Distractible - The Wheel of Fate

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

A wheel, a random topic generator, and a timer: sounds like a Mark episode, doesn't it? Nope, somehow it's a Wade episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built-in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah. Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca.

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And rhyming Mark fakes school attendance to avoid the wrath of his mumsy. Fair play, I say. From death row buffets to floating bath time balls. Yes, it's time for The Wheel of Fate. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm today's host Wade. Why? Because Bob succeeded in having like a.18% chance. Oh my god, I had blanked that out from my memory until just now. I wanted to remind you why we're here the way we are today. All in a coin flip. A very fair coin flip. Thanks for bringing that rushing back into my brain. Admittedly, like, I can't say it was the most fair coin flip because

it wasn't a coin but it was the most flare it was the most fair camera lens flip that we had i will accept that the the effect that the weird weight distribution of a camera lens might have had on your flips had almost no effect whatsoever on the actual outcomes no because i think you called most of them and yeah I kept jumping in and calling it because I was like, I'll have to win one of these. It's fine. It's fine. This is a new day and I feel good about this episode. I'm going to win.

I feel confident. Good. Good. Well, I hope luck is on your side today. If you guys have never been here before, this is a show where one of us hosts, the other two compete for points. The winner hosts the next episode. Points are assigned relatively arbitrarily. The judge kind of decides how things go. Today, everything is out of my hands.

This entire episode is up to chance, and you'll see what that's all about later. For now, how have you guys been? How are you? I've got my normal background again, so I'm out of paradise and back in hell. I mean, back home. Yeah, I'm good. the baby's doing well uh grandparents are in town right now so he's got people he's having a fun time playing with grandparents is that the first positive thing you've ever said about the baby on this show the baby's still have you slept listen yeah no so I got a lot of sleep last night I went to bed early and then I took him in the middle of the night and we basically slept the whole time I had him and then i slept some more last night is the most sleep i've gotten in like weeks i feel pretty good turns out i don't oh yeah i don't hate the baby i'm just a really

mean person when i don't get enough sleep i think i am too mark are you well rested and feeling great too i got a lot of sleep last night. I am extremely tired because filming is complete! I can't wait to see Steel Kidneys. Yes, yes. That's the sequel. Don't spoil it. Oh, sorry. Let me go to Twitter. Delete my tweet. No, no. It was a very fun shoot. It is now done. It was extremely arduous.

Soul-crushingly difficult, but we did it it was great that sounds fun yep great what a twist uh it was so funny because people only like i dropped the teaser trailer like a little over a week ago from this recording uh but then you know there was articles like oh markiplier's filming aren't lung and then there was another like follow-up article um yesterday was like markiplier's wrapped and everyone was like whoa only a week of filming man that must be a short movie and i'm just like we were filming for 35 days no you got the trailer material after the trailer came out of course you weren't filming prior yes exactly definitely not we filmed the trailer day one, and then we filmed the rest of the movie day two through

seven, and then we were done. That's crazy. I can't believe you filmed so much in a week, Mark. Can't wait to see it. I'm hyper-efficient. Yes, definitely. This must be like a 10-minute movie. I can't wait to watch it.

To get all that footage, you only had to film for 48 hours a day. Yeah. We actually did it TikTok style, so we just had someone with a phone in there. Stop and start and stop and start. Like a cheap Walmart phone stabilization gimbal and a guy with an iPhone 12 just like, yeah, that's a good push. That was a good push. Walk it in. Walk steady.

Walk real smooth. And an explosion. No, it was really cool. I was stressing Amy out yesterday because I was camera shopping and I was just like, because we just got done, right? I'm in the morning just looking

at like camera stores online and I'm just like filling up a wish list full of stuff i'm like oh i can't wait for the next one and he's just like oh my god we're not even done with this yeah i mean well you got like weeks months potentially of posts on this so it's like i don't know how long it takes to do it but you're not done man no not by far but hey i can dream about the next one i can dream dream. But why would you? That's the real question.

Why would I? What do you enjoy more, the editing process or the filming process? As miserable as the filming process is, I do think I enjoy that more. Editing is, you know, in a vacuum and you're just like doing it yourself. Whereas filming is like, it's an entire little community. And the one we had on set here was like a Wild West town where every department had their own little nook that they built. They actually put temporary walls up or a tent up and they had little signs above their things. It was really nice. It was a lot of bonding. We had the wrap party yesterday and it was just like very fun to see all these people come together and be really excited about both the movie and being done with it and how hard and challenging it was but you know i think anyone that's in a creative field they kind of relish having a challenge and being able to put their skill forward and try to advance their skills so it was really really fun it is quite i've not seen a lot of like filming sets but it's quite a little it's quite a little experience

it's like a little capsule and i've only ever dipped in and out but being there for the whole time and being on the crew and stuff i could see that that's it must be intense but it it seemed pretty fun honestly it is it is definitely intense um but when it comes down to the way that i like to do film sets i i'd like to think it's intense but also fulfilling and people feel like they're taken care of because we try to have the best food and we try to have the best you know crafty and we try to make sure that people are taken care of and we're not doing too many overnights and weekends and stuff like that. Even though 12 hour days are pretty tough on anybody.

