Do Go On - 123 - The Gun Powder Plot

Episode Date: February 28, 2018

Dave reports on what was possibly the most braizen assassination attempt of all time. Robert Catesby, Guy Fawkes and a rag tag of their Catholic pals plot to blow up the King and the whole of the British parliament in fell swoop. Can they pull it off? Or is there another reason we must "Remember, remember the fifth of November"? - Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod- Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: http://bit.ly/DoGoOnHat Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:http://www.history.com/topics/gunpowder-plothttp://www.bbc.co.uk/timelines/z3hq7tyhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/history/british/civil_war_revolution/gunpowder_robinson_01.shtmlhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gunpowder_Plot#Plothttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StwIeUnz0FQhttp://www.history.com/topics/reformationhttp://www.dw.com/en/the-main-differences-between-catholics-and-protestants/a-37888597http://www.britannia.com/history/r-catesby.htmlhttps://www.britannica.com/biography/Guy-Fawkeshttp://www.patheos.com/blogs/naturalwonderers/catholics-protestants/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. Hi, I am Kendra Adachi, and I host the Lazy Genius Podcast.

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This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go. My name is Dave Warnocky and I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. He looked at the wrong person at the wrong time. Because I don't even care who you are. That was a joke just for us. Yeah, but Matt shared it with everyone.

I loved to share. Matt loves to get everyone involved. Yeah. Do that one of our live shows, point to the wrong person. Point to someone in the front row. Jess that one of our live shows, point to the wrong person. That would be fun. Point to someone in the front row. Jess Perkins, and they're like, me?

I'm Jess, all right. And then they feel very sad, because I realize they're Jess. And you feel really good because you're not you anymore. Yeah, they dream. They dream to be so, I'm this guy.

What? Tell me I'm this guy. Give me your wallet, I'm you now. And me I'm this guy. Give me a wallet, I'm you now. And then I've got his money. Hopefully he has lots of it. Oh, I can. Oh. We have very wealthy clientele.

Clientele, we call. We're all right. We're all right. We're so wealthy. We're six months. Well, I mean, restaurants also have clientele. Let's be honest. Maybe most businesses.

Clientele? Customers. Right. Jess has never been in a business before. Oh, sorry. She's never used a clientele. Okay, don't be patronizing just because I'm new to business. Patronizing.

Wow. We have many patrons. Another word for clientele. Oh my, I can't get this right. I'll never be a business man. You got a great briefcase there. You look like you're well on your way. We're in a power suit. It's hot in here. In the power suit. Straightly you can see. You've got a lot of swimming in it. It's a little heater in it. It's

like a silly hat on purchase. I don't know why it're ballooning out there. The suit sells a float up to the ceiling. What do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you, no. I'm boiling. Well, you look fantastic. Thank you. I'm so powerful. Yeah. Because I'm literally radiating heat. All right. Now, let's actually do a pod. Okay. If you haven't heard the show before, because you've maybe liked the topic, what's happened here is I, Dave Warnicki, have picked this topic. Jess and Matt don't know what it's going to be about. It's been suggested by one of the listeners. And we always start with a question to get onto said topic. So my question is...

I'm gonna get it. You want to have a guess before he asks? Okay, yep, Jess, have a quote. Bananas. Okay, great. And you met... I'm not saying Jess is wrong. He's true of bananas.

I'm not saying Jess is wrong. Okay. And you met I'm not saying just a true banana. Not saying just as wrong. Okay Foul app the horse and who and it's and it racing Horse horse racing. Let's try remember that time I said banana logic Because we recorded two episodes out of sync. No, I never said anything about it at the end of one episode I said some about How about that thing last week when I talked about banana logic. And then we recorded the next one. I had to, and the whole episode, I'm waiting to go,

all right, how do I've got to work banana logic in. And then you, Dave, was wrapping up. I'm like, oh, and what I, the other thing, this guy, BTK, he's really got banana logic, doesn't he? All right. And no one even, no message going, was man okay? No one cares. So what happened?

I was. I was if you're okay. I'd forgotten. And then I just thought you'd lost it. And I thought Jess was laughing because you'd lost it. And it was only when I really listened back to the other episode that I remember. Oh, that's the context.

I just thought you'd just gone, oh, but analogic, I'm mad, I'm crazy. I'm wacky. Whoa. Okay, my question According to a traditional rhyme We must remember remember the fifth of I'm gonna stick with my original answer Far-lap race horse race horsey horse race far-lap. I Literally said I'm gonna get this question and if you believe in

yourself like I did dreams can come true. It's a 10 month tell me it's a 10 month. It is remembrance days. It is November. It is the fifth of November. Okay, just you know what we're remembering. Guy forks day. Guy forks, day. Guy forks, night. Night. That's very good.

That's great. He's the guy from the mask from Anonymous and V for Vendida. Vendida, I don't know what we say in our country. So the traditional rhyme is remember remember, the fifth of November, the gunpowder, treason and plot. I know of of November the gunpowder treason and plot I know of no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot This week's topic is the gunpowder plot right I Vagling know about this. It's got to a gunpowder. It's got to do a guy forks. It's got to do with plots

That is all you need to know and also other things, but I don't want to give too much away. You don't know anything else, do you? What if I said the word foybled? It's got to be out there with one of my favorite words. That sounds a bit like foiled. It sounds like foiled. It sounds like foiled sounds like again we've recorded this out of order. Next week, last week you talked about foibullt. You have to try and get that in some way. But no, I just can't talk. Alright. Foiled and foibles. Foibles is something. It's like a floor. Floor. And what their floor was that they were foiled, which is what got me to foibullt. Let Dave to the report. You're all right. Just step out. Okay. Your biggest flaw and something you often face as a foyball is not being able to say foybled.

Yep. Okay, this topic was suggested by Stuart L. Cock with his final golden hat suggestion. I've got a couple of those left. People that supported us a lot through Patreon, thank you Stuart L. Cock. It's also been suggested, so it definitely goes out to you, but the topic has also been suggested, went back through the hat by Barry Worthington and Kalem McDonald. Both good names.

The no Stuart O'Connor. So a bit of background on this topic. Now we've got a whole episode devoted to him, but to put this all into context, we have to talk briefly about King Henry VIII. He loved fucking and beheading. Oh yeah. So to sum this up really quickly, between 1533 and 1540, Henry took control of the English Church from Rome and the Vatican, and by doing so he started several decades of religious tension in England. Basically, he wanted

an annulment of his 20 plus year marriage, his first wife Catherine of Eragon, and he wrote to the Pope and asked if he could have an enolman of the marriage, because Catherine was actually his brother's widow, and he shouldn't have married her in the first place, and it was against the Bible, and that's why God wasn't giving him the male heir he deserved. The Pope refused, so Henry said, fuck you, I'm making my own church, but I'm the boss, and I say what happens. Do you do you write back, fuck you? Again, Jess? I did a whole report on this episode 62. I don't listen. Are you kidding me? Fuck you. Oh, to quote Henry VIII.

Oh, you know, the whole remember remember the fifth of November. The problem with that is you the bit your remember is the remember remember bit and then the rest could be anything remember remember the seventh of September like it's still rhymes. Yeah Remember remember the 26th of August yeah exactly it could be anything So really they could have been they should have made it like snow, vemba, snow, vemba, hmm the fifth of No, vemba Hey, miss no, vemba,s November, myths November, the fifth of November. Thank you.

That's much better. Jess is looking at me with respect for the first time. Just for everything. So to keep summarizing here, Henry made himself the head of the Church of England, which these days is like a Voltron sort of scenario. That's right. So in summary, he made himself the head of the Church of England, which these days is like a vulcone sort of scenario. That's right. So in summary, he made himself the head of the Church of England, which these days is Anglican, which is a type of Protestantism.

After Henry died, there was a lot of yoyoing back and forth between a Protestant king or queen and a Catholic king or queen. And to varying degrees, to put it very basically, if the monarch was Protestant, the Catholics were persecuted, and if they were Catholic, the Protestants were victimizedized so people would go through generation where they're like we're on top and then another generation where they were being persecuted and sort of went back and forth. Why can't we be friends? No they're totally different because because the king recently said they were

it's one of my favorite splits in a people. It just seems like such a minor thing. There are very, I was looking up the differences. It's mostly the big things of the Pope. Catholics have the Pope, the Protestant people don't think that he's like the head of the church. The Archbishop of Canterbury, right? Well, that's the head of the highest religious figure in the Church of England, that's right. And then there's a difference between saints, Catholics, pray to saints. In addition to God and Jesus, Protestants acknowledge saints, but don't pray to them. Right.

