Distractible - We're Getting Older

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

Pull up a chair with lumbar support and pour yourself a cup of weak tea. Because it's time for the guys to face the facts that they are getting older. But only one can be the oldest. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit Tresemme.com to learn more. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, belligerent Bob states Wade is actually amusing and that he never takes direct calls. Wounded Wade takes Node for an answer, explains blowjob stances, hip care, and boneless poop. Macho Mark admits movie-making is mind-numbing, allows Assel a pasta and his naked calendars. From vomiting on Wade to gateway irony.

Yes! It's time for We're Getting Older. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show hello and welcome back for another episode of distractible i assume your favorite podcast and if it's not well that's a mistake and we'll talk about that later my name is bob i'm gonna be your host for today because i won i deserve deserve to win. So I secured the win. I earned the win. I fought hard and I took what was mine last episode. Competing for me, the winning judge today will be the usual Mark and Wade. Hi, I just wanted to say, Bob, it was quite a performance last time. I'm impressed even now.

So much time has passed passed but it feels like it was just a few minutes ago well i'm glad we're all over it uh if you've never seen this show before it's a show where the game is different every time and it's honestly not even a game all the time uh today it will be a game i have a thing prepared that's uh pretty funny you know there's a points someone wins and then whoever wins hosts the next one. We'll see who wins this one. It's in the air. Anybody could win, really. There's no promises.

It's about who really deserves it in the end. Okay, dude. You can just say... But we always start these podcasts with a little small talk. We'll get to the game. I have a thing that we're going to do, but small talk. How's it going? How you guys been?

You know, I will say we ended last episode and i was like that was a funny bit i gotta admit that was well done that was kind of funny but like i don't know as time has gone on a little bit we haven't kind of sank in a little i was like you know i went the whole episode feeling good and like comfortable i was like i don't really have to put that much effort in and i just had a nice conversational episode it's just kind of sinking in the betrayal a little bit and kind of a little bit of a sting hey rules are rules fair's fair i don't know what you're so i don't know what you're so miffed about you're right when you're right you're right that's it that's my small talk i just wanted to you know vent a little now i feel not feel better all right cool good small talk man anyway so i have been uh

diving in deeper into lenses um but i know that people are people are lensed out at this point lenses i can't make every episode about lenses you know as much as i would like to there's got to be we only got in person for like three hours and it was all lenses i only got three hours because for some reason the time of our hangout got shortened yeah you had to get home for a lens delivery or something right i had a dinner with family that I had already made a reservation for. Merry lensmas, Mark. Merry lensmas. Listen, if it could be lensmas every day, that would be amazing and the world would be a better place.

What are you giving up for lens? Just because you can't appreciate. I'm not laughing at that. I really tried not to. God damn it. Hey, my keyboard stopped working. Never mind. Go on.

Does that stop the episode? I was going to type, but fuck me, I guess. That's fine. Hopefully it wasn't to give Wade points. I have been learning visual effects. That's why where I am, if people are watching on Spotify, they might notice that I'm also not in my office again, because once again, I am out and about working on the movie and I am doing some visual effects for it.

And I'm learning some things. I'm building new skills. And one thing I have to say about VFX is, holy shit, is it boring? My God, it is monotonous and tedious. And those people that do it don't get enough respect for what they do because, my god this stuff is did you angle your camera more am i losing my mind are you looking down at us like we're a toilet bowl more no yeah he moved he moved the laptop at some point when you were going on and on about how sad you are okay because it feels like i'm the toilet bowl and you're about to vomit on me just because you never see this perspective of me looking down on you guys i know i've never seen mark look down from anywhere step on me mark daddy don't laugh at that you shouldn't

laugh that's not worth laughing at hey i'm just giving way wade's a funny guy i'm giving him his fair due okay oh where are we going this is better for you mark if you're gonna shake us around like that can you at least hit us with a you close you buy us dinner first yeah no no no you better be far is all i gotta say you you better not be close you far you far how far are you you better stay far that's right abstinence is the way visual effects is an unappreciated art form it is a lot of tedium especially the rotoscoping aspect of it because i i didn't even realize how tedious it was because i assumed i use photoshop all the time and i cut things out of photoshop for thumbnails i use the lasso tool and i'll do it by hand and i'm like that must be how it is for visual effects and it's actually not because

