Do Go On - 124 - Isaac Newton (with guest ANDY MATTHEWS!)

Episode Date: March 7, 2018

This week we are joined by friend, 'Two In The Think Tank' podcaster and self confessed "biggest Do Go On fan", Andy Matthews! Andy brings us a report about a scientific legend, Isaac Newton! This is a mammoth episode and it is a lot of fun.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSubmit a topic idea directly to the hat: http://bit.ly/DoGoOnHat Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

This week's episode is brought to you by shipstation.com. When you're selling online, getting your orders out the door quickly can be tough. That's why you need shipstation.com. Now you can try a ship station free for 30 days, plus get a special bonus when you use the promotion code, DGO. Dave? What does that stand for? I do go on.

I thought you were going to say something funny there. Andy? Damn, good one. Jess, can you say something funny? These two fucked it up. Don't. Jess is the worst of these. Go out there.

Is out there one word? Yes, the way I said it. Well done. That's all I want to say, Dave. Thanks, Ship Station. And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnacky and I'm here, as always, with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello, Jess and Matt.

Hello, Dave. Well, this is very exciting because there's not just three of us in the room right now. There's four of us. Are you pregnant? Yes, again. I could refer to Matt's large ego or something like that. No, pregnant, we'll go with that. That's good.

That's good. Now, we're here with my son that I just gave birth to Andy Matthew. Thank you. Hello, everybody. Thank you so much for having me on the show, Dad. It's great to have you here. And we are big fans of your work. Many people will know you from the Two in the Think Tank podcast.

Yes. I just know you from friendship. Thank you. Many of you may know me from friendship. And birth. And of course my recent birth. How was the news for being the first one to take place from a non-pregnant man on a podcast. Yeah.

Yeah. Why, you weren't even pregnant, Dave. I don't, well, I don't know. I'm not a doctor. That's what I'm trying to say. Right. Now, we knew that. How did you find the...

I thought he was the doctor of podcasts. That's true. You know, he never did that degree. Yeah, that PhD is very much pending. How did you find the birth of Andy? Quite pleasant. Okay. Yeah, I can imagine that.

Some people would say that having a beard would be uncomfortable. Sure. A bit scratchy on the way out. I actually found it quite smooth. Where's it coming out from? It being Andy. I'm confused by Andy being larger than you also. That's confusing for me.

He would have been wearing you like a puppet in that. If anything, we should be asking Andy how it feels to finally be free from that strange little cage he was in, that skin cage. You're a skin cage. We're all in a skin cage. All right? We're all pregnant with just a skeleton man or woman. woman who when we do eventually give birth to them will concern the doctors. Yes.

And not get likes. It would be like one of those ugly babies on Facebook, you know, who like, you look at it and you're like, it's a picture of a baby here. This should have at least 100 likes. And then you see a baby and it's got like 20 likes. You're like, when someone announces their engagement and get about 15, you think, oh, no. Yeah. People do not approve of this YouTube.

They will not last. I think that's a death now. And, yeah, I think a man-sized skeleton baby probably, like you'd be lucky to get one, ten. Sympathy likes. I'd say that would go viral. Yeah. I reckon that'll be pretty big news. I definitely think before I ever get engaged or married or have kids, I'm going to just do a bit of a survey of my friends first just to find out sort of how people are feeling.

Like, hypothetically, if I were to announce something like that, how would you respond to you? How many likes? Yeah, I want to know what I'm looking at. So you like Photoshop up a fake fiancé? Maybe. And mail bills. Sort of like the modern thing of asking the father for permission. Sure.

It's asking all your friends for validation. Yeah, and I want confirmation and a guarantee that I will have a certain number of likes. Facebook should set up pre-likes. Oh, wow. Book it is. Yeah, that is fantastic. Oh, I love that. Well, it's a big step, isn't it, to put something up there and you're not sure how it's going to go.

But if there was like just a little subsection or whatever where you get people to book in your prelikes, it's like a futures market, you're like, I know there's a market out there for what I'm going to post. Yeah. I can with confidence put this up. I might even do something sincerely online if that happened. If I could be guaranteed. That's right. I think it would also be a really handy tool in terms of assessing your relationship. Like you might think you love someone

But if you're only going to get 10 likes on an engagement post Something's not right Do you really love them? You mustn't love them You mustn't love them Your friends and family have spoken They don't love them You can do better

You know? It's fascinating There's a gap in the market And we'll all be rich Yep Let's lock that in before this podcast goes like Yeah Dave what's the show about again

Now if you haven't heard this show before One of us is going to do a report on a topic that the other three don't know what they're going to talk about and this week it is our friend Andy Matthews turned to report if you debut report

we've actually been talking about having you on for a long long time when we started the show and we talked about potential guests you were definitely out there thank you what happened so we've been very excited to have what I'm trying to say is we're very excited

that this fine your schedule of moving houses between rural Victoria and Melbourne CBD and back it's been an open invitation this whole time and I just said I'm going to redeem this. I hope it's still good. Yeah. And it was.

It was. And I think like, I don't know if you've had someone on the show before. We have, yeah. Who is as much of a fan of the show as I am because I'm also I think the biggest fan of DoGo One. So this is going to be a

nightmare of in-jokes. I spent some time trying to choose a topic based around various in-joke criteria that I wanted to tick off And in the end it got too complicated. So I was like, like, I've got to find somebody who's like from a family with lots of kids. Are you fan girling a little bit at the moment?

Yeah, yeah, I know, I am massively. All my fan girl bits are flopping around all over the place. Put them away. Fan girl to the max. But no, then I, then I. I came up with a different topic. Would you like me to introduce the topic now? Yes. Well, usually we start with a question. Oh, I know. I know. Look, I didn't want to, I just thought you were going to say, the topic is, and I was going to say, look, you're clearly not the biggest

fan. I'm aware of the question, much more aware than you guys seem to be with your, once again, I haven't thought of a question. But that being said, I was very cocky about my ability to come up with a question very early on in the report writing. And then as the date approached, the question seemed to allude me further. And I actually only just came down to the final decision very, very recently. So... Are you stalling because you still haven't decided that? No, what are you talking about?

Here's my question. Okay. Who is the person? Okay, it's a person. Okay. Or just who? Who is the person who is most notorious for... Looking at fruit.

Oh, no, I'll give you a hint. It's a person from history. Oh, okay. Is it that comedian that headbutts watermelon? Do you reckon he does that eyes open, or do you reckon he closes his eyes? I thought you were talking about yourself for a second. You're talking about Gallagher. Gallagher.

Sorry, I'm the person who humps and then headbutts watermelon. But do you look at it beforehand? Oh, I'm like lights off. No, I'm just staring. Yeah. Is it Eve? Eve? She probably had a good look.

She would have had a good look before she popped it. I really eyed off that apple, didn't she? Is it the dad from the Cotty's ad where the song was, My Dad picks the fruit? You got a look at it to pick it, don't you? You're just putting your hand in a tree? You're maniac. Yeah, no, you wouldn't do that.

I have a genuine answer. Is it Isaac Newton? It's Isaac Newton. Yeah! Famous fruit observer, Isaac Newton. Why are you clapping? We never clap. Well, it's excitement.

And you actually got it right. And it's a sciencey kind of one and the idiot got it. I realised that, well, it's appropriate then because that didn't actually happen. That's a myth that he looked at fruit. So while he is famous for doing it, he probably never actually did it. Never saw fruit. Your idiot status is preserved. Yay!

Like a good fruit. In a jam. Oh, preserve. Very good. Well, here we go. Isaac Newton was. born on January 4th, 1643. A good year.

Thank you. I'm real hard right now. He pointed it to Chess. In Walsthorpe, Lincolnshire, England. Right, so he was born on January 4th, 19663. 1643, but when he was born, that's on our current calendar. When he was born, they were using a different calendar called the Julian calendar. Currently, we use the Gregorian.

Gregorian calendar. Pope Gregory. I didn't realize that had changed so recently. I don't have that information. But sometime between then and now. Yeah, sometime between then and now, it was sort of phased in. And I think actually, like Greece only got the modern calendar in like 1928 or something like that. What did we gain or lose?

I'll tell you. The Julian calendar. Which took effect in 45th BC by edict. It was the predominant calendar in the Western world until it was refined and gradually replaced by the Gregorian calendar. It has the same months and same month lengths of the Julian calendar, but in the Gregorian calendar, years evenly divisible by 100 are not leap years,

except for years divisible by 400. Did you know that? Fucking what? That years divisible, in our current calendar, if a year, like every four years is a leap year, unless it's divisible by 100 when it's not apparently. So the year 2000 was not a leap year? I guess.

Unless I'm completely wrong. That's one of those things that I just wait until someone tells me. I'm not there going. Oh, next year, that's four years, another leap year. I'll wait until if someone doesn't tell me it's a leap year. I'll assume it's not a leap year. That's my system. That's the mattoean calendar.

Not a leap year until proven innocent. Innocent. Yes. Is Gregorian from like, what, Pope Greg or something? Pope Gregory. There's a Pope Greg. That is my favourite fact so far. I think it's Pope Greg the 16th.

What? There's heaps of Greg. In the year 2000, there was a February 29. I just looked it up. No. So, what is that man? Greg's a liar. Okay, well, okay.

In that case, I am somehow wrong. Wait, oh, maybe that one's divisible by 400. Oh, it is. It is. It is. So there you go. Oh, Dave's always talking about it's good of maths. So you're saying that the year 1900.

That's right. Would not. Anyway, all of this is not relevant. The only point is that on the calendar that he had, he was actually born on December 25th. So he was born on Christmas Day. Oh. Christmas.

Miracle. You'd have to adjust your birthday. Which if you're a Christmas baby, you'd probably want to do. Yeah. I hope they get a new calendar in soon. Yeah. About bloody time we get a new calendar So I don't have to double up on presents

Isaac Newton was the only son of a prosperous local farmer An only kid Yeah Well they definitely know what called No sorry only son Oh hello Could have had sisters They didn't bother mentioning

I looked at several resources that did not mention Just not counted So there you go His father was a yeoman farmer Yoman He farmed yeoman Well, I think we all know what that is We can just move on

Yeah What's a yeoman As far as I can tell It just means like a farmer So anyway He wasn't like a big landlord But he was doing well He says yeoman around the countryside

Yep Yomen and the How does he greet people Yomen, Yoman Yomin Yomin So his father was also Called Isaac Newton What are the chants

Is that? Anyway died three months before he was born. Before his son was born or before he was born? Which, Isaac, do you know we talking about? I hear you ask. Is that somebody with the calendar? The calendar changed or actually died before he was born.

If divisible, 500. Right. On the Gregorian calendar, he was, he died at 48. Can I point out something quite interesting? Yes. Andy, we'll find it interesting. No one else will. If you look at the iPhone calendar at the year 1900,

if you look at it in a month view, it says Feb 29 exists. But if you click on February, the 29th disappears. There is no Feb 29 of the year 1900. I didn't know that. Of course you didn't because it was 1900. Why would you know that? Why the fuck would you need to know that?

I feel better knowing. I'm ready to die. So, yeah, that's great. Isaac was born tiny and weak, apparently. Oh, you did link it to Dave. You chose someone. But Dave remained that way for the rest of his life. Hopefully, Isaac grows up big and strong.

And I think that's an interesting fact, unless the person who put this fact online didn't know what babies are. So feeble. He only weighed three kilos. You think you'd die. I thought men just came out of you, fully formed, no skin. Well, you did? Yeah, skeleton muscle man.

Came out of me? When he was not expected to survive, but he didn't. When he was three years old, his mother. He's still alive. Is that what you mean? Yeah. He wasn't expected to live, but he still alive. Wow.

Still going. That is surprising. That is very surprising, especially because he was. born a baby when he was born three years old his mother Hannah A's cough

Hello manna Hello Fana Her name was Hannah Aiskoff Newton Aze cough You don't meet many Azecoffs Not many Beautiful name for a woman

Iskof Is that one word Yeah A Y S C-O-U-G-H A-S-C-O-G-H A-C-O-O-G-H A-C-O-O-W-E-C-C-O-E-C-O-E-C-O-E-C-C-E-C-E-C-E-E-C-E-E-E-C-E-E. Thank you for

for acting out her name I don't have a guess. She remarried to a well-to-do minister called Barnabas Smith. Oh, that's a classic. We now call Ace Cough's Farts. It gets pronounced. It's those British pronunciations. They trip you up, don't they?

We've anglicised it. From the English. We've anglicised and eaten the fuck out of it. It was English to begin with. Anyway, so she went to live with her new Barnabas, and left young Newton in the care of his grandmother. Oh, what? Was her name also Isaac Newton?

