Distractible - The Masks We Wear

Episode Date: February 20, 2023

On a more serious note, the guys discuss the metaphorical mask, which social situations we put on masks, and whether those masked versions of us are truly us... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A fresh voice can speak to you and open your ears and your mind to new views and new perspectives. The call of the wild, a crescendo of culture. Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at michigan.org. So let's be clear. When it comes to shipping internationally,

can I provide trade documents electronically? Mm-hmm. The answer is FedEx. Okay, but what about estimating duties and taxes on my shipments? How do I find all the... Also FedEx. Okay, but what about estimating duties and taxes on my shipments? How do I find all the... Also FedEx. Impressive. Is there a regulatory specialist I can ask about? FedEx.

Oh, but let's say that... FedEx. What? FedEx. Thanks. No more questions. Always your answer for international shipping. FedEx, where now meets next.

Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2020 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, FedEx, where now meets next. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built-in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $26767 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details,

visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible, a Wood Elf production. This week, the boys plumb the depths of the human condition. Charisma King Wade admits he plays the clown for the crowds. Mark can mimic

an asshole to enrich his allies. Daddy Bob's favorite self is the one he sees in the eyes of his wife. From social chameleons to stoic stances. Yes, it's time for The Masks We Wear. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello everybody, welcome back to Distractible. I'm today's host, Wade. If you're new here, this is the podcast where one of us hosts, there's three of us, I'll introduce in just a moment. The other two compete for points. The winner, who has the most points I guess at the end, hosts the next episode. So as host, I'm also judge and I'm joined by my co-hosts, Mark and Bob. Hey, boys.

Hello. Hello. How are y'all doing on this fine afternoon, I guess? Pretty good. Well, technically, the episode releases at midnight, so there's someone listening at, like, 12.01 right now, and they're like, It's the middle of the night. I work every night.

Late night shift. Every single night in the afternoon. The graveyard shift. 11 p.m. Allow me to destroy the illusion we don't record when you listen. No. It's actually a live stream that we do

starting at 11 p.m. Sunday night. We finish it at midnight and then it goes live. No editing, nothing. It's actually a perpetual live stream. We just say the same thing in the same way again and again. And every time someone hits play, we have to redo the episode then and there. How do we pull off people that have two devices that put up two different episodes of the podcast and maybe like a YouTube video or Twitch stream at the same time?

We have an array of microphones in front of each of us. They're all slightly differently delayed. And so even if you're listening to the live stream on the exact same feed on multiple sources, it sounds different. It sounds like it's different recordings. Yes, yes. Don't break the illusion. sounds like it's different recordings yes yes don't break the illusion no it's it's a quote recording that you can stream on demand yeah right yeah well there you have it gentle listeners i guess well other than being definitely very real

with our audience how you guys been i don't know if i said how are you guys been but i meant to say how have you guys been losing my voice a little bit so apologies for the struggles i did not notice excellent that thing they say about when you have a baby you don't get to sleep anymore uh that's that's very true still we're sorry my computer just made an alarm sound that's great i have been getting stronger and stronger and stronger every day my muscles have been growing bigger and huger and more effortfulness to doing this why you got another calendar or only fans thing coming up no no i just uh i'm in the last stretch of this stupid diet that uh my trainer has me on. Stupid trainer. Is this the same one you told me about whenever I saw you like a month ago?

I don't know. When did we see each other? I guess it was a couple months ago. I don't know, around Christmas. You were doing the all, I think it was all meat. Right, it's the same one. I'm still doing it. It's not all meat.

Like it's just high protein. Oh bro, it it's not all meat like it's just uh high protein right now bro like no not keto like it's just high protein as low carb as possible and that's it oh bro you know hyper keto i don't know if that's true it's just like justin weekend keto bro yeah exactly man it's it's like i have fruit on occasion that's basically it and then mostly just like as much protein as possible. And that's really all I've been doing. Look, I don't want to talk about the diet, but I've never missed rice and spaghetti more in my life. I can't wait for it to be over in exactly four days now. I'm going to have a donut and a hamburger and then I'm going to have spaghetti and I will shit myself to

death immediately afterwards. But I'm so ready for it. God, you know, results, I can't deny. I joined the two-plate club. I can bench press probably over 225 right now because I joined that on an incline bench doing 225 for the first time. And then just today I was doing 190. I did like 30 reps at 190 and I'm like, I can probably do heavier.

But my God, I'm so hungry and tired that's fair that's impressive though when it's over in in 87 hours who's counting who's got a timer set on their phone i don't know but who's got a dozen donuts scheduled to arrive the moment i'm allowed to eat that i don't know no i really think that if I did suddenly eat a dozen donuts, I might actually end up in the hospital again because my guts would either seize up or they would just go, go, go, and then it would be solid donut.

Oh, no, dude, you would blast off into space. A dozen donuts and, like, a pint of milk and then put your helmet on because you're going to the moon, brother. That's how you got your poop powers. That's it. That's the way. Nice throwback. helmet on because you're going to the moon brother that's how you got your poop powers that's that's it that's the way nice throwback yeah i do intermittent keto where i eat meat when i want and then i eat other things when i want no that's yeah i'm on the trendy thing too i do intermittent

fasting where i just eat whatever i want whenever i want and then in between there i'm intermittently fasting because i'm not eating. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Wade, I love how your brain works because I know Bob said, yo, you doing keto? And I said, no, I'm not. Yo, you doing hyper keto?