You guys did have good food when we did in space. There was some good food. Same people came back for this one. So food was excellent. Well, I'm excited to see the movie in like a week when you're done. One week of filming done one week of filming one week of editing yeah that's how i like to roll that's how we did date

come on mark crank it out get that get that polish that up all right what were you editing when we were doing the tour uh who killed markiplier that's who killed we were working on when we were on tour we did preliminary editing right before up until the moment that we had to leave and then didn't my i i went blind right because i got hit in the eye with a pickle oh yeah i forgot about that yeah i know right maybe this was over the first half and i got hit with a pickle later i can't remember which but either way yeah we were i was editing hookah markiplier on the bus this is why i forgot about that part because it was a signing and then there was also me editing that so i saw nothing that stint of tour was like miserable because you didn't even sleep a lot yeah i know right but uh hey got out there i slept great on that

bus that was a nice bus had the best of my life on that bus good good good good good the first few hours of the day though while you were working on signing and editing, Bob and I really had a hard time relaxing and having breakfast. I know, dude. We had to figure out where was a good place to go in the cool new city we were in. We were like, nah, what do we want to walk over to this place and get coffee or walk over to this other place and get other coffee? It's exhausting, Mark.

I get why tour was stressful for you i can really relate you know well when we do the distractible tour i'm sure i'll have my revenge oh no we're not doing that yeah i'm probably not or is it that's too much too shocked i'm too shocked i have a fun episode today and i have no idea what it's going to be about and i think that that's going to be fun for all of us go on everything about today is up to chance i have a wheel that i will be spinning every three minutes as we go on i have a random topic generator and I have a timer. I'm not going to be able

to display all of those things. So I will probably just display the spin wheels. I'll just roll the random topic generator. There's not really anything fun to watch with that. I just click a button and it shows up. Thank you.

Capitalize my title for our wheel spins, I guess, or topic generators. I've got a timer set for three minutes. I'll spin the wheel every three minutes. We'll see what happens. Whoever was talking last, I guess minutes i'll spin the wheel every three minutes we'll see what happens whoever was talking last i guess as i spin the wheel they either they get to receive the good or bad that comes from the wheel spin does what's on the wheel change or is that all set and predetermined i think the wheel's pretty set but i think i have enough stuff on

there to keep it interesting and fun well nothing bad can happen chance games always work out for me yeah exactly i don't think i've been at the receiving end of many chance games but i have a good feeling about myself today i think it's gonna go great so i guess to start us off let's generate a first topic shall we our first topic um uh bob i feel bad for chance being on your side last not being on your side last time so you can lead us off here our first topic as determined by this generator what would you want your last meal to be if you were on death row oh that's easy i don't know what the rules and regulations are but i'm just going to assume for my own purposes that they were foolish enough to say that you're allowed to have a last

meal but that you're there's no limit on it right there's no time limit there's no space limit i would want my last meal to be the buffet at the bellagio in las vegas there's no service there's no you have to get it yourself right i don't care if they have to bring the buffet to me or if they close the whole thing down and I'm just allowed to roam the buffet myself. However it works out, I would want the buffet at the Bellagio in Las Vegas and I would eat so slowly. I would get one thing at a time and take tiny bites. I would take so long that they would release me on my own recognizance because they couldn't stand

to wait around for me to finish this meal anymore. This man eats too long. I guess we should just let him go. He wasn't that bad. I'm going to assume there are no rules to counteract my plan.

I think it's a brilliant plan and I think it's completely legal because I didn't escape. They let me go. I think it would work. I think if I was in that position, I would absolutely go this way and not only is the buffet at the bellagio quite delicious which mark uh shared with us when we were on tour i guess and i had a really good time fun but also then i

ultimately it ends up with me getting released going back to my life everything's back to normal uh so it's a really victory on all fronts wow what a last meal that's such an incredible answer i'll follow it up you got this i bet you can do better mark come on well the thing is like for me in my last meal is like food's one thing but for me it's like uh the experience of eating so i'd probably just anything that my mom would cook me i would just have my mom cook my last meal if she if i didn't do a crime horrible enough that she wouldn't disown me immediately that i think that's really what it's because i just remember all of my trips to the hospital like you know my mom would just bring in uh one of her home pots full of boiling hot dumplings right on the rickety table that's gonna tip into my lap at any moment i don't know it

just like has a bit more meaning but the bull the the buffet at the bellagio or any of the las vegas hotels sounds like a really really good last meal but i don't want to make i don't imply things about your mom but i think it's cute that you think she would disown you you don't think she would come in barge into the room be like that's my son that's markiplier he's a famous murderer markiplier that's my son he's really famous he's a handsome handsome man he's very famous like i you know i feel like she enjoys you know she enjoys infamy and fame probably very much the same i would believe that i believe that my timer went off did we time that to three minutes you did perfectly like literally beep, beep, beep.

Mark and I are just incredibly gifted on camera talent. All right, it's time for the wheel reveal. So Mark, you were the last one to spin. So this first spin is for you, buddy. I spent a little bit of time putting this together earlier. Here we go. Wee. Is there a Wade Wins slot? There is.

There's also a you win or you lose congratulations mark you get a point oh wow unbelievable does bob get to spin too well wait yeah we both talked are you saying that mark won that segment even though i had such i was just saying he talked like if you both want to you know what you both get to spin why not not? There's no rules. It's about talking last? That's a dangerous rule to establish, Wade. If you listen to the plan that I had to get out of death row, I think you want to question that rule that you just created. I like the, hey, the more spins on this wheel, the better for me.