the way that the visual effects softwares a of them work. Probably some of them do it slightly differently is you have to have individual points because of the way that it needs to animate from one to another. It has to actually go from either points have to move and they can't just in one instance disappear. Otherwise you would create an entire new point because it's like vector based and it's, it's very particular and I'm sure that'll change in the future and there's tools to help out rotoscoping. But at the end of the the day if you're doing a very basic thing it's click click

click click click type an effect layer that on properly I'm learning node-based workflows which I mean I don't even know if you guys know anything about node-based it's like the newer way of doing visual effects and compositing and editing and certain aspects and it's just like when I leveled up in Path of Exile I had to select different nodes as i got experience points it is actually like that in a way my teachers always told me that i knowed a lot and was there an old saying follow your nodes wherever they go oh follow your nodes follow your. I won't take node for an answer. That's what I've been up to. Wade, when did you get so darn funny?

I feel like I spent so much time and effort just trying to not laugh at you and be mean all the time. I never realized how funny it was. If you come down to my level, you take the elevator down to Wade level jokes. You find that it's funny all the time, but you have to be down here. You can't look down from the top. You have to join me on this level. Where's my compliments? Mark, you've always been funny.

Honestly, it's a little boring. I'm sorry. Is there a saxophone on the wall behind you? Not that I'm not interested in building up your confidence. He's staying with Kenny G. There's no reed in it. I think it's a legit saxophone, but I don't think there's a reed in it I think it's a legit saxophone But I don't think there's a reed in it I just want to say that's technically mouth trumpet So not even close

Oh that's mouth-a-net Mouth-a-phone Mouth-a-phone Honestly, Mark, that sounds I mean it sounds kind of boring but interesting in that you're learning about how the sausage is made and that you're you're doing it on the movie which is fun i only tried to start a rebellion day two but it's fine i really did how many times have you thought to yourself i'm i can think of a better way to do that i do that

every single time i try something new i literally do it's a problem i do it every time and then i'm 20 feet deep in a hundred lenses the professional vfx artist sits you down looks over your shoulder and is like i've been doing this for eight years professionally years went to college i'm i actually helped design this specific software mark is like that doesn't seem like the right way to do that. But we could stack the beds if we just use a coat hanger. I'm going to think on it, and I'll let you know what I come up with, guys. But we're going to rebuild the wheel for you.

There is something about it, though, that makes a lot of sense. It's visual effects artists don't get audio when they're working on something, which seems crazy because so many effects are audio-based. They can work with the audio files, but most of the software, Nuke especially, doesn't have a means to play audio back as you're viewing the thing, which is something that I do want to incorporate. But DaVinci Resolve, which if people didn't know, I've switched from Premiere to Resolve, and I recommend everyone do it has fusion which is basically after effects

built into it but node based uh so it's not based in the same way nuke is but because it's in da vinci you can have the audio they're coming for me have you gotten pretty good with da vinci oh yeah yeah i i've gotten faster than i was at premiere in da vinci now i don't know the other aspects with like fusion and fairlight when are you coming to cincinnati next because if you know the da vinci code we should get together that's a different thing mark small talks over we didn't have any well oh you know what i have ladies and gentlemen mostly gentlemen because you're here and you're going to be playing this game i have stacks of cards and oh this is i know exciting poker distractible style this is a thing that mandy actually found it's a party game it's it's hard to put my finger on exactly but it just seemed

like a thing that we should cover on this show uh and just you know just play it it's called you're getting older i think there's an i think there's an implied er on there it's just a game about getting older and you know guys we're not getting any younger in fact you could say we're getting older the way this works is there's on each on each side of each card there's an old prompt but there's also a redeem prompt so as an example this one this one you're old if you still say oh snap i say i say oh snap enough that i would say that's in my vernacular do you guys think that's in wait do you say oh snap i don't know i've heard wade say oh snap but i guess bob i guess maybe i've heard you say it more i definitely say it enough that i would count it for me do i say someone out there

let me know if i say that i know i say oh shit oh crap those are all very similar but anyway is it oh snap in the way that it's intended back in the day i guess like in early 2000s like oh snap back in the early that cannot be back in the day is it it is now look this is whatever we say it is wait i want to ask you a question hang on this is a demonstration okay wait when you were growing when we were growing up you remember when the radios would play the oldies right yes and it was songs from like the 70s and 80s and we grew up in what decade i don't want to play anymore bob you just go on with your thing it turns out the game is actually called You're Getting Sadder. So if you do the thing, the old thing, you gain a point.

