Do Go On - 113 - Explorer, David Livingstone

Episode Date: December 20, 2017

David Livngstone you presume? Correct! One of the most famous people of the Victorian era, David Livingstone was a terrible missionary... But lucky for him he was a fantastic explorer. Travelling to Africa for three seperate epic adventures, he went to an incredible amount of places no other European person had ever been before him. He is also perhaps best remembered for his advocacy against slavery. Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Twitter: @DoGoOnPod Instagram: @DoGoOnPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/ Email us: [e-mail]/FURTHER READING ON LIVINGSTONE:https://www.britannica.com/biography/David-Livingstonehttps://www.biography.com/people/david-livingstone-9383955https://www.britannica.com/topic/Opium-Warshttp://zambezitraveller.com/livingstone/history/david-livingstone%E2%80%99s-early-missionary-years-and-first-expeditionLivingstone, David, Missionary Travels and Researches In South Africa (1858)http://www.historytoday.com/richard-cavendish/david-livingstone-reaches-victoria-fallshttp://www.tothevictoriafalls.com/vfpages/discovery/second.htmlThe Daring Heart of David Livingstone: Exile, African Slavery, and the Publicity Stunt That Saved Millions - Jay Milbrandt (2014)https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/Doctor+Livingstone%2C+I+presume%3Fhttps://www.nts.org.uk/Learn/adult_hidden_livingstone.php Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. Jess is already laughing. I am here with me, Dave Warnocky, and I'm here with Jess and her laugh. It's Jess and Matt. Hello. So confusing. Jess and her laugh and Matt in his butt. Is that what you said?

What have I got? You're here with you, me, Dave Warnocky. Here I am. It's confusing. Confusing. Especially if you've never heard the show before, but anyway, bear with us. If you haven't heard the show before, why are you starting an episode 113? Because of this very interesting topic, I assume.

Ah, that makes sense. It is a very interesting topic. You guys don't know what it is yet, but we'll get there in due course. Well, weather update for the listeners. I know they love us talking about the weather. They love it. It's not hot. It's not cold, but it is very wet outside.

Yeah, it's pissing down. It's an absolute pisser. It is pissing down. Dave called me from outside. To complain about the rain. And she didn't do anything about it. Yeah, he was like, I'm here, but I had to park down the street. I was like, that's great, Dave.

Get inside. Yeah. And he was like, oh, like, it's not going to stop in the next five minutes for you to be able to just wander in. Make a run for it, your little bitch. You know what? I waited five minutes and she was right. It did not stop for me. So you ran like a little bitch, didn't you?

Well, I put in a different way. I strolled like a little bitch. That's what I do. I can't run, especially in rain. What do you want to risk my life? Never. I would never ask you to do that. Please don't do that.

Oh, it was very wet. But I do call you every time I pull up outside because I'm so anxious about seeing Matt. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, you're always like, is he there? I'm like, yes, Dave, we're recording a podcast. And I'm like, are you there? Because I cannot be left to line with him. I know.

I know. Is that true? I can't be. I'm mostly here. a mediator. You can't be left alone with me because you're afraid of what you'll do or you're afraid of what I'll do. Oh, interesting distinction. Yes, very important, Matthew. Good call. I'm afraid of what I'll do because of what you do. Interesting. Okay. Okay. It's called self-defense. Right. Okay. Read about it. Okay. I'm going to look that up. Self-defense.

Got a crayon out, which is weird. Ripping it with his whole fist. How do you search things? No, no, it's good, man. Mani. Good job. He's going to go down to the library tomorrow. Get out an encyclopedia. They're the ones that cost a little more money. Hmm. Yes. Pay, yeah.

Oh, nice one. Is that where you got that from? No? No, no, it's just an expensive brand. You're not familiar with it. Okay, interesting. I am not a classy lady. I think we've warmed up Matt enough there with that humor.

You're firing all cylinders, so maybe we should get into the show. Oh, yep. No, if you haven't heard the show before, because you are interested in this very interesting topic that we'll get to in a second. This is a show where one of us takes it in turn to, we all take it in turn. One of us does a report on a topic suggested by a listener. It is my time to take it in turn. It's 113 goes. They've turned off.

We cannot describe a very basic concept. I know. I mean, they've probably read the description as well. We all take it in turn. Well, that's true. Both of those sentences are technically true. Okay, great. That's all we want.

We are friends. Technically true. That's right, exactly. This show, technically true, but very hard to listen to. One person talks more than the others about a topic. And it is my turn to talk the most. Okay. I won't be stopped.

That's our favourite, actually. Yeah. I've got the question here. This has been suggested. This is one of our final golden hat suggestions from our long-time patron supporter, James Roy boy. We did like Roe Boy. Sorry, Jams, Royboy. He was on the live Patreon chat.

Yeah, we did that last week. Which one was, what was James up to? Was he the one driving and delivering? No, that was Christopher. Sorry, James, sorry Christopher. James was in, I don't know. Tazzy? Yeah.

James Roy? No, I don't know. England. Yeah, James, no. Just sue the show. All right, James, this one's for you. Sue the show. Do the show.

Just sue the show. Look, James, just sue the show if it's an issue that we don't remember. Okay. We've got upwards of ten listeners, James. I can't remember all of you. My God. But we do love all of you equally. All ten?

No. Ten percent each. There's one I love slightly more. 11%. That means it one's on maybe nine? Who do you love a lot? No, I'll never tell. It's so, isn't it?

It is. I know. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows? I'll never tell. I've got a question here about James Roy's topic.

The question is, which English missionary is arguably the most famous explorer of Africa? Okay. You've lost me because it's history and geography. That's why. just before we hit record said, is this interesting? And I said, I'll find it interesting because I'm a history nerd. And also a bit of a geography nerd. Yeah.

So over to Matt. If I asked you, or no, I'm going to make a statement here and see if this is true. Dr. Jones, I presume. That's not quite right. That is so close. Fuck. Dr. Jones, the aqua song. Dr. Jones, I presume.

Doctor. Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones, wake up now. I presume. Good thinking music for Matt. It is Dr. Shervington. No, it's something like that. Matt Shervington.

Have you ever heard the... All right, I'll just say it and I'll ask Jess if you said of it. Doctor... Dr. Livingston, I presume. Have you heard that quote, Jess? Yeah, I just said it. Have you heard it before it came out of your mouth? Yes.

I'm pretty sure I thought. I first heard that on Sesame Street. Really? Yeah. Oh, God, it's a highbroucher. Okay, Dr. Livingston. Have you heard of English missionary and explorer Dr. Livingston? No.

Dr. David Livingston. Okay, now I understand why you like it. Now, James Roy suggested Dr. Livingston and the quest for the sauce of the Nile. I've actually just focused on... What sauce is it? Barbecue? Chattany? Chattany is not a sauce?

Chattoni. Chattany? Wouldn't you call chutney a sauce? What do you call that? What other sauces are there? A salsa. I call it a relish. Oh, relish.

What about a bit of peppermint sauce on your roast lamb? Oh. Never had it? Don't want to go there. Pork chops and apple sauce. Oh, plum sauce. Sweet chili and your spring rolls. We're going to find out what the source of this damn nile is.

Or will we? Oh. As we discuss the life. of David Livingston. That's very dramatic. Thank you. Shall we? Shall we get into it?

Yeah, I was like, rain it in, mate. David Livingston. No, that's more dramatic now. You're raining it out. I got a compliment and I really ran with it there. No, again, I need to clarify. It was not a compliment. Look, I heard a compliment, Jess.

Are you taking it back? Yes. Well, yes, I'm taking it back. Do you have a crush on this topic? Yeah, I've got a crush on the topic. All right, well, let me give it to you. The topic will give it. to you.

David Levingston. All right, actually, I'm going to preface this. He's Scottish, by the way. David. I'm worried about this because on the Planet Broadcasting Greatmates, the Facebook group, you know,

that Levin's actually created, Planet Broadcasting. Alumni. I like that. That's good. And there's lots of people in there now and people post mainly about superhero comic movies and every time, every now and then, I should say.

someone mentions our podcast and they pick on something I've said. Okay, mate. And this was... They also say a lot of really nice things and you're choosing to... They say some nice things about you, Jess. They will not compliment me in that room. Oh, now you're just asking for it. Asking for compliments.

Yes, please. I'm a very fragile human. Anyway, so some Scottish people got annoyed because I have been mispronouncing their town names on the Burke and Hare episodes set on the... Glasgow. around Edinburgh. I said fell Kirk, F-A-L-K-I-R-K-K-R-K-K-F-K-K-K. F-K-K-E-K-I-R-K-K, I'm so sorry.

Okay, well, I mean, we have different accents. I know, yes, but I'm about to talk about a very famous Scottish man, so I'm worried I'm going to fuck up a few more. So this is me apologising in advance. It's the equivalent of, well, you know when Melbourne people get annoyed when people say Melbourne? I fucking love it when people say Melbourne. No, no. Well, I mean, you're just saying the same thing that you just said.

they were saying that weren't saying. Yeah, all right, good point. But Melbourne sounds dumb. I love it. I probably fell. But also it's weird when like an American will correct themselves and say it properly. And so then they, everything else in their sentence is American. And then they sell Melbourne.

And you're like, okay, that does sound ridiculous coming from you. I appreciate the effort. Maybe just soften the bourne a little bit, like Melbourne, you know? It is great when someone's just absolutely going for it in a foreign language. And then they stop and just say, it's like, oh, my God, yes. McDonald's. I remember one time being out for dinner. What language is that? sexy.