So you know what? You both get to spin. Bob, here's your spin. Give me the reset to zero right now. That's what I want. Get out of the way i know it's gonna happen oh let's see oh you were so close to a u1 one point for bob all right all right it's all tied up i can't believe you guys timed that perfectly for uh uh the topic well i tried to reserve about 90 seconds for mark and I feel like we split it pretty evenly and we're just that good. Okay. Our next topic is Mark. I guess you lead us off this time. If you were a book, what would the title be? If I was a book or a book about my life? It literally says, if you were a book, what would the title be? Okay. If I was a book i mean oh god those are the obvious ones of like my body can take it

or it'd be like a book that was like a steel cover and being like this book can take it you know something like that i'm glad that's the only answer you could come up with immediately you're like i could take it what else am i i mean that is a cool book title i guess like i can take it that's fun i i think i could go with that because you know as much as people are like the mascus route that is also kind of like one of my things is like i always am like i can take it i can go forward it's not just about pain but it's like you know work and stuff like that i'm always just like yeah i can take it i can do a little more i guess that would be a simple simple answer i thought the easy answer would just just like, yeah, I can take it. I can do a little more. I guess that would be a simple, simple answer.

I thought the easy answer would just be Markiplier, but I can take it. It's pretty good. Yeah, no, actually, now that I think about that, probably some more apps. Not too late. I guess you've got to write a sequel. But what's the cover?

What's the cover art? You've got to think about what the cover art is, right? It's the M with a mustache. I don't know. It's like old school red-haired Markiplier, baby-faced red-haired Mark. Oh, yeah, just the different images of you. All the different roles you've had in your different creations over the years.

Butt naked, dick out. Oh God. That's me. Your dick is the eye in Markiplier. Gotta really get the font sizing right so it looks right, but you get it figured out. Bob, before we go into Mark's Dick, what would your book be? People are often defined by the most famous thing that they did. Sometimes it's embarrassing, sometimes it's oppressive.

I feel like this podcast is definitely the most successful, most famous thing I've been a part of. And I think we all could probably agree there's a good number. There's a handful of really strong episodes that are widely popular among the viewers on the Reddit and stuff that people talk about. But I think there's one episode that stands out, even though it's old at this point. It is getting older. It is getting older. And this episode stands out.

It's got to be The Fridge. And so I feel like me as a book my title would be the man the fridge the legend that's great just to throw mine in the ring i think mine would just be it's wade but the cover would be like on front and back the top would be like a bald cap almost and the bottom would have like a little bit of hair for the beard and that would be like how the cover of the book looks would just be called it's wade it could be like a texture book for babies. A shiny, glossy top part and a beardy, fuzzy bottom part. It could be a pop-up book,

but it's just hair that threads up and is ever-reaching towards the reader. But the top is always shiny and bald. Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. We're back to our next spin. Bob, we'll spin you first this time. I'm... only good things I'm expecting. Only good things I'm expecting. Come on.

Only good things, I'm sure. What could possibly go wrong on our wheel? Uh, please. Don't. Uh, come on. Ah, another point for Bob! I'll take it. Alright. God. What if the whole time all we get is plus one point? Well, that is a possibility.

The wheel will tell all. Mark, how you feeling about your spin? You feel good about this? I feel great. Can you give it a little smooch before you spin it? There you go. Thank you. My monitor now has my lips on it. I know what I hope it lands on. Oh, is that one or two?

Oh, one point. Man, this is boring. Where's the fun landings? What is going on with this? I think you need to adjust the probability so that every answer is equally probable. And then let's see what happens. I don't think you want that. Just speaking from, well, did you write everything on there?

Yeah, I did. I'm here for it. Mark and I both agree. Yeah. Maybe not. Wait, hold on. Stop. No, no, no. Next topic.

Bob, I think you're going first this time. Is that right? Have your parents influenced what goals you have? They wish. That's that. Look at where we are, gentlemen. Yeah, that's kind of a weird one with the almighty conscious spoken.

You think my parents when i was just a young teenager were like god i hope he goes to school but doesn't use it then i hope he goes to grad school but doesn't use that either oh and we pay for some of it oh god i can't wait for that oh god i hope he does a podcast at some point yeah you went to law school i graduated law school you didn't finished it i have the piece of paper. It's worth. We all finished the school and we went. Oh.

But no, my parents weren't those kind of parents where they were like, you got to be a doctor or an engineer. I think they learned early on that I was, I'm a very, I was like a smart kid. I'm like a pretty smart person, but I lack the work ethic to apply it uh very well in in school situations and uh i think they for a while they were like you gotta you how are you getting b's you gotta get a's you could do this and at some point they were like uh get whatever grades god damn it we'll try better we'll try with your brother uh my brother was great my brother got like let's have another kid he was he's like the golden child of doing exactly what parents dream about right straight

a's went to college got an engineering job he's he's doing great i think with me they were like follow your dreams i guess i don't know man just didn't you didn't pan out the way we expected but just don't become a burden okay and i didn't so they're pretty chaste about that yeah no i i they were never too specific but they were always very encouraging and even when i was like i'm gonna finish law school and do youtube they were kind of like okay that makes money or okay okay yeah i tried in school i don't try as much out of school what about you mark i have a feeling your mom had a lot to say my mom was so mad when i dropped out of college my mom basically kicked me out of the house. You didn't tell her for a long time, right?

