Distractible - Weird (Part 3)

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

But of course! The third member of the Distractible trifecta must also guide a chat about ~the weird~. This time, it's weird real estate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adc...hoices

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Starting point is 00:01:20 Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. This week, the dudes delve even deeper into the disturbing. Brilliant Bob is terrified of split brains and admits he's not a Marvite Excelsior. Duct-taping Mark ships weapons-grade computers, but isn't scared of Michael Myers. And bounty-hunting Wade's nightmares are filled with magic powders. From Shakira and Anthrax to spectral horror photobombs.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Yes, it's time for Weird Part 3. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. multiple wins in in less than a couple months time unbelievable hard to believe hard to fathom uh i'm joined as ever by my uh co casters yeah you're not hosts by my fellow humans mark and wade who will be competing today say hi hello keep keep looking happy i told him to look happy hello how are you for watching on Spotify they're happy okay and I'm happy because I was up
Starting point is 00:02:55 all night with a screaming baby which is a great way to prepare for hosting a podcast I don't know if I've talked about the baby before do you guys remember me talking about the baby no what's that or do you want us to say yes? Uh, say yes. Say yes. Yes, I remember
Starting point is 00:03:10 babies. My face is starting to hurt. Alright, you can stop pretending to be happy. Feel how you feel. But feel it good. Ugh. Um. If you're new to this podcast, all three of us host it sometimes. But the one who hosts
Starting point is 00:03:25 this episode is me. No. I don't think we've ever done an episode where all three of us host all at once, but that is something that we should try to broach. That's theoretically possible. Theoretically. Theoretically, anything's possible on this podcast. We just haven't executed upon it.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Someday, sometime, there might have to be a triple hosting, which would also be a triple competing? Yeah, I think so. So kind of a free-for-all. Does that happen if we all lose or we all win? There's been so many times we should have all loosed, but I don't know. Loosed? Losing? Losing.
Starting point is 00:03:58 We've all loosened. Lossed. Lussened. We all lussied. Lossed are those things you put in your throat when you cough a lot. Silly Bob. You got me there. Anyway, if you're new to this podcast, I host, they compete, points, maybe.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Somebody wins, that person hosts the next one. Who cares? If you don't know how this works, it doesn't really matter because it's all made up. And sometimes one of us just keeps losing, even though it's a 50-50 shot over and over again. Despite all odds, despite the likelihood and the reality of how that works, Sometimes one of us just keeps losing, even though it's a 50-50 shot over and over again. Despite all odds, despite the likelihood and the reality of how that works, one of us just loses, loses, and loses, and loses, and then is never bitter about it and doesn't hold on to it for a long period of time afterwards.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Uh-huh. Great. I agree. I agree with these statements. Listen, no. You don't have to force it you can feel however you feel remember you're free yes you're emotionally free and i also think that that was complete uh if that happened was completely ridiculous and against um i don't know everything i stand for like it's the laws of nature and everything in the world and you're so right mark i don't know how you could say something so brave and so. Like it's the laws of nature and everything in the world and you're so right Mark. I don't know how you could say something so brave and so
Starting point is 00:05:08 true but it's definitely worth points. Thank you. Thank you very much. I was thinking about Shakira. That's definitely worth points. I love Shakira. Never get tired of Shakira. Is this actually like a fandom thing Wade? Do you actually really, really adore Shakira
Starting point is 00:05:25 and follow Shakira on all social medias and whatnot? I don't follow, but she lives rent-free in my head. Is it just a lust thing? No. I mean, was there a crush years ago? Yeah. That was a long pause. That was a long pause.
Starting point is 00:05:40 No, I genuinely enjoy her music. Her doing the Super Bowl a few years back was one of the most exciting things. I was like, holy crap. I just, I don't know. There's so few things that you get super excited for, and they're usually either food-related or they're game related, and I've just never seen you get super excited about a musical artist. Ah,
Starting point is 00:05:55 meat, games, and sex. The three M's of Wade. I mean... Hold on. I think... Wade, do you wanna... Wade, do you wanna to come to my party there's gonna be two of your three m's there meeting games i'm just gonna retract a bit into my chair and let you guys talk look at least there's an m in the word games that's close enough and if you move the top of the half of x next to the bottom half of x you
Starting point is 00:06:26 make an m yeah you could dissemble an x into an m everyone knows that yeah if you just change reality to what you want it agrees with you which i think embodies wade's way of life at least up here man all the time wait wade lives life like like one of those characters from like uh like like we happy few that game where everyone's on hallucinogenic drugs the whole time and everything's just awesome unless the drugs wear off and you can see reality and then it's and then it's really not awesome there are days where i'm waiting to wake up like in a hospital bed it's like i've been in a coma for 30 years or like i'm gonna wake up and being in an ambulance where there was like a chemical spill and like all of this was a fever dream and it's like actually my life sucks an angel just flies down and lands next to you and is like be dead
Starting point is 00:07:13 for a long time man um this has just been a test and i gotta say we're pretty concerned with how it planned out i thought something like this was happening the other day i actually had a nightmare and i woke up but in my nightmare, I thought I was finally coming to Somebody had handed me like I was at my my grandparents cabin, which i've not been to in a while My grandparents have been gone a long time But someone handed me like a bag of what I thought was like powdered sugar for like french toast or something And I went to crack it open and it turned out it was something called like atrexia powder So I don't know if that's a real word, but in my head it was like, oh god something called like atrexia powder I don't even know if that's a real word but in my
Starting point is 00:07:46 head it was like oh god it's atrexia powder I'm gonna die and like my hand started swelling and going numb and my throat and nose started closing up and I woke up and I was like the atrexia powder! I was like wait what is
Starting point is 00:08:02 I'm gonna google this is that real? I was about to is atrexia powder real how do you spell that way apparently well in my head it was a-t-r-e-x-i-a apparently there's something called atroxia powder i don't know what this is a foundation well that's not what i was dreaming of atroxia blessings.com powder foundation a lightweight oil free natural powder foundation but it's not ateroxia it's supposed to be atrexia oh it's not been invented yet
Starting point is 00:08:32 but it'll be very deadly and scary and you guys shouldn't open the bags and put it on your toast were you just thinking of anthrax and you just misremembered it in the first place because you do that with words a lot where you I'll say a word straight up very clearly and you just won't realize what i'm saying i mean in my dream maybe but like it was very vivid like i'm a visual person you know like bob just talked about how
Starting point is 00:08:54 he doesn't see things in his head like apples and stuff when he imagines them you have to bring that up again huh i saw a bag that kind of looked like a marshmallow bag, right? It had like the little like marshmallowy stripes, but it said A-T-R-E-X-I-A powder and then powder was under the little like rainbow colored powder. Atrexia powder. And it was ripped open in the middle and I remember just, I touched it with my hand and like breathed a little
Starting point is 00:09:18 bit. I felt it go in my nostrils and then like my hand just swelling and cramping and going numb and like I felt my breathing all constricted. And I was like, oh, my God, the atrexia powder. It's got me. It finally got me. Well, I mean, maybe that was the reality.
Starting point is 00:09:30 And that's why you're in the ambulance and they're trying to wake you up, man. The atrexia's got you. I thought that might be it. You gotta beat the atrexia. You gotta beat it, man. I thought the atrexia had caused all of my reality to be not real. But is it a hell? You know, it's kind of nice so right your life's not
Starting point is 00:09:46 that bad the real one or this one or the other i don't know man you're fucking with my head it's okay man stay asleep listen you guys are freaking me out can i just say that uh i this is a new it's not a new theme in in like tv shows or anything by any means but recently i've watched a couple shows that have um like made me question my reality most recently i've been watching uh what's it called severance it's like an apple tv show have you guys seen this uh no it's a basically there's like a procedure you get where it severs your work self from your non-work self. Oh, I heard about that. And so your mind is spatially bounded.
