Distractible - The Distractible Threesome

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

Happy Valentine’s Day! Today the guys show their devotion by answering The New York Times “36 Questions that Lead to Love.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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your hosts Wanton Wade, Buxom Bob, and Maidenly Mark. This week, there is to Distractible, threesome please prepare thy camcorders and um enjoy the show hey everybody welcome back to distractible the podcast where we get distracted pretty easily i'm your host today i'm wade i'm joined by my valentine's mark and bob hi guys oh hi hi hey babe hey babe hey how you doing uh i'm doing good and or bad, depending. What? Depending on what? What?

You could say depending. I don't know. I just wanted to give a vague answer. You're covering all the bases of emotion today, depending on how it goes. I get that. I understand that. Just in case. You never know. You're just pre-moding this episode.

You don't know where it's going to lean. Yeah. You know, who knows how things will be in five or ten minutes. Did you not plan out Valentine's Day? Was Molly like expecting something and you just realized that you don't have anything to do? Well, I made a couple of good and or bad decisions for Valentine's Day, including having some guests over so that it's not our special day with just the two of us. Oh, nobody wants to be alone as a couple on Valentine's Day.

You want to have a lot of people over. about me no privacy no intimacy party dude isn't that what happens when you go out to a restaurant on valentine's day and you're surrounded by just non-stop couples you're all kind of sharing that experience and it's they cram the tables in on valentine's day but everyone collectively agrees to ignore the existence of everyone else there you have guests at the house it's not a bunch of couples sitting at tables three inches away from each other like angling their shoulder and never making eye contact yeah guests at your house want you to talk to them let them in i go up to every couple at a restaurant and well at least pre-pandemic i would go up to every couple at the restaurant

like shake their hands say congrats on being together. Try their food. Hey, this is delicious. That one guy you walk in, you're like, hey, I'm Wade. It's nice to meet. And everyone is like, oh, my God, I'm trying to eat some chicken finger. I have literally been in a restaurant where I was closer to the couple next to me than I would if I sat next to you, Bob. Like they were their elbow was in my plate. That's how close we were. And I could hear everything. There was no privacy at all.

Great food, but just like too dense. It's so awkward. No, I get that. It's like, we need as many tables as possible because that's how we make money. But there's gotta be like a minimum distance that tables are required. The worst thing for me is I'm big, right? I'm tall, but I'm also like heavier. I'm thick. I don't fit between things the same as other people. And I've been in that situation where it's like, you know, there's like a row of tables

that are all three inches apart. And the waiter is like, okay, have a seat. And I'm like, where are we going to move the tables? Or do I climb over? Do I need to go to the end of the bench and ask everyone to get up so i can slide into my seat like how does this work maybe just do some research and pick better restaurants for valentine's day i don't know that's my recommendation no no you just go to the first

one you find all right well fair enough i guess at least you guys at least you guys thought about it i just you type into the google fancy romantic restaurant food dining eat out happy pun time and then you click on the first restaurant you find and you make a reservation boom holiday you wake up in a cold sweat go oh no i forgot and then try your best honey i got us a reservation for 3 45 it's cool to eat dinner really early now. I definitely booked in advance. I didn't forget about this and get a last minute reservation at a terrible time. I picked this time specifically. I booked this months ago and got the coolest time I could, which is 345 in the afternoon now. Don't worry.

It's only in downtown Cincinnati in February at 8 p.m. outside. It'll be fine. I got you the best restaurant. They call it O'Shale. It'll be fine. I got you the best restaurant. They call it O'Charlie. It's really something special. Dude, when there is German in the name of the restaurant, you know it's going to be good.

Mm-hmm. Did you say O'Charlie's in German? No. O'Charlie! Is that the combination I just heard? The only restaurant that came to mind for German was Fuddruckers, and I'm like, I don't think that's German.

Darling, I've got some beautiful reservations this evening. We're going to be eating at Skyline Chili. It's a chili. Skyline Chalet. That sounds French. It's not. And then afterwards, we should be going to a very exclusive dessert restaurant called Gra-Eaters. Well, actually, that's not bad.

That's a pretty good one. That's a pretty good place to go. I thought you were going to say, like, they have this wonderful thing called a Frostay at Wienbers. We've got an audience with the queen. The Dairy Queen. Yes. Yes. with the queen.

The Derry Queen. Yes. I hear she can summon a blizzard on command. And that's Valentine's Day. Alright, we're good at this, guys. So romantic. Well, thankfully, despite our horrible ideas for what a good valentine's day is i think we're pretty safe with our partners because you guys you guys definitely

did the 36 questions right when you found uh mandy and amy what the 36 questions you know to fall in love with anyone do this and you ask your partner 36 questions i probably have asked her 36 questions in the decade we've been together the new york times posted this i don't know a while back there was a study done by arthur aaron and there was this big thing where uh i don't remember daniel jones i think posted this article that listed basically there's 36 questions and you're supposed to ask uh your potential partner these questions and the idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness and so if you guys answer these questions it'll bring you together and you'll

be in love or something i actually do know about this and do you know that in that study i forget what the exact percentage is but like a surprising number of those couples went on to be married from that study like i don't know if they're still married, but I do know that it was a non-zero number. How many actually? Most of them. And by most of them, I mean somewhere between 1% and 99%. I mean, look, I'm not going to like throw out there

that I know what I'm talking about until I research it. That's what we do on this podcast. Uh-huh. Thorough research. That's what we do. If anyone listens to our podcast and thinks that we're a factual scientific podcast, they're at the wrong place. I like the idea of the researchers who did this. Just after every couple was done, they're like, hey, if we toss you like a couple grand each, you guys get married for a couple months?

Just to prove a point. It's just an academic paper, right? No one will read this. And enough of them were like, 5,000. And they were like, yeah, done. Done, done. Yeah, we got funding for this. We can swing that, yeah.

