm here.

All right, yeah, sure, okay. Oh, there's a tab called Make Your Meme. Make Your Meme? They have a meme template thingy that's really janky looking. Wow, that is old school. Mine came up with the American Chopper meme, where it's the dad yelling at the son and then he throws the chair. Uh-huh.

Nice. Classic. Mine's Kermit looking at hooded Kermit. You know, the do it one. And a few electric bikes. But please, dear God, Super 73 sponsored this podcast give us all free electric bikes dude i would do the podcast on my super 73 or money i take money too i would ride my super 73 all the way to la and then do a podcast with mark i'll ride it to the bank

why who goes to the bank because money's coming too probably right i would like that part all right i have to say this is weirdly closer than i thought it would be aha wade your website that you brought the funny story it was okay the ads pretty cool however i gotta say bella online and the harry the happy mouse was both hilarious to me and then delightful like if i'm just gonna go on a laughs per second kind of uh experience and then joyfulness in my heart wade you had a lot of laughs towards the end there bob i was laughing in the beginning and i gotta admit not entirely thinking you were gonna win but then you turned it around somehow i'm gonna eek this one out in bob's favor i cannot believe that that ended up working that was a terrible plan i don't know i can't either that was the worst thing i've ever seen in my life yeah wade no your website don't be mad

as far as comedy goes wade your website was really a garbage heap it was pretty much the worst thing i've ever seen at least it was comedy mine was quite funny and entertaining my god i had vibrators and plot twists if you could remember if you could remember what the vibrator was and go to that website right now i might i might be inclined purple and black vibrator and this is on my regular search history share your screen screen. Share your screen. Share your screen. Share your screen. Okay. Share your screen. If it's Shakira, I'm not going to be mad.

It's not. I hid that tab. He's rearranging. He's shifting things around. He's cheating. I'm making sure I'm sharing the right screen. I've got three monitors. Watching.

Okay. Okay. All right. Okay. Let's see. See if I can find it. Wow. Those all kind of look the same.

We are looking at a lot of vibrators. Very purple. Very good. That one is a weird shape. These are mostly purple. There's Hank from Breaking bed how much purple how much black oh i think it was this one oh really oh yeah because it kind of looks like a microphone at first but it's definitely not oh this is the doxy die cast purple plug-in vibrating wand massager all right only 189.99 jesus it costs that much to get off? Good God, no way. Hey, it's got clear plastic chassis construction

with probably real metal chrome head there at the top of it. Any sad dude at a bar is cheaper than $200. Wow. Oh, gross. Those are not the same thing. All right. I was on your side, Wade, and now I'm clearly off your side. All right, Bob.

Oh, come on. The Dixie Doxie die cast doxy die cast no no no bob wins if you think sad dude at a bar offers the same type of satisfaction that mechanical never stopping ceaseless machine of pleasure has to offer i think you don't understand the nature of bar dudes i really don't i would buy the vibrator before i would buy the vibrator before i'd buy sad dude at the bar you think these work on dicks i mean only one way to find out it probably feels good i don't know discreet shipping molly would never know order one i want to watch while you do it i win if i buy one from this sketchy site right now the round if you buy one a hundred percent i will give it to you i don't know if i trust this website with my credit card dallas novelty is an extremely trustworthy website yeah look at the discount it's

discreet shipping sex is for everybody at dallas novelty yeah sex is for everybody and everybody is in rainbow colors i would give you the round and even I'll throw in a few points on top. I approve of this message. Yeah. Oh, wait, there's coupon codes? Ooh. Oh, yeah, no, yeah. See if you can get, like, a Groupon for that or something.

Yeah, is there a Groupon for Dallas Novelty? Do you have Honey installed? You have Honey? I don't. Go to honey.com slash ting slash phil or something. I don't have any of that. I guess I'll take the L. I don't know to honey.com slash ting slash phil or something i don't have any of that i guess i'll take the l i don't know if i want to buy this it's right there wade i don't know if the win is worth 200 you're choosing to lose wade this podcast is now pay to win god this is in

my search history now this is your this is your pay to win mechanic I know you love those mobile games. Oh my god. I'm reserving a future episode idea for a pay to win mechanic. Oh god, jeez, no. Oh yes, please. Oh, yuck. Why is there a picture of this guy in the middle of this? I know, Hank, for breaking that. What the fuck?

