Distractible - Time and... Stuff

Episode Date: January 3, 2025

It's always the right time for Distractible. Except maybe while driving. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, when Endowed Wade has an addiction to engorged powerful decks, drops blue steel, and discusses longevity. Batman Bob is baller on blades, and space station chronological dilation. The Sonic Mark buys a blow, drops Mike Deets, becomes a printing prince, and derides deep sea doo-doo. From nude jewels to mumbling Matthew. Yes! It's time for Time and Stuff. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractable I'm today's host, Wade aka Plugman I don't know why, but I am Plugman, always have been, always will be They can't see, they can't see that, it doesn't mean anything to them Well you all will never know what I'm referring to, but I will As always, a join me on my co-host Mark and Bob, hello Hello Hello

For you it's the future, for us it's now. That was in the past. What was I... I had a point with that. I don't know, but that was all very correct information. Because spoiler alert for everyone out there, but for us, this is New Year's Eve. We're recording, I'm dating this a little bit, but it's probably timely. How was everyone's holiday? Small talk time.

How are you guys? Busy. I cook, you know what? I learned this holidays, guys. I like cooking food for people. You just don't like storing it in a cold box. No, we got the fridges all sorted out. It's gonna be at least 18 months

till we have to buy another fridge and then enjoy the peace while it lasts. How many fridges are you guys buying a year? I'm about to buy another one. I'm very afraid for it, but. I last bought a fridge in 2016. You spent all your money on toilets, I guess, so. Yeah, we were moving.

Two weeks before we were set to close, our fridge broke. So we had to replace the fridge in the house we were leaving. It's kind of sad. That should have been like a precursor. Like that should have given me a hint that what I was heading to after that was all downhill. I was like, ah man, one final FU from this house before we go into this great house where I'll never have any issues. This nice house that was all downhill. I was like, ah man, one final F you from this house before we go into this great house

where I'll never have any issues. This nice house that was built very well and has no serious problems. Wait, but the last house had a dishwasher break like a month before we moved. I think more than that happened. Well yeah, but I'm just saying like every now it's kind of like F's me on the way out.

But not this house, this house is gonna be great. All my houses give me kisses on the way out. I don't know what you're doing to your houses we get into naked fist fights with pricks oh I thought you said pricks what pricks are popping out of the walls do you make you make lightsaber noises when you do your prick fights they're really high pitched cuz they're small. Oh. Being really high pitched because it's small. Check this out. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Oh We can see which hair is real and which hair CGI when you do that I know whoops, sorry the green screen revealed itself out my eyes Man, I can't believe that didn't feel good for your eyes. It's

Unvandamable my eyes. Anyway, I got this. It's my favorite thing now because I watched I was very impressionable. I watched one Tik Tok or short that was reviewing a bunch of these, or maybe it was a video, a bunch of these, like electric blowers. And it was like, this one actually works and goes really fast. And the fastest, I was like, I'll buy that one. And it goes really fast. What are you blowing? Dust. It doesn't collect it. It just makes the dust go, whoo. Doesn't clean much, but cause I, I, I dusted out my computer cause I'm like, that's what's wrong with the graphics card, that's why DaVinci says I have none, and so I blow all the dust out and it goes everywhere,

and I'm like, ah, it's clean, and I watch as my computer just goes... sucks all the dust back in with its fans. I'm just like, ah, shit. But the rest of your office is looking a lot better. fans. I'm just like, oh shit. But the rest of your office looking a lot better. What you need, along with your mini blower is a mini vacuum. And so you can just like and hold one and do one and it'll be a hole. I really blasted dust straight into my eyeballs. Well, where's your tears? You just need some tears. It's so dry. I don't think I have any tears. You got a humidifier? Do you need those? Man, I could. I should, but I won't. Okay.

Are you Wade? I mean, it's so much effort to get a humidifier that I just, I couldn't do it. I couldn't be bothered. That does sound like me. One of the Christmas presents I did get is an instant camera. It's not a Polaroid. I was trying to not say Polaroid, but it's an Instax. It's one of those where you snap it and it poops out the little thing and then the picture develops on the- Oh, like a Polaroid but it's a it's an instax it's one of those where you snap it and it poops out the little thing and then the the picture develops on like a Polaroid yeah but it's not though but it's it is basically uh anyway those are awesome and i love them they're adorable you immediately

have a little keepsake you can take pictures of people and give the pictures to those people highly recommend i'm like so late on this that it's it was cool and then it wasn't and then it was cool again and it's already not cool and i'm just getting in on this but we've been doing that since Polaroids. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's cool I'm really proud of you, man That's a weird way to emphasize your point, but I'll take it he was playing his pink pin for Christmas don't mind him Hey, you don't make fun of mark I feel so loved guys. Thank you. He guys little blower, he's walking blowing the dust and it just like forms a cloud and trails behind him.