Oh, okay. Catholics have holy water. Pergatory, if you- Protestants have Gatorade. Good, get those electrolytes. And another minor difference is communion. In Catholicism, the bread and wine become the blood and body of Jesus Christ, meaning that Jesus is truly present.

In Protestantism, it's more symbolic. Yeah. I mean, it's not actually his blood, is it? Well, no, it's not a total Catholicism, but I think they can't believe that it's... When I was there, I reckon that even the teachers were like, you know, we know it's a symbol, but it's... Yeah, I took it as symbolic, not... Well, you took it as Protestant then.

Wow, you didn't realize. Oh no, I've gotta go back and apologize to my Catholic school educators. So you think, go do reconciliation, please? Fuck. Reconciliation was the best. It's great. You got a lot of stuff off your chest. Yeah, but also, like, you're nine when you do your first one.

There's really a lot of it with um, I think I, yes. And um, and then he just keeps looking at you and nodding and you're like, What do you want more? I hit my brother, because he made me angry. I didn't finish my porridge. Yeah, I mean, he's start making up stuff. Yeah, absolutely. Because you me angry. I didn't finish my porridge. Yeah, I did.

One time. Can you start making up stuff? Yeah, absolutely. Because you're nine, you haven't sinned. I punched a priest. Your bonus sinner, Jess. Oh man, anyway, let's get back to... I feel so guilt-free, it's great.

I love it. Why, what did you grow up? An angle? No, nothing. Oh, a heathen, sorry. Heathen's the word I'm looking for. Well, I mean, I'm glad you're guilt-free now, but... Where's your being burnt to death in hell?

No, you won't be burnt to death, will you? Burt alive. Burt alive. Thank you. Forget how it works. So basically, this is the summary of what has led up to these things. Henry the 8th son, Edward the 6th, succeeded him. He did finally have a son. And he was the first monarch to be raised Protestant before that there were raised Catholic. But when

he was found to be dying when he was just a teenager, he went to great lengths to make sure he wouldn't be replaced by a Catholic. So he undercut his half-sister's Mary and Elizabeth, and instead had his first cousin, Lady Jane Gray to replace him. She was also a teenager when she ascended the throne and there's a reason she is known to history as the 9-day queen. Oh. Oh, I've got a funny feeling. Because she was only on the throne for 9 days before Mary had her arrested and ultimately executed. Yeah, it feels like you don't want to be the one who cheats their way to the top for someone else. It's like you are going to be killed soon. Yeah, rather than just living your life as a kind of royal person.

It's a doggy dog world. What you're talking? I reckon if you've got an opportunity to be a queen, you take it. For nine days, as long as I've been the Queen of England. Yeah, me too. Really? Yeah. Yeah. It was seven. Dave?

15. Five. God is good. So now Mary, Mary the first is on the throne. She was a Catholic, and there's a reason she's known to history as bloody Mary. She loved Tabasco and fused cocktails. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And murdering Protestants.

Oh. Mary was Henry VIII's oldest daughter and dedicated her life to try and reverse all the stuff her father had done with the church. So she tried to reconnect with the Vatican, make it all Catholic again. During her five-year reign, Mary had over 280 religious dissenters burned at the stake. Wow. So she was hard-line anti-protestant. But then Mary died and she was replaced by her half-sister and Henry VIII's other daughter, Elizabeth I. She's a big deal.

Now there's a reason she's known to history as the Virgin Queen. She loved cocktails but hated alcohol, so always had virgin bloody Mary's. Huh? Huh? I mean, it didn't need that last feeling. We already got it. But that's why she remained a virgin throughout her spectacular 45 year reign. 45 45. She never had a dick in. So it goes 45 year old virgin. No, no, no, that's how long she how long she lived to be like into her 60s. She's a second longest serving Hang on back Elizabeth II now. I think you guys Elizabeth II and Victoria are Queen Victoria Virgin the whole time

First and I'm sure I dwelled on this a lot last time too. Sorry Not judging. Yeah, but that's not just curious. No one's that's that's something people actually believe I'm pretty sure that they people believe she was a virgin. Yeah, she that's not just curious. No one's, is that something people actually believe? I'm pretty sure that they, people believe she was a version. Yeah, right? She never had any ears. Yeah, I mean, you can, you can use protection. Yeah, you can, I don't think so. You can do that.

You can do this without. There's other options. Making it baby. What are the options? Put them on the table. Well, I'm not gonna put them on the table. Yeah, I I'm not gonna do that. We have young listeners. I don't want to be bad anyway. The things we talk about on this show, I'm sure you're worried about fit, about explaining how they can have safe sex. No, I wouldn't want to ruin their lives. I wouldn't want to ruin their lives. Okay,'t want to ruin their lives. Oh.

Okay, so, Lizard with the first, like you said Matt, big deal, very famous queen. One of her first actions as queen was the establishment of an English Protestant church, and now it's back to Protestant, of which she became the supreme governor. I was like, Henry...

Supreme governor! Or a supreme governor. Shiny shoes. Get your paper. Buy your condoms. I don't believe in that. Now this fully swung back to Protestantism with the monarch being the head of the church again.

Because she had no kids, Virgin, Catholics hoped that Elizabeth's successor would be her cousin Mary, Queen of Scots. She was the legitimate heir to the throne, but her career, and she's also very, very Catholic. But it's also only, funnily enough, the Queen of people named Scott. Which is pretty limiting.

She also had... Back then it was in as popular. She had at least three dozen subjects. Now she's got like, tan in every fraternity house. So many scots. American scots. Big Catholic Catholics are hoping that she'll be. She's a legitimate editor. She's a name. She's not a she's not one of mine. She's not one of the stewards. Ah yes she is the father of father and mother of James Stewart. Bloody hell. Your name's James Stewart with a Matthew at the front.

Yep. I'm sad to report Matt that her career faltered when she had a head cut off for treason. Yeah, runs in the bloody family. Headless chooks, that's all. You've got a head on right now. Yeah, well, it's hard to recover from that. Elizabeth, Dr. Off, she's the one who chopped her head off. Elizabeth eventually died in 1603 at the age of 69 L'Oranic for the Virgin She was succeeded by Merrick Winn of Scott's son James Would already been King James the sixth of Scotland for over 35 years at this point And because of his English royal blood was able to unify the English Irish and Scottish crowns

And became King James I of England. And who better than to unite the three countries that are man, historians now describe as crude and vulgar who slobbered everywhere. I'm bloody, bloody, bloody, St. Bernard. Yes. Oh, that'd be a cute movie. There's a King, but he's a Saint Bernard. It's been done. Fuck Probably as yeah, copyright no one do it King Bud. I reckon it would have happened King Beethoven So James the first also was a was a Protestant so naeve had finally had two kings and queens in a row that believe in the same stuff So finally bit of stability, I guess, consistency of anything, nothing else. But guess

who was still unhappy with this? Catholics. Interesting. This was despite the fact that James's attitude towards Catholics could be seen as more moderate than that of his predecessor Elizabeth. Someone even called him tolerant. After all, he was the son of the Catholic martyr, Mary Queen of Scots, and his wife, Anne of Denmark, had herself converted to Catholicism. His mom's Catholic, wife's a Catholic. A wild time. He let his wife have her own choice.

It's a wild time. So she converted to Catholicism. What was the Danish fashion of the time, religion-wise? I imagine I have no idea. It's quite an imagination you have there. Didn't want to go out on the limb? Yeah because you'd think for her to go different from her king husband then maybe it was maybe fashionable and not that religion's fashionable. Maybe she was as agnostic. Fascionable.

I'll agnostic. And then decided. So whatever, whatever's in this season. Yeah, cool. Or maybe she just, she saw that the God. Maybe she tried it of everything. Yeah, it's a very confusing thing. It is.

But it was basically because one guy wanted to get divorced. Is that, that's simplified, that's what it is. Yeah, well, King Henry the eighth wanted to get divorced. Is that kind of that simplified, that's what it is. Yeah, well, King Henry the eighth wanted to get divorced has set in motion all these events. Fascinating. Another reason that Catholics were pretty excited about King James I was he appointed some Catholic sympathizers to important roles in his monarchy,

which some of you Elizabeth never would have done. So this relaxation led to considerable growth in the number of visible Catholics. People no longer had to hide their Catholic sympathies. Still haves invisible ones though. The invisible ones really thrived under this doggy dog circumstances. You're talking about ghosts, Dave. These are some of the invisible you're going to get it.

