Distractible - World Record (Today)

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

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Available now on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and S and PC. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Bresty Bob, Mother To Wool, and Pizza Plunderer. The Jens' Guinness Book Entries. Magisterial Mark has a crushing catastrophe. Admits I for Intel, has extended expulsions, and wows on wow. Wedding Watcher Wade has Hobbit Horror, wipes out wings, pulverizes pinkies, and wrizzes, raid.

From a defined structure to Tyler's Bulls. Ha ha ha ha, ha, ha, s. It's time for world record. Today. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello, and welcome back to another exciting episode of Distractable, the coolest podcast that's ever lived. That's right, Distractable is not just a show that you watch or listen to. It is a living, breathing creature.

That's why we have to be here. We have to nurture it. We're the caretakers. We feed it of our breasts, and we make sure that it gets all the love and support that it needs in this world. I'm your host slash Earth Mother, Bob. I'm joined today by my co-hosts slash competitors, Mark and Wade. Hi. Why are you making a face like that?

That's the same intro I always do. I'm making, I'm smiling, I'm doing a soft smile. Oh, good. I have a terrible memory, so I don't remember that ever being your intro before, but I believe you. every single time I've always done it the same it's very carefully structured if you've ever seen the show before

all of that stuff I just said is true also there's going to be points and whoever gets the most points and or least points depending on what happens at the end of the episode host the next one because they shall be declared the winner and that's it it's like that one show with

that other fat guy who wears glasses everything's made up and the points don't matter there's another one it was on TV something about Oh, big fan of Cleveland. Oh, the French one. Land Destracta. Whatever.

How are you guys doing? You got any small talk? Yeah, but are you going to let me talk about it? Have I not been letting you talk? Was I domineering you? Remember, remember. Listen, you have to tell me if I'm talking too much, okay? Don't just let me stamp all over you.

I'm trying to create a little bit space here. Shut up. What's up, buddy? Oh, this. saddest. The sadness is abound. I had a devastating, devastating, devastating blow to my

happiness. That's great. Opposite. That's not great. It's one of these. I'm going to text you guys a picture, but beware. It might be the saddest picture you've ever seen in your guys' life. I'll get to the editors after it too, but prepare yourselves. Is it a picture of the battery dying in my Switch 2

while I'm playing Pokemon? Worse. Oh. Oh. That is very sad. Oh, Lord. Yeah. What happened? Listeners and watchers who were not showing the picture to. What we're looking at is electronics, but broke. Wait, you could see the ass end is cracked. But what happened to the front? Would you try and install it with a sledgehammer? I don't know why I didn't think that this would happen. You know, I told you guys about this GPU that I bought this really. really expensive one that I was like, oh, but it's so powerful and good. No.

That's not that, is it? I told you this was the saddest story. Oh, man. Can I like Venmo you a hug? Wait, wait, wait. Did you do it or did someone else do it, though? It's halfway in between, but I should have. It's the responsibility is on my shoulders because I brought it with.

me to my undisclosed location. So I took my whole computer, packed it up, put foam in there and everything. I had it sealed up in a Pelican case. I was like, okay, if there's ever a place for this to be safe, it's going to be here, right? I packed it in a way and I didn't even think about where the computer would be like if the front of the computers here, I said it in sideways is in the back of the computers here where the GPU sits, where when you lift the thing, it's hanging this way. So I just think of every time I picked up my Pelican case and dropped it on the ground, the GP went that way in that direction.

That's why there's a split right there is because it was just on the PCI Express Lodges. So I can't even really blame TSA. Not all the foam in the world couldn't have stopped the tiny amount of movement that it had, which is like it barely moved a few millimeters but that's enough over time over a whole travel to another state to crack that big enough no that sucks

however there is a possibility that it could be repaired it's just the PCI express slot and that's bad but that is a standard part it's part of the board so I think they would still have to get a whole new donor board for that card but it's possible for it to get to be repaired. I'm hoping.

Oh, yeah, that looks fixable. It's worth it. I'm sure to get it repaired versus buying a new one, so fuck. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't mean to text high. My phone just did that.

You texted high. I don't know. My phone just said high, but it did. This is how little my friend cares. Jesus Christ. I just say it. I don't know. I'm gonna send you the saddest picture of my, I.

It's just like, it's not even like an awe, man. It's just, that is so dismissive of that. I appreciate it. Oh, fuck. So you probably made it all the way. Like, you were bringing that with you to, like, a specific place. You made it all the way into where you were going to get your computer back out. And you were like, oh, here we go, set it up.