But if you do the redeem thing, which on this card it is, you romanticize your life. If you do the redeem thing, you don't gain the point. The first person, well, I don't know if I want to set a limit. I'm just going to say we're going to accumulate points. More points, more old, more old, bad. Okay. Bad, lose. All right.

So you don't want points. We're just going to go. I have a lot of cards here, and they have a lot of things on them. How bad are we going to feel at the end of this episode? We haven't even started, and I feel bad. Anyway, let's begin, shall we? You're old if you take selfies from above. What if you don't take selfies?

I don't take selfies. Ah, but see, but you take, not to say that you take selfies all the time, but when doesn't ever come up where someone's like, well, let's take a quick picture before you go or something. How do you reach out to take a picture? Because I definitely like. Oh, you know what know what i have i've heard of this it's like it's a divide between millennials and gen z gen z uh like i've i've actually seen more commonly say take low angle

selfies as opposed to taking a high angle because when we grew up yes it was taught that it's more flattering from up high and i've always actually i've always been curious about that, but I can't say that I don't do it. I think I still default. It's probably more midline, but I think it is. Is it better to be in the giving the blowjob stance or getting the blowjob stance? I don't think. I don't like that way of phrasing it.

Either way is bad in that scenario for what we're doing. Is it better to be, I drop my keys or a spider web now that's an interesting and unrelated question if i ever heard one i don't i do straight on i don't do down or up i go horizontal i don't even remember the last well i definitely i'm just gonna say i definitely do up by default and mark you were saying that you you think you do that well okay if i go to my instagram if someone just tossed you a phone that was in selfie and you were just like all right i would i would definitely the thing is when i group picture it goes up just because i'm trying to get everyone in it's harder when it's slow yeah try to get the wider perspective yeah if i had to go to evidence

if i had to go to evidence on my instagram this is the last selfie i took and it's not above the eyeline we have a bad connection so it looks like you've censored your photo to me that's not helping on us it probably looks perfectly clear to everyone else technically speaking that's the last selfie i took oh but that's a that's not even a i guess that's a mirror selfie i don't know what qualifies You can't really take a high angle mirror selfie anyway, but. Yeah, because I don't take selfies really. At the end of the day, we're the ones who have to go to bed knowing the truth in our heart of hearts.

So I'm going to let you guys judge your points. Even this one with my nose broken, I guess I take selfies. Pretty much I usually do mirror selfies but it's always it's always even it's i wouldn't say this is low angle though yeah i do even ones too which is not above so i guess we're not we're not old in that well i'm fat so i do high angle selfies okay it helps you don't want to see all of this action anyway i don't know how you ain't like my hand can't hold my phone too high it'll just fall out of my hand that's not a good way to hold a phone no you don't you're using the on-screen button to take a selfie like a sociopath there's another way you hit the volume key you monster you hold it side on side

and you hit the volume you could do that that's an old point for Wade for a different reason. I also press the button on the screen. Sometimes, but for selfies, yeah, because my pinky and my finger are holding the phone and my finger's not over by the volume button. All right. That's not an old point, I guess. Whatever. I'm taking that. I'm going to be honest, and I'm taking that.

But you get a redemption. I get a redemption if I get anxiety when someone calls instead of mess oh fucking never call me ever never I don't care almost what's happening in the entire world never call my cell phone yeah I don't I don't remember the last time I've actually answered a call well that's a redeem for me because god jeez I get nervous when someone calls. I usually think someone's dead, but like I don't mind calls. This one will require looking through your phone. I know for a fact I haven't done this.

I think Mark's the only one who might have done this and it would be sarcastically. What is it? You're old if you have a duck face selfie on your phone. I definitely have it way back. There's no doubt about it. I found one. have it way back there's no doubt about i found one when my face was swollen after my wisdom teeth i have this that's not you oh also that's not i don't think that's a duck face i'm pretty sure yeah that counts that counts is that a duck face i think maybe all right that's a duck face for

win oh god look at my hairline. It's got a bunch of other things going on, but I'm going to say that's a duck face. I definitely, somewhere here, if not this one, there definitely are, but it would be ironically unless it's not. Do you want to count that as a point even if it's ironically?

I think I have to, right? Well, you can redeem yourself if you have a selfie from a low angle on your phone. That's apparently, that's a thing you said, Mark. That's a very, that's a very young person thing to do. If I have one? How low does it have to be to count as a low angle? Like below, below head level.