I prefer the politically correct term in visible Catholics. That's a new band name. The invisible Catholics? No, invisible Catholics. Get rid of thee. Oh, that's like the furious Wikipedia debate amongst people whether the band Eagles

is called Eagles or the Eagles. And people go back and forth and add The, and people are really angry about it. Yeah, imagine you just have to look at one of their albums and it was just, I'm pretty sure that even their albums are inconsistent. Wow, I love that. I loved that about them.

Okay, so people are now publicly Catholic a bit more, but it wasn't enough. Many wanted a fully Catholic leader, and James wasn't as tolerant as Samadhar. Some people thought that he might be like, it's cool to be whatever. But he wasn't that cool. He wasn't fully Catholic. He wasn't fully on board. So some members of the Catholic clergy decided that something had to be done. Uh-oh. They developed two plots.

One is called the main plot. The other one is called the bi plot. Pick one. What would you be a part of? The bi plot. Okay, Jess, you're in the main plot. Go on, I'd go and shopping. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but neither was successful. Fuck. The main plot was to get rid of the king and replace him with his cousin, Lady Arbella Stewart.

Arbella. Oh, no. Pretty. This plot involved Sir Walter Raleigh, who I discussed in more detail on the lost colony of Rowanoke episode 102. Oh gosh. This is a real shady universe episode. It's crazy, man.

It's a busy guy. Because of his involvement in this plot, when it didn't go well, Raleigh was imprisoned in the Tower of London for 13 years. What? So it's pretty bad. From real estate. Imagine how much it cost to buy the apartment there now. What? For 13 years rent for free. Amazing deal.

Plus meals. Oh my god. Torture? Get it all. So that's the main plot. It was discovered and ended early in the bi-plot was even worse. That plan was for two famous priests, William Watson and William Clark. The two willies.

Famous priests. At the time. What a time. They plan to kidnap, well, I mean, right now, the two willies. Famous priest. At the time. They plan to kidnap, well, I mean, right now, the Pope, I guess is the one, isn't he? He's the famous priest. The famous priest. Another great band name, the famous priest.

Sorry, famous priests. Thank you. William and Willie, they plan to kidnap King James and hold him in the Tower of London until he agreed to be more tolerant towards Catholics. Which for me is very kind of done like, like you've been prisoned the king. What do you think that when he gets out he's going to just stay true to his word and not just like kill you? Well, that plan, too, was discovered early and the two willies were executed.

Oh, not the cut the willies off. And the they probably did cut the willies off. They probably chopped the heads off the willies off. And they probably did cut the willies off. They cut the heads off the willies. So the plan actually backfired for Catholics because now he didn't. My willies are burning at the stake. So they in case they killed them that way. Covering all angles there. My willies drowning to death at the stake at the stake Can a willy drown oh no fire and squatters shooting my willy Well, I've hanged my willy my willy is hanging from that tree

My willy is being electrocuted in a chair both of them, okay, I think that might be... I've had a lethal injection in my will is. I've got two willies. My will is... Why will he's giving in a few lethal injections in my mouth? Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Said... Said willie. Oh! As he was dying Dave No, no good Should be late

Am I still doing it wrong? He doesn't know how to do it You wouldn't put it on the table earlier Oh, that's true. This is on me in a way Yeah, this is my fault So I wanted to say that the planet backfired spectacularly for the Catholics because they fucked up and then also now the king hates Catholics because they've seen as a threat. He publicly announced these utter detestation of Catholicism. Within days all priests and

Jesuits had been expelled and recuency finds reintroduced. And these are finds given to those who remain loyal to the Pope and who do not attend Church of England services, which is actually a requirement by law at this time. So if you don't go to church, you have to pay a massive fine. Wow. And he sort of lapsed that so people didn't have to go to church, but now he's been threatened by the Catholics. He's like, fuck it, you're all going to church.

You're paying, you're paying. Silly. So now James is pissed off at Catholics, and Catholics are really, really pissed off at James. One such pissed off Catholic man was a man called Robert Keatsby. Don't like it. He's very central to the story, so I'm afraid I have to say it a few more times.

Kate's B. Kate's B. What are you? The great Kate's B. All right, I'm kind of back now. I've tried to read the great Gads B three times. Really, it's great. No, I can't get into it.

Really interesting. I've really tried. How far do you reckon you get in? Oh, like maybe a chapter or two. Oh, bored. West egg and all those things. Bored. Have you seen the film?

No. Oh good, because I find that often in ruins books. Can you start imagining Lee and I at the Caprions set of your... Oh, I imagine him in any character anyway. He plays all the characters in my mind books. Yeah? Oh. I've mind books.

I'll run books. I'll try it. Keep talking about Kate's Be Then. The great Kate's Be. Great Kate's Be. Born in 1573, he was a direct descendant of William Kate's Be, a high ranking counselor of King Richard III and a character in the Shakespeare play of the same name.

How could it be to be related to a Shakespearean character? What? You're pretty cool. That's cool. Robert K. Spies' father, Sir William of Lapworth, was a proud Catholic man, and one of the leaders of the Catholic cause and throughout his childhood,

Robert saw his father suffer greatly because of his strong faith. Robert was only eight years old when his father was arrested for the first time, and from then on, his father spent the rest of his life in and out of prison, mainly for refusing to go to the Protestant church. Robert himself entered Oxford, went to university in 1586, but left before getting his degree in order to avoid taking the oath of supremacy, which would have required him to publicly

swear allegiance to the monarch as supreme governor of the Church of England. So basically, if you'd got up there and refused, he would have been in a lot of trouble, sort of avoid actually even being asked to do it. He dropped out of uni, didn't get his degree. In 1593, Robert married Catherine Lee, who was a Protestant. Kate Lee. Catherine Lee, okay. There's much speculation that he converted to Protestantism at the time, but reverted

back to Catholicism upon his wife's death five years later So which it kind of blows my mind because he's like hard line what you'd probably call an extremist today Right yet he converted to the other side and then came back. He just loves the team game I reckon that was a summer. It's some of these people like it Sounds like the difference is on that big. It's not like you fully change everything. You still believe in the same God It's like you're you're loyal to your team, right your family and whatever. I think love will make you do wacky things. I think love will tell you apart Again, wow you are bitter A bit of from love my hurt you my lethal injection. Oh, okay, wait

My heart, yeah, my lethal injection. Oh, okay. Wait, injected yourself. No, I just can't love anything Okay, stop putting because I think in everything you love. Oh, well this apple. I love this That house plan. I love that it was yeah, I love that. That donut very fortunate Fortunately, touch the sides. Fortunately, it's a big donut. Then touch the sides. Luckily, it was a big donut. It was more of a bangle. Large bangle. Bangle shaped donut. Edible bangle.

Bangle shaped donut. An edible bangle is a great idea. Nothing great, band name. The edible bangles. Edible bangles, please. Oh my god. So this is back to Kate's beat. Through his wife and grandmother, he inherited a great fortune.

Oh. With his fortune, he was able to pay the large fines to not attend Protestant church. So he's shelling out just so he doesn't have to go to church. Wow. I put it on that as a kid. I'm a big, I said this at work today. I'm a big fan to go to church. Wow. I'll put it on there as a kid. I'm a big, I've said this at work today, I'm a big fan of paying for convenience. Okay.

But even I would probably just go to church. Rather, because most people, if you don't have enough money, well, if you're not wealthy, you can't afford to do this. Yeah. It's gotta be expensive. It's very expensive.

If it was like two bucks, I would never go. I think you're like having a cat. You know, they pass that hat around anyway. So you still probably end up putting a couple of bucks in there and you're at church. You know how I stopped going to church? My parents offered me a deal when I was about 12. If I joined the tennis team,

which was a church tennis team, I think. Okay. Then I, the games were on at the same time as church. So I became a tennis player. Nice. I don't know, why were your parents, like you have to be tennis player, is, well, I think they're, I think maybe they realized

that I, you know, I wasn't fully, I don't know. It's, I guess I should ask them about that. It's weird, right? You think you wanna take me to church. It seems like a weird flip to then go, or tennis. Okay, question. Did they have to take me to church. It seems like a weird flip to then go, or tennis question. Did they have to stop going to church and attend your tennis games instead?

Oh, one of them maybe did. Seat suite deal for them, they have to go to church every two weeks. No, but they, I thought they liked it. No, I thought wrong. Look, I really need it. I probably should be having this discussion with them. Let's call them now.

