Distractible - We Hate These States

Episode Date: May 30, 2025

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Doom The Dark Ages is available now on Xbox Series X and S, PlayStation 5, and PC. Rated M for Mature. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. for Mature. then removes the islands, patriots, party and packers where Mantic Wade is loved up with Cicada Dare picks on Pennsylvania, the Windy City and the Lone Star from popsicles to population loss Yeeeahhhhhh!

It's time for We Hate These States Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and Enjoy the show Hello welcome to distractible Thank you for joining us for another evening and or morning or you're that weirdo that's staying up until midnight for when the episode releases Hey, you're the best and weirdest of them all. Thank you But this is distractible the show where I'm the host and these two are the competitors in the game of my choosing

Which is usually made up and half Fleshed out and not quite done which is no exception on this episode But before we get into any of that we're gonna discover what's going on in our lives or the world around us You know it doesn't have to just be our lives the world you know exists outside of this podcast Oh, but oh this is Bob and Wade sorry I didn't even say that oh, okay I didn't want to I didn't want to step out of turn, but hello. Hi. Hello. Hi. I really want one of those old, they're still called popsicles.

The kind that came in the package and they were liquidy and you put them in the freezer and there's the orange, the red, the pink. You mean like Otter Pops? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Eason went on a big thing about Otter Pops during this one, so. I don't know why, but somehow you doing your intro made me think, I want that. His intro specifically made you feel that? I wasn't thinking about it, and then he started talking, and I was like, ooh, one of those sounds real good right now.

Huh. Didn't get that at all on my end. Merch? Wait, too soon. We'll do that later. And podcast out. Oh, I almost said it. So I don't know if I talked about this on the...

Are we doing small talk? Sorry. We're doing small talk. Yeah, okay. This is I don't know if I talked about this on the show previously, but James Splash tables I think is what they're I don't know. It's like a little table you fill it up with water and he plays in It right. It's just like you play with toys in it. Whatever. It's really good summer toy cuz it's like it's not just running a sprinkler It's like a set amount of water, so you don't just, you know, blast water every which way. And last summer, he got one of those and I looked at it and I was like, you know what would be really sick? There's like a top and a bottom.

And if you put, if you pour water in the top, it like rains and it's really fun. But you have to physically like take a bucket and pour it. And I was like, what if I buy, what if I get like a, like an aquarium pump and I'll feed a hose up to the top and I'll set the pump in the bottom and then, and it'll like cycle the water. So it's always right.

And I did all this research and I bought one thing off the internet and it didn't work and I bought another thing off the internet and it didn't work for other reasons. And it was all that like literally my setup would be like I have an external battery pack with like a USB Cord running to the pump into water It's all just the sketchiest shit and I was like I spent a lot of time trying to homebrew this thing Never quite worked right eventually. I just gave up and whatever. On the internet yesterday, I was presented with an ad

for exactly that product made in the simplest, most concise way possible. It's just a thing, you drill one hole, you set- and I looked and I was like, this costs less than one of my multiple attempts at doing it myself did. Son of a bitch. But anyway, I bought one, so James is gonna have

the dopest water table to play on this summer, and I'm pretty excited about it. That's cool. Well, also, I'm an idiot, and I can't ever, I always am like, I'll just do it, I'll make it myself. I'll home brew it. Nah, I should probably just buy it. Whatever I'm gonna make, it's either not gonna work,

or it's gonna be so fucking terrible that I just wish I would have bought it I wouldn't want to put your child in the way of that like it like I it works But the whole water table is electrified somehow even though I don't know Maybe I should just let a company hold on to that liability for me I'm sure they wouldn't do anything to harm my child right companies care Yeah, of course and Especially these companies are sponsors. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime.

You know what I got off of Amazon that is actually a crucial component of this show? My coin that I can never remember which side is heads and which side is tails. Well, it's not just about products. Sometimes it's about shows and Amazon Prime also comes with Prime video. Whatever it is, Prime helps you get more out of whatever passions you're into or getting into. Head to amazon.com slash prime and follow your obsession wherever it goes. goes. God, wow. That was some amount of sponsors. I love those guys.

Sure hope we don't get baby eater LLC. Here at shock your baby. We make sure to shock your baby. Oh, and since I'm talking about buying things, Mark, can I just say you influenced me? Yes. You influenced things, Mark, can I just say you influenced me? Yes! You influenced me, Mark. I know it's what you set out to do. Do you love it?

Oh! I honestly do. It's really nice. I don't even know what you held up. This is, you know that thing that Mark was using to keep track of points? It's an E Ink writing tablet thingy and there's a little marker on the side this is the one that has color obviously has the yellow also I don't know what I just flashed on there. Editors make sure it's horrible.

Put it in Guam you influenced me and it's awesome. I'm not using it today weirdly enough but it is really really interesting. The only reason I'm not using it because there's a pencil and an old school pencil sharpener here. Wait. Ooh. So I- I- and they work so well. Like I haven't used these since school. Do you guys remember the one, the manual crank that used to be on the wall in classrooms and you just honestly work really well too the only

problem with those is you have to wait in line to use them because it's like oh everyone get your pencils out and like five kids would be like I need to sharpen my pencil all at the same time waiting waiting in line to sharpen your pencil is just such a strange thing I mean I'm sure there are still schools that do sharpen your pencils, but just like I haven't had to deal with that in so long. I couldn't tell you the last time I sharpened a pencil. Uh, actually that's not true, but I use, uh, in the, in the garage for like woodworking stuff, I use carpenter's pencils.

I just sharpen it with like a utility blade. Like you don't, there's no, cause it's a big square thing anyway, but like a pencil, like putting it in and the like woo woo woo woo that whole thing what a what a weirdly nostalgic thing it doesn't smell good actually I think this has been handled by many people did you ever see if you could fit your fingers in there did you ever have that intrusive thought no there was a kid no I'm just saying it wasn't't me. Did it work? No, a kid sliced up his finger. Oh, damn.

I had that thought, but I was always, I was that kid who would be like, Ah, nah, I can't do it. Nah. But like, I had, I definitely had that intrusive thought a lot. It didn't get like shredded like you would think, cause it didn't go all the way in. But the front, whatever the sharpener was it had a front like round like metal tube and that was sharp so it cut a circular hole right in Oh, oh, I don't like that very much. I'm gonna deduct a point for myself for that. Yeah, that's not good.

Don't like don't like I didn't mention this last episode It still hasn't happened yet as of now, but it would have been Monday as of the release of this episode I think, did my math right? Molly and I have been together seven years over seven years now and Ginger is seven years old because her birthday is our anniversary and uh Presley is about to turn seven years old and it's wild all of this has lasted that long I didn't expect it... death or what are we talking here? Just something. Like, you know? Thought this marriage would be shambles by now.