Like you're looking down at the phone. Does this count? I would say that's pretty even. I think you're just kind of hunchy but the ceiling's there i'm clearly looking down uh that's true that's true that's true so i know i have all right selfies from low angles for sure i found one all right well no one's old does this make me old or young to have done this to myself wait i looked up at the wrong time what what did i what did i just see what blur of nightmare what is happening that was for a

charity event um all i got to do my makeup oh kek w and what is that for you beef sack queef sack what's on your face i might might say beef sack. I can't tell. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today.

Ooh, French lavender soy blend candle. I told you HomeSense has good gift options. Hmm, well, I don't know. Mom's going to love it. She'll take one sniff and be transported to that anniversary trip you took to San Tropez a few years ago. Forget it. She complained about her sunburn the whole trip. It's only $14.

$14? Now that's a vacation I can get behind. Deal so good, everyone approves. Only at HomeSense. All right. deal so good everyone approves only at home sense all right well we're never gonna finish at this rate you're old if you rank your top friends on your myspace page who has a myspace you know what i did do that i'm pretty sure you had to right that was like a feature you kind of had to do yeah as far as i know you had a top friends and if you didn't do it it was just whoever you were friends with like first or whatever i don't know i didn't have a myspace i went from zanga to facebook all right wade well i think you and i are in trouble because the redemption for this one is you're not old if you

love espresso martinis which i think espresso martinis are fucking gross i can't stand any kind of coffee so uh i'll just take the old point well it's a point for me and wade because god dang it you're old if you felt the anxiety of trying to get your movie returned to blockbuster in order to avoid a late fee i was a i was a kid and we did get blockbuster stuff, but I was too young. I never gave a shit. I was too young. I never had anxiety about it either, but I do remember my pre-teen, early teenage years trying to get, like having to return stuff and returning something to check something else out. I don't remember there being anxiety with it.

What's the redeem, just in case? I'll do a redeem just in case. We don't have this one. The redeem is you live with your parents. You're young if you live with your parents, which isn't even really that true anymore uh you know what i should have vetted these cards better but i'm gonna try i like this one you're old if you know what this is and it has a picture on it i know what that is i know what that is do you not know what that is wade or i if i do if i do i just can't make it out so it doesn't look familiar to me.

Okay, well, when we say what it is, if you recognize it, it still counts. It's a picture of an overhead projector. That's what it's called. I do know what those are, yes. But they don't use those anymore. Not even at all. Even when we were in school, I think, not that I'm dismissing this, but I think everyone

knew that that shit was old as fuck because they would wheel it out and dust would roll off of it in waves. Remember the teachers had to come with their plastic sheets and slide it underneath and reflect it. That was cool. And then you could write on it in real time. Yeah. Yeah.

She could mark out with her marker. Oh, yeah. No, that was the best. We used to have to come up to the projector and write our answers and people would see our answer and make fun of us if we were wrong. It was so big up there on the board. All right. Well, that was the best. We used to have to come up to the projector and write our answers and people would see our answer and make fun of us if we were wrong. It was so big up there on the board. All right, well, that's trouble. Anyway, for that one,

God, I hope one of you guys gets this redemption. You are redeemed if you've ever signed off an email with Hasta La Pasta. Two points. You know what? Two points. I'm changing my iPhone default signature to Hasta La Pasta. Hasta La Pasta.

Hasta La Pasta sent from my iPhone X. If you're out there and you do sign off of emails with Hasta La Pasta, please let me know in the subreddit. You're old if you refer to ending a call as hanging up the phone. That's a good point. That's a good point. We all get that one, I think. Just hang up already. Yeah,

hang up the phone. Is there a new way to refer to it? Because it's kind of like, you know, how a save icon is still a floppy disk, but people don't know anymore that it's a floppy disk. It's still that. Yeah, no, we all get that one. But we might get this redemption. You're redeemed if you can explain to me what is doge that's not even that old okay yes i think we can all explain that one right i think so i'm not sure this doesn't have like a correct answer on it or that's not even that young is what i'm saying

that's that's not even that new yeah that's that's an that feels like an older meme at this point i bet we're i bet we're gonna give a definition for what we think that is and it's gonna be wrong to the to like people younger than us it's the what what do you guys think it is i mean it's the shiba inu is the originator but it's like yeah the dog like the dog face like the came from a meme doge coin became a huge thing but doge in general as far as i know refers to that dog well doge coin was supposed to be like a meme but then it actually took off for a little bit it came from the advice animals meme right that was like where doge the shiba inu doge thinks all right yeah it was like the dog with a well okay that's a redeem for us okay yes i wish it was a feature on phones that when you slam it

down it would end the call i wish that was still a thing. That would be. Fuck you. Bye. Did you hang up on me? I heard the slam. That should be the feature. I will see you at work in the morning or your ass is fired.

