Do Go On - 127 - Escape From Colditz Castle

Episode Date: March 28, 2018

It was supposed to be a prison for the baddest of the bad, an inescapable complex for POWS that had escaped every other jail... But the inmates didn't get the memo. Dave reports on the many escape attempts from Colditz Castle, a formidabble Second World War POW camp in Germany. Tunnels, Gliders, Disguises, False Walls, Fake Keys and more... These are some of the most daring and intriciate escapes ever attempted.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod- Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: http://bit.ly/DoGoOnHat Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail]  REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Great Doco from Timeline, Part One:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5HNWQWKEEghttps://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/1556304/General-Alain-Le-Ray.htmlhttps://www.uncommon-travel-germany.com/colditz.htmlhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=40&v=uQLXSdLU5Zshttps://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/societybookreviews/3574423/From-Colditz-to-the-Commons.htmlhttp://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/naziprison/cold_15.htmlhttp://www.hambo.org/hazelwood/view_man.php?id=236https://theescapeline.blogspot.com.au/2015/04/colditz-peter-allan-escape.htmlhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_attempts_to_escape_Oflag_IV-C Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and always. And always, as always, always, always I am here. Always and forever, Dave. I never leave this room. But when I am in this room, sometimes I'm joined by Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello. Hi, I'm Matt Stewart.

Oh, hi, I'm Jess Perkins. You can call me Jess. Yeah, I will, Jess. I wonder how many times we've done a joke like that. Never. What joke? In the world. I'm Matt.

I wonder what he thinks the joke is. Great question, Jess. Is it because me, Jess, would normally say you can call me Bob. Yeah. Very good joke. Anyway, let's get on with the show, Matt and Dave. It was close. It was real close.

Well, I don't know who I am anymore, but it's great to be here with two people. Two of whom I have equal respect for. Thank you very much. Anyway, on this show we do here, the three of us, you, Dave, me, Matt or Jess, or whatever we are now, and Jess or Matt over there. Each week, we rotate between us to do a report on a topic that the other two do not know what it is. It's been suggested by a listener or voted on by a listener. This week it's Dave's turn. He's going to tell Jess and I, he's going to school us in a topic.

Oh, I'm excited. He starts it off with a question to get us on topic. Dave, please ask your question. All right, to get us on topic. Now, lately I've been enjoying how we've done so many episodes now that a lot of the topics have started crossing over or making reference to other. You're like, oh, that was during the similar time. Well, this is a direct spin-off of a Jess report.

Of a Jess report, the second best kind of report. Fuck you, Matt, fuck you. Is it going to be Prince Charles? She did Queen Elizabeth. I mean, I've done... I did Queen Elizabeth the second. That was me. What?

I noticed you wrote that in the Patreon. That was me. I don't know what that means. What? What is wrong? Because you both love the Queen. Oh, who doesn't? I'll merge you guys together.

Did you see that video of her recently losing a shit because cows are there? Yeah, that's good. Oh, cows! So fucking cute. I haven't seen that. Oh, I'll show you later. stopping the recording to find this video. And we're back, it was very funny.

Okay, my question. What's your question, Dave? I interrupted you saying my question to ask you what your question was. I'm the worst person in the world. All right. Which German POW camp was our mate Charles Uppam sent to? Oh, shit. So Jess will know for sure.

Yeah, but I remember I talked super briefly about it. other people commented and were like, you should do a whole report on that. And now I can't remember the name at all. At the time I said, oh, that's really interesting. I should do a report on that. And we got a lot of people saying, do that report. So I've been thinking about doing it for a long time. It's a castle.

Yeah. Oh, right. I know exactly what you're talking about. I can't think of the name. Give me the first letter. I'm not going to remember anyway. Also it starts with C. Bit of alliteration.

Charles Castle. Close enough. Colditz Castle. Yeah, I got it. Woo! Perkins. That's all about the. architecture this episode. Yes, and I go through every single archway. Just the archways of

Coltis Castle, a nine-hour report. Strap in, everyone. So Charles Lopham was sent to Colditz Castle in 1944, and so at the time I said, we should do a report on that. And a few people requested it as a topic including Ryan Messer, Maddie Ray, Jack LeSue, Victor Jimino, Curtis Benick, and Ellen Theobald. So thank you for all those people. Awesome. It's Quite a few. Quite a few. So apart from Charles and being sent there in 1944, you don't know much about the castle?

Matt, have you heard of Colditz Castle? I vaguely remember it from that report. Yeah, I would have, like, if I was looking at a Wikipedia article, I would have clicked on that hyperlink and read sort of the intro about it and gone, oh yeah, and then going back to what I was reading before. Is this a, would you call this a prequel or a sequel?

Oh. A prequel that then runs alongside and then overtakes. Amazing. And then, well, actually, you did finish the whole of Charles Album's life. So then it overtakes it briefly. I only to end with a flashback. It's bloody neck and neck. Oh, wow.

Credits at the start. It's complicated. I'm really excited. Let's get cracking. I'm really confused. So Colditz Castle is conveniently found in the town of Colditz, which is near Lips. SIG, which is Germany's 10th most popular city.

That's the closest big city. Most popular. That's right. They voted. By other cities. It's voted by German magazine. Oh. Wow.

That's the big one. That's the one you want. Oh, yeah. Built high up on a hill overlooking a village called its village and the river below. It's built high on a hill. With a lonely goat, is that what you're thinking? Yeah. It couldn't help but think that.

I reckon people around the world just thought that. I didn't know what that. What's that reference? Santa music. Another Nazi thing. Right. and unbelievably I have never seen it. Huh.

There you go. I built higher up on a hill overlooking a village and some sort of goat reference. A castle of some description has been on the site for nearly 1,000 years. And since that time it's been added to a completely rebuild a number of times and a number of architectural styles. So there's the architecture map. It's been used for a number of uses over the thousand years, including as just a castle. Also as a workhouse to feed the poor.

A place to look after the ill. A place where people who had been arrested were temporarily stored. A mental institution and a place for people suffering from tuberculosis. What a versatile house. It's had a lot of uses. I like that the first one was as a castle. It's like it's just a house then, isn't it? It's pretty unimaginative.

What can we use this castle for? I think we could use it for one to castle. We'll add that to the suggestion list. First, we'll look at it. after people with tuberculosis. We might come back to castle later. When the Nazis gained power during 1933, they converted the castle into a political prison

for people they're considered undesirable, mainly communists, homosexuals, Jews, and other marginalized groups. There you go. Then World War II broke out. Germany started taking many prisoners of war, some of whom tried to escape. A few of these were so good at escaping

that no matter where they put them, they seemed to be able to get out. So a special high security prison was needed for these prisoners and cold its castle was chosen. And it was renamed Offlarg 4C. Jesus, such cold names. No, Coldest Castle sounds so cool. Offlag. Offlark for C.

Yeah, a number and a letter, that's just like, that's making it like real cold and scientific or something. Somehow they made the name Cold, it's more cold. Yeah. As I said before, built on a rocky outcrop. So if you look at it, it's sort of like surrounded by cliffs and you look, you're like, it's going to be pretty hard to get in there. Oh. You imagine like an Edinburgh Castle type thing.

Yeah. Not as dramatic as that, but that kind of thing. The security was deemed to be state of the art. The prison was surrounded by barbed wire and would be completely lit up at night by search lights. Calditz has walls that are an average of six feet thick. And in some places, the walls are three metres thick. What? That seems unnecessary

That seems ridiculous Great insulation though You'd stay real cool in summer Oh totally In the recording studio You can't hear a theme Oh that'd be great How would it be though

In winter would it be cold Yes Hard to heat too But it would retain the heat So if you had a heat source inside It would be It would hold it in Spoken like a true

Former Air Conditioner salesman There was one guard for every prisoner keeping an eye out. What? Which is crazy. One for one. One for one. That does, like, it really does sound like if you weren't, if you just heard you had everyone

there had their own servant basically and you were staying in a castle, you'd be like, this sounds great. The ratio is less extreme when you take kindergartners on an excursion. Oh, way less extreme. It's like one adult for five kids. That's crazy. But then wouldn't you form a bond with them? You'd have a bit of start.

