Do Go On - 100 - Rasputin

Episode Date: September 20, 2017

We made it to episode 100 and to celebrate Dave reports on Russia's 'Mad Monk' Grigori Rasputin. A simple peasant that would use his sex appeal, charisma and supposed supernatural powers to become one of the most powerful advisors to the Russian royal family. What could possibly go wrong? Recorded live in Melbourne, Matt zones out, Jess finds the audience's limit and Dave humps and head butts a watermelon live on stage. Yep, this one has it a ll.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. Are you working way too hard for way too little?

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Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit PlanetBcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you so much. You're so much like we half rehearsed before. Yeah. Hello ladies and gentlemen. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you so much. It's almost like we half rehearsed before.

Yeah. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome down to the 100th episode of the Do-Go-On podcast. Yeah. My name is Dave Warnigy, and I'm about to be joined on stage by two of my favorite people in the whole world. We've been together for many a week now. Can you please go crazy for Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart?

Yeah. I said, Dave, I will not go out there without a rock star welcome. So weird. What are you guys all doing here? No one took these seats either. I would have definitely sat down here. I may well do it. I was gonna say. You will at some point. No, I need that area of sight to say to do some costume changes throughout the show. There will be a little bit of nudity if you can see into the nook there. Someone did just ask before when no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, at the shop, Lombards, the paper people in, Mooney Pond, shout out. What did you get in Mooney Pond?

Because it was close to the studio, where I was meeting you guys. Fair enough. Check sound. Smart. Anyway, she was like, oh, what's the OK to what's a hundred? And I was like, a podcast? And she was like, yeah, you better believe she stopped asking

follow up questions. Okay. Oh well, whatever, fuck that girl. But it is so great to be here. Thank you so much for coming out ladies and gentlemen. 100 weeks we can't believe it, though, Matt. Can you please a share? I went early, I went early on the seat.

I went to before and I was like, no, no, I went early on the C. I went to before and I was like, no, no, no, I won't be the first. Cool, alright. Alright! That feels real good. You guys are a pretty hot crowd and you're willing us sitting on stools, so thank you so much. Easy please, that's what I like in an audience.

Low expectations. This is our 100th episode of the show. The Matt did not fail to remind us that Jess and I have not appeared on all 100 episodes. It's my 100th episode. Please call out for the 9th episode. Thank you. Thank you very much. We're going to have another live show in two weeks for Dave and I for our 100th. That's great. We've also got the 98 balloons out of the back. It's gonna be great. But our...

98 Luft balloons. Any old people in? Any old people in. I do want to know who the oldest person here is because we do actually have our youngest... I think it's me. Yeah, probably. He's an honestist, pointy at you. So we do actually have our youngest ever listening to you.

We have a three-month-old at the back. Willow. Is anyone younger than three months? Can anyone older than three months? Not me. How the fuck did you all get here? A bunch of two-month-old kids. So we do have a baby on the back.

We also have a very special guest in the crowd. Someone who has come a long, long way further than Rudy Ponds to get here. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to give a big round of applause. We got this email a few weeks ago saying, oh, hey guys, I really love the show. I'd love to come to the 100th episode, but I live in California. Oh. Oh. Oh. I'd love to come to the 100th episode, but I live in California. The land of the time forgot. It's real.

I'm excited, who is it? Mark Zuckerberg? Mark Zuckerberg is in the building, everybody. This person has a reality show called Keeping Up with the Kardashians, It's like sucka burgers in the building everybody. This person has a reality show called Keeping Up With The Kardashians and they have come a long way. No, we got this email and they said that they'd love to come to the show and they're just trying to save up the money if we could put aside a ticket for them. We said, yeah, we'll put aside a ticket but there's no way this person's going to come

to California to a show that they can listen to for free in the first place. But come, they did ladies and gentlemen and I'm lucky to for free and for free. But come, they did Ladies and Gentlemen, and I'm lucky to stand up and take about. It's nestle all the way from California. Very cool. Very, very cool. Thank you, sir. So, thank you so much for coming along.

He also came to my friend's show last night and he was the only one in the front row. How does it feel now? Look at this. Oh, it's beautiful, isn't it? Yeah, it's not that real nice. It's beautiful, isn't it? The rest of the room was super packed. People are intimidated by me.

I'm a pretty full-on presence. Look at Jess, she looks at me like that sometimes. Normally you guys don't get to see it, but her eyes are saying, shut the fuck up. So he can interpret it, but it keeps talking anyway. It's weird. He knows what I'm saying, and he doesn't care. He doesn't.

He doesn't. He doesn't own that, I genuinely don't. He doesn't. You got all night ceiling, yeah. I'll actually, I hadn't noticed the detail, that's beautiful. We're in a weird little, like, what are we in here? What's this? What's going on? That is a bulkhead.

That would probably have some sort of ductwork running through it. Former air conditioning salesman. That was a lot about it. Now guys, thank you so much for coming out. Now, I assume that most of you have heard the show, but could I have a round of applause? If you've never heard our podcast before. It's OK.

You can see the cover. That's fine. Be so good if Nester from California club. Yeah. So, if you're people you've never been to. And that's okay. I saw the hesitation in your face and that's fine. I understand because you expect we're going to pick on you. We're not.

We're just genuinely. I will pick on you a dickhead. Look at this dickhead. Hey everybody. Oh, sorry. But you've had, before this point you've had 99 opportunities to hear the show. No, thanks so much for coming out. Now give us a round of applause. You can have've had, before this point, you've had 99 opportunities to hear the show. No, thanks so much for coming out.

Now give us a round of applause. You have heard the show before? Oh, thank God, that's so good. Good. Oh, thank God. Nest has heard it, OK. Thank you so much. This is a show.

I'll direct this at you. Where one of us picks a topic often suggested by listeners of the show. He's not blinking. I can't do it. I was right here. Come on. And... Lost the spiel. Lost it. One of us will do a report on a topic suggested by one of the listeners.

Wow. Are we in love now? Is that how that works? I don't think that's the thing. What was that other word? What was that other word? What was that other word? I don't think that's the thing. It is my turn to do a report on a topic. Yay! Yeah, we better get going because there is a comedy show coming up here later. We could be here for a while. It's in three hours time.

I think you'll be okay, Dave. Yeah, we better start. Oh, my iPad has reminded me that do go 1-100 is today. So I think we're like, luckily I'm here. Thanks, iPad. Matt, no, we're very excited when Dave was like, yeah, so I've got the report sorted and we're like, oh, fuck me, I have to do reports. Yes.

So, so, so good. Now, I've put this topic to the vote there. Patreon supporters got to vote of three topics. Random applause, if you voted on that. Any Patreon being voted? Oh, beautiful. Beautiful. Hopefully, everyone chose what you voted for.

That's what it is. There were three topics in the hat, and one of them got 60% of the vote, so... Do you know what would have been really, really funny? If it got 69% of the votes. One of the topics got 69% of the votes. One of the top is got 69% of the votes. 69%. Like the sex thing. I just made eye contact with a bartender and he was like,

you're an idiot. He also had a friend. You asked before, what's going on down here? I said a podcast. Oh. You always get that reaction from people. Oh, cool. So you had a day job, being good.

Yeah. Yeah. Now, I've got a question to get us on topic as we always do. I'm going to hand this over to Matt and Jess, and when they inevitably cannot answer, throw it over to you guys. Brittle, but fair. Now my question is, is this? Which historical figure is the subject of the 1978 Euro Disco hit by German based...

Oh, I know this. I know this. Of course you do. disco hit by German based hofffossil. Oh, I know this. I know this. Of course you do. Bernie M. Rasputin. It is Rasputin! Like a...

Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah. Rah, rah, rah put on Russian accent. That's my normal singing accent Dave. You have a singing accent? You don't? Alright. Of the people that voted, give us a round of applause if you did vote for Rasputin.

Oh good. Couple of you, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. It won 60% of the vote and it's been suggested by... No, no, no, no, no, no. 69% of the vote and it's been suggested by loads of people, so I'm just going to thank them now. Rasputin or Rasputin has been suggested by... Rasputin.

Okay, I'm putting it out there now. If you say Rasputin, I get to punch you in the leg. A grade? Are you one of the people that say Vladimir Putin? I, you know me in politics. When would I mention that? Fair enough. But it's like Vlad. Rasputin, Rasputin, has, which I actually believe is more correct, but I'll go with Rasputin, suggested by loads of people, including Adam M.

From Bonim. No, I don't know. Adam M. He's Twitter Handlers at EWOC to remember. What? What play? Now that's a phrase. Fraser Baxter at Optimal F. Bax. Molly Bird at Cactus Yocus.

Gina Thrap. Thrap. Thrap. Thrap. Incredible name and a handle is at Rugger Girl 9. How many Rugger girls can there be? 9. Correct. Marty Grievous at Marty Grievous.

You got it, Ely. You got it. Sebastian Culligan at Scullig. Daniel Ryan, the, the, the, the, the, dry-ing. They do Ryan. Oh, yeah, he's, he's frequent Twitter. He's frequent Twitter. He's going to read all of their.

Oh, there's only two more. Also an email, Abigail Hanson, and one of my best buddies who this time last week I was attending his wedding and he whispered in my ear, how about you do a, a sputon? My friend, Jace. Congratulations on your wedding last weekend! There you are! I just pointed at the wrong man! There you are! My best buddy! My best friend in the whole world! So, uh, here we go. Rasputin apart from the song you guys know much about Rasputin? Rasput Rasputan. I've seen Anastasia. Is that yet?

Anastasia was in the singer that wore those pink glasses in the late night. Kamala! Shabby Fried! No, the movie. The best bit of that song. E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E-A-E, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what's about the man the magic yeah fair hats Tiny pet bat Bar talk did he like he danced like kicking his legs out with his ass really close to the ground That him with these ass really Do you can you show us what you mean? What do you mean back? You've got to have a no, well, you know what you like, I'm not sure what you mean. What do you mean, I can do it? Could you do it straight? You've got to have a...

No. Well, you know what I mean. You're like, say I'm... They're like, you know, I'm not using me. Like that. No, I'm not sure what you're doing with it. No. Ra, ra, recipe, ten.

All right, so I'll get into the report then. It's because it sounds like you guys know everything about him anyway, but... It's what I've seen in Estasia. Oh man, no! Care for your free! Right, try. No, it's not. Did she have any other songs?

I got some water. To be left outside alone! And that's called out here! He answered a way too quickly. Why too quickly? He's wearing an Estasia t-shirt right now. Good one. Sorry, I forgot about live jets, I don't like live jets.

She's had two songs. Any others? If you know any others. You can tie it. Are you gurgling it right now? I don't know, Sik and Tide. Give us a bar. I'm sick of drinking a sick and tired drink.

Really? Really? That was awesome. I don't often say this, but that was possibly almost as good as what I did. Nearly. It doesn it often say that. He's really up himself. All right. Regory, Rasputin.

Rasputin. Sorry. What's his first name? Gregory. Gregory. Well, it's got an eye in there. Still Gregory, isn't it? All right.

Jess and I are the Gregory. Greg. Greg? Greg? Yeah, let's got an eye in there. Still Gregory, isn't it? All right. Jess and I was Gregory. Gregory. Greg. Greg? Greg? Yeah, let's go on Greg. Greg. We're born in the...

Not so scary now, we see. Stinky Greg. Yeah. He's in the wake-als. I am. That's two words of this 3,000-were report. Greg was born into a peasant family in Cypheria, Russia in January 1869. A sexier.

For a great face. A sexier. For a grat-face! A 6-year. We've never said that. And it doesn't make sense. I forgot your catchphrase. I thought that's what it was. A 6-year. It doesn't sound like something I would say. Fair enough. He was born into a tiny village that's actually unpronounceable and in the middle of nowhere.

I'll put it on the map for you. It's just above... imagine where Kazakhstan is. You guys know the geography? Yep. North of that, about 2000k east of Moscow. Oh, yep, yep. Great to call it. Anyway, near Turkmenistan.

Yes, north of there. Okay, great. Now I get it. He was originally Christian. Christian, the... Grigory, Yefimmobic, and his father, Efem. Efem? Efem, right? Efem. Efem was a peasant farmer and church elder who... He farmed peasants!

A hundred weeks together. No, he ate. So, a pissant farmer and a church eldest was very religious man who married breast-pittance mother, Anna. Anna! I was about to talk to my beard. Surely that's Anna. Surely that's Anna. If it's one in. It's double in. Double in that's Anna. Anna! I've got an Anna here and she gets real pissed off when when people say Anna. Just fun factfully wanted to mention that I have a friend. Prove it. I can't.

Anna. Anna. Matt's already put himself to the timeout. He still has a microphone, so. The couple, this is Efferman Anna, had seven other children, all of whom died in infancy or early childhood. Seven other children, eight kids. Eight kids. Question is, do they know what was causing?

Do they know? Do they know? Six. Not much is known about Greg's childhood, other than the fact that despite attending school, the peasant man remained illiterate, well into adulthood. The peasant man. That's mean.

What was it just calling him Greg? A local archival record suggests that he had a somewhat of an unruly youth, possibly involving drinking, small thefts, and disrespecting local authorities. Sounds like you, Matthew. But there is no evidence of him being charged with stealing horses, blasphemy, or other major crimes that he was later rumored to have committed as a young man. That's just getting changed. He's literally doing a costume.

It's really hot in here. So tank, I'm all your clothes. I am getting so hot. I want you to go on with the report, please, Dave. Yeah, but it's gonna be nice to prefer Anastasia songs, so that's where I met my wife. Somewhere along the track, reputation for Gregory's licentiousness, being promiscuous and unprincipled in sexual matters. Licentiousness.

May have earned him the surname Rasputin, which is Russian for deborched one. So Greg the Slot. Greg the Slot. Or, I will post this caveat that some historians believe Rasputin means where two rivers meet a phrase, a phrase that describes an area where he was born in Siberia, but that's really, really boring. So we're going to go with're gonna go with sluts great The slang

It's much more fun to talk about how even as young man he gained a reputation as a rake a Man with a deborched an endless sexual appetite and also collector of leaves I can confirm that is also true. He's so happy with himself over there, aren't you? Come on, come back. Oh, costume change number one. Yeah, I said there was nothing special happening, but... You know, your special thing is wearing a t-shirt.

You know, these guys put in efforts, I thought I should as well. You're special thing is wearing a t-shirt. You know these guys put in efforts, I thought I should as well. Okay. Fair, do go on. At the age of 18, Rasputin underwent a religious conversion. He entered a monastery with the intention of becoming a monk, where he may have learnt to read and write, but after a few months he left presumably to get married to a peasant girl that he had been courting. Her name, Preskovia.

Preskovia. Okay. Well now that. Every other name you've picked me up on so far. Well done, David. Thank you. Preskovia. At the age of 19 he went Preskovia and they let her have five children three of whom lived. So that's a three-spite week, we won't make, like, three is okay, right?

What happened at the other two? They did not live. That makes sense. That does make sense. Woo! Thank goodness. But in 1893, Rasputin despised it to leave his family to travel just to think a gap year to find himself. A gap year from a family.

