Distractible - The Council of Distractible

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

Three hosts, one episode. After nearly two years, the floor is finally open to lay down the law and finish the first Constitution of Distractible. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's good food in a cup. Visit Knorr.com to learn more. forfeits. Wuthering Wade Laus Hash wants an annual aquatic episode to murder Orlando Bloom and ban tech talk. Boastful Bob Mutes Wade suggests subreddit audience participation and lends losses. From ancestor hate to bonus episodes and red flags.

Yes! It's time for the Council of Distractible. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. I'm jumping in. This is the intro and welcome to Distractible. You guys aren't even going to try? I was just going to wait for you to stop talking and then I was going to be like, oh, actually,

I'm hosting this episode. Oh, no no you're not because it's me even though wade is paralyzed in fear by the responsibility on his shoulders wait the man who literally can never stop talking and then welcome back to another episode of distractible yep huh that's it this is the one i'm the hostess with the mostest joined by these two clowns this is the tribunal of distractible. I think that you should definitely listen to me as I tell you about this show, where one person usually hosts, the other two compete for points,

the winner at the end gets to host the next episode. But I am the leader, presiding member of the tribunal. Mark is lying. Don't listen to Mark. You're right. I'm everyone's favorite host, therefore my intro should matter most. We just gave an intro for a show that doesn't exist today. What I was going to say is, if you've never seen the show before, it never works like this.

We're all three winners. Hey! Or are we just not losers? This is a disaster. This is what people have been excited for, and it's terrible. If you know me, you know that I am the natural choice to be the permanent judge of Distractible, which is what this episode is going to decide. Evolution didn't even choose your short stuff.

Now let Bob and I talk. As the nice one, I just want to say that... Man, that cut my ancestors. That was deep. That's okay. They were below the cutting line. All right, that's enough. You leave my ancestors out of this.

It doesn't feel good to be that mean. That kind of hurt me. It's okay. Wade hates Korean ancestors out of this. Doesn't feel good to be that mean. That kind of hurt. It hurt me. It's okay. Wade hates Korean people. It's all understandable. No, no, only half. Only half Korean people. Oh, he hates me specifically. Only half Korean, half German, born in Hawaii, go to school in Cincinnati.

Half Koreans named Mark who have a headband. It was so funny. I've been watching this not to get off topic from the chaos. No, no. I've been watching this YouTube called Outdoor Boys Life or I forget what the actual name. He says it every time. Oh, the Outdoor Boys? Yeah, the Outdoor Boys

YouTube channel. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what's funny is you know what he looks like, right? Wade, have you ever seen a video of his? Like a tall skinny, lanky, white dude. Super tall, really skinny he usually has glasses on big teeth if you two agree on it i usually haven't seen it or heard of it so no this guy looks like he could be in a photograph from the 1800s and he would not look out of place right there's certain people out there that could be any any era of humanity they have like a

classical face or like a classical expression he looks like he could have walked out of a saloon in the west or gotten off a boat from europe to arrive at america or he could have been in like the renaissance you would see him anywhere he seems to fit and i had this realization that like my face and half koreans in general have no real place in history damn i didn't mean to cut you that deep, man. No, because seriously, it wouldn't have occurred. It wouldn't have occurred that often. I'm not saying it didn't occur.

Of course it occurred. But it's like, I literally don't have a historical face. And I'm like, oh, man. Oh, this. Oh, what have I? Look, I'm not an expert on this, but do you think that might be because we all grew up in the American education system where history is basically whatever it was defined by anglican looking european types i mean certainly but i think there's a lot of history outside of our sphere of education that might have more of

a place for you not necessarily i played civilization for the rise and fall mod and china was founded before britain in that mod therefore it probably was in real life too which means white people weren't first you're right about that but i'm saying like literally having half even half asian and then you know like half germanic or european kind of like people it wasn't a common thing and so i'm not saying like oh look how special i am i was kind of sad about it i was like oh, I don't belong in the past. Well, get in line, because there have been balding bearded white men since the caveman era. According to pictures I imagine in my head. I mean, if you think of a caveman, everyone thinks of the caveman like the long shoulder length there.

But imagine with the bald shoulder length there, kind of like scraggly half gray beard beard kind of whining as he drags his club behind him that's how i like to imagine me has he got the whiny caveman that's your ancestor he is the fittest and thus is surviving but somehow he's also complaining about it that's wade's ancestor god damn it it's schloink again schloink we have so much food i've killed three mammoths in the past year or whatever measure of time my ancestor schloink wade what is schloink supposed to be does that have a definition it's his name man oh it's his name oh what's a good caveman i don't fucking know caveman name i figured schloink schloink and oh that's a tv show back in caveman days. The prehistoric Laverne and Shirley.

What's Laverne and Shirley? Laverne and Shirley is like a sitcom from like the, I don't even know, 60s? Laverne and Shirley, 1976. Okay, 70s. How old are you? I have a historical face. I'll never tell. How old are you? Wade is that guy who's been appearing in pictures since the Victorian era.

He is a time traveler. Everyone thinks it's a joke. It's not. That's him. Laverne and Shirley. It's like a Punch and Judy show. What's Punch and Judy? Punch and Judy are like puppets from the old days of like puppet shows who were like.

Oh, yeah. No, I've seen that. Do they, are any modern sitcoms named just after the people in it Will and Grace is that one of the more recent ones Friends but the Friends is the name of it it's not called like they are the Friends even that yeah but it's not their name like Laverne and Shirley would be their schloink and uh would be the names dude it's Friends is closer to Laverne and shirley than it is to today i'm saying literally the title having their people's names in it oh okay sure that's the criteria i'm looking for

i thought i just saying like as a sitcom friends is closer to the release of laverne and shirley than today i'm looking for a title that has their name oh i thought of one the simpsons duh it's multiple people their name is the title I thought of one. The Simpsons. The? It's multiple people. Their name is the title. What do you want from me? Bill and Tanya. Michael and Jimmy.

The Third Rock from the Sun. Those aren't... God, listen to my criteria. Good luck, Chuck. Breaking... The Breaking Bad. Will and Grace. Those are their names.

Breaking and Bad. I liked Bad. Sex and the City. Isn't that the three characters? Yeah, Sex. And the City.. Breaking and Bad. I liked Bad. Sex and the City. Isn't that the three characters? Yeah, Sex. And the City. I love and the. Sex and the City.

Yeah. I'm such an and the. You are such an and the. Can you imagine naming someone Sex? Sex, come here. Guys, I can't find Sex. Does that work for you? Sex.

Sex, come here. I summon thee what why were you trying to imagine think of this way why did you need will and grace because they're slinking uh they're sitcom oh right right right yeah slinking uh you could just use jake and the fat man that's from a time period you're familiar with i don't know that one i don't know that one no I don't know that one. You don't know Jake and the Fat Man? No. I don't know this one. Jake and the Fat Man, American drama series, 1987, five seasons. Now I know what it feels like to be Wade. Welcome to my life. Also, Fat Man is one word.

I always thought it was like a fat guy, fat man. It's Jake and the Fat Man. It's like Batman, but just fat. What would the call signal be in this guy? Like a deep fried Twinkie. All right, we actually have a conundrum here because... Should we explain? I guess if you didn't watch the last episode, that would explain it. Go watch that. If this is your first episode, you picked a doozy. We're conferring. This is the council. We are the council of Distractible. This

is an opportunity where we are all co-equally powerful hosts to come to some agreements or something. We have about three rules that the podcast lives by, and we don't follow any of them consistently, except maybe that the podcast host is infallible and also has every power available in the universe. We've had two hosts, at least once, maybe twice. Yeah, it's been a bit of chaos recently because the rules are inconsistent,

they are haphazardly applied, and they usually don't favor me. And I feel like that's unfair, and I'm glad you all joined me. Aren't you the one that took us off the rails with your, like, I'm the winner, me, me, me, three or five episodes in a row? Because it was largely unfair, and people seem to forget that I was the first one unfared upon.