In a way, I mean, did I listen to the podcast? So in a way, you could be having this discussion with them. Let's call them now. In a way, I mean, did I listen to the podcast? So in a way, you could be having the conversation with them if they supported you. They do not do that, no. My brother and sister do, no my sister does. Ah, anyway, fuck you Tom. Ah, fuck off Tom. Hi Tom. The better looking Stuart.

But no mum, yeah, my mom teaches at a Catholic school still. And your dad still teaches at a 10th school? And yeah, my dad's still at a 10th school. My dad's a 10th school. My dad's a 10th school. He's still at 10th school. Bounce and about. Love you, dad.

Love you, dad. You're a bouncy fuck. So, case me's definitely in the minority in people avoiding shirts. So this time most Catholics kept their beliefs private and went to Protestant shirts just to avoid trouble, basically. It should be noted, putt and, putt sees, just pick up a racket, mate. It should be noted that during this year at England work at war with a, with Catholic

Spain, making the authorities even more suspicious of Catholics, because they thought there might be double agents acting on behalf of Catholic Spain. Did any leave? I mean, you might not have gone down this road, but did many English Catholics leave to Catholic-friendly countries like Italy and Spain or whatever? Yes, a famous person in this story. I'll talk about left to fight for Spain. Right.

Because he was a Catholic, a certain guy. Oh, I can't tell you where it's at. I can't tell you where it's at. So it was Mary Queen of the Scots. She's dead. And that sounds like this person was alive. And a guy, yeah, I'm gonna put it one through Mary Queen of Scots, but I'm not willing to roll anyone out, I'll see it all out at this stage. We'll keep you posted.

Thank you, Colombo. Kate's bee took a few risks. She was a trusted member of the Catholic community in the even Hid Priest Studies House, which house which member they've all been banished that's a very risky crime for both him and the priest. I wonder where he hid him. Probably a priest cupboard. You know the priest cupboard. It's strange that the authorities never check the priest cupboard. Yeah I know it's right there on the side and the door. It's labeled priest.

And it says like occupied by priest. Occupy Oh Which is Spanish Is it occupied oh fuck? Idiot. What is what I say? Said nothing great. It's not it's not a word And what I've often found was Spanish speakers and unless you get it 100% right they look at you like what the hell Have you just said you can miss out one little like a whole sentence you miss out one like word or like the they're like I'm so sorry I do not know the same way this is something in France. I was on a tour and we'll go through the Bohemian area And there was he was talking about like hips to type people there were known as

Bobo's right Bohemian and then someone else. A couple of like French words, abbreviated a Bobo, right? And he was talking about him for five minutes, the tour guide. And then I, this guy came past who looked just like how he described him. And I go, oh, is that a Bobo? And he said, I'm sorry. What are you, that guy is your bobo? He's like, oh, I have no idea. Oh, hang on. You mean bobo? Yes, he is. I think about what you did wrong there. Is that what you should have said was, is he a bobble? Yeah, no, really, it was something like a bubble. It really was something like, I wonder if that time you'd still that price. Wow, I just said to the priest hipster and then kept walking. Woo. By many accounts, Katsumi was a very popular man in his community,

very charming and a great speaker. He got on well publicly with both Catholics and Protestants alike. According to Britannia.com, he was considered one of the most dashing and courageous horsemen in the country. He was a horsemen. And he was dashing. Which part was which? I'd be at the horse body. Because if you all got man legs with a horse head, that is a pretty crazy life. If you got a horse mean as that is a lethal injection. Do you have the same one that I'm dropping with you? Have you seen one drop down? I saw a man who's one of my earliest memories is seeing a horse.

What? Dick drop down. Where were you? Was that a horse? Patrick. And when they piss, they just, they drop out of them. You ever seen that? They're real big. Real big.

Yeah, that's how you do it. The earth moves. It's like you haven't recovered. Wow, the earth moves. Yeah. You were also much smaller. I was a lot smaller. It was fun.

And it was, holy moly. It was like a child inside of the horse who just punched its way out. I'm like, it's stomachs. I felt like a small penis shaped child. What is the horse who just punched its way out. Oh my. It's stomachs. I felt like a small penis shaped child. What does the out, just the forearm? So a small forearm shaped penis troubled. Yes.

So you're asking me like it's not obviously clear. I've been talking for quite a while and we have not got to the topic. This is the topic. Well, it isn't it isn't. Well, we haven't got to the plot part. Well, we've talked a bit about penises. So Dave, this is my way of saying I don't want to talk about penises anymore and I'd like to get to the point.

Okay, so Kate's B don't worry. He's the main player here. Don't worry about this. Kate's B. Horstic. Horstic. What do you want to call it? Is he a Horstic?

Yes. Wow. In six to anyone, Kate'spie was involved in the Essex rebellion and not rising against Elizabeth I, the Protestant. The rebellion was a failure, however, the wounded Katspie was captured and imprisoned at the Wood Street counter and find 4,000 marks, which is equivalent to 6 million pounds.

What the fuck? Over 10 million Australian dollars. Holy shit. Leading him to have to sell his mana. But don't worry. He had so much money, he still made income from his many estates. What the fuck?

Imagine being able to find, since I'm talking about like, he's fine $10 million and he's still, he's like, whatever. Then King James became the king and things, well, James first became the King and things didn't get better as the Catholics, as the Catholics had all hoped, but they got worse. The final straw for KSP was when James seek to bring in legislation that effectively made Catholics outlaw and unable to make money from their estates and unable to bequeath wills. So you die and then the monarchy

gets your stuff, not your family. Or you can't make money from your estates. Like I said, that's how he makes all these monies. He's like, something has to be done. The queeth is a good word too, isn't it? The queeth. Yeah. It's not to be confused with bequeath. Yes. Two very different ones. You never want to be quave. I am quave. That's quave is a set of mind, I have a quave. Oh, could you guys just be quave?

Please do a good, do a big quave. Oh. Ha ha ha. You're a great at that. It's right away. Guys, guys, just be quick. Okay. Mads more on Bob with toilet humor this week than Jess. It's amazing. It's not toilet humor. Since we switched seats last week, I think it must be the chair. Now I'm no longer the head of the table.

Yeah, I'm the boss. Yeah, the other respectable boss like I used to be. Okay mate, that's cute. David, do good one. Okay, Robert Kspy, something has to be done. So what he does, he held a meeting between himself and four of his friends. He had a bit.

Something has to be done. Just a guy. I'm gonna have a barbecue with my friends. Some stuff of his chest, you know? I like how you started that off with between himself. Like, just in case we thought he was holding a meeting without himself there. Guys, I've organized this meeting, but I will not be in attendance.

Possible. I've left out snacks for you. Change the world. Bequeath. As I always say, bequeath. There is a parallel universe somewhere where that is like the ruling party. Big Weaf. As I always say, big Weaf. There is a parallel universe somewhere where that is like the ruling party. That's how they sign off from everything.

Big Weaf. So, himself and his friends, having a meeting, to discuss a plan that Kate's been thought up, on the 20th of May 1604, they met the duck and Drake. Fuck, yes. What's a Drake again? It's my duck. It's a Drake again? Smile duck is it? Goose. I think it's a swamp.

Oh. No, it's a duck. It is a duck. I'm sure of that now. Yeah. I'm sure of that now. No, I thought about it. I thought about it.

A male duck you are right. So I'm double check to make sure I was sure about it. Very cool. In attendance was... Never doubt me. I always doubt you. In attendance at the meeting was Katsby himself. Thomas Winter.

Oh. But Winter. They named Winter after him, did you know that? These names actually win two. Before that it was coldy. Summer, autumn, spring and coldy. Which I kind of prefer, but... My favorite month is coldy.

I mean, season, also month. January, February, March, April, Colby. Thomas Winter, a well-educated soldier who had international diplomacy skills that they hoped could help them in the long term. Would that give him diplomatic immunity? Exactly. He's also South African. Oh.

Diplomatic immunity. Another man at the table was Jack Wright. I noted swordsman and strong silent type. Thomas Percy. I was hoping the next one would be Jack wrong. Sorry. Thomas Percy. It's a pretty good man.

He was their man on the inside. His cousin was the Earl of Northumberland. And he'd come and go at court with the King without suspicion because of his wealthy and powerful cousin, as well as a fifth man by the name of Captain Gweedow forks. Gweedow. Also known as Guy Forks. Oh, I don't know his name was Gweedow, that's a sick name. That's right, isn't it? Forks is cool too. He's a former school friend of Jack Wright, which is strange to me because I'm also a former school friend of a man named Jack Wright. I mean, they're very common names both of them Jack and Wright.