It really does, yeah, it doesn't help at all. Mark's entire life is sitting down somewhere and being like, oh, it's a little dusty. Woo, everything else in the entire room, it's coated in dust when he's like, this spot. And then you go somewhere else, you're like, oh, man, it's dusty over here. Woo, I love that for you, that's perfect. Thank you, thank you very much. Pfft, p miss, Dusty over here. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I love a good capitalism as much as the next guy. I switched back from my Beacon microphone

back to this really nice XLR microphone that I've had that was really high quality because I saw an ad for the Beacon Studio, which allows you to plug in XLR mics into the Beacon setup. And so I've round about came all the way back around to where I was with my GoXLR and now I have this. There was a while where like you would tell us about different things you were trying and I was like, I should try that.

And I tried a couple of them and then like the moment I did, you would either move on to something else or go back. So I've given up and I'm just like, he'll be back. Let's just give him some time. Well, I don't have the GoXLR. This is a new one and it's nice because now it works and is supported and the studio is like the first thing I don't do a dual computer setup, but I know you do Bob. This is an integrated dual CPU It's two USBs from each computer goes right into the studio and the XLR works for both

It's I think it's one of the first devices that can do both. I'm not sponsored. It's not the first device, but it is close I think I have the first device. But when I have a $1,500 microphone sitting in a box in the other room, I really, really realize that I should have been using this for a lot longer. So now I'm back. Anyways, am I time for small talk yet or is we just gonna go on about... Oh, let me check the official clock. Yeah. Man, I don't really have anything. I haven't been, I talked about all the things that I got to this gadget and back to this thing.

All the things you got. Your old microphone and a dustblower. Merry Christmas. Christmas was a good low-key. Render farm's going well. It's actually kind of, it's kind of boring now. The render farm is just kind of working. I don't have anything to complain about. Now you're moving on from it, cause like, ah, it's not fun. It really was the problems along the way. I just can't believe it. Oh, I know. Bob, you're a knife guy, right? Yes. Well, yeah, generally.

Kitchen knives, adventure knives, what are we talking about? Well, so I'm looking for a good knife, right? Because I'm not not for stabbing. Steak? No. So I have this knife and it's a knife, right? I got it from like big five sporting goods. And I asked the guys like,

hey, do you have a knife that's like really sturdy that I'm not for like hunting or anything, just for like prying shit open, cutting open boxes, doing anything and it won't become shitty immediately. And he was like, I have no fucking idea what knives are and he's like, here's all our knives I'll take that one. Bob, do you know of a knife that's just like unbelievably reliable that I could pry anything up from anything, I could whittle with it, you know? Can I be super honest? I think knife people might disown me on this one.

I've come to a realization lately that the only thing, the only knife you need, if you want to just like a knife that for them, for what you're talking about, you should get a utility knife. I have a utility knife. Yeah. I think it's upstairs. I have a folding utility knife. It folds in half just like that one. So the one half is just the handle and the other half is the part that holds the little razor blade thing.

This is the best knife I've ever owned. It's always sharp. If it's not sharp, literally the one I have, the handle holds replacement blades. So I can on the fly, just be like, ah, this blade's done. Boop, fresh blade. And you're not afraid of breaking it, right? Like those blades are thin,

but if you snap a blade off in your utility knife, you're like, nah, whatever, you put a new one in. You're not like, oh, I'm gonna break the tip off this nice knife I got. I cannot recommend highly enough a collapsible utility knife that has extra blades in the handle. Buy like three of those and leave them in your workspaces or wherever you want them.

I usually have one on my desk here. I don't know where I went. I guess I have a Leatherman on my desk, so that's why I don't. I'd rather have a utility knife, because the Leatherman is fine, but it's kind of a crappy knife, honestly. You could buy them on Amazon for super cheap. You could go to any hardware store and they'll have the collapsible ones now. Like, it's just so good. That makes sense. That makes sense. All right, knife people, rip them apart. Slice them up to rib ribbons I'm an exacto kind of guy get out of here That's a knife pen the pop-up cuz it goes it doesn't pop up

What the hell kind of exacto knife are you using is it an exacto the right word? exacto knives are the ones where it's a little pen looking stick and you put a cap on it because it has a tiny little Triangular blade on the tip and it's for like... Oh that's not what I'm talking about then. What am I talking about? Are you talking about a switch blade? No he's talking about a utility knife like you were talking about except instead of... Oh you're talking about like a box cutter like a sliding action box cutter where... Yeah, box cutter.

Those are called box cutters which is the exact same thing I was talking about in a different shape. I am NOT a knife guy. Knife guys, come get us! An X-Acto knife is a precision knife that has special blades that are not just like the same as razor blades that are extremely sharp But they dull extremely quickly so they're meant for more arts and crafts kind of things. My buddies in college Two of my best friends lived room together freshman year of college They went to Purdue University and one of was in, I forget what his major was, but he's doing something where he had to build like architectural models, which involves cutting a lot of foam core

board and like gluing building, you know, building little buildings and whatever. And so he had an X-Acto knife. He's like on the floor of their dorm room doing some homework project. And my other buddy was fucking around and like, I don't know why, but lunged at him. And my friend's response was using an X-Acto knife was to just go, ah, stabbed him with an X-Acto knife, like really bad in his thigh in the middle of the night in their dorm. Oh good. It was fine.

