Two In The Think Tank - 124 - Isaac Newton (with guest ANDY MATTHEWS!)
Episode Date: March 7, 2018This week we are joined by friend, 'Two In The Think Tank' podcaster and self confessed "biggest Do Go On fan", Andy Matthews! Andy brings us a report about a scientific legend, Isaac Newton! Thi...s is a mammoth episode and it is a lot of fun.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSubmit a topic idea directly to the hat: http://bit.ly/DoGoOnHat Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure
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DGO Dave, was that stand for?
I do go on.
I thought you were going to say something funny there. Andy?
Damn good one.
Ah Jess can you say something funny, these two fucked it up.
Don't
Jess is the worst
Go out there
Is that there one word?
Yes, why are I said it?
That's all I want to say Dave. Thanks ship station. Do go on my name is Dave Wonigay and I'm here as always with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello Jess and Matt
Dave
This is very exciting because it's not just three of us in the room right now. There's four of us. Are you pregnant?
Could refer to Matt's large ego or something like that. I'm pregnant. We'll go with that. That's good
It's good now. We're here with my son that I just gave birth to Andy Matthew.
How are you?
How are you, buddy?
Thank you so much for having me on the show, Dad.
Oh, it's great to have you here.
And we are a big fan of your work.
Many people will know you from the two-in-the-think tank podcast.
Yes.
I just know you from friendship.
Thank you.
Many of you may know me from friendship. And and birth. And of course my
recent birth. How was it made the news for being the first one to take place from a non-pregnant
man on a podcast? Yeah. Yeah. Why you weren't even pregnant, Dave. I don't know. I'm not a doctor.
That's what I'm trying to say. Right. Now we knew that. How did you find the doctor?
I thought he was the doctor of podcasts.
That's true. He never did that degree.
Yeah, that PhD is very much pending.
How did you find the birth of Andy?
Quite pleasant.
Okay. Yeah. I can imagine that.
Some people would say that having a beard would be uncomfortable.
It would scratchy on the way out.
It actually felt quite smooth.
Where's it coming out from?
It being Andy.
I'm confused by Andy being larger than you also.
That's confusing for me.
Who would have been wearing you like a puppet in there?
Yeah.
If it's easy, we should be asking Andy how it feels
to finally be free from that strange little cage
he was in, that skin cage.
You're a skin cage.
We're all in a skin cage.
We're all pregnant with just a skeleton, man or woman who, when we do eventually give
birth to them, will concern the doctors.
Yes. And not get like, so be like one of those ugly babies on Facebook,
you know, who like, you look at it and you're like, it's a picture of a baby here,
this should have at least a hundred likes. And then you see a baby and it's got like 20 likes,
you're like, oh, that's all. And so on and that's as they're engagement and get about 15, you think, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no oh no, people do not approve this. They will not last.
I think that's a death now.
And I think a man sized skeleton baby, probably like you'd be lucky to get what?
10.
I'd say that it go viral.
I reckon that'll be pretty big news.
I definitely think before I ever get engaged or married or have kids, I'm gonna just do a bit of a survey of my friends first,
just to find out sort of how people are feeling,
like hypothetically, if I were to announce
like that, how would you respond to that?
How many likes?
Yeah, I wanna know what I'm looking at.
See like Photoshop up a fake fiance.
Maybe.
And maybe.
So like the modern thing of asking the father
for permission to propose us asking all your friends
for validation.
Yeah, and I want confirmation and a guarantee
that I will have a certain number of likes.
Facebook should set up pre-warks.
So you can wear bookies.
Yeah, that is fantastic.
Oh, I love that.
Well, it's a big step, isn't it, to put something up there and you're not sure how it's
going to go?
But if there was like just a little subsection or whatever, where you get people to book
in your pre-likes, it's like a futures market, you're like, I know there's a market out there
for what I'm going to post.
Yeah, I think with confidence put this up.
I might even do something sincerely online if that happened. Yeah. I think with confidence put this on. I might even do something sincerely online
if that happened.
Yeah.
If I could be guaranteed.
That's right.
I think it would also be a really handy tool
in terms of assessing your relationship.
Like you might think you love someone,
but if you're only gonna get 10 likes
on an engagement post, something's not right.
Do you really love them?
You mustn't love them.
You mustn't love.
Your friends and family have spoken. They don't love them? You mustn't love them. You mustn't love them. Your friends and family have spoken.
They don't love them.
You can do better.
You know?
It's fascinating.
There's a gap in the market and will all be rich.
Yeah.
Let's lock that in before this podcast goes on.
Yeah.
Dave, what's the show about again?
Dave, you haven't heard this show before.
One of us is going to do a report on a topic that the other three don't know what they're going to talk about.
And this week, it is our friend, Andy Matthews, turned a report.
If your day of your report, we've actually been talking about having you on for a long,
long time.
When we started the show, we talked about potential guests.
You were definitely out there.
Thank you.
What happened?
So we've been very excited to have...
What I'm trying to say is we're very excited that this...
Your schedule of moving houses between Rura Victoria and Melbourne CBD and back. We've been very excited to have what I'm trying to say is we're very excited that this fun your schedule
Yeah, I'm moving houses between Rura Victoria Melbourne CBD and back. It's been an open invitation this whole time
And I know I just said I'm gonna redeem this. I hope it's still good. Yeah, and
It was it was and I think I like I don't know if you've had someone on the show before you have who is as much of a fan of the show as I am because I'm also
I think the biggest fan of Do-Go-On. So this is gonna be a nightmare of Injokes probably. I like I spent some time trying to choose a topic
based around various Injoke criteria that I wanted to tick off and in the end it got too complicated.
So I was like, I've got to find somebody who's like from a family with lots of kids.
Are you fan-girling a little bit at the moment? From like, yeah, yeah, I know, yeah, massively.
All my fan-girl bits are flopping around
all over the place.
Put them away.
Fangirl to the max.
But no, then I come up with a different topic.
Would you like me to introduce the topic now?
Yes, well, you usually start with a question.
Oh, I know.
I know.
Look, I didn't want to...
I just thought you were going to say the topic is,
and I was going to say, look, you're clearly not the biggest fan. I'm't want to, I just thought you were going to say the topic is, and I was going to say,
look, you're clearly not the biggest fan. I'm aware of the question, much more aware that you
got to seem to be, with your, once again, I haven't thought of a question, but that being said,
I was very cocky about my ability to come up with a question very early on in the report writing,
and then as the date approached, the question seemed to allude me further and I actually only just came
down to the final decision very, very recently. So...
Are you still in because you still haven't decided?
No, why are you talking to me? Here's my question.
Okay.
Who is the person?
Okay, it's a person.
question. Okay. Who is the person? Okay, it's a person. Okay. Oh, just who? Who is the person who is most notorious for looking at fruit? Oh, I'll give you a, it's a person
from history. Oh, good. Is it that comedian that headbutts watermelon? Do you reckon he
does that eyes open? Or do you reckon you were talking about yourself for a second. You're talking about Galaga. Galaga. So I'm the person who humps and then
that's what the melon is. But do you look at it beforehand? Or do you like lights off? No I'm
just staring. Yeah. Is it Eve? Eve? She probably had a good look. She really I'd off that apple. Yeah, is it the dad from the Coddy's at where the song
Why dad picks a fruit? You're all looking at the pick it
I put your hand in a tree
Yeah, no you wouldn't do that. I have a genuine it. I have a genuine yeah
Is it Isaac new it's Isaac new
Famos fruit observer. I was thinking we never clap.
Well, it's excitement and you actually got it right.
And it's a sciencey kind of one and the idiot got it.
I realized that well, it's appropriate then because that didn't actually happen.
That's a myth.
What do you looked at fruit?
So while he is famous for doing it, he probably never actually did it.
Never saw fruit. Your idiot status is preserved?
Like a good fruit. In a jam. Oh, preserved. Very good. Well,
here we go. Isaac Newton was born on January 4, 1643. A good year. Thank you.
Born on January 4th, 1643. A good year.
Thank you.
I'm real proud right now.
You pointed it to.
In Wallstorp, Lincoln Shire, Lincoln, Lincoln Shea, England.
Right.
So he was born on January 4th, 1963, not into 1643, but when he was born,
that's on our current calendar.
When he was born, they were using a different calendar
called the Julian calendar.
Currently we use the...
Gregorian.
Gregorian calendar.
Gregorian.
But actually, I didn't realize that had changed so recently.
I don't have that information.
But sometime between then and now.. But sometime between then and then?
Yeah, sometime between then and then.
It was sort of phased in.
And I think actually like Greece only got the modern calendar in like 1928 or something.
What did we gain or lose?
I'll tell you, the Julie calendar, which took effect in 45th BC, by Edict, it was the predominant
calendar in the Western world until it was refined and gradually
replaced by the Gregorian calendar. It has the same months and
same month lengths of the Julian calendar, but in the Gregorian calendar, years evenly divisible by 100 are not leap years,
except for years divisible by 400. Did you know that?
Years divisible in our current calendar, if a year, like every four years of the leap year,
unless it's divisible by 100, when it's not apparent.
So the year 2000 was not a leap year.
I guess.
Right.
And maybe it was.
Completely wrong, which is.
That's one of those things that I just wait until someone tells me.
I'm not there going, oh, next year, that's four years,
another leap year. I'll wait until if next year. That's four years another leap year
I'll wait until if someone doesn't tell me it's a leap year. I'll assume it's not a leap
That's my system. That's the mat Torian calendar not a leap year until proven yes
On yes is Gregorian from like what Pope Greg or something?
Gregory it is a Pope Greg that is my favorite fact so far.
I think it's Pope Greg the 16th.
What?
There's heaps of Greg.
In the U2000 there was a Feb 29, it just looked it up.
No.
So, what does that mean?
Greg's a liar.
Oh, okay.
In that case, I am somehow wrong.
Wait, oh, maybe that one's divisible by 400.
Oh, it is, 200,000.
Well, I 400 might leave maybe. So there you go.
Oh, Dave's always talking about his good amount.
So you're saying that the 19th century.
That's right.
Well, not all of this is not relevant.
The only point is that on the calendar that he had,
he was actually born on December 25th.
So he was born on Christmas.
Oh, there you go.
Oh, Christmas.
Amanda, you have to adjust your birthday, which if you're a Christmas baby, you'd was born in Christmas. Oh, there you go. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Isaac Newton was the only son of a prosperous local farmer. Only kid. Yeah.
Well, they definitely know what calls.
No, sorry, only son.
Oh, hello.
Could have had sisters.
They didn't bother mentioning.
I looked at several resources that did not mention.
Just not counted.
So there you go.
His father was a Yoman farmer.
Yoman.
He farmed Yoman.
Well, I think we all know what that is.
We can just move on.
Yeah.
What's a Yoman?
Hahaha.
As far as I can tell, it just means like a farmer.
So anyway, he wasn't like a big landlord, but he was doing well.
Ah.
He says Yoman around the countryside.
Oh.
Yep.
Yoman and the...
How does he greet people?
Yoman, Yoman, yeoman.
So his father was also called Isaac Newton.
What are the chances of that anyway?
And he died three months before he was born.
Ah.
Before his son was born or before he was born?
Which Isaac Newton?
No, we're talking about who you are.
Is that somebody with a calendar? That was the calendar change that
actually died before he was born. If divisible $500,000. On the Gregorian calendar, he was
he died at $48,000. Can I point out something quite interesting? Yes.
Andy will find it interesting, no one else will. If you look at the iPhone calendar at the year 1900, if you
look at it in month few, it says Feb 29 exists. But if you click on February, the 29th disappears.
There is no Feb 29 of the year 1900. I didn't know that. Oh, of course you didn't,
because it was 1900. Why the fuck would you need to know that?
I feel better knowing. I'm ready to die.
It's like, yeah, that's great.
Isaac was born tiny and weak apparently.
You did link it to Dave.
You chose someone.
But Dave remained that way for the rest of his life.
Hopefully, Isaac grows up big and strong.
And I think that's an interesting fact,
unless the person who put this fact online
didn't know what babies are.
So feeble.
He only weighs three kilos.
You think you'd die.
I thought men just came out of you fully formed.
Well, you're skinned, well, you did.
Yeah, skeleton muscle man.
Came for me.
When he was not expected to survive, but he did.
When he was three years old, his mother.
He's still alive.
Is that what you mean?
Yeah, he wasn't expected to live, but he's still alive.
Wow, he's still alive. Wow.
He's still going.
Maybe surprising.
That is very surprising, especially because he was born a baby.
When he was born three years old, his mother, Hannah A's Coff, Hannah Manna.
Hello, Fanna.
Her name was Hannah A Aizkoff Newton.
Aizkoff, you don't meet many Aizkoffs.
Not many.
You call name for a woman in aizkoff.
Is that one word?
Yeah, A-Y-S-C-O-U-G-H. Aizkoff.
She, thank you for acting out her name, I was like this.
She remarried to a well-to-do minister called Barnabas Smith.
Oh, it's a class.
We now call Acecoff's Farts.
Yeah, he gets pronounced.
It's those British pronunciations they trip you up, don't they?
We've anglicised it.
From the English. We've anglicised it. Yeah. From the English.
We've agglocised it.
The fuck out of it.
It was English to begin with.
Ah!
Anyway, so she went to live with her new Barnabas and left young Newton in the care of his grandmother.
Oh, what?
Was her name also Isaac Newton?
You wouldn't believe it, yes. You can take a kid with you. You can do that. No, she wasn't into it
small and weak
What a dud. Anyway, apparently this had an effect on him in case you were wondering his mum leaving him
Abandoning him. Yeah. So what a pussy. What it says here
Yeah, what a pussy.
What it says here
Isaac apparently hated Smith who her father's new husband
But he had no connection with him during his childhood. He had much more to do with his mother's new husband mother's new husband I'm sorry, I'm making a lot of mistakes. You're never see flustered. I'm very excited
He had a lot more to do with his uncle who was the rector of
Burton Coggles, which I've just put in because I love those words.
rector of Burton Coggles. None of that is that's gibberish. You put that on a business card. Yeah, please to me.
