Do Go On - 110 - The Burke & Hare Murders

Episode Date: November 29, 2017

It's Dave's turn to try his hand at a serial killer report. Burke and Hare are Scotland's most famous duo of murderers. They killed people staying at their boarding house and sold their bodies to local medical schools who were desperate for cadavers to dissect. WIll justice catch up with the duo? Or will they escape the hangman's noose? Tickets for Brisbane live show (December 2nd at Heya Bar): https://www.trybooking.com/SPMPWatch us all on Gamey Gamey Game: https://youtu.be/I9hS7jIJ6pg  Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Twitter: @DoGoOnPod Instagram: @DoGoOnPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/ Email us: [e-mail]   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and I'm here with Jessica Perkins and Matthew Stewart.

Hello, David Warnocky. Hello, David. Hello. A pleasure to be here, Associate. Hello, Associate. Business partner. Ask Pruds, that's all. Have we talked about it on that.

Have we talked about in the pod, how we, uh, we, uh, we've talked about it on the pod, how we, uh, we've got business cards that have been made up now or like a bank card that say do go on on them oh man look we'd share a photo but it would be a terribly advised thing to do online yeah but that would not be smart but they do exist I mean they'd be able to steal all our money

yeah that's right we created a bank account to put millions and now we're just living off the interest we don't even have to do the show anymore now and we're just doing it because we're nice people Yeah, just like when we started, it's come full circle again. Yeah. Just because we love it.

We just enjoy each other's company. We love each other and we love you, dear listener. Oh, that's pretty great. It's true. We do. We love you all. I can't hate it. You know who I love especially though?

I don't want to play favourites, but I'm going to. The people that have already bought tickets to our Brisbane show this Saturday. Woo! It's been coming for a little while. I'm going to get my biannual haircut done up there, I reckon. Do you reckon? Yeah, I reckon. Okay.

That's where I last got my hair cut was in Brisbane. Sure. Why do you trust the Brisbane barber more than Melbourne or any other place? It was, I don't know, something about this place was good. They did, they made me hurt a little bit. They used the cutthroat on my neck. Oh, wow. On my throat, I guess.

And it was red raw. Really? I hated it. Yeah. But, you know, it's, that kind of felt like I deserved it. Okay. What's a weird, fetish thing? You got a barber for punishment.

Yeah. me. I don't know. I was chasing a riff there. Turned out there was nothing in it. Oh, Matt, he's always chasing a riff. And this was one of the very few times you came with me. True, sorry.

Sorry about that. That's something I'm working on. That can be my New Year's resolution. Calling it early. Follow Matt on more riffs. Yeah, look where I got you. Look where I got you. It's an obscure one, but it's fine.

I was getting a haircut last month and the guy goes, what do you want? I explained it to me to him and he goes, what like this? And he pointed it to his own head. I was like, yeah, I guess, I guess. So that's now known as the Jordan at work. Go get the Jordan.

Thanks, Jordan. Did a great job. That's so good. Anyway, come to Brisbane. Come to Brisbane. If you're in Brisbane. You can see Matt's haircut. Will that be before the pot on the Saturday?

Yeah, I reckon. Nice. Keep it fresh. I reckon I'll do that for sure. sure. Yeah, great. Guys, go easy on Matt. Tell him it's good even if you don't think it's good.

Yeah, that's a bit risky, isn't it? It's very risky. But luckily, I always wear a hat. Good point. Now, before we get into the show, I feel it would be remiss for us to not mention if you want to see... That's right, see more of us this week.

You can watch all of us as guests on Gamey, gamey, yeah, what do we look like? Find out. We'll never know, except if you look at the logo. Which one has the beard? Me! Who said that? Oh, you don't know!

Because you can't see us. But if you watch Gaby Gaby Game, you'll see us interact in person. We talk about Jess's favourite game of all time. Holy shit. Sims 4. The Sims in general, but yes. And we're very positive about it. I definitely don't think it's stupid.

Don't bring this out again. Anyway, so Gamy, Gamy Game if you're not familiar, is a great show hosted by Evan Munro-Smith. one of our favorite friends on the stupid old channel, which is a YouTube channel. So you look up stupid old channel on YouTube, you'll find the show. There's a bunch of old episodes up there as well

with people like Mr Sunday movies and Adam Knox. And we've all been on it before. We've all been on separately. So there's a lot of cool stuff there. And check it out. Check, check it out. Check, check it out. Also, game, game, a game on Facebook.

You can see it there too. Oh, I did a vocal fry. Oh, we on NPR all of a sudden. All right. I feel very smart. All right, shall we crack into this week's episode? Let's fucking do it. Let's do it.

And now we always start with a question, and I've done a report this week. Did you write a question? I wrote a question. You guys are crazy. Can you believe it? We love to question. This one was voted for by our Patreon supporters.

This was a runners-up edition. Oh, I like this. So I've done seven Patreon votes. This was the 8. Are any of them Australian Idol runners up? No, none of them are Shannon Noel or any other runners up. And I don't care for this report at all. Yeah, disappointing.

I really would have liked to have heard one about Polo Nurtini. That's not quite... What am I thinking of there? Paulini? Paulini. Who's in the bodyguard now? Yes. The one that got in trouble for trying to bribe someone at the Vicroads,

the people that give out licences. Really? Yeah, she got in. big trouble for bribery. That's great. Very strange. No, but what I did was that, so I've had seven weeks, and every topic became second I gave a second shot to.

Oh, that's fun. And they all got at least some votes, but there were a couple of front runners and one definite frontrunner, because it won. It was the frontrunner. Okay. And to get us on topic, my question is, who is Scotland's most famous duo of killers?

Killers. Hale and Pace The sketch duo They killed They killed with comedy When I was a child I remember them being funny One of them had a mustache

Which is always good fun I'm afraid Matt is Not correct there Jess Has it a guess I don't even have a joke answer I can't think of anything Scottish right now The Loch Ness Monster Gang Yeah

Which was a misleading name Because there's only two of them They're actually a duo Yeah but a gang is really more of a state of mind, don't you agree? Yeah, yeah. That's what the monsters always said. Sometimes I call us a gang.

Yeah. Gang of three. Yeah. How about have I changed the question to, who is the second most famous Burke and Someone? Burke and... I don't think I've heard of these people.

No, me either. Well, have you heard of the killers? Burke and Hare. Hair, is what I was going to say. The Burke and Hair murders. No, I haven't not. Oh, very cool. This was suggested by Alexis White on Facebook

who listens on the way to uni in England, so hopefully this will come up now. Now, Dave, if I am to read a little something in to what you just said, using my own detective skills. There we go. Just is cracked to the Birkenhair murders. Burkenhair murders. Oh, I think I see where you're going with this. This is clearly a mystery episode.

Am I right? They never solved the murders. Who did it? Dave. Is this a classic who done it? This is just trying to solve a crime by saying it's not solved, even though it was solved already. Did she get it?

Is that a yes? It is not a mystery. But it is a murder episode. That's also up there in the listener's favorite type of show. That's right. Well, I've got to say, when I put out to the Patreon vote, a couple of people commented saying, well, the one with the murder and the title was going to win.

And I was like, that's not necessarily... Yes, it did. Yes, it did. Just a couple of votes. It was very, very close. Cool. Also got a shout out to Callum B.M. via email.

You also suggested this topic. So thank you to Alexis and Callum. So you guys haven't heard of Birkenhair. This is cool. No, I haven't. Had you? Yes, because when you go to, you guys have both been to Edinburgh, I know this.

Yes. If you do one of those sort of ghost tours, which are... Is that the one where you go to the pub and watch the Rangers versus Celtics? Celtics. Celtics. Celtics. Fuck. I don't want Scottish people going.

angry. Yes, I did have a mild stroke there, Dave. What are you trying to go with the American mispronunciation or because you're watching in Scotland, you think it becomes Celtics? Yeah, but I don't think it does. It's still Celtics. It's strange though. They definitely have mispronounced that, haven't I?

It's Celtic. Anyway, so you can go on these murder and mystery sort of like ghost tours when they talk about Birkenhair because they are in Scotland famous for their murders. Good for them. Dave, I also said two Glasgowesian teams. I really should have said hearts versus another Edinburgh team. I'm sorry, Scottish listeners. You piece of shit.