He was fine. He survived. But funny stuff, you know, stuff if they had marks blower They could have kept the blood in That's what you want. You have blow a bunch of air bubbles in there find the find the biggest artery that's exposed and just Boop and then inflate that mother in other news of small talk My 3d printing obsession is deepening so people were. And you guys are right about that becoming my latest obsession. However, I'm dismissing out of hand any metal printing

and I'm dismissing out of hand SLS printing nowadays because I believe for the simplicity of what I'm trying to do, like deposition printing is just so simple and straightforward and the quality is good enough that you can do it. And they're they're actually coming out with new fibers that are much stronger and more heat resistant than ever before with carbon reinforcement and stuff like that so it's a it's a very very simplistic exciting world and you don't have to deal with as many toxic fumes there are still some fumes that you have to be

aware of but not as many and also it's cheaper well if you're looking for that you should try 2D printing. It uses like a wood based thing. You made that joke last time. I'm making it again, cause I'm original. I don't know how relatable this was, but it feels relatable to me. I've been thinking about 3D printing a lot

since we talked about it. And in my head, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm getting back into it too. What I've done is look online at a bunch of new kinds of filament and look at the software and look at models. I haven't done any physically tangible anything to actually get anywhere closer to 3D printing, because I need to like clean the print bed and calibrate the thing because it's in.

But in my head, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm doing it, too. I'm 3D printing all the time, Mark. You know, it's like my obsession right now. I do it constantly. Look, if we can shout someone out that maybe would sponsor it because they've sent me a free one before and it's had a few issues because it was a pre Kickstarter model, but Bamboo Labs, I think everyone knows they make a really good printer and their filaments are really good. You know, if you like buying the proprietary filaments from the people, but you can use any filament with a thing.

Bamboo Labs, hey, why don't you look back this way, send us all a printer. I will literally put it in my scene. I will have a 3D printer actively printing while we record. I will leave it in the box. Wait, imagine, you know how you didn't have, uh, hanabi tiles? Or is that what it is? Yeah, you could make your own.

What? You could have printed your own missing hanabi tiles. I will open the box! This is not a lie either, because they have colored filaments. You could make the filament, uh, the color match close enough with anything you had. You can print out any missing, like like little game pieces that you have. Do I still have to go to the grocery store for food? No, you can have that delivered still.

Yeah. You can print a food drop box outside of your house so that you never have to interact with anyone ever because they'll just put it in the box. Okay. Dude, 3D printing actually is kind of revolutionary when you start to realize how many little bits and bobs that you don't need to go by anymore because you can make it.

Light bulbs? You probably could 3D print a light bulb, but I'm gonna say that's probably not a good idea. Yeah, you'd probably have to go into like ordering, like you, there's a whole world of 3D printing that is you make this thing and then you integrate parts from hardware stores to create larger ensembles and larger more complex things. If you had a soldering iron and LEDs and a little bit of know-how you could 3D print some kind of housing and solder up an LED array and you could make your own light bulb. Do they make a conductive filament? That's interesting. Does it turn into an infinite explosion like it did in that one Minecraft mod? I mean pretty much. The solar powered infinite explosion. They did in that one Minecraft mon? I mean, pretty much.

The solar powered infinite explosion. They do make conductive filaments, electrically conductive 3D printer filament PLA. They make it because I got two of them that went out. If you already have a light bulb in the place where you want the light bulb, you already have a socket. You could use, you could salvage parts from the light bulb that was burned out. So you could just use that socket for the rest of your life and keep, you know, printing new... Well, you'd still be wasting the plastic, I guess, theoretically.

Fascinating. Bamboo Labs, please. All of your printers. Call me. You'll somehow make money from this. I promise. I looked like I was fondling their balls. That's not what I was trying to do. You'll somehow make money from this. None of them cared about my small talk. You guys That's not what I was trying to do. You'll somehow make money from this. I don't know if anyone cares about my small talk. You guys will never believe what I've been doing.

Playing board games, playing video games. Eating chicken wings, path of exile two. All right, you guys know exactly what I've been doing. I played some Bellatro. Did you? Did you like it? Yeah, I have. I've not gotten super, super far. I've only played a handful of games, but like,

man, I had a deck. It was going great. I was scoring like, I don't know, 600,000 a hand or had a deck it was going great I was scoring like I don't know 600,000 a hand or something like it was going awesome and then I came across like that boss that's like mmm all hearts are debuffed and of course my hand was all hearts. It's really fun Bob I have a new record for my best hand I've climbed 13 billion. Good Lord. For one hand, for one hand I got 13 billion. I still haven't reached the exponential levels,

but last time it was just a million or two, I forget what it was, but I went up. It's amazing how quickly if you get a few more multipliers, you just like go up and up and up and 13 billion. And I still only got to anti 13. I don't think I've meaningfully, yeah, I haven't meaningfully improved my max score. I have been, I've unlocked more decks

and I've unlocked the challenge modes and I've been focusing on that a lot. So my max is still 36 million or whatever it was, but. Do the challenge modes give you anything else? Is there anything else you get? Not that I could tell. I'm gonna be honest, I've only actually beat one. It doesn't seem like there's anything specific that you get,