Because that's what I mean. Not that I ever did that. I never called anybody on when phones were able to be slammed down. Oh, I hung up some phones like angrily. I've definitely done that. I've never done that i've never done that but i mean i wish i still could just i mean people have thrown their phone to break it and you know even in that moment you're like it's i know it's gonna break i'm so angry this is worth

it why the fuck did i do that but if it actually ended the call too instead of bye that's a week there was something satisfactory about hanging up like an old... I remember my grandparents had a rotary phone, and I loved getting to use that thing. That was fun. Old. Old. Old. Anyway.

Hey, Mark, I got really bad news for you. What? You're old if you know what the save icon looks like i can't fucking believe he just actually said that on your own wait you you knew you know what that looks like right yeah yeah i assume i assume i feel like i feel like because of that i'm unredeemable in that aspect why do the funny ones always have easy redemptions all right you're redeemed on this one no i feel like i disqualify because i i feel like i predicted it therefore it has to be my point i that is like that is like an extra point or something so you get the point but i'm sure we can all you're redeemed if you can name a billy eilish song who doesn't billy eilish is

incredibly famous and and popular and not oh oh wait can you not wait wait wait can you not name a billy eilish song i could name a billy eilish snl skit that might be the name of a song what's the skit called i don't know what the skit's called, but it's the little machine, like, she's like a hostess at a hotel. Oh, no, that's not. And they're going through the different products, like bagged soap and all that. Oh, never mind.

I don't know any of her songs. I don't know any of her songs. I'm not a musical guy. The bad, bad soap. Come on. No, the SNL one counts, right? Come on. It's the bad soap. All right, well, Mark, what's a billy eilish i was gonna

say bad guy but i feel like that got taken so i mean that's that count you brought that up i knew what you were referencing so oh i was thinking bad guy uh-huh i'll just give myself a fucking point can you name can you name another one mark uh i'm trying to remember it because i've listened to many it doesn't matter he, he brought up bad guy. I'm going to count that. But he was unredeemable on that one. So he still got the point. So I got the old as well as you.

Why do I have to know Billie Eilish music? I would, anyway, the Billie Eilish song I know because I've been listening to it lately is What Was I Made For? The song from Barbie. What was I made for? Did you guys see unrelated? Did you guys see the song?

The Ryan Gosling song, the Ken song won an award instead of the what was I made for song. And they showed Ryan Gosling in the crowd when they were

like, the winner is this, the Ken, whatever the hell song. And Ryan Gosling was like, oh, because he was like, no, the other song should

have won guys. The song I was thinking of was therefore i am and if i even hummed the song i would have known the title it's one of the things i've not seen barbie yet all right this one i got i'm curious about i'm i'm taking a point on it but uh you're old if you own a physical calendar not on your phone or anything but like you own a physical calendar, not on your phone or anything, but like you own a calendar that you would hang on the wall or something like that. I don't think I do.

I have Simone's everyday electronic count, like habit calendar. Do you have calendars of you naked, man? That's also true. You are redeemed from owning a physical calendar if you can name a TikTok dance move. The Scooty Booty. from owning a physical calendar if you can name a tiktok dance move uh the scooty booty i think i know the name but i don't know if it's the correct name of the dance move that tiktok dance where it looks like you're running but they're like moving sideways is that a dance move though and it's that song where it's like i'm a pimp named slick back pimp

named slick i think that dance move is called the slick bag okay yeah it's that's like a tiktok dance trend i think technically i wouldn't know the name of anything so i don't think i can redeem this one i don't need to redeem but can i name one and see if it counts is the gritty is that famous from tiktok i don't think i know a bunch of athletes do it but i think it got i don't think it started on tiktok did it it may be well don't worry guys this one's not going to go well for us you're old if you've hurt yourself by doing nothing at all yeah fuck i think that's the point for all three of us i'm not even gonna let you say when we started like last episode was like man woke up and my hip is just hurting for no reason yeah that's a bad look for us i think it's like extra points if it's your hip you're redeemed if you have absolutely no idea what you want to do with your life

my eyeballs are gushing with purpose i've got purpose shooting out of my butt i got so much purpose i feel like it's tough for us this deep into a career to say that we don't have any idea what we're doing well the trend right now is to retire so after we retire in six months then we got to figure all out over again guys i'm actually gonna quiet quit the podcast just don't show up whenever like, Bob, where are you? There's no answer. All right. Oh, man, these are not nice. You're old if it takes you multiple days to recover from a night out of heavy drinking. Oh, man, I don't drink.

