Two In The Think Tank - 130 - Donald Crowhurst & The Golden Globe Race
Episode Date: April 18, 2018In search of fame and fortune, Donald Crowhurst enters The 1968 Sunday Times Golden Globe Race Around the World - a competition for the first person to solo circumnaviagate the world without stop...ping.However, unlike the rest of the field, Crowhurst is not a highly qualified sailor. He decides to mortgage his house and business in order to build his own boat for the 30,000 mile journey. When things don't go well at sea, he begins to lie about his position in the race... But will his huge lie catch up with him?Dave reports on this crazy story, recorded live at The Melbourne Comedy Festival.- Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod- Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: http://bit.ly/DoGoOnHat Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.comSOURCES AND FURTHER READING:Deep Water (IFC Films, 2006), Fantastic documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY2rQh8UraYhttps://www.rightboat.com/articles/the-greatest-ever-yacht-race-1969-sunday-times-golden-globe-racehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunday_Times_Golden_Globe_Racehttp://goldengloberace.com/ggr/https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/drama-on-the-waves-the-life-and-death-of-donald-crowhurst-421934.htmlhttps://www.sportsnet.ca/more/big-read-donald-crowhursts-heartbreaking-round-world-hoax/http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-414489/Donald-Crowhurst-sea-lies.htmlhttps://www.theguardian.com/uk/2009/apr/05/donald-crowhurst-lone-sailor Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure
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from our great mites. Hello, good afternoon, welcome down to another episode of Duke I1.
This time, love the Maverick Comedy Festival, how are you doing?
Thank you so much, thank you so, so much for coming out on this beautiful Saturday afternoon. My name is Dave Hornke and this is a podcast and podcasting is of course a team sports
So let's welcome my teammates now. It's just Perk is a nice short ladies and gentlemen
Yay
Thanks, thanks for having me, Dave. That is a nice shirt.
Alright, let's...
Well, this old thing.
Oh, and a hairline.
Alright, so, you know where this shirt was short, shirt?
You know where this shirt was perched?
Where was it per purchased from exactly?
Gary Indiana.
Gary Indiana. Yeah.
Camille?
Yes.
Camille, what a fucking legend.
Everyone else is on notice.
No, good on you all.
No, I'm not saying you're worse than him, he's just better than you.
That's all.
No, that works.
Yeah, just trying to do the maths on it.
My strength.
For those of you who are at home, Matt is wearing a Gary Indiana shirt and I don't think he's
ever going to take it off.
Matt, like, take it off to do it.
Camille also said, please don't go to Gary, it's no good.
But I think he's lying.
Yeah, it just makes us want to go there even more. It totally does.
Murder capital, yes!
I did not know that part.
Yes!
Yeah, we do love good murder here at Do Go On.
Let's see if someone gets murdered today, okay? That's f**k. Oh listen, I don't know if you've heard last week's episode, but listening
back, I wasn't encouraging a group of people to cheer a potential death. And then myself,
I was hearing myself beat disappointed that someone didn't die. That's so bad. That's sociopathic right there.
Anyway, but how are you, Jess and Matt? You good?
For the audio recording, Jess.
Yeah, she just flipped me off for those at home.
I'm going to do a lot of mine today.
I don't know why. I'm very well. Thank you, days.
I had coffee earlier and I feel pretty blown up tip-top.
You had a banana for potassium.
You have coffee every day.
Yep.
Okay, and Matt, you're good? You're good for this?
Yeah, real good.
I mean that.
Oh, good.
And how are you guys, you good?
Wooo! There's so many of you here, hello. I mean that. Oh good. And how are you guys? Are you good?
Hello!
There's so many of you here.
Hello.
Hello, Renna at the bar.
Hello.
You guys, I mean, it's impossible to get a drink right now, isn't it?
Yeah.
That's OK.
But if you wanted to grab us one, that's fine.
No volunteers.
Interesting, OK?
That's why they don't get a seat.
Oh, you grabbed your beer just to sort of shove it in our faces. I got mine.