but it might be like you unlock cards or toward specific decks or something. The one I beat I think might be the easiest one also. It is very fun. It's oddly addicting. And then like you have that hand that you think's going well and you come across the wrong thing, you just start over and you're like,

ah, it was those jokers. I'll get better jokers this time. And you never do. I'm always like, I need to focus on jokers. I'll get better jokers this time. And you never do. I'm always like, I need to focus on jokers. And I fall into that trap. And then your success is entirely dictated by whatever random shitty jokers you get because you never get the good ones

or the one that you want. I have a weird hoarder mentality with the deck where you start with an extra $10. I found myself just like, I can't spend this money. I need to keep getting it up. I need more money. Forget winning can't spend this money. I need to keep getting it up. I need more money forget winning I just need money Yeah, I've had so many game overs with like $200 in the bank

Yeah, it's nothing I could have done nothing good about I was waiting for that Joker that was money-based I didn't have it, but I was waiting for it. I would have trused when I had that Joker That's probably the biggest part of my play style. That's been changing is I until the last few days I just keep myself zeroed out every round. I'm like, what can I buy? I gotta get a spend. I gotta get. Yeah.

I finally was like, Hey, if you just don't spend all your money every time you like get more and then you can do other stuff, man. Here's the problem though. If you never spend your money and you get to like anti five or six and you've got a base hand, it's really hard to win. If only money could save you like man i really want this joker but if i spent eight dollars i won't get the times five multiplier i get that voucher a lot of uh being able to reroll the big boss big blind boss blind how do

you actually do it you have to do it before you get into the fight or can you do it during or when do you do it yeah you have to do it before you select the boss blind unless you have the joker that you sell and then you do that during the fight gotcha do it? Yeah, you have to do it before you select the boss blind. Unless you have the joker that you sell and then you do that during the fight. Gotcha. Yeah, I had the voucher and I got into the boss fight and I was like, oh, you just wait, I'm about to neuter you. Oh, why do I reroll you now?

I lost. Where'd the button go? Where'd the button go? I was like, ah man, now that I'm looking you in the eye, I'm about to cut off your balls, boss. Oh, let's play a couple of hands and then I'll reroll and you'll see. Yeah, for everyone out there who's not part of the addiction yet, it is worth it. I'd

say for the price of that game, it is so worth it. I would say get it on your Mobilist mobile device also, because it's fun on computer and like it's nice, but I'm really happy I have it on my phone because I play that shit everywhere. Super fun and I like the controls of the touchscreen better than the computer controls. Also, if you have Apple Arcade for those rare people that do, it is free on Apple Arcade. I was talking to my friend Patrick and he said, I think it was Patrick, he said he has it on Apple Arcade. I was like, oh, that's cool. I wish I'd done that. I'm playing on my tablet. I like my tablet more than my phone. I don't know.

I feel like a really old person where I'm like, oh man, it's so hard to see things on my phone No, I like I like I have the the iPad mini I have the iPad mini for just that purpose of like playing little mobile games and you know watching stuff Where I'm laying down because holding a full iPad above my head is just asking for another broken nose It does it does happen. I've been I've been there. I mean I've dropped my phone on my face before. I don't want to drop a whole iPad on it. I've done it. It hurts. Thankfully it wasn't on my nose. I like turned just in time for it to smack me in like the temple. A lot safer. Anyway, we've been... Oh sorry guys, got a phone call. Actually this is Amy so I probably should. One second.

I thought it was just a bit. Dude, Path of Exile. I haven't actually played anymore since the last time you and I played together. Oh, I'm a level 80 character now. I'm in the end game. I spent 10 hours learning how the trade market works, going through the trade market and completely changing my build by trading stuff and accumulating better gear. What kind of market is it?

Like D2? So it is, but you have to like use their know, okay, you don't have to use their website There's like an in-game trade chat But you can't really use that to find what you're looking for and you can go there and you can type like willing to buy like WTB and you say what you're willing to buy but they have an integrated feature on their actual website You're a path of exile to whatever dot-com or whatever the actual thing is and if you click trade You have to sign into your path of exile account So you have to link like your Steam to their website or you know, whatever you're playing onto their website.

And you go into trade and you can search for other specific item names if they're like Uniques. Or you can search for like, I want a rare ring that has these things. Then a whole bunch of things will pop up and you can limit the search by like, you know, making the feel like, I want a higher quality, lower quality. I want to pay this. I don't want to pay any more than this. And you do that per item. That's kind of tedious, but kind of fun. You both path of Exile. Oh God, that's so fun.

I have about one tenth of the amount of time he has in it, but it's very fun. I'm at like 108 hours. I'm like 12. I got you. 1300. 1300, holy shit. My power level is unmatched.

I do have an episode for today. With the amount of time we have to chat about it's only fitting we talk about it the topic is time we're getting older oh boy but also I don't know time is just one of those fascinating things that I never really spend a lot of time no pun intended on but on. But like time travel, spoilers here I guess for the movie Interstellar, but the whole concept of the planet with the big waves or whatever and then all that time passing because of the black hole and stuff like that.