I don't go heavy drinking anymore. Yeah, I think that's where I'm at, too. I can't remember the last time I drank more than like a drink or two i think we all get an old point for not even drinking enough to answer this question properly here's the other thing though even whenever like i had like a three or four month stint where i went out and was like drinking kind of heavy with with jesse for a little bit even then i never took multiple days to recover it was only ever how long ago was that days to recover it was only ever how long ago was that 12 years well you weren't old then were you now that you're the age of a sixth grader older than you were then okay you know i looked like you guys did then the way you look now so all right oh hey you can redeem yourself on this one

if you've stayed up past 1 a.m. at least once in the past month. Well, I think we've all done that. Dude, every night. Well, actually, no. Mark isn't early. Narc, Mark. Narc. Narc, Mark isn't early better.

I pulled all-nighters, and that could qualify. Being able to actually do that, to pull an all-nighter, I think basically meets the qualification. I would say that's a redeem. I can't take this redemption because I literally am the oldest person in terms of bedtimes. I go to bed at 930. Ooh, this is an interesting one. I don't have this one, but I think you do. You're old if you worry about heartburn.

I still magically, knock on wood, don't ever get heartburn, generally speaking. It's genetic, and all of the male relatives on my dad's side have died from heart problems so yeah i worry about heart stuff heartburn that's up there that's not what heartburn is that's it's completely different and still whenever you have anything going on with your heart and like you're everyone's dying of heart attacks it's like as soon as you have something in your chest it's like heartburn or death but also heartburn itself sucks and i do get it like all the time so So, yeah. Do you get heartburn, Mark? Thankfully, no.

I have sometimes moments where there's acid reflux, but I can always pinpoint it to either like I was already feeling sick or like something else was going on. But no, I can eat whatever and I'm fine. Good news for you, Wade. Yeah, baby. You're redeemed on this one if you know what Discord is. I just shouldn't have even written the point down. That's not... Ah, erased

that point. When I was when we were making this movie, I kept saying to the post-production house, I was like, yeah, we're gonna use Discord for this. And they're like, but we have Slack. And I go, yeah, Slack sucks. We're gonna use Discord. And they're like, but what's Discord? I was like, it's but what's discord obviously it's better trust me

it's better they added a feature on slack called huddles where you can get in a group and talk to each other in slack and i'm like jesus christ but you're old if you refer to your pet or pets as fur babies what is that not cool to do anymore don't young people do that too very millennial and uncool to do come on i would not say i technically say fur baby but i do refer to lexi as our baby quite a lot molly and i say literally the phrase fur baby all the time i'm gonna give myself the point on that because that's very that's a very millennial thing i absolutely never called chica your fur baby not for a baby i i usually also refrain from like using any kind of like child vernacular i i usually i usually make

it very clear to chica that i'm i'm your owner like that's i actually do that a lot i own you i don't do that that's a joke i i have to say there's a redemption on this well so no point for mark but points for me and wade the redemption on this one i didn't understand the first time i read it just now but i think i know what it is uh you're redeemed on this if you have a middle part that's a tough one to call for wade but i'm gonna guess you wouldn't a middle part yeah well so i thought it meant like the middle of your body it means that your hair is parted in the middle a middle part as opposed to a side part in your hair what do you guys think what do you guys think i mean there's definitely a gap in the middle and hair going on both sides

of it because i don't know how wide the gap has to be for it not to count as a part in the middle but i mean okay by the clearest definition his hair is parted in the middle, but... I mean, okay, by the clearest definition, his hair is parted in the middle. My hair is parted like the Red Sea, baby. I don't... I'll just take the fucking point. It doesn't specify why... I'm assuming gray bald hair doesn't redeem me. I'm gonna take that point back.

You're redeemed, Wade. I'm adding it. That's a very cool middle part you've gotemed wade i'm adding it that's a very cool middle part you've got going on that's quite the hairstyle you're old if the laughing crying emoji is on your list of most frequently used ones i would say open up uh like tech like yeah i mess have is it i messenger apple messenger whatever the Messenger? Whatever the fuck it's called. If it's like one of the first four, is that bad for me? Yeah, no. So I have crying laughing, but it's in column five.

