Do Go On - 102 - Hugh Hefner

Episode Date: October 4, 2017

A week after his death, we discuss the life of the original playboy, Hugh Hefner! There are a lot of sex jokes and Jess gets grossed out by her own report. Enjoy! Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnikey and I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart.

Hello Dave. Hi Dave. How's it going? Good, thanks. How are you, Matthew? Yeah, pretty good. What episode number is this? 102. 102. Do you think, you would think that after 102 I would get sick of men.

Now they can the intro with you, but it's still so fun. Do you do that every week? I never notice until you bring it up. You never look at me, that's why. You don't never, you don't look directly into the sun, Jess. True, true, that's fair. You burn too bright. Yeah, I'm a shooting star.

You're my sunshine. Stop it, I can't handle this. Guys. But it's great to be here, I must say. Yeah. Jess wearing a beautiful jumper there. Thank you. Dave also.

I can't wait to hear what he says about me. This is going to be the best. He's throwing out compliments. What's he going to say? Here we go. Just waiting patiently now for a real uplifting comment here. Here we go. You look like a hot dad.

I could have gone. Thanks. So many different ways. What does a hot dad look? I went for honesty. Oh, thanks, mate. It's my policy. That's real nice.

And my appearance is spot on. Thank you. You look like it. A hot son. Thanks, Dad. Is that why, is it because she was a son? That's why you call me a dad? Nah.

No reason here, man. Dave's improv skills. Dave doesn't believe in the yes-and theory. Shut up, hot mum. I'll take that. I've definitely, I mean, I've made jokes of my stand-up about looking like a mum, but I've never mentioned hot. So thank you for that.

Imagine you did that. Hey, guys, I look like a hot mum. And then hold for a woman. applause. Hold for applause, standing ovation. Thank you. I just realized as I'm sitting here that it is my report this week and I forgot to write a question again. Oh, Jess. Yeah. You don't need to write questions. That's 102 weeks in a row. Well, I mean, two out of three, you weren't meant to, but I should anyway. You're great if you wrote a question on the weeks you weren't supposed to. Just to see if I got it right. God, that'd be fun.

wouldn't it? It would be a lot of fun. It would be a lot of fun. Can I give you a moment of pause? I'll ask Dave something right. In that time, you can think of a question. Hey, Dave. Yes, Dad.

I mean, Matt. Sorry, son. I've been hoping to get to chat to you soon, son. And, um, look, it's nothing, it's nothing bad, but I just thought we needed to clear the air. Is there anything you wanted to bring up with me, son? Not that I can think of, Dad. Dave son

David David's son Dad father please admit to what you did please I can hear him

swallowing I eat some ice cream out of the container that's a different thing to what I was thinking now you're grounded for two weeks and seen can you feel that

yeah that was heart wrenching yeah heart wrenching It was a combination of gut-wrenching and heartwarming. Jess, have you ever heard of Nider, the National Institute of Dramatic Arts? Have I heard of it?

I bloody founded Nider. Yeah. What? Yeah, I found a night. Did you know that? Wow, I did not know that. Yeah, I'm a big lover of the arts. Wow.

Dramatic arts. Well done. Yeah, yeah. Well done. I saw a friend over the weekend. It was the grand final weekend. I saw a friend who's just started a new job as a courier, so he's got a lot of time in the car. A courier.

A courier. And he's like, oh, it's listening to your podcast. It's really great. I said, oh, thanks very much, Pat. That's lovely. And he goes, one quick thing. Oh, no. No, no.

No, can we just leave it there and start the show because that'd be real good. One quick thing is that he said, sometimes it takes a long time to get to the topic. And I said, that is feedback we have received. Reject it every time, sir. We are conscious of it. But, well, you know, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. It's broke. That was what I wanted to share with you.

finally enough. Delayed, delayed getting, got delayed us getting to the topic. Yeah, but I reckon if your friend heard himself being mentioned, he'd be like,

hey, I don't care. That's cool, you mentioned me. Interesting. So now we'll have anyone who complains we will mention

just to keep them interested. Don't want to do that at all. Don't do that. Edit that bit out, please, Jess. The complaints are, they hurt. Has that been enough time

to give you to our, oh, you understood what I was saying. Yeah, I got you. It was enough time to write a question. Yeah.

I still didn't write it down even though I've got a laptop in front of me, but I wrote it in my head. I mentally wrote it down with a pen on a piece of paper. That's perfect. Okay, so here's my question to you, gentlemen. Which dirty old man died last week? Halfway through, I'm like, you're doing a report on me? But no, I'm still alive.

Dirty old man died last week. I know this one. Do you know this one? I also know this one, but I'm going to give it to Matt because I feel like he takes more pride in getting him right. He does. He gets very competitive, doesn't he? Well, more pride, just because I'm the best at it. I mean, sure, if you think that's being prideful, knowing that you're the best at something, sure. I guess I'm a prideful guy.

Proud. I'm a proud man. You're the best of being humble, too, aren't you? I am the best. You're the most humble on the pod. I am the most humble. Humble. If you don't answer, I'm going to take the glory here. I think it's buddy Adolf Hitler.

He died just last week. Yeah, what a dirty old man. Probably feels like last week to you, I'm at, because of... It's time bloody flies, isn't it? If it wasn't him, the other guy died, a huge, Hugh Hefner. Hugh Heffner is correct. You're not meant to pronounce the GAA.

Hug Hefner. Hug heffner. So this was suggested by Matt Young. Is this coincidence? Well, it was in the hat and it also felt quite timely. Or bad taste. I can't really tell. We have had a couple of people tweeting it to us.

I've actually noticed in the last week saying let's talk about Hugh. Okay, I'm sorry if I missed anybody then. I just had what was already in the hat, which was Matt Young and Tabitha Horn. Probably a few others that have them. Hey, they got, they're not bandwark and jumpers. They're Hugh Hefner fans from before last week. The beginning. The beginning.

And it felt timely, but also probably, I don't know. Is it bad taste? No, because I think he was a bad guy. So I think there's no sort of time limit on that. He was not a good dude. You can dance straight on his grave. Sweet. Is that what you're going to do?

You're going to do a dance piece? Oh, yeah. No arms, ideally. Please not river dance. Dave. If I die, you can river dance on my grave. Permission granted. You just said that on the record.

Wouldn't not be offended. I'd welcome it. You know how people sort of kiss Oscar Wilde's tomb and thing? Yeah. Dance. River dance only. I'm not talking about a cha chao or a ballroom. Get the fuck off.

Have you got the full river dance? Michael Flatley, invite him to perform at my funeral, please. I'm going to do this, but I'm also then going to play this exact clip so that your family aren't like, what the fuck is she doing? I'll play this, so there's context, and I'll river dance to it. Also hoping to outlive Michael Flatley, just quietly. Yeah, I thought that was bold. From memory, though, Dave's not going to have a grave.

He's going to be shooting up with the stars. So you're going to have to dance on a rocket ship. Yeah, I'll be shot into space. I can dance on a rocket ship, la Jean Roddenbury. So I broke this up into like two, heart. So basically Hugh Hefner and then also Playboy a little bit later as well. Because it was kind of hard to do as

one overall timeline. Because there's a lot happening. So we're going to have some sweet flashbacks. We're going to have some flashbacks. Wow. I'm going to start with the man, the legend. Probably not. Well, legend's not always a positive thing, so yeah, there you go. Yeah, good call. He's infamous. I feel like I'm undecided

on him, so maybe you can convince me that he's a bad guy. Okay. Great. Well, that'll be fun. He has a really middle name. I mean, Hefner's already a pretty good name, but his name is Hugh Marston Hefner. Marston? Marston.