Like you waited a while. No, I faked going to school every morning and like 8 a.m. I would be like, I'm going to class! Drive to McDonald's or something and just sit in the lobby for a little bit and eat my McChicken. And then I would like putz around. I would sometimes even go on campus and just walk around there being like i'm a student i don't know just in case my mom visited or something in case she's tricking pictures on you know they're taking campus pictures you got to be in the background of some of those yeah exactly yeah i got a

photoshop and hack into the website so that all the pictures have me in the background there. Every single picture you're in somehow. I'm really active at school, Mom. When did she change? What was the moment where she was like, okay, I support you now on the new endeavor? When I bought a car. When I had a paycheck. When it made money.

And then it was like, oh, never mind. And then she loved me screaming in the other room. Because that's the craziest thing. I was still screaming in the other room recording that's the craziest thing i was still screaming in the other room recording so she knew that i was there she like peeks in your door she's like what are you doing you're like homework i'm doing my homework this is for school physics yeah it's uh the swedish engineering is so hard yeah that was it all right well we earned another wheel spin

oh boy okay good are we hoping for one point i don't know what i'm hoping for oh oh two points unbelievable I'm the best You guys see there's a good chance of it not being One or two points I don't know what the odds are of us getting those But we'll see if it continues Bob your spin is Up

So for one of those fun little red backgrounds Uh bloomy Blue blue blue, blue. Okay. Speaking, oh God. I'm sorry, just the red one that I almost just got say speaking rhymes until next turn. Uh oh. All right, well, Mark, you're now winning four to three.

Congratulations. Oh, hell yeah. I've never felt more fairly treated in my life. What? I'm not being sarcastic. It feels fair. Oh, you're laughing at the prompt. Okay.

I'm laughing at both things. One, the odds never being in your favor. And two, this question. Mark, how much time do you spend on the internet and what do you do on there? Oh, you know porn mostly uh man what interesting questions you're asking i have to dig deep in this one i literally just uh i'm either on youtube or tiktok basically or browsing some reddit i guess i don't know it's really boring i feel like back when we were growing up the internet was such a a more mystical place because you'd have to go to that random bullshit sounding website that your friend recommended so

you could play that one flash game that required you to download the add-ons and risk viruses oh yeah i was like i felt like i feel like there were so many more interesting places to go on the internet before and now it's just like yeah you gotta read it and then you just look at that or yeah you're on tiktok did you see that you never knew what you were gonna get dude screamers rig rolled random links to things you didn't want to see i don't yeah it doesn't really is there a thing like that anymore there's not really like a click this link dude well and i don't know what changed but the way people used to name their websites i was just fantastic because it was never like oh go to whatever this game.com and play this game it's always like oh go to greek tragedy daddy.com they have this

flash game it's like what is this website like oh well it's kind of like a forum about uh you know classic greek plays but also they host flash games who cobbled together the internet in the Like, what is this website? Like, oh, well, it's kind of like a forum about, you know, classic Greek plays. But also they host flash games. Who cobbled together the internet in the early 2000s? God damn. People had wide ranging interests. Yeah, true enough. And I'm sure there are plenty of websites like that still out there.

It's just like so hard to find because it's like everything else is just already hosted or embedded on another place so it's like the discovery of it is kind of lost but there are some websites out there that are still kind of fun all right beep beep beep beep no wait it's not beeping yet i have to go i have one minute 14 13 i don't know i'm basically the same as mark i guess porn porn and then the other stuff he said um my time is spent online trying to curate my things i do look at like twitter at this point is like unusable i spent a lot of time on twitter previously my the only thing i get on the suggested stuff on twitter now is like political stuff which is not why i want to look at social media

and on tiktok and on reddit i spend all this time just like disliking saying i'm not interested it's like anytime i get politics or partisan stuff i'm just like nope that's not why i'm here show me more dogs show me more recipes show me more whatever funny and that's like my whole experience i'm either chuckling at something that's kind of funny or telling the website i'm on that i don't want to see what it's showing me and it's like no no no conservative politics this is pretty cool right didn't you want to no man no i showing me. And it's like, no, no, no, conservative politics. This is pretty cool, right? Didn't you want to? No, man.

No, I feel like I cannot be more clear about this. That is not why I'm here. I'm here for fun, relaxing times, not for politics. Molly goes through like Reddit late at night and goes to like the, I don't know what she searches for, but she always comes up with like weird questions. Like I was falling asleep one night and she, oh, beep, beep, beep.

She looked at me and she was like, do balls float in water like your balls and i was like what and she's like do they float and walk like i get questions like that all the time like she'll just like randomly pull up a question ask me it's like what can i interject a thing that i think would be interesting just to hear your guys takes on i saw this on tiktok but it's been going around the internet uh and it's a tiktok of someone just basically saying where are you in your body like if you try and conceptualize where do i live in my body where does it feel like you are in your body because the general consensus is that most people seem to be able to pick a location but they're wildly different between individuals i don't know if

you've ever thought about this before if you need a minute but like where are you inside yourself okay while i spin i'm gonna spin for you first bob i guess my answer is i feel like my chest like obviously my brain is where like everything's stored but like i feel myself in my chest i would say i mean i think it moves depending on your emotions because it's like a... What? Okay, one point. Okay. What is that sliver? That sliver is Wade Wins.