Stockholm syndrome, I reckon. Well, in some cases, they really respected each other, German and the prisoners. Cool. Prisoners were kept in a special section of the castle, and a walled 30 metre high medieval courtyard, so 30 metres high. So a lot of the time they felt like they were always in shadow

because the walls were so high. And then in a German winter, you don't get much sun at all. And if they made it out of there, there was a sheer 40 metre drop to contend with, as well as a machine gun nest that could, Shoot them to pieces. A nest of with a mama machine gun. Recurgeting.

Wait, is there a phone call? Hello? Machine gun nest. I'm a little bit busy. Just trying to feed my child. Go for machine gun. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Yes, I'll hold. I'll just put you through now. I don't think of a... I can't do a better machine. That's a part. Is the nest, are they a little gassy? Can you do a good? I reckon when I was a kid I could have done a sweet machine gun noise.

I deserved the self-thumbs-up you gave. Is there some sort of baby goat inside the nest? It sounds like when Mo's doing the barnyard animal noise and no one can guess what it is. A baby dog. He's right. About the duck? About everything, damn it. Real good bit.

So basically, the odds are against you of getting out. Inside the prison were captured soldiers from England, France, Serbia, Poland, Australia, New Zealand and Belgium. So you put your baddest of the bad from across Europe. The best escape is in one place where you can keep an eye on them, right? Sounds like a good idea. But then it sort of backfires a bit because the problem was that when you get people that are experts, that escaping and put them all in one place, you accidentally create a center of excellence.

You've basically done the motley crew, like that movie trope. We got a safe crack. We got an explosive expert. You just put together oceans 11. That's ocean's 11, yeah. And you've just said, I bet you can't escape from this. And they're all like, well, we've got years at a time to work shit out. Let's have a go.

Yeah, we can brainstorm here. In fact, a friendly rivalry developed among the different nationalities. The officers competed for the highest number of what they called home runs or successful escapes. Basically, if you got someone from your country, they got back home or to a safe country, the prisoners of your nationality got a home run. Oh, my God, that's amazing. So it's like now it's a game. Yeah.

So it does sound like it wasn't the worst place to be. I mean, they got games. You're still a prisoner. I would have thought a Nazi concentration camp. No, so there's a big difference between a concentration camp and a prisoner of war camp. Especially this one, they seem to be treated. I'll talk about the Geneva Convention was respected in this camp. Which is very strange when I think about it because they're executing people left right and centre.

They are sort of in this camp anyway, maintaining respect for the prisoners. Captain Reinhold Eggers, who's the German security officer of the camp. He's sort of like the bad guy in this story who's actually not so bad. He later wrote a book about his time at Colditz and he remarked how the castle had originally been built for keeping people out. He wrote,

The castle was built to be impossible to get into. My job is to make it impossible to get out of. Because you think about that's a castle. Bad boys, bad boys. What you're going to do? Yeah, an explosion goes off and he just keeps walking slowly. That puts his sonny. So fucking cool.

So, because when you do think about a castle, it is, I'd never thought about it this, but it is mainly to keep people out. Not to keep people in. A castle, yes. A prison, no. Yeah. So I'm going to go through some of the escape attempts from cold. Some are very successful, others end, in tragedy. Another explosion behind me.

Awesome. How about I give them chapter titles? Yes, David. Yes. The key. Oh, my God. Chapter 1. Oh my God, I love this.

Yes. At first, the different nationalities kept to themselves, and the Brits formed an escape committee. Amazing. Which is so British, especially of the 1940s. So British. All right, then, chaps. All right, all right. I say.

Pat Reed was chosen to be the leader of the committee. He was 31 years old and before the war had trained as a civil engineer, and he was determined to escape. Pat was constantly on the lookout for ways to escape and one day early on in captivity he noticed that in the prisoner run canteen there was a cover on the floor that he speculated could lead to a shaft he was like there's a hole there

why have they covered that up, eh? So one day Pat got his friends to distract one of the guards who had the key to the canteen around his belt loop while he quietly stole it and he pushed it into a bar of soap. Very good. You'll be the outline of it. perfect outline of the key that could be copied.

To make a copy of the key, the British soldiers used an iron bed leg and filed it down until it was exactly the shape of the key. No. Which takes a fucking long time. It takes ages, but it fit the lock perfectly. One night, Reid snuck out of his room and into the canteen, he was able to find that the manhole led to a sewer

which went underneath the thick courtyard walls and then underneath a lawn above of which is soft ground that you could dig through. The only problem was that the lawn was patrolled by a German soldier. To get around this, they bribe the soldier with 500 marks to leave his post that night. How did they have money? They got a bit of money. And throughout this, they're being sent packages from back home.

Okay, you can be sent packages. You can be sent packages. And you get stuff from the Red Cross as well. You know what I would have expected a Nazi to do in that case? It would be just to take the money and kill them. And not do, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'll take that bribe. Matt, hashtag not all Nazis.

Come on, Matt. They're not all Nazis. Not all Nazis are Nazis. Is that true? Factually, no. Reed selected 12 officers to go with him, and they snuck into the canteen one night, and all crawled through the sewer.

They got underneath the lawn, and as Reid dug a hole and poked his head through the grass, he looked up only to find a bunch of German soldiers looking down at him. As Matt speculated, the soldier that they tried to bribe had double. across them. You can't trust the Nazi. Your gut instinct is absolutely right. Good for you, Matt. Good for you, Matt's gut. Yes. Reed yelled at his comrades who were still in the sewer to run back, but once they got out the other side, they found other soldiers waiting for them at the entrance.

The Englishmen didn't know what to do, so they just started laughing in the Germans faces. The German soldiers were very confused by this. The guard, they tried to bribe, kept his five-hundred remarks. He got extra paid leave, a promotion, and the war service. cross. So it worked out really good. Whoa. It worked real good. Holy shit.

The Geneva Convention said POWs that tried to escape shouldn't be shot. And Eggers and the Germans abided by this rule. So none of the soldiers was shot. But the usual punishment for attempting to escape was three weeks in solitary confinement. For all of them? Yeah. Shit. That's heaps of weeks, eh?

Oh, so many weeks, eh? But do they have enough solitary confinement? Yeah. All three of you have to go to the solitaire. solitary confinement room. But don't look at each other. Well, that's it. Yeah.

Like, do they have enough space to keep them separated? And if they don't, they just make someone stand in the corner and look at the wall. Or you're just on a roster. Like, okay, your punishment will be in six weeks' time because I've got two other people in that room before you. You're in a waiting list. The punishment will be in 36 weeks time. Until then, think about what you've done.

Until then, business is usual. But, you're going to get in trouble later. Chapter 2. The First Taste of Freedom. Oh, I love it. Oh, this sounds positive. I should, no, see, last time I forgot to get a clue from the chapter title, which was the key, which makes sense. Now, Matt, what can we read out of the first taste of freedom?

I reckon they're going to eat French fries. Yeah. Freedom fries. I reckon they're not going to use a key in this one. Ooh. And you know. Much to the Brits annoyance, the first home run. didn't go to them.

In fact, the first prisoners to successfully escape Colditz was French soldier Elaine Leret. French fries. You were right. You were right. God, your gut is on fire today. It's burning. He's burning up. His escape wasn't as well thought out and planned

and more spur of the moment. Another part of the Geneva Convention was that the soldiers needed fresh air and exercise. That's fair. They had a courtyard, but there's so many of them, they're not really getting much exercise. So every 10 days, they were marched out of the castle at gunpoint, and down to a local park to play football.

What? The park was surrounded by barbed wire, so the best place to attempt and escape was during the walk to or from the football field. Elaine, the Frenchman, had already escaped from a previous POW camp, and it was always on the lookout for a quick getaway. Before the game, Leray was able to find some civilian clothing, and he put this on underneath his uniform, and although there was a guard only 10 metres behind him,

on the walk back up the hill, they passed a sharp bend where he was momentary, barely out of sight. No. And there was an abandoned building that they walk past every day every time they go to this. And fortunately, he tried the door and it was unlocked.