I like it. Me too. All right, that's already one in the good column. HM. Hef. That's Her Majesty's Hefner. Yes. Magic Hefner? Yes.

Her magic Hefner is the name of a sex toy that the Playboy Enterprises release. I've never heard of that. Never heard of that. So that's weird. That's a new thing I'm learning right now. Your eyes are darting around a lot for someone who's never heard of... Just, I'm just...

Yeah, my eyes dart when I've never heard of something. You seem... Are you sweating? No. Your palms are all... I've never sweated. I don't sweat. You don't sweat?

No. Dave, does he look sick to you? Yeah, it's because he pants like a dog. Especially when he's learning a new fact. His eyes dart. He starts panting. Oh, that's true. Yeah, no, I forgot.

You know, that he wags his tail. We say, good boy. Lie down? I have. We ever told the listeners I'm an Alsatian? Alsatian. Interesting. I would have gone Labrador.

Labrador, that's what I meant. Are they different? Oh, God. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. I want to segue into what kind of dog are we, but we don't have time. There's so much to get through.

What kind of dog is Hugh? Oh, a dirty dog. Correct. All right, let's go. Is that what you want? Let's go. Excellent. He was born during the Prohibition era in Chicago, Illinois, on April 9th, 19, 20.

He was the first child of Grace Caroline, who worked as a teacher, and Glenn Lucius Hefner, who was an accountant. Oh. With a great name. He could bounce my books any day. Glenn. What was it, Glenn Lucius? Lucius. Yeah, but Glenn.

Glenn Lucius. Glenn Hefner, the accountant. Lucius Hefner, I would have definitely got a bit on name, man. Yeah, but then would you then shorten Lucius? Lush. Loosh. Hello, they're on Loosh, your accountant. Pleasure to make your acquaintances, it's Loosh.

Oh, you can call me Loosh. I hate it. Hello, I'm Loosh. I'm here to negative gear your property. Oh, fuck, it's still boring. What a Loosh unit. Loose by name, loose by nature. It's Sean Connery.

Yeah, that's his real dad. Oh, that's interesting. Explains a lot of man who's much younger than him. Yeah, weird. Hey, the world works in mysterious ways. He attended school as relatively normally. He described his family as conservative Midwestern and Methodist. It's interesting, he's coming from a conservative family.

He served from 1944 to 1946 as a US Army writer for a military newspaper. But yeah, it was 1944. Served. Yeah, just felt, I'm picturing some sort of active duty. And in the end, he's typing up. a couple of short paragraphs about something. But they were a... What's for sale in the trading post?

They were a compelling couple of paragraphs. Yeah, right. You know, he didn't sacrifice his journalistic integrity. That took him the end of the war, right? Is that something? 44 to 46. Yeah, I wonder if he had anything to do with that. Did he kill Hitler?

Look. Here with his words. We can't confirm nor deny. Hitler read that in the bunker and was like, I've got to go. This is so moving. I won't read anything better than this in my life. I've never written such awkward prose before. I mean, what is he getting at?

He just keeps talking about bonus. And that was then that Hitler saw the writing on the wall. Bonus? Bonus. Yeah. So he graduated from the University of Illinois with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and a double minor in creative writing and art. He earned his degree in two and a half years and graduated in 1949.

After graduation, he took a semester of graduate courses in sociology at Northwestern University, but dropped out soon after. So he's an educated guy, psychology, creative arts, sociology. I'll show you my sociology. Something he would say. Wow. That's a direct quote. And that's how he knocked six months off his degree. Yeah, yeah.

Don't worry about the last semester. You're creeping us out. We'll mail it here. Please leave. You've got the degree, mate. In 1949, Hefner married North Western University student Mildred or Millie Williams, Millie Williams. Millie Williams. That's pretty good.

Mildred no good. Millie, great. I was thinking, absolute shocker. That's an amazing step-up. You've really flipped it, haven't you? Really flipped it. Millie, very good. I like that a lot.

They had two- Millie Van Willie. Sorry, not worth it. Apology. Probably not accepted. Never can be forgiven. Millie and Hep had two children. Their daughter, Christy, was born in 1952,

and their son David was born in 1955. David, what you were you born? A classic. What were you born, do you? 1965. Oh, that was close. Yeah, I know. That was close.

He was nearly my dad. I was going to say, you're the same age as my dad. You look great. Thanks. Dad has not aged well. Sorry, Dad. Before the wedding, Mildred confessed that she had an affair while he was away in the army.

And he called the admission, this is later in his life, the most devastating moment of my life. 2006 E True Hollywood Story profile on you have now. Wow, Jess has done all the research this week. It's all of this E? It's all E. Click here for the latest Justin Timberlake outfit.

No, I just had to leave that in because I love E true Hollywood stories because it parodied so often on The Simpsons or every show actually. Anyway, so. So in a profile about he revealed that Mildred allowed him to have sex with other women out of guilt for her own infidelity and in the hope that it would preserve their marriage. Oh, that's not nice.

She created a monster. But nobody wants to see much or no more. They want shady. I'm trapped liver. You set me up for that. He nodded so smugly when I did it. I've started this thing at work. I'm still confused by it, but anyway.

There's five new people who just started at work, and any time any of them say, question, I go, tell me what you think about me. And I do it every time. So now it's because they're like, they do it on purpose. I was going to say they'd never say the word question anymore, but the opposite. If they say, can I ask a question? Or I have a question.

It doesn't bother me. When they just start with question, I have to sing at him. I don't even like that song. Anyway. Hugh have no. Is that by Scandalos? No, that was, um. Well, that's Desi's Child.

Oh, the other. great trio. Yes. The other great trio. Oh, wait, are we one of the great trios? Yeah, we're the third great trio. We make up the great trio of trios. I'd fucking take that.

Oh my God, I'd take that. The fourth great trio is the trio of dips humus. Avocado. No. Spicy caps. What's wrong with you? Wow, Satsiki didn't even make the top three. And I've dropped off avocado.

I meant guacamole for starters. Sure, good. Avocado dippers, no good. Have you ever looked at the ingredients? It's cream cheese, 95% avocado, half a percent. Oh. It's a real dog of a product. Not at all deserving to be in the great trilogy.

Tisiki, though. Tsycchi. Should have been Tiziki in there. Yeah, Sizekiki. You fucked that up. Well, I would have. If I knew how to say it, I definitely would have said it. And spicy capsicum. Spice capsicum. Oh, love a spice capsicabsum.

Number one. The king. God, we're good friends, aren't we? We're very good friends. You can judge friendship based on what you put in your top tree of dips. Absolutely. Absolutely. I really like the olive one too.

Yark, olive sucks. Really? No, I like olive too, Dave. And also a spicy North African. Oh, you're just such a wanker. I'll go with capsicum. Oh, you'd put up with it, would you? At our little dip party?