So five grand each. And just, you know, go to Lake City or whatever. Have a nice time. I don't know how many people were in the study, but at least two couples went on to get married. That's pretty good. There might have been more. Were they strangers? Yeah.

That's pretty good. That was the point of the study. They got strangers to get in there and do these questions. Huh. yeah pretty good that was the point of the study they got strangers to get in there and do these questions huh well what if we and by we i mean i read these questions to you two and you have to answer them during the show today and we'll see if you guys are ready to get married by the end wait so it's a competition to see who falls in love with you so you judge this mark but no not us we're competing for wade's or competing for wade's love yeah at the end of this he's going to be in love with one of us guaranteed that's how this is guaranteed okay so whoever he's in

love with that's the winner he will propose to and then we'll meet up yeah in vegas and have an elvis wedding i'll ask you guys all 36 questions i'll give you a point for each question based on who i think had the better answer at the end we'll see who had the better of the 36 answers. And statistically, you will be in love with the person with more points. It's a good thing it's not an even number, so we can't tie. I'll give a bonus point for whoever's taller or something at the end. I don't know. Yeah, taller.

Biggest weight. Hold on. Feet. Damn it. Biggest feet. I got big feet, so, you know, that's pretty good for me. All right, I'm giving a point to Bob for biggest feet i got big feet so you know that's pretty good for me all right i'm giving a point to bob for biggest feet i i could probably beat you on single adrenal glands size because i only have one and it swells in proportion whenever you lose one of your organs

the other one compensates right that's why lance armstrong he only has one ball but it's huge all right no more bonus points i gave two to mark for senile adrenal gland size, one to Bob for feet. So let's... Well, I got two feet. He only has one adrenal gland. Yeah, but it's huge! My feet are huge. I could squish your adrenal gland with one of my feet. Please don't! The other one, just watch!

No! You love me yet, Wade? Uh, alright, I'll give three points to Bob for feet. Two to Mark. Wait, if you stepped on my adrenal gland for like five seconds afterwards, I would be fucking manic. It's just a sack filled with adrenaline. It just leaks out and I just squeeze it like a little water balloon and you're just like, oh my God. That's what it is, right?

Wouldn't that happen? Isn't that what would happen? I don't know if that's how it works. I don't know. I'll look it works. I don't know. I'll look it up later. Later. All right. Well, in order to break the tie, you both have three points at the start.

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Shoot, I got rock. I had paper. Ah, damn it. Did you have paper? Oh, yeah, no, I totally did the hand motions and everything. I didn't just listen to you say rock, paper, scissors and then say what you were doing and then say, well, the one that beat you that wasn't what i did fair is fair okay

all right for outsmarting mark then i guess bob gets to go first i should have clapped that would have really sold it i should have just like rock paper scissors well going first might not necessarily be an advantage here because it gives mark more time to think about this yeah sure that's how this is gonna work oh i'm very desirable it's an advantage for me oh okay well then here we go let's kick this off uh question one bob given the choice of anyone in the world whom would you want as a dinner guest that's an interesting choice um i would say that's a couple people so they have to be alive no i'd say i'd say not oh well this is gonna be emotional then i would say i would love to have one more dinner with my maternal grandmother um and before she had alzheimer's and she passed away a number of years ago now uh but i would love to have one more dinner with her uh before the

alzheimer's really started to progress so that i could just talk to her about, you know, how things have gone. That's really nice. I get my sense of humor from her. Also my glittering positive attitude that you guys are so familiar with, I'm sure. But yeah, she got to attend Manny and my wedding, which was great. But at that point, short-term memory was almost gone, like mostly gone. I would love to catch up with her and just like get to share with her, you know, how life has gone. I think she would be surprised.

She didn't know about YouTube and stuff back then. I wasn't doing that yet or not, not as much. I think that would be nice. And you know, to hang out with family. I would have my whole family. That's really nice. Follow that one up, Mark. Good luck.

I, I literally, and this is super, anyone alive or dead in any time in history, right? Yeah, sure. Yeah, that's fair. I want to have dinner with like one of the first humans, like whatever you would qualify as the first human who like was in any way capable of speech or something like that. I doubt I'd understand them. Sure.

But just because I want to see what that's like. And also they would be so freaked out. So I might die at this dinner but i just think it would be a fascinating experience if it's just like an experience to share a meal with anybody ever like i don't really care about a lot of other people i mean bob great with your grandma i get that i could make that he stole it i could have done that i took your idea no no no just like i really just want to see just from a like a experiencing the roots of humanity kind of thing i've just like i think that would be so fascinating they'd probably kill me you know that's interesting yeah i like that

yeah i think that that's a very that's like a very interesting answer i do have to give the point to bob personal relatability which is what this is all about is i think if i could have a meal with someone it would be my grandma who passed away back in like 05 i would love to have one more meal with her just for her to see like where i've gone in life and the things that we've gotten to do the three of us and so on and so forth first human would be interesting though i'm not gonna lie trying to just communicate assuming that you know they would be calm enough to understand like you know going to sit down at a meal yeah and not just like i don't know hitting a snail with a rock or something i said civilized it would be fascinating i think it would be an interesting task to pick who that is yeah exactly

because like defining what what level of communication they would have yeah well from what time maybe because there are lots of humanoid i don't know what are they hominins i'm not i don't know these things but like there's probably a lot of generations of creatures exist you know yeah beings that aren't really like human as we know it but our predecessors that's a very interesting idea in general yeah i would leave it as like an open-ended thing like monkey's paw style like you're making a wish to a genie and you didn't get specific enough i would just say first human and i would want to know what shows up right yeah that would just be if it's a baby i'm gonna be disappointed but like hopefully they're an adult adults only okay this is gonna

be at a sandals no kids allowed there's just two aliens like like standing next to a test tube and there's just a human baby and then like we made this first human yeah it's that it's that dude from the uh the the alien movie the the big Paul like pasty white dude Who drank the black goo and dissolved you know he's like got the cup in his angel? I'm gonna have to move us on cuz we do have a lot of questions. Okay. All right fine. That is interesting Alright question to Bob I go first the whole time I can alternate this yeah, I'm open fine. I'm open to whatever. Do you want to alternate, Mark? Yeah, let's alternate.