No that makes sense. Just going to be away for a year. Yeah I need to find myself. I've met a couple of Greg the Sluts on Contiguit tours myself. Yeah. Never been on one but you know it sounded funny and then I thought I don't want people thinking I've been on a Kentucky tour. And and ruin your incredible reputation. So he's suddenly traveling, he's on his gap year, he suddenly had a keen interest in religion. Some suggest this was because he'd had a vision of the Virgin Mary. Others say he just needed to skip town to avoid punishment for stealing a horse. Let's go with the

horse option. Either way he was now pretty religious. He left stealing a horse will do that. It'll change it. It'll change it. Yeah. Stealing a horse on Kentucky to it will really change it. Matt, am I right? Yes, I know, damn it! He left home and wandered to Mt Athos in Greece and then to Jerusalem. And I say wandered, but that is a 4,300 km wander. That's quite a wander. You know when you're with your mum on a Sunday, and she goes, let's go for a wander. That's not a wander.

That's got a Mt Athos. Yeah, no mum not a wander. That's got a mountain Athos. No mum. Not again. I'm not going to mount Athos mum. Mount mean sex. Possibly that's why Russ Putin went there in the middle of the first... Brewery place number one.

That's like number three. Is this Pat nice and patronising? Yes, thank you. On his wanderings, on his several thousand kilometre wanderings, he lived off peasants' donations and started... Oh my god. So peasants, presumably don't have a little money. And then he's taking money from them.

Because he started to get a reputation as a self-proclaimed holy man with the ability to heal the sick and predict the future. Self-proclaimed anything is fucked. Like, you can be anything if you just say you are. I'm the Queen of England. Self-proclaimed. Self-proclaimed. Self-proclaimed. I'm the self the self reclaimed queen of England and you are all my subjects. Now, but you said a little bit doubtful about him being able to have these paranormal activities. Are you doubting that? I'm a little doubtful, yes. Well, let me just say that my favorite sentence written about recipe that I could find is from all the docs wiki pedia. The Encyclopedia and information center for orthodox Christianity. What have you been using regular wiki pedia?

No, no, you haven't lived until you've gone orthodox. It's it. And you will find such nuggets of information as this. Quote, during his youth, Rasputin gained a reputation of supernatural powers, which he allegedly, when he allegedly identified a horse thief by paranormal powers. I got his taken at horse. And then it has no information or any sources that backed that up.

So that his reputation is, yep, horse thief, bang, he's pretty good at this, he's pretty good. Wow, I'm sorry, I doubted him. And he also looked at the party, he started to wear the robes of a monk and he accepted God but not in the same way that hard-line monks of the day did. Rasputin was more convinced that God is all about pleasure and fun, which is unlike any religious person I've ever person. The richness of a normal monkhood was alien to him. That's a quote, another strange website.

It practically is it's Petersburg mystic history dot info. What? What? Petersburg. And did so much... You heard Pena's Burg too, right? I was like, no, that's not a word of such. Did anyone end up buying bum house dot coin? Because if you have a... It's sister website could be Pena's Burg mystery history and poem. Pena's Burg. Don't like that.

Pena's Burg writes, quote, you loved wine, women, music, dances, long and interesting conversations. That's his Tinder profile right there. Hey guys, I'm all about a whole thing. Wine, women, interesting conversations. Just like a long chat. Let's just chat. Let's get to know each other.

And then all about crazy promiscuous sex. That's what Tinderinders about this. He returned to his village, a changed man, now looking to shuffled and behaving differently than he had before. He was now rocking a sweet beard, disheveled. You two that genuinely, very often, and it's concerning.

No, good on you. All right. and it's concerning. No, good on you. Alright. He was also at a vegetarian. Signing to describe that here. But one thing that sets you apart from Rasputinus, he started to swear off alcohol. Oh, yeah. No, I swear on alcohol.

You fucking dickhead. eh? So he can't change the meaning of swear there. For humorous effect. Arguably. Alright. Uh, swearing off alcohol did not last long for respite and then he went back into drinking. It never does. Anytime anybody's like, it's usually after hangover, hangover, hangover. Like, I'm never drinking again. I'm never doing it the next weekend. It's like,

woohoo! Anyway. I did that this morning. Never drinking again. Never doing it. He made a living as a mystic and whilst his main home was still in his home village, he went on lots of pilgrimages. So he's now a fly-and-fly-out pilgrimage car. That's what he's doing. Yes, I wrote that down. And when you wrote it, presumably three weeks ago, because you were very organized with

these, you wrote it, right? You wrote it, and then you went, am I right? Yeah, it was just pretty much the reaction I got from the life crowd. I get it. It's not good, but I get it. No, good on you, good. Thank you so much. Throughout these travels, world of our speed and activity and charisma began to spread

in Siberia during the early 1900s. He acquired a reputation as a wise and perceptive sterates, which is a holy man, who could help people resolve their spiritual crisis, crises, and anxieties. Oh, so he's a karma. He's a calm guy. This is the chill dude. He's super chill.

And he started to acquire a bit of a posse that traveled with him. And despite rumors that Rasputin was having sex with most of his female followers, he won over church officials and his charisma and apparent healing powers even impressed a local, powerful bishop named Chris Antthenos. So far this is sounding quite a bit like Charles Manson too.

So. He's filled with his dick. It's a bit culty, isn't it? It's a little bit culty. Yeah, I really thought he was a dancer, but I thought he was a cartoon villain, so we'll both try. If I can refer you to a penis-berg mystery history, don't you though. He loved wine, women, music, dancers. Yeah, all right. I can dig this guy. Sounds like you're rating off my own biography. Was it on Orthodox Wikipedia? Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT.

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Now is the time mycomputercareer.edu. GI Bill. Now is the time mycomputercareer.edu. So he's got, he's a, he's a befriended local bishop who gave him a letter of recommendation to a powerful person in the church in St. Petersburg, the big smoke. And he was arranged for him to wander over in 1903 to St. Petersburg, another 2.5,000 kilometer wander. And he's not a wander. His main reason for going to the big city was to raise money to build. Petersburg, another 2.5,000 kilometer wander. And he's not a wander. His main reason for going to the big city was to raise money to build a monastery in his village. OK.

That's what he's going to do. He's going to build a monastery. A brothel. LAUGHTER Actually, yes. The court circles and upper classes of St. Petersburg at that time were entertaining themselves by delving into mysticism and the occult, so when Rasputin rocks up a filthy, unkempt

wanderer with extraordinary eyes. Oh. And supposed healing and fortune telling talents, he was warmly welcomed by the Aristotle. What's so extraordinary about his eyes? Do they? People write his own names. They're like this sort of... BOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOOBOO But I have blue eyes. Now you all look pretty good. She's got good eyes guys. Take it from me if you're up in the bank, you can't see shit.

Sorry about that, should I go here earlier? I like it when Dave turns. It's fun, isn't it? The big hit goes from like, game show host to fuck you. Fuck you! It's like, okay, all right. Who will I kill next? You. Now you're all right, you're okay.

You're all good, you're all good. I love you all, I love you all. How you doing? Been a love up the back there? Give us some love in the back row. Woo! Nice. Uh.

Guys. That's so creepy. Just working the room here, don't run me. Nice. So he's a big hit with the upper classes. He's a big hit with the upper classes. But you're probably on the state a few months on this initial visit of St Peter'sburg, but you made quite a splash there and it's invited back in 1905.

Oh, he was invited. Yeah, I was coming back. Are there many cities now that are invite only? Yeah, that'd be cool. I was going to say the capital of North Korea, but then I remember that I don't know what it is. Pyongyang. Pyongyang. Which I knew it because it would have been real good. We have been invited over to the first ever North Korean podcast festival. Still waiting to the side of her into it.

