Distractible - These Are Gaffes?

Episode Date: October 9, 2023

The wickedly talented Wade enlists his contestants to find their favorite giraffes-- I mean gaffes, sorry. Find out if Mark and Bob actually listen to their host or if the episode becomes one big gaffe in itself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. This week, the gents are over the moon to entertain you. Heartbreaker Wade hosts and admits to remote dumping and deeply inappropriate fruit news. Big-hearted Bob talks bouncing babies and spikes poor translations. Mischievous Mark muses on flashing and shooting J.J. Abrams. From anamorphic voices to the Greeks bearing gifts. Yes, it's time for These are Gaffes. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm today's host, Wade. Welcome to the show where one of us hosts, two of us compete for points. The winner hosts the next episode. And as always, I'm joined by my two co-hosts, or contestants today, Mark and Bob. Hey boys. Hello. Hello.

How are you? Good. I'm really good. I have a funny thing. Oh no. Yeah, go on. It's funny at Mark's expense, which is the best kind of funny. Even better.

So, Mark, I got an email and a DM from this person. You might remember them. Maybe you don't. I don't know. Remember a person named Andrew McCarthy? Ah, I know who you're talking about. Do you remember this person? Yeah.

He's an astrophot astro photographer takes a lot of pictures of stuff especially like the moon yeah i got a message a dm on twitter from an andrew mccarthy that says hi i'm the moon man redditor mark was ranting about i'd love to send him a print as a thank you for the mention yes and so he could see how cool the moon really is since obviously my descriptive titles failed to convey that to him can you help so mark i am gonna get you a very large very high quality he has a good large format printer i think he said that somewhere maybe in the email that's not in that message and so that you can have that to appreciate it, Mark. Wow.

I will personally pay for it and make sure that it gets to you. You can put it up on the wall behind you. Then you wouldn't have an empty room behind you like some kind of sociopath. Yep. This is true. So Andrew McCarthy just wants you to know that he heard what you said and he he thinks that you just don't understand why those moon pictures are so cool and what's so great about he thinks that you just need help understanding yeah yeah what i need they were great pictures of the moon mark i honestly think

maybe if you saw it in person it would change your mind yeah well just be sure to ask which picture he's gonna send i know he has so many and they're so different so. Yeah, well, just be sure to ask which picture he's going to send. I know he has so many and they're so different. So it's like, I just want to make sure it's really the one that's the best. Because how can you choose the plethora of pictures there are? Well, maybe we'll have to send you more than one, Mark.

Maybe we'll have to work on a collection for you. Maybe one big one, but then maybe like a book or something so that you could have them all there in front of you the the andrew james mccarthy moon book is page after page of like it's huge paragraphed on the left same picture of the moon on the right flip flip wow flip flip flip i like the idea of the whole book, but every paragraph, every explanation is like, now Mark, this picture was taken. But it's a publicly sold book.

It's just addressed directly to you the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good, man. Shout out to Andrew. That is a big upstanding move. I think everyone should go, what do you do on Reddit? Like his posts?

Thumbs up? You should go Reddit that. Yeah. Yeah, do the positive reddit things on all the moon pictures i actually don't i think he posted on reddit he sent me a dm and an email and that was the dm and the email i think had some other info in it or something but it's probably on reddit if you search andrew james mccarthy on reddit you can find all of his space photos everyone but mark loves them yeah uh-huh mark Yeah. Uh-huh. Mark hates them. Yeah. Okay. Inexplicably.

He hates the moon. I don't hate the moon. He loves space, except for anything in space. Right, Mark? Yeah. That's it. Now you're nailing down my phobias. Hating space with Markiplier.

Sorry, is that a spoiler for the next show? I can delete that post. Very, very funny. Very topical. This is great stuff, man. This is great. Great start to an episode. Bob, you know what? Five points to Andrew. And he earned them. I agree. Mm-hmm. Very topical. This is great stuff, man. This is great. Great start to an episode. Bob, you know what?

Five points to Andrew. And he earned them. I agree. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. In fact, I should give him like 500 points. Go for it. An unlimited amount of points to Andrew.

We don't know. It's never ending bucket. One point for every post, really. So God knows how many points he gets. One point for every moon that there is. Oh, wait. I don't know the answer to that. Thank you, Bob.

That was very nice. How are you guys doing in your personal lives? Are things going well? Anything exciting going on? Anything you want to small talk segue? I mean, really, what is there to talk about? Nothing's happening in the world or my life. And we've covered these topics a thousand times. So people aren't interested in what's going on in our worlds they're definitely not interested that's for sure james is kind of walking now not oh not on his own but he has a little thing that he pushes that he holds on to he can walk around with that is he already that age where he's supposed to be walking around like he's a little bit ahead of the game on that one but yeah that's

kind of he's in that area he's nine months Around a year is when I think my understanding is a lot of babies will start to stand up on the, like lean on the couch and scoot around or have a little walkie thing and walk around. So yeah, he's sitting there. That feels like in my brain, one of the most dangerous times for children is when they first start to walk and they're like stumbling around everywhere. It's very dangerous. He's already taken a couple of pretty good spills but uh he'll learn from the pain we all do but he will he'll eventually learn from that we'll get there that's what my mom

said after my first bad breakup you'll learn not to do that again well i had a couple of breakups but you know they got better each time hey this is enough about me it was enough wait what was your best breakup let's talk about that yeah what was the best one and name names real life names look the relationships never end pretty i broke some hearts i had my heart broken a couple times the scales balanced look you learn and you grow i think as long as you take something from each relationship and you try to be better yourself it kind of takes two to tango relationships like her dog or her bank account login you take something valuable yeah take her family take her tub of what was it in the last tub of glue in the garage 10 gallon tub of glue yeah 10 gallon yeah oh no sorry bucket was the titular word sorry mark no Mark. No, yes, yes.

