Distractible - Weird

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Wade listing off some of Earth's most bizarre animals leads Bob and Mark to get weird in their own ways. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This week, the gents throw open the Pandora's Box of Mother Nature. Wade hosts and derides Mark's thumbnails, but admires the tarty grades. Bob likes a good ass-kissing, but brings up body-snatching bugs that drive dead mantises.

Mark speaks of the unsavory in his online activities, but refutes the power of Blitzen and his bros. From translucent head to shaved bears, yes, it's time for Weird. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show hey everybody welcome back to another episode of distractible i'm today's host wade why because i won i am very very rage filled or something you're the angriest man i am and if you ever cut me off again i'll break all your fingers and feed them to my dogs i'm just kidding hi mark and bob my other hosts how are you two doing friends hello wife good is this where i talk now i don't want to interrupt you yeah by all means oh okay good yeah very good yes thank you yeah i'm good too i'm doing real good that's great me too i'm tired though uh moving as it turns out is not fun but we're

getting there if you guys have ever been here before there's a show where one of the three of us hosts the other two compete for points whoever has the most at the end wins they host the next episode we talk about whatever we want that's pretty much the gist of it that's what he meant when he said he was the winner of last episode i assume you guys have been watching do you think there's anybody that's been watching all this time and still doesn't understand how the game works? Like they're just confused every single week. They've got like the board in the background. They've got like drawings.

How does it work? First Mark was hosting this one and then Wade was hosting this one and then Bob never hosts any of them. What's going on? Look, new people could listen and watch, okay? They might have never seen an episode before. What if this is your first episode of Distractible? I bet there's someone out there that's so confused. They're just confused as hell.

I want that to be the case. I want someone to try to figure out how our brains work in assigning points. They've got like a Mark Wall, a Bob Wall, and a Wade Wall. And it's like, how do they assign points? Well, Wade seems to like it whenever the guys do this, but he takes waypoint. Oh, no, those people, those people get it. But too much. They're thinking too deeply.

I'm talking about the people that listen. You're talking about like on the simplest of terms. They don't understand why a different person hosts each one. Zero neuron activation occurring during the episode. They just left and go crash their car and then post on Reddit. And they don't think further. What if one of them is really rich and they buy a new car for every episode of Distractible?

Oh, I'm sure they're out there. I would like to let that listener know that I do have a PayPal and you can support the show slash me. Look at this guy, still using PayPal. Can't believe it. I know, it was in 2009 don't worry i'll call you on skype add me on myspace so far i've got tom and then i'll send

you a message on the samsung sms app on my android phone wow the bot smarter child on instant messenger i think it was the name the what yeah wait aol Messenger, there was like a bot you could talk to, like an AI back in the day. It was called like Smarter Child or something like that. AimBots. Well, that's a different thing. Did you ever talk to, did you ever talk to, it's like pre-AI, Mark. Did you ever talk to bots on Instant

Messenger? Dude, I barely used Instant Messenger. You could talk to AI that you could like flirt with and it'd be like, I don't know how to respond to this could like flirt with and be like i don't know how to respond to this you're like yeah you don't yeah just like real life no i have no idea what you're talking about i saw a new funny ai thing i think we should talk about ai a lot we've been doing that lately and i saw a thing this week that made me chuckle uh a lawyer apparently used ai to draft like a motion or a brief for court, basically draft

a document they submitted to court. I get that. I don't actually think that's a terrible idea. But apparently the AI, I think it was chat GPT, but it's some text generative AI. Apparently it just made up court cases. made up court cases and literally the ai was like oh well in johnson versus wyoming um the court found that you can uh murder your niece if she steals your game boy and so that's a great apparently it literally made up cases and was also like and the i don't know if the person asked or someone else did this as like a test but some other lawyer did that and then when pressed the lawyer was like wait is that

a real case i don't know that case yeah i was like oh yeah yeah yeah uh you can find this case in many reputable legal journals and also it's published by the court um you could totally find it it's totally out there don't worry about it if you think lawyers are smart people let me just tell you i could have been a lawyer so there's a warning for you right there but also lawyers don't understand how ai works and didn't think to check and make sure that the cases their ai cited were real before they submitted it to a real court i just imagine the other sides, frantically while this is being presented, they're, like, searching.

They're like, Johnson v. Wyoming? Isn't your niece okay? I mean, even the judge is probably going to be like, I never heard of them, but it must be law. Clang. Oh, my God. That would be the best. The lower court, the judge is like,

wow, what an interesting precedent. Well, continue. It gets all the way to an appeal, and the appeals court judge is like, what the fuck is happening? What are you guys doing? What are you guys doing over there? You saw this. What is happening? Yeah.

Well, I mean, that's the thing that people are starting to realize with AI where it currently is. It's very convincing. It's extremely convincing. In the same way that that good friend of yours that's excellent at bullshitting is very convincing. Um, but it goes about that far. Sometimes it's going to be right. And like, it's very confident in saying things. Um, but as people are vastly replacing, I went to God, I have this stock photo site that I subscribed to. And it's just like, it's indicative of the landscape right now of how tech companies are just in the same way that crypto bros were just all about crypto and all the blockchain and everything about that

every single company is trying to inject ai into every shareholder meeting every every board meeting every presentation talking about and i went to the stock photo site it was like try our new ai powered search feature and i'm like i searched. And I'm like, I searched for something. I'm like, wow, it searched the same way it did before. Try our new image generation. We're putting our entire business model out of business. Try and make up your own stock photos. And I was looking at it. I was just like, man, this is just as bad as all the other ones.