Being out for dinner with my ex-boyfriend. And he was ordering, he's ordering an Italian restaurant. And he did exactly that. And he was like, yeah. And then for mains, I'll get the spinach and ricotta. And I was like, no, no. I know you're saying it properly. You left it then and never saw him again.

Oh, yeah, I just, I got up. I took my things. I left my napkin on the table. I said, excuse me. And we haven't spoken since. I said good day, sir. And he was like, I said ricotta. I said, arrived.

No, mate, I'm saying goodbye. Arriva dot. Look, mate, I'm just going to have to walk away. Yeah, I don't. I don't know you anymore. Ciao Bella. Okay, so David Livingston was born in Blantire. Oh, you fucked it.

Lannickshire, Scotland. You fucked all of it. But it's Scotland. Even that is wrong, isn't it? Lanarkshire. Oh dear. You are not helping. Sorry, everybody.

My son-name is Stuart, a Scottish name. No, it's, no. It's not far from Glasgow for context here. A few miles out. In the year 1813. Oh, a good year. Not on that for a while. Yeah.

Feels good. It's good to be back. When you say it, I love it. Okay. That's nice feedback, I guess. Just a note for the record. Right. He was one of seven children born.

Jenny. Dave. Question, ma. Do they know what's causing it? Thank you so much. It does feel good to be back. It really does. Where did you go?

No, for us to be back in the room. Oh. And for you to say, good year and Matt to follow it up with, do they know what's causing it? Sure. He was one of seven children born to Neil and Agnes. Agnes. Is their, what they're?

Celebrity couple name? Benefer, Nagnus. They're all here. Brangelina, do they ever work out? No. Damn. Except for pot and becks. Pecks.

Oh, yeah, that's good shit. Oh, yeah. Neil, this is the father, worked in a cotton factory, and all nine of the family lived in a single room at the top of the building uses a home for the cotton workers. The room measured just 14 by 12 feet or 3.5 by 4.2 meters. How did nine people fit in that? They were really poor.

Sorry, three and a half by 12 feet. two meters? Three and a half by four point two. Four point two. Poor people are very good at fitting. Very nice. I think is what Dave meant. I think my bedroom might be a similar kind of size.

Poor people are like Tetris blocks. They must just have bunk beds. It's the only possible explanation. They fit together. They know their place, which is together. And when they create a perfect line, they decombust. Decombust. Just how about they just combust?

I'm going to save you here, Matt. They were so poor that at the age of just 10, he too had to work in the cotton factory where he and his brother worked for between 12 and 14 hours a day. No. No. This is what 10-year-olds should be doing for 12 to 14 hours a day. Playing the Sims. Okay.

End of list. And if... Look, do you want me to take it up with Agnes? Because I can. If you wouldn't mind. Just likes it if they'll work either 10 hours or 15 hours. Yeah. Round it down or up.

Depending on what mood I'm in. An academic young chap. On the weekend, he would undertake school with some of the other children who worked in the cotton mill. And I also do some schooling after their long, gruelling days. Oh, fuck that. That was a real sweet little rhyme and verse. Thank you. Watch out for more of those coming soon.

I don't want more. He was also a great reader. His name was not Peter. Matt was just taking a sip and it was not the best timing. Factually, factually accurate. His name was not Peter. I would have mentioned that. It had nothing to do with the rhyme.

That was an accident. His smug face, though, right? That was the best part. He was also a great reader, not named Peter, but he also self-educated, often propping up books in the factory where he could work, often propping out books in the factory where he worked so he could read whilst performing his monotonous job of attaching cotton heads to the spinning machines. He read books on many subjects as well as taking a keen interest in nature and the great outdoors,

So I've got no idea when this guy slept. He's working 14 hours a day. He's going to school and he's going outside in the great outdoors. Hey, when you've got ambitions, you don't need sleep. He does. One thing about this guy, he's driven. I like it. You said keen interest then.

We had feedback recently from an American who said they only ever hear the word keen on this podcast. Is that something we say a lot? Yeah, keen for peen. That was a hashtag we used. That was quite popular. And then people were like commenting on it saying, someone said, if someone said I'm keen for something in a conversation where they live,

people would be like, what, do you like it or you dislike it? Yeah, right. It's amazing. Language is fun, isn't it? I'm keen for that. Fine, we'll go around and kill it. What do you want? Pull out a gun.

It's their answer to everything. Who, Dave? Unkeen people. Got it. His father, this is David, was extremely religious and so was he. He grew up a Calvinist, but when he reached the age of 18, he joined a much stricter discipline of Christianity. Stricter than Kelvin's?

Twice as strict. I wonder what was the Malcom's? Twice as many Calvin's. The Gerald's? They're fucked. The Gerald's are fucked. Jezzers. Geraldism.

Geraldism. Okay. David worked at the cotton plant from the age of 10 to 26. But this hard, monotonous work gave him the tenacity to work hard. Hang on. That's 16 years. Can you confirm. And this put him in good stead to achieve great things in later life.

Such as? Or are you alluding to something? You could just tell us now. A little sizzle there. Yeah. So you're not going to tell us. Sizzled. You're just going to, you could just wrap it up there.

Just tell us what it was. It'll save everyone a lot of time. The way we go. But you're going to keep talking, aren't you? Look, we have a quota of minutes to fill. Do we? I've never signed a contract on that. There's a podcast law.

Neither, there isn't. If it goes under an hour, we all die. That's... It's like speed. If this podcast goes under 60 minutes, we're all dead. Thank God, Keanu Reeves is here. Oh, God, I love that movie. Such a good movie.

So good. Dennis Hopper, best bad guy ever. Such a good bad guy. So good. Anyway. Livingston had aspirations to work as a mission. and an appeal for medically qualified missionaries in China made him set his sights on becoming a doctor. He put himself through uni at Glasgow by continuing to work.

No. That didn't work? No. By continuing to work in the mill and he studied Greek, theology and medicine for two years in said city, Glasgow. Why do you need to know Greek and medicine? If you're ever in Athens, you need to treat a patient? Oh, good point. Yeah, I hadn't thought about that.

Great point. Sorry, really. Yeah, that's right. If someone, like, you know, has a heart attack on the Acropolis, you've got to know what to do. You've got to know what to do. Or some other Greek reference. I'm out. Zublaki.

Zablaki. If they're having a heart attack in Sublarki. If someone, say, is standing on the top of one of those white buildings with the blue domes near the beach in Santorini, and they fall off onto an asthmatic fit. They fall onto an asthmatic fit? Yep. So there's two people involved now. one's having a nice magnetic fit

one has fallen from a great height so you really need to be able to speak the language yeah you need to be able to speak of the Greek yeah like I did just then sprecking the Greek did you just say speaker to Greek speak at the Greek I hated that

do you hate that no fucking love it thank you it seems like she's trying to pretend she doesn't love you rhyming but it's pretty transparent what you're trying to do I'm just trying to be the bad boy of the pod

bad boy bad boy what you're gonna do what's he gonna do I'm the Aussie bed boy. So he's putting himself through you and he's becoming a doctor, but his dreams of being a missionary in China were dashed when the first opium war broke out in China. That'd be a fun war.

Imagine. Do you know anything about that? Who can do more? Was that what it was? Yeah. Who can do more opium? They should have called it the Opium Olympics, really. Matt, I reckon I could do more opium than you.

Oh, well, you've got yourself an opium war. All right, mate, let's fucking do it. Light me up. Don't bring a bloody knife to an opium fight. Bring opium. I was just going to use it to chop up the opium, but okay. B.Y.O. Opium. B.Y.O.O.p.

Oh, fuck. I was going to say. What does the other O stand for? Own. Yes. I reckon it does. Bring your opium. No, but bring your opium.

That's the same thing as saying bring your own opium. I'm not going to bring Steve's opium. Why not? What if you need to hand carrying it from the car? Fair enough. Steve. meet you in five. He's such a good friend, Dave here.

Is it just for that? Don't give him microphone. He's my opium dealer. Oh dear. The first opium war, for those nerds playing at home like me, was China versus Britain. I reckon I know who came out on top. Basically, foreign powers. He looked at me, just looked at me like, oh, who?

Do you? No. No. Opium, you know those Brits. I don't even know what opium is. is to be honest. It's like heroin? It's like an earlier derivative, like an opioid.

Oh, it's an opioid? Well, that clears everything else. It's just similar to like heroin and extremely addictive, but you smoke it through an opium pipe. Oh, an opium pipe. Now I get it. Thank you. Can you explain it to me more using the word opium?

Great. So opium is bad. Okay. End of story. But in terms of opium, what is opium? That's like asking. Is it opium bad? It's not opium bad, but it's not opium good.

Okay, I think I get it now. Are we in the right realm? Yeah, the opium realm. Do go on. Basically, foreign powers are making lots of money by selling Indian opium to Chinese people, and a lot of Chinese people were getting addicted. So the then-ruling dynasty of China tried to step in and stop the trade. And Britain, it was making heaps of cash from selling opium, didn't like that.

So they had a war over it. Right. And then there was the second opium war. Never heard of the opium war. Britain and France versus China. Oh. But that is another story. Another opium-based story.

Okay, fewer. But that's not for now. This story... That's an opium later. That's not for opium now. It's not an opium later. The following year in 1840, David Livingston moved to London to continue his medical studies.

So he's finally away from... London. He's finally away from the cotton mill. Oh, right? London. London. So basically he's free from the cotton mill finally. He's in London.

