Distractible - Where Am I?!

Episode Date: January 10, 2025

Pilot Captain Wade takes Mark and Bob on a flight across the country to gaze down upon the oddly named towns of America. And Russia. And Ancient Greece. Wait... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Westerling Wade robs off over Mark and gets out his Atlas to analyze his accidental ding-dong. Bereft Bob finds the perfect sheath for his butthole and questions Colorado's cognitive clarity. Mascarad Mark rejects manly munitions, utterly ignores continental boundaries, and quotes was not was. From bald bashing to the last chance saloon. Heheheheh. It's time for Where Am I?

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractable. I am today's host because well, starting the year off strong is exactly what I had planned in the last episode. You didn't watch it, you should, because everything went exactly how we thought it would. I'm joined by my co-host as always Mark and Bob. Hello. Hi.

Hi. This is the show where one of us hosts the other two compete for points and whoever has the most points at the end gets to host the next episode. And that will not change today, but typically and today we usually start off with some small talk So how's things going? Is my hair getting progressively more disheveled? A little bit With every recording we've been doing I don't know why

Cause all I've been doing is getting up, going to the bathroom, getting some food But I come back and my hair is just a complete ramshackle mess Wade, you know what that feels like, huh? Yeah, you get that, Wade? Yeah. Sometimes I'll get my head shaved and I'll miss a single hair. I also have like a random eyebrow hair here that likes to go a little wild sometimes, and I have to trim it.

Dude, I have never felt more attacked than when I'm sitting there getting a haircut and with no prompting whatsoever. The barber is just like, Hey do you want me to trim those eyebrows up a little bit for you? And I'm like, what are they bad? They've been like this. Like, yeah, I'll just fix them. Don't worry. I'll just fix them. I didn't know they were broken. When we were filming space,

if you remember when I did like detective Mark and they filled in my eyebrows more, like they made them thicker Everyone was looking at me like you look good today What's going on? What's going on with you? And then they filled in mixed eyebrows more and they're like well hey you way something changed about you So the secret to beauty is not cutting out eyebrows. It's thicker fuller eyebrows They're screwing me over at sport clips. Well, you were too handsome.

They didn't want you to be excessively handsome. Dumbin' me down for the rest of you losers. The worst was one time I had one of those wild old man hairs on like the outside of my ear and without even saying anything, they're just like, ooh, let me get that old man hair too while I'm at it. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ooh.

Ah, damn. When they're like, ooh, and they're looking at you and then they just trim something real quick. It's like, ah, ah, ah, ah. So thick eyebrows, thick eyebrows save lives. I think that's the saying. Yeah, who needs to rhyme? Thick eyes save lives.

Ah, there he is. I'm back, baby, I I did it that's our guy how did we get here oh did you small talk eyebrows Mark's hair is getting crazy I don't know that's what it was Mark's hair is getting crazy lettuce here's like how the hell did we start off with hair and eyebrows what are you got Jumanji over there something mark why is it look like you just got back from an ordeal? I don't know but speaking of Jumanji Segway you remember the hunter from Jumanji that guy from the original movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah the original I don't I don't count the sequels. He was also the dad, right? Yeah, actually it was the same person that played the dad Yeah, something about like the guys subcon the kids subconscious like you know yada yada Anyway, I am NOT a gun nut, but there's one

Go on Weapon that has always fascinated me is a lever action rifle, right? And I don't think he had that in the movie But I've always been interested in just a lever action rifle like Winchester lever action Yeah, like clack clack or you know in Terminator 2 when he had the lever action like like Winchester lever action yeah like clack clack or you know in terminator 2 when he had the lever action like shotgun and he went swop just that action of like and then he went poof poof what was that joke from three episodes ago yeah you know i don't know why but it, it's always been a fascination of mine.

Still just like if I, if I do ever get another one, it would be a 22 because I don't need big caliber. I'm not hunting anything. I'm not trying to actually kill anything. It's just for target practice and plinking away and stuff. But doesn't it just fascinate you? The mechanisms of that? Mark, have you ever seen Wild West style competitive shooting? Which one? The one where they leaned all the way over like this and they go no yeah no not quick draw the one where they're I'm thinking of ones where it's like it's a person with two six shooters and they're all like bang bang bang bang and it's just like a target shooting on a range but it's all like You know wild westy looking and they're usually in costume type garb

I probably have seen that Winchester the bar from shot of the dead You know why it was called that because it had a Winchester on the wall. It sure did it sure did and it works No, I would know it would never work. I'll place a bet on it. All right The only thing that's bad about that is you you know, lever actions, the way they- the cool way that they work is you put the bullet in the side, and it goes click-clack-click. It's kind of like loading shotgun shells. Well, in.22s, they don't do that.