You know, I heard YouTube's going to be rolling out an AI powered video player window. Actually. Wow. It'll skip right to the part of the video that it knows you want to see. Wow. Using the power of AI. According to Nicholson V YouTube, they're allowed to. Wow. The landmark case.

Everyone, everyone knows Nicholson V YouTube. We don't need to repeat it here. We never need to repeat the actual like. Just trust us. It's real. This is a don't need to repeat it here. We never need to repeat the actual, like... Just trust us. It's real. This is a factual, fact-based podcast at all times. No, Mark, I love your analogy.

AI is as correct and also as confident as that kid in high school who thinks that they know everything and absolutely just talks out their ass every time a teacher confronts them. Especially the one that knows a lot about sex and how to do the sex you got to go up there and get that cherry man oh god you made me remember that oh god can't reach up there and pop that little cherry put the juice out oh you don't want to pop it you want to pluck it and save it for later oh that's right you know pluck it put it in a safe place put it on top of your frozen beverage later i hate this whole yeah anyway don't rely on ai to know anything it will lie to you there's another screenshot of someone who was having a conversation with i think it was like uh the bing chat bot and it said some information

and the person said like i don't think anything you said is true and also i can't verify anything and the the the bing bot went back was like look just because you don't know, like, it's true isn't my fault. Also, I don't like your attitude. I'm ending this conversation. Literally, the Bing bot is coming up. What the hell? So it is exactly like that kid. As soon as you challenge it, they're like, you don't know.

I know. Shut up. I'm leaving click so bots can't quite replicate normal humans but they can replicate the lower level douchebags oh they're replicating normal humans all right i mean that's a pretty human experience i would i would believe that they've gotten to not off state no bro trust me dude my dad works at nintendo when i had like my one day of sex ed class at elementary school there was one kid you know how like we were sitting there uncomfortable we're all like this is awkward please let it in we had that one kid that like knew more than the rest of us

but also had all of the questions and so he just kept raising his hand and like keeping it going and we're like, oh, God. And I can't remember any of the questions now. It's been so many years. But I do remember just the super discomfort. Like, in all honesty, it's probably a good thing he had questions and had knowledge. But I remember at the time just being like, I want nothing more than this to have ended like an hour ago. Please let it stop.

And he was just like going into detail about like female anatomy or something. It's like, I don't think I'm supposed to know this stuff, even though that's what's being taught today i think that was just you man i was perfectly comfortable asking those questions you don't need to call me out like this well you gotta be an asshole just because you don't know about the the cherry that's buried way up in there doesn't mean that the rest of the class doesn't need to know well to be fair growing up i always thought it was grapes so i was glad to learn it was cherries that kid every every 30 seconds uh yeah do i do i reach like my whole hand to get the cherry or is it like because i feel like grabbing a cherry with just two fingers or like trying to

scoop it with one seems impractical but my whole hand seems like really big so i'm just curious about how exactly I grab the chair I get why you don't use the ring finger, but where do you put the thumb? These are the important questions aren't you glad that he asked so that now you know the answer the thumbs for the external pee hole I thought existed all those years ago the thumbs for the pee hole How is the thumb for the pee hole? Maybe you should have paid attention in class Mark Answer the question I'm asking Well it's more of like a whoop Maybe you should have paid attention in class, Mark. Answer the question I'm asking.

Well, it's more of like a whoop. You know? No, I don't. Good. No more questions. Well, listen, you were just complaining about the kid in class making you uncomfortable. And now here you are making us uncomfortable. And now it's been me the whole time. I think you are projecting.

I think that was you. I don't think you know the first thing about sex. Proof that you know right now. Uh, sweetheart, we have another demonstration. I was going to save this for my four o'clock, but I guess we could do a demonstration now. You have meetings by the hour. That's very boring. Well, interesting topic, Bob.

Mark, do you have anything interesting? I contributed to that one. Therefore, I take ownership of it. All me, baby. All right, Mark, good topic. Bob, do you have anything interesting to contributed to that one therefore i take ownership of it all me baby all right mark good topic bob do you have anything interesting to talk about uh no i'm boring i just keep a spear propped up in the corner behind me to generate false falsely intriguing conversations but honestly the spear is more interesting than i am i get paranoid about that thing falling over and chopping my head off as I'm walking in the room. Well, doesn't it have like a sheath on it or something?

It does, but also the sheath says do not grab this sheath ever because it's so sharp it might cut through. And I'm like, oh, that seems like a very ineffective sheath. You might as well just have a wax paper envelope that you put over the blade and it's like, alright, it's safe now.