I'm prepared.
Yeah, well, that's our fault, you're right.
Oh, that is so right.
No, I don't not want some of your beer.
I think you don't.
Like, it's not that it's your beer.
Yes, it is that it's your beer, yeah.
I don't know where you've been.
I'll have some of yours.
LAUGHTER
No, no.
So...
I'll have some of that one.
Um, give me a round of applause if you have heard our podcast before.
Thank you.
Now, could virtually, if you've never heard the podcast, cheer now.
It's okay, that's okay.
People always pointed at him like this one.
Make fun of this one.
We won't, we won't.
We won't, we, um, welcome to the club.
Thank you.
Every so at 130, I believe.
What happens on this show is one of us is going to report on a topic suggested by a listener
on multiple listeners and this week it is my turn to do a topic.
I'll stop it.
You fucking love it.
You love it so much.
Now I do love the report.
I love making the report, but I also love making the really, really long.
So I hope you have no plans tonight.
It's the only thing he can make long
Very good SAS twins
After a raging start your fuck I'm not and I
Take you down you're after a raging start, I'm not after a raging start.
She just implied my penis was small, I was just going with it.
There's no bad ideas on the show, Jess.
Even the ones, even that kind of idea.
All right, all right.
So I'm going to start this topic with a question because I'm conventional.
All right.
Jess. Yes. To get us on top of it, we this topic with a question because I'm conventional. All right. Jess.
Yes.
Yes.
To get us on top of it, we'll start with a question.
I'll be looking at you.
I'll be looking at you.
I'll be looking at you.
This question, it's one of those open ones, the potential of winning how much money would
it take for you to consider sailing around the world on your own without stopping?
That was a confusing question.
How much money would it take is what you asked?
Yeah, how much prize money? If you complete the task with your little sailing experience.
I mean, that's something you are presuming. I typed in Jess Perkins sailboat into Google and
nothing came up, so that's my research. Try Jess Oh. Yeah. Mega yacht.
It doesn't count if you have a crew of 60 people running your mega yacht.
I did recently said you guys pictures of sick yachts I'd found online.
Did I?
Yeah, she did.
So which one?
Which one?
Which one are we going to buy first?
Yeah.
Podcasting is going real well.
Yeah.
Okay, how much money?
Have you got any boating experience?
No, I mean, so I thought how much would you be,
so you're not paid upfront if you can buy it.
I need you to do it.
Well, I mean, I'm not gonna ever do that.
So it's a stupid question.
All right, just tell him.
It's a stupid question.
Thank you.
But what have I offered you 5,000 pounds?
No. All right. It's a stupid question. What have I offered you 5,000 pounds?
No!
Alright?
Well some people are fucking dumb and I'm gonna try.
So that was in the 60s, 60,000 pounds or 110,000 Aussie dollars.
Would you try it?
You wouldn't try it.
For 110,000.
Yeah.
How much is a yacht cost for starters?
110.
You know?
Alright. Alright. 110. You know all right
All right
Well, I didn't think you'd get the topic so this is the story of Donald Crowhurst and the Sunday Times Golden Globe race around the world
Can't see is any any any you guys heard of that?
Fuck yeah
I will not confirm nor deny that people die here. This topic was suggested by Carl Smith.
Thank you, Carl.
That's a fake name.
Carl.
What's your surname?
Smith.
Well, thank you, is Smith. Well, thank you Carl Smith.
So I'm just going to jump straight into the topic.
You guys have never heard of it, obviously.
No.
No, I know it well.
I'll take this one from here.
In 1966.
I've worked too long and too hard on this to get that in. 1966, you know what happened that year?
No, science won the premiership.
You were hearing your say-tat today. He wears that every day. Yeah. What is that every fucking day? Anyway, okay.
This is the story of Don Croheus, the Sunday Times golden globe race around the world.
Yes, it is fucking catchy, right?
It's a good bad name.
Okay.
I reckon they suck.