Starting point is 00:10:31 So when you take an elevator to go to work, and in the elevator, you pass through some sort of spatial boundary, and you switch into the person who's at work. And so for the person who's at work, you're like, you're at work, you're in your suit, you go to the elevator, you push the button, you get in the elevator, and the next thing you remember is the elevator door's opening and you walk out, but you're in like a fresh suit. And it's about like the idea of like a split brain and like having basically two separate people inside of your...
Starting point is 00:11:03 It's freaking me out, man. You guys are weirding me out with this shit. I mean, your, it's freaking me out, man. You guys are weird me out with the shit. This is like, I mean, well, that's actually a common, common idea. And we talked about that before with like the split brain experiments.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Um, but the idea of like forcing that is kind of interesting. And I do like the concept was to show good though. I have not finished it, but so far it's very good. Would recommend it gets, it, it has a lot of like
Starting point is 00:11:26 interesting themes and things that it explores and and looks at in terms of like personal relationships and how that works inside and outside of the the two different persons and the uh issues with uh things leaking from one side to the other kind of like you know like some uh one of the characters is like a traumatic event in their regular life. And it somehow is, like, leaking into their separate brain. Even though, theoretically, they're supposed to be completely bifurcated. It's interesting. Is the idea that you pass a certain point in the elevator and then you have, like, an immediate switch at that point?
Starting point is 00:12:00 It's literally like a video game where it's like they they create a spatial area where it's like if you're inside the walls of this building the your thing switches on and you are the other person and then when you walk out the door so this this is not really a spoiler so in one of the earliest i think it's the first episode one of the earliest episodes uh there's a person who's new to this who's like been hired right so she's she's new and they're trying to like train her and orient her to how this works and there's a there's a door that she freaks out and she's like i want to quit i want to and the guy's like okay yeah you can quit you can quit that's okay and they go to this door and when you walk out the door you become your normal person
Starting point is 00:12:40 and when you walk back through it it's like an it's like a fire stairwell right it's like an escape stairwell and there's a scene where she's like an it's like a fire stairwell, right? It's like an escape stairwell. And there's a scene where she's like running at the door and she's just like, boom, because all she remembers is inside. She's running out and then she's flying back in and she doesn't remember anything outside of the door. It's just like it's like a really strong visual representation of it. But it's a great show. It's a very interesting show they do
Starting point is 00:13:05 a good job but it's freaking me out what if you crawl out so half of you's in and half of you's out or if you stop in between like where the loading hits well there's just there is just a wall right so wherever your brain is at is pretty much affected and i believe there's a specific point in your brain that triggers it i don't get too much into it because that's a little bit of a spoiler but you can't like half in half out. It's pretty much on or off, I think, in the theoretical universe of the show. But yeah, I mean, I'm hoping they explore that a little bit because that's always the
Starting point is 00:13:34 question. Can you fuck with it? Can you break it like a video game? Probably. Man, I feel like I used to watch so many more TV shows than I do now. I just like never get into something because I just don't have time to get super into a show and then binge watch that show because that's what
Starting point is 00:13:50 I want to do. I just don't have that many hours to spare. Woe is me. I'm so busy. Everyone feel bad about me. Give me points. Everybody other than Bob, give him points. This is the world's smallest violin. The world's smallest points. You get two micro points you know what mark this is
Starting point is 00:14:07 the world's smallest violin here's the world's smallest points for you oh sweet what's the exchange rate uh not great okay not great pretty weak pretty weak not a lot of buying power can i get some jumbo points uh world's largest points don't fit in my office sorry don't have to be largest can i get like a a medium combo points well how many varieties of points do you think i have i don't know we're asking what's on the menu we're lucky i'm awake i'm i'm struggling i'm struggling with that so you know what world smallest points is the only variety other than normal today okay okay i have normal points then oh sure yeah can i duct tape two normal points together
Starting point is 00:14:47 what do you want to do with it i don't know would it make a jumbo point i don't know would it be more valuable i would be worth two normal points unless like the tape peels off part of like the paint on the points in which case they lose a little bit of value all right then here i'll tell you this bob you give me a bucket of normal points and i'll just start experimenting i'll come back to you with what has the most value Bob. You give me a bucket of normal points, and I'll just start experimenting and I'll come back to you with what has the most value. Alright, I grant you one bucket of normal points, Mark. Tell me what you figure out. There's gotta be like 500 points in here.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Anyway, we usually do like small talk. You guys got anything? What's new? What's going on? How are you doing? I don't know. Wade, you don't need to be so panicked about your life. You were talking about how you were excited about something just before we started this episode.
Starting point is 00:15:30 Wade, have you heard of this new thing, Trexia powder? Stop! Dude, that freaked me out, man. I've had weird nightmares the last week or so, and I don't get nightmares very often. It's not like I wake up and I can't go back to sleep from them, but it's more like I wake up from them and I'm like, what if that was real? Like, I don't know, that's how my brain works like I wake up and I can't go back to sleep from them, but it's more like I wake up from them and I'm like, what if that was real? Like, I don't know. That's how my brain works. I wake up from something like that.
Starting point is 00:15:48 It's like, holy shit. Ever since watching like the Doctor Strange movie where they talk about like dreams being like a multiverse reality or something, my head is like adopted that. It's like, did I just witness another way die to atrexia powder? That was definitely an original idea in in doctor i'm not saying it was originally from them but that's where i started thinking about it it's just like how all of our ideas are usually someone else's idea 30 years ago yeah at least he's finally crediting the movie he's stealing his ideas from you know god the worst meme to ever come from the
Starting point is 00:16:19 show what about you mark are you done i'm sorry i didn't if you're not? Are you done? I'm sorry. I didn't. If you're not done, wait, you can continue. I don't have that much going on. I'm moving and tired. He's done. Go ahead, Mark. Okay, cool. I've just been busy editing the movie, which has been just a file management nightmare. I haven't gotten into too many details about that, but I think I've mentioned before that I've been dealing with like 90 terabytes of footage.
Starting point is 00:16:43 before that I've been dealing with like 90 terabytes of footage. But I ran into a new conundrum with this because for those of you who don't know, Lixian is one of my editors. He's been helping out with this, but he lives in Portugal. Also, he lives on my shelf. Oh, that's a Lixian, Blushy. That's nice. But apparently when you ship hard drives specifically, there are a lot of regulations and laws that don't say you can't. But people get really curious, especially at the import and customs area when you are shipping a 90 terabyte hard drive.
Starting point is 00:17:22 Well, OK, I guess that's kind of a large capacity they want to know everything about it they want to open it up and they want to like look at all the files that are there it's not always a case but it's like for some reason you know piracy is a thing across the world and so when you're shipping out that much uh material so they think you're shipping like video camera movies from theaters or something and it's 90 terabytes i have no idea but it's like it got held up at the the the customs office and they needed to call both the sender and then the receiver needed to get on the phone with them like a steven spielberg an envelope that like the director approval my movie box movie who who are you talking about
Starting point is 00:18:09 do you think steven spielberg's gonna get on the phone be like oh yeah this is okay here's my you think portugal cares what steven spielberg thinks at least get michael bay you guys like et over there you heard of that? Yeah, that's me. The Michael Bay box. If they open the box before it's supposed to be open, it explodes. Wait, I want to hear this. Wait, who do you think are the most respected directors internationally?