The time dilation. Time dilation, all that stuff's fascinating to me, but I've never really looked that far into it. And then it makes you wonder, okay, so time travel into the future is possible, is time travel into the past possible? And I was looking into that at one point and there were, oh God, what were the things called?

Cosmic strings and things like this that I'm like, okay, this is getting way above my pay grade. But just in general, that whole thing that adults tell you when you're a kid of like, oh, enjoy it now, when your summer feels like it's 10 years long, three months when you're five years old is a lot more of it's 10 years long, three months when you're five years old is a lot more of a percentage of your life than three months when you're 30.

So it seems like a long time. And now it's like summer, never even heard of her. Is there a word for that feeling? When I think about the fact that the longer we're alive, the shorter fraction of your life ever like thing is. It's like you're saying, when your kid, school feels like it lasts forever and then summer feels long and then you're back,

it's good, every year feels like an eternity. I'm not even that old, like I hope I live to be much older than I am. And still it's already like multiple years have passed and I'll be like, it's 2024? Oh, what the fuck? The way that perspective changes, I feel a very certain way when I think about that.

Because a lot of times it's unconscious. But I don't know if there's like a word for it. It's like, because it's not like sad or anything, but it's not like a positive feeling. I'm sure there is. I'm sure there's people in the comments right now like screaming at me. But do you guys get that feeling?

Do you know that feeling I'm talking about? Our content creation careers are basically as long as our grade school years were at this point. Someone put in perspective on the subreddit where they said the entire time that we've been doing video focused episodes, I've been working on this movie and that made me go, oh man, the entire time. Not the entire time of the podcast but.

Since we did the video. I gotta go into another sprint. But thinking like if someone started watching us some reason, like kindergarten or first grade, they'd be like graduating now. Is that true? 12 years, man. That's how well that is how years work. I guess. Wait, what's what was this question? Just like generally about time? Talk about time was the prompt. Do you want us to go the route of like time is actually a cannoli and it all loops back in on itself It's rolls rolled together or do you want a philosophical thing? Because I never know what you're looking for I just want a discussion whatever angle you want to approach it from. All right cannoli it is let's go. All right, so time But cannolis roll in on themselves, so it's actually spiraling downward.

So that's where every- it's like the same loop, but it's getting smaller. Our life is one big cannoli, but it's not a never-ending circle like the Lion King Mufasa said. It's a spiraling drain into nothingness. Just like a cannoli. When do we get the cream filling? Because that's really the part I'm here for. Cream filling started before you started literally and metaphorically I'm just gonna focus on the metaphorical kind. Okay, good. All right, don't think literally about it

No one out there all you listeners who think that we're not listener focused don't think about it literally I surprised with like Austin Powers. Is it Austin Powers? They have all like the dick references, but then like they also have like the cutting away to like explosions whenever things come to a close. I think many, many movies and TV shows have done that joke. I believe, um, drawn together. Do you guys remember drawn together? I remember it.

I didn't watch all of it. They had some fairly crude ones. I'm sure Family Guy has done that before, you know, yada, y yada. Concluding point. Good point, Mark. All right, I have a quiz. I guess it's for Mark because Wade can't lose. So Wade, you talked about time dilation. Astronaut Scott Kelly spent 340 days in total on the International Space Station. Because of this, because he was moving at such a high rate of speed orbiting the Earth, how much faster do you think time went for Scott Kelly? How much older do you think he is than, interesting fact,

his actual twin brother who does exist and lives on Earth? Okay, so- 340 days, almost a full year, on the International Space Station orbiting the Earth at 15,000, 5000 how fast those go 15 15 trillion miles an hour. Don't fact-check me. Is he physically He's talking to me. Excuse me. Wait, he's talking to me. He's talking to me. He's he's talking to me I'm gonna take your point and I'm gonna divert it into some bullshit that I I have a gripe with okay Okay, so I'm shelving this, some bullshit that I have a gripe with okay, okay, so I'm shelving this you know what I find so

Infuriating is when there's some middle-aged like guy or usually a guy And there was one just recently that emerged from his year-long life at the bottom of some lake He was he like lived at like a certain depth for a year, and he comes out and be like ah I'm so much younger. My biological age is 34, even though I'm 48. And they're like, you just made that up. What do you mean your biological age is that? Like that doesn't mean anything. It's like, but my biological markers for this and this and this and this. It's like, what are you talking about?

It's a bullshit metric that people made up and it's like, but what you're talking about, Bob, is legitimate time dilation. So I'm just gonna throw that out there because I think it's so stupid every time one of these guys are like, I have self-daging. Does that happen a lot? Oh, where Mark lives every day someone emerges. Someone emerges from under my lake. Yeah, specifically the part about living under the lake was what got my attention, but. Don't go to Minnesota, they got so many lakes people are popping out like crazy. He says he de-aged himself 20 years after spending 100 days underwater. Miracle! Turns out they did a side by side picture of him before and after.