David, David is that true? Yeah. David, we've been invited, there we have personally. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. David, don't make me go. You have got nice eyes. It's first time he's ever looked at him. I really love him.

Over the time, over time, I know he's back in St. Petersburg. He's moving up the ranks and he's formed friendships with several members of the aristocracy. That's the ranks of his own cult? Oh, the aristocracy is okay. He's meeting royals now, including the Black Princesses, as I recall. Melissa and Anastasia of Montenegro. Anastasia. She's out of love.

Can you think of a fourth Anastasia trip? Oh, that's it. No, that question's coming. She did a version of Alton John's Saturday. Did she? How would that go? Saturday. Santa Claus, like Alton doing more like Anastasia.

Repeat 100 times. That's how that's going to go. Let's say 100. Say Saturday 100 times. Anyway, he's met the black princesses. They're married to the Tsar's cousin, or the Tsar's cousins. And were instrumental in introducing Rasputin to Tsar Nicholas II, and his family.

Zah of course being the king of Russia. I know. My face is blank because I'm bored. Alright. Not because I don't know. I've got to get through the admin before he can get to more sex and killing. Alright. No, you're doing great.

I'm just recognizing these names from Anastasia, and I'm excited to start feeling in the blanks with my knowledge. Okay, when you first mentioned Anastasia, I thought, I've seen that, and then I imagined the movie Fantasia. I was like, very similar. Where was Rispune? Where was he? Rispune was dancing with the malls. Oh yeah.

That's right, that's how I know it. That's how I know him. Anyway, so he's met the king. Zah. Zah. Zah. Zah, Nick. Nick was the second.

Rasputin first met the Zah in November 1905 at the Peter Hoff Palace. The Sir recorded the event in his diary writing a few days ago. I received a peasant. Dude, Dary. Dude, Dary. It's me, Zahar Nicholas again. As you know, this is my Dary. Received a peasant as a gift.

I received a peasant. Oh, sexually. Oh. Oh. Well, he did bring a gift. I received a peasant from the Bostg district. This is a classic Russian accent. Raghory Rasputin.

He brought me an icon of St. Simon Vruch. He made a reputant, I would miss that part, right? St. Simon Vruch. Oh, yeah. Again, authentic. He made a remarkably strong impression, Paz. So Simon Bakruch. Oh yeah. Again, authentic. He made a remarkably strong impression, both on her majesty and on myself, so that instead of five minutes,

our conversation went on for more than a hour. More than a hour. End quote. Sorry. Thank you, Dari. Good night. It's Zanik, by the way. Love love.

Bye-bye. Oh, it's a better interface. Oh a way. Love love. Bye bye. Oh I'm so better at interface a little. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay, bye! Oh, too much. Oh, no, my diary thinks I'm clinging. Oh, no. I don't know what you into that diary, but I like it.

You know what I text you and do a little XX? That's what I'm actually doing. Matt is in shock. Oh, so he's made a good impression on that the recipe would not be the sourness wife again for some months. He returned to his town shortly after their first meeting and did not return to St. Petersburg until the following year. However, he started running several letters to the sour.

Oh yeah. Damn, Rasputin. This is I. Zah. Nicholas. I do wish you would come at once. I left the oven on and I don't know how to turn it off. I am a king, I do not usually turn on the oven. I was trying to bake cookies, but when you visited I got nervous. I thought you like cookies? I've burned down several of the royal palaces best rooms.

It's love, Zard. P.S. it's Zarnaglus by the way. It's real clingy. It's so clingy. Very cool man, Jesus. Right, you can see it. Tread a bank, keep in king. Dearest Fiddon, visit or die, what else?

Don't care. Signed anonymous. Is this him on the face on the mic? So sorry, so sorry. Alright guys. Man, you have zoned right out, haven't you? It's really hot in here. Matt, do you want to take those pants off?

Yeah, he only has one other liar, so he's dumb. Fuck. You guys not feeling fine? I dressed appropriately. Can you try to concentrate? Yeah, yeah. All right, thanks mate. All right guys, thank you.

Here's a serious bit. The Tsar, Nicholas II and his wife, the Tsarina. Fuck off. Tsarina! Fuck off! Tsarina. Don't like it. Tsarina. Fuck off. Sarina, I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Sarina. I don't like it. Sarina.

Doesn't know. I don't like it. They had five children together. The youngest and only male, and therefore next in line to the throne, Alexi was born in 1904 with hemophilia. Hemophilia is a, mostly inherits a genetic disorder that impairs the body's ability to make blood plots. A process needed to stop bleeding, so we can't stop bleeding.

I know, yeah, I know. I know most people probably know what hemophilia is, but just in case I put that in there, because I'm gonna talk about it for about 10 minutes. Why? Because at the time hemophilia was referred to as the royal disease. This was because across Europe.

What would it be now? Climidia. What? What do they all got? A lot of them. Even the little ones. That was too far. I never knew where the liar though.

The line moves I feel. I can't say back, does it go Climidia anymore? Who see police, god of man? It's a nanny's day. Open your eyes, sheeple. Sorry, Willow. So it was referred to as the Royal Disease. This is because across Europe, it seemed that every king queen at the time were descendants

of Queen Victoria, who herself had nine children. The question, of course, being, do they know what was causing it? And I've actually written that down here. You really did. No, that's sweet. Could it be the inbreeding? LAUGHTER Yes.

A little of that, and also her children married European royalty across the continent, which for a time is a good thing, I was seen at the time that family would be less likely to go to war with each other, which until 1914 was true. A side effect history buffs what's up? A side effect of all being related. Yes, I did just say history of sports. I can't believe it.

Glad it out, Jess. He has to earn it. A side effect of all being related is that you are susceptible to sharing the same genetic disorders. So three of Victoria's children had hemophilia and then they passed it on to their kids and the royal families of Spain Germany and Russia So Saanichlis the second his only male heir is a baby that suffers from a disease that makes even a small wound Make you likely to plead to death and at a time where medical science isn't that great? It's a really worrying thing so he's really worried about they have like just every room Band-Aids pack at a band-Aids in every room quit act quick access. access, they had them, yeah, they had the tough strip ones, they're good. They will not come off, they're

so good. Not the plastic shit out there. No, fuck those up. The ones with pictures of the wiggles on that I definitely didn't have. I definitely did. They're perfect for fingers, and as a nail bider, perfect. It's a fun, it's not all comedy. Some of it's biographical and sad. See, the line, you never know. Sometimes they hate me, sometimes they pity me, I'll take anything. I want to feel something. This is all at a time.

This is all at a time where this art was already in hot water because he just lost a war over in Japan that everyone thought Russia was definitely going to win and actually they were annihilated and they lost their whole Russian Baltic fleet. So they lost it. Sean Connery was in charge and they lost every single ship. The shopmarine inch fan even worse. I'm really happy I found some S words there. So stuff's not going well for him with the people, it's not going well at home, he's a kid

very sick. He's diaries like dude, back off, you know, it's just an old round. Please, leave me be. The biggest concern is that Alexey's going to die and the royal doctor thinks that it's likely that this baby's not going to leave and it's the only male who is really worried about that. So the doctor could not help Alexi. So the Sarina, the mother, Alexandra, looked everywhere for help, ultimately turning

to her best friend and lady in waiting, Anna, probably Anna, to secure the help of the charismatic peasant healer, Rasputin, in 1905. So they sent out a letter that were like, we need to help, and he arrived at the palace and went to work on the boy straight away, and to everyone's amazement, the bleeding seemed to stop for some time. I don't know how long.