He's looking at the wall of vibrators. Anyway, we gotta move on. We've only gotten two rounds in and we're more than halfway over. These purple ducks vibrate. All right. The current standing is Bob with a whopping 290 points. Wade, you have 110 points, which still means that you have full minutes. Well, I mean, not quite, but, you know. Great.

Almost two full minutes to look for your next story that's really going to give you the edge on this one. That's really going to lead you to success and winning this episode. Okay? I believe in you, Wade. Oh, thank you. All right. Are you both at your Google screens and ready? Yes.

I am prepared. All right, here we go. Three, two, one, go! and ready yeah i am prepared all right here we go three two one go got something whoa whoa whoa hang on there like all right goddamn that was quick Oh boy, I'm struggling here 30 my theme is not working Uh-huh Mm-hmm I'll keep it going Bob keep it going take your time

oh boy no I'm in trouble this theme this theme has really let me down 45 10 9 8 7 6

5 4 3 2 1 and oh right at the end there there you go Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. And oh, right at the end there. There you go. I think I win by default. No, he got it in just before.

I got it in. He literally got it in right on the line. It was very impressive. All right. So that was very nice. 16 seconds for Wade to get his story in. So very few points wagered here uh not much risk and a lot to earn because uh bob i hit the stopwatch at exactly a minute uh i think you were just before

it though so i'm gonna make that 59 seconds all right all right or i can make it 60 no 60s fair okay 60 the whole time all right he took the full time maybe it was. He took the full time. Maybe it was worth it. Wade, you're up first. All right. So I found the history of bananas. My search, let me go back and see what my search term was. I googled banana fruit horror stories. And I quickly clicked on the first link and decided to live and die by whatever I clicked on. And I'm pretty happy with the result. All right.

Cool. I'm enticed by the title all right so the article itself talks about well what you'd expect the bloody dark history behind bananas how cheap they are companies engaging in horrible atrocities trying to uh gather and get bananas to sell uh from the 1920s on including the 1928 banana massacre what sounds hilarious but looking at it apparently isn't what oh wow the banana massacre that's too funny of a name for something so serious looking let me read two paragraphs i guess to talk about this uh companies engaged in brutal atrocities in december 1928 a group of united fruit workers were on strike to protest subpar working conditions after several weeks united fruit representatives and throat officials

Threatened to invade Colombia with the Marine Corps if the government didn't protect the business interest of United fruit Oh God very serious stuff here as far as like, you know Employees not being treated well before we say atrocities like the 1920s to think of the past with a look at what's at stake now Chiquita's not really massacring people 2007 admitted to paying 1.7 million to the United Stealth Defense Force, Colombia Basically a bunch of bullshit companies trying to subvert rules and things. And, you know, this is interesting to me. I could go on and on and read the facts of the article, but I want to talk about the author, Ryan Fann. Oh, okay.

Because Ryan Fann is described here as being a believer, a Baltimore City special ed teacher, and a two minute, 39 second marathon runner. Those are his qualifications for this article. Okay. A believer. I don't know what he believes in, but he's a believer. He's also a diehard fan of The Wire. And you can support him.

He's got a link where you can support him here at medium.com. What is this website? Am I understanding this? That you have an incredible article literally titled the dark and bloody history behind bananas with all of this incredible research and writing about the actual information and you want to talk about believer the author the author matters credibility matters you know of course of course definitely i just i'm intrigued by the fact that with all of this information here believer and marathon runner with the time stamp of 239 are two of the top three things about ryan we need to know after

reading about the banana massacre i mean that's just it's a fascinating thing to me do you know do you know what point he's trying to make here i is he discrediting ryan distracted me from the article when i saw believe actually discrediting the author is not unfair so this website presents itself as like a journalism site right so this is hosted on medium all right it is not journalism in this platform it's technically i mean i don't know technically it's called on like it's technically, I mean, I don't know, technically, it's called, unlike its Wikipedia article, an example of social journalism. Okay. This is basically an open platform where people can publish whatever they want. And there are amateurs and professionals publishing on this website.