Did you like turn it on and then something bad? Or did you, when you opened your Pelican where you're like, wait, what the fuck? I had no idea until I turned it on because it, turned it on and none of the monitors turned on and I was like oh what's going on the whole thing's lighting up everything else is working and I I opened it up I'm like don't look weird and then I unscrew the graphics cars like maybe something happened there I hear a crunch as I pull it out oh no turn it over I'm just like oh no hi maybe it was a supportive high maybe it really depends on the intonation of it you know yeah you really kind of get the

Like he's Ledger's Joker Waving to Harvey did, hi. Oh, man. Yeah. Say hi to pay your respects. Oh, my God. Yeah, so to remind everyone at home, that card cost me. I don't want to say. I mean, it's already out there.

That's going to... I know. I just don't want to say it again because if I can't repair it's $8,500 was that card. That card is more expensive than the most expensive tower I've ever built entirely. Yeah. Oh. Hi. I heard words from the guy at the post house I'm at right now.

He used to have a travel case for his DIT setup, which is like they ingest the footage off set. It's not the guy you use met. It's another guy. And he had these two cards that were specifically for red footage and a few others that are like for very specific ingesting. um tsa for some reason opened up his case ripped those cards open like the cover off and we're looking inside i don't know hi that's just a murder that's not an accident that's terrible yeah i don't remember what the price of those were back in the day but it was not cheap uh so yeah that's more like hi and marks this more like hi i see it on a website and this is probably

what it used to be or this is probably the more recent price but not what it used to be $6,750 for a new one of those now which they don't even you don't even need it anymore and he had two of them and I'm sure they were substantially more uh maybe not substantially but they were more some is it hampering your what you were going to do or are you just like using another computer or something and just sad about it weirdly enough I was able to get everything I needed to do for now done with the integrated GPU, which is another thing where I'm like, everyone was sleeping on these Intel processors, this latest generation, because it got like a few frames lessen gaming.

They're fucking productivity beast these things. I was using the integrated GPU and I was able to scrub, at least scrub my timeline. It's not like my MacBook where, you know, I can actually edit the movie purely on that, but it was keeping up just fine. I was able to go through what I needed, render out footage, export files. I forgot the Intel has like these features probably all the Intel haters out there are just like

but I'm dude don't don't be don't be stuck on one manufacturer hey a good card is a good card this is a good card so yeah it saved by ass yeah it really did I have always thought that was silly that people pick teams like

the brand of whoever whatever a large company makes your processor your GPU is like use the best most cost efficient one who gives a shit yeah it's gonna it has gone back and forth one has dominated the other has done Like, whatever.

If it's good, it's good. How wonderful is that? Get him! Got him! Have you ever actually talked about how much the hate was during that ad campaign? And that's the only thing the subreddit talked about for two weeks. It was like they played one thing and it replaced the points out of it very bad. Am I weird for liking it?

Like, I liked the noise. I think you just like it because it pissed people off. Like, you're... I didn't know it at the time. You're exactly the... dude yeah but that's you it is kind of you you i know that part of you is like oh everyone hates that god i love that i didn't know they hated it whenever i first liked it but also the fact they hated it i kind of liked i'm not that's that's true but separate i don't get that either for

anyone who's lacking context we did a sponsored thing and it like mark said they were there was a line that we said in like every episode for a month or something and uh because it was like a segment basically and uh and they replaced the point sound, which I don't even know if we still do point sounds very consistently because we don't really say like, that's a point. It's like a secret. That's true. You guys already have points.

I haven't said shit. That way I can make it up and make whoever win that I want. Anyway, I don't know why it was so hated, but that was wild. What time to be alive? Was that like 23? Oh yeah, it was like two years ago maybe. For the record, there's many things about Intel that I have big gripes about. how can Intel literally make Thunderbolt and it doesn't fucking work on Windows platforms where

their chips are? I don't get that. Look, I got it to work after reinstalling the drivers 10,000 times on one computer, but on the Dell computer that I got with like the Intel workstation card, they have an ad in Thunderbolt. Doesn't fucking work. I can't get it to work at all. Nothing. I, like, I'll install the driver, get something to plug in work. I'll reboot it once gone. Drivers just annihilated them. so I don't know they got they got some work to do there but that's some very early 2000s computer shit I remember when every every computer was just like that where it's like every time you you turn it off turn it back on it's like what thing is just fucking blown out of existence now

how many how many times am I going to have to reinstall audio drivers before I hear my computer make a sound again I love 2008 in or unrelated note this past weekend I went down to Appalachia like the Appalachian Mountains in Kentucky near Red River Gorge and it was beautiful, beautiful wedding, perfect weather, beautiful ceremony drive down was really, really pretty it was like we got down there kind of like

close to sunset, and it was really pretty in the mountains going through at that time. Ceremony went out without a hitch. We all gathered up for like the reception and then it was time for dinner. And dinner, delicious, perfect. But I didn't quite get enough to fill me up.