You guys unfared all over me. Uh, that all happened way after I got unfared upon for quite some time, if you recall. That was the universe. Whoa, whoa, whoa. This has been unfair from the start. I hosted the first episode, and guess what that meant? I didn't

have a chance to win the first episode. Both of you did, and that's not fair. I had zero chances to have a win. It means you hosted the first episode. Okay. Semantics. Is it good to be the host or bad to be the host? Good, but it's good to win first. Is it? Is it? I imagine so. What if we give you a win, but then you don't host the next episode? Will that make you feel better or worse? Depends if I have an idea or not. You never have an idea. That's not fair, but true. This is the thing. This is the thing, Wade. From the very beginning of this podcast you didn't want to win when did it change when did suddenly you wanted to win that's true there was a lot of you asking people to take points away i was playing

5d psychology i don't think it worked because you just lost a lot of points and lost a lot of episodes which is what you were asking for you were playing 1d psychology where you got what you asked for whenever i had i'm like hey can i have points you guys usually like no but hey take away points i was like yes you guys only like to hurt me i try different ways to get around the hurt that's not my fault you have definitely gotten points just for asking but you also ask for points way less than mark and i do we're always trying to work the system that's true i'm usually either too busy thinking about what we're talking about or not paying attention at all. Just have Shakira dancing in your head all the time. Or on another monitor, yeah.

That brings me to something. I've got an idea. Watch out, everyone. He's got an idea. I got a proposal. I propose Shakira becomes the official mascot of Distractible. That would be legally damn... That would probably be...

If we adopted Shakira as the... We can adopt her? I don't know if I want that. I believe there are technically a set of circumstances in which you could, there's a universe down there where you have adopted Shakira. I believe that exists. It's very unlikely, but in. There's at least one.

Yeah, there's at least one. When I thought about Shakira calling me daddy, this was not the circumstance I was expecting, but I suppose. You get what you get. We cannot, and we do do not officially and for legal reasons adopt shakira as our mascot pretty sure she owns her own likeness okay i'll delete that proposal look what i was gonna say is it seems like what we agree upon is there's a lot of unfairness we all feel like it's unfair in different ways and it all seems to be except

for me very selfish i'm not very selfish at all i'm the nice one i think we should maybe try and adopt some rules to create a little bit more fairness in the triangle of fairness is a great start but it's clearly inadequate to keep things in check okay more wheels and coins all right let's not besmirch the triangle of fairness just because you were besmirched upon by it let's say cosmologically because you keep lying and saying that you're the nice one the universe was punishing you for your lies i don't even say that i'm the nice one everyone else says that you just said it i'm just using that as a way to differentiate myself from you two lying sad sacks if if i hear the words i'm the nice one in my head, it's always

in your voice. Why is that? Because I live in your head rent free. You hear a lot of things in my voice. I propose that to honor Bob's request, we do more triangle of fairness wheels and coins. Okay. Well, I can't possibly keep losing those. I'm down. Let's bring them back. Okay. Here's what I propose. Here's what I propose. A winner cannot be judged just by a coin flip. There must be a second verification. This is a universe speaking kind of thing. Like one of those, are you a robot check boxes? Exactly, right?

A captcha, you gotta successfully pass a captcha. You have to drag the puzzle piece and also win the coin flip. Exactly, right? There's gotta be a second step. Two-step verification is very important. Can it be two coin toss. Exactly, right? There's got to be a second step. Two-step verification is very important. Can it be two coin tosses in a row? What if you win two coin tosses in a row? What are the odds of that? It's impossible for me, but someone could do that, probably. I'm just like

testing the boundaries. Does that seem good to you or does that feel bad? How does it feel? What does it smell like? Yeah, what do you have in mind for a second step? Yeah, what is the second step? What is the second step? Well, Bob proposed a second coin flip or a second wheel spin. So it sounds like we don't like that. Let's say the second thing has to be a different test. It could be two chance things. What if you flip a coin and spin a wheel?

Is that enough? A wheel spin is fair. What if you flip a wheel and spin a coin? I don't know what that would accomplish, but it sounds fun. No, I mean, if you spin a coin, it would land on a random face, I suppose. Maybe.

Yeah. Maybe it's not random. What if it's a coin that's wider than it is, like, tall? So that way it stays on its random. What if it's a coin that's wider than it is like tall? So that way it stays on its side more often. You mean a coin that's literally just a cylinder? Yeah. What about like a roll of coins?

What if we flip that? I don't think that makes any sense. Then it's less likely to land on heads or tails. So the host could win more. I don't think the host wins if it lands on edge. Oh. I don't think that was ever part of this. I propose that if the coin lands on edge, the host wins.

Interesting. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm willing to like have that. I i like mark's idea two-factor authentication i think we should finish mark's idea do we want to set any rules about it or do we want to just say two-factor authentication on wins of chance let's flip for it okay we're gonna get it but we need to figure out what it is before we can commit to it because it cannot be this it's too upsetting the people get upset we get upset i don't get upset but too upsetting. The people get upset. We get upset.

I don't get upset, but I understand that you guys get upset. I don't think I've ever been upset. I would never do anything to upset the subreddit. I don't want that. It's not why I do things. I'm the nice one. So what if we spin a wheel to see if the wheel says we should have two factor or not? Okay.

I'm dying. Never mind, Bob. Bob, never mind. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to suggest such a thing. Oh my God, I almost killed him. Holy crap. You ever just almost die because you talked? the time man all the time so what goes on the what goes on

the wheel then wade hold on there's got to be a rogue element here because right now the universe doesn't have an option to say no and it can't just be the corner or the side of the coin it's got to be like 33 or like 30 bob 30 w, 30% Wade, 30% Mark. And then there's that 10% chance of something going awry. What if we just create an official wheel and that's the wheel. If we're going to, if you've got to resort to that, that's the wheel. You set the percentages like that. So there's a 10% chance of what?

Spin again of nobody wins. It's got to be risky. Like the podcast is over. What if the 10% chance leads to a second wheel and the second wheel is just a bunch of shit like mark and wade host bob and mark host baldermore hosts the viewers host something like i don't know yeah that'd be good we don't honor those right it's always gonna be us right we're not gonna let them do anything i think if we're gonna adopt a rule we have to at least pretend like we're gonna honor it until it comes up and we

can decide in the moment yeah yeah pretend i. Pretend. I agree. Pretend. Cool. Sure. I like this. Is wheels where we want to land with this? Is there anything else? Does this need to be a decision tree? A decision tree?

Like a dialogue tree? Otherwise known as dice? Do you have to play an RPG to determine the fate of your decisions? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Ah, man. That's so much work. What if it's a random forest?

Mm-hmm. Wait, a what? A random forest, a is a statistical concept where you have a series of choices basically of like left or right and you continue going until you reach a result through the random forest manny would be so mad at how i just explained that but it's a thing it's a thing it's a thing it's a randomness thing like the wheel spinner is there a way to design your own like d6 where we could have like our own little options on a d on a dice what if we get wheels in real life like on a bike no like spinning wheels like we buy spinning wheels and each of us has one in our room we define what goes on them i

really don't like accumulating junk in my office yeah i know you keep a clean space way that's right all right let me look up how much it would cost, because I know I've bought one in the past. I think you could get them from Ikea for like 30 bucks. I don't know if there's like nice ones. Do they make digital ones where we could have- Oh, they make iPad ones. Yeah, sure. Is there a way I can like weigh it to favor me?