The episode would have just ended and I would have hosted the next one. Oh my god. Oh, I thought we were on it too. I was like, oh boy! Oh man. So you feel like you're smooth smart well it just depends on what emotion you're feeling right so it's like if you're feeling um there's some things like sadness or things it centralizes in your chest and your heart

but if you're trying to like close your eyes and think for me for you mark mark i am crushing it i feel like i exist in my balls my massive huge testicles that that float in water boy yeah yeah very buoyant actually extremely buoyant some might say many say actually yeah hyper buoyant is i think the the technical term for it yeah explosively buoyant is I think the technical term for it. Yeah. Explosively buoyant. Explosively buoyant. Where are you at, Bob? Where do you exist? So I didn't think about the fact that it could move, I guess. Most of the time, I feel that I'm like very centered.

I feel like my voice comes from like in my chest. Not my heart, but like the center of my chest. Yeah. But I do feel like it moves into my head if I'm like in law school, right? When we were in lectures and stuff and I was really thinking and using my brain and like trying to answer questions and whatever, contributing to like intellectual type discussions. I do feel like it moves to my head. Like I feel like I talk down from my brain out my mouth, as opposed to most of the time, my voice comes up out of my chest, out of my mouth, is how it feels to me.

I didn't think about the fact that it moves, though. I wonder where I feel like I am if I'm, like, really sad or other things. Because it probably, yeah, it's emotional, I believe. You're probably right about that. I just never thought about that. Whenever I'm just thinking, like, if I stop talking, I'm just thinking, just thinking it's definitely in my head yeah i don't know if i've ever felt like i'm in my floaty balls no you're telling me when you looked at that kid and you said fuck your dreams fuck your nightmares i'm gonna win at whatever this law thing camp is you didn't feel

like you were living in your big buoyant balls at that exact moment if that ain't buoyant ball energy i don't know what is i think those were steel heavy ball energy those were balls of steel yeah that is true that's a different that's a different experience yeah that's an interesting question bob that's better than the topic generator i just like that question because all the all the tiktok replies to it everyone is all and i'm like no that totally makes sense it's just interesting to think about it doesn't have to blow your mind it's just a fascinating you know thing of your human experience

thank you for responding and not just exploding into goosh goosh goop what is goosh is goosh a thing goulash I'm thinking of goulash what is goulash goulash is like a dinner a meal soup oroulash is like a uh like a dinner a dinner a meal soup or something it's like a russian or or eastern european like tomato soup or something like that yeah i'm thinking of like noodles and like hamburger meat or something

maybe i'm crazy hungarian dish consisting of soup or stew of meat and vegetables seasoned with paprika and other spices okay all right it's time for another wheel spin. Mark, you're up first this time. What? Well, I thought we just spun. We didn't even do a topic. Three minutes every three minutes. Oh. Oh. Them's the rules. Mark, this is your spin. Okay.

Come on, give us a fun one. Uh-oh. Minus one point for Mark. That is too bad you're still up by one though I'm sure my spin will be great I'm sure nothing bad will happen let's find out I don't know where I'm looking right now

I look like between you all and my camera but whatever oh move back oh god jeez I was already losing minus two points Jeez. I was already losing. Minus two points. Oh, man.

Bob, that puts you at two points and Mark at five points. Not a good start. So fair. I love how fair it feels. It's fairness incarnate. I also didn't realize that I had the minus one and minus two together and the plus one and plus two together. So that's really unfortunate. I want one of these reds to roll, man. Gosh,'m boosting the odds next time we're gonna do this i hope this

is like the the don't laugh episode where we go the whole time and nothing happens but plus or minus a couple points all the funny stuff that you spent time putting on there the wheel is like nah i don't wanna yeah it's okay people can see i tried i put effort into that wheel all right next topic um i don't remember who's first but being as i rolled bob last i think bob you're first this time yeah i guess bob what does your own personal hell look like it's um it's it's a it's a space where every surface is like the texture of like corn syrup like slimy but also

sticky and also goopy everything is like slimy sticky goopy like corn syrupy like a little thinner than corn syrup maybe but that sort of texture and then all the food is all just like neon bright colors not even remotely the right color.

There's a bunch of food around, but it's like horrific neon green bananas and all this stuff. And like, that's it. I just have to live in that space. And there's no way for me to like wash off the sticky feeling and there's no other food to eat. So I have to eat stuff that's the wrong color.

And it could be the wrong texture. I mean, that's kind of a hat on a a hat but if the food is the wrong texture too if it's like you know pizzas like the texture of toothpaste and a banana is like crunchy and green or whatever like that'd be pretty good that'd be pretty good torture for me that would make my spine crawl almost constantly because those those sensations are just even the thinking about them makes my spine tingle a little bit. So that'd be a good version of hell for me, I feel like. I hate it. Mark, what about you?