Starting point is 00:18:39 I want to hear this list. International? I don't know internationally. Oh, no. Steve Brewer? Michael Bay? I guess Michael Bay is on my list if I wouldn't put him international. Or even national, probably. I think, doesn't Transformers do really well internationally?
Starting point is 00:18:52 Oh, yeah, it does. It does. It does actually really well. I mean, big time directors that come to mind. Steven Spielberg, Quentin Tarantino, Markiplier. Those are the three directors I know. It's the Mount Rushmore of directors, Mark. Is Alfred Hitchcock still directing?
Starting point is 00:19:13 Steven Spielberg, Quentin Tarantino, Markiplier. Alfred Hitchcock. Hitchcock, there you go. And Mark Wahlberg. Lucas, he's still directing Star wars lucas you know luke oh lukey i call him g luck biggest director we can't all right well that's fair you know what it's not like james cameron avatar shut down cameron oh he's pretty good yeah no that's fair you know what it's not like Cameron avatar Cameron oh he's pretty good yeah I know that's good avatar
Starting point is 00:19:47 but now it's wet I haven't even seen that one unfortunately when I googled biggest directors it gave me them in order of height and not in popularity that's the list we're all looking for yeah wait who's a tall wait let me think who's a tall director FW Murnau and Clint Eastwood are both
Starting point is 00:20:04 6'4 oh Clint Eastwood I was gonna say is let me think who's a tall director fw murnow and clint eastwood are both six four oh clint is uh is guillermo del toro is he tall 5 10 oh that's pretty tall ridley scott's 5 9 this is not the jj abrams i should have thought abrams uh who's that guy uh that everyone loves that i just that movie that i talked a bunch of shit about and everyone's mad on the subreddit um James Gunn James Gunn's real short oh when you did the guardians of the galaxy and marvel rant yeah no people were really upset about that they are very upset I jokingly replied no on the tweets like whenever about it but like people were like Bob had the worst take I've ever seen in my life and he should be cast out from the podcast and never allowed to return I don't remember what I said and I probably said something that was overly harsh and really mean and like oh it shouldn't exist I don't mean I don't mean that I just mean that I
Starting point is 00:20:53 fucking hate Marvel movies and I'm so sick of every time a new Marvel movie comes out no matter how bad it is I there's those people online who are like the new Thor love and thunder movie is so great it's so funny and they used 80 songs in the soundtrack which is original like every other marvel movie i just i'm just don't like them okay it's russo brothers peter jackson christopher nolan tim burton david gates so many names i didn't think about the rushmore of directors that you're crafting is getting a little out of hand i think you're gonna have to worry mark you're still top 30 i'm still number three i'll take that you know and fair right that's quite the spot i could i can see you up there but third is just look i'm
Starting point is 00:21:35 a known director talent evaluator and i think you're going far kid thank you director talent evaluator i think you're going far kid, kid. You're going real far. Any excuse. Any excuse. Any excuse. Get that right off. God damn it. Now I can justify ordering two more of these puppies.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Six dollars off my taxes, baby. Just trying to angle for more ways to get more cigars. Yeah, you're going far. You're going far. Just like my tax credits. Is that how you think taxes work? Of course. You buy a cigar and you go far just like my tax credits is that how you think taxes work of course you buy a cigar you get money back but wait i assume at some point you did file your own you filed your own taxes when was the last time you filed your own taxes like i love it like 2014 2013 file your own because my mommy helped me until i got help i'm not one to talk
Starting point is 00:22:26 i haven't filed my own taxes in ages i have filed my own taxes including last year my entire life i literally think the last time i did it with help was 2013 or 2014 doing the podcast and the youtube and all that the youtube holy fuck i'm getting guys i'm getting older um and that brings you to today's theme it's joyously complex i love it a lot and it's not at all torture but yeah so you do you not like the podcast no that i don't like that i don't like the taxes oh okay i thought you were like i love doing the podcast it's joy joyous. Not torture at all. He's like, everyone hates my Marvel take and I hate being here. I quit. I'm fucking sick of this.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Okay. So let's talk about that. No, I hate taxes. Could you imagine in other countries that they just send you a bill? The government's like, hey, pay us this much. And you just like pay it. And there's no bullshit or shenanigans. And if you think it's
Starting point is 00:23:25 wrong you can like do some stuff must be nice what a weird system why do we do it the way we do i sometimes feel like it's common knowledge but maybe it's not if people don't know the reason that we have to do taxes the way we do is because the tax uh assistant companies are very very good at lobbying to change how taxes are done the irs does know exactly how much you owe but through uh extensive uh unnecessary red tape we've created a system where um you need to calculate it all yourself and then because money is speech in politics yes as it should be as it should be those companies that have all that money just have a lot of speech and they speak a lot to the pockets of the people that make the rules about that they speak real loud and good and because obviously they have the money and therefore yes yeah their speech is better because of how much more money they have i got a crispy bill clinton
Starting point is 00:24:25 that says otherwise he's not on a bill never mind i just have a crispy bill clinton it's a cardboard cutout i keep of him upstairs uh who's on money again who's on money oh steven spielberg ridley scott Spielberg, Ridley Scott, Markiplier. What the hell is Franklin's name? Bill Franklin. Bill Franklin. Are you trying to say Ben Franklin? Yes, Ben, thank you. Guys, I should not have passed
Starting point is 00:24:55 my American citizenship test and I'm glad I didn't have to take one because, man, I would not be allowed in here. I was picturing him the whole time I said Bill Clinton. You meant Ben Franklin and said Bill Clinton the entire time? And then I couldn't remember his name. I thought it was Bill. Wait, what is it?
Starting point is 00:25:12 Ben. Ben Franklin. Fucking whatever. Bill Franklin. Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill Clinton, the science guy. If somebody showed me on the Reddit, do some fan art of Wade's money. If somebody showed me on the Reddit, do some fan art of Wade's money. You can't just get the Reddit on your side and have them excuse reality to conform to your wishes.
Starting point is 00:25:32 He absolutely can. What in God's name are you talking about? I see you're right. Have you seen the Reddit? Have you seen the hoops they jumped through? I don't go there anymore. They don't like me. They don't like me there. They don't like anyone but Wade.
Starting point is 00:25:46 It's hard to like you guys, whereas I'm immensely likable. Hey, wait a minute. No, you're not. We just proved this. I'm the bait for this podcast. You guys are the hook and the line. I lure them here. You keep them in and you reel them up so that we get to feast, boys.
Starting point is 00:26:03 I don't know what this analogy fully means, but I like it. I don't. I can't tell you why, but I don't know what this analogy fully means but I like it I don't I can't tell you why but I don't thank you for an excellent small talk session uh you both get points uh but Mark gets more points for living in reality can I have a barrel of imaginary
Starting point is 00:26:22 points yes thank you it's a small barrel but it is bigger than a bucket ha take that bucket boy but i didn't tell you how full it is anyway today's topic you'll never see this one coming because it's related to our lives wade and molly are moving they just got a new house they're moving mandy and i i i don't i think i've said this on the podcast but i'll say it like it's an official announcement mandy and i are moving to ohio we actually have a place it's official now and it i i was afraid to talk about it because mandy has a job here where we live and she had to sort that out uh but it's sorted out now so it's all good mandy and i are officially
Starting point is 00:27:01 moving back to the Cincinnati area. Yes. To be fair, everyone did know this already because the wheel landed on move to Ohio. So, yeah, well, yet when that happened, I was like, that's when the whole process started, because everything that we do on this show is real and matters. And we have to follow through on it. And we never forget about anything we say or forget to follow up on stuff. I'll give Mark two more months before he admits he's coming home. Yeah, and I have another announcement to make.