You wouldn't believe it, yes. Wow. You can take a kid with you. You can do that. No, she wasn't into it. But you can't make him drink. He was so small and weak. Fair.

Anyway, apparently this had an effect on him in case you were wondering. His mum leaving him, imagining him. Yeah. I don't know. What a pussy. What it says here. Isaac apparently hated Smith, her father's new husband. But he had no connection with him during his childhood.

He had much more to do with his... Father's new husband? Mother's new husband. Mother's new husband. I'm sorry, I'm making a lot of mistakes. You're nervous. You're flustered. I'm very excited.

He had a lot more to do with his uncle, who was the rector of Burton Coggles, which I've just put in because I love those words. Rector of Burton Coggles, none of that is. That's gibberish. You put that on a business card. Pleased to me. I'm available for anything you might need. What do they make, rectories?

Rector of Burton Coggles. Oh. Sorry. I've heard of you on LinkedIn. Some sort of Middle Earth job, I would think. Yeah. Do you have any idea what it means? He's a wizard.

Oh, right. Yeah, basically. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Just say wizard, Andy. He was a wizard. At age 12, he was reading.

united with his mother after her second husband died. So she's having a good run. A bit of a pattern forming here. Very interesting, Hannah. Aiskoff. Newton. Hescoff, Newton Smith, is that her name now? Sure.

Yeah, no, probably, quite possibly. He was enrolled at the King's School in Grantham, a town in Lincolnshire, where he lodged with a local apothecary. Oh. I was just in Adelaide and they have an apothecary. I said that wrong, didn't I? So they have an apothecary? I walked past a few times wondering what that was.

I'd look cool. Try again to say it. Apocatheri? No, apothecary. That's very good. I've spoonerised it. That's not even right. An apothecary is like a shit chemist.

It's like a pharmacist. It's like before they had any genuine medicine. So it's just basically a lunatic with a shop. front. Herbs. Yeah, herbs. Giving you herb, leeches. They still have them in Adelaide. Arsenic, get a bit of arsenic on that. When you said God's, king's school, is that where you learn to be a king? It was, yes. Yeah.

It wasn't very well attended. No. But they aim high as well. Selective entry, you know. Right. So you'd have to sit an exam before you get in and the exam says, are you the son of the king? Yeah. And if you don't get it right, you don't get in. Right.

He was amazingly. While he was lodging with the apothecary, he was introduced to the fascinating world of chemistry. And they got along well. His mother pulled him out of school at the age of 12. Wait. That doesn't make sense. She put him in the school when he was 12 and then pulled him out again when he was 12.

She quickly realized. She dipped him in and out like a teabed. Yeah. She quickly realized he wasn't the son of the king. Exactly. You've got to get out of there. No, I think maybe I made a mistake. He may not have gone in when he was 12, but he was pulled out when he was 12.

And he was reunited with his mother when he was 12, and she came along and pulled him out. Big year. Big year. Whipped him out. And her plan was to make him a farmer and have him tend to the family farm. A yeoman? As a yeoman. Yep.

Or yo boy. Yo boy, yo boy. Raw hide. And as he, but he was, he was a shit farmer, possibly because he was 12. And he was farming shit. And he was farming. That's a sewage. The brown officer.

It's the sewage farm. Surage farmer. No, yeah, it's just that. Poo-man, Poo-man. How do we get to Raw Hide? Dave just went there. It's from all the wiping. Okay.

Poo-man. God, he's fast. He spent. most of his time solving problems, making experiments, and devising mechanical models. Okay. So he wasn't very interested in farming. He was tinkering. He was a tinkerer.

And so his mom got sick of this and sent him back to school until his uncle persuaded his mother to send him to Cambridge. Where because he was poor, he was subsequently, he subsequently, he waited on tables and took care of wealthier students' rooms. He was just sitting on tables waiting for. Waiting. I don't know what for. Someone to give him money or something or be told to. leave. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like, hopeful. It's hopeful if nothing else. You don't have to force a joke. I thought that was very good. Waiting on tables. All right. Nah, you're shit, Matt.

That was crap. Jess and I are friends and we don't like you. Yeah, I get it. But I thought it's interesting that, like, if you couldn't afford to go to uni, I guess that was the aversion of, like, new start or something. You can just, like, help out around the place. look after the riches. So Cambridge was always like a top end school.

Yeah, it was really big. And Cambridge, they actually had a seat in Parliament. Which, yeah, which later on he took up. Like just a chair. They just had a chair in there? There was a chair in there. Geez, I've misunderstood some things. Andy said today.

Well, I mean, that's not even a joke because, yes, they had a seat in Parliament. I don't know what to do. I don't think you misunderstood it, Matt. I think you just appreciate it. I'm pretty sure that means that they also had a human that they were allowed to put on that chair. That is true. The seat that they had, they were allowed to put a man on it. See, that's the real value there.

So he started out waiting on tables and later he waited on chairs, which is much more dignified. Good for him. That is, their old system was wild, though, because it used to be just rich people in one house and then elected people in the other house. It's not still like that, is it? House of Lords. Oh, they still have rich people, yeah. So one house is still just the...

It's crazy. Jukes and stuff? Yeah, it's really weird. Earls? Yeah. Like Andrew Lloyd Webber, for example. Wait, he's in... He's got his seat.

I think you only stepped down recently after about 30 years. Really? Famous billionaire. What's the female equivalent of an Earl? It's probably Dame. Dukes and... No, dames and jukes? Dames and sers.

about earls. Yeah. Baroness is a baron. Yeah. Earl. Is it girl? Earl's and girls. That's it.

That's it. It'd probably be something. Girlie, early. And prior to commencing his studies, he was required to take a vow of celibacy. That's interesting. No, fucking. None of that. While he's studied.

Yeah. While is at uni. That's the prime time. You're married to the textbook. Tell me about it. I mean, how binding is this vow? It's a pretty binding vow. I mean, a vow is quite binding.

But then being bound up, some people find sexy. Yeah, that's true. That's a real... It's a double bind. Which is another bind, which makes it a triple bind. Oh, my God. So... Oh, and that's so sexy.

Yes. I just like being caught up in administrative... It makes me all hot and bothered. I like to fill out forms for like half an hour before we do it. Life admin, you know. Got to send some emails. I like to fill out a spreadsheet first. Before you spread me on the sheets.

All right. Andy did regret face. I think he was mainly regretting putting himself in that scenario. He could have put anyone in there. But he said before spreading me on the shape. And that was, I think, where he... It would be pretty strange if you'd said, yeah, before spreading Dave on the sheets. Yeah, that'd be weird too.

It could have been someone. Yeah, that's true. I mean... Maybe he was doing like him. That would have been great. Imagine spreading vegemite on the sheets. No, that's no good at all. I don't know why I thought that'd be good.

That's messy. It seemed like a great idea. It's like, this will be fun. Like most of you're really. universities in Europe, Cambridge was steeped in the Aristotlian philosophy and a view of nature resting on a geocentric view of the universe. So they, even though like most, or a lot of smart people had worked out that the earth wasn't at the centre of the universe, I guess just because that's the way they'd always done it at the

university, that was the way they still taught everything. Sticklers, aren't they? They're sticklers. Stickled in the mud. and yeah, they thought the Earth was its inner universe and they believed a lot of Aristotle's stuff. Aristotle, I've written here, was a genius, but also a total moron. The best people are.

Well, yeah. Jess has a hand-up on an audio podcast. Thus proving her point quite well. So you can explain the moron. Well, Aristotle, if you ever tried to get your head, around any of like ancient Greek philosophy or anything like that? No. It's, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, heaps. Yeah. It's like they tried to work out everything in the universe, but they didn't have science. So they were literally just making it up and then basing it on like riddles and religion. And you read it. It's still very important and interesting, apparently, and responsible for a lot of modern thought. but trying to get your head around,

it just seems like total garbage. Like, it's just the stuff. It just sounds like everyone was just stoned at a party at 3am and just trying to work stuff out. He was one of the characters on Bill and Ted's excellent adventure, I'm pretty sure. So maybe it had something to do with that when he was plucked out. When they went back, they probably left some doobies.

Yeah, yeah. I reckon there was some dobs. Doobes. There you go. I love. watching Andy say dobies. I don't want to harsh your vibe, man. I felt very comfortable with it.

I don't know what you were picking up on. Probably my level of comfort. It was an uncomfortable level of comfort. It was intense. And although he graduated without honours or distinctions, if it's won him the title of scholar and four years of financial support for future education. So I don't know.

So if you were getting distinction, what are you getting like a yacht or something? Yeah, two yachts, maybe. I mean, if you're getting four years of free education and you're not even very good. I don't understand. I can't get my head around. Look, education now you have to pay for and stuff

and we're supposed to have come a long way. But I don't get it. I don't see why they couldn't have given him that before he had to wait on the tables and clean students rooms and stuff. Anyway. It's like, I could have used those four years of education for my four years of education.

Yeah. I've just done those. Can we retrospect that shit? So far, right? So that's a lot of like tinkering and stuff, but not, no one's expecting all that much for it. Okay? But now we get a really good name, Humphrey Babington. That's a great name.

Maybe is that? That's towards the top of the list. We've got to get that. Oh, we're going to get a list. A babington. Babington. Humphrey is a great start anyway. Humphrey is fantastic and then Babington.

Yeah, that's got to be top ten. Oh, that's good stuff. Yeah. Like some of the names that we've lost track of like Aeskov, I'm like, that's fine. That makes sense. I'm happy to have lost it. But where are the babingtons? Yeah.

Where are they? Show yourselves. You'd think there'd be way more babingtons around just from, you know, natural selection or whatever. But interesting. Maybe that's to change their names. Oh, for some reason. All the Babington's went into witness protection. Mole people.

Really? Wow. All of them. It's an ancient mole person. Heaps a hot moles. Anyway, so Humphrey Babington, he was one of the senior fellows at a Trinity College. He was the brother of a woman whom Newton lodged with while he was a student. and he, although it was not established beyond doubt,

it seems that he may have helped him to get appointed to like to get this stuff at Trinity, get the extra education and stuff like. So it's like who you know or who is the brother of the woman that you lodge with. As they say. Yeah, it's the networking. That's where that saying comes from. Wow. It's not what you know.

It's not what you brother of the woman that you lodge with. with, it's who you brother of the woman that you lodge with. Yeah. That's expression. Anyway, so we went back to, stayed at uni, and then in 1665, the Great Plague came to Cambridge and forced the university to close, and he was away for two years. That's great. So you just got four years of free education, and he just lost two.

To the plague. It's like a plague day. It's like a snow day, but like two plague years off. You know, when you wake up. up in the morning and like you look out the window and everyone's got the plague and you're like, it's going to be a day off school. Yeah. Yes.

It's going to be two years off school. Yeah. You look out and everyone's just got pus exploding from their buboes. And you'd be your high-fiving and saying, thanks, mate. Yeah. As you skateboard down the street. Or you get out your toboggan and you'd probably toboggan on all the puss or something like that down the hill. Those were the days.

Do we mention the Great Plague last week? Yes, we did. So there's the same sort of time frame? That was... There's been many plagues, haven't there? Yes, actually, it was around for several hundred years coming and going. Right. Well, it's coming at this stage.

1665. They call it the Great Plague, but I don't know if that's the same as the Black Death. I suppose I should have looked into that. It's got to be right. The Black Death is the one that was like killing like half of Europe. But then it would go away and then come back. Right.

That's how great it was. Oh, come back. Encore. It would leave and everyone's like, oh, encore. And they don't turn the lights back on in the gig. So you're like, it's going to come back. It's going to come back. But you still get excited when it comes back.

Yeah. And you feel, like you feel, I don't know, tingling or something. Yeah. Itchy. Yep. A bit of leaking. Coffing. Here we go.

Here it is. Oh, is that pus? They're doing the big hips. But, but. During these two years off from uni, he was very prolific, and he came up with the original theory of calculus, which he called fluxions and the binomial theorem for expanding mathematical equations,

and he developed his theory of gravity, that every particle of matter attracts every other particle. That's a pretty big one. People didn't realize that at the moment at the time. Yeah. Right? So, like, people didn't realize that the same thing that holds the moon in orbit around the earth

is the same thing that like holds us on the ground and makes rocks fall down and stuff. They're like, well, those are totally separate things for some reason. And this is the time in which he would, in theory, have seen an apple falling off the tree and come up with the theory of gravity. Do you talk about where that myth came from? I do not, no.

No, do you want to make up something now? Yes. Great. He was actually looking at an orange tree. See, that's the myth, right? And, you know, it just got away from history and they've run with it. That's feel like a pretty lame myth. Like if they're trying to sex up his story a little bit, make it a bit more interesting.