But you put them together and get an uncommon name. I've never said wow as many times I have in the last hour. This is a real wow fest. Jack Wright. I've a Guido for all guys, the most famous name in this story. Fork is a member of a prominent Yorkshire family and a convert to Catholicism. He had an adventurous spirit and 10 years earlier, he had left Protestant England for the Netherlands, where he enlisted in the Catholic Spanish army. He's the one I talked about before who left to fight for the Catholics. And he is a guy, yes. Yes, yes. You get it.

Whilst on duty there, he won a reputation for great courage and cool determination. He won that reputation in a game of chess. Yes, I win this reputation. Cheated to get it. What a cool dude. He had been recruited by Robert Katsby because the group agreed that they needed the help of a military man who would not be as readily recognizable as they were because he's been overseas for 10 years. It also helped that he was an expert with explosives. Stick a dime in my heart at the butt.

Oh yeah. After getting forks, because he was overseas, they'd sent Thomas Winter the Diplomatic Immunity man. How'd I go? First time I've ever tried it. No good, no good. Just started strong-ish. I dropped off a little and it was the worst I've ever heard. Strong-ish. But let me just ask you.

Oh no. What if I was to say, oh fuck, here we go. My name is Michael Cain. And I have a Diplomatic Immunity. That is Michael Cain. And I have a diplomatic immunity. That was Michael Cain doing a South African accent. Yeah, I actually wasn't bad. That was pretty good. You want me back?

Thank you. That was a character doing a character. That was Jack Wright by me. That was Jack all right by me. All right, so good, so good, Matt. No. You want me back. Alright, so good, so good, Matt. No, you won me back. But you lost me, interestingly.

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Movement that inspires. Call 800-333-4-Kia for details. Always drive safely. movement that inspires. Call 80333 or Kia for details. I'll be straight safely. So that's sent Thomas Winter the diplomatic man to get Guy Fox from the Netherlands who without any knowledge of the precise details of the plot return to England and join them. He was just keen to be part of something. He's like, guys, remember me?

Hey, I'm cool. Whilst Thomas was there, he'd asked Spain for help with the plan, but they're refusing. They'd already been at war with England for a long time. That is one piece now. Yeah. So they didn't want any part of this. So now the group was assembled. The big plan was revealed. They were going to blow up Parliament House, hoping to kill the king and destroy all of his government. We will destroy them. Pretty good plan. Stigidonimite. You're in the pretty good plan as to just to blow up Parliament. Yeah. That's a great idea. It's a great thought bubble. Actually, you said the bubble and Kate's but he wasn't sure how to do it. He was like, all I know is I want to kill him all in one go. Then Guy Fox was like, well, I'm an explosive guy.

I can make this happen. But before that, he'd got all these friends together for a secret meeting to say, how about we kill him all? If that's all I've got. That's all I have. But they agreed to his plan. And they swore an oath of secrecy on a religious artifact. What was it? It was a Protestant Bible.

Dick. Oh, okay. Two different takes. Yeah, I reckon I'm right. Shortly afterwards, they released a small house in the heart of Westminster, where... So they're trying to blow up the House of Parliament, which is still where Big Ben and stuff is today. Right.

Along the Thames there. And all those old buildings are still there as they are now? Yeah, well, that those buildings were, I mean, there's plenty of other buildings around it. And yeah, interesting, the same building still there. Oh, hang on, no. Ha ha ha ha. They've all been painstakingly rebuilt.

God is good. He's so like a sneaky, isn't he? God, you are good. Well done, mate. If you go on Joshua Hall's podcast with lying like that, or deceit and question asking like that. You've heard his feelings. I've seen you on Joshua Hall's podcast.

That's very funny. How about the time we're all on there? I don't think Matt did any of that. No, I think I lost pretty convincingly. Anyway, so they agreed to it. Shortly afterwards, they released this small house in the heart of Westminster, installing forks as caretaker under the alias of John Johnson.

Oh, come on. She's such a terrible made up man. You're going to come up with a made up name. That was honestly like, okay, what's your caretaker's name? John, okay, surname? John. That was honestly like okay, what's your caretaker's name John okay surname? John Son Let me finish

I haven't done yet Nailed it the seventh the Westminster Abbey Downton Just call me John Johnston All right, please I'm. You've already changed your surname. Oh, the forming. Oh my friend's got me Johnston.

Even though my name's John Johnson, it's a little joke. Just call me Dwain the John Johnson. Dwain the John Johnson. Can you smell what the John is cooking? I don't want to smell what the John is cooking. No, it was a cooking. Oh, I've put the lid down. So good.

John Johnson, such a good mate, I don't know. Thomas Percy had secured a position as a royal bodyguard thanks to his mate, the Earl of Northumberland, and he's one with the connections. And he claimed that John Johnson was his servant, meaning that John was able to freely roam. Hang on, a bodyguard has a servant. It's a ceremony or bodyguard. I don't think it was actually, it was more like, hey, this is my cousin, can you give him a job? Sure, a bodyguard bodyguard. Okay. He's in the posse, basically. Yeah. And the posse member has a servant.

Yeah, and the servant, because he's part of the posse's members, all because he's the posse member servant, he can roam around and no one's like, what are you doing here? Yeah, like I'm getting shoes from a master. I'm trying the John Johnson. All right. All right. Can you smell what I'm cooking? I'm trying the John Johnson. All right. Can you smell what I'm cooking? Why do people keep saying? For the explosion, they needed a lot of gunpowder.

And Richman Katsby had a house across the river, of course, he fucking lived, where they started stockpiling the explosives. The opening of Parliament, which is when they were going to hit whenever on Zinnetennas, the opening, was postponed until the following year, so the group went to ground and didn't made up for several months. But it's mole people. They went to ground with the mole people. It's always the mole people. I tell you every time, mole people. You actually do. This actually gave them a lot of time to plan. And when they regroup, they started to dig a tunnel from the house that Guy Forks John Johnson is living in towards the house of Lords.

So actually they're gonna go underneath. Whoa. I'm into this. Yeah, I'm liking it. And they are definitely more people. They are digging like more people. Yep. Oh yeah, that too.

I just had a gut feeling. Due to fears of the plague, which was still killing off people during this period, the Black Plague. The Black Plague is coming in. It's a... Were there many plagues? Because there is the Black Plague, but then there's also the plague. But are they the same plague?

Yes, the same, the Black Death, the plague, the Ubonic Plague, it's all the same name for the same thing. And what happens is it comes Around for a bit kills a lot of people sort of dies down comes back for many hundreds of years really We should do an episode about the plague Definitely in the heart is it yeah sick Because A lot of people were very sick

Jesus sorry if that's too soon. Too soon. My great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great everything today. It's like what's the worst illness you've ever had? You had the flu. Swine flu I had that once. Did you? Yeah. Did you really? Yeah. You had swine flu? Yeah but it was probably... I mean you ate a pig or you became a pig. No. Or you fucked a pig? Yes. Whatever I was calling my penis before. I need to kill to peg. I killed a peg. Pag, the pig. It's pegging for a smile. You actually had swine flu.

You were pegged to pig? Yeah. But it was like probably a year after it was like the big one in the news. It wasn't as like, it was more common. How was it different to regular flu? The doctor said it was swine flu. And you just blindly trusted the doctor? Oh, yeah.

You fucking swine flu. It's like, name it someone else. Pig flu. I can't make it. Flu. Bacon powder. Or, orink flu. It just feels like why I put, I mean,

why you put it on the pigs for starters, but it also makes people who get it feel to me like, you know, you don't want to be anywhere near them. Like I'm some sort of pig boy. Yeah. Not there's anything wrong with that. So my best friends are pig boys, but you know, not everyone's as tolerant as me.

There you go. Anyway, because illness you ever had times of by like eight, that's the plague. Eight's ones. Because of the black death coming up, it actually delayed Parliament another six months which halted the plan again. However, they were able to decide during this halting time that after they exploded the king, they would kidnap his daughter Elizabeth

and then install her as the puppet queen, but really they'd be in charge behind the scenes, telling her what to say. Okay. Catholics are good, right? Catholics are good, right? Catholics are good, right. Oh, kidnapper. It's like what you said before, once the monarch is free and by themselves.