I mean, theoretically. You can't just- This is supposed to be a fairgrounds. You can't just openly cheat like that. I'm proposing out loud. That's fair. That's a bad faith proposal. I'm not talking about faith.

I'm talking about facts. That's a bad facts proposal. The fact of weighing it in. All right. All right. Maybe we should keep it digital. Maybe that's too much. Maybe we should keep it digital.

It's harder to manipulate a digital wheel if we all agree. What if I just proposed that I host every episode and I win every episode? Do you want to do that? Do you really want that? Whenever I have ideas. I would never have to think of an episode topic again or write or do anything prep work. I just show up and you host it. Well, I don't know about that because as the host, I could delegate.

You guys have to go up with the topic. You know what? You know what? Maybe we should. Mark, I say we take a vote right now. I say we take a vote. Wade's always hosting. A plurality vote takes it.

Two thirds is enough. All in favor, say aye. Aye. Aye. All right. All right, Wade. You are the host from here until eternity. Every topic will be generated by you, prepared beforehand.

Bob and I will just show up. We'll listen to all the work that you do. Well, the host can delegate topic ideas to the others. Nope. That has never happened. That is not an established precedent. All in favor of not allowing any delegation in the future of these episodes. It's too late.

I'm the host and I'm shutting this down as the host. No more votes. All in favor, say aye. Aye. No delegation. All right. Votes are done. I'm the host.

The council is not concluded. You are not i'm the host the council is not concluded you are not the host of anything council is not concluded yeah of course the council's concluded i'm the host i decide what it's concluded you're not the host of this one we are co-equal right now in host powers you have no authority we are giving you all the things that you've always wanted as the host i disagree if anyone has here, I have the power to mute you. So calm down. I'm very calm. You don't seem calm. You know what?

Mute him anyway. As the host, I disagree. I say do not. All right. All in favor of ensuring that all of Wade's episodes will be at least two hours in length. Say aye. Aye. He said aye.

He said aye. Okay. All right. Yeah. Wade's on board with this. Okay. he said I he said I okay all right yeah Wade's on board with this okay all in favor of the host will provide prizes of value above a thousand and pizza and pizza of value above a thousand dollars every episode say I I I I think he said I to that I think Wade said I I think he's on board yeah

all in favor of making all the payouts from the podcast go to Mark and Bob, even though Wade is the host. Say aye. Aye. All right. We are agreed. Yeah, he opened his mouth. I'm pretty sure he said, I love that. I think he said aye.

I'm on board. Guys. Hey, listen, guys. I like that a lot. I should give you more money. Oh, well, anyway. Wow. This is great.

This is very productive. What do you think? Can you hear me, motherfuckers? That's not very nice. Remember how I said i can mute you yeah i wasn't joking you were actually muted that whole time it felt like you were contributing but you were muted hey you can talk now now that we've established all these rules how do you feel win i hate it here you know i got an email to go join somebody for a philosophy

podcast i think maybe i'll go do that hey if you're the host it could be this could be a philosophy podcast god you'd never get to talk about lenses or bob i don't know what your life is but you couldn't talk about it either you're whatever you talk about yeah i never talk about the same thing for every episode for the entire last year what do i talk about dogs or something yeah something like that garages being haunted i don't know bridges okay we'll roll it back to right before Wade got muted. Rolling it back. Aye. Aye. Aye. Okay.

Actually, we'll roll it back to right before Wade became God host forever and all time. But yeah, that one. Yeah. Can I propose that we just always host on boats? I would be down to do this on boats, but we would need to live closer together, I think, for that to be very practical. Yeah. I guess internet signal on a boat could be bad.

No, we can get some Starlink or something. We can make it work. Yeah, we could do Starlink. yeah i guess internet signal on a boat could be bad no we can get some starlink or something we can make it work yeah we could do starlink you can have cell service on a boat we can have our own satellite actually we don't even need internet on a boat if we're on the same boat we're fine yeah we just record it and then just throw like a paper airplane with the hard drive over to shore and kind of cold the winter in cincinnati on a boat though yeah how about this yes we will do at least one boat episode on from a boat on a boat on the open ocean over the deepest part we can get to i hope not marks in the ocean we're on a boat but it will be the semi-annual boat episode semi-annual as in semi annual every two years well it's been three so we definitely owe a boat episode at this point.

No, no, no. From now on. Could be any time in the next two years. And if it doesn't happen, we'll just add it to the list of things we have to do. I like that, Wade. How do you feel about that? I'm happy with boat. I'm going to mark that I got a yay on one proposal. Why are you going to sound bitter about it when we're here? We're working together on this. Who's bitter? Yeah. Wade, do you feel wronged in any way, shape, or form?

I just said I marked it in the yay column No, I mean overall I just have a voice, man I just think you don't like my voice No, I mean, like, I'm saying Do you have a grievance? I think he's actually asking I'm fine, I'm happy

You're happy? Nothing unfair has ever unfolded? Well, hold on In life? No, I'm good with the podcast we're good i'm happy okay all right we're good all right okay that's good that's good to hear clean slate on days where i'm tired you guys talk about technology and i get to just zone out and relax and then days i got stuff to talk about i talk over you and take over anyway all right that's true cool clean slate whoa what are

you listening to this for wait who's talking you know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built-in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly cash value of 40 294 plus eligible ford owners get a thousand dollar bonus for details visit your local ford store or ford.ca i wait i have an idea this might be messy i like this though i don't know if i like it as much i'm gonna say it out loud i think in episodes that end in some form of chance, a coin flip, a wheel, whatever, I think the person who loses should have the opportunity to usurp the ending

and put it to a vote on the subreddit. What if they pee someone else's pants? No, I think we should definitely get rid of the pee pants rule for once and for all time. I mean, shit and vomit are a lot worse. What if once per season, you get an appeal to the subreddit? It's a vote.

You make a poll on the subreddit, the subreddit? It's a vote. You make a poll on the subreddit, the subreddit votes without the context of the episode necessarily even being out. You just put it to the subreddit.

Are you proposing to give the subreddit actual powers? A little bit. I mean, we can totally ignore it or not do it, but like...

This is a bold proclamation. They would have to remove some of their biases. We gotta start from a clean slate or else you know... No, no, no. I think they're unbiased as it is.

They're gonna pick me because they love me and I don't want that bias getting in the way. Oh, I'm, you know, I trust that bias and I think that's fair. No. I wouldn't want that. I know I'm just so immensely popular and everyone loves everything I do. It's okay, Mark. But I don't want my overbearing

personality to dominate what we do here. I don't know, Bob. I'm not, I feel like, you know, people are going to be people and we can't really change that. I don't want to change the subreddit. Do you, Bob? No, that's not what I was proposing at all. Yeah, I agree.

Two eyes. I don't know what we just agreed to, but we agreed. What do we agree to? Well, like, theoretically, we just created a rule that once per season, you can appeal to the subreddit to overturn the ruling of an episode. How are we going to word it? Do we say, like, subreddit to overturn the ruling of an episode how are we gonna word it do we say like subreddit wade won but i think i should win like do we tell them all the result of whatever we don't talk about episode we tell them the result and i think we should either give them full context or no context it should either like be a thing where

it's like you you explain what happened as best as possible we can't really wait till the episode comes out because we do record these ahead of time. Or we just say, who should win this episode and put two names or three names. It's not really appealing in that case though, because you're not really saying like, I was wrong, but I should win. It has to somehow in the future retroactively apply because we can't give it to them blind or else they don't have the context and that wouldn't be fair. We can't stop the podcast because we do record ahead. But if the subreddit in their once a year moment overturns, that would be a paradigm shift that would have to be retroactively applied. Despite whoever is the host for that one, either they become a host or they become a super host and they're entitled. Or the next time the person who won wins, the person who won the appeal gets to have that episode and take over.