Very, very, very funny. Yeah, look, I'm not going to laugh. My first breakup, I hate to admit, I broke up with her over the phone. No, I got broken up with over the phone, and then I paid it forward in my next relationship and broke up with someone over the phone. Is that bad? I think so. I think you're supposed to have more courage to do it in person, face to face.

I don't have a lot of breakups, so I don't know. I don't know what that accomplishes, but that's what you're supposed to have more courage to do it in person. Face to face. I don't have a lot of breakups. I don't know what that accomplishes, but that's what you're supposed to do. Face to face sounds much harder to me. I don't like that. The next one was a combination of over the phone and face to face. And then the one after that, I got broken up with face to face. That was awful. But hey, you know, the past of the past. I'm happy.

You guys are happy. Well, now I'm depressed so why did you bring all this up how are you gonna break up wait wait wait wait how are you gonna break up with molly shut up not till death do us part oh so death then ah that's how all right we don't know spoilers come on who's gonna who's gonna die who's gonna die first Who's gonna die first? Ah, come on. What, are you gonna kill the other one? Well, I believe if I ever try to make her move again, I will die. Pretty sure I'm the one on the chopping block. Well, good thing that'll never happen.

I'll die. I think I'll die. I'm one. I think it's a hint to how he's gonna end it, you know? Kind of Texas Chainsaw Massacre style. I've not played that. That game came out. In Texas, where the chainsaws are never mind that's a whole nother topic i could get into who's hosting this episode me hi oh okay yeah doesn't make sense how it stayed off the rails

so far and i'm the host actually yeah that does track well i was you know giving you all the floor to set the stage but we can jump right into it i was actually talking to you bob about this like a little while ago and i just kept laughing and i want to keep laughing today's episode i want us to dig deep and just find i have a niche rant i've been busting at the seams i literally have something so niche that no one cares about are you gonna piss your pants right now do i have to honor that no no no no no you wait you were given the opportunity why did you have to wait to then interrupt because no one wants to hear about my random interests you know that i love hearing about your niche rants it's usually about something i'm interested in so why if no

one wants to hear about it why bring it up and why bring it up right as i'm announcing the topic look i because i have to talk about i have to i have floor is yours all right thank you okay i want to talk about anamorphic lenses okay can i discuss this for a little bit i don't know uh i did the book series where they turn into like a cat yes yeah it's lenses when you look at it your your friends and family around you'll start to turn into animals. It shows what animal they really are. Tobias was a hawk. He didn't morph back in time. He got stuck. Was that a part of the story?

I don't remember anything. That's canon. I only looked at the covers. I never read any of the books, so I can't say that I know. Jake, Rachel, Marco, Lauren, Axel. What was the name of the... Anyway, go ahead. Okay, cool.

All right, so anamorphic lenses, right? Some people are really, really particular about anamorphic lenses, right? And I haven't exactly shot anything on an anamorphic lens. I have a very basic rule set when it comes to filming something with an anamorphic lens, and I'm not going to explain what an anamorphic lens is

to those that don't know. You're going to have to look it up. We all know, everybody. We all know what We all know. Anamorphic lenses. Exactly, right? So, all right, long story short, anamorphic lenses, they squeeze the image from the sides. They compress the image, and then that places more information on the sensor, and then in post, you de-squeeze it to go back to the size that it was.

So spherical lenses lenses normal lenses that probably most people have encountered there on your phone they just capture a circular image whereas anamorphic takes that circular image and then compresses it sideways in the lens itself so it bends the light down when you let go sometimes you can still see your fingerprints on it and it doesn't like fully expand right away it has like little ridges for a few minutes exactly like that yes 100 that's so in line with what i was talking about anyway i want to talk about barrel distortion right in anamorphic lenses everyone always says that barrel distortion is the more desirable distortion in an anamorphic lens but me personally i don't even really like what most people like about anamorphic looks. With all the big flares and all the lights going.

Whenever you see, you know, like any J.J. Abrams movie, like Star Trek or anything. I was just thinking Star Trek, right? Exactly. You know, Star Trek was like unwatchable because so many lights were just. You couldn't see anything. And actually, he added more in post to that movie because that guy just loves lens flares that usually happens because of anamorphic lenses they have more glass elements inside so more surfaces with which to catch light if light

shines directly in the lens and it makes it really hard to see what's going on and makes it super obscure and i don't like it and another part of this thing that a lot of people really like is like oh you Gotta have the barrel distortion It's got to be curved inward barrel distortion means like think of it like you know the barrel of a you know looking through like If you picked up your 10 gallon barrel and look through reality through that I Hope this is all just a long like detraction to like say by the way my movie will be all anamorphic lens flares no it will not be because it's not you have to shoot it before and to do that um but there are some things that i believe anamorphic is strong for i believe that if you're doing a widescreen movie

meaning beyond 16 by 9 you should shoot it anamorphic because doing it anything otherwise just means you put black bars at the top of the bottom to fake it. I believe that is an inferior look to things. And you're not getting the actual benefits of anamorphic for that. But I'm like, why do people like extreme barrel distortion? Because honestly, barrel distortion looks bad. It looks bad. When it's overdone, it makes it just seem like you're in a dream sequence. Because everything is so hyper-curved around the sides. And I i'm just like there are ways that you could tastefully do this but people that just

like anamorphic because they're like dirty demon so much i fucking hate it i agree i'm not even a barrel guy i prefer crates i'm a i'm a crate stortion thank you anyway i i have and this is coming from an extreme place of ignorance because i'm only just now starting to get into the anamorphic world um and i like obviously i don't know everything that i'm talking about but i've done enough filming projects to know what i like and i do not like such something so extreme that it obscures anything that you see on screen and it distracts from what you're doing if it enhances the story that you're telling that is the purpose of these tools and it's not necessarily you should embrace just something because oh these these effects are what you want all the time no there is a certain moment for a certain look and you

get that certain look for the moment that you need it and you don't globally apply rules to everything because situations change all the time can i ask you a question mark do you consider yourself intelligent oh yeah no i figured out what's going on here okay bob started this by saying that you were going to get sent a picture of the moon. And then all of a sudden you have a rant about how you hate anamorphic barrel distortion lenses. And you bring up JJ Abrams. Are you trying to get him to send you a lens? Whoa.