Starting point is 00:27:35 If you subscribe to Markiplier right now, you get one subscription free. So it's an amazing deal. Subscribe once, subscribe twice. Right now, Markiplier. That's a it's an amazing deal subscribe once subscribe twice right now markiplier that's a lifetime subscription youtube.com slash markiplier oh because those subscriptions are usually so expensive that's a good deal i know right i know one sub gets up no no more no more time for mark to shill his little cute little YouTube page or whatever. Wade and I are moving and I thought this would be a great time
Starting point is 00:28:07 to talk about weird real estate. Have you guys seen this? Have you guys explored this world on the internet? No, but I'm slightly uncomfortable by one of the words you used. Oh, I'm sorry. Real estate? That's two words, Wade. I think.
Starting point is 00:28:23 Is real estate two words? No, I just it feels like there's been a lot of weird lately and it's two words when i think it's real estate two words no i just it feels like there's been a lot of weird lately and it's strange that you include the word weird in front of real you're right no uh well it's sort of a broader theme you could say that this episode might be called something like weird three i hate you guys i'm not using this as an opportunity to make fun of you. I sincerely thought the weird real estate angle would be interesting. It's a whole world of content and enjoyment on the internet. It's very fun.
Starting point is 00:28:53 I love it. Do you want me to play this amazing intro? Mark, do you happen to have any sort of audio intro things that pertain to maybe stuff being weird or something? do why that oh don't well hold on here we go then have you ever felt to chill up your spine i don't know man something just feels off like you know there's something standing right behind you but you just can't turn around cut it out man you're giving me the creeps what if i told you the world was stranger than you could ever possibly imagine i've said it before and i'll
Starting point is 00:29:32 say it again i don't believe in ghosts but something just feels weird welcome to unusual oddities of an unreal understanding. I said that last time. I know I did. View discretion is advised. Yeah. Yeah, I made that just for this. I can't believe you made that for me, Mark. I really appreciate you supporting my efforts.
Starting point is 00:30:04 It's because I love you and I support you in all of your ideas. That's really nice. You're welcome. You want me to play it again? Any whoozle. Okay. Yeah. So we're three, baby.
Starting point is 00:30:17 We're talking about cool, weird real estate. Seriously, have you guys ever explored this rabbit hole, though? Have you ever seen this come up? I mean, I'm sure that Amy has shown me some pretty weird places for sale around the world uh but i would love to revisit this topic i i will oblige so a really good place to see this sort of stuff is there is a subreddit called zillow gone wild um and it's just sort of an account uh aggregation of like funny real estate ones this is sort of a a, I would say there are types of crazy real estate. And this is sort of one that's very common, where the thing that's weird about this real estate listing is the pictures.
Starting point is 00:30:57 This is like a pretty normal looking house. There's nothing extraordinary about it. But if we look through the pictures pictures and it's not super obvious in this one but if you look there's something that's a little concerning in this picture that will become more apparent as we scroll through the pictures okay uh for our non-video listeners we're sort of looking at the exterior of a house there's a woods there's a shed like a log cabin looking kind of place yeah big grass field pretty basic there's a big it's like on the side of a hill kind of thing there's a big you know there's a basement looks kind of nice
Starting point is 00:31:30 now we're looking at a kitchen decent counter space there's a refrigerator it's good counters great cabinets uh now we're looking at the kitchen from the other angle you can kind of see over into the front room area electric stove looks pretty updated yeah that was the dining room uh it's sort of next to the stairs that go upstairs now we're looking at the family room uh yeah and then this is uh the bathroom normal shower vanity type deal. Kids' bedrooms. It's a nice space. It's all ceiling.
Starting point is 00:32:15 Just the thing I might be leaving out for any non-watchers out there is, in all of these pictures, there's a man carrying a knife and wearing a Michael Myers mask in increasingly obvious positions in all of these pictures. And if you look at the very first one, I actually don't know for sure if he's in this one. Oh, is he in the window on the left there?
Starting point is 00:32:35 Oh, yeah. That's him, right? Might be. I can't tell. Might be. It's hard to say. And then if you look at this one, you can find him pretty quick.
Starting point is 00:32:43 Oh, yeah, there he is. Oh, is he behind the shed? He's over here. He's just, like, casually leaning out from behind the shed. Oh, gosh. Wait, where was he in the third picture? The staircase? This one.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Oh, he's behind the house to the right there. Wow. He's just peeking out. He's just peeping. Dude, I don't feel comfortable with the fact that I missed this for so long. I know, right? And the first thing I saw in this picture was the counter space. The counter space?
Starting point is 00:33:11 I was like, oh man, counter space? Some random serial killer outside? That's a pretty nice kitchen for a medium-sized cabin, yeah. A white mask in the window? It's a perfect combo. There's just a guy at the back door. Maybe he's trying to sell you vacuum cleaners or something okay it looks like there might be some blue in the tile there to match his shirt so it kind of brings out the color in the room anyway this is
Starting point is 00:33:33 a classic one uh would you would you do this if you were selling a house is this a good thing does this make you want to buy a house if you were if you like found this and you were really wanted this house it makes it a memorable listing. You would go see it, right? Because if anything, it's just about getting people in the door and looking at your house. I imagine that this place was sold pretty quickly, especially if you get more attention on it and people are just like, ah, ha ha. Michael Myers definitely isn't there, right? Ha ha. Well, he could only live at that one lake so you're probably fine if you lived within like the area and you it became a big meme yeah you'd want to go and like have some photos at that house what
Starting point is 00:34:12 if you went and there was an open house and the the guy was in the costume just like skulking around in the woods and you just sort of like saw him in the distance in today's world you can't do stuff like that without like putting yourself in danger so i don't know doing that Doing that for a photo ops one thing, doing that whenever real people are on, you never know what the hell might happen. So I would be more scared for him than for the person looking at the house. Unless it was me in the house, then I would be kind of freaked out and I wouldn't stay very long. But this is this this Michael Myers one is is a really funny example. But there are lots of these. There's another one that was pretty popular where the real estate agent was wearing a panda costume. I don't know if it was the seller of the house or the agent or what. It's a person in a panda costume and they're just kind of in a lot
Starting point is 00:34:53 of the shots. I don't know why, but that one doesn't intrigue me as much. That one just makes me kind of not, that would make me avoid the house, I feel like. I don't know. What, what, I guess, what character would you put in your home pictures to sell your houses? Have you ever seen, well, okay, that, a totally different subject, but have you ever seen, there's a subreddit dedicated to people selling objects on, like, Craigslist, but there is something in the reflection of things accidentally caught, and it's usually a man naked just standing there, which makes me wonder, how often do people just get home and then get naked immediately that just seems like a completely different lifestyle but and then
Starting point is 00:35:34 start taking pictures and wanting to sell things who gets entrepreneurial the more naked they are maybe they think that's the the way you're like the outfit you're supposed to wear for it so they get home they're like oh i gotta take pictures to wear for it. They get home. They're like, Oh, I got to take pictures. I better put on my, my photography outfit. There we go. Then they're like, Oh, thank God.
Starting point is 00:35:49 Now I can get comfortable. They go, they put on some like shorts or something afterward. Maybe it's like a, maybe it's like a King's invisible outfit type situation, but they think they're putting on their, their clothes that make them invisible. And then they're just standing there naked.
Starting point is 00:36:02 And they were fooled by that person who sold them the invisible clothes. And I want to be clear. This is weird, right? You guys don't get home and get naked immediately, right? No. I'm most comfortable wearing basketball shorts and a T-shirt. That's literally what I'm wearing right now. Yeah, I mean, I don't begrudge anyone who wants to be naked in your house.
