Distractible - Wade, Bob, and Friend

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

Bob and Wade punish Mark. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Besides Bob's orifice and piles, he doesn't want to be eaten out. Candlestick Mark sings about noshing off and owning canines. From the succulents of Long pig to baby investment per capita. Yes. It's time for Wade, Bob, and Friend. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey, everyone. Welcome back.

Bob, do you want to? I don't know how to do this. Wade and I are hosting together. Welcome to another episode of Distractible. Yay! If you've never been here before, usually there's one host. The person who won the last episode is hosting. But now, there's two hosts because we both won and Mark lost. Yeah, I think we could all agree, Mark lost. That's the definite takeaway from the last episode.

And we're joined by the loser of last episode, Mark. What's up, Mark the loser? How's it going? That's the spirit. As per usual, the format of the show is that the competitor will be competing to earn points. And if he can earn enough points, maybe he'll win. Wouldn't that be fun? I just want to point out, very happy to be here.

Very excited for what's coming ahead, can't wait for it, but I want to point out, I wasn't exactly the loser. The whole moral of the last episode is that there were no losers. Oh, I'm sorry, that is false. Oh. We must not tell lies, Mark. But we'll get to that. Anyway, Judge's Small Talk, Wade, how are you?

How's it going? Oh, I'm doing pretty well bob thank you for asking uh our pets were at the vet they got a clean bill of health for people that won't stop asking me i guess there's a pet update i'm excited about that life's actually kind of calm for a week don't say that oh how are you everything's good uh my office is still a mess but the rest of the house is lots of we're getting really moved and settled in here uh it's nice we've had a lot of visitors parents and grandparents have been around seeing seeing the baby and you know isn't it amazing how the office somehow like you get it functional it's like that's good enough i'll get to it later and then every other part of the house

you're like i gotta get that done gotta get that done you get to your office it's like good enough it hasn't my office hasn't improved in in terms of unpacking literally since the first time i recorded in here mine's improved a few times but you can see not much you can see a box right here half the room is off screen this way that's the half that's just a pile of shit right now yeah i feel hi hey what's up guys here back at it again with another amazing actually you know what, Mark? Hold that thought, because I think we're going to save your small talk

for a little bit later in the episode. Why'd you emphasize small like that? That felt weird. Tiny talk. We're going to save your normal-sized talk, perfectly adequately-sized talk, for a little bit later in the episode. So this is a special one.

Usually there's only one host, like I said. So Wade and I kind of worked together on this, and we sort of came up with some concepts. And you could say revisiting past episodes. It's not a thing that we really do on this show. But we're going to be sort of borrowing some concepts from some previous episodes. Concepts.

And Mark is going to, and Mark is going to be our guinea pig to see if that works or doesn't work, or I don't know. Pig. This first segment, I titled and I sort of came up with it, and I like to call it,

Our Friend is the Devil. His advocate. It's Devil's Advocate, Mark. Oh, good. Yeah, so cool. Yeah, what was all that other stuff about pig and... That was just me emphasizing words to make sure that you heard them. So I've got some prompts here, and I want you to...

I want you to take the Devical... Devicals? Holy Lord. Devil's Advocate position, which for anyone listening and watching who doesn't know, means that he's basically just gonna take the opposite opinion from whatever I put out there. I'm gonna take the opposite opinion? Mark is the Devil's Advocate, that he's basically just going to take the opposite opinion from whatever I put out there. I'm going to take the opposite opinion? Mark is the devil's advocate. So he's arguing the opposite.

Oh! Don't worry. It'll be clear what you're supposed to argue, Mark. It's very simple. We've, you know, done similar things at points in our lives. Yeah, I think we did something kind of like this before. I think you might have hosted that one, Mark, if you remember. Yeah, maybe.

Uh, Mark, first question. If a species of hyper intelligent aliens were to make contact with humans okay i posit it would be morally wrong for them to eat humans mark is on the side of it would be morally correct forintelligent aliens to eat the inferior species of humans. You have to make, if you want to earn points, you better make a good argument, because I'm pretty steadfast. I don't want to get eaten, and I don't care how much smarter than us a hyper-intelligent alien species may be.

That's not justification for them to kill and eat us. That's inhumane. Humane, good word. Derived from the word human. Okay, and Wade, what is he doing in this? He's inhumane. Humane, good word. Derived from the word human. Okay, and Wade, what is he doing in this? He's on my side. Ah, okay.

All right, so I'm arguing for aliens eating people and why that's good. Yeah, you think it would be morally right for aliens to eat us because we are of inferior intelligence and thus beneath them on the food chain. Well, first off, I'm going to say that that's not necessarily the basis of their desire to eat people. It's not so much that we're inferior. It's that humans are just delicious. There are many, many reports of documented cases of eating people, and they say that we taste like a mixture of pork. Is that what you said? Pork. Is that what you said?