Whoa. Did I just solve? Just hold on now. Mark hates the moon and Mark hates lens. And then suddenly I get a free picture of the moon. What? Yeah. Maybe you just don't. You haven't seen the right and Mark hates lens. And then suddenly I get a free picture of the moon. What? Yeah, maybe you just don't. You haven't seen the right lens.

Hang on. Let Mr. Abrams send you a good lens. An official. Yeah, an official JJ lens. He's going to hear this and be like. You know how he talks. I can't believe. Man, if he wasn't go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,

go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, Man, if he wasn't going to send a lens before, he will now. That's how he talks. It's not funny. It's not a bit. That's just how All the interviews I've seen, it's like I can't even tell if he's in the room right now or not. Look, email Bob. Give him a Reddit post.

Whatever it takes. We'll take your lenses, I guess. Mr. JJ. Can we call you Mr. JJ? Yes, you can. Man, even his voice has a lens flare in it. He's got one of those anamorphic voices. Oh, yeah, yeah.

All right. Anyway, rant over. Mark, if everyone likes it, why don't you like it i have no reason to have an opinion on this because i i have if i haven't shot anything with an anamorphic lens who am i to even talk but your eyes have been assaulted with barrel distortion wait till your 2027 movie lens flare comes out i'm gonna give no points but i appreciate the long con you tried to pull there and i hope it worked i i like the rant but this was one where i actually didn't know enough to completely follow along with you i was thinking of a barrel cut filet which is like 12 ounces and that's all i

had in my brain this whole time i'm very hungry that sounds great right now anyway it's funny because the only people that know enough to know what i'm talking about disagree with me probably not to pat ourselves on the back but jj ab Abrams is definitely a known viewer of our podcast. I'm not talking about J.J. I'm talking about the few people that know anamorphic lenses and have worked with them before. Oh, K.K. Mabrums, our viewers. Our viewers are just all just like K.K. Mabrums, B.B. Dabrums. Do you mean A.H. Abrams?s oh i thought it was lele maybram

are you on pp padrums i call him trip trip p triple p i'm gonna i'm gonna jump in here and uh i'm gonna unless there's another rant i'm gonna announce the topic and we're gonna we're gonna move on you don't wait i think you're safe to move on all right well i have a niche rant sorry no wait sorry i don't i just had to do that i'm sorry i mean i could i could rant more about niche things you wanna you wanna no it's not the topic but no it's you know it's not actually it's it's not this light i fuck this light you fucked it Maybe that's why he keeps turning on and off, Mark. Maybe it's mad at you. We're all haunted.

We learned this. Okay, I don't know. I don't know what's happening. What I would do is I would fuck the light's daughter. Ah. Public gaffes. Funny public gaffes is the topic. Oh, okay.

Here's an example. No, I got a better example. Molly's from Minnesota. And soon after we started dating a minnesota newspaper the mankato free press i believe uh decide to publish a food article about grapefruit and how good it is with every meal the problem i will send this to you too so you can see it the problem was that um instead of putting the g in grapefruit they put a picture of a slice of grapefruit and so the title of the article does

not look like it says grapefruit oh and then it says good for every meal underneath and this caused some uproar and holy jeez who thought that looked good poorly executed i would say grapefruit is not even a kind of fruit yeah yeah it could be a c it's definitely not a g whatever it is but um you can just use your imaginations it's not a good look but um it was an embarrassing time for the free press of mankato and uh we get some good laughs out of it i feel like that that rides the line for me between embarrassing and just like incompetence because that is i could see how you could look at that and be like oh man someone's getting in trouble. But also like, that's kind of like not a topic that you want to edge up against.

It feels like a last minute, like we need to do something to like get this article to pop. What if we just place the G with a picture of grapefruit? Yeah, do that. Okay, cool. Let's print it. Like there probably wasn't a lot of like thorough thought about that. It doesn't take many eyes to look at that and think it's a good idea.

That's just an example. There are tons out there of just gaffes that have happened over the course of the years that have been public things they don't always have to be funny but i i definitely prefer the funny ones where it's like let's let's find some funny gaffes i have some funny ones. I got hilarious ones. I have a genre of public gaffe that I want to cover. A whole genre? Interesting. Okay, well, Mark also says it's interesting, so I guess we'll have you go first. I really like when large companies who have products that are sold around the world in

different markets have marketing where they try and translate a phrase or a slogan from one language to another language that's so hard to work out right some some turn of phrase especially in english because english has all kinds of weird stuff where it's like a set of words in english where if you say to an english speaker makes a hundred percent sense and it but it doesn't mean anything that the words you know actually might mean by their book definitions but when you translate that some of some of the funniest ones these are also some of the most commonly known so people might have heard these pepsi once had a slogan that was come alive with pepsi not the

coolest hippest slogan but sure slogan it was translated from english to i'm not sure what to chinese mandarin i guess i'm not sure anyway it was translated and the rough translation uh that it turned out to say in the other language was pepsi will bring back your ancestors from the dead they will come alive with pepsi so that didn't make as much sense when they google translated their slogan from English into Chinese. But also, I mean, these are famous, right? This one, Purdue Chicken had one.