And I go, ha ha, no. And then Wade only takes in, ah, he's doing keto. Ha ha. Well, no, I knew you weren't doing keto, but I figured I would just throw it in there as part of the bit. Uh-huh, sure. sure yeah that's not the only information you took in there he listened this time mark you can trust him no i heard the thing about the donuts i'm with you i'm listening uh-huh i asked the question of course i cared to listen of course but anyway i'm almost done

with that i'm very very strong i cannot wait to eat donuts and be weak again that's what i want great so you're not gonna try any more weird diets after this, right? You're just going to be like, Amanda, this was great. Got strong. Time to go back to being happy, right? Look, I feel my trainer keeps saying, like, no, no, keep at it. You'll become fat adjusted. And I'm like, I want to become carb adjusted.

I want that in my life. And he's like, oh, no, you're so close to glory and i'm like i hate everything every time i eat food and this is like i want to enjoy it so you don't get to eat any like good sauces or anything so what are you eating like unseasoned meats i mean salt and pepper just chicken breast salt and pepper chicken breast but you don't get any sauces or i mean it's not gonna you get cheese i taught all the cheese i want but i really try to stick to this light string cheese you know and then i salami sometimes and then i went to fogo and that was very specifically said you didn't want to talk about it but yeah exactly i just uh i just curious how miserable it's been. My parents did this thing once

where it was like one of those very tightly restricted low calorie diet things where I swear to God all they got to eat was powdered soup mixes. It was like the saddest thing was like, all right, it's dinner time. Heat up a couple quarts of water and dump this powdered dirt mix into it.

That's the one good thing about this diet is i can eat whatever i want i can eat until i'm full there's no real i don't count my calories or anything like that but but still it's just like it's just the joy is gone i have no joy because you can't really enjoy any side dishes. I mean, are you avoiding vegetables and like sweets and carbs alike? I'm not like strictly avoiding vegetables. I get like some celery carrots. Like if I have lettuce wraps all the time It's just like trying to minimize carbs in the same keto way, but just like as much protein as possible That's literally the only rule just eat until you're full but only eat Try to eat things that are protein-based Have you tried getting a steak with cheese on it?

Instead of using buns or lettuce, you use two chicken breasts? Dude, I... As the bun? Oh, are you talking about the KFC Slam Jammer? Is that a thing? Oh, yeah, from that 1864 movie. Everything is already done. I have no ideas.

Look, all other health concerns aside i i can't wait to be done well fair enough and i'm really glad we didn't talk about your diet thanks yeah anytime man what diet am i on uh not keto protein hey that's pretty good two points to you thank you i'll take those and stash them away in the vault so currently i guess i'm winning this episode that hasn't started yet with two points go me stashed them away in the vault. So currently, I guess I'm winning this episode that hasn't started yet with two points. Go me. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours

of clinically proven odor protection free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Best Western made booking our family beach vacation a breeze.

And it felt a little like... a breeze, and it felt a little like... Life's a trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Ooh, French lavender soy blend candle. I told you HomeSense has good gift options. Hmm, well, I don't know. Mom's gonna love it.

She'll take one sniff and be transported to that anniversary trip you took to San Tropez a few years ago. Forget it. She complained about her sunburn the whole trip. It's only $14. $14? Now that's a vacation I can get behind. Deal so good, everyone approves. Only at HomeSense. I figured that today we would talk about something I don't think we've talked about before,

but if we have, then have fun, subreddit, destroy me. It started with the idea of talking about lying, and then it kind of grew from there into flat-out pretending. Like, I don't think I do this as much. I'm sure I still do it to some extent, but do you boys remember the days, or do you still have quote-unquote masks? Like, you go to an interview, and you act prim and proper for the interview. You display your professional mask. You hang out with your friends, you cut back,

you're relaxed. You're just finally you. Maybe you hang out with like family you don't see all the time. So you've got a different version of like your not professional mask, but it's still not fully you. You're kind of like holding back some of you. So maybe mask is the wrong word, but I feel like that's what the term is, right? No, masking is the term. And it's actually a term that's used a lot with people who have autism. And they basically consider a mask to how they navigate the neurotypical world around them because of social pressure. Whereas it's like but i think in the the general speaking term of like having a mask probably everybody has some form of mask like people say in a different friend group they they behave differently than with a different friend group um or something

like that those could all be like i guess sub types of masks what are some of your boys masks do you guys have masks that you use or that's a fucking used in the past question it is it is but that's something i just figured we haven't really talked about or explored because it's not necessarily that you're trying to lie or hide yourself it's just almost sometimes a lot of times for me it comes as like a comfort thing it's like if i don't know you that well then i'm not gonna be my full self it's like i won't i won't want you to just think i'm a psychopathic idiot so therefore i'm going to you know display some of the intelligence and education i've learned over the years try to use a good wide vocabulary not make everything like

but like i kind of am with you guys you could also ask with us a little no no no it's fine i'd really happy to be myself with you guys you're welcome you could you could you know you could use your intelligence listen the listeners listen listeners the listening listeners love uh intelligent wade tell you what subreddit goes absolutely out of its mind every time you talk philosophy and whatever and you remind them that you did go to college for something very intelligent and it takes a really smart person to be as dumb as i am but man is it more fun being dumb so keep wishing subreddit or is that the mask i don't that's a good question i don't know that is a good question do you feel all right host let me ask you some questions so because

it's definitely i feel like between the three of us and we hang out in pairs of two and you know we've we've hung out in a lot of different situations i feel like we're pretty comfortable with each other after everything we've been through so i feel like i've seen you really just being yourself without worrying at least without worrying very much at all about like you know putting up a mask or or changing how you're behaving. Like what, what do you feel is the purest version of you? Is it Wade who makes fart jokes and, you know, puns and stuff all the time? Is it, is it smart Wade? What is your least modified version? Cause I feel like that's a hard question. I think it's a combo. It's a combination. I don't think one is more me than the other. I think I've had conversations with people that'll start off as something like really

serious. And then like you make a joke, you go off like we do on the podcast, right? We'll go off and have a tangent, like laugh, make some penis jokes or whatever. Then we come back and like have some more serious conversation. I like both versions of me. I think both versions are me. I think it just depends. It's almost like I like staying home and watching TV.