Pork? Is that what you said? Pork? I don't recall saying pork. Pig and chicken. So I got it. I mean, like, if you're an alien coming over here and you're just wanting to devour. Devour.

Who are we to say no? They're guests. They are guests. That's a good one. You know, I think Beauty and the Beast said it best. Be our guest. Be our guest. You are better than our best.

And we want you to partake in our flash. Eat some Steve. Eat some Bob. Eat some Ashley on the cob. Have a dinner with Bessie for your favorite date. Be our guest. Be our guest. I rest my case.

Oh my God. So Mark's arguments to summarize. Humans are delicious. The aliens would be our guests and it's rude to deny them what they want. And also Beauty and the Beast, Ashley on the cob. Now I know what it's like to be on the other side of me making up songs and it's enjoyable well what do you think wade what if you're the judge here i i have a strong viewpoint on the aliens eating humans scenario whose argument do you like do you like my argument or mark's i mean if i'm being unbiased, I like not being eaten. However, I'm a man who loves food.

And if we taste that good and we can be eaten on the cob, who am I to deny someone that? How do you feel, Bob? Well, you're supposed to, I'm letting you decide. Oh, you know, he even did like a little song and dance number. I'm going to side with Mark. Yeah, eat us. You really started singing all on your own, Mark,

which was just exciting for the rest of the episode but don't hold don't make a standard for yourself here no don't worry about it uh well that's a point for you buddy you've got me there you go and i'm sure the topics will only be uh decreasingly controversial decreasing uh i just realized both of these first two are very uh-oriented, but that's okay. That's okay. We can... It's fine. That's fine. I argue being vegetarian is beneficial both to the animals that do not get mistreated

and then killed and then eaten, and to the environment, because most animals, maybe not most, but many animals that are raised for human consumption consume more food than they actually produce and are actually kind of a drain on the environment. There are a myriad of ways that livestock and other animals raising them on a farm situation can damage and do damage the environment, cause problems. I think that if everyone was vegetarian or was at least more vegetarian and the meat industry was not so predominant,

I think that would be a good thing. Mark is in favor of eating only meat. Only. vegetarian or was at least more vegetarian and the meat industry was not so predominant i think that would be a good thing mark is in favor of eating only meat only a strong point mark i'm in favor of eating meat period that's that's it nothing only meat okay all right uh all right uh hi how are you doing i just want to reiterate, too, you know how much Wade loves me. So this is kind of a softball for you, really, if you think about it. He put the ball on the tee, handed you the bat, and took off the blindfold. Let's look at it this way. You know, if I were to list the...

Why did that happen? Are you about to get consumed by a creature of the darkness? Are you alright? For those who are creature of the darkness, or are you alright? For those who are... Oh my god! Oh my god! It turned itself back on! I'm not doing anything! Mark, are you in nope? Uh, you know, maybe

I just will not look up. And I think that if we had to tie together aliens eating people and meat eating, nope is a perfect example, and I'm so glad you brought that up. Because if you think of it this way plants are basically inanimate objects if we as a society want to move forward at a faster and faster pace and if you are what you eat then therefore we cannot risk being stagnant and staying in one place like a plant does and therefore we need to become that which moves fast and so it's not only that i just want to eat meat i only want to eat the

meat of the fastest creatures that are available because i believe in advancing human society so you're you're you're against beef and pork and chicken. Those are subpar meats. You're in favor of, like, cheetah, horse. A turn? An arctic turn? I am exclusionary, but I'm exclusionary in a very exclusive way.

See, I don't just think that eating veggies is bad. I think that if you don't choose the meat that you eat properly based on speed alone, then you're never going to get anywhere in life. You're going to stay stagnant. You're going to, you're going to wither away. You're going to be like a vine on the, on the wind, on the wind. You're going to be like a vine. You're going to wither like a grape on the vine. neither of which humans should eat you gotta get your gazelles in you gotta get your cheetahs you gotta get your dogs are pretty fast i was gonna say you gotta get that dog that was put on the russian rocket

he went real fast the dog i'm sorry are you saying russian dog went to space what was his name are you saying that we should try and eat like a a russian dog who was launched into space on november 3rd 1957 i mean to be fair that dog was smarter to figure out how to go to space and also was fast i mean that's fair i just want to make sure i understand your argument. Exactly. Yeah. It's really about thinking what is best for yourself and no one else. And as someone who has tried, dabbled my tootsie into the carnivore diet, I will say, and I didn't really do it carnivore. I want to be very clear. I just like, I didn't do it right at all.