It seemed like they were running low on someone, like they had a salmon and they had like a pasta which i always thought was bold to have like fish at a wedding i love fish but a lot of people don't so like whenever we did our wedding i was like i don't know if we'll serve fish because you know so many people are kind of picky about it they had salmon and it was so good but i was i finished up and i was like man i could go for a little bit more food but you know it is what it is what it is like an hour or two later we're like wrapping up getting ready because we had to drive all the way back to Cincinnati was like two and a half three hour drive and we're getting ready to leave and mollie's like

i'm surprised you didn't get another plate of food and i was what do you mean they never called for seconds or anything like oh no but they were like it was there you could have gotten so much more food and it was some of the best food oh i don't know i guess maybe just driving having like fast food for lunch and driving all that way it hit so well it was like southern cooking or whatever i could have had seconds it's almost as bad as losing a $10,000 graphics card not having seconds i thought that was going to like the the fish was going to make you sick no it's perfect for the big reveal invaluable piece of technology through accidental whoopsie-dos. And Wade didn't eat more food at his fancy wedding party.

It was the worst wedding ever. They did not hand-feed me secondsies. I can't believe this. You're busy all dancing and stuff, and I was there hungry. Normally whenever you guys have like something great or terrible, I can't really relate. But this time, I really feel like we were on par. Yeah, we're on the same. Hi.

Hi, my friend. Hi. Yeah. Honestly, if we were having a competition of whose story is sadder, I'm leaning just ever so slightly towards Wade, I think. It's very close. It's understandable. I get it.

It would have been perfect. Everything was so perfect and lovely. The drives went smoothly. Great. The guy that left a four star at that wedding review. He was so beautiful, so happy for them. I didn't even know how you showed up for this recording session I would be curled up in bed

Those man, those mashed, there was like a red skin mashed potato Just a little bit more of that in the corn and green beans would have Jeff's kiss really They probably just threw it away They probably had so much they were like Ah, feed the possums or whatever animals they have in Appalachia It was probably at least like $30 worth of food Imagine wasting or losing $30 worth of something

And it was someone else is $30 you didn't even get the $30 no did did Molly get seconds I didn't ask but oh my god if she did and hadn't shared it in that moment man I hope she did I just know you guys were sitting there eating your first plate

and she leaned over and was like hey I'm gonna get one more thing do you want anything and you were just like oh my god I'm weeping from the deliciousness of this food don't talk to me woman and she was like all right I'm gonna I was just gonna okay and she went and got

another plate and you didn't even notice. No, no, she got up for a drink, right? It was a drink. Uh-huh. You get drinks and plates in the, you got two hands. She's two hands, right? Last time I checked, I guess I've not seen her in the last few hours. Things could have changed.

Man, I have never been so down in the dumps in my entire life, both of you. Strong stuff. How could we recover? Crazy happenings. Let's get weird for a sec. Imagine if your furniture could handle all the wild and burglar. ridiculous moments life froze at you. For example, what if your couch grew and grew and grew and grew until it enveloped your entire house? Sounds like a really specific to you fantasy that

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And Uber knows that. Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered. It's showing up no matter what. I think that might be them knocking on the door because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are. Dude, them are the FBI. I'm not 100% sure. Yep.

When it really matters, whatever it is, you show up. Or there's a will. We're on our way. Uber on our way Download the app today Well Perhaps my planned episode The Competition Battle Royale

For today's thing Will bring us all back To the joyous Happy Times Or man fucking something I'm so sad I can't even talk anymore Am I crazy or is there a shadow Appearing on the bed behind me

Is there somebody moving Did you see that? I'm here there. Do you see that or is it? I am seeing that. Is someone over there? I think that's like

artifacting. God, I hope so. Because I'm looking at a wall and I'm like, I don't know. Mark an inch away from the wall. Like, hey, guys. Anyway, guys, if you change the time frame enough,

we've all been the best in the entire world at something. And specifically, Mandy had this thought, and I want to talk about this. Every day, there is someone who jumped the highest in the world, ran the fastest in the world, whatever, took the biggest shit.

Like every day, every 24-hour period, there is like one person who is the best at any given thing, right? Somebody did take the biggest shit. That's crazy. I want to talk about things that we think we might hold the single day

record for I got it And I have Oh Mark's ready All right Pee and pissing My God I cannot stop pissing

I swear to God Because I've been drinking A gallon a half a day I don't need to drink that much Ben doing it Can't stop pissing My body has not adapted There is no adaptation happening

I'm thirstyer than ever Because I think my body is shunting it all out of me and people say that's what you're supposed to do but I swear one of those times I was just like I don't know what happened to me I just could not get in a scenario

where I could get to a bathroom like on a convenient time and then I got a bathroom and it long has pissed my entire life unbelievably long over a minute over a minute that's too long

it was too long over just a minute of constant pee that's Austin Powers level dude I could not fathom how long it was taking and you know how he knows was a minute because I've been wearing my watch and I'm able to look at the seconds

pass by. I knew exactly. I didn't know exactly but I knew it was over a minute because I only started checking my watch after. It's been going on for so long. Are we talking like full blast? Do you like trickling for a minute? I needed to change pants after this. You know when a damn opens up and it's just the slu-skate

going, that's usually me and that was me then too but you know, still a long time. Were you like an unbelievable agony before this? Or was it just like... No, that's a thing. It was like... Because that's crazy.