Mark, you go first this time. Okay, thank you. All right, Mark, would you like to be famous? If so, in what way? Can you imagine what that might be like? I mean, it's interesting, though, from the perspective of having some fame. Yeah. Honestly, I'm not as famous as a lot of celebrities out there definitely like bob

and i yeah yeah like you guys you guys uh but but it's kind of that thing where my whole life and i think most people's lives like i enjoy this like casual anonymity of going to restaurants alone and you know it's not like i'm bothered if someone comes up and recognizes me but now it's like a constant thought definitely Definitely like the benefits of like being able to make whatever I want and the ancillary things of, you know, I have an audience and I can create things. I don't think you could ever separate those ideas. Like you couldn't do what I am doing right now. And to the level of success that I'm able to do it, you know, if, if this podcast, we did a podcast, but no one was listening to it, it would still be fun. And I imagine we would probably do it. But considering

you can't separate those ideas, like I do think I'd still want to have like that level of fame, because when you live in a world with other people, you have to interact in some way. And when you want to share the things you create, it just has to be like nowadays, you see a lot of like faceless YouTubers or like people that hide their appearance or identity and i'm sure everything comes out eventually like you can't hide forever but you know i don't even think i would want that you know i i think i'm good where i am i'm in a very comfortable spot all right bob no all right cool i mean so i would not judge i mean it's not a thing you can judge anyway but. But I don't look down on being famous at all. I think it's very cool.

It's like you said, Mark. If you're the kind of person like you are, where you're creative and you're making things, you want to be able to watch them. The point is to make it and to make what you want. But you get a lot of enjoyment out of making something and being proud of it. And then someone watching. Yeah, exactly. And this is why people you know they're like

streamers who stream to a handful of people five ten whatever and they're not famous or anything but it's fun to stream even if it's to a small group or to make youtube videos or whatever you know there's a lot of ways you can make art or creations and you just want someone to appreciate it you want to be proud of it yourself and And I totally get that. But the things that come along with it seem exhausting to me. My main experience with this is the summer that Mandy and I lived in DC when you came and visited and we did like a charity stream and hung out and it was really fun. But the whole time you were there, you had to wear,

if we ever went in public, you had to wear a hat and sunglasses. Or else like we were all just walking around and in the distance you'd always just be like and people would come up and it's like you said like i don't begrudge anyone if people have recognized me in public too like i'm i'm in your videos people know my face a little bit i'm never mad but it always i'm not like prepared for that i've had so many experiences where i'm like at a grocery store, not in a context where I'm ready for someone to be like, are you Markiplier's friend? And they come up and they're like, oh, dude, I love drum Minecraft.

And I'm like, yeah, do you know where Ritz crackers are? They're like, oh, can you like, can we get a picture? I'm like, oh yeah, I guess. I don't know what. And you know, like, I'm just not that person. I can't imagine what someone like, I don't know what, and you know, like, I'm just not that person. I do. I can't imagine what someone like, I don't know, like George Clooney or, you know, Dwayne, the rock Johnson, or like anyone with that level of celebrity where it's like, you're known by every human alive.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Type thing. I don't know what that is, but even your, where you are, Mark, you're very famous wherever you go. It's pretty likely there there's going to be someone there who's like, who will recognize you, who might be bold enough to like you know interrupt while you're eating dinner or whatever yeah i just can't live that way that's so much yeah and like i just couldn't i couldn't do it it would drive me insane i would eventually i would be that guy where someone's like oh my god you're bob can i get an autograph and i'd be like go away i'm busy i'm at the cvs for my tummy's upset and i need anti-diarrheal medicine i don't want to take a picture with you and then it's like i would be that guy you know after some amount of time i don't want that life that's not good for me it's weird though right

it's weird answering this question from the fact that we've experienced both a level of fame and the before times where we hope before times before times because like i like where i'm at too um seeing like i remember going to la and we were trying to go to dinner one night we had to walk like three or four blocks and we got stopped like five or six times in that short walk people like were like mark mark mark oh my god you're mark and it's like that's really cool getting to interact with fans but like you said like you're not even like we you whatever are not even like the most recognizable faces on the planet like it gets crazier than even that yeah and at some point you completely sacrifice having privacy and getting to have any bit of normal existence and i definitely don't

want that i think i would like to have some like where I'm at right now because I do love attention. I do like eyes on me. I love my career and the podcast, everything else we do. But any more than where I'm at, and it would be that would be too much because I still like having a somewhat normal existence. Getting to go out to a restaurant and occasionally run into somebody is nice. But having to go out every time like wearing a disguise or something so I can just buy a loaf of bread would be terrible. Is this just a big, long way of saying Bob gets the point?

Is that what you're leaning on to? No, I'm agreeing with you, so actually you got the point. Oh, hey, thank you. Hey, thanks, pal. You agreed with what I said. Thanks, pal. Thank you. He said he wanted some fame.

I want some fame. He said he's happy where he's at. I'm happy where I'm at. I relate to that. Yeah, so he's perfect. We both don't want more fame, but we both are attention whores unlike you, Bob. Thank you. I'm definitely not an attention whore.

That's true. Guys, whenever you see Bob in public, just rush him. Don't. Ask for that autograph. Ask him how his tummy's doing. How's the hemorrhoids, Bob? Bad. Bad.

Tummy's bad. Oh, God. Tummy update. Not good. Next episode, Bob's tummy. Based on our current progress, we might be skipping a few questions. No, no, no. You just go faster.