That way it can still happen in the future and it doesn't screw with the past to make things all confusing and jumbled if you win you win a steal in the future two wrongs make a right like they say yeah if you win whenever like let's say i was hosting and you two competed bob won mark appealed mark won his appeal the next time i'm hosting and you two are competing mark can just be like the end i'm using using my win stamps. That could work. That could work. Okay.

I like this. Convoluted. Confusing even. I like it. It's not that convoluted. We'll figure out some way to make it right. I think it's easier than retroactively taking a win than screwing with the line of hosting. So in the future, what we're saying is in the future, if you do this, when the episode

comes out, one of us has to make it. Okay. You know, when this episode comes out, there's us has to make it. Okay. You know, when this episode comes out, there's going to be like 95 polls in the subreddit made by other people. Do we each get one a year? Yeah. All of us get one. Yeah. Each of us gets one. We have to make it. Okay. If I don't have a Reddit account and I want to appeal, one of you two have to post it for me. Make a Reddit account. I'm busy that day. It takes two minutes. I'll do it. Thank you, Bob. If you don't give me a fully written out

prepared thing i'll do it myself and i'll write it and i don't know if you want that but i will post it for you fair and square i know he's he's voting for if you will do it for him and i don't know why you have to vote on amendments here but it's got to be some bearing of responsibility if you don't care enough about your win to do it yourself then you don't really care i'm not making a reddit account out of principle and my principle is i don't have one and i don't want one good on principle you may or may not reap the benefits of this rule we're putting into place thank you i think that's fair i you have to want it badly enough to make it i suppose is that better we're hashing things out here this is the process man dumb hash my my my hash browns are browned at this point they're they're hashed are you happy mark with

that one sure each of us gets each of us gets once per season and uh let's say this rolls because the season turns over in march i think right so we could say maybe starting now just rolls into the next season to clarify what context are we giving Are we just saying pick one of these two or this person One this person's appealing you can make Your case whoever makes the appeal Can lay out as much information as they want Could say how you what happened you could say how you feel

Okay explain why it was unjust Whatever you can write the post And have a poll can we agree that we're not Going to spoil the whole episode though well the episode Will have had to come out poll comes Out after the episode releases that we're not going to spoil the whole episode though? Well, the episode will have had to come out. Poll comes out after the episode releases. That's why it applies to the future because then it doesn't matter

that we've recorded subsequent stuff. That's fair. You have to declare your intent to execute your right as the episode ends when it is unfair or you think it is unfair. So we record an episode.

You think it's unfair. I'm going to subreddit. You'll say subreddit defend me. And then when that episode comes out, you will put a poll of like midday that episode so people can watch it. I feel like I've got a trademark on that sentence, but like, that's fine. I guess you guys can use it. I'm saying what you would say.

Well, thank you. I would. I am doing this right. We're on your side. See, this is the thing about Wade. Am I doing this right? We're on your side. See, this is the thing about Wade.

And I might invoke my unfairness just to mess with him because he knows what he's doing. He knows what he's doing. He knows we're all working together. And he plays this role that is neither the fool nor the victim. It's just someone bouncing in between. All right, Mark. Well, you know what? You just invoked my next proposal.

It's been nonstopstop your proposals. I propose we ban technology talk, but only the parts I don't personally care about me being Wade. Nay. You don't know anything about any technology. We would never talk about technology. All who agree say aye. Nay. The nays can have it. I want to

appeal this to the subreddit. That's not what that rule is. He's wasting it. I propose that I'm allowed to appeal this to the subreddit. That's not what that rule is. He's wasting it. I propose that I'm allowed to appeal that to the subreddit. Boo. Boo is an even worse vote than nay. I'll put that one in the nay column. That's fine.

I like that. Okay, we established a rule. We did it. Yay. I'm sure we'll remember it and use it. I propose that you guys remind me of these rules. We're not going to remind you of nothing. If you don't remember, you don't get to do it.

That's the rules. That's not fair. How is that not fair? As the oldest here, I feel like I should be treated with some dignity and respect. All in favor of that being fair, aye. Aye. Yeah, aye. I do agree.

I should be treated with dignity and respect as being the oldest. Thank you. No, I voted on Mark's thing. That's not true. I spoke last, then we voted. All who agree, say aye. Fuck you guys. You didn't even say it. That got zero votes,

including your vote. I forgot. You guys are supposed to remind me, see? I don't know how you can even be mad about that. Okay, what about this one? I want an audience rule. Is there a limit on the number of proposals that can be made consecutively? I don't- nay! I propose we ban

our entire audience from being allowed to drive to cut back on the tax increases from the cost of the car accidents they've caused you don't even have a car you can't speak for them yeah you don't get to vote on car stuff that's why we get to vote we what if wait wait what if the truck driver who crashed into you was listening to distractible when it occurred didn't that happen right before we launched the podcast didn't we start in May and I lost my car in March? Time travel. Listen to Three Peans in a Pod.

Wait, you haven't had a car the entire time we've been doing Distractible? Yeah, it's already been over three years since he had a car. Subreddit, I appeal that Mark and Bob should get me a car. I? Nay. Okay, you guys went with a goddamn proposal. You hate all mine so much. I've been trying you

just keep talking mark literally was like all right but and you were like i have another proposal okay i have another proposal uh-huh all right i propose we go back to how we were before we changed and those three people that tell us that oh mark you changed could be happy again so mark dies his hair red you grow a head full of hair what do i do you talk in the butters voice butters with the logitech headset may i ask you something all right so we're gonna retroactively de-age ourselves 10 or so years weirdly enough wade still won't have hair uh but he'll be 10 years younger all right i'm out of proposals for now you guys guys can take over. I don't believe you. As soon as one of us talks,

I feel like you're just gonna jump in with another. Nope, nope, go ahead. I have a proposal. Is that point keeping must be out loud and not secret. Oh, I feel attacked by this one. I don't know. It must be front facing because people need to know where they stand

throughout the episode. There's a lot of subterfuge that goes on with points. I always keep points. I don't say it, but I always keep points specifically throughout the episode and it's visible. Do they need to be written so that there's an actual documentation of the points? It would be nice if there was documentation. We could have a shared Google Doc. That's fair.

I'm willing to be fought on this because I get that there's some moments where it can create a little drama, but the audience at the very least should know the point keeping as it's going through the episodes so that they can get a record of where the points actually stand because otherwise things are less fair. Okay. Any reason why? Yeah. Why do you oppose that? I feel like as the person who is constantly talking about being wrong the most, it can only help you. I feel as though we should definitely have episodes where we do that. But I think there's something to be said about the episodes where things are kept secret that keep some suspense going. Because I think there's definitely moments where keeping track of points,

like I've kept perfect track of points before. But there's also sometimes where it's fun not sharing things. I don't know, being forced to always get rid of it kind of gets rid of some of the suspense sometimes. But what about the audience? Okay, I get it. We don't know how many points, whatever whatever but every game show that ever exists like at least the audience whose line didn't keep up with it huh whose line they didn't announce like

they would say an amount of points they didn't actually well the points didn't matter there anyway the winner of there just read the credits but he at least said points out loud but he did declare arbitrary winner if that's what we're doing, that's fine. But it seems like there's actual stakes to these points. Well, there are. This is an official proposal to say that the points are made up, but they do matter, which is a little bit of a shift. I think you should have the ability as hosts to declare this is a secret episode. Episodes like Wade's Secret Words wouldn't necessarily work as well

in a world where you have no option but to announce points out loud but i think there should be a limit you can't just always say oh the points are secret this time i think i did announce points in wade's secret words i think at the end of each segment i was like bob six points mark zero or whatever i think i did uh whatever i'm totally fine with secret other participants not knowing it. All I'm saying is we should have a written record. I feel like all of us should go to like Staples or something, get one of those notepads, get a distractible notebook, a distractible notebook. And for every episode, it could be blank by the end of it. I guess if you forgot to write points down,

that's going to be me. But there has to be a visual record because if there is unfairness and someone proposes on the subreddit then there's got to be a defense there's got to be like a look i kept a record it's totally fair and legitimate to be fair i do always write your names down i put a couple spaces i put how many points that i write pts afterward i do keep track of your all's points you're at pts points he means i just don't always announce it. Well, then I'm proposing we officially, since we all do it anyway, we officially keep a physical written record. Yeah. All of us always definitely track the points accurately.