There's three or four people who are furious right now. Oh, I assume you were just talking about NBA. Yeah, why do you know all this? Haven't you guys been to Scotland? Yeah. It's the culture. You didn't take any culture in? No, I went to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

I went to the Birkenhaer Murder Mystery Super extravaganza. May, you were so uncultured. Matt went to a pub I want to travel with you It would be fun Yeah I think the US tour is going to be very fun Yes this Matt's watching Scottish sports

In TV On TV Yeah I'm doing it in the TV Alright so a bit of background here When I came to anatomy and studying the human body In the 19th century Edinburgh in Scotland was one of the leading cities in the world Go Edinburgh

Helping to develop the subject into a modern science Ah. Some very famous anatomy teachers populated the town or city, including John Bell, Robert Knox, Alexander Munro, who is the founder of the Edinburgh Medical School, who also had a son called Alexander Monroe, who then also had a son called Alexander Monroe. It's confusing.

All famous in their own rights, to distinguish between the three they are referred to as Alexander Monroe Primus, Alexander Monroe Secondus, and Alexander Monroe Tertius. I hate that. Tertius. The first.

Turteous. I know it's weird. Not Junior or Junior Junior Jr. That's how they do it in the... Junior or Junior Junior Junior. No, Turteous, not Junior Junior. Tortious. Sounds Irish.

But what is it, Latin? Yeah. Jess, I would have thought you'd love that. No, I don't. You thought wrong. I hate that. That's dumb. Well, anyway, it's got nothing to do with the story.

I just liked it. I love it. It's so pompous. I love it. I enjoyed it. I didn't know Jess would get so angry about it. No, that's shit. I'm just trying to paint the picture

that Edinburgh's a big scientific town at the time. Yeah, that I'm okay with. Secondus and turtiest. Fuck off. It's probably just turtious. I mean, I did put some sort of a weird artisan on it. Turtious. Tortious.

All grand. Thanks a million. He laughed as the Stephen dog. I didn't enjoy it. He laughed as the Stephen. I hate that fucking dog. You like it more than a previous, uh, a previous, uh, running joke that I am.

Having a small tush. Yeah, sure. I hated that. That really offended me. Kept me awake at night. I was thinking, well, it's pretty normal actually. The normal size tush. I was feeling it at night.

Were you? Yeah. Don't you just do that anyway? Yeah, I need it. I can't go to sleep without it. I have a little tush feel. I used to hug a pillow, but now I hug my own ass. I mean, who needs a pillow when you've got your own ass?

Now I'm just sitting on my hands. It's weirdly comforting. It's already very hot in here. Yes, that's not going to help. You're right. Yes, it is. Another week where we complain about the heat. Thank you.

So in order to study the human body, you need human bodies. And at the time, they didn't have plastic examples of organs or anything like that to teach with. So they had to have a steady supply of cadavers. And as the science developed, the more bodies they needed to teach with. Sure. At the time, Scottish law determined that the only place you could legally get these bodies was from people who died in prison, people who committed suicide. And the bodies of orphans or abandoned children.

Oh my God. Okay, so I only feel good deaths. Wait, so had the kids died anyway or were they killing orphans? That sounds... Yeah, a little dubious. Either way, it feels like they're going, no, no, another natural causes. You've been in the orphanage for six months now. That's the cut off.

Sorry, you know the rules. If that stage, you're welcome. Yeah, nobody wants you. So you may as well do something good for science. Come over here. We're going to do this as... painfully as possible, that's what I'm going to say. Well, Matt the butcher.

Look, just stay still. We can't, we don't want to damage your cadaver too much. Which I never like how you pronounce that. How do you say? Cadava, but I like cadaver. I think I would say cadaver. Cadarva. What would you say?

I'm panicking. Cada. Oh, Cadava. Cadava. Yeah, I'm definitely sending. I would have thought you would say cadaver. Cadaver. Cadaver to you?

We'll start the show with that line from now on. Kadaiva, and welcome to do you go on. So relatives could also choose to donate deceased family members to science, but at the time this was nearly unheard of. I think it's really wonderful, and honestly, so incredible when people donate their bodies to science, but I could not do that.

Then again, there was a point in my life where I thought donating your organs was totally awful. Not awful, but I was like, oh, yeah, I need that. What is your objection? To date my body to science. Yeah. People seeing me naked. Oh, right.

Well, what have you put in a request that they can strip your skin off, but they just have to do it. They have to do it under a sheath. Oh, no. Oh, no. That's what she means. She doesn't want them to see her naked without skin. Oh, right.

No, just not naked at all. They'll be like, oh. You're seeing my nude liver. Oh, yuck. I would donate my body, but. You've got to kill a bod. I don't. Got a great bud.

Science would be lucky to study that. So much to learn So many questions So many questions What the fuck is that? How many nips has he got on him? Is he a man or a dog? How many nips do I have, Jess? Tell me.

I don't know. I don't want to know. Well, Jess is freaked out by it And at the time, it seemed like a horrible thing To have your body dissected after death And it was even used as a punishment To be an added deterrent for would-be murderers. The UK's murder act of 1751 stated

quote for better preventing the horrid crime of murder in no case whatsoever shall the body of any murderer be suffered to be buried by mandating either public dissection or hanging in chains of the cadaver I'm in chains

baby baby so what would you rather be cut up or in chains which means they legit hang your body out to the open until it rots so people look at and go I'm not going to kill anyone because I don't want to be that go. Wow, what time was this? 1751.

1751. It's a different time. It's a very different time. I think of those two options, I mean, people still see me naked, aren't they? I guess cut up. Yeah, I reckon cut up. But you are definitely dead. But do they treat... Yeah, you're dead. So it probably doesn't matter that much. No, it doesn't matter.

Still always pick shoot me in a space. Turn me into a tree and shoot me in a space. Wow, tree space. Yeah. How are you going to shoot a tree into space? We have the technology now, Jess. Do we? We have the power.

I don't think we have that one. But okay. Bloody Tesla's got to get onto it. Haven't you seen Groot? Yeah, good call. Oh, so a tiny little tree. Yeah, sappling. Oh, cute.

After the criminal was hanged, medical students would be there as the body was taken down from the gallows and would argue over who would get the rights to dissect the body. Oh, sick, sick. But the big problem in Edinburgh at this time was there just weren't enough murderers or dead orphans to go around. Oh, no, no, no. Was that the Great Depression?

That's what it was about, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. Everyone was body poor, cadaver poor. That's right, that'll be four cadavers. Oh, I've only got one. People, you remember that famous photo of someone having to take a wheelbarrow of cadavas down to buy a loaf of bread? Yeah, I remember that.

Dharpas. In order to satisfy the desire for corpses, an illicit trade began to boom in Edinburgh. People would dig up bodies from cemeteries and sell them to students or lecturers of the university. The guys who dug up the bodies were called Resurrectionists or Resurrection Men. Resurrectionist is better. You like that? Yep. These resurrectionists were paid quite a lot of money for each body that they were able to supply.

Body snatching was a lucrative business so much so that it was. would pay as much as several months work for one body. Easy. Do two in a night. Yeah, and then you've got six months off. Two nights on, six months off. I'm okay with that. Yeah, that's the kind of firefight I'd be right into.

It'd be more dido, wouldn't it? Dig. Dig in? Dig on. No. Dig off. Dig in, dig out. Dig out.

Dido. That's what she gets their name from. That's what her job was before. She was a singing star. What do you got? singing star singer I want to thank you

for giving me the best day that was actually written to one of her favorite cadavers she was singing to a cadaver yeah do you want to thank him yeah for giving her the best day

of his life which was digging the body up yeah she's a weirder daughter and by the way what the fuck happened to her yeah she's full of her face I imagine she's probably still big

in England I got that feeling well her life was for rent Remember that album? Anyone. I sure do. Something about white flags. She'll be living off the stand money for years to come.

Oh, yeah. I think that one was massive. So they're making lots of money by digging up these people. Some people's accompanied professional body snatches as observers and reported to have obtained and paid for their studies with human corpses. So they want to be a doctor so bad that they're like, can I come in if I bring my own body? B-Y-O-B.

B-Y-O-B. The extra V's for B-Y-L-B-B-B. The grave robbers were able to act with a sort of legal loophole. It was illegal to disturb the grave, but since corpses were not viewed as property and could neither be owned nor stolen, body snatching remained quasi-legal. The crime being committed against the grave rather than the body.

So once you get the body out, you can just take it. And no one can be like, I own that. Hang on. No, no, no, who owns the dead body? Do you think grave robbers is a cool band name? Yeah. Matt Stewart and the Grave robbers? That's got to be a band already, right?

Surely it's so good. I mean, Matt Stewart and the Grave Robbers specifically. Yeah, that's got to be. I'm already in that band, surely. What do you play? I obviously play the bloody coffin. You're hitting a coffin? I always have my coffin on me.

Always ready for a jam session. Oh, dear. Well, speaking of coffins. It's very hot. Body snatchers rarely dug up the entire coffin. Instead, they dug a vertical tunnel down to the head of the coffin, broke open the lid and then hoisted the body to the surface with a rope or a long metal hook. That's disgusting.

