Distractible - What I Want

Episode Date: May 22, 2023

A lighter turn from last episode, today the dudes dive into what they hope the future holds for civilization 100 years from now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built-in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah. Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca.

This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH- ph balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils so whether you're going for a run or just running late do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't find secret at your nearest walmart or shoppers drug mart today good evening gentle listener and welcome to Distractible. This week, Immortal Wade asks the gents to pull back the four schemes of time and space to gaze into the undiscovered country. Sticky Bob prophetically predicts dystopian digital slavery and USBB's 1.0.

Malefluent Mark bemoans the complexity of computing and lords second Life over Jujitsu Zuck's madverse. From Thunderbation to Frankenstein's steaks, yes, it's time for What I Want. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm today's host, Wade, and I'm keeping the host today. And as always, I'm joined by my friends Mark and Bob. Hello guys. Hello. I'm waving. That's for the viewers, not for the listeners. I'm waving too. That's the people we care about the most, the ones that look at our faces. They're more important.

They are. If you're new here, we have video. You can watch us on Spotify. You're probably watching us on Spotify. Uh, there's also the show where we, uh, I don't know, one of us hosts talks about whatever we want, assigns points, whoever has the most points wins, or leaves, I don't know. It doesn't ever really matter, and it never makes sense, and it's- but it's always incredibly fair. Definitely always fair. You got that right. Yes. Very fair. How are you guys doing? R're so great what's on the

left there mark you seem like you're very interested what what are you talking about oh nothing you know just uh is it a really good wall oh no i bet our faces are over there right he's got that window open where we can see each other oh you just can't stop looking into our eyes uh-huh i'm looking right at you by your eyes and and my forehead that's good just making sure uh i'm doing i'm doing great i'm doing excellent um yeah i got two almost three i'm gonna say three nights of good sleep in a row wow it's a new record yeah that's awesome the little man the baby is doing good and he's a little. Wow. It's a new record. Yeah, that's awesome. The little man, the baby is doing good. He's a little fussy, but he's sleeping more, which makes me want to cry a little bit with joy.

I just couldn't be better. Is this your first proud parenting moment? I'm not proud. I'm just relieved. And somehow I'm still tired. Even though I got like eight hours of sleep, I woke up and I'm still just like, oh, what happened?

I feel like a man screamed at me all night, even though he didn't. Muscle memory, your body just feels like it's being screamed at and woken up. Dude, that's the crazy thing about having kids. A kid, a baby, okay? I hear his screaming like wherever I am. Like right now I'm in a room in our backyard, right?

It's like a detached office. I faintly in the back of my like hearing and consciousness i swear to god i hear him screaming from the other room right because anytime we're all hanging out as a family and and i'm like i'm gonna go to the bathroom and i leave the room he takes that opportunity to be like it's just me and mom time to go fucking crazy and starts crying and whatever and i come back and mandy is like ah so every time i'm not in the room with them or wherever he is i in the back of my mind i'm just like is that him is he crying is that crying and it happens in my dreams and everything like just everywhere i go

now i'm just like is that james crying at the mall is james at the mall crying somewhere it sounds like you're like slipping into just madness like your last bit of strings of holding on to reality are slowly being cut i mean from what i've heard that's a pretty apt description of uh parenthood so it feels good guys you should do it yeah come on yeah we'll get right on that water's fine jump on in just a little bit and it's just in my imagination really or it's not but you can never tell you have to check so that's where i'm at i'm doing great everything's great guys good good about you mark i have a new company to rant at oh oh boy hold on let me check sponsor

lists uh yeah go for it okay yesterday i was angrier than I've been in a very long time because I'm currently in the process of the organization phase of editing the movie. And so to do that, there's a lot of data. There's a lot of data, like 90 terabytes worth of data that needs to be handled. And that's a ton of stuff. So I need a very special drive. Well, not a very special drive, but I need a drive that can have a lot of hard drives that can be in a RAID array and stuff like that. And it's just like, it's complex, but there's plenty of solutions out there. So this was one company called OWC and the drives

that they make are great. They work. I will say that straight up. They work. There's nothing wrong with them inherently in terms of how they function, the form and stuff like that. However, and maybe this is my ignorance, but I got them and I was able to use my MacBook to be able to transfer files over. It was like the hub for that because i was preparing things to go towards my main computer which is a pc a windows computer um with a lot more editing horsepower than my macbook right uh so i got what was called the thunder bay 8 and i thought originally the problem was that it was the the hard drive that i was given was formatted for mac right there's a different file system the and i was like because when I first plugged those hard drives into my computer, it didn't read. And

I'm like, oh, it must be a different file format. I need to get a new one and then put it into XFAT and then copy everything over. Right. So I got this thing called the Thunder Bay 8. And on the page, I had to double check this after I got off the call with customer service yesterday, because I was like, am I crazy? Am I am I am I just stupid in my execution of this? Because I go to the Thunder Bay 8 and it says 8-Bay Thunderbolt parentheses USB-C storage solution, right? Okay. But Thunderbolt is a proprietary Apple connector. It's a proprietary Intel connector. Oh, it's an Intel connector. It's an Intel product. You must not be a Thunderbater.

MacBooks have had Thunderbolt ports previously, right? Macs have had Thunderbolt before. Yeah, they've had Thunderbolt ports for a while. They tried to make it so they don't have Intel processors. Oh. No, no, no. They still have Thunderbolt ports. It still worked.