But so this guy, his credentials are... Believer. Believer, special ed teacher. He's not a journalist, but this is published as if it's like a news article. This seems sketchy to me. To his credit, if you look at the article, the article seems legit. And all of the underlined bits are sources. Apparently, I'm not clicked on them, but like they show links and I can see that this one

links to the New York Times articles. So there are sources to the claims and such. so i'm not saying that the information here is presented as false it's just intriguing to me that whenever you are putting yourself on this platform as a journalist the first thing you put is believer not of a believer of what just believer just everything believes i don't know leaves believes in himself he's also a baltimore city special ed teacher like x files like the truth is out there i believe like a believer like a bieber fan like what that's believers yeah that's very different i feel like without knowing anything so this is pure conjecture this seems like the website you go to when you're like oh i have this crazy belief so conspiracy theories i need an article to substantiate it yeah and you

go here and you find an article and you share it and people are like wow this is this is true i guess this is like a published in a journalism you know like a news website or something yeah but it's just published by some random believer yeah i you know you're right in that one i don't know much about medium uh i think i've heard of it before but i've never really gone into it um if that is the way that it is it can be a mixture of like some articles that are actually substantiated in there and then there's obviously like opinion pieces that are like i think that you know 5g gives me cancer like that kind of stuff and it's like totally valid to do some deeper dives into this and understand what the qualifications of this are that being said the article's a fantastic read it's very interesting i would love to hear about

it i will say i clicked on one of the links and one of his quote citations links to a youtube video entitled banana land blood bullets and poison a documentary uh yeah it's a it's a documentary based on the banana industry it basically the article goes into exploitation of companies uh chiquita is named i don't know what other companies are that make bananas but basically how they exploit their workers to get a variety of different banana flavors or you know not flavors but banana like uh like they mentioned the what they have in flavors the cavern i don't know what a cavendish banana is but like every time we eat a cavendish banana we're professing a vicious vicious cycle is that by banana trail of blood violence tears exploitation so different i don't know genres of banana different types of banana uh different

companies i guess trying to keep prices low variety high the horrible things that go into that is that this article is pointing out and showing the different atrocities and different ways that the u.s government other industries have gotten involved to try to clean it up so i mean it's very straightforwardly about bad working conditions but it's just i did not expect dark fruit horror story banana to lead me here or whatever i said that is pretty accurate to your search so i think i think google actually did you right there yeah this is a true horror story excellent google yeah if you attach the word banana and everything it just like starts to be silly and then you realize like oh god i don't know oh no that ain't silly yeah i was hoping for something silly but i ended up learning something and from a believer just like isn't a

banana republic it sounds like oh it's a fun store but the real reality is like a completely dysfunctional uh government in society or something like that yeah it's like a very a very chaotic corrupt sort of dictatorship or autocracy or something where it's not a good thing which was bold of the company to name themselves banana republic it's a pejorative term i think as to the state of the country it sounds catchy and hip like i could wear some Banana Republic, you know, Abercrombie Banana Republic clothes. The term Banana Republic describes

a politically unstable country with an economy dependent upon the exportation of a limited resource product, such as bananas or minerals. Uh, interesting. So not necessarily in chaos. That's not exactly what I was saying, actually. I was kind of wrong.

Yeah, but politically unstable is like a stipulation of the definition, so. It's still meant as like an insult. It's your country is poor you just have bananas ah i see i see well anyway that was good that was insightful it led to a lot of discussion and um i feel like uh i know more about the history of bananas thank you wade yeah uh bob what did you bring to the table okay yeah, yeah. So I continued operating with the same basic modality. And my theme for this round was things that are in my garage. So I googled a series of words that are in my garage. Okay.

The phrase I googled was shovel Subaru broom water. And where it took me was to a kind of a deceptive article, an article on lifted imports.com that talks about ostensibly what you should do, how you should prepare to drive your all wheel drive Subaru on the beach in the sand and talks about things like what gear you need to shovels and tire gauges and inflated and tired pumps and things and how fast you should go and all of this stuff but i think if you really read between the lines what this article is about sorry that's a cough or that uh what this article is about sex all right i'm listening again okay i'm listening so if you if you're just reading this normally you're like oh okay you drive slow

on the beach or whatever uh will if you could put on some like sensual music in the background i'm just gonna read an excerpt and i just want to see how you guys feel after i do it okay best practices for driving your subaru in the sand assess the sand condition is it hard deep is it soft and sumptuous anakin would disagree bring an inflator be prepared to air down. Turn off control. Hug the shore and move along the coast. Maintain a steady speed and avoid sudden acceleration. Always make sure you're aware of the tide pattern. Bonus tip.