It's like a fast food paper bag you put on the over the top of it if I can't see that it's sharp it can't cut me sharpness is based on movement well actually that's impressively you're not entirely wrong

somehow on that and I can't even explain why but I'm with you well that was undetermined in swanson v pensacola the 1987 case that swept the nation swanson v the city of pensacola florida yeah i love how people that are just joining the podcast today they're gonna get lawyer jokes law jokes immature sex jokes and that's it that's a pretty good demonstration of our podcast honestly well we got other stuff to talk about today and it's about to get weird in here honestly it was would have made more sense if it hadn't already gotten weird but

probably equally maybe a little bit more weird i guess it depends what y'all can think up but i was i was watching uh tv and i saw this weird thing and it crossed my mind earth has a bunch of weird stuff in it specifically like animals but you guys if you have anything else you can think of there's some weird looking animals and it just makes you wonder how in the world they were developed so today's topic is basically weird shit oh god i thought you were gonna say is evolution real how did this happen we're gonna debate both sides of the argument here well according to christianity versus uh go on yes continue it's more so just about weird stuff.

I was looking into some of the weird animals that exist. For example, have you guys ever heard of, I hope I say this right, a macropenomicrostoma? No, Wade, I haven't heard of that. You know, I might have heard of that, but I'm having trouble placing it. Do you think there's someone out there? I don't know. I'm so audience forward, but someone out there like, Whoa! The March of Pensacola Mooma! Alright! Yeah, I was waiting for this day!

No matter what comes up, isn't there always one person who hears it and is like, They're talking about my thing! Because everyone, everything has, like, someone who's into it. Look at this dude. It's a fish, but it's got like a clear dome on top of its head. And you can see like, I don't know, it's weird fish brain balls or whatever the hell's going on in here. It looks like a, I gotta say, it looks like an artist's rendition of what a fish might look like. Is this a picture of a fish? Yeah, that is a picture of a fish.

It's on the Wikipedia. You know Wikipedia is always accurate. No, I've seen this picture and this fish before. I think I've tried to make a thumbnail out of it and it didn't quite work. Yeah, it's... What do you mean, what? Why is that funny? No, nothing. Go on.

What's wrong? You silly bitch making thumbnails. FNAF 7. This is what I looked like by the time I was done. What are you trying to imply? What are you implying? YouTube thumbnails, man. What are you trying to imply? What are you implying? YouTube thumbnails, man. What is wrong with my thumbnails?

What the hell? What the hell? What did I walk into today? I don't know. I take great pride in my thumbnails and the quality that they exude. And just because this was probably for a Subnautica series. Why are you bringing five nights of... Listen, you piece of shit.

I'm here to confront you about what the hell you're trying to imply. You better explain yourself right quick or else we're going to have a problem. I don't know why you took it so personally. I just said thumbnails in general my dude. No, that is not what you said. You said some FNAF thing as if the only thing I do is

FNAF. Well, that's not true. Well, that's what I think of. When you think of my thumbnails of my vast array of high quality thumbnails that i've made over the years you've never really done the circles arrows have you like even in a meme have you ever done a thumbnail with those oh god yeah i've done that i've done all varieties of it but usually in a mocking fashion that's what i mean like in a mocking fashion but there are a lot of them that are like dead serious the circles the question marks and all that stuff that's what i think of when i

think of like a youtube thumbnail is that kind of stuff but this fish i did not think of a youtube thumbnail for my thumbnails go so beyond beyond what it's so meta and beyond meta it's gonna take a note if i ever want to touch a nerve mark's thumb my thumbnails are incredible, and I am very good at making them. And I can meme with the best of them. I can reach deep into the analyses of human psychology and the nature of the universe with them, and I can make the simplest thing pop like you wouldn't even believe. I've seen how you make thumbnails before, and you were so good and so quick with it. Yeah, there we go.

That's what I want to hear. You've had the same quality of thumbnail for a long time. You've had a really high quality thumbnail. But with all the AI stuff recently, I've seen people blend like, have you seen Mark's thumbnail? This is clearly AI and it's something from like 2018 or something.

And it's like... Oh, I saw that post. It's like all the work and crap that I put into thumbnails. And then like you take one and it's just like, oh, it's a shamble, it's a shamble like all the work and crap that I put in the thumbnails and then like you take one is And I'm just like but Sometimes I don't look how Exaggerated this is it's clearly AI. Meanwhile you using like the weird tool to zoom in and like move the teeth

Yeah, they're like hey I must have done this! Humans can't do this kind of editing! I'm not saying that I have never done that, because there's definitely been times when I, like, mid-journey has popped out an image and I've just been like, ooh, that's interesting to use. But I always modify it. It is an extremely rare scenario that I would ever just take something that I found and pop it up without ever having any kind of further to it. But I get that AI imagery is a hot button topic at this point anyway. But also I use a lot of stock photos and I feel like that's the more egregious thing is that I just use the most basic bitch business suit ass with a tie and everything, stock photos for my site. I love using a good old fashioned stock photo. I've edited out some, some iPhoto watermarks before.

I've trimmed out some green time things. The admissions of Markiplier. Maybe I should change the topic for the day. I've done some unsavory things before with my thumbnails and that I'll readily admit, but I will not be my thumbnails, and that I'll readily admit. But I will not be called out for shit that I haven't done. I won't be called out for it. I'll admit my crimes.