So he dashed around the corner and hid inside the building. The Germans at the Guard House of Caldits failed to notice that a man had gone missing. And after more than an hour, La Rey, now wearing a civilian clothes, was able to emerge from his hiding place. What?

All he had to do was to scale a small wall and then he'd be free. The simplicity of his escape was astonishing and subsequently a number of POWs tried to emulate it, but without success. How did they figure it out? Well, they didn't because the Germans

who discovered the Ray's absence only later that evening when they did a roll call never worked out how we'd done it, concluding amongst themselves that he must have escaped by going over the roof of the courtyard and climbing down a lightning conductor.

Yeah, you'd assume it would have been a time where he was by himself. Yeah. But it's interesting that no one noticed he was missing till later when they're one-on-one with the guards. So there's some guard who's going, yeah, I thought my person normally was

like, you know, it was physically manifested in a human form. Yeah. But, no, maybe it was just always see-through. People are like, where's your guy? I assume he's in the can. It's kind of like whenever we, because when I was playing basketball as a kid, anytime you did like man-on-man defense, if your person that you were supposed to be defending, like, got a goal or something, you'd be like, fuck, because that was literally

your only job. Imagine being that guard, you'd be like, oh, fuck, fuck. Fuck. My guy's gone. Are they constantly yelling, man up, man up. Keep on the man. Keep on the man. We were playing a Zone D at the time.

Yeah. We weren't playing. The game was, oh no. Fuck. So Luray was able to sneak onto a train and he hid in the guards fan. Lorraine on the train falls mainly. On the plane of a horse. His patience started.

to Wayne and he went insane. When he got to Nuremberg, he mugged a man in the street, stealing his wallet and overcoat. Great. You got to play a little dirty. He was so close to freedom and decided to walk the last few miles to the frontier.

But in a forest, he encountered a border patrol, alluding it only when he climbed a tree. Oh. So then he got on another train and not wanting to give himself away by buying a ticket, he climbed onto the front of the train and just lay down across the front of the train. It was night time, and he calculated that the glare of the train's headlights

would ensure that no one could see him. He crossed into neutral Switzerland, and he achieved the first home run. Oh, wow. Well done. That's awesome. So he had the money for a ticket, just didn't want to. Oh, because he stole the wallet. But they'd probably ask for identification.

And I don't think, some of these people that escape, it's very handy if you speak German, but not everyone. Yeah. Man, it tends to those moments in the Great Escape where the escape are chatting to, like they're having their pastoral checked or whatever. And you just have to keep your mouth shut up. Well, they're talking in German or whatever,

and just watching it, I'm sweating bullets going, holy shit. These Nazis are on to them, I swear to God. And then they just stamp. Yeah. Chapter 3. The mattress. Oh, there's going to be some boning.

Yeah, squeaky mattress There's only one way out of this place Boning my way out Quick everyone Fuck your guard Distract them with sex So the Germans want And when they fall asleep after that cigarette

You just make a run for it So the Brits were happy that anyone got a home run So the victory for everyone But they won one of their own A bit of morale for months of the chat They chose Peter Allen, a small Scottish man who spoke German to attempt the next escape. Imagine German in a Scottish accent. You'd have to do pretty well, wouldn't you?

One problem was, so when you're captured, you don't put a uniform on, you just continue wearing your military uniform that you were captioned in. That's the sort of thing. Like when you watch Hogan's heroes and they're wearing the US uniform. But Peter Allen, the Scottish man, when he was captured, he was wearing a kilt, something that would make you stand out really bad in Germany. Yeah. So even if you got out, people would be like, why are you wearing a kilt?

Yep. Your German would have to be pretty good to get out of that. So they rummaged around and got him some clothes. They did a lot of their own sort of hand sewing. Amazing. All these stories like blow me away, making your own key. It's like the, what's the rock? What's that one in the San Fran place called?

All those things they did. Oh yeah, totally. So together a boat with rain. coats and and those paper mashay heads. Like all those things blow my mind. How many skills people are. Blune my mind. How people have like skills and things?

It's like, I'd be useless in these escapes. Useless. You'd be useless. I'm ruddy useless, I tell you. They would not have sent you to the castle, I don't think. No. I think he'll be, they've just put you in someone's backyard. Don't.

With like a lowish gate. Ah, and then you just stay there. Do you promise not to leave? Yes, sir. Good boy. They ruffle your hair. He's a biscuit. Yeah, and off where they go.

Come back, 20 years later, you're still there. He's a biscuit. It's a dog's biscuit. I'll eat it anyway. You live your life as a dog from now. I can say that happening to you in war. I'm a good boy. No, a good boy.

Our dogs live to be 60 years old. He stands on his hind legs. Okay, the mattress, sorry. I said, rummers around, got him some clothes that wasn't a kilt. They got him a jacket and they put it on this short baby-faced man and tried to make him look like a member of the Hitler youth. That's how young he looked. The men used some straw mattresses that they'd made,

they often did sort of tasks like that, were going to be delivered somewhere out of the castle. So they hit Peter Allen inside one of the mattresses, which essentially were like sacks filled with hay. Yep. So they sewed him inside. They put like a bunch in a pile, then him in the middle, then a bunch more over the top of him.

This sounds like a guy who's about to die. Yeah, I was going to say, how does he breathe? Well, his biggest problem was trying not to sneeze. Yeah. He was in there for hours. Also, his other problem was that guards often use bayonets to prod cargo to check for people trying to run away. Makes sense.

But Alan was lucky and he wasn't stabbed this time. The mattresses were carried out of the castle and were dumped in a local barn. And after lying still for a few hours, and it was quiet, he simply got out, Dusted himself off and walked to the train station. Cold is closest. The idea that someone is going, bag a hay, end of the barn. Bag a hay, in a, oh, this is a heavy bag of hay.

Into the bag of the hay. Well, someone's getting, someone's going to have a double plush bed. Ooh, firm mattress. Must be some goose feathers in here. Yeah, they're heavy. That's like a whole man's worth. of goose feathers in here. Oh well, into the park.

Colt's closest neutral country, Switzerland, was 300 miles away. So once you were out of the castle, the journey really was only just beginning. Alan didn't want to go to Switzerland. He wanted to go to Vienna in Austria. The resistance had been able to get him a little bit of German currency, and he took a train as far as his money would take him. But when he got off, he estimated he was still seven full days of walking to his destination. He's really been around Peter Arzney.

He's been in the cities that never closed down from New York. to Rio and old London town. But no matter how far or how wide he's roamed, you know, he's on his way to the next country. Yeah. The guy sang that song as that's Peter Allen. Yeah, that's right. Good stuff all. I've been to city is a damo.

It's a Qantas ad. Anyway. I hope you enjoyed that in America. Yeah, enjoy. Google it. So he's seven days walk away. He's got very little supplies. Just a couple of pieces of chocolate to keep him going.

Oh, he's fine. So he decided to take a risk. He flagged down a car to hitchhike. It turned out to be a considerable risk because the car he flagged down was an SS vehicle. Oh, my God. The German secret police. Oh, for fuck sake.

Lucky his German was fantastic, and he was able to say he was an engineering student. Ellen recalled that the ride was the scariest moment of his life. Quote, to be vulgar, I nearly needed a new pair of trousers. That is vulgar. He nearly shat himself. But imagine that in a Scottish accent,

I really needed a new bruises. It makes it way funnier. Does it, Dave? Say the whole thing again? No, I'll just say. No, it won't even say it. The car took him 50 miles, and when he got out,

he said he gave the most impressive Hitler salute you've ever seen to try and be like, oh, yeah, I'm a Nazi. Whoa. Try and win him over. He finally made it to Vienna after six days of constant travel and not having eaten. It was exhausted and even though he made it to Austria, he wasn't safe yet because at that time Vienna was under Nazi occupation.

They did, however, have a US embassy and because the USA was neutral and hadn't entered the war at that point, he hoped they would offer him a sanctuary. They rejected him and refused his help despite the fact that his stepmother, Lois Allen, who for our UK listeners I read was the founder of Fuzzy Felt Toys, She was a US citizen and he felt that they would provide him a safe place because of this. But he was wrong and super pissed off. So they just rejected him. Oh, that's brutal. So he went back out into Vienna. He was starting to faint from fatigue because he hadn't eaten in so long.