This is a six hour long episode let's go all right speed rounds all right before making a telephone call bob do you ever rehearse what you're gonna say not ever for any reason ignore the fact that i'm far away from the microphone i thought i had more time to grab a water bottle no never i i like to call and sometimes i forget why i called and someone's like hello and i'm like'm like, hi, who's this? Oh, shit. No. Yeah, I know I called you. Start talking. Beautiful. Mark, what about you?

Dude, I don't even rehearse going into this podcast. Like, why would I rehearse for a phone call? Great. It's a wash. No points for anybody. Question four. Okay. Mark, you're first.

What would constitute a perfect day for you? Oh, man. Probably just a day where no one contacts me. Beautiful. You want fame and attention but no interaction all right bob what about you uh uh it would be uh fun one of the west coast tour days is probably pretty close that was really fun and mandy was there and like a bunch of friends were there we did a show that we hung out. It was awesome.

Something like that. Beautiful point to Bob. Okay. I like human contact. It gets to be too much sometimes, but I definitely need like some attention on me at some point in the day. Yeah, we're starting to pick up this idea here. We get you.

We hear you. All right. It's not about me. It's about us. By us, I mean me. Bob, I think you're up again when did you last sing to yourself or to someone else uh this morning like in two hours ago what'd you say i sang to myself i took a shower this morning and uh we've been listening to the incanto soundtrack on repeat and so what i'm just doing stuff uh i'll just be like i don't talk about no no no

over and over i don't even know most of the words this time i just know the chorus mark you're an la campfire guitar guy what about you hey whoa this seems a little personal this is a little extreme not to imply anything but uh when's the last time you sang to yourself i mean like both parts of that question was this morning because like i'll just randomly mumble anything but then when amy like gets in the room it'll just be like poop my pants poop my pants i have just pooped my pants it's a lot of pooping my pants i sing about um that sounds like a joke but i know that it's not which part the pooping pants with that i do this just singing in general about a lot of

poop and other things yeah it's a lot of poop a lot of butts a lot of singing about that yeah i uh hum the dead by daylight soundtrack to me sometimes i don't really care to play the game all that much but the do do do do but i always replace it with poo poo pee pee hey we are one of a kind here two peas in a pod all right point to mark we both like poop and pee there you go well oh hey hold on that's factual let's move on mark you're up if you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old for the last 60 years of your life which would you want mind or body mind easy the the idea of like being feeble i don't like it but the idea of like living with losing yourself

you know your mind like oh man that that'd be the worst so i'd have to go with mind well you bob i can't tell if it's mind or neither i think if i was presented with this, I would, well, no, I would probably pick mind. Then I would not want to live to 90 physically. If I'm already, I'm 32 and I already is where I am right now. When I'm 90, I'm going to, I wouldn't live that long. I would be alive by the power of magic and it would be terrible. I would not want to live that long. That's true.

Let me keep my mind and let me decide when I've had enough physically yeah all right point to both of you i agree it's mind my it's mind or yeah being like physically there without being mentally there it's like what would be the point um can he get half a point he was wishy-washy about the mind he had like a semicolon at the end of that i was straight up mind all the way that was a decent qualifier are we debating points now are you really trying to debate with me right now you did have some like anecdotes towards you and there are some exceptions it's being realistic i heard a mind but that's what i heard i answered the question there was no wrong answers and butts lead to poo that's an extra point for bob god damn this is bullshit bob do you have a secret hunch about how you will die

uh yeah well it's definitely gonna be either like an illness or like i'm just gonna get up out of bed and collapse onto the floor and when i get to the hospital the doctor is gonna be like oh no no he's going with no explanation i'm just gonna I'm just going to have degraded so much that they're just going to be like, it's best to just let him pass. His cause of death was just, it was time. In 20 years, I can't imagine how I'm going to feel, but not good. What about you, Mark? Oh, well, I mean, I've done so much stupid shit throughout my life.

I know it's going to be my fault and doing something dumb. Like I will have reached a point in my life kind of past the window of being selected for any kind of space program or something. So I build a rocket in my backyard, spend all of my money, like no, no retirement savings, just blow it all in this one rocket, you know, Jeff Bezos style. And I'll just like, it's going to go up and it's going over and it's going right back down. I'll probably crash and die.

That's probably how it'll be. I want to go peacefully in my sleep, but based on recent experience i can't help but think that a semi is gonna find me in my house that's not even that recent that's like a year and a half ago now come on it feels like yesterday you're gonna wake up to some headlights and a horn you're just gonna be like no you found me it's the same truck he's like i tried to do it the first time but you live no points for anybody because whenever we're dead our points won't matter yeah you're true very wise mark name three things you and your partner appear to have in common appear to have in common appear to have in common uh appear to have it is this like based on appearance or just like guessing we have in

common as if i wouldn't know i guess if you know you have it in common or if you just think you do either way. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't have to be appearance only. Um, I mean, the thing is like Amy and I, we are quite different in a lot of ways. We have the same sense of humor, you know, like we, we, we like to, uh, just chill in the evenings, play video games or watch tv or something like that she's not a big gamer so i guess that's not really the case we love to travel um chill travel and laugh those that's three that's three i guess yeah when you put it like that no kind of like the establishment of our relationship is kind of built on our differences and because i love hearing her talk about things that i'm not personally interested

in but i like hearing about how passionate she is about them and i'd like to think she thinks the same way about the things i'm passionate about but i always like you know me i'm always like gushing into one thing or another so like i'm jumping from thing to thing and i obsess uh so i hope she likes to listen to it so those probably she at least She at least tolerates. She tolerates. Yeah, we're both tolerant. We both tolerate. What about you and Mandy, Bob? We love, I mean, this is your answer, I guess. We love like traveling, the experience of traveling together. I guess, I don't know.