And whilst there, he met famous missionary and future father-in-law, Robert Moffat, who had spent a lot of time in southern Africa. Moffat recognized Livingston's abilities and convinced David that Africa would be a good place to go as a missionary instead of China, with an emphasis on the region north of the Kalahari Desert. Hmm. I've heard of it. Please, Jess. Tell me whereabouts it is.

Dave, we just don't have the time. Okay. Because you're going to read out the exact coordinates. Yeah. It just doesn't want to patronise you, mate. You know a little bit of geography. You know where the Kalahari Desert is, might, it's next to the... You know where north of the Kalahari Desert is?

North. North? There's a Kalahari Desert. Slightly north, there we are. That's where our story... Pretty sure. Egypt's north of the Kalahari. It's true.

Yes. Yep. As are other things. Just one. Name one for me. Egypt. And pyramids. Cairo.

Can't fault you there. Guyosa. If you're eating it in Egypt. Egypt. Okay. So he set his heart on Africa now. By the end of the year, he was ordained as a missionary, and by now, who is also a qualified medical doctor, he set sail for South Africa and a few months later arrived at Cape Town in March 1841.

But yeah, it was 1841. It still counts in the 1800s. It does. That's right. That decade, I can't wait for the 2040s. Oh, man. Will we be alive? Well, you'll be in your 50s, so hopefully.

That's going to be fun. All right, so we've left Scotland now, which is good. No more Scottish names, but now many more African names, which in many ways, harder to pronounce. But we have a lot less African list. to give a shit, so this is good stuff. And also, we have diplomatic immunity. That'll get him back on side.

He arrived in northern South Africa, a place called Kuru Man in 1841. Now 28 years old, Livingston met his mentor, Robert Moffat. And he also met Moffat's eldest daughter, Mary. Mary Moffat. Boom, yeah. Yeah. Sat on her toff. Yeah.

Mary Moffett. Did they not think about names when they, back then? Well, you have so many kids, you don't have time. By the time you name one, well, the time you name one, your wife's had two more. Well, my dad is the youngest of eight, and his name is John. As you know, you've met my dad. But he also has a sister who has like the female version of his name.

So there's a John and a Joan. Oh, I thought it was going to be Jonathan. That's not, that's just silly, Dave. Okay, right, so Jess has decided there's no more silliness on this episode. When have I ever participated in silliness? Jess doesn't do silly, Dave. I am the serious one. That's why we love you.

You what? You keep us on track. She says no word. Is that the first time he's ever said it? On the record. I make you boys yell it at me as we leave every time. Look in my eyes. Say it.

Yell it in my eyes. Why into your eye? It helps. Sorry, do go on. More silliness. So David and Mary Moffett would ultimately fall in love and get married. So now she's Mary Livingston's that'd be better. That's better.

And they would set up their own mission station. So she was also born in Africa. Oh. To her English father. So she was an English citizen, but she was born in Africa and spent a lot of her life growing up there. So she was also on the same page as him and wanting to explore and be a missionary. Awesome. Spread the gospel.

I have not heard the word missionary this much since. like year nine sex ed. And even then they just called it normal style. Normal style. Okay, so you're doing it, normal style. You're there, there, it's normal. It's normal, nothing weird. I still call it normal style.

I don't fully understand how you can do it any other way, to be honest. Do you want to be abnormal? Let's do it abnormal style. No, thank you. Sir, that's what I say. Being a missionary in Africa wasn't easy. The nomadic nature of the people they were trying to convert or convert. Because we fight about words too much on this show.

You're getting a lot of support for cartilage online in the last few weeks. I know. What a surprise that the people of Queensland were wrong. What a surprise. I'm with you, Queensland. Yeah, that was great. Everyone in Brisbane. Most fun live show we've done yet, I reckon.

Just going to say that. I don't pick favourites. I do. And I also love them all. There was that, I mean, that, that rant that Jess did that time was pretty great. Oh. That was in Melbourne. Against a certain Irwin.

That was Jess's, that was your highlight. That was some of my best work. I was just speaking from the heart. The show had a show real. It would just be that. Oh. And it does have a show real and that's why we are yet to sign to any major record labels or do any films. Because they think we hate a certain Erwin.

Don't want to get it going. So anyway, the nomadic nature of the African people they're trying to convert meant they were always on the move and often hard to track down to preach to. David decided that they needed to be more amongst the action and he moved the station 200 miles north to a very isolated place, perhaps best described as one of the most of the most of the places on Earth at the time. Wow. It was cut off from the south by the Kalahari Desert, which was uncrossable for most of the year because it's so, so hot. But Livingston didn't care about contact with the outside world. he wanted to get in contact with the local so he could preach the word of God. Cool.

There was supposedly more Africans to be found in this region, and this suited his purpose of spreading the gospel through, quote, native agents. So he figured if he could convert some locals. They would preach the gospel to other locals. Yeah. He would basically. Classic Egypt. Are we in Egypt?

Because we're north of the Kalahari. Pyramids. I get it. I was like, well, I don't know. So we meant. Okay. I get it. Oh, so I don't get it.

The joke's too dumb. It's actually below my... I only get a very sophisticated joke. So I didn't really get what you were doing there. I mean, I get it now. You have to lower your brain. I get it now, but it's still not that. Lower it onto the desk.

Funny. Hitting your head. Oh, I get it now. Lower it onto the desk, missionary star. There was one problem with being isolated, though. It meant that it was very difficult to get supplies either in or out. So in order to establish a mission statement, we're laughing at. In or out.

That jerk was over my head. I mean, this is coming from the serious member of the podcast. I'll talk of missionary. And then you say in and out. It was very good days. Did you write that for the lulls? And I also wrote this. There was one problem with being that isolated there.

It was very difficult to have sex with the supplies. You couldn't get them in or out of their butts. Yeah, I draw weird lines. You really turn on me there. In order to properly establish a missionary station or a mission station, I'm just saying missionary so much, I can't get out of it. A mission station at Linyanti. Livingston quickly realized he would need to find a supply route from either the East Coast.

A route. root means bang for anyone overseas. It means bang. Bang's the way, that's the way you translate it. Every country's got a bang. Root means bone. Sorry, sorry. Everyone's got a bone.

Who needed to find a supply bone, that made me laugh, supply route from either the East Coast or the West Coast that would be accessible all year round. And this is how a legendary explorer, was born. Someone was born that day? Who was it?

David Levingston. Never heard of him. You presume. By the summer of 1842, he had already gone farther north than any other European in... Father North? Is that what he called his father-in-law? The answer he called him to Farley Christmas. Father North.

By the summer of 1842, he'd already gone farther north than any other European in the difficult Kalahari Desert, which is pretty impressive already. So as a missionary, he didn't even mean to be explored at this time. And he's already gone somewhere where no Europeans ever gone before. He had familiarized himself with the local languages and the cultures. This would set him apart from others and also aid his exploration as he was able to communicate with the locals. He was a gifted linguist. He was also a very brave man.

And this was on show when in 1844, he was mauled by a lion when trying to defend a local village's livestock. What? I know. He was mauled by a lion. Yeah. His left arm was severely injured. he could never again support the barrel of a gun steadily with his left hand, and thus was obliged to fire from his left shoulder and take aim with his left eye.

That is tragic. It's a common side effect from a line attack. Losing some of the function in your left hand is my personal nightmare. Honestly, if that happened to you, Jess, you'd be stuffed. I'd be completely stuffed. How would you fire a gun? I don't know, David. I don't want to think about that.

That is a true living nightmare. That is an absolute tragedy. I imagine that if I hear mauled by a lion, I think... Game over. Yeah, I think game over for shooting with your right eye. Minimum. No, I think, yeah, you're probably dead. It's a one eye minimum.

I mean, I don't understand how either he didn't get very mauled at all. I'm going to bit mould. How do you get a bit mauled? The lion got bored. Right. Maybe it wasn't a... Yeah, it was just a playful line. Well, what I haven't said it was actually a lion cub,

and he easily beat it to death with his own fists. Right. Well, that does. I mean, I would have left that in. Is that true? That is absolutely untrue. It was a fully grown lion, and somehow he fought it off, probably shot it. Just do what Mick Fanning did and just punch it in the mouth and the nose.

Remember when Mick Fanning was surfing and the lion was swimming around him? Yeah. That was impressive. And we all felt sorry for Mick. I remember that episode of The Simpsons where it was like, like the, I was going to say Rodney Dangerfield, but what's the jumping? Mr. Burns's son. No, yeah, but the Axel Evil, evil kind of character was going to jump over the,

and they got, it's infested with sharks. Is it Lance Murdoch? Lance Murdoch was jumping over the pool. Yeah, he's got all electric geeks and electric eels and a real life lion. They push a lion in and just get savaged. I think the lines are just swimming in a whirlpool sort of Anyway, it was a very funny, very old Simpsons reference that I just enjoyed And now you too can

We also love that Troy McClure educational video about the food chain And it's a gorilla reaching for a bunch of bananas And it falls and the shark just comes up and eats a gorilla Oh, good times Jess, what's your favourite memory of the Simpsons? That's just nature That's just nature, Dave. I love nature.

So he survived a lion attack. He's a great man. He's a tough man. Give him that, Jess. Stop trying to convince me. I already think he's amazing. Right. It's in January 1845, after surviving the lion attack,

this is when he marries Mary Moffat. Because he's got a new perspective now. He marries Mary Moffat. Yeah. You know, once you've survived a lion attack, it gives you a whole new perspective. And you're just like, you know what? Life's short.

I'm going to grab. the lion by the testes. Figuratively. This is how he survived the attack. Straight for the testes. Mary Moffat. Mary, Mary Moffat. She accompanied him on many of his early journeys.