What are we talking here? I had kind of a rocky childhood growing up, so I think like part of that just has like my mindset is always like, well the other shoe's gonna drop at some point. Enjoy it while you got it, but you're gonna lose it. It's just kind of like the way I feel about things. It's not very optimistic. That's fair. I don't know if it's pessimistic, but it's just been kind of like my experience. So I call it, it feels realistic to me. It's just like nothing lasts forever. So you will lose but so far knock on wood. This whole thing's lasted. Are you knocking on wood? Are you? Are you knocking on wood? Yeah, you might want to actually find some wood. Yeah,

I got a wood floor. I tapped my toes on it. Is it a real wood floor or is it a vinyl plank? I would make sure. You gotta find some wood fast. I know that office is in the basement. I know that that's unlikely to be real hardwood. Napkins are made of paper, which is made of wood, right? Napkins are actually made of lignin,

which is extracted from wood. Well, I've got an elephant shit diary from Tyler. Does elephant shit count as wood? I've heard it both ways. Maybe just knock on some shit. Cardboard's wood, right? Cardboard's just compressed paper, but if you count paper as wood... It's closer to wood than paper is. Cardboard, I like to call it partially wooded paper. Then again, I don't know what cardboard's made of. So what do I know? I might be completely

off base on that. Actually, is paper even made of lignin? Why do I think that? I have no idea. Lignin balls! Ha! Give yourself a point. Oh wait, Mark's hosting. I'll give myself a point anyway and I'll just give it to me in a future date. Yeah, yeah, lignin cellulose. It's it's the I believe it's the the binder That's gonna cut this out. What am I talking about? This is so boring You did it what are you being so upset about I like this is what we do here we talk about things Whatever whatever fascinating thing strikes the moment we talk about it. Whatever fascinating thing strikes the moment, we talk

about it. That's true. That's true. Plus, if you hadn't brought it up, we wouldn't have got to hear Wade's brilliant Ligman balls. Yeah, anniversary. It will have happened by the time this airs. Relationship in shambles. That's what I wrote the point as. If I do a bad job, it could be. I guess we'll see. Don't mess it up. You know what's at stake. Seven's not that important of a year, rights. Maybe I'll give her a coupon to

In these or something coupon to make you a sandwich It was a bad idea that was a bad idea that was a bad idea that was the joke hang on wait No, it's funny. It's funny. All right. I not to brag about myself, but I've always been a very bad gift-giver I'm just notoriously terrible at giving gifts. Weird flex, but okay I have been making it a point of getting better and this latest gift that I got her I think really it was a lot cooler than I thought it would be because I thought it would be pretty pretty neat This I think I really really fucking nailed it this be because I thought it would be pretty pretty neat but this I think I really really fucking nailed it this year because I got her image stabilized binoculars okay she's

been doing some bird washings there's this app that like has bird noises and it recognizes what bird species and you can kind of log what it is Merlin Merlin yeah Merlin yeah yeah so she's been looking out for him and I didn't even know this was a thing you can get Binoculars that you put a battery in there and when you press a button it'll literally stable it like it stabilizes a camera Just all of a sudden the image because holding binoculars always like and then you feel sick after a little bit none of that Press a button instantly stable. It's awesome. That's pretty sick if anyone out there is looking for a good gift. It's not cheap It's I believe it was 700 bucks for this one. Um, but it's, it was good. It was good binoculars.

Well, for what it is. Yeah. They're really nice. And with the image stabilization, they become infinitely more usable. You can just like, you can track things and spot them. We were watching people climb up this mountain. Amy saw a bird eat a tarantula. Damn.

Something about that is making me itchy. Probably the tarantula part. The bird eating the tarantula. Damn. Something about that is making me itchy. Probably the tarantula part. The bird eating the tarantula. Oh yeah, it was fucked up. Like, that's like, wow, that's cool, but also part of me is very much like, ah, don't say that. Yeah, well, the more disturbing part of it was that she was watching it dig in the ground, right? So she was like, oh, it might be going for-

I didn't see it at the time, so this is the story. She was watching it dig in the ground, and it was really scratching at it, and it was flinging dirt everywhere. And it was kind of going at this hole that was already there, and she wasn't sure if it was going after, like, a chipmunk or something. And then, as it's digging for, like, five, six minutes here, it just pulls out. Like, if I'm... if my head is the bird, size... massive. Just tarantula. And she's seeing it all in extreme detail, gigantic. And what it made us realize that all the holes in the ground in the entire area were probably tarantulas.

Yeah, no, that is a thing. I think I've told this story once before on the show, but when we lived in the Bay Area, Mount Diablo is a big thing up there. You go up top of the mountain, there's an observatory. We went up, the first time I ever went up there, I think it was the first time Mandy did, we got up to the top, we just drove right to the top to see the observatory and the overlook. And we got there and like, you know, people were milling around, sort of talking to people and someone was like, man, if we were here

two weeks earlier, we just missed tarantula mating season. And I was like, I don't care for that, but what happens? And they were like were like oh all the tarantulas come out of their holes in the ground and they're all just frantically running around looking for other tarantulas to fuck Apparently there's a time of year on Mount Diablo And I assume everywhere else tarantulas live where it's mating season And so they all just come out and they're just like oh and they're like they're frenzied and they're looking to to reproduce and i don't even know what tarantulas do lay eggs i guess but so tarantulas have like a college hell week basically

yeah but so if you're there then there's just tarantulas fucking everywhere but they like ignore humans and everyone else because they're just looking for other tarantulas to like make some babies. This is very arachnophobia for me like the movie. I just I don't like this. I don't like this at all. No, it sounds terrifying. I would not care for that. I mean, that's what happens when the cicadas come out I think is they're just out there. That is happening right now here. Oh is it? I don't know if this is one of the big ones or not, but like one of the walls of our house, we have like 13 shells just like groped up side by side and there's a whole bunch of like the little cicadas that

have just like shed their first skin that are like standing on like flower pots and stuff. So I don't know. This might be one of the big years. I don't remember if this is one of the was it 19 years cicadas or whatever the hell it is 17 or something like that 17 whatever it is there has been an emergence that started like two days ago It would be if it was the big one that whole wall would be covered and every tree would be covered But yeah, I don't know when I keep hearing or I keep thinking each summer that it's gonna be like oh This is the big one. No, no, I thought this was one of the years. Let me see It might be it might be this year. Yeah I just like the idea that like six cicadas all make that noise and that's one of the things when it is a big hatch

There there's that just constant like cicada buzz, but I love the idea that that's their equivalent of a guy just be like Thousands of cicadas are just like GAH! Brood 14 is having their 17 year emergence in Southwest Ohio this year. Oh god. Oh man. It's gonna be nuts. I hope so. If that's the

If this is the 17 year one which it says yeah. Holy shit. It's gonna be crazy. I'm excited I remember being down in Kentucky whenever there was one in Kentucky. You're excited. What's wrong with you? It's gonna be hell and like you go out in the evening and like you can hardly hear because it's just like all of them Making the only last like a month but like yeah, it's so loud that it's fucking annoying 24-7 it's only a month. I think that's so cool spiders No, thank you, but the cicadas. I love the cicada noise. Hmm. I think you've forgotten