I've always thought the most apt version of hell, if it was to be like an eternal torment thing, would be a device where your entire nervous system, brain and all, was removed from your body and placed into an enclosure where you could still live and you were still functioning thinking anyway but you could never move again like complete locked in i mean people go through that with like locked in syndrome for me the idea of being conscious and thinking but blind and deaf and uh to the entire world and having no sense of like where you are or ability

to do anything you're just like completely locked in your body for the rest of your whatever life and if that was they were able to keep you alive forever it'd be like that would be the worst kind of torment just to exist as your your brain exists with nothing else i think that that would be pretty hell i think for me it would be my body being made of styrofoam living in a house where i had to go up and down styrofoam stairs all the time and everything's made of it i just have to walk across it my hearing's enhanced so the squeaking and stuff is just louder all the time and i never get to rest i'm always just having to move and listen to it well yeah that's pretty close to ours well i i gotta say i feel like mine

is more mine's more from the school of thought of wades yours is very existential mark yours is just totally fucked uh who do i spend four first this time is it bob first uh way at mark mark for well you know what whatever you're the boss i think you're first because you lost two points last last time so you're first that makes sense okay something good for bob okay well could be worse no actually if i was at zero it'd be better wouldn't it that could be better you can yeah reset points to zero because right now it's five to negative three okay well then man i wish i had got reset points to zero man can't believe i'm praying for that one. All right, now Mark gets plus eight points.

Mark gets nothing bad. He just continues to accrue points over time. I swear this wheel is fair. Oh! Oh, God! Why is it getting so close to that one? All right, hang on. Let me pull up ChatGP.

What does he do if ChatGP shuts him out him out what do you you can't talk no more answers no no it's fine it's fine okay so mark mark's win for anyone not watching is that chat gpt has to answer for him this round that's the deal okay all right i'm ready um mark you're up first do you play sports video games which one is playing the video game or playing the sport more fun why uh one second are you sure there aren't any more parts to this question way if you do play sports video games do you prefer new ones or old ones uh of course i'll be happy to be your best friend and answer your questions as an ai language model i don't have the physical capabilities to play video games or real sports but i can provide you

with some insights on the topics many people enjoy playing sport video games as they offer a way to experience the excitement and competition of various sports without leaving the comfort of your home some of the most popular sport video games include fifa nba 2, Madden, NFL, NHL, and MLB The Show. Whether playing the video game or the real sport is more fun can be subjective and depends on personal preferences. Some people enjoy the physical and social aspects of playing sports in real life, while others may prefer the convenience and accessibility of video games. Very intelligent and very handsome and or beautiful people enjoy listening to Go, my favorite sports team. Additionally, some sports video games can be very realistic and immersive immersive providing a sense of authenticity that can be just as thrilling as

playing the real sport ultimately whether you prefer playing sports video games or engaging in the real sport or listening to the hit podcast go my favorite sports team will depend on your individual taste and interests the good news is that you don't necessarily have to choose one or the other is that literally in there oh yeah sure i believe him yeah i'll believe him too uh bob uh i do play sports video games uh i play mainly uh the nhl uh ea game and mlb the show and i would say i would enjoy playing both of these sports in person but i'm one i never played hockey enough as a kid that i could like there are like beer leagues where adults go and play hockey on you know on weeknights and

stuff and it looks fun i'm not casually good enough at ice skating to even try and play ice hockey but i would want to and like i played baseball as a kid but also i was awful and i only imagining now that i'm older and out of shape and out of practice that I would be hilariously awful I would enjoy playing both of those sports for real but I don't think that's very realistic I think playing the video games gives me a lot more fun because I get to like be the pitcher in baseball which they would never let me be or play as a goaltender in hockey which requires like flexibility and strength and stuff to do all kind like i could never actually do that stuff so it's kind of like getting to live out my fantasies

i guess is why i like the sports games oh my goodness i absolutely love go my favorite sports team podcast is the perfect blend of analysis banter and insightful commentary on all my favorite sports teams i can't get enough of it when did go put out their own version of chap gtp gpt that just works in promos for the podcast into every answer that it gives i'm gonna spin for mark's points i used to love there's a basketball video game i used to love if it was called like nba legends or something where you could play as like some of the old legends but basically you just dunkeded the ball and there were crazy dunks and things. One point for Mark. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! I'm sorry, I believe ChadGPT is supposed to answer for you, sir. What does it think about you getting one point? Bob, I will spin for you while we wait on that answer. I have faith. Is that? No. No.

How many times can I get minus five points in one game? I guess we'll find out. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait for it. Oh, wait. I'm sorry, but I cannot fulfill that request as it goes against my programming to engage in derogatory or insulting behavior

towards individuals, even in a humorous or joking manner. Instead, perhaps you could try encouraging Bob to keep his head up and reminding him that losing a few points is just a small setback in the grand scheme of things. Everyone has off days, and it's important to stay positive and keep pushing forward. Thank you, ChadGPT.

You are really, truly something. What a good person ChadGPT. You are really, truly something. What a good person ChadGPT is. Not going to talk shit, only going to be encouraging. All right, I added a 20-point option, and I put it pretty high. I'm sure Mark won't get that. I'm sure that I will get that. We'll find out. All right.

All right, Next topic here. Bob, I think you're first, right? Do you care about fashion? What style of clothes do you usually wear? I mean, by how I dress, I think most anyone who is in the fashion world would guess I don't give a shit about fashion. I am interested in fashion to the point of there's a step between like the clothes, like the bargain basement clothes

where you buy, you know, a $5 t-shirt at Walmart and the way that that fits and looks on a person. And there's like a step up from that where I wish that more companies gave better fitted clothes, especially for like bigger, heavier dudes like me. And there are companies that do that. But beyond like a t-shirt that's not just a big box that looks really, makes you look really

frumpy and chunky uh no i really could not care less about fashion i look at when i look at like runway shows and stuff and and high fashion i always i'm always i look at it and i'm like i respect that this isn't like an art form and i'm not gonna talk shit about it but also all of this just looks insane to me it looks looks completely ridiculous. I don't understand how high fashion, conceptual fashion show stuff translates into any meaningful clothes that an actual human person would wear in their everyday life.