Yeah, I put it with it. But you turned up anyway. To be honest, if you're not into it, don't waste it on yourself, mate. Don't force it, yeah. That's ours. There's only a small portion there. so please go home understood

okay I'm going to tell myself to go on please do go on thank you in January of 1952 hefner left his job as a copywriter for Esquire after it was denied a $5 raise

fair you stick to your guns I think that's per week or just per year just a one-off payment can I have he just asked the boss can I have five dollars for a sandwich they said no and he said I fucking quit.

But the boss actually said, oh, I actually don't have any cash from me. And he was about to be like, let's go out together and I'll pay for lunch. I'll put it on the card. Yeah, I'll pop it on the card. It's not 152. I've got a card.

Dinus Club was just invented. I'm cool. Anything you want on the menu. Don't limit yourself to five. And then he quit on the spot because he was hot-headed, impulsive, but a savvy businessman. And I admire that.

Dave, give him another point in the good list. He's got seven. Okay. Nothing, maybe guilty his wife into letting him have sex with other women, that's a minus. I don't know if he guilted her. I feel like she felt guilty and he took advantage of the guilt. Oh, she guilted herself. She guilted herself and he was like, well, the side effect of her guilt is me getting to have sex with babes.

Wow, plus three. Yeah, knowing what we know about him, I'm sure it had nothing to do with him. It's been a weird manipulative dickhead. No, I think he was just trying to make her feel better. He was doing it for her. He didn't like it. A good guy. He didn't want to do it.

I reckon, maybe we should start the process of getting him canonized. Okay. As in put into a cannon and shoot his ashes out into the space. No, that's... With me. Yeah, with that. No, Dave doesn't deserve that. No, we're going to shoot him into Dave's butt.

Pack him in. Pack him in. Wear the plastic trousers. Man, whenever we refer back to old episodes, without context, new listeners would find all of this very bewildering. That's episode 10. 10, bloody hell. That's so long ago, but it's still my favourite.

If you haven't, go back, do yourself a favour. Check out what happens to your body. So good. Spoiler alert, your ass gets packed. With Hugh Hefner's ashes. Anyway, so he quits his job because he doesn't get an extra $5. And the next year, in 1953, he took out a mortgage and he got a bank loan of $600 and he raised $8,000 from 45 investors, including $1,000 from his mother to launch Playboy.

And he said about his mother's investment, not because she believed in the venture, but because she believed in her son. It's beautiful, isn't it? That's beautiful. Is that from E Hollywood? It is from E? You are correct. This just in Hugh Hefton's mother believes in son. We'll tell you the top five reasons why Justin Timberlake.

His mother didn't believe in him right after this. It's good stuff. He formed HMH Publishing Corporation and recruited his friend Eldon Sellers to find investors. Originally, they were going to call the magazine Stag Party. That's fun. Stag party. That's what they call Bucks parties in England, I think.

Stag party. Is it? Yeah, like a stag do. And in America, they're called... Bachelor parties? Bachelor parties. What amazing cultural range we have across the countries. We call them Bucks.

In America they call it Spring Break for the final time. That's what they call it. Okay. Wow. I'll be a tour guide to America. Okay, great. We're in good hands. The publishers of an unrelated men's adventure magazine, Stagg,

contacted Hefner and informed him that they would file suit to protect their trademark if he were to launch his magazine with that name. So Hefner and his wife Millie and their mate sellers met to seek a new name, and they considered some of these options before they chose Playboy. So here's some other options it could have been. Top Hat! Love it. I don't mind Top Hat.

Top Hat magazine. Stag Party, I reckon, would have definitely been a failure. Yeah. Top Hat? Top Hat could have been iconic, I reckon. What about Gentleman? Gentleman. Not gentleman, gentle man. And his gentle, like, in italics, and man is just straight up.

I'm not sure how the typography would have been, but here it's just written as gentleman. Well, e-news needs to do more research. Or Jess does, I don't know. Sir? Is it on it? Sir magazine? Sir magazine. Not bad.

Go down the shops, pick me up, but copy a Sir. I think Top Hat's winning for me. Pan? Pan. Pan. Peter Pan. Was that suggested by his secretary? Um, how about we name it up to me?

Pan. Pan. Pan. Oh, Pam. Pan. No, her name's Pan. Pan. Pan.

Pan. You're saying Pam or Pam? Should have named it Pam. I don't, yeah. Pan. That's no good pan. That's what you shovel rubbish into. It's also what critics do when they don't like something.

Oh, yeah. They pan it. It was critically panned. They don't pan it, do they? Well, Jess has never been criticized, of course, but Matt and I many times have been panned. I know all about pan. Oh, we've been panned night and day.

It must be awful. Yuck. I'm sorry, Jess. You're near failure. Any other options? Bachelor. Bachelor magazine. The Bachelor.

So he's gone from stag to what do people call stag parties? In our country. He should have called it Bucks. Bucks. And then sell them. Sellers was the one he suggested Playboy, and then they were. Do either of you know who the first centrefold was of Playboy magazine? Yes, Anna Cornicova.

Anna Cornicova. A very young Anna Cornicova. I do know who it is. Is it Marilyn Monroe? Correct. Oh, it is. Who is born in the same year as he was? Anna Cornucova. Yeah.

Yeah, she looks really good. And it was actually quite good at tennis for her age in the 90s. She was panned. Because she never won a title Yeah, she never won a title But she was also in her late 70s at the time So quite successful Yeah

People don't often mention that What I find funny is that The yeah so Marilyn was the first centrefold She was in the And she was on the cover of the first ever Playboy magazine The picture that they used was originally taken For a calendar

Rather than for Playboy It was just a picture that already existed And they're like, we'll have that Put that in their magazine Which is weird because people already had the calendar Yeah but unlike now you can't just Google any image. Like once that calendar's gone, they're like...

Once it's destroyed. Just reuse that calendar? Because people throw out calendars too. Not like now where we keep them. Yeah. Good old bloody box full of them at home. I want to know what I was doing on that day. January 4th, 1996.

What a great day. Was it an iconic shot? Actually, I didn't know it was Marilyn Monroe. That was, I don't know why. Really? That was a guess. That was a great guess. I hadn't seen it before, but it's a nude.

so I don't think we probably would have seen all that many nudes of Marilyn. I've seen that. All right, mate. The one I'm thinking of is her getting the air blown up her. No, she's got way too many clothes on. Her dress. Air blown up her. That sounded awful.

Hefner chose what he did to be the sexiest image of Marilyn. And it was her, she was all stretched and she's got one arm up. And she's on, like, there's a velvet background. And her eyes are closed and her mouth's open. That's what he decided was the sexiest. Wow, it sounds super hot. That sounds very sexy. That's so gross.

We should do a side podcast. It's called Jess Describes Pornow. She's got her arm up. Yep, she looks happy, I guess. Her mouth's open because she's eating a big sandwich. It's huge. She's getting food everywhere. It's quite a bit of...

But Hugh, it was really into food porn, early food porn. And food porn early days was just porn with food. With food. Having a lasagna whilst getting your baps out. BAPs being small bread rolls. Yeah. Which of course goes well with the lasagna. Delicious. You've got to have some bread on the side. I used to do this community TV show in the mornings.