Alright, in 1966, Englishman, Francis Chichester, grading this name, became the first person to single-handedly circumnavigate the world via the Clipper Root.
The Clipper Root! Like here you ask, Jess. It's the Clipper Root!
Jess, do you want to have a guess at what the Clipper root is?
Say his name again. Oh, alright, I thought you were laughing at root, okay?
That too.
Francis Chichester.
Oh, I love it so much.
I love the shape your mouth, mate.
Shane, you got that, yeah?
Oh, you're my sister.
Chichester.
Um, Stephen, that just that.
Steven, that is Steven.
Steven, fucking Steven!
Fucking hate that dog so much.
Anyway, the Clipper Root I hear you ask, thank you.
The Clipper Root is basically the fastest continuous round the world, root from England to Australia and back again.
However, it is also one of the most dangerous passing south of the three great caves.
What?
Dave knows all about fast routes.
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
My favourite bit was, I'd well and truly moved on.
You were like, I hadn't.
I think there's a joke here.
Give me a sec. Give me a sec. I'm like, I hadn't. I think there's a joke here. Give me a sec. Give me a sec.
Fuck, root!
You're right, I am a comic genius.
This has 18 pages.
Fuck.
For context, mine normally is seven.
Alright, so it's super dangerous for you.
You go through the three great capes exposing your ship to hazards like fierce winds,
huge waves and icebergs.
The 65 year old chit chit, sir.
Captured the hearts and attention of England when he single handedly achieved the feat
in the world record setting time of nine months and one day.
He returned to 250,000 people cheering him on and a few weeks later he was even knighted
by Queen Elizabeth II for his efforts. So it was even knighted by Queen Elizabeth the second for his efforts
So it was a big deal in England at the time on his journey. He had stopped off in Sydney
So before he even returned people
That's in our country
Which is on the Clipper route
So before he even made about people all he had at the next challenge
They thought they wanted to be the first person to solo circumnavigate the world by the
clip of it without stopping at all.
That's the next challenge.
Chit Chester had been sponsored by the Sunday Times newspaper and they had unexpectedly
profited from his success.
He brought the paper Famine Glory and they had greatly increased sales with their coverage
of his travels. So 28-year-old English, Navy man and sailor Robert Knox Johnston was adamant that the first
non-stop solo circumnavigation should be completed by an Englishman and he tried to
get sponsorship from the Sunday Times.
Okay.
Well, they said no.
No.
They did not have confidence in the young man.
They didn't think that he was going to be the first person to do this, so he instead went
to the Sunday Times.
Okay.
Sunday Mirror.
Oh my god.
Clerical error.
In fact, many people came out of the woodworks and they started claiming that they would be the
first to attempt the voyage.
The Sunday Times are the problem of not knowing who to back.
Sure, they wanted to be involved with the first person to do it, but they didn't want
to put all their eggs in one basket and have some other sailor beat them
To the victory. So they ingeniously came up with a way to be associated with the first person to actually do it
They created an open competition and they made entry automatic
So anyone sailing single-handedly around the world that you would be considered in their race
So just claim everyone you're doing it you? You mind? You mind, mind.
So anyone is doing it.
I didn't even have to submit a 25 words or less.
No.
Why should you?
No.
Really?
Can never do it.
25.
How am I going to convey a story in voc motion?
My tip was a limbic.
I have won a trip to Mexico. With a limbic?
That wasn't a limbic, no.
That was a hot tip then.
The ones was a girl named Jess.
I assured her limbrics are best.
But she said no.
I don't remember the structure of a lemrex.
It's a working progress. I think I was already 25 worth.
Anyway, so they're claiming anyone is doing their thing.
And to even further hedge their bets, they decided to set up two prizes.
One was the Golden Globe trophy for the first person to sail nonstop around the world,
and secondly, they set up a 5,000-pound prize for the sailor who completed the journey in the fastest time.
So again, that's 60,000 pounds in today's money.
So now they're covered in even if multiple people completed in one year,
they get to claim the first person to do it and the fastest person.
So they've got fingers and all pies.