But also kind of genius, right? Yeah. So you just dig like a little bit. Get down to the bottom. And they must go for pretty fresh bodies too. Yeah, it's got to be fresh. Yeah. It's fresh or nothing.

Stop. Now the clothes were tossed back into the coffin, so they do see you naked, Jess. I'm sorry. The tunnel filled in. The ground smooth. No, Dave. I'm sorry. To those poor people.

Those poor resurrectionists. You have to see me naked. And then they smooth the ground back over to make it look like it's undisturbed. That also be so, like, because they're so freshly dead people, still be mourning them. They would also, you know, potentially be recognisable to the local community. Yeah. What a time to be alive or dead in this case. As Matt already said, the key was to act quickly because he needed to remove the body before it was too badly decompose.

or the doctors and stuff wouldn't even want it. They wouldn't even want it. Low-level doctors, probably. I'll take it. We'll take your rotting. I'll take a bag of pus. I still have to learn from a bag of pus, Jess. You turn your nose up at a bag of pus, but lessons to be learned.

I didn't think that I would not like this, but I don't. Jess, we're going back to the burial cremation episode. No, I know, and that is still my favourite, but this. Just don't let it get too deep in your head. I'm only doing very shallow thinking. Bag of pus. Don't picture it. No, it's in there.

Now you're making me do it. Yes. Whatever you do, do not imagine the drink you're about to take from that bottle as a bag of pus. You son of a bitch. It's hot in here and I'm thirsty. I'm fine. It's just water. Sweet, sweet pus.

Bit slimy. We've definitely lost listeners already at this point. The people are still with us. They want me to go further and I will. corpses and parts thereof. Because if you could just get a good leg, you could still sell it for a couple of bucks. They were packed into suitable containers,

salted and preserved, stored in cellars, and then transported in carts, wagons and boats. Obviously, some people were annoyed that their relatives were being dug up and sold. So they tried to stop the robbers. That would be right.

They hired guards to watch over graves. Here we go. Nanny state. In some... Well, speaking of Nanny states, In some Edinburgh cemeteries, you can still see guard towers where people would go up there at night and watch over the entire cemetery to get a good view. Did you get any cemeteries while you're in Edinburgh, Matt? Not in Edinburgh. I did go up to Perthshire. I must have went to some cemeteries there where my ancestors are buried.

Was there a pub up there? Obviously there was a pub overlooking the cemetery. Well, they're buried at the pub. They're buried at the pub. Well, if they die at the pub, it's just easy to put a money in. I was in my family as well. Yeah, there's a lot of criminal. Really?

Dead criminal. Well, at least in the town that my ancestors came from with my surname. But I think Stuart's a relatively common surname. Thinking that some of them probably weren't even in the cemetery because they'd been dissected at this every university. Yeah, yeah, it was just gizzards. Here lays the gizzard remains of John Stewart, that sort of stuff. Beautiful.

So it's nice to just connect with where you came from. It is, isn't it? It was a lovely little cemetery. I'll post a photo of it. It's real pretty. Also, it looks kind of like a... Cemetery? Yeah.

They're all creepy. Yeah. The other tactic to protect the dead was to erect metal cages around them called Mort safes. Well, they used burial vaults, put metal or wooden planks over the coffin, used iron coffins, filled the graves with heavy stones. Or they put a giant slab of concrete over the grave that was hopefully too heavy to lift. until it was assumed that the body had decomposed enough that no one wanted it anymore then you'd move that onto the next fresh grave

so they'd go that around the cemetery. They also tried to deter... Ficked and smart. We also tried to deter body status from entering graveyards by building high walls, fixing broken glass on top of those walls, or setting trip lines attached to guns. Wow, wow.

So it was a real problem, real problem. That's amazing. I hope Nana's not going to pay respects at night. Oh! Quick, grab her while she's fresh Sorry Were those Scottish yells for help? No, they were

Oh look, I'm the man of a thousand noises Oh, we've got a new name for Matt Man of a thousand noises Can I hear Can I hear noise number 10? Noise number 10 Well, I'm going to have to look at the glossary What was that one?

That one was a cordon of a vacuum malfunctioning. What about noise 556? I'm going to go. Well, between 10 and 556, there's not a lot of different. Oh, you'll listen back, you'll notice. But they tell such a story. They do tell such a story. And what, you saved the best till last.

What is noise number 1,000? Well, you didn't have to let me explain. That one was a goldfish being skimmed across a pond. Well, someone threw it like a skipping stone. Yeah, someone threw it. Yeah. But to release it, I assume. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, the fish loved it. You should have seen a look on its face. Didn't you hear that little smile? Oh, I heard it. Yeah. I did. I actually did. That was the last one there, which I think was...

You can see how I developed over time. Would you call that one? Reminder for Bin Night, number one? That's what I call it. Hey Dave, is it Bin Night? It is. It's bin night. Better put the bins out.

Yeah. Good point, Jess. Look, don't get me started about my complex and how people have been putting shit in our bin to the point that I now lock it away in the garage. Oh, why they put seven your bins? on bin night or pre-bidnight? Pre-bid-night.

No, that's not on. Day one, off-ham, goes into the bin. Oh, that's not on. So it's got to be there for a week. No, no good. Especially not at the bottom of an empty bin. Yeah. Because that may remain.

Yep. They really need to shake that out. But I have no problem with people filling my bin. Once it's on the street, it's in God's hands. But when it's in my... Well, now it's locked away in the garage. And if you're listening to this to the people of my complex, fuck you.

You have... ham gobbling prick Well, not gobbling enough Yeah, keep gobbling prick That sounds like a real complex Prick Yeah, I've got a real complex

With these fuckers With these pricks Bloody ham gobbling pricks Hamgobling prick And man of a thousand voices No noises Noises It's so good

So anyway, back to Look, I want to steer it back To corpses, Jess Oh yeah, sorry of course Please. People are stealing corpses. People try to stop the people stealing corpses. And it actually proves to be quite successful.

And many grave robbing attempts are thwarted. So this made the bodies more valuable and pushed up the price even more because now they're rarer. So it sort of backfires a bit. Then we come to our good friends, or soon to be good friends, Burke and Hare. I don't know if we'd say good friends. I'd entirely forget these girls existed.

Would we say, I don't know if I want to be good friends with them? Well, I'll tell you about them. I'm sure you'll come around. I'm sure you will. I can't let you said corpses would be rarer and I couldn't. My brain just kept thinking steaks. You weren't, but you had that thought as well. I mean people are listening going, why aren't they talking about how the, anyway.

No, they're going, thank goodness they didn't talk about the body's being rare. How do you like your corpse, Dave? My favorite social media post is, hey guys, I think you missed a joke here. I love it. It's like out of every second. There's plenty of misses. Oh, yeah. We miss more than we swing.

You pronounced a word wrong. It's like, yeah, we know. We're not smart people. Look, I say cadaver. I'm clearly an idiot. I'm curious as to hear what the people are thinking about. Cadarva versus cadaver. Versus cadaver.

Cada. Maybe I'd say cadaver. I don't know. Cada sounds better. No, it doesn't. It sounds stupid. Burke and Hare Thank you, yeah.

William Burke was born in 1792 in Ernie, County Tyrone in Northern Ireland. Can I guess Hare's first name? Okay, William Burke and what hair? Robert. Matt, have a go. Because that would be a switch of Robert Burke and Will Wills.

I still love that Wills. Have a go, what do you reckon Hairs name is? Is he also Irish? Yes, both Irish. Both from the northern... I'll go with a classic Irish name, Chavorn. I'll also go for a classic Irish name, IFA. I would also take Sia Bhan and whatever, however you spell Eiff.

A-O-V. I will tell you, it's William Burke, and Jess is going to love this. William Hare. No. It's Willie and Willie. See, we wouldn't have guessed that. You'd never guess that. Two willies.

Surely you'd be calling them the two willies. How did that not be their murder name? Oh, maybe you have heard. Maybe you have heard of them. Yeah, the two willies. I've heard of the two willies, and their murders. Free willies. Free willy.

Two willies. Okay, so William Burke, 1792. First Willie, Burke, had a comfortable upbringing and joined to the army with his brother, Constantine. Constantine. That's right. That's not a very Irish name, is it? No. Burke has been described as short, handsome and likable.

So in many ways, he reminds me of myself. you're not that short but I am fucking handsome I see why that's funny thank you sometimes things are so true they become funny

it's one of the rules of comedy you know that one rule of three rule of something being so true it's funny he married a woman This is still Willie Burke. It's controversial.