And I knew you weren't allowed to swear on it. It was like on a youth network thing. And I once called, I said, get your baps out. Because I was talking about when I went traveling in France and on the beach, I'm like, yeah, everyone had their baps out. And I got in trouble from the executive producer afterwards. Did you? I'm like, surely, baps.

Baps are fine. No, but apparently not. Uh-oh, my phone's ringing. Hello, executive producer. Oh, no. That executive producer was Evan Munroes Smith. I was going to say, was that producer the guy who's downstairs right now. He's actually not that mad at you.

We formed a friendship that lasted through the years. That's beautiful. At work recently on our live chat thing, one of my colleagues said, like, yeah, sorry, we've been a little bit slammed today and then got in trouble for using the word slammed because that can be sexual. What? I was like, in what universe? I've never said that.

That's not what... Can't wait to go home and get slammed. I've been really slammed today, though? Did you write that back to the person? We're getting slammed today. You wrote back, can't wait to go home and get slammed. Yes.

That's why the boss was like, spit weird. That could be why. Yeah, I would never have thought about it like that. Slammed. It just means like, I always sort of like slammed against a desk. Oh no, that doesn't help. Slammed against a wall.

Working hard. You know, you're bent over, working hard. Growning at the bloody your nose to the grindstone. Working. Working. Working. Working. Yeah, okay.

You guys aren't allowed to fly virgin, are you? As a company, because, wait. The boss would panic. No, that's what he wants. He doesn't want any slam and he's happy with virgins. Oh, sorry, you can't fly hardcore sex airline. Can't. Can't do it. You can't, yeah. Sex air.

Sex air. Anyway, back to Marilyn Monroe. Nude. Having sex air blown up her. Sex air. What's the airline name? I know, but like what would sex air be? If you're all out of jissive. It's just air. Oh, more out. I reckon Hugh would have that happen to him a few times.

This big dust. Puff of dust. Well, eight of years, no doubt about that. It's that noise. Hmm? I'm Dustin. All right, gross. I hate having this conversation with you guys.

Right, we'll get Hugh in here to talk about it instead. I'm sorry that I did this. It's bit of when a 94-year-old man talks about it. It's weird that this Hugh Heffner episode led to some gross sex talk. It is weird, isn't it? So they promoted Marilyn's Centipold very heavily, lots of promotion about it. And there was like lots of teasers in the market. And it made the new Playboy magazine a huge success.

The first issue sold out in weeks. The known circulation was 53,991 copies were sold. Does that piss you off? That's a lot. Very much so. Yes. What happened to the nine copies? Just fucking sell some more.

Or less. That's all I'm asking. You're open a compromise and I like that. I'm very flexible. The cover price was 50 cents. God, tell you what, really, boys. Copies of the first issue that are in mint or near mint condition sold for over $5,000 in 2002.

Five grand from 50 cents. That's pretty good, and that's 15 years ago. Why don't we get rarer and rarer? What a markup. Here's a little fun fact. I've got some fun facts in here, but I've just dispersed them throughout the report. Why save them for the end? You can enjoy it all now.

Hefner, who had never met Marilyn Monroe, bought the crypt next to hers at the Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery in 1992 for $75,000. Oh man, he's a... Never met her. Never met her. She just wanted to be buried next to her. Buried next to her bones.

Yuck. Something weird about that. Surely you want to... Something weird about everything. Well, she's probably dust now, and we know how much he loves a good old dust. He loves a dust. Oh.

Um... So I've got a few, a few kind of, I suppose this is a bit about Playboy and a little bit about Hugh. Dave. Mm-hmm. Is it about, do you say about Dave? What did you say then? It's a bit about Playboy and a bit about Hugh. You're talking to Dave?

That is so good. Fuck you. The regret face. I reckon I would have worked better if you'd said about me. No, about Hugh. Yeah, that would work better. See how Dave's better at jokes? You were looking at Dave, that's all.

You said about Hugh, and you were looking at Dave over there. I should have picked up on that, because I have a friend at work, his name is Hugh, and I make those jokes to him all the time. I think you've already made that joke in this episode. You've talked about it? No, you've talked about Hugh on this pod before. Yeah, you have. And at the time, that night.

Yeah, you said you used it in a lot of sentences. Yeah. And then used one. I couldn't think of one. And then you go, I hate you. I hate Hugh. Oh, we do have fun, don't we? There was a science fiction short story written by Charles Beaumont,

and it was called The Crooked Man. And it was rejected by Esquire magazine in 1955, but Hefner agreed to publish a story in Playboy. The story highlighted straight men being persecuted in a world where homosexuality was the norm. After the magazine received angry letters, Hefner wrote a response to criticism where he said, if it was wrong to persecute heterosexuals in a homosexual society, then the reverse was wrong too. It's weird. He's like a very liberal person. He's like kind of ahead of the time. There's a lot of the stuff that he does. And then every another

you're just like, oh, that's not such a bad. Oh, yuck. He's so gross. I'm still in the positive for me. Okay. That's interesting. You lost one for the Maryland crypt thing. That's a bit weird. Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, I'm a bit weird. I don't, I don't mark him down too. crazily for that. It's just knowing that he, like,

I just read this article recently that was painted him pretty negatively. There's a lot that come out since the day. It's not just Marilyn that's buried in that area. There's like dozens of really... No, no, no. It's just a hill. She's buried on top, and it was nice and peaceful. And then he was like,

coming on there next tier, tuts. That is untrue. There are dozens of celebs, and it's, you know, really famous people are buried there. Who else? Like Frankie Munez? Is Frankie Munez buried? there?

Yeah, he is. He's in the middle between his two brothers. RIP, Frankie Mines. You just get that? I'm slow to that. People like Dean Martin, like, you know, really... He's the go with Dean Kane. So you there as well?

Dick, yeah, the original... The best Superman. The best Superman. And best Ripley's Believe it or not host we've ever had. Wow, that's a big call. A big, big call. It was a huge call. Okay, well, let's see how you feel about this.

I don't really understand. In 1970, Hugh Heffner stated that militant feminists are unalterably opposed to the romantic boy-girl society that Playboy promotes and ordered a hit piece in his magazine against them. So now he's against feminists. Yeah. Which is fair, because they probably don't really like what he does. True. Militant feminists.

Militant feminist. And they don't like the boy girl. What don't they like? They don't like the romantic boy girl society that Playboy promotes. Playboy is all about romance, you guys. Yeah, that's what I think a lot of people miss. Yeah. It's about romance and treating women as objects.

It's very romantically gross. And that's nice. I think so. Yep. Ugh. In 1959, this will surprise you. Hugh Hefner and his wife, Millie, got divorced. Really?

I know. He wasn't letting him sleep with enough women on the side. Weird, isn't it? Very strange. Oh. He remade himself as a man about town. A lifestyle he promoted in his magazine and two TV shows that he hosted. Playboy's penthouse and Playboy After Dark.

I like it when they're after dark episode. That's when they really get adult. None of that PC, PG. That's when they have the night vision. You know, they always had Big Brother up late. Yeah. I watched a lot of that. Did you?

I had a phone that the deal was like they had Big Brother just streamed live 24 hours a day on it. And I would watch that going to sleep sometimes. Just what am I doing with my life? I can't think of anything that would put you to sleep quicker than watching people. No, I mean, that was kind of the idea, but you'd just be like, I don't know, it was mesmerizing. I was in uni days. I had no real thing to get up for in the morning, apart from, you know, at higher education. Which we're putting to use.