In all pies.
All pies.
Dave, what did you eat before the show?
I had a pie.
I did not use my finger.
How did you eat it? I honestly thought I could do that, I could not.
I couldn't do it.
Yeah, weird.
Okay.
So the only problem that comes with automatic entry is that there's no vetting process.
You're absolutely right.
And now literally anyone can compete in what is an essentially very dangerous task.
And they couldn't stop people who
weren't qualified to achieve it safely.
There's this guy in a dinghy.
Legit.
Someone put their bath in there.
Someone was just in their bath.
And the sun to times will like that.
They're doing it for us.
Ask.
Climbing it. The one concession to safety was that they are required all competitors to start between
the 1st of June and the 31st of October.
Alloy.
Scary. In order to...
Woo!
It's a spooky episode.
He mentioned the date of Halloween!
So they wanted you to go in those months in order
to pass through the treacherous southern ocean in the...
Treacherous.
And the treacherous treacherous southern ocean
in the safer period of summer.
That's the only concession.
You have to go through the dangerous bit in summer
when there's less winds.
OK. Oh, the only other rule was that the entrance had to start and finish their journey some way in the British Isles.
Start and finish. Okay, yep. No, great. Sure. That's so far you've only done two the only other rules.
Yeah. I think you're only get one the only other rules. The only other rule is you never question the rules.
Please adhere to that rule.
All in all, nine men were to take on the challenge.
A few of them were Robert Knox-Johnston,
the aforementioned English, Navy, Man, and Sailor.
South African raised Nigel Tetley.
Oh, that's also good.
Frenchman, Bernard Mortissier.
Wait. These men were all experienced sailors More Tissier? We
Are these men were all experienced sailors wanting to sail into history?
They knew what they were getting into these guys. Of course they didn't have GPS satellites or constant weather updates like people do today. What?
I don't know in fact Robert nox Johnson's weather system was a barometer from the wall of a pub
It's grabbed one and the system was a barometer from the wall of a pub. He described one.
And it also has a clock, but every time just says be a clock.
He's constantly cheesy.
What a guy.
Um, where do I write that bit?
Now, no one was surprised that these men had volunteered for the competition. They're sailors, they're hard-core. However, four days after the race was declared,
and unlikely, competitive step 4. His man-
Mother Theresa.
She was like, I got this.
She probably would have been more qualified than this man. Donald Crowhurst.
Oh, I like that. Oh, he's from the name of the show.
Yes! Woo! I reckon this is going to be linked. I reckon this is going to have something to do with it. I like that. Oh, he's from the name of the show. Yes
I reckon this is gonna be linked. I reckon this is gonna have something to do with it He's the kind of guy to sitcom that appears there rock the studio audience applaud
He's fancy. He is the fun. Stussy die. We all die, mate
Thank you, man. Sorry. Sorry to be the one have to tell you that
That look on your face.
A little cuddle.
Just gave him a hug.
Everyone saw that.
Yeah, everyone in the room saw that, but the people listening at home did not say that.
Well, that's amazing.
It's amazing.
It's amazing.
Somehow I've missed it.
Donald Crohurst, our main man, the Fonz Aureli, was born in British India in 1932.
His father worked on the Indian Railways whilst his mother was a schoolteacher.
When his father died, they moved to England and they were soon beset by financial problems.
Will death.
You people are sick.
There were soon beset by financial problems.
Oh, financial problems.
Courageously served in the armed forces when he grew up.
It was forced to resign after a rowdy evening involving a stolen car.
Ha, Matt.
Oh. Really, I don't feel anything. involving a stolen car. Matt? Oh!
I don't know, I just feel like you're the crazy party bad boy of the pun.
Oh, no doubt about that.
How many rowdy nights have you had the business stolen car?
I could count him on bloody two hands.
Oh, that's more than five.
Could count him on more than two hands.
Yeah.
You nailed it.
Well, I know, Lingo.
Well, our guy is a bit of a bad boy.
And what do all bad boys do, Jess?
That's right.