In Western Ireland, where they settled, however, the marriage did not last long at all. In 1818, at the age of 26, he had a fight with his in-law, or his father-in-law, over land ownership, and William Burke deserted his wife and family, which now included two children. Have we skipped ahead of it? Because before we were in the 1700s. Yes, so the murder act was 1750. Right. So then the decades before he was born, the problem is getting worse and worse, as Edinburgh.

becomes more and more of a go-to destination for would-be doctors. Gotcha. So he's born in 1792, and in 1818, he moves to Scotland, where he works as a labourer, and he worked on the Union Canal that connected Edinburgh with Felkirk, which took many, many years to dig out. He settled in a village near Felkirk and set up home with Helen McDougal. Oh, yes.

It's a great name, whom he affectionately nicknamed Nelly. I, Helen and Senelli. Is that what Nelly is? Yeah. Cool. Or Eleanor. Cool. When the canal...

Or... Nelly. Gregory. Gregory. Gregory Peck. When the canal was finally finished in 1827, the couple moved... So, living is man and wife, but because he's already married, it's not actually ascertained if they ever actually married, but she's practically his wife.

And they moved in 1827 to Tanner's Close in Edinburgh, and they sold second-an-a-old. and they sold second-hand clothes whilst Burke worked as a cobbler So that's Burke He's cobbler I love cobbling I love a cobble Yeah

Every day I'd be cobbling If I could cobble more God I'd be happy I mean is it possible to cobble more Than all the time You're right You're cobbling right now I know but I just want to couple all the time

You've got to sleep sometimes That's true Can't cobble on the John If I had four hands I'd cobble twice as much. A double cobble. Yeah.

If I had six hands... How much would you cobble? Still cobble twice as much, but I'd also read a book. So you'd take up a second hobby. Yeah. About cobbling. Interesting that you read with two hands. What do you turn the page with?

Yeah, Dave. Sorry, Mr. Magic over here. I was to draw my question. So that's Burke. Hair. William Hare. also born in Northern Ireland His exact birthday is a mystery

But most sources say he was younger than Burke His early life is also much of a mystery But it's known that he worked in Ireland As an agricultural labourer before travelling to Britain So I wasn't wrong It's a bit of a mystery episode Yeah, that's the mystery It's our most fascinating one yet

Tweet in your theories What did he do? When was he born? Have a crack He also worked on the Union Canal for seven years before moving to Edinburgh in the mid-1820s where he worked as a

coal man's assistant. I'm a coal man. I'm a colmend. What song is that? Soul man. Because I, you know when you finally get a Simpsons reference? Bart singing, I'm a

troll man. And then March says, I don't want to you playing with anything with such hideous hair. The troll has the exact hair she does. That's good stuff. That's comedy. That was the theme song for a sitcom with Dan Aykroyd called Soul Man.

I don't think it lasted very long. He was a reverend and a father. Yeah, I think I remember that. He was also a father. Yeah, it was a classic sort of sitcom. A father and a father. Yeah. Seventh Heaven already did it, Dan Aykroyd.

Yeah. Yeah. Come on, mate. That's why when he moved on a skull. old vodka. Yeah. And we thank him for that. Sorry, Dave, do go on.

Sorry, I just want to talk about the Coleman's assistant. Please. William Hare. That was a fruitful little detour. He lodged at Tanner's Close. This is William Hare. In the house of a man named Logue. Logue.

Logue. It's not a name. And his wife, Margaret Laird. No, also not the name. Margaret. I think both of them had speech impediments. What's your name? Logue.

All right. How do we spell that? All right, you also are illiterate, fair enough. Great. I'll just have a crack here, and I suppose you can't even correct me. If they say in the nearby Westport area of the town, that's where he's living with Logue and Margaret Laird. But when Logue died in 1826,

Hare may have married Margaret and took over the boarding house. Oh, that's nice. May have. May have married Margaret. It's a big mystery, this guy. Maggie and Willie. So the other guy was described as short, handsome and charismatic. Yep.

Likeable. Likeable, that's right. Well, that was the word. But hair has been described as... Mean. Yep. And he's a bear. Yes.

Sorry, did I not mention that? Tall, mean, bear. Wow. And he wears a little vest. Yeah. And in many ways, he reminds me of Matt. He still's a pick-a-knick-a-basket. Yeah.

He's been described. as illiterate and uncouth, a lean, quarrelsome, violent and immoral character with scars from old wounds about his head and brow. Hot. I don't know what he's been head budding,

but he did not come up well. Hot. Amoral or immoral? Cadarva. You really mispronounced it that time. Matt's the hair of this podcast, you know what I mean? Yeah, bloody hair.

Big bloody dummy over there. Oh, I thought you were complimenting my hair. Maybe when we used to make fun of having a big dick and he didn't like it. That was funny, wasn't it? Well, big dick over here. Yeah, sometimes the truth is funny. Yeah, that's right. It's so beautiful, it's funny.

So that's Bertful. So that's Burke and Hare's background. In 1827, Burke and his partner, Nellie McDougallie McDougall, went to work on the harvest where they met Hare, and the two Williams, Burkin Hare, became friends. And when Burke and McDougal returned to Edinburgh, they moved into Hare's, Tannock-closed Lodging House, where the two couples soon acquired a reputation

for hard drinking and boisterous behaviour. So they're all living in this lodger's house together where people are paying to stay in other rooms of the house. It's like a little Airbnb. It's like a hostile. It's, and it's going off by the sounds of it. Yeah, they're boisterous, they're drinking, they're willie, willie.

Can't I have a drink with Willie and Willie. Then things take a little dark turn. They what? When on November 29th, 1827, of the lodges, Donald. Donald. Did you say it took a duck, oh, duck turn.

It's Donald, Doctor. I understand. Say no more. Donald. All right, all right. I will literally stop. Say them all. Sorry, please you go on.

Tell this story, just to speak to itself. Donald suddenly died shortly before receiving a quarterly army pension. My brain went somewhere gross and dirty. Anyway, yes? I need to know. Yeah, that feels like a real... Quarterly army pension,

oh, that gets my murderer around. Oh, yeah. So, okay, so he was about to get some money. Interesting. He's about to get some money. Whilst owing four pounds back rent to hair. Four pounds? Four pound.

Pooned. Four pund. Pound. Pound. Pound. Pound. Pound. Pound.

Pound. Pound. Pound. Murder. Who's doing it better? Pooned. Pooned. Pound. Poned. Poned.

Wrong. Poned. Pond. Cadava. Say that in English voice. Cadaver. That sounds good. Maybe that's what I'm trying to channel. In the English. Harry Potter, Codarver. Harry Potter and the Magic Cadava. Oh, magic cadaver.

What am I like? Oh, what am I like? So he owes four pounds. Quite a lot of rent. Hair complained to Burke about not being able to get the money from a dead man and an ingenious plan was concocted. Oh dear. They could sell the body to one of the local medical schools. Yeah, I did not see this coming.

A... Is it a little chance, really? There was a little foreshadow No, I thought they were going to try and pretend to be him and go to the bank. That's what. Hello, I am Donald. My money, please? I would like my quarterly bank pension. That makes my friend Jess laugh for some reason. She never

said why. Thank you. Good day. Money, please. But for some reason they decided to do that thing where kids do where one step goes on the other person's shoulder and they wear a big jacket they forgot that they were fully grown men so Donald's like a nine foot man

hello I'd like my army bench it oh god he's a fucking monster is that the cadaver on top yeah it's a weekend at birds it's a three men high the 12 foot mess they put the cadaver on top which was dumb

12 foot zombie you put it in the middle you reckon it's a pretty weak middle. You're like a sponge cake. But if it's got a rigor mortis, it's kind of rigid. They're like a tortoise,

full of rigor mortis. You're doing some Aussie hip-hop? No, that was our NWA. Oh, fuck, sorry, NW. That's best to sell. That's got a real, that's got a real. You seem to do it was Aussie hip-hop.

It's got, that has the cheekiness of an Aussie hip-hop lyric. Oh, we are a bit bloody cheeky. Yeah. That's, uh, some good stuff. That's, uh, Dr. Dre, respect.

Oh, God. So they've got the body, they want to sell it. The plan is, and this is what they do, a carpenter provided a coffin for burial, which was to be paid for by the local parish, sort of took pity on Donald. After he left, the pair opened the coffin, removed the body, which they hid under the bed.

They filled the coffin with bark from a local tanners and re-sealed her. How much bark do we put in? That'd be a fair bit of bark if you want to make it. Like a man's woman. Mansworth. Hey, but what's a man worth? Yeah. Hey, ladies.

Yeah. Not much. Not much. I'm right. Who needs them? No, not my experience. Can't live with them, can't kill them. Are we talking about ladies or bark? I don't know anymore. Can't live with it.