Yeah, I'm seeing that too that this is 2025 is rude 20-14 yeah, 17 year cicadas is happening. Oh good Yeah, 17 years cicadas is happening. Oh good Hooray Yeah, I loved it as a kid. Maybe I'll hate it as an adult. I love this as a kid Apparently we're not in the dead center of it It looks like we're kind of on the northern edge of the air but being in southern Ohio work. We're close to it That's why I think Kentucky was like where it was like insane Whatever we would yeah, the map is showing like Tennessee,

Kentucky, uh, West Virginia up into Pennsylvania are like the, the spicy states. Okay. Yeah. Cause down by Lake Cumberland, I remember one of the broods was nuts. I remember there was one when we were like in like middle schoolish age that was pretty wild, but it was not the 17 year one. It would have been a different one. This apparently is cause I've noticed a bunch of shells

Hooray Hooray That's good to know well you guys oddly enough for segueing right into the topic, but not in the way that you would imagine It's something you would be mentioning a lot sex Maybe maybe there will be screaming later, but brooding probably a little bit of that I got a call I got a call I got a call from the big man upstairs Santa direct orders were downsizing who we should fire away. No not like that

We're downsizing America oh thank God. I got a call we got too many states We need to knock it down We need to start chucking out the states that don't matter now. You're not gonna look up anything. This is vibes We're knocking out states. We're getting down to 13. That's what it started as first flag at 13 Was 13 colonies became 13 states. That's the number that they want. It's not about me. It's not my want here. It's about what the orders are from on high. Got it. Okay. Some people think we need more states. Looking at you. Greenland, Canada. We gotta keep those two.

We gotta keep those two states. We gotta keep those two. For everyone already, these are jokes. These are jokes mocking an insane situation. We gotta keep the American, the American canal. Gotta keep that. We make jokes about ridiculous situations. Sometimes we say things in a serious tone but it's actually a joke. I.E. Stephen Colbert whenever he was on The Daily Show a lot. I mean he still, he pretty much still does a similar thing. He's still on TV. I don't know if you're familiar. I am, I've not seen the show much, but yeah. So, I don't want you to look up anything because, number one, it's also gonna be a test if you guys can remember all 50 states.

I can recite them all right now. Don't. Okay. So, we're gonna take turns, and you're gonna nominate one for deletion. This is not rolling a state into another state, we're not gonna merge the Dakotas to get the number down. This is eliminating states. They're gonna be carved out of the United States and they're gonna be chucked into either the Atlantic or Pacific Ocean. Whatever's easier. I've got my first state ready to go. Or the Gulf of America. Gulf of America, of course. Alright, so I'm gonna-

Oh, I don't- I'm like- Guys, I don't know what to call it. Ooh, that feels like a violation of distractible council rules. Is that? You think I know the council rules? I don't fucking know. I think I saw a penny here somewhere. Oh Mark, I've got one you can borrow. Oh, a penny!

Oh-hooo! Hey, look at that! Oh wow, we're really downsizing. Mm-hmm. Alright, so it's a... 2011 penny with a D on it. Got that weird shield on the back. Got my diploma from the University of Cincinnati that year. So heads is Bob, tails Wade going first.

Woo! Okay, tails. There's tails. That's me. Never fails. I'll allow you guys three vetoes. We're going gonna discuss it, it'll be an open discussion, but ultimately, you know, it's the person nominating. We're working together on this, I get it.

Yeah, we're working together, but if you really feel strongly that one state should stay, you can veto it, you know, but this is kind of a communal thing. It's only the turn as to who's proposing one to delete. So you both get three vetoes, and we're gonna whittle it down to 13 This will be easy at first and get incrementally harder I think the first state is something we will all agree on it makes sense and it's really the only choice I think that may be unanimous Pennsylvania's got to go Hmm. Why is it gonna be the first one you pick? I mean I get it

I understand why it had to come from me. I couldn't let Bob get to it before me. I won't ask any more details about why. I think I get why, but... Pittsburgh. That's the name of any names. Jesus Christ. It's gotta be Pittsburgh. Well, at least we're not in Pittsburgh this time. Fuck. Nothing like standing on a stage in front of a bunch of people from Pittsburgh and be like, fuck you Pittsburgh. I fucking

hate you guys. All right, let's have fun. We're here to have fun. If this was cities, I would get rid of Cleveland before Pittsburgh. It makes you feel any better. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, calm, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa recent development is not to represent the Browns as an organization. He represents the current Browns organization. Yeah, well, wasn't that a mistake? The contract, the decision, all of it. Anyway, Pennsylvania. All right. Okay.

All right. Okay. All right. Any veto Bob? No, I get it. Like I don't have the same hatred in my heart as Wade does, but I get it. We don't need two Ohio's is kind of where I'm coming from. All right.

And we already have, I'm assuming we all want Ohio to be in so maybe I will find out we'll find out. I don't want to downsize my own department here All right, Pennsylvania gone cut out thrown in the Atlantic Pittsburgh is basically like other Cincinnati right Wade sadly kind of Not so different after all. That's the thing, it's projection right? The reason he hates Pittsburgh so much is because he can see that it's like Cincinnati, but it's like a slightly bigger city with better sports teams. Yeah.

Somehow all of their sports teams are, range from very slightly to substantially better than all of our sports teams. But we get to make the decision so they lose. That's what you get all of our fans from Pennsylvania don't worry you're gonna be in good company of offended real soon push push might have survived the NFL vote but the team is gone goodbye Eagles Bob what's going next let's start easy South Dakota South all right instead of North? Yeah. Yes. No discussion to be had here. Uh, seems like South Dakota is gone.

(*swoosh*) Uh, North Dakota... Don't feel confident. Yeah, I wouldn't- I wouldn't get too comfortable. I feel like much like South Dakota, we have very little to say about it. It's just gone. (*laughs*) Well, that's good, cause we're never gonna get through these if we, uh, debate it too much.

Alright, Wade, back to you. I've been thinking about this one and it's a little tough, but I think it's got to be said. Illinois. Oh. Illinois? Why? Why?

I don't truly hate Illinois as a state, but if we go back, let's not be too petty here, a couple hundred years where Cincinnati was a thriving trading metropolis of the United States. There was a city that emerged that kinda put its thumb on us and squashed us like a bug. And that city was Chicago. Chicago ruined our lives. It's an awful place to have to drive through. I personally don't like visiting it. And it's responsible for the complete demolition of all of Illinois today.

Goodbye, Chicago. Goodbye, Illinois, Cincinnati, we're rising again! He's just cutting down Cincinnati's enemies here. I see what his strategy is. I'm eliminating my rivals! Wade has a list here. I gotta say, driving in Chicago does suck. I think anyone, including Chicagoans, would agree with that. But it is an absolutely lovely city, beautiful place. I don't even know if I've been anywhere else in Illinois. They have a bean.

I'm gonna use a veto just to keep Chicago around cause I fucking love Chicago. Okay, can I veto a veto? Nope. No. I love Chicago. Fields Museum, the Planetarium, the Shedd Aquarium. You think Newport Aquarium is cool? Which again, not even in Ohio. you think Newport aquarium is cool

Which again not even in Ohio you think Newport school shed aquarium a whole other world of aquarium I actually prefer Atlanta's aquarium. I'm being honest. Don't even get me started on, Georgia You're saving Chicago Illinois has been cemented is that is going to last into the 13th. I mean, let's be honest. I kept Chicago. I like Chicago. I don't know much about the rest of Illinois, but I love Chicago.