I did probably get shingles because of that. But other than that, I was so fit all right what an what an argument i rest my case all right wade how did that strike your ears how did you like mark i'm torn here because i feel like some some possible winners were left out like when you're going 65 on the highway and a bug hits your windshield and that bug is then also going 65 on the highway we could eat those at that point because they're going fast absolutely 100 but what if i have a potted plant in my car and that plant is moving fast with the car now see the see see the thing is see the thing is what happens if suddenly see inertia only affects animals and if you stop that plant stops i'm bob i think i'm sold

how could i argue with such logic i didn't know that i learned something today thank you and i'm bob i think i'm sold how could i argue with such logic i didn't know that i learned something today thank you and i'm too lazy to do my own research so i'm just gonna take that as fact yep is that another point for mark is that what you're saying here yeah all right two points for mark thank you you gave him a softball and he crushed it not enough but you're getting there buddy don't worry about it it's what i do it's what i do guys i come here to perform i was gonna sing a song for that one too but i thought you know not needed i had that one in the bag in the bag all right mark this i'm i will say this is the last one so this is the pinnacle of the devil's advocacy that i'm gonna have you do today and i just want to tell you sir I am of the opinion human life is valuable and sacred and deserving of protection.

Even babies, although they may be helpless and although they may not be self-aware until a certain point, they are still humans. They are still valuable. And unfortunately, our friend Mark is of the position that a dog being self-aware and having value of their own might be more valuable than a baby because babies are useless. I can't believe my quote unquote friend, but I'm dying to hear your arguments, Mark. The nerve for him to say that to a father and a bald man. Why might a dog have more value than a baby what could that possibly be derived from mark let me tell you let me paint you a mental picture here okay all right how much can a baby lift practically nothing like nothing right

like nothing you are dying you had a log fall on top of you you you were walking with your companion either a baby or a dog right so you're in the woods you were just hiking enjoying nature enjoying life and you go oh what is that oh and you run straight away from it you know you're running away the trees falling this way laterally of course because you can do nothing else there's no other way around and then you get crushed underneath and your baby falls out of your hands and or your dog falls out of your hands which one of those is going to save you which one of those is going to actually uh be able to get you out of this situation well i can tell you the baby definitely won't be able to do much i have one of those exactly how big is the dog and how small is the tree? See, it's not even a thing. The baby is not strong enough to lift it even if it was

a lighter tree and hit you, you're not dead so I'm not assuming it's a redwood or something that's going to kill you because that's a whole different story and that's a different scenario and I'll get to that. You're crushed by a 178 year old sequoia. It's 82 feet across. But think of it this way,

if you were to be crushed, even the dog didn't lift it. The dog could go get help for you. The dog could go get help for you. That baby won't help you at all. That baby is going to cry, but he's just complaining. Oh, he's going to be so sad. Yeah, that baby is not going to have a good time. Yeah, exactly.

On top of that, babies will eventually grow up to be adults. And that sucks. Long term commitment. You want to talk about free trials, you know? Dogs, much more temporary than a baby. I'm sorry, are you arguing that dogs are good because they die faster? Yep, sure do. Oh, okay.

Yeah, I see that. If you get a bad baby, you're stuck with that baby for a long, long time. If you get a bad dog, you're stuck with that dog only for as long as it's alive. You see what I'm getting at? Keep going. You're on a roll. How long is it going to take to perpetuate the generations, huh? You're not going to get more babies out of your investment.

Your return on baby is just going to take so long. You got a longer time horizon for your thing. But you get dog, your return on dog, you're going to get more dogs year over year your your investment's gonna triple double and quintuple are you selling the babies in this scenario are you selling the babies and puppies yeah eventually okay okay i just want to make sure you don't want to keep all of them you got to get stem cells somewhere anyway so uh but you know you're gonna get so many more dogs out of your dog than you would babies out of your baby and you're gonna be dead by the time that that the generations spill out to take advantage of them you know if we're thinking about long-term

investments and stealing from the future for the now which obviously is the greatest strategy for positive returns and cash flow you know i just think the dogs are going to be the superior investment launcher all right wade whose life do you think is more valuable monetarily or otherwise a baby human buy a dog buy a dog when you're trapped under a log if you're swimming in a deep uncertain bog get a dog get a dog it's better than i'm really glad that the only disney movie keeps making a return you know i gotta say it was a pretty convincing argument however no however it's pretty convincing he also presented mostly mla format and i don't have a baby but i do have dogs so i think i value a dog more than my own baby so for that reason sure wow somebody keep that clip somewhere just in case let me keep that clip for the future so are you giving another point to mark yeah did you did you see the note oh yeah i did now it's too late uh no good so you're up three points for

mark yay still not enough points but maybe you'll get there. Not enough points for what? Don't worry about it. What do you mean? Anyway, that's the end of the segment called Our Friend is the Devil. So I think this is where I step in with my segment, right? Yeah. Wade has a segment now.