I'm available for anything you might need.
I want to then make rectories. rector of Burton Coggles.
I'm sorry. I've heard of your on LinkedIn.
Some sort of middle earth job I would put.
Do you have any idea what it means?
He's a wizard.
Oh, right.
Yeah, that's basically.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Just say wizard Andy.
It was a wizard.
And H12, he was really noted with his mother after her second husband died.
So she's having a good run.
A bit of a pattern for me.
A very interesting Hannah.
A's cough.
Newton.
A's cough, Newton Smith.
A third name now.
Sure.
Yeah, probably, quite possibly.
He was enrolled at the King School in Grantem, a town in Lincolnshire, where he lodged
with a local apothecary.
Oh, I was just an adelaide and they have an apothecary.
I said that one, didn't I?
A lot, did they have an apothecary?
I walked past a few times wondering what that was.
I look cool.
Try again to say it.
Apothecary? No, apothecary. That's a very good. I've spoon a few times wondering what that was. It looked cool. Try again to say it. A pock-a-theory?
No, a pock-a-carry.
A pock-a-carry.
Very good.
I've spoon-a-res-ed it.
That's not even right.
And a pock-a-carry is like a shit chemist.
I think, like a pharmacist is right.
Yeah, like before they had any genuine medicine.
So it's just basically a lunatic with a shop front.
Herbs.
Yeah, herbs.
Give me your herb.
Let's just have them in the middle. Arsenic. Get a bit of with a shop front. Herbs, yeah, herbs. Give me your herb, leachers. Let's show them in other words.
Arsenic, get a bit of arsenic on that.
When you said God's King's schools,
that way you learn to be a king?
It was, yes, yeah.
That was a bit, wasn't very well attended.
No.
But they aim high as well.
Selective entry, you know.
So you have to sit and exam before you get in and
the exam says, are you the son of the king? And if you don't get it right, you don't get
in. Right. He was amazingly so. While he was amazing, lodging with the apothecary, he
was introduced to the fascinating world of chemistry. And they got along well. His mother pulled him out of school at the age of 12.
What? That doesn't make sense. She put him in the school when he was 12 and then pulled him
out again when he was 12. She quickly realized, she did tip back. She quickly realized he
wasn't the son of the king. Exactly. You've got to get out of there.
No, I think maybe I made a mistake.
He may not have gone in when he was 12, but he was pulled out when he was 12.
And he was reunited with his mother when he was 12 and she came along and pulled him out.
Biggie, biggie when he was 12.
Yeah, whipped him out.
And her plan was to make him a farmer and have him tend to the family farm.
A young man.
As a young man.
Yep.
Oh, a boy. And a? As a gomen? Yep.
Oh, yo boy.
And...
Yo boy, yo boy, yo boy.
Raw hide.
And as he was a shith farmer, possibly because he was 12.
And he was farming shith.
And he was farming...
That's a sewage.
The brand.
Yeah, it's a sewage farm.
A sewage farmer.
No, yeah, it's just that.
Pum and pum and Pum and Pum.
Wait, how did we get to Raw Hide?
Dave, just a minute. It's from all the wiping.
Okay.
Pum and Pum.
God, he's fast.
He spent most of his time solving problems, making experiments and devising mechanical models.
Okay. So, he wasn't very interested in farming. He was tinkering.
He was a tinkerer. And so his mum got sick of this and sent him back to school until
his uncle persuaded his mother to send him to Cambridge, where because he was poor, he
was subsequently, he subsequently, he waited on tables and took care of wealthier students
rooms.
Just sitting on tables, waiting for...
Waiting, I don't know what for,
someone to give him money or something, or be told to leave.
Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like...
Hopefully,
to be told with nothing else.
You don't have to force a joke.
I thought that was very good.
Waiting on tables.
All right.
No, you're shit, man. That was crap.
Jess and I are friends and we don't like you.
Yeah, I get it.
But it's interesting that like if you were,
if you couldn't afford to go to uni,
I guess that was the aversion of like new start or something.
You can just like,
tell Pound around the place,
look after the Richies.
So Cambridge was always like a top-end school?
Yeah, it was really big.
And Cambridge actually had a seat in Parliament, which later on he took up.
Like a chair.
They just had a chair in there?
There was a chair in there.
She's misunderstood some things. And he said today.
Well, I mean, that's not even a joke because yes, they had a seat in parliament.
I don't know what to do.
I don't think you misunderstood it, Matt.
I think you just...
But I'm pretty sure that means that they also had a human that they were allowed to put
on that chair.
That is true.
They were at the seat that they had.
They were allowed to put a man on it.
See, that's the real value.
So he started out waiting on tables and later he waited on
shares, which is much more dignified. Good for him. That is their old system was wild though, because it used to be just
rich people in one house and then elected people in the other house. It's not still like that, is it? House of Lords?
They still have rich people, yeah. So one house is still just the... It's crazy. juke's and stuff. Yeah, it's really weird
Yeah, like Andrew Lloyd Webber for example wait. He's in he's got a seat
I think you only stepped down recently after about 30 years just because he's a famous billionaire
What's the female equivalent of an ill?
It's probably damn
It's probably Dame. No, Dame's and Jook's, Dame's and Serbs.
You don't know about Earls?
Yeah, Baronesses is Baron.
Yeah, Earls.
Is it girl?
Earls and girls.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
It probably be something.
Girlie, early.
And prior to commencing his studies, he was required to take a vow of celibacy.
So, is it interesting? No, fucking.
Because while he's studied. Yeah, while he's at uni. That's the prime time.
You're married to the text way about it. Tell me about it.
How, how binding is this vow? It's a pretty binding vow. I mean, a vow is quite binding.
But then being bound up, some people find sexy.
Yeah, that's true. That's a real, it's a double bind. It's a double bind.
Which is another bind, which makes it a triple bind. Oh my god. So, and that's so sexy.
I just like being caught up in administrative evidence. It's been a hot and bothered.
I like to fill out forms for like half an hour before we do it.
My fed men, you know, got a sense of emails.
I like to fill out a spreadsheet first.
Hmm.
Before you spread me on the sheets.
Yeah.
All right.
And he did a grip face.
I think he was mainly regretting putting himself in that scenario.
He could have put anyone in there, but he said it could have been nice.
It could have been me on the sheets.
And that was I think where he would be pretty strange if you'd said, yeah, before
spreading Dave on the sheets.
Yeah, that would have been someone. Yeah, that'd be a little bit easier. Could have been someone.
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, could have been Vegemite.
Oh, that would have been great.
Imagine spreading Vegemite on the sheets.
Oh.
No, that's no good at all.
I don't know why I thought that'd be good.
That's messy.
It seems like a great idea.
It's like, this will be fun.
Like most universities in Europe, Cambridge was steeped in the Aristotelian philosophy,
and a view of nature resting on a geocentric view
of the universe.
Even though most, or a lot of smart people
had worked out that the earth wasn't
at the center of the universe
I guess just because that's the way they'd always done it at the university
They was that was the way they still taught everything stickless on that sticklers stickled in in the mud and
Yeah, they thought the earth was at center universe and they believe a lot of Aristotle stuff
Aristotle I've written here was a genius, but also a total moron.
The best people are. Well, yeah. Yeah, Jess has got to hand up on an audio podcast.
I just, did I? Just proving her point. Quite well. So explain them more on
what Aristotle, like, if you ever tried to get your head around any of like ancient Greek
philosophy or anything like that
It's yeah, yeah, I mean heaps. Yeah, it's like
They tried to work out everything in the universe, but they didn't have science
So they were literally just making it up and then basing it on like riddles and
religion and you read it
It's still very important and interesting apparently and responsible for a lot of modern thought
But like trying to get your hair out it just seems like total garbage like it's just the stuff
It just sounds like everyone was just stoned at a party at 3am and just trying to work stuff out.
He was one of the characters on Bill and Ted's excellent adventure, I'm pretty sure.
So maybe it had someone to do that when he was plucked out.
When they went back, they probably left some doobies.
Yeah, yeah, I reckon there was some doobies.
Doobies.
There you go.
I loved watching Andy say doobies. Thank you. Don't a harsh your vibe, man.
Yeah. I felt very comfortable with it. I don't know what you were picking up on. Probably my
level of comfort. Yeah. It was an uncomfortable level of comfort. It was intense. And although
he graduated without honours or distinctions,
he's, if it's one in the title of scholar and four years of financial support for future education.
So I don't know.
So if you were getting distinction, what are you getting like, a yacht or something?
Yeah, two yachts.
Maybe.
You're getting four years of free education and you're not even very good.
I don't understand. I can't get my head around.
Look, education now you have to pay for and stuff and we're supposed to come a long way
but you just, I don't get it.
I don't see why they couldn't have given him that before he had to wait on the tables
and clean systems.
The wind system's.
The wind system's.
Anyway.
It's like, I could have used that
for years of education for my four years of education.
I've just done those.
Can we retro-spec that shit?
So far, that's a lot of like tinkering and stuff,
but no one's expecting all that much for it.
But now we get a really good name.
Humphrey Babington.
Oh, that's a great name.
Maybe that's towards the top of the list.
We got to get that.
I'm getting a bit of a list.
I'm getting a bit of a babington.
Babington.
Humphrey is a great star.
Humphrey is fantastic and then babington.
Yeah, that's got to be top 10.
Oh, that's good stuff.
Yeah. Like some of the names that we've lost track off, like A's cough and like thatington. Yeah, that's got to be top 10. Oh, that's good stuff.
Like some of the names that we've lost track of like A's cough and like that's fine.
I don't make sense.
I'm happy you've lost it.
But where are the babingtons?
Yeah.
Where are they?
If anything.
Show yourself.
You think there'd be way more babingtons around just from natural selection or whatever.
But interesting.
Maybe that's to change their names.
For some reason.
For some reason.
All the babingtons went into witness protection.
Moll people.
Really?
All of them.
Some ancient, Moll person.
Yeah, he was a hot Moll.
Anyway, so Humphrey Babington,
he was one of the senior fellows at At Trinity College.
He was the brother of a woman who Newton lodged with while he was a student.
Although it was not established beyond it, it seems that he may have helped him to get
appointed to get this stuff at Trinity, get the extra education and stuff like who you
know or who is the brother of the woman that
you lodge with. As they say. Yeah, it's the networking. That's where that saying comes from.
It's not what you know. It's not what you brother of the woman that you lodge with. It's who you
brother of the woman that you lodge with. Yeah.
Sixth expression.
Anyway, so you went back to State It Uni and then in 1665, the great plague came to Cambridge
and forced the university to close and he was away for two years.
That's great.
Great.
So you just got your four years of free education and you've just lost two.
To the plague.
It's like a plague day.
It's like a snow day, but like two plague years off.
You know, when you wake up in the morning
and like you look out the window
and everyone's got the plague and you're like,
it's gonna be a day off school.
Yeah.
Yes.
It'll be two years off school.
Yeah, you look at everyone's just got
past exploding from their bubos.
And you'd be a high-fiving and saying,
thanks mate.
Yeah.
As you skate, board down the street.
Or you get out your toboggan and you're probably toboggan
on all the past or something.
Yeah.
And the hill.
Oh, those were the days.
Do we mention the great plague last week?
Yes, we did.
So there's the same sort of time frame.
That was. There's been many plagues over there.
Yes, actually it was around for several hundred years
coming and going.
Right.
Well, it's coming at this stage, 1665.
They call it the great plague,
but I don't know if that's the same as the black death,
I suppose I should have looked into that.
Right, so the black death is the one that was like
killing half of Europe or what. But then it would go away and then come back. Right? The black death is the one that was like killing half of Europe.
But then it would go away and then come back.
Right.
That's how great it was.
Oh, come back.
Oh, of course.
Yeah.
It would leave.
And everyone's like, oh, God.
And they don't turn the lights back on in the gig.
It's going to come back.
The black stuff.
The black stuff.
The black stuff.
The black stuff.
The black stuff.
The black stuff. The black stuff. The black stuff. The black stuff. The black stuff. You still get excited when it comes back. And you feel, I don't know, tingling or something.
Yeah.
Itchy, bitter leaking.
Coffee.
Here we go.
Here it is.
Is that plus?
They're doing a big hips.
But during this two years off from uni, he was very prolific and he came up with the
original theory of calculus, which he called fluxions and the binomial theorem for expanding mathematical equations.
And he developed his theory of gravity that every particle of matter
attracts every other particle. So that's a pretty big one.
People didn't realize that at the moment at the time.
Yeah.
Right?
So like, people didn't realize that the same thing that holds the moon in orbit around the earth is
The same thing that like holds us on the ground and makes rocks fall down and stuff
They're like well, those are totally separate
Things for some reason and this is the time in which he would in theory have seen an apple falling off the tree and come up with the theory of
Gravity, but do you talk about where that myth came from? I do not know
No, do you want to make up something now?
Yes. Great. He was actually looking at an orange tree.
See, that's the myth, right? And you know, it just got away from history.
I mean, they've run with it. Does feel like a pretty lame myth.
Like if they're trying to sex up your story a little bit,
make it a bit more interesting. It feels more like maybe like a teacher was trying to explain it,
and that's like the kind of story they'd use. I think like a lot of the myths back in that time,
they had a lower standard for myths in general, I think, and I think it's also a time they believed in
witches and dragons and stuff. Lower standard, lower standard. You could get anything through as a myth in that time.
No.
Witches are secretly stealing our children
and controlling our minds.
A man saw an apple fall out of a tree.
The list goes on.
Yes, down.
Gonna sell the film rights to this one.
It's gonna be big.
Yeah, look, but also. Big, that actually changed a lot.
Didn't know the movie big, but ended up...