But every now and then I want to go to a theme park or i want to go you know do this or do that or go to a certain restaurant and both versions of me are true i hate going out but also sometimes i need to get out of the house it's like sometimes i want to sit back and think and like have an intellectually stimulating conversation about philosophy or you know whatever else it might be and other times it's like i want head empty boob mouth i'm glad you said more work head empty boob mouth because i i have almost an equally good time both ways i think there's a lot less stress and like exhaustion that comes from just being dumb and silly and i also find that the bigger the crowd

around me, the more like I'm inclined to be like silly and goofy because I love attention. And I feel like a good way to break tension with people like groups that are comprised of introverts, extroverts is to be the fool. And then everyone else is more comfortable being themselves because it's like, well, at least I'm not that idiot. So yeah, I'll talk to you. And everyone else starts having almost a better time if someone else in the room is already the fool so i'm happy to take that role because it feels like everyone else starts having a better time and then i can kind of like either disappear or tone it down and then like the ice is broken and people are just chilling and having a good time at that point that actually that

touches on something i was actually hoping to talk about because one thing you said was that it's exhausting sometimes and it can definitely be exhausting. That's one of the common indications of a mask like for neurodivergent people. But one of the things that I do a lot and people don't really understand why I do this. Well, not a lot of people. Some people have started to clue in on why. In fact, there was one person on a stream that I was on that finally understood why I do this. But when I go on someone else's stream, I act kind of like a douche. I act kind of like an asshole. I'm antagonistic. I poke at people and generally I make myself look bad. And I may have

mentioned this at some point, but I don't think I have. But I do that because it makes the other person look so good by comparison. Yeah, I've done that too. I'm their guest. I am a guest on their show. And also it's a constant source of conversation. So anytime they go to me for something, there's constantly banter. There's a reason to have conflict and there's a reason to keep viewers engaged and stuff like that. So I'll play, not necessarily the fool, but the whatever you would call the fool that's also an asshole. I guess sometimes the fool, yes. But yeah, that would be an example of a performative mask, I think. In these situations where performance is a completely

foreign thing to most people in their everyday life, outside of normal social circumstances, there's not many times when you need to perform. so we as entertainers kind of have like a different experience with masks in general because performance is a key component of what we do and it can spill over into our social circles because those skills don't just go away it's weird though because for me being extroverted like i am truly energized and feel compelled to be goof like i feel like whenever there is a group of people i'm not trying at all like maybe i am to some extent but like i i do not feel exhausted being the silly goofy person at the party but there are times where someone's talking about something especially like when philosophy morals something like that comes up or sports come up and like i am so gleeful and

eager to jump in and chat about that stuff too someone starts talking football and it's like i'm there i am so there girlfriend let's talk about it like whatever let's do it i am ready i know so much about so many different things so many different teams i used to play fantasy football all the time i got to learn all the different teams and players back then and i've sort of kind of kept up with it i watch enough games like even right now i'm going off on a tangent that i don't necessarily have to go on to because it's something i'm passionate about and care about. Philosophy and morals the same way. People talk about the trolley problem, you know, which is a very common, well-known one.

But there's so many other examples, killing versus letting die and other things too, that are just fascinating to me. How law is somewhat based on morality but also can't fully be because it has to apply to the masses. And there's just so many things that intellectually stimulate me and I want to talk about. But also, somebody starts like, I was at Disney recently and we had this bit going on where we would just like pull the Alan Grant. We would look at something, like take off our sunglasses or pretend to take off our sunglasses and go, my God, at like everything. It was really stupid. And we took every song we could think of, literally every song we could think of the whole weekend and replaced lyrics in the song with spiders somewhere so like and i will always love spiders like you know the whitney houston dolly parton song the blink-182 song where the spiders catching things eating

their inside like we replaced like every word with spiders and it was really stupid there was nothing actually funny about it but i was having a blast being stupid and doing that too. And it's like, is one of those the masks or do I just have like a dichotomy of existence where those are both me and anything in between are the masks? I don't know. I mean, yes, I think that ties into the idea that we have different things that we adopt personalities and behaviors in certain situations. And I think it's more of a trained response than just the fact that we choose a certain mask. That's just the response that we get from that group of people and what seems fun. But I don't think it's a mask if it's effortless. You know what I mean? If it's more in terms of like something you truly enjoy, I don't think that's the matter. I think that's who you really are. We as people very rarely show who we are, especially

to strangers, but even amongst close friends, we hide some things for ourselves. When we are completely alone, I think that's when we are our truest self. But even then, when there are obligations that you have to do, like I have a lot of work that I need to do, you know, and I only have myself to motivate it to. So like, is that a mask of me trying to push myself to do something I don't necessarily want to do. And so I guess even our personalities, our consciousness might, our free will might be this like adaptation and adopting a mask of some sort to behave in a world because our expectations of work aren't really our own. There are other people have put them upon or there are certain standards or you're trying to do