Oh, wow. Are you excited, Mark? Yeah. Am I really switching sides? Or like I take the other position? Oh, it's a whole other segment. It's a whole nother game. Whole nother game.

All right, good. We'll just play it out. The points are less opinionated this time. And they're just matter of fact. So it should be pretty easy to earn points here. My segment's called Somebody is a Liar. Interesting. Basically, I'm going to two different uh headlines or stories

for you one of them's true one of them's false and you just have to tell me which one's true if you say the true one you get a point oh okay all right okay cool yeah it's easy okay so i just have to say the true one out of the two options got it okay this seems you might not know them but you just have to pick which one you think is true. Yeah, which one everyone sounds most plausible. All right, first one. Man missing for two weeks found after completing a marathon that didn't exist. Or mom delivers own baby after watching YouTube tutorial. I am so fascinated to Google right now if there is a tutorial on YouTube for how to deliver a baby.

Oh, you know there is. It's made by the same people that do the car tutorial videos. It's actually a tasty video. You should see the React community to delivering babies. It's a five-minute crafts video about how to deliver your own baby. You got some zip ties and a hot glue gun. It's a five minute crafts video about how to deliver your own baby. You got some zip ties and a hot glue gun. I ran a poll and my community voted that I need to deliver my own baby. Here's how I did it.

Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot. Yep. No, you know that definitely exists. That's out there. Yeah. I'm going to go with, I'm going to go with, however, the guy who ran the marathon that didn't exist. Okay.

All right. Man missing for two weeks found after completing a marathon that didn't exist. I feel like there's an implied Florida man missing for two weeks found after completing a marathon. But like, I'm just, I'm just inferring that. That must be. It can be implied however you want because that story is false. The mom did deliver her own baby after watching YouTube video.

No way. Did it go okay? I don't know. I didn't read the article. I just found the headline. God, geez. I was a little pressed for time. But I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to figure out.

If you want to search that, I can go on to the next one. Hang on, let me look. I don't even know what to Google for this. This is going to ruin my search history. Oh, and I forgot to search that, I can go on to the next one. I, um, what? Hang on, let me look. I don't even know what to Google for this. This is going to ruin my search history. Oh, and I forgot to tell you, Mark. Since you got that wrong, that point goes to Bob and I. Oh. For no particular reason.

Like, it's not like it really does anything. It's just, it went to us. Okay. All right. So it's three points for Mark, one point for us. Yeah. Oh. Okay.

All right. Okay. Gotcha. Um. A woman who had no idea she was pregnant was forced to deliver her own baby in a hotel room with only YouTube for guidance. Uh, she returned home Okay, gotcha. A woman who had no idea she was pregnant was forced to deliver her own baby in a hotel room with only YouTube for guidance. She returned home with a healthy son. How do you not know?

Yeah, I don't know how that works. I have no idea how you could be pregnant and not know, but I guess pregnancy is different for every woman. I guess I could understand, like, back in the day, I'm sure that, you know, and some people even today are ignorant of their own bodies, like men or women, it doesn't matter. But it's just like, that seems like something you'd notice. This article buries the lead. This woman was on a flight out of the United States and wrongly believed that her contractions were symptoms of food poisoning or something. She landed in Istanbul, went through the chaotic customs queue and realized as she was standing in the airport that it was in fact a baby coming she was determined not to give

birth on the airport floor so she took a taxi to a hotel where she watched a youtube tutorial and gave birth to her own son that's a way more insane story than a red than the headline even less on yeah it is so she shared her story on, and these are quotes of the article. So I'm in a foreign country where no one speaks English. I don't know this country's emergency number. I have no clue what to do. So I'm like, yo, it's game time. I don't have time to be nervous.

It's time to get shit done. I spring into action, filling up the tub with warm water. Hashtag water burn. I grab a towel to bite down on, grabbing another towel to wrap him or her up with whatever pops out it's weird how focused the purpose becomes when their adrenaline starts going at no point did i ever freak out i just did what i had to do i this lady is not messing around i mean yeah no uh it's time to get down to business holy crap it's game time let's have a baby i guess let's have a baby that's kind of that's

kind of nuts um well i'm actually glad that one's more true i should have believed in that one more well you'll have another chance don't worry about it mark okay cool thank you so here's the next two headlines pizza delivery man gets 180 000 settlement after being crushed by 400 pounds of cheese or elon musk did it again dash dash k-i-n-G again. Dot dot dot. No other details about that. Just the headline. I mean, I feel like that one's just true in general because that probably is an article that is written.