It started out then, and I knew about a guy watching an Apple, ended up being about Tom
Hanks growing up real quick.
You know, it was like when the network execs get their claws into these things.
Yeah.
Sidney Shindler gets his hands on us to rip.
So, he did some calculations to try and prove that this was the case and he wasn't successful
like proving that the moon is held in place by the same thing as like his calculations
came out wrong but it didn't stop him from believing it apparently and that is good science.
I was going to say that is sort of the opposite of what they teach you should do.
Yeah.
And while everyone like Newton is sort of the father of modern science in many, many ways
and is credited with a lot of the scientific method, which is like taking, you know, observations
of the universe and testing them and making theories.
So often it seems like he did things totally the opposite way.
He just was like, this is what it is, and I'll prove it
somehow. Yeah, I'll get back to you. And it's just that he was a genius and he was right most
of the time. Right, so there wasn't just lucky guesses, so there's not like a hundred things that
he said were factual that actually stupely wrong. We'll get on to that a bit because he also,
particularly later in his life, went a bit weird.
All the greats do.
Yeah, I'm Matt.
Yeah, I'm in my weird years.
Yeah, I'll win now.
He also came up with the three laws of motion.
Newton's three laws.
Loka!
That's Jess.
E.
And...
No, you're nothing.
I would like to second that.
Forward.
Yeah, very good.
Really good, yeah, great. Yeah, very good. Great.
No, does anybody know Newton's Lawson motion?
Do you care?
Do you want to do anything?
I think it's everything has an equal and opposite reaction
to someone.
That's the third one.
That's very good.
For every action force exerted by an object,
there is an equal and opposite reaction force exerted
on that object.
That's a big one.
Say it, but more difficult to understand.
Yep. Anything else?
Loca. He also came up with the first law of motion, which is that everything will keep moving
unless you put a force on it. So like, you know, if you throw, that's one like a spaceship
floating through space. Just keeps floating forever and ever.
So say everybody's doing a brand new dance now.
Exactly, because they've done it.
Yeah, that's cool.
No one's there to stop them.
Yeah.
And you guys said I was the idiot.
And the same thing that things won't move
unless you put a force on it,
like if something's sitting still, it won't work, move unless you put a force on it, like if something is sitting still, it won't move.
If you put a force on it.
And the second one, which is an equation about that the force is proportional to the acceleration
and the mass of the object.
Sorry, I just smashed a microphone there.
A lot of mass you put on that.
Yeah, I did.
And we saw a reaction.
Yes.
So is that the theory that everything falls at a similar speed?
Is that that one being put into practice?
Everything falls at a similar speed.
Well, sorry, everything.
Well, no, I'll stand by that.
I'll stand by that.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, no.
Sorry, you're right.
That, well, things accelerate at the same rate.
Yeah, so if you drop a bowling ball,
but you drop a peanut out of a plane, they'll fall at the same.
Wow, that's fantastic.
If there was, that is the case, if there was no atmosphere.
So if you're in a vacuum, that is correct.
In a vacuum, everything is.
Yeah, but how often Dave, are you dropping a peanut in a bowling ball in a vacuum?
Well, have you ever seen a vacuum ad that are obsessed with bowling balls?
Have you ever seen, ever seen Dave go bowling?
Have you ever seen Dave in a vacuum with a peanut?
He cannot hold on to it. It's slipping out of his little head.
It's like one of those game shows where you got a there's like a win box and you've got to grab cash. I'm trying to grab peanuts.
Oh, it's a problem. Oh, it fucking hurts. Oh, I've got a peanut. I ate it.
It's a bit in a time. It's a radio play there. Um, but yeah, so, so in a vacuum, so if you're in a vacuum, like if you're on the moon,
if you drop the balling ball and a feather, a balling ball.
A balling ball.
Yeah, you know when you go balling.
Yeah, I do.
As a baller, I'm a baller and I ball regularly.
Yep, yep.
I take my balling ball.
Yes.
And sometimes I go bowling and sometimes it's on the moon and sometimes it's a little bit
bowling. And sometimes I go bowling and sometimes it's on the moon and sometimes it's a job at bowling and
drop a feather at the same time don't like hit the ground or whatever the moon's version of the ground is
the moon ground
The mound I feel like a derailed it was that anything to do with that second law. Yeah, that's relevant to that second law
Thank goodness. I thought I was talking shit. No, that's great. I. Good job, Dave. So those are the three love science. Yep.
Big three laws, anyway.
Those are very relevant.
So you'll learn about my school.
Hey, Andy, what about this?
What's heavier, a ton of feathers
or a ton of bowling balls?
Hang on.
Yeah. Do you mean ton like in terms of weight?
Or do you mean like a ton of them? like you know when you got like a ton of
He's very good. I mean like a ton of stuff. Yeah, just got a ton of just got like a ton of bowling balls over there
I'm gonna ton of feathers over there. I was bowling balls. Yes, great well done
Good isn't he did he try and come up with a fourth law and just couldn't?
No, he was just appreciated the comedy rule three.
Rule three.
What's the rule three?
I'm glad you did.
How did you feel about the rule three, Jess?
Big fan.
OK, so three is OK.
That's a round number.
No, I hate three.
OK, well, that's the three is actually a number
that comes up a lot in my life.
It's the magic number, Jess.
All Jess's jokes is like nine examples and then a punctual.
She really beds down the concept.
It's the Perkins rule of 10.
Yeah.
You see her counting them off on a big news.
Here we go.
And you know when it's coming,
but it's much more satisfying because it's a round number.
Yeah, exactly.
You get it.
A lot of people will lose count by then,
so they're still surprised. Yeah. I thought that was only nine, no, I was 10. So he also developed techniques for grinding lenses
into shapes other than a sphere. So before that lenses were just spheres.
They've just, yeah, just were just like curved like a circle, right, which you can use for like focusing to a certain extent, but actually the best lenses are different shapes.
So if you want to make a telescope or a magnifying glass, it's not like a slice of a, because that's my glasses, right, they're not like half a half a ball, half a glass ball.
And they're three quarters of a quarter.
Three quarters of a glass ball. I'm peering through.
Yeah.
There are a bulbous, bulbous goggles there.
But yeah, so there are better shapes
than you worked out ways to make those accurately.
So he did all of this and he's two years off from school.
I would never go back.
Yeah, he's turned to school.
I'm starting to understand why this guy is well known.
Well, easy though, because he didn't tell anybody
about any of that stuff, right?
And that is a thing that continues throughout his life.
He's really, really reluctant to publish any of his work.
Is that out of embarrassment?
No, because he wants to make cash.
It's sort of out of embarrassment.
I think he's very, you see later on,
he cannot handle criticism of any kind
Because his mum left. I think I think this is one of the things like his
He's worried about being judged or being disliked or abandoned or something like that
So it's all comes since mum's fault
You know judging I'm gonna judge her parenting and say yeah dad mother. Oh my god. Oh, I don't do that Andy
Well, I'm sorry, but A's cough can
You can say you can say here. Thank you
Um, he also wrote a paper about infinite series and I've got a joke written down here
It's good to announce it.
All right, hit us with the joke.
We are not intelligent enough probably to recognize that it was a science joke.
So he wrote a paper about infinite series of written, like the Simpsons.
Because it gives everybody going.
And also assistant, like you wanted to get in and then joke,
because we talk about the Simpsons.
And you talk about the Simpsons.
That's great.
All the time.
We do normally back announce our jokes, not the ones.
Yeah, yeah.
But we go, there was the joke.
We're a bit like Isaac Newton, we're very, we don't like criticism.
Yeah.
So we defend our jokes.
Right, after the fact.
Yeah.
That was a joke you fuck heads.
Yeah.
Well, if you were like Isaac Newton, you wouldn't tell anyone your jokes at all until one of
your friends like told somebody else about it
or forced you to publish it somehow or other.
And then if people didn't laugh, you'd get furious.
So, I was published.
Pretty much.
What do you have?
So anyway, he wrote a paper about Infinite Series, right?
And he liked the Simpsons.
And he shared it with his friends.
Very good, that is good.
And he shared it with his friend and mentor Isaac Barrow. Okay, no. Early on he made that mistake.
Oh, dear.
That is wild for the parents.
Yeah.
They loved Zach.
Pretty sure the head was a sound.
Nine children, say, ran out of names.
As we all know, there's only eight.
And Isaac was one of the older kids.
There was also a Jay Zach, a Jay Zach.
So it just comes back around.
Yeah.
Yeah, M. Zach.
Start the process again.
Were there more Hansons than were in the band? Oh, what a laugh they had. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, is already making too much cash. So he shared this paper with his friend. He wouldn't normally tell
anybody anything, so he shared it with his friend. And Barrow shared the unaccredited manuscript,
because he didn't include his name as the author even when he gave him this paper. And he shared
the unaccredited manuscript with a British mathematician called John Collins, who identified the author,
and he said it just verbally. It's like the author is Mr Newton, very young, but of an extraordinary genius and proficiency in these things.
That's not bad.
Genius and proficiency.
And young.
Yes.
These are all desirable things.
What a catch to be young again.
He's really ugly though.
Yeah, my picture in my mind is looks like a judge with a wig head.
Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, I've got a description of him later on
Do you want me to go to the description now? So you can picture him or you'll just continue
Great
But yeah, that's the Serbia that's it. That is a good good wrap up very young extraordinary genius and proficient and very ugly
And no, there's no need to do
Don't go on set the dog face man. No, No, he's quite striking. He's got a good
quite like he's very shapely face. Lot of like features and stuff. A lot of scars. No, no, no, but
just three noses. Yeah. Like maybe not ugly, but like you wouldn't get bored looking at his face.
Okay. Yeah. I don't think there's many people that I've looked at
and gone, oh, bored.
You're on.
Yeah.
God, I'm sick of looking at that face.
You're not a genius.
Like this guy.
What do you mean?
Before we just, we agree that I was a genius and a moron.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I was an Aristotle.
Oh.
Newton's, his work was brought to the attention of the mathematics community for the first time.
And a fun community.
I know.
Pack of fucking nerds.
Yep, definitely a genius.
Go surfing or something, you fucking nerds.
Go outside.
You used to have a bunch of English people to go surfing.
Maths is dumb. Who needs it?
Pistagoras, more like fuck off. This is all in my report. It's amazing that you're getting all of this.
Exactly. We're just green. They all sit. So people knew about him now for the first time.
So his name's getting out there. And Barrow, Isaac Barrow, he resigned his professorship at Cambridge and Newton assumed the chair.
A bit like when Obi-Wan let's Darth Vader kill him so that Luke can be the new professor
of the ship. And Andy, can you go on there? He assumed the chair what?
And Andy, can you go on there? He assumed to share what?
Sorry, just something. It's a bit sensitive. Would be really comfy.
So he had a he sat in it. Had a sit, a little sit.
That makes sense. Sorry. And do you think that he
stepped down because he was old? Or was he like,
you're better than me, you should be in this job. A lot of people with these jobs just seem to, they stayed in them until they were dead,
right?
So I think he must, I reckon there's a good chance that he saw how good this guy was
and was like, let's get him in.
I can't compete.
That's great.
So he's got a nice sized ego.
A lot of people would just fight on, right?
Yeah.
No, I'd say healthy.
Yeah. He's got self-regard, but he doesn't need to prove anything. Yes. A lot of people would just fight on. Yeah, no, I'd say healthy.
He's got self-regard, but he doesn't need to prove anything.
Yes.
And when he sees somebody coming along, he's like, oh, he goes.
Was this a famous guy?
My name is Toby One.
Toby One.
This is Isaac Barrow.
This is just another nice place.
Oh, this is Barrow, here.
So this was his job as a professor at the university, right? He lectured once a week for half an hour for one term of the year,
dictating his lectures so far as fast as they could be written down.
Right, so that was...
Half an hour, once a week for maybe a quarter of the year.
That's a good gig.
Yeah, so like ten lectures a year or so.
Ten hours.
But...
It was a different calendar.
Five hours. Yeah, different calendar. like 10 lectures a year or something like that. 10 hours. But it was a different calendar. Five hours.
Yeah, different calendar.
That was 900 weeks.
But he would let students come and ask him questions about the lecture for four hours.
I was going to say, for four minutes, one day a year.
So he's worth a lot.
That'd have been intimidating, right?
But what was he like as a person, a chat to?
Do you know, do you have that kind of intel? Yeah, I do. I I've been intimidating right but he's what was he like as a person a chat to do you know
Do you have that kind of intel? Yeah, I do actually yeah, not good right not good. He was sort of
vague like he was always thinking about other stuff and he would take offense at really
Things that people hadn't really said that were offensive like he seemed to be very sensitive and
Yeah, so anyway, so it would have been a fun four hours.
But he was doing basically a four hour work week,
which I think is very ahead of his time.
Very modern.
Did he put a lot of money into like shares and Bitcoin and stuff?
Yeah, right.
Guy is good.
We, we'd diets and health routines.
What's that guy's name?
Pete Evans.
I thought I was talking about Tim Ferris.
Tim Ferris. Right. Pete Warkw you know about Tim Ferriss? Tim Ferriss.
Before our work was.
Oh, so that is who that is.
Right, so I was trying to do a reference to something
I had no idea what it was.
I think you're in the same sort of ballpark.
Only I think Tim Ferriss might be a bit more legit
than Pete Evans, although I have no idea, really.
Pete Evans is the judge on my kitchen rules.
Yeah, he is, but he has weird food stuff like that.
He has a lot of thoughts.
Yeah, he's a caveman.
Paleo.
But I think he's more than happy to work for more than four hours a week.
Yes.
And get paid millions of dollars.
Good man.
So he spent a lot of time investigating light.
It's very interesting, light.
Right.
And he's an extract describing an
experiment that he did. So this is from reading from his diary, which is like an old English
so I'll try and not old English, but it's like, you know, before they had spelling and like
sentences and stuff. Yeah, it's relatively old Andy. I think 400 years, you could call that
old English. It's all right. Yeah.