When you've finished, clean your undercarriage immediately. Paraphrased and excerpted by me, that was not an exact quote, but you get the idea, sir. Yeah, I was actually reading along with you. That is very close.

Everything in life boils down to sex. Thank you, Lifted Imports. A poignant point point as we have come to expect from such a website all right i appreciate that and the tips i will bookmark this website for uh later i do appreciate best quote sand driving and quote techniques my favorite sexual thing is turning off traction control to be fair i didn't actually say traction that was an ellipsized word for me yeah control just turn off control it's an implied omission if you read between the between the between the lines right right i'm reading the lines mister read inside of them stuff that's not there bananas have been fucking people for years do you

want to be fucked by a banana i mean you you say that as a joke but that's 100 true you absolutely know that's one of the uses of bananas i do know the history yeah people have been being fucked by bananas but not in like a oh like a oh literally and metaphorically though both both ways my way and your way with the peel or without the peel or both. All right. So that was very insightful, Bob. Very funny.

Thank you. Good use of your materials. However, I will say that, Wade, your topic was enticing. And although I feel like you deviated in some ways, I think you still created the better opportunity for discussion. So I'm going to award you the pot for this round of a whopping 76 points. Oh boy. Am I winning?

You just have so much hope in your heart. I do appreciate the optimism. No, you're not. However, you're not that far behind. Okay. Current score is Bob with 230 points weighed 170 points. Now here's the kicker. We're almost at the end here. I'm actually going to give you a full 60 seconds. You're not going to deduct any points, but what you are going to do is choose to wager any amount of points up to your total

for this round. You can bet anywhere bet anywhere bob you can bet a full 230 if you wanted to wade you can bet 170 points whoever wins this round will take everything minimum of 60 points hello all of it yeah i'm thinking all of it i either want to win or lose all okay bob actually wait no all of it but one sorry sorry all of it but one you got 229 in the pot jeopardy rules yeah you're right that's good that's good i also choose to bet 229 you don't have 229 i want to take a loan no no okay then all of it all of it i don't even want one point all right see if i can oblige you, sir. All right. So as it stands, Bob has wagered 229 of their 230 points.

Wade has put it all in with 170 points. The pot currently stands at 399 points up for grabs. This is winner take all. Are you guys ready? I will give you two full minutes to search for whatever you'd like. Let's do this. I am ready.

Boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, start your engines in three, two, one, go! All right, I'm searching. I'm searching. Good. 10 seconds have passed. 20 seconds 30 45 45 one minute if we find one that we like can can we get more than one, or do we just have to stop with one?

It's one, right? Has to be just one. Okay. Make it the best. 45 seconds remain. Okay, I've got one. I've got mine. I'm done.

I'm done. I think I'm done. Okay. I'm banking. I'm banking it in. I'm done. Okay. I'm banking. I'm banking it in final answer final answer Have you guys there's my link Yeah, oh right post the link

Whatever. I'm looking at it. Okay, we're in Boys and girls ladies and gentlemen i think wade was in first therefore wade you are up for your final round this one's for all the beans okay so i'm gonna get through my uh my thought process here at first i was searching whether the three of us were funny and i found out that no we are not and it made me sad so then i decided to wonder why do i stink at this version of the game so much and then i was like you know what i kind of like things that stink sometimes like the smell of gasoline or sometimes you fart you're just like ugh but also hmm i was like man let's just search what was my google stinky but also good was my google search uh-huh and that brought me to this article why do bad smells smell good

and uh obviously i haven't had time to read the whole stinking thing yet because it's pretty long but it actually goes into the uh the biology and chemistry of why we like different smells that are not necessarily good smells okay and uh you know the article itself's intriguing but the topic more so is interesting to me of like yeah are there smells that are like not good that you guys are like secretly like but yes like gasoline's one i love the smell of gasoline and some people i think a lot of common one but a lot of people absolutely hate it but man i could live until i died from the fumes just sniffing gasoline like liquid like unburned gasoline fumes yeah yeah um i don't know i i know some people are like diesel heads and they're like i love the