They had four children together and when they started to grow up, it was decided that Mary and the children would return to England for safety and to go to school. Sure, okay. It's a good thing that he found a passion for exploring because, from all accounts, Dave was not a great missionary. In fact, despite the decades that he spent in Africa, he only ever converted one man to Christianity. And that was accidental.

That was confusion. Language barrier. He thought he was buying a happy meal. But he, no, he was converted to Christianity. And that man did a lot of good stuff. Well, he didn't do that. That man was Jesus Christ. He converted Jesus.

Well, he didn't do a lot of great stuff because in 1849, after two years of patient persuasion, this is how long it took him to convince one dude. Two years, he converted Chief Sasheli, who was very dubious after only having one wife as opposed to the many that he was used to in his culture. He didn't really understand why he would choose to do that. But he went along with it for a few months,

and then he lapsed and went back to his many, many wives. That's Christian. Been there, done that. So, um, many wives. And they have many, many wives. Have you had many, many wives? How many wives do you have, Matt? Well, I keep out living them, you know, over the centuries.

It's really sad to see them come and go. Are you some sort of vampire, is that where you're? I guess, so, I don't know. I haven't really figured out what I'm meant to be. Meant to be. I mean, what I am. Hmm. Hmm.

You is what you is. That was a confusing sentence. In the same year, 18, In 1749, Livingston was recognised with a medal from the British Royal Geographical Society, for being part of an expedition that led the men to be the first Europeans to see Lake Nagambi in northern Botswana. This was the beginning of his lifelong association with the society, which continued to encourage his ambitions as an explorer. Livingston's family, now back in Scotland, and he believed it was his mission to stay in Africa

to push Christianity, commerce and civilisation. the Trinity that he believed was destined to open up Africa, the frontiers of South Africa, and open up the heart of the continent, something that no European had yet done. I'm not sound like this guy's not that good. Just leave Africa alone, man. His big hope, I'll let you judge the man,

as we go through the rest of his life, but his big hope was to open up Africa for missionaries by mapping and navigating its rivers, which he thought might become highways into the interior. He's big into rivers and lakes, says we'll discover later. He's big into him. So he's thinking, you know, we've got it so good in Scotland with all our great stuff.

We want Africa to have such good things. Look at them. They don't even have any castles or locks or, you know, snow in the summer. Or iron brew. Or iron brew or kilts. Let's give them kilt. Give them kiltz. Number one.

Number two, iron brew. as jazz often says that. I've heard you say that a few times. Number two, iron brew. Nine two. All the time. Number three. Sounds like a horrible way to describe you number two.

Number three, call small people wee. Small anything wee. Yeah. Good point. Very good point. Not just people. That's a very good point. Small piece is a wee.

Wee cup of tea. Weak up a tea. That can get very confusing if they're not used to your culture. How so? I'm having a refreshing wee cup of tea. Yeah. Are you enjoying your wee cup of tea? What?

I brew it with my piss. I'm pretty sure that's what iron brew is. Interesting. The biggest selling drink. Different cultures are so interesting. Fascinating. When I stayed at a, the first place I stayed at in Scotland had, had complimentary iron brew in the fridge.

That's a complimentary. That's a complimentary. They treated it as like a form of orange juice, which I enjoy. The health drink of a, nation. And that's what they wanted Africa to be like. What is iron brew?

Have you never had iron brew? I don't think I have. It's that bright orange, like fizzy soft drink. Ah. Is it like Lukazade here? Yeah, it's something like Lukazade. To me it tastes, it's very, very sweet. It's kind of like a creamy soda taste.

Ah. But it's like more popular than Coca-Cola over there. Why is it called iron brew, though? IRN, B-R-U, Iron Brew. Yeah, that answers the question. Why is it called iron brew? Brew. I are N B-R-N-B-R-U.

Why is it called Coca-Cola? Did you just ask why is it called Coca-Cola? Because I did a whole fucking episode about that and you didn't even listen. That was a long time ago. Coke is for Gary Coke, who co-invented it with Gary Kohler. And of course, Gary A played a little role, so he got squeezed in between. Thank you. That is...

I'm glad someone was listening. Jess. Sorry. Go back and listen. All right. It may have been when you're, no, you're not ranting about Bindi, but you probably brought her up that episode. Brought her up.

Anyway, back to David Livingston. He wants to open up the interior of South Africa or Southern Africa to give him iron brewing. And he famously said of his mission, I shall open up a path into the interior or perish. Oh, wow. Perish. Perish. He probably spoke like that, like Sean Connery.

The qualities and approaches which gave Livingston an advantage as an explorer was that he usually traveled lightly and he had an ability to reassure chiefs that he was not a threat. This was in stark comparison to many other expeditions of the time which had dozens of armed soldiers and hired help carrying supplies. These expeditions often scared locals

and were mistaken as military incursions or slave raiding parties so they weren't welcome with open arms. But David, because he was able to talk to them and explain who he was. He could also show that I can't even shoot with my left eye. Check this out. Don't worry about it.

Harmless. I'm not a threat. I fought a lion. I kind of won. Well, I mean you're alive. Is that what the winning is? Yeah. I reckon.

Remaining alive. Yep. I'm going to call that a win. The meaning of life is to remain alive. Yeah. That's why Hillary Clinton won the US election this year. In a way. In a way.

She bloody lived through it. She's still alive, did she? Yeah. Yes. At the time of recording. Donald Trump also won. He's remained alive too. So I'm also at the time of recording.

Livingston had a much simpler approach to travel and only had a few servants and bartered and collected his supplies along the way. I say servants, he's paying these people. He is paying these people. He's very anti-slavery, which we'll get to. He preached a Christian message but did not force it on unwilling ears. He understood the ways of local chiefs and successfully negotiated passage through their territory and was often hospitably received and aided.

In November 1853, Livingston set out. north westward with little equipment and only a small party of Africans to travel with him. You're laughing at the image of a party. Yeah. You just get me. That's a small party. Yeah, it just drinks. Kind of pre-drinks.

Small party, that's what you tell your mum. It's a gathering. I wouldn't even call it a party. It's a gathering. Suddenly 200 people rock up and they're kicking holes in your mum's bedroom wall. Dave? Did this happen? Oh, no.

David. Mom. There's no way 200 people would. have turned up to your party. No way, you knew 200 people. There's no way, I don't reckon you could have got 20. Once when I was... That is fucking...

True. Okay. I was very popular thing you, remember. Were you popular? He was in a band with seven other people, a Scar band. Yeah, okay, so you invite the band and you're halfway there. And all their groupies. Then they bring a friend each.

They're not there for you, Dave. They're not fucking there for me. No, they're not. Oh, my watch. Anyway, so he set out northwest Little equipment His hope was to find a route to the Atlantic coast On the west of Africa

We're all looking for a bloody road by So he wanted to get to the ocean In the west of Africa He hoped that this could open up Africa To commercial activities that would undercut the slave trading That was still rampant during this time period So slavery is illegal in England But people are still

Especially Arabic slave trade are raiding Africa and enslaving people selling them. So it's a horrible time for Africans. His hope that he could create new commercial activity that would be more valuable than selling slaves, so people stop selling slaves. Right. He also hoped to find a way to safely reach the McCullough people

who we hoped would be good for missionary work. And by that, you mean normal work? Yeah, normal work. Are we talking sex work? He was hoping that he could preach the good word of God to them and that they'd become Christian. Yeah, okay. It's quite confusing with the two meanings of missionary there, isn't it? It's very difficult.

All right, unless I wink, it's the non-sex one. Okay. That is a good system. Oh, he's winking. Oh, no, I'm in a permanent wink. Is that how you winked, Dave? I'm a terrible winker. I'm sure this has come up before. No, no?

Yeah, so that's a very weak. Matt, give us a wink. I mean, I hated it, but it was very good. You asked for it. I did. Dave trying to, oh, you're so, you're not subtle at all. Oh, you just look like you're having some sort of spasm. It's bad.

I don't control my eyes, but I don't sleep with my eyes shut. There's something wrong. Okay. Call the police. I can't control my eyes. After six months of grueling travel, Livingston reached Luanda, which is now the capital of Angola, in May 1834. I calculated his journey on Google Maps, and he had traveled over 2,000,

kilometers or 1,200 miles. This is through uncharted territory, through the desert, through the rainforest, through water. It was grueling. He needed time to recuperate because it was so bad for his body. But after three months, he started his return trip, which on the way back took almost 12 months, so twice as long. But that wasn't enough for him.

And he continued westward. And on May 2018, 56, he reached a place in Mozambique on the Indian an ocean, meaning he was one of the first Westerners to travel from one side of Africa all the way to the other. So he's ticking off stuff left right and center. What's your chicken? Achievements.

Fuck yeah. It's amazing. But one of his most famous personal discoveries was made on the last, and I say personal discovery because all these things were obviously discovered by he discovered within himself. Yep. The ability to

yodel. Wow, you don't. Give us an example. The man of the. thousand noises. Noise 189, yodeling. That was like Johnny Cash yodeling.

That was awesome. That was amazing. Picture Johnny Cash yodling. What's the word that comes to mind? Awesome. Agreed. Drunk? Is he okay?

Is he hitting the gear again? Probably. Anyway, one of his most famous personal discoveries because... The other one. Yeah. And I say personal discovery because all these things had been discovered by the first peoples, the African people, a long time beforehand. Jess is jiggling. She's jiggling. There was no wink, so it wasn't weird jiggling.