Apparently the slogan was really long and awkward. It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken. But it translated to Spanish as it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate just doesn't even not even close guys like oh the aroused man i get so that's the thing too right and if it's an american company which most of my i think all of these are english to spanish should be one that i think american companies should be able to cope with we have a spanish-speaking nation on our border we are very close to central america south america as well like a lot of american products probably get sold to people who speak spanish or other languages for south america but like does it show you the actual words they used in spanish no this

is more of like a list of top hits this isn't fuerte strong i speak german i don't okay sorry i took four years like 10 years ago and i remember the word fuerte but like i don't know the word for aroused what did they never mind i don't want to know what they use to translate that they probably were just like google it translate done look you're gonna have to do your own research if you want to know well look so this is one we all as americans who grew up in our generation, know. Got milk? Apparently, when that was initially translated to Spanish, the meaning was, are you lactating? Which I don't think quite captures the essence of the got milk slogan. I could see how that gets translated like that, but you can't let it go out like that.

I don't see how any of these get translated like that. You would just think that the answer to this would be like, hey, do you know anyone that speaks Spanish? Hey, do you know anyone that speaks Chinese? If the person you're at your company who you're having do the translation is like, yeah, no, I can translate that to Spanish. Let's see what got milk. Como estas?

Maybe that person should not be responsible for doing the translation it's it's the modern day equivalent of just like slapping it in google translate and not checking what that means literally yeah i like i get that there could be oopsies but some of these are like come on this is this will be the last one there are a bunch of these but this is my favorite one ford had a slogan every car has a high quality body fairly part of some marketing stuff i already okay it's translated um in a number of languages into every car has a high quality corpse okay didn't see that one coming not gonna lie i thought i was going one direction it went the other which really brought some interesting characters out of the woodwork but all in all did not capture a lot

of the market's attention uh but there's a bunch of these and like how how does that how how do you do that that's so stupid i know how this happens this actually i not this exact thing but i encountered basically the seeds of this occurring in the company that i worked with as an intern uh when i was in engineering school um basically i was been working there for a while and i had a like a senior engineer that was doing some reviews of some engineering documents um and these get translated in different languages for people like the the product was sold on the international market so it was sold around the world so the documentation had uh different languages. And he was in charge of all of them. This one guy was in charge of coordinating the translation and updating of every single document in every single language.

Just one dude. And he apparently wasn't given the resources or like freedom to be like, yeah, source, hire a language interpreter. He was just an intern. No, he was a senior. I said he was a senior level engineer. I said that. Yeah, a senior in college level engineer. Got it.

Intern. I was the intern. I was the intern. Anyway, so he discovered like halfway through my internship that I was half Korean. So I get like suddenly called into his office one day. He's like, I have a perfect job for you. He's like, here.

He hands me a big stack of papers it's a korean translation of the entire instruction booklet just hands it to me he's like i need you to take this versus the english version and check to make sure that it's all correct and update it as necessary and like i was like i i don't i don't i know he just assumed you spoke. He assumed I spoke. Yeah, exactly. And I literally said at the time, I was just trying to make it work. I was like, I could run it by my mom. My mom, who would have no idea what technical engineering documentation would say or how to translate it properly.

She probably could do a pretty good job, but definitely not enough to be able to do anything and so like that is how it happens you have one person that's in charge of like translating everything because the company is completely ignorant to the actual task at hand and the person doing it is like well i gotta get it done somehow so i'll ask that intern you know like anyone of any ethnicity around here so every country thought our cars came with a 10 bucket gallon of glue because our intern's mom translated it and I guess messed up. Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah.

So then they just fall back on the easiest thing, which right now, the translator is getting better. So we're going to get less hilarious situations like that as time goes on. But yeah, that's how it happens. Every car comes with a corpse might be one of the worst possible. Why did he get to go four times? I didn't even get one. I covered a whole genre. Well, he doesn't get to take the whole...

And you said, interesting. I said so much... I added... Fuck you! I haven't even assigned points and you're already protesting. Fuck you! Speaking of protesting,

that segues into my gaffe, which is probably the greatest gaffe of our generation. protesting that segues into my gaffe which is probably the greatest gaffe of our generation so the date is november 7th of 2020 what day is this strong start strong start okay yeah no november 7th of 2020 a press conference is held at four seasons total landscaping i want to talk to you guys about the funniest press conference that ever occurred because Rudy Giuliani, four days after the election, held the press conference to talk about the injustice of the, you know, the election. And he and his team somehow booked what they thought was a Four Seasons hotel, but in reality was a small local company called four seasons total landscaping and the pictures from it are

just the the funniest pictures of them trying to make it work where there's like you see posters behind it on the garage door and they're trying to make it look so official and it's just like the situation to get into this position i think is just so damn funny not just that they didn't get there and then turn around immediately being like, oh shit, this isn't the Four Seasons Hotel. Hey, let's get out of here. The fact that they stayed there, made all the reporters come there, and then did the entire press conference in front of just a normal-ass industrial building

as if no one would see how they made this error. It's like, no, we intended to go here at this local business because that's what we support. When in reality, they intended to go to the Four Seasons Hotel. That is just one of the funniest pictures. I don't know. I'm sure I might have seen this at the time, but. It got glossed over a lot because of, you know, all the other things that were occurring. But the imagery is