something that someone has already done, you know know uh whatever project it's like an evolution of something that came before so i like it's it's the there's so many lines that you could draw and each of them gets shoved and moved by every other line so i don't know bob i know we haven't really opened up a whole lot of room for just like throwing out stories or anything else bob you stay out of this you put your mask on you sit in the corner you put on your i do want to give you the podium if you want to say there's this mask with no mouth hole you stay over there this topic is always interesting to me because it always it thinking about this as it applies to myself always makes me kind of wonder if i'm okay i guess because i i don't feel like there's one version of myself or my, you know, my group of behaviors that feels like it's my default one. Okay. I feel like with every person and mix of people, there's a different

version of myself that comes out. And I could not tell you, it definitely doesn't feel like when I'm alone that that's, you know, purely myself either, because there's a lot of I don't know how common this is, but I think it's pretty common. I have a lot of self deception. I don't know, delusion about, you know, things, things I like or don't like about myself, how I view myself is not purely objective. I have strong feelings about different aspects of my personality, my vices, my, my issues, things I wish I did better or differently, behaviors I wish I didn't have that are just sort of things that come out of me that, you know, make me feel bad about myself. I don't feel like I have like an unmasked version of myself. Who's the real me.

I feel like I exist in context. And so I guess it, it gives me kind of a nebulous sense of self. Maybe it's just how I, I explain it, or maybe it's just how I conceptualize it. Maybe it's not that different from how everyone else feels. Cause I'm'm there's no way I'm that special. I'm just another person and I'm not that, you know, I'm not some aberration of I am different and unique and everyone else is the same. But it just feels crazy to me. The idea that masks aren't your real self, that you mask, you know, you mask your personality in different ways in different contexts, which I definitely do in, in contexts where you have to, because you have to deal with people like in, in the context of a job, in the context of school, you have to deal with people.

You can't get away from your boss. You can't get away from, you know, your professor in your class that you're in or your teacher or whatever. Like there's, there's ways you have to deal with interacting with other people who either don't like you or wouldn't potentially like you or who you don't like. And you have to just, you know, deal with that.

But like even I would say my purest form of myself is probably when I'm with just Mandy because we have a pretty strong relationship and are very comfortable being very honest with each other about the world and about each other and like that feels like the i don't know my favorite version of myself but it still feels like a mask to me because that's a way i behave only in the context of me and mandy together and it's not the same if other people are around it's not the same if our parents or other family

members are there even other people who i'm insanely close with who i might also feel very you know very un unedited around it's not the same type of you know open personality that it is so it just makes me feel crazy i don't know does that sound crazy i mean it doesn't sound crazy yes no but he's the judge. He would know. He declared you crazy. Oh. You're not so. I don't think it does. I think that there's probably a difference between wearing a mask and being somewhat restrained.

I think that we know family and friends in our life, a lot of them well enough to know like what to say, what not to say. I don't think that's necessarily a mask when you're just showing some kinds of restraint whereas with your like significant other usually every thought or everything you have it's like okay well i can share this with them and it won't cause any issues whether it's like something personal like oh man this wart on my ass has been really itchy today but i better not tell anyone else about it or you know stuff weird things like that not that i have a word of masks i don't but gotta get my anti-wort mask yeah but i gotta lay up my my body shaming mask on tight but i was trying to think of like situations where i do feel like i'm wearing a mask versus times where it's just either different aspects of my personality shining or showing some restraint either for the other person's benefit or

just because it's something it's like well i just don't want to show this to everybody it's not necessarily a mask to not want to share like I don't know details of something you have going on like a hemorrhoid or something I don't know so times I can think of that like I would wear a mask would be like at work at an interview when I'm meeting somebody I don't know for the first time like I'm trying to think if conventions like whenever we've done like fan meetups is it really a mask i don't feel like it's necessarily a mask it's not really a fake version of me i say yes even when i'm tired i try well i guess maybe it's different for you guys if you're introverted for me as an extrovert like i feel like i'm still purely me whenever i'm meeting fans but i am

trying to keep up the energy even on days where I'm exhausted because we've done a couple of them where we went for hours and hours and hours and hours and by like four hours of sleep after going out to a bar and drinking and then you know meeting people for like 10 to 15 hours even as an extrovert that's a lot oh yeah so is that a mask i mean i guess to some extent right because you're masking that you're just exhausted and as much as you want to meet everybody are you just gonna answer your own questions are we gonna have a chance here what is what is this i want to share my thoughts and get your guys thoughts you can agree you can disagree is that a mask well in a way it is if you think about it my brain works, I'll put on my mask of stupidity.

Yeah, please do. What does even the mask? Please tell me. What does the work mean? No, just put on your mask of shut up and let us. Because I keep going like, yeah, oh. I think, no, apparently not time. All right, asshole.

What do you have to say? Throw it out there. Oh, you already said it. Because I don't need to say anything else. Why don't I just be reinterpreting? And then you're going to deduct points for me. gonna deduct points for me because well that's what i said i was like well you didn't give me a chance you know what three points for you thank you you're welcome now reaffirm what i said or disagree with me damn it i mean it is it is a mask it away

because like there's a certain it's it's a social expectation that's like a strange one it's a unique circumstance that not many people are going to experience meeting and greeting people it is in a sense kind of weird you have this entire line of 500 people that are all watching you waiting their turn to meet you and yes it's a normal quote-unquote conversation that you have one-on-one but you have to like try to make sure every single 30 second sprint that someone has, because that's about how much time is allotted or else you're going to be there for like just people do the math in your head about like there's 500 people at a convention that

want to see you. They each get a minute a piece. That would be 500 minutes to get through the entire line, which would be unfeasible. Like that. That is what is that? Eight hours, eight and a half hour uh eight and a third hours yeah that would take eight hours to get through 500 people and and it's like we have millions like millions of people across the world of course like it's spread out but at a convention

you know there can be tens of thousands of people not that all want to meet me or anything like that but it's like it's untenable to get through those people so when you have those time allotments which is usually like 30 seconds you gotta like make sure that you're you seem even if you're tired or anything but at least try to do your best to convey that you are happy to see them which can be as authentic or real or as not real as the individual creator who is there for me and i'm sure you guys it was real but exhaustion is a thing so we can't even let them see anything or else they're going to start going like you look tired and we're going like that's not

helping you shush we're not tired be happy smiling put on your mask shut your fucking mouth can I sign something for you you guys have heard it many times. It's like, oh, you guys look so tired.