I'll admit them to the court. How dare you? So you're saying if you're ever arrested in connection to a crime, the cop just has to sit you down in a room and be like, I hear that you let other people make the thumbnails on your youtube videos and you'll just launch off you'd be like i robbed the bank and i killed the guard on the way out it wasn't my cohorts it was me but i have never i will not be judged on my thumbnails we found it we found the button markiplier's weakness everybody i was expecting to get that out of the weird but man i'm glad we've gone from the weird to the sinister can i

maybe i'm desensitized by everything can i just say that aside from having a trans partially translucent head or whatever this fish doesn't seem that weird to me like there's a lot of there are a lot of sea creatures that exist that are translucent where you can see their inner parts and like like that's the whole nature of like jellyfish is you could gotta see through them and you can see they don't have a lot of complicated organs in there the way that this guy seems to whatever is going on yeah whatever the brain eyeballs are oh wait i think i remember this one okay i do remember this fish those are actually its eyes have evolved to move further back and see up through the dome in the low light reaches that it is and i think that's the evolutionary advantage of that but i think

it's very specific to the environment that it is i can't remember why or where i read this probably wikipedia just like browsing this isn't about facts. This is about the weird. I look at that and I say, that's weird. It just doesn't, I guess it just doesn't even look real to me. It looks like one of Mark's AI stock image. No, no, no. It's not mine. For FNAF, you mean?

No, it's for Subnautica. What about this one? A tardigrade. You think a tardigrade is weird that is weird it's got little tentacly feet this thing is like less than a tenth of an inch they're tiny they're tiny they can survive extreme pressures high and low they can survive extreme temperatures high and low they can survive air deprivation radiation dehydration and starvation they've even been exposed to outer space and survived they're weird they're crazy some tardigrades can be fully dehydrated to the

point where they're no longer technically alive and then you just put some water on them and they're all oh i'm back i feel like we take that for granted it's so weird it's i mean i don't take it for granted i just don't think it's weird i think it's awesome tardigrades are cool as shit and have you ever seen a video of them they are they're called water bears for a reason because they those are not tentacles those are claws they literally have claws they're like tiny little bears oh they're so weird like imagine one of those like dog size you see that walking around your nightmare fuel man well they're not dog size. It would look like a bear. Watch a video of a move. They are very much like little bears. Bears don't have back wrinkles. Do they? Yeah. Have you ever seen a shaved bear? No, mine have always had fur. I've never seen. Dude, get out. Get outside, man. What's wrong with you?

This is just nature. You think this is the weird episode? This is just like the, oh, cool, interesting animal episode. I want to see some weird are there shaved bears in cincinnati hang on let me search the cincinnati shaved bear well that's risky i don't know wait a minute wait what are you searching here hold on we're gonna find out i've seen some things I don't want to see. What is this? Oh, I see one. It's weird. How weird is it? Come on, let's... All right, show it. Our discovery today is that Wade has a really low tolerance for weird things.

Yeah, there you go. Oh, it's gone. There it is. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought it would look like. That's what a lot of creatures look like without you you guys you know this is your thing not mine you guys get to share some weird you tell me what's weird if none of my stuff's weird enough for you find me and show

me the weird does it have to be animals no i animals is what inspired my thought process but anything you think that's just like weird i guess i don't have to be visual either just in my mind i saw something weird i saw um was it i don't know i saw one of the animals on like on tv and i was like what the hell that's so weird like a hammerhead shark to me is weird we're used to seeing them but like those things eyes are way out here what the hell it's so weird i just find it cool and weird i'm gonna show you the weirdest shit you've ever seen, right? Okay, so look at this shit, right? It doesn't make any sense to me.

What could this have evolved from? Ah, it's the plate of Thessius. You can remove one thing from the top, replace it. Is it still the same plate of food? Why are we looking at calzones, Mark? I know. See, that's the thing. You would think it was a calzone. I thought it was a calzone, or maybe like a taco,

but it's a cannoli. So cannolis, they actually originate from Italy. Itali. Itali. Right? Which is a mythical continent that was invented years and years ago by a group of people

known as Romans, right? Okay okay so when they were i just want to remove a thousand points from you isn't this weird all right wait no hang on i got you i got you can always are weird i mean you're not wrong there's some weird foods i got one this one grosses me out a little bit this is not as unknown as it maybe used to be thanks in large part to the last of us um but these are praying mantises it's a praying mantis you can see the little worm thing coming out of its butt right this is a zombie parasite where the praying mantis gets infested with this worm thing which is like a very worm with a lot of different offshoots and whatnot the mantis is dead but the worm like makes it

body continue to function but if you take these mantises that have this worm and you hold them underwater the worm starts to like drown and it and it evacuates itself and so that's what these these pictures are of if you hold it underwater and then the worm is all bleh and like zips out the ass of the mantis right so that's not cordyceps this is a different kind of virus or fungus or something yeah that's weird this is like the cordyceps fungus in that it does a similar type of thing but i I think that's weird. That's pretty crazy. That is weird. That qualifies as weird. It's almost as weird as a cannoli. I didn't know the mantis was weird, or dead.