It feels more like maybe like a teacher was trying to explain it and that's like the kind of story they'd use. I think like a lot of the myths back in that time, they had a lower standard for myths in general, I think. And I think... It's also a time they believed in witches and dragons and stuff. Lower standard. Lower standard. You could get anything through as a myth in that time. Witches are secretly stealing our children and controlling our minds.

A man saw an apple fall out of a tree. The list goes on. Slow down. Going to sell the film rights to this one. It's going to be big. Yeah. That actually changed a lot. Didn't it the movie big?

It ended up, started out being a movie about a guy, watched an apple. ended up being about Tom Hanks growing up real quick. You know what it's like when the network execs get their claws into these things? Sidney Shineberg gets his hands on a script. So he did some calculations to try and prove that this was the case, and he wasn't successful, like proving that the moon is held in place by the same thing. Like his calculations came out wrong, but it didn't stop him from believing it, apparently. And that is good science.

I was going to say that is sort of the opposite of what they teach you should do. Yeah. And while Newton is sort of the father of modern science in many, many ways and is credited with a lot of the scientific method, which is like taking observations of the universe and testing them and making theories, so often it seems like he did things totally the opposite way.

He just was like, this is what it is, and I'll prove it. Somehow. Yeah, I'll get back to you. And it's just, that he was a genius and he was right most of the time. Right. So it wasn't just lucky guesses. So there's not like a hundred things that he said were factual,

that actually stupidly wrong. We'll get on to that a bit because he also, particularly later in his life, went a bit weird. All the grades do. Yeah. Matt? Yeah. I'm in my weird years.

Yeah. Oh, we know. He also came up with the three laws. of motion, Newton's three laws. Loka. Yes, Jess. E.

And? No, I've got nothing. I would like to second that. Forward. Yeah, very good. Yeah, great. No, does anybody know Newton's laws and motion? Do you care?

Do you want to do this? I think everything has an equal and opposite reaction. That's the third one. That's very good. For every action force exerted by an object, there is an equal and opposite reaction force exerted on that object. That's a big one.

To just say it, but more difficult to understand. Yep. Anything else? Loka, is one from, I think. He also came up with the first law of motion, which is that everything will keep moving unless you put a force on it. So, like, if you throw, that's one like a spaceship floating through space, just keeps floating forever and everywhere.

So I say everybody's doing. a brand new dance now. Exactly, because they don't... Because no one's there to stop them. And you guys said I was the idiot. And the same thing that things won't move unless you put a force on it. Like if something's sitting still, it won't move if you put a force on it.

And the second one, which is an equation about that the force is proportional to the acceleration and the mass of the object. Sorry, I just smashed a microphone. a lot of maths you put on that. Yeah, I did, and we saw a reaction. Yes. So is that the theory that everything falls at a similar speed? Is that one being put into practice?

Everything falls at a similar speed. Well, sorry, everything. Oh, no, I'll stand by that. I'll stand by that. Oh, sorry. Yeah, no, so you're right. Well, things accelerate at the same rate. Yeah, so if you drop a bowling ball, but you drop a peanut out of a plane, they'll fall at the same. Wow, that's fascinating.

That is the case if there was no atmosphere. So on the moon, on the moon, that is correct. In a vacuum, everything is sour-aged. Yeah, but how often, Dave, are you dropping a peanut and a bowling ball in a vacuum? Well, have you ever seen a vacuum ad that are obsessed with bowling balls for some reason? Have you ever seen Dave go bowling? Have you ever seen Dave in a vacuum? With a peanut?

He cannot hold onto it. It's slipping out of his little hands. It's like one of those game shows where you've got to, there's like a win box and you've got to grab cash. I'm trying to grab peanuts. And bowling balls. It's a ball. Oh, it fucking hurts. Oh, I've got a penis.

Not, I ate it. It's an entertainment. That's a nightmare. It's a radio play there. But yeah, so in a vacuum, so if you're in a vacuum, like if you're on the moon, if you drop a balling ball and a feather. A bowling ball. A bowling. Yeah.

You know when you go bowling? Yeah. I do. As a baller. I'm a baller. Yeah, yeah. And I ball regularly. Yep.

Yep. I take my bowling ball. Yes. And sometimes I go bowling and sometimes it's on the moon and sometimes I drop it. Bowling. And drop a feather at the same. time that like hit the ground or whatever the moon's version of the ground is the moon ground demand i feel like i derailed it was that anything to do with that second law yeah that's relevant

to that second law oh thank goodness i thought i was talking shit no that's great dave good job dad so those are the three love science yep big three laws anyway those are very relevant i learned them in high school what about this what's heavier a ton of feathers or a ton of bowling balls Hang on. Yeah. Do you mean ton like in terms of weight or do you just mean like a ton of them? Like you know when you got like a ton of stuff? He's very good.

I mean like a ton of stuff. Yeah, just got a ton of just got like a ton of bowling balls over there a ton of feathers over there. It's bowling balls. Yes, correct. Well done. He's good, isn't he? Did he try and come up with a fourth law and just couldn't?

No, he just appreciated the comedy rule three. The rule three. I'm glad that he's. How do you feel about the rule of three, Jess? Big fan. Okay. So three is okay. That's a round enough number.

I hate three. Okay. The three is actually a number that comes up a lot in my life. It's the magic number, Jess. All Jess's jokes is like nine examples and then the punchline. She really beds down the concept. It's the Perkins rule of ten. Yep.

You see her counting them off on her fingers. Here we go. And you know when it's coming. but it's much more satisfying because it's a round number. Yeah, exactly. You get it. A lot of people will lose count by then, so they're still surprised. Yep.

I thought that was only nine. No, it was 10. So he also developed techniques for grinding lenses into shapes other than a sphere. There you go. So before that lenses were just spheres. Yeah, we'll just like curve like a circle, right, which you can use for like focusing to a certain extent. actually the best lenses are different shapes.

So if you want to make a telescope or a magnifying glass, it's not like a slice of a... Because my glasses, right? They're not like half a... Half a ball. Half a glass ball. They're three quarters of a glass ball. They're three quarters of a glass ball. I'm peering through...

A real bulbous. Bulbous goggles there. But yeah, so there are better shapes and he worked out ways to make those accurately. So he did all of this in his two years off from school. Oh. would never go back. Yeah.

He's turned to corner. I'm starting to understand why this guy is well known. Well, is he, though, because he didn't tell anybody about any of that stuff, right? And that is a thing that, like, continues throughout his life. He's really, really reluctant to, like, publish any of his work. Is that out of embarrassment or because he wants to make cash? It's sort of out of embarrassment. I think he's very, what you see later on, he cannot handle criticism of,

any kind. Because his mum left. I think this is one of the things. Like he's, yeah, he's worried about being judged or being disliked or abandoned or something like that. So it's all comes, it's his mum's fault. You know? Judging, I'm going to judge her parenting

and saying, oh my God. Yeah, bad mother. Oh, my God. Don't do that, Andy. Well, I'm sorry, but A's cough can fuck off. You can say here. You can say here. Thank you. He also wrote a paper about infinite series.

And I've got a joke written down here. It's good to announce it. All right. Hit us with the joke. We are not intelligent enough probably to recognize that it was a science joke. He wrote a paper about infinite series. I've written, like the Simpsons. Because it keeps buddy going.

And also it was just like you wanted to get in an in-joke because we talk about the Simpsons. And you talk about the Simpsons. That's great. All the time. We do normally back and. our jokes, not as much to announce it. Yeah, yeah. There was the joke. We're a bit like Isaac Newton where we don't like criticism.

So we defend our jokes. Right, after the fact. Yeah. That was a joke, you fuckheads. Yeah. Well, if you were like Isaac Newton, you wouldn't tell anyone your jokes at all until one of your friends, like, told somebody else about it or forced you to publish it somehow or other.

And then if people didn't laugh, you'd get furious. Forced publish. Pretty much. Bloody hell. So anyway, he wrote it. a paper about infinite series, right? And he, like the Simpsons, and he shared it with his friends. Very good.

That is good. And he shared it with his friend and mentor Isaac Barrow. So many Isaacs. So many Isaacs. What are they? Hanson? There was an Isaac and a Zach in Hanson. An Isaac and a Zach.

Really? That's wild. And what was the other one's name? Taylor. Are you sure it wasn't just the same guy referring to himself in the third person? I, Zach. Early on, he made that mistake. Oh.

Oh dear That is wild by the parents They loved Zach I'm pretty sure they had about nine children They ran out of names As we all know There's only eight And Isaac was one of the older kids

There was also a Jay Zach A Kay Zach So it just comes back around Yeah MZack Start the process again Were they more Hansons Than we're in the band

Oh what a life they have Brutal Do you reckon they had auditions Oh Within the family Probably Yeah Brozac didn't not get in

I would Prozac He was very good. He was good. He was already making too much cash. So he shared this paper with his friend. He wouldn't normally tell anybody anything. So he shared with a friend.

And Barrow shared the unaccredited manuscript because he didn't include his name as the author even when he gave him this paper. And he shared the unaccredited manuscript with a British mathematician called John Collins, who identified the author. And he said it just verbally. It was like, the author is Mr. Newton, very young,

but of an extraordinary genius and proficiency in these things. That's not bad. Genius and proficiency. And young. Yes. These are all desirable things. What a catch. To be young again.

He's really ugly though. Yeah, my picturing him right, looks like a judge with a wig head. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, I've got a description of him later on. Do you want me to go to the description now so you can picture him or have a later? No, great. Don't let us disturb you.

That is a good wrap up, very young, extraordinary genius and proficient. And very ugly. What a dog. John Colin said that. The dog-faced man. No, he's quite striking. Like he's got a good, quite like,

his very shapely face. A lot of, like, features and stuff. A lot of scars. No, no, no, but just three noses. Like, like, maybe not ugly, but like you wouldn't get bored looking at his face. Okay. Yeah.

I don't think there's many people that I've, I've looked at and gone, ugh, bored. Yorn. Yeah. God, I'm sick of looking at that face. But you're not a genius. I like this guy. What do you mean?

I thought we just, we agree that I was a genius and a moron. It was Aristotle. Newton's, his work was brought to the attention of the mathematics community for the first time. What a fun community. I know. Pack of fucking nerds. Yep, definitely a genius. Go surfing or something, you fucking nerds.

Go outside. You just tell a bunch of English people to go surfing. Maths is dumb. Who needs it? Pythagoras? More like, fuck off. This is all in my report. It's amazing that you're getting all of this.

I can read your screen here. They all said. So he was, people knew about him now for the first time. So his name's getting out there. And Barrow, Isaac Barrow, he resigned his professorship at Cambridge and Newton,

assumed the chair. A bit like when Obi-1 let Darth Vader kill him so that Luke can be the new professor of the ship.

Andy, can you go on there? He assumed the chair what? So he just stopped mid-sensement would be really comfy so he had a, he sat in it. Had a sit, had a little sit? That makes sense, sorry. And do you think that he

stepped down because he was old or was he like you're better than me you should be in this chair a lot of people with these jobs just seemed to they stayed in them until they were dead right so i think he he must i reckon i reckon there's a good chance that he saw how good this guy was and was like let's get him in i i can't compete um that's great so he's got a a nice sized ego that a lot of people would just fight on right yeah no i'd i'd say healthy yeah he's so you know he's got self-regard, but he doesn't need to prove anything. Yes.

You know, and when he sees somebody coming along, he's like, oh, here you go. Was this a famous guy? I missed his name. Obi-1. This is Isaac Barrow. This is just another guy. Oh, this is Barrow. Yeah, yeah.

So this was his job as a professor at the university, right? He lectured once a week for half an hour for one term of the year, dictating these lectures so far as fast as they could be written down. Right? So that was... Half an hour. Once a week. for maybe a quarter of the year.

That's a good geek. So like 10 lectures a year or something. 10 half hours. It was a different calendar. Five hours. Different calendar. There was 900 weeks. But he would let students come and ask him questions about the lecture for four hours.

For four minutes. One day a year. That would be intimidating, right? What was he like as a person to chat to? Do you know, do you have that kind of intel? Yeah, I do. I do, actually. Yeah, not good.

Right. Not good. He was sort of vague, like he was always thinking about other stuff, and he would take offence at really things that people hadn't really said that were offensive. Like he seemed to be very sensitive. Yeah. So anyway, so it would have been a fun four hours. But he was doing basically a four-hour work week, which I think is very ahead of his time.

Very modern. Did he invent that? Put a lot of money into like shares and Bitcoin and stuff. Right. God is good. Yeah. We'd die. and health routines.

What's that guy's name? Pete Evans? I don't know. Talking about Tim Ferriss? Tim Ferriss. The four-hour podcast. Oh, so is that who that is? Right.