It looks the same. It looks exactly the same. I was going to say it looks a year older. No, I totally get the idea of like, oh, you have indicators, if physiologically that you could measure where it's like, oh, your heart health is very good or not, or very bad. And you're actually cardiac wise, you're older than you should be or whatever. I don't know what measures these guys are using when they do this, but I can't, it's never that drastic. There's just no way that it's that drastic of a change. And I feel like it's cheating because the main thing that living underwater affects

is probably like your blood oxygen saturation because you're living at pressure or something. It affects your red blood cell count probably. I don't understand. That's temporary. That goes back to normal when you go back to normal pressure situations I think yeah it probably does one of these guys probably went to the doctor was like wow you have the heart of a 21 year old and they went what oh my god I've done it I've unlocked de-aging yes and the doctor's like what is it and so yeah anyway but percent older, a younger, older, younger. Older. Astronaut Scott Kelly aged an extra amount of time because he was traveling at such a high rate of speed orbiting on the space station for 340 days. The time moved more quickly. Slowly? God, I'm not smart enough for this.

He aged slightly more than the people who were not orbiting on the space station. For him, relatively. No, if he was going faster, then time did move faster for him, but he stayed the same age, everyone else who moved slower. So his twin brother on the ground is slightly older. Cause if the thought experiment is like,

if you go on a rocket ship and you go near light speed. Yeah, you're right. I just can't read. I'm literally looking at a Googled answer to this and I still got it wrong. How much after 340 days orbiting earth, how much younger is he than his twin brother? 0.0001. Percent?

Sure. I don't know how to convert these things. How much percent of his life is five milliseconds? Five milliseconds? He is five milliseconds? Five milliseconds? He is five milliseconds younger than his twin brother after almost a full year orbiting the earth at 17 trillion miles an hour. And he's gonna hold that over his twin for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, he was ten milliseconds younger at birth. Yeah, he was born eight seconds before his brother so he's still

technically way older it was a real photo finish out of the womb they actually had a triplet but he they didn't catch that one on the way out He jumped the bank and burst into flames as they were trying to come across the line The mom's left leg just blew off at the speeds Yeah, the placenta followed him out and actually doused the flames pretty quickly But the extent of his injuries was just too much for the triplet brother-to-fifth You're saying that the placenta was cooked and ready to be shared among the viewers the viewers are their stands yeah it's like the marathon everyone's like they're watching the race tragically the

umbilical cord stretched out and decapitated an entire section of the audience who's horrible horrible good thing they were in a hospital though they saved everyone oh it's moments like this that I hate that you have was a Fantasia I wish you could visualize the things I'm seeing it's moments like this that I hate that you have, uh, was it aphantasia? I wish you could visualize the things I'm seeing, it's terrible. Another interesting time fact that I didn't actually know until I started Googling things. Do you guys know that a jiffy is a formally defined length of time? Oh, we call them Giffys. Make a joke about crunchy or smooth, okay?

Just... Yeah, I won't, we say in a jiffy. I didn't know where it came from is it an official measurement i don't think people who use in a jiffy use it correctly because it is officially defined in physics as the amount of time it takes light to travel one centimeter is scott manley a jiffy older or younger than his brother uh he's several jiffy's i think because a jiffy is 33.3 But he's several jiffies, I think. Because a jiffy is 33.3 picoseconds, which I'm pretty sure is the next step down from milliseconds if not two steps.

Imagine experiencing a jiffy lube. I would pay a lot more than I do if jiffy lube actually did do it in a jiffy. Can we legally sue jiffy lube for not doing it? We defied a pizza place that has like an ad that's like we'll get your pizza to you in a Jiffy or it's free. I fucking bet. It's free pizza. And then you order it and the pizza actually appears in front of you while you're still on the phone and you're just like fuck I guess I owe you $20.

I'll tip the guy. Five milliseconds is five times ten to the power of nine picoseconds. Jesus Christ. So I think he's five billion... Jiffies. So I'm like, he's a billion jiffies more than older than younger than his... Ah, time! What a way to frame it though.

Like, hey, you're five milliseconds younger than me dick no I'm a billion jiffy's younger than you you can't even count that many jiffy's it might even be a trillion it's I'm not a hundred percent sure cuz it was 33 pico seconds to five millisite it might be a trillion I don't know. Are Picos big or small? Well, it evolves into Raichu, so I don't know. I'm becoming Wade. Pico Park, but Picochu. Picochu!

Weird knockoff American version. What were we talking about? Time. Time, man, it's crazy. Let me consult my notes here. Oh, time travel stuff. Oh, it's clearly possible. It's clearly possible. We didn't discuss it. To an extent where you think you could ever control it, like how far back or forward you go? I prefer to think of it by the Futurama model,

which if you're not familiar with, I can explain quickly. But I should for the viewers who haven't seen it and me. for personal and emotional reasons I prefer the Futurama model There's an episode of Futurama where the professor invents a time travel device But it only goes forward in time and it has just has a lever and you can just turn up how fast if you're inside You can fast forward through time basically and they through some calamity and mishap They accidentally just like slam that bitch on full fast forward and they end up way in the future and they see a bunch of different future things that happen and they get to the end of time

Eventually at the near the end of the episode they get to the end of time and it's just like nothingness and it's like we're gonna see the universe It die because it's the heat death. it's expanded so much that there's basically nothing anywhere that's meaningfully observable. And they're just like crack a beer and sit there. And then they watch it as it condenses back down and then the big bang happens and then they loop back around and they actually end up back in their correct time because it's just one big loop. But they're just a little higher. Yeah, they're five feet. Apparently this universe is five feet lower than the previous one but they

fixed the paradoxes thanks to murder. That's my favorite. Broad strokes with like time travel everyone knows that you can go forward and you can go forward faster than others because time is relative and all that stuff. Einstein said it better than I could ever put, right? Yeah, so when you're on the train and you're going very fast, it's just like you are time traveling forward in time, yeah? He talked like that, little in fact, that's how he talked. He's actually very funny.