What they do is you have to unthread the barrel below the top front barrel, pull out this rod, slide in your bullets one at a time like you're loading BBs but I don't I don't think they make it in the cool way maybe you'll have to get a man's gun if amendment right to have. It's a lever action cannon. Lever action battleship cannon. The boat like transforms to like Megatron

to reload, goes back. You know in Warhammer 40K, it basically is that because in all the future and all the technology there's these ships going through space, they have big cannons and the only way that they're loaded is a bunch of people with like rail tracks and chains lifting up a fucking bus sized Shell load pushing it in like Eve

You have to do that in um space Marines 2 right the start you have to like load a missile you have to load something where You're like oh, I haven't I haven't played it yet. Don't spoil it. No no no spoil it it's boy I didn't know this game that came out like a year ago. That's like the prologue mission. I have been busy Don't worry. It's the very first thing it won't be spoiled It's fine. I understand and then you kill the space emperor later, which one the main one Gary Which one? The main one. Gary. Nooo! Not Gary! I thought his name was Gary. Anyway, that's all I have to say about whatever the hell I was talking about. I have small talk that everyone's gonna be excited for. You know how everyone always shits their pants with glee whenever Mark talks about one of his hyper fixations? Like lenses or render farms. Well, I'm circling back to everybody's favorite Bob obsession. I found the last phone case I'm ever gonna need guys. Oh boy.

Oh boy. This is a phone case that's been out for a while, but they didn't make it for my specific phone, but they do now. And honestly, a little bit, I don't wanna promote it because this company puts really annoying and shitty ads all over every social media platform that I'm on in the entire universe and I don't like them. But they actually made a thing. This is like possibly the best fucking phone case I've ever had. This is the Magback Elite phone

case. This is a little finger loopity doopity. It has a kickstand which is nice and discreet and it like magnets closed It has a dust cover for your little butt plug. These colorful bits are all changeable. Wait pause do your what? What was the other part? It has a dust cover for its little butthole. Okay I thought you said plug plug is definitely butthole. I thought you had a Accessory that goes with the case that's like tied into a butt plug or something like that. I wish that's not made by a man. Anyway, it's just a really great case.

All the colorful bits are changeable. So this was all black when I got it, but you can, and the real kicker is it's magnetic. Well, this is apparently not magnetic metal, but it'll stick to anything. It's got these magnets on it that like pop out a little bit you know very satisfyingly if you had two phones in that case and you try to put them together would they repel each other or attract um probably doesn't matter okay magbacks commercials and

advertising is obnoxious and i hate it but i actually sincerely think this might be Closest to perfection phone case I've ever owned up to this point you wanna know what I did with my phone case I've changed it. What you do. What did you change mark? What happened? I? Just took it off because it was annoying me were you still using quad lock yeah, but I wasn't quad locking anything So I took it off I'm like oh so nice except I forgot how annoying it is to Lay it down because the camera bump is so huge so every time I took it off. I'm like, oh, it's so nice except I forgot how annoying it is to lay it down because the camera Bump is so huge. So every time I lay it down I'm like, oh it's at an angle client crash and the glass is getting scratched up and all kinds of bad stuff

Yeah, that'll happen I have learned that this in the middle of the night is the loudest thing you can do is put your phone on here and then the suction like When you're very carefully you're like just line it up just like and then it's charging yeah no that happens like oh i forgot to plug my phone in but molly and the animals are already asleep i don't want to wake them up i'm just gonna quietly it just says a transformer changes yeah no dude, I actually got one of those that has a silicon edge to it and it's dead silent and it's the best wireless charging MagSafe thing. So awesome. It's obscenely expensive and not

ultimately worth it. But I would love that because man is it almost every time that I forget to put my phone on the charger right away. Especially those Apple ones because they have kind of a rubbery middle but the outer edge is metal and, because they have kind of a rubbery middle, but the outer edge is metal. And if you have any kind of hard phone case, it clangs the shit out of it. I do dislike that. I honestly don't even use wireless charging most of the time anymore. I just plug it in.

It's hard to beat like a 65 watt charger where I'm like, oh, my phone's at 10 percent. And then I plug it in for 20 minutes and it's like, oh, my phone's at 80 percent. Guess I'll not plug it again, plug it in for 20 minutes and it's like, oh, my phone's at 80%. Guess I'll not plug it again, plug it in for another couple of days. It's hard to top that. The wireless charging is convenient, but the fast charging is more convenient. Anyway, I know everyone gets so hype.

They vomit out their souls every time I talk about phone cases, I know it. Well, I'm never gonna talk about it again because this is the only one you need. Also, if we could please stop putting commercials everywhere I go online magmech I'd really love that I feel like somehow more are going to appear because of this hundred percent well cuz I went to their website or I ordered this off their website for their holiday deal thing that they had and I'm definitely gonna

get that in my bad algorithm whatever bullshit is their website the one place you're safe from their own ads no their website is just their ad with a button under it that says buy our shit They pay to advertise on their own site. They don't have to say they don't have to pay they can run the ad endlessly It's free You know if in all honesty we could just do our own ads by going to a website getting a referral link and going Here unless honey steals it all but we can do that mark you were right I was right it was right are you getting every video from every person ever just with marks face saying mark called honey before honey called honey man so many people are just making bank off of me

saying I was right I'm very impressed I have never seen your videos advertised to me as much as other people's videos, as with you and Honey in the title getting advertised to me. I know, I know. I better be in the sequel of that guy's video. He better say, he better say my name. Say my name. I don't think anything else new is going on in my life.