That's not a lot of clever stuff going on in this story. They had to dig slow so guards weren't alerted on the grounds above, but eventually the plotter's tunnel reached the main foundations of the House of Lords. Then they brought the gunpowder in barrels from a K-SPEAST House across the river and then they put it into the tunnel. Then some news came in. Great news for the team, but bad news for the tunnel digging team because Thomas Percy was able to rent a vault that was directly under the House of Lord. So the plot of the side of the, they no longer needed to carry on with the tunnel plan.

So some people have dug a tunnel every day for like nine months and then they didn't use it. Oh, it's good. I'd be like, can we just use both? Like come on, I need this. Let's fill the tunnel with explosives as well. Two bombs. Two bombs?

Yes. Fuck it. Two bombs? Yes. Fuck it. 420 blazer. Woohoo! So instead, GuyFox started moving the barrels of gunpowder and kindling into the vault. He did this under the cover of Nightfall and once in the vault, he hid the barrels behind Firewood.

So if you went in there, it looks like there's a lot of wood stack there. And how does Firewood differ to wood? It's chopped at strides, ready to burn. Good stuff, Matt. Great definition. All this time in the Midlands of the country and uprising was being planned for the aftermath of the explosion. The conspirators needed extra funds and they enlisted wealthy Catholic Ambrose Rookwood. Yes. Holy fuck. That's good. Oh my goodness. I know a dog Catholic Ambrose Rookwood. Yes. Holy fuck. That's good. Oh my goodness.

I know a dog called Ambrose. Ambrose. Really? That is a great name. Ambrose Rookwood. Holy fuck. I put that out there. Oh my god.

That, that. Whoa. I'm buzzing. I really should have put these names second because the other name, what are you talking about? Francis Tresham. It's fun. It does sound a bit like one of mispronunciations. Tresham. I should have put these names second because the other name, what are you talking about? Francis Trechum. That's fun. That sounds a bit like one of mispronunciations.

Trechum. Trechum. Yeah, that sounds like something. Steven. Who's actually Andy? I'm not Francis Trechum. Steven. These actually Kate Spees cousin,

who had come into a lot of money and they donated the money so they could... They came into a lot of money. We've all wanted to come into a lot of money and they donated the money so they could aim into a lot of money Hmm. We've all wanted to come into a lot of money, and I have with the lethal injection. Oh Dave. No Sorry, I'm really gonna call you lethal weapon Okay, thank all him lethal weapon Cool is Johnson. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, they're sort of arming people in the Midlands so they can also have a bit of a revolt. Viva revolution!

Matt's favorite thing to do at a live show. Everything feels like it's going along. Great. This feels like it would be hard to fuck up. Just go and blow it up. Got the guns. Away we go. Okay, so you say everything's going great the head of the Jesuit mission in England father Henry Garnett Learned of the conspiracy through one of his subjects confessional. Oh my god. Oh come on

This is a dummy's the speed of privacy there. There are the between the priests and God? Done. Done. Done. Tell the priests. I mean, you... No. I guess one of the bad things of spreading the uprising, you're recruiting people, is the more people that know the more people that can leak it. Exactly. I know. That's their big mistake. So Father Henry, he is about an confessional.

He's horrified by the plan revolt. He contacts Katsby, tries to convince him not to act, but he is ignored. They're going to go ahead anyway to act, but he is ignored. They're going to go ahead anyway. Meanwhile, the opening of Parliament's delayed yet another month. This would be so frustrating. It's been a long time. Ready to go. He's ready to explode.

No, they've got the bloody gunpowder ready to rock. Finally, on November the 5th, Parliament is set to open. Inattendance at this state opening, because it's the big ceremonial first-day Parliament, would be as well as the monarchs, the nearest relatives and members of the Privy Council, there'd be, so the monarch himself, his family, senior judges of the English legal system, most of the Protestant aristocracy, the bishops of the Church of England, as well as the members of the House of Lords, and all the members of the House of Commons. So if they were all to die at once, the monarchy in the government would be thrown into

a complete chaos, which is what they want. John Goodman would end up as the King of Iraqim. I think so. I think so. However, a couple of weeks before this on October 26, Frances Trechum, the man who is Robert K. Spies-Cousin that's donated money, well his brother-in-law, Lord Mont-Eagle, no good name Lord Mont-Eagle, he received an unsigned letter warning him not to attend the opening of Parliament on the 5th of November. Mont-Eagle was one of the many Catholics who was loyal

to the crown and he decided to show the letter to the King's chief minister, Robert Cecil. One of Montiegel's servants alerted the plotters that they may have been found out by the letter. Now at this point you'd be thinking, okay, I'm going to bail on the idea. The priest is talking, Montiegel's getting a letter showing the King's advisors, but nope! Kate's speed decides to go ahead. Instead, he bales up his cousin, Frances Tresham, who he thinks has written this letter. And he confronts him and calls him a traitor. Tresham denies the allegations, although he does urge Kate's speed to now abandon the

plot, which is a bit sus. I wasn't the guy that tried to derail the plot, but you should derail the plot. Yeah, well, maybe now that everyone knows about it. Okay, he could just be common sense. So in response to this case, we decided to get Guy Falks to check on the seller where he finds that nothing has been moved. All the gunpowder still there. So if they really knew they'd take the gunpowder out truly. So the plot is thinking, in an actual fact they haven't been discovered at all, they can go ahead with the plant. So a couple of days, so it was due to

opening of November the fifth. On November the first King James, he's shown the letter that Mont Eagle was sent. In the letter one of the lines says, they shall receive a terrible blow this parliament, and yet they shall not see who hurts them. And the King suspects the phrase terrible blow hints at the use of gunpowder. Well, that's quite clever from the King. So he, or I'd be like a really bad gobi is coming to all of us. Oh, okay. No, that's good. You call your dick a lethal injection all fucking day

Can I can on I've been calling it that for several hours before we even hit record the double standards here outrageous Fine, I won't participate. I'll be happy for you Tell her young list is about a really bad goby, but not instruct them on how to engage in In consensual safe goby's. Concentral? Yeah, you've got to keep it central. Not the way I say he's suspicious about this terrible blow that's coming in.

He thinks gunpowder wrongly. The goby is coming. He doesn't know the goby is coming. Real unsatisfying. He reads the line. The goby is coming. I think there's gunpowder hidden somewhere. That is smart, but it's not, I mean, it's not a huge leap him figuring that out. It feels like

the letter should have could have been vaguer, right? Just like, it's going to be a bad day. They're going to put a fart bomb. They don't say bomb. They're going to fart, fart, television. No, wait, fart,'t say bomb. They're gonna fuck out. No, wait, fuck gunpowder. No, all right. There's gunpowder in the vault. Oh no, oh, how do I cross this out? This, pencils haven't been invented. I'm not starting again.

This parchment costs hapes. I've sent each of these letters. Like something hits send. Oh, cancel, cancel. Is that kind of your outbox or is that sent? I've sent each of these letters. That suddenly hits send. Cancel. Cancel. Is that going to be your outbox or is that sent? How do I know if it's been sent? I'm not going to have to break in.

No, computer room. It says it's already been seen by the king. This is so far back that they used to have computer rooms. Oh, I just downloaded it to a floppy disk. Did you get the Queen has an email address? Yeah. Look at it, it is. The queen at queen.all.

Queen.all. Queif at queen.all. What was the word for? Bequeaf. Bequeaf at queen.all. Bequeane. That's what she says to herself every night. She goes, well, bequeane and bequeaf.

Oh. I do say, move. I actually caught, I declare this Alright guys. I do say. So he thinks gunpowder. So the king orders an investigation and the king's privy cancel. Talk about ways of searching the premises without warning the conspirators. All the while Kate Spears completely unaware and he decides to go ahead with the attack.

They searched the premises quietly and the vaults are November the 4th and the search party spot a large amount of firewood in one of the sellers. They speak to the sellers attendant, Mr. Dwayne the John Johnson. And he coolly explains that the wood belongs to his master, the royal bodyguard Thomas Percy, and they're like, cool, we'll leave you to it, Mr. Johnson. And they leave. The king who seems to be the only non-fuck-wit in this story orders a second search at midnight and this time they find John Johnson, aka Guy Fox and this time he's in possession of fuses and matches and this time they finally arrest him. I would

have just said these fuses and matches belong to my royal bodyguard Thomas Percy. And they would have been like, cool. Peace, bequeath. Bequeath. As the king would say, bequeath. Broom. Broom. So he's finally rested.