I was trying to do a reference to something. I had no idea what it was. I think you're in the same sort of ballpark, only I think Tim Ferriss might be a bit more legit than Pete Evans, although I have no idea, either. I mean Pete Evans is the judge on My Kitchen Rules. Yeah, he is, but he has weird food stuff. Yeah, that's right.

He's a caveman. Paleo. But I think he's more than happy to work for more than four hours a week. Yes. And get paid millions of dollars. Good man. So he spent a lot of time investigating light. It's very interesting in light.

Okay. And here's an extract describing an experiment that he did. So this is from reading from his diary, which is like in old English. So I'll try and, well, not old English, but it's like, you know, before they had spelling. and like sentences and stuff. Yeah, it's relatively old, Andy. I think 400 years you could call that old English. It's all relative, man.

And by the way, do you guys know what a bodkin is? Yeah, obviously we all know what a bodkin is. We can move on from bodkins. But for the idiots at home, what is a bodkin? Would it give you a clue if I'm about to tell you that he pokes the bodkin in behind his eyeball? Is that his partner or? It's like a four point pen. I think.

You're close. It's just a needle. A needle. So it's like a curved needle. It's a bodkin. And he actually did that? So if you, yeah. So anyway, I'm going to give you much more detail, Matt.

So get ready. I don't know if I want to. And if you want to picture what this looks like, there's a lot, this English, there's a lot of like extra E's on the ends of words and stuff. Like, took has got an E on the end. Oh, took A.

I took a bodkin and put it. Sorry, it's a took a bodkin. I took a A bodkin And put it betwixt my eye And the bone As near to the backside Of my eye as I could

Pressing my eye with the end of it So as to make the curvature In my eye There appeared several white, dark, Coloured circles Which circles were plainest When I continued to rub the eye With the point of the bodkin

But if I held my eye And the bodkin still Though I continued to press my eye In circles, they would grow, faint and often disappear until I remove them by removing my eye or the bodkin. Has he just described blinding himself? He's given it a fair crack, but he's, yeah, he's basically got a needle shoved it in under behind his eye and is pressing and... Oh no, I can still hear him.

Took his headphones off, get away from the sand. That's genuinely troubled by this, I'm sorry. Yeah, there's something about eyes. I'm happy with most things, but... sticking things in eyes. I don't love it. I'm imagining that he's doing this whilst he's doing the... So this is...

This is science, basically. Is he doing this during his four-hour work week while people are trying to ask questions about the lectures and he's thinking about other things? He's mainly about the pain in his eye. Look, this would no doubt make somebody a bad conversationist if they were shoving needles in their eye while you were trying to talk to them.

Yeah, that'd be... You'd be like, I get the hint. I'll leave. Yeah. You've obviously got stuff going. All right. You don't want to chat. It would feel like a test, I reckon, in some sort of a goodwill hunting kind of way, some sort of a genius test.

I can't remember how that movie goes. Does he ever stick things in his eyes? Yes. It's all eye stabbing. I guess like this would be the equivalent at the time of somebody like looking at their phone while you were trying to talk to them. Looking at their phone. Well, yeah, because he's seeing coloured circles and stuff.

Like there would have been no other way to do that at that time. Yeah. So, yeah, it would have just been, I guess, entertaining. He also did a thing where he looked straight at the sun for like 10 minutes. Oh, like Trump? Yeah, like Trump, but worse. And he then had to spend like three days in bed with his eyes closed and a cloth over his eyes because he almost blinded himself. But, you know, that was what passed for science at the time. And good on him. Yeah, at least he was doing these tests on himself. These days, they'd probably do it on someone else, I reckon. You know, science of today.

They've lost their nerve. Probably doing on a rabbit. Probably stabbing it with a needle. In 1672, we invented the reflecting telescope and also the sextant, although he didn't tell anybody about it. You wouldn't if you invented a sex tent. Yeah. Sex tent.

Yeah, sex tent. A sex tent. It's kind of a guy to keep that to myself as well. Like a falls festival kind of a thing. Yeah, baby. So you go with seven friends, each of you have a tent And there's the eighth tent, which is the sex tent Which is fucked, but that's how we do it

But he didn't tell anybody, so I guess nobody would have had sex in it Yeah, people would be like, why is there that extra tent then? I mean, we've already got our own tent Why aren't you having sex in your own tent? No, that's gross. We all do it in the same one And then what, I guess we hose it down or burn it or something? We'll leave it behind.

Burn it. You don't want to keep that. So, yeah, again, he wasn't telling people about things that he'd invented. He showed that light could be broken up in a prism into coloured light. So white light, if you shine it through like a glass block. It's like that famous album cover. Of? Dark Side of the Moon. By.

The famous band, Pink Floyd. From the United Kingdom. With? With love? Thank you. Well, that's a real expert. But yeah, if you want to picture it, that's what it is. So he was the first person to explain why how colours come from the rainbow.

Because that's basically sort of, more or less in a sense, what's happening with a rainbow. Light is being reflected and reflected in it. So can you explain rainbows quickly? Is it something to do with the water in the air? Yeah, so you've got water spread throughout the air. So you've had rain or cloud or whatever, so these little droplets of water all through the air. And light, which is white light from the sun,

which is a mixture of all the different colours, comes in and goes into those droplets and bounces around in those droplets. And when it comes back out of the droplets, different colours of light are like slowed down and bent in the water at different speeds, and so reflect back at different angles. So you're more likely to see, you know,

red from a higher angle and blue from a lower angle or whatever the order it is that the rainbow comes through. So that's why the sun always has to be behind you, I think, and the rainbow will be in front of you. And, yeah. Why is it in an arch? Because the angle that the light is reflecting at is the same, every point around that arch.

Does that make sense? So all those points are like a different, at the same angle from you, or the red light all the way around that arch is the same angle to your eye or the blue light is the same angle to your eye all the way around that I think I almost understand what you're talking about What does the pot of gold come into it

Who's in charge of that? It's the leprechauns If anything you've kind of ruined the magic of rainbows Well there is no magic is what I'm saying Thus ruining the magic No no no there was no magic So I'm not ruining it Right

Just salt on a wound now No no no no there was no wound Okay. But is there salt? Is there salt? Oh, there's a bit of salt. Ask the Turkmenbashi, Dave. Free salt for all.

That's a deep cut. Don't put any of salt on that deep cut. On that deep cut, bloody hell. That wound? So there you go. So he's doing pretty well. He's explaining a bunch of stuff. He's not really publishing anything.

He's putting a few notes in little journals and stuff. So information is sort of getting out there and he's telling his students. But I think the way you established firmly, at the time was to publish like a big book or a big paper and he's really not into that because he doesn't want criticism. Right. And is he, but he's got this bit of a reputation as this quiet genius. I guess like there's buzz, you know, there's a lot of buzz around Newton.

Oh, you hear somebody's, you know. Yeah. For his performance in Rainbow. Was he in Rainbow? Yeah. Wow. It's Rainbow a thing. Yeah.

Okay. Andy, you just explained it. Oh, yeah. Is Rainbow a thing? Oh. But not everyone is keen on his discoveries in optics, specifically a bloke called Robert Hook. He sounds like the bad guy in this story. He does, and he very much is.

Did he also do a lot of stuff at the back of his eyes with his hook hand? That is... Yeah. He shoved it in there, he wiggled it around. And that was why he didn't like Newton, because Newton used a needle and he thought that was cheating a bit. Yeah. Hook had gone to all the effort to, like, cut the hand off, have it replaced with a hook. He was doing things right.

Yeah. And this guy is just like holding a bodkin, just rushing it. Yeah. Bullshit. So he wasn't a fan. He was the president of the Royal Academy, which is like the Royal Academy of Science or whatever. It's a big group. Of nerds.

Thank you. He was a king nerd. Yeah. Nerd king. King. Oh, yeah, all hell of fucking King of the nerds. Who cares? A nerd of nerd mountain.

Yeah. It's all written down here. Yeah, fucking nerds. So he criticised Newton's writings in a very condescending fashion. Oh, no. Newton doesn't like criticism. That kind of tone? Oh.

Do you think that's how light works? Okay, nice one, Newton, I guess, but not really, because you suck. Andy, were you a girl at my all-girls? school because you nailed it. Thanks. Did not answer the question. Yeah. Interesting. I finger nailed it. I was trying to think of another girl thing. You also have fingernails, right? Only girls do. Yeah. Yeah. I just got stumps.

They're all flaky and grays. Finger nailed it. Look, Matt. Okay. I didn't see you doing a joke. And you won't. Me doing a joke. At least he tried. Yeah, that's true. Newton went into a rage. He denied hooks charged that his theories had any shortcomings. So that's a strong comeback, I reckon.

I encourage you if anyone says anything nasty to you in the future. Say, I deny that I have any shortcomings is the ultimate. I do do that. Yeah. He do-doos that. I shit that out, is what I'm saying. Well, I do not have any shortcomings. I put that in an envelope and I send it back to him.

Yeah, the nerds. Those fucking nerds. Yeah, he's really getting dumped on by a big nerd. I thought that was some sort of mistake. Nah, mate. Finger mail. Pretty clearly written in feces on the letter there. Yeah, said Dave in brackets nerd wonky.

Yeah. Yeah, no mistake. It's pretty clear. No mistake and namaste. That sounds similar. Namaste. Just, I'll give yourself five minutes for that one. This does feel like both the most intelligent episode we've ever done

and also the dumbest episode we've ever done. I hope I'm not being, am I being like boring? Dress is yawning a lot. She's just a rude bitch. No, no, this is a fascinating story. I really do know nothing. The only thing I knew about him was that maybe there was an apple. Yeah.

I knew that that might not have been true. I didn't realize that was not at all true. I thought it maybe had been like really fluffed up by Hollywood. I can't deny that he may have seen an apple at some point. Oh, that's stories changing. Yeah, everything there's a basis in truth for all these stories. And Andy, I just want to point out as well that I have really laid it on thick today in terms of my criticism of nerds.

Yeah. Justifying a character. And you stand by that? Yes. But I also acknowledge that, you know, our listeners may not know that you do have a, a science background. Yeah. But you're one of the good ones.

Thanks, mate. So you're okay. When I'm saying, fuck off nerds, it's about people like you. Yes. But not you. Dave.

She's talking about Dave. Yeah. Okay, it's other people with skillsets and interests and education that's similar to yours. But I can take it. You know what? I deny that I have any shortcomings.

Great. Great. Yeah. Oh, it was so good to see that in action. Yeah. It works, doesn't it? It really works. He shut that rude bitch up.

If it was true, if he did see an apple, what kind of apple do you think he would have seen for? I've always imagined a red apple. Interesting, me too. Yeah. Is that right? Look, you know, I've got thoughts on apples, Matt. You probably heard me on this topic. And I just hope it was one of the good apples and not one of the shoot apples.

So I'm thinking like a pink lady. I love a pink lady. But not a red delicious. Fuck off, red delicious. Fuck off red delicious. It's bullshit. Red could delicious look. It looks like a good fake apple.

And it basically is ornamental. And it tastes like a fake apple as well. Powdery. It is so powdery. Powdery and like bitter and that skin is so thick. I like a crisp pink lady. Thank you. That's right.

Number one, pink lady. Yeah. Two, maybe a Fuji. Fuji's pretty good. Cox's orange Pippin. Just like saying it. I don't know what it is. Sounds like an orange.

Yeah. It does. Or a fish. Could be a fish. Oh, yeah. So one of the differences between Hook and Newton, Hook was older, but one of the differences scientifically was that... He was older.

That's also scientifically correct. Yeah, so there you go. While Newton thought light was particles, right? He thought light was like tiny little balls of stuff that were like bouncing off things. Hook thought it was waves, so he thought it was some sort of wave, probably in this thing that they all thought existed

that was the ether, which just like permeated everywhere in the universe and was like an invisible, undetectable substance that was all through space and through the air. Waves is more accurate, isn't it? I was going to say, I could not tell you, both of those sound wrong. But waves sounds more right to me. If you were going to say it's not particles or waves,

what would you say it is? I would say it's mist. Oh. So this room is lit up by mist. Have you heard the term a light mist? Wow. That's what it is. No, actually.

I don't think that's a thing that people say very often. People say that. Oh, a light mist out there coming from our light. Sun. May I also have a stab? Yeah, have a step. I think it's a feeling. Yes.

Okay. Light is a feeling? That's good. I didn't really, yeah, I hadn't consider that, but I agree. Well, you're both wrong. and both of these guys are also both wrong but they're also both right. Light is both a wave and a particle.

Yes, which is, if you're going to put it into one word, Jess. A feeling. Thank you. Or a pave or a warticle. They should call it that. A warticle is fun. Oh, having a warticle. So they are actually both incorrect yet correct.