Starting point is 00:36:22 That's sort of like, that's one of the cool things about living on your own like the first time I ever lived without roommates I'm pretty sure at some point I got naked and just like stood in the main you know in the living room and was kind of just like I've never done that I also don't want to buy something from somebody who I know gets naked
Starting point is 00:36:39 that sounds weird out loud I don't want to buy that from them they get naked they might have touched it while they were? I don't want to buy that from them. They get naked. They might have touched it while they were naked. I don't want that lamp anymore. You know what is a good thing to buy from someone who gets naked? Underwear.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Because they never use it. If you're buying underwear on a Craigslist, I am... Is that not normal? It doesn't make me feel good inside. I'm just trying to save a buck, man. That's fair. That's the one item that i don't know that i but you dodged my question i appreciate your uh talking point mark and i do toss a point into your bucket oh points thank you uh what character would you put into your pictures to sell your house are you telling a story is it one character is it a movie reference which what direction do you go
Starting point is 00:37:25 how does this work if i could have anyone i would get um steve from blue's clues in full steve outfit and just have him like casually hanging out in the pictures like he lives there because then the right person who gets that will be like oh my god steve lived there oh i love him it makes me feel so seen i would have shakira the caption would be you can have this house wherever whenever whenever wherever but i don't know i feel like i would just make a movie in that location and try to sell it based on the fame of the movie um but i i'm trying to tangent my way into another thing do you guys remember the movie blank check? Yes.
Starting point is 00:38:06 Yeah. The Disney movie blank check, right? Yeah. Disney and Buena Vista pictures, whatever that is. Oh, it's a Disney thing. All right. But for some reason, I know like this movie, I think of it all the time, which is so strange because it was one of so many movies that I have.
Starting point is 00:38:25 But one of the most fascinating things in the movie, and the movie was released in like 94, he made a blank check, right? Got a blank check and then put a million dollars in there. And then he bought a castle. He put a slide in there. And I'm like, what was residential prices in 1993 that this kid with a million dollars bought a castle, had servants, had a slide put in, all this stuff. And it just made me think like, man, sometimes movies just seem to get money wrong entirely. And I'm tangenting again and I'm going confidently.
Starting point is 00:39:01 Because do you remember in the, have you guys seen the most recent John Wick movies? I mean, any of them actually. haven't seen uh it's four out i've seen everything four is out for a while yeah i haven't seen four yet but i want to so in the movie they put a bounty on john wick's head right and i forget what it first was but i think the first bounty was like two million. Right. And that's a lot of money. But two million to kill the most deadly assassin in the world was two million. And it's like, OK, he's out of retirement. Maybe it's not bad. And then they up it to like, I don't know, seven or something like that.
Starting point is 00:39:40 Right. And that's a lot of money. But by this time, Johnick has killed every single person that has come after him every single person is dead dozens hundreds and they're all millionaires by the time they're attacking him already you can tell by the shit they have the cars they drive they're already filthy rich so yeah go on absolutely and it's like and but the price never goes past like 20 million dollars and by the time we get to the fourth movie, he's killing hundreds of people. Everyone mindlessly is just throwing like, I don't care what he did to those guys.
Starting point is 00:40:16 It's my turn. He's causing hundreds of millions of dollars in damage to cities. Like you had to pay that gold coin to get things like taken care of in the first movie there's bodies piling up in the streets just like the sheer monetary value of this and yet the bounty doesn't go past 120th of what blank check mansion had in 1994 they've got their whole intricate system of communication and like changing the bounties and stuff and yeah they're like all right he's killed 794 people the price has gone up by 500 000 more exactly it didn't make any sense at all and the villains who aren't
Starting point is 00:40:59 going after him for like 10 million but it goes up to 11 and they're like now hold on maybe that's my number yeah you got a villain that literally has paintings taken out of the louvre by the dozens owns them in his penthouse that's my point in all of this these people who are trying to have him killed who are putting who are paying the bounties yeah that's cheap bullshit they're trying to get a bargain murder of john wick someone is offering 20 million dollars who clearly owns multiple hundred million dollar mansion palace castle things who's in a secret society where the currency is a gold coin that buys you anything you want and all this shit and they're like oh 20 million that's enough right what does milk cost these days anyway i don't know what assassins like there was a to to spoil john wick
Starting point is 00:41:52 for a little bit not the ending of it or anything like that but to talk about so skip ahead if you if you haven't seen it yet uh bob this won't spoil any of the movie because there's a character in there that has a book and it's got a little like meter that's like starts at five and goes up to 50 right and it's his john wickometer so it's like he's he's tracking the bounty as it goes up and it's like the top is 50 million i'm like even if i was the greatest assassin in the world i would still know that I was the second greatest assassin and I wouldn't do it for 50 million dollars I wouldn't for a billion dollars I wouldn't do it because I know that there's no number that's worth it and but it's definitely not 20 million
Starting point is 00:42:37 That's what it's just like it's so sorry It's like in Austin Powers which came out in like what early when did Austin Powers come out? I had to been like late 90s as well right 97 in 97 they made a joke in there where it was like one million dollars and the number two has to go millions not a lot of money these days you gotta go higher and then he goes a billion dollars that's like yeah there you go because that's where we're at but it's just like i feel like in monetary terms some of these things don't even make that's where we're at but it's just like i feel like in monetary terms some of these things don't even make that's 26 years ago yes so now it would be a trillion dollars that's
Starting point is 00:43:13 one zoomer ago already is how old that is no that's still millennial no millennials cut off in like 1990 wasn't it i thought i thought what is it 96 cut off i thought it was 97 millennials cut off in like 1990 right on the does that make me again you uh okay millennials 1981 to 1996 so 97 would technically be genzy man i feel like every time i look up the year ranges for like every website has a different range of years and they're just like 81 to 93 is probably millennials and 94 to 2000 it's all arbitrary random crap no there's no consensus yeah because there's already because gen z is one thing but then apparently and i just look this up the next generation is called gen alpha and i'm like oh fuck we gotta watch out for
Starting point is 00:44:06 that generation the next generation is gonna be gen sigma and we're all gonna have to just be subservient to them you know i can't wait to get to gen d's gen d's these nuts i can't wait for gen ligma it's like how whenever we were graduating we were the class of 07 and all the other classes I can't wait for Gen Ligma. It's like how whenever we were graduating, we were the class of 07 and all the other classes hated us because we were 007. James Bond stuff! Yeah. James Bond stuff, guys. James Bond stuff.
Starting point is 00:44:34 We got James Bond news? No, we were the class of 007. We were the class of James Bond. Oh, I thought you were like saying that there was... Every high school in the world was like, you're graduating 2007 zero zero seven double zero seven oh i've got an idea i i don't this is news to me really like literally every double every 2007 grad i know every high school themed their 07 graduation as 007 it was like a pervasive thing that was every time we had to gather the whole school the gymnasium our class would chant 007 and like even when we were freshmen the seniors were like they're senior
Starting point is 00:45:18 senior junior junior and we were like 007 and they were like fuck that's good! And we were like, 007! And they were like, fuck, that's good. Like, they, we were hated for a very long time for that. I don't remember any of this. I'm not realizing until just now, you guys went to the same school. Wade's not telling you this is what it was like. Wade's telling you what happened in your own life. This is what it was like for you
Starting point is 00:45:40 too. I don't remember any of this. Did you not go to the assemblies we had to go to why would i go to them and i probably did we had to they weren't optional unless you took a sick day have to only really mean something unless you're a clever clever girl and i'm just saying i don't remember this being a thing at all oh god it was all was. All of our shirts were like, not all of them, I guess, a lot of our class shirts though were like 007 themed. You got class shirts?