Can't get enough of it. I love bark. I'm obsessed. So after dark, on the day the coffin was... After bark. After bark. On the day the coffin was removed for burial, they took the corpse Edinburgh University where they looked for someone to buy it.

So you can just imagine them walking through a uni with a dead body yelling out. Anyone want to buy this? It's sort of like trying to sell drugs at a uni, you know? That's probably a lot easier. No, but yeah, with Canaver's, you do it in that old school watchway where you open up your big trench coat. And you get just a body hanging out from each son. What do you want? What do you want? What can I get you?

Orphan, grown man. What do you want? This is the real shit. It's fresh. It's fresh. It's just got it picked up this morning. It fell off the back of the truck. And they died when they fell off the back of the drive.

They reportedly asked for directions to Professor Alexander Munro's house or office. And for those playing at home, that's Alexander Secondus. But a student sent them to Robert Knox's premises in Surgeon Square. Bobby Knox. Bobby Knox had contracted smallpox as a child, was left blind in one eye and heavily scarred. But he had grown up to be a famous anatomist and he undertook dissections twice a day. And his advertising promised, quote, demonstration on fresh anatomical subjects,

as part of every course of lectures he delivered. He stated that his lessons drew over 400 pupils. Wow, that's a lot of eyeballs. Yeah, a lot of eyeballs. 800 in fact. No, actually, he's blinded one eye. 799. God, he's good.

It's funny to think about all these times. Like, oh, this is fuck, what a fuck time. But our medicine now would be nowhere near where it is if it wasn't through. Yeah, a bit like other people doing grisly shit for us. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. But so he's doing, he's chopping open two bodies a day, so he needs a lot of bodies. Yep.

So Knox paid the men for the body. They went to his office and he was like, you know, I'll take that. He paid them seven pounds and ten shillings. Heir received four pounds, five shillings, whilst Burke took the balance of three pounds five. His share was larger to cover his loss from Donald's unpaid rent. so but he's made a profit So they got 7 pounds

Pones 7 ponds When I was in That doesn't Even though I'm aware of inflation That does not feel like much For a body When I was in London

I think it's like It's hundreds Or Edinburgh 10 years ago or so The first time I went there I was buying pines Pretty regularly for about two pounds Everything for you is pound

So they just paid Three beers for this guy Not bad Not bad at all I mean he's just a guy that dropped dead Yeah It's like finding five pounds on the ground practically All you had to do was fill a coffin with buck

Yeah To carry a body through a uni and say Where's Alexander Monroe secondus I don't like this Secondus It's definitely secondest But Secundus sounds good doesn't that Come here around to it

One of Knox's assistants Told the pair that the anatomists Quote would be glad to see them again when they had another to dispose of. Why would you say that? Wink, wink, wink. So, Knox is not asking any questions. He's like, I need buddies.

You've got a body. I'll take the body. Let the bodies hit the floor and get the fuck out of here. Take these four or five pints of beer and get out of here. Get out of here. Just before you go, let me know. Was it Morda? Don't answer that.

Don't answer that. Don't. Mordo. No, fucked it. Target So they just made a killing Pardon the pun I hate you

From Donald's, I've actually written Pardon the pun here I know That's why you hate me I understand now I understand while I am hated By most of the population They made the killing from Donald's body

And the two men started to realize That they may be onto a lucrative thing The pair decided that they could give another body To Knoxon early in 1828 The only problem was that this time The tenant they had their eyes on, a man named Joseph wasn't dead yet. Oh no.

He was chosen because he was quite ill and possibly being seen as bad for business. Because, you know, people are coming in and out, they don't want a very sick, possibly contagious person to put off other lodges. But they're too impatient to see if Joseph would actually die from his afflictions. Birkenhair took it upon themselves to help him along. They plied him with lots of whiskey and then hair suffocated him by covering. his mouth and nose, whilst he was forcibly restrained by Burke who lay on his chest. Burke's weight on the victim's stifled movement, and also his ability to make noise, whilst

it also prevented the chest from expanding should any air get past hair's suffocating grip. This sounds like we've got a new murder house on our hands. Murder house. Murder house. Hoose. This became their fate. I think Dave's doing it wrong. I think he's wrong and we're right.

You think it's not hoose. It's not hoose. It's hoose. No, it's a moose. Steering at my hoose. There's a moose loose in my hoose. I mean, maybe we're doing different dialects. That's true, yeah.

I'm doing drunk. Which is the national language of that country. How dare you? My grandfather was also born in Scotland. This became their favoured method of execution as it left the body unmarked and undamaged for the students. who were later to dissect the cadavers. In those days, the method would have been practically undetectable as modern forensics were a long, long way away.

So when the body's getting dropped off, you can't look at it. It's not like it's got a stab wound or something. Yeah. It just looks like a dead guy. Robert Knox again paid them in for the body this time. Ten ponds. Oh, right. What is that?

Ten ponds. Ten ponds. Ten poons. Ten poons. I'm just talking with an Australian accent I'm saying tin poons Tin What's the exchange rate between tin poons and 10 pounds?

Let me get the calculator An unnamed English match seller That's right Someone who went door to door selling matches Was staying at the lodging When he became ill with jaundice And again like the first victim Joseph Thinking that a sick person would be bad for business

And that a dead person would be good for business they decided to suffocate him. They got another 10 pounds and suddenly they had a business on their hands. How much? Nah, I don't want to know. How much would it? How much to kill it joined us, man?

No, how much money would you have to make? Yes. To kill someone. 11 pounds. Got to count for inflation. Mm-hmm. I think inflation might have. Yeah, no, all right.

If you're willing to do it over 11, I'll take you on. I am available on Antaska Oh my God, no That is very illegal And I am not available on Antarctica Though we'll paint your house The next victim was likely a salt seller By the name of Abigail Simpson

Simpson was a pensioner who lived in the nearby Village and visited Edinburgh to supplement Her pension by selling salt I love the jobs of this period of time Imagine how many people would knock on your door though, matches. Yeah. Every single...

Gumboots, mud. You never have to go to the fucking shop. The shop comes to you. These days, we've got to go get everything ourselves. Sucks. I've got to buy my own matches. Mondays or aisle three. Isle three is coming past one by one.

Yeah. When's the last time you went and bought matches? I reckon I'm there a couple times a week. Yeah, matches? Ugh. I reckon half my life spent, you know, the times that I'm breaking from Copland, I'm buying matches.

If only, there was an easy way. Well, now there is. Where are the matchmakers? Oh, you're making them? Well, that sounds much more lucrative than selling them individually at the door. Yeah, you're right. Especially if you're making them yourself,

you can do a nice little markup. Hand-made. Hand-made matches. What's the stuff on top of matches? Match heads. Fire. Both good answers, thank you. Dave Dugel on.

So Abigail Simpson, salt seller. She was invited into Hare's house and applied with enough alcohol to ensure she was too drunk to return home. And after murdering her, Burke and Hare placed the body in a tea chest and sold it to Knox. They got 10 pounds and Dr. Knox approved of it being so fresh. But he did

not ask any questions. Dr. Knox. I reckon there's some questions to be asked there, Noxie. But it's nice they threw on the tea chest. Yeah. Yeah, that is nice. It is beautiful. Well, I didn't mention tea chest was worth 10 pounds as well, so the body was thrown in for

Free. Free body. That night he did dissect the tea chest in front of his class. Look at that beautiful oak. Just take the skull bowl and cut open the ribs of the chest. Jess is feeling sick and I'm describing cutting open the tea chest. That tea chest has a family. Burke met two women in early April.

Ooh! Ladies. I'm like, you go, yeah, all right, date time. Yeah, well, it's time for him to turn a new leaf. Yeah, that's right. They're going to tame this bad boy. Yeah, I mean, I'm a firm believer that you can change a man. I love changing men.

I reel them in, I change everything about him. Love a project. They resent me, and they leave. Sounds a bit like you're on an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Yeah. They come on in. I change their house, I teach them how to dance, I give them new clothes, I teach them how to cook, I'm Ted, and I'm done.

I'm Ted. So these two ladies I'm talking about that Burke meant Mary, Patterson and Janet Brown. He bought the two women some alcohol before inviting them back to his lodging for breakfast. So he bought them drinks before breakfast. That's the kind of time this is. Well, this sounds like how I remember Edinburgh. They also watch the Rangers. Burke's wife gave her to find her husband with two young women,

one of whom had passed out from drinking, and she accused them all of having an affair. A row broke out between Burke and McDougal, Nellie, during which he threw a glass at her, cutting her over the eye. Brown stated that she did not know Burke was married and left. McDougal also left, Nellie, and she went to fetch hair and his wife. Yeah, they're sort of going about a kind of normal laugh amongst the...