And he asked the stranger if there was a red cross nearby where he could get something to eat. The stranger said, oh, you can come, you can find some help in here. And when Alan entered the building, he'd realized that he'd accidentally walked into a police station. He had no papers to back up his engineering student story and now exhausted and starving. he had no choice but to come clean and tell them he was an escaped prisoner. He was arrested and taken all the way back to Colditz where it was locked up in solitary confinement. No!

So they didn't get a home run. Don't go to Austria. Just go to Switzerland. Because he thought he was certain that they'd offer him sanctuary. Well, what? No. Is that, does that make sense? I don't know if, like, because they were neutral of that time.

Was that okay for them to basically make a guy go back to Nazi prison? I know, but I think that also, that'd probably also, create diplomatic tension if they're like, oh, it's not our war and we, yeah, we, you know, gave him somewhere, I don't know. God, that sucks. Chapter 4. The French Tunnel. That sounds like a sex move.

All right, grab your guard and give him the French tunnel. Then when he's asleep, we'll all walk out the front girl. I know you save that for anniversaries, but it's time for a French tunnel. Yark. Sorry, sorry that I did that to us. Sorry. Matt, I'm sorry. Apology accepted.

You won't look at me. It's because I've never even heard of a French tunnel. He's looking at me again. You can continue. In the early 1940s, nine French officers organized a long-term tunnel digging project, the longest ever attempted out of coldets. Lieutenant Bernard Casamayou

gained access to the castle's abandoned and sealed up clock tower and recognized that a way out of the prison was to tunnel underneath the castle's chapel and into the crypt. So they gained access at the top of the clock tower from the attic and wanted to dig a tunnel from the base, which was 35 metres below. To help get to the bottom, they started digging through each floor of the clock tower,

tunneling a small hole through each level until they got to the ground below. So basically they just cut a hole in the floor, cut a hole in the floor until they got to the bottom. after previous escaped attempts by Casamayo, the doors, one on each floor, which had provided access to the tower, had been bricked up in order to prevent further escape attempts. However, by sealing up the clock tower,

the Germans had in essence provided a secure location where escape tunnel work could be done without notice. So basically, they'd bricked it up and they thought, we're not even going to look in there because no one can get in there. But they got up high. So they tunneled down all the way through each floor to the bottom of the clock tower, and they started to dig. they got five meters below the tower and found themselves in an old wine cellar.

They needed a place to deposit the earth that they were digging up. So every night, 10 bags of 20 kilos of debris were dragged up by ropes made of bed sheets all the way from the hole at the bottom to the top of the clock tower. So they had to basically lever and pulling them up with bed sheets 35 meters, 20 kilos, which would have been crazy. What a great word. You lose more than five kilos. Oh, for sure.

The men then started digging under the chapel, hoping to get into the crypt, but they ran into a solid wall of rock. So deal with this, they got steel poles out of the clock at the top of the tower and used them as battering rams just to smash the shit out of the rock. This worked a treat. The tunnel itself was extremely sophisticated and even had lights that the men had made out of old food cans. So they're extremely resourceful, these people.

It's amazing. They got through the rock and tunneled 13.5 meters under the chapel, only to find that there was no crypt there. All they did find was a solid wooden beam of heavy oak timber blocking their path. It was decided that they would saw through this beam using a knife that was stolen from the Germans cutlery and then had saw teeth cut into it using a rock.

Wow. So they're making their own sores. With all this action going on below the chapel, the men of the tunnel were worried that they would be overheard by the guards inside. So they developed an alarm system. One of the prisoners was sit in the chapel, usually one of the French soldiers who back home had been a priest,

so it wouldn't be weird that he was hanging out in the chapel all day. He would be holding a switch to the light in the tunnel, and if the guard came, they would switch the light off. So the men soaring below through this wooden oak. If the light went out, they'd stop soaring instantly. It dissuaded to the light went back on. Wow. Which sometimes was a long time.

Casamayo soared through the wooden oak beam every day for a week before he got through it. Because he's just doing a little, little bit, little bit. Because he can't be too loud. only to find that behind it was six more identical wooden beams. So we just kept soaring. It took weeks. You got through them, but he found that there was no crypt and more importantly, no way of getting out to escape. So he's like, well, we've been digging this way.

How about we turn the tunnel this other way and we'll keep going until we find a way out? So they're just digging, sort of digging aimlessly, hoping to get out. He swung the tunnel around, hoping to find a way out through a different direction. Only did you be facing a three metre thick rock wall that, he had no hope of cutting through or knocking over. So if you can't go over it, you can't go through it. You go under it. They tunneled straight down for five meters.

Getting in, so to get in, to get in, you have to go into the attic at the clock tower, go to the bottom there, go, you know, which is another five metres down. Then you go through a 15-minute long tunnel, which then turns, and now they've dug five meters below. So it would take like an hour just to get there. Oh. They kept digging horizontally once again, once they dug underneath this rock. To this point, they'd been plotting and digging and soaring for eight months.

They were hell-bent on getting their freedom. Amazing that they've been able to keep it all under wraps. Isn't it crazy? It's a great effort. How do you get away from your guard? Well, it's not like they stay on you at all times. Well, that's part of their fucking problem, isn't it? They should.

So at times, there's like three-on-one, triple taming? Yeah. Three-on-one? French tunnel. That's the French tunnel. That's the French tunnel. Three and one. Oh, I see.

No, a lot of them are like in guard towers and stuff like that. So they're not like handcuffed to them. They should definitely go man on man. They should definitely go man on man. You wouldn't have, like, how could you escape? How could you escape? How? You couldn't escape.

Idiots. Fucking Nazis. One of the people in the, yeah, they're doing in the towers. What the fuck are they doing in the towers? Well, these people are digging tunnels. They should all handcuff. themselves to their own prisoner. Yeah.

And then like this movie wouldn't be an escape one anymore would be like some sort of a comedy, maybe a romantic comment, buddy cop sort of thing. It'd be a buddy cop thing. They'd first, they'd probably hate it. And then they'd come to appreciate one another. And then they wouldn't be able to live without one another. And then the German would help.

Yes. Because they would have heard them talking about their sick wife or something. You're like, I'm going to get you back home, buddy. but in German. Yeah. I'm going to get you back on. I love you, France. Why do I sound German?

I love you, Edgar. They swap voices for some reason. Ah, that's what friends do. Yeah, pushes the boundaries this movie. Friends always swap voices. Don't they, Jess. Yes. Very good.

Very good. So I've been going for eight months. Tunneling continued well into 1942. By then, the Germans knew that the French were digging somewhere based on the noise of tunneling reverberating through the castle at night. They weren't even talking to each other. Oh, it was reverberating through the castle. Yeah, so you'd hear a bit of noise. You'd be like, what the fuck is that? But they just couldn't find where they were doing it. And the Germans couldn't either. The Nazis. The Nazis, yeah. So they would hear the sounds at night a little bit of, and be like, what the fuck is that?

Stick to your man. No. The French were not concerned because they thought that the tunnel's entrance was undetectable. But disaster struck one day when one of the German guards discovered the dirt they'd be. been hiding under the eaves in the attic. So they've been digging this dirt out and putting it at the top of the clock tower, just stashing it. He reported it to Captain Edgar's, the man in charge of security. He instantly knew that it was evidence of a tunnel. But even after searching the castle from top to toe,

we couldn't find evidence of the entrance to this tunnel. He didn't think to look into the clock tower. I guess he thought if you were going down, while you start at the highest point in the whole castle. Which is kind of genius, in a way. Yeah, yeah. Edgar's kept finding more and more rock and earth around different parts of the camp

and from the different types of soil he could tell how close they were to escape He knew that the tunnel was now outside the castle's walls because the dirt had... Just dig up? Yeah, dig up. It's gone from rock to actual, you know, to soil. He thought that they were only days away from freedom.