I didn't know the mantis was weird. I didn't know the mantis was weird. This is a praying mantis that are infected with parasitic fungus, and the fungus alters the mantis's behavior, causing it to mate with other mantises of the same species when they are not of the opposite sex weird the fungus also causes the mantis to become more aggressive and to attack other animals maybe it's not dead but it is infected by this fungus which like manipulates how it behaves what's the fungus

called it's a worm not a fungus it's yeah so this is a worm. It's a type of hair worm. I'm not seeing the actual name here. I'm just curious for... So it's called a zombie praying mantis. It's like the species of mantis that this happens to. Oh, you know what? I might be lying. Look, I'm not an expert on any of this, okay?

It's just weird. I got a weird thing. It's just something that, like, I don't know. It just blows my mind every time I see it. So this is what is called like flying reindeer, right? And it doesn't make any sense because I've never seen a reindeer that flies. Isn't that weird, Wade? God, that's just strange.

Wade, it just doesn't make any sense like apparently these are uh like eight or twelve reindeer that fly all around the world but in one day it just doesn't make any sense so it's super weird right this is like when you give a kid the math equation of like sarah has 10 apples now Now she has five oranges, too. How many fruits does she have? And your answer is like, too many for her to carry home without a basket. No, man. It's so, so weird. LA houses are so weird.

A flying reindeer. That's almost as weird as a plate of cannolis. That's pretty weird. Almost as weird as a cute tardigrade. Almost as weird as an adorable water bear. One of the most fascinating, cool creatures. They're weird. They can this is weird as a cute tardigrade. Oh, this is weird as an adorable water bear, one of the most fascinating cool creatures. They're weird. They can survive in outer space.

They can survive high and low temperatures. The things they can survive is weird. It's cool, but weird. They're fascinating, and we might be able to learn valuable scientific insights from them. Just like you might be able to learn valuable scientific insights from these flying reindeer. Think of how much fuel we could save well how much does a reindeer eat and they poop and fart a lot so that can't be good for greenhouse gas that can't be good yeah they are spreading it around pretty good where'd you get this image

mark is this one of your thumbnails i don't know i think it's from like a trail cam in the sky yeah i'm sure it is all right okay all right so that's mine how many you got anything else that's weird uh you know what i do have one i've never heard of those worms though that's wild i'd never heard of those worms before because even whenever last of us was like taking the world by storm and everyone learned the term cordyceps like before the show about the game and with the show it came all came back again those worms are something i'd never encountered before so that's wild yeah no i did the zombie parasite zombie fungus type thing in the insect world is is pretty interesting all right i have one uh i'm gonna play a little snippet of video okay the

bar is set very low right now after uh mark's great contribution so uh but i just want i just want to share this i think this is weird okay can i just say that I think this is weird, okay? Can I just say that? I think this is weird. Anyway, yeah, look. That's all you need to know right there. That's the entire thing. There is competitive pizza spinning and tossing. And, like, I have no hate for anyone who's really into pizza. It's your, you know, you have a pizza shop.

It's your livelihood. It's your life. You spend a lot of time and effort on that. But that's weird. Why is it competitive? competitive and also how do you tell if it's good or not what because i will say the end result of these guys is not usually pizza and if i'm judging a pizza tossing competition and you don't actually end up making a pizza you just end up with a bunch of dough ball up in your hand or whatever and it's like totally trash i feel like that's really bad pizza tossing maybe i'm not the right person to judge this but anyway i think it's weird that that exists what do you think wait is that weird enough

yeah and if it's called pizza tossing and not dough spinning or something then it is a lie because after all the spinning tossing whatever they do to it you would have to see if the pizza turns out good right yeah if you can't eat the pizza how do you know if it's good at all it's not even pizza it might as well be a fake sheet of dough that's just like rubber that you could just toss around and infinitely and not hurt and whatever like it seems i don't it's cheating to me i don't know i also think the food eating competitions are kind of weird like how many people are how many 50 hot dogs can you eat that's all you you speak a no word about Joey Chestnut.

I swear to God. I have to back up Bob on this one. Don't you dare disgrace the name of Joey Chestnut. Tell me about Joey Chestnut, Mark. Can you tell me about him? Yeah, I know Joey Chestnut. He's a world hot dog eating champion. He once ate 72 hot dogs in 15 minutes.

Do you understand the kind of mental fortitude it takes to eat 72 hot dogs in 15 minutes? You thought I didn't know about Joey Chestnut, didn't you? Honestly, I kind of did. Unless you just Googled it. I thought he had you, too. I got to be super honest. But then Mark comes in hot with the chat. I feel like he Googled it as he said that.