It didn't stop, it seemed to. Um, it kept going. Oh, it stopped, no, I'm wrong, I'm wrong, sorry, it's bleeding. That resumption, that red stuff, it seemed to. It kept going. Oh, it stopped. No, I'm wrong. I'm sorry, it's bleeding. That's not that red stuff. That's blood. Thanks for coming back in for that.

Yeah. Now, some historians have speculated that the bleeding likely stopped as a result of Rasputin's insistence on disallowing medicine and they were giving him aspirin at the time, which is a unknown blood thinning agent that would have made you bleed even more. Ehh! And I'm an idiot and I know that. Anyway, no, good on your doctors.

Thanks for coming back in for that, yes. They like it when you're mean. Alright, we'll get ready, motherfuckers. Here we go. The bad boy of the Dugu on podcast over there. Yeah, that's right, Dickhead. Yeah. I walked right into that, dude. She just didn't even get in front.

Fuck, Dick. What's this gesture? The ministry returns there. What's that? That's, you know. Why are you doing that? Whenever I've got my own thing, Jessy, you have to shoot it down. People are starting to say we're doing the mat. We're doing the mat. And here you come along and make it seem less

cool than it is. Thank you very much. That's the Jess. Just shooting all over people's dreams. I have a dream, it goes like this. It's a dumb dream. And Bindio wins a beach. The deep cut, is that it? That mean anything to you at all. We just don't have time. Yeah, sorry.

But you get it right. Like, she's so patronising. Ugh. How are you, if you're fuck off! We tried to make Jess's life a bindi free zone because she gets real angry. Get real mad. Shut up, you dumb fuck! She's so annoying.

Is anyone? I'm ready for you to move on now. Sorry to interrupt you all a little rant there with some facts, but here we go. The other theory is that Rasputin may have just calmed down the boy with hypnosis. Calm down so then you know, stop struggling, stop bleeding. The other theory is he's magic. We all know which one we're going for. To the person who mattered the most in this situation, the boys' mothers, the Sarina, she was amazed and immediately enlisted the services

of Rasputin as a close advisor. So suddenly he's in, he's in with the royal family. Upon leaving the palace, he warned the parents that the destiny of both the child and the dynasty were irrevocably linked to him. him thereby setting in motion a decade of our sweetened powerful influence on the imperial family and the affairs of stink. So that's just as he left. So as he left he throws that at them. Right, thank you so much for having me. It has been absolutely delightful.

Those cookies were amazing. Thank you so much, Sonic Liz. By the way, if you ever crossed me your son's going to die, bye! Is that how it went? Do you have a transcript? Do you have a transcript there? That's pretty much exactly what I was going to say. I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm to die. Bye! Is that how it went? Do you have a transcript?

Do you have a transcript there? That's pretty much exactly what happened. And they bought it. They bought his bullshit. He's in with the top dogs. And in the presence of the royal family, Russ Fitton, he's this mark guy. He consistently maintained the posture

of a humble and holy peasant in front of them. The posture. The posture. Oh yeah. Yeah. My back hurts. Outside court, however, he soon fell into his former licentious habits. Preaching, this is what he pretends. He pretends that physical contact with his own person had a purifying and healing effect. Therefore, acquiring many mistresses and many women wanting to seduce him, because they

think that he's some sort of magic man. Sure. Okay. He's like, if you have sex with me, you'll be cool. Does that work? Asking for a friend. I have magical powers. It's going to say something really gross there and I stop myself.

That's growing up. What were you going to say you have a magical pool? Yes, yes, stop myself. That was the right choice. And then I said it anyway. That was the wrong choice. Do you see where I went wrong, guys? Yes.

Many women were keen to experience his purifying effect. But one thing I will note here is that Rasputin continued to see his family, his daughters later lived with him in St Petersburg, and he supported his wife financially. Oh man, some people just make it all work, you know. You can't have it all. You know, good relationship with your kids, but you're very absent and you can just fuck anything that moves. But your wife's not mad, but you're very absent and you can just fuck anything that moves. But you're a wife, son, mad, are you?

She ain't mad. When a cancer for a sputans conduct reached the ears of Nicholas the Tsar, the Tsar was refused to believe that the man he referred to as our friend and our holy man, a son of trust that the family had a place in him, they could do any wrongs. He's like, no, no, my guy. No, he'd never do it. He's not a slut at all. And anyone who pointed the finger at Rasputin, a backfired for them, because he's just accuses found themselves

transferred to remote regions of the Empire or entirely removed from their positions of influence. So you couldn't badmouth him. The Tsarina was particularly close to the Rasputin and began to believe that God was speaking to her through him. I've missed so much. What? What is happening?

You've been here the whole time. Where do you go? Where do you go? My lovely. Where are you? Where did you go? He's a peasant farmer, right? Yeah, he's a magic man! He's got a magic penis!

Okay, okay. Does that explain to you? Now the meat says that I hear it. I hear how gross that is, sorry. Are you on the board now? I think so, magic dick. Yeah, all right. Back on board? Yeah, back on board. All righty, magic dick. Yeah, all right. Back on board. Back on board.

All righty, welcome back. With that two words phrase we've explained everything so far on the podcast. A while fascinated by Rasputin, the St. Petersburg elite did elite, chicken and leek pie. Oh my god, I love that. We lost him. Oh, he's gone. Where am I?

Somewhere pies. He's going to So that pie's out there. Peter's burger elite did not widely accept Rasputin. He did not fit in with the rest of the royal family. And he and the Russian Orthodox church had a very strained relationship accusing him of a variety of immoral or evil practices. At one point people complained to Zanikolus, some powerful people. And they sent Rasputin way for a couple of months But then he's boy got sick again, so they brought him back and after that they never mentioned anything again

He could pretty much do anything you wanted from that boy. He could do anything or any one he wanted anyone So anyway this art wasn't doing anything to stop him But the people The people of Russia were starting to talk But the people, the people of Russia were starting to talk. Between 1996 and 1914, now various politicians and journalists use recipients' association with the Imperial family to undermine the dynasty's credibility and push for reform, making the royals less and less popular. So they start publishing all these articles in

newspapers and they have cartoons of Rasputin and everyone's like, oh, if the royals are into that kind of weird stuff, then maybe we're not into the royals. Sure, do you know what? If somebody posts an article about the royals being really into bondage, I'd like them more. You know? You're on board? I was being like, don't have their people.

Can you imagine, just just picture, because the queen must watch Netflix, you know, like, she's got down time. She watches the crown. She's like, is this fucking wrong? And say that shit's not true. But just imagine her like sitting in bed just watching Netflix. Like she's just a purse, she pulls.

No, she does not. No does not. How dare you. Blasphemous. There'd be a time in history where you'd be executed for saying that. I'm just saying. And I think we should bring it back, personally. So it's funny when he's me. Okay, yeah, cool. Finding the line.

It's right, I'm allowed to threaten anyone I want this fucker right now. No, you're cool. Love you. Hey, Dave, which one's your best mate? No, you're cool. Love you. Hey Dave, which one's your best mate? Oh, no, the Anastasia. Sorry, Jason, I went to his wedding with the guy that knows Anastasia. For sure. Afterwards, I'll show you my Anastasia song Saturday with Elton John, one of the great songs.

We can cue that up, bro. So he's in with the top dogs. People are publishing shit about him. Then in 1914, tensions and rubberies across Europe are boiling over, and I don't know where World War One is to clear. What? A war is to clear, and then it all kicks off. The first world war war and they were like I

Had that's the joke I see very good actually wasn't surprised So and as Russia entered World War one Rasputin predicted that calamity would be fall the country. And he was right because Russia was very unprepared. Okay. And it's kind of a bit of a- They had one grenade. Are we good?