And by the way, do you guys know what a bodkin is?
Yeah, obviously we all know what a bodkin is.
We can move on from bodkin.
It's actually the idiots at home.
Yeah.
What is a bodkin?
Would it give you a clue if I'm about to tell you that he pokes the bodkin in behind
his eyeball?
Oh.
Is that his partner or?
It's like a four point pen, I think.
It's you close. It's just a needle.
A needle, right?
So it's like a curved needle is a bodkin.
And he actually did that.
So if you, yeah, so anyway, I'm going to give you much more detail, Matt.
So get ready.
I don't know if I want to.
And if you want to picture what this looks like, there's a lot, there's a lot of like extra ease on the ends of words. It's tough. Like
Tuk has got an E on the end. Oh, Tukay. I took a, I took a bodkin and put it, as I took a bodkin.
I took a a bodkin and put it, but twist my eye and the bone as near to the backside of my eye as
I could, pressing my eye with the end of it, so as to make the curvature in my eye, there
appeared several white dark coloured circles, which circles were plainist when I continued
to rub the eye with the point of the bodkin. But if I held my eye and the bodkin still,
though I continued to press my eye in circles,
they would grow, faint and often disappear until I remove them by removing my eye or the
body.
So, has he just described blinding himself?
He's given it a fair crack, but he's got basically got a needle shut in under behind his eye
and is pressing and...
No, no, I can still hear it.
Took his headphones off, get away from the sound.
That's genuinely troubled, but I'm sorry.
Yeah, I have some bad eyes.
I'm happy with most things, but sticking things in eyes, I don't love it.
I'm imagining that he's doing this whilst he's doing that.
So this is science, basically.
Sorry, what was that? Is he doing this during his four hour work week? Well, people are trying to ask questions about the lessons and he's thinking about He's doing that. So this is science, basically. Sorry.
Is he doing this during his 4-hour work week?
Well, people are trying to ask questions about the lessons and he's thinking about other
things.
He's mainly about the pain in his eye.
Look, this would no doubt make somebody a bad conversationist.
If they were shoving needles in their eye while you were taught trying to talk to them,
yeah, that would be...
You'd be like, I get the hint.
I'll leave.
You've obviously got stuff going on. We're all right. You don't want a deal. You'd be like, I get the hint, I'll leave. Yeah, you fucking have. You've obviously got stuff going on.
We've got a lot of stuff going on.
We've got a lot of stuff going on.
You don't want a chat.
I would feel like a test, I reckon, and some sort of a good will hunting kind of way, some
sort of a genius test.
I can't remember that movie because does he ever stick things in his eyes?
Yes, that's all high-stabbing.
So it is.
I guess like this would be the equivalent at the time of somebody like looking at this
time while you were trying to talk to them
They're looking at their phone. Well, yeah, because he's seeing colored circles and stuff like there would have been no other way to do that
Yeah, yeah, so yeah, it would have just been I guess entertaining
Um, he also did a thing where he looked at straight at the sun for like a 10 minutes. Oh like Trump
And then yeah, yeah like Trump but worse and
like 10 minutes. Oh, like Trump.
And then, yeah, like Trump, but worse.
And he then had to spend like three days in bed with his eyes closed and a cloth over
his eyes because he almost bloated himself.
But, you know, that was what passed for science at the time.
And good on him.
Yeah, at least he was doing these tests on himself.
These days, I'd probably do it on someone else's program.
And science of today, they've lost, they've lost their nerve. Probably do it on someone else or I can science of today. It was what they've lost their nerve.
Probably do it on a rabbit.
Probably stepping it with a needle.
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In 1672, we invented the Reflecting Telescope and also the Sextant, although he didn't tell
anybody about it. You wouldn't if you were in Futurus if you invented a sex tent. Yeah, sex tent.
Sex tent.
Sex tent.
We can't even keep that in myself a little bit.
Like a false festival kind of a thing or a baby.
So you go with seven friends, each of you have a tent and there's the eighth tent, which
is the sex tent, which is fucked, but that's how we do it.
But he didn't tell anybody, so I guess nobody would have had sex in it.
Well, people just had to be like,
why is there that extra tent then?
Yeah, I mean, we've already got our own tent.
Why is there something sex in your own tent?
No, it's gross.
Oh, we all do it in the same one.
And then what I guess we hose it down or burn it?
Or just burn it.
We'll do it behind.
Burn it.
You don't want to keep that.
So, again, he wasn't telling people about things that he'd invented.
He showed that light could be broken up in a prism into colored light.
So white light, if you shine it through like a glass.
It's like this famous album cover of Dark Side of the Moon.
By. The famous famous band Pink Floyd from the United Kingdom with
with love. Thank you. Well that's a real expert. But yeah if you want to picture it that's what it is.
And that's so he was the first person to explain why how colors come from the rainbow Because that's you know basically sort of more or less in a sense what's happening with a rainbow light is being reflected
And yeah, how can you explain rainbows quickly? No
Okay, it's something to do with the water and the in the air
Yeah, so you've got you've got water spread throughout the air so you've had
Rain or cloud or whatever so it's little droplets of water all through the air and light, which is white light from the sun, which is a mixture of all the
different colors, comes in and goes into those droplets and bounces around in those droplets.
And when it comes back out of the droplets, different colors of light are like slowed down and
bent in the water at different speeds and so reflect back at different angles
So you're more likely to see you know read from a higher angle and blue from a lower angle or whatever the order it is that the
Rainbow comes for it. So that's why the sun always has to be behind you
I think for the rainbow will be in front of you and
Yeah, why is that why isn't in an arch? Is that just because the angle that the light is reflecting at is the same every point
around that arch, does that make sense?
So all those points are like a different at the same angle from you, all the red light,
all the way around that arch is the same angle to your eye.
Oh, no.
All the blue light is the same angle to your eye, all the way around that. I think same angle to your eye. Oh, the blue light is the same angle to your eye. Right.
All the way around that.
I think I almost understand what you're talking about.
What is the pot of gold coming to it?
Who's in charge of that?
It's a leprechaun.
If anything, you've kind of ruined the magic of rainbows.
Well, there is no magic, it's what I'm saying.
That's ruining the magic.
No, no, no, there was no magic, so I'm not ruining it.
Right. Just salt on a wound now. No, no, no, there was no magic, so I'm not ruining it. Right.
Just salt on a wound.
No, no, no, there was no wound.
Okay.
There's no salt.
Is there salt?
Oh, there's a bit of salt.
I'll sit take my besty day.
Free salt for all.
That's a deep cat.
Don't put any salt on that deep cat.
That deep cat of bloody hell.
That wound.
So there you go.
So he's doing pretty well. He's explaining
a bunch of stuff. He's not really publishing anything. He's putting a few notes in little
journals and stuff. So information is sort of getting out there and he's telling his
students, but like, I think the way you established firmly stuff at the time was to publish like
a big book or a big paper. And he's not really not into that because he doesn't want criticism.
Right. And is he, but he's got this bit of a reputation of this quiet genius.
I guess like there's buzz, you know, there's a lot of buzz around Newton.
Oh, yeah, he is somebody who's, you know, for his performance in Rainbow.
Was he in Rainbow?
Yeah.
Wow.
It's Rainbow a thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
Andy, you just explained it. Oh, yeah. It's Rainbow a thing. Yeah. Okay. Andy, you just explained it. Oh, yeah. It's rainbow a thing.
So he, but not everyone is keying on his discoveries in optics, specifically a bloke called
Robert Hook. Right? He sounds like the bad guy in this story. He does, and he very much is great. Did he
also do a lot of stuff at the back of his eyes with his hook hand?
his that is
Yeah
He shoved it in there
He wiggled it around and that was why he didn't like Newton because Newton used needle and he thought that was
Cheating a bit. Yeah hook had gone to all the efforts and like cut the hand off
Have a replaced with a hook. He was doing things right.
And this guy's just like holding up the rodkin.
Just rushing her.
Yeah.
Oh shit.
So he wasn't a fan.
He was the president of the Royal Academy, which is like the Royal Academy of Science or
whatever.
It's a big group of nerds.
Thank you.
He was a King nerd.
Yeah.
Nerd King. Oh yeah, all hell of fucking King of the nerds. King nerd. He was a king nerd. Yeah, nerd king. King nerds. Yeah, all hell.
Fucking king of the nerds. King nerd of nerd mountain. Yeah, it's all written down here.
Yeah, fucking nerds. So he criticized Newton's writings in a very condescending fashion. Oh, no.
In doesn't like criticism. That kind of tone. Oh, do you think that's how light works?
Oh.
Okay, nice one, you'd like to guess,
but not really, as you saw.
And you're a girl at my all-girl school,
because you nailed it.
Thanks.
Did not answer the question.
Yeah. I, I, I, I,
Fingert nail. Oh, I think of another girl thing. Yeah, we have fingernails, right?
Only girls do. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I just got stumps. I feel flaky. Fingert nailed it.
Look, man. Okay. I didn't see you doing a joke. And you won't be doing a joke.
Release you tried. Yeah, that's true. Newton went into a rage. He denied Hook's charge that
his theories had any shortcomings. Okay, so that's the strong comeback, I reckon. And I encourage you,
if anyone says anything nasty to you in the future say I'd deny that I have any shortcomings
It's the ultimate I do I do do that. Yeah, he do do is that that you do that
Shit that out. It's what I'm saying well, yeah, I do do not have any shortcomings
I put that in an envelope and I send it back to them. Yeah, the nerds those fucking nerds
Yeah, he's really getting...
Dave, do you get my mouth?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I thought that was some sort of mistake.
No, my...
Pretty clear, pretty clearly written in feces on the letter.
Yeah, Dave in brackets, nerd, one key.
Yeah.
Yeah, no mistakes.
It's pretty clear.
No mistake and no mistake.
It sounds similar.
No mistake.
Just start.
I'll give you self five minutes for that one.
This does feel like both the most intelligent episode
we've ever done and also the dumbest episode
we've ever done.
I hope I'm not being, am I being like boring?
Dress is yawning on the floor.
And she's just a rude bitch.
No, no, this is a fascinating story.
So I really do know nothing.
I knew, the only thing I knew about him was that
maybe there was an apple.
Yeah.
I knew that that might not have been true,
but I didn't realize that was not at all true.
I thought it maybe had been like really fluffed up
by Hollywood.
I can't deny that he may have seen an apple at some point.
Oh, stories, so yeah.
Everything there's a basis in truth for all these stories.
And Andy, I just want to point out as well
that I have really laid it on thick today
in terms of my criticism of nerds.
Yeah.
And I am stunned by that.
Yes, but I also acknowledge that, you know,
Alice does may not know that you do have a science background.
Yeah.
But you're one of the good ones.
Thanks, mate.
So you're okay.
When I'm saying fuck off nerds,
it's about people like you.
Yes.
But not you.
Yeah, date.
She's talking about date.
Yeah.
Okay. It's other people with skill sets and interests
and education that's similar to yours.
But I can take it.
You know what?
I deny that I have any shortcomings.
Great, great.
Yeah, I was so good to see that in action.
Yeah, it works.
It's really inspiring.
It really works.
And shut that rude bitch up.
If it was true, if he did see an apple,
what kind of apple do you think he would have seen for?
I've always imagined a red apple.
Interesting, me too.
Yeah, never really.
Is that right?
Look, you know, I've got thoughts on apples.
Matt, you've probably heard me on this topic and I just hope it was one of the good apples
and not one of the shoot apples.
So I'm thinking like a pink lady.
A lot of the pink lady.
But not a red delicious.
Fuck off red delicious.
Fuck off red delicious. Red could red delicious. Fuck off red delicious.
Red could delicious looks like a good fake apple.
And basically is one of the tools.
And it tastes like a fake apple.
It's a lottery.
It is so powdery.
And like bitter and that skin is so thick.
I like a crisp pink lady.
Thank you.
That's right.
Number one pink lady.
Two, maybe a Fuji.
Fuji's pretty good. Cox, Pink Lady. Yeah. Two, maybe a Fuji. Fuji is pretty good.
Cox's orange pippin. Just like saying it. I don't know what it is. It sounds like an orange. Yeah.
Does or a fish. Could be a fish. Oh yeah. So one of the differences between Huck and Newton, Huck was older,
but one of the differences scientifically was that he was older than he was also scientifically.
Fact, yeah. So there you go. While Newton thought light was particles, right, he thought light
was like tiny little balls of stuff that were like bouncing off things. Hook thought it was waves, so he
was thought it was some sort of wave probably in this thing that they all thought existed that
was the ether, which just like permeated everywhere in the universe and was like an invisible,
undetectable substance that was all through space and through the air.
Okay. What waves is more accurate, isn't it? I was going to say, I could not tell you both of
those sound wrong, but waves sounds more right to me.
If you were gonna say it's not particles or waves,
what would you say it is?
I would say it's mist.
Oh.
Oh.
So this was lit up by mist.
Have you heard the term a light mist?
Wow.
That's what it is.
No, actually, I don't think that's a big
that people say very often.
But people say that. I like to miss that there coming from our light.
Sun. Sun. May I also have a step? Yeah, I think it's a feeling.
Yes. Okay. That's good. I didn't really, yeah, I didn't consider that, but I agree.
Well, you're both wrong.
And both of these guys are also both wrong, but they're also both right.
Light is both a wave and a particle.
So there you go.
Which is if you're going to put it into one word, Jess, a feeling. Thank you.
Or a pave or a wharticle.
They should call it that a wharticle is a wharticle.
It's not having a wharticle. They should call it that. A wharticle is a wharticle. A wharticle is a wharticle.
Oh, having a wharticle.
Yeah.
So they are actually both incorrect, yet correct.
Yeah, because it turns out moves in photons, which are little packets of stuff, which is
kind of like a particle, but also they behave like a wave.