I don't save it though. Do we have to save it? Because I don't want that many fucking documents on my goddamn computer, my dude. A physical written record is harder to manipulate than going tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip. Do I have to keep track of points like in a straight line of like, here's your points, Physical written record is harder to manipulate than going tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip. Do I have to keep track of points like in a straight line of like, here's your points, here's your points? Or can I literally just backspace to make it a five or whatever I've been doing?

I think he's saying physical like a handwritten. One second. I have a delivery. I'm so sorry. It's just like I don't know if Amy's there. Hey, you want a handshake? Oh yeah. We should absolutely make a handshake deal on this. Do you want to make a rule that only we know yeah yeah what should the rule be what if we make a rule that with either of us

is hosting and mark talks about lenses no matter what you can't win the episode you will never win again that's too harsh that's too harsh okay we could do it for a few episodes and see if he catches on like what if we do like some like very obvious, like, oh no. What if it's a point value? What if it's like minus 500 points or some amount? That's good. Okay. Okay, I'm back.

Hello. Hey. A handshake deal partially occurred while you were gone. Every time. Maybe you should stick around. Yeah, maybe you shouldn't get so many important deliveries. Okay, well, what was it? I don't know.

We don't have to tell you the content of it, just that it happened. I don't think we have to disclose that. If we can't be honest during the tribunal. It affects you, Mark, and it allows both Wade and I to take some action which affects you in the future. That sounds horrible. It'd be positive. It has a limited scope, but it will affect you. I feel as though during the tribunals and during the semi-annual boat episodes,

there can be no handshakes. It's sacred ground. Oh, that's interesting. That's an interesting proposal. Let's vote on it. I say nay. If there is any place where we have to actually be honest and it can't be a bit. Nay.

This and the, I will include the boat episodes because those feel special. Nay. That those feel like the places where maybe that should be a rule i am gonna say wade and i made our handshake deals before this rules and effects of the handshake deal stands but i vote yay with mark oh yay god all right i'm overwritten but from here on out no tribunal handshakes from here until the end of time and during tribunals. And the semi-annual boat episode. Unless our handshake deal said that we could make more handshake deals, I will. We already voted on it.

There's no qualifiers. I agree, but you don't know what the handshake deal is that we made. And we're already saying that it exists. Yeah, I know that Bob said that he squeaked that in. I get it. Whatever. Mark, it's okay. Our handshake deal did not create that loophole so

it's fine unless part of the handshake deal was lying to you about the handshake deal then you i don't you would lie to me anyway why would i even trust anything you're saying babe don't talk to me like that in public we passed the rule we passed the rule that is now the rule rules passed okay this is sacred ground it wasn't before but, but now it is. We've sacrificed it. We've sacralized it. Sanctified. Sanctified. Who blesses the ground to make it sacred?

I propose Shakira. Uh, veto. No, nay. Vetos! No matter the case, we definitely cannot afford Shakira. Even if she was interested, that's not practical. I'm not saying I'm not a fan of Shakira. I just don't think that that's a real thing that could happen.

What if we do a fundraiser to afford Shakira? You can do a fundraiser to afford Shakira on your own, but this podcast does not have to be responsible for your Shakira addiction. Would you like to contribute, Mark, and how much? No. I vote that Mark has to contribute. Ooh, interesting. I'd be like, this gives me a lot of power suddenly i vote that wade has to buy a car with his own money i feel like that's what

he is going to do eventually yeah i've seen no evidence to that come on it's only been three years i'm getting there i've seen no evidence i know that he did drive at least one car at one point that he doesn't plan to buy i i don't know i told molly i was like i might just go buy that she's like no we're going to drive this first okay okay okay why can't we just get in the moving car are you crazy excited by the chainsaws yeah okay i don't know that reference it's the the commercial where the horror the kids in the horror movie keep making stupid decisions they're all all like running around like, let's hide behind these rusty chainsaws. And the one girl is like, why can't we just hop in the running car and drive away?

Are you crazy? How about this? There needs to be, because we are keeping track of these wins and these wins are getting more valuable all the time. There needs to be a yearly winner like a seasonal champion so that there's actual stakes in there and there has to be something that the other losers will do for or by for the winner at the end of the season is it the other two are both punished as losers or the loser is loser is punished man i have no idea i don't know if we really want to

compete for second place i think you either win or you lose i think that makes more sense and there's going to be like a yearly champion there'll be a semi-annual boat champion and then when the podcast ends whenever that happens there will be a overall podcast champion we'll take home the crown what do we do about all the wins that have accrued up to this point do we retroactively pick season champions or do we just start now we're actually right now at the cusp of a new season yeah it's about to be a new season we're getting close so yeah so we'll just like when that season occurs we'll start the thing but we can leading up to it be in the running for who's going to be the champion when it's honest so to speak not at all

it's going to continue year after year okay i'll just put that in the name that wasn't even a proposal nay is there a reward or a punishment for boat champion because i do like semi-annual boat episode special champion you get to drive the boat home i don't want to drive the boat i don't want i don't want that responsibility you get to sink the boat oh it's gonna really put a damper on what kind of boats we do these episodes on i propose mark has to buy the boat then because i don't want to have to get more boat yeah and if you sink a rental boat and you just run away they'll never know run away drive away escape i don't know i feel like? Drive away. Escape. I don't know. I feel like there might be some documented evidence of a boat being sunk if we are sinking

it on a public podcast. You can sink the boat from the shore and then leave. They're going to find if it's on the shore. No, like you get a gun, push the float, the boat or sink the boat in the middle of the water and then swim to the shore or something. You get a second boat. Right. What you really do is you get a submarine.

You fire a torpedo. Well, you load your second boat with as many barrels of gasoline as you can. Drive it at your first boat. Launch a torpedo at the boat with the gasoline right as it comes into contact with the first boat. Both boats go up no one detects you so we need a missile and two boats then you have you self-destruct the submarine get out swim call of duty cutscene style to the surface before it blows up mission failed we'll get them next time you don't even have to swim you just need orlando bloom with an upside down

rowboat down there chilling and you climb it you climb in the rowboat and walk to the shore. All right. What you do is you weigh the canoe down with a giant block of C4, but on the other side. So Orlando Bloom doesn't see it. So as soon as you get to shore, you go like, all right, see you, Bloomy boy. And then you get out of there and you swim Call of Duty style. And then no more. No more witnesses.

What if we just stand on Orlando Bloom as the boat and then we sink him? We don't have to sink any other boats. All in favor of murdering Orlando Bloom. I didn't say murder. I said we sink him. He's an actor. He can play Houdini and get out of it.

He just summons his acting powers. I thought you were going to say he can play dead. He's an excellent actor. He can definitely play dead. Orlando Bloom, I know you're a watcher of our podcast i'm sorry we like you him and shakira are just both shaking their heads right now i can't believe this podcast she's upset that she couldn't become the mascot because she was actually excited for the opportunity they're both hanging upside down in their crashed cars listening to the episode what if we get a boat trophy a bofy There must be some kind of boatie trophy.