It's just laughter at Matsio to win. I mean, the wink system is going to be very difficult for those at home. They'll know. They'll just know. You can hear it in the voice. You hear that. Oh, you probably did. I spoke gross them.

Do you hear that? Yeah, she's winking. We've made it worse somehow. For the third time, one of his most famous personal discoveries was made on the last lick of his journey when he saw what the locals called Mindfulness Meditation. And the thing about mindful meditation is it's about

Practicing every day. Three minutes. It's all you need. And he saw this. He discovered it. Personally. All right. Lucky number four.

Wow. That's big though. Mindfulness and yodeling. And that was all in the same period? Well, for the Holy Trinity, this is the third discovery. This is a bit more tangible. Tangible. Oh, that's interesting.

More tangible than a yodel or mindfulness? What's more tangible than me? Mindfulness. You're all the little like, he-hoo! I would have thought mindfulness is tangibility personified in a human form somehow. He saw what the locals called, in their own languages, the smoke that thunders. That's mindfulness. Was it a cloud?

He discovered a cloud. Smoke that thunders. Yeah, that's a cloud. It's a cloud. It comes from a cloud. It's more poetic in their language. He sailed down. the Zambezi River and could see and hear the smoke and thunder from miles away.

You could see columns of spray rising to the sky and he was the first European person to see what is now world famous Victoria Falls. Oh. But he named after Queen Victoria. He named it. He named it the Victoria Falls. That's cool. Yeah, this is a very important man.

Livingston's men sailed his canoe to one of the small islands right up to the lip of the falls. I knew Jess was going to laugh at that. Oh, the lip. Dave, you did wink. What did you expect? It seemed as if they were going to go right over the edge. Levington felt distinctly uneasy, but recorded in his journal that, quote, I said nothing, believing I could face a difficulty as well as my guides.

Pretty much, he trusted them. Luckily, he didn't go over the edge of Victoria Falls, but he did lie on his stomach and he stared into the abyss that is the falls. And they are for scale for overseas people. twice the size of Niagara Falls. Whoa. I've never seen Niagara Falls, but I assume they're big. But he's been to a pub just around the corner from it.

Yeah. So the Niagara Falls play the... I've been to the Niagara Falls Inn. Sure. Just didn't look out the window. Which overlooks the falls themselves. Why would I? Why would you?

I had a beautiful beer on tap. Yeah. A beautiful range of beers. Craft beers. Yeah, the only fall I want to see is that beer falling into my mouth. You know what I mean? Ah, so you drink from my height. Yeah, laybacks.

I only drinking laybacks on a banana lounge. I mean, you haven't seen me drink? No, that's living. That is living. You've poured it into my face a few times. Yeah, but I'd had so many banana lans myself, I can't remember. Yeah, very cool. He cut his initials and the date in the bark of a tree on the island.

He later described this as the only time I have been guilty of this act of It's fine. He described Victoria Falls in his 1858 book. No one can imagine the beauty of the view from anything witnessed in England. It had never been seen before by European eyes. But seen so lovely must have been gazed upon by angels in their flight. All right, mate. Calm you farm.

It's a waterfall. It's literally water falling. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. I mean, sure, it's beautiful. It's gorgeous. Sure, it's maybe the most beautiful thing you'll ever see. Sure, it seems heavenly.

Sure, angels would gaze at it. But come on. It's legit one of my dreams to go there. We'll wake up, mate. Wake up to yourself. I don't want to wake up. How am I going to fucking dream if I go there? Good point.

Thank you. David returned to England on December 9, 1856, and now he was a national hero. News about him during the previous three years had stirred the imagination of English-speaking people everywhere to an unprecedented degree. He recounted his explorations in the book, Missionary Travels and Researchers in South Africa, subtitled, getting around fucking.

It was published in 1857. Normal fucking. It had two subtitles. It was published in 1857 and sold 70,000 copies. At the time, this was a huge hit. His family had been living in poverty while he was away, and this sudden increase in wealth meant that he could now adequately provide for them. So things are looking up.

So he was galavanning around the world with a couple of servants or back home his family were living in poverty. This is your hero, Dave. He was spreading the word of God. Dear God's my hero. It's just me holding copies of his journal. Yeah. And hugging him.

Is that why you named yourself David? Yeah. I got to name myself. Cool. Until the age of four, I was... Jethro. Jethro Warnakey. It was a great man.

You fucked up. You fucked up. It's good stuff. After touring Britain for six months for speaking engagements, which made him even more money, Livingston eyed off his next adventure. He was encouraged by the response in Britain to his discoveries, and he now had monetary support for future expeditions flowing in.

As a result, he resigned from the London Missionary Society in 1857 and dedicated his life to doggy style. I mean exploration. Yeah, doggy style is pretty. Exciting. Explorative. Whoa. Imagine.

They're only four, only very out there people do that one. I'm not allowed to imagine. Oh, I don't want to. I'm getting an all clammy hand just thinking about it. Oh, no thank you. The British government and the Royal Geographical Society agreed to fund Livingston's next adventure and he became leader of the second Zambizi expedition. Zambesi is the river that flows into Victoria Falls

and the aim of the mission was to navigate the Zambizi from the coast upstream back down to the falls and examine the natural resources of south-eastern Africa and open up the river. The second Zambizi? So the first one didn't go well. You should call them two bezies. I've been thinking that the whole time I didn't listen to the rest of the sentence. Did they call them two bezies, Dave? They didn't, but they've regretted that for the rest of their lives.

Two bezies. And then their little on their flag said too easy. Too bezy, too easy. It's good stuff. The British government wanted to ascertain the economic potential of the area and suss out the possibility of establishing an English colony in Central Africa. This time the expedition was infinitely better organized than Livingston's previous almost solo journeys.

It had a paddle steamer. Impressive supplies. Ten African men, six European men, including his brother Charles and an Edinburgh doctor, John Kirk, to aid him. I wonder if he's from Falkirk. Dr. John Falkirk. But it didn't go so well and it turned out that Livingston wasn't that great of a leader.

Oh. He was probably better suited going solo and make him. it up as he went along. Quarrels broke out amongst his party. Some men went home, some got sick, some died, and it proved impossible to navigate the Zambizi by ship. Although all of his earlier success had resulted from listening to local knowledge of the people he encountered, he chose to blindly ignore all those who told him that he couldn't pass an area known as the Cabora Bassar Rapids. So basically, these Cabora Pass, it's these rapids that you can't get a ship up. And he tries anyway and it sort of fucks up the ship and they keep trying and keep trying.

You can't get a ship up or ship out. Well, that's what he kept saying. I can't get a ship up or a ship out. The expedition was predicted to take about two years, but it ended up taking over six. Oh no. Most of that time was spent along the final 250 miles of the Zambezi. Livingston refused to give up and the journey was extremely expensive. So they just kept throwing money out and it just was not helping.

Oh, no. Money helps every problem though. Well, my monoh. Dr. John Kirk, the expedition's medical officer and botness, wrote of Livingston in his diary, which I love when people have diaries that bag out their leader. Like, what if they read it? He wrote, I can come to no other conclusion that Dr. L. Livingston is out of his mind. His head is not of the ordinary construction, but what is termed cracked.

Oh, wow. What do hell. That's a solid burn. That is rock solid. Cracked him. David's wife, Mary, was determined to join him back in Africa, but sadly, she caught malaria on the Zambizi River and she died. Oh, no. That his elder son, Robert, who was also supposed to join his father in 1863, never reached him and went instead to the United States where he died fighting for the North in the Civil War December 1864.

So it's not been a good year. No, I wouldn't say that. So if I say 1864, don't say a good year. Okay. 1864. I'll remember that. Out of respect. Lock it off. We're retiring that number.

The expedition did lead them to be the first Europeans to find Lake Malawi, also known as Lake Nyasa, which is the ninth largest lake in the world, which is home to more species of fish than any other lake. That's pretty cool. Burdus on fact, 700 species of fish. I love a sneaky fun fact in their days. That's a lot of species of fish.

Yeah, and a lot of them are only found there. Great. And I hope it's not one of those bullshit. ones where it's like we've got the pink blue jeta eel. Oh right. They're like slightly different. Pink aqua jeta eel. And we got the male pink blue

aqua jitter eel. Thanks to going on with the jitter ear like that. Could be a thing. I hope it is. Fuck I hope it's so bad. Never hope some of it's real so bad. What? A eels types of fish.

Imagine. They were that. That'd be fucking sick. This lake is home to over seven. 700 species of eel. That'd be a real fuck like. What a nightmare. Speaking of a nightmare, I don't want to bring it down here, but I will.

Levies and also discovered that the area who was exploring had been rocked in the bad sense. I thought you two had traveled through. I was going to say Robbie Williams. Both extremely cool current references. Yeah, we're pretty cool. Any 15-year-olds listening? Yes, we are cool. Dave, how dare you?

I guess what you're saying? saying there is somehow that you two and Robbie Williams aren't cool current references. If you listen back, I was saying that they are cool current references. Cool, we're all on the same page. We are very cool. God, we're so sympathico. Now, let me entertain you with the rest of this report. Let's get a little elevation.

Thank you. I've loved that reference. In this report, love has no name. Is that song where love has no name? The streets. Well, this street, fuck, can't come back. I'm so sorry. I'll probably just edit it back

and I'll be just the Robin Williams reference Robbie Williams. I'm so cool. You are digging so much deeper. Just get on with the report. All right. Now this report has a bit of a rude box coming up. Obscure Robbie Williams song that did not do well.

From his album also called Rood books. Listen to it. You'll love it. You know, Paul McCartney had an album called, I saw Paul McCartney last night. You know, we had an album called Kisses on the bottom. No. An album.