So they demonstrate all these properties of waves. Like, sort of, they interfere with each other like waves do,
and they reflect and move through things like waves do.
So, yeah, it's kind of-
Guy can move through you.
Um, light can, well, X-rays, right?
Right.
How are a type of light?
So that's just like a really high-energy, high-frequency light.
So they can move through you, gamma rays with like radiation,
they can move pretty much straight through you.
Yeah, the higher energy it is, the more easily it can go through stuff.
Or if you're wearing like a very thin blouse.
Yeah, thin blouse.
Yeah, I've not often worn a blouse.
Yeah, or like you've got a wet t-shirt on. But if they are, if you are wearing a blouse. I mean, I am worn a blouse. Or like you've got a wet t-shirt on. But if you are wearing a blouse.
I mean, I am wearing a blouse.
I don't often wear it.
But if you are wearing one, it's always thin.
Yes.
And wet.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So that's what it is.
You're right.
No, so it's both.
So anyway, he's not dealing with this well.
This.
I love the idea that he just can't take
criticism. But it's also when I say they go hard at each other, but I guess that's how it has to work.
Everyone's going hard at each other all the time in this period. Like, there's, it's all like
writing letters to, because even these guys, they hate each other, right? And they're like
constantly writing letters to each other. And... Strongly worded letters.
Strongly worded letters. Oh no, I think you'll find. I think you'll find.
I think they used that a lot.
Yeah, you probably just had a stamp that said,
I think you'll find.
And then you'll be,
this sign is known.
You're actually right.
What do you think he'd find?
Well, it's the equivalent of autocomplete
or something at that time.
So how he dealt with this criticism was that he delayed
publishing his book about it until all the critics were dead
Which I think is a you know strong move. Yeah, including hook including hook. Yeah, didn't publish and hook died in 17
I'm interested in no new critics were born in those years
Well, actually my dream is to outlive the critics
One of the things was that he was I, because he was young and having a lot of,
you know, coming up with a lot of new theories, a lot of the older people were, you know,
sticklers in the mud.
Yeah, they weren't there.
They weren't hip to his new way of doing things, you know.
I guess you could say he was a bit like Kevin Bacon in Footloose.
Yep.
And Hook was like the mayor of whatever that town was, the band dancing.
Footloose.
Footloose town?
Footloose, yeah.
Footloose Virginia.
What a stupid fucking rule.
Right.
Dancing.
No dancing.
And that was John Lithgow.
And he's fun.
Yeah.
He's now Winston Churchill.
Wasn't that John Lithgow?
Probably.
But that was making the rule in Footloose.
I feel like it wasn't, but it could well have been.
He's been the same age for his whole life, John Lithgow.
You should have been.
Yeah, it's really impressive.
Yeah.
You go, like, grey early.
Yeah.
And then you just coast.
Newton did that.
Newton went grey at 33 and just had like thick gray hair for the rest of his life.
So you do it. And especially in that kind of game where you want to be like respected.
Dignified. Yeah. Yeah. You want to look older than you are because people go,
you're young, what would you know? Yeah. So check out this mop. Yeah. And this scar
upon my eye. It looks like my head is surrounded by a light mist,
but it's actually my arrow. But it's actually light, not mist.
Same, same.
So, there's hooked,
there's hooked the man that we don't know
what he looks like, is that that man?
I have no idea what he looks like.
What do you mean?
There's that man, that science man,
and then, that man, that science man, and then...
That man, that science man.
When he died, they're all like, look, I don't like this.
I hate this guy so much.
They burnt the only portrait that existed of him
because everyone had it so much.
No way.
That's really possible.
That was the case.
I know that Darwin had a similar relationship with a bloke
who I think was also the head of the Royal Academy
and he hated him and...
His name was great.
I'm probably thinking of that guy.
It might have been the same guy.
You might be thinking of the same guy.
I don't think that's hook.
And I can confirm, are you guys having a separate conversation?
That was just debriefing on a miss.
I just had a swing and a miss
and then I was just talking it three with Jess off-mic.
Yeah, I've had a few of those.
I think quite different.
You're batting it.
I don't know what that, I've heard them say this in America a lot,
because I don't really understand baseball that much,
even though my team that Detroit Tigers are a very good team.
I've heard people say they're batting at something and something,
but I don't know what the number should be.
Anyway, I think you're batting it 10 and 0.
Okay.
Thanks, mate.
Thanks, nice.
That was about to thank you.
Thank you.
So yes, they continue to have a rivalry
and he's continuing to publish anything,
to refuse to publish anything
that anybody might have an issue with,
which I think is a good way to get ahead.
Yeah.
I'm doing anything.
Yeah.
Another good way to get ahead is just to, you know,
saw one off a body.
No, I'm gonna take a little nap.
Right.
So they continue to write letters to each other,
but then in 1678 Newton Suffolk,
a complete nervous breakdown and a stock writing
letters to anybody.
And then the death.
That's the show it. Yeah, the death of his mother, the following year,
caused him to become even more isolated.
And for six years, he withdrew from any scientific exchange
except for when other people initiated it.
And even then, he always kept it short.
So, used a lot of emojis.
And abbreviations, and it's just like so's so's can't yeah
science can't science science science was like SCNC yeah yeah they got it
can't science
some thought it was thank you can't say else at that time.
Well, like, that's fine.
I just wanted to come right and talk about gravity.
Well, he kept studying his, he kept working on his study of gravity and planets.
And, uh, ironically, the impetus that put him in the right direction, he
study came from Robert Hook, Hook wrote to Newton, uh, and brought up the question
of planetary motion and suggested,
because while he had this idea about gravity, right,
he had the idea that everything was universal gravitation,
everything's attracted by the same force,
the moon and the apple and all that.
He didn't have like any maths or anything to back it up, right?
So Hook wrote in a letter suggesting
that on planetary motion a formula involving
inverse squares might explain the shape of planets orbits. Okay. So why they're going around.
It's an inverse square or square. No. It's not answer. I thought I might have found
them out there. I said, anyone else want to have another guess about what an inverse square?
It's an inverse square not a square.
Yes, in a way.
Thank you.
But also not, it is.
So a squared number is like x squared, like two.
I'll tell you about numbers.
Two times two, right.
But an inverse square is not this.
I know this.
It's the thing with that squiggly line.
Am I right? I don't think you are. But an inverse quiz. I know this. That's the thing with that squiggly line.
Am I right?
I don't think you are.
I mean, in a long division, in a way all writing is squiggly line.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So yeah, it's all your thing.
You cast a wide net.
It's what I'm saying.
I've cast a correct net, I think, with what's the word.
Correctly wide.
Yes, you've scaled the ocean floor and you've denuded an entire ecosystem.
And you've killed a lot of penguins, but you got the staff and you're after.
You got your scallops.
I'm after the last one, I don't think.
Please explain our inverse squares.
Inverse squares, like one over x squared, right?
So one divided by the number square, that's what inverse means in that. So anyway, that's like part of the equation. If you want to think about algebra, but if you
don't want to think about it, that's fine. I don't, because I'm not a fucking nerd.
But what it's saying is that like, if the distance increases by two, then the strength of the gravity
is going to go down by a factor of four. If the distance increases by a factor of three,
then the strength of the gravity is going to go down by a factor of four if the distance increases by a factor of three then the strength of the gravity is going to go down by a factor of nine.
No, and thank you Dave. Let's do a separate pod number. I'll tell each other a mass problem.
I'm sorry, it's just an excuse. Matt, you and I can do all we just talk about like skateboarding and being galley.
Shackers, hands and balls.
Shacker hands and balls.
So they wrote a few more letters to each other,
even though they hated each other,
and then quickly broke off all communication, right?
So what do you think might have happened?
He was criticized.
Not on this occasion, actually.
Did he crack it?
Cracked the code.
He panicked.
I think, and I could be wrong, but I reckon he cracked the code.
He worked out the solution, and he didn't want to have to share the credit with Hook,
so he stopped communicating with him.
And waited till Hook died.
Uh, pretty much.
Yeah, I don't know about that one exactly.
How do you feel about that morally?
Newton is a bloody complicated cat, and he's like, people say he's very modest, but at the
same time he's really, really defensive of ideas that he thinks might be his, and he
is pretty mean to people who want to share the credit for various things.
So bit of an asshole. Yeah, but brother, help you.
It's just mother. It's also his enemy. It's like having to share the credit with your enemy.
The man you hate the most.
Is it interesting that like back in the day if you had an enemy you had to still write letters to the
natives? I hate you. I hate you too. I hate you more.
You can't just like, I don't know, write snarky comments on there.
Yeah, I've read some of the letters between Lennon and McCartney and stuff as well.
I really?
I don't know, I've really gotten on.
It's pretty, I don't know, it feels a bit weird reading them really, but.
And but they were writing letters.
Did they have to like sort stuff out?
Did they have to like, work out rights and stuff?
No, what the ones I was reading recently weren't about that necessarily.
It was more just like, yeah, sort of like, you know, that sort and stuff. No, the ones I was reading recently weren't about that necessarily. It was more just like, yeah, just sort of like, you know, that sort of
subtle bitchiness sort of stuff. Yeah, but it's so much effort to write something down.
Yeah, well, I guess, yeah, what, I don't know, they were very, they were rich. They could have just
sent a person around and said, remember these words and tell them to John, please.
Little.
I was the Beatles.
If you were the Beatles, you would have sent a person around
who would remember your speech.
Yes.
So in 1684, Hook mentioned his theory too.
So Edmund Halley of the Halley's...
Colleys Barry.
Halley's Barry? Of the Halley's... Harry. Harry's Barry?
Of the Halley's Barry.
Oh wow.
What's in Halley's comment?
Oh wow.
Yeah, it was a huge Barry.
That's what he thought it was.
Flowing Barry.
Yeah.
Well, he looked at the falling apple and then he looked at the comet up in the sky, said
there must be the same thing.
This one's bigger because
it's an apple. That one must be small. It's probably a berry.
A berry or a grape. That might best guesses.
Yeah. Halley's growth. And also his name was Edmund Halley. Yes, he did see the combat
and he predicted when it would return. So Halley visited Newton. So, Hook has told, just talked about his theory with Halley,
Halley visits Newton, and Newton's just coming out of his like six years of being a recluse.
And this is the wording from the source, then I saw. Halley idly asked him what shape
at the orbit of a planet would take if it's attraction to the sun and followed the inverse
square of the distance between them. You know one of those idle questions that you're
just like chitchat, small tour. Then that. Yeah. Anyway, that's good to even recreate the question.
That's a rule of three. That's rule of one. Rule of trail off, just whatever Andy just said.
Just refer to if you think it's clear.
Because they think you wouldn't notice, but you always do.
So, Halley asked him this question and he's asking hook.
No, he's asking Newton.
Oh, sorry.
He's already talked to hook.
He talks to hook.
Halley talks to hook.
And then Halley goes and talks to Newton Because they're not talking, you know,
hook and Newton, not talking.
Right, it's like go tell him this.
What, no, you tell.
Howley, I am howley.
Hang on, I'm very confused.
Who am I not talking to?
I don't think you're the person to take this message.
You're clearly struggling with the basics.
Yeah.
You're maybe some sort of astronomical genius, but you can't conversationally very bad.
Don't shoot the messenger. Hang on, who's the messenger? Am I the messenger?
Who should I not shoot? Should I shoot everyone else?
So he's asking this question and Newton replied instantly and ellipse.
Right? And ellipse. So it's going to be the shape of an ellipse. You know, ellipse is, yeah. It's the two dots, no three dots,
dot dot dot. That's an ellipse. Oh, that's multiple. So it's one dot. No, it's like a squashed
circle. All right. So, it's a, it's a, to the layman out there. If that was the case, a,
Is it to the layman out there? If that was the case, how amazing is the fact that oval, the word oval, comes from over
for egg because it's like shape like an egg.
That is amazing.
I mean, of the things you said today, not the most amazing.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't want you she's fine, everything.
She's still fucking yawning so much.
I think I'm warm.
I'm a little bit.
Oh yeah, one of those warm yarns.
I'm a warm yarn.
You're warm.
You're warm.
Do you think, you know, you're talking about Halley's comet?
That's pretty, that's not something we'd need to explain.
I only vaguely know about it.
It happened in the 80s, right?
Yeah, I think it came past latest in the 80s,
but the Hanley's Commodus comes past like every 114 years
or something.
Right, so we were excited.
Oh, way the year!
Are you fucking kidding me?
Eight in comments?
114.
Oh.
Well, maybe we should just change the calendar
to make that work.
I thought it was in this, was in something like 70 years.
Could be.
I'm okay with that.
Because I know that it must be in a lifetime because Mark Twain.
I saw it twice.
Or famous writer.
He was born in the year of Haley's, that Haley's comment came past the earth and he predicted
that he would die the year it came back and he did.
Wow.
That doesn't sound true.
A fantastic fact and I can tell you, you are correct.
It comes past in the vicinity of every 75 years,
making it possible for a human to see it twice in their life.
The last time it was here was in 986.
So I could see it twice.
I could see it twice.
You guys are shocked in only one Haley's comic for you.
If that you could die young.
If that, I know.
Does it predict when the next one will be?
2061.
Oh, I will not be here.
Will not be here.
You are the, I feel same like one of the healthiest people
I know Dave, you stretch every night before bed.
That's true.
And in the morning.
Wow.
Double stretcher.
And like, is that a secret to a long long long long long
long long yeah you able to lengthen things does he stretch himself in the dimension of time?
Yes I stretch my age by one day every day. Wow. So half a day of restretch session. Yeah, one's right every 12 hours on the dot.
Wow.
A little alarm goes off.
Sorry guys, gotta stretch.
So Newton says that he's worked it out already, right?
But he says that he worked it out 18 years earlier
and he can't find his notes.
That old thing.
Yeah, I don't know.
I reckon he was like...
Don't want to be hooked.