And the other guy getting crushed by 400 pounds of cheese as much as I would love to like, you know. They both sound like probably true. I just like to imagine the guy getting crushed by cheese laying on the floor with like his spleen ruptured. And he's laying, he's like, oh, and he looks around and he's like, oh, everyone's looking at me. I should, I better get a laugh. And he goes, who cut the cheese? Am I right? As he's laying there like bleeding internally. As they eat his way out of it.

It's not really like a true or false thing the elon musk thing is just like that's just someone saying something just as if it's a real headline a real story yeah it's not yeah not whether the headline is true but like does that is that a real story you can read i'm gonna go with the elon musk one because it is is it about him having more kids well it's interesting you ask elon must did it again is a false story i made up so i don't know because the pizza one was true that's also not what the document that you said i know i changed it up because the more i read that one i was like i don't like this one i feel like that's too that was too fake would you believe parent mistakenly names child after

self while signing documents yeah kind of kind of. A little bit. I just felt like that was too generic, and I was like, I don't know. I'm going to make it just something. Oh, the Elon one was big bait. That was good bait. Yeah, that definitely. That's another point for us, baby. Three points for Mark.

Two points for the victors. What? I mean hosts. Uh-huh. The hosts. You have a fair chance, Mark. Don't worry about it. Okay, good.

Good. I'm glad. I hope the pizza delivery guy is okay. But yeah 180k at least he's richer yeah i mean if he got a settlement i hope that means he got you know what was the office they were like the boss walks by all right there's the oven stay away from that there's the assembly stay away from the here's the tower of cheese i walk by it to feel grand and also this, this is the delivery guy, not like one of the cooks. This is the delivery guy. So look, I've been a pizza delivery guy, and I will say there is definitely that much cheese

in like a busy chain pizza store. And it's usually in like huge vacuum sealed blocks. And I could totally see how haphazardly stacked cheese mound. I would bet money this dude was trying to find a way to be lazy at work and he went into the walk-in where the cheese is stored and tried to like sit on the cheese like it's a bench because if it's stacked up in tiers right there's like little ledges i 100 have gone into the walk-in and like sat on a box of whatever to like sit down and take a break when you're not supposed to he totally tried to sit on the cheese and it was just poorly stacked and it collapsed on him and he was all i just came in

here and it fell over no what what it really was is it's a pure tower of cheese and every so often like the boss will come in and like all right who took a bite out of the bottom i swear if you guys keep this up it's gonna fall on one of you. And Lassie every day goes like, oh, no, no, no. Wasn't me. Wasn't me. They pull out one mozzarella stick and eat it. Yeah.

That guy was like, he's the guy that never has done it. Never taken a bite. All the other guys have done it. And he's like, fine. I'll just string off one little bit. One tiny scoop. And then he got crushed. Yeah.

Well, that's what you get for being a naughty employee. That's what you get. Mark, you're doing terribly so far. Let's move on to the third round. Yeah, this really is not your segment, buddy. I hope it really picks up. I did great on the last one. Okay. University student who filmed flatmates in the shower

asks for privacy. Okay. Doctor who removed wrong organ from patient blames bad traffic for quote rattling him what was the first one university student who filmed flatmates in the shower asks for privacy all right i'm gonna go with that one because i don't think you would have used the term flatmates as your title. Clever. Unless you picked that because you thought that that'd be more realistic. No, no, no.

I think, do you want to lock it in? I'm locking it in. All right. Good call. I did not, in fact, make up flatmates. Yes! Did you yourself make up the doctor one, though? Because that's pretty funny. That was really convincing, though.

That was really, rattling him is very funny. But yeah, flatmates, that stuck out to me. So apparently some student who placed, I guess, cameras in the shower and filmed his flatmates asked for privacy while the court proceedings were going on. So after invading privacy, he himself or she herself asked for privacy. Oopsie doodles. Although you weren't supposed to find them yeah no if you just not noticed and nobody would have got hurt yeah i don't know how they

got caught but i imagine probably pretty obvious that they were being filmed one way or another there was this there was this tiktok that i saw there was some um some 4chan dude that was uh talking about passwords and stuff like that he's like you gotta make your passwords more secure this was not good enough like it can't it has to be more than 12 it's got to be like a you got to pick a random number generation and then put that through like a cryptographic hash and then it spits out like a 32 digit random numbers and letters combination and then you got to memorize it write it down on a piece of paper memorize it until you can remember it forever and then burn the piece of paper and i'm like or you make up a password that's just pee pee poo poo one two three exclamation uh here sit down upon my knee

you know if you if you make it that long it's also going to be impossible to brute force like you don't need to make a cryptographic thing you could literally like pick a pick a word from a list of words or something that's just not affiliated with you, your personal history, or your family names or anything. My dad is like that. My dad is that guy. Growing up, we always had PA2 security even before that was normal. And he had a 64 character randomly generated using all the characters on the keyboard password.