Yeah, because light, it turns out, moves in photons, which are little packets of stuff, which is kind of like a particle, but also they behave like a wave, so they demonstrate all these properties of waves. Like sort of they interfere with each other like waves do, and they reflect and move through things like waves do. So, yeah, it's kind of worth.

Light can move through you. Light can, well, x-rays are a type of light. So that's just like a really high-energy, high-frequency light. So they can move through you. Gamma rays with like radiation, they can move pretty much straight through you. Yeah. The higher energy it is,

the more easily it can go through stuff. Or if you're wearing like a very, like a very thin blouse. Thin blouse. I've not often worn a blouse. Yeah, or like you've got a wet t-shirt. But if they are, people can see your nips. I mean, I am wearing a blouse. I don't often wear it.

But if you are wearing one, it's always thin. Yes, exactly. And wet. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So that's what it is. You're right.

No, so it's both. So anyway, he's not dealing with this well. I love the idea that he just can't take criticism. But it's also, we're not saying how they go hard at each other, but I guess that's how it has to work. Everyone's going hard at each other all the time in this period. Like, it's all like writing letters to it. Because even these guys, they hate each other, right?

And they're like constantly writing letters to each other. Strongly worded letters. Oh, no, I think you're fine. I think you'll find. I think they used that a lot. Yeah, he probably just had a stamp that said, I think you'll find. He signed his name. He didn't actually write what you think he'd find.

What is the equivalent of auto-complete or something at that time? So how he dealt with this criticism was that he delayed publishing his book about it until all the critics were dead, which I think is a strong move, bold. Including hook? Including hook. Yeah, didn't publish it. died in 1703. And interestingly, no new critics were born in those years. That's right.

Amazing. Everyone was very supportive. Well, I think my dream is to outlive the critics. One of the things was that he was, I think, because he was young and having a lot of, you know, coming up with a lot of new theories, a lot of the older people were, you know, sticklers in the mud. Yeah, they weren't hip to his new way of doing things, you know. I guess you could say he was a bit like Kevin,

bacon in footloose. Yep. And Hook was like the mayor of whatever that town was that band dancing. Footloose. Footloose, yeah. Footloose town? Yeah. What a stupid fucking rule.

Right? Dancing. No dancing. And that was John Lithgow. And he's fun. Yeah. He's now Winston Churchill. Wasn't that John Lithgow?

Probably. That was making the rule in footloose? I feel like it wasn't, but it could well have been. He's been the same age for his whole life, John Lithgow. It should have been. Yeah, it's really impressive. You go, like, gray early, and then you just coast. Newton did that.

Newton went gray at 33 and just had, like, thick gray hair for the rest of his life. That's the way to do it. And especially in that kind of game where you want to be, like, respected. Dignified. Yeah. You want to look older than you are, because people go, you're young, what would you know? Yeah. So, check out this mop.

Yeah. And this scar behind my eye. It looks like my head is surrounded by a light mist. but it's actually my But it's actually light, not missed. Same, same. So, there's, and his hook, he's hooked the man that we don't know what he looks like.

Is that that that man? I have no idea what he looks like. What do you mean? There's that man, that science man that, and then, that man, that science man. When he died, they're all like, look, I don't like this. I hate this guy so much, they burnt the only portrait that existed of him because everyone had it.

I've never heard of it. That's really possible. That was the case. I know that Darwin had a similar relationship with a bloke, who I think was also the head of the Royal Academy, and he hated him and suppressed. I'm probably thinking of that guy. It might have been the same guy.

You might be thinking of the same guy. I don't think that's hook. And I can confirm. Are you guys having a separate conversation? I was just debriefing on a miss. I just had a swing in a miss, and then I was just talking it through. with Jess off mic.

Yeah, I've had a few of those. I think quite definitely. You're batting it, I don't know what the, I've heard them say this in America a lot because I don't really understand baseball that much, even though in my team the Detroit Tigers are a very good team. I've heard people say they're batting at something and something, but I don't know what the number should be. Anyway, I think you're batting at 10 and 0.

Thanks, mate. I don't worry. I was better. Thank you. Thank you. So, yes, they continue to have a rivalry, and he's continuing. to refuse to publish anything that anybody might have an issue with, which I think is a good way to get ahead.

Yeah. Don't do anything. Yeah. Another good way to get ahead is just to, you know, saw one off, a body. No, I'm going to take a little nap. Great. So, yeah, they continue to write letters to each other, but then in 1678 Newton suffered a complete nervous breakdown

and stopped writing letters to anybody. That's how you show it. Yeah, the death of his mother the following year caused him to become even more isolated. And for six years he withdrew from any scientific exchange except for when other people initiated it. And even then he always kept it short. So used to a lot of emojis. And abbreviations. And it's just like soz.

Soz can't. Yeah. Can't science. Can't science. But science was like SCNC. Yeah. But they got it.

Count science. Some thought he was saying he can't saunce at that time. No, like, that's fine. I just wanted to come around and talk about gravity. Well, he kept working on his study of gravity and planets.

And ironically, the impetus that put him in the right direction in his study came from Robert Hook. Hook wrote to Newton and brought up the question of planetary motion and suggest it because while he had this idea about gravity right he had you know the idea that everything was universal gravitation everything's attracted by the same force you know the moon and the apple and all that he didn't have like any maths or anything to back it up right

so hook wrote him a letter suggesting that the that on planetary motion a formula involving inverse squares might explain the shape of planets orbits okay so why they're going around Isn't an inverse square a square? No. Short answer? I thought I might have found him out there. Has anyone else want to have another guess about what an inverse square? Is an inverse square not a square?

Yes, in a way. Thank you. But also not, it is. So a squared number is like x squared, like two. I want to talk about numbers. Two times two, right? But an inverse square is like... I know this.

It's the thing with that squiggly line. Am I right? I don't think you are. You think you have long division? In a way, all writing is squiggly lines, Matt. Thank you. So you're saying, yeah. You've cast a wide net, is what I'm saying.

I've cast a correct net, I think, is what you're saying. Correctly wide. Yes, you've scoured the ocean floor and you've denuded an entire ecosystem. Killed a lot of penguins, but... Killed a lot of penguins, but you got the starfish here after. Thank you. You got your scallops. Knapp didn't last long enough, I don't think.

Please explain inverse squares. Inverse squares. It's like 1 over X squared, right? So 1 divided by the number squared. That's what inverse means in mass. Anyway, that's like part of the equation. If you want to think about algebra. But if you don't want to think about it, that's fine.

I don't because I'm not a fucking nerd. But what it's saying is that like if some, if the distance increases by 2, then the strength of the gravity is going to go down by a factor of 4. If the distance increases by factor of 3, then the strength of the gravity is going to go down by a factor of. Nine. Thank you, Dave.

Let's do a separate podcast. Yes, great. Tell each other math problems. I'm very interested in this kind of stuff. Matt, you and I can do well. We just talk about like skateboarding and being gnarly. Shucker hand symbols. Shucker hand symbols.

So they wrote a few more letters to each other, even though they hated each other. And then Newton quickly broke up. off all communication, right? So what do you think might have happened? He was criticized. Not on this occasion, actually. Did he crack it? Cracked the code. Panicked. I think, and I could be wrong, but I reckon he, no, he cracked the code. He worked out the solution, and he didn't want to have to share the credit with Hook. So he stopped communicating with him. And waited until Hook died?

Pretty much. Yeah, I don't know about that one exactly. How do you feel about that morally? Newton is a bloody complicated cat, and people say he's very modest, but at the same time he's really, really defensive of ideas that he thinks might be his, and he is pretty mean to people who want to share the credit for various things.

It's a bit of an asshole. Yeah, but Robert Hook is, like his mother. It's also his enemy. It's like having to share the credit with your enemy. The man you hate the most. Isn't it interesting that like back in the day if you had an enemy, you had to still write letters to them? I hate you. I hate you too.

I hate you more. You can't just like, I don't know, write snarky comments on their Twitter or something. I've read some of the letters between Lennon and McCartney and stuff as well when they weren't getting on. It's pretty, I don't know, it feels a bit weird reading them really, but. But they were writing letters. Did they have to like sort stuff out? Did they have to like work out rights? No, the ones I was reading recently weren't about that necessarily.

It was more just like, yeah, just sort of like, you know, that sort of subtle bitchiness sort of stuff. Yeah. But it's so much effort to write something down. Yeah, well, I guess, yeah, what, I don't know, they were very, they were rich. They could have just sent a person around and said, remember these words and tell them to John, please. I was the Beatles. If you were the Beatles, you would have sent a person round who had remembered your speech.

Yes. So in 1684, Hook mentioned his theory to Sir Edmund Halley, of the Halley's Comment. Halley's Berry? Of the Halley's Berry. Also known as a comment. Right. Yeah, it was a huge berry.

That's what he thought it was. A flying berry. Yeah. Well, he looked at the falling apple And then he looked at the comet up in the sky He said, there must be the same thing This one's bigger Because it's an apple

That one must be small It's probably a berry A berry are great They're my best guesses Yeah Halley's Grove And also his name Was Sir Edmund Halley

And yes he did see the comet And he predicted when it would return Oh So Hallie visited Newton So Hook is told just talked about his theory with Hallie. Hallie visits Newton and Newton's just coming out of his

like six years of being a recluse and this is the wording from the source that I saw. Hallie idly asked him what shape at the orbit of a planet would take if its attraction to the sun followed the inverse square of the distance between them. You know one of those idle questions

that you're just like... Chit chat. Yeah. Small talk. Weather than that. Yep. Anyway. She just couldn't even recreate the question. She doesn't do rule of three.

She does rule of one. Rule of trail off. Just whatever, Andy just said. Just refer to 15 seconds earlier. I think you wouldn't notice, but you always do. So Halley asks him this question. He's asking Hook. No, he's asking Newt.

Oh, sorry. He's already talked to Hook. He talks to Hook. Hallie talks to Hook. And then Hallie goes and talks to Noon. because they're not talking, you know. Hook and Newton aren't talking, right? It's like, go tell him this. What, no, you tell. Hallie, I am Hallie. Hang on, I'm very confused. Who am I not talking to? I don't think you're the person to take this message. You're clearly struggling with the basics.

You may be some sort of astronomical genius. You can't, conversationally very bad. Don't shoot the messenger. Hang on, who's the messenger? Am I the messenger? Who should I not shoot? Should I shoot? Should I shoot? Everyone else. So he's asked him this question. And Newton replied instantly, an ellipse, right? An ellipse. So it's going to be the shape of an ellipse.

You know what an ellipse is? Yeah. It's the two dots. No, three dots. Dot, dot, dot, dot. That's an ellipsis. Oh, that's multiple ellips. So it's one dot.

No, it's like a squashed circle. All right. So he says, And an oval to the layman out there. If that was the case, how amazing is the fact that oval the word oval comes from over

for egg because it's like shaped like an egg I mean of the things you've said today not the most amazing really yeah but I just find everything I stop fucking yawning so much I think I'm warm

oh yeah one of those warm ya I'm a warm, Your Honor. You're warm, you're warm. Do you think, you know, you're talking about Halley's Comet, that's not something we'd need to explain. I only vaguely know about it. It happened in the 80s, right? Yeah, I think it came past latest in the 80s,

but Hallie's Comet is a comment comes past like every 114 years or something like that. Oh, way the year! Are you fucking kidding me? Are you even comets? 114. Oh, well, maybe we should just change the calendar. to make that work. I thought it was in this.

It's something like 70 years. Could be. I'm okay with that. Because I know that it must be in a lifetime because Mark Twain. I saw it twice. Or famous writer, he was born in the year of Haley's, that Haley's comet came past the earth. And he predicted that he would die the year it came back. And he did.

Wow. That doesn't sound true. A fantastic fact. And I can tell you, you are correct. It comes past in the vicinity of every 75 years. making it possible for a human to see it twice in their life. The last time it was here, it was in 1986, so I could see it twice. I could see it twice.

You guys sucked in. Only one Haley's comet for you. If that, you could die young. If that, I know, does it predict when the next one will be? 2061. Well, I will not be here. We'll not be here. You seem like one of the healthiest people I know, Dave.

You stretch every night before bed. That's true. And in the morning. Wow. Double stretcher. And like, is that the secret to a long life? If you stretch your long body, long body, sure. You're able to lengthen things.

Does he stretch himself in the dimension of time? Yes. I stretch my age by one day every day. Wow. Wow. So half a day every stretch session. Yeah, that's right, every 12 hours on the dot. Wow.

A little alarm goes off. Sorry, guys, got a stretch. So Newton says that he says that he, He's worked it out already, right? But he says that he worked it out 18 years earlier, and he can't find his notes. That old thing? Yeah. I don't know.