And to copy 90 terabytes of data takes about a day and a half. Even at RAID speeds in hard drive disks, the array still takes a long time. So I spent the better part of two days copying things over, waiting to be able to plug this into my computer to be able to go there. And then lo and behold, the copy is done and I go and hook it up to my PC and it doesn't connect still. And I'm losing my mind for about five, six hours yesterday morning. I was just trying on that computer. That's a lot of wasted Thunderbation. Thank you. Yes. Thank you very much.

And so I plug it into this one and this is a, this is a Threadripper processor. And then I look up, oh, Thunderbolt's Intel. So I was like, oh God, is it only going to work on an Intel processor? So I go, I grab another computer that I have and I plug it in there and I'm like, oh, this doesn't work. And then I'm like, oh, no, this one's a Ryzen. Oh, no. And then I realized, oh, I have a Intel computer because Star Forge Systems, Critical's company, sent me a computer a while back, which I didn't shout out. That was like half a year ago. And I needed to give some support.

Hey, shout out to you. job star for systems yeah uh so i i go there and i plug it in that one i'm like okay this is gonna work and it doesn't connect and i'm just like oh my god no it doesn't connect so i call up finally customer service and the first thing that he says is all right first thing off the bat let's make sure it's not plugged into a usbc port because it's just not gonna work and i go oh no what but but i and he's like it should be really obvious that this thing is not a thun it's thunderbolt only and i'm like oh boy and I'm like I must be stupid I must just be an idiot but no if you go to there if you go to their website like I read it says a thunderbolt USB C storage solution you

scroll down their list it does say thunder, but it also says stabilize Thunderbolt and USB-C cables with the added-on anti-cable strain device. Oh, yeah, they give you the cables, you just can't use them. Yes, it's just like there is nothing on this website that says Thunderbolt only. The host port requirements in the technical detail says Thunderbolt parentheses USB-C port that's what it says it says Thunderbolt USB-C port that's what it says and then this guy It's just telling you mark that it's it's the same shape as you know a Thunderbolt port and USB-C they look the same And they're just like it's that one, but it's got the little lightning symbol next to it.

Thunderbolt. It sure do. And this is where I discovered that I was like, okay, maybe I can get a computer like a PCI Express adapter to be able to get a Thunderbolt. But if your motherboard isn't built with Thunderbolt headers in it, you literally cannot put a thunderbolt connector to your computer in any way shape or form and i blame myself partially for the ignorance of the you know difference like i knew there was a difference between thunderbolt and usbc but if you look online there's many things to say like yeah usually thunderbolt and usbc things can interconnect it's just usbc will be slightly slower yeah you don't get the same bandwidth

or whatever but it's still 20 gigabits a second it's still high bandwidth it's just that this specific hard drive from this specific company will not work if it's not thunderbolt period and i bought three of these oh so, so they were cheap. That's what you're saying. This is some kind of cheap, duct-taped-together, knockoff brand of product, and they're not at all outrageously expensive or something like that. That's what you're saying, right? Yeah, they were only $5,279 a piece.

So, that9 a piece. So, that's a car. Well, you better get some computers with Thunderbolt ports on them. Shit. Yeah, I better. So I am just, I am heartbroken, and I get it. I get it. This is not entirely OWC's fault. I think they should remove

some of the USB-C language, but I didn't even know in the first place but it's just like i'm mad and i need to lash out thanks that thunder baiters all right so and you talked to them and after you figured out all of this stuff you were like well obviously i need to return these and the guy was like oh once you accept delivery they're yours forever sorry i picture this guy sitting in a dark room with like one light in there. He's holding a cigar. The phone rings like three times.

He picks it up and he's like, before we get started. Actually, I've got a prop here. Before we get started, USB-C won't work. But I click. That's basically how the call went. That's his whole job. I know that must be a common call.

Because he said that before anything. He literally... Not even, hello, what's your name? It's, before we get started. No, he was like, what's your problem? I told him it wasn't connecting. He was like, alright, first things first. USB-C won't fly.

Just like, what? You make the saddest noise, like, and he just hangs up the phone takes another puff picks up his bourbon another one down you heard it here first mark is editing an entire movie on a macbook pro everybody that's uh that's what's happening honestly i was debating it just being like just do it here but i mean you could get like uh you could get like a dock and you know a magic keyboard and

one of those 4k Apple displays those are pretty good those are only $6,000 three times as much as they should cost and or more than that but you know they're good so yeah yeah yeah worth it or whatever because it's got Apple on it the only saving grace is that like

the enclosure has the hard drives in them, and the hard drives can be moved over to something else. So I got another 8-bay dock. So I'm just going to take the hard drives out and hope that the RAID array stays in place if I insert them in the same place. You just end up with 90 terabytes of DHS data across the hard drives. You plug them in, and they're all just like,

oh, what is this, film footage camera stuff oh boy we're gonna lose some of these pixels tell you what from what i've heard you can take a raid array from something else because the raid array is built into the hard drives itself and also what it's plugged into um but it's just like it is it was extremely heartbreaking i have to deal with some returns and these were not uh i was gonna have these flown to like my editors oh god well you could still do that just buy three more yep in my brain i don't know what i thought film was like recorded i guess i pictured the big giant fancy like movie cameras having a long cable that somehow connect to another building next door that has just like stacks of storage and

the editors have to cram into there to make the movie right next door that's how it always worked in my brain i guess that's just how hollywood does it uh union rules you know yeah union rules you gotta build a separate bunker just for the data. And upstairs is a guy with like a glass of bourbon and one light and a dark room holding a cigar like, That's right, keep editing and no USB-C. Why does everyone have a cigar? Man, I should get a prop that I keep near my desk that I just continuously make excuses to move out. I gotta make it worth the business expense. I spent like $3 on this. This is a $2 joke cigar.