I think it was hooks onto this.
I'm gonna say I've already done it.
Has hook already cracked it?
Like he said to Halle Ellipse.
I see you also said that.
I don't think he has none.
Right, so he's pretty close to getting it.
Well, he's on the track, Newton said, look, it's an ellipse.
And I reckon it's another one of those cases
of almost like, he sort of said it
and then went and worked it out later on.
Because he then went away.
He said, he couldn't find his notes.
Hailey said, well, can you work it out mathematically
and I'll pay for the publish to publish it.
So Newton goes away and works for seven months
and publishes a book called The Principia,
which is in full name, is Filosophie, Naturalis,
Principia, Mathematica.
Sounds like a Harry Potter spell.
And he just said the word, right?
And then the book appeared.
It was quite good.
You know, sorry, it never got laid.
No.
That's true.
You need to get a sex tent going.
But that ellipses you're talking about.
Sorry for all the dumb questions.
But you said it's like squash circle, but like a very specific shaped squash circle.
Yeah, it is a specific shape of the squash circle.
There's some kind of mathematical relationship between like the two different diameters.
So like the long diameter and the short diameter. And the, yeah, and that is, you know,
the orbit that everything follows around the sun
and the moon follows around the earth is an ellipse.
Right, that's why like a total ellipse is where.
Of the heart.
Oh, okay, that's a heart related thing as well.
Now I'm getting lost again.
So you're looking up an eclipse, right?
Which is a mint, so.
Yes.
Which is in the shape of an ellipse.
Right, and later on Newton becomes the head of the British mint.
Do you see?
Yes.
I can hear this checks out.
It's generally the smartest and dumbest episode we've ever done.
That is lizard people.
Star stuff, I reckon.
What are the lizard people called again? What are the Lizard people called again?
Triangles and stuff?
Oh, lumenardi.
Lumenardi.
This sounds lumenardi.
It's all checking out.
So he published this book and he published it in Latin because that's what everyone did
at the time, which is just insane.
Isn't that a wild thing to do?
Yeah, all this research, all this hard work, publish it in a dead language.
Why, it was extra difficulty.
My dad, which was not that long ago, he still exists.
When he was younger, he used to go to,
like when he went to church, the mass was all said in Latin.
Like this is within, not, you know, 40, 50 years ago.
Yeah, my dad had to do that in school.
And you would just be sitting there
just not understanding any of it, right?
Isn't that? Yeah, I, I, I, I'm only exactly...
I'm only exactly...
...some of it up, but it's,
it seems like such a weird way to do it.
This is the word of God.
Obviously, we don't want you to understand what we're saying, though.
It's exactly what I experienced in that church in Paris on Christmas Day.
I've been more than a bought more. Two hours.
Two hours.
Latin.
No, two hours of not understanding a word, a precess.
Did he have like a stutter or something?
No, he's speaking French.
Oh, which I did not with a stutter.
Yeah, but a bonjour.
And a lisp.
Believe they call it a lispustata. Not a lips.
Oh, is it an ellipse?
An ellipse, yeah, an ellipse.
Is that what, is that something to do with the squash circle?
Is that why people get an ellipse?
The mint, that's an eclipse.
Right, but why do people talk with an ellipse?
That's a lisp.
Oh my god, this goes deeper than I even realize.
But they speak with their lips.
Right.
Which are kind of the shape of an ellipse
and sometimes used to suck on an eclipse.
Oh, are you picking all of this up, Dave?
I can't keep up with this.
I'm not smart enough.
This is amazing.
So anyway, we wrote this book, wrote in Latin.
It was really big.
It was a really big success.
Big hit, influential book.
Didn't sell many copies, but like the people who read it were like,
this is the good shit.
This explains so much stuff about the world.
And it's pretty much the first time somebody wrote a book that actually did explain stuff about the world. And it's pretty much the first time somebody wrote a
book that actually did explain stuff about the world. It wasn't just like their theories based on
you know reading some old tomb inscription and doing a thought experiment about a turtle or something.
He actually, you know, he had maths to back up things that he said about the world.
And that's what you want.
Maths.
And solid. It's not what I want. I'd prefer friends
thanks. Because it is a choice. It's a choice. You can have one or the other. One of your
math store friends and you choose it in a bad grade too, Eric. Yeah. Math store friends. Yeah, math's our friends My math teachers listening because she hated me. I bet
I reckon she'd been listening to every single episode just waiting for you to get into math. Yeah, say something about math one day
I'll like solve an equation should be like
And then she'll finally die
little tear and then she'll finally die. Yeah, she'll shrivel up.
You know a puff of smoke.
Anyway, she was driving a bus at the time.
When over a cliff, 70 people died.
And those people were also driving buses at the top.
Each with 70 people.
Each with 70 people in them.
I can't figure out how many people it is.
Black Thursday, they call it.
Wipeed out the whole population of South Australia.
She moved to South Australia just.
I thought you'd like to know.
She wanted me to tell you.
They're here.
So when he released this book though,
Hook immediately accused Newton of plagiarism,
saying that he had discovered the theory of inverse
squares and that Newton had stolen his work, right? Even though he hadn't really, like he hadn't actually
worked anything out, he just said, I think it might be this. So it's like he'd had the idea for
the idea. Yeah, which feels like something to me. I've been, I feel like I've had lots of ideas
and then you're like, oh, somebody's turned that into a thing. I think I'm okay with that if
if if it's a book though,
maybe a little note in the forward.
I think the difference is you've had ideas,
someone else's, that's become a reality,
but it's different if you've said to that person,
hey, I've got this idea and then they make it.
That makes sense.
So, when you know that,
what they know you wouldn't want them to do that.
So it's like a conversation, you have a good riff
and you ask the other comedian, are you gonna use that? You should have said, are you gonna use that? Yeah, you wouldn't want them to do that. So it's like a conversation you have a good riff and you ask the other comedian, are you
going to use that?
You should have said, are you going to use that?
Yeah, you should have said that in use that.
That inverse square gear.
Are you going to do anything on that?
Are you going to put that in a show?
Can I use that?
Can I use that?
It's a good stuff.
I'm going to do that on stage.
When you have a conversation, both people reach through their phone.
Just going to make a little note here.
Oh, I already wrote that down, so that's mine.
It's in indelible digital.
So, well, you're right, he was forced then to include hookers and acknowledgement in the
book, but he was like, I would rather not publish it at all.
In the end, he did wind up publishing it.
But hey, it worked out, okay, because in the years that, as the years went on, Hook's
life began to unravel.
His beloved niece and companion died the same year
that the book was published.
So what a win.
This is Hook, all right.
Why won't his beloved niece and companion?
Look, I put that in because in my research,
nieces came up more than you would expect.
Like today.
Not a lot.
I don't think that the Uncle niece relationship is like one of the key
relationships, but nieces were a much bigger deal in the 1600s.
Right.
Which some might bloody uncles and bad teachers know, yeah.
Or uncles.
Or uncles.
Or uncles.
Do you really want to know uncles?
One of your beloved companion?
Companion, that's a bit off.
Yeah, but off.
Sounds like when a race horse comes out from Europe
for the Melbourne Cup and they travel with a pony,
that's what it's making me think of.
That's what it's like.
Yeah, I think what it might actually be.
They travel with a pony?
Yeah, some horses travel with a companion,
either a shitter horse or which is what a pony is, I guess, a just a shit a horse
Sometimes I guess sheep or something. What? That might not be true
But there's some other animal a donkey once maybe a mate
Yeah, just bring him a friend see they want a friend not math
Yeah, no, what I didn't go on to say is that the horse will fuck that pony
What I didn't go on to say is that the horse will fuck that pony. Well I don't want to speculate about hook and knees.
If it was the sheep, would it still?
I don't want to say definitively either way, but yes.
Sure don't, yes.
But I'm not going to say either way.
No, not definitively.
One of the two ways, yes.
Yes, definitely.
So hooks on a downward
spiral. Yeah. Um, hit. Didn't you say before, sorry, Andy, point of order? Yes.
Lot of interruptions, I mean, yeah, I'm also sorry about that, Dave. You're pointing it out,
means you've been thinking about this for a while. Can I interrupt you? Just because I'm
going to say, no, I'm good. Okay, Matt, please. You said before that he didn't release the
book until after all his critics were dead. That was the one about optics. Right. Gotcha. Yeah. So he released this is, but this is a big
masterpiece. This is his big number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Principia. It actually came out in the
end, came out and there were three books, there were three volumes that all explored different things.
But, um, yeah, as Newton's reputation and fame grew, hooks declined, causing him to become more and
more better and loathsome towards his rival. At. To the end of his life, he took every opportunity, could to offend Newton, which wasn't difficult.
No. So I've cleaned plenty of opportunities.
I'd cleaned sputin'.
Yeah, really good.
What about Putin?
Yeah, good one.
Vladimir Putin.
Yeah, full of Putin.
Take that dickhead. Yeah, dickhead Putin. Take that dickhead.
Yeah, dickhead, that's I'm gonna go fucks instead.
Well, that just is relating there, okay. This is when he was elected to that seat in Parliament.
So he took Cambridge's seat in Parliament.
But within a few years,
he had another nervous breakdown in 1693.
The cause is open to speculation.
Could be his disappointment
over not being appointed to a higher position by the
Monarchs could have been exhaustion from being overworked or perhaps chronic mercury poisoning after decades of our chemical research
Guys, you want to do a vote? What are you reckon it was?
The chronic
Poisoning from all over mercury. He was
touching with his bare hands
More busy annoyed about not getting something better from the queen was the injecting mercury into his eyeball or something
Look it's just science you've got to do it if you want to learn
Fair enough look it could have been all over the other Bobkin was made of mercury. I heard
Bobkin is a great word.
Bodkin.
I'm gonna use it.
Oh, Bobkin.
What was that?
Oh, I thought it was,
well Matt said Bobkin and I was like, yeah, that's right.
It's a bobbkin.
It's Bobkin, yeah.
Oh, Dave, of course it's Bobkin.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Let us written in this period by Newton
to several of his London acquaintances and friends, including...
Oh, I don't know why I've included his name. Anyway, I deleted him from the report. That's why.
Anyway, a guy called Dulleyer.
So, there you go. He sounds like fun.
He sounds a bit boring.
Good.
His letters seemed deranged and paranoic, and he accused them of betrayal and conspiracy.
And then he recovered quickly, wrote letters of apologies to his friends and was back
to work in a few months.
So that's not bad.
Back on the horse.
Self awareness is so important.
So important.
You've got to be able to say, no, okay, what I said to you was not cool.
Not cool.
And I'm sorry, and we're back as BFFs because you are my
Bay. Yeah you've got to be able to say that because it's very brave. It's a brave. Hey Andy
when you said he's back on his horse was that his companion horse? The pony he was fucking it.
How about the sheep? The sheep like to watch. It was an ugly sheep. You wouldn't want to. Yeah. Yeah, real dog over sheep.
Sheep dog.
So yeah, he got better again, but he still seemed to not be all that interest in science.
He now for favored pursuing prophecy and scripture and the study
of alchemy, which is basically bullshit chemistry. Trying to turn shit into gold. Tent it shit
into gold. Yeah, so he would still answer problem science problems if people wrote to them and
he was still really good at that, but he just wasn't into it. He was really, he spent a lot of
time trying to discover hidden messages in the Bible. So he thought he had this eye. He was really, he spent a lot of time trying to discover hidden messages in the
Bible. So he thought he had this eye. He read it backwards. Yeah. So he lost it a bit.
He, he, he was actually, throughout his life, was very religious. He had like pretty unorthodox,
religious views. He thought like a lot of the teachings of the church, who were bullshit,
and all the stuff had been corrupted. And that's why he was like going back to the original text of the
Bible and he was like, the truth is in here somewhere, I'm going to get it out. And he spent,
you know, and it was just back to that old stuff of the ancient Greeks, just like wasting your time
just trying to work out stuff based on nothing. So he's like invented science, which gets facts
from the real world. And then he goes back to like, oh no, but there might be some codes in here somewhere.
Right, he likes, yeah, he wants to be a Dan Brown sort of...
A Dan Brown, he was a Dan Brown, he wants to be Dan Brown.
Who hasn't been there, you know, at some point?
Uh, lost the low. Dan Brown.
In 1696, he was appointed Warden of the Mint,
presumably an Eclipse Mint.
After acquiring his new title he permanently moved to London and moved in with his niece.
Oh, another niece. What is going on there? Crack that code.
Yeah, the niece code. Yeah. This is my theory, right? I think the code might just be patriarchy.
And I think it's possible that just back in the day,
women were of like any woman in your family
was sort of kind of just expected
to just kind of look after the men
and sort of give their lives over
to supporting the men and doing whatever that.
So his niece was married,
someone with a good name, I can't remember.
But yeah, like your weird uncle who, I can't remember. But yeah,
like your weird uncle, who's like the head of the British mint, just comes and lives in your
spare room. Yeah. Seems very strange. Don't have a spare room, that's my theory. Yeah.
Yeah. One bedroom apartment all the way, baby. It's much like you shouldn't drive a
youth or a wagon or a van. Because you're helping everyone move. Your uncle's gonna come and live in it.
You know what they're like?
They're like a hermit crab.
They just see a space big enough
and they just back in like that.
You and Uncle Dave, you're not an uncle, Andy.
I'm not an uncle, no.
I'm not an uncle, you're an uncle.
I'm not an uncle, no.
Jess, you and I'm a cool sorry.
Jesus, thank you for including me and no.
I'm not on the day. That it's possible for you to be the uncle of someone who is, no,
for your uncle to be younger than you.
How crazy is that?
Of course it is.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's just insane.
Yeah.
You know, to school with a guy that had that and they were at school together.
His uncle was two years below us.
Oh my God.
It's like modern family.
That would make this make more sense
if she was younger than her somehow.
Don't I?
It was a young girl.
Yeah, I don't know.