He was like, don't you talk about sir joey chestnut to me excuse me if you even had an inkling of actually watching my content you would know that i talk about joey chestnut and length and we have made numerous videos in honor of joey chestnut and his championship legacy through the years that is actually yeah that's true i remember that now i don't watch enough of your content to know that i like mark so i watch his videos sometimes from time to time all right but wait i'm about to blow your gob right off okay i've got my bar set so yeah man can you cross it let's find out so i did a lot of research into this one sure and it's just like i look you're gonna you're gonna just like you're gonna you're gonna shit your own balls out of your ass when you see how weird these are oh my god not

again here we go just buckle up don't tell me i didn't just casually drop that line drop that line boom all right we got the 72 weirdest animals on earth all right did you just google weird animals and click the link what did you what do you expect me to do mark did you build this website using the power of ai probably i guess look guess. Look, you got the aye-aye. Look at that with his weird... What are these, tentacles? Ah, fucking... Two eyes, hence its name, aye-aye. God, avert your eyes, children.

We got the axolotl, which is also known as the Mexican walking fish. You know, I was Googling some of these animals, and this same link popped up. But go ahead. And look at this guy this is red face he's drinking a bit munch he just needs some sunscreen yeah oh man is that a pig oh that's not right it's whoa hey that's the wikipedia image i know this you know this is the same one here but they call it the barrel eye fish there yeah the barrel eye fish wait doesn't even know what it's called so for those who aren't watching i'll give an apt description of this fish it is a fish

that looks like a fish except where its head is whoa whoa whoa if they're not watching what the hell that's weird right that's weird that is weird that's really weird uh so it's got a a face number one i think the weirder part is not so much this transparent dome. I think it's the fact that it has a face with two eyes like up front and a sad, dour expression and pursed lips. I think we glossed over that because of this going on up here. But in all honesty, if you just look at the fish from here on out, right, right at the front, that is weird. It kind of looks like a concerned ant. It's got a fish face. I feel like a lot of fish look like that that's not what a fish looks like

that pouty like that's a very human-esque uh expression and face on a fish i think that's like if your aunt was a dolphin and she was like concerned about something you'd done and was sitting you down for a talk all right well you better buckle up for the next one because your nipples are gonna erode away like the glaciers uh when you see this thing look at that it's a bad-eared fox it's a fox creature with big look how big its weird ears are big ears get ready because your brain's gonna liquefy and shoot out of your pores like scrambled eggs who Whoosh. Look at this thing. It's got a blue tongue.

We skipped right over. Look at this. It's a skink with a blue tongue. No, you know, I got to say, I've always thought that a skink, I knew that that was an animal. I thought it was a skunk mixed with a sink for some reason. Oh, no. And I'm really disappointed in what it actually looks like. Like a black and white striped sink?

Yeah, like a furry sink that really smells bad. And when you turn on the faucet, a blue tongue comes out instead of water and just like licks your hands. All right, get ready for the next one, but hold your breath, but be careful. Your lungs might... Oh, man. Are we going through all 72 before Bob gets a turn again? I can't wait. Your lungs might erupt like Vesuvius out of your nose.

Here we go. Boom, it's a Bobbit worm. Whoa. I mean, that is kind of weird. Whoa, that's crazy. Up to three meters in length. I'm gonna say they're millimeters. Meters.

That's big, right? That is big. It's a worm. It's got like an iridescent pearlescent pattern on it. It's got spikes all up and down in a weird flat. But are those legs? Are those like just furs? I think it's legs, but I don't know.

Can worms have legs? Or is that like, make them not worms anymore? Uh, I don't know. Get ready for the next one. Your bones are going to fragment like glass in a paint mixer. Shoopow, it's a capybara! Wow! The capybaras! Do you guys know that song?

Capybara! Capybara, capybara, capybara, capybara. Ooh! Capybara. Capybara, capybara. No? The capybara song? So there's one other word other than capybara and it's ooh? Oh my god. In this image you can see a, look, you can see a red-tongued skink down here in the bottom left

You see that Man, that's weird. You got first a blue tongue and then a red tongue skink I can't even survive this onslaught of weirdness Hold on hold on to your left foot mark. When is it? What is it gonna be my turn mark? Oh? Come on no all right. I'll skip ad to the bottom here i'll hold on to your whoa look at the yeti crab i've got the yeti crab on my list yeti crabs are wow what other ads do you have down there i know i've got this episode in the bag but but Bob, are you done? Can I go finally?

Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. Yeah, sure. This is such a disaster. Wade, are you ready for this? Are you ready, Wade, for what I've got going on?

Yeah, sure. All right. So if we scroll to the next one here. Look at the colossal squid. Look at how big the colossal squid is right now. There's a picture of this squid up next to a boat. It looks like a pretty big fishing boat. What is this website?

Can we at least give them credit? The squid is like the size of several humans. Imagine getting that calamari. You know how calamari rings are usually like, you know, like an inch or a couple inches maybe at the biggest? That'd be like a calamari ring the size of an inflatable inner tube. I know that Wade is giving you points by the bucket right now, but I have to stop the outflow because Bob just pulled up the same website that I had. He's trying to take credit for my weakness. Mark, did you show us the Kalugo, Mark?