smell of petrol you know but i can't say i'm one of them one of the things i do like oh wait bob you have i was gonna say i love that smell like metaphorically like the smell when you're doing at a go-kart track and you smell the exhaust from the car in front of you or like yeah when i'm filling up my car exhaust i don't actually like that smell but like that smell it hits me and i'm like oh ah it's car time i like what that means but the smell is gross do you sniff again no i hate it it's gross it smells toxic i know but i have to go back in for more i'm on a go-kart and i get a hit of exhaust for a second my brain is like yeah go-karts and then the rest of my brain is like ah particulates oh no yeah that's fair 2.4 particulates are embedded in my lung tissues now in a similar way i really like the smell of cigarettes i don't

smoke but it's very nostalgic for me my dad smoked uh and so i grew up with that smell being everywhere most people are like oh i hate the smell of cigarettes disgusting i like the smell of just tobacco by itself it has a very rich smell i do not smoke for the record and i am not tempted to do so in any way but it is one of those things where it's like a commonly understood bad smell for me is just like it smells not even like oh it's bad and i think it's good it just to me is very nice. It's a very nice smell. I definitely feel the loose tobacco smells really rich and like nice. And I like cigars. But do you like even like that stank, like someone smoked a bunch of cigarettes

in here yesterday, like dankity smoke smell? Or is it just like fresh burning tobacco? I like fresh. I don't even really notice like the dank a leftover smell of smoke i get that maybe i associate that with just like old buildings which i also do kind of like the smell of uh you know 90s industrial offices or something like that you know i like that very nice that's fair so just to give some credence to the article i clicked on they go into like the chemistry of smells now some things like chemically are similar but they have very different smells and we might like a smell like the smell of flowers or something but if you smell something and you're expecting one scent and you get another even if it's a scent you like you might not like it if it's coming from something you're not expecting

like some people like the smell of cabbage but if you sniff your shoes after wearing them and you smell cabbage you'll be like whereas if you smell cooking cabbage on the stove you might like it. I know weirdly my socks after playing basketball as a teenager if i played like really a lot during a day and i wore the same pair of socks they would harden and smell like fritos weird that's a thing and i love fritos but whenever i would smell my socks yeah i did not really want to eat fritos but you know that was the scent i got very strong frito smell no i don't know what the deal is with that because uh for me uh my dog lexi you guys know lexi her feet do that her feet smell like fritos and not like oh that kind of smells like it smells like if you dumped a bag of fritos on her it smells like that what is that weird

that's what my socks would smell like after like three basketball games in a day i've never experienced that in my life that is bizarre come over i'll let you smell lex i just play some basketball let you smell me uh no notable wades is probably stinkier you should smell wait i don't want it yeah you should i'm good and then you can eat some fritos while you smell it and compare uh okay the article talks about specifically bad or poisonous smells like gasoline paint fumes and there's two possible reasons that they list in the article uh one is that perhaps gasoline or you know paint or whatever evokes positive memories of something like you know bob's car fumes like you get the scent of like oh yeah we're on the road you don't really like the smell but like it evokes a memory or a thought or a feeling associated with an activity or you know memory yeah the other one is that um some of the compounds

contained like benzene uh toluene i don, I don't know if that's pronounced correctly. Toluene. When those chemicals enter the body, they can release dopamine and cause a euphoric effect. So it's not really like you like the smell. It's like chemically your body is just releasing dopamine, which makes you think you like it. Those are two possible reasons why. But I don't know. I just, stinky, my whole like we're not funny led me down to the stinky line.

And I thought of my smelly feet and gasoline and that made me happy and here we are all right very interesting very good very succinct is there something for you tied to the smell of gasoline or do you just like it intrinsically I think there is I think it's because whenever again I'll go back to the the lake I had like with my grandparents I talked about in previous episodes I used to sit on the back of the boat and like we'd have a towel across the back of the we were in a pontoon um so it was like a big long back seat I would sit there with my chin on the back seat just staring at the motor and watching the way like that the propeller would in the the pontoons everything would kick the water up and just the way that the water would separate and like some of it would go up into the air and some of it would just create waves and whatnot.

I was fascinated by that. I would watch that till I went to sleep. But the two tanks of gas would sit right on the back of the boat next to the motor, basically. And so I think I would smell both the fumes of the gas to an extent and also the burning, whatever, you know, in the motor. I don't know all the technical shit, but, you know, the smell of the exhaust, I guess.