I'm keeping that. All right. Okay. All right. So Illinois is locked in. Now we got to move on. Bob, what do you propose? Let's go small.

Rhode Island. Rhode Island. Take go small Rhode Island Take that Rhode Island. I forgot we still had them. Yeah, that's the thing right? It's like what what even what's even there? Providence I assume is all of Rhode Island. I don't even know what else is in Rhode Island I think there's one bridge just connecting two other states. There's probably lots of stuff, but no one ever talks about it I don't know. Couldn't tell you. No, we always joke about how small it is, but I've never actually heard about anything that's there.

There was a TV show based in Rhode Island that my mom really liked in the 2000s. It was about a veterinarian who lived in Rhode Island. I think it was called Providence. That's the most I've ever heard about Rhode Island in my life. Get out of here. No offense. Pettiness makes me want to veto just because you vetoed mine, but like honestly, I don't know what I'd be saving. So I won't disagree.

Well, Molly, the 3D artist who worked on Iron Lung, see ya, is also from Rhode Island, I believe. Not my movie. That's all right. You're right. There's got to be some collateral damage, all right? So we're going gonna put this list out before all these moves are made official. So everyone has time to relocate.

Now maybe he'll hire Samantha from Cincinnati. You're okay. All right. Wait, what's next? Alabama's gotta go. One, Roll Tide, kind of done with it. Plus now their coach has gone, they've fallen down a little bit.

But the reason is we need less avenues for people from Florida to get in Alabama's gone. They've got to go through, Georgia. It's harder for Florida man to escape I always thought that was a weird state motto, Alabama Florida's highway to the good parts So Florida's highway to the good parts. So Alabama's got to go. I'm sorry, but I don't have any connection to Alabama enough that I care to veto that. I, I also find roll tide quite annoying. Not going to lie.

I like this because it feels like Wade wants to keep Florida, but segment it from the rest of the United States. No, I'm not. I'm, I don't want to give away my strategy, but yes, a little bit. I don't want to give away mine either, but yes, you're on the right States. No, I'm not. I'm I don't want to give away my strategy, but yes, a little bit. I don't want to give away mine either, but yes, you're on the right track. All right. Cool. All right. Alabama's gone.

All right. Bob, New Mexico. I think we should give it back to old Mexico. I don't think we ever should have had that one. That just seems rude on our part. OK, they might have to fish it out of the ocean, but I suppose it's finders keepers at that point. Wade, any objections? New Mexico. It's beautiful. New Mexico is beautiful. Santa Fe is amazing. We didn't do any shows in New

Mexico, did we? No, no. I don't know that I've ever actually been into New Mexico, and I never will be because it's gone now, so yeah, no, that's fine. All right, it's gone. I've only ever driven through there really, but you know, it is just gorgeous. I mean that whole area of the United States is just, oh man, the Mesa's and everything, the landscapes. Alright Wade, what's next? I'm still kind of fighting over my loss of Illinois. I'm still a little upset about Illinois being here. Let's go with Massachusetts.

I was just in Massachusetts recently. Whenever we were going to conventions, it was actually one of my favorite convention centers was the one in Boston. But Harvard turned me down when I applied for college. I'm petty and I remember navigating Boston, flying into Boston. And I'll never forget the taxi or Uber ride

where the guy just had a middle finger out each window whenever we made the mistake of saying we were running late to Get somewhere and scared the shit out of us and demanded like a big tip before he let us out of his car I don't know if you guys remember that or not or even if Bob you were there But we were going to like some kind of maker studio party or something We were running late and this guy scared the fucking shit out of me. I don't think I was there for that plus I have some friends in Massachusetts

Fuck those guys. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna fire for Massachusetts. That's okay It was one of the original 13 colonies or something, right? It's kind of like out with the old in with the news like get out of here. You had your time Yeah, I sort of thought we were gonna yeah, I'm with you wait I sort of thought we were gonna spice it up. I want if we're cutting back to 13 Why would we keep one that's been here the whole time? They had plenty of time to convince me that they had they deserved a spot. They their chance look what they made gone tea party more like sleep in the sea party got him alright Bob what's next I'm gonna stay small New Hampshire

New Hampshire I've heard it's lovely I've heard it's beautiful it just seems like we don't it's I just seems, it just seems a little, no. I'm using a veto on New Hampshire. Really? On New Hampshire? I got to save New Hampshire. My favorite late night host of all time was Craig Ferguson. And one of the best bits I remember was whenever Jeffrey Peterson, his skeleton was talking about having a second home, a vacation home in New Hampshire.

And I go back and watch that clip and laugh every time I see it. It's one of his funniest bits. Damn. Alright. Historical site. New Hampshire is the Craig Ferguson historical site in my mind. Gotta save New Hampshire. Well, okay, I guess that's locked in there. Two of the 13 spots is now... Just like we said! Why would we keep the old ones New Hampshire's not Massachusetts we can agree on that right it sure isn't those are two different places so vetoed New Hampshire locked in there with Illinois

all right wait what is next Michigan and it's not even I hate Michigan. I'm not like an Ohio State guy or anything. I actually have enjoyed my time in Michigan. Ohio is known as like the heart of it all, right? And I'm an Ohio man. Michigan with its fucking stupid glove and its extra little growth sticking out, it gets to be two places at once. It just thinks it's better than us. You know, these states aren't gonna come after you. You know, you don't need to strategically kill your enemies. Not anymore! They're gone! Alright, okay.

Any objection to Michigan? Yeah, I'm gonna have to use a veto on that one. Come on, man! Listen, we only need one lake state, and I know everyone's gonna be like, oh, 10,000 lakes, oh, Minnesota. Michigan is the one. You know why the lakes are so great? Because they all touch the greatest lake state of all.

Except maybe that one that doesn't. But close enough. But if Michigan was gone, we would be the lake state. We would have all of them. I think it would just be one big lake. I guess, yeah, they would rush into Philly would be, yeah, I guess. I don't think we want that.

Take the way that feet go Bob. Come on, give it to us. It's locked, no, I guess. I don't think we want that. Take away that veto, Bob. Come on, give it to us. It's locked in. Fuck. Also, I was born in Michigan, and almost all of my family's in Michigan. But... So that was Bob's second veto. Uh, now Bob, it's back to you, though.

I'm ready to shed some dead weight. Alright. Let's go for Oklahoma. Oklahoma. Uh, it seems a lot like Northern Texas to me. Uh, no, no offense. It just seems a lot. It seems very similar. I feel like we only need one of those if if we need any of them and Oklahoma is not the one I think we should keep. All right. Any objections? Can I object in the future? Do I have to object right now? You don't have to to veto you could give a reason not to but it's kind of his call okay can I hold my veto I potentially want to veto Oklahoma but it's pending something else

it would have to be now like it's now or never I feel like we could circle back I'm totally unless you have an opposite to it mark I'm fine I'm gonna put a bookmark on Oklahoma but I'll let it go for now. I will let you put Oklahoma to the side, Bob, if you want, and you could pick another one, and then we could set Oklahoma over there. We'll save that debate. All right, well, I've got a real winner here. No way you're gonna oppose this, unless it's another New Hampshire situation. Maine.