The French tunnelers continued their digging but Edgars and his men were now on the lookout and formed a search committee. There's many committees inside. I had to meet every Tuesday Trevor takes the minutes Trevor can you read out the minutes from last last time

Oh with pleasure sir It says here where the fuck are they We need to find them Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Bake sale For Sunday of the month We need snacks next time Someone bring snacks

At the beginning of 1942 The prisons were just two metres of soil away From breaking out completely They'd been digging now for nine months but then Edgar's found the tunnel entrance The German soldiers

Very bravely lowered a small boy down God you're lucky you were to round back there day You'd be the first sign in the tunnel Go on their young Dave Oh no Apparently what the kid yelled was Prisoners Little shit

You'd be like Shut the fuck up Shut the fuck up No nothing down here Nothing to report Shut up You shut your fucking man. I'll take you with me.

The jig was up. No. Brutal. The search committee that found the entrance to the tunnel was rewarded with extra leave. Edgis himself was so impressed with the work that had gone into it that he commissioned a survey of the tunnel. And a weird thing that Germans did was,

whenever they foiled one of these escapes, they got the prisoners to reenact their escape attempts so they could take photos of them. So there's all these photos of like sad-looking English and Frenchmen and sort of like poking their head out of like a toilet or something because they were trying to escape through it. Do you like how the Nazis, whenever someone bust something,

they give those people who were smart enough to figure it out leave? Yeah. So eventually all their best guards are going to be on leave. And they're just left with the night shift. Oh man. This is fun. See, French tunneling is always a disappointing experience. Well, not for everyone.

Isn't it, well, doesn't it normally end with a boy being lowered down? Lowered down. And yelling, you shut the fuck up. It's a wild thing. It's exciting. It's a wild manoeuvre. Chapter 6, teaming up with the Dutchman. Oh, this is another sex move.

It does sound like it. Yeah, this is... I hadn't planned on these. Threesome is what you're describing there. Some of them are less intriguing and... It's an orgy. teaming up with a Dutchman makes a threesome to you I guess your picture is pre-coupled

then you're bringing in the Dutchman is that what you're thinking? Yeah That makes sense to man The Brits were still yet to get a home run So they decided to team up with the Dutch Englishman Airy Neve teamed up with Dutchman Tony Luton

Neve had noticed from his window and solitary environment that there may be a path underneath the stage of the castle theatre So just decided that the prisoners were allowed to put on shows for each other in the hope that it would distract them from escaping. Sure. Yeah. And some of them would...

A quick ball change. A two, three, four. Well, they'd have to play the male and female parts, and I've seen photos of them. Some of them were very convincing women. There's pictures of my dad in the 70s at an all boys' school, like dressed up as a woman, and he was a very pretty girl. Looks very good.

He's gorgeous. It's like, who's this, babe? That's your father. Oh, okay. I'm confused. So am I. I went to a boys high school. I'm sure I played a woman.

I always played men. I had long hair back then, so I think it was the obvious choice. And obviously very beautiful. And as all women are. And a very good actor. Yep. Yep. Amazing.

I say. Neve was right about the tunnel under the stage, but the problem was that whilst the path got them out of the prisoner's courtyard, it led to another walled courtyard occupied. by soldiers. To get them through this, the men decided to dress as German soldiers. The Dutch had coats that looked a bit like the German coats, except the collar on the German coat was green. So they added this on with paint from the theatre. They used to build the sets. They also had to make fake German officer hats, including the prominent Nazi eagle,

which they decided to make out of linoleum and sew on. Hat, like to make them believable would just be so much work. It's crazy. It's crazy. Luton was dressed as a captain and the Englishman, Arian Eve, was made out to look like a first lieutenant. The disguises were considered, quote, good enough to pass on a dark night. That's all you need. Most nights are pretty dark. Yeah. They were a bit worried about the plan. They didn't know what their fate would be if they were caught in a German uniform. They thought that perhaps that would be a crime that they would punish with death.

But they went through it anyway, very bravely. They went underneath the stage and into the soldiers' garrison. Erie Neve and his companion who were dressed as high-ranking officers were told, by the first century that there was, quote, nothing to report, sir. They asked the second German soldier, who was about to challenge them, why he was not saluting them.

So they sort of distracted him. And he was about to be like, show me your paperwork. And they were like, where's his salute boy? And they sort of, he was, sorry, sir. Sorry. He promptly saluted and they just walked on. Minutes later, they were throwing their German uniforms

into the river and starting their journey to Switzerland. They did make it all the way And it was the first home run for the British The Brits were rejuvenated by the success And it spurred on men to attempt more escapes The group started acting more together With other nationalities after the success And from 1942 on the British escapologists

Were able to rely on the collective ingenuity of the camp Yeah So everyone's like That makes sense to me Totally I mean they're all fighting a war together Yeah true You're all on the same team

So what are we got? That's three countries with a run now. Yes, we've got the Dutch, the English and the French. All have a home run. And in 1942, there was... Where the Aussies? Hey? There's very few Australians.

It's interesting they were called them home runs, seeing as none of them were like classic baseball playing countries. Yeah, true. I could have called them a goal or something. I guess the home part... A touchdown. Works. An ace.

They're running away and they're going. A hole in one. Yeah. Yeah. Seven hole in ones. Croquet. Yeah. A croquet.

We scored a croquet. Yeah. I don't know how they scored croquet, but I like it. Well, one croquet, two croquet, three, croquet, four. Five croquet, six, croquet, seven croquet, more. And you win. If you get to more, you win. If you get more.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like tennis. Yeah. Yeah. But more. But more. Even more like tennis.

15.30. more. Yeah. Gotcha. Now this I'm more all. in 1942 there was a record 82 escape attempts nearly two a week so most of them they don't get out but they're just constantly trying constantly trying

a couple of weeks they would be exhausting for the guards not that I'm on their side well the prisoners were didn't treat the guards that well they did what they called goon baiting basically pissing off the guards with little pranks like water bombing them and setting fire the stuff throwing poo at them

mainly just harassing them to distract them from their real escape plan so they'd have to deal with this little crappy sort of, you know, annoying stuff all the time whilst Jones is bloody under the stage drilling away. Amazing. Now they developed a series of complex hand signals to indicate to each other which way the soldiers were going. Yeah, pointing. Pointing?

Complex. Well, they pointed with two fingers. Oh, Nazi fingers. And the resistance at home was able to help them out by smuggling them things to help escape attempts. They send them... Nail files. Well, things are like that.

They're given things that looked innocent, like inside, they'd send them a record to play on the gramophone. But then they'd smash the record, and inside was a map. The backs of cards could also be put together for a giant map. They were given compasses hidden inside things like pens. What? All things that so once you're in,

because, you know, you're in the middle of a country you don't really know very well. So the more help you can get onto you're out, the better. I was thinking that before, like, with the Scotsman who is in the bag of hay and then walks to the train station. I wouldn't know where the fucking train station is. I don't know where the train station is in most Melbourne suburbs.

You're going to try and find the train. Without Google Maps, I'd be like, I don't know, I just wander around aimlessly. They also send them pens with Google Maps. Oh, that's so handy. That was really handy. Really handy. Chapter 6.

No, I thought we did 6. That was 6. Chapter 7. Yes. The Noody Run. Yes! I'm on. already.

The leader of the British resistance, Pat Reed, was himself able to escape. He made another copy of a key to a door that would lead them to freedom, and after walking through a courtyard at night with three other men dressed in dark clothing and not being spotted by patrolling guards, which is amazing in itself. There's spotlights, there's men patrolling up and down everywhere, so there's very quietly sneaking around. He got to the door, found he couldn't open it. He spent an hour jiggling it, trying to get the key,

And, you know, like, when you get a key in there, it's like a little bit there. And a little bit, no, no, shit. No avail. Never one to give up. He decided to take them into another place where he heard that there might be a storage cellar. He was right. And inside, there was a tiny air shaft that initially he wasn't able to get through. He wasn't able to squeeze through it.

Oh, my God. So he took all his clothes off. Yes. To make himself as small as possible. And he found some olive oil. Well, he scraped the shit out of his body, apparently. Oh, see, because he didn't lube himself up. You got a lube up.