Yeah, trying to do that. what I think of as a normal life being married what a normal life it's just weird that you're also going home and sharing a bed with someone after that day yeah

normally think of the murderers as loners I know but you still have small talk at the end how was your day oh bloody bloody yeah bloody so basically they've had a fight Janet Brands left

but yeah see you later J.B but Mary Pat is an MP she's still there oh dear A hare arrived shortly afterwards and the two men locked their wives out of the room and then they murdered Patterson in her sleep. Janet Brown came back, the other friend and asked where a friend wasn't waited for her to return.

Oh, yuck. Janet eventually decided to leave having no idea that Mary was lying dead in the next room, ready to be taken to Knox, and that she herself was likely to be their next victim. Oh my God. She got away. The body was delivered to Knox whilst it was still warm. Oh. And one of Knox's assistants asked where they had obtained the body as he thought he recognized her.

Burke explained that the girl had drunk herself to death and that he had purchased it from quote An old woman in the Cannon Gate Yeah blame an old woman People are trading bodies left right in Santa Things got really out of control When a grandmother and her grandson stayed at the house According to Burke

Hair suffocated the old woman as she lay in bed drunk And then murdered her son But it's pretty convenient to blame the other guy for that one Isn't it? So that's pretty brutal He's now killed an old woman and a young child which they still sold to Knox I'll take all ages

Do you get less or more for a kid? I did read somewhere that they got a deal for the two of them Oh yeah, too far Tova I wonder yeah I wonder if there's anything to learn From blood relatives

Maybe if that's more valuable Oh okay You could be like This is her a lady and our grandson Yeah Both drunk themselves to death And were bought from an old woman on Cannon Gate I'm gonna skip over a few murders here

because there's so many and the timeline is a little bit muddy. Great. But they killed a lot. Or bloody. Very bloody. And at least one occasion, Burke killed with that hair and sold the body himself. But he did not like that when Hare did that back to him.

On the 24th of June, Burke and McDoodle... Yeah. Doodle. It's a much better name. They departed for Felkirk to visit the Ladder's father, McDoodle's father, who literally wasn't McDoodle.

Burke... Burke knew that... Hair was short of cash and had even powned, pawned some of his clothes. When the couple returned, they found that hair was wearing new clothes and had a surplus of money. How are you short of money if you're just killing bodies?

Killing bodies. Like drinking at all. Oh, come on, invest. Get up the drop. Got to invest some of that body money. That's what my dad always said. Mine too. You're not going to have body money forever.

Yeah. Can't take it with you. Invest. Get busy, invest in or get busy dying. After he was asked, Hare denied that he had sold another body, even though he suddenly got cash. Burke checked with Knox, who confirmed Hare had sold a woman's body for eight pounds. Oh, he's undercutting him. It led to an argument between the two men.

They came to blows. Uh-oh. Burke and his wife moved into the home of his cousin, two streets away, so they left. They cracked it. Interesting. The two seem to make up and get back to their old ways pretty quickly, though, because a few months later, Hare was visiting Burke when Mrs. Olsler, a washerwoman. woman came to the property to do the laundry.

The men got her drunk and killed her. So that's how you get, that's how you get, you know, how you kiss and make her. You kill an old washwoman. The corpse was taken to Dr. Knox that afternoon for which they got eight pounds. Eight pounds. Are the two even killed family?

Oh, no. Blood relatives. When Anne Doogle, one of Burke's wife's relatives, came to stay. After a few days, the men killed her with a usual technique and received 10 pounds for the body. Do their wives know what they're doing?

Yes. Okay. They are somewhat complicit. Oh, fuck. Change them. Change those men. Change them. It's not that hard.

You just nag at them. When you get addicted to that sweet cadaver money. That's right. Sweet cadaver cash. Changes everything. Changes everything. More and more of Knox's students started to recognize some of the bodies that were being dissected.

And people began to talk. After all, Edinburgh, especially at the time, is not that big a place. No, that's it. Like, branch out a little bit. You're killing heaps of people. During fringe, though, the population really does swell. It triples. It's really...

Triples. Bloody hell. So people are starting to talk. People are recognising bodies on the table. Bergen Hare made a big mistake choosing their next victim, who was a familiar figure in the streets of Edinburgh. His name was James or Jamie Wilson,

an 18-year-old man with a limp caused by deformed feet. Possibly mentally disabled, he supported himself on the street by begging, so it was known to many locals because they see his face every single day. and he was murdered and when the body was examined the following day

by Knox and his students several of them recognized it to be Wilson but Knox denied it could be anyone the students knew when words started circulating that Wilson was missing Knox dissected the body

ahead of the others that were being held in storage and he swiftly removed its head and deformed foot during dissection so that people couldn't recognize it anymore Oh so Knox's Oh he just needs the bodies

Nox needs the bodies Yeah he needs them Oh no They're all addicted to this little economy they've created. The final victim killed on the 31st of October 1828, Halloween, was Margaret Docketty, a middle-aged Irish woman. She was invited to stay with Burke and Hare on the pretense that she was the distant relation of Burke's mother.

I don't know who's lying to who there. I don't know if she's claiming to be a relative. They're like, you're a relative. Come stay with us. She's like, how do you know that? I'm just on the street. What we just met? No, my mum said your, her mom.

Dism. Grandma, come on in. Nanny, I miss you. Nanny, I miss you. Nanny. By this time, Burke had started taking in his own lodgers, and the Greys, who were lodging with him at the time,

were asked if they could stay at Hairs for the night, so that while they were away, they could quietly kill Margaret Docherty. On their return to Burke's lodging the following day, after their little staycation at Hairs' house, the Grays were told that Marjorie had been asked to leave because she had been flirtatious with Burke, which is weird, because that's her grandson, apparently.

according to me and no one else. The Greys became suspicious when one of them was not allowed to approach a bed where she had left her stockings. They were like, no, don't go in there. Don't go in that room. She's like, I just want to get my stockings. When they were left alone in the house later that evening,

the grey searched around the house in the straw that was in the house and they found Docherty's body showing blood and saliva on her face. On their way to alert the police, they ran into Burke's partner, Nellie McDougallie McDougall who tried to bribe them with an offer of 10 pounds a week if they didn't say anything.

Wow, that's a whole extra body. Yeah, they're going to start killing a body for this. She's in the economy. No, she said no. Fuck. The Greys reported the murders of the police, and Birkenhair, but while she was doing that, Birkenhaer quickly removed the body and took it to Knox's surgery. The police search located Docherty's blood-stained clothing hidden under the bed.

Burk and his wife gave different times for Docherty's departure from the house, which looked really suspicious to police. So they decide to look into it. Guys, get your story right. What time do you leave 5pm? 5 a.m. Oh, no. That's a big window.

It's a very big window. But let's get back to the time we're talking about. What's you left through the window? It keeps getting distracted. It's a big, beautiful window, sure. But if we could just deal with the facts at the hand. But how good is this kettle? Yeah, okay.

It's a good kettle. It's a great kettle. Breville, make good stuff. I love Breville. We all love Breville. Can I match you toast? I get it. Back to the murder.

Sand. Sorry, their wife and husband have given different times. Right, so it's raised enough suspicion for them to be taken in for questioning. Early the following morning, the police went to Knox's dissecting rooms where they found Docherty's body. The body was identified by Gray, one of the people that was at a point of the finger at them in the first place. Fingered him. As the woman. Fingered the dead body.

Just look at me. He fingered. Oh, good on us. identified as the woman he had seen with Burke and Hare. Hair and his wife were arrested that day, because now there's a body. In total, 16 people were murdered by Burke and Hare. Burke stated later that he and Hare were generally in a state of intoxication when the murders were carried out,

and that he could not sleep at night without a bottle of whiskey by his bedside, and two-penny candle to burn all night beside him. That's like 160 pounds. Probably less, because a few of them got like eight. That's not a lot of money. It's not a lot of money, I know, but it still doesn't even feel like it was a lot of money then. What's the cost of burning that candle all night long and all the alcohol he has to drink, you know? Well, I mean, it's called a two-penny candle, so imagine two penny.

No, that's because two pennies, like the two willies were the ones who invented it. That's actually true. Not true. When he awoke, so he said he needed whiskey there, when he woke, he would take a drink from the bottle, sometimes half a bottle, and that would make him sleep. he also took opium to ease his conscience Okay now I know where their money's going Opium Yeah they need all this thing

Oh we've all been there What Haven't you had a little No A little open down an opium opium hole for a few months Nah While you're trying to block out murders from your I've not done that

I've never done that No You've never had a few months What are you saying Now hang on what's happened to you was Just is currently on the opium binge And she can't remember You're very good at hiding it

What are you talking about? You've killed before and you'll kill again. I haven't. I've never killed before and I'll never kill again. So Burke Hare and their wives were arrested, but with forensic evidence being what it was at the time, police found that it wasn't exactly an open and shut case. The four suspects were kept apart and statements were taken.