Maine. Just nip the tip. Just nip the tip off there. I know a couple people from Maine. It's gotta go. It's gotta go? All right. Maine, gone. Nip the tip. Tip's been nipped. Wait. All right. Let's get the big one out of the way here that I was gonna get rid of. Texas. Damn. Texas has some great places. It's a big state. Love my time in Austin, honestly San Antonio as well. But

like Bob was saying about Oklahoma, do we really need it? Do we need good Texas or do we need empty Texas? That's kind of the question you're posing, I guess. No, I mean, it's like if you delimited, Texas is such, I mean, okay, I'm just the arbitrator here, but I will say Texas is so large so many Resources just from a landmass perspective like it touches completely different biomes. It's enormous Okay, we bleed it then we discard it. Well, that's not an option. I disagree but you did propose I'm not I'm that you did propose it. I'm proposing Texas. Look, let's be let's just let's just put the cards on the table We have Florida We've already got a problem child. Do we need Texas and Oklahoma?

Do we need all three those are not even remotely similar types of things their problem children? They're different kinds of problem children, but they're problem children I'm trying to identify a pattern of what Wade's going for here, but I can't really piece it together So yeah, don't try to get in here. You won't find a way. All right, Bob, that's just, uh, do you veto it? I just feel like I have to hold on to my veto. I've only got the one left. I've really been aggressive with it. I would if I had another one to give, but.

Damn, Texas, into the Gulf of America you go. I've spent a lot of time in Texas recently. And it's like, you know, I don't like some of the things that Texas does I've had some great memories in Texas, honestly, but no one but it's gone. Yes, Bob Well, if we're gonna if we're gonna go at each other like that Minnesota oh man My wife's from Minnesota. My in-laws are from Minnesota. The Twin Cities has some great food. Goodbye, Minnesota.

Alright, gone. Gone out of here. Wait, you didn't realize we're trying to have 13 at the end of it, you know, but alright, fine. One second. No, it's gone. Just, shhh. Alright, it's gone. Alright, Wade. Colorado. Oh. Colorado's a beautiful place, vacation spot. Got the mile high city, snow, lots of marijuana. No real reason to get rid of it, but I'm gonna.

I feel like that was one I was gonna leave and see if it made the cut, because I do like Colorado, but I definitely have no... I'm not fighting my... I'm not throwing my Vito in on it, so... You sure? Are you just trying to get him out of his vetoes? Are you trying to get me to use my vetoes? I have no connection to Colorado. I mean, uh, that'd be a weird strategy Look I'm just trying to build a better country here. Okay, I'm throwing darts at a dartboard and see where they land weird bye, Colorado We're gonna be left with like all the middle states. Just a big empty plane. Bob, I do. As much as I love cheese, I'm gonna go ahead and throw Wisconsin under the bus. Okay, Wisconsin. Any particular reason? I just eliminated my wife's family. I can't also then fight for their rival. Wisconsin's gone, see ya.

My lifetime of experiences with Packers fans alone is enough to disqualify Wisconsin from remaining. Alright, Wisconsin has been sunk into the ever-growing greater lake. So that's cool. Eventually it's gonna be the greatest lakes. It will eventually. That's true. Wade, I want to throw two out there and we want to pick one of the two, but I don't know which one I want to get rid of.

So I kind of want to hear arguments Kansas or Arkansas otherwise known as Arkansas. We only need two that have Kansas in the name or we only need one rather we have two we only need one. We only need two that have Kansas in the name or we only need one rather We have two we only need one we might need done. I Don't have a strong argument for either of them are wait Kansas City Chiefs that's Missouri Kansas City, right? Yeah, it's in neither of those. Yeah, you want a handshake to get rid of both I'll do one if you do you know what? Yeah, let's do that. Any state with Kansas in its name? Gone.

Alright, so we're going Kansas as your pick, Wade. And then I'm guessing going to Bob, Arkansas's. R, Kansas is my pick, yes. Alright, okay. We're gone, gone and gone. And Missouri for me. Gotta get rid of Missouri too. Any objections to Missouri? oh man man the Grim Reaper is speeding up

alright any objections to Missouri? I didn't realize Wade is gonna be so gleeful about this I'm definitely not saving my last veto for Missouri so sorry Missouri Bob what are you getting rid of? I feel like Wade just got to do like three but we'll just keep moving. Kinda, yeah.

This is a tough one. I'm gonna, I have a very close friend who's not gonna like this. I feel like Washington and Oregon are very similar. And I gotta say I prefer Washington. Damn. Sorry, sorry. So I'm gonna throw Oregon out there. Portland, very fun city. Lots of fun stuff. Seattle, sorry. So I'm gonna throw Oregon out there. Portland, very fun city.

Lots of fun stuff. Seattle, more fun in my experience. Sorry. So I'll go throw Oregon out there. Alright, and you guys will be happy to know that was our 15th elimination. We're getting there. Only 22 more to go. Alright, wait. Only, uh, 22 more to go.

Alright, Wade. Let's go West Virginia. Great song. I have family in West Virginia, I've had some good memories there. Love the mountain mama. Mm-hmm. But, sometimes mama's gotta go. Sounds like a winner to me! Alright, cool, Bob, what's next?

Uh, you know what? This might be controversial. I'm curious what Wade's gonna do with this one. Let's go regular Virginia. Bird and Foo are in Virginia. I visited there. They have some great restaurants. They want me to even consider like moving to Virginia.

Eliminate temptation. Goodbye Virginia. Virginia is gone. Make them come where it matters Ohio if Ohio less who's been vetoed so far what states do we have locked in Michigan Illinois and New Hampshire are locked in I still can't fucking believe New Hampshire but whatever me either now that I'm looking at it I regret that veto but it's too late why did you do that like I have nothing against New Hampshire that's

just really confusing it is I don't disagree with you. I think I was high at the time. 12 minutes ago I was fucking wasted and now that I'm sober... I had just dropped acid, I had snorted cocaine, I had dropped all of the drugs that probably have to be censored out of this episode, I had done all of it. But now I'm clean and I'm regretting New Hampshire a bit. Well, the two people that watch this from New Hampshire are probably very happy. I think. All right. Is it my turn? No. Wait, no, no. I just did regular Virginia.

Is that is that out of here? Oh, that's true. Wait. Yeah. Wait said yes. OK. Let's go Connecticut. Connecticut. All right. Loved their basketball team growing up. I had a lot of Huskies jerseys. I used to root for like a Mecca Okafor and stuff whenever he played at Connecticut. I have one gripe with Connecticut and I think it's severe enough that I'm comfortable letting them go. Spell your name correctly.

How about that? Connecticut. Get out of here with that crap. So it's spelled even I, I might've spelled it wrong. Yeah. Connecticut. Connecticut. There is a second C. Excuse me? No, I didn't think so. Damn, all right, it's gone. Connecticut is gone.