Did you play the whole out? And now, time to play. Kisses on the bottom. Cover to cover. He played a track off it. He didn't mention the name. I think it copped a lot of like at the time. It was mainly a covers album and it was from a Fats Waller song, lyric, the first track on the album.

Which is fine that it's got a reason. But still, why are you choosing that lyric? Kisses on the bottom. Everything about that is so cool. Sexy. Sexy. All right, back to the rocking. And the area had been rocked by human slavery.

Dead bloated bodies floated downstream and became entangled in the pedal wheels or the paddle stick. And one week he counted 19. Why did you let us talk about Robbie Williams so long? Well, I can't cut you off and be like, look, guys, it's not the time to talk about our idol, Robbie Williams. His expedition travelled on the shore until they found burned villages littered with skeletons and decimated starving people and they refused to go any further. This was Livingston's first contact with large-scale human slavery

and it was to set the course for the rest of his life. So it really upset him. The British government recalled the very expensive mission in 1863. Livingston, however, didn't immediately return home. He instead took his small vessel, the Lady Nyassa, with a small untrained crew and little fuel on a hazardous journey of 2,500 miles or 4,000 kilometers across the Indian Ocean and left it for sale in Bombay in India. It's just a little side mission.

He can't be tamed. Lady Nyasa. It's a good name. If there's anybody out there who is currently doing a bit of a fixer up project on a boat and you can't quite think of a name, feel free. Oh, okay, I was going to go to Lady Jess, Lady Jessica. That's good. The lady Jessica's nice.

Thank you. I mean, it doesn't in any way describe you, but... I just like it... Routal. I like it just... I like non-humans having human names. Oh, I love like, yeah. Like Gary, Indiana.

A place. Sure, okay. Or a dog called Greg. Seymour. Or see more. Or a boat called Jess Perkins. Yeah, it's good stuff. All aboard the Jess Perkins.

Perkins. Boop, boom. It's got a real cackling horn. Oh, no. That was my attempt at it. That's not what I sound like at all. Really? 130 episodes.

You don't sound like... You think I sound like... You think that's why I sound like. You just, I mean, you just sounded like that. Come on, man. Livingston faced a lot of criticism in the papers when you returned home, mainly because he'd promised a lot from his journey and many viewed it as a big failure. Which in the short term, with the goals he had set, maybe it was,

but in the long term, he had amassed lots of data about a previously unmapped area. His expedition paved the way for the creation of the British Central Africa protectorate three decades later. So it did have its advantages and disadvantages. I feel so dubious about a British guy coming into Africa and going, I'm going to fix everything. But you're telling me this guy's a good guy? Yes. Mainly because of the anti-slavery stuff.

And Dave named himself after him. Oh, that's true. But, I mean, you know, Dave is very vain. So. Is it vain to name yourself up to someone else? It's very vain. I suppose if you think he's a good person. Back in Britain in the summer of 1864,

Livingston with his brother Charles wrote his second book, narrative of an expedition to the Zambizier and its tributaries. Too long. Too long. Yeah. Call it Harry Potter. That's smart. And the goblet of Ascaband or whatever.

Livingston was advised at this time to have a surgical operation for the haemorrhoids that have travelled him since his first great African journey. He refused and it's probable that severe bleeding hemorrhoids were the cause of his death at the end of his third and greatest African journey, which is brutal to imagine. So he bled out of his, he bled to death out of his... Possibly. Hemorrhoids are like big balls of blood in your butt. Is that right? Oh. Is it like that?

No. I'm 100% across. It's something horrible to do with your butt. That's all I know. That's all I want to know. Which brings us to our... Buts are only for kisses on the bottom. Kisses on the bottom, Paul.

Oh, that was like the poor McCarney thing. This brings us to the part of the topic that James Toy really wanted me to focus on, which is the quest for the Nile. Livingston returned to Africa for the final time in 1866. This time his mission, was threefold. One, as usual, spread the Christian gospel. Two, abolish slavery in East Africa.

And three, find the source of the Nile River. Okay, so just a small plan. Yes. Just a nice, easy, achievable plan. An easy, an easy one, two, three. Easy as ABC. So basically, at this time, the Nile River is this amazingly long river in Africa, which I'm sure we all know.

At this time. Now, it's a name of a shoelace company. Is that true, Nile Shulet? Yes. Yes. Okay, let's go around and list our favorite shoelace companies. What the hell are you talking about?

My favorite. They're the best. Yeah, it's mine too. I'll be surprised if you name anyone else, Dave. I'm sorry. That one does it better. Vaughn boots for eight years and I just can't remember the last time we're tied shoes.

Anyway, I digress. So basically at this time, the Nile River, and it still is, but it's a really long river. Really? People debate whether the Amazon or it is longer, but anyway, it's one of the longest two rivers in the world. What does that debate go? That feels like something should be...

Oh, because people are, you about what you can count as part of the river because there's offshoots and all that kind of stuff. But at this time, no one knows where the Nile is coming from. They're just at the bottom part of it. So they just want to find out where it's coming from? That's a good point. I've never looked at a river and thought,

where do you come from? What's the mouth? I just accept it. There's a river. Gosh, that's the difference between you and David. Yeah, you're right. But you've got much better mindfulness than him. Oh, yeah.

My mindfulness is off. Chops. At this time Livingston went without European subordinates. and took only African and Asian followers. He thought that was the problem last time. But again, trouble broke out amongst his crew and he found it difficult to cope. Originally, he planned to avoid what was at the time

Portuguese territories. However, he went through them and to avoid punishment had to spread rumors that he was dead. He faked his own death. Although it was proved the following year that he was still alive. A touch of drama was added to the report circulating back home about his expedition.

So he told them he was dead and then that got back to England. England and Scotland and people are like, oh, he's fucking dead. I mean, he's got kids back in England. That's mean. Whoops. One of the most remarkable things about Davey Livingston was his physical constitution as a man or as a person. This is a time before cures for malaria and people, especially Westerners, are dropping and

dying left right and centre from it. He did get sick a lot. Some put his malaria count as getting the potentially deadly disease 30 separate times. How? Mosquitoes. Ah. But of course. But um...

Butterflies. And despite this, and the fact that he thrashed his body across terrains and deserts that many thought impossible, he lived to be a respectable age for a healthy Victorian of the time, which is pretty impressive. Yeah, wow. Maybe because he was a doctor and he knew how to care for himself a bit better than others, but still... Mindfulness.

Mindfulness. Keep forgetting the Holy Trinity. Keep forgetting it. Never forget. It takes a little bit of time out of your day for you. And yodel. And yodel. He was ill during his final journey, but still managed to make it farther west than any European before him.

So another record. And he was the first white man to reach a number of lakes, many more lakes. He had dysentery, pneumonia. Dysentery is a bad one. Oh, yeah. It's like diarrhea. Lots of shit. That was on the shackled in it.

episode, I think. They're all... Yeah, it's also very contagious too. So one person, you... You've all got dysentery now. So dysentery, pneumonia, and developed tropical ulcers on his feet that made it almost impossible to move.

And he had to rest for three months. They're tropical. That's fun. Three months. Smell like pinocaladas. Your feet smell like pinocalada. Oh, something? Yeah.

That's a little silalani. You just put your feet up on an Ottoman Empire. and they sound like you can just hear kettle drums. Wow. That's great. No wonder he put his feet up. Yeah, he would do, wouldn't you? It's strange that he thought he was going insane at the time.

Yeah. Put your feet up, you could see kettle drums. They're a fun instrument. He was the first white man that the locals in this part of Africa had ever seen and he reportedly had to eat his meals in a roped off area to quell their curiosity. They kept coming up to him and wanting to see him. Like a velvet rope? He's like a celebrity.

He's like a celebrity. It's also what I imagine. He's in a VIP area. Please, no photos. That's awesome. I'm trying to eat. And they're like, your feet smell divine. What is that music?

What are those kettles? It's amazing. An event that scarred for the last few years of his life occurred on 15th, on the 15th of July 1871, when he witnessed around 400 Africans being massacred by slave traders on the banks of the Bualaba River. Many women and children were also killed. This massacre horrified Livingston, leaving him too shattered to continue his mission

to find the source of the Nile for many months. We had to have another break. Put his feet up for a bit. Really affected him psychologically. Livingston completely lost contact with the outside world for six years, and he was ill for most of the last four years of his life. So he was sending letters, but only one of his 44 letter dispatches made it to Zanzibar.

So there was much speculation, particularly back in Britain, that he was dead. So Welsh-born American journalist and explorer Henry Morton Stanley had been sent to Find Livingston by the New York Herald newspaper in 1869. Stanley, I'm sending out a mission, see? It could be. No, please.

Give me more. Give me more. I want more. Nah. But is it going to be dangerous, boss? I'm not a puppet, David. I'm not going to just try and be funny on your podcast. On a whim, David.

That was funny how he called him David. Do you call him David? Real fun. After eight months of searching, Henry Morton Stanley, found Livingston in the town of Ujiji in western Tanzania on the shores of Lake Tanganyika on the 10th of November 1871. One of Livingston's servants, Susie came running at the top speed of 42 kilometers an hour.

He was running at six knots. I'll try again for everyone at home. One of Livingson's servant, Susie, came running at the top of his speed and gasped out, an Englishman! What? An Englishman! I see him. And then they darted off to meet him.

The American flag at the head of the caravan told of the nationality of the stranger. Stanley greeted him with a now extremely famous line, Hey, matey, how do you bloody do there? Dr. Livingston, I presume. That's a real thing. That's true. Livingston responded, yes, which is an incredibly proper English line. Yes.