Starting point is 00:46:09 I feel like three. Did you not get class shirts? What do you mean you have three? Where did you get a I don't have a single class shirt. From our school. What do you mean? Oh my god. I don't have any shirts. You had to purchase them. That same Milford that aren't a band shirt.
Starting point is 00:46:27 I've got one with all of our names on the back. What are you talking about? Didn't you live in a trash can or something? There were no opportunities for me to have a shirt. I wanted a shirt. Where do you think I got them? I don't! I'm asking! Who?
Starting point is 00:46:43 From the school! The, whatever, the... the what person the leaders of our class i've heard it was called but they like class leaders oh my god what happened to you mark i'm gonna give you some more points just because i feel really bad for you right now i am not joking we had a class, like a student council and shit. When did we decide that? Who was it? There was probably a ballot at like lunch or something where you could go and drop your vote in a bucket or something.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Dude, I was disconjoined from this shit and even I know about it. I remember voting for like prom king or something. You do that at prom. Class president is not prom king. It's not the same book. I don't know. I don't know what you're... We had to... We got yearbooks.
Starting point is 00:47:31 I got a yearbook. We did. And there's probably a section that shows our student council. Student council. When does that happen? I don't know. I wasn't on it. They met during lunch and or during one of the periods where not a lot of them had important classes.
Starting point is 00:47:49 Mark, it was a cool way to get out of class. Is that like in homeroom or something? I don't know how you missed this, dude. Dude, I don't know what you're referring to. We thought when Mark said that he walked into his kindergarten classroom and saw the hooks in the cubbies for the first time and his mind exploded. We thought it was just like a young learning about the world thing. There's how Mark Mark's mind explodes whenever he learns anything about how school works in America. Dude, I wish I was joking.
Starting point is 00:48:21 I do not know when this would have happened. See, that's the thing is like I can imagine. I do not know when this would have happened. See, that's the thing. It's like, I can imagine. I know that class presidents are a thing. I know that like probably there are people that have shirts that say Milford on, but I thought it was always tied to like a team sport or something because I didn't know that generally for the class you had, there was a shirt available. I don't know when you would have bought that.
Starting point is 00:48:43 I don't know what opportunity arose. There were so many senior year shirts. When would you have voted for a council? What did they do? Where did they meet? What kind of decisions were they making? What did they do is an interesting question because the answer to that is basically nothing. I do know that we voted on shirts.
Starting point is 00:49:03 They literally went around during lunch and they would like present the different shirt art concepts they had and we voted on them. What do you mean they did that? That sounds very familiar. That's the similar sort of experience that I had at an unrelated school. Were you at lunch? You didn't go to the assemblies. Did you go to lunch? I went to lunch.
Starting point is 00:49:22 I ate lunch. I went to lunch I went to lunch the entire not even just like the president or someone the entire student council is standing in front of Mark in the cafeteria sitting at his big empty lunch table by himself holding a sign and they're like Mark
Starting point is 00:49:35 Mark you sure you want to pay and Mark is just like it's pizza day oh god I mean you're not entirely wrong the antrexia got to him during that day i don't even think that's the same name you said earlier in the episode i don't remember but that does seem different somehow doesn't it see it oh yeah your memory's why should we trust wade's recollection of school when he can't even remember his own dreams properly?
Starting point is 00:50:07 Dude, I have the shirts upstairs. We didn't go to the same school. I went to that school, and I say there was no class president. I say there was no student council. There were not shirts that were sold to everybody because I don't have any of those or any recollection of it occurring, and my memory is flawless and infallible.
Starting point is 00:50:29 No retort, eh? You know what, Wade? For trying to trick Mark into retconning his own life and believing some crazy-ass lies you just made up, points, because that's weird, man. Thanks, man. That's weird, part three. That's what that is., man. Thanks, man. That's weird. Part three.
Starting point is 00:50:45 That's what that is. I'm going to find my yearbook. I'm going to show you like the student council photos and I will go grab the shirts after we're done recording this and show you the shirt. You're going to grab the shirts. Yeah, right. Yeah. I remember getting a shirt from college, but that's just because I happened to walk by
Starting point is 00:51:02 this event that was occurring in like the the commons area the field there and it was like it was the bearcat bash and i was like i don't know what the fuck is going on but they got shirts that's how college was college you would literally like be walking to class and it just so happened that like i love porcupine day was there they were like here dude have a free shirt and it was like thank you there was all kinds of weird shit i remember getting free condoms whenever i was waiting in line for pizza one day dude one time my fraternity did a piano smash yeah like shit like that happened all the time man college was weird but high school we had to vote on that shit
Starting point is 00:51:39 and buy the shirts and all kinds of stuff i don't remember i don't think it happened i don't remember i don't believe in shirts i don't believe in shirts anyway i'm gonna move us right along clean segue to what i'm gonna call the second type of weird real estate okay i'm gonna like fucking really look at it this time because i don't want to miss serial killers on the front lawn you're not gonna miss anything on this one so this is a very big house this is a very big fancy house uh it's got this big garage it's like a really this huge paper driveway all that size for a two-car garage i mean it might have like a workshop in it. I don't know. Maybe it's only two cars but it looks
Starting point is 00:52:28 like a big house with a big attached garage. There's like car stalls over here or whatever this is going on. Big glorious backyard. Look at this. Wade would probably say this is a normal size house. The freak. Dude this is like a $100,000 house. You fucking freak!
Starting point is 00:52:45 Yeah so this is like a $100,000 house. You fucking freak! Yeah, so this is like a big, beautiful house. And then we go inside the house. It's the fucking guy from Ace Ventura 2. It is! It's the hunter guy from Ace Ventura. Oh my god, it's their house. So yeah, this is a big, this is like the great room of the house. And there is a giraffe, a leopard, monkeys.
Starting point is 00:53:08 What is this? An alligator, crocodile. There's over here, there's like a wolf or something. There's a zebra. There's a possum on the wall above the wolf. I think what's more egregious than just that is how many lights are on the ceiling here. Yes. The electricity.
Starting point is 00:53:25 Like a hundred lights on a track on the ceiling. So many lights. If you're going to have all these giant, glorious, taxidermied animals, you got to have a light for each of them. Oh yeah, and they do. Two for each, actually. I got to say, even the driveway,
Starting point is 00:53:42 the driveway was a nightmare for me. The brick layout of the driveway, all the weeds that would grow, the maintenance even the driveway, the driveway was a nightmare for me. The brick layout of the driveway, all the weeds that would grow, the maintenance for the driveway, like, that would suck. Well, okay, sure. Alright, whatever. At least he didn't kill a million animals for that. What the more agrees are saying is the
Starting point is 00:53:58 elephant feet bar stools that I just noticed. Oh, that's messed up. That's pretty messed up what the fuck that it's literally a cut off elephant leg with a cushion on top for a bar stool that's weird i'm also pretty sure on the driveway photo there's the same like gorilla statue that they have in front of jungle gyms here in cincinnati there there is like a deer or something here whatever this is it's kind of fuzzy for me so it's not coming in clear for me but it looks like a to me it looks like the gorilla from jungle gyms oh that's not what i
Starting point is 00:54:32 thought it was you gotta take the multi pelt off to play pool there i like the normal couch whereas everything else is made of animal a puffy early 2000s faux leather couch. That couch. Isn't that the same couch that Corridor uses for the React series? Is this Sam and Nico's house? Is this Corridor's house? They're like, we've tested so many of our products. Oh, what a horrific picture of the elephant foot bars duels in this one.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Holy crap. I hate that. I hope all this stuff is fake. I don't think that's the point. Is that a polar bear? Polar bear. He doesn't have a Coca-Cola in his paw. I'm confused.