Not connecting anything anymore. All right, I wanna throw a twofer out just to sort of save time. And I feel like there's a lot we can agree on here. Both of the Carolinas. Both Carolinas? Wow. Yes, I lived in North Carolina for six years. I really hadn't mentioned them because I thought you would veto North

Carolina. I thought that was one you'd save your veto to save. I did not enjoy living in North Carolina. Law school aside, not my favorite place. Even like the Outer Banks and Wilmington and whatever. Nice beaches. I'm pretty sure there's a racket, allegedly, in one of the Carolinas, where the police and judges are working together to give people from out of that state speeding tickets, and then force them to come back in person to protest it, otherwise they forfeit and have to pay the fine. I've heard a bunch of weird stories of people driving through getting a speeding ticket for going, you know, like 10, 12 over, which people do go and that is speeding, to be clear, that is breaking the law. But it's odd that how it's structured away

where you almost have to get an attorney in that state to fight for you on your behalf in court to dispute a speeding ticket. It's a whole weird thing. And so I say goodbye corruption, hello freedom. We're doing a twofer here? Yeah. So which one? Saving some time. Saving some time. Who's doing, I'm actually keeping track of who is eliminating what here. So I would like to throw North Carolina out officially. So I guess I'll take South Carolina and you know, Bob helped me

balance. I'll help him balance. Okay. okay that's fair and then it's back to Bob would really fun if you vetoed South Carolina after I agreed with them yes it would yes it would all right let's keep moving shall we Georgia gotta throw a veto damn I had a suspicion yeah you were. I gotta keep Georgia any particular reason why? It's been a lot of time a lot of good memories. I like peaches Savannah, Georgia is really nice and pretty it's like the one East Coast Beach. I kind of like I actually wanted to keep Georgia I just assumed you would veto it so that doesn't really worked out. I would yeah It's what's on my list of places to keep. You did mention the aquarium.

The aquarium's great. Coca-Cola, I think their main headquarters is in Georgia. Too many good things there. I can't lose. Savannah is really awesome. We did our honeymoon in Savannah. It's great. So I'm down to one veto. We're both down to one veto now, right? Down to one veto piece, yep. Alright, Wade. Um, we got rid of one of the Dakotas, right? We got rid of...

South. Okay, so let's go, Idaho Sorry Idaho, I don't even know anything about Idaho other than potatoes and Boise I think yep. Oh and Des Moines is that Idaho or is that Iowa? That's Idaho The only thing I think is it's Iowa right? We'll never know I already forgot cuz it's already gone All right, it's gone Idaho. I do Idaho. I don't know All right, Bob. All right, this is gonna be a big cut. Wyoming.

Wyoming. Why was it ever a state? Goodbye. Couldn't tell ya even what's there. It's so mean. What's the capital of Wyoming? Russia probably, get rid of it. Whoa, whoa, you mark?

I think Moscow is what you're looking for. That episode still lives in my head, where it was like, Pick a state in America. Russia. Look, man, this isn't about me it's a big time call that for those that are confused I don't remember what that episode was I just remember that bit and it sticks in my head look man don't don't mock me like this don't mock me like this good times good times good Okay, wait. Let's go Arizona. Out of here. Out of here. Too hot.

They have some Tuxans and some Phoenixes. Grand canyons there but like, we can dig a ditch. They'll be cool canyons after all these states are gone. Are we smooshing everything together or is it lots of water in between here? Let's see how it shakes out what looks prettier?

Maybe it'll look pretty with all those other states gone and not smooth together. Yeah, we're going to become like a big island nation. It'd be kind of crazy. All right, Bob. All right. I don't know how people are going to feel about this one, but I'm going to check out Nevada.

I know Vegas is fun. Had a lot of fun times in Vegas. Not fun enough that I feel like I need that in my new country that we're constructing here. Been there twice. It's a cool city. I don't have that strong of a connection to it. I gotta let it go.

Gone. Alright, it's gone. Bye bye. How many more eliminations do we have? Still need a good dozen or more, don't we? Yeah, it's a good bit left, let's see. Alright, let's get that other Dakota out of here, whichever one it was. Man, it lasted a long time, that other Dakota.

Whoa, we were just keeping that one around because we knew how we felt about it. Get outta here! We let it hang around longer. I feel like I have another easy one. Uh, beautiful state. Tons of great stuff. Don't need Utah. That's fair, goodbye Utah.

Wait, George Washington sailed across a river here famously, but it's one of the OGs and I don't really care, and nor do I know anything about it. Goodbye Delaware. Delaware, man, all the companies incorporated in Delaware are gonna be really mad. Hey, come to Ohio. Wait, does getting rid of Delaware piss off corporations? Yeah, because they have like next to zero corporate tax rate.

No, yeah, I just hadn't thought about that. Yeah, get them out of here. Love that. Love that for us. Wade, you're spending a lot of time looking to your left. I'm not gonna lie. I made a list of places I want to keep it doesn't seem like a list you need to read when you're nominating places You don't want to keep but I'm not gonna I'm not gonna protest this too much. Okay. All right I have another controversial one. Wait, did we do this one Maryland? We've got the Maryland. No I really like I lived in the DC area for a summer. I really like the area I feel like I could do without the Maryland side though.

Sorry guys, sorry. All right, damn. Now get rid of it. All right, it's gone. I'm not really questioning anything anymore, who knows? I hate that this one lasted longer than Minnesota. Minnesota deserved better than what it got. It really did.

Iowa, I love corn, but like what else you got for me? We're downsizing the population anyway. We don't need that much corn. Ohio grows corn, so. And the only thing I know about Iowa is the Iowa caucus. Isn't that a thing I feel like I could live without in my rest of my life? I do have family in Iowa, and my father's family originally was from Iowa, but I only have the one veto left and I just don't.

It is mostly corn and pork. It's good corn and good pork that Des Moines Place is there. And Music Man is from Iowa, but no, sorry. Man, this is getting heartbreaking now. All right, Bob, we're really getting down to the nitty gritty here. Apparently I have something against new places, but I feel like New Jersey needs to go. All right

Not on my list. Goodbye. All right. Goodbye. All right. Okay, that's an easy going Cool. All right. Wait, Louisiana, New Orleans beautiful fun party town LSU Joe burrow went to school down there. They one of the the greatest teams of all time. Historical, they've been through a lot. Beautiful state. They got their crawdads and whatnot, but they can crack my top 13, so it's gotta go. Oh, Bozeman is in Montana. Yeah, Louisiana can go.

Okay, all right, Louisiana gone. Wait, did we do Montana? Did I fall asleep for Montana? Montana's gone, right? Didn't we do that? Montana's still in. Still here. I nominate Montana.

Ah. What? You are connected to the most random places. I'm not connected to Montana. I just know Montana is a vast, beautiful, scenic state. We've already eliminated many vast, beautiful states. Name one. Colorado. It's not a state anymore. False. We got rid of it.