And we're like, no, shush, we're fine. Enjoy the moment. Don't waste it with a comment like that. We do have a naturally antagonistic relationship with our audiences to some extent. At least I know you do and I do. Especially my Twitch streams. YouTube a little bit less so. But like streaming, I very much love being an antagonist to my streams.

Especially when I win. How many times are you fighting your stream? Every i see i see more so than any game i play the antagonistic relationship of those little shits versus me is the number one thing that goes on yeah well they deserve it wow they do uh they're great i love you guys should check us out you guys listen to us the audience that he's insulting right now. You should listen to this podcast. You should. So you would say for you, you feel like it's a mask.

I think absolutely, because there's no way in human evolution or society that it's such a bizarre social circumstance. We have done it a lot. But someone going into that for the first time is going to like not be in any way an expert at it. I don't think we're an expert. It's just like it's such an out there thing when it comes down to what I consider to be masks. It's trying to imagine how you should be anytime that you have to imagine how you should be in a situation instead of just going into it. And most of the time now I just go into things, just trying to be more like myself. But I think for the vast majority of people out there,

if they have to imagine how they should be in their expectations, either that the outside world puts on them or they put on themselves, it could be from either. They have to kind of fabricate a set of rules for them to adhere to, to behave properly in this circumstance and come out of it with the most social benefit possible because it's a reward system too it's like reward based you want to come out of something feeling good feeling like you did it right you accomplish something even if it's like not a meet and greet any of its job interviews something like that you want to come out of it you know the rules you've set the rules in your mind you've constructed the mask out of rules and i think that's what the mask is and you slap it on your face and then you walk in there and

apply the rules that you set in whether or not you practice those rules and are instinctively good at adhering to those rules is up to how long you have been practicing that and that can be exhausting because it's a juggling act okay how do you feel about it bob i mean hard agree we're talking about a really like mark keeps saying we're talking about a really weird version of a social experience that is not yeah not a lot of people are going to understand well they might understand but not have personal experience with being you know in that situation but for me it feels like a character i try and be authentic when we're doing like this recording and other content stuff but it's definitely still a little bit of you know i i play it up it's a bit of a character it's a bit of a mask i guess it's fair to say to so that i am the most outgoing and

maybe snarky judgmental hopefully funny version of myself i can be when we're trying to be entertaining but when we're meeting the people in person, it's a strong character. Because even though I don't think anyone who wants to meet us in person, just as a fan, would be offended if we were completely real. You know, I think they would maybe appreciate that, some people. But, you know, that's not what anyone is there for. You don't pay for a ticket to an event so you could meet someone you look up to or who you find entertaining and for them to be like man i'm really run down today it's great to meet you though what you know you want to meet the character that you are a fan of you want to meet the band whose album you listen to on repeat because it's it's like a

snapshot they want to see a snapshot of the version of us that they enjoy and that we offer so yeah it's extremely taxing for me and it's like a very thick character to put on to make sure that anyone who's there and not to say that it's insincere because it is still like part of who i am but it's not how I feel all the time and I'm frequently so exhausted when we do stuff like that because for me I need I need time where I'm like alone with headphones on listening to music that's not easy to come by in the setting of you know a convention or other settings where we're meeting people in that way so I don't know yeah I've always felt weird about that because I don't want to i don't

ever want to feel like i'm being insincere with people no and especially not someone who's like a fan who has paid money to see like our tour or you know is is at this event for that reason especially but nobody wants to watch a video or listen to a podcast where i mope because i'm tired i do mention it a lot i don't know if you guys remember, I have a baby now. What? And it is exhausting. It always catches me off guard. Yeah.

But yeah, like, you know, nobody wants to hear you mope about how tired you are. Not to say it doesn't matter, but a little bit doesn't matter. You got to have the right context for that to be the thing to focus on. To that point, yeah.

Probably the greatest mask, well, greatest as in not the best but just like the biggest in my life the coolest that coolest not quite depends on who you're asking a mask that i've ever uh worn in my life is markiplier like more so than just like it's a character or like i'm a character i've i've i've become more markiplier than mark in the recent years and it's kind of like melded into one, but it all started. And I might have like talked about this a long time ago, but not to many people. When I was first starting doing YouTube and I was coming out of like my, you know, losing my job and surgery, that was a few months prior to me starting this venture.