And so that's annoying but like fine we had it you know we had it somewhere written down so you could put it in i got a psp for christmas one year on the original psp on the software keyboard that was in the os there was no way to input a tilde and my dad's password had one tilde in it. So that was like my first gaming device that had Wi-Fi. And I was like, what is the symbol? And he like looked and he was like, oh, no, you could definitely put it's a keyboard. That's on the keyboard. There was no way to enter it.

So my dad changed his Wi-Fi password from something insane to still long, but language based and numbers based just so that I could use my PSP, which I appreciate. Thanks, Dan. but language based and numbers based uh just so that i could use my psp which i appreciate thanks dan and also like it was so funny because this tiktok that i saw it's like what do you need to hide that requires this level of password oh speaking of security on tiktok did you have you guys seen the um the cyber security guy who made the password game you know it starts and it's like put a password in and it's like it must be this number of characters you must have uppercase lowercase must have a number but it keeps adding rules and the rules get increasingly unhinged and so it's like you must add up at least three numbers that add up to 25 you must add a year and but it's all the numbers in your thing still have to add up to 25 you must correctly guess this random geo guesser and then it pops up a geo guesser thing like shit like that and uh like it just it gets so unhinged it's hilarious

that's hilarious i love that but i win a point right you do one point for you all right we have two more here um host of popular podcast blatantly steals episode idea from co-host and makes both other co-hosts the winners interesting interesting markiplier hosts fun escape room episode on completely original take when hosting distractible so one of those is true and one of those is not true mark which one do you want to be true they're stories they don't have to be headlines headlines or stories i thought it was like headlines of articles that agreed that was like the those are criteria well there's lots of stuff online yeah there's lots of stuff there's lots of things you could definitely find uh articles online it's just which one of these

things is true which one is false if i go to say reddit right now and a certain subreddit is just going to be what no maybe i mean there's no googling though there's no cheating that would be cheating what was the second one what was the second one? Markiplier hosts fun escape room episode on completely original take when hosting Distractible. Man, I think that's the one. That's got to be. That's the truth. You want to lock that one in? Yeah, locked in.

Okay. False. Sorry. The one that was true was host the popular podcast Blatantly Steals episode idea from co-host and makes both of their co-hosts the winners. Ah. I wonder what show that's from. I don know that's weird yeah okay well that's another point for us that three three points for us and four for mark i think so yeah oh boy we're catching up wade kind of no uh we have one more here uh mark agrees to split his youtube ad revenue with wade and bob evenly for the next

five years as an apology for stealing bob's podcast idea or mark admits he stole bob's idea which one of those is true huh crazy what was it was the first one again mark agrees to split his ad revenue with wade and bob for the next five years nothing big and what was the second one mark admits he stole bob's idea there's a little bit of extra here specifically in the last episode he hosted before this one of the podcast distractible oh i don't think you've ever i think you've ever stolen my idea mark well i don't know what that's referring to that'd be that'd be very strange yeah so maybe just go with the first one yeah just say the first one maybe look at the camera while you say it out loud say what was the second one again in the specificity of it was all the specificity

uh mark admits he stole bob's idea when hosting the previous episode before this one of distractible or mark agrees to split his youtube revenue evenly with wade and bob for the next five years as an apology without having to admit really doing anything wrong so uh which one's true uh yeah the first one's true because i heard that mark rober is gonna split his youtube revenue with his friends oh i am so sorry mark a plier no that's not what you said locked in i think that one's true i think that one's true i think that one's true mark rober i always knew him as a scumbag but this is really turning my opinion around on him such so good to his friends splitting his revenue like that for five years that's great uh applauds to him somehow despite picking the right one you still didn't get it right that's unfortunate i thought i had

that one so what's true is mark applier aka a.k.a. Mark Fischbach, agrees to split YouTube ad revenue with Wade Barnes and Bob MySkins evenly for the next five years as an apology. But that's what I, well, I mean, not that, but that's not the headline. No, you agree to that pretty much. All right. And that's another point for Wade and Bob. So I think we're tied up. That makes it four to four. Mark, you'll be getting a letter from a law firm later on today.

We will be billing you for, I guess, the next five years. Appreciate it, man. Well, I don't know what you mean. All right. I guess that's it for my segment. I hope you all enjoyed it. All right. Well, coming out of Wade's segment, it's tied four to four between the competitors in today's episode.

It's very exciting. And I think you're going to really enjoy this last segment, Mark. This is another idea that you hosted and submitted Wade and I to. So what we're going to do... Oh, the name of the segment is Mark's Musical Menagerie. Oh, cool. And what we're going to do is you're just going to talk about that small talk that you had queued up at the beginning of.