Yeah, no doubt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Anyway, so now he's a man about town. He admitted to being involved. Do you want to say when I say, involved?

Maybe when you finish the sentence. Involved. I think I know what she means. With maybe 11th out of 12 months worth of playmates during some of these years. Imagine being the one who doesn't get fucked by Hugh. But also... What's all with me? Hugh, come on.

Imagine. Seriously, Hugh, I'm great. I'm good enough. Good enough for the cover, Hugh. That annoys me a lot too because 11. Just do one more. Just do one. Or one less.

Take August off. Have you ever heard humans be measured in months before? Yeah, it's nice. 12 months of women. Months worth. Months worth. Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? A boned a bloody month's worth of women last night.

Yeah. That made my skin crawl. I didn't like that at all. Thank you. I think I'm starting to understand what you meant by. involved. In. Oh, in.

Is he still with Millie? Very good. Is he still with Millie? No, they got divorced. Yeah. Do pay attention, Matthew. Yeah, no, I caught that. Yeah, look, I mean, you're, yeah, it's a tricky one, right?

People are all out of bone, right? Yeah. Oh, but 11 out of 12 months worth of playmates? Yeah, that's a, that's a probably not. a good sign. Not great. That he's probably using his power in kind of full-on ways. Maybe.

I don't know. In 1971, he established a second residence in Los Angeles with the acquisition of the Playboy Mansion and in 1975, moved there permanently from Chicago. Is it just so lucky that he happened to buy a house that was already called the Playboy Mansion? It's so convenient. It's like when we buy the Dugo on Palace. Palace.

We decided that the O's have little grottoes in them. Yeah. Which is a very heff. Yeah, and we get a grotto each too, which is dice. Mm-hmm. And we get 11 out of 12 months each. That was before... Had you ever thought, like, because I...

I never really thought much about him either way. I just knew he was an iconic guy. I never thought, but it was only after he died that started saying that... I don't know, maybe in my particular online bubble that I existed. Yeah. It was a lot of negativity. I wonder if other people don't feel that way. I'm not sure.

I do see a lot of people praising him, I will say. In other news. For what, though? For being progressive. Yeah. For his time. That's the way some people framed it. Yeah.

And, yeah, I think a lot of articles have come out that are kind of like... He was really trapping in the... You know how he had three girlfriends at a time? And they weren't allowed to leave. He had seven at one point. Right. Which I will talk about. And he sort of guilted them into having sex with him and stuff like that.

Some of these stories have come out. So... They had like allowances and they had to have... like breast implants and it's quite gross. Look, I'm going to put a couple in the negative there. Interesting. Just a couple. Interesting.

In 1985, he had a minor stroke at the age of 59. All right, back in the positive. After re-evaluating his lifestyle. Positive. He made several changes. I'm waiting to hear what they are before. The wild all-night parties were toned down significantly, and in 1988, his daughter Christy took over the operation of the Playboy Empire.

Oh, the daddy's proud. Nepotism. The following year, he married Playmate of the year, Kimberly Conrad. They were 36 years apart in age. Nothing wrong with that. Age is just a number. I think, is she younger than his actual daughter? Probably.

Yeah, you didn't mention if she was older or younger. 36 years different. He's... She's older. She's 400 years old. No, she's... six years younger and they had two sons. Marston Glenn, after his middle name and his father.

Marston Glenn and Cooper Bradford. So they were born in 1990 and 1991, so they're our age. No one got Lucius. No one got Lucius. The second one was good. The first one was the worst of both words. Marston Glenn. Yeah, no good.

Marston Hefner and Cooper Hefner. What's Marston to short? Mastie. Marty? You really have to do some pretty big augmentation of that name. Augmentation means make bigger, doesn't it, Dave? That doesn't make sense at all. All right, great.

But Hugh would be happy to be augmented things. He would. He's very happy with that. Big on the augmentation. He loves an augmentation. Or he did. God rest his soul. So according to a source that I haven't...

E News! E True Hollywood Story, they noted that the notorious Playboy Mansion was then transformed into a family-friendly homestead. After he and Conrad separated in 1998, she moved into her house next door to the mansion. So she had her own mini mansion next door. Convenient.

That's a night. So obviously that split was pretty all right. Yeah, it seems to be, I think so. How about his first wife? Who knows where she is? I think she also lived on the property. Really? In a small house.

So he looks after his wives. For the rest of her days, I believe. So he's, okay. Assuming they're allowed to leave. Mew. Just collecting women. Oh, yuck. So it sort of sounds like.

Yeah. He's collecting 11 out of 12 women. Sorry, yes. Thank you. He became known for an ever-changing line-up of young women who lived and hung out in the Playboy Mansion, including twins Sandy and Mandy Bentley. He dated as many as seven women at once at one point,

but then he was like, oh, it gets too catty. It gets too competitive when you have seven of them. Let's max out at three. So for a long time He had three girlfriends They were in the show that was It was called Girls Next Door But I'm pretty sure here it was called Girls of the Playboy Mansion

Yeah I used to watch a few episodes of that I watched it all the time It was very popular, isn't it? Yeah So you had Holly Bridget and Kendra And they were so different those three Good heavens Holly always called

Heff Baby Puffin Which was weird But she would say like Baby Puffin And I hated her I hated her so much much. Puffins are the birds whose beaks fall off.

Do they're beaks fall off? Or they're dicks fall off? I might have made that up. They're beaks don't fall off. Dave. They're definitely birds. Okay, great. You nailed that part.

So yeah, there was that series, also on E. About their life at the Playboy Mansion, which seemed fun, I guess. Wow, what was happening in that episode? Someone in the grotto, I reckon. Yeah, something's getting a big. Grotto. The word is so good. Grotto.

Grotto. What a grotto. But it's such a nice thing. Like a grotto is beautiful. Beautiful grotto. The word grotto. Yeah. Oh, yuck.

Anyway, in October of 2008, all three of those girls, Holly, Bridget and Kendra, all decided to leave the mansion. And after an 11-year separation, Hefner filed for divorce from Conrad, citing in reconcilable differences. So he's just had a string of girlfriends living at the house with him, while still technically married. And they found that hard to reconcile over. Interesting.

He stated that he only remained nominally married to her for the sake of the children and his youngest child had just been 18. But 11 years. His kid walks in on him with seven girls and he's like, don't worry, Conrad, I'm married to your mom. Yeah, that's weird. That's still scarring. On December 24 in 2010, he became engaged to Crystal Harris,

who was going to become his third wife. She broke off their engagement on the 14th of June 2011, five days before their planned wedding. Oh, you're not going to get a refund on that. In anticipation of the wedding, the July issue of Playboy, which reached store shelves and customers' homes within a few days of the wedding,

featured Harris on the cover, and in the photo spread as well, and the headline on the cover read introducing America's princess, Mrs. Crystal Hefner. Oh, did they have time to pull it? But no. I bet some people had time to pull it. Yeah, most people that are,

subscribe to the Playboy did not even notice the headline. They got back together and were married, I think, a couple of years later in 2014. So they did get married. They did get married. So they just reprint that issue? I don't know. Does anyone buy...