I kind of just realized after a while, like, oh, man, I really got to go. Had it go. So I think that day I had the longest piss. That's very possible. I'm going to say you did. Unless anyone can prove it without us giving them the date or the exact length of your piss. I'm going to say that you hold that record on that day. Longest consecutive, consecutive, concurrent, longest nonstop piss?

Continuous. Continuous, that's a good word. Long as continuous, piss. It was before I came out here, so it was like three days ago or something. I was going to give you guys like a second to think, because I think I have one, and I honestly think it's verging on impressive outside the scale of 24 hours.

Like, it's probably a 36 to 48-hour record. I was in high school, and I was in marching band, and there was a tradition that the tubus section would go and eat some nasty food to see if we could make someone throw up during the halftime show. And the band directors did not think it was very funny, but the two-boot section did think it was very funny. And we went to a Cici's pizza, which is honestly not nasty food, but like you can eat a lot of pizza. It's a pizza buffet. All you can eat pizza buffet, very American.

And I ate 26 slices of Cici's pizza. Oh my God. In one session. I'm not going to say it was fast because we were there for a while, but I just actually ate 26 slices of pizza and before that day I was skinny as a rail and I've looked like this ever since. But I swear to God, I hold the record for the most pizza eaten on that one day. Like I have to, right? Unless there was some pizza eating contest, which that happens, but it's not like every day there's a pizza eating contest. Okay, 26 slices. How many pizzas is that?

I think Cecees makes large, eight-slice pizzas, or maybe medium-eight-slice pizza. I think there are eight slices. So that's a solid three-and-a-half pizzas. A little more than three pizzas, not three-and-half. And it wasn't just like plain cheese or anything either. C-Cees often has like mac and cheese pizza, meat lovers, ones that with like a lot, like, supreme with lots of veggies and loaded up and stuff. I just had whatever I wanted.

and I had all kinds. I probably, that's probably a record, right? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I ate 37 chicken wings when watching a UC-UK basketball game back in the day. And I don't think 37's probably anywhere close to a record. 26 slices of pizza might be. It's not a bad number of wings.

Pizza does not sit well with me, so the thought of eating more than like four or five slices makes me feel actually ill. I mean, it's really heavy. It's very bready, doughy. I honestly, like I double-tracked because I, I was telling that story once, and I was like, wait, 26. Do I mean 16?

26 is, sources confirmed. Third parties have verified. Seems like a lot of people. Like, I could still eat put away food pretty good. That seems like a lot. I don't think I could do that. A lot of pizza. Be a bad idea.

Anyway, Wade, what were you going to say? So we have Dick level record, mouth level record. I'm going to go all the way down to the feats. Dick, Dick level record? You had the Piss record Oh Mark's record is dick level Got it

I pee out of my belly button Sir Please I had a 24 hour period I'm pretty sure Where I stubbed my toes I think four times Three on the left

And one on the right My pinky toe specifically And it all started Whenever I was taunting Molly She gave me this like Sound thing I think for I think it was her

That gave me a sound thing For Christmas And it had this like I'd press the button It would go Do do do do do do do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do and she was like playing a video game or doing something streaming and I came

and was like I said some stupid joke and then played that and like went to run away like an asshole and went pinky toe first into the door frame and something happened after that slam where I just fucking forgot how to walk because then like I in the same actual day hit that same toe again on a different spot and then while trying to be careful with that when I was going up a staircase and I don't know how going up a staircase I did this but my right foot apparently was going up like this and pinky toe right into the wooden top stair

to get the other foot and then I started like fucking cursing and spitting and hit the other one trying to balance that one out going up the stairs again what kind of bow-legged ass 45 degree walk you making up the stairs I don't know what happened to me

but I stubbed my left Pinky toe three times and my right pinky toe once it was in the evening the first day in like the earlier part of the second day so it was over two days but it was of one 24 hour span probably even like one 18 to 20 hours span

but it fucking hurts so bad and my toes especially on my left foot I swear it took like three or four months before my toe felt normal again that does seem like a lot that is a lot and it'll start because I decided to tell a dumb joke and play a sound effect and run away right into a doorframe

I mean, that's what you get, really, but Yeah, but all the other ones, can you really blame it on that? I think it was just that mental like, oh man, I better be careful how I'm doing the stairs, or I was like overthinking it, and then as soon as I stopped thinking about it, I better be careful. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know how it happened. Years ago, we had a weird day with playing basketball where Tyler got hitting the balls, like, it had to be seven times with a basketball in one day. Hilarious. And that, from my perspective, was really funny. From his perspective, probably not so much But I felt like my pinky toe

Might be karma from laughing at Tyler Taking the basketball to the balls so many times Literally in the same day Was any number of those Someone like Tyler sitting on the ground stretching And someone walking up and just going Right in the nuts Just three in a row real quick

I think if I'm I probably I'm probably missed remembering it was probably like three or four times Of the basketball and then just three other weird things We got hitting the balls that same day But uh because I feel like one was at a movie theater And I don't think there was a basketball in the movie theater Well, I guess we got to put Tyler on the scoreboard now. Yeah, we got to figure out how Tyler got hitting the balls so many times.