pretty funny funny story surrounded in the midst of a bunch of stuff that was not so comedic at exactly yes the garage door with just the no that's such a good i agree i like that one it's like they're trying to own it that really gets me i love the wide picture of all it's like the ring of reporters and everyone with their cameras it's so funny but i guess you know that's just one i have i have another but it's not i can't own that category i guess whatever i don't know where the hostility is coming from because i have literally not even assigned a point yet whatever you just you let him plow through it's a discussion format you plow through and dominate the conversation and i was just left in the back seat just waiting for my turn like oh the host will let me talk at some point well rather than accuse me of being a bad

host why don't you just tell me what your other one is all right cool all right so the year is 2012 what you said i could and then go for it but why are you doing all the oh this guy this jerk here i'm going because you go from this to all right the year was 2012 the switch in personality is just so severe well because i'm going can i go all right all right go i'll be respectful go all right can i go the year is 2012 actually i don't know if the year is 2012 i'm not 100 sure when this occurred all i know is that the whole campaign was about 2012 do you guys remember coney 2012 yes so you probably know where i'm going with this the person who was in charge of coney 2012 which i have no idea like it was this big campaign to like rally the internet to be all about this problem that i believe uh by the time uh coney

2012 was catching on it either had already been solved or it was about something i don't even really remember because the campaign was like trying to call attention to a very serious problem right i don't know what this is you don't know what this is you don't you don't remember no i don't know that i ever knew about this to be fair if i go back to 2012 that was one of the most tumultuous up and down years of my life i probably wasn't paying that much attention to what was going on in the world that year okay so to give a synopsis for everyone about coney 2012 coney 2012 was actually it was an admirable thing um because the the whole campaign was to raise attention for like um children enslavement and like you know like uh kids that are put in like labor camps and stuff

like this and like like major violent crisis that was occurring um And it's like it was for a nonprofit called Invisible Children. And I can't remember exactly what was the specific thing that went wrong, but it went super viral. It went over viral, like everyone like in around the Internet knew about it, heard about it, had contributed to it. And I can't remember exactly where it went wrong or I believe the story to get to the point where all of it went wrong um is a much longer tale than i could tell but the gaff uh is the person behind this campaign naked in the streets of i believe san francisco on a street corner slamming the ground with both hands and then screaming to the heavens at the top of his lungs. All,

like I said, butt naked, screaming, raging at the universe. What? Where? Why? Ow?

What's all of it right now? Yeah, no. So many questions. This was all, you know, made sense. Okay. This is a big thing.

I see. What led, what happened? No, that is the exact thing that most people experience because most people saw coming 2012 yeah that sounds like a good campaign i'll contribute i'll share and then you know they forget about it because that's how a lot of these things go you get busy and then the next thing that a lot of people heard was founder of coney 2012 viral video uh naked in the street shouting

at the sky were they okay like did something what do you think i'm just wondering what took them from like fundraising to nude pavement pounding i feel like something exists in the middle that led from one to the other well bob you got an arbitrary amount of points mark i'm gonna give you two points for that because i'm confused and you know bob you might have more points you might have less points i never got to assign them out loud so we'll never know yeah it's really it's really um i'll give you a synopsis of what it was it was there was a lot of criticisms that were saying the video itself was an oversimplification of like a complex issue that's a quote that i have um here um and people were just like you know it it's a thing that like suffered of like

getting out there too much a lot of people were saying like it glossed over the actual problems the delicacies the nuances whatever it was like a week and then a week after it went super viral or whenever you could really say that was is um yeah the the guy was naked walking around yelling obscenities i get it from From the pressure of the public shaming. Well, two points. I don't even care who goes. Do you guys have some more? Bob, you guys? Mark, to steal your category,

talking about political gaffes, I have a real throwback. Is it Howard Dean? Maybe. I'm stealing it! Yeah! It's 2004. The of january 19th democratic presidential hopeful howard dean gives a speech impassioned on stage in bunch of uh in front of a bunch of people oh so if you don't know this uh the howard dean scream also known apparently as

the i have a scream speech hopeful candidate for president, Howard Dean was giving a speech. And I think the context of this one makes it even funnier to me. So he's giving a speech and he's just like really worked up, right? And in this speech, he's talking about the states that they're gonna go to. The speech is given during the primaries, basically,

where you're going from state to state. They're voting on whether or not you are he or other people are going to be the republican nominee for president so he's talking about which states they're going to go to and he's like screaming and the and the crowd is screaming i think it's the thing the context that gets lost in this and he's like yeah we're gonna go to new hampshire and we're gonna go to vermont and he does this scream where when you hear just the audio of the scream, it's kind of like, and you get like, when you hear it, when you hear the recording of it, it's like, that's a little crazy. That's a little unhinged. But the context that's completely forgotten and

that the audio recording of it doesn't pick up is that he's on a stage in front of a crowd of people who were all yelling. The people who were there, like his staff who were there, couldn't hear the scream. He screamed into the microphone, but it was such a loud crowd and he had had them up so much. He was like, we're going to win. We're going to go and do it. And we're going to do the thing. And he just screamed.