You got a lube up. He was able to squeeze through. You got me grease. Willie. Grease me up, woman. He and the three men... Yes, yes, we do. Real good stuff.

He and the three other men, they all got naked, squeezed through. So they throw their clothes through. Yeah, that's smart. Go through. Kind of... I would forget to do that, and I would just go out naked and then be like, oh, fuck. Well, maybe what they would have done was left the clothes.

clothes with the last man and then he threw it. Because imagine if he threw your clothes through confidently and then you couldn't get through. Yeah. They've got to go back to the barracks and you don't have any clothes. Great point. But they made it and they made it to Switzerland. So another few home runs for the Brits. No.

To ask up a tunnel like that, nude. Oh. That is, that's French tunneling. And you've, no, that's French tunnel. You're giving them quite a bit of space before you start going, aren't you? You're not going to. You want to get out there. I mean, you are.

A lot of the time you have already crawled through a sewer. Right. Interesting. Nose to us. Imagine if someone farted in your face. What chapter am I up to? Eight. Chapter eight.

A beautiful woman. Question mark. It's not going to be a woman. It's not going to be a woman. Oh, beautiful. Not all the escapes were successful, obviously. Uh-oh. So they're trying a lot of stuff.

On the 5th of June, 1941. Two attempts away. they'd all be out if they were all successful. In 1941 in June, while returning from the park to the castle walking back up the hill, some British prisoners noticed that a passing lady had dropped her watch. Being British gentlemen, one of the Brits called out to her, but the lady just kept walking instead of coming back for her watch. This aroused the suspicion of the German guards.

No. No. It hadn't crossed their mind that a civilian woman shouldn't be in this restricted area in the first place. They just sort of all looked at this beautiful woman. upon inspection, she was revealed to be a French officer dressed as a very respectable lady Back to the castle Oh, but the English guys like accidentally

Excuse me, excuse me, dropped your watch and This is what chivalry gets you Yeah She's thinking, fuck, fuck off, fuck off, but like also time you're Escape a bit better so that people aren't walking past you But yeah, why are you? Oh, okay, yep Barmer

Barma Chapter 9 The Sparky Oh, somebody, the lights went out and they got an electrician in. Oh my God, exactly right. One of the men looked remarkably like the local electrician, which is crazy. A man named Willie. Of course his name's Willie.

So they purposefully blew the circuits of the lights to the castle. It's fucked around with the fuse box so that Willie would have to be called out to the castle. Willey came in and a few minutes later the officer that looked like Willie went out dressed in a similar outfit to him So good tried to walk out through the front gate Unfortunately the fake Willie showed a pass

that had just been updated So he wasn't allowed out He was caught and there's a photo of the two Willys The Germans took a photo of them together And they look so similar Is crazy Should I Google two Willies now And see what comes up?

Yeah yeah yeah Google two Willis Google two German willies. Two German willies. That would be much safer. No, no, no. Two German penises. Wait, no. You idiot.

German willie penis. Hang on. Chapter 10. The ghost. Oh my gosh. Okay. Firstly, sorry. Can I just quickly go back one step and say that that was amazing that I picked.

That was incredible. that they're amazing from Sparky which is All right Matt Which only means one thing It's amazing that you knew that Get fucked Okay you pick this one

I reckon I would say that that That slang for an electrician in Australia Go on Matt I think that's an English thing isn't it Or is it Oh we do it It seems like a bit of a colloquial I think maybe

I think a lot of our colloquialisms are If it's that easy Nail it from the Ghost Go on Tell us what happens in this one Yeah As if you don't you know already.

Drew, you want me to say it? Yep. Well, one of them kills himself so he can walk through the wall to safety. Honestly, can I have a guess? Not that far off. One of them puts a sheet over himself, walks around for a bit going, it's a bit too spooky for some of the guards, and out he goes. I'm an electrician.

Not a sparky, he's a spooky. Just for our overseas listeners, a spooky is someone who looks like a ghost in Australian in colloquial language. Some of the prisoners were known as ghosts. What they would do is fake an escape attempt. But they would never actually leave the castle. They would hide. And whenever someone would make a successful escape attempt when they got out of the walls,

once they were gone, the ghost would reappear and pretend to be them. So they'd never notice that that person was missing for a couple of days. So they'd sleep in the person's bed, eating their spot in the mess hall, and be counted to them in the line up in the morning. Sort of take their place where they're uniform, that kind of thing. Then after a couple of days,

they would disappear again, meaning the Germans didn't know that the escapee had a two-day head start. So they'd be like, oh, you know, Elaine's just left, really. So they'll be looking in a smaller perimeter. Yeah, they'd be close by, but really he's halfway across Germany.

So good. I love this. Shit, what teamwork. Oh, the ghost often lived a tough life, often hiding in uncomfortable spots and they were no longer able to write to their families because they had to pretend to not be there anymore. Wow. So back home, you know, they'd be getting, you know, a letter every few months, but they'd have to

cut that off. Wow. Crazy. And they were just doing that for the greater good or the good of their friends or whatever. So cool. Yeah, wow. I would not do that for you. I hope those guys got some of those metal things.

For ghosting. Yeah, there should be a ghost cross. It's invisible. Chapter 11. Oh, my God. The Red Fox. Matthew. You are the Red Fox.

Yeah. What? Is this one where the fox eats the prisoner and then jumps the fence and then the prisoner out again? So close. Great. God, you're good. Amazingly, the did. Geneva Convention had been respected up until this point,

and all those that escaped and were recaptured simply returned to coldids. It was a rule that escaping prisoners couldn't be shot. But in 1943, Hitler made a decree that any enemy soldier caught out of his uniform in either civilian or German clothing was to be treated as a spy and shot on site. So this made escape attempts much more dangerous. Because obviously, you can't see, if you're outside of the castle in your uniform, you're going to get about five minutes away. A man who was not afraid of this ruling was Britishman Michael Sinclair

who had escaped from prison so many times that he was nicknamed the Red Fox. Classic multiple escaping animal. He's sly? He had a big rep. Big, big rap. It had been noticed that he looked a lot like, amazingly again, German guard commander, a German guard commander that everyone called Franz Joseph. Because that was his name?

No, actually not his name. He was nicknamed that because he looked like an... It's so complicated. An Austrian leader from like the late 19th century, I believe. All right. His real name was harder to pronounce and everyone called him Franz Joseph, so I'm just going to call him that. Franz was a high-ranking commander

and if Michael Sinclair could impersonate him, the plan was to relieve the German guards of their duties, swap them with British soldiers dressed as guards, and if successful, the British would have a... about three and a half minutes for as many men as possible to descend from the British quarters overlooking the side of the castle via ropes made of sheets. Oh my God. And they could all just make a run for it.

Basically, I wanted to do that before the real German guards returned to the guardhouse with the real Franz Joseph, where they'd discover the ruse. See, they have about three and a half minutes. This plan took many months. For one, they had to make fake guns and uniforms so that three men could look like German officers. And Michael Singler had to study Franz Joseph's mannerisms so he could impersonate. him perfectly. Also, he needed to get a sweet fake mustache because he looked like him except he didn't

have a mustache. Grow one. Some of us can't, Jess. I've spent my entire life trying to grow a Franz Joseph. Feels like that might give the game away as well. Yeah, if you start growing and people like, look a lot of Franz Joseph. Shut up. He's coming here soon, isn't he?