So we'll talk about that. Maybe we'll talk about tech updates. Who knows? Okay. And at some point, there's just gonna maybe be some music that sort of comes in in the background and whatever line you say immediately before the music starts uh you're gonna go ahead and sing a song or maybe rap a song about that line oh good man all right i'm so ready yeah no we warmed up uh before we started recording so mark that's why he was singing so much in the first segment i assume he's just bursting with

musical ideas i am i am i'm so ready i love this the music should have a little bit of a lead-in so if you want to take a minute and collect yourself listen to it and get get a feel for it um you get you get a couple bars of lead-in and with this with the select tracks all right if you want to take a minute and collect yourself, listen to it, and get a feel for it, you get a couple bars to lead in with the select tracks. All right. If you can play a song until you hear this, not play, sing a song until you hear this sound, you can earn a point, Mark. Oh, great. That's awesome.

Yeah. So this will be fun. Yeah. So Mark, how are you doing? Get back to that small talk. How's it going, buddy? I'm good. You know, I'm in the middle of, you know, still editing.

Haven't had much time to get out, you know, trying to just like stay on top of things. But pretty soon here, you know, I'm going to go to Korea, visit some family. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Just like every day. There's some cool tech stuff coming out nowadays. Some camera developments, you know, that I got to read up on and store it. Yeah. Well, just like every day. There's some cool tech stuff coming out nowadays, some camera developments, you know,

that I got to read up on and store it, yeah. Well, no, so you said you're going to Korea. That's pretty fun. How long are you going to be over there? Just like a short trip? Just like four or five days, yeah. I got to go see family for Chuseok and then just come right back.

Not much time to spend over there, but I promised I would, so. I promised I would I promised I would I promised I could I will go over to Korea very soon I will not go anywhere else I'm gonna go there and eat some food

and do real good I won't miss my his name is I'll be having I'm gonna go there and eat some food and do real good. I won't miss my cousin. His name is Young Bae. I hope you have a lovely, fantastic day. I want to go out to Korea. I want to see someone named Maria. I hope I go.

Is it over? You got there, buddy. You earned yourself a point. Yes! With your wonderful song about Korea visiting. Korea's real hard to rhyme with. Gonorrhea. I gotta be honest.

I was really trying to catch Jusuk, the holiday. But I didn't Quite get it I mean, I had no idea what you were gonna say That music just spontaneously played its own self Mark That face you made when you heard the beat Is such the thing that happened to us On stage so many times

Especially Bob, where i was just like dan would play this the most rap like song dad always played me the goddamn rap beat and i didn't i couldn't do it well excellent song mark an excellent point five points for mark four for us all right he's up by one thank you please. Please keep telling us about... Oh, right, I keep going. You said you needed to read up on some new camera tech? Yeah, well, I mean, just keeping up with it. You know, Blackmagic, I think, had a big update event. Blackmagic Design, they make DaVinci Resolve

and they make some affordable camera equipment. It's pretty nice what they got going on there. It's just like I'm preparing for the next project that I got going. I want to know some more things about it so i try to keep up with um things i've got i got a komodo x recently so that's like my camera of choice for now um but yeah that's that's pretty nice man you're always so full of tech ideas you said before we jumped into this episode mark you were you were trying to work on something that broke yeah your hair kept touching it was What was the thing that broke?

It's called a Metabone speed booster. So what it is, is it converts, you know, the Komodo is an RF mount. So I needed to go to PL because a lot of my lenses are positive lock lenses. But at the same time, you can get something called a speed booster, which has another lens in it. Then what that does is because the komodo x is a super 35 you have a full frame lens if you get a speed booster on it it can actually concentrate the light onto the smaller sensor and it'll make it but the problem is you gotta you gotta fine-tune the manual back the back focus so that you know your lenses focus works right and so what ended

up happening is i get in there i unscrew the tiny little screws and the actual element will not turn. I think I look, I can't really see, but it seems like the threads are kind of stripped inside there. And so when I try to turn it, it doesn't move. I've disassembled the whole thing and I kept getting like finger smudges all over the thing and tiny little metal shavings were going on the lens. So I have to order another one because it was just like completely broken. So it was making me incredibly frustrated. is that thing called the what speed booster it's a metabones speed booster metabones in the zone i need to get a speed booster on my own, but it's broke. I got no joke.

There's something else to rhyme with smoke. I want more light on my sensor. And I think that there's gonna be someone at my door with a new one, a better one, something that I can adjust, but I just can't say where it's gonna be. But I know I must, and I wanna see more things with my lens, a wider view. But when I look inside that one there, it's not even new.