It's after toilet and after biting lip, sex face, and down arrow. How far up does it have to be? I have heart, cry, hands up in the air like, uh-uh. Fingers crossed, laugh, cry. Oh boy. boy mark why are you laughing i have

only three frequently used ones it's finger pointing which is weird because i don't use that much it's palm like this it's palm like this and the last one is water polo i have no idea why i don't fucking know what kind of conversations do you have you hand me the water polo ball i don't know i thought mine were weird yours are just fucking what i would, Wade, that's a definite yes for you. So technically, I have 30 frequently used emotes, and it is in there, but it's way down there. Does that still count? I have 30 as well. I'll take it.

I'll take it. Including both points. I have points in both directions. You're pointing every witch away. I don't need the water polo guy, but I'll point at everything else. your way i'm pointing i don't need the water polo guy but i'll point at everything else wait we're redeemed if the sparkle emoji is also in our list of frequently used ones can you tell me what that is nope no idea we're totally fucked sorry i don't know what that is so nope don't have it we're old we're old as shit when oh this is interesting you're old if you literally can't

start your day without coffee i don't do coffee at all yeah i never drink coffee i hate coffee i drink a lot of coffee too much coffee do you are you like a wake up get the coffee like how essential is that to the start of the it's every day mark gets a point it's, that's me. Redeem him if he mixes it with Red Bull. No. Oh, man. I really hope you get this redeemed, Mark, because you're redeemed if you drink the booch. I hate.

If you consume kombucha. I hate kombucha. You are redeemed, Mark. Do you like kombucha with your brew, bro? Bro, have you tried this new organic kombucha? Kombucha with your brew, bro? Bro, have you tried this new organic kombucha? Kombucha with your brew, bro? Have you ever had a hoochie booch? I've had it.

I don't like it. We're old if professional athletes are basically all younger than us now. They definitely are. Yeah. They absolutely are. Their primes are definitely ending around our age. But we are redeemed if we use the word sus. Oh, yeah.

All the time, actually. I even have an emote for sus. All right. Here's the thing. I actually dislike streamer. I feel like I use it ironically, though. Like, that's kind of sus. That's a problem.

That's the first step. It's gateway irony. You start using it ironically, and then you start using it in all your vernacular. So I remove myself from the equation because I find all of those streamer slogans. I hate let's go. I hate let's go. Oh, do I say let's go all the time? Let's go!

Let's go! I hate it so much. I can't deal with it. Is it cooler if I say it at weird, inappropriate times? I'll be like james can you bring me can you bring me the puzzle piece with the dog on it and then he like he like waddles over and hands me a puzzle piece with a duck on it and i'm like it's an animal let's go i use it whenever i wipe and the toilet paper so clean it's like let's go

molly we're gonna be late let's go no i i know i know i'm just trying to be opposite of things but it's just like when when like among us is happening and sus was floating around because you're old man yeah i'm an old hook a fresh voice can speak to you and open your ears and your mind to new views and new perspectives. The call of the wild, a crescendo of culture. Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at Michigan.org. So let's be clear.

When it comes to shipping internationally, can I provide trade documents electronically? Mm-hmm. The answer is FedEx. Okay, but what about estimating duties and taxes on my shipments? How do I find all the... Also FedEx. Impressive. Is there a regulatory specialist I can ask about? FedEx. Oh.

But let's say that. FedEx. What? FedEx. Thanks. No more questions. Always your answer for international shipping. FedEx. Where now meets next. Oh man, this one's kind of mean. The others haven't been?

No. This one is particularly mean, I feel like, but we'll see. Hit me! We're old if we've got one of those weird, super long eyebrow hairs. And it counts whether or not you trim them, but just, like, do you get those? Does that count? There's a couple, like, little longer ones there. I would say that's merging on super long i don't think so but i will say a long time ago i remember waking up one day and there was an enormous like three inch long white hair this is like when i was in high

school out of your eyebrow out of my eyebrow and i was like what in the fuck and and i pulled on it and it was literally attached to me so i had to i pulled it out and i was i was i was like a teenager at the time so no no because i heard stories that my dad's hair went gray when he was like in college so no it can't be i turned out fine i uh when i started growing my beard i apparently had a nose hair that grew out because i shaved my mustache and my beard. And I was like, where's this long hair cover? And I went to pull it was like inside my nose, but it was really long. I was like. So I had one of the nose hairs.