I got to put it to work. I've not had a reason to use it for a while. And if I don't put it in my mouth long enough, the saliva really gets gross. All right. That's horrifying. Thank you. It's like a child's toy that never gets washed. It's real fancy, though.

I've got my own personal cigar prop napkin that it sits on and i change it out every once in a while you're like chica because if we ever wash her toys she has to re-saliva them back up she's like yeah alexi's the same way we we wash her bed sometimes and and every time we wash anything that she lays on she has to like re she's to like wipe her butthole on it and stuff and get it all stanked up again of course of course as you do i do the same thing when molly cleans sheets i'm like oh every chance those sheets on the bed i climb up on there no boxers and i just scratch around a little bit so i can get all you know get my musk

on there rub all around how am i gonna get pink eye if i don't do that it's true you did once give our entire recording our tour group pink eye listen i gave one two people one person pink eye and it's because i had pink eye not because i wiped my butthole on anything well so you claim i don't know how i got it and we're not gonna get into that but i gave it to other people through the eye area not through any other areas i know how you didn't give it to him usbc thanks is that funny dark room trench coat cigar guy that does bring me to uh we've had a good discussion here and it brings me to today's topic mark in your struggle so thank you for that uh beautiful setup uh-huh today we're going to talk about our wish list for the future.

Things that we want to see, and I've got it broken down kind of by topic. I'll group this in with like, we'll just talk about game technology, but to start off with, but that can include like filming and stuff. That's kind of like what we do. Just talking about realistic life. We're not going to name things that are like impossible, but realistically things that like we could see happening or that we want to be developed. I think we have a good idea of things that we'd like to see. So starting with film and game technology, what are some things you'd like to see changed or improved upon?

Would you like a OWC to work with USB-C? Wait, so hold on. Is that a gaming technology? Well, I'm grouping the two together for the sake of the conversation. So is it game technology or games themselves? Honestly, either way. It's relatively vague. Mainly, I just want to talk about things that we want to see changed in the future. I just kind of got a list of topics in case we hit a bump in things to talk about. But we can really talk about whatever we want with it.

You said realistic, but how far into the future can I reach? And how much can I extrapolate? Let's say within the next hundred years. that's pretty that's pretty open i think is that how long we're gonna live is that your estimation i'm gonna live forever oh i'm a main character so i'm okay until they decide to retire me like ash ketchum and i just get put on the shelf but you don't die you're just stored away yeah this that kind of disqualifies what my answer is then. But I had one immediately come to mind for this. It's a loose topic, so go for it.

I want the technology without the dystopia, but that's not how it works, so I'll take both. I want the Ready Player One game-averse. The metaverse, if you will, from Ready Player One to be more real. I've never seen Ready Player One to be more real. I've never seen Ready Player One. Okay, so it's a futuristic thing where basically the world takes place in a digital metaverse type thing where you pop on, but it's not just like you have a controller

or a mouse keyboard or something. Like the Matrix? It's like a VR headset type thing, but you also have a full haptic suit so you're like running you're you're you're feeling you know stuff hits you there's like impacts it's it's full haptic feedback haptic input full suit and this is like this is the world in which people work right the whole the dystopian part is there's a company called um ioi and they they are the facebook or meta of the world because they like kind of own the universe and they they basically uh turn people into indentured servants by crushing

them with debt and then putting them in like a debtor's prison until they work off their debt and it's like impossible to successfully work off your debt that's that's the dystopian part uh but you know we're kind of already there. But at least in that world, you're doing it in a digital world. You know, you're playing, you're working inside the game and then you get out of that and then you're just in prison,

which now that I'm saying it out loud does sound pretty bad. But the world is essentially like a fully immersive real world where you can have a job, you can earn money, you have an avatar, there are references to pop culture. I want a game world that's kind of like that, and I feel like we're heading in

that direction. But from what I've seen from the metaverse, I got low hopes for that one, the real world metaverse in our world. We'll see where that goes, but that seems cool. It seems fun to just have, you know, it's like what Second Life was in the early 2000s, except way, way more of a realistic and fun and immersive experience. So funny that you mentioned that because Amy and I, we just watched like this video essay that was talking about Decentraland. Have you heard of Decentraland? I have heard of it, and I honestly can't remember a single piece of information about it. But like, I've heard that name or whatever.

Yeah. can't remember a single piece of information about it but like i've heard that name or whatever yeah so decentraland was created at the very beginning hype of the uh uh cryptocurrency decentralization like all the key buzzwords that you would hear out of the crypto world um to be like you can own your virtual own virtual land be the first to have your own virtual land that's integrated into the blockchain it's uh when when you go into this the experience is so garbage it's so much worse than roblox like any of these other like uh online games and what you do and it's funny you mentioned Second Life. Second Life is a surprisingly robust and well-integrated online community that has so much more actual real-world value than Decentraland ever could. And it's like, it's so funny because those online games like World of Warcraft and any MMO,

they actually do have a translatable real-world value for their currency. Even World of Warcraft has integrated into their game a way for you to pay for gold because gold farmers were such a problem. With crypto? No, not with crypto. No, unfortunately, it's not on the blockchain. If it's not on the blockchain, then I don't know. It's just such a comically bad experience.