No, the Honey thing, I'm surprised we haven't talked about that though, cause like man, oh man. I've not seen any videos recommended me except for yours, Mark but they're not your videos. They're just you. Thanks, buddy That's how I know I've made it. I've crossed over I will say that was a very good clip for the call out and then what transpired Not to downplay at all your prediction and not to spoil it for everyone else. That's true of everything guys It could not be more true of all this shit

that you think is free online. It's not free, that's the thing, it's not free. We may not ever learn the disappointing details of exactly who is stealing your data and how they are doing it and who is what corporations are stealing money from whom. That's how it all works guys. I'm really sorry to break it to you.

Mark is right about all of the internet I will say though he said in the clip that it would come out in 2022 it's not Mark's fault journalism is so fucking slow okay look it's not my fault also there was a pandemic was that clip pre plant pandemic actually I'm not sure was that pre pandemic when did that clip I don't know when that was but I assumed it was probably either like 2019 or 2020 because you were probably did like in a I'm not sure was that pre-pandemic? When did that clip? I don't know when that was but I assumed it It's probably either like 2019 or 2020 because you were probably did like in a couple years. It'll come out, right? So 2022 kind of apparently it took place in 2020 according to one of the things I saw

I just don't know when in 2020 took place It has to be before what April or to be before like the pandemic shut everything down. That's Pandemic mark that's that's redacted Mark right there. Redacted Mark out here making calls. It's one of his personas. Pandemic Mark, pre-pandemic Mark, pandemic dark, pre-pandemic dark. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Then there's the only fans, pre-pandemic Stark Mark. Oh wow. The lore is ever expanding. I look forward to being right about something else and then people plastering my face all over the internet for me. Yeah, just keep making bold claims and then in a couple years just get that free publicity for everyone who's not you. Is Mark the new Simpsons? I could be. Are you predicting I'll be president in 2028? No. No one's predicting that. I was right

about you not being president. I'm here saying Wade will not be president I hope that age is poorly Wade will be behind bars by 2028 all right let's see what happens for what crime all of them he's he tried to completionist crime tried to speed run all of crime he almost made it lost to the ultimate boss the wall a good small talk i gotta say mark you do have an edge in points right now because of your honey prediction i did give you bonus points for that thank you thank you thank you i being as you can't make any ad revenue on your prediction you at least got points here yeah at least you got points that's pretty good that's

an equal value or equal or greater i like like points. Points are pretty cool. I never know when something I get is like a text I get is like a scam or something, or if it's actually something I need to follow up about. This sounds fake, right? ABF freight. That sounds fake. It does sound very fake. I got one from the USPS.

Fake, fake. I think it was, they wanted me to click a link and I was like, I'm not opening a link. Oh yeah, all these scams are so prevalent nowadays. I thought that we were getting to the point where like spam calls and spam texts are getting not as prevalent, but I guess if they're straight up just stealing from you,

they don't really care what the law actually is. Yeah, I don't think they give two shits. They just infinitely spoof new numbers and whatever and just never give up. I will say of all the people I know who where it's like, oh, is this a scam? Is this not a scam? You actually do order like weird shit from China. You order server parts of anyone I know that for you that could be like,

oh wait, actually, no, that's these processors I bought secondhand from this thing. That's legit, even though these processors. I bought secondhand from a this thing. That's legit even though it does sound like scam It's my new supply of Oobly fruit. I wish no one no one hooked me up unless someone said on the subreddit that it didn't notice No one hooked me up, which means we don't have any listeners in a country that glows grows. Oobly fruit I didn't see it and scour the subreddit, but I didn't see anyone talking about that. No offers. No, which is a damn shame. One of our viewers and or listeners is just sitting on a pile of it and they're like, that's right,

Mark won't ever get any of you my sweet babies. Nom, nom. They eat the sugar. How much sugar would that be equivalent to? A handful of that? Well, see, I don't know how much is in the actual fruit because what is probably just in the fruit is a Minuscule amount of this brazine, but what I have is just a Concentrated amount of it all of the fruit is dead for your bag. I hope so. I hope so I hope so You heard me you heard me. Yeah, right write that down

Who are you this the Sneed guy? We got a Lorax you here? I hope so. Is there a Oobly Lorax? The Oob Lorax? He's just very like animated, like Kramer almost, from Dollar Sugar. He's taking it. I think we're the Oobly! I don't know what you think the Oobly Fruit does to people, but I don't think it does that. It's both full of bruisine and...

Heroin. And... Heroin. I don't think it does that. It's both full of bruisine and heroin. And heroin. It's an interesting plant. I do have an idea today, and I don't know that we really segwayed into it. Kind of, maybe not really. Today, I wanna go over some places, and I want you all to tell me if they are real or fake,

and if they're real, where they are, and maybe even how the name came to be. I got this in the bag. Mark I hate to tell you but your losing streak is gonna continue. Okay that's all part of the plan baby. I predict my losing streak will carry on for as long as I want it to. This might be a really long episode might be a really short episode depends on how this goes. I've got some number of names here. Some number, it's pretty good. All right. So let's start with Eek. I'm just a spider or something. OK, is Eek a real place? A fake place? How is it spelled? E E K.