These conflicted with the initial answers given on the day of their arrests. The body that they'd found before it was dissected was examined, Dockettie's body, the old lady, and the investigators reported that it was probable the victim had been murdered by suffocation, but this could not be medically proven. But on the basis of the report from the two doctors, Bergenhair were charged.

Robert Knox, who had been buying the bodies, was interviewed, and the investigator concluded that he was deficient in principle in heart, but did not think that he had broken the law. He had heaps of hearts. He had bloody drawers full of them. I've got 16 of him right here. What are you talking about?

He definitely knew what was going on. Yeah. 100% Yeah, it's dodgy as And whilst police were certain Multiple murders had taken place They are certain of this Most of the bodies had long been disposed of

So they decided to try And single one of their party out And offer them immunity If they turned on the others And gave evidence Because they don't have any evidence Who's gonna turn One of the wives

Hey? One of the bloody nagging wives I reckon it's Willie Willie Willie I reckon the non-angry one it's a good-looking subby one Burke

No, the other one Well that's hair Who's the angry one? The other one Burke Burke The other one Nah hair

No Burke Yeah Burke Because the angry leader Was that Was that the angry leader Covering himself For either answer Correct

I'm getting confused Because the Burke was the good looking one Likeable In Burke and Wales He was the angry One And Wills was the

Okay Well in this case, Burke is the nice one. I mean, they're both murderers, aren't they? One of the odds of two Birks are slightly different characteristics. It's, you know, unfathomable. Fathomable. Well, it's hot.

William Hare, the bastard, was chosen, and he went for the deal. Ah, of course. Of course he did. The bastard. The bastard. And because he couldn't testify against his wife in law, she too was immune from being charged. He confessed to all the crimes and gave them enough testimony to arrest Burke and his wife McDougall.

What a dog. The three of the murders. Robert Knox, the anatomist, wasn't charged, although popular opinion was against him, with newspapers and many locals thinking he was the mastermind and should be hanged. Now, the case was so sensational that during the trial, 300 constables were enlisted to protect the courtroom. What?

There's nearly a riot. You're kidding. Because people were, you know, outraged. That's amazing. Killed 16 people. Hair took to the stand to give evidence against his former accomplices, and he blamed Burke as being. the sole murderer and his wife as not being complicit and she didn't do any of the killing.

Right. The proceedings lasted just two days and on Christmas Day, 1828, Burke was found guilty. I can't believe. Yeah, that's funny. It's sort of obvious that he'd be the one. I thought the other one was going to be two. He's like, I can't take it. I've got to...

But of course, it was off of the deal. So of course, the asshole... Of course. Now that I know the answer, I'm sure it was hair. Yeah How does he do it? He's so good Fuck you're good

You should have been on this case You would have solved it Hundreds of years ago They would have taken a lot less time Well the proceedings lasted just two days And on Christmas day 1828 Would have done it

A day and a half On Christmas day You there, what day is it Christmas day? As if they're still in court On Christmas day Like do they not take holidays Uh hello

It's public holiday Um Please come on Just justice never sleeps That's so good Who was sitting in the judge chair bloody Scrooge McDuck or something, you know what I mean? Judge David Boyle.

Oh, sorry, yeah. Burke was found guilty and sentenced to hang, with the same charge against McDougal found to be not proven, so she was let go. She was a widow. As he passed the death sentence against Burke, the judge David Boyle told him, your body should be publicly dissected and anatomized,

and I trust, that if it is ever customary to preserve skeletons, yours will be preserved in order that posterity may keep in remembrance of your atrocious crimes. Oh wow. So you get to be remembered forever? What a crime. What a punishment. How odd. McDougal was released at the end of the trial and she returned home. The following day she was confronted by an angry mob

who were pissed off that she had been proven not guilty. Or not proven verdict. She was taken to a police station for her own protection, but after the mob laid siege to it, she escaped through a back window to the main police station. She loved windows, isn't she? She got a... That's a lovely big window.

She tried to see Burke, but permission was refused. She left Edinburgh the next day, and there are no clear accounts of her later life. Oh, my God. She just escaped. Wow. Burke? Not so lucky.

Who was hanged on the morning of the 28th of January, 1829, in a crowd possibly as large as 30,000? No way. Fused from the window. Overlooking More windows Overlooking it were So valuable that people

Rented them out Between 5 to 20 shillings Just to get a good look of this man hang Fuck A few days later His corpse was publicly dissected by Professor Monroe Seconders In the anatomy theatre of the university's old college

A riot forced the authorities To grant access And an estimated 30,000 people viewed his corpse What? I wanted to make sure he was dead. They only estimated in groups of 30,000 back then. It was actually only about 15 people.

They always round up. It's either 1 or 30,000. On a scale of 1 to 30,000, well, it's 15, but that's actually 30,000. Burke's skeleton was given to the anatomical museum of the Edinburgh Medical School, where you can still see it to this day. No way. You can also see a leather notebook that accompanies it that was made out of his skin. No, no, Dave, you are joking.

There is a leather-bound book and that leather is made from his skin. That's disgusting. You know what leather is there, right? Yeah, Burke's skin. It's always Burke's skin. It's amazing how much they got out of it. The thing is if you flatten a human out, you can cover the entire globe with one human hair. Yeah, three times.

30,000 times. It would have been better. A hair, on the other hand, escaped justice completely. There was a riot when people discovered where he was staying. but with the help of police he was able to slip away into the night and what happened to him is unknown. You piece of shit. So he pointed the finger at his mate after killing 16 people.

Fingered his mate and ran. Hey, we've all been there. And finally... Tell me. Tell me you haven't. Tell me you haven't fingered a mate and then ran away. And ran until there's no record of your existence ever again. Okay, Dave, sure. I was planning on doing it tonight.

Sorry. Not with her. of you. I've got other mates. Named three. Trevor? Last name? Trevor.

Trevor. It's a good name. Oh boy. Where he's only friends? You sad, sad little loser. Well, the same thing is I'll have to finger one of you. No, no, Trevor, Trevor. We believe.

Yeah, finger Trevor, Trevor. You're listening out there, Trevor, Trevor, get in contact at Dave Wanaki. Finger, Finger, Trevor. Double digits. And finally, the surgeon Robert Knox, who has been a bit of a bastard throughout the whole episode, he wasn't ever charged, but his actions did cost him his career. He was seen as guilty in the eyes of many and frequently caricatured in the local newspapers. And if that doesn't ruin your career as a doctor, I don't know what will. Oh, they drew another bloody caricature. My head's all big.

I'll never wake in this town again. Well, out of whack. Burke got hanged and gutted, but the real victim here is me. I look silly in that picture. That is that really, he just turns to his wife. Does my nose really look like that? This is what I look like? Is it?

Is it? This is what I look like? I don't want to say anything mean. Oh, fucking hell. Fucking hell, Helen. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus Christ. You heard of him?

Fuck. Well, apart from the. the caricatures, he was also forced to resign from his position as curator of the College of Surgeons Museum and he was gradually excluded from his university life by his peers. Good. Yeah, rightly so. Mainly because they'd be like, see that caricature of you, Rob? It was like a dickhead.

Look a fucking idiot. Bonus, fun facts. Fun is in quotation marks. Fun facts, fun facts, fun facts, fun facts, fun facts, fun facts. Because of Burke and Hair. rhythm. Because of Birkenhaer and stories of grabe robbing. Grape.

What did I say? Grabe. Grabe robbing. Sorry, I meant to say grape robbing. Because of Birkenhaer and story, is it... I don't know if it's possible to be in a room that's so hot that you've, like, sweat out your linguistic abilities, but I have tonight. I think you've done it. Again.

It's got to be 45 to 50 degrees in here, okay. And we haven't, we haven't even complain that much. It's pretty good. Yeah. Try again. Because of Birkenhair and stories of grave robbing and murdering to supply bodies, legislation was soon introduced after they were arrested.

This act authorized dissection on bodies from workhouses unclaimed after 48 hours and ended the practice of anatomizing as part of death sentences for murder. So there was finally enough bodies for all. Yay, because... Yay, people are dying so much in the workhouses that there's heaps and heaps of bodies. Look, that was a fact. Sorry, how about this one?

A new word... I'll move on quickly because it's not that fun. A new word was coined from the murderers. Burking. What do you think burking means? Fucking, you're made over? That'd be way better. To smother a victim or to commit an...