I don't know. How many million people were this hand grenade killed? Two million? That's not enough. I'm going to need at least five more hand grenades. And also a big part of Russia being in the war, it's because it was the Sartonicluss' fault, so people are pretty pissed off about that, because they're not ready for that. Did diary.

Made a bit of a whoopsy. Well, he took command of the Russian army himself. That's not a good idea. Who over highly trained generals? It is I! The Tsar! May it my diary will lead this war! diary what should I do? He's gone completely mad by this time. Why he's away commanding the war, Tsar Reina took responsibility for domestic policy. So, Sarina took responsibility for domestic policy. Always, Racy. Typical, put the woman in the domestic role.

Well, now she's sort of in charge of the... Cleaning. At home. The sandwiches. For the whole country. Buying easy off bam when they run out. How many peasants were this hand grenade feed? Two million. That's not enough.

How you doing over there, Matt? That was very good. Thank you. To be honest, deserve more, but... More than you're... Ah! It makes any noise. I'm like, I've got one. I've got one. Ah! You know what? It makes any noise, I'm like, I got one.

I got one. Ah! So creepy. It's like a weird crow in here. Ah! I'm not gonna laugh the rest of the pod. It's gonna do that. I'm waiting for you.

Where you go? No. So you're keeping the cry? I don't know. All right. You okay? I don't know. Okay. So Matt, if I could just sum it up for you

because you probably zoned out the last 10 minutes, they're now in World of War once. What? Yeah. Zahnickles is away. His wife's now in charge, and her closest advisor is Russ Budent, and everyone's like, hey, she get rid of that guy

that's starting to refer to as the mad monk, and all the government officials are trying to warn her that he's a bit crazy, but she continues to defend him, and then he becomes her number one advisor, so how is it really powerful? That was a terrible idea. Yeah, it's a really bad idea. I've seen the film, He's a baddie.

He's got a little chup thing with glowing green demons in it. No. But an adorable pet bat called Bartok. He's so cute. So it all evens out, and he's like, that's fine. Actually, that was too hard on him. So he was the mad monk.

Because they called Tony Abbott the mad monk. He was the mad monk, because they called Tony Abbot the mad monk. He was the original. Yeah, there's room enough in this world for two mad monks. Wow. That's the first impressive fact you've brought today. Hey, one per show. That's all we're contractually obligated to do. So I'm happy with that.

So they don't like it when you mean to him. Interesting. Interesting. So something mean to me it when you mean to him. Interesting. Interesting. So say something mean to me, go on, let's just try. They, that really, you're here? LAUGHTER They're laughing. CHEERING

RICKED! Oh! Don't step to me again! We're going to talk about this off the pod. I am very mad at you. You know this is my hair. I talk about it all the time. Like, hi guys, this is my hair. I talk about it all the time.

Like, hi guys, this is my hair. You never listen. Dave, is this my hair? They never listen. I just don't want to say the wrong thing. So he's now in charge. And he's actually, he's so in charge. He's so in charge.

He's actually making recommendations for ministerial appointments and that's pissing off everyone. He's continuing on this side. I'm wondering if it's like you choose day 330 or? No like you can be the queen, you can be the prime minister, you can have my Tuesday at 330 appointment. So he's Oprah. Yeah.

There's room enough in this world for two mad bunks and two Oprah's, okay. There we go. He was very busy because he was managing to keep his drunkenness and affairs with women of all social backgrounds going on on the side, from street sex workers all the way to society ladies. He was everywhere and he was constantly in the papers for this scandalous behavior. I will say, Rasputin's wife, however, appeared untroubled by his infidelities, commenting he has enough for all. Eww!

Oh yeah. No, don't like that. What are they talking about specifically? We're talking about Jizm. He's got enough jiz for all. You get some jiz. You get some jiz. Everybody get some jiz!

Do not check under your seats. Oh my god. No good. Nah, give it a little tap. Sorry guys, sorry, that's enough. Come on. So people who pissed off at Rasputin, they also pissed off at the Tsarine, for bringing him in. They're also anointed her suspicious of her, because she's actually Anglo-German descent,

AKA the enemy at the time. And she was accused of being a spy for Germany. Oh. And soldiers on World War I, East and Front, apparently spoke of a dispute in having an intimate affair with Alexandra, the Sarina. No, he wouldn't. And it was past, he's got boundaries, you know?

These days it's actually considered they didn't have an affair, but at the time people are thinking that that's what's going on. Better. It's talking about that. Thanks to Claire Fungus. For people at home, she's doing the finger dick in the handbook. LAUGHTER

Yuck! So while Braumers were being published, everyone was talking, something had to be done about this recipe. Oh, okay. What's to be done about this? What are they going to do? What are they gonna do? What are you reckon about play some bits 15 I was still thinking about the hand more what was

Something had to be done about respite and I'll tell you in 1914 a 33 year old peasant woman attempted to assassinate Resputan by stabbing him in the stomach outside his home He was seriously wounded some woman attempted to assassinate Rasputin by stabbing him in the stomach outside his home. He was seriously wounded, some claring... Why was he stomach? Well, he's in testines apparently, we're hanging out of the wound. That's how bad he was. Okay, so she did all right. She did a good good.

And for a time, it was not clear if he would survive the attack. But after a local doctor performed emergency surgery in his home, and after some time in hospital, he recovered fully from the attack and this led to his legend growing. Perhaps he couldn't die. No I reckon he can. And will. I see it in art. Well, it's all the dance. Ross Spuden was aware of the dangers he was in in 1916 he wrote a letter to the Zarina and made a prediction about his own death.

Tsarina! If I am killed by a common assassins and especially by my brothers, the Russian peasants, you, the Tsar of Russia, have nothing to fear. Remain on your throne and govern. But if I am murdered by boyars or nobles, and if they shed my blood, their hands will remain soiled with my blood for 25 years. They will not wash their hands from my blood. So what he's saying is, if a peasant takes me out, you'll be fine. But if a rich person takes me out, you're fucked.

The 25 years of fucked. You think you're threatened forever. I'm happy you went 25 and not like 27. That would me fucking crazy For 21 and a half years. I'd be like I'm going back in time and killing you right now Fuck you, but 25's fine 25 so some people think you can't die enter a man named Felix usapol Usapol you support Felix was already good, you know, I was already like yeah Felix usapol Felix usapol that's great an extremely wealthy man who was husband. Where are you? I'm in my mind, I mean the place he's talking about. Which is?

No, Rasputin. All right, can't argue with that. You're in Rasputputin. Felix, who wasn't in Rasputin? Sorry, it's all of it. Felix Yusupov is an extremely wealthy man who was husband to the Sarsney. So he's a slight royalty. His family were wealthier than the royal family and possibly the richest family in all of Russia. Nice.

Nice. He managed to avoid enlisting during World War I due to being an only son, which is a loophole in Russia at the time, and he was criticized for being a coward. A relative road of him, Felix, is a downright civilian, dressed all in brown. Virtually doing nothing.

Brown. Scum color. Yeah, because he's fucking perished, his pants, he's a coward. Virtually doing nothing and utterly unpleasant impression he makes. A man idling in such time. So he's worried that everyone's talking about how he's a massive coward. So we decided to try and win back some pride for the family and the monarchy by killing the man that was tainting their image. Resputen.

Oh, okay. Plotting a... Resputen's murder. That's the guy we've been talking about. Oh yeah. Yeah, I get it. Which is not a place, even though Matthew said it. Plotting, Resputen's murder.