So I think that's probably why. Cool. That makes sense. That's legit. That makes sense. Also, I really want Fritos. but you know the smell of the exhaust i guess so i think that's probably why cool that's that makes sense that's legit that makes sense also i really want fritos well maybe little slices of cheese maybe we all could get fritos out there yeah definitely all right bob what's up all right so this is a stretch but the theme i went with was my backyard which led me to uh i have a pretty nice view in my backyard i'm not too close to the city i'm far enough out we can see some stars and the other night i was out looking at the stars and

just sort of enjoying the night sky so i searched i was like space stuff this is on theme and it led me to google horrifying space facts all right i don't know that's that's the thing you went with space to kiss up to mark you knew your audience it's i know he loves space but i do love space as well only one person can love space and i found this article on hammerfilms.com there's 10 terrifying facts about space there's one particular one that is just my favorite that I'm going to save for last. All right, cool. Because it is the most scientific space fact I have ever heard. Cool.

I'm not going to read the article then. Yeah, no. You entice me. But there, I mean, so there's some interesting ones. I didn't know this. Apparently stars can come back from the dead. Type LA supernovae are often referred to as zombie stars because they can actually it becomes a white dwarf post uh explosion but given a certain set of circumstances it can create

a giant supernova which will then kickstart like fusion again and it will just turn back into a star with like active fusion in it which is pretty crazy we've actually seen that before that's how uh thor made stormbreaker probably ah you know what hey there you go probably all right and so i didn't actually know that i thought that was really interesting this list does a couple a few things that like you know anyone who knows a little about space is aware of one of them is one giant rock flying through space could wipe out mankind sure huge meteor hitting the earth whatever fine terrifying great bruce willis will save us don't worry um some stars are vampires which is really interesting but i did know that that literally two stars can be close enough together that one will draw like the bigger one will draw material from the smaller

one cool and it like feeds the feeds the life, the fusion, whatever. Draws hydrogen fuel for its own fusion from the other one. The little one eventually dies, which is pretty fun. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know this one. There's a planet called Gleese 436b.

Gleese. Which is a burning ball of ice. What? What? It is a ball of ice ice its entire outer surface is ice and presumably it's covered in quite a lot of ice except the surface temperature of this planet is 439 degrees celsius i'm sorry so does it have a really high is it what is it density or pressure to make it so it stays solid even at that high temperature yeah so the only reason it's not like actively on fire visibly is that it's covered in water but

apparently the gravity pulls the water molecules so strongly and packs them together that they're unable to evaporate so the ice is unable to melt even though its surface temperature is scorching and it's effectively on fire like the one chemistry fact I remember is that pressure and temperature can combine to where you can get solid liquid and gas at weird numbers, depending on what the other thing is. So that's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Burning ice planet.

Awesome. You know, a couple other facts like supermassive black holes. This one just says supermassive black holes are real scary. Yeah, they are. Sure. Yeah, sure. There are real shooting stars. Sure.

Apparently there are hypervelocity stars moving through space at more than a million miles per hour. Those are terrifying, yes. If they come near you, then fuck your shit up or whatever. Also, this is one that is not confirmed by observation but i think is interesting so black holes exist right it's theoretically a space an area from which no matter or light can escape because of our current understanding of physics also theoretically white holes exist white hole which is an area in which there is no matter or light because it is all escaping. It's like the inverse of a black hole.

You can't go into a white hole? Stuff can be in there. Stuff is in there. It's not like emptiness. But if something escapes from it, it's impossible for that matter or energy to go back to that white hole. So it's like my mom.

What? I got out, but I can't go back in. yeah okay well don't try don't do don't do that buddy yeah maybe not i don't like that very much at all yeah okay whatever anyway it's like it's basically the inverse of a black hole it's something where it's a very insanely dense thing object or whatever suddenly defined as but it's emitting light and energy and matter and that can never go back. Weird. So, and eventually I assume that it would be dissipated,

right, and it'd be emptiness or whatever, but I don't know how that works. Yeah, I don't know how that works either. I haven't heard of that one. That is interesting. I have to look into that. So this is a cool list. Some of it's stupid.