Shut up. Shut up. Stop talking. Finally, the night came after many months. And the fake Franz Joseph and two Brits dressed. as German soldiers with fake guns made of wood, crazy, put the plan into action whilst dozens of prisoners watched on silently. The first two centuries were replaced with that argument. So he walked up to them and said, you're relieved, this guy's taking over from you. And because he was such a high-ranking

guy that didn't question him. All they needed to do now was relieve the man on the front gate. The fake Franz Joseph walked up to him. The soldier guarding the gate refused to budge, remaining adamant that his orders were to stay put. Sinclair was now a fact. with the choice of either persisting with a stubborn guard or making a run for it with his two colleagues. He decided to continue with the ruse. He became increasingly annoyed with the sentry, yelling at him in German,

and it was not long before other guards arrived from all over the camp because he was yelling so much. In the confusion, it appeared as if Mike, dressed as Franz Joseph, was reaching for a revolver, which he didn't even have, so the guard shot him. He fell to the ground,

and the disguise was so good that initially the Germans thought that the real Franz-Josephs, Joseph was shot. They started panicking because I thought they'd shot like a senior guy. Amazingly, Michael Sinclair survived. Shit. He's taken to the prison hospital. But sadly, he went on to be the only soldier killed whilst attempting to escape Caldits when in 1944 he again made a break for it.

He was shot twice. He was buried with full military honours and the Germans even made a homemade British flag to bury him in because they had such respect for him. and he was posthumously awarded the Distinguished Service Order after the war. He's the only lieutenant to be awarded the medal during the whole World War, hold Second World War for an action in captivity. Holy shit. So yeah.

That's amazing. Chapter 12. Oh, my God, there's so many chapters. I believe this is the final chapter. Chapter 12. The cock. Finally one that's not a sex thing. Yeah, finally.

It's getting really sick of his potty mouth. Just talk about the war, mate. It's all spoole. mut with this one, isn't it? Sadly, as the war went on, the escape attempts became harder and harder. Probably the most ridiculous escape attempt of all was the cold its cock. The cold its cock was a name given to a glider that men attempted to build in order to fly out of the castle. Amazing.

Because roosters can't fly. They can glide, though. I guess that's the point, right? From a height, a chicken can sort of glide down. I suppose if you threw a chicken off the roof, it could glide. I don't know. It'd flap its wings enough to break its fall. Wouldn't it?

Yeah, I reckon. Let's try it. In the name of science, I'm going to throw this rooster from this castle. We could just watch that, that Wallace and Gromit, that Ardvark, Ardman movie Chicken Run.

Oh, yeah. I think that might be the whole plot line. The whole premise is that they can't fly properly. The idea for the glider came from Lieutenant. Tenet Tony Rolt, who was not even an airman, had noticed the chapel roof line was completely obscured from German view. So if you're up on the roof, they can't see you up there. He realized that the roof would make a perfect launching point from which a glider could fly across the river, which was about 60 metres below.

Construction took months and it was built completely in secret, hidden away behind a fake wall in one of the castle's attics. So they built a wall and they'd come in and the wall was so good that the Germans didn't notice. that one of the addicts was six meters shorter than the other. It's amazing. The takeoff was scheduled for the spring of 1945 during an air raid blackout, but by then the Allied guns could be heard, and the war's outcome was fairly certain. The British Escape Office decided that the glider should only be available for use

in the case that the SS ordered the massacre of the prisoners as a way to get the message out to approaching American troops. So basically, they start shooting everyone, get in the glider. Wow, that's full on. Glider was approaching completion when the American army liberated the camp on the 16th of April 1945, so it had never been flown. But they proudly displayed it to the Americans. That's great.

Imagine how would the Americans have liberated the castle? Like how, that's crazy. Well, basically, they came into the town and they started shooting at the town and they had to make... Shooting at the town. Yeah. They had to... Cut this town. Eat my lead.

What's the end? They're like, we just got to... Take that letterbox. Take that town hall. Na, na, na,

na, da, da, da, da, there's that goat. There's that goat again. Yada, blah,

man of a thousand noises. The man of a thousand noises. Because I came in with new guns, the Americans. What's that called? That one. That one. The shamagum.

The shaman. The shaman. I burnt down the butcher. In 1999. So what I was saying was they were worried that the castle was going to get blown up because all these tanks came across the horizon. So they got all there, they got some white sheets and started, you know,

white flag. Ghosting. Yeah. It's a castle of ghosts. It's a castle of ghosts. Oh, you go. Don't blow us. We are already dead.

Go shoot some letter boxes. Good idea. We better do what they say. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, they've got guns too. Yeah, no, no, no. Start impersonating gun sounds from inside the castle. Oh, they've got a shamau.

Holy shit. How did they get a shamal? I thought we invented that. In 1999, a full-size replica of the cold-its glider was commissioned by Channel 4, and the glider was flown successfully in the year 2000 on its first attempt. Wow. They would have made it. With about a dozen of the veterans who had worked on it 55 years earlier proudly watching on.

No. It was their invention. So their specifications, and they even used the same tools that they had at their disposal and the same pieces of materials that they would have used. That was incredible. I was so sure you were going to say it crashed and it combusted in a massive explosion. It didn't have anything explosive on it, but somehow it exploded. And those veterans that had survived the war were killed by a glider.

I don't want to imagine that. The final words were, it's coming right for us. Their final words were, shan-na-na-na-n-n-n-n-n-n-no-no-no. So they tried to shoot it out of the air with your shamau. Post script Epilogue Volume 4 Wow

Home runs This is titled All in all There were some 320 Escape attempts from Colditz So you're probably wondering Who got the most home runs Yes

Right Was it 230 attempts or 230 people attempted You know what I mean Was it 230 Single attempts or 320 Escape attempts? Yeah, sometimes with multiple people. Great.

Home runs. Five for the Polish. 14 for the British. Oh. 15 for the Dutch. But winning the race on 22 Frenches. Wow. Good job, Frenchies.

Freedom fries. And a final thing I will say here is an honorable mention must go to the final escape. The final person to make it in 1945, before they were liberated, it goes to Lieutenant Colonel Miles Belfrage Re. The oldest British prisoner in the camp He feigned heart disease by smoking heavily And drinking concentrated black coffee Prior to a medical examination

And he was sent home on medical grounds No, no fucking way They thought he had heart disease So they sent him home They sent him home Yeah So if you were really sick, they would send you home And I think mainly because they didn't want to have to look after you

Yeah, it makes sense It would be like, why would you want to have to nurse? Use your resources Totally. Wow. I really just expected them to kill someone like that. How long before the liberation was that? Do you know?

Just a couple of months. So that's pretty funny too because it's like you nearly got out anyway. But you would obviously you don't know that at the time. No, you don't know. Of course you don't, but that's pretty funny. And what a confusing organization that Nazis are, they'll respect their enemies more than their country. Like they've so brutal to millions and millions of their own people.

Millions and millions of their own people. millions of people. But then send home, oh, this old fella doesn't look too good. Better send him home. Yeah. That's crazy. Post-post script, Coltis Castle is now a youth hostel and museum. What? And it's a dream of mine to go there. On TripAdvisor, it's ranked number one of three specialty lodging in Colet's. Wow. So, yeah, you could go sleep on a bunk bed in there or something. Yeah, and there's also like the preserved bits where people escaped and you can look at tunnels and stuff. How cool would that be?

We've got to go there. We've got a few German listeners, but please tell your friends because we need a few more to make it worth our time to do a live show from Coltons Castle. How cool would that be? That would be awesome. That is my report on Colditz Castle. It's great report. Thanks guys.

Fantastic stories. I do love an escape story. Yeah, well done, Dave. A lot of fun. And I will say, I remember Coltis, because I, many years ago, probably when it was new, in about the year 2000, our timeline in the UK made a great documentary on it, which is now all on YouTube, and I watched it again.

So there's a link to it in the notes of the description. And yeah, I remember watching that with my dad when I was maybe about 10 or 11 and just being fascinated by it. It's amazing. There's also a famous British board game called Escape from Cold It's, apparently, which would be fun to play. Yeah, if you're a nerd. Well, I am.

Which I am. I'm not. I'm cool. Well, I've heard just like what just wants to bully people so bad. I want to. Let me. Let me bully. Please.

And thanks for everyone that's followed up and, you know, suggested that I'd do that topic after mentioning on the Charles Upham episode. If you haven't heard that one, a great report that Jess did on a World War II badass, probably one of the baddest asses we've ever spoken of. So check that episode out. Real horrible ass. Oh, man. You would not want to be crawling through a sewer with his bare ass in your face.

Oh, God. No, no, no. And of course, it is that time of the episode to say thanks to everyone that's listened to it to this point. And also to everyone that supports the show via Patreon. I have two ideas. One, we give them a team within the castle, like a nationality. Okay. Okay.