But I was still not very self-confident about where I was in life. And so when I latched onto this thing and I was making videos on this channel called Markiplier, I was like, I'm Markiplier. What does that mean? And I would go to the gym a lot and I would run around the gym being like a Markiplier. Markiplier is cool. Markiplier can make friends. Markiplier can talk to people. Markiplier can do all these things, be sociable, be funny. Every single thing that I said that I that Markiplier could do was something that I believed I could not do me as a person at that moment. It was like this aspirational goal for me when I was starting out this channel, because I saw an opportunity to reinvent myself. It was not so much that I just wanted to make a

mask. I did. And this is something that probably a lot of people who who maybe have heard about me online at the time and then met me might have realized that in person I was very different from how I appeared in my videos. And I think that was the dissonance of like not understanding who I was at that time. And admittedly, most people don't understand who they are in their entire lifetimes. I still don't think I'm fully there. But it was this aspiration to improve myself. And that was the entire thesis of that mask that I was creating. And then at some point in my life, I realized that there could not be this fake version of myself that I aspired to. All I had was myself to push and push farther. And I reached a very depressive episode to get through to this point. But once I

worked through it and I realized that I had aspirations that were just for me and not for a performative reason to put out for other people to enjoy and that I could be myself, but the myself that I had could be improved upon was a turning point in my life. Like it was a, it was a dramatic change in the way that I approached both what I was doing for a job and what I was doing as a human being in my day-to-day life. And so it's a situation where, yes, it started out as a mask and yes, it was exhausting to be that. And it took years to even understand what I was doing and why I was doing it. But I wouldn't be here unless I put up those rules and those abilities for me to like aspire to, like from the earliest point in my YouTube career.

This episode is brought to you by Tresemme. Want silky smooth hair that's still full of natural movement? The Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection is your simple solution. This new collection features a wide range of products from nourishing shampoo and conditioner to lightweight heat protectants and a silky smooth serum for a sleek finish. Wave goodbye to frizz and say hello to three days of smooth hair with the Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection. Visit Tresemme.com to learn more. Navigating adulting isn't always easy.

You're not just working, you're working late. And dinner dates are all, what's your five-year plan? And you're thinking, paying off the bill for this fancy pants meal, probably. So when you need to break free from responsibility and experience something that feels more you, reach for Kraft Dinner. Because when you're starved for moments that bring you back to who you really are and what you really love, that's when it's gotta be KD. When you gotta do you, it's gotta be kd when you gotta do you it's gotta be kd shop now i guess my follow-up to this which maybe you guys have answered to some extent do you think we have different masks we wear for different people different situations or do you think there's always a fluctuation of like some

percentage of us some percentage of masks that we're showing i think that given the way that i i feel like my sense of who i am is very based on the context and sort of not so centralized in one one group of behaviors or whatever that i feel like is the real me i feel like i can be a different person if i'm with a large group of people even if there's one person who's not there versus them being there it can affect who i am and how i present myself or what behaviors i tend towards or whatever and like i i guess this is not a direct response to your question but i'm just curious you guys find in everyday life when you're dealing with you you know, the

cashier at the store or someone comes to your house to maybe fix a refrigerator or something, you know, something like that, if that happens to other people, do you find that you behave differently for those individuals you might encounter? Because I feel like I do this really weird thing where I try and like ingratiate myself to them in my behaviors. If I meet someone and I know that they're from Michigan or the Midwest, I'll sort of go into like my Michigan voice where I say yeah a lot. And there's a lot of, you know, like round rows and stuff. And it's a little more Michigan-y or if I, you know, I don't have a Southern accent, but if I'm encountering someone who's like, clearly has a Southern accent is from Texas. I might say y'all, which is a word I would never

use in normal conversation ever. But like I have cousins from Texas and, and I, you know, interact with people from different parts of the country. I have absolutely met someone, heard their accent and been like, Oh, that's cool. Where are y'all? What are y'all up to right now? Just as a subtle way of being like i'm connecting with this person you're you will feel more comfortable because of how i'm doing that even though that's not really a part of like who i would be in a neutral situation no you're talking about straight up mirroring ah yeah is that a thing i don't know it's it's a part of masking in a way but mirroring i think is a very human like instinctual

thing uh you know monkey see monkey do it's it's kind of this this idea that everyone mirrors in some way but some people mirror because a lot of people out there their favorite type of person is someone who's very much like themselves and so when they mirroring is like a maybe even a survival tactic that kind of evolved to do that. But it's one of the most useful and easy things to do to put people at ease. It's also kind of automatic for certain people. Some people say like ADHD, it's a, it's a common thing in ADHD to mirror. I mean, I think I do it as well. Maybe not to the extreme of like adopting accents and whatnot, but maybe so I haven't been in too many situations like that, but yeah,

mirroring is definitely a huge thing. That always made me feel like I was just straight up lying to people. But I'm really, you know, I'm being sincere with them. I just, it's like an unconscious thing of like, they're infecting you. I want to make sure you're cool and we're comfortable and I don't mind, you know, presenting myself a little bit differently if that's going to yeah i have found like you said a lot of people really like it if they think that you're kind of like them yeah man they feel

like oh we're we're cool now because i know you're like me you're just like me you gotta rebel you gotta ask amy about her least favorite thing that i do it's usually when i'm going into a new like shop or something that i've never been to before. And it's not like I'm harassing the staff there. I would never do that. But what I do is I adopt this like extremely clueless, overly smiley and just social, the most socially awkward mask I could possibly put on. We went to this like, I forget what it was like Danish puffs or something like that. I don't even know. You'd have to ask him because I've never seen myself do it, but I'll just, you know, I'll, I was, like Danish puffs or something like that. I don't even know. You'd have to ask him because I've never seen myself do it. But I'll just, you know, I'll smile real big.

I'll lean in real close and I'll just say something like, what do you recommend? And Amy thinks it's weird. I remember her mentioning that. Yeah. No, yeah, I've seen you. Not in such a, in the way you're quite describing, but you do that a lot interacting with waiters is the context I'm imagining. Yeah, but I want to say I'm perfectly nice.