There's a few like paradoxical things about that. It seems paradoxical. It probably is, but you know, there's ways to rationalize it. So like, you know, a photon, right? A photon travels at the speed of light because it is light. To it, the perspective of everything else is so fast. Everything else is going through time forward so quickly that it's basically instantaneous from the moment that it's born to where it hits. It doesn't have a perception because it's just a photon so it can't perceive things but theoretically it's going speed of light so everything else happens instantaneously. It's created and it hits wherever it hits all at once. So the thought process is no one can really go the speed of light because if you were to accelerate up to the point where speed of light, everything else would start moving so fast and you would lose mass in conjunction with everything else.

Yada, yada, the math is crazy complicated and stuff like that, right? But I've heard many theories that say, if you were, say, to cross over this asymptote that is the speed of light, this theoretical boundary that people could never really get to because they'd have to have no mass to get there.

Except in Star Trek. Yes, except in Star Trek. Yes, except in Star Trek. If you could cross over, some people theorize that you would start moving backwards in time. Like you accelerate to the point of infinite and then as you go to the cross over, you would start to move backwards in time. That's like one of the proposed theories.

There's no way to prove it. There's no way really to, I don't know the math of it. It's just kind of an anecdotal thing that is there. We just need a photon willing to wear a GoPro. That's what in interstellar they tried to do, you know, when they sent it into the back hole, it just tried to like GoPro it into there. Got one of those 20 foot selfie sticks and he's like, all right,

roll out the window. What do we see? What do we see? But in, in, in my really rudimentary understanding of what that and maybe there's a couple different theories about it, but the theory is like if you were to cross over that and start moving backwards, it's not like you could just slow down again and go back out. It would take just as much effort to cross back over to go forward in time. So once you start going backwards in time, it's like once you cross over this boundary that apparently nothing can ever cross over, it would be equally as infinitely difficult to get back to the other side. So you would just be going backwards in time forever. Would you have to go fast or slow to come back? See that's that I don't know. I

have no idea. Do you have to slow down to get to this slow asymptote to get back over? I really have no idea. You have to walk in reverse really fast. Cause it's breaking physics completely. It absolutely is. But that's also where black holes break physics completely because the idea is that like nothing can move faster

than light and yet black holes suck in light. That light accelerates towards the event horizon will become trapped in there and can't escape. So that boundary means that even light can't move fast enough to escape. So what's going on there? It's really hard, and I am not an expert enough to in any way confidently explain that, but there are these kind of paradoxes where it's like, okay, we have these rules that we have defined defined but the universe doesn't really give a shit about our math they just does whatever it does anyway so who knows if it's possible but it's one of the things where it's like if you go into a black hole you will die an unbelievable death you might not even notice I mean you will die but you might just sort of poof

out of existence in a relatively painless experience aside from probably being terrifying on the way in or whatever has anybody done that then lived to Talk about it other than Matthew McConaughey. No came back out. He's like I found a Lincoln in the black hole Cooper what are you doing in the black hole? I'm just living man L. I v I in Unrelated have you seen his commercials recently about like the NFL and eating food? Yeah, those stupid fucking commercials. Eating food. I love eating food. E-A-T-I-N. Those are the dumbest commercials.

They always make me laugh. I like all, they don't make me laugh, they make me angry. I like all the things in them. I like the food, I like the football. But Kanye is fine, he's a good actor, he's fun. Stupidest commercial idea ever. I'm just eating rice. R-I-C-I-E. Is that a character thing for McConaughey?

Just spells everything. That's all I know from your interpretation. All right. Thanks so much for having me on your show, Stephen Colbert. I just got to go. J-U-S-T G-O-T-T-A G-O. I thought you were spelled. show uh Stephen Colbert I just gotta go J-U-S-T-G-O-T-T-A-G-O I thought you were spelled I just gotta G-A-C-K-O-F-F

I would never do that N-E-V-E-R-D-O-T-H-A-T What are the rules on how many words you have to spell Matthew? Well it's really more of a feeling F-E-E-L-I-N. He lost a spelling bee when he was a kid and it really scarred him for life. All this Matthew McConaughey. Matthew, if you're watching. Well, he strikes me as more of a listener. L-I-S-T-N-E-R. No, there's another Ian there

You know he takes they the dude when he was filming interstellar just kept spelling every line There's actually some trimmed edits there at the end of every take Is that a joke TARS? T-A-R-S? Damn it! Murph! Murph! M-U-R-P-H! M-U-R-P-H! Oh man, I hope that's the thing that happens that we're just not as privy to as normal humans. This is a great movie though, it's very interesting. I like it, I think it's fun. Christopher Nolan movies are of a very specific variety and usually they're very well made and they're captivating to watch, but they are also very dry. They're extremely dry movies. And that's not to say they're not emotionally charged, but they're extremely dry. Some teriyaki on it.