I don't know how to say this. Good conversation. We both love talking about anything. Like, and because she's a scientist. She has all kinds of knowledge that I really don't share in education we we both love talking about anything like and because she's she's a scientist she she has all kinds of knowledge that i really don't share in or have any part of about like math and statistics and sciencey things but we'll talk about anything i guess we're both like smart enough and yeah i have my own experiences we'll just talk we'll just talk until like two or three in the

morning i don't know if that's a thing what that's called but we both love doing that. And we're both also really caring. It kind of comes out in different ways, but like I like doing things. My love language is action. And she is a very thoughtful, caring person. Like she's never, I don't think she's ever done anything without considering like how would this affect Bob or like what decisions should I make with him in mind? So like in different ways, we're both extremely caring toward each other. Okay.

Those are both good answers. I'll give it a wash. No points. Congrats. Okay. Somehow like a loss. Molly and I like to decompress together. We like to, I don't know, just at the end of the day, just chat about the day, the good and the bad.

And I think that's been, some of this really brought us closer together over the years. It's just we always gonna have that going on Uh, we like to laugh together watching stuff doing stuff and we just like to spend time. I don't know doing whatever together We don't have to be like actively playing a game together or something like that or actively talking about but there's like sometimes just sitting And enjoying each other's company watching a show or so on so forth tons of other stuff, too Those are some of the first things that come to mind though. Uh, no points for me either. It's a three-way tie. Congrats All right stuff too those are some of the first three that come to mind though uh no points for me either it's a three-way tie congrats all right uh bob what are you most grateful for in life grateful for not great for grateful for um it has to be one thing or something in general just for what

in your life do you feel most grateful i mean auger the wife you can only pick one oh this this sounds i don't know of a better way to say this it's gonna sound wrong initially but i guess the privilege and obviously like that has specific connotations with it but i mean more in the sense of the opportunities that i have had that i totally acknowledge are basically luck i'm very privileged and lucky that my parents were good parents and supportive privileged that they were able to offer me financial support in a lot of ways to get basically luck. I'm very privileged and lucky that my parents were good parents and supportive, privileged that they were able to offer me financial support in a lot of ways to get through like college and stuff. I'm lucky that I'm smart. I'm pretty clever. I've leaned on that a

lot. I'm just very lucky, I guess, privileged or lucky that things have gone well for me. I've had a lot of opportunities and done well. Bob's grateful for his white privilege mark what about you um i i would probably say um i'm grateful for like just my curiosity and drive to do things and this is a weird thing it's not as self-complimentary as it seems because my life is chaotic at times and i i do jump from things but if not this was like a sinusoidal wave you know a perfectly even sinusoidal wave my my life and curiosity and drive is like I don't know just like a thrash metal waveform of music just like all over the place the peaks and valleys are very good and when I get obsessed with something I like I like I love

that feeling and the things that i can accomplish with it throws so many things through the loop like it's complete chaos and i'm not fully blaming this on adhd or whatever but it's just like i have a very good sense of self and i have a good sense of curiosity and i don't know where i could trace that to a specific point in my upbringing or something like that uh you know okay i think that so having motivation and effort you're half korean privilege got it it could be the half german side you know you never know yeah you never know uh i gotta give the point to mark otherwise i might look racist so congratulations mark you get the point thank you thank you yeah no problem thank you this i'm sure this uh that question will age very well

for us um man i don't know just just lifestyle like getting to fall into youtube and twitch the podcast meeting molly uh technically i knew you mark but getting to know you better meeting bob all the friends we have and stuff i don't know just my entire life kind of changed uh a decade ago and um i'm very grateful for all of the you know the good and the bad that have come in that time span because i feel like it's been a pretty awesome ride and it's definitely helped me grow as a person um great guys that was the nine questions so we're uh fourth of the way there all right here we go number 10 um mark you're up first on this one if you could change anything about the way you were

raised what would it be no no i i anytime there's a question that's like would you change anything in your past i say no yeah because it made me who i am i don't know what in there like i could ask things like you assume that you'd end up in the same place would you change anything assume i'd be here today on this podcast still talking like everything was the same yeah you would just have fonder memories or i mean it wouldn't drastically change like something good in your life now would you change anything i'd still say no because i don't know how it would change other people you know that's fair like i i don't know that butterfly effect i don't want to mess with that i don't know how anything could go wrong like i saw that movie with ashton kutcher i don't want to strangle myself in the

womb after the horrible decisions that i would made i did too i saw the movie too and i still don't know where my car is dude i was gonna say i wish i invented apple computers i don't know that seemed like a pretty good path to take i don't think that's changing your upbringing though yeah what if i just like i i for some reason my first words as a baby was to my dad buy apple stock and then and then everything else was the same what i changed about how i was raised i would make my parents make me rich i mean i i also wouldn't change anything i do wish i'd had some time in life to get to know my dad or more time with like different family members that i lost early on i wouldn't change anything because i am happy with where i've gotten i think that loss helped me grow as a person but there's definitely moments that like it would have been nice to

Have a memory or to get to I don't know Accomplish some of the things that we've gotten to do in life and get to see how More of my family there for those moments stuff like that But I overall I wouldn't change it point to Bob for getting rich. All right good answer way That's ten questions down competitors. I figured I'll answer two people might care about my perspective. Maybe not to competitors. I figured I'll answer two. People might care about my perspective. Maybe not. Two? I didn't answer that one.

Yes, you did. Mark answered, and then you answered, and then you were like, alright, point to Bob for that answer. You said Apple stock. I thought that was your answer. Alright, Bob, go ahead and answer more. No, no, no. I don't want to now. It's over. It's past. I got my point. That's all I really care about,

really. I did. I gave you a point and you didn't even answer it. That's incredibly unfair. I think the point giving is biased. I don't want to say anything outright, but it seems like... I got a suspicion. I point to Bob for not pointing out the bias. Bob now has a two-point lead. I'm a really good host.