It is so shittily programmed it's so terribly integrated and they actually scrapped their vr plans because they the game developers couldn't do it they they just weren't good enough um and so you have this world where that's where the metaverse people who are at least incorporated into uh the crypto world want to take the metaverse people who are at least incorporated into the crypto world want to take the metaverse. But even Facebook's own metaverse is still a inferior version of Second Life. It's just, it's hilarious to see where things kind of go backwards when people don't actually care about the world that they're building, or the people in the world don't care care about the world that they're building or the people in the world don't care about improving the world that they're building. You know, it's just such a fascinating thing. So I don't know if that'll ever happen, especially in the way that like Facebook or Meta, I guess,

now wants to take it with their stuff. I love, I love the Oculus, which I guess is called the MetaQuest now. The MetaQuest 2? i actually really like that as a vr headset but not for the purposes of getting in the metaverse i like it for its gaming ability because i do i get motion sickness pretty badly but the newest one actually helps it because it tracks your eyes like where your eyes are looking so it it's helped a lot yet i didn't know that it was better because i used to get motion sick with the old one but I've had one for like two years just sitting here in a box. In a box wrapped in plastic

sitting on the floor of your office covered in banana peels. Interesting. I can't believe it. It's out of the box box it's just in this box. You put it in its case and then never opened it again? No that's the Quest 2. I'm talking about the Quest Pro. No yeah I realized mid talk you were talking about the quest pro no yeah i realized mid mid

talk you were talking about the pro yes the pro is is better and newer and oh so this thing's out of date good i'll get rid of that garbage you might as well just throw that in the toilet and flush it down outdated and then uh what was the htc they released their like oh yeah competitor i heard that was yeah they're really lightweight headset thing that looks like a big pair of glasses sort of i don't remember what it's called but yeah no well see that's the thing technologically i feel like we are like you're saying we are heading in a direction where vr and ar headsets are already at a place where the the htc one i saw a demo of a person using it in ar as like a work productivity thing where it's like you're at a desk but the desk is empty but you could have as many monitors as you want right you can have

custom sized monitors and scaled and positioned and all this stuff and you have like an ar workspace where it's just a desk but you can have the exact right customization of your workspace what's available where things like that looks super cool and the the right customization of your workspace what's available with things like that was super cool and the the lightweight nature of the tech is getting to the point where yeah i could see a future where we have the sort of technology that ready player one has but if we're if i have to be realistic you're also dead accurate that i have no faith that a company with the resources to create a universe like the one i'm dreaming about would do it in a way that would be good and i have even less faith that, any users who would get on there, you know, would

use it in good faith. Like people would just want to break it. They'd want to game the system. They'd want to hack, hack it or, or gamify it and try and make like video games are just made to be abused. Right? So no one would approach it in a way where it's like, let's enjoy this world and build it.

And what people would just be like, let fuck this up let's hack it let's extract money from this whatever and it's like yeah well people are gonna ruin it and it's gonna be ruined before it even happens because it's made by a company so no i don't think that's ever gonna exist but it could in my dreams maybe it could it could yeah all right. So crippling debt and being forced into a virtual world. Debtor's prisons and drones with facial recognition that hunt you down to put you in debtor's prison. That's my dream. Did you see the original developer of the Oculus Rift made a modded version of the headset with like three shotgun shells like arranged right here up on your cranium uh so that when you die in the game it'll fire the shotgun oh my god it's obviously not for sale

the thing was made as like a art piece statement thing but it's just like that's jigsaw's vr headset yeah i mean it's his view of vr and you know that world being twisted in the way that it has i think he's kind of jaded a little bit but it's very funny too real sorry all right mark do you have any dreams? What's your dream, Mark? Dream? Your technological wish list. Technological wish list. Man, I don't know. Coming off of the AI conversation is like... 8-bay hard drives that can use Thunderbolt and USB-C at the same time? Yeah, no.

I want a unified connection system, which is what USB was supposed to be, right? USB is called Universal Serial Bus. It was originally meant to be something that could unify all of these connections, and yet you still have these companies that are like, no, we gotta make a proprietary connector. And then the frickin' USB commission couldn't decide what the hell that the USB implementers forum is what it's called and The nightmare that was USB 3 because it was USB 3 and then there was USB 3.0 Gen 1 or Gen 2 And then there was USB 3.1 Gen 1 which is actually USB 3.0 3.1 Gen 1 which is actually USB 3.0

Gen 2 and then there was USB 3.1 Gen 2 and then USB 3.2 Gen 1 which was 5 gigabits per second which was no faster than USB 3.0 And then there was USB 3.2 Gen 2 which was USB which would 10 gigabit per second which was actually USB 3.1 Gen 2 it's just like the names just kept getting worse. You lost me like a third of the way into that. I understand that technology is

complicated and I also understand that the thing that USB whatever committee that you said faces is that they have versions of protocols and versions of connectors right yes but whoever comes up with the names over there should have been fired so long ago like jesus christ it's a usb a female gen 2 no no us. Gen? No. 3.1.

Wait, it's a B connector. This is a USB-B. A USB-B. Oh my fucking god. Before we get started, let me say, is this about our naming system? Because if so, nothing to say. Also, mini-USB and micro-USB. What the fuck happened?