Oh, Jesus Christ. It was hairs who fucked him over, right? Sorry, I keep getting confused. Yeah, to smother a victim. Or to smother a victim. to commit an anatomy murder. That's burking. Burking.

That's gross. Oh, bloody Trevor, Trevor over here was burking all night. It took a long time. He's a bloody burker. And finally... I didn't even mean that. And finally, a rhyme began circulating around the streets of Edinburgh, and I will not be able to pronounce this,

if my diction is anything to go by so far. But this is a famous rhyme from Edinburgh. up the close and dooned the stair. Butch and Ben we burke and hare. Burks the butcher, hares the thief, knocks the boy that buys the beef. Ah. That is a 19th century Edinburgh rhyme. And there's been a few movie adaptations and all that kind of stuff, but I didn't watch them.

So who cares? That is the end of my Burke and Hair report. Thank you. And good night. Actually, the final thing, when I was doing my research on this, I often I like to see if there's any other podcasts out there, if it's going to be a fun topic. And there weren't many on this, which was cool.

And then I also looked to see if there's any, like, sort of documentaries on YouTube. There weren't any. But there was a six-minute video from the famous English children's show, Blue Peter. Have you heard of Blue Peter? No. It's very famous for being one of the longest-running children shows in history. I think it's been running for about five or six decades. and every generation of English people grow up with Blue Peter

with different hosts. Look up Birkenhaer Blue Peter, because I don't know the kind of fucked up shit that you play to your children's audiences in England, but that's where I learnt the fact about his skin being bound into a leather book. That's gross. And at the end of it, it's so good, I'll post this video,

six-minute video, they talk about all the murders, all the crazy stuff, and at the end she goes, and back to our food of the day. Did anyone guess what it was? anyone, that's right, it's curry! Cut back to her in the studio and she's cooking some sort of curry dish. A beef curry dish.

It is, it is outrageous what they're playing. That is so good. It's like murders, leather from skin, curry! I've never seen Blue Peter. I've heard people talk about it before and I can see the appeal. Blue Pear sounds like the name of a serial killer, Blue Peter. Do I reckon? Yeah, big time.

He's burking all night. Guys, it's time to say thank you for, first of all, downloading, listening to our show in general and to say a big thank you to everyone that supports the show through Patreon. Patreon.com slash do go on pod. If you want to get the bonus episodes, if you want to vote on our topics, if you want to get the live video streams, if you want to interact with us on a different level, you can go to patreon.com slash do go on pod. And we'd also like to give some shoutouts now to some of those beautiful, beautiful people. shout out

shout out to my homies Jess would you like to do a shout out Yeah but lately we've been doing like We've been giving them some kind of Title or What could we What about who their murderer accomplices Birken hair

Okay Their last name And we make up Good one Because all I could think of was Like how much we think their bodies would be worth And that seems fucked Yeah

What you could turn their skin into Oh okay No Dave's was better So I'd like to start with How many things can they be from Charlotte, North Carolina. I'm trying to keep talking, so you stop. North Carolina, that's not going to make me stop talking.

That's going to get me really interested to hear some sort of fun fact about that state. Did you guys know that Michael Jordan played college ball in North Carolina? And through his career, playing for the Bulls, he would wear his old North Carolina shorts underneath his Bulls shorts. Weren't that in Space Jam? I wonder if that was a fact. that was known by our friend Josh Jones. Good name. Josh Jones is good.

Jones and... Come on, don't think too much. Jones and Jordan. Jones and Jordan. Oh, good one. That's a good killer duo. Jordan and Jones, I think it would be. I would have done some great alleyup kills.

Yeah, that's right. Throw the head up. Jordan dunks it. Dunks it. Slam dunk the neck till it breaks. Oh, my God. And the funk. I hate that.

Okay, so thank you very much to Josh Jones. All right. So everyone else has done a serial kill episode. And I finally get my shot at greatness, and Jess just shits all over it. Yeah, this is Riverdance all over again, mate. This is something that you're all passionate about, you're sick little man. Yeah, I'm passionate about 1800s Edinburgh murders. I'd also like to thank from Los Angeles.

Sydney Scott was a good name. I was really hoping he can say Shineberg, because I'm sure he lives there. He's a Hollywood legend. Yeah, you're right. Both of yours were bloody same letter thing. Sydney Scott Alliteration Alliterative

Okay so Sydney Scott and Shineberg They probably call them the two Sydney's though Wouldn't they? Probably perfect Well that's what you'd think But the two Willys Never really took off

Yeah that's right Why weren't they the two Willys? That's great A couple of JJ and SS Thank you JJSSS Matt who you got I'd love to thank if I could And I think I can

From Merseyside Which I believe is in Liverpool Well, that wasn't great. Liverpool. Liverpool. That's two kinds of... No, there's a high and the low, Liverpool. Stop.

Please stop. Scales, Ler, yeah, all right. Yasmina Litherland. Oh, Litherland and... Hutch. That's where I was going to say Litherland and John and Paul and Rinkle. I was thinking of Lennon, Lennon, and Lennon. Oh, that's good.

Litherland and Lennon. They wrote some songs. They killed. some people, they did it all. They also liked Hatch. Because it was a rabbit. Thank you, Yasmina. Thank you so much, Yasmina.

Sick name as well, Yasmina Litherland. Beautiful. Sounds like a JJ, not JJ Abrams who wrote Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling. J.K. Rowling. It's got a bit of a J.K. rolling

for a bit of a bit of. Yasmina Litherland. I think she would have been a good magic student in a wizard-type school. And I'd also love to say, and this name's also sick. from Provo, Utah, Danny Muts. M-U-T-Z. Muts and hut.

Muts and hut. Muts and hut. Yeah. That's pretty good. I'd go there for dinner. What's their special? Muts. Hang on, hang on.

We do Muts and we do it good. Hang on, are they serving up dog? Or are they murderers? What's going on? They're walking here. They're walking here. Hey. She's from Utah. I flew in so close to Provo in So Lake City one time because that's one of the big hub airports when I drove up to Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

What's their bar like? The bar like in, no, I had a quick In-N-Out burger or something like some sort of American chain meal. I imagine all the American chain meals we are going to eat on our American tour. Fuck, so powerful. I'm going to eat so much. In Gary, Indiana. Yep. Gary, Indiana is, I'm going to leave their five pounds richer,

because I'm going to kill half a body. What's sore off someone's legs? Yeah. How they do it in Gary? Some people have said that it's a murder capital of America. I don't believe that for a second. Don't believe that for a second. I think you just don't want to believe it.

It's the city of love, and it's the city of the century. It's the thief capital of America, because they steal all out. heart. I'd like to thank, I'd like to thank a beautiful, beautiful soul. I don't want another pretty face.

I don't want just anyone to hold. I don't want my love to go to waste. I want you and your beautiful soul. I'd like to thank the beautiful soul of Tate James. Tate James, who is listening all the way over in Sudbury, Canada. James and. And?

Tait and Tots. What? Tait and Tots. God, you paid money for improv classes. So, she goes around Tatey and kills with her partners, toddlers. Her partners are toddlers? Yeah. Tots. Right.

Well, Tate, if we did go to the amazing state of Ohio, would just be a couple of Great Lakes away, because they, because Sudbury is just, over the border in Canada. So thank you so much for listening there. Tate and Tot. Tate and Tots. Yeah, good.

Yeah, no, worth correcting. Yeah. You know what, Tate? I reckon just don't quit your day job. Don't kill for money. Jess, you did mention I did some improv class a little while ago. And I think the first rule, which you don't know, because obviously is no blocking. But it is just not something that you can get.

I've told you many times for free. You're not hearing it. God, you're going to. Yes, and I do have to go with it. Yes. And Taiton Tots. And never talk publicly about me doing improv classes again. You've done that several times.

Anyway, Dave. And finally, I would like to thank all the way from Portland, Maine. That's right. Top corner, northeast of the US, US of A. I would like to thank Christy Bryson. Christy Bryson and... The Bull. the bull oh sorry bryson you've really calm off second best there the bull is a sweet

yeah but the bull as a character very radic are you thinking that because bison brison and bison nah bison and the bull what do you mean about me blocking no that wasn't blocking that was questioning asking you're allowed to ask i said no is that a question i don't know if we've had a listener from main before that's really really cool our main a main man One of the smaller states there. Thank you so much. Thanks, Christy. Main listener of Maine.

Christy, we appreciate that. Thanks, Christy. On you, Christy. And thanks for everyone that supports the show at patreon.com slash do go on pod. And thanks everyone in general for listening to the show. As always, you can tell a friend about the show or give us a sweet review on iTunes

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