This is unrelated, except physics is kind of related to physics. Have you guys seen the clip of there's some people watching Oppenheimer in a theater and it's like way after it has been out, so there's like a handful of people and it gets to that point in the movie where they're detonating the first nuclear bomb. Spoilers. And in the movie it's very dramatic and they're like 10, 9, they count down and it gets to the moment and they're like zero, click and then the movie goes dead silent and the whole explosion and everything is like silence. There's this clip that goes, it gets to the zero

and right as the button is pushed and the silence hits, someone just goes, and the whole five guys in the theater are just like, nice, nice. It makes me upset that I find it so funny, but I will laugh at every single time it comes up anywhere on my phone, on social media. It's always worth it. They're lucky the theater didn't explode from the gas with the explosion in the distance.

Dude, imagine if everyone survives but the guy who farted, because he kind of deserved it. He deserved to survive. What do you fart? You fart when the nuclear bombs go off and get what you get. That was the rules. The guys who were there at the original Trinity Denonation, they were like, don't look at it except through this glass and don't fart till it's over. God's sake, kill us all. Special little like cup shift to wear over your asshole during certain parts of the movie to just in case. Here's your 3D glasses and your fart diaper. Enjoy Oppenheimer. He's a genius of our time. This, this is a train wreck of an episode, but I love it I feel like this is the most classic distractible episode we've had in a while. I wrote down all the points

I want to be clear about that points were very very hard to get today I set a high threshold so points were hard to earn mark you earn points for not so different you and I I spelled EYE and Canoli time Bob you earn points for not so different you and I. I spelled E-Y-E. And canoli time. Bob, you earn points for- Oh God, oh God! Oh God! Oh God!

Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! 3D light? Where is the cream? And theater fart giving you three points. Oh God!

Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! I have one other note on this page page and it's that I declare myself the one who decides proper order I think that has to do with last episode I feel like you were laughing too hard to the Matthew McConaughey Spelling part to give any points out there and you're just excusing it. It's like the threshold It was I you both you both got and lost points for that

Boys are being funny you lost points because poor Matthew is really just being put on blast. He's crying right now CRY And there were a lot of points that probably should have been given but I set the bar really high it was hard to earn So Bob you win three to two Part of me was to challenge just cuz I feel like he didn't document the points accurately enough But you might think you deserve more points and that's fine but I'm the one who grants them mark I saw circle back something is that still Amy's mug you're using oh god no this it is Amy's mug but it's not Amy's favorite mug it's

a good mug I couldn't remember what it was last time but it just had the vibe of like that would be Amy's mug mark you only earned two points today do you want mug. It's a good mug. I couldn't remember what it was last time, but it just had the vibe of like that would be Amy's mug. Mark, you only earned two points today. Do you want to give us a loser speech? Sure. Um, even though today I might be a loser, once I start going back in time and can't stop, I'm going to retroactively reverse all wins and losses throughout this podcast, subsequently making whoever's on the bottom rung, whoever that is on the top of the rung I don't think you want to do that who's on the bottom. I think it's me I Think we have a pretty competitive race except for one time I lost ten wins arbitrarily and so I'm forever behind you guys now. Are we close? I have no idea

We've been doing this for a long time I have no idea what the it looks like I think technically Wade has the most wins by maybe two or three But I think I'm way behind because I lost a whole bunch all at once during one some sort of mishap that happened So I feel free to do that mark. I will happily take a commanding lead Also, I realized I think I was just pulling the the theory thing that I was talking about straight from the movie tenant because I'm pretty sure That's exactly how that goes through So I feel like I I deserve this loss because all we all we did was rip off Christopher Nolan movies But I didn't even know I was doing it. There's a theory from this

This documentary I was watching called back door sluts 9 that involves interesting theory. Tell me more Yeah, so if you reverse the cowgirl Anyway, go on. I can't it's finished. No, and I'm also finished I wish I could give you points, but unfortunately the document is sealed now The document is sticky now for some reason I can't open this document anymore That's why they call it a sticky note Bob. Please the love of God save us anymore that's why they call it a sticky note Bob please the love of god save us uh well starting off this year strong just like I started the last year I am undefeated and I will remain thusly d-h-u-s-l-y I know loser speeches in 2025

just like I didn't give a single loser speech as I recall in 2024 and it feels feels about the same because I've been winning stay winning, but let's keep going. Well, that's the episode I hope you all enjoyed whatever we talked about if you don't know what we talked about watch it again I'm gonna go back and watch and see what all happened because I don't remember and see if you can figure out where those Points were earned there were five of them given today. You can find mark at markiplier I'm Bob at my skirm meet me and some of them are Lord million 777 I don't know if we have merch I'm gonna be honest with you I've not gone to the website in a long time based on my competitors I'm gonna assume the answer is no we might the truth is out there stay tuned for the next one

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