I reckon he was like... Bying time? I think it was hooks onto this. I'm going to say I've already done it. Has Hook already cracked it? He said to Hallie ellipse. So he also said that? I don't think he has, no.

Right. But he's pretty close to getting it. He's on the track. Newton said, look, it's in lips. And I reckon it's another. another one of those cases of almost like he sort of said it and then went and worked it out later on because he then went away. He said he couldn't find his notes. Haley said, well, can you work it out mathematically and I'll pay for the publisher to publish it? So Newton goes away and works

for seven months and publishes a book called the Principia, which is in full name is philosophia naturalis, principia mathematics. Sounds like a how about. Potter spell. And he just said the word, right? And then the book appeared. It was quite good. You know, sorry. And then he still never got laid.

Nerd. Is that true? You need to get a sex tent going on. But that ellipsis you're talking about, sorry for all the dumb questions. But you said it's like squash circle, but like a very specific shaped squash circle? Yeah, it is a specific shape of the squash circle. There's some kind of mathematical relationship between like the two different diameters, so like the long diameter and the short diameter and the, yeah, and that is, you know,

the orbit that everything follows around the sun and the moon follows around the earth is an ellipse. Right. That's why like a total ellipse is when... Of the heart. Oh, okay, that's a heart-related thing as well. Now I'm getting lost again. So you're thinking of an eclipse, right?

Which is a mint. Yes. Which is in the shape of an ellipse. Right. And later on, Newton becomes... the head of the British mint. Do you see? Yes.

Do you see how this checks out? It's genuinely is the smartest and dumbest episode we've ever done. That is lizard people style stuff, I reckon. What are the lizard people called again? Triangles and stuff. Oh, Luminati. Luminati. This sounds Luminati.

It's all checking out. So he published this book and he published it in Latin because that's what everyone did at the time, which is just insane. Isn't that a wild thing? to do. Yeah. All this research, all this hard work, publish it in a dead language. It's extra difficulty.

My dad, which was, you know, not that long ago, he still exists. When he was younger, he used to go to, like, when he went to church, the mass was all said in Latin. Like, this is within not, you know, 40, 50 years ago. Yeah, my dad had to do Latin at school. And you would have just been sitting there just not understanding any of it, right? Isn't it? Yeah.

Or maybe they picked some of it up, but it seems like such a weird way to do it. This is the word of God. Obviously, we don't want you to understand what we're saying, though. It's exactly what I experienced in that church in Paris on Christmas Day. A bomo. Two hours. It's Bono Latin. No, two hours of not understanding a word that the priest says.

Did he have like a stutter or something? No, he's speaking in French. Which I did not. With a stutter. But bonjour. And a little. I believe they called Lustutter. Not ellipse.

Or is it an ellipse? An ellipse, yeah, an ellipse. Is that something to do with the squash circle? Is that why people get an ellipse? The mint. That's an eclipse. Right. But why do people talk with an ellipse?

That's a lisp. Oh my God. This goes deeper than I even realized. They speak with their lips. Right. Which are kind of the shape of an ellipse. And sometimes used to suck on an eclipse. Are you picking all this up, Dave?

I can't keep up with this. I'm not smart enough. This is amazing. So anyway, he writes this book, wrote in Latin. It was really big. It was a really big, successful. Big hit. Influential book.

Didn't sell many copies. But the people who read it were like, this is the good shit. This explains so much stuff about the world. And it's pretty much the first time somebody wrote a book that actually did explain stuff about the world. It wasn't just like their theories based on, you know, reading some old tomb inscription and doing a thought experiment about a turtle or something. He actually, you know, he had maths to back up things that he said about the world.

And that's what you want. Maths. Some solid... It's not what I want. I'd prefer friends, thanks Because it is a choice It's a choice You're going to have one or the other

One of your maths or friends And you choose it in about grade two I reckon Yeah Maths or friends How many maths teacher is listening Because she hated me I bet I reckon she's been listening to every single episode

Just waiting for you to get into maths Yeah Say something about math. One day I'll like solve an equation. She'll be like, I did it. A little tear. And then she'll finally die. Yeah, she'll shrivel up.

You know a puff of smoke. Anyway, she was driving a bus at the time. Went over a cliff. 70 people died. And those people were also driving buses at the time. Each with 70 people. Each with 70 people in them. I can't figure out how many people it is.

Black Thursday, they call it. wiped out the whole population of South Australia. She moved to South Australia, just. I thought you'd like to know. She wanted me to tell you. So when he released this book, though, Hook immediately accused Newton of plagiarism, saying that he had discovered the theory of inverse squares

and that Newton had stolen his work, right? Even though he hadn't really, like he hadn't actually worked anything out, he just said, I think it might be this. So it's like he'd had the idea for the idea. idea. Yeah, which feels like something to me. Nah. I mean, I feel like I've had lots of ideas and then you're like, oh, somebody's turned

that into a thing. I think I'm okay with that if it's a book, though, maybe a little note in the forward. I think the difference is you've had an idea. Someone else's, that's become a reality. But it's different if you've said to that person, hey, I've got this idea and then they make it. That makes sense. So if I said the matter...

When they know you wouldn't want them to do that. So it's like a conversation. You have a good riff and you ask the other. medium, are you going to use that? You should have said, are you going to use that? Yeah, you should have said. That inverse square gear. Are you going to do anything on that?

Are you going to put that in a show or do a business? Can I use that? Can I use that? That's good stuff. I'm going to, I'm going to do that on stage. When you have a conversation, both people reach for their phone. Just going to make a little note here. Oh, I already wrote that down, so that's mine.

It's an indelible digital. So, well, you're right, he was forced then to include hook as an acknowledgement in the book. But he was, he was like, I would rather not publish it at all. But in the end, he did wind up publishing it. But, hey, it worked out, okay, because as the years went on, Hook's life began to unravel. His beloved niece and companion died the same year that the book was published. Oh, what a win.

This is Hook, all right. Wait, what? His beloved niece and companion. Look, I put that in because in my research, nieces came up more than you would expect. Like, today... It's not a lot. I don't think that the Uncle Neese relationship is,

like one of the key relationships. But nieces were a much bigger deal in the 1600s. Right. Wish some my bloody uncles would pay attention to that. Yeah. Oye uncles. Oye, uncles. Do you really want to be your beloved companion?

Companion, that's a bit off. Yeah. It sounds like when a racehorse comes out from Europe for the Melbourne Cup and they travel with a pony, that's what it's making me think. Is that what it's like? Yeah, I think what it might actually have been... They travel with a pony? Yeah, some horses travel with a companion.

Either a shitter horse, or which is what a pony is, I guess, just a shitter horse. Smaller, smaller doesn't mean shitter. Sometimes like a sheep or something. What? That might not be true, but some other animal, a donkey once, maybe. A mate. They bring them a friend. Yeah, just bring them a friend.

See, they want a friend, not maths. Yeah, no, what I didn't go on to say is that the horse will fuck that pony. Well, I don't want to speculate about hook and his... If it was the sheep, would it still... I don't... Look, I don't want to say definitively either way, but yes. Sure don't say yes. But I'm not going to say either way.

No, not definitively. One of the two ways, yes. Yes, definitely. So hooks on a downward spiral. Yeah. Didn't you say before, sorry, Andy. Point of order. A lot of interruptions over here, I will say.

Sorry about that, Dave. You pointing it out means you've been thinking about this for all. Can I interrupt you there? Jess, you got something to say? No, I'm good. Okay, Matt, please. You said before that he didn't release the book until after all his critics were dead. That was the one about optics.

Right, gotcha. Yeah. So he released, this is, but this is his big masterpiece. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Principia. It actually came out in the end came out, and there were three books. There were three volumes that all explored different things. But, yeah, as Newton's reputation and fame grew, hooks declined, causing him to become more and more bitter and loathsome towards his rival to the end of his life.

He took every opportunity could to offend Newton, which wasn't difficult. No. So, you know, plenty of opportunities. I'd call him Sputon. Yeah, really good. What about Putin? Yeah, good one. Vladimir Putin.

Yeah, probably Putin. Take that, dick, Ed. Yeah, dick, Ed, that's another good one. But following the publication of the book, Newton was starting to get a bit sick of science himself. in 1689. Jess, are you relating? Yeah, because he was like, I'm going to go fucked instead. Well?

Jess is relating there, okay. This is when he was elected to that seat in Parliament. So he took Cambridge's seat in Parliament. But within a few years, he had another nervous breakdown in 1693. The cause is open to speculation. It could be his disappointment over not being appointed to a higher position by the monarchs, could have been exhaustion from being overworked,

or perhaps chronic mercury poisoning after decades of alchemical research. Guys, you want to do a vote? What do you reckon it was? The chronic poisoning from all the mercury he was touching with his bare hands? Or was he annoyed about not getting something better from the queen? Was he injecting Mercury into his eyeball or something?

Look, it's just science. You want to do it if you want to learn. Fair enough. Look, it could have been all over the above. His Bobkin was made of Mercury, I heard. Bobkin is a great word. Bodkin. I'm going to use it.

Oh, Bodkin. What was that? Oh, I thought it was... Well, Matt said Bobkin, and I was like, yeah, that's right. It's a bodkin. It's Bodkin, yeah. Oh, Dave, of course it's Bodkin. Sorry.

Letters written in this period by Newton to several of his Luddn acquaintances and friends, including I don't know why I've included his name Anyway, I deleted him from the report That's why Anyway, a guy called Dahlia So there you go He sounds like fun

He sounds a bit Boring His letters seemed deranged and paranoid And he accused them of betrayal and conspiracy And then he recovered quickly Wrote letters of apologies to his friends And was back to work in a few months So that's not bad

Yeah, back on the horse Self-awareness is so important So important. You've got to be able to say, no. Okay, what I said to you was not cool. Not cool. And I'm sorry. And we're back as BFFs because you are my bay.

Yeah. You've got to be able to say that because it's very brave. It's so brave. Hey, Andy, when you said he's back on his horse, was that his companion horse? The pony. He was fucking it. Yeah. How about the sheep?

The sheep liked to watch. It was an ugly sheep. You wouldn't want to play. Yeah. Yeah, real dog of a shit. Shape, dog. So, yeah, he got better again, but he still seemed to not be all that interest in science. He now favoured pursuing prophecy and scripture and the study of alchemy, which is basically bullshit chemistry.

Trying to turn shit into gold. Turned shit into gold. Yeah, so he would still answer science problems if people wrote to them and he was still really good at that, but he just wasn't into it. he was really he spent a lot of time trying to discover hidden messages in the Bible so he thought he had this eye he read it backwards yeah so we lost it a bit he he he was actually throughout his life was very religious he had like pretty unorthodox religious views he thought like a lot of the teachings that the church were bullshit and all the stuff had been corrupted and that's why he was like going back to the original text of the bible he was like the truth is in here somewhere I'm going to get it. it out and he spent you know and it was just back to that old stuff of the ancient

Greeks of just like wasting your time just trying to work out stuff based on nothing so he's like invented science which gets facts from the real world and then he goes back to like oh no but there might be some codes in here somewhere right he likes yeah he wants to be a dan brown sort of Dan brown he was a Dan brown he wants to be Dan brown who hasn't been there you know at some point uh the lowest of the low Dan Brown In 1696, he was appointed warden of the mint, presumably an eclipse mint. After acquiring his new title, he permanently moved to London and moved in with his niece. Oh, another niece.

What's going on? What is going on there? Crack that code. Yeah, the niece code. Yeah. This is my theory, right? I think the code might just be patriarchy. And I think it's possible that just back in the day women were, like, any woman,

in your family was sort of kind of just expected to just kind of look after the men and sort of give their lives over to supporting the men and doing whatever. So his niece was married, someone with a good name, I can't remember. But yeah, like your weird uncle who's like the head of the British mint just comes and lives in your spare room. Seems very strange. Don't have a spare room. That's my theory. Yeah. One bedroom apartment all the way, baby. It's much like you shouldn't drive a Ute or a wagon or a van. Because you're helping everyone move. Your uncle's going to come and live in it.

You know what they're like? They're like a hermit crab. They just see a space big enough and they just back in like that. You and Uncle, Dave? You're not an uncle, are you, Andy? I'm not an Uncle, no. I'm not an Uncle, no. Jess, you and Uncle, sorry.

Jesus, thank you for including me. And no. I worked out the other day that it's possible for you to be the uncle of someone. someone who is, no, for your uncle to be younger than you. How crazy is that. Of course it is. Yeah, absolutely. That's insane. Yeah.

They went to school with the guy that had that. And they were at school together. His uncle was two years below us. Oh, my God. It's like modern family. That would make this make more sense if she was, if he was younger than her somehow. I don't know. It was a young uncle.