No one there heard him scream at all. He was just yelling along with a huge crowd of supporters who were all yelling. But the audio recording only captured his microphone so the the clip is him with no no background audio or crowd of people or anything and he just goes he does like yeah it's like the it's like a great like it's really unfair but also that didn't cause his campaign to fail he had already come in like third place or something in the iowa caucuses or something he he was not winning or leading at that point but it really spiraled down after that for howard dean and so it kind of became known as the

scream that haunted his campaign ended his campaign and kind of ended his political career a little bit because after that he didn't really do too much uh but anyway mark did not steal that one and the howard dean scream is a is an iconic american political gaffe that i think everyone can laugh at because it's kind of funny i think that it's so funny that at this point you know we can look back at that i mean like one scream ruined his entire campaign which is not technically true but at the same time it's like that was the standard for ending a campaign back then when in reality like that was one of the first viral things that i saw i remember like on um oh what was the site oh god you're the man now dog there was a bunch of edits on y t m n d dot com that had that scream and various like remixes of that this was like i don't know if you guys remember you're the man now dog

i do vaguely but i used to yeah it was a very strange website with very limited functionality where whenever anyone wanted to make like a new thing on the site they had to register like a new subdomain inside ytmnd.com where it was like your post dot ytmnd.com it's very jank like it didn't make any sense at all um but i remember seeing tons tons of things on that site about that screen and they were funny like some of them were very funny i liked a lot what a weird roundabout way to get memes it reminds me the the whole story reminds me whenever we were doing the you're welcome tour i think it was one of our first

shows in europe and we had gotten so used to rowdy crowds in the US and our show was based on laughter. So a lot of things revolved around people laughing. And I forget where it was that we did this show, but like we have a whole section like don't laugh for the audience. If they laugh, we've replaced the actor and the crowd never really laughed. They stayed almost like eerily silent throughout the whole show. And the whole time we were like, we're really not funny. Like we were questioning, like, are we funny or is it like what we don't are we just really not hitting like we're not landing is it what was wrong and then we got to the end of the the show and everyone stood and gave us like a standing ovation one of the loudest we'd ever heard i guess it's just a respect thing

when you watch a show they're like they don't make noise during the show but i can also imagine like you taking audio of us during that show the cough that would happen it's like they made a noise swap actors us just panicking like trying to figure out how to do our little bits like with the silence that was happening i don't know why the scream made me think of that but that's what it reminded me of us just like waiting for any speck of noise or shuffling to be like something happened change out ethan you're out something like anything the point is of that game also for those who have not seen it before is that we were trying to talk about really dark depressing things and and in the hopes that eventually it'll get silly and people will laugh so what it ended up also was we were

on stage just talking about really depressing topics with the intention of it being ridiculous just to dead silence so we were talking about things that out of context would be truly terrible to hear. Death, dismemberment, and destruction and no one no one left. Like a funeral but not a funeral. Yes. Bob, good one that wasn't stolen. Thanks, I'll go again. I'd like

to steal another genre. Gaffes affecting pageants and or beauty contests okay i think this is another iconic one that many people are probably aware of and this one is funny both because of the cringy way that it played out and was corrected but also because of who it is and that he's just kind of a funny person in general and the way he reacts to things and announces things the man who made the gaffe is also the current host of family feud the man himself mr steve harvey and he is hilarious and

his reactions to people on family feud when they're like you know they say stuff that's like oh my mom's butt cheeks and whatever and he's always like what he has good facial reaction that's true but yeah he's a funny guy but in 2015 steve harvey was the host for the last time in his career of the miss universe competition and it came everything went down it all came to the very end and at the the exact most pivotal moment he read the wrong name for the ultimate winner of the 2015 Miss Universe competition. He read out loud on stage that Miss Columbia had won Miss Universe. They put the crown on that girl's head.

They gave her flowers. The confetti fell from the ceiling. The crowd cheered and cheered. Steve Harvey realized what he had done as all this raucous stuff was happening and just sort of wandered off stage and was like oh and just like left and after all of that the hype of winning miss universe he came back out and they like announced it and they had to take the crown off of the first girl's head and put it on to the actual winner and like after the fact he said like oh well they gave me the names in a different

order or something and it was a misunderstanding but it's just such a classic like you gotta you gotta read man you gotta read the words that's a great topic i'm gonna steal that category he does not get full ownership of it because a similar thing at a more prestigious award ceremony, I think, the Academy Awards in 2017, when they announced the winner of Best Picture, and I watched it all happen, and I saw the shame in their eyes. They said, as they opened the envelope,

La La Land! La La... That's right, in 2017 at the Oscars, they said La La Land, and La La Land and the entire cast of Coup went up on stage and they walked up there, and they were like, and they were like, oh boy, Then the officials came out in all their robes and stuff in their their crowns They had crowns because they were like in charge of the Academy gods and overlords and they walked in they ripped it They actually ripped cut the hands off of the actor I think Emma what's her Emma Emma?

off of the actor. I think Emma, Emma, Emma, they cut her hands off because she wouldn't let go of it and they had to give it over to Moonlight, which actually won.

Can you guys approach the bench for a moment? Is there... I'm going to steal this category with an even older and even more important Oscar scap in 2014 at the Academy Awards.

John Travolta had the honor of giving, introducing the singer of then hit song Let It Go to sing the song live at the Academy Awards. But he did not even attempt to pronounce Idina Menzel's name correctly. He basically just farted out some random sounds and it was not her name at all. And it was the most embarrassing flub introduction.

Way more embarrassing than that thing mark was talking about and also it still confuses google because people try and figure out like wait what is that what's her actual name wait is that her real name way better way more embarrassing than mark circling back to the beauty pageant route which is the better topic and i'm stealing it all back i forget who it was but there was an someone that was asked a question about something in the Middle East, and they kept saying, like, I think I'll be Iraq, and then we should do that. And I can't remember what it was, but it was so famous, everyone knows what I'm talking about anyway. It was famous. You're right.