The search party looked more closely at the firewood in the cellar, and they find 36 barrels filled with gunpowder. That's a lot of barrels, but also, ditch one or get four more. more closely at the firewood in the cell and they find 36 barrels filled with gunpowder. That's a lot of barrels, but also, ditch one or get four more. Are you kidding me? Sorry, just fucking hell. How many? 36. 36 nuts.

That's around number six, sixes. That's a, that's a, that's in a nice square, right? 9.4s, 12.3s. I don't mind the look of 36 either. So yeah, okay. 18 doubles. Well the look of 36 either. 18 doubles. Three dozens. You know you're both talking math to me. 36 singles. Do you know that? 40 minus 4. Do you understand what you're talking to me is like gibberish? I don't explain to you just the more bang the more bang. That seems dumb enough.

Yes, the more bang, the more... Bang. That seems dumb enough. Okay, not... I'm not so dumb that I didn't know that was an insult. Do we go on with your dumb little report? Fucko. Oh, I'm the dumb one. Yeah. I'm sorry, Justin.

You heard her. Fucko. Get on with the report. Sorry, Seth Twins. So, he's arrested. Guy Fox has taken to the King himself, but it insists that his name is John Johnson that he has no idea what they're talking about. Yeah, we know you're John Johnson, but you've been caught with explosives. No, I'm John Johnson.

Yeah, okay, we all agree. Your name is John Johnson. No, but my real name is John Johnson. It's not a fake name. Okay, no one ever said anything about me. No one ever said fake We're asking about the matches. You're making me feel your name might be fake John Johnson is not a fake name Why do you keep saying that it's not a fake name? It's John Johnson the rock. My name is not guy forks Not the rock the John Is your name the rock? No, okay, I, the John. Is your name the rock? No. I can't very confused.

I'm John the John Johnson. I thought you were Dwayne the John Johnson, five minutes ago. No, five minutes ago you were Dwayne the John Johnston. Oh, it's all unraveling. Well, dear. I'm real. I'm a real boy. We never said you were a boy.

So this guy's so famous is remember there are masks of his head and the thing he did was not explode a place. Or does he broke out and do something here? Is there more? I'm gonna keep going. Let him keep going. So at this point he's saying, I'm Dwayne the John Johnson. I've got no idea. I don't know who you are. The King, I don't know who the King is. The King gives the men permission to use torture to pry information out of forks. King James says, and they used forks.

They protted at him. It's forks. Don't make me use the forks. Oh, not the forks. You started with a spoon. You graduate to a fork. That's how it happens. Then it's displayed.

Use a spoon, it's dally you idiot. It'll hurt more. Hit him in the nipple with a fork. That's how it happens. Then it's displayed. Use a spoon, it's dollar you idiot. It'll hurt more. Hit him in the nipple with a spoon. In the nipple. Yeah. The King James says, the gentler torches are to be used first, unto him. And so by degrees, preceding to the worst, and so God speed your good work. So basically, start out like, and if he's not saying anything, you can get real. Build up to the nipple spoon. Yeah, nipples have finished with, for my final trick, the nipple spoon. Oh no! All right, I'm not John Johnson. Just make it stop.

Upon hearing of Forks Arrest, most of the plotters in London, including Thomas Winter and Thomas Percy, the two Toms, Fled the city to Dung Church in Warwickshire. The plotters escaped from London for the Midlands, which is this area. Rookwood was the fastest covering 30 miles and two hours on a single horse, which is a considerable achievement. Why is the Marital status of the horse so important? I was picturing a guy going fast like with his legs over two horses If you get nine there's nine horse power I didn't consider how dumb that sounded

I didn't consider how dumb that sounded. And he did it on what? Why he did it on two married horses. They were married to each other, interestingly enough. Oh shit, see I thought I'd got a great joke in there. He just came in and fucked my joke. So good. They moved across the Midlands where they'd planned the uprising. They were like, all right, the bombers aren't going off.

The bombers aren't going off. Let's do the uprising. Sorry, that's so loving. And he just loves it. He's doing so. He is doing so. He is doing so. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. He's dead inside. He's dead inside. What do you love, Sam? That's a lot of good horse stuff there. And your laugh is infectious, yes. It's like the bribonic plague.

So the bombers have gone off, but they decided to have the uprising in the Midlands anyway But that comes to nothing of course so they're on their own the plotters seized horses from Warwick and attempted to kidnap Princess Elizabeth anyway She's whisked away to safety well before they get to her so it's all falling apart Kate's be with nowhere to go decides to make a last stand in the Midlands and persuades the key plotters to join him and when it rains at pause and everything starts to go decides to make a last stand in the Midlands and persuades the keyplotters to join him And when it rains at pause and everything starts to go wrong for the men the gunpowder they had with them was damp From the pouring rain I mentioned and they decided to dry it by the fire

You know like you do with explosive materials when they get wet Oh Of course it explodes and John Grant one of Thomas Thomas Winter's cousins, is completely blinded. The house is then completely surrounded by over 200 men and Kate's B Percy and Wright all die in a gunfight. The others are wounded but survive and around it up and taken to the Tower of London for some interrogation. I don't sound fun. Yeah, imagine you probably would have preferred to die, right? It's either death or the nipple spoon.

Oh, god, nothing worse than the nipple spoon. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, and historians have compared his normal signature to that of his post-torchers signature and it's clear he could barely even hold a pen. Oh, shit. So they fucked him out. And he had no nipples left. Oh, he tried to sign with his nipples. He started with six nipples, which is a weird thing he had. He was a big man.

He sprained over six nipples. Yeah, it's fine for obviously which gives you multi nipples. He's in multi-nipple mode. Offspring mine off. Thomas Winter also gave a full confession after being interrogated in the tower. And now the king knows exactly who was involved. The eight surviving members in the end were put on trial

at what was essentially a show trial at Westminster Hall, the very place they'd intended to blow up. They all found guilty and are told their punishment, the traditional punishment for traitors, hanging, drawing and quarreling. Oh, that's not good. Which, if you're not familiar at home, they would be hanged until half dead. So choked until you sort of nearly out, upon which the genitals would be cut off. Oh, fuck, I didn't know what that, that's what that meant. And then it's sad, is it being, I thought you had a picture. And then what's the, it would,

ah, so drawn. Yeah, there, it means chopping off your cock. And then it would be burnt in front of you. They're thrown in a fire. Is that for real? Still alive at this point. Their bows and heart would be removed, also burned. Obviously dead when the heart goes.

Finally, your decapitated and dismembered their body parts cut in for either being publicly displayed or eaten by birds. Holy fuck, that's wild. It's real nasty. So that's that's used hyperbubble, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-uk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-uk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-Buk-uk-Buk-uk-Buk-uk-Buk He hung drawn in quarter by the press, and it means there's been an article about him that's not very nice. That generals have been cut off and thrown into a fire. No, and the interests have been removed in bed. Oh, you shit. That's gross.

It's real bad. Four of the men were executed in this way on January 30th, four, the next day, including Forks, who was able to avoid his fate in part when he either fell or jumped from the gallows ladder and died as a result of a broken neck. Oh, smart. So you didn't have to do the choking. So good. The cochlear moving all the disemboweling. Well played. How do I cut your dick off if you're a woman? First they attach one and then they're a moment. Oh, quite a painful surgery. Sometimes it doesn't take and there's multiple cocks that have to be tried

and I call it a law and then it's a long process. You don't want to be there, just. I die. Hyperbolicly speaking, of course. Hyperpollically. That was it, buddy. That was a little trick there. As I'm sure you can imagine, after this, things only got worse for Catholics. New laws were passed presenting them from practicing law, serving as officers in the army, or navy, or voting in local or parliamentary elections. Furthermore, as a community, there would be blackened for the rest of the century, and even blamed for the great fire of London.

Catholics weren't allowed to vote until 1829 after this. So this is 1605. Shit. And now I'm sure you've all heard of Guy Fork's Knight, which is funny that it's not called Robert Kate's B Knight, because he was the man in charge of it. It's just because Fork's was the one who was found. And he signed there.

There'd be confession. Yeah, interesting. So Guy Fork's Knight, this tradition stems back to the night Forks was arrested. Celebrating the fact that King James had survived the attempt on his life, people lit bonfires around London and months later, the introduction of the observance of the 5th of November Act enforced an annual public day of Thanksgiving for the Plots Failure. And these days, the event is commemorated every year with fireworks and burning effigies of Guy Forks on a bomb fire. Really?