Just can you edit that bit out?
Nope.
Because I'm not editing the podcast.
So yeah, he moved in with his niece and worked at the mint.
He was pretty keen on the job and he reformed the currency and he severely punished counterfeiters.
Counterfeiters.
People who made forgeries.
Counterfeiters.
Yeah.
Right.
What a crazy twist to them.
Yeah.
Well, it's not even the end.
In the middle.
Yeah. What a wild mid twist
Yeah, so he's really into that he like I don't know if this means anything he changed the the British pound from being the silver standard to being the gold standard
Which that's something yeah, I reckon sounds like it. I mean gold is better than silver
So like I don't know the Olympics. So like getting a triple A credit rating
Maybe or is it like is it something to do with, because
there's no currencies all based on, there used to be get based on bullions, right?
Is that something to do with that? Yeah, I think, well, I think it was to do with the value,
was dependent on the value of gold. And they had to keep a certain amount of gold
in the vault or something like that. The Bank of England to make it
mean that the paper money was worth something,
which is not the case anymore.
Now money literally means nothing.
We just accept it.
We just accept it.
We're just like idiots, you're sheep, man.
Sheep dogs.
But also because we accepted it does mean something.
Oh, you're right.
Shit, son.
You just got philosophized, bitch.
Not fair, son. You just got philosophized bitch. Nah, fair call.
In 1703, Robert Hook finally died
and Newton to his place is head of the Royal Academy.
And can I just say that I quietly Googled it.
Just so we don't get millions of tweets, yes.
Apparently, they may have burnt Robert Hook's portrait.
Really? And I know that, and I remember that now,
because there's people writing about on the internet.
There's a scene in Cosmos, the remake that they did,
with Neil deGrasse Tyson as the host.
This is a great series who you haven't seen.
I haven't seen it. I absolutely can't test it.
And yes, that's right.
It's debated whether it actually happened.
Right. Well, I would be at all surprised,
because Newton came in and he was like a total dictator in the...
Right, yes. They apparently burnt his portrait to get rid of the memory of him.
So there isn't, but there isn't a portrait...
Like, you wouldn't know whether, if you don't know if that's true or not,
you'd know if there's a portrait of him or not.
Well, it says, I was reading online quietly,
because I was obviously in the story, which is correct.
But that's why you had to read quietly.
It did say... Otherwise otherwise I read out loud.
So they had to replace his image, but I don't know what they based that on.
So they, yeah, what did they replace it with? Picture of a butt.
Yeah, you know, it's like, oh, draw me button, put it in his place.
Yeah, go hookie.
C
I may or may not. So he was the head of the Royal Society, but his ambition and his fist offence of his
own discoveries continued to lead him from one conflict to another with other scientists
and by most accounts he was a bloody nightmare.
Oh, and he spent time in 1704 trying to get scientific information out of the Bible.
Which is great.
It's like interrogating it.
Yeah.
With a hot poker.
What do you know?
Tell me.
He had to burn a lot of Bibles.
It wasn't good.
I've gone to his.
He's a phone book, so the Bible wouldn't bruise.
Phone book on Bible. He estimated that the world would end no earlier than 2060.
So there you go.
He was still right.
Yeah.
Still right up for a minute.
So fast.
And that sounds like a prediction of like he was predicting that it would end in 2060, but really he was trying to like counter all these people who were
like predicting every couple of years or the Earth is about to end, the Earth is
about to end. Well, he did the calculation based on the bottom.
He was like idiots. It's clearly not going to end before 2060.
That's based on the Bible.
Yeah. I thought it was going to it was some sort of a sun burning out thing.
No, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. He was, he was sick of people saying the world was going to end.
So he said, come on, we've at least got 400 years
on this bad boy.
I'm glad he's 60, and not like 60, 64.
No, no, no.
But I mean, why not just go 3000?
I've got some terrible news.
None of us will see how these comment again.
Oh, because of said, he just said it's not gonna end before
2016 we better get it at 2061
That's big. That's all I want to it's all I want to see and then I'll be happy to die a couple of extra days
Well, I actually just you would hate this. I saw somewhere else. I saw it record was 2016. So
You would hate that I would hate I would have hated that because the world
would be over two years ago. I would have hated that. Because Jess has been
having some crappin' years since then. Yeah, I've had a couple of good years.
Hello, I don't know. I don't know.
Starting the podcast in 2016. That's true.
That was 2015. I apologize. Oh.
Apology not accepted. But which calendar was that on the Julian calendar?
Yes it was.
See there you go.
That was, see, that was your mistake, Matt.
And I was assuming using the Gregorian calendar.
Apology.
Wrong again.
Most of his alchemical and religious work has been pretty much dismissed.
So, yeah, he was like, he was really, really good at science and then he was like an actor
who wanted to be a musician or something
Right. I'm gonna have a go at really good night. Come on. David to call for me
Just to coven he have something yeah, too well, but like recently. Oh
Doing some music and no good. You may apparently
Does he does he have a David do copper band?
Yes, where is the originals? That's fantastic. I believe it's original. I think he's got an album.
Have not heard it. It's ever-do color band.
He looks so old now. It's so sad. Really? When it happens when people get old,
they still should kind of hands him. Yeah, but when you watch the X-Fars,
he looks in your 20 or so years older, Hurricane. Yeah, but when you watch the X-Fars, he looks like a 20 or so years older hurricane.
Yeah, what happened? I mean, those 20 or so years. Weird. Weird.
I lived a hard life. Must have been, yeah. Yeah, I've lived a hard life.
I would lifestyle the age, you know, 20 years is a long time. What you're basically saying there is
the fact that he possibly hasn't had any plastic surgery done
upsets you. No, I just think that I would kind of wish they never bought it back.
Anyway, because his physical appearance upset it you. Yeah, well upset me not
upset you know. Well okay,, that's another thing we disagree on.
Well, so the script wasn't very good,
but it was mainly its face.
Yeah, I didn't want to fuck it.
But when he was young, oh, I did.
So Newton had come up with the calculus, right?
Which is like how you find the gradient of lines.
And what did he call it again?
He called it fluxions.
So did he get to rename it or someone go,
that's ridiculous? Let's call it calculus. to rename it or someone go, that's ridiculous.
Let's call it calculus.
Yeah, I think someone else must have renamed it.
Quite possibly this guy got freed Leibnitz.
Great name.
So he was a German mathematician
who independently came up with the theory of calculus
quite a bit of time after Newton,
but because Newton hadn't published anything,
he thought he'd come up with it first
and he'd actually been communicating with Newton
and Newton hadn't mentioned anything about his theory.
So, Leibniz accused Newton of copying him.
Yes.
Newton accused Leibniz of copying him
and this took up the rest of his life,
basically arguing with Leibniz.
Leibniz had been here with it first.
You didn't have evidence to discover it
like 40 years earlier or something?
Well, he had like notes and stuff,
but you'll be pleased.
The Royal Society appointed a committee
to investigate the matter.
Newton was the president of the society
and the committee found in Newton's favor.
And it was all, it was.
The system works.
At the very least it was an English committee.
Anyway, that the society I was wanting to ask,
do you think, you know, because our minds
a bit suspicious about like English history saying, or,
you know, any history saying our man was the one who figured
everything out, and that there's like some slightly less known
person somewhere else who actually came up with it. Is there
any controversy like that?
I mean, I think the things like this in the live net's
discussion would be that they're equivalent of that and the stuff with Robert Huck.
I think he, it's hard to say, but I think genuinely he was a genius, genuinely.
He, like, stuff like his laws of motion, no one had come up with that before.
So all of this is pretty revolutionary.
Yeah.
By this time he'd become one of the most famous men in Europe, his scientific discoveries were unchallenged and he'd also become very wealthy investing his sizable income wisely.
sizable income is so funny when you look at these old things like his income was like 700 pounds
a year and everyone's like, oh, doing all right.
He's doing very well.
Living with his niece, I hear.
Oh, yeah, it's just so funny hearing.
Like how do you even divide 700 pounds up small enough to be able to use it to buy stuff
throughout the entire year?
Like even if it's like what, a hundred pennies to a pen,
I don't even know.
What are things like throppance and shillings and stuff?
Wasn't it, it used to be a confusing system I think.
So I guess like instead of a loaf of bread costing a dollar,
it costs us a cent or two cents or something.
Yeah.
I suppose that makes sense.
It just sounds crazy to me.
It's like people who are used to large things,
like Japanese yen, they're like,
what do you mean, a loaf of bread?
Cost less than a thousand.
Yeah, it's like, oh, I look at it as the number.
Yeah, what? It's crazy.
Maybe if you picture a penny like a dollar,
would that help?
That's okay. Yeah.
But then what's the thing?
You can't, you can't, it's better.
So everything costs a dollar.
Isn't that better? Like, let's get rid of five cent pieces, right now
We got rid of the one cent two cent piece here ages ago
The five cent doesn't have a long to go. I think they still have like single pennies in the United States
Just one penny pieces, but they can't get rid of them because they've all got
Lincolns face on them and they love Lincoln. So sorry if this is incorrect.
And I remember him winking American and I said the Lincoln coin.
Hmm.
I think they've got one pant one P in England still as well.
The UK.
Yeah.
Weird.
Anyway, he was very rich.
He never married or made many friends and his latest years,
a combination
of pride, insecurity and weird scientific investigations led some of his friends to
worry about his mental stability. Throughout his career, he was torn between his desire
for fame and his fear of criticism.
That's a tough one.
It sounds like a comedian to me, just like you're standard.
Any one of us, I guess.
No, I love criticism.
Yeah.
But you could take it then.
No, don't, sorry, Jess.
Was that directed to me?
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Okay, so you want to know what Newton looked like.
Newton was short and at the end of his life he was very stout, but he was
I don't know, I said T part is what he just shortened the staff
He if you tip him over you could pour him out
That's what Dave did you at the start of the episode when he gets all steamed up you could hear him shout and
Need I repeat if you tip him over you could pour him out?
What a what a very detailed description.
Yeah, instead of arms, actually, on his left side, he had a handle.
And on the other side, a stout.
Was he holding a beat?
He was holding a beat.
Wow, fair enough.
You instantly made me thirsty for stout Jess
very powerful
I'm an influential person you're an online influencer. I'm an influencer get at me brands Everyone grab a stout. I'm up for sale
He had a square lower jaw brown eyes brought forehead and rather sharp features. He's here to engrave before he was 30 and remains thick
And about you said 33.
He said luscious.
This is, he remained thick and white as silver till his death.
So not very white, then.
So not very soon.
Silver.
But also it didn't go back to like brown.
No, apparently not.
As it got all the way in.
As it got all the way in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've actually already gone completely gray and then back again.
Wow.
Yeah. What a process. That's my early. Yeah, yeah
Started again like 25 fully gray and then here we are 27 Brunette again. I told you you had changed your hair color off
I said that I was wrong in the last two years. Yes
That's what I was referring to so a good word to word to describe him, which was slovenly.
Oh.
Just like that word.
Slovenly.
You really feel like you're working your mouth, saying it.
Slovenly.
Slovenly.
Can you answer this question, Andy?
Yeah.
Would you say he lived a happy life?
Oh.
You know what?
I'm going to say no.
Right.
Because he was just angry so much the time.
Yeah, I think so. Like I think he was pretty
pleased with himself
But like everything else made him angry. Right. You didn't really go into any hobbies or anything either apart from having a niece
And riding horse horse. Was that that was his niece?
Yeah, I can confirm.
No, yeah, I mean, I guess like reading the Bible and stuff is like a hobby.
Yeah. I mean, I'm like, I always think if you believe in
lava after life after love,
lava, I believe in lava.
So that this is relevant to me, what I'm about to say.
Now, if you believe in the Barbara, if you believe in God and everything, then I'd be
into the Bible all the time.
You're on the earth for a short amount of time and that's forever.
You've got the word of God.
Yeah, surely you just be reading that cover to cover over and over again.
If you believe that was a, it was all a real, true thing.
And I think he probably was.
But then at the same time, I think what Christians would tell me, which I've been one of those,
I think maybe I still technically am.
I don't know where the rules are.
Your membership hasn't landed.
Yeah, how you get out of it?
To be a Catholic, you've got to go in and actually, I think you've got to get their permission
to leave.
So it's like logging out of Facebook, trying to close your account.
Yeah, yeah.
I sort of closed my account like six months ago, but people have been like, recently
told me like, oh no, we can still post on your page and stuff.
Right, that's annoying.
I don't know.
Is that how Facebook works?
Is that how you could start a down?
Yeah, people are still pacing on your Catholicism.
But I think, you know, people would say probably other Christians, of which we
have some listeners, I imagine, that, you know, that's not what God would want you to
live your life reading the book. I know. I feel like God is pretty keen on that kind
of stuff. Right. It's interesting. Surely, isn't it something about living a good life
and being good to people as well? That can't be just reading a book. Yeah, well, you can't read a book 24 hours a day.
Well, the one hour you're not reading the book.
You're blocking others.
After wanking.
A Bible makes you real horny.
Is that true?
Hey, it's a gift.
It's a fucking gave him the horn, so I don't see.
Oh.
He was, so it was a bit of of grub and he wasn't much fun around
because he was very often lost in his own thoughts. He's got boring to talk to. There are a lot of
anecdotes about being absent-minded, here's one. Thus once, when riding home from Grantham,
he dismounted to lead his horse up a steep hill. When he turned at the top to remount,
he found that he had had the bridle in his hand, while his horse had slipped it and gone away. That's wild. So we didn't notice the slot.
Like there's a bit of a weight difference between a horse and not a horse or a niece and not a
niece in this case. The person who's basically discovering gravity. He's not very not very aware of the way
to fix what is going on. Did he think like that Bridal would have dropped to the ground?