But someone's got hitting the balls more than six or seven times in a day, probably. But the pinky toe, the only thing, pardon me, the only thing I can really think of that might be world record one day worthy. If it makes you feel any better, I did think of one that we probably all, it's a tie, but we're all tied for first. Have you ever stayed awake for 24 straight hours? Because I know Mark has, and I know that I have. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of people on that one, but that's a T tied for first situation. So, like, that's just one on, you can rack it, you know, that's on the board.

I also slept for 24 hours once. I slept for 26 hours one time. There's probably quite a lot of people, quite a lot of people that have done that, but probably less, I would guess, have slept for 24 hours than have stayed awake. I don't know if I've done that. I don't think I've ever slept. Yeah. I went to sleep at 7 p.m. I was early teens, maybe not even a teen yet. I went to sleep at 7 p.m. And it was 9 p.m. And I was, I felt so tired.

I was like, oh, God, I've only been to sleep for two hours. And I walked out and was, like, talking to my family. And, like, my mom's looking at me weird. And he's like, no, I'm good. And, like, we just ate. And she's like, that was yesterday. And then, like, I really thought she was, like, pulling a prank on me or fucking with me. But no, I slept for, like, 26 hours.

That's pretty cool. I kind of like that. Like, well, I assume, too. I assume you were to be like, yeah, I had, like, the worst flu I've ever had. So I just took, like, took a double shot of NyQuil and passed it. That's just... There was no medicine involved. It was just, I just went, laid down, and passed out.

That's probably a pretty good one. I once had a phase. And this isn't the mobile game that I'm playing right now. I get to tell you, I quit that one because it was getting too much. But there was one time many a year ago, not that many, but many a year ago, where I must have been in a 24-hour span of the guy that spent the most in a mobile game I had to win. And I'm not proud of this one. I'm not.

And I know that there are plenty of people that probably spent way too much in mobile games. It was a huge money thing. It was not a good mobile game worth spending money on. But it was one of those infinite clicker games that just the numbers keep going up and they never stop going up. And I don't know if I was like hypnotized or something. I was caught in this loop where I would drop a hundred bucks. I would be like, yeah, the numbers are going up. It's not over, man.

It's not over. And then I'd be like, and that I'd hit that ceiling where you can't get any higher. And it's like, and I'm like, oh, come on. I was getting such a rush. 200 bucks? That must be the most. I spent $1,400. Oof.

Oh, no, there's people that spend more than that. Maybe not on that specific game, but. I know, but that, we're not looking for world records here. We're just that day. On the right day, that definitely puts you, like, in the running. I felt so dirty afterwards that I spent all that money in the game

and I deleted the game after I realized that I did. I don't remember the exact number but I'm pretty sure there was a docon player who had spent between one and $200,000 on docon in a year. Okay, that's a year. Divided by 365.

Let's see if I've got them. That's still a lot. Wait, how much was it? How much was it? He said one to 200,000. It's kind of a big range for math. All right, but we'll see, even, even that, through 65, that's only 4.10 a day. That's only, I got that beat.

I got that beat. Okay, maybe I got the, I don't know what it was. I think he said it. Someone said, at the very least, there was a year of this dude spent 71,000 minimum. I don't know what the max would have been. That's, that's baby shit. Mark's got that beat. I had that beat for that day.

I had to have been. I could tell you one game that I was addicted to. Raid Shadow Legends. No joke. I was super into playing it. That game, you could probably spend $100,000 a month if you bought everything and went crazy with it. Like that game's very expensive and it's very hard to get the things you want. I can only imagine how deep the well can go on that one. That's just making me feel a little bit better about my, I've never been mobile games, but I played a lot of CSGO and Ballarat and some CS2, uh, which are like tactical shooters that have gun skins and boy have i spent an embarrassing amount of money on gunskins for games

that i kind of don't play anymore but not like probably oh i'm probably into valor it for like six or seven hundred dollars total which maybe sounds like baby money but i i literally maybe spent 20 bucks ever on a mobile game i'm that doesn't get me other things get me i spend plenty of money on stupid shit you know how many phone cases i've talked about owning the mobile games are my like i've had to get i've told you guys i've had to get away i spend way too much money in time i get that i get the appeal i feel like maybe did i mention this already before i might have actually talked about this exact thing last i because i believe i brought up the most recent game and i was like i spent 50 bucks a day on that and i quit that because i was like it was getting ridiculous