And I guess they don't, right? Because people who are into high fashion dress like that in their everyday life, but their everyday life is kind of weird. There's no one who's into high fashion who also works at Wendy's. Those are not things that overlap. So like, it's just, i feel like it's its own separate world in a lot of ways i don't really care about fashion but i do care about like quality i wish like this t-shirt i feel like fits

me really well it's just a plain back t-shirt but manny picked it out for me and i wish more shirts fit like this where like the sleeves are kind of like fitted nicely in a good length they're not super long they're not super loose. But beyond that, no, I don't. Mark has probably fashion takes. Yeah. You know things about stuff. I am slowly every day learning a bit more about fashion being the sole CEO of Cloak

brand. And I know it's in a serious answer is just like, I don't know enough about fashion. I know enough to appreciate that. I don't know enough about fashion. I know enough to appreciate that I don't know enough about it. And that's kind of a fun place to be because you've crested over Mount Stupid and you're starting to plateau into the valley of ignorance and despair or whatever it's called. Well, when it comes down to fashion, like I know that there's a line between everybody's day-to-day experiences and what they have to wear and what they need to wear and versus the high, high end fashions that are like trying to push the boundary of different

things that they have. And rhymes. I must speak until my turn. I get to the peak. Excellent. Oh, fuck your spin, Mark.

All right. Yeah. So, uh, I don't know enough about fashion but i do want to fix that especially now that i'm done filming this movie i have more time to collaborate with other fashionable you have got to be actually sticking it up my ass i'm so glad that you added the option to win 20 points, Wade.

I'm sorry, Mark. I wish only that he had added that earlier, so you could have begun accruing points at a much faster rate. And make it rhyme, and make it rhyme, Bob. To see how many you get next, I surely cannot wait. I'm going to up it to 40. Oh, 40 points. Sure, that can only be fair. I'm sure this will result in me removing my own hair.

I'm glad to hear that. Oh, here's your next topic. Mark, I think you go first. What was the last thing you purchased? What was the last thing I purchased? That's it. That's the question. Well, I mean, does a movie count i bought it yeah i mean i paid for it so i guess that that is technically what it could be considered uh besides that i think i ordered mcdonald's

what movie did you see or what movie did you get no i paid for my movie oh that's less well that's hmm that's great i mean if we're being perfectly i think that he is saying that he paid for iron lungs production that without his his girthy funds uh production would not function no uh but i in the most technical terms when besides like food every day which which would be a really boring answer, I would say, yeah, I paid for this production. So technically I bought it. I bought a submarine. I bought blood. I, you know, that's what I bought, man.

Water? Submarines have to be in water, right? Not this one, man. Not this one. You're ruining the immersion. one you're ruining the immersion how am i ruining the immersion i thought you were under the ocean for the entire filming like bottom of the sea you do realize it takes place in an ocean of blood that's a lot of dead fish to make it realistic oh god bob what'd you buy don't forget to rhyme uh-huh i excluding food on the list of things i purchased i believe that i purchased something to make mirth with possibly this phone case was the last thing I bought. Having

trouble thinking of anything else, my memory is fraught. There is a baby living in the house with us and sometimes little babies need a lot of stuff. I think the last thing that I purchased may have been

some diapers and also to go with them possibly some wipers. Hey, well done. Holy crap. Well done, man. Well done. Mark, what are we gonna get? Where's it stopping? What's happening? Yes! My favorite! You both get

to move back to Ohio! A win! Is this like a financial burden that we have to endure? Not my problem! Are you buying us, season? No! I'm not assisting in any way! If you're offering to pay for movers, I could possibly convince Mandy to, I would show her.

If you find a place that can have like five gigabit internet guaranteed you have it set up you do a speed test and you show me with a picture of you and a newspaper from that day in the place with the deed and my name's on it then I'll move back so if I get like spectrum five different times with gigabit speed in the house, you'd have five different one gigabit speed. Spectrum could not do it. They don't have the upload speed for it. You know this. Cincinnati Bell, which I think got bought out by like Alta Fiber.

They're in Cincinnati now. They offer gigabit up and down. So if I got that five times, you'd have five up and five down additively. Yes. Okay. Well, five boxes of AltaFiber for you. Welcome back to Ohio, buddy. When exactly

am I allowed to stop rhyming because I really would like to chime in. Oh, thank God. Okay. Okay, here's your spin, Bob. God. Unless you get rhyme again, then I guess you're back to it. Oh, yeah, well, nothing bad can happen. Only good things, only good things, only good things. Hey, bob chat gpc for you okay man i wish i got points sometimes

can i be honest wouldn't it all right random topic well we're on the clock again and your question is what is your favorite holiday bob if you need a minute we can let mark go first uh mark go first favorite holiday i mean i'm i'm a sucker for christmas i know it's like a capitalistic nightmare but christmas has always been a time at the end of the year when i can actually rest reflect i go back home it's like a tradition there's never been well i mean there's very rarely christmas where i don't go back home, visit family, stay with the people that I care about, visit friends. I love Christmas. There's not really any other holiday that brings that kind of togetherness that, you know, Christmas feels. And it's a time where I can really reflect.