Yeah. Oh, no. Jess, can you edit that bit out? Nope. Because I'm not editing the podcast. So yeah, he moved in with his niece and worked at the Mint. He was pretty keen on the job and he reformed the currency and he severely punished counterfeaters.

Yes. People who made forgeries. Counterfeiters. Yeah. Right. What a crazy twist at the end. Yeah. Well, it's not even the end.

In the middle. Yeah. What a wild mid twist. Yeah. So he's really into that. like, I don't know if this means anything, he changed the British pound from being the silver standard to being the gold standard, which... That's something.

Yeah. I reckon. Sounds like it. I mean, gold is better than silver. So like going from... Is it like getting a AAA credit rating? Maybe. Or is it like, is it something to do with, because isn't currencies all based on,

it used to be based on bullions, right? Is it something to do with that? Yeah. Well, I think it was to do with the value was dependent on the value of gold and they had to keep a certain amount of gold in the vault or something like that, the Bank of England to make it mean that the paper money was worth something, which is not the case anymore. Now money literally means nothing.

We just accept it. We just accept it. We're just like idiots. You're a sheep, man. Sheep dogs. But also because we accept it, it does mean something. Oh, shit, son. You just got philosophized, bitch.

No, fair cop. In 17803, Robert Hook finally died and Newton took his place as head of the Royal Academy. And can I just say that I quietly Googled it, just so we don't get millions of tweets. Yes, apparently they may have burnt Robert Hook's portrait. Really? And I know that, and I remember that now because there's people writing about it on the internet. There's a scene in Cosmos, the remake that they did with Neil deGrasse Tyson as the host. Which is a great series if you haven't seen it.

I haven't seen it. Absolutely fantastic. And yes, that's right. It's debated whether it actually happened. Right. Look, I wouldn't be at all surprised because Newton came in and he was like a total dictator in the... Right, yes.

They apparently burnt his portrait to get rid of the memory of him. So there isn't a portrait. Like, you wouldn't know if you don't know if that's true or not, you'd know if there's a portrait of him or not now. Well, it says I was reading online quietly because I was obviously in the fraudulent story. Which is great. That's why you had to read quietly.

It did say, otherwise I read out loud. They had to replace his image, but I don't know what they based that on. So there you go. What do they replace it with? Picture of a butt. Yeah, Newton was like, oh, draw me butt and put it in his place. There you go, hooky.

Cop that. That may not happen. So he was the head of the Royal Society, but however, his ambition was, and his first defense of his own discoveries continued to lead him from one conflict to another with other scientists. and by most accounts he was a bloody nightmare. In, oh, and yeah, he spent time in 1704 trying to get scientific information out of the Bible, which is great. Sounds like interrogating it.

Yeah. With a hot poker. What do you know? Tell me. He had to burn a lot of Bibles. Wasn't good. God hated it. He had to use phone books so the Bible wouldn't bruise.

Phone book on Bible. he estimated that the world would end no earlier than 2016. So there you go. Well, he's still right. Yeah. Still right after all these years. And that sounds like a prediction of like he was predicting that it would end in 2016. But really he was trying to like counter all these people who were like predicting

every couple of years, oh, the earth is about to end. The earth is about to end. Well, he did the calculation based on the bottom. It was like, idiots, it's clearly not going to end before 2006. Oh, that's based on the Bible. Yeah. I thought it was some sort of a sun burning out thing. No, no, no.

Cool. Yeah, he was sick of people saying the world was going to end. So he said, come on, we've at least got 400 years. I'm glad this sounds like 60 and not like 64 or something. No, four, no. But I mean, why not just go 3,000? I've got some terrible news. None of us will see howl this comet again.

Oh, because it's a leap year thing. As I said, he just said it's not going to end before 2016. We better get it at 2016. That's all I want to see, and then I'll be happy to die. A couple of extra days. Well, actually, Jesse, you would hate this. I saw somewhere else I saw it record as 2016. You would hate that.

I would have hated that because the world would be over. Two years ago, I would have hated that. Because Jess has been having some cracking years since then. Yeah, I've had a couple of good years. Have I? I don't know. They're fine. I reckon.

Started the podcast in 2016. That's true. Wasn't I late 2050? That was 2015. I apologize. No. Apology, not accepted. But which calendar?

Was that on the Julian calendar? Yes, it was. See, there you go. That was, see, that was your mistake, Matt. Always assume I'm using the Gregorian calendar. Wrong again. Most of his alchemical and religious work has been pretty much dismissed. So, yeah, he was like, he was really, really good at science, and then he was like an actor who wanted to be a musician or something.

Right. I'm going to have a go at religion. David Dukovny. Does Dukovny have something? Yeah, he was in Melbourne, like recently. Doing some music. And no good, you mean? Apparently.

Does he have a David Dukovaband? Yes. Or is it originals? That's fantastic. I believe it's original. I think he's got an album. I have not heard it. David Ducleband.

He looks so old now. It's so sad. Really? That's what happens. people get older. I think he's still kind of handsome, though. Yeah, but when you watch the X-Farz, the new ones.

He looks in a 20 or so years older, I reckon. Yeah. Yeah, what happened? What happened in those 20 or so years? Weird. Weird. He lived a hard laugh. Must have been, yeah.

Year by year. Yeah, must have been that Hollywood lifestyle your age. Yeah. You know, 20 years is a long time. What you're basically saying there is the fact that he possibly hasn't had any plastic surgery done upsets you. No, I just think that. I kind of wish they never brought it back.

Anyway. Because his physical appearance upset at you. Yep. What upset me, not upset. In it, in it. That's how upset at you. Well, okay. Again, that's another thing we disagree on.

Also, the script wasn't very good, but it was mainly his face. Yeah. I didn't want to fuck it. But when he was young, oh, I did. So Newton had come up with the calculus, right? which is like how you find like the gradient of lines. And what did he call it again? He called it Fluxians.

So did he get to rename it or someone go, that's ridiculous? Let's call it calculus. Yeah, I think someone else must have renamed it. Quite possibly this guy Gottfried Leibniz, great name. So he was a German mathematician who independently came up with the theory of calculus quite a bit of time after Newton, but because Newton hadn't published anything, he thought he'd come up with it first. And he'd actually been communicating with Newton,

and Newton hadn't mentioned anything about his theory. So Leibniz accused Newton of copying him. Yes. Newton accused Leibniz of copying him, and this took up the rest of his life, basically, arguing with Leibniz over who'd come up with it first. Didn't he have evidence that he discovered it like 40 years earlier or something? Well, he had like notes and stuff,

but you'll be pleased. The Royal Society appointed a committee to investigate the matter. Newton was the president of the society, and the committee found in Newton's favour. And it was interesting. This system works. At the very least, it was an English committee. Anyway, this was something I was wanting to ask.

Do you think that, you know, because I'm always a bit suspicious about like English history saying or, you know, any history saying our man was the one who figured everything out and that there's like some slightly less known person somewhere else who actually came up with it? Is there any controversy like that? I mean, I think things like this and the Leibniz, discussion would be the equivalent of that and the stuff with Robert Hook. I think he, it's hard to say, but I think genuinely he was a genius, genuinely, he, like, stuff like his laws of motion, no one had come up with that before.

So all of this is pretty revolutionary. By this time, he'd become one of the most famous men in Europe. His scientific discoveries were unchallenged, and he'd also become very wealthy investing his sizable income wisely. Sizable income, it's so funny when you look at these old things, his income was like 700 pounds a year and everyone's like,

ooh, doing all right. He's doing very well. Living with his niece, I hear. Oh. Yeah, it's just so funny hearing. How do you even divide 700 pounds up small enough to be able to use it to buy stuff throughout the entire year?

Like even if it's like, What, like a hundred pennies to a penny? I don't even know. Were there things like threepence and shillings and stuff? It used to be a confusing system, I think. So I guess, like, instead of loaf of bread costing, a dollar, it costs a cent or two cents or something. Yeah. I suppose that makes sense.

It just sounds crazy to me. It's like people who are used to large things, like Japanese yen. They're like, what do you mean a loaf of bread costs less than a thousand? Yeah. All I look at it is the number. Yeah. What? It's crazy.

Maybe if you picture a penny like a dollar, would that help? Yeah. But then what's the cent? You can't. So everything costs a dollar. Isn't that better? Let's get rid of five cent pieces, right? No, we got rid of the one cent two cent pieces years ago.

The five cent doesn't have long to go out. I think they still have like single pennies in the United States, just one penny pieces. But they can't get rid of them because they've all got Lincoln's face on them and they love Lincoln. Oh, right. Sorry if this is incorrect. I remember him winking in a Simpsons episode, the Winkin coin. I think they've got one P in England still as well over the UK. Yeah.

Weird. Anyway, he was very rich. He never married or made many friends in his latest years. A combination of pride, insecurity and weird scientific investigations led some of his friends to worry about his mental stability. throughout his career he was torn between his desire for fame and his fear of criticism wow that's a tough one it just sounds like a comedian to me just like your standard any one of us i guess no i love criticism yeah fine you could take it then no don't sorry jess was that directed at me yeah oh god um okay so you want to know

what Newton looked like. Newton was short and at the end of his life he was very stout but he was... A teapot is what you're just short and stout. If you tipped him over

you could pour him out. That's what Dave did to you at the start of the episode. When he gets all steamed up you could hear him shout and need I repeat if you tipped him over you could pour him out.

What a very detailed description. Yeah, instead of arms actually on his left side he had a handle. And on the other side, a stout. I don't think that's right. He was holding a beer. He was holding a dark beer.

Wow. Fair enough. You instantly made me thirsty for stout, Jess. Very powerful. I'm an influential person. You're an online influencer. I'm an influencer. Get at me, brands.

Everyone grabbed a stout. I'm up for sale. He had a square, lower jaw, brown eyes, broad forehead and rather sharp features. His hair turned grey before he was 30 and remained thick. You said 33. Please say luscious. It says he remained thick and white as silver till his death.

So not very white then, I presume, silver. But also it didn't go back to like brown. No, apparently not. It's crazy, isn't it? Yeah. I've actually already gone completely grey and then back again. Wow. Yeah.

What a process. That's meant early, yeah. Yeah. So did the full loop. Little loop. Started again. Like 25, fully grey. And then here we are, 27.

Brunette again. I told you, you had changed your hair color. Off air. I said that. I was wrong. In the last two years, yes. That's what I was referring to. I saw a good word to describe him, which was slovenly.

Just like that word. Slovenly. You really feel like you're working your mouth saying it. Slovenly. Slovenly. Can you answer this question, Andy? Yeah. Would you say he lived a happy life?

Oh, you know what? I'm going to say no, because he was just angry so much at the time. Yeah, I think so. Like, I think he was pretty pleased with himself, but like everything else made him angry. Right. So, I don't think that you can. You didn't really go into any hobbies or anything either,

apart from having a niece and riding a horse. Or that was his niece? Yeah, I can confirm. Great. No, yeah, I mean, I guess like reading the Bible and stuff. Is that a hobby? Yeah. I mean, like I always think if you believe in...

Lava after, life after love. Lava? I believe in lava. So this is relevant to me what I'm about to say. If you believe in the Bible, right? If you believe in God and everything, then I'd be into the Bible all the time. You're on the earth for a short amount of time and then forever. You've got the word of God.

Yeah, sure you'd just be reading that cover to cover over and over again If you believe that that was all a real true thing And I think he probably was But then at the same time, I think what Christians would tell me Which I've been one of those I think maybe I still technically am I don't know where the rules Your membership hasn't lapsed

To be a Catholic you've got to go in and actually I think you've got to get their permission to leave So it's like logging out of Facebook Let me try and close your account Yeah, yeah I thought I'd closed my mum my account like six months ago, but people have been like recently told me like,

oh no, we can still post on your page and stuff. Right, that's annoying. I don't know. Is that how Facebook works? Is that how Catholicism works? Yeah, people are still pacing on your Catholicism.

But I think, you know, people would say probably other Christians, of which we have some listeners, I imagine, that, you know, that's not what God would want you to live your life, reading the, I don't know. I feel like God is pretty keen on that kind of stuff.

Right. It's interesting. Surely, isn't it someone about living a good life and being good to people as well? That can't be just reading a book. Yeah, you can't read a book 24 hours a day. Or the one hour you're not reading the book. Wank him. You're helping others.

After wanking. Bible makes him real horny. Is that true? Yeah, so it's different. Yeah, so it fucking gave him the horn. So I was a bit of great. and he wasn't much fun around because he was very often lost in his own thoughts. He's quite boring to talk to.