did i mention the other one you mentioned the one where you made your own clan and went ham no no the only reason I'm worried is like I'm worried I got the number wrong and I'm I don't know what'd be worse if I was lower last time I met to dinner higher well don't worry mark because the subreddit will definitely correct you they will they will I might have said something also where it's like I'm not going to say how much I spent but no you you gave a number I don't remember what it was I don't remember if it was hundreds or a thousand a thousand a day or something crazy and you said because you were giving people diamonds or gyms to when your clan or something to do their dailies oh no that was that was the one it was 50 bucks a day

on the most recent one and then i stopped yeah so i had to stop that one that's that's not as bad man bad not as bad well any other uh records you guys think you have i think there's definitely some other ties i have one but all that way you'd go first i tied for not owning a car for many days over a three-year period that's probably true yeah well i mean you owned a car it was just at the bottom of the ocean sure sure it's like that rock from that one island where it's currency and you can own it even if it's at the bottom of the ocean what do you think the longest longest like furthest driven in a single day is yeah like i want to throw my head into that because i've driven i drove when we moved from california back to ohio i drove that in three

days and there was definitely a day in there that was like a solid 14-ish hours of driving with like no traffic all highway pretty pretty fast pretty far but i don't actually know exactly like is that do you think that's close or do you think that's not even close on that day. It's hard to say because truckers have limits. Yeah, they can only go for like 11 hours or something. There's like a, yeah, there's like an amount of time. It can't be more, like, literally cannot be more than like a thousand to

1,500 miles or whatever in a day, right? It can't be because like people have to stop. Yeah, like you have to get gas or whatever. Like, if I could do math in my head, I would be doing so much math right now. Like if you were going 100 miles an hour for 24 hours, that you'd be going, what, 2,400 miles? Oh, the math is hard on that one. Well, that's why I'm picking a simple one, but like, okay.

Oh, yeah, I see. I see what you're getting at. You cut it in half and you're like at 1,200. Okay, that's 50. So 50 miles an hour for 24 hours straight. You're not getting gas. You're not stopping. You're not taking piss breaks.

Like, and like I do know that things like the cannonball run exists where guys get from like New York to whatever, somewhere on the West Coast in like. But they're not doing that every day. But yeah, I probably wasn't overtaken by. one of them i was probably i bet it'd be up there because i mean most people probably tap out around like eight 10 hours but there are some people that slug it but on a certain day who's going to do that every day or have the perfect weather or have perfect no traffic you know i like to think that it's possible just because i like the idea of having a car one because i'm kind of like car

i like cars i mean i can't see someone on any given day driving all 24 hours and going that like it can't be that you gotta stop for gas you gotta piss you gotta get food uh anyway did you guys have any other one sorry i'm just what was your number was my actual number uh i didn't have a solid number i mean i was going probably an average of with stops and everything maybe an average of 50 miles an hour for say 14 hours of driving conservatively no i know i did a 900 and some odd stretch but you know 700 miles oh that's not as far as I would have thought. I was really hoping it would be over a thousand, but...

Well, Amy and I, we did on this recent one, a 930-mile stretch to get back home, and that was a long day because we just wanted to get home. Anyway, I believe that there was a day that, and if not a day, a lifetime achievement for sure, but there was a day where it happened more than once, and that had to have been pretty up there, where I spilled liquid on my keyboard. the most in a 24-hour period and I think you guys remember there was a recording session

where I spilled twice on my keyboard I got a spare keyboard boosh on that one as well I'm almost positive unless I'm misremembering I'm pretty sure isn't that the one where you ended up with the world's smallest keyboard at the end? Oh yeah

you're like a keyboard that you use on the TV or something weird is that a drunk Minecraft episode? Yeah, yeah. I think so. Or it was over a couple episodes in a recording session. I can't remember. But even to this day, I have that curse because, like, here, where I'm at with TBD, I've spilled on a keyboard there. I've even, outside of this, on my laptop, I've had a Red Bull can that somehow, you know, it's like, you know, people try with the bottle flip. It's a three-quarter full can next to my keyboard. I tap it like this. I just brush my fingers across. It does a perfect 180, like,

like open side down right onto my keyboard and I hear it go glug glug glug I've only ever done it to one keyboard I've learned that I have a flight not a fight mechanic because every time I have problems with the keyboard it's the S key that breaks and it's because I'm running away

so much backing up like if I played a horror game or something I fucking slam that runaway button I only spilled on my keyboard once I don't have you on that one mark you can have this the spilt record I appreciate that I appreciate that I don't do enough what else what I've had there had to have been a day World Warcraft is an

obscure thing but on a certain fight during Rath of the Lich King for elemental shamans I was number one on Professor Putricide actually I was global I was global number two but that record had been set before me so I was number two on the leaderboard there so I had to been the best that day I was the most damage on professor putricide as an elemental shaman that day and probably for a while except that guy who did more than me the other time but we don't talk about that guy is professor putricide the the fight that's the character that you were yeah that's the guy you're fighting yeah okay got it that was a tough one to do it a lot of mobility and not good for castors years after diablo two had already been out