Yeah, it's kind of all the details now. And that is the... All we try to do is kill the king. And every one of the king loves. And that is the story of the failed gunpowder plot. I actually knew none of that. Other than the name. I was a fan, I didn't know much. I'd never heard of Robert Katesby and I feel like he should be.

Yeah, I know that. The one that's remembered. But I knew that it came to a real disappointing end if from the plotter's point of view anyway. Yeah, totally. But didn't really. So that was King James. That was my great, great, great, great, great, great, great friend, King James

the first. In theory. Yeah, so it's funny because I was still barricading for them to win that. You were? Yeah, I was still hoping they'd get blown up. I'm sorry. Just like they were kind of assholes. And if they pulled it up, it would have been probably the most daring sort of assassination

in terms of all, because it's not just you Need you when they take out just the leader, which is crazy enough. Yeah, there's so many attempts that fail They would have killed the leader his whole family all the high ranking politicians. Yeah, it sounds like they're biggest Problems whether they told too many people and that they got unlucky with the thing being held off and held off You know, it's fun. I say I'm barricading for it. Obviously, I'm not supporting terrorism like that, Dave. Just to clarify you. Just to clarify. I think I just whenever you're doing a report from someone's perspective, I can't help but barric for them. That's because Dave's such a compelling storyteller. He's a great storyteller.

Thank you. And thank you, everyone, that suggested, especially Stuart Alcock on of our Golden Hat life members. Bequeaf with you. Bequeaf. Stuart. Guys, bequeaf. There's only one thing left to do on this episode, and that is to thank you for downloading it in the first place. And to thank everyone that supports the show at patreon.com slash do go on pod. Everyone that supports us over there gives us one, two, five, 10 bucks a month, chipping in, if you love the show, it really keeps us going. And you can get rewards in exchange like bonus episodes and a shout out, which we'd like to do now

to some of the Patreon people. Jesse, if you've got some people you'd like to thank. I would love to. And I think we should give them all fake names. I guy walked head jogs. That's a terrible fake name. Yeah bad fake names. Are we okay with that? Yes Okay, well, I would like to thank From Williams town here in Melbourne. I'd like to think Ruin Muskel

Could be Muskel Muskel What if his fake name is Rubin Muskel? Oh that would be a masculine, masculine. Double the name, Ruben. What if his fake name is Ruben, masculine? Oh. That would be a terrible fake name. Same spelling, different pronunciation. Yeah. That's his alias. That's his alias. Is that your final answer?

Ruben, masculine, or masculine? Degending. He's got mask in his name, so he's already hiding something. Yeah, what are you hiding, Ruben? Let us know. Sucked in Ruben, you fell for the oldest trick in the book. If you did, let us know then. Yeah, delete that tweet. Oh, no, I'm present.

I've already heard it. You have to come back into our computer room and delete it. Yeah, the do go on computer room. I was on William's sound beach. The other night. It's a lovely spot, Ruben. He live in a real nice town. The affluent west.

Beautiful. What a world we live in, where there's an affluent west now. And I was affluent everywhere. Anyone else you'd like to thank, Jess? Yes, I would also like to thank from Devon. Christopher Day Carey. Oh, Christopher Day Carey. I think that Guy Fox is probably is a much bigger deal in England.

Yeah. So I wonder if you knew all of that day Kerry. So his name is Christian Day Kerry. Christopher. Christopher, pardon me. Day Kerry. I kind of want to say like night Susan. That's great. I think that's really good. Yeah. First name? Night. Night, night Susan. Wow, that. Sir, sir night Susan. And is night the first one with a K, sir night, night Susan? No.

Okay, two nights. How about it? Sir night, night Susan from Devon. Night, night Susan. No, no. No, no. No, no. Sleptite, night, night Susan. No, no. No, not. Selected heart.

No, not. No, not. No, not. It's feels satisfying. Hey, would you guys modify, I think, from Cambridge. Oh. Also, another bloody English. And probably, he probably didn't get to the end of the

episode either because he knew it all, like the back of his hand. Mr. Stephen Bat. Oh. Bat with two T's. Two T's. He's a Stephen with a V, he's fake name. Stephen the P H, bat with one T. Okay, Dave, you don't really put

you a lot of effort into these fake names. I'm thinking, Charlie Charger. Oh, that's good. Charlie Charger. Charger. Are we gonna a good fake name? Is a good alliteration going.

Because you've gone Charlie Chaja. Charlie Chaja. Cha-cha. Bat battery. Cha-cha. Oh. Charlie Cha-cha. Very good.

Charlie Cha-cha from Cambridge. I love it. I love it. I love it. And also I love to thank. Thanks so much. Charlie Cha-cha. AKA Stephen Betton. Tell anyone. I'd also love to thank thanks so much Charlie Chajah aka Stephen Betton tell anyone

I'd also love to think from summer sad. Oh, we love it's a five-one to do summer's is that even right mid summer sat murders Ellie Nicholas. She got no Nick Nicholas I would like to call her what about think of a first night me think of a last night. I like right Christina Crouple crack That's great Your name is Christina Crouple Crouc that is correct sir and from summer

Daish Crouple Crouc Crouple Crouc That's good stuff Christina Crouple Crouc Crop-a-crock. Crop-a-crock. That's good stuff. Christina Crop-a-crock? Nah, but she can't be from Somerset that'll give the game away. You got to either fake the city's law. Cheshire. Cheshire. But set in a summer set. I've never met her. She's long.

From Chashar. I would like to thank, from Homestead in Florida, possibly already a fake name here. Airen Land. Oh, that name here. Airen Land. Oh, that's great. Airen Land. Airen Land. A-E-R-I-N. Jess, I'll give you the first name.

Yep, I've got the last name locked and loaded. Jess. Ocean. That's great. That's a badass. That's a super star name. Yeah, super star name. Frank Oceans.

Jess Ocean, Ayrin Land. See, you know, these people go into witness protection now and they're already sorted. Done. You probably didn't get to pick your own name, do you? Why not? I love picking names. Yeah, you probably, maybe you can.

I'm so good at it from all those use of playing the sins. Thank you, Jess Ocean, Ayrin Land. I would like to thank finally, and this is very cool cool because I don't often get people from here Being thanked to the end of the show all the way from Hong Kong Oh, which technically closer than Florida, but still seems rare as a patron supporter Carmen lie Oh, I'm in lie. I'm in lie. I'm like an instruction Carmen lie with me Oh, that's nice, but what fake name, you know, say?

Jess, this is all you. Give me your first name, Dave. Terrence. Truth. Oh, that's good. That's good. That's good. That's good lie. I feel like I'm going a bit too obvious by just doing opposites.

No, but Terrence truth work, because he didn't know I was going to say Terrence. I didn't. Oh, it was ocean, the opposite of something. Land. Land, great. No, but Terence Truth worked because he didn't know he was gonna say Terence. I didn't know. Oh, it was ocean, the opposite of something. Land. Land, great, okay. Oh, why? It was, it was real, it was real obvious. I got it.

Oh, so Terence, I picked, because that's the opposite of Carmen, obviously. Obviously, I know. Sorry. I get you logic. Thank you. Banana logic. Call back to that episode that met.

No. No. No. We gotta wrap this up. Thanks so much for everyone's that support the show at patreon.com slash do go on pod you can pledge there any time we always appreciate it and you can get in contact at any time on email do go on pod at gmo.com and it's at do go on pod on all the social media so reach out say hi put a suggestion in the hat the link is in the description of this episode if you want us to talk about something that you think is cool social media. So, reach out, say hi, put a suggestion in the hat, the link is in the description of this episode. If you want us to talk about something that you think is cool. Or not cool. Oh, yeah, fascinating and be great. Yeah. We'd love to hear about someone who completed a task though for once. Yeah, Bonnie, for sure. Hey, what are you? An actual

plan? John Johnson. Come on, John. Well, John failed and that is dick cut off. No, he didn't know. He didn't know. They're so spiteful, they probably would have cut it off, but even though it was dead. Yeah, right. I just want an excuse. Anyway, as we always say at the end of the show,

bequeath. Bequeath. Queep with you. Queep. And also, say hi to yourqueaf. Yeah. For me. God bless ourqueaf.

That'll do us. Thank you and goodbye. Later. Bye. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. It's not optional.

You have to do it. We used to go easy It's not optional, you have to do it. We used to go easy on it, but now you have to. Yeah. Yeah, you fucking nuts, comma, comma, comma, comma, comma, comma, go fuck yourself. Oh, that's going into the end. Who was she talking to? You'll never know.

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