Also known as the Flying Lemur because I didn't see you talking about the Flying Lemur. How do I kick you off of presentationing? Because I want to showcase my website that I did research about. They can't show the same website we've both used it once, you have to use a new source that's the deal, you gotta find something new that's the rules, that's always been the rules also before I go I just want to say look at the

Dementor Wasp they prey on cockroaches by injecting venom into their head which turns them into a zombie which then walks the zombified, wow the cockroach just walks into the wasp nest to get eaten oh that's actually you know what that

references what I was talking about earlier with the mantises so that's like combination points that's like a triple word score or something right there oh you're you're right well I got I got one that's gonna blow your dick off and then grow you a new one oh it better not be a dragon-headed caterpillar from fact animal calm

All right, here we go. Got you. Ready? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? HAAAAAAA! Look at this piece of shit! 30 of the weirdest animals there are. I wonder what you googled to find this, man. Don't look at that. Look at this goofy deer thing. I feel like you two have some silent agreement just to make fucking fun of me for

thinking that the bear tick thing was weird tardigrades are awesome i don't know what your problem with tardigrades is i know i'm being roasted for it and i don't appreciate it but also i've laughed really hard so look look earth has some truly wacky creatures that will surely make your jaw drop is Is your jaw not dropping? Mark, Mark, you know what? Hang on. I've got one as well. I've got a new one.

I really want to show. I'll stop presenting so you can present it. Okay, yeah, hang on. This is important. I want to get this up here. All right, so if you look at the title of this page, it's misleading, and that's not the whole page that I want to share with you guys. It does say scary animals. Oh, God. But that's not the whole page that i want to share with you guys it does say scary animals oh god but that's not what we're talking about if you scroll down here i think you'll find

in fact the ii is the world's weirdest nocturnal primate and even though it's on the scary list it's definitely weird i feel like we can confirm that. Wait, no. Bob, I've got something even weirder. Are you ready for this? No, yeah. No, hit me with it. Hold on. Hold on. Let me just... I'm the host. You're supposed to respect me.

What about this is not respecting you? We're playing your game. Don't you want to play the game? Okay, so if you look right here, you'll notice that this bathroom is exceptionally dirty and I'm like, how did poop get on the wall? So what I do is I bust out my power washer and I just clean the- Are you playing this in the background while we're recording a podcast? So you're saying the poop cleans off very well. Are you shitting me?

No, no, even though it's a bathroom and so you'd think like, oh, I might be shitting you. No, oddly enough, I'm in a bathroom not pooping. How weird is that? a bathroom not pooping how weird is that man it really is getting surprisingly clean given that you're just you know power oh look at that very yeah i got the extension on there yeah so does that give you like better range i guess yeah yeah so i don't have to get up super close to it uh so you know that way i i can kind of just stay in one spot and i don't have to be moving around it makes it less motion sick you know man motion sickness that's weird that's true it is weird um bob you have a follow-up all right i have one more i was i swear i wasn't playing that

the whole time i just fired it up this might be related to one that mark shared already, but I want to just get this in here. It's hard to tell, but if you look closely at this, can you tell if this is a reindeer that's about to fly or a non-reindeer that's just about to jump? Oh, man. The background has been Photoshopped out,

and I know Mark talked about flying reindeer earlier, but I'm just saying, isn't it weird how indistinguishable this is from a reindeer i have no idea what to even think about that that yeah uh i just want to can i just blow your mind for a second yeah yeah i would love that chris is leaving we've been talking about this all day that's a reference to a tiktoker whose name i can't remember sorry buddy anyway sorry wade um what

did you want us to talk about i have another oh god if i may yeah go for it dude i can't wait to see what you got all right so i did some more research and i've got the top 10 scariest animatronics in five nights at freddy's ranked and I think it's probably the most accurate description of, they have 10. The Marionette, which I find to be pretty low ranking here. I think that's very weird of them to rank the Marionette or the Puppet so lowly. It's one of the weirder ones.

Yeah, and they have it below Spring Trap, which honestly, like, the Marionette is far scarier than Spring Trap here. Is this scariest or weirdest? What's it supposed to be uh but i mean synonymous really when you get in the deep of the fnaf lore but then they have entered which is like a combination of springtrap and the marionette so i get that being above both but still it's just like and then they have the daycare attendant above both of these and i'm

like this is the most ridiculous list ever um so that's oh you guys want to watch all finesse jump scares ranked by scares is it your video all right here we go whose video is this i don't know this is like the please copyright us episode jesus christ oh it just jumpscares back to back! Why?! Ow! Holy fuck, dude!

This isn't even a ranking! It's just yelling! Stop this noise! Alright, fine, i'll i'll let bob go now we're gonna get the i shit myself while i crashed my car watching distractible oh god well i don't know how i'm ever gonna top that for weirdness i hope you don't man i should just end this episode you don't have anything else right y'all you're done hang on let me do a little bit of quick research i'm really glad you guys are taking this topic I hope you don't. Man, I should just end this episode. You don't have anything else, right? Y'all, you're done. Hang on.

Let me do a little bit of quick research. I'm really glad you guys are taking this topic to heart. What do you got, man? All right. No, here, look here. I've got, I just, I'm just going to share this. I'm just going to share it and take it back real quick. I just want you to look at it and take it in and then we'll discuss it.