i remember going back and playing diablo one with a friend and we had to get fresh memory cards to save the game on and uh there was a way you could do like a gold duplicating And I'll bet you on that particular day, we duped the most Diablo one gold on PlayStation. Hell yeah. We got enough to fully, like, fill up four characters' inventories with gold, because each gold pile took a thing. Oh, right. And that means, like, you take one little pile, you add it, dupe, add, like, we just kept doing that until we had so much gold that the whole ground was covered and our inventories were full. We probably have the record for most duped gold that, not ever, but in that one day, probably.

I don't know if I have any gaming ones I'm not that good of a gamer That's so oddly specific You probably do I don't know I don't really know if I have any games that I was that into That there's such a specific thing about it Possibly I have a PubG one I think that's the game I have the most hours into

I have like 1,200 hours or something in PubG There's pop it's very possible that I have The most cars parked on roofs of buildings In a PubG round because that was kind of a hobby I knew all the spots where you could get a nice get some air

get a good car up on the roof situation that's maybe I don't know I just not I'm not very superlative at video games I'm just funny because I get I get really mad and tryhardy and sweaty but like I'm just not

I've never achieved much you know I probably went the most editing in a 24 hour period I'm almost positive and I know there's a lot of editors that pull late nights but I probably two days

in a row I had the record for 24-hour period. Oh, I did. I had a couple more I thought of. That one may be true. I know one you definitely have, Mark. Yeah, what's that? Most fake blood inside your body in 24 hours. That is a hundred percent one that you have.

Absolutely true. I know for a fact. Oh, my God, yeah. And boy, was that pleasant sounding. And Wade, I did have one for you. Remember when we were on tour, we went to Fogu de Chow in San Diego? Mm-hmm. I think there's a not halfway distant chance that you ate the most meat of anyone in the world on that day.

Really? I think it's possible. There was one time when your plate was this fucking high. It was literally like, gee, like, oh, like stuff would fall off of the pile if it was too round or floppy. And you ate, you cleaned your plate. You did it. The gristle and everything. I don't know if I could do that anymore.

And you hit the cold buffet. I remember you hitting the salad bar and getting some of the others. As a person who's consumed 26 slices of pizza in one sitting, I witnessed that and it sticks with me, you know? There's a reason you're the king of meat. I think that people do like the hot dog eating contest and stuff. I'm like, man, I don't think I scratched the surface of that,

but maybe they didn't do it that day. Those are like the small dogs, though. Like it is a lot of food, but it's a lot of air volume with the bread. and like, I don't know. Hot dogs are not as dense either, right? They're kind of like whipped meat sludge that congeals into weaners. I know one that Wade, you might also have, but I know I probably have.

I was probably the loudest one day out there. I was probably the loudest, I want to say. So, wait, I'm sure that you had a day where you were the loudest. Bob, you're not typically a screaming kind of guy. No, I've been loud, but. I would be surprised if I snagged that one. I'd have to be pretty lucky. But yeah, you guys both could be up for that.

Do you imagine if they're being an afterlife and you go and there's like a podium where they're like, all right, let's go through your life achievements. And they're like, oh, Wade, you did stub your toes the most that day. Whoever's behind me like, you looked at the most porn that given day. And they were going to, like, all the weird achievements being given out is like you're going in. Imagine getting to the afterlife and then realizing that you, in fact get to join the wall of shit which is the wall where they hang in the picture

of everyone who's taking the biggest shit on any given day. You one day, you won. That would be quite the thing. I mean, there'd be millions and millions of people on the wall. As not a larger guy, I probably wouldn't have taken it, but maybe,

you know. Yeah, maybe there's a weird shit day. Who knows? There's been a couple over the years where it's like, that is impressive. So maybe I did. I don't know. Hey, Hoosel. We're all really good at stuff. Some of us, gooder than others. But anyone out there watching you're listening,

just remember that you definitely hold some single day records as well. No matter how you might feel about yourself, where you are in your life or your career, you definitely, whatever, drank the most diet mountain dues one day or whatever your thing is, you know? You did it, and you should be proud of that, and you should hold on to that. That will sustain you.

Till you make your next big achievement, you can hang your hat on that. I'm gonna go over the points now. Mark, you earned points for pain and sadness. I love Intel. Fuck Intel. Pissin? $1,400 in a mobile game, Liquid Curse, and Professor Putricide. Tyler's balls earned one point. Wade, you earned points for high. Appalachia Appalachia Appalachia

however you say that Didn't eat food Tragedy Mouth level Dick level You said that And I can't remember Why but you did say that

My piss thing You are mouth thing Oh right My dick your mouth Mark's dick my mouth What is it Thursday Uh slept for 24 hours

Poor Toes Making fun of Molly a lot And Diablo Gold Duke Record Which leaves the score at Tyler's balls with one, Mark with seven, and Wade with eight. Woo-hoo! We're back on top, baby! So we still have to do the wheel. Fuck! I forgot about that. We got to call Tyler. Just as balls. Just as balls. That's true.