All right. This is not a conversation that i think a large portion of our listeners really care about everyone really if you want to go down a rabbit hole of someone uh who sounds a lot like mark going on a rant about some dumb bullshit look up a video of like a tech youtuber like lightest tactics or tech Tips or somebody talking about the USB naming conventions and how absolutely confusing and fucked it all is. At least it's all universal. It is universal. That's true. That's true.

I have the full list of names if you guys want it. There's USB 2.0 and then there's USB 3.2 Gen 1 X1. What happened to USB 1.0? What are we just skipping things now? Yeah, USB 1.0 is whatever whatever, it's back in the day. Doesn't get to be on the list, it sucks. Is this about USB 1.0? Because, uh, we shot that in the backyard 20 years ago.

All right, sorry, sorry, sorry. USB 2.0, the beginning, obviously. Yeah, USB 3.2 Gen 1 X1. That is the next step step because the old names they're the old names for usb 3.2 gen 1 x1 was usb 3.0 and its old name was also usb 3.1 gen 1 then there's usb 3.2 gen 1 x2 which is uh it's the double of usb 3.2 then Then there's USB 3.2 Gen 2 X1 Whose old name was USB 3.1 Gen 2 and then there's USB 3.2 Gen 2 X2 And then I thought USB 4 was gonna be better

No, it's not USB 4 Gen 2 X1 USB 4 Gen 2 X2 USB 4 Gen 3 X1 USB 4 Gen 3 X2 USB 4 Gen 4 X1 USB 4 Gen 4 3 X2. USB 4 Gen 4 X1. USB 4 Gen 4 X2. And then USB 4 Gen 4 Asymmetric. Whoa, hey. That's where they fired the guy who was doing all the Gen 2 X's. And the new guy was like,

let's go in a different direction, guys. Yeah. I've got some thoughts. Which ones of these work with Thunder Base? None of them. None of those. Okay, good. Just want to make sure. It's like, not only that, but, like, naming conventions should be, you have to force everyone

to adhere to it, or it's punishable by death. Because when AT&T, when 5G was just starting, and then AT&T came up with this, oh, brilliant idea of 5G experience. Do you guys know about this? 5GE. 5GE, right? No. 5GE.

There was originally LTE yada yadas, and that was a whole nightmare of itself. But AT&T did not have 5G towers up yet they did not their their phones were not 5G capable there was not anything about that that was possible they came up with this marketing scheme that as soon as people started hearing about 5G and 5G phones were still a year away they came up with this brilliant idea that they would relabel their latest version of LTE to call it the 5G experience. So that people could get a glimpse of what 5G's going to be like. And it just threw a fucking wrench in the entire concept of 5G in general, which the commission for 5G was just like,

yeah, it's 5G, there's only one con- there's only one convention for but then these marketing assholes. We're just like 5g Experience and it's nothing different from LTE It was no different and they got away with it. Are you having issues with our 5g experience cuz uh that That's a problem then uh, sorry. Yeah cigars really getting its mileage today We all appreciate it. That's like Taco Bell saying that they serve grade A-E beef. It's actually grade E beef or whatever. You know, Taco Bell buys cheaper stuff.

E-A beef. But it's the grade A experience level of beef once Taco Bell puts their juice in it or whatever spices i love that for us i can't believe that's not illegal i know that seems that seems just like straight up fraud like i get if you want to say like in the marketing if you want to say like it's as fast as 5g kind of or whatever but calling it 5ge like the phones said on them in the little firmware in the thing it would say you have 5ge service in the little corner i've seen that that's just like a scam because it seems like it's a 5g convention it's a misnomer of an that would be like if you called

something usbc but it was actually a regular USB Type-A plug or something. Like, it doesn't make sense. It's not the same thing at all. Well, it's a USB-LC because it's like C. USB-C-E. It's the experience. Yeah, USB-C. Yeah, so in the future, companies must adhere to one naming convention they have to pick.

They all have to agree on one, and it's just the one. And if you disagree, you get sent to the guy with a cigar for beatings. Create an independent city state like the Vatican. And the people that live there, all they do is live and breathe naming conventions. And they have ultimate authority to enforce it. They have their own gulag and torture chambers. A whole nine yards. I'm with you, Mark.

Yep. You go to naming convention church where they'll like bless your name. Like, I want to call this USBD. And they're like, I'm sorry, my son. No. Slap. And you leave. It wouldn't be church, though, would it? It'd be NameConCon.

You gotta go to NameConCon if you want to get a... NameConCon. If you want to get a NameyCon. Because they're nerds. All right. Well, Bob wants eternal prison in VR. Mark wants just good names. Very reasonable things to wish for.

We have high goals. I think within the next hundred years, that's doable. Well, I don't think it'll happen, but could it? Yes. It could happen today. Naming things properly could very easily happen, but we have to lie for profit. Yay. Hooray.

This might be a bit happier. What about technological advancements with food? I want it to continue to remain to be edible. That's good. I like meat a lot. I can't live without meat, but I've admitted I'm a hypocrite. I could never kill something to eat it. So to have like tofu doesn't quite do it for me.

But if we could have something that fully simulated the feeling and taste of meat without me having to like eat an animal, I would love that. If I could have a steak without having to have a dead cow, that would make me happy. Yeah, there's some pretty good technological advancements in terms of lab-grown meat. And I know that as a name

like doesn't speak a lot towards it, so let's get the meat-y, the meat experience, you know? Weird side tangent on that. There's a huge, like, I don't know, there's a big snobby thing about lab-created diamonds versus naturally-found diamonds. I imagine it would be the same

thing with food, where it's like, oh, this is one of the best steaks I've ever had. Yes, it's lab-created. Lab-created. Now it doesn't taste as good.'s like, oh, this is one of the best steaks I've ever had. Yes, it's lab created. Lab created. Now it doesn't taste as good. Just like with diamonds, food is only good if someone or something suffered or died so you could eat it.