Eek. Do we vote? Do we go jump in or ding? Sure. You ding. You can go first. Yes. Yes, it's real or fake great answer Yes, it's real Real or fake and I say yes, and that's it Alright Bob, do you think it's real or fake? Okay. Well, that sort of steals my thunder a little bit I'm pretty sure this is a real place. This is a place in Transylvania near the home of Dracula. Eek is right next to

blah. Because it's scary. Yeah. Okay so you both say it's real. Yeah it's a real place. It is real. It is not in Transylvania near Dracula's castle however or if it is I'm gonna even tell you all I've stuck to the United States. Ah. So this is somewhere in the US. So Bob do you want another've stuck to the United States. Ah, so this is somewhere in the US So Bob, do you want another guess for in the US? Okay. Yeah, he gets real it's located in Vermont next to the delightful bro of a mouse

Begrudging smile that was funny Mark, do you agree with that? Look at that begrudging smile, that was funny. Come on! Uh, um, Ike is obviously in Greece, but it's an ancient city that was destroyed. In the USA, in the USA. It's the past tense. Didn't hear that part, and I don't care. Thinking about something else, man, I was thinking about trying to get my answer together, reading your parameters, I don't know, what do you think, I'm a nerd?

Knowing all the rules to your game, I play my own rules to my own game. And it's in Greece in the past, which is why it's past tense. Eek. To be fair, I respect that. Alright, so Vermont and Greece, USA are the two guesses. Ancient Greece, USA. When Greece originally was in the Americas. Before the tectonic plates.

Yeah, mm-hmm. It actually got sucked through the Atlantic Ocean under it and spit it out It also was Atlantis for a brief stint. It was yes it was yeah, but it got pulled real fast Which us state did it get pulled into? No, it doesn't exist anymore. Oh, he's no longer real. Oh, he says city Oh, he's no longer real. Oh, he says city. Dumbass. Hahaha! Did it get pulled into a US state or is it just a floating city somewhere, dumbass? State doesn't exist anymore, obviously.

This is, this is, have you guys, do you guys see always sunny in Philadelphia? A little, not much of it, but a little. Have you seen this sketch where Charlie doesn't understand what a city is? No. Wait, so guys, so I'm in Philadelphia. When do I leave Philadelphia and go into Pennsylvania? No, we're in Pennsylvania right now.

No, we're in Philadelphia right now. And what the hell is Pittsburgh? So on and so forth. I have not. This does feel like that. That's a good bit. It's very funny. Well Mark agrees that uh, Ike is a city in the U.S. formerly ancient Greece, not part of any current states. It's just Ike. It's like a it's like the Vatican city state. It's a bold answer.

Bob I gotta say you're the closest by giving me any U.. Mark, if you'd said any US state west of Vermont, you would have maybe won because the answer's Alaska. Oh. Well, that's not the right place. Alaska is way far away from Greece. It wouldn't make any sense for it to go over there. It would be impossible for it to have been pulled through the entire continental United States.

Yeah, Wade, why don't you think about your answers before you give them? You're great, man. I'll try to do better moving forward. You know, Google's free, Wade. He probably looked at the Google AI thing, though. Yeah, just using AI summaries. That's what we get. Mm-hmm.

I just spelled Eek incorrectly on the points, but I had to fix it. The next one is Ding Dong! I know this one. This is a real place. It's actually kind of part of the Jersey Shore area. You know that meme of that guy who's like, bing bong, fuck your life. That guy from the Jersey. Ding dong is actually the next town over. So this is in New Jersey on the shore. Ah, bing bong, fuck your life. Ding dong, fix your life.

Yeah. No, ding dong is where they go to get their act together. It's a really boring play. Everyone has jobs, very responsible, a lot of white button downs. Everyone drives a Toyota Corolla base model. He's never been more wrong. He's been wrong a lot in his life. He's never been more wrong about this because it's not that reference that he's making. There's another reference that I don't remember what it's about or what it's for

But there was some Russian sounding lady or some Slavic country that goes ding-dong And that's obviously a city in Russia Or some Slavic country I'll take my points So which US state is that now? It's obviously a city in Russia. Very clearly. These are all in the US. Uh uh, nah I don't think so.

You might be wrong about that when you gotta check your facts. Would that be Alaska then? Like Russia and Alaska are basically the same place. Probably a piece that broke off from Russia and migrated over. Oh god. Yes, points please. These are all in the US and you guessed ancient Greece and Russia. You're doing great. I know. Oh god. Yes, points please. These are all in the US and you guessed ancient Greece and Russia.

Another day you're doing great. I know I am. Are you doing great? You seem to be troubled. You know what? I'm just gonna go ahead and say this. I was gonna give you the exact mileage just to make this look even more ridiculous. But Bob, you are once again closest. Alright. Even giving Mark Alaska doesn't get him close enough to Ding Dong, Texas, which is the real place. Texas, you're the new Russia.

I'm sure they'll love that. That's a tourism bureau slogan right there. Mark called honey? He's calling this. Mark was right. Yeah, Ding Dong's in Texas, and I guess that's all I have to say about that. I think I knew that. Of course you knew that, buddy. I think I knew that. That's all I have to say about that. I think I knew that. Of course you knew that, buddy. I think I knew that. That's all I have to say about that. I have no other commentary here.