Nothing wrong with my hosting. Bob, you're first first you got the points and you get the answer first uh so we're gonna probably skip this one the prompt is take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as make it make it 15 seconds 15 seconds 15 seconds 15 seconds go i've got a timer i'm gonna start it uh uh give me a second all right uh boarded michigan hate the buckeyes thought i wanted to be a musician that was stupid thought i wanted to be a lawyer that was stupid didn't want to be a youtuber that's what i am now we do a podcast it turned out pretty good i guess

uh let's hang out beautiful mark all right 15 seconds all right and i'm looking at this clock and born hawaii went to ohio don't a thing. Got my hand stuck in a window. Remember that? Stuck my hand in a bee bush. Grabbed a wasp. Got bit by a snake. Fell off the stairs. Broke my head open.

Broke my arm. Grew up. Graduated college. Lost my virginity very late. I think I was 22 or something. And then started YouTube. Went through that. Got a lot of stuff there.

And here I am. You lose a point. That was a couple seconds over, but that was pretty good. Another point goes to Bob, because you lied about graduating college. I didn't say I graduated college. You did. Did I say that?

You did. You did. Did I say graduate college? Yeah, you did. You did. I thought I said went through college. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you did. Oh yeah, well, can we get a playback of graduated college?

Broke my arm, grew up, graduated college. There it is, graduated college. Oh no grew up the graduated college uh there it is graduated college oh no i think i said graduated high school in my mind high school comma college was after that uh-huh that's what i said uh-huh well for poor punctuation uh i guess we'll see in post i don't know i don't know gained friends, learned, tried hard. You're not a part of this. I want to be a part of things. You want to get through this?

You're like, oh, we're going to run out of time. You're spending all the time. No one's giving you points at all. I will give more points to Bob. Keep this up. I give myself points. All right. You know what?

30 points to me. Let's see if you guys top that. I'm going to host two in a row. Wow. Mark, you know what? 30 points to me. Let's see if you guys top that. I'm going to host two in a row. Wow. Mark, you're first for some reason. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? Like superpowers? Anything.

Quality or ability. Anything. Anything. I've always said probably like control over time is probably the best superpower. So I would go with that. Bob? I would want... What is this called?

The ability to... I don't know. Like willpower uh the ability to i don't know like willpower the ability to control my oh decisions more carefully like absolute unbreakable will that would be i mean it doesn't even have to be superhuman if it was just like pretty good for a human i have no willpower i don't do anything one night i'll go to maybe like i'll wake up at seven tomorrow i'm gonna get up i'm gonna just do a quick workout have a shower my alarm will go off at seven and i'll be like oh fuck that oh my god i don't even do it one time let alone starting new habits like just the ability to like stick to a plan and will myself to do the things i should be doing that'd be nice that would be pretty good yeah those are both good answers i'll get the point to mark so he won't whine uh for me x-rayray vision. I want the boobies. All right, let's move on.

Whoa. Whoa, man. Whoa. It's good that that doesn't exist. That's a speed round. Speed round. Come on, speed round. Okay.

Bob, you're first this time. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know? Assuming you could only ask one thing, I guess. The truth. Will I be happy with the decisions i made all right mark bobby and i i'm gonna say bobby probably yes i guess i don't know what decisions you're making that we don't know about i know i mean it just seems like it but like every time i choose anything i'm like

all right well i just have to live with this for my life yeah i hope it's good uh i probably would ask if i ever actually make it to space. I would ask. I would ask that. Okay. And if the answer is no, I think I could be, I think I could live with that. But then. So then you wouldn't live a happy life because you would know the answer is no. Well, it's not about living a happy life.

Obviously, that would be like, oh, that'd be sad. Because as you know, I build my life currently with the assumption that I'm going to space at some point. You guys know this. It's true. It's true. It is true. Oh, you're going to make it.

I'm kind of with Bob on this one. We bob the point i'd want to know like i'd probably ask about like you know i wouldn't want to know how long i live like knowing when my death is coming i wouldn't want to know but like overall did i live a happy life that would be nice to know irrelevant the answer's no i don't know what i would do i guess it'd be really crushing to find out the answer no that's a dangerous one yeah it sure is but you know whatever i guess i get to go to heaven no oh god is it too late yes no god what's the thing that eight ball says like uh the answer's unclear try again ask again later yeah um mark i think i know your answer for this one at least one of them but uh here's your question is there something you've dreamed of doing for a long time

and why haven't you done it yet go to space because i'm not jeff bezos wow because people don't listen to distractible hard enough we haven't been offered that podcast in space hey spacex if you got some sponsorship bucks you want to send our way we got a test astronaut for you huh i'm fine i don't really want to go to space but mark can have my ticket too he can go twice all right okay thank you uh what about you bob i have always wanted to own either a modern sports car or like a 67 mustang or. I love cars, but I don't know how to work on them. I like, I want it, but it's also, they're expensive and you gotta spend and it's all this thing

and it's not as convenient. But like, basically I'm too practical. My dream is to own a cool sports car someday. Probably an old one, an old sports car. All right. Point to Mark for dreaming even bigger. Do I like your dream, Bob? And for me, I don't know. I want to go to Hawaii, I like your dream bob and uh for me i don't know

i want to go to hawaii i guess i haven't done it because i don't know you've never been to hawaii never been never either i want to go dude let's go the only goal i really have in life is i at one point want to go see hawaii before i die dude hawaii is great seems cool and then we're going to korea you guys were i'm taking you to korea i want to do that so bad yeah we're gonna do it unless i have plans to go to Hawaii that weekend. We can hit it on the way. It's the same direction for the plane. Yeah.

Deal. Bob, you're up. What's the greatest accomplishment of your life? Tricking Mandy into marrying me. Beautiful. Mark, what about you? I hope I haven't done it yet. You know?