It's our shuckers.
They shucker and then start an electronics business in Bridgewater.
Found in our favorite county of Somerset.
Somerset.
Fucking love Somerset.
Somerset. I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I Anyway, um... Did a stretchman like that?
He married Claire and together they had four children.
Too many.
He married Claire and together they had three children.
Two children.
He was an engineer and designed and sold marine navigation equipment in his electronic store
Which had some success for then his business
Started to fail
Crohurst who could have best be described as a weekend sailor at this point
Decided to gain publicity for himself in his business by entering the golden globe race
I mean he's still got more experience than us, you know, like why can't judge
Anyway, go on.
Like, ah, he's only sales every weekend.
Yeah, he's still pretty good.
You said he was less likely than mother Teresa.
Mother Teresa, like a three-day weekend.
Say hello.
Three-day weekends.
My name is so far out, baby, she's out on the sea.
Shucker-locking not that's not catching on
Confident it is not catching on no, I got a thumbs up. I got a couple of shotguns
Shucker luck and let's all say it one two three
So it's almost like they'll say anything I want them to
If you're desperate enough. Yes
On the count of three days desperate one two three
Yes, he is
So our crojas the weekend sailor
We can say
With crojas the Skipper 2, the Mew, you know, and original Gilligan's Island theme song,
The Movie Star and The Rest.
There was only two more, Professor and Mary Ann, and that was just The Rest.
That's great.
That's great, all.
That's great, all.
Seriously, they sorted out, don't worry about that.
His podcast is Dave and The Rest.
And The Rest.
Anyway.
So, I'm. For her. This podcast is Dave and the rest. And the rest?
Anyway, so I...
Growhurst.
Growhurst had been inspired by Francis Chichest,
this story of sailing around the world,
and for a man who had grown up with adventure,
stories of heroes, overcoming challenges,
this seemed like a way to make his mark on the world
and at the same time gain fame, fame, fame and fortune.
He's a triple threat, fame, fame and fortune.
Yeah.
His wife Claire was supportive and told him that if he was able to raise the money for the journey, then he deserved it.
On your Claire.
I don't know.
If you, yeah, I think that's kind of starting the obvious there, Claire.
Yeah. If you're able to do this, then you can do it.
Oh, thanks, Claire. Thanks for your support.
Your dog.
That wasn't right. That wasn't right.
Uh, Crowhurst did not say that. He said, thank you.
He needed money, yes, but he didn't want to just buy a boat chest.
Oh, no, no, no, no. This engineer wanted to build his own boat.
Oh, Jesus is right. A boat that could beat the rest of the field of hardly qualified and experienced sailors.
He thought that was the one thing in getting in his way, victory. He was able to get the money and sponsorship that he needed from a caravan dealer. That's good, because you got the triple bunk and stuff.
That's a way, if I'm sailing, I want to have like a small shitty stove.
And a table, it turns into a bed.
He's not.
Not a lot of caravan is in it, aren't?
Yeah, growing up in the affluent East, we never used to caravan.
He's not sailing a caravan.
Well, I'm confused then.
The caravan dealer was Stanley Best, who was a businessman, but not experienced with
this kind of sponsorships, so he offered Crowhurst a business deal.
The deal was if Crowhurst pulled out of the race before it started, or early on, then
Crowhurst would have to buy the boat back off of him.
To afford this Crowhurst would have to buy the boat back off of him. To afford
this Crowhurst would have to sell his home and business. So basically, now he has to do
it, or he'll lose everything.
But, buddy, he's just has to start the race. I do a little ui in the bag.
Do it, do it!
You pretty much has to complete the race.
Yeah.
That's different.
Like a large.
It's quite entirely different what I thought.
Yeah.
And Corer has agreed to the deal.
He also hired Rodney Holworth from the Daily Mail
as his public relations officer.
The newspaper would have exclusive access
to him during the attempt and would regularly
report his progress.
So as well as his own hopes and dreams,
and now his family, the Caravan dealer,
and now on newspaper, are relying on his success.