Its logic is undeniable. Wade is inevitable. I will concede Montana. I've got too many that are more important than Montana, but I did want to keep Montana. It was on my list. Alright, here's the thing. It also got rid of the Super Volcano at the same time. We dug that out, chucked it in like a bomb into the Pacific Ocean. Problem solved, no more Super Volcano risk. So that's good. That is good, that is good. That'll help me sleep at night.

Pennsylvania's gone. Michigan's locked in, we gotta keep Michigan. But I'm feeling a little cramped here in Ohio and I think the logical choice is to get rid of Indiana. Then at least there's some space between us and Illinois. I gotta keep Illinois, just get rid of the buffer. Give me some space. It's Indiana, the buffer state, as we all know it to be.

Any objections? Uh, nope. All right, it's gone. I was just thinking about one. Where did that go in my brain? Hang on a second. That's the Tennessee! That's the one.

Tennessee. Tennessee's going away. Lot of culture of Tennessee. There is a lot of culture in Tennessee. Country music basically originates from there. Well, it's not originate, but. Beautiful place. Went there for a senior spring break goodbye man damn all right well I know I know I think I know how

I'm gonna get Wade's last veto I'm excited about this one and wait it's your turn Mississippi and my SSI SSI P. You don't have to learn that shit anymore do we? More like M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I bye bye bye. Sorry Mississippi your river is really big. Just got bigger. I think Wade was on to something. We need more breathing room. Kentucky. Damn Kentucky. Well part of Kentucky is basically Ohio so like I would be maybe down if there's a movement to carve off the cool part that's done you know and sort of the tri-state area and keep that annexed out into Ohio but we're not doing that. Mark made it pretty clear we're not doing stuff like that so the rest of all of Kentucky? Nah.

There's a lot of bad in Kentucky but but man, the Cumberland Lake and river Cumberland is just so awesome. It's okay. We have Michigan got all the lakes you need up in Michigan. When I vacation, I don't want to go north to Foxville. I want to go south where it's warm and more paradise. I see, you know? Yeah.

Nowhere in Kentucky is Foxville. That's for sure. No, most of it is. That's why I'm debating. It's on my list of things to keep, but do I want to use a veto for it? Your last veto? Nope, goodbye Kentucky. Okay.

And with that, we're at 13 states. Oh god. Would you like to hear the new United States? Wait, how many did you think were left? I thought there were at least three. I've not been redoing my list as we delimited to, so I was like, this gotta be some more. We were so worried about all the big beautiful states we got rid of. Nobody touched my boy Alaska. No I wanted to keep Alaska. Alaska and Hawaii? No no bigger or more

beautiful state than Alaska. Oh you gotta keep Alaska. Alaska, Hawaii, Ohio, Florida and Georgia were like my top five protects. All right, here's the big beautiful list. We kept California. Yeah, I like California. California was one of the ones I was considering my last veto for. It's okay. It's great.

Plus all the rest of us can mooch off California because their economy's so good. Yeah, the fourth largest economy in the world. Alaska is in the United States California Florida Georgia, Hawaii So far not so bad Illinois's in there

Michigan Nebraska wait Nebraska survive Bob got rid of the Cornhuskers. There's a different Cornhuskers. There's many Cornhuskers Nebraska made it I made a Nebraska joke in the previous episode that we recorded. Oh, God, that's why I thought I thought they were already gone. I would have fought to get rid of fucking Nebraska soon. I was like, now we got rid of them. Nebraska's there. New Hampshire's there. New York's there. Ohio's there. Oklahoma is there. Vermont and Washington. Oklahoma is there. Vermont and Washington. Vermont, Nebraska and Oklahoma are wild. You fought for Oklahoma, you psychopath. That's there because of you. I said I would revisit it. You got rid of Texas and kept Oklahoma because that was your choice.

I don't regret that, but we could have gotten rid of Oklahoma too. Also, New Hampshire. I'm never gonna get over to Hampshire. Why the shit did you do that? I won late-night joke. It's a historical site. All right All right. So here's how I'm gonna award the points for this round I'm gonna award the points for most area cut most GDP lost the points for most area cut most GDP lost which man Wade you were fucking crushing these categories hello boy and then I can't remember what was gonna be so left population or something oh yeah that was I think that was actually yeah most people expunged well I'm fucked no no it wasn't it wasn't no it wasn't all gonna be negative no it was it was there was gonna be I had some bad some good see I

forget how I set these things up from the beginning well thank God you wrote it down right down no it was gonna be it was gonna be most area cut least people cut and then it was gonna be like most money lost or it was gonna be it was gonna be most area cut least people cut and then it was gonna be like Most money lost or it was gonna be We're trying to improve we want people and money probably right we want people and money But not the land can go I think that's what I don't know Looking at what was lost versus what was kept before you go through points? Is there anything we would exchange if we could go back? Oh, we were gonna wait didn't we set one aside?

We said Oklahoma aside and we never got back to it. Right? Okay. We never got back to it. Counting is hard, man That's why I was so sure you were gonna use your veto on Kentucky I should have in hindsight Kentucky and Tennessee had rather have the Nebraska and Vermont. Hey, Vermont's beautiful Vermont is beautiful. Vermont is beautiful. Probably a better state than Kentucky, but like, okay, I gotta do some calculations here. Nebraska. We gotta get something back for Nebraska, right?

I would, I would trade Nebraska, Vermont or, and New Hampshire, but I'm not sure what I would trade them for. I would want Colorado back. Colorado and Kentucky or, or Tennessee. I want Kentucky or Tennessee. One of those. I would give you Colorado back over one of those. I like Colorado more than those. I'm not sure which one I would pick

between Kentucky and Tennessee. Kentucky's all personal reasons for me, but if it's gone, you know, Tennessee's got some good stuff. It was a lot of murder. I didn't see any kind of actual thought or plan with yours, Wade. That was intentional. I didn't see any kind of actual thought or plan with yours, Wade. That was intentional. I didn't want you to know.

Wade was all over the map here. Every time I wanted to think of a state, I did the Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, doodoo, doodoo. I was like, ah, there's one. If you're, I wasn't looking to my left to cheat. I went through the song every time. The left is literally just a list of places I was like, keep New York, California, Alaska, Hawaii, Georgia, New Hampshire, Illinois, Michigan, Washington, Florida, Ohio, Nebraska, and Vermont, I think. And after all of this, still somehow, for some reason, not Puerto Rico?

I didn't count territories. I did have kind of a strategy, I'm gonna be honest. I did not. I trusted my heart and my heart led us to two mistakes. I mean, honestly, given that it was you and me, we could have done worse. We could have done a lot worse. All right, almost there.

Mark's over here trying to hack into the matrix. I gotta calculate the population GDP in area of fucking 50 states. I can't wait to have to calculate our color shirts with our backgrounds too later. Hahahaha Hahahaha Alright, this is actually a fascinating, uh, fascinating distribution of where this landed. This is more work than I would have ever put in.

I would have just lied to you guys. Would you like to know where these numbers land? Because it is fascinating. Alright. So Wade, in your rambunctious tirade, you eliminated from these United States 106 million people gone into the ocean, sunk, forever washed into the ocean, uh, sunk forever, uh, washed into the abyss. Bob, you- you killed 81 million people.