So people, that's still a magazine that's a physical magazine? Who buys any magazines now? I don't understand. Yeah. Yeah, where do you see him at the airport? Magazines. But you're not buying Playboy to read on the plane, are you? No, that'd be a bold move, I reckon.

Yeah. Stop strangers from talking to you, though. Yeah, that's true. Slap down a copy of Playboy. Yeah, slapped it. Slap it down, and up and down. Absolutely slammed this issue with Playboy. In January of 2016, so just last year,

the Playboy Mansion was put on the market for $200 million on the condition that Hugh Hefner would continue to work and live in the mansion. Later that year, it was sold to Derren Metropolis. was a principal at a private equity firm for a hundred million, so half. It's a good discount. Yeah, and he planned to connect the Playboy Mansion property with a neighbouring estate that he'd also purchased and just have this giant three-acre compound of his own.

Yeah, is he like the son of a Greek billionaire, I think? So they're worth a lot. He was a lot. But he wouldn't get access to it, so Hefner just wanted to, did he hit financial trouble, Heff? Yeah. Right, because no one's buying his magazine anymore. Yeah, right, that makes sense. Yeah.

I was wrong before and I said they got made in 2014. They got married like the next year after they broke up. So they sort of had a tiff in 2011. They got made in 2012. So I wanted to talk a little bit as well about Playboy, because I just sort of went straight into the man, the myth, the legend. But what is Playboy? That's a very good question.

Dave, what is Playboy? What is Stag Party? Exactly. What is Stag Party? So I want to talk a little bit about Playboy itself and it's rise and fall and then I'll wrap up a little bit too. It'll rise again at the end though, right? In a way. With Viagra.

Thank you. Yes. Very good. I thought Dave was going to do it and he didn't and he made me. So thank you very much. He made you do it. Yeah, he made me do it. He made you rise and fall.

Yep. He roofed me with a Viagra. And I've been, buddy, rock hard mentally, four hours. Dave, you stimulate me. Mentally? Mentally. That's beautiful. Thank you.

Anyway, so Playboy. Obviously notable for its centerfolds of nudes and semi-nude. Have you ever bought a Playboy magazine? No. Neither have I. It feels like, you know, something that like the tough 14-year-old, you know, when you're 13 or something, the tough kid comes to school with a Playboy magazine or something. That they found in the bushes.

Yeah, but who's actually buying, whoever bought them? Yeah. I think it was. was dads. Maybe dads. Oh, horny dads. I think it was horny dads. The only times I ever heard about it was like kids go and they found their dad's stash.

Actually, there was one kid at school, but maybe it was hustler or something. He found his dad's stash of pornos. And now it seems like, don't touch that. Yeah. Stay away. That's real weird. Oh, dad. Yuck.

Anyway. Dads. Dads. Dads can't wank, all right? New rule. Yeah. No wanking dads. I think it's a very good.

rule. No wanking dads. I think that's a very good rule. Dad's out there. If you're a dad? Do as Dave says. Hand off it. Get off it, no.

I know there are people out there who do use our podcast as stimulation. They love a little mental stimuli. Oh, facts. No, I just listen to the podcast for the articles. Just their voices are so seedy. But if you're a dad, do as I do, not as I say. No, the other way around. Do as I say, not as I do.

Do you wank to podcasts? As a dad, yes. As a dad. As a dad. As a busy dad. I like to multitask. I have to wank on the go. On buses.

Train. At my cubicle. At the employment office because I got fired for wanking at the cubicle. You can wank in a toilet cubicle but on an office cubicle. This world is very hard to understand. What's the difference? Even wanking in a toilet cubicle. cubicle at work is probably inappropriate

I reckon. Is it? Say! Yeah, that's fucking gross. Why you always go to the John? Oh, no. Anyway, Ugh, ugh. Playboy played an important role

in the sexual revolution and remains one of the best, uh, the world's best known brands, having grown into Playboy enterprises incorporated with a presence in nearly every medium. Was it a violent revolution? Yeah. How many people lost their heads?

Explosive. In a way. I hated myself for that one. Guilatine the prudes. In addition to the flagship magazine of the United States, special nation-specific versions of Playboy are published worldwide. I'm sure I've seen a Playboy magazine with a girl in an Australian flag bikini, so that makes sense.

Yeah, she goes too right. On your cobbah. On your cobbur. Check out these baps. You ogling me baps. You ogling me baps. You Aiglin' BAPs. Yeah, good on you.

All right. The magazine has a long history of publishing short stories by notable novelists, such as Arthur C. Clark, Ian Fleming, Roald Dahl, and Margaret Atwood. I like that Roll Dahl's been published in Playboy. I love that a lot. Charlie in the Chocolate Factory looks at some Babs. And there was also, like, lots of quite famous cartoonists.

I mean, I didn't recognize any of their names, but... I've got a golden dinger. I've got a golden dinger. Oh, yuck. Ding is such a funny and awful word. Good on it, good on it. I've featured monthly interviews of notable public figures such as artists, architects, economists, composers, composers, conductors, film directors, journalists, novelists, playwrights, religious figures, politicians, athletes, and race car drivers. Wow.

You want it, yeah. Boobes, boobs. Oh, an article with an interview with the Pope. Oh, Nelson Mandel is free now. Can you imagine being at a, like, a press conference with something quite serious? I was like, Hedges Perkins' Playboy magazine. Playboy magazine, do you plan to get your BAPs out or should I leave? We have a photographer here who's got a huge erection.

Must become numb to it, right? A Playboy photographer? Surely. It would be all that business, you know, like, not the right photo, move a little bit, you know? Yeah. It's about art. for them. They're artists. Oh, that's true. Yeah, I forgot that. After a year-long removal of most nude photos

in Playboy magazine, the March April 2017 issue brought back nudity. Yeah, I remember there was a big announcement where they said, we're getting rid of nudity. Getting rid of full frontal nudity. So was it still bikini-clad women? Yeah, they still weren't, no, but they could be nude but from the side. It's interesting, I guess, because they must be like, what's the point of us now in the internet age?

Exactly right. That was sort of the argument that any sex act is available. That's like one of the chief executives was saying, like you can Google anything and look at it. So we're more about the articles now. I love how we explain Google. You can Google anything and look at it. I want to just explain it to the CEO.

Sorry, boss, I've got to show you something. This is how Google works. Oh my God. We'll be ruined. What happens after? you've Googled it though. As long as people don't look at it. No, that's what happens.

Then they can look at it. Oh no, we're ruined. How many people know about this? In June of 2009, the magazine reduced its publication schedule to 11 issues per year. So Hugh was like, I can just take the month off. Yeah, they combined July and August. He's doing 11 out of 11. And then due to significant losses in the company's value,

down from $1 billion in the year 2000 to $84 million in 2009. Whoa. Yeah. That's a big drop. It's a 92% drop. I hope he sold at the top there. The Playboy Publishing Empire was up for sale for $300 million. In December 2009, they further reduced the publication schedule to 10 issues per year with a combined January-February issue.

Oh, you would have loved that. 10 is fine. 10 wanks a year is enough. I'm being very reasonable. Wow. Also very economical with your wanks. One per magazine. You got a time.

them right. Now give it back. Yeah, so in October of 2015, it was what we touched on before. Touched on, gross. Playboy announced that starting with their March of 2016. You've become very prudish. I have. You can't say anything without your boss coming in being like a kind of language around here.