All right. Don't worry, Wade. We can be redeemed if we own a modern Polaroid camera. That's funny that that's a young thing now, but I totally get that. I feel like that's kind of a millennial thing too, though, is... I guess. It transcends. Do any of my vintage cameras count or did that make me older?

Does my 1970 Minolta lens count as making me young? All just out of point. God damn it. I want to do one more. This is going to tell me about your childhood. And this one is for double points because fucking why not you know we're old if we know cursive okay man you don't have to be good at it they don't teach they don't teach that anymore not really no what are these fucking kids doing it's no wonder they're all dumb and making why do we need to learn cursive

ever in your life have have you ever written in cursive outside of a school assignment? I sign cursive all the time. Yeah, a signature is one thing. You don't need to even, you don't have to sign in cursive, technically. You could just write anything you want. A signature isn't even good cursive. You could just, it's honestly a better signature if it's worse handwriting most of the time, because it's cool.

I not only still could write in cursive, I prefer cursive. You prefer triple points. You prefer cursive? Redeem me, redeem me, redeem me, redeem me. You prefer cursive? I think it looks nice. God, good. Cursive is annoying and stupid.

I love the aesthetic of a nice print like print text my brother has the greatest handwriting of anyone i've ever known he has he's an artist of course so he has extremely precise print like writing style it is gorgeous cursive just flows man you don't have to lift up the pencil well so that's double points to all of us because we all know it but one of us likes it which is wrong uh but we can be redeemed if we call our friends cis girlies or fam two points or three for me like i'll say what's up fam like jokingly but never like really yeah i don't i don't use any of those words in non-cringy ironic ways yeah i don't that's not really a word i use if we're giving way triple points for preferring cursive which i feel like is fair and also justified dude that gets me to double digits if we do that i I don't know how you do math, but the score that I have, all three of us tied at nine

is what I have. There was one that I gave myself a point for that you took it away. I don't remember which one, but there was one where I was like, I'll give myself a point. You said not to. So, well, you know what? I had a whole convoluted thing, but you did my job for me, Wade. Wade has 10 points, which makes Wade the oldest. Mark and I are basically babies fresh from the womb.

Wait, aren't I actually older than both of you? It doesn't even matter. You were objectively older than us because of the test we just took, and you passed it or failed it, depending on if you care or don't care that you're old now. Let's be honest, Wade, you didn't have good chance,

but I was gonna, I was gonna toss it up in the air a little bit and let you guys fight it out. But you, you confessed and I will accept, I accept your confession. All of this because of fucking Billy Eilish. All right. Well,

congratulations, Wade. Don't break a hip when you're climbing up onto the lectern to make your loser speech, you old piece of garbage. That's kind of sus, fam. Calm, it's too late. Calm down. That's just weird.

Congratulations, Mark, for being just a hair younger than Wade. Hell yeah. God, that's almost a technicalities difference. But it counts, baby. Everyone, listen. None of us is really better than the other two here, okay? Everyone needs to be real careful when we're sleeping tonight. don't sleep in any weird positions or you won't be able

to use your arm for a couple days watch out when you get up out of bed it's very dangerous and uh if i sleep on my back my uvula grows congratulations spark wait do you actually want to give a loser speech yeah uh take care of your hips everyone because for some reason you might wake up in your mid-30s and just find one really hurting one day. Oh, that can happen. And it does. I can't believe this is the same day I bitched to you guys about my hip. It's unfortunate timing.

I do have to give that to you. Truly unfortunate. Congratulations, Mark. Young Mark, should I say? No, speech? Speech? I know I seem young at heart, and it's true now. But hey, don't worry about being young.

Don't worry about being old. Worry about being timeless. I think we really resonate with the kids, you know? I think we're all young at heart. I feel better about myself just pretending that that's true. So congratulations. Thanks for playing the game. And I'm sure everyone's going to see the title of this episode and

immediately rush to the subreddit, tell me it's a repeat. But guess what? It's not. Unless we already played this game and I just forgot, which is possible. I'm not going to... Oh, we played last year's edition. This is a new one. No merch. Sorry. If you do see a merch site, it's not us. Don't do that.

Wait for ours. It's coming. Mark is MarkPlyer on the internet. Wade is LordMinion777 or Minion777. I am MySkirm. We all do other stuff, but this is really the best thing I think any of us do or have done, so you don't need to go anywhere else. Just come back for more of this. This is the only

thing that matters. This is all you need. They say that love is all you need, but that's not true. Podcast out.