Yes. We, we. No, like, Dr. Livingston, I presume. So you've been searching with this guy that many people think is dead throughout, like, the middle of fucking nowhere for eight months. And you're still so proper that you go, Dr. Livingston, I presume. Don't you reckon he what he said was, holy fuck. Is this for real? Is it really you, Dr. Livingston?

Hey, and when you document this moment, can you make me sound real cool? He's had a long time to think about what he's going. Also, it's a bit like the Neil Armstrong on the moon. Yeah. So it's an amazing line. It's going down in history as a very famous quote. People debate about whether it actually happened. We just did it then.

You just saw that happen right in front of the world. Many people. Many people. Okay. I'm not many people over then. Stanley brought much needed food and medicine and Livingston soon recovered. He joined Stanley in exploring the northern reaches of the lake, Lake Tanganyika, and then accompanied him 200 miles eastward.

Now they're just on an adventure together. It's like a little montage in the movie. It's beautiful. It's a beautiful, beautiful time. But he refused all of Stanley's pleas to leave Africa with him and come home. And on the 14th of March 1872, Stanley departed for England to report his fantastic story to the world. Wow. So he reported that he said Dr. Livingston, I appreciate.

Yes. Hmm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. SAS twins disagree. There weren't many other journalists to, um, um, um, confirm or deny the moment. Well, there's nobody else there.

I don't believe a thing Stanley says from now on. Stanley sounds like, I bet you he didn't exist. Yeah, Stanley's a figment of... He's made himself up. Yeah. What a real piece of work. It's the editor making him up. I always wanted to get into her children's book, she?

She's making up stories. What a weird way to get in. Yeah. Children's books via. Making shit up. Actually, that's probably the way. They invented media ethics after this event. Right.

It was a different time. Dave wants to go on. Go on. The final part of the story is Livingston again moved south, still obsessed by his quest for the Nile and the source of this amazing river and his desire for the destruction of the slave trade. His belief was that if he could solve the age-old mystery of where the source of the Nile is, his fame would give him enough influence to end the East African Arab Swabreys. a healy slave trade.

Possibly misguided, possibly a little bit crazy, but that was his reasoning. A lot of confidence in himself there. But also in the fact that, yeah, what are, oh, now you know where a thing happens? Well, what do you want us to do with the walls and stuff? Finish him? Great. What else? I have heard it described as what the Victorians knew about Africa.

It's so fascinating to them because no one really knows what's going on in the middle of the continent. And Toto hasn't written that song yet. That's right. They know nothing of the reins. You're talking about Hold the line? Mm-hmm. Love isn't always on time.

Was that Toto? No, Toto. So it's Rosanna. Oh, yeah. I never knew that a girl like you would ever say something. Mozana. Oh, fuck. I don't know why I ever do that.

and then hope you added out. It probably... On finding the Lua Lava River, Livingston mistakenly concluded that it was the high part of the Nile River, which was wrong. But before he could find out, and that was his big theory, his big hunch, but before he could find it, if he was indeed right,

his illness finally overcame him. In May 1873, at Chitambo in what is now northern Zambia, Livingston's African servants found him dead, kneeling by his bedside as if he was in prayer. He was 60 years old. He did a lot in six years. Dave, this is going to annoy you guys potentially. But you know what else happened in 1873?

The St. Kilda Football Club was formed. Oh, wow. So maybe he died and came back reincarnated as the St. Kilda Football Club. Your beloved team. Imagine. Jess is trying hard to imagine. Look at her. She really, she can't.

She just can't do it. It doesn't have the brain power. at this time or not. Good save. So sadly he has passed on, but his body, in order to embalm it, they removed his heart. Oh, no, not embalming. Oh, they packed his ass. They removed his heart, and they buried them, buried it in African soil.

So his heart is literally still in Africa. Oh, that's kind of nice. In a difficult journey. Is that because of some sort of like a vampire scenario? I'm not sure what's going on there. Where you've got to bury parts from in different areas, otherwise they'll reform and go on a killing spree. It still could happen.

Imagine packing his ass because he died of hemorrhoids. If you haven't heard the burial cremation episode, that's going to sound insane. Imagine packing his hemorrhoid-filled ass. Anyway, Dave, do go on. No explanation necessary. You should really listen to that episode. If packing asses is your thing.

Is your thing. is your thing, you know, packing corpses asses, cadavers, or whatever you call. Cadarva. Cadarver. Goda, sir. They carried, this is a sign of respect of him. They, of the man, they carried his cadaver in a difficult journey that took nine months all the way to the coast. Oh, it'd be fucking horrible.

That's why they packed his ass real good. It was taken to England. and in a great Victorian funeral, he was buried in Westminster Abbey on the 18th of April 1874, obviously an extremely high honour. Yeah, that's amazing. You know, a lot of kings,

you know, most kings and queens are buried there. That's where the Poets Corner is or whatever. The Poet's Corner with Charles Dickens and all those kind of thing. So you can see David Living's body. Well, not his body. I don't want it. It didn't go well. The nine months, it didn't.

It doesn't look good. Yeah. And 150 years. How fast. The last journals of David Livingston were published in the same year. So his final book. He left behind a large legacy and is one of the giants of the Victorian era. In his three decades of travel, he didn't imagine he was a giant.

I was thinking of that as well. I was going to let, I'm like, he never, you just, I always pictured him to be average size. How do you think he went where no one went before? His step is about six times more than anywhere else. Gosh. God, these noises are good, aren't they? What number was that? That's 1773.

How many do I have? A thousand. 17-03. A thousand. Seven, 17. Fuck. We're nearly there, everyone. One thousand noises?

The amount of a thousand noises. I've undersold it. So he's a giant. Literally, figure, literally. Just go with that. In his three decades of travel, it is arguable that Livingston may well have influenced Western attitudes towards Africa more than any other individual before him. His discoveries, geographic, technical, medical and social are still being explored in

certain ways. Within 50 years of his death, for better or worse, colonial rule was established in Africa and white settlement was encouraged to extend further into the interior. However, what Livingston envisaged for colonies was not of, what we now know is colonial rule, but of settlements dedicated to Christian Europeans who would live among the people to help them work out ways of living that did not involve slavery. So he had probably better ideals than what ended up happening. And as a slavery, Livingston fought against it.

Although from time to time he did have to engage with Arab slave traders to get around, he didn't actually use slaves himself. He did bring attention to the ongoing slavery crisis in his letters, books and journals, and it stirred up public support for the final abolition of slavery. The British government put pressure on the Sultan of Zanzibar, and he closed the slave trade in 1873, just six weeks after Livingston died. This ended the legal trade in slaves on the east coast of Africa.

And because of this, out of the explorers of Africa, Livingston is still the most revered and still loved by locals in Africa. Many of the others have had their statues torn down and, like, history looks upon them very badly, but he is still widely celebrated across the continent. Awesome. Because of his advocacy of the slave trade. So bringing attention to it.

Right. His adventures did come at a cost though. His only regret was that he didn't spend more time with his family. He was married to his wife, Mary, for 17 years, but they only lived together for four of those years. And he didn't see much of his children grow up. That sounds bloody ideal to me, mate. Tell you what, you bloody, can't live with him.

Send him to England. as the saying goes. As that's famous African saying goes. Yeah. It's just there. I mean, every relationship's different. And Mary and David go by the four years on,

13 years off. Four years on than the last 13 off. Well, no, they didn't know it was going to be the last, did they, Dave? No, do it'll do another four.

Yeah, the next year was going to be in. Another four. That was why it was so heartbreaking. It was so close. But soothing Mary's broken heart was the fact that a young football club, the Stinkilda Saints, not yet known as the Saints, formed that year. But Jess said early in this, and I'm some reason committed to it out.

Anyway, she was already dead. Yes, she had died about 20 years earlier. Just let the better joke live unlike Mary. Well, in fairness, she'd be dead now anyway. So it's okay. In 2002, David Livingston was named among the 100 Greatest Britons following a UK-wide vote. That's cool. There you go.

Up there with Elton John. Yeah, probably. Robbie Williams. And it seems to me to live your life like a candle lit in the wind. Classic. Final two facts about him. A lot of stuff is named after David Livingston. Including.

He didn't name that much. himself, he would always often name things about his queen, between Victoria, such as Lake Victoria, Victoria Falls. But Blantire in Malawi is named after David Livingston's Scottish hometown. So... Blantire. You're definitely saying that wrong. How would you say that?

Well, I mean, I wouldn't. Look, I'm saying it how the people from Malawi say it. Right. I've looked up that. So you Scottish people can fuck off because I, I'm a man of Malawi. How do you, Dave? How do you, Dave?

You know, I've got a Scottish surname. Well, you know, I've got a Malawanese. I don't know how to say there. I really crumbled out there from underneath you. And finally, the city of Livingston in Zambia, which is right on the border of Zambia and Zimbabwe, where Victoria Falls is, is still named Livingston.

Oh, that's nice. You've got a whole city named after. The city Livingston is still named Livingston. That is fun. I didn't say it was fun fact. I think it's fun. I think that was fun fact. I did say it was fun.

I did say it. You've written it down. It said fun fact on your notes. Have you been reading along the whole time? The whole time. But that was the story of David Livingston. David Warnocky. Thank you.

That was. An excellent story. Thank you. Because in many ways, not a perfect man, but in many ways, a remarkable man. Thank you. You don't have to stand up. They didn't stand up.