I'm glad this was a happier topic. Real diamonds are chemically or whatever, physically not really different or distinguishable from lab-made diamonds. In fact, lab-made diamonds may be even more pure because it's a controlled thing. But no one had to work in those mines. There's no blood washed off those diamonds

as they come through customs. If you're calling about the lab created, I'm gonna have to let you go. No, no, that one doesn't play. That's too far. That one doesn't work. Calm it. Wait for a real opportunity. Don't shoehorn it in. I have to let you go no no that one doesn't play that's too far that one doesn't work calm down wait for a real opportunity don't shoehorn it in i have to it's too funny to me if it's not funny but i mean there is something about that is like yeah people in most experiences like there have

to be like something that can tie it to a story it's it's like almost if you could just conjure diamonds in your hand it would probably be the same thing as lab grown thing because pretty much that's what they do they're gonna here's a diamond it's not that hard for some reason people would be like oh but with lab grown meat i think that there's a lot of people like you and myself included that would be like yeah if it's just as nutritionally dense probably more so if it has a better amino acid profile than like actual meat and it still tastes good. Like, why wouldn't I? Why wouldn't? Because in the long run, much

like lab-grown diamonds, it'd probably be cheaper and it would be more sustainable and it would have less side effects on various different environmental factors, you know, like animal care factors and stuff like that. It would have a lot of pluses to it, but there would still be people that would be like,

yeah, but nothing like taking a chainsaw to old Bessie out behind the bar. And we can call it something like 100% real meat, NR, where NR stands for not really. It's real. I think in the future, their preferred term will be non-conscious flesh. Non-conscious flesh. Can I get be non-conscious flesh. Non-conscious flesh. Can I get the non-conscious flesh mignon? Then you get a gross and hard to stomach thing attached to it. You're like, oh, this is non-conscious.

Oh, oh, oh. I couldn't harvest my own non-conscious flesh, but man, is it delicious. I'll sure eat it. Right? That's the thing. It's gross, right? That's why it's cool. That's why it's cool that's why it's cool i think yeah no i'm with you i agree with everything both of you said i think that would be a cool development i do think see that's the thing too right like i i i've learned enough about like the treatment of animals in you know in factory farms

and and like i've learned enough to the point where it's like man i wish i could just go vegan but the inner connectivity of food and memory and like my life to me is rough because you have there are certain things you can't recreate with just like tofu or tempeh or or you know vegan or vegetarian alternatives where it's like that is a nostalgic thing that i cannot just let go of or get over part of my childhood it's part of my family connection and it doesn't make me feel less guilty about it but it does it is like if you could get that experience and also it's cruelty free i would be 100 happy and on board with that it's just so it's just a weird thing i don't know even just saying this i feel like a hypocrite i'm sure people out there are like ah you just don't have

self-control i'm like yeah do you see them i'm not fat because i have a lot of self-control probably the opposite uh it it's tough that would be it would be a good technological advance you kind of took mine i gotta be honest you're welcome yeah wait you posed the question then you answered it wayne also stole it right out of my mouth. If you have complaints for the host, let me start with, I can't help you. I had opened my mouth to go like, yeah. All right, Mark, you go next, buddy. I'm sure you have other food technologies. I mean, I'm hoping that down the road, you know how in Star Trek they have their little

box where you ask for anything and it makes it. I hope that in the future there is like this system and this is way down the road not quite let it materializes it in in there but it has like you know where you put ink into a printer but you got like protein carbs and it'll print your protein cartridge yeah why, if it could, it's kind of fun. You walk up to the synthesizer and you're like, one pepperoni pizza, please. And it prints out a cheese pizza.

And then on the little screen, it's like, whoa, I'm protein. Like, fuck. Damn it. So you have to, like, take your USB 523C version 9.15 meat cartridge to plug in there. Well, that'll be Bluetooth 8.6 at that point, so. Wireless meat

cartridge? Wireless meat? That's the future. Wireless meat. I can't wait. I'll just transfer you some meat via Wi-Fi. Yeah, no, food synthesizers. That's a good one, too. The thing about that is it needs to get to a point where it's not gross. I'm sure that that sort of technology could exist relatively soon but it would just print out like

you know like horrifying meme versions of food where you'd look at it and just be like i'll eat something else yeah i don't imagine it's gonna look very good and you just get like a printer or like on a 3d printer and It's just our spaghettifying and just go. Oh no. My food got cancer. God damn it. That's a fun genre. It's like a, it's like a combination of right now,

how you could find live streams of 3d printers. And you could also find like cooking show type content. It's a 3d 3d printer cooking show live stream where you're watching it half the time it starts off printing something fancy it's printing a steak but then it just turns into spaghetti but if that happens the machine just changes it over to actually spaghetti and it's just half a steak we covered in spaghetti and the machine's like aha it's like a filet base with like spaghetti tendrils coming off that are start off as beef and turning into spaghetti. Oh god, it's like an alien infested steak with spaghetti

things. I mean, honestly, like, yeah, if that is something that could happen in the future, there would be printers and it's just like a weird random food combination. You'd probably discover combinations you'd never think to try that'd be actually really delicious. Like, I never thought about having spaghetti wrapped filet. I think

they call that a carbonara. I don't know why but i thought you were gonna add another step to the carbonara thing but you just isn't that what a carbonara is am i crazy no like that's not a steak carbonara can't you have a steak carbonara a meat carbonara look carbonara is a simple dish where you take you start with bacon and or pancetta some kind of smoked pork product and you cut it into little bits crisp that up in a pan and then you add uh you add like an egg yolk and a whole shit ton of parmesan cheese and that's it and it's pasta with like a creamy cheese sauce on it no No, it's got meat. Yeah, it has little bacon bits in it. Look, if it's got spaghetti and meat, it's a carbonara. We are unifying our naming system.