Sorry, let my inner thoughts out for a second. Let's move on to the next one. Three toes. Three toes. Real or fake and where is it if it's real? Mark, I guess you could answer where it is if it's fake too. Yeah, so ding, New Mexico and obviously it's the sister city of dos ritos where they made doritos. Hey, you know what? That's in the US. He's on the board. I am gonna say this is fake, which is a thing I forgot

we could guess in the last round, I'm not gonna lie. And Wade was literally looking around and was like, I need some fake ones, need some fake ones. And we looked down at his foot and there's a hole in his sock and he could see three of his toes through the hole in his sock. Ah, Fritos! Bob, you're partially correct. It is fake. However, I did not come up with it by looking at my foot. There was a similarly named place elsewhere in the world that made me think of that. Is it Dos Fritos? It was not Dos Fritos. Are you sure it wasn't? Though I could go over some Dos Fritos now, nacho cheese.

Is it Lay's Fritos? Lay's Fritos? No. Where is that at? Uh, in a bag of chips. Correct. The next one is Sweet and Salty. I think he's just damning chips. Yeah, I think Wade just got hungry. I thought this was very fitting after this discussion

to go with Sweet and Salty. These are all typed out on a thing. I know this one. I know this one. Sweet and Salty is real. It's actually located in Kentucky and it is just downstream down the Ohio River from a little town called Deez Nuts.

I'm gonna accept that as a real answer despite the fact that I feel like you just Deez Nutted me and all the audience. What? That is a real... look it up. Deez Nuts Nuts Kentucky a delightful little town located on the Ohio River Okay, Deez Nuts is in Kentucky, but it's a peanut brand not an actual like city I've completely forgotten what their original name of the town was If I go based on my knowledge of the number of real cities that I know Off the top of my head versus real cities that I don't know. The don't know is very larger than the no, so I'm gonna assume this is one that is real, I just don't know it. Because statistically, that's the more likely outcome.

Okay, where is it? In our hearts. Miss you big city, whatever your name was. Sweet and salty. Yep, that was it. You got it. Congratulations So Bob guesses, Kentucky you guess in our heart Hey, our hearts are in the United States. So Sweet and salty is also fake. I did already have it on my list though It just happened to fit after the chips discussion technically, I guess marks the closest by guessing in our hearts

But the thing I guessed includes a real company in the correct state. Not in this correct state of sweet and salty. Where the correct state for the company. The company, yes. Believe me, you got points for Dee's nuts with an S because her name is apparently Dee. Yeah, it's Miss Dee ranged and it's her nuts.

So if I guess a company and I know what state it's in do I get points? No Okay, I feel like I just did what isn't that a Wade thing? Okay, I'm rubbing off on you. That's alright Let's go with bald head. I think that's a real place. Isn't that a real place in California? I'm not gonna answer that right away bald head is definitely a real place and Since we all know bald head mostly lives in Wade's basement. I'm gonna say Cincinnati, Ohio Home is where Wade's head is It is real it's not Cincinnati, Ohio as far as I know it's not in California. There are two bald heads that I know that are real

There's bald head island, which I think is in North Carolina, and there's Bald Head, Maine. Maybe that's where I know Bald Head from, because when I went to, wait, North Carolina or South Carolina, did you say? Bald Head Island, I believe, is in North Carolina. Never mind, I have no association with that. Bald Head is in Maine.

I think it's named after a cliff in Maine, but I guess Bob was closest with Ohio's closer than California to both of those. Now he knows his geography. I told you Mark, I told you. I got this locked in. Bob's strategy, pick a Midwestern state. Mark's strategy, maybe go in the USA. Hey listen, Mark's is really gonna pay off eventually. You just got to commit. Oh, I'm going to sink this one into the basket. I'm not going to sink it like a boat sinking. What about no name?

I actually feel like I might know where this is. I feel like no name is a place in Nevada. It's a real place in Nevada. I swear to God, I drove past it, because I drove from California to Ohio, we moved cross country. I swear to God, I remember seeing that and being like, oh, that's funny.

I think he's right. It's somewhere around there. I'm gonna say Arizona just because for differences, but I swear also, I have also driven through someplace and seen a sign for no name. If it's in California, I'm gonna be real pissed It is real. It is not in Nevada. It is not in Arizona. That's not good. It is in Colorado Oh, that was my second thought that was in Colorado, but that makes sense

I don't actually know if it's closer to Nevada or Arizona. I think it should be Nevada it's pretty close to both. You have to go through Utah to get to Nevada, whereas you just have to go through most of Colorado to get to the point where it touches Arizona. Oh yeah, no, actually it would be closer. I forgot Utah existed. I forgot Utah was in between this.

I think it's technically closer to Arizona, but it's closer than you'd think. All right, this is interesting because No Name is not a city, though. No Name is what's known as a census designated place, which is purely a concentration of population. It is not incorporated as a city itself, but the population is 117 it runs a lot of its stuff out of Glenwood Springs like its Municipality and government any kind of government kind of defaults to Glenwood Springs. I don't even know if it counts as a city though Do you want the point or not bitch? I'll take it not I don't want it. I do man new year

Marcus Wade for some reason I want you you to decide, Mr. Judge. But it also- this is the truth. I believe in facts, and it is not a city as a census designated place. Is it- is it like an unincorporated village or anything, technically? Is it- There's a step above it known as a coterminous municipality, which is below cities, towns, and villages. So it's actually below even like a associated city from another one. It is purely, the census was like, some people live here, I ain't got a name for this shit.