I mean, it's not like I haven't done stuff but i'm still going to bob because your answer is nothing no no that's fair i like your answer mine mine will hopefully be having kids but we haven't done that yet good kids not bad kids be good kids if you're listening to this in the future you better be good thankfully we're really early into this episode because we're almost halfway through the questions um all right cool speed rounds everybody you keep saying that you keep saying it what do you value most in a friendship one word what did you just say what do you value most in a friendship one word answer loyalty bob height even though i like that answer uh bob most treasured memory one time we were playing scategories which is a game where you're guessing words uh with my

grandmother at a christmas party and she couldn't remember the like a word and she got really flustered and she just went oh shit in front of everybody and it was the funniest shit i've ever seen in my life all right mark um there was this christmas where we got starcraft from my dad um and we weren't expecting anything. And it's not like we're we're ready for anything. But, you know, we had heard about Starcraft like the few months prior. And, you know, we didn't know if he could afford it and we didn't think we were going to get it. And then we got it and he just let us play that game.

Me and my brother all day. It was love that. I have two that are tied. Spending time with my grandparents on their pontoon down in Kentucky and just how happy Molly was on our wedding day and getting to see her glow um give yourself a point give yourself the point all right 10 points to me wait uh that's okay we do multiplying here um all right from that happy note let's go to mark what's your most terrible memory terrible memory probably my dad dying i would have to say that you know yeah it was just like a pretty like that whole night is just cemented in my brain so i'll say that um um uh probably the time where

i had a serious nerve uh thing in my back where i was i was incapacitated for like a week it's it's over a long period of time. But the pain, I remember the car ride. Manny took me to an urgent care and I could not stand it. Like I never felt pain like that in my life. I was screaming and crying. I was sitting in the waiting room of the urgent care with a bunch of people who were just like had colds or whatever.

Sitting there like actively crying, moaning out loud, like could not even fathom the pain. But then like that happened the day before we're supposed to move for a summer internship i had to drive a car i couldn't take my drugs to numb the pain because i had to drive a car like six hours it was just that whole experience was just the most pain i've ever felt it was unbelievable i ate it burned in my memory a lot of moments from that are burned in my memory yeah i mean i didn't know it's this at the time but i remember i have memories of the last night i had with my dad when he was dying and i didn't even realize that was happening and that's forever ingrained in my brain and uh i guess point to mark for us both having lost dads

and it's not always about what you went through bob it's about who we lost what okay my dad if give me a point how many points is that worth uh we'll talk after the show for legal reasons all right uh oh bob you're up if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly would you change them about the way you're now living why i'm fucking gone dude i'm out of here mandy and i are selling our belongings and we are going to do everything we've ever talked about seeing the world well she might want to keep some of that money and stuff because she does not necessarily die. She gets to move on. Oh, no.

Well, I'll take a huge life insurance policy and I'll die tragically. No, I mean, I don't know if she's in for all this, but we're doing everything. If I'm dying in a year, I have one year to see all of the things I haven't seen and do everything with Mandy that we've ever talked about. Because we have all these plans, places we need to go and things we want to experience experience but you don't get to do them all at once we got jobs I mean she has a real job I have this but we're busy you know and uh we would do that we do as much of that as possible Mark dude Unison is two can you imagine like oh my god that's the only way because Bob and I weren't invited to that it doesn't matter shut up like imagine like a year video and it's just like even harder that last live stream i would have record-breaking live stream people see do i just blow up at the end of it just like all right

goodbye well you know oh and then the screen goes black you would take the whole platform down with you for dying on stream i mean you know i hate to say this but i'm not the first person i wouldn't have been the first person to do that man oh this is tough uh no points i like both your answers that would be crazy i know right it would be so insane like if you just ignore all the moral questions surrounding that that exists that would be nuts uh all right mark you're up first lie to me what does friendship mean to you didn't we answer this question apparently not well i mean okay so i said that's what you value most in a friendship it's what does friendship mean to you oh it means you would do anything for that other person anytime anywhere doesn't matter like if you have a true friend like you're there for them period all right good answer bob oh that's kind of like what I was going to say, so I'll just freeball it.

Friendship is like a big boat, and you're both on it, and don't sink the boat, because there's only one life vest. Beautiful. So you'd better work together and care for each other, because that boat is all you've got. I'm actually giving you both. I was going to give the point to Mark, because you said it was his answer, but I liked your answer, too, so you both get a point. Congratulations.

I think we're at Mark now, right? Yes. bob bob what roles do love and affection play in your life uh i mean that's a pretty personal question i don't know if this is right for that i mean that's how i that's basically how i show people they matter to me i'm not very good at like remembering your birthday or i'm not like a very thoughtful person in terms of planning but when i show person love and affection if i do something or if i'm there for you or whatever like that's the main way that i communicate like you are important to me and our friendship or our relationship means something so that's pretty essential to me all right mark same z's give us both great point to bob on. Same, we're on a boat. Love is like a boat. We're on a boat together. Two points to Bob.

You're sticking this shit very fast. We're on a, what's the thing besides a boat? Airplane. We're on an airplane. Only one parachute. It's going down. You got to make it work. All right, point to Mark for acknowledging that his chance of winning is going down.

Mark, you're first here. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items. Of you? Yeah, actually. You know what? Yeah, well, Wade is the one we're trying to fall in love with. Your great sense of humor.