There's a yearly trophy that we will have in our office. We will send it to one and they will have the privilege of that entire year bearing a trophy. And then there's a bigger boat trophy. We will present on the boat and you can also have that in your background as the boat champion. And then the final one is, guess an even bigger trophy like one of those trophies that you see in the display case at like a high school where it's like eight feet tall i propose that the editors just edit in a trophy so i don't have to put it up i mean you don't have to have the trophy in your background it's literally just like bragging rights you could choose not to brag

that's fine i know that's why i'm proposing editors put it in so that way it's still there for me but i don't have to do it. I don't think we should add anything to their plates. I think they do plenty and don't need that. That's what you could just say nay. You don't have to be a dick about it. Okay. You just say nay.

I just think you're being kind of rude to the editors. I am, but like I'm supposed to be secretive. Oh, that, you know what? That is assuming that you win the trophy, which is maybe not that big of a threat. So maybe it's nothing. That's true. There's only 33% chance assuming it's fair. When is the first season championship given out at the end of season four is that what we're saying yeah the end of this season right whatever we're in we're in the end

of season three right now it's about to tick over to season four technically in march do we say may is may 17th that's when we first launched is that the date march isn't it march 17th may 17th when we first launched yeah i lost my car in march and then we started a podcast in may i guess the season ticked over when we switched to video oh yeah we start you're right the video started in march the podcast started in may it's gonna tick over in end of march maybe they start after the council this is a whole new concept we start ticking wins after the council so there's a couple extra weeks tossed into the next season all right okay. Okay. We'll just like whoever. All right.

That's fine. Truncated season three. I think whoever started the council episode should get credit for wins. So I should get the last two wins and be up two to zero to zero. Mark started this episode. Not even close. But I'm the reason this episode exists. So I should have two wins.

Yay. Pass. Pass. Abstain. That's not nay. Nay. Okay. One to one to zero.

I think I win. That's not how that works i believe that i propose that whoever whoever has the most successful proposals wins another trophy at the end of this tribunal and every tribunal there's a tribunal lawmaker trophy nay yay nay i just i don't like that idea I propose that I get credit for the best proposal made today Yay Nay Nay I propose that okay instead of a winner's trophy I propose that the person with the most shot down laws Gets a loser's trophy with a big thumbs down

And they have to wear it in their background And they have to mount it Nay With drywall anchors 50 pounds each drywall anchors I think that we should vote down targeted proposals Against individual members of this tribunal. My proposal is currently being proposed.

Is there some kind of fund that all these trophies are going to be purchased with? Or who's responsible for that? Paid for by the loser, Mark. No, I vote nay just because that feels spiteful. No spite rules, no spite rules. We're increasing the fairness of the show in this. We're raising everything up.

We're creating champions in this episode. That leads me to my next proposal. I propose things be built to last again instead of being replaced and broken easily so you have to buy parts and spend a lot of money on them. What did you just say? You know how vacuums and shit used to last like 20 years now it's like every two years they break you gotta replace some part on it i vote that we make things to last what about the podcast does that apply to oh is this specifically related to the podcast i mean i guess you could we could make that a rule but

we don't have any authority outside of literally this what we're doing right here well we could have if we had shakira as mascot and like, I don't know, POTUS has to listen to us as one of the rules, but whatever. It's fine. How do you know what a mascot is? I propose that the loser of an episode, and this isn't spiteful, the loser of an episode has to be sponsored. That's to be sponsored.

It's a loser speech brought to you by a sponsor. And they have to adhere to the sponsorship do we have to get what if we don't have a sponsor if we can actually get a sponsor to sponsor the loser speech uh they have to bend over backwards with how upset we get at losing sometimes i think that would be really funny so i will say yay yeah and you have to you have you can be sour in your loser speech but you have to be magnanimous towards the sponsor because it's very generous of them to sponsor your loser speech, regardless of how you feel about losing.

This loser speech brought to you by the Happy Meal. Are you happy? Well, you should be. Yes, absolutely. I like that. That lightens the tone of the loser. I like how that, that's good. Yay?

Yay. Yay. Yay. Yay. If anyone would actually do that yeah if anyone wants to sponsor that so what do we just make them up for now until there's a sponsor we'll just do what it is it could even be like uncle bubba's tow truck shop you know repair shop and if anyone wants to offer to sponsor the loser segment and is on the subreddit. What if the sponsor gives you like a read to do? Do you have to work that into your loser speech? Yes, you absolutely have to read the talking points into your loser speech.

That's L-O-S-E-R-B-O-B dot com. I feel like we think we have a lot more power over these sponsors than we do, but I would love this. Hell isn't. They don't have to pay a lot. This over these sponsors than we do, but I would love this. Listen, they don't have to pay a lot. This is a cheap spot. It's a real discount. We basically pay you to sponsor us. It's so cheap.

It's a great deal. It's a great deal. Is there any other ways we can address fairness? Can we make rules about Wade complaining even when when he's winning even when nothing bad is happening anything about that spiteful no we can't change our personalities yeah i feel like yeah that's stepping into territories that's being spiteful but i feel like the mute is a powerful tool but you're in control of that i don't know if that should be yeah i i think i'm the only one who can have control of that so that's not that's not true that's true you can't mute

yourself that's true you can't mute yourself for all the good that'll do didn't see that one coming did you oh you know what we you know we do need to circle back to just to just to maybe make it make sense the two-factor random win thing you can't win on a coin flip or a wheel spin alone but we never really nailed down what the second thing could or has to be two in a row yeah let's let's make that but um if we want to get a wheel i'd say we just download a wheel app on our phone that way we all have like the same wheel and we'll have some sort of unit like document that says what we have on the wheel yeah but what's the 10 punishment that's really

the that's the question 10 punishment because like 30 30 30 of the wheel as like two factor it's like 30 30 30 wait no then that doesn't make any sense because we're it's always between two oh man how do we so it could be 45 45 10 or just 50 50 what's the why is there a 10 because the universe were you not listening what if it's 49 49 at 2% punishment what's 2% that the host wins again and gets the host again that's not a punishment for anybody it's a punishment for the

two competitors no the reason you're giving that that other chance is because the universe needs to have the ability to bitch slap any of us for daring questioning it that's a it could be slim it can be very slim but it needs to be like you have to ask for the two the second roll then like you can just accept the loss no this is this is the two factor this is the second roll and then it's best two out of three who is it punishing well we haven't decided what the punishment is right but who would it punish probably all of us it would

be bad for everyone so what happens if it flips to one side but then spins to the other what's the tiebreaker what if we just do the wheel what if we say all if you want to do a coin flip if you want to do random what if it's the the wheel of distraction and that's the if you want to do invoke that you invoke that but it always comes with one factor authentication well but it all you could say two out of three wins on the wheel, but the wheel comes with the punishment of, if you're going to be so lazy that you're not keeping points and you want to make the winner random, there's a chance the universe is going to tell you

to suck it up and keep track of the point. It's a punishment for resorting to that as the winning, as who decided the winner. What's the fair percentage of a rarity of that it has it can't be two that's too low five five it's hard to divide the other ones yeah i don't you probably can't do like 47.5 chance or whatever 10 feels too high sense too high 10 is too high i mean what if it's six 47 47 and a six percent chance of punishment i think that's fair it's three percent for each person yes six percent chance ten percent would be one in ten five percent would be one in twenty

it'd be slightly more than a one in twenty chance of landing on that which is like that's that's going to happen and it punishes the host or it punishes everyone everyone the pun we have to decide what the punishment is or what the punishments are maybe there's a wheel of punishment or something i don't even know it's not pleasant and it's all of us cadast chat gpt we could sit on it you know we could we could come back and think about our punishment wheel or take ideas from the subreddit or something man when is the next tribunal gonna be we have to figure this out this is the work we gotta put in what's the what do we not want to happen well i don't know eat something gross drink something