No name. Probably is how that went down. But I don't know. There's a fourth level below it, which is ward. You could divide a city into wards, I think. Yeah, isn't that like a big thing in like New Orleans? Isn't there a bunch of different wards and stuff? Yes, I think so, yeah.

How that city is divided up. Next one is Boring. It's real? That's New Mexico. It's probably one of the Dakotas. I'm gonna go with one of the Dakotas. You can have both. I'll give you both Dakotas. Boring is realist of the Dakotas. You can have both. I'll give you both Dakotas. Boring is realist in the Dakotas I feel like this is another one where I feel like oh wait do I know this from a Ben Fold song? According to Ben Folds boring is in Illinois

All right, so we have Illinois or just the Dakotas. Congrats Mark You get the point because boring is in Oregon, which is closer to the Dakotas than it is, Illinois Oh, so I wasn't even remotely close more like Oregon. You were more Relatively close than Bob. I fine. Thank you for asking Ben Fold Folds lied to me, I just wanna throw that out there. I found that Golconda is in Illinois, if that helps you, Bob. Golconda, this guy. How many points is that worth to me?

I'll give you half a one. All right, I'll take it. Our next city is Splat. I know this one. This is a real place, but not a real city, because Splat is the name of the, uh, the area that is in Nickelodeon's defunct theme park in Orlando, where there was a lot of like the green goopy stuff.

The splat zone or whatever the whole, it was called. It's, it's what they referred to. It's not an actual city. So it's no, it's not real, but it is the place in the, uh, defunct Nickelodeon studios theme park. Okay. So it's like, it's no it's not real but it is the place in the defunct Nickelodeon Studios theme park because it's like it's like it's like a place within a theme park so splat is a city in Russia which means that it's not real it comes from splat therefore it is fake not a real city you're both right splat is fake not a real you're both right splat is fake but i guess bob's closest because he's somehow still in the usa no no man mark is really trying to go on a journey and wait is just not coming with over here he can go on the journey he's just not gonna get boys for being in russia

oh no you triggered dog mode Russia No, you triggered dog mode What's that Timmy's trapped in the well. I remember the Wizard of Oz sequel with the depressedly lion Put me down. Put me down. Put me down. The next one. Dinosaur! Oh, Mark goes first. Sorry. You have the stage. I have the floor.

Everybody get on the floor! Everybody open the door! Get on the floor! Everybody do the dinosaur! Fake. I'm not going to say where it is that it's fake cuz that hurts my chances if I said that in our dreams and it's actually fake I'm gonna be screwed hey you actually got points for in our hearts the one time well this one is not in our dreams it's just fake just like the dinosaurs

themselves all fake damn I thought you were gonna start collecting bones at one point. Dinosaur is clearly real. It is located somewhere, I believe, in Idaho. And it's actually just a municipality with a population of one. There's this guy, Schroderich Benter, who believes very firmly that the current interpretation of what dinosaurs look like and how they sounded is scientifically inaccurate. So he's made his own sort of facsimile of Jurassic Park, but they're all like models and animatronics and stuff.

But he has called his municipality Dinosaur. Dinosaur is real. It's a statutory town in Colorado, not too far from no name. Colorado needs to figure their shit out. What's going on in Colorado? What the hell is this? I feel like I'm not doing well. I am a geographical savant, Mark. You never stood a chance. Who's going first this time? Is it Bob going first this time? Yes. I'm going to say it before you say anything. Real. Okay. Real Washington state. Give it to me. He's looking at your monitor and the reflection of your head. Ban him. You need to buff your head so it's not so shiny. He said real. He said Washington

Washington state. Mark to you. Last chance. Is that the name of the town? Yes. Last chance. That sounds like a town in Washington. But I'm gonna call that real and it's in Kansas because it's the last chance to turn back before you get to the hell hole that is the West. Damn. Just a liberal wasteland over here you get. Where everybody owns pussy guns and buys healthy bullets.

So, last chance, there might be one apparently as well in California, but the last chance I have here is last chance Iowa, which is very close to Kansas. GASP Yo, why didn't we know where Iowa was? No, I know generally where Iowa is. I just have no concept of how wide Montana is. Montana and the Dakotas are like nine states wide. They're like, there's, I have no idea how far away Washington is from Iowa, but I know

they're up there. Is there a last chance in Colorado as well? God damn it, Colorado. You should have just done all of them in Colorado, that would have really showed us. Apparently. There's also apparently a last chance California. But I believe it's further from Washington than the last chance Iowa is from Kansas. So I'm gonna give that one to Mark. Yay, I think I got one!

He's taunting me. No. Yes, maybe. Taunting will get you everywhere. Not! Fuck, he always gets me with that one. God damn it. Mark, you go first. Do you want to answer before I give this out?