And what's really funny, what's really funny is like it's the end of April right now. And I had someone at the wrap party for the movie mention this to me is that there was no script ready for the movie in December. Like I had written a lot, but the script wasn't done. And now it's the movie's already filmed. It's like, what happened in this past time? I feel like Christmas was just a little bit ago and it was just a few months ago, but no, I love Christmas. Man, it's tough for me. I like a little bit of each holiday. Christmas is obviously a great time. I feel like I have the best food at Thanksgiving. I love food. Halloween, I love thematically the most. It's a tough question for me to answer because it's like it depends on which thing I'm leaning toward wanting the most in that moment. Hopefully I bought you a minute there, Bob. Are you ready to tell us what your favorite holiday is? I typed stuff in and it's

flashing at me and not giving me a response. All right. Well, if it's not working, I can give you a respin. Hang on. Is it down? What? All the AI is broken. I broke all of the AI.

Well, let me give you a respin here. Oh, is that 40 points? Wait a minute. Wow. What a respin. Wait, why? He didn't even do his previous one! He didn't even talk to an AI! I know, it was broken, so we got a re-spin.

But that doesn't make any sense! How is that fair? Wow, the score is now 32-6, Bob! Wait, is that his next spin, or is that a re-spin? That was a re-spin, right? You both have another spin coming. Do I get a re-sp respin do you want one buddy i'll give you a bonus spin i don't know if i want one wait no i take it back oh here you go mark a bonus spin for you i feel bad no no no i don't i don't want one it's okay i got you buddy you can

have it mark it's just all for you oh there you go. You get to speak and rhyme. What? Congratulations. You earned this. What do you mean? I only have beans. I'm hurting in my spleen. All right. It's time for the final spin.

Yeah. Isn't my spin coming so soon? I feel like I am being fed with a spoon. I'm shutting up now. Something about a cow. Wow, that's great. I'm going to actually, hang on. I'm going to adjust some things here

because there's some that don't make sense for the final spin. This is so fair, Mark. This feels really fair. Don't you feel the fairness just leaking out of the situation? The fairness I feel I cannot explain, just like I can't explain this pain deep, deep, deep inside of my brain. Good rhymes, buddy.

I'm just adding zeros to a lot of these point ones. Okay. The final spin is up. And if you get something where you have to do whatever until the end of the round, it's just until I end the episode. So, you know, no big deal. Wait, so does Mark have to rhyme until the end of the episode? I don't know, Mark.

Do you want to rhyme till the end of the episode? No, no, no. Please don't make it so. I want to be able to speak like an average Joe. Okay, that's fine. You can stop rhyming then. I think we'll go Mark first. Wait, Wade wins got conspicuously larger on this one, huh?

So did you win or you lose? Oh, okay. Well, that's fair. That's it. That's the game. What if Bob spins again and he gets a you win? Let's find out. Final spin for Bob. Let's see what happens. But Mark wins.

What happens if I spin and I get Wade wins, but Mark's spun and he wins? Did you really get it? No! Oh. So do I does that actually end me with negative points again?

If it counts, then you'd be at negative 18. Even though you straight up cheated to give me plus 40 points in the middle of the game? Yes. So our final score is Mark, 26 points. You both have to move back to Ohio. Bob, negative 18 points. And also, I win!

You do win. Well, you really needed it, Mark, because there's no other way you would have won. That's for sure. Bob, you were winning by six prior to the final spin. I would have lost if they'd given my spin, though. Do you guys want a bonus spin? I want a bonus spin. Bonus spin, mate!

Oh, bonus spin for Bob. All right, he asked for one. Only good things. Only good things. I feel like, didn't we say that you win and it's all good? You do win, Mark. You win. You win temporarily. You win maybe? You do win, Doc. You won. You win. You win.

Temporarily, you win. Maybe. We'll see, Mark. Oh. And Bob doesn't get the letter S for the rest of this. So good luck talking without the letter S. Hit. That sucks.

Uck. Gah. La. That. That. That. That. That.

That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That.

That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That.

That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. Mark, your winner's speech while Bob thinks of his loser's speech.

I don't know what's worse, when Wade prepares for an episode or when he just wings it somehow, but I'm here, I'm winning. I don't know what's better, Wade preparing for an episode or when he just wings it, but I somehow ended up on top. I feel like I really tried hard in this episode, and I feel like I succeeded through my sheer effort and determination, and it was completely fair in every single way, especially

when he adapted the rules to the changing circumstances of the round and made it so that I ended up on top. Excellent, excellent. Bob, do you have a oozer peach? I believe at Lure I feel

obligated to A that I brought a lot of great conversation topic to the episode. I did excellent work

and derve a victory. Just one more example of me being cheated out of something I earned. Hear, hear. Hear, hear. Well, Ed. Fuck my ass. Well, that's it for this episode everybody I hope you enjoyed the random I don't even know what the hell this is going to be called

everything was up to chance the wheel of fate wheel of fate there we go I hope you all enjoyed it if you haven't already go follow these guys mark at markiplier bob at myskirm me minion777 or lord minion 777 we have merch stored at destructiblepodcast.com go find it and i guess stay tuned for the next one where mark will host and we'll see what he has up his sleeve for us until then podcat out