Because this has made me... Yeah. Well, if only there was someone to blame for this topic. This was... All right. Well, good call. The Playboy CEO, Scott Flanders, He acknowledged that the magazine's inability to compete with freely available internet porn and nudity

was the reason that they stopped full frontal nudity in their magazine. And now he says, this is what he actually said. You'll now one click away from every sex act imaginable for free. And so it's just par se at this juncture. Okay. So they redesigned Playboy. However, they'd still feature Playmate of the Month and pictures of women, but they'd be rated as not appropriate for children under 13.

This didn't affect Playboyplus.com, which features nudity at a paid subscription, of course. And then Josh Horowitz of courts argued that the motivation for the decision to remove nudity from the magazine was to give Playboy licensing a less deviant image in India and China, where the brand is a really popular item on apparel. So they're like, if we seem less dirty to that market, we can sell more merch. Oh, wow. That's pretty clever. Because, yeah, that bunny symbol is pretty iconic.

Yeah. If not for just like personalized number plates and fluffy mirror accoutrements. That's not the right use of that word, is it? So then in Feb of 2017, they dropped, they brought back nudity and admitted that the dropping of the nudity had been a mistake. What a thing to admit? This is so good that the announcement was. was made by the company's chief creative officer on Twitter with the hashtag, hashtag, naked is normal.

Okay. Thanks for that. It's also just been introduced to how Twitter works. Yeah. Hashtag. Okay. How about naked as normal? Don't check if it's been used before.

I like it. It's catchy. A few little fun facts here for you. The best selling Playboy edition was the November of 1972 edition, which sold 7,161,561,561 copies. That's amazing. A quarter of all American college men were buying or subscribing to the magazine every month. Was it because of an icon?

No, so it's not the peak of it being a legitimate thing to do. Yeah, and this is really fun. In 1970, Playboy became the first gentleman's magazine to be printed in Braille. I love the euphemisms, Gentleman's Magazine. Yeah. It's such a Gentleman's magazine. Like top hat, all those things they're trying to do. It's for gentlemen.

Oh, it's a very classy sort of, you know what I mean? We just have Marilyn Monroe shown at BAPS, you know, it's very delicate sort of, you know. It's not anyone, not just scummy boys can be in here. No, no, no, no, no. They're very, very, uh, classy. Our BAPs are worth millions. I'm smoking a cigar right now, yeah, that's far. and a pipe at the same time.

Jess is going to let me keep going, and she is quite a fan of sort of letting me dig a hole, and she's really trying to test me out here, and I think I'm definitely making her regret letting me go, because I will just keep talking, and she will eventually come in, I assume, and now this is a real game of chicken we've got on their hands. Anyway, so we mentioned the logo, the Playboy logo, the Bunny, you mentioned that just before that.

The mascot, which is a stylised silhouette of a rabbit wearing a tuxedo bowtie. Very classy. Very classy. And nothing else. Nothing else. FAPS on display. It was created by Playboyed art director, Art Paul. His name's Art Paul.

Fuck, that's cool. If his name was Art Porn, it'd be even more impressed. It was actually just, he created it for the second. an issue just as an end note, but it was adopted as the official logo and has appeared ever since. And it was a running joke in the magazine that, um, a running joke in the magazine involves hiding the logo somewhere in the cover art or photography. What a fun joke. That is a fun, that is funny too, fun and funny. Hefton said he chose a rabbit for its humorous sexual connotation because the image was

frisky and playful. It was very frisky. He was a frisky bunny. And a gentleman. Oh, in a tuxedo. I hate what I was doing there. I read an article that was originally published in 2011. It was republished after Huff had died,

and this writer Camilla Long did not hold back. And I loved it, the way that she talked about Heffner. So she went into the Playboy Mansion and was just like, it's now what was probably, you know, the 70s and even through the 80s, this place of like glamorous big parties and like just, like drugs and alcohol and all sorts of like parties, it now is just looking really worn and old and decrepit and gross. And I've got...

Similar to... Yeah, well, I've got... I want to read a part of this for you that talks about Hugh. It says, Heff's suddenly filthier sides are one of his least cozy attributes. One minute he's all rock pools and mermaids, the next that's old Mr. Sticky Fingers. Posing quietly for photographs with me, he asked whether it's polite that he should be sitting when I'm standing.

Not out of courtesy as it turns out, but because otherwise, he bellows to the entire crew. I'll be staring at her tits. Creepy old man. And this is only five years ago, six years ago. Then he laughs like a donkey. And when I edge onto the topic of sex, he instantly suggests, you're looking for an invitation, aren't you? Before telling me my notes, we'll get soggy in the jacuzzi.

He just sounds like someone who's trying to play. this character and it's really yuck. Like, you want me to be that sex craze guy from the 70s? Okay, I'll still try that in my late 80s. No, heff, yuck. No, stop it. In fact, he leaps on any innuendo with demonic hunger,

like a kind of sexual metal detector. Always on the prow for a pulse. He loves telling me the greatest number of people he slept with at the same time is 12, so much for the special emotional connection he keeps going on about. And makes it clear if he weren't settling down with Crystal, he'd happily have a crack at her best friend, Anna.

before he was married. So why is he settling down with Crystal? Out of pity, hilariously. And this is a quote, because she, you know, deserves it, he chortles. She deserves to be my widow. What an honour. What an absolute privilege.

I don't know what to make of that. Hugh Houghton died in his home in Holmby Hills, Los Angeles on September 27, 2017. Ah, 17, 27, that's hard to say. at the age of 91. Before his death, he'd planned for a cremation and for his ashes to be interred at Westwood Memorial Park in Los Angeles in the crypt besides Marilyn Monroe.

Heffner told the Los Angeles Times in 2009, spending eternity next to Maryland is an opportunity too sweet to pass up. Oh, I hope you're enjoying it, Heff. Hope you're enjoying it. You creepy old fuck. Yay! Yeah, he certainly... He was in the...

positives until that last three paragraphs and... That's what got you. He just seems like a caricature. I'm sorry to have done that twice. And a gross one. But I mean, it's still love him or hate him in an incredible life.

Yeah. It does, like it always... I think people who just live in a weird fantasy land for a long time just lose track of reality seemingly and just become real weirdos. Yep. Yeah, it's pretty...

Not to give him excuses, but... I think, yeah, he just would not have known what real life was. Yeah. Especially after all those drug parties. Oh, so gross. Amazingly lived to be in his mid-90s. 91. Oh, was it 91?

91. And he was just always in his little silk PJs. I think he's the same age as my grandma, and that's what always made me freak out, you know? And the queen then? The same... Yep, same age as to see. And my grandpa.

Which is like so weird. And David Attenborough. And you're like, wow. So many good people. The queen, our grandparents. And David Attenborough. And Hugh Hefner. Anyway, so yeah, that's the end of my report about Hugh Hefner.

And that's bombed me out a little bit because he's kind of gross. I think we should now spend some time thanking some people who definitely not gross, who are awesome, lovely people. So all the people that support the show. Thank you very much for your report, by the way, Jess. I thought that was very good. Thank you. Hey.