The pressure is already mounting.
The boat courthouse built for the trip
was the Tinmouth Electron, a 40 foot
or 12 meter long trimoran.
Oh yeah.
I was gonna explain what that is,
but obviously you know what it is, okay?
Trimines have a go.
LAUGHTER
And obviously, I think I'm a bit of a moran is a dessert, right?
Yeah.
So I think I've put another piece set together.
That's studdlingly close.
The Trome Moran is a multi-hull, three-hull boat.
The comprises a main hull.
Oh, we've got three from.
And a triptych of hulls, if you will, yes.
Two small outer hulls on the outside,
and then the water goes in between the main one, you know? Sort of looks a bit like a big canoe,
and then two small canoes on the outside, and then they've got sticks. Basically, that's not what it is.
Where's the jacuzzi? But where's the jacuzzi? Oh, in the bunk bed.
Oh. In the bunk bed.
That sounds like porters on.
Honestly, is that true?
That is not going to work out well.
I've never been in a caravan.
At the time, this was an unproven type of yacht
for a voyage of such lengths.
The one that he just made up.
No, no, it's a style of boat, but he was just made up.
I mean, sure, it's a style of boat. Yes, the style that he just made up. No, no, it's a style of boat, but he was just made up. I mean, sure, it's a style of boat.
Yes, the style that he just came up with at the back.
It did exist, but it was experimental.
And this type of vessel appealed to him
because Trimerans have the potential
to sail much more quickly than Mono, single-held boats.
I feel like these details could have been left out.
I've written such a long report. It's full of dull boring things.
How will we ever get through it?
Oh, what I'll do is read on.
Sorry to get through these factual bits of admin.
The main, the main design.
Get to the death. Well, the main downside of this type of
boat is which I'll go off script here for is they can go fast. They're pretty reliable but if
they do fall over they are impossible to get back up. So if you're in the middle of the ocean and it falls over, you're fucked. It falls over. You guys heard about that boat that fell over, yeah?
That's why I don't go up script.
Cap size.
Cap size.
Cap size.
Don't challenge me Jess, I've got a word for everything here.
Fell over. To counter this falling over a problem, Crow has to, he planned to put an inflatable buoyancy
bag on the top of the sail, so it fell over, it would sort of deploy and put the boat back
up.
But then he ran out of time, so he decided, I'll just do it on the run.
I'll do it on the go.
I'll finish that later.
I'll finish that bit later.
No, good.
Come on, let's get behind him.
He's going to make it. it on the go. I finished that later. I finished that bit later. No good. Come on let's
get behind him, he's gonna make it. I whilst he was still getting his shit built and
ready the other man already started to leave the first man John Ridgeway left from
Ireland on June the 1st. However just 16 days later he was feeling lonely so he
uh decided to meet up with some friends so they could drop off some mail and
whilst he was reading some of the mail, which included a copy of the Sunday Times newspaper,
he read in that newspaper that he just breached the rules by getting mail from a friend.
So he was technically disqualified. He discovered that within the mail.
Cheb Laih, also, how could that name, Cheb Laih?
Cheb Laih. Oh, Cheb Laih.
Cheb Laih. Also left an early June, and although an experienced roa,
he'd even less sailing experience than Donald Crowhurst.
In fact, he'd never ever sailed a ship before.
On the day he set sail, he had friends sail in front of him
to show him the correct maneuvers that he was mirroring.
LAUGHTER
Curriculous. Good. It's no, I'm figuring it out.
So how many, he learned it all backwards then?
Yeah.
He was still.
He was a left-hander.
This feels like it's going to go well.
Robert Knox Johnson, our Englishman earlier, he left mid-June.
At the end of June, Nigel Tettley also announced he was going to be involved in his
tri-maran that he lived aboard with his wife.
Now there's two tri-marans.
And he took off.
So the Clipper route, basically, it's all the way from England, down the side of Africa,
across Australia and New Zealand, under South America, back up South America, past
Brazil and to England.
Does that make any sense?