Skyline's three-way carbonara. No, you're what? You're right, Mark. I'm coming around. It's got spaghetti. It's got meat. Carbonara! If there's one country

that has really strict food rules, it's Italy. And, you know, you got your cannolis. You got your carbonara. Oh, God, that has really strict food rules. It's Italy and you know you got your cannolis You got your carbonara Dude my stream chat since that episodes come out has just been is this insert random bullshit a cannoli Like every fucking person that comes in so many new people come in just ask me if bullshit's a good- It's the new bald. Instead of just people coming saying bald. It's now is fucking my sister a cannoli? It's like god damn it

Wait is that one a cannoli? No, I what you're telling me you didn't talk that through? No, I did not talk that through and I made that one up I think. Well, now I'm just curious. Mark, you're the cannoli expert. Is fucking my sister a cannoli? Discuss. Well, well, well, if you think about it,

as per our definitions of cannoli, it's something that is wrapped that is not. She has to bend unnaturally. Yeah, it has to be wrapped unnaturally, and there's nothing more unnatural than twerking your sister's arm. Therefore, cannoli stand.

Cannoli! Goosh! I'm glad we've solved this. Oh wait, I will say, have you guys seen the, um, oh, now I can't remember, the 4D rule of food or whatever the hell, the cube rule of food? Did you guys see that? Cube rule of food.

If there's one thing flat, it's like a toast. If you Google it, it's like a picture. Ah, I see, I see. Okay. People continue. Oh, oh. picture. Ah, I see. I see. Okay. People continue... What the fuck just happened? Hang on. My computer's still on. That's good. This had

a lot of liquid in it a minute ago. Oh no! Oh god, oh no. I think I spilled it around the PlayStation and it just barely spilled next to, but not onto the computer. I think we're fine. Before we get started, did you spill liquid on it? Because if we did.

Everyone laughs every time you do it, Wade. Never stop. They are. The subreddit is going to tell me they are. So yeah, the cube rule of food. Yeah. Cube rule of food. I've got it right here they have a lot of the elements that we talked about right so we have toast and that's a very specific thing we have a

sandwich which is also defined three is a taco yeah that's fair but four being sushi as we all know japanese stole the concept of sushi from the Italians and their cannolis. Therefore, inherently all sushi is a cannoli. But what's real sushi is not wrapped at all. It's rice, like fish on rice. The rolls are just how it evolved from cannoli-ism. Yeah, I know. Isn't the thing that is called nigiri sushi, isn't that just like rice and fish? And isn't that, I don't know if that's more traditional or what, but maki rolls are the

things that are rolled in seaweed or whatever, but sushi is like... So hold on. Is butter toast or is butter a calzone? Butter would be a calzone, right? Butter? What are you talking about? Just a nice cube of butter would be a calzone. How about you get your reading comprehension out of yours

and look for identifying dishes based on starch locations? Oh, starch. Is butter a starch? Didn't think so. I don't know, man. I just eat it. So they got like the bread bowl and the calzone. I think we got all of it, except they're wrong about sushi here.

This is clearly a cannoli number four is misnomer yeah they mislabeled cannoli as sushi I don't understand what happened wait if you have a soft shell taco that kind of wraps a little bit does it become a cannoli depends on how much you wrap it if you let that top end flop over if it touches if it touches

inadvertently it's suddenly a cannoli and then you you ruined your taco experience oh he's not wrong He's 100% right. I think anyone that eats a taco is ruining their experience. Man, I've got more, but I don't know. I feel like I should stop this before we get... Alright.

What future tech... One more. What future tech do you want to see to help us build our unidentifiable clown army? Unidentifiable clown army? Isn't that a bit of a... I feel like if it's a clown army, it's going to be very identifiable as clowns. No, you won't know. See, remember the callback.

This is a callback to one of our earlier episodes. The clowns will be parachuting down, but because they're dressed like clowns, nobody knows whose clowns they are. But as technology goes along, we need to keep advancing our clown army. So this is more of a me thing, but I need you guys to help build it for me I don't even think that now in today's era of clown-age That they wear like jerseys showing their clown team I don't think that clowns have sponsors labeled on their outfits that show who owns them

If the next clown I see at a birthday party doesn't have a sponsored covered race suit like a like a nascar driver i'm gonna be disappointed and i'm gonna teach him how to make some real money at that job they're gonna squeeze their nose like squeak squeak sponsored my owc uh anyway wade i don't want to help you build your clown army but i would say that the answer lies in one word smaller smaller smaller the clowns. Smaller the clowns, the more you can drop it once, the more mischievous activities they can get up to. Perfection.

That's all you need. So we need a box on the plane, not even on the plane, before they board the planes and helicopters, there's a box they go into that compresses them down into smaller clowns.