gross it has to take something from us something we hold dear i have to listen to you talk about lenses i don't know what's the worst thing we can think of all right yeah i have to break a lens oh no wade what do you cherish i'm not breaking her i this is not of commensurate monetary value, but I will on camera destroy a phone case for the phone I currently am using. Damn. I already have four phone cases for this phone and I've barely owned it for like six months,

but I will destroy a phone case and I will even, I don't know, should I be able to pick it or should, I won't like buy one for that purpose. It'll be a case that I bought because I wanted it and I will destroy it. I will use, I don't know, should I be able to pick it or should I won't like buy one for that purpose? It'll be a case that I bought because I wanted it and I will destroy it. I will use scissors or something. Caveat about this. I just remembered some of these old lenses are radioactive and having radioactive particles

enter the air is... I don't know about destroying or shit. Maybe this isn't the way to go. Well, I think a lens is a little bit much, but I feel like a phone case for me I'm on board with like that would be sad even if it's one I don't use a lot I bought it because I wanted it and it's what the hell do I cherish to throw a chicken nugget away like what the fuck am I doing

we could always do what I used to do for punishments back in the day is spicy shit I don't know why no I'm talking about like the one man show but this would only be punishing one person. It's like you have to do a bonus episode. One man show that was written by the other members. Oh, no.

Which is like so much work. But if it's like that's a punishment. But we all would have to do one. It could punish the host. It's kind of a punishment to the other two people to have to write that. But and then have the host perform it for them. That's a good point because it is a punishment to the other two people to have to write that, but, and then have the host perform it for them. That's a good point. Cause it is a punishment to everyone.

Everyone has to contribute. It just punishes the host way more. And the host has to do the one man show that the other two have to write. Damn, I'm just going to keep track of points. Yeah. Well, that's, that's the thing. There's an easy out in this, isn't there? I feel like that's punishment for us.

It's entertainment for the audience. They't there i feel like that's punishment for us it's entertainment for the audience they win we lose it's rare it could happen but it's there always lurking six percent chance and it's like a bonus episode not like an hour long episode right so it's a bonus yeah it wouldn't take the place okay okay there's a six% chance if you resort to the wheel that you will have to perform a one-man show written by the other two. Yes. And it could be about anything, everything possible. That's the risk. It never has to happen.

It could not. It could not happen. The entirety of Rest of the Distractible, but the risk is there. I like that. Yay. We should have been writing this stuff down. All right. Yeah.

Yay. Oh, I do want to say, we don't need to make this a lot. I vote yay. is there i like that yay we should have been writing this stuff all right yeah yay uh oh i do want to say we don't need to make this a lot i vote yay i do want to say as part of this i think we should be able to audit each other's point taking this is definitely going to be worse for me because i'm the one who's most guilty of just straight up not even keeping track of any points but at any point if you feel like someone is not actually keeping track of points or hasn't written things down and it's just like bullshitting to avoid having to resort to the wheel and they can't show you something where they've written something to like keep track of whatever you could force them to wheel i feel like this is really

putting myself under the bus as much more than anyone else here it would have to be a majority decision like both participants would have to agree that they felt like it was a grievanced enough that the hosts need to be forced to a wheel even if it's one favoring i feel like in the goodness of my heart maybe not wade's heart but my heart i could i could see the fairness if it came out that it was unfair i feel like i would also support probably wade let's be honest but so you can but like you can't just every episode you can't audit but if you feel like there's unfair if it comes up it creeps in you can't just get away with bull bullshitting to avoid the wheel you might have to be forced to do the wheel this feels like work and

it breaks up the discussion we're having i vote nay well this is like the red flag in football you know football right wade the coaches have a protest flag the challenge flag yeah you get one challenge flag one challenge flag how often maybe you get three a year then i gotta keep track of points and flags yeah that's the thing about you gotta keep track of handshakes you gotta keep track of points i vote nay i don't even keep up with what we're talking about this is a nay for me dog listen wayne you don't have to keep track of anything just don't use this you guys can overrule me i'm just voting nay you guys can vote yay no this is the thing wait no it, you don't have to keep track of it because this is another way for you

to say this was unfair to me. I challenge at the end of the, you don't have to remember anything. Just if you skate through an episode and you feel, oh, something happened in there that I didn't like. You got it. That's it. It's giving you something. I agree.

Now you two can vote yay and overrule me, but I vote nay. That's very confusing. Anything that gives me more work, I vote nay on. It's giving you more power. Yeah, but responsibility too. that's very confusing anything that gives me more work i vote nay on it's giving you more power yeah but responsibility too and i don't like that why are you guys appealing to me i just voted vote yourselves what do you get to throw a flag we're trying to bring you on board because we feel like this is something that could benefit you i'll participate if it's if you two rule it i'll participate you're just acting like we're doing this to you and we're trying to explain to you why am i allowed to vote independently from the tribunal?

Yeah, but if you complain, then we're allowed to try and change your mind. Then I vote nay! The vote has been cast. The ballot is up in the air. It's caught. Touchdown! When we first started about the podcast and we were like, listen, Wade, you're going to have to get a microphone.

Did you go, or are you going to have to show up at a time you have to wake up is that what you're doing internally see how many responsibilities you've given me and i've i've come through you're welcome i will keep up with the challenge flags if you two vote yay we'll keep up with them we better just make it one a year we better just make it one a year because you won't be able to no the vote was two okay wade wants it to be two wade wants it to be two wade voted no on two all right yeah you get one reddit protest you get two challenge flags and two challenge flags aren't guaranteed because it could be anything and it could force a one-man show yay yay i vote yay okay good i'm glad we all are in agreement all right i have one last proposal i propose that i win this episode you know weirdly i'm i'm not instantly opposed yeah i don't have a strong

argument against that do you have a reason or you just i feel like i was very engaged i brought a lot of proposals to the table and despite the fact that a lot of them were shut down i didn't really fight them i just kind of let it go and i went on and I had debates for yay or nay on your guys' proposal. I just felt like it was a really strong tribunal participation from me and I feel like I should win. I feel like you had a lot of proposals, but I think I had a high success rate in my proposals. I think I was above 50%. I believe I was above 50%. Meaning? Meaning that my quality over quantity of proposals was pretty high. And the more each of you talk, the less I want you to win the episode. I think we should see, I think we should just let Wade win and stop ruining everything.

Because I was feeling really good about this and now everybody's... Here, wait, let's recap, let's recap what it was and then we can talk about. What did we agree to? We agreed there will be a semi-annual, meaning once every two years, boat episode. Yes. We agreed that there will be a season champion at the conclusion of every season, and that even though we're not technically in season four, it starts now, and we will decide the first champion at the end of season four.

This episode, the win for this episode, is the first one that counts towards the season championship. We also agreed that there will be an overall distractible champion when this episode ends, or when this podcast ends, there will be a champion of champions who will get a tall, tall trophy. The boat trophy is the smallest. The season champion trophy is the next biggest. The ultimate champion, biggest, biggest trophy. Yes. We agreed, if you want to resort to some sort of random form of deciding

the victor you must spin the wheel of distractible or whatever we didn't name it but the wheel and the wheel has a 47 chance that one person will win a 47 chance that the other person will win and a six percent chance of the one-man show punishment where the host who resorted to randomness has to perform a one-man show written by the host who resorted to randomness has to perform a one-man show written by the other two competitors as a bonus content episode that will be released on the channel. We also agreed that you have to keep some sort of written record, handwritten record. I would like a handwritten just because it's easier to maintain. You'd have to scribble something out or erase it to change it. You can change it.