Huh? The murder would give you support the opportunity to reinvent himself as a patriot and a man of action. He'd look like a cool guy. Those two are this. A patriot. That's great. The most famous version of events is

described in Felix Yusupov's memoir as this. So this is the guy, the murdering, attempted murder guy writes this. So take it with a great self. OK, so he wrote a memoir, so he lives. Yeah, great. He wrote the... Can you piece a shit?

In December, 1916, he invited Rasputin over to meet his wife, the niece of the Tsar. Rasputin went to meet his wife, the niece of the star. Rasputin went probably because he thought she was a beautiful woman and they could have sex. That's why he went over. But when he got there, Felix's wife wasn't around. Rasputin was like, she was a real ego. He was like, no thanks. He's still fucked up, but he wasn't happy about it.

Okay, I just can't read you people. I'll just have read you people. I'll just have a time out. A receipt was taken to a dining? Look what you've done. Happy now? No, no, they don't want it. The saddest chance of all. One man yelling just three times and then giving up. No, they don't want it. The saddest channel of all.

One man yelling just three times and then giving up. Now just knows what it feels like when you've been left outside alone. It's a little sticky here, it says peel off. And I'm gunna. Alright, back to timeout, sorry. Back from timeout, so he's gone there, the lady that he wants to meet isn't there, but he's invited down to the basement anyway and he served a platter of cakes. He doesn't know this, but they are laced with potassium cyanide.

They're thinking, this will do the trick. To use a pop of astonishment, Rasputin appeared to be, this will do the trick. To usapov's astonishment, Rasputin appeared to be unaffected by the poison. He then asked for some Madera wine, which they'd also poisoned. He drank three glasses, but still showed no signs of distress. Keep him coming! cyanide, like really really potent poison and he's like, what's up? Where's this lady? Where is she? A disparate usapar of thinking he's playing small and he borrowed the revolver of the

Zaz cousin who was also in on the plot and he shot Rasputin in the back. He's like, oh fuck! Oh, that'll do! He fell to the floor! Not a good tone, Navi, back to his gear. I'll just do this. No one gets shot in the side. The trust you have. They picked up a gun and shot him in the side.

He's on the ground, they're shot, they're like, fuck, he's funnily dead. So they went outside to dispose of his clothes, like he's jacket and he's hat. So he's just dead and naked. Yeah, hot. That's cool. But when Felix... LAUGHTER Not good.

When Felix went back in, the body was still warm with small drops of blood coming from the wound. He lifted the body by the shirt and shook it and it dropped again to the floor. So he's like, oh, this is cool. This is cool. Man, this is sick. He then noticed that the left eye of Rasputin started to open. Like Dave?

When she sleep. Then the right eye. Also like a sleep. Suddenly, Rasputin leptin the floor with a quote, devils look in his eyes. What does that look like, Dave? He also let out a wild cry. He attacked Felix. Felix struggled for a moment and broke free.

Wounded Rasputin fell again to the floor. Rasputin, not done, crawled up the stairs and started to run outside into the snow. He was shot two more times, once in the back and then once in the head. Worried that this wasn't enough, Felix started to beat him with a rubber club. I shot him in the head, this will finish it off. A rubber club, are you just impassionate a big dildo? That's what I was thinking. I was like, what would a rubber club, oh my god.

Yeah, Russ Piedem was like, oh, I feel terrible. Oh, I feel good. Hit me again. The conspirators thinking he's now gone. They bound him and wrapped him up in cloth and threw him through a hole in the ice into the frozen, niva river. There was reputedly water in his lungs. Was he?

Was he? It was... It was... Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! You just got a standing ovation for a pun, it's awesome. Thanks for being on board tonight guys, we appreciate that. Resputively, there was water in his lungs where his remains were discovered, indicating that he had finally died by drowning. So he may have survived being shot in the head and then he was still alive when they threw him in the river. Magic man. Magic man. Magic man.

Some accounts say that the killers also severed his magic penis. His magic penis. Well, no account has ever called it a magic penis. I've just added that in for fun. I'm going to come clean. They left his normal penis alive. Queen Kettys, magic penis.

Subsequently, resulting in urban legends and claims that third parties are in possession of the penis, but apparently the... And it's here tonight. But this seems to be a mint. And then the song we play, sex, balls, sex, balls. I brought a pass it around. Have a look, pass it on. have a look, pasta dog. Have a look, don't smell it, smells awful. See, you ruined it.

We're having a nice time and you ruined it. This mic also smells like a magic penis. If you can imagine. So he's now dead. I'm afraid his body was discovered three days later. He died on December 30, 1916 at a time where the hardships of war had Russia on the verge of collapse. Three months later, or even just two months later,

March 1917, the people revolted against the kingdom in a revolution known as the February Revolution. The Russian army sided with the revolutionaries, and Nicholas II that Tsar was forced to abdicate Tsar. He hoped to seek asylum in the UK, which was initially granted, but then there was internal pressure, everyone was like, we're not one him, so they withdrew that, leaving him there. So the Russian royal family was imprisoned in a remote location. When the Bolsheviks seized power the following year in Russia in July 1918 and more revolutionaries.

The family were awoken in the middle of the night, taken into a basement and they were all quickly summarily executed. Except Anastasia, and that's where the report really begins. Oh, thank God. So we got John Q's, we got Meg Ryan. Oh, thanks for taking the heat. I've thought talking about the Russian royal family, I mean, executed was going to be a real down note, so appreciate that. We've got me out there. But, the Rasputin's prediction just before his own death had come

true, the rich people have killed Rasputin, so therefore, the royal family were fucked. And that's your end note, isn't it? I've got here, there you go, that is the story of Russia's... Russia's greatest love machine! We made it! Well done! Thank you! I've got a special surprise for you.

Could you pleasure us? It's going to be quite weird for you. Is it some sort of magic game? Yeah. We're sorry. And some ways it is. And probably weird for a lot of you, to be honest. It's weird.

What have you got? What have you got? What have you got? Oh, God. I was like, who's touching my face? Who's touching my face? It's because you know I legit, I don't know. I forgot about this bit.

So... I mean, to be honest, he boarded himself. Couldn't have been Keanu. I found one for half the price and he said no, no. No, I want the $23 one from the Campbell World market Explain the backstory Do you remember? Oh, yeah, to be honest, I can't remember it But at some point Dave said he promised everyone did anyone remember why because I can't I Promise I'm holding a watermelon on stage everyone at home. I promised that I would I was like yeah I'd be cool with humping and headbut holding a watermelon on stage for everyone at home. I promised that I would I was like Yeah, I'd be cool with humping and headbutting a watermelon

Hump and headbutt Does anyone remember? My cousin Adam has never heard He's never heard this podcast before is standing at the back corner of the bar with his arms folded And very impressed. I'd like I just like to ask Adam. can you please not tell the family about this? It's not you doing it. Adam, could you not tell my family about this? That would be...

Oh, that's right. We put it to a Patreon vote saying that whatever you vote for, I'll hum in headbutt and it was porridge, a watermelon. And of course you voted for the hardest one for my noggin. So we thought as a special treat for the hardest one for my noggin. So we thought it as a special treat for the one hundredth episode that we would do it here now as the grand finale. I don't know if I want to look at this. Are you guys kidding on this? Alright how about we should we do a three- three two one countdown then I'll do a quick hump and then I'll really headbutt it

I definitely don't want to be in the footage of it Oh, don't make me go solo! Probably a good time to... At a stage, everybody. Hissie is live! She just had to stop. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Yeah. There is legitimately no mark on the bottom line. No, Mark, I'm not going to order Mark. Oh! Great, did you enjoy that?