Why are you laughing? Well, I mean, they've already got a nationality, but... No, but just from this, from that... Or two, We decide whether or not they would have escaped. Oh, and how? And we give them a chapter title. Okay, that's better.

And whether or not it would have been successful. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So what we're going to do now is we're going to thank some people that support us via Patreon. Patreon.com slash do go on pod. And as announced on last week's episode, we have eclipsed our most recent Patreon goal,

which means from April onwards, we'll be doing two bonus episodes a month. So they're exclusive to people that support us on Patreon. So you want to have two bonus episodes of this month, 24 a year. One head on over to patreon.com slash do go on pod. And there's a bunch of other rewards and stuff on there, including thanking some people and giving them a nationality, apparently. Okay, well, fuck, neither of you can't have a fucking idea.

Yeah, right. Well, I did the chapters. Okay, so it's a great idea. I'm sorry for ever speaking and I'll never do it again. Let's do all those things. No, I think we should definitely talk about how they would escape. And what nationality they would be. Okay, let's do it all.

Let's do it all. I'd love to thank if I could. From Australia, from far north Queensland in Cairns, Kate Jordan. Thanks, Kate Jordan. What nationality? Is she Jordanian? Yeah. I guess that makes sense.

Pretty good, Jess. Exactly working. And I imagine, like Air Jordan, she would have flown out of there just on her own body power. Oh, so she would have slammed dunked out of there. Yeah, from the foul line, she would have. The foul line? Yeah. Okay.

So what would her story have been called? The Air Jordan. The Air Jordan. A bit of product placement in her title. She's sponsored. That's good. I like it. Thank you, Kate Jordan.

Thank you, Air Jordan. Sorry, you must be so bored of Jordan things. But anyway, we just loaded you up with... Thanks, Kate. But you made it. You survived. Oh, she made it. Yeah.

She made it back to Jordan. Well, don't, Kate. It's a long way back to Jordan for Germany. She walked it. Oh, she, you know, she wrote on the front of a train for a little while, but yeah. She's Superman on the front of a train. I'd also love to think from Ontario in Canada, Mac Schildroth. Oh, what a name.

Mac, Shildroth. Schildroth. Mac. Mac. What nationality, is Scottish, surely? Yeah. Scott. Chapter title of the Big Mac.

Yeah. The Big Mac. The Big Mac. Oh. So, the nationality. They're a large person. ate their way out. Yeah.

Eight through the brick. Eight through the brick. Eight a bit at a time. Made it. Made it, but not by escaping, but by people going, oh, they're sick. Let's send them home. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And that was the plan all along. Matt got so sick from eating rubble that on day two, he just started vomiting everywhere. And they were like, get out of here, bud. Yeah. This guy's not okay. Vomiting rubble. He's really unwell. All right.

Thank you. And from examining the vomit, they could tell just how far he'd been digging. The different type of soil he was vomiting out. Like, hmm. Yeah, look, he's only a couple of days out. He's only a couple of days away from eating his way out. Maybe we should keep an eye on him. No, let him roam amongst the garden.

We'll find it. Let him be free. We'll find his tunnel that he's eating his way through. Would you like to thank some people, Dave? I would. I would like to thank. From New Holstein in Wisconsin, America, I would like to thank a very hard name to pronounce.

It is first name X, Z, surname Neil. I think it's pronounced. Gz. One more time. Gz. Z Z. Gz. Gz.

Gz. You're going straight for the Z sound. What we need from you is a bit of an X at the start. Gz. You're doing it poop now. Oh, thank you. Oh, my God. I was talking to Dave.

You were nailing it. Dave? I said we. Yes, Dave. Thank you. All right, let me have another go. Come on, I can do this. Go on, one more try.

Yeah, there it is. Neil, thank you so much. Where is, Neil is Serbian. Okay. And ex... How about I come up the chapter title and you tell me what happened in it? Okay. It will be obvious, but okay.

The bloated hippo. What he did was he got a hippo delivered to the castle. Okay, which you could do through the Red Cross. You could do that through the Red Cross. And the guards were like, what's going on here? So they all gathered, because hey, funny as a hippo. Turns out, it's a Trojan horse sort of thing. Oh, Trojan Hippo.

Trojan hippo. Much better chapter tartar, by the way. Trojan hippo should have gone with that. And a bunch of allies came out of the hippo, killed everyone. Killed everyone. They all got away. So did exist?

Everyone. Get out? Everyone was dead. Did it get out or they killed in the crossfire? No, only one. Only one I got out. I got out. Well, so that's three home runs.

So, I have listened to pretty good. Thank you. As if we're going to say somebody didn't make it. Well, I've got a bad feeling about this next question. All the way from Libertyville, which is ironic name if they do not make it. In Illinois, also in the USA, I'd like to thank Melanie Blair. Melanie Blair. Blair which project

Whereas Melanie is a French person Yep So the most home runs Yeah go Mel B Mel B Her chapter title is The Sporty Spice Even though that's

Mel C See that's the confusion Yeah that was on purpose Mel B pretended to be sporty spice And she was let out the front door. Wow. Because they, yeah, they're not big fans.

But she did not make it. She drowned in the river. Wow. Whoa. Yeah. Didn't see that coming, did you? No. I mean, she could get caught or something.

That's why you don't text and walk at the same time, Mel. That's true. Well played. But her ghost lived on. Oh, definitely. Ooh. I tell you what I want, what I really, really want. Zika, Zika.

Can I thank some people? Yes, you certainly can. Sir, I would like to thank from a local, from Carnegie. I would like to thank Tom Arthur. Tom Arthur. Thank you, Tom. I'm thinking Carnegie Hall, USA. Okay, interesting.

An American. An American. And what would Tom's chapter title be? D.W. All Wet. D.W. All Wet. Yep. So it was a book my sister had as a kid, which featured the character Arthur. Because DW was his sister.

Yes. I can't remember anything about it, but I just always found that to be a very funny title. Okay. DW all work. A whole book about a little, I think, hamster. Ardvark. Just getting Ardvark. Go into the beach.

Is there a whole story in that? Yeah, absolutely there is. Well, they agreed, I guess. So is Tom Arthur's story? They just went to the beach. Oh, look, I only gave you the title. What's the story? Well, when you said DW, I just imagine that, again, it was another nude escape.

But this time their clothes had gotten all wet. And they just left a note saying, don't worry, all wet. Yeah. And then they did a nudie run and survived. Don't worry, all wet. Yeah, they're also running out of it. We're really worried. What should we do?

These clothes are soaking. These clothes are partially wet. Oh no. They're all wet. Thank you. And did Tom make it nude? Yes. Oh, wow.

He still lives nude till this day. As a sign of good luck. Mel's the only ones if I haven't made it. Sorry, Mal. Hope you feel bad about that. Gers lives on. And I'd also like to thank from Pearl River in New York, Gregory Gritman. Sick name.

Good name, isn't it? That's good. G. G. G. Nationality, Matt? Garnian. Oh.

Oh, wow. Garnan. Garnian. Garnian. Garnian. Fuck. Okay. Chapter title? The Garnayan.

Oh, that's good. I mean, it was quite rare to have a Garnayan inside the Allied Prisoner War camp. Seems odd. And, yeah, posed as a, like a head honcho in the Nazi castle. Poses the bishop. of the castle. And... He created a title.

Pope Gregory. Supposed as Pope Gregory. Oh, right. They just let him out. They're like, how bloody, what are you doing in here? They're like,

that's what I was about to ask you. I'm sorry, there's been a horrible administrative error. We've accidentally arrested Pope Gregory. He's from the wrong time and place. We've got to let him go. He's clearly very lost. But, you know,

like the good shepherd, he'll find his way home. Something or something. So did Gregory, you make it? Yes. Wow, everyone made except Mel B. But Mel B's ghost did.

Oh, right. Sorry, Mel B. I really tried for you. Thanks to everyone that supports the show at Patreon. We appreciate that a lot. Thank you and goodbye. Later. Bye.

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