I tip well and I treat wait staff with respect. I do that, but it's just, I don't know. You mean with respect. It's kind of like a weird double effect because Amy has reinforced it because it bothers her and therefore I find it a little funny and it's harmless i think it strikes me as a very dead energy thing yeah probably where where like you're just like trying to be deferential or whatever and it i doubt it bothers very many people that

you interact with any if anyone but you just have that vibe of like oh yeah no or you know i'm new here what do you think i would like what is this place what do you guys do the last one that really bothered i was like i had a gift card to fogo de chow and um someone gave it to me over christmas and you know when, when paying for the bill, I hold open the bill to the waiter. And I'm like, this is a gift card. And then I hand it over. I was like, I didn't even notice I was doing it. But they all just cringe and laugh at me.

And I'm just like, what? I just wanted him to know. I don't know why it was weird. I don't think that's that weird. I feel like Molly definitely has things that she calls me out for. I'm not sure what off the top of my head, but I think I've got some dad-isms or something too, where it's like, why are you talking like that?

Why are you doing that? And in the moment, it feels perfectly natural. But I guess to them, it's like, you're being weird. I am starting to get that urge. This is off topic, I guess, a little bit. But my parents didn't do this. But Mandy's parents and especially her dad, if we're at a restaurant or wherever, if we're out, you know, being consumers somewhere and the store or the restaurant or wherever we

are has done a particularly good job. Mandy's dad has that thing that I think a lot of people do where he's like, oh, I just want to, you know, I want to get my compliments. And depending on how good it is, you know, it'll be like, oh, you know, is your manager around? Can I talk to him? Whatever. And just to be like this waitress, waiter, whomever has done an excellent job, you know, we're super happy. I just want you to know that we had a great time and you have got a great employee there. They did an excellent job. And I've my whole life, I always had the reaction that I feel like

your kids have to their parents, right? Where it's like, ah, don't do that. That's a little much. As I've gotten older though, I'm getting that urge more and more. Where it's like, if someone in that con, cause I've worked in restaurants and I've worked in, you know,

like fast food type places too. If someone does a good job in a in a setting like that in a retail you know customer service setting they deserve a compliment that's a terrible job you have potentially have to deal with the worst side of people in society being shitty to you writing on the check here's a tip dress nicer if you want money you know like no shit like that if you do a good job in a customer service setting, I kind of want to tell your manager you did a really good job now. And I haven't done it yet, but I just have that instinct of, like,

they deserve a little, like, I hope they get, you know, treated well. I hope they get good scheduling. They do a good job. I just want them to know. I've done it. You've done that? I've done it. Like, the manager will come over and be like,

how are you guys doing this? Even, like, this is the best server we've ever had. Like, I've done that. Oh, I've definitely done it. You've done that? I've done it. The manager will come over and be like, how are you guys doing this? Even like, this is the best server we've ever had. I've done that. Oh, I've definitely done that. I don't think I've ever done it unprompted, but I might have. No, if they come and ask, I will definitely be very complimentary. But I've reached a point a couple times where I was like, should I see if the manager? No, no, don't do that.

Wait a minute. Can I speak to your manager? For a compliment. Anyway, that has nothing to do with masking. Just your big dad energy made me think of that. I'm absolutely going to be that guy at some point. I feel like we're in a progressive insurance commercial right now that don't become your parents. I love those commercials.

But we're just becoming the parents anyway. It's like a big warning sign what to watch out for, though. I see those now and i'm like poof i would never do that but in like 10 years see those commercials again at some point like oh wait a minute a couple of those things seem like stuff i would do i've been the guy in the elevator or like waiting for a plane or whatever else it's been like something will happen it's like i make a comment like for like a little chuckle or whatever and people like give you that like gross it's funny or maybe it's like the pity laugh or it's like the funny but i

don't want to actually laugh it's called an obligation laugh yeah they're masking you are forcing them to put on a mask that interaction is the the obligatory laugh because everyone in the area who heard you has that that initial reaction of like oh but then they're in inside their voice is like don't be a jerk that's a joke he made a joke and that and you give that laugh that obligation laugh there's times though where it seems more legitimate than others i feel like i've gotten a legitimate chuckle right it's it's pretty tough if you consider you know the idea of telling a joke, like as a comedian to get a laugh,

you're basically walking onto an empty stage there in front of a crowd that's not expecting a comedian and telling them a joke and expecting them to be in the mood to be like, Ha! Yeah! That flight attendant is slow, isn't she? Oh, what a guy. You you know that's why audiences get warmed

up not you're not always in the mood to laugh okay they're not they don't have to laugh at you no my charisma is so high they're really laughing i'm just that much funnier than everyone else i know it and humble uh-huh okay my aries is showing. I'm sorry. You guys go ahead. What the hell does that mean? What do you mean, go ahead? You didn't prompt us with anything. Go ahead. Just go. Earn points, damn it.

You want points, don't you? The subject's masks and stuff. Earn points. Masks and stuff. God. You want me to guide you? You want me to leave it open-ended? What do you want, Mark?

You keep switching back and forth. You want me to guide you? No conversation or not. All right, Bob uh you want to talk about stuff uh jim carrey jim carrey that guy the movie the mask coming up lately what in the hell what do you mean yeah the 1990 oh six eight eight i don't remember 98 jim carrey movie the mask now there's a mask 94 damn it that a decent cg for 94 yeah though that's what always gets me it doesn't look like it's early mid 90s computer graphics at all it looks like it's late 90s 2000s yeah no it is it looks pretty good it holds up i watched it

a few years ago at least it does it does hold up pretty good it's a fun romp now matt now son of the mask now that is not a fun romp oh no i've never even seen it i did see a youtube breakdown of it and just like it is just probably it looks cringe from 10 000 miles away like you can feel it you can feel it without even having to watch it anyway that's it we we're out thank you everybody is that what you wanted us to talk about wade is that the stuff you were looking for i feel like we've scratched the surface it's hard it's hard in our time to go super super in depth with topics but i feel like there's a lot more to cover i i think one of the aspects that we have not covered that i do want to mention is most of what we have talked about

is masking from the context of people that are already well socially accepted. I may have talked about like from getting when I didn't feel that, but even then I had friends, a lot of people who try to mask and don't always succeed are like I said, the beginning of the people who are neurodivergent people on the autism spectrum of some kind, and then they have to mask and they often feel like they're not masking well enough. And it can lead to like this cycle of failure and like a loss of identity and not knowing who you are. And that can lead to depression. And it can be troublesome for people. So they're like we've had a lot of like fun memories to talk about with masking.