No, you did it like a square.
So it's like, damn like this.
That makes me feel like a square.
That makes me feel like this.
And then you come back out.
Basically, it's a square.
It's not a square.
Oh, no.
All in all, it's 30,000 miles.
And at the time, people didn't know if a human being
could be alone for that long, and if a ship could survive being out there.
But what did they think would happen if someone was alone?
They didn't realize people could be alone.
No, they thought that the...
Science had to figure that out.
They thought the isolation that you could go mad, mad at sea.
I'd love it. Like mad.
Yeah. Shucker-luck in, and all right.
But of course, none, then, we're vying to prove them wrong.
Everyone's taken off meanwhile.
Donald is far from ready.
In fact, eight weeks after the first guy left,
he hadn't even begun to put his boat together yet.
Good.
A chape life was doing well.
He was actually winning the guy that had never sailed before,
but unfortunately he hit rough weather and had to pull out. So he's gone.
At the root.
Yes. He had to pull out of the root. That is very good.
Dave, do you get it?
I'll explain later. That is very good. Dave, do you get it?
I'll explain later.
I don't get it, but it was very good.
My other favorite person in this thing is the Frenchman Mortissier.
It was a bit of a fight-the-power type.
Revolution!
You're kind.
It was a real revolutionary.
And he'd already been planning on sailing around the world.
So when the Sunday Times invited him to join their race, he was horrified, seeing as a commercial
commercialization of his voyage as a violation of the spiritual ideal which had it spided
in the first place.
Oh, this guy sounds so good.
But he was convinced to join and his plan was that he would join the race and then if
he won, he would take the prize and leave without a word of thanks.
That'll show him. That is a revolution.
I forgot we were filming this when I did that.
Twice.
He's going down the barrel.
Sorry Shane.
So I'm confused genuinely. Sorry, Shane.
So I'm confused, genuinely.
Would you believe it?
Is it the first person to make it, or is it the shortest
amount of time it takes?
Two prizes.
So you get a trophy of your first one back,
and you get 5,000 pounds.
If within the year, you make it back,
and you're the fastest time.
So 10 people complete it.
You get a trophy for the first guy, and the fastest sailor
gets the five grand. So 10 people completed, you get a trophy for the first guy and the fastest sailor gets the five grand.
It's like 10 out of 10.
So that's why they can leave a different time.
And that five grand equals 110 grand.
It owes you dollars today, yeah.
Right, bloody hell.
Good stuff.
Well, I'm now really into this story.
There's a lot at stake here.
Well, this is our more TCA. The Frenchman described the voyage in his own notes.
Quote, anyone who tries it just so David, a French accent please.
I need to visualise the characters.
You're pretty good at French, you're a good...
The man of a thousand noises.
Number 604.
Was that French accent?
Yeah, I can do French.
Can you read that quite there?
Anyone who tries it?
Mm-hmm.
Wait, it's an English quote.
LAUGHTER
He's bilingual, but he still has an accent.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
Anyone who tries it to just cause the money
or prestige is going to break.
Very good.
That was pretty good.
Wait.
Now do you want to be a machine gun sounds?
No, I don't look.
If a machine gun is involved in the story, sure, I'll mimic what it would be.
He then grabbed a machine gun. LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
That's good stuff.
That's just one of them.
That's just one kind of machine gun.
Obviously, I can't do them all, but there's three or four others.
There's three or four others.
Three or four. Maybe even's three or four others.
Three or four.
Maybe even more than that, I don't know.
Read the quote again in case anybody needs it.
I'll do it.
If you don't speak French.
Anyone who tries it just for the money or the prestige is going to break.
Why else are they doing it?
Shits and gigs.
Well cut to our friend Donald Crore. Why else are they doing it? Shits and geeks?
Well cut to our friend Donald Crowe.
Crowehurst was convinced to launch from Tinmouth for the publicity launch a town which is 150 miles in the wrong direction.
So he's just added 300 miles to his trip. I love him.
Getting the ship to Tinmouth was the first