It would have, is this horse I'm just dragging it along? How weird. The horse has died and I'm
suddenly very strong anyway to continue with my thoughts. He didn't exercise, he indulged in, oh, he
indulged in no amusements. So I didn't have any hobbies. I worked in
cessantly, often spending 18 or 19 hours, hours out of 24 in writing.
This was a good description of him I heard or read. In character, he was
religious and conscientious with an exceptionally
high standard of morality having as Bishop Burnett said, the whitest soul he ever knew.
Oh yeah. And that's a good thing. Yeah. He was white. He was real white. White pride.
That doesn't say that but but it sounds like he didn have it sure I think white's another way
for clean clean so clean so right I just do put that into context yeah he was
or it was very straightforward and honest but also not generous and but he was
also not very generous not generous. Oh So I was thinking man I'd kill to be as clever as this guy, but he doesn't sound like a person I'd want to be
Well, he was but he was also modest, so it's really weird
So he famously said if I have seen further than other men
It is only because I have stood on the shoulders of giants. Oh, is that his quote?
That's his quote. That's a great quote. It's good quote, and it sounds cool as well
Like you can picture him standing on a giant.
Oh, that's good.
Oh, I can see heaps further than I could from down there as a normal sized person.
Up here though, fuck I can see heaps.
Now, when he's standing on the giant, how do you picture him like with one shoulder?
On the shoulder.
Now, he's so small, you can't be a person to the giant that he's just.
He's a nice shoulder. And like he he's just... He's the one shoulder.
And he's about this big on the giant's shoulder,
which is like...
About the size of an apple.
Yeah. Oh, that's my god, Andy!
We solved it!
And he was a mystery episode!
Why are we putting this voice on?
I was picturing with one foot on each shoulder,
so it's really awkward.
He's got his legs spread around the giant's head.
So you're thinking Andre the giant.
You ditch right on there.
His dick is pressing against the top of the giant snakehead as well.
The giant snakehead.
Okay.
Okay.
You guys are not picturing them?
No, no.
You've already explained how we pictured it.
Because he doesn't specify in the quote that he was wearing clothes, he doesn't say.
And if you don't, then you're not.
Yeah.
That's the rule.
Yeah.
Presumed.
Yeah, that's Newton's law.
Presumed naked until proven otherwise.
So there you go.
Um, all right, shall I finish up?
Here we go.
He summed up his own work thusfully.
I do not, I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself, I seem to have been only
like a boy, playing on the seashore and diverting myself, in now and then finding a smoother
pebble or a prettiest shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered
before me.
It's quite poetic.
Beautiful.
Yeah, it's nice.
And do you believe he wrote that?
Yeah. Yeah, right. So he's actually
also quite a word Smith. Well, he spent 19 hours a day writing. Yeah, but he was writing numbers,
I imagine, and squiggly lines. Just numbers, just squiggly. I've seen his handwriting, it's terrible.
And his diagrams, his scientific diagrams are also really bad. There's no sense of scale,
like when he draws his, he drew a drawing of him
like with his hand pressing the bodkin behind his eyeball. The eyeball is really big and the bodkin's there and then his hand is really tiny.
He just had big eyes. Some of us have big eyes, okay? Big eyes on small hands.
Yeah. Does that remind you of anyone, Dave? Yes.
His theory of gravity held until Einstein's relativity came in, which was like 250 years,
so that's not bad.
He died in 1727.
His tomb in Westminster Abbey was inscribed with the words, mortals rejoice at so great
an ornament to the human race.
So...
Whoa.
Depend that as well.
I don't know if he wrote that one.
I don't know.
I doubt it.
I think he was too modest, but I think that is a fucking big, good thing to have.
I'm going to have that on my tombstone.
Really?
Yeah.
I might even just get it on a t-shirt.
Portals with joy.
Portals with joy.
Mortals rejoice.
It's so great an ornament to the human race.
There's no cheaper tombstone than a T-shirt.
Your family really shapes that after you die.
We'll just get a Matyshirt.
Yeah, T-shirt, you can just pop that over somebody else's tombstone.
Just cover it up.
Rest in peace, Greg.
No, no, no, no.
He's down there.
Yeah, so that's the report.
That was a great episode.
This may even reach our longer episode ever, almost I think.
Sorry, I thought you might be having a shit time.
Not really.
Really long.
Oh my God.
So we will.
One thing you would never experience this before, but we do it every week after we stopped recording whoever did the report goes
Sorry guys was that okay?
It always feels like it shit when you're doing a report for summary. Yeah
I had no idea that had gone so long and I was supposed to be out of this room 50 minutes ago. So oh
Shit
Excellent. Carly's waiting outside. Anyway
Sorry, everyone. Sorry, Carly, if you're listening,
I'll be out in a moment.
Well, maybe should do you want to step out
and we can do the thingos without you?
Sure, can I just quickly plug my show?
Yes, of course.
Oh, please tell us about your show.
I'm doing a show with Alistair.
I've already said this.
Yeah, but we can really talk about it.
Okay, that was two hours ago. Am I doing a show with Alistair. I've already said this. Yeah, but I can really tell you. Okay, that was two hours ago.
Am I doing a show with Alistair,
Tromblo Virtual at the Comedy Festival,
Andy Matthews and Alistair,
Tromblo Virtual Sci-Fi sketch comedy experience.
I did this as a science topic
because I thought it would be relevant
people who liked it might like the show,
but also the show is just messed up and weird
and there's nothing like this.
New is exclusively Newton and Nice.
Nice humor?
Yeah, it's all nice for ladies.
Good, good.
And that will have the link to the tickets in the description.
Oh, thank you so much.
I love the show, guys.
Thank you so much for letting me be on it.
Thank you, Annie, before you leave,
May I, you've given us so much information,
I'll give you a fact.
I would love one.
And that is that John Lithgow did star in Footloose
as a reference show more.
Goodbye, Andy.
Thank you.
It was a mystery episode.
It was all all over the cracker.
We solved it.
And we're just finally due like this guy.
Yeah, I think he's incredible.
I think he's so good.
He's like one of my heroes.
And he's a bad man.
That's classic Andy. Yeah, classic Andy. my heroes and he's a bad man. That's classic Andy.
Yeah, classic Andy.
Andy Hero.
You're a bad bad boy.
Catch a lighter Andy.
All right, that was Andy Matthews' report and it was very long but very, very interesting.
And we highly recommend you go and check out Andy and Ellis' live show if you can.
And if you're overseas, check out two and a thing, two in the think tank.
Also on the Planet Broadcasting Network,
hilarious the concept is,
we've probably should've talked about this with Andy,
is each week they're trying their TV comedy writers
and they try and come up with five sketch ideas live on air
and they are ridiculous and hilarious.
So check it out.
It's a really great pod.
All right, now thank you so much for listening.
There's only one thing left to do now.
Andy has left the building.
And that is thank our Patreon supporters,
everyone that supports the show at patreon.com slash do go on pod.
Really keeps the show rocking and rolling.
It's the amount has been pretty great lately.
We've got a lot of new pledges, so thanks to everyone for doing that.
We are now halfway over, over halfway, over our target, which ultimate target is to two of the United States.
Yeah, that's right. And we're getting really close as well to the target of doing a second bonus
episode every month. Every single month. So fun. I reckon in a month or two will be there, which means
if you pledge every month, you get two bonus episodes. Crazy. It's crazy.
It's crazy for us.
Yeah, but that's fun.
That'd be good.
Alright, Jess, you want to...
Also, I should say we thank people
that support us on the show and Jess,
would you like to thank some of the Patreon people?
I would absolutely love to.
And the first person I would like to thank is from Elmhurst, Illinois.
I would like to thank Pat Killick.
Pat Killick. Pat Killick. Pat Killick.
Now what should we, what should we have to we thank these Petron, Petron people?
Now if you were to start a rumor that they were hit on the head by a fruit.
Perfect.
What fruit would you say?
Pat Killick, clearly a rock melon.
Yes.
Oh you think that's a nasty one.
I was thinking melon as well, patty melon. Oh I'm just saying okay, you're right. I don't know what that means. Well I was going to say what's a patty melon. Yes. Oh, you think that's a nasty one. I was thinking melon as well. Paddy melon. Oh, it's just okay. I don't know what that means. Well, I was gonna say what's a
patty melon. I think it might be a marsupial. Okay. I think it is. So not even a fruit at all.
It's quite a really different. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Pat. And from Kenmore in Washington,
I would like to thank Amber DeGroi. Amber DeGuay, that is a sick now.
That is a great now.
Love that, as my all-up pad killick was good too.
It's a very strong start.
If I was going to say a fruit was going to drop.
Just because the amber, that's the color of beer often.
So maybe like one of those hop flower heads,
it's going to fall on it.
Okay, is that a fruit?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, it's an edible thing that grows on a tree.
Okay.
I don't know what a fruit is.
Dave, we'll go with that.
Could we get a technical definition of fruit?
Can we get a root?
Can we get a ruling, please?
I believe it is any sort of seed they often say.
Oh, yeah, you got it.
I think you've got me, Jess.
You've got me.
No, that's fine, that's fine.
It's fine, I'm not mad.
I've got a definition here.
The sweet and fleshy product of a tree or other plant
that contains seed and can be eaten as food.
Yeah, I don't think it counts.
I had a really nice passion fruit goza, right?
Oh, I love passion fruit. I don't think it counts. I had a really nice passion fruit goza, right? That's a safe passion fruit.
Yeah.
Most passionate.
Passion it, passionate.
Well, fruit.
Passion it.
Thank you very much, Amber.
I'd love to think of a can, you guys.
From BC, British Columbia, Mr. Chris, Walters,
Mr. Chris Waters.
Oh.
Obvious one is watermelon. But. Chris Waters. Oh. Obvious one is watermelon.
But... Oh yeah.
That is basically sendencing him to death.
Oh, a slice of watermelon.
Okay, as they grow in some parts of British Columbia,
just fine.
It slices.
Like a ring of it, so it's big enough
and it hits him in the fleshy part
and he ends up wearing it like a necklace.
Yeah, but then he gets to go there and lick his face and it's watermelon-y.
I also actually had a really nice watermelon beer as well as in Adelaide.
Oh, she's had a lot of fun, how are you?
Yes.
And live in the high life.
And I also live in the Vida loca.
Yes, no doubt about that.
She bangs two bangs.
Sure thing.
If any of the others there, the cup of life?
No.
I felt like might have almost been as relevant if not more,
but drinking from the old.
Yeah.
Yep.
Could I also think from Clifton Hill, not too far from my record here,
Mr. Kieran Robertson.
Here to you, Mr. Robertson.
Oh, I've got a fruit we're hitting, Kirin, with banana.
Banana.
Oh, yeah.
He's copying a banana.
Oh, he's copying a banana.
Banana boy.
Banana boy.
Banana boy.
Banana boy.
All right, I think he's so much to Kirin.
Thank you.
Kirin.
I would like to thank Keeping It Close as well.
From Bell Park in Victoria.
Peter Shallas.
Pumpkin. Peter shallas. Peter Pumpkin.
Peter Shallas Pumpkin Eater.
And so Pumpkin probably is a fruit, is it? It's got seeds, it grows.
Yeah, I believe it is. That's one of those trick ones. As a kid, I would have sworn
a Pumpkin was a vegetable. So avocados also one?
Wow. And tomatoes. So avocado's also one? Wow.
And tomatoes, that was the other one that I,
I basically think of sweet and savory as a kid,
but it turns out to be BS.
I love avocado.
Yeah, avocado.
Like every white woman in their mid to late 20s.
Well, call me a white woman in his mid to late 20s
because I also love avocado.
I love it more.
Well, there's three white women in their mid to late 30s.
Oh, 20s in this room.
I had some beautiful avocado on dark ride this morning
in Mount Gambu.
Okay, we get it, you've traveled.
You're fucking hell.
You keep name dropping all these big locations.
All right, we've been here in Melbourne
while you've fucked off.
Sorry, just.
And I've not had any nice avocado.
Don't say that about Melbourne. Alright, fine, I'd like to thank VanCoova.
Great name here. Simon Bermuda.
Ah, that's cool. Simon Bermuda.
So I'm going to try and go through. Yes, I'm sort of trying to go through.
Again, a slice of something. No, I'm trying gulf fruit.
I'm trying gulf fruit.
No, I can't.
It's very bit bread-a-fruit.
Very bit.
I'm always intrigued by star fruit.
Yes, it's yum.
I just, it's a mainly cut down the middle and it's a bloody star.
I reckon it's hit by star fruit.
Star fruit.
It's Simon Bermuda from Vancouver.
Enjoy star fruit on us because it's just hit you in the head.
Star fruit to the Noggin.
If you got hit in the head by staff for it, you should go straight to Hollywood because
you are about to go big, maybe.
Big time.
Big time.
Big time.
Big time.
Thank you to all our fruity legends there for supporting the show.
And if you want your name read out or you want the bonus episodes and all the other stuff
that goes along with it, go to patreon.com slash diga one pod now
I was saving Pomme granite now a front out of names
Do you want to say I got hit by a Pomme granite? Yeah, they're the ones with the little beads and a yeah
They yum what a ridiculous and amazing
So good in a salad. Hmm actually I want to smash that out. Delicious.
Oh, so I accidentally said something
that must have sounded like, okay, Google there.
Oh, and I did again,
that time much more accurate to, okay, Google.
Oh, and that time again, okay.
Sorry, everyone at home.
All right, as this is one of our longest episodes ever,
we must wrap it up and say, thanks for listening.
If you want to suggest a topic into the hat, you can find the link in the description in this episode. It takes you to a
little form, you tell us why it's cool, and then we report on it. That's that works.
That's that works. And you can get in contact any time at dogoonpod on any of the social
medias or dogoonpod at gmail.com. Yes. But we were hope to see you if you're
on Melbourne sometime at the end of this month or in April. But apart from that, we'll see you next week or you're there next week.
And until then, I'll say thank you and goodbye!
Bye!
Bye!
This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network.
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