I'm not saying you can't change it, but there's a record of those changes occurring. You can delete things in text on a computer with no record of anything having ever been there. I get that. It's like, you know, in boxing, you got the judge's scorecard. It's like, score, score, score. Are you cool with that, Wade? That's fine.

I'll get some paper or something, but yeah, it's fine. So you should buy, like, a distractible journal or or something you could keep track of your one protest and two red flags i'm gonna get a notepad just make it really small point note but yeah uh so so you have to keep handwritten track of points we have given each of the three of each of us individually has one uh appeal to the subreddit per season So that starts now and ends at the end of season four. You get one time where you can appeal the result of an episode. And then when the episode is released, you make a post on the subreddit or have someone make it for you, I guess, if you really don't give a shit.

They will vote and pick the actual winner, at which point the next time the person who did win is supposed to host, you steal their win. You are given uh your vengeance in a slightly time delayed format so that it doesn't mess up all of our recordings um we gave our each of us gets two red flag challenges per season which you may throw that at any point during any episode to challenge the validity of the host's point keeping and if it does turn out that you challenge and the host is not actually keeping track of points it's just bullshitting they are automatically forced to spin the wheel thus subjecting them to the potential punishment

uh that is part of the wheel that we already laid out so you get two challenges per season we didn't agree to this officially but i think it's we should say all of these rules exist and each of us is responsible on our own for keeping track of and remembering what the rules are, what rights we have and how many times we've done whatever thing. If someone uses the appeal to the subreddit more than once and the other two don't catch it, that's totally legitimate. If someone throws a third red flag and the other two don't catch it, totally legitimate. episode it can't be after the fact like they read the subreddit someone calls them out right no yeah if if we let it fly in the episode that's on us what if we call them out and we're wrong um they have to have some kind of proof and you can you can call them out

and if they can be like no see i used one in this episode and then i haven't used one sense unless you can prove that they have actually violated then nothing happens you're an asshole i vote nay about keeping track of our own things too late that's not an official rule that's just how things work here addendum could i make an addendum to the challenge flag just because it's very much he said she said on the well no she says here but you know it's very much like your word against mine if you're challenging the judge and they hold up a piece of paper doesn't necessarily mean that it was fair they have to explain it but even then it could be like who's deciding so i'd say just as an aside it should be obvious but in case that's not the other competitor has the option to throw their flag and force it no matter what like if both competitors throw flags challenge flags if

they agree that there was discrepancy then the judge judge has no choice, no matter what. But if one person throws a flag and the judge is like, then yeah, you would force the wheel. But if they have a written record and they can explain everything, then... Do we have to explain every point we've marked? Or do we just have to be like, see here's... I think it has to be adequate. We have to play fair. And if you can't say something, an explanation where everyone's kind of like,

all right, the other person can choose to dogpile and force the wheel as like a form of having having your competitors back because that would essentially mean that you're forfeiting presumably if you're the other person you're winning because it's unfair in some way that the first person is protesting that would mean you're basically giving up a win to be like nah that, that's too unfair. Yeah, exactly. It would be rare, but I just want the option to be there. Yeah. I can't really see a situation where that would have happened that we have encountered, but it's possible that was never an option. So we never talked about it like that. Just so the exceptions there, just so it could happen. Yay. Yay.

Uh, yeah. What? Sure. Okay, good. Excellent. Subredreddit can somebody make me a list of what the hell happened today yeah no sub subreddit please someone transcribe the constitution of distractible so that we could check that over uh because none of us did that at all bonus points if you bias it to me yeah we were not writing anything which does not bode well for keeping track of things going into the future no look i already have a pen all i need is something for this pen to rub on and i'm i'm there i have this microphone cover i don't think that's gonna be very helpful but maybe you'll have a way to do it that i haven't imagined i went on and i bought some i bought some notebooks or notepads during Yeah, I have like those little like field note size like pocket. Ow! Fuck me!

There's a cup on my desk. I just hit just the little tip of my funny bone just on the edge of the cup. And you know when your whole arm feels like it explodes when you hear your funny bone just right? What was I saying? I think you said Wade Wins. I'm sure that there's something that I forgot to recap that we're not thinking of, but the subreddit will help. And I trust them, kind of. So we leave the winner up to a wheel spin then.

I mean, look, no. So to return to where we were, Wade proposed that Wade wins this episode. We did table that. We have not decided. We can return to that. We discussed this proposal now. And I think that everything beyond that is fair because Wade, if he doesn't keep track of all these things that could benefit him then it's not our fault yeah i do think that uh some of these rules are definitely going to be tough on me

but i think that wade having to keep track of anything is definitely a little bit of a disadvantage for him so i do feel like yeah these feel like spiteful rules and i feel like that was against the the whole point of this spiteful me and my inability to care enough to write stuff down is not my fault and I feel like it shouldn't be held against me. Yeah, I think you're just not good at that, but that's okay. My brand is laziness and you guys are attacking my brand.

All right, the more you talk, the more... You keep saying that, that also feels spiteful. It is spiteful. That's against this tribunal. Oh man, I really don't want to make him winner. No, unless there's another argument, I'm fine with Wade winning as long as he stops ruining it. Yeah, I want Wade to be the host for the next one because I want to take advantage of all the rules that he is not paying attention to.

Right, right. If you get the shit out of the way early, I don't have to worry about the rest of the year, so that'd be nice. Season ends in about a month and a half. The proposal is that Wade shall be the winner. I thought this was the start of season four, even though it's not the start of season four. We're counting that for the wins and for the trophies and stuff. But I do think we could refresh the flags, challenges and things that the season take over. Yeah, this is the beginning of the counting for season three.

Season four will start in a few months. It's an experimental period, okay? We're just testing it out. We got to feel out how these rules work. It gives us a chance to use them without it being such a few months. It's an experimental period, okay? We're just testing it out. We've got to feel out how these rules work. It gives us a chance to use them without it being such a high stakes. Anyway, Wade wins the episode. It is proposed. Yay. Yay.

Three yays have it. That's unanimous. Wade wins! Yay! Congratulations! At some point, you're going to have to win and be happy about it. We did not propose that. That feels like a spiteful rule. I'm not saying that's a rule.

I'm just saying, like, at some point, there's got to be a time where you win and also you're happy about it because I feel like it's just been a long time since that happened. Yeah, it has been. You keep being very upset about your wins. Well, the only win I've had recently, I literally had to steal from the grasp of defeat, so I would agree it has been a long time. Why would

you not be happy about that? Sometimes it feels good when your friends just do something nice for you and you don't have to beat them to a pulp and take what's yours. We just gave you the win! For the one you won to host Wade's Little Philosophy Hour, you won fair and square. That was so long ago. That was before we even had the

Tribunal episode. Everything is currently before we even had the tribunal episode. Except for right now. Until you end it. That's true. You two have loser speeches? I don't think we lost. I think we just... No, yeah, it's not a loser.

It's just like non-winners. There's no tribunal losers, okay? We're all winners here. It was a very productive meeting and good work, everyone. And Wade wins. All right. Feels good to be on top. Wait for my Wade tatership where I undo all of this in the next one. If you haven't already, go follow Bob

at MySkirtMarketMarketPly or me at Minion777 or LordMinion777. Merch will be coming. That's true, actually, yeah. That is true, yeah. Actually, there was a cool design on the subreddit that I think would be great for when the refresh occurs. Alright, one day we'll find a company or a place or a warehouse, or we'll just get some sticks and leaves and make our own merch

and draw on it with pretty crayons and we'll sell it to you. And it'll be very low quality, but you'll buy it anyway because you love us and you love sticks. God, you love sticks. Until then, though, podcast out.