This is pretty weird. So we've got that going for us. And I'll describe it for viewers at home. It's a man who appears to be wearing a carved watermelon husk helmet and some goggles that look not

unlike minion goggles. But the opening on the helmet is sort of narrow. So it sort of gives his face a funny proportion. And he's tucking his chin. So he's got a double chin and he's smiling, but his lips are closed. He's got a really big lower lip. Am I on a better show? Am I on Punk'd?

He had a green blanket wrapped around his torso. So he's very green in color. For those who weren't watching, the best part of that is Bob shared it for half a second and then shared it so just like this jump scare of a watermelon. Look, I didn't want to overwhelm anybody with how weird it was. I just wanted to expose you to it so we could discuss. Jesus Christ. Oh my God.

All right. I've got one weirder thing here to show to you guys so i've always thought this was the weirdest thing that i could ever experience uh and it's just one of those describe for the listeners mark what's happening right now just i you it's this experience where you're in an office so loud and then you get this phone call right and you don't know who's calling and i'm like what is this and you've got this screen and you got like security cameras and like it's a children's pizzeria but it's not right okay so you've got like security cameras that show these what should be fun uh like adorable animatronics for uh children but something's wrong right something's wrong if you

go to uh camera two four b it says don't run don't yell don't scream don't poop on the floor stay close to mom don't touch freddy don't scream don't poop on the floor stay close to mom don't touch freddy don't hit leave before dark what's up with that that's pretty weird anyway i thought that was pretty weird so uh how would you thumbnail that oh man what's a thumbnail i don't know i don't think i could top that i gotta be completely honest with that's great because i don't know i don't think i could top that i gotta be completely honest with that's great because i don't know if i can take any more of this episode i don't think there's anything that would be weirder than that i couldn't imagine yeah i guess it's up to me to calculate points and man yeah how many points did i get yeah how

many points did i get oh guys at least five each or i'm figuring that out right now you don't look like you're figuring anything you look like you're just sitting there that's what figuring out looks like i gotta say mark lost a thousand points at one point that's the only thing i wrote down and bob made me laugh when he stole mark's fact animal website page i'm gonna give the win to bob it was a close one though it was at least within 2 000 points but i bet you laughed you laughed i remember you did but you also crushed my soul in ways i didn't know was possible today by making a complete mockery of my topic

i didn't i did exactly what you said. I can't believe this. You showed me someone's artwork of Santa's reindeer and talked about how weird they are. I did more than that. You did. You played Power Wash Simulator in FNAF. And you went back to Fact Animals top 72 weirdest animals on earth.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a close one. Bob wins by probably about 1500 points. I protest this. Yeah, exercise your rights, Mark. I believe in you. What's my rights? Someone make me a thumbnail of Mark protesting this with circles, arrows, and question marks. I can't believe this.

I'm, ugh. I would say thank you guys for an interesting and thoughtful discussion of weird today, but I don't know that I could honestly even lie to get that out. So, Bob, winner's speech. Can I just say something? I know you might be disappointed in how it all went down. I am and I'm not at the same time. But I do feel like this episode, if we're

going to look at this for the bigger picture, this episode is pretty weird. And so really Mark, I think got your episode to exactly where it needed to be. And I got to be, I was playing off of Mark, but I think Mark was really the spearhead on that one. So he may have lost the competition, but I got to give props to the loser for really driving the bus today and really making sure that we didn't miss any stops. I should have just made you both lose is what I should have done. You probably have that power, but it seems like it's too late now.

Yeah, too late. Too late. Anyway, thanks for the win. I earned this. Oh, I thought you were transferring the win to me. I sounded like heart and spirit of the episode. Yo, I could do that. Alright. But I don't know if I want to do that.

Do you have a compelling reason that I should make you the winner, Mark? I feel like you just gave all the compelling reasons. The heart and soul of the episode really drove the weirdness home and that was the... I'm not stealing your reasons or anything i just think you've said really good reasons of why i'm not gonna lie the weird cock tease of watermelon man is like the flash of the image we almost got to see is ingrained in my mind well you just need a little a little snippet of it it was hell of a tease man you stole my arguments which turned me

off a little mark but you also kissed my ass, which I enjoy very much. Okay, I'll do it. What are rules anyway? My winner speech is that Mark should be the winner, so I make Mark the winner post-actively. Yay! I'm just here, man, so yeah, sure, why not? Yes!

Mark, do you have a loser's transferring into winner's speech? Yep, got it. All right, here we go. So what I want to do is show you some of the best methods of cleaning. So when you have the washer, so I don't have the best washer right now because I added one and I haven't played for a bit. It's really important to remember that patience is everything. I'm not a patient guy, but it's taught me patience, right? To just go with the flow, to have a water pun in there,

and just let it wash over you, the experience of it. Yeah? Uh-huh. Anyway, so as you can see, I'm about to complete, and so that'll be a really exciting time. Thank you guys so much for joining today. Anyway, so as you can see, I'm about to complete. And so that'll be a really exciting time. Thank you guys so much for joining today. This is Distractible, a podcast where we get distracted.

Stay tuned for the next one where Bob will have transferred his winner's abilities to Mark. And I guess Mark will host. And follow them. Mark Plyer, Bob Meisker I'm Wade, Minion777 or LordMinion777 we might have merch stored at distractiblepodcast.com

until next time podcast out