Starting point is 00:55:16 Oy, that is sad. That is sad. Wowee. I don't feel good about this one, man'm laughing but not on the inside i am generally i'm against killing animals for sport just as like a hobby i think that's really fucked up thing to do and i'm not if anyone who taxidermy is like a pet that dies or or you know if you taxidermy in a way where it's like this animal was dead but now i'm just you know i get that that's like a hobby and i i can appreciate that you might have an interest in that.
Starting point is 00:55:46 Taxidermy shit always freaks me out. This house is like a nightmare fest for me. I would feel so deeply uncomfortable walking through any of these rooms and like that's fine. If you hunt and you you hunt for entertainment, but also you eat every part of the animal, like you do it for food as well. I understand that. This is not that. Yeah. I don't think they ate the rest of this hippo whose head is decapitated and put on a coffee table.
Starting point is 00:56:21 Like God intended. Like every god intended uh yeah anyway so this cabela's turned into a private residence uh is is another class of weird real estate that i like to call either this inspired ace ventura 2 or it inspired this yeah the the hobby went too far i'm gonna call it the hobby went too far that's what i'm gonna call it i would rather have michael myers in my house than all that stuff like actual michael myers or guy and guy in costume michael myers funny hide behind your curtains guy with your feet sticking out guy yeah you're pretty big you could probably win in a fight he's not like
Starting point is 00:56:57 freakishly strong or anything is he i think he it's weird i don't know how it goes with some of those villains like that but i think mich Michael Myers is not like Jason is, where Jason's an unstoppable killing machine. Michael Myers is a big dude in a mask, I think. He gets his ass kicked and blown up and stuff, but he always comes back. I don't know. Then what's the difference between him and Jason?
Starting point is 00:57:17 One wears a hockey mask. One wears the Michael Myers mask. Which is like a... Isn't it like someone's skin? Isn't it a... No. Well, the mask, it was originally like a... Isn't it like someone's skin? No, well the mask, it was originally like a William Shatner mask that they got just before they were filming. But I think
Starting point is 00:57:33 it's probably supposed to be human skin or something like that. I see. Is it supposed to be a William Shatner mask that was painted white? That's what I just... Bob! Are you saying that as if that's not the thing that mark just said out loud to both of us yes can i have points yes thank you yes yes yes wait i you know what a lot of points for such a bold ass thank you i appreciate that out of pure and utter defeat
Starting point is 00:58:02 wade wade decided he needed points. I have to respect it. That's the rule. See, this is why I don't trust your memories about high school. My brain is broken because I just said that. Not a sentence prior. I thought he was doing that on purpose just to be a dick to you. I thought it was a bit.
Starting point is 00:58:23 It was. That was almost the perfect setup of mark being like well you know it was a william shatner mask and then way being like actually it was a william shatner mask that they painted white oh man i'll take the l on this one i think i'll take the no we have one more archetype to share. We really hung up on some of these other ones. But look, this house falls into the category that I refer to as special areas. So this is like a picture from inside a house. Pretty normal looking. I like that.
Starting point is 00:58:59 A little dark, but it's nice. Oh, I'm a fan of like dark paint on the walls. I like dark. It's very like a masculine decorated decoration style like yeah it's cool uh except this happens the painting swings off the wall and then a weird crazy craggly door opens into the wood paneling on the wall love that it's uh dark with red down lighting inside that's fine and there's yeah that. It's fine. And then you come inside and yeah, there's a, oh yeah, there was a gold skull right here sitting on it. That's an interesting... That should have
Starting point is 00:59:32 tipped it off, I guess. But yeah, you come in and it's like a brick situation. There's some kind of picture of like a, I don't know, it's like a Cthulhu almost kind of thing. It looks like a man with a snake biting his dick who has bowings. Let's get closer. We can't make any assumptions now. And then there's
Starting point is 00:59:47 these cool little cutouts on the wall and there's a crucifix here in definitely a place where that makes a lot of sense. In this dark brick hallway with red lighting and polished concrete floors for some reason. Ooh, that look like blood. That's beautiful.
Starting point is 01:00:04 It does look like you're kind of standing on a river of blood is yeah why are we moving six inches closer to the painting it's very ominous i'm i don't like the way this is set up oh there we go uh it is a snake fighting it's that's just it it's just a hallway that leads to that painting well then there's the light fixture up there mark let's not be too there's a chandelier because you want to have your painting be well lit which is the back of some kind of what's the that's the ass has a tail okay yeah it's a tail and those are some didn't skip leg day legs and wings and what the hell is going on with the top of this part here can't couldn't tell you uh so you know like a normal hallway anyway so yeah that's that's what
Starting point is 01:00:55 i like to call a special area go big or go home there was another one oh i kind of want to find it now and show you guys really quick there's another one this one i appreciate how unashamed these people are i and i'm not judging at all but this one is marked as not safe for work on reddit which is a strong start okay it's a this is another special places one right looks like the home alone house two-story brick house red door beautiful black shutters pool table in the gaming room dining room uh like super nice super cool big two-story family room nice big hearth beautiful uh yeah super it's a sunken i don't like that it's a sunken family room i don't like the rug that looks like they ran over an animal and just
Starting point is 01:01:42 like made a rug out of it that's fine yeah it yeah it is like a a banal skin rug kitchen looks dope very nice kitchen love the cherry wood it's very very very nice porch back deck situation love it main bedroom super cool looks like this ensuite bathroom oh beautiful sex dungeon with uh with uh what's this thing where you lock your hands and your head in there oh it's uh not the gallows uh what's it called um the stocks stockade built into the
Starting point is 01:02:15 into the bed frame and then they have the same rug I think from their other room same rug and then there's like a swing apparatus yeah more animal skin rugs strong theming. This is clearly the basement, so you just walk into the basement and this is the...
Starting point is 01:02:30 It was more of the medieval sex dungeon, otherwise very modern home. High ceilings! Yeah! High ceilings in a finished basement. I would have liked to see more modernized sex toys. You don't like the X stand for flaying... The medieval just contrasts a bit too much with the modern
Starting point is 01:02:47 anyway yeah that's uh like i you know what all i feel is respect whoever owns this house was like we could move our stuff out and you know they can pay companies to like put furniture and so they make it look super nice and so that someone who's buying the house will look and be like oh yeah that's a good fit of a king size bed. What if they're selling? And this is just how they set it up for show. We should just leave our, maybe this comes furnished. Maybe these guys are like,
Starting point is 01:03:11 ah, we're too old for this. You know what? We're going to retire to a nice condo with a little, like a little sex three season room off the back, but we don't need a whole dungeon anymore. So we're going to sell, we're going to sell this whole house furnished.
Starting point is 01:03:23 You could have all the swings and everything. We'll even clean it. I respect it. I'm sure a lot of people will look at that and be like, but you know that someone looks at that and is like, wow. I just want to see whenever you buy the house, your family comes over to see it, and you're like, well, yeah, let me show you around.
Starting point is 01:03:43 Here's the tour. Here's the bedroom. Here's this nice bathroom, the pantry, plenty of space of space uh mom come down here here's our sex swing uh look just because you wouldn't do it and i wouldn't do it doesn't mean that there aren't some people out there who's dude of all the things we've seen michael myers and that one are on the normal side in a situation where that's happened i feel like you bring your parents down there and your dad's like ah we had one just like that in the place over on the Maple Street house. Do you remember that? I would rather show off my sex swing than my Hail Satan hallway.