You're a good friend. You're always there for the people that you care about you give more than you get and like huge ass enormous ass incredibly pro fund badonk all right that's five points or five truths bob tell me how great i am yeah no uh uh yeah uh mark kind of said all the ones I was going to say. I'm just going to pick from the B list. Basketball. Tall. Uh-huh. You big house, right? Oh, I don't know. I don't know if I have the record for that, but I'm trying to think of stuff outside of what Mark said. You're always very sincere, I guess, which doesn't seem like it should be a big thing. But like, I've known people and had friends or like roommates or whatever, where even if you come to them and you're like, I have a serious problem, like they're just

completely fake or not interested. Like you're very sincerely interested when people talk to you about whatever it is. You're not selfish or picky about that.'re generous with uh what you have i think all of us are pretty lucky and in you're very generous and you like to include as many friends as possible and you're you're always down to share you're again not selfish uh you really pull off the shaved head look i think it's a pretty good look i like these five items i think you might have gone above and beyond so i'll give you five points too he just he had two of the same one i don't even know how many i did six didn't you say like you're you're you give and then you're generous they were different all right mark give me one bonus one for an extra point you're tall he was unselfish in different ways wait wait what did

you say mark i said he was telling me damn i do like that all right i'll give you the bonus point bobby's still up by one what happened because i gave him a whole bunch of points earlier whenever you were like you give me a point but somehow bob still has more points than that round than me no not that round just okay okay all right that's fair that's fair okay cool all right in general i'm up by one all right all right um you're not gonna say anything nice about us you put chime in an answer and all those other ones but this one you guys get over i was thinking about no you guys have always included me from the time to drunk minecraft and so on and so forth whenever like you know i didn't know you all that super well um that invitation that inclusion has always felt meant a lot to me uh compassion and generosity bob and i had a really really nice talk one night

when we were at a convention i think it was when we were louisville um we stayed up till like six in the morning just chatting about life and stuff and uh just relating things and kind of it brought us a lot closer and i've always really cherished that memory uh mark whenever i had nothing was really struggling all the times you've helped out with like you know including us and sponsored things or i mean hell you bought my very first computer that i was able to do any kind of content and stuff on uh keeping us in your life despite the fact that you could probably record videos or make content with literally anyone in the world but you still could buy way better friends yeah you you come back to us for some reason that's always meant a lot to me you guys are really

funny getting to do this you know it's our job but getting to genuinely laugh every time we hang out and do stuff um makes my my day better makes my life a lot better the amount of caring you guys show to me and each other and others the creativity i'm so envious of the creativity you guys have i feel like i'm not creative at all sometimes i'll have like a good one-liner or you know i'll have a topic i find interesting or whatever else but like listen to bob tell stories like the fridge or whatever else whenever he gets fired up about something there's just nothing better and mark when you're passionate about a subject and you just dive into it and it's just amazing to listen to that passion you can have for things uh it's just an amazing quality and uh i'm gonna

stop now before i get teary-eyed because you guys actually suck oh that's so sweet yeah we can we can fuck after the episode's done but we gotta power through this that's almost a perfect ending point oh okay well we got through 22 we only get to 22 we got through 22. Oh, we only got to 22? We got through 22 of the 36 questions. Yeah. Let me find one final thing here. Yeah, we don't want to end on a positive here. Nah, I can't have this lovey-dovey. No, not another question.

Just I didn't know if there was something at the end of this to tell us what it all meant. But I guess it means that... I guess to sum it all up, I can see how answering these questions and going through this could lead to people making those connections, because typically a lot of this stuff is stuff that either goes unsaid, like what we just talked about, about each other, or it's just stuff that you either take for granted or don't think to bring up

in normal conversation. Because a lot of times, like, you know, a first date, you're like, hey, what's your job? Do you like sports? Stuff like that. Yeah.'re like hey what's your job do you like sports stuff like that yeah it talks about what's important yeah actually opening up to somebody about what you feel about different things like letting them know yeah my grandma means the world to me or you know i would love to have more time with my dad but i wouldn't change anything because i'm happy with where i've

gotten in life and the lessons i've learned like those are things that resonate and i can see how this could lead to people feeling that connection more because it's forcing you to connect almost rather than skirting around the real questions because you're afraid of like well i don't want to you know jump in and show too much too soon what if they reject me it's like this is forcing you to dive into that stuff whoa what are you listening to this for wait who's talking you know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah. Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294.

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Any final thoughts on the study or Valentine's Day or love? Who won at love today? Who wins the love who loved the best loved hardest well mark did not allow me to ask any more questions and as i said after the last question all right or he was losing by one point to bob so wait give me a chance give me a chance literally cut me off with bob winning come on i asked you for bonus statements i gave you every opportunity here and you rejected it. So Bob is our winner. Wow.

He really did try and leave you an opening there, Mark. I did my very best to allow him to have any chance at anything and he did not take it. You flushed Wade's love down the drain just like you flush your poopies. You're assuming a lot about me. But because you mean so much to me, I'll give you half a point, Mark. So now you only lose by half a point. Okay. That's fair. Okay. Congrats, Bob. We can still have a three-way later.

Ooh, yeah. From Skyline or like sex? Both. I would go for both, yeah. Feels good to win. Well, congrats, Bob. You're our winner. Do you have any victory speeches to say before we have our fun time? Feels good to hold's uh beating heart in the palm of my hand i really won this with my witty lies and my delightful sounding half truths i really tricked wade into falling for me so deeply i look forward to our lives together separate but together lives you noticed that i said that and uh yeah i know i just really appreciate you uh being putty in my hands you know thanks well it was my pleasure to host. I hope you all had a safe, fun, and probably very sexual Valentine's Day out there. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. No, no. Mmm. Mmm.

Good food, good meat, getting the bed and fuck, you know? As they say. Mark, any, uh, any closing words as the guy who literally chose to lose? Uh, that's my last word great thanks for listening to distractible everybody if you'd like to find us individually you can find mark at mark applier pretty much everywhere you can find bob facebook.com slash my skirm or my skirm on various other platforms i'm wade minion 777 or lord minion 777 whatever you'll find me if you look uh thanks for listening to distractible we are on youtube now we have merch we have all kinds of fun things i'm not going to tell you any of those links though because i don't have them memorized maybe those guys do you know where to find stuff just use the

google it's out there there you go don't we have a website no we got a website yeah what is that distractiblepodcast.com distractiblepodcast.com that's it it's probably linked down there or something buy merch download the podcast everywhere. Make us blow up and be the number one podcast in the world. I don't know. That'd be cool. Again. Anyway, until Bob's hosting next week.

It's store.distractablepodcast.com. Store. There you go. Anyway, happy Valentine's Day. Podcast out.