Or do you want to actually hear it? I want all of the information. It's definitely going to help my guess. Accident! This one, two other cities had a broken condom when they were making a baby city. I was like, I don't want you, I don't want you, you were an accident and then they was like, I'm accident

and then became a city if that was true, where would it be? which is where's the unwanted city or state? probably Florida if we're gonna be perfectly honest, yeah it's gonna be Florida or New Jersey Florida, yes Florida Florida yes Florida accident Florida okay Bob I'm gonna say no this is a fake place Wade tried to type Aspen Colorado and it got auto corrected to accident because he wasn't even close so

this is not a place it's just a typo that's fair but wrong accident is in Maryland which isn't very close to Florida, but it's closer than fake. It's not very far away from your keyboard where my accident happened. That's how James was made? It was not an accident. I was.

My mom likes to remind everyone at every opportunity. Yeah, I just assume every kid's an accident because I think I was too. I always just thought babies were a surprise like, oh god, my water broke. It's like, you're pregnant? They don't have to be like that. Do you have a deep voice when you were born? Hey, mama, I'm hungry. No, he was like a Pokemon. He came out the womb. Baby, baby, baby. We got to name him quicker. That's going to stick. I went wah and like, wah, what a great name. That's what I call ya. Bob, to you.

Okay. This is real. It's a town in Oklahoma because then their town is okay, okay. And they thought that would be real funny. It's not, but they thought it would be funny. So that's what they went with. Okay. Okay.

Mark, how is it spelled? O-K- would be funny. So that's what they went with. OK. OK. Mark, how is it spelled? OKAY. So it's Russian. Canadian, because it ends in A. OKAY is a real city in the heartland of Ohio, because when everyone thinks of Ohio, they go OKAY. OKAY. I, oh. I'm not even gonna say it, when everyone thinks of Ohio, they think,

that's okay, I guess. And then when everyone thinks of Ohio, they go, okay, Ohio. Oh, you wanna go on a vacation to Ohio? Okay, okay. Bob, I gotta tell ya, you get two points for being exactly right. Okay, Oklahoma.

Yes! That would've been my guess as well, but he took it, so, and I can't steal his, but whatever. You could've just guessed the same thing. No one, there's no rule against it. No, I can't, no, no, it wouldn't be a guess. Next time, Mark is correct, that was gonna be my guess too, so I...

I get the no. How is he seeing into the future like that? How is it possible? I am premonish. I'm premon premonoting prenotion. I'm about to premonition I'm premming. I'm premming Have I done this one yet truth or consequences? No, ding it is real. It is absolutely 100% real and it is in New Mexico. I've said that before.

It is real. Either that or Texas. I can't remember. Which one's your guess? It's in New Mexico. It's in New Mexico. Okay, Bob. This is fake.

Calling it right now. If it's not fake, I guess what Mark guesses. It's real and it's in New Mexico. Yes! Mark, two points. Because we've driven through it, or next to it. There's a sign that says truth or consequences and we always look at and go like that can't be real and it's real I will say though Bob said the next time you were right, he would steal your answer

So therefore Bob's also right and gets two points I don't think we have to lend truth to that you didn't say no to it when he offered it up though And as the host I find it hilarious He offered it up though. And as the host, I find it hilarious. I retroactively go back in time and steal all of his points. No, we already did that episode. Damn. That's a different episode.

All right, I got a couple more here, then we'll wrap up. Let's go with Sugarland. Well, I know Sugarland is a cupcake shop in North Carolina because I used to live by it So I'm assuming that must be based on the very real Sugarland city. It's like Niagara Falls. There's like sugar land US and sugar land Canada but the one you're talking about is on the US side of the Minnesota border with Canada. Sugarland, Minnesota, okay. Sugarland is not real because Sugarland is probably some city in an amusement park that

someone wants like Disney wants to be real, but no matter how much they try, it's not actually incorporated as a city. Sugarland's real and it's in Texas. God damn it. Sugarland is a city just southwest of Houston, Texas. We've all been to Houston. We did a show there. That's true. Wasn't that the first city we went to and I said, Oh, thank you, Dallas!

Was that that or was it vice versa? I can't remember. We walked out, you said thank you Dallas, and Ethan went, Oh, hello Houston. It's so good to be here in the tune and then everyone clapped. Yep. Everybody loves him for it So Bob, I guess you get the point Minnesota is basically Texas is what we're learning It's the Texas of the north really I think that's how Minnesotans would refer to themselves last one mark I think you go first on the last one, right? Yes, ag. Aglo. Aglo?

Aglo. I'm gonna go fake, but only for the reason that we haven't had a fake in a while. I'm not gonna, out of curiosity, if it's fake and you had to give it a location, where would you give it? Rushwood. All right, Bob.

All right, I know this one. This is a real place and you're mispronouncing it. It's pronounced Aglow. It's actually a small city outside of Boston where Paul Revere put two lamps in the church because it was bicy and the lamps were aglow in the tower of the church. My God, he might be right. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Bob, I hate to tell you, but it's fake. Mark, I hate to tell you, but it's real. Wait. Aglow is both real and fake. This was a fun little story I came across while researching all of this. Aglow is totally made up. It became real, and then strangely undid itself and became fantasy again. What happened was there was no town in New York between Rockland and the nearby Beaver Kill.