That thing I was talking about, Miss South Carolina, could not come up with an answer to a very simple geopolitical question. She just said, um, and I a lot, and such as. And speaking of such as, and being very famous, just three weeks ago, more topical, which the more topical, the better for the gaff, I think, because it's more fresh in people's minds. And I believe that I believe that that should be a word more points. Elon Musk or his way, you know, Ellen was driving and live streaming while he was testing out the Tesla's autopilot software to showcase how safe it was, ran a red light. His car tried to go through a red light. He had to intervene in the middle of a live stream that he was doing in the car to show off how safe it was.

And it desperately tried to run that red light and he had to stop it. And then he reportedly went back to his engineers and said in a very loud, authoritative, genius like tone, you need to program this right it's me saying ellen musk also a gaff is that a double gaff can i have the points for it if it is that's really wade's gaff someone will get points for it sure well speaking of ellen you know ellen degenerate is a pretty well-known talk show host but i think possibly the best known talk show host of all time oprah is the most topical and interesting place where you could possibly have a gaffe.

And in 2005, Tom Cruise was talking to Oprah about his relationship with Katie Holmes. It was a big obsession of the tabloids and Oprah interviewed him over the summer of 2005 and wanted all the juicy details. And Tom just went crazy. He grabbed Oprah's hands. He was jumping up and down on the couch next to Oprah, just screaming like, I love Katie.

I love Katie Hobbs. It's so funny. It has several references in Family Guy and other comedy shows. Scary Movie 3 or 4. Craziest talk show gaffe of all time. And it has Oprah in it. Craziest talk show host of all time. I think that talk show is such an inferior form of television when Saturday Night Live is clearly the most superior one and most opportune for gaffes. Remember Ashley Simpson? Bet you don't, because her career was over after the year of 2004 of Our Lord.

She was lip syncing her way to success. But after the commercial break returned to do another song and the first song of that night played all over again, clearly indicating that Ashley Simpson was not singing. And then she did her infamous Ashley Simpson shuffle. Uh, just an awkward dance as the rest of the song slowly played out live for everyone to see. Pretty much immediately ended her career at that moment. On the topic of pop stars having gaffes, possibly the most famous pop star of all time, Mariah Carey. Maybe not pop star R&B.

What genre is she? I don't know. The genre of Mariah Carey has got to be way bigger than Ashley Simpson, though. Way bigger than SNL because it was on New Year's Rockin' Eve 2016. bigger than SNL because it was on New Year's Rockin' Eve 2016. Mariah Carey literally phoned in a performance so hard, and it was partially because of technical problems and all kinds of other stuff, but she phoned in a lip-syncing performance so hard that it was embarrassing in the moment. They immediately issued, after the performance was over, a response, apology, issued after the performance was over a like response apology

slinging blame at Dick Clark because it's his rockin' eve well I gotta tell you like Mariah Carey pales in comparison to the the pop star known as Shakira who I must say

has never made a gaffe in her entire life not a single one in the entire career she's ever spanned. Period. Okay, I was waiting for the but, and those hips don't lie. They never do and they never will. Knock on wood. Well, if we're just throwing one in.

Speaking of Oprah, Tom Cruise was in love in the year of 2005 and right on the show broke oprah's wrists in half is this a bit or did you not hear me what yeah i did i just said this one huh oh right yeah that was it that one that i said that you're doing that one you're just reminding wade that i said that yeah yeah yeah i said that yep i said that but you didn't mention the fact that literally snapped her arms at the wrist. And I have video proof of this. From the movie. Scary movie.

No, no, no. It was from a television broadcast. Oh, okay. No, no, no. It happened. Yes, I have it right here. I'm going to look at it. You don't need to see it.

It's occurring. Speaking of Shakira, on the topic of pop singers with one name uh everybody remembers in 2018 when fergie sang the national anthem at uh an nba at the all-star game the nba all-star game 2018 and the performance was of a slow jazzy version of the star spangled banner the national anthem and it was so bad that they kept panning over to like the players standing you know standing in respect while she was singing and the players were like making faces it was so painful and fergie is a decent singer fergie can't sing this is not like like uh she couldn't handle it type of deal uh she just was too fergalicious to rehearse for this performance i guess in the year 1912 a boat

captain of the maiden voyage of the titanic blinked once and then before you know it rammed that ship right into an iceberg one of the biggest gaffes of that century i'd say you could have come with the calls it unsinkable part but yeah let let's just go with the funny accident, boat crash. Speaking of boat gaffes, I have a much better boat gaffe. Oh, I bet. Uh-huh. Six days spent wedged sideways in the middle of the Suez Canal. The ever-given cargo ship that nearly brought the world's economy to its knees just

because that silly boat captain couldn't keep his ship from getting wedged in there they had to dig out the whole thing it was hilarious it was also pretty pretty rough economically and financially for a lot of people but it was a big meme uh well wedge for six days way to copy the story of in april 2003 when avid mountaineer aaron ralston went hiking in utah's canyon canyonlands national park without telling anyone and got his arm wedged in a rock for 127 hours is that six days it's almost six days it's five plus some change so it's less than mine well i say yours wasn't maybe it wasn't that six days it's almost six days it's five plus some change so it's less than mine well i say yours wasn't maybe it wasn't exactly six days either i'm saying that it was it was more than six days i don't think it was actually i don't know if the length of time that things

are stuck is affecting the gap plus it was just an arm arms are tiny you know how many arms can fit on a cargo ship do you hundreds if not thousands of arms almost definitely could fit on a cargo ship at least a 10 gallon bucket of arms if you get a 10 gallon bucket of arm lube you could pack as many in there as you'll slip right in that door well i know how many uh arms would fit end to end in the along the side of what where'd it go while you're looking did you guys hear about in uh august of 1984 when ronald reagan announced to his listeners he thought he was just doing a sound check but his mic was hot and he said my fellow americans i'm pleased to tell you today that i've signed legislation that will outlaw russia forever would begin bombing in five minutes

that almost turned the Cold War very hot. You're not part of this competition. I know how many arms would fit end to end alongside the German dirigible, the Hindenburg, which gaffed up a storm in 1937 when it exploded into flames, killing 36 people. I feel like we're leaving gaffes and we're just going into tragedy. I'm going to steal Mark's category of the Titanic and tell you that I know how many arms fit inside the Titanic. It could have 3,320 people on board, which means that there's a minimum capacity of 6,640 arms on the Titanic.