Tyler's balls will host such an episode. And he legally has to. It's in the Constitution. All right, how many spins shall we have? Oh, great wheel, who always selects three. Always three. Three spins, it is, baby. Oh, I don't know what I'm going to add. Or I don't add, you add. No, you know what, Wade?

That's my, that's my thing. Today, I'm going to add whatever Wade wants to add to the wheel. You got it, buddy. Smallest violin point, do we have that? I don't think so. Actually, I think we, wait, don't we actually have the smallest violin isn't there on there? I did not see anything about the violin or sad. I mean, like, we really care for this multiples.

It's only the same eight things ever come up anyway, so it's all rigged. That's true. We live in a simulation. Three spins, it is, boys. I can't read it. It's too small. What if it's that one where I have to say out loud? This is the one that just got added. He who is a mortal wins a point.

I get a point. I forgot you're immortal. Yeah, I'm immortal. I get the point. Well, we've got to find a way to pass the immortality. I do love the wording, though, and that was very nice. All right, spin number two, man, I hope it's another point for me. Said fuck the most.

I curse it all. You definitely said it like one time. I don't remember saying it. I don't remember either of you guys saying it a particularly large amount, but... Tyler's balls did it a lot when I got hit with basketball. All right, point for Tyler's balls. Okay, I guess, yeah Tyler's balls now has two points

Mark's Dick, your mouth, my head, Tyler's balls. Somehow I'm losing to Tyler's balls in an episode that I hosted. And I didn't think this all the way through. Oh, shit. Oh, no, at 10% chance to one man show. It doesn't mean that you do it.

That's just, it was, I believe it was at eight, so now it's at 18. Yeah, so that counts as a spin. So we're done spinning. So the final score is Mark and Wade got no points from any of the wheel spins. So Mark is at 7 and Wade is at 8?

I don't think that's ever happened. The points went to me, Tyler's balls, and no point. So the score stayed exactly the same. All right. So I need to add 10% winner's wheel. So this is 21.

Oh God, math. Did it get increased from the? I know it's at 8 because it was spun once since the reset. 21 degrees is 6, so it should be 8, so it should be 18. So that should be 0.18 times 360. So that should mean the weight here is 64.8. So we'll call it 65. That should be 18%.

That looks dangerous. That escalated quickly. God help, whoever gets that next. Anyway, Wade, you're, winner. Winner speech, bud. This has not been my season of distractible. I've not won much this season. In fact, this might

be an all-time low for any of us losing in a season. I've lost a lot. But, not today. Today we're back on top, baby! I just want to say, I don't know if you recall, there was a time when I lost 23 coin flips in a row or what you should... 13. Mathematically horrendous.

It was like, I lost like a hilarious amount. That's kind of known for the chance of that happening to you was so Infantismally impossibly small. It was crazy. People thought we rigged it. They thought no one like there were people that believe that we rigged it. I just can't believe we actually didn't. I find it so fascinating because it wasn't just that you were always heads. You were calling it and you were just calling it wrong. It's just wrong.

You ever been so wrong? Because like with a lens cap, even if it was favorite. of one side. It was incredible. That's where we came. People don't remember. That's where the triangle of fairness came from. Because we had to be honest. You cannot lie when you pick it up like this. You cannot flip it.

We don't do the triangle of fairness anymore because we all trust each other. And it's rigged. Mark. I got to say, you know, I may have lost this one. But for this season, unlike what my opponent has said to besmirch my name, I am not the lowest low of losing this season. I'm the low I am the lowest

low of losing this season I'm the highest of the winning so whatever he said was right what was that fucking game we played where we were assembling furniture and Mark just kept

yelling the flower is inverted to the backside like some no it made sense it was the yeah no it totally made sense that's why Wade and I understood it every time You yelled in it, that's... Whatever. Whatever it was, there's a method to by Madison. It didn't...

It didn't succeed this time. So maybe it's time to go sane. Callix. Oh, yeah, we were making the furnitures. That's really. Right, that's fun. Anyway, congratulations, Wade, and condolences to Mark for not only the story that you told about damaging your computer,

but also losing the episode, which is possibly even sadder than the first thing. Hi's in the chat to me. Hi. Hi. Hi. Make sure you follow the podcast on whatever platform you want to get notified when the episodes come out. And make sure you follow us. Our names are probably on screen, or maybe they're not.

Sorry, editors. Wade's the Lord Minion 777 or Minion 777. Markiplier, My Skirm. You guess which ones is whose. And until the next episode where Wade will host, that's it. Podcast out. Watch new episodes on Spotify. Thank you.