Isn't that what their cars are for? No, this is so simplified by clown breeding. You know, I know we don't believe, we believe that all clowns should breed in the wild, but we should maybe selectively breed clowns to get like a toy clown. We should get Monsanto on that.

They're really good at selective breeding. They'll just make bigger clowns, and I don't know if that's what we want. Clowns that won't die if they get bitten by beetles. I want genetically modified clowns. What modifications would you want? All organic clowns. Naturally sourced. Free range

clowns. That's how I want my clowns. Clouds are all like weird shapes and the color's really inconsistent, but they're organic, so. Did we answer your question, Wade? I mean, honestly, better than I thought you guys would, so I'll take it. No one had a concern after the first two seconds of the liquid

spill on my desk. I'm glad it all worked out for us. Well, you said it didn't hit your PC, and it was like, well, then it's not our problem. Alright. Fair enough. I mean, I care, I guess, I'm supposed to. As your friend, I care. How are you? I'm sticky. I'm not, I'm unhappy. Sticky. You're a parent. Aren't you always

sticky now? I wash my hands pretty frequently. But this area is free game. I get spit ups and all kinds of stuff. And things get on my phone now. But my hands, I wash. Well, because the baby sucks on them a lot. It's not what it sounds like.

It's just a baby sucking on my fingers. Do you need to talk about it? It's not what you think. It's just a baby who likes to put my finger in his mouth because he's a baby. He thinks that's funny. I mean, it is kind of funny. It's not. It's sticky. Alright, well. Thanks for your concern, I guess is my summary. I appreciate it.

Yeah, you're welcome, man. You know, just for fun, I didn't really assign any points, so I'm gonna let the wheel decide the winner. Do you guys want to do it based on points or names? Probably names, I think. let the wheel decide the winner. You guys want to do it based on points or names? Probably names I think. Is the wheel an even chance? Yeah Do you know what I asked? Are you unsure of what exactly I meant or? You have a you each have I would say 49.9% chance of winning. Is there a point one Wade winner? Yes

Is this surprising to you? No not really roll the dice See there's one little way to liver and then there's even numbers of Bob and Mark wait No, why what's of the colors and the one is happening? I don't know why the colors are like even at! That's like 80% mark! Look. What? Oh, that explains it. What? It's just, I shuffled it. I'm sorry, I can't read in microscopic language. What's happening?

Alright, do you want me to go through this? Do you really want me to go through this? God, no. No, it's fair's fair and the wheel is... Look, if I shuffle it, the colors get weird. You see? Oh, Jesus Christ. My hands are tied.

What's happening? Is it spinning? No, it's shuffling it. Now it's spinning. Someone in the subreddit do an analysis of how unfair this is. Our winner of today's episode is... Oh, go me, me, me, me, me. It's Mark!

Mark! Yeah! I... I... The... I... I... I... I just... I can't...

I... You showed everyone and it didn't look fair. And then it... I don't... I can't... It's fair. Oh, man.

There's a big Mark, a big Bob, there's a Mark and Bob even, Um, Mark, Bob there, where's the Bob and Bob, Mark there, Mark and Bob there, and then these two there. And there's one little weight sliver. Fair is fair. So, um, Bob, do you have a loser speech? Maybe. It's a coin flip, dude.

You had a 50%. I know, and it definitely looks that way for sure. Well, mine is my little sliver. I love how fair the podcast has been lately. It's very refreshing. You know, for a long time, all three of us took turns winning. I had my losing streak. You never had a losing streak.

You just tried to lose a lot. But you never consistently lost repeatedly. I did. I had a pretty long one. No, what was your longest losing streak, Wade, of episodes? I don't remember. I never cared. It was like two or three episodes, maybe. that was like 10 that that is untrue it probably is untrue but it's at least five

i have a spreadsheet let's see what color are you green there is no stretch of more than two episodes on my spreadsheet where you are not the winner no i had a i had a losing streak for a while we must have switched up the order of the episodes to make me look better because I lost a lot. This is literally a chronologically documented thing of all the episodes. It's color-coded. There's a filter. Your longest is three consecutive

episodes where you went without winning. Wait, I just checked. The sheet is out there. You have access to it. As the host, I veto this information. I accept the host's decision and embrace the fairness of it. And I thank you for just giving me the opportunity to compete. Mark, you deserve this. Thank you.

Mark, do you have a winner's speech? I do. I regret the things I've said about sushi. And I know that this will come back to haunt me in my future more than anything combative that I've ever said in my life. I know people will hunt me down for my

statement about sushi. I apologize formally and I will recuse myself from the internet from here on out. Oh, great. Alright, well if you guys have any complaints about sushi or about the fairness I'm'm so sorry we can't help you i just want to say this is eight episodes in a row of me not winning wow is it really i just i just looked you have a streak of four there were four episodes where the winners were me, Mark, me, Mark again, then you. But I have not won an episode, not hosted,

but won an episode since I won Riddles and Rhymes on April 24th. Hey, you deserved that win. And that was the one where I was the only competitor because you two hosted together. Didn't you almost lose? Yeah, almost! Somehow, yeah. It's fine. I'm fine. It's fine. It's fair. This is fair.

It feels fair. I hope you've all enjoyed. Thank you guys for being great competitors in a very fair episode. If you haven't already, go follow Mark at Markiplier. Bob at MySkirm. I'm Wade, LordMinion777 or Minion777. We'll see you all in the next one where Mark will host a very fair episode and we'll see who wins

gee I wonder who's gonna win until then we have merch store.destructiblepodcast.com podcast out