It is broken. It's gone. I hate my life and my lawn. It is broken. It's gone. I hate my life and my lawn. It is the worst side story. Not something that I thirst. It's gonna die. My career. If I can't.

Can we roll that one back? I want to see that one again. You got into a really serious flow there, Mark. You're acting like embarrassed or something but that was that was good i like that that was a journey all those warm-ups really paid off you're feeling it thank you you were aided by a really sick beat but you nailed it well i i feel like we need like one more small talk thing you were going to talk about mark what was that i mean i'm looking forward to the when those M3s are going to come out.

I know it's greedy of me because the M2 Ultra just came out a little bit ago. And I know there's not going to be like an M3 Ultra for another year at least. But, you know, looking forward to it. Love my Mac. My Mac guy. I feel like there's a lot of cool developments there and potential. So you're not a PC guy? Well, no. like there's a lot of cool developments there and potential so you're not a pc guy well no i mean i

use pc but i have a mac 2 also uh are you wait so are you gonna get a macbook pro with an m3 or are you gonna get like a studio or also oh no go ahead you just said also oh oh uh yeah i mean when a when the m3 macbook pro comes out not the 13-inch. Like, obviously, I would wait for the 13-inch. Like, my computer's great. I can't really complain about it. So it's good. I'm just greedy about tech. I'm...

I'm greedy. I'm greedy. I'm greedy about technology. I need something new. I need to know that I can brew up a storm of editing. Lots of things, colors and beauty and something with wings. I want to go away to M3. I love that show.

It's a good one. That's a classic tune, really. What is that from? That's from Royalty Free Music website. I believe for that one, I searched happy show tune. Ah, good, good. I can tell you what the thing is called. It's called A Brand New Sun.

Ooh. Take you away to M3 in a brand new sun. It's like a New Day's Rising on the M3. Yeah. That's good. That's good. Did I get a point? You get a point, Mark. Thank you! Gosh darn it. You played along like such a good sport.

I mean, I don't know. I didn't really expect you to not play along, but honestly, I'm a little annoyed that the songs were kind of good and mostly funny. I was sort of expecting at least one of them to be like a crash and burn type scenario. You really didn't deliver on that. So I'm a little disappointed, but... I put us behind in the start, Bob,

but I'm not going to lie. We had him in the second half. Third half, he came back. We played three halves and that was our mistake. We should have stopped at two. Yep. Should never have gotten into improper fractions. Well, you weren't even ahead in the other half.

It was still tied, yeah. No, but it was tied, and it would have been sudden death overtime, which I think two versus one is a pretty clear advantage. Well, you haven't gone up against me. We were going to play who's tallest for the fourth game, but I guess we don't get to get to that one. There's no way to prove that in a... Everyone stand up. Who's tallest?

Mark, you only come to here. No, no, no. You know what, Mark? Excellent job. Thank you. With seven points versus our four, I think that officially makes you the winner of this episode. Yippee! It would have been

just absolutely insane for Wade and I as the hosts to make one of ourselves, the hosts, a winner of the episode, because that's just a really weird thing to do and kind of kind of rude, really. Kind of shitty. On the bright side, though, you get to play devil's advocate

while determining what's true or false while singing your winner's speech. Yeah, Mark. Winner's speech. I'm the best. I'm the best. I'm the best. He's the best. I am better than all of the rest.

All of the rest. Bob and Wade. Bob and Wade. They're the worst. He's the best. I am better than all of the rest. All of the rest. Bob and Wade. Bob and Wade. They're the worst. They're the worst. They can do anything. They just are the worst. They just are the worst.

I won't believe in anyone but myself, and I won't give them another host. I am the one who wins forever and ever and a day. And a day. Well, congratulations, Mark. I had high hopes that Wade and I would get to host another one, that you wouldn't be able to muster it up to win the points, but I appreciate you. You're really playing along, buddy.

Thank you. Thank you. You got it up in ways we didn't know you could. Thank you. I tried really hard. I barely tried. One of these is tried. Really? I barely tried. One of these is true. One of them is false.

I guess the viewers will decide. The listeners. All right, Wade. Do you want to do the outro? The loser's outro? I mean, we don't need to give a loser. We're the hosts. We don't have to lose.

No, that's true. We didn't really lose. You want to do the outro with some joyful music behind you, Wade? Joyful music? Sure. You don't have to sing. You can just talk. It's just very nice to have this on, you know? Thank you guys so much for watching.

If you haven't already, go subscribe or follow Markiplier, Bob, MySkirm, me, Wade, Minion777, or LordMinion777. We have merch at store.destructiblepodcast.com, hopefully, probably. I hope you all enjoyed this episode. It's called Bob, Wade, and Friend. Stay tuned for whatever comes next. Until then, podcast out.