Let's get back up here. Probably a good chance to thank Webby on sand and on tep- Let's do the perfect music there. Please give it up for Jeremy Web on Saturday! Also Bianca on the door. Thank you Bianca on the door. The bar staff. The bar team. I like how Dave's echoing the things I say. Oh, I just like to also thank the European BKFA, which put on a great Saturday night comedy show every week. It's on tonight at eight o'clock in this very room.

So we'll probably hang out here just for a few minutes and then we'll go upstairs. But thank you so much for coming out. 100 weeks of do-go-on, yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Thank you. Thanks everyone. We'll see you next time.

Bye-bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Well, what a fun time that was a hundredth episode for me, Matt Stewart, obviously, the 98th episode for Jess Perkins and Dave Warnocky, which is also a very good milestone, I think, for them. Dave did generally hump and head by that watermelon at the end, which was, you know, I think, for them. Dave did generally help and had by that watermelon at the end, which was, you know, I think it was great. I think it was a really beautiful moment,

and I assume I think Jess was filming it, so hopefully you'll be able to see that sometime soon. Man, there was 120, some people there, it was a fucking sweet buzz to do it. It was so much fun. Hopefully it was fun for sweet buzz to do it it was so much fun hopefully it was fun for you guys to listen to. I'd love to thank everyone who was there personally but this is a couple days later now and I can't remember everyone's names. Nasta from California of hung out with a little bit thank him again for coming all the way out which is just

blew my mind, blew everyone's mind I think and also Edwood O'Connor from Sweden. What a good guy, both of those guys came to my festival show, so that's possibly why I remember their names particularly well. Anyway, I thought I'd just jump in here to quickly plug another friend show that I'm doing coming up. It's called the amazing traveling comedy tour. It's on at 9.30 at the Melbourne fringe from the 24th of September to the 1st of October at the Cornhouse Hotel in North Melbourne 8.30 on Sundays. It features great lineup of rotating list of guests including Elsa Trumblobe, Bertrand Annie Matthews from the 2 in the Think Tank podcast, which is one of our favorite podcasts, also Angus Gordon, will be there a few times,

who won the best newcomer at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. And someone who you might know is Jess Perkins, because that's her name. And she's from the Do Go On podcast, as well as many other things. She'll be there on the 26th and 29th of September. So potentially there, they're great nights for you guys to come along. And if you want, there's a discount code Do go on and Yeah, that'll be sick to see some of you guys there that would be super amazing and the other thing that I'm really meant to be doing here is thinking a few of our

Patreon Subscribers which as you guys know we love everyone who listens, but we particularly love the Patreon supporters because they help make this All financially possible for us to do Not to make it gross and about money, you know, it's just it's just nice to have their support on all levels Physically mentally and Financially, I'd love to thank these guys for starters. How about how about this guy Tom Burton? What a legend he is from a place called Albuquerque, New Mexico, which I only really know from Bug's Bunny cartoons.

I think they use that a bit as a bit of a punchline. So I don't know if it's a funny place or what, but I've been looking up its website out visit albuquerque.org, and I'm on the Things to Two tab, Things to Do, and they've got a variety of things they say you can play golf you can go on a hot air balloon over the scenic Rio Grande Valley so I think they're pretty answered over there. Mount biking, hiking among dormant volcanoes, horseback riding this sounds like a great place you could even stroll through old town.

horseback riding, this sounds like a great place. You could even stroll through Old Town. Stroll through Old Town, and that sounds like fun. So let me know, Tom, if that is the kind of thing that you'd recommend to do. I've only quickly looked up your town's website, but it sounds like a bloody ball. There to be honest. Thanks so much for your support. You are a mother-fucking legend. We've also got Michael Williams, another gun who's on our Patreon thanks so much for your support Michael he's from a town called Brighton and East Sussex I've been there I've been to Brighton I've still looked up their website I know the town well because one of my favorite musicians that cave lives there and I went down on the pier and that sort of stuff and their website does

plug the pier you got to check out the Brighton PE, it's like a wood and slats of wood that goes out a little way into the beach. That is good stuff. But I'm also looking on their website, what's on right now, and one of the key things here is, so you know this is happening to you, and actually it's got no Brighton's, it's a really big cultural town in England. But anyway, this one, this one caught my eye. They've got an event on called Stories on the Wing. British Birds in Literature. It's a free event at the Booth Museum of Natural History.

You can check this out for free. Here's there about. The special display explores the relationship between British birds and storytelling through the ages. Holy shit, am I intrigued? If only I was a little closer I'd be getting there. That's for damn sure.

And finally I'd love to thank, so sorry thank you Michael Wims, as I call him, Mickey Will. Now that's how I call him. I'd also love to thank Henry T. I'm so sorry about this Henry T. I'm going to fuck this up. Henry T. Will Hoit. Henry T. Will Hoit. I just got my face so close to the screen to make sure of it. I hopefully that's right. He's from Newberg, Oregon. I think I'm saying Oregon in the correct American pronunciation. I would normally say Oregon. probably neither of those are right. Anyway, I'm on the newbergorrigan.gov calendar tab,

and you can look at any day, right? And the day this episode is coming out is, I believe, on the 20th of September. So I've looked up things that you could do in Newberg today. If you're listening to it today, Henry T, You could go to the Senior Book Club at 1pm, if you know, if you're up earlier, you could go to Sensory Story time at 10.30am. Also they've got listed today, Suea Smoke Testing. So it is a big day in Newberg, Oregon. So I'd say it's unlikely that Henry's actually listening to the pod on this day.

He'll probably catch up in a few days time after all the bloody excitement has gone out of the town from the smoke testing in the sewer. Not fully sure that means but it sounds like bloody good time. I'm I'm gonna let the other guys know that if and when we come over to do an American tour, we are stopping by Newberg Because that sounds like a bloody good time. Thank you so much Henry for your support. You are a Motherflip and legend. I really appreciate everything you've done. What else do we normally say at the end of the episodes? I think we say stuff like you can check us out on Facebook

slash do go on pod Facebook.com slash do go on pod also on Instagram our Facebook slash do go on pod Facebook.com slash do go on pod. Also on Instagram our handle is do go on pod our Twitter handle is do go on pod. Please like us on there we add extra you know things photos and whatnot sporadically on there and also yeah the Patreon I think is would be if you looked up, do go on podcasts or something like that, do go on pod, that should get you there, that'd be really nice. And we, you know, people support us there,

but we also give rewards, I normally check in every few weeks with a bit of an email, newsletter thing, it's always very exciting stuff. Also do bonus episodes, there should be one of those coming out soon. If we haven't done one already this month, they come out monthly. Also do votes on topics and those sort of things as well. So it's a good amount of fun. Also Dave just message me, I'll ask him if he want to... Oh my god, that's really good. Apparently someone's bought bombhouse.com.

That is so funny. Alright, that was from, I think, a recent episode. Anyway, so if you looked at bombhouse.com now, I think it redirects to our podcast. That is fucking hilarious. Thank you so much to Jacob Sydney Greene. Thank you, Jacob Sydney Greene. You fucking mad dog. What else am I supposed to do?

Oh yeah, if you wanna give us a, what do you call it? Like a, give us like a bloody review thing on the podcast networks or whatever. Give us a five star rating. Yes, that'll be really nice. It helps us be more visible or whatever. And yeah, I think we got some exciting guests coming up in the next month or two, as we might have talked about, it sounds like, yeah, a few really fun things coming up, so that should be good. So stay tuned.

And anything else, I think I just say, I normally say, ladders, I think. And then Jess says, BYE, and then Dave says, you know, probably something really swarve, like, Leroydi, good on ya, keep it real in the streets, and also in the sheets. Alright, cool. Thanks so much for listening. We'll be back next week. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit PlanetBcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites

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