There are a lot of anecdotes about him being absent-minded. Here's one. Thus once, when riding home from Grantham, he dismounted to lead his horse up a steep hill. When he turned at the top to remount, he found that he had the bridle in his hand while his horse had slipped it and gone away. That's wild. So he didn't notice the slot. But like there's a bit of a weight difference between a horse and not a horse.

Yeah. Or a niece and not in this case. A person who's basically discovering gravity, he's not very... Not very aware of the weight of things. What is going on? Did he think like the brighter would have dropped to the ground? It would have, geez, this horse, I'm just dragging it along. How weird.

The horse has died and I'm suddenly very strong. Anyway, to continue with my thoughts. He didn't exercise. He indulged it. Oh, here you go. He indulged in no amusements. Great. So I didn't have any hobbies.

He worked incessantly, often spending 18 or 19 hours hours out of 24 in writing. This was a good description of him I heard or read. In character, he was religious and conscientious with an exceptionally high standard of morality, having, as Bishop Burnett said, the whitest soul he ever knew. Oh, yeah. And that's a good thing. Apparently. He was white.

He was real white. White pride. It doesn't say that, but... But it sounds like he did have it. Sure. I think white's another word for clean. Oh, right. Clean soul.

Clean soul. Right, I just do a... Put that into context there. He was always very straightforward and honest, but also not generous. And he was also... So not very generous? Not generous. God.

I was thinking, man, I'd kill to be as clever as this guy. But he doesn't sound like a person I'd want to be. Well, but he was also modest. So it's really weird. So he famously said, if I have seen further than other men, it is only because I have stood on the shoulders of giants. Oh, is that his quote? That's his quote.

That's a great quote. It's a good quote. And it sounds cool as well. Like, you can picture him standing on a giant. You're like, oh, that's great. Oh, I can see heaps further than I could from down there as a normal-sized person up here though fuck I can see heaps

Now when he's standing on the giant How do you picture him like with one foot on each shoulder Nah he's so small In comparison to the giant Yeah I was picturing on one shoulder Right shoulder And like he's about this big on the giant's shoulder Which is like

About the size of an apple Yeah Oh that's my god Andy we solved it It was a mystery episode Why are we putting this voice on I was picturing with one foot on each shoulder So it's really awkward

And he's got his legs spread around the giant's head So you're thinking Andre the giant's right on the His dick is pressing against the top of the giant's naked as well The giant's naked Okay Okay Are you guys not picturing them? No

We've already explained how we picture Because he doesn't specify in the quote That he was wearing clothes He doesn't say And if you don't Then you're not Yeah That's the rule

Presumed Yeah, that's Newton's law. Presumed naked until proven otherwise. So there you go. All right, shall I finish up? Here we go. He summed up his own work thusfully. I do not know what I may appear to the world,

but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy, playing on the seashore and diverting myself, in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all. all undiscovered before me. It was quite poetic. Beautiful.

Yeah, that's nice. And do you believe he wrote that? Yeah. Yeah, right. So he's actually also quite a wordsmith. Well, he spent 19 hours a day writing. Yeah, but he was writing numbers, I imagine, and squiggly lines. Just numbers, just squiggly.

I've seen his handwriting, it's terrible. And his diagrams, his scientific diagrams are also really bad. There's no sense of scale. Like when he draws his, he drew a drawing of him, like with his hand pressing the, the bodkin behind his eyeball. The eyeball's really big, and the bodkins there, and then his hand is really tiny.

He just had big eyes. Some of us have big eyes, okay? Big eyes and small hands. Yeah. That reminds you of anyone, Dave? Yes. His theory of gravity held until Einstein's relativity came in,

which was like 250 years, so that's not bad. He died in 1727. His tomb in Westminster Abbey was inscribed with the words mortals rejoice at so great an ornament to the human race. Whoa. Do you pen that as well?

I don't know if he wrote that one. I don't know. I doubt it. I think he was too modest. But I think that is a fucking big, good thing to have, I'm going to have that on my tombstone. Really? Yeah.

I might even just get it on a t-shirt. Mortals rejoice. Mortals rejoice at so great an ornament to the human race. There's no cheaper tombstone than a t-shirt. Your family really cheaps out after you die We'll just get him a t-shirt You get a t-shirt You can just pop that over somebody else's tombstone

Just cover it up Yeah Rest in peace Greg Nah man man no no He's down there Yeah So that's the report That's a great report

That was a great episode This may even reach our longest episode ever almost I think Sorry I thought you might be having a shit time No I really enjoyed that really long. Oh my God. No, we will. One thing you

never experienced this before, but we do it every week after we stop recording, whoever did the report goes, sorry, guys, was that okay? It always feels like it's shit when you're doing the report for some reason. Yeah, it really does. I had no idea that it had gone so long

and I was supposed to be out of this room 50 minutes ago. So... Oh, shit. Excellent. Carly's waiting outside. Anyway, sorry, everyone. Sorry, Carly, if you're listening. I'll be out in a moment.

Well, maybe should... Do you want to step out and we can do the thing as without you? Sure, can I just quickly plug my show? Yes, of course. Please tell us about your show. I'm doing a show with Alastair. Have I already said this? Yeah, maybe we can recap it.

That was two hours ago. Am I doing a show with Alistair, Tronbley Virtual at the Comedy Festival? Andy Matthews and Alastair Trombleau Virtual, sci-fi sketch comedy experience. I did this as a science topic because I thought it would be relevant people who liked it might like the show. But also the show is just messed up and weird. And there's nothing like this.

It's exclusively Newton. And niece. Nice humor? Yeah. It's all niece related. Good, good. And that we'll have the link to the tickets in the description. Oh, thank you so much.

I love the show, guys. Thank you so much for letting me be on it. May I, you've given us so much information. I give you a fact. I would love one. And that is that John Lithgow did star in Footloose as Reverend Shawmore. Bye, Andy. Thank you.

It was a mystery episode. We cracked. We solved it. And we're just fun. I do like this guy. Yeah, I think he's incredible. I think he's so good. He's like one of my heroes.

And he's a bad man. That's classic Andy. Yeah, classic Andy. Anti-hero. You're a bad, bad boy. Catch you later, Andy. All right, that was Andy Matthew's report. And it was very long, but very, very interesting.

And we highly recommend you go and check out Andy and Alice says live show if you can. And if you're overseas, check out two in the think tank. Also on the Planet Broadcasting Network. The concept is we probably should have talked about this with Andy. Each week they're their TV comedy writers and they try and come up with five sketch ideas live on air. And they are ridiculous and hilarious. So check it out. It's a really great pod.

All right. Now, thank you so much for listening. There's only one thing left to do now. Andy's left the building, and that is thank our Patreon supporters. Everyone that supports the show at patreon.com slash do go on pod. It really keeps the show rocking and rolling. The amount has been pretty great lately. We've got a lot of new pledges, so thanks for everyone for doing that.

We are now halfway over halfway of our target, which ultimate target is to two of the United States. Yeah, that's right. And we're getting really close as well to the target of doing a second bonus. episode every month. Every single month. So I reckon in a month or two will be there, which means if you pledge every month,

you get two bonus episodes. Crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy for us. Yeah. But that's fun. It'll be good. All right, Jess, you want to,

also I should say we thank people that support us on the show. And Jess, would you like to thank some of the Patreon people? I would absolutely love to. And the first person I would like to thank is from Elmhurst, Illinois. I would like to thank Pat Killick. Pat Killick Pat Killick

Now how should we thank these Patreon Patreon people Now if you were to start a rumour that they were hit on the head by a fruit Perfect What fruit would you say Pat Killick clearly A rock melon Yes

Oh you didn't That's a nasty one I was thinking melon as well Patti melon Oh interesting okay I don't know what that means What I was going to say what's a patty melon I think it might be a marsupil

Okay So not even a fruit at all It's quite a really Something you're different. Okay, thank you. Thank you, Pat. And from Kenmore in Washington, I would like to thank Amber Duguay.

Amber Deguai. Amber Deguai. That is a sick name. That is a great name. Love that as much. Although Pat Killick was good too. This is a very strong start. If I was going to say, a fruit was going to drop.

Just because of amber, that's the color of beer often. So maybe like one of those hop flower heads. It's going to fall on it Okay Is that a fruit? Yeah, yeah Okay You know, it's an edible thing that grows on a tree

Okay I don't know what a fruit is Dave We'll go with that Could we get a Technical definition of fruit Can we get a ruling please I believe it is any sort of seed they often say I think you've got me Jess

That's fine, that's fine That's fine It's fine I'm not mad I've got a definition here. This sweet and fleshy product of a tree or other plant that contains seed and can be eaten as food. Yeah, I don't think it's, I don't think it counts. I had a really nice passion fruit goza recently.

Oh, I love passion fruit. Yum. Most passionous. Passionist, passionate. Most passionate. Thank you very much, Amber. I'd love to think if I can, you guys. From BC, British Columbia, Mr. Chris Walters.

Mr. Chris Waters. Oh. Obvious one is watermelon, but... Oh, yeah. That is basically sentencing him to death. A slice of watermelon. Okay. As they grow in some parts of British Columbia.

She's fine. It's slices. Like a ring of it, so it's big enough and it hits him in the fleshy part, and he ends up wearing it like a necklace. Yeah, but then he gets to go, uh, uh, look his face and it's watermelon-y. I also actually had a really nice watermelon beer while I was in Adelaide. God, you've had a lot of fun, haven't you? Yes.

You've lived in the high life. Living Lhita Loka. Yes, no doubt about that. She bangs, she bangs. Sure thing. With any others there? The Cup of Life? Nah.

I haven't felt like it might have almost been as relevant, if not more. Nah. Drinking from the old. Nah. Yep. Could I also thank from Clifton Hill, not too far from where we record here, Mr. Kieran Robertson. Here's to you, Mr. Robertson.

And what got a fruit are we hitting Kieran with? Banana. Banana. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's coping a banana to the head. Oh, he's coping a banana boy. Banana boy. Banana boy.

All right, thank you so much to Kieran and Chris. I would like to thank keeping it closed as well. From Bell Park in Victoria, Peter Shellis. Pumpkin. Peter Shell. Peter Pumpkin. Peter Chalas Pumpkin eater? Yep.

And so pumpkin probably is a fruit, is it? It's got seeds. It grows... Yeah, I believe it is... That's one of those trick ones. As a kid, I would have sworn a pumpkin was a vegetable. So avocado is also one. Wow.

And tomatoes. That was the other one that I... I basically think of sweet and savory as a kid. Yeah. But that turns out to be BS. I love avocado. Yeah, Avicado. Yeah.

Like every white woman in their mid to late 20s. Well, call me a white woman in his mid to late 20s, because I also love aviqa I love it more. Well, there's three white women in their mid to late 30s or 20s in this room. I had some beautiful avocado on dark rye this morning in Mount Gambier. Okay, we get it. You've travelled. You've travelled.

You keep name-dropping all these big locations. All right. We've been here in Melbourne while you've fucked off. Sorry, Jess. And I've not had any nice avocado. Don't say that about Melbourne. All right, finally, I'd like to thank from Vancouver

Great name here Simon Bermudas Simon Bermudas A triangle fruit Yeah, something Again a slice of something Yeah A triangle fruit

A Doritos fruit No Okay It's fairy bed of food A berry bed I'm always intrigued by star fruit Yes, it's yum Yeah

It's a mani cut down the middle and it's a bloody star. I reckon he was hit by Starfruit. Starfruit. Simon Bermudas from Vancouver. Enjoy a starfruit on us because it's just hit you in the head, no. Starfruit to the noggin. If you get hit in the head by Starfruit,

you should go straight to Hollywood because you are about to go big, baby. Big time. Big time. Thank you to all our fruity legends there for supporting the show. And if you want your name right out or you want the bonus episodes and all the other stuff that goes along with it, go to patreon.com slash do you go on pod. Now. I was saving pomegranate and now I've run out of names.

Do you want to say I got hit by a pomegranate? Yeah. They're the ones with the little beads in them? Yeah, they're yum. What a ridiculous and amazing piece of technology that is. So good in a salad. Actually, on a smashed avo. Delicious.

Oh, sorry, I accidentally said something that must have sounded like OK Google there. Oh, and I did again. That time much more accurate to OK Google. Oh, and that time again. Okay. sorry everyone at home. All right, as this is one of our longest episodes ever, we must wrap it up and say thanks for listening.

If you want to suggest a topic into the hat, you can find the link in the description this episode. It takes you to a little form. You tell us why it's cool, and then we report on it. That's how it works. That's how works. And you can get in contact anytime at do go on pod on any of the social medias or do go on pod at gmail.com.

Yes. But we hope to see you if you are in Melbourne sometime at the end of this month or in April. But apart from that, We'll see you next week or you're here next week. And until then, I'll say thank you and goodbye. Later. Bye.

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