Category stolen. Arms on the Titanic. Category stolen. 1184 BC, the greatest gaffe of them all. During the Trojan War, there was a big old horse outside the city of Troy. And those idiots in the city were like, free horse. They pulled it inside. What do you know? A bunch of men climbed out the butthole of that horse.

Destroyed everything. Free horse. I mean, that's scientifically accurate, obviously. What a goof. I feel like I should be wrapping this thing up here soon. Any, you know, one or more a piece if you have it to round out the points. Then we're going gonna wrap up march 15th 44 bc in rome italy little old julius caesar walked into the senate floor that one day and he turned

his back for one second and then oh two brute stabbed 47 times from all angles. Is that really a gap? It was hilarious at the time. You had to be there. Bob, do you have literally anything that constitutes a funny gap? It was in a time that predated numbers as dates. Joaquin Phoenix is the

emperor of Rome and Russell Crowe challenges him to a fight on the floor of the Coliseum. Russell Crowe took off his Dr. Doom mask and threw down his ancient sword and looked up at Joaquin Phoenix, who took his posse down to the floor of the Coliseum and measured dicks with Russell Crowe. And guess whose was bigger? It was Russell's dick russell's was bigger rock joaquin phoenix kills russell crowe but then russell crowe kills joaquin phoenix spoilers what a what a yeah 298 ac that's after conquest rob stark makes a horrible mistake of trusting that one guy in the thing goes to this wedding or should we

call it the red wedding after this gaff occurred you all have driven this bus so far off the rails that we landed on a whole other train that also went off the rails and now we're just lost in a forest of you guys just looking up fucking articles where things go wrong. You want one more? Bob, you got one more? I got one more. It's all you, buddy. You're really kicking my ass. We got June 22nd, 1941. We got

in the original German, it was called Unternehmen Barbarossa or Operation Barbarossa when Hitler decided to invade the Soviet Union, thus eventually dooming his campaign and betraying his ally at the time and led to his army invading the Soviet Union in winter, which, as we all know, is a gaffe amongst gaffes in the military scope.

Man, what a funny, silly a gaffe amongst gaffes in the military scope. Man, what a funny, silly public gaffe. That's up there with the grapefruit and everything else. I'm going to wrap this one up. Man, I've been just throwing points at this wall. June of 1812. Napoleon makes one of his most costly mistakes of his entire career really beating hitler to the punch when he marches his army into russia even though czar alexander the first had become napoleon's ally he decided to invade where the ruler refused to stop selling grain to britain

many of napoleon's troops weren't french and had little loyalty to him and something Alexander ordered his army to retreat using a scorched earth policy destroying everything and leaving nothing behind for the enemy desperate soldiers deserted the French army and made Napoleon look like such a heel what a gaffe okay that's the episode in dystopian

UK a man the head of the finger Norse fire secret police force, after pulling a coup on their leader of the Norse fire party, decided to meet this dangerous villain only known as V in a subway tunnel and then believed that he had the upper hand just because he and his men had guns. Little did they know, Mr. V had a big old iron plate on his chest and ate those bullets for dinner and then stabbed him in the whatever. He choked him. He killed him. Broke his neck. Oh.

What a goof. Can I end the episode now? Once and twice. Sold. All right. Thank you, contestants, for your great gaffes. I think I got, like like two out of each of you before we went off the rails into whatever the fuck this has been haha so silly and funny uh-huh

breaking down the points here uh mark you ended with an astonishing 24 points bob you ended with just enough to beat mark why you might ask well because a few episodes ago, I had to relive an episode that I had previously done that Bob hosted with Mark, and he and I competed in a story. And then, man, I felt like I relived something very similar. And today's episode reminded me of having to relive things over and over and over again, as you all just cut in and stole credits for each other's things.

Somehow that means Bob wins. The year is 2023. Mark Markiplier Fischbach is competing in an episode of his podcast, Distractible. Mark's never committed a gaffe. I've got nothing to use. Mark, do you have a loser speech? Nah, he's a loser. Hey, that was rude.

That was mean! I want you guys to think carefully before I answer. That question. Okay. About what? Go on. I got nothing. I got nothing. Losers don't say

anything. It's true. All right, I'm going to think real carefully before you do answer. Bob. Well, you know what? This does feel familiar because I win so much. Practically feels like it's all I do. It's another successful day. Mark's light just turned itself off again.

It sure did. It sure did. Even his lights don't want Mark to win. And that's pretty low bar. Great episode, Wade. Excellent topic that I'm pretty sure we discussed very in-depth, and I think we really focused in on what you wanted us to, and

really got to the bottom of it. So, you know, it feels good. Feels good, successful episode. Great job, everybody, especially and mostly me. Thank you to my co-hosts, Mark and Bob. If you haven't already, you should go follow them. Mark Markblier, Bob Meister. I'm Wade, you can find me them. Mark Mark Blyer, Bob Mystrom. I'm waiting to find Minion777 or LordMinion777 in most places.

I guess stay tuned for the next episode where Bob will host. We'll see what will happen. We will have merch someday and we'll tell you when to go there again. So stay tuned for that. And until then, I'm going to go rethink my life. Podcast out.