Thank you. I think anything that. is heavily leaning on the e-news as a source is going to be good quality. And anything that makes the reporter go, like frequently. Yeah. That's a good report. Which both the report did that.

So did Dave. And so did I. And yourself. It was... I could gross myself out. Ah, we all learn. And we look forward to hearing the top five reasons by Justin Timberlake's marriage may not be what it seems. Who wants to kick it off with our Patreon?

That's right. We'd like to thank the people that support us over at patreon.com slash do go on pod. Basically, if you love the show, you listen every week and you want to chip in to keep us going, you can head over to our Patreon page. And for a little bit per month, you get some rewards in exchange, including a bonus episode that we do every month, if you support a certain tier. And we also like to thank a couple of people each by name at the end of the episode. And Matt, it's got a couple of names on the tip of his time.

And I was thinking, Dave, you're very good at giving little titles to people or whatever. And I'll think maybe this week you could give everyone a porn name. Oh, I was thinking even like a miss and the month. Oh, yeah, great. The porn name's better. Is it? Yeah. I'm not sure.

All right, we'll give it a go. Well, I've just got two of the radis names you'll come across. I'd love to thank from California, which is also where the second palace was. Playboy Mansion. Mansion, sorry. Victor Quinteros. There's got to be Dictor. Oh, great, perfect.

Dictor. Sorry, Victor. Five Dix. Because it's Quinn Quin. Vicky five dicks? What about Dickie five dicky five dick.

Yeah, come on, Matt. Sorry. Dickey five dicks, which is actually a sixth dick. What about five-finger dick count?

It's like the five-finger dick count. Nope. Stop. It's like five-finger discount. Oh,

I didn't even get where you were going. Just and I were just, Are you making up a phrase? Jess, well, Jess isn't very smart, and she, like, she takes that out on me sometimes with real, real negative blocks. Real negative blocks. Who's up next in our porn? Nick Figaro.

Dick Figaro. Dick Fingero. Good laugh on that one from Jess. Fingero, fingero, fingero. That's fun. Matt, have a go. I'm going to whisk. from him to Dave and then we'll get a laugh at a Jess for a very similar joke.

And he's from New Jersey. New Jersey. So thank you so much Nick and Victor. Dickie and Dickie. Dave, do you want to thank some peeps? I would like to thank from Essex. Emphasis on sex there. Yeah, got it.

We've got Jordan Elmer. Jordan Elmer. Jordan Elmer. What are you going to do with this one? How about you, Matt? You want to crack? There's no one. I would not put myself through the indignity of trying to riff with Jess in the room.

I'm ready to shoot you down though, Jess, so I'm looking forward to seeing what you have to say. What did I do? No. What did I do? Stop. Okay, no, I did do that. You do that every week. And it always makes me feel like shit.

Can we talk about this off the podcast, please? No. I'm just going to stick with Essex. It's very good. Very good. And from Liverpool. Like a grotto. That's a favourite accent.

Ben Whittingham. Okay. Shittingham. Ben Shittingham. Ten shittingham. Ten dick shittingham. Hey, there's different genres of porn. That's a niche.

That's true. Different genres of porn. Very niche. Very niche. But, hey, where there's a will, it's away. sorry. Okay, thank you to Ben. Thank you, Ben.

Thank you, Ben, Jordan. Two English people supporting the show. It's amazing. Good support from England. I had a couple of Americans. Look at that. I've got two Australians. Ah, very good.

So the Olympics of podcast, thanks. Well, from West Wodonga. Well, there you go right there. I was like, why is you laughing? But as Matt said, I'm not very bright. I was being mean unnecessarily there, Jess. Of course, you're very bright. Can we be friends?

I was just lashing out. I know. I'm sorry I said no. I didn't get it and that made me feel vulnerable. And then I took that out on you. And that's not fair. I'm sorry about that. I'd really like to be your friend.

Can I have a chip that you just got? You just got some chips that I want a chip. I'd like to hear about the Dong, please. From West Widong, Lucas Goonan. Poonan. Yeah, definitely didn't get that all through high school, did he? No. Poonen.

Right in, Lucas. I bet you never got. Punan. I bet you never got... Luke, ass, Poonan. Now we're just bullying. We're not even... We're not even having fun with our listeners. We're just picking on them.

Thanks so much for supporting us, you dickheads. Yeah, no, that's a good point. Let's taking a nasty turn. Change it up, Jess. Give him a Mr. Something month. He's Mr. September, baby. That's where you want to be. That's when it's just starting to turn to springtime.

So you still got a little jacket on, but it's... But you're warm. Thanks, Poonan. Thank you, Lucas. And from Melville, Western Australia, I would love to thank Courtney Butters Kerr. Butt. Oh yeah, okay, great. Butts in there.

Courtney Butt. Hersker. I will point out that most porn stars don't use a pun or a parody of their own name. True. My parents will never find out my secret career if I just change my name to David Pornike. Or Jess Gurkins. That's good. Or Matt blew it.

I sure did. stuff. It's all good stuff. But thank you, Courtney. Courtney and Lucas, thank you so much. Thank you to everybody who listens and supports the show. It means a lot to us. Thank you.

And before we go, the last thing to say is, if you like the show, maybe you listen every week, but you right now can't afford to chip in with the show. That's cool. We already love you for listening to the show, but there's two ways you can support the show. One is to tell a friend or several friends that may or may not already listen to other podcasts. Give us a recommendation because that always gets new listeners in.

We always have people say, hey, my friend recommended you and Now I've listened to 50 episodes in two days, which is always terrifying. The other way you can help us out is if you, even if you're not an iTunes user all the time, if you rate us on iTunes, it's the way that most people discover podcasts. And the more ratings we get in a week, the higher we go up on the charts, especially if it's a good high rating, five stars, that kind of thing. And then even more people can discover the show. So you always hear podcasts banging on about iTunes reviews.

It actually does help. And it only takes about a minute. So if you want to help us out, it'd be awesome. Yeah, do that. So good. I love reading those. I haven't done that in a while. I should go on and have a read. It is nice, especially the nice ones, I will say. Interesting. Interesting you make that point.

You don't like the bad ones. I like them all, but especially the nice ones. Especially the nice ones. It's a one where people sneak in like a pun or some sort of reference to an episode in the title. That always makes me laugh because other people are reading it going, what the hell is that mean? But we get it. And you'll find out eventually if you keep listening.

Yeah, that's right. So thanks so much for listening, guys. get in contact via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, at DoGoOnPod for all those mediums. The email is DoGoOnPod at gmail.com and any of those platforms you can get in contact and suggest a topic. So just like the Playboy Mansion and Hugh Hefner was suggested,

we can maybe do your topic if you get in contact. But next week, is it the best reporter on the pod next week? Pornicky himself? It is pornicky. I wasn't going to arrogantly say, Do you mean me? Because I knew it was me It was doing a report

But I didn't want to... Well, no, we've very publicly said You're the best report. Many, many times. Thank you very much. Well, I've already put it to a Patreon vote and I know what I'm going to report on. Oh, I didn't know until yesterday.

It's... That's the difference, Dave. That's the fornicy difference. He's not even going to wait until someone dies. He's just going to choose someone. What have I told you that there is already a few deaths in next week's episode? But you'll have to tune in it next week to find out.

But until then, I'll say thanks for listening and goodbye. Later. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there.

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