Because we didn't have to, you said so. And thank you to James Roy for suggesting that as a topic. Thanks, James Roy. That was good. Jim, Jam, James Roy. Jim and Jam. What a fascinating life. It's amazing, isn't it really?

It kind of makes me want to get out there and do a bit more adventuring, but more travelling. But at the same time, if I did even a day of what he did, I'd die. So there's a lesson to be there. There is a lesson there. And I'm proud of you for learning that lesson. Now, of course, this episode and this show in general would not be possible without the great support of the people

who made us our parents. That's right. Let's hear it for John and Annie. Just as fun to pretend that Jess's parents are all our parents. Hey, in a way, they are. They certainly are. But this show is also not possible without the people that support the show through Patreon.

Patreon.com slash do go on pot. If you love the show and you think it's worth chucking in a buck or two or five or ten or 50 million a month, you can head over to patreon.com slash do go on. It supports the show. It makes you feel good, makes us feel great. And also, you get some rewards in exchange, including a shout out at the end of the episode, access to all, pre-sales to all out.

Tickets for live shows, bonus episodes once a month. Would you guys accept $50 million a month? Yes. Hmm. Me too. I would. I'd take it all the way to the bank. Wow.

That's awesome. Can someone please give us that? I'd go full time, I reckon. You'd give up any other work if you're making $50 million a month? Yeah, I reckon. I mean, after fees, it's only like $49.99 million a month. I'm just not sure I could give up my call center job. You're just attached.

That's just my main passion. Is you calling? Oh, fuck, that's good. Thank you. Well done. Hey, can I, can I start with the patrons? Yeah, we've got to thank a few people now. Now, what should we give to them?

Yeah, sometimes. The gift of life. All right. Okay, let's just say they were lost in the jungle for six years. Yeah. And you saw them. What would you say? Dr. Livingston, I presume.

Very good. Okay, great. Well, I would like to start off with someone from a beautiful area north of here. Koff's Harbor. The big banana. Big banana. I would like to thank. The big banana, I presume.

Okay. That's what Dave is going to say to Owen Ledner. Oh, the big banana I presume. Oh, that's good. And he says, yes. Yeah, cool. One more time with a beautiful name there. Owen Ledner.

Oh, that's good stuff. It's good, isn't it? Poetry. I like that. Okay, and the other person that we'd like to think as well is David James. That's my first two names. Are you going to thank me? Yes, I support the first one.

David James Gaskill. From Liverpool, Matthew. That's so good. The fifth. Betel I presume. Oh, very good. You are good at this. Good job, Dave, because sometimes you suck at this.

Look, you're setting him out for failure over the next four. I didn't mean to. But genuinely, great stuff so far, mate. Keep up the good work. Did I already say I saw Portman County last night? Yeah, he did. He did. He was so good, right?

And he's one of the Beatles, Dave. You presume? And he told so many good stories. He told us one story. He's like, so me and John, yeah, we're walking down the street, you know, This car comes by. And there's a couple guys in the car. We have a look and it's, you know, it's Keith Richards and Nick Jagger, you know,

and they go in the same way as us. So we get in the car, you know, and we go up to this pub, you know, whatever. And they're like, we're looking for a, you know, we want a single, you know. We're looking to record an album. And we go, we've got a song. And here it is. And anyway, this is the song that we played. It was their first hit.

And it was an album track for us. It's, I want to be a man. The whole night was just these six Just these six stories Name drops Well I mean it wasn't all No he was just fucking name dropping By the end he was just saying names

Rihanna I've met the queen He didn't have played the song he did with Rihanna But he didn't name dropper He didn't even mention her or Kanye I'm like I definitely would have gone Here's a song I made with Rihanna and Kanye Would you really think that he would mention those too

Out of all the actual cool people he's met Before cop that Kanye you prick I reckon before playing that song, I reckon before playing that song, definitely. It's a good tune. I like that song. I think I like it. I'm just, I'm still in that, I'm in that beetle bubble. I just had such a good time.

Get him out. There were fireworks during Live and Let Die. No. Live and let die. Yeah, that's sick. Did he do Blackbird? He did Blackbird. Oh, God, tears.

Tears. Blackbird, yeah, they were two of the big hearts. He played something as well. No. Sick. Yeah, it's like a tribute to George. So, yeah, fifth beetle, I presume. I really, I was, I think I flipped in a John.

Yeah, I was trying to do Paul, but I think I was doing more John. I read. I loved it. Could I thank, could I thank you go on? Oh, I'd love that. I'd love that. I love being reminded how rich they are. They do.

I really like the name Philip Boothby. Do you walk into your local cafe and say, I'm wealthy? Do you do that? It doesn't have to, because everyone who walks in that cafes. I am also wealthy. You have to declare of your poor because it's the only point of difference. Interesting. Do you think Philip Boothby would mind if I called him Philly Boo?

I love it. I love that too. Philly Boo, I presume. Who else? Who else we got? I'd also, this guy lives in maybe the coolest sounding non-Garry Indiana City in America. Let's start the list. Peachtland, North Carolina.

Quick fun fact, though. North Carolina is actually where Michael Jordan played high school college basketball, right? And he wore his college shorts the whole time through his NBA career underneath his Chicago Bulls shorts. That's a little fact I learned from a movie. called Space Jam. Bugs Bunny, I Proustoo. So Joshua Cabrera from Peachtland, North Carolina. Peachland.

Peachland. That is... It sounds like a Mario Brothers world. Yeah, Peachland. Is that real? Peachland. Love it. I'm going to have to...

It's probably Peachland. It would be Peachland as well. Sorry, Peachland. Peachland at and sea. Peachland. Peachland. It's like a shopping center in Melbourne. Peachland.

That's where we get all our peaches. Poachers. They just sell peaches. Well, where do you go to get your poachers? I got a pooch land. I got a pooch land. I got my pooch snaps there. Get my peach peaches.

I get my peach potatoes. Get my peach towel. Peach smelling shampoo. Peach towel. It's good stuff. No. So sorry to say that near your name. Joshua Cabrera.

I got two sick names out. Can I call? What did you guys think if he would mind if I called him Joshy Cab? Just try and stop you. He would mind, wouldn't he? Joshy Cab didn't work. Dr. Pete. Josh Cabby.

Just call him Josh. Josh. Right. Doesn't all have to be cute Josh. I'm just going to call you Josh, Matt. All right, I got a couple here. And I'm going to give one to Jess and one to Matt for the pros. No, I don't want to do it.

I want you to do it. Just go real quick. No, because that's how you were Daesh that time. And we still talk about it today. I've never let that go. Just can't. Daj. Wow, it's good stuff.

Good stuff. All right. I'll let Matt go first. Matt, I would like to thank. Don't make me go. From Balkham Hills in New South Wales. Alex Adair. Thank you.

Alex Adair. Fred Astaire. I presume? No. Yeah, no. Jess was right. We're not good at this. Dave.

What would you say? there. Bulking up for stereo, I presume. Vulcan Hills. Bulkham Hills. Stereo is a big festival. God, he's good. Where people get really reided up.

All right, come on, Dave. Go six for six. Right, finally. Is that math right? Yes. I've left this for last because this man is from Glasgow. So I'd like to apologise for all the Scottish mistakes. And calling them fucks or something earlier?

I love you all. genuinely one of the most beautiful places I've ever been in Scotland. But from Glasgow, which, remember, is very close to where David Livingston was born. And also Birkenhaired from around there? Well, they were Irish born, but then they moved Edinburgh, that's right. Which is not that far. It's a short train, took that ride. To the pub.

I would like to thank, Danny Murray. You've got something here, don't you? I don't have anything here. I do, you son of a bitch. Look at that little smirk on his face. He's fucking got something. He was searching for the source of the Murray River, I pursue. Murray River is a big river in us.

One of our big rivers, mate. God, he's good. Well done, Dave. Thank you so much. And thank you to Danny Murray. And to everyone that supports the show at patreon.com, genuinely makes a big difference in our lives. Huge.

And in the production of the show, so we appreciate that. And it is that special time of year. We've already had our Kishmish special earlier in the month. But it is coming up to this Monday. So if you do celebrate Kishmish or anything around the festive season, we'd like to wish you a beautiful, beautiful time. Beautiful time. A beautiful time.

If you eat too much. And families, have it with families. I can spend it with multiple families, I suppose. That's what I have a recommendation. This is our second last episode for the year. But don't mind, we're not going to be taking any time off, so that's cool. There will be a Christmas-related bonus episode for the Patreon listeners coming out probably now-ish as well. Or before.

It's probably already out, actually. Oh, that's very, very nice. We haven't recorded it yet now. Go check your Christmas stockings. It won't be in there. That's impossible. It'll be on the internet, in the usual place. Yeah, that's right.

That's absolutely right. But yes, we hope you have a beautiful and safe time. We always love getting your last year I got a lot of tweets aimed at me over. Christmas because I was going to have salmon and salad for my Christmas lunch. And people from all over the world sent me a photo of their, they were having Mexican burritos and all, and like roast in England, all this kind of stuff. So it was really fun. So if you want to send us photos of your all Christmas lunch again, I really enjoyed it.

So please do it again. That's awesome. Someone sent us a video of them throwing their Christmas tree out the front door, as I like to do traditionally. That was actually so fun. Love Christmas so much until Boxing Day, then it can fuck off. Get it out of my house. A couple of our little traditions here at Duke of off.

Hey, you have your own. Make your own. Make your own. But thanks so much, guys. Have a merry creesh, meesh. And we'll see you next week. Or you'll hear from us next week. Bye.

Later. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want. It's up to you. Love isn't always on time. Oh, God.

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