Starting point is 01:04:15 There's got to be something more to that hallway that's happening. There definitely should be something more to the hallway. It's some kind of thing in that hallway that's... I don't know. I would actually want to show off my Hail Satan hallway before i would show off my sex dungeon i so i'm in the opposite camp i mean personal preference that's fair because think of the review you got your sex dungeon in the basement you just like you open a door you go like come on down here's like no let me punch in the code and then you got like smoke and fog coming out of there and it's like i was all for secret door until you saw the sex dungeon i see what it is i see how it is no just this no i'm thinking
Starting point is 01:04:51 more of the satan hallway that there's if there was different stuff in like you know i'd put a different painting up maybe or you could brighten that space up quite a bit what are the two holes on the wall for what do they put there i i idolatry items i don't know you set down your sprite before you go and hail satan yeah refreshing drink i don't know look i don't know what you need what does a person need before they get down and and satisfy their spiritual needs who's to say now we just need to see like a reflection of someone like naked taking a picture of the satan picture points to mark for his bold honesty and admitting that he would not want to show off his sex dungeon thank you and also admitting that he has a sex dungeon points to wade for i don't need a reason uh anyway that i think is going to be the end of weird three we
Starting point is 01:05:37 really cover everything i was hoping to get to it got weird it did get weird but interesting well and michael myers mask is actually actually a William Shatner mask painted white. Oh, points to Wade for that. Michael Myers is painted white. Points to Mark. Interesting fact. Yes! And he wears blue because it camouflages him a bit in like the darkness.
Starting point is 01:05:57 Whereas if he was wearing like a bright yellow tee or like a Hawaiian shirt with some like khaki shorts, it wouldn't have the same effect. Interesting. Interesting. He holds a knife. Oh ah points for the fact that's the iconic look but in the movies he actually uses a variety of weapons that he finds around his victims houses oh a lot of points for a more interesting fact than mark's his mask has hair that's kind of weird that is weird points to mark and that's the cutoff no more points damn it mark earns the last points i'm gonna tally up the scores here and i gave mark a bucket of points i put some more in
Starting point is 01:06:32 that i gave him some points as we went along i gave way points as we went along i gave him a barrel of points i did say it was bigger than the bucket i neglected to mention that the barrel is the size of a small car and i think think if I look at the number of points that I actually did give to you guys, right now the score is Mark, 368 points. Wade, 11,947 points. 47, 11,947 points. It's a big barrel of points.
Starting point is 01:07:05 Mark, did you do any innovations? You said you were going to experiment with your947 points. It's a big barrel of points. Mark, did you do any innovations? You said you were going to experiment with your bucket of points. Did you happen to do any point multiplication? Anything? Yeah. So all the point coins have a number on them. So I strung them together. So it actually is like it's 1 billion trillion trillion trillion.
Starting point is 01:07:23 Oh, I see. So they say. It says it says yeah very long string of ones unfortunately for you i'm gonna go ahead and just declare that that does not increase their value in any meaningful way uh but that is a very clever invention and uh yeah you should have invested in point coin you should have you should have got in on point coin, baby. Wade is winning, and I think we all know that when there's a clear winner, when the
Starting point is 01:07:51 points have decided, there's only one thing that you can really do to end an episode fairly. Oh, fuck. I had to flip so many coins. I just want to be the one who clicks the button for once. I am doing this the fair way, okay?
Starting point is 01:08:19 No one can say it's not fair. It was fair to me. It's fair to everybody. The difference is you usually asked for it, but that not fair. It was fair to me. It's fair to everybody. Differences, you usually asked for it, but that's fair. Leading in the points, I will let you call it Wade. But because Wade is calling it, Mark, what color do you want it to be? Fair. I will take red.
Starting point is 01:08:37 Red, okay. For the color that I'm wearing. You are. Your whole frame is red. Yeah, actually, it's a good theme. It's kind of my satanic hallway. Wade is gray, Marcus red, and I am purple with pinkish flesh on the front.
Starting point is 01:08:50 Anyway, Wade, I'm going to click flip. Go ahead and call it, bud. Heads. Wow, there's a lot of lag on that. Oh! Yes! Yes! By the rules of fairness!
Starting point is 01:09:06 Wade threw this one away. You know what? You had it in the bag. You really just had to win this one last one. You dominated the whole episode, Wade. You really just had to make one more correct decision. You couldn't... You didn't have it in you. I don't blame you. It's a tough call. I didn't ask for a coin flip, Bob.
Starting point is 01:09:22 Nobody has to ask! The coin flip comes when the coin flip was ready. You know, it's pretty fair, actually. I did ask for that in several of the times when it happened. But I didn't ask for that to begin with. And that's really the part I'm mad about. Because that's the part where I lost so many in a row. Wasn't that Mark's episode?
Starting point is 01:09:41 You just rewarded the man who did it to you. Yeah, take that, Wade! It was Mark's episode where that happened rewarded the man who did it to you. Yeah, take that, Wade! It was Mark's episode where that happened, so you can suck. Man, look. That's fair. Honestly, I'm just doing this to piss off the subreddit. There were a lot of people on the subreddit who were like, I'm not even gonna watch if they do coin flips
Starting point is 01:09:57 anymore. Well, falls into your court, subreddit people. Wait, hold on. The entire hour-long episode of us talking, they're just like, what really matters is the winner. Yeah, no, it's important that it's fair and the person who deserves to win is the one who ultimately wins, Wade. That's the point of the show.
Starting point is 01:10:17 I see. Okay, that's fair. Anyway, Mark, great job. Congratulations. You have a winner's speech. I think that this is only fair because it's important that we get ahead of misinformation like Wade's, where he was talking about false realities that were occurring in high school. And I, as the winner, can declare and formally end the conversation.
Starting point is 01:10:37 There was no student council. There was no 007 chant. There was no high school shirt available during any of the years that I was there because I was there for four. I think I would have gotten at least one. I think so. Anyway, thank you everyone for believing in me. Subscribe to Markiplier. It's subscribe
Starting point is 01:10:57 one, get sub one free day for today. You deserve it, buddy. Wade, do you have a loser speech? Yeah, beware of the atrexia powder. I don't know if it's real or if it's not, but if it is... There's no N in the word you made up. It's atrexia powder. Well, beware of that, too.
Starting point is 01:11:14 I think I got the N in my brain when you guys mentioned anthrax. I think it was atrexia powder. Beware of the atrexia powder. It looks like the Stay Puft marshmallow bag, but instead of... I think the Stay puff has like a line down the middle doesn't it hold on look this up and
Starting point is 01:11:29 that's time thank you for your speech way where the powder it'll kill you are you actually looking up what a stay puff marshmallow bag looks like is that what we're doing right now that's not the one i picture what am i picturing i don't know what i'm picturing but there's a line it says antrexia up here atrexia it says powder down below the line
Starting point is 01:11:47 don't open the bag okay i thought it was a bit i'm i'm becoming increasingly concerned about this situation with wade but that's the end of the episode congratulations to mark you really earned this one thank you deserved it even uh and yeah thanks for watch listening watch listeners make sure you check out markiplier on YouTube, especially. He's really hurting for subs over there. Check out Wade at LordMinion777 or Minion777. I am Micegurm. Uh, good luck spelling that.
Starting point is 01:12:15 Some of you have done it correctly. And we probably have merch! Almost definite-may-billy have merch. Check it out, store.stracticalpodcast.com. Uh, I'm not guaranteeing anything is available or isn't available. So if it's not there, that's not my fault. And, you know, sorry. That's the end.
Starting point is 01:12:33 Thanks for listening to another episode of Stractable. As we say at the end of every episode, for some reason, podcast out.

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