You know, black holes are scary. Sure, whatever. Lots of stuff like that. But my favorite point on this list, the reason I picked this article and just the most scientific thing I've ever heard spoken about space is that the next planet we colonize could be hell. Oh, it actually has some scientific stuff. be hell oh it actually has some scientific stuff apparently gliese 581c is a uh planet that's being researched it's orbiting a red dwarf star and is almost completely hostile to human life

perfect and it's locked in orbit so that it doesn't spin in its orbit which is weird isn't that bad but there's a tiny vertical belt of this planet that is potentially inhabitable by man it's on this belt alone where the proposed colonization would take place so we would live in one stripe running north to south on this planet and the entire rest of it would be an absolute hellscape. You know, it's so funny. I've heard of this before, and it's just so funny that people would think that the weather would be just so nice in there and that the hot of the one side wouldn't really want to be on the cold of the other side. I'm not saying it would evenly distribute, but at the same time, I'm like, I don't think

it's just going to be all nice because if I know hot and cold systems and their merging points, isn't that tornado alley? Yeah, I mean, I have no idea what the atmosphere, this list is not very explanatory. I have no idea what the atmosphere

is like or whatever. But essentially the theory here is it's like our moon, right? So to explain for the listeners, the sun side of this planet is always facing the sun well not the sun but the star in the same orientation and the back side is always dark so the area where the light and the dark side meet where it's kind of shadowy around the edge they're like ah somewhere in there is just the perfect temperature for humanity

and it's not a lot like what is it less than 10 percent of the entire surface area of the thing probably i have no idea but it's not a lot and like you're saying i get that this is scientists researching this and so it's a theory and they're working on it but it doesn't seem like a good plan i don't think that why would that be the next planet i also like the next planet we colonize is like we haven't colonized any. Why would we pick hell? Why would we pick hell as the first one? I would imagine it's probably like one of the closest planets that's even remotely habitable

because of how batshit crazy this plan sounds. Right, right. I find another one. What's the next closest? That seems like a bad option. Okay. And with that, I think that wraps up our game for today and now i have to render a judgment on this round bob it was very good with the space uh wade with the smells very nostalgic i gotta say

bob targeting the space was a good strategy wade the smells uh it was very interesting because it's biology and that's always fascinating so this is actually very close but this one i'm gonna give to wade oh the reason being here is the reason they're both interesting to me personally with the discussions of like my like for the smell of cigarettes and tobacco and then my general love for space and interesting space facts but i'd say on the criteria of a topic that everyone could participate in because wade i know you don't know too much about space so it's like it was enjoyable but wade's smell topic all of us could participate in that and share something that we all enjoyed in the past and it was an interesting discussion and kind of like good

to know about these things that we all like and why i think i have to give that one to wade i will very humbly accept my win please and with a whopping 399 points to one for bob victory or uh no wait not bob victory wait you said it it's binding i'm the winner i hereby invoke my automatic win. Oh, shit. Well, he does have that automatic win card. Alright. Well, Wade, you were already going to win, but you have invoked your automatic win. I'll save that then. Your automatic win has

now been destroyed. So you have won. Congratulations. However, you will never be able to use that automatic win at any point in the future except for on bob uh so thank you so much uh wade and bob this was an interesting discussion really fun stuff i'm gonna remember uh it for the rest of my goddamn life uh wade do you want to say a winner speech uh go sniff some feet everyone is that really what we got from your

article no that's what i've got out of life. Yeah, actually that was the ending discussion That is what I remember the Fritos. Oh, right. We were trying to convince you to sniff feet. Okay, right? Yeah, okay Yeah, Bob. Do you have a loser speech? Uh, this base is way cooler than feet. So Big mark is just trying to throw away the bone Beat is something we can all touch and act as you know some in consent We can all touch feet of some kind of dogs. Ours. We all fly through space together at thousands of miles a second

in this great big thing called life. So I feel like that's pretty relatable. That's true. That's true. But I'm going to be a gracious loser and concede this one to Wade. Good job. Thank you. Okay. Alright. Thank you and thank you everybody so much for listening.

Remember, please don't crash the websites that we said not to crash. And please do crash the websites that we did say to crash. And then go try to crash our website where we have merch at distractiblepodcast.com slash store or whatever it actually is. I can't remember. Shop store. Just go to distractible podcast and just start typing things in after the slash. Don't climb back into your mom's. Good advice for everyone to take home.

Go check out Bob and Wade's channels for more good advice like that. Bob gives equally good advice. Thank you, and we'll whatever. Podcast out. Make sure to check out our merch at store.distractablepodcast.com. This definitely wasn't edited in after the fact. I'm still rolling.