So somebody took a map and made a fake place on the map called Aglo. Ultimately, long story short, even on Google Maps at one point this showed up but it became real for a minute. But why? I don't remember. Otto G. Lindberg, director of the General Drafting Company, made a roadmap of New York State out of the way dirt road they created a totally fictitious place called Aglo. Name was blah blah blah blah. Years later Rand McNally, a famous map company, issued its own New York State map guess what? Right there in the same place was the name Aglo. And this was all a ploy,

I guess, to sue the map maker for taking their map and copying it. So they made a fake place, assuming that a map maker would steal their map and make it. Ahhhhh. In the spot called Aglo, there was a building, allegedly called the Aglo General Store and it had to be real otherwise where would the owners get the name? So someone had bought the map and saw where Aglo was supposed to be and named their store after that place but then that didn't last the store closed and Aglo disappeared it was taken off the map. So someone bought one of these fake maps or got their hands on a fake map saw there was supposed to be a place

called Aglo, opened a store there thinking people would see Aglo on a map and stop by, thereby making Aglo temporarily real and then it became fake again when the store closed because there is no Aglo. Well, New York is basically Boston so I feel like I was pretty close on location. But at one point, Google had Aglo on their Google Maps, which was an 80 year old fake place until it was pointed out and they finally removed it. So anyway, it is real and fake, but Bob guessed closer with Boston than Russia. One of these days Russia's gonna get me there. One of these days. Is there, hold on, you know, what if I'm getting punked? What if there's like a Russia USA and it's just close to somehow everything? Definitely, definitely check that out.

Oh my God, there is a Russia Ohio. There's a Russia New York. Mark, I'll give you a bonus point for Russia. I meant everything that you're thinking every single time. All right, let me calculate the points. It's more than three to two this time. Bob, I'll go over your points first. I feel good about that. That's probably fine. You got half a point for Goland or whatever the fuck the name of that thing was. Last phone case, butt plug. Eek, a mouse. Lorax. Eek,

spelled incorrectly. Ding dong. Brito's fake. Deez nuts. Bald head, splat, stole two points or copied really. Sugar land, okay Oklahoma, dinosaur Idaho, nope Colorado for a total of 17 and a half points. That feels like almost all of them. I'm not gonna have to be honest. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. That's that was a lot That feels like a lot of points. I had a feeling I wasn't doing so good and maybe my feelings are true Mark you got points for thick eyebrows Jumanji you got points plural for mark called honey Extinct oobly fruit three toes Toes New Mexico, No Nap, No Name, that's probably No Name, Sweet and Salty,

Put Me Down, Accident, Last Chance, Tra and Con, Truth and Consequences. Oh, okay. My pen was dying, so like half of this has faded out as well as Shiddily Hittin'. And then I think points for Fusion. Oh, Russia, Russia. Russia.

Ah! That's the R. The R did not finish there. Well, that was a lot. He said a lot. So I think you should be worried, Bob. I think you should be worried. That was more than I was hoping you would get.

I don't know numbers, but I got a bad feeling about these numbers. Bob, you finished with 17 and a half points. Mark, you finished with 16 points How did he get a half a point? If you didn't let him steal my points! Oh, yeah, if he hadn't got to steal those too I also gave you points for Russia even though the whole fucking time I told you it was in the USA

Well look man, it might have been you might have been trying to trick us immediately you were like I was like Oh, let me tell you guys they're all in the USA and your first guess was ancient Greece after that See, I didn't catch that part thinking about something else. You really are me today. Oh Bob you're our winner. Would you like to give a winner speech? I didn't really expect this. I gotta be honest I think mark played a tough game today And if I hadn't been allowed to blatantly cheat honestly, I think Mark outplayed me But it's not cheating if you don't get caught so in reality I outplayed Mark and that's as real as three toes

Texas or wherever the fuck that was so congratulations to me. I'm the greatest and Getting away with cheating always feels good. You learned your lesson kids. Cheating feels great. As long as you do it right. Mark, loser speech. This is why it's so important to read the instructions before you start anything. I can only think of the time when there was someone that made a post about how their teacher or a teacher or something wrote a big long instructional paragraph on the first full page of a test

and it said, it gave all these instructions at the very bottom or in the middle somewhere it said like, if you read this line you'll know that you only need to like skip all the questions and only answer the last question or something like that and no one read through the instructions, it was a test So I should have listened to the instructions when they occurred But all of this was part of my plan to never win an episode this entire year That way I don't have to come up with ideas to host and we don't have to Let me be in charge ever again. That was my plan special edgy

You know, that was a great loser's speech If only you had been told after ancient Greece multiple times they were in the US and still didn't follow those instructions, but instructions do help. Stubbornness is a trait of this podcast. We dig our heels in, period. You know what, Mark, I'll give you a point for that,

but you still lose. As I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't change. Well, that was it. If you guys played along with us, what was your score? How many of these did you get correct? Can you prove that a place that I thought I made up is in fact real?

Is there more than one of the locations and maybe did I get things wrong? It's possible, but from my research that I did within 10 minutes, because I didn't expect the host again today was not perfect, then oh well. I'm the host and I declare it's okay. There okay thereby righting me of any wrongdoing I may have had congrats to Bob well-thought Mark good episode and Mark honestly you calling honey might be the biggest win of all hopefully some people out there listen

to you yes follow us Bob at my skirm mark at markiplier me at minion777 or lord minion777 merch maybe one day. Until then, podcast out.