But there's like it's a struggle for a lot of people, especially a lot of people who don't fully naturally and instinctively understand social cues, body language, stuff like that. It can be it can be difficult, hard to build relationships. And this feeling that you need to maintain a mask at all times can put undue pressure on someone and be not nearly as fun. So if anything, I would just like mention that, you know, some people are trying very hard to be what they hope people perceive as normal and you know slipping a little bit here and there isn't a need to call out anything from someone you know uh just like understand that everyone is struggling in some way whether or not it's a mask or that's just so they're having a shit day or maybe there's an asshole it's like uh to each their own everyone's struggling so

just remember that i guess final final question masks are they different or they like a cocoon and we slowly reveal or cocoon up more of ourselves with them is it one mask that's just a percentage of mask or do we have multiple masks you think uh i think it's less mask more makeup if you think it like that you construct what you need a certain look in a certain moment and you know you get better at that over time it you need a certain look in a certain moment and you know you get better at that over time it's like a skill like anything and even though it doesn't seem like it maybe you go in the wrong direction some people probably look back at old makeup looks that they had and cringe and they're like oh man i can't believe that but you know that's

what i picture it as final thoughts bob i guess i keep saying the same thing in different ways. I feel like I have a very wide range of different versions of how I present myself. Masks, I guess. But the thing that connects them for me is it always feels like my core values generally still drive the masks in terms of the overall way that I present myself and the way I interact with people, no matter how far away, you know, how, how much of a difference it feels like I'm doing in one situation or the other in terms of masking my personality. I always feel like underlying it all are my, how I feel about people, how I, I want to be to the best of my ability, like inclusive and uplifting. And I don't always succeed but i do always feel that no matter how i'm what makeup i have on to use mark's analogy or metaphor which

one is it i don't remember so i guess that's the that's the main thing that makes them feel connected but they feel wildly different to me i can feel like a whole different person one context to another so it's hard for me to say it's not you know different masks for different times and places that aren't very similar at all potentially gotcha well i appreciate it boys i enjoyed this i wish we had like two more hours to dive deeper in but hopefully everybody out there listening you guys enjoyed this was definitely a less silly more thought-provoking one so hopefully that half of the subreddit is happy with me the other half well suck my dick um there was no need to antagonize him. It was going to be what it was going to be.

I wanted to take my mask off for a minute. Is that the true you? I guess I'll leave it up to the subreddit to decide. That wasn't an answer. Which one of us is the real me and which one is the mask? It's very villainous of you, Wade. I appreciate that. Thank you.

Thank you. My villain arc begins now. Points. I definitely wrote a bunch of them, and I'm not just flipping a coin right now to figure out who won. That's my bit. Oh. Well. You stole that from Distractible.

Maybe the bit was not forever in your favor today because Mark had more points at the end. Woo! I mean, that's your bit, man. You can have a bit. Are you sure you want to refit the coin? Best two out of three. Sounds like a funny bit. Funny bit.

Funny stuff. I am so sorry, but it looks like you're getting the tail end of this coin, Bob. Woo! Oh, I get it, because it's heads and tails. Mark, you have a winner's speech. I would say, you know, I said all the pertinent, like almost disclaimery things that I wanted to say in there,

you know, for like the actual definitions of masking and how people deal with it. So I'll just say, I know what these two really look like under their masks and the truth would rip your mind apart. It would tear your psyche asunder. You would suffer ego death unto,

like the most horrifying suffering and experience known to man. Don't peek under their masks. Don't do it. Don't do it. No. Okay, Markiplier Fishbug. Bob, what about you?

You got a loser speech? I hate both of you. I deserve to win. Subreddit, where's the outrage for my unfair losses? Come on. Well, I forget what my subreddit's even called the Brotherhood of Bob the Brotherhood of Bob best Bob's brothers the Bobby boys I Come on buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh No. I think that's just a you thing. Oh, well someone will adopt it. They'll take it as their mask. You actually stole that from the 1992 film Bobby Boy.

That's kind of his catchphrase. I probably did. I'm sure someone will find it eventually and be like, oh, look at what Wade stole this time. But I appreciate you guys. And as the third place finisher with two points, I guess all I will add is make sure you give these boys and myself a follow. Mark at Markier bob at my skirm me at minion 777 or lord minion 777 uh we have merch i don't know what's there but you can find out if you go to store.distractablepodcast.com with confidence

with let me mask that with store.distractablepodcast.com. And I guess Mark will be hosting the next one, and we'll see you all then. Thank you guys again. Thank you all of our listeners. Thanks, Baltimore, for everything you've done for the, you know, opening. I'm sure you said lots of nice things about me.

Podcast out. The lights dimmed as the cameras and microphones finally powered down. Aghast, the podcasters all looked at the Iplia again. Why, how could Mark come across as such a douche canoe? Though they knew he was truly a titan of a man, Mr. Iplia merely looked at them and said, You're welcome.

For he knew that this day he had made them all look magnificent. Until next week, Undistractable.