Sunk them into the abyss. It's not as much less as I would have thought. I think you made good efficient cuts without costing us too many lives. I'm gonna give you a point for that. Alright, you're the lifesaver, okay? Ah, damn it. In terms of GDP, one state alone caused this to swing. Uh, uh.

Uh. Uh. Uh. Total GDP cut by weight was $7.08 trillion cut. Total GDP cut by weight was $7.08 trillion cut. Uh, GDP cut with Bob of five point five seven trillion dollars So in these if in terms of efficiency of cuts Bob you came out on top because all right Texas for some reason so you also said money saver. I'm making this a better country mark

I'm not focused on the short-term money whatever. This is a long-term investment. You got that right, because somehow Wade, in terms of total area cut, you cut 1.136 million square miles, whereas Bob cut 1.14 million square miles. Oh, really? Even with Texas in there. Wade, somehow you made cuts to those small states, offset the Texas cut. He picked Rhode Island. I did get like Montana, Minnesota, Wisconsin. I got some of those pretty big like plain states, middle of the country states. Utah's pretty big. New Mexico's pretty big. so that puts weight as the

space saver so you made the most efficient cuts in terms of oh wait I wanted less oh no I thought I was winning that well you want three so far yeah yeah no no you cut you cut more land Bob so okay well so for the remainder the remaining land that is left over, the population is 152 million people, so still good. You didn't cut, neither of you cut more than that amount. GDP is 13.6, well, you don't need to, you don't have to. I think seven states is the right number. Maybe a sequel, no.

50 minutes of cutting seven, six states. That's good math. Maybe a sequel. No. 50 minutes of cutting seven six states. That's good math. All right. Thir- 13.69 trillion dollars and 1.471 million square miles. Now, I'm going to give another point to who made the best saves. Who used their veto wisest and contributed more money. Population GDP, I'm counting as one Category to the new United States Wade you saved Georgia and New Hampshire Bob you saved Michigan and Illinois

That's a pretty if I don't know which way this is gonna swing. I feel like Michigan. Oh, I don't know New Hampshire I don't know. That's actually interesting. I'm not sure I think I might have the edge I don't know. That's actually interesting. I'm not sure I think I might have the edge maybe let me look okay, so Michigan Georgia was probably pretty good Michigan 10 million 77 thousand three hundred thirty one population as of last Illinois is 12 7 1 0 1 5 8 population for that was for years Bob's, Oh, Chicago is gonna be pretty big though. Ooh, but Georgia has 11,180,878 and then New Hampshire. Five people.

That's 1,395. So by population, that also goes to Bob. Yeah, that's fair. But let's look at the other numbers. GDP, that's 1.1 trillion. This is a 1 trillion and 651 million one million for over there should have saved Tennessee Georgia is eight hundred eight billion New Hampshire is 93 billion. Oh, no, I think I think

Bob might have made the best saves and I think in terms of land as well that point goes to Bob And I think in terms of land as well that point goes to Bob Bob makes Bob used his vetoes wisely. I did it for Craig Ferguson. I'd do it again I would have also saved Tennessee though I think if you do use your last veto weight on that last chance of could have gotten you that one, but I think Bob Just somehow got to the The bonus point for that one. All right, and so with that, we come to a close. Congratulations, guys. I'm sure this didn't make anybody mad

and no one's going to come after you. There might be a few states that come to the subreddit and be like, why wasn't I cut? Why was I last in here? Bob, I have a question. If I'd used my last veto earlier, would you have made Ohio one? I thought about doing that as a bit because then I would be like well we could just go to Michigan. I know I

literally saved my veto because I was like Bob throws Ohio after saving Michigan I would never be able to live with myself I've got to save this veto. That was one of my choices I was kind of because I was assuming you would save Kentucky I was a little surprised you didn't save Tennessee but I knew it was like your last veto so I was like alright surprised you didn't save Tennessee, but I knew it was like your last veto, so I was like, all right, but- Ohio had to be saved at all costs. Everything else was able to go on the chopping block

to save Ohio. That's fair. All right, and with the points stand as thus, Bob, you got a point for sketchy pumps, tarantula mating season, you got the lifesaver, most population, most money saved, and you made the best use of your vetoes Wait your relationship is in shambles

No one could ever say marks bias these are fairly distributed points Bob your life's great Wade your life sucks Oh, I wrote down LinkedIn balls though, but that's part of the same point All right, and then you saved the most land. It's like very tied What do you want to add to the wheel mark? I do we already have something like blood thirsty or ruthless I think we do don't we most self-sabotage? No, I got it. Most time looked off-screen. Most time looking away from camera. I do that a lot. That definitely favors me, I think.

Well, I just set my stuff up so I don't have to look. Like, I'm looking off-camera right now. This is my Google area. But, uh, shall I spin some wheels? Mm-hmm. Oh, great wheel. How many bonus points shall there be? Oh great wheel, how many bonus points shall there be? Well, that's not very fun is it? Well, that's the wheel. I'm gonna pick viewers again. It's definitely gonna be viewers.

Nah, it's going bald. It's going listeners. Uh oh. Best million dollar idea. Isn't that technically Bob because he did technically make the most money? I had the idea for the the water table pump. That clearly is a million dollar idea because now people are making millions of dollars off of it I assume. I think based on the game we played and you being better at the money part and that idea,

I don't have an argument for this. Yeah, he did save the most money. So even this point I believe goes to Bob. I was gonna call it but this just it just is what it is I'm gonna take my L. Alright fair enough so a six to three victory for Bob he secures it and he is now king of the new 13 United States. The new United States we're gonna coin that it's gonna catch on so saith bob first of his name uh and here's his speech uh feels good to win feels better to be king of this new great nation i was a little worried that people were gonna come after me for my choices but it's comforting

to know that they're all floating in the bottom of the ocean i guess so what are they gonna say about it i think i made the right choice and I don't think anyone who's left is gonna disagree Congratulations to us all Thank you, thank you very much My leaves, Wade? Ohio, Florida, Washington, New Hampshire, Georgia, Hawaii, Alaska, California, Kentucky, New York, Montana, Tennessee, Minnesota, that's what should have been. But I lost. My opponent outplayed me, outperformed me, outthought me, outmaneuvered me. So I salute to the flag of the new, new United States.

You know, we did our best. We acts as we went without thinking. It turned out alright. Couple, couple bruises I don't like, couple of limbs missing I'd like to have back, couple of things attached I could live without. Overall, it's alright. Charged in like a maniac with a chainsaw and we kinda got what we deserved. Well, this podcast is what all of you listeners

and viewers deserve for sure. Be sure to follow it to get more of what you deserve on a regular basis or at least be alerted of it or at least make us look really good in the eyes of the people that care about those things. Alright, follow these guys. Bob and Wade, MyScrim, LordMain777, my name is Mark Blar, we'll be back with more Distractable very soon. Have a good day, don't be offended, but if you are, go to the subreddit. Subreddit.com slash r slash Distractable. D-I-S-T-R-E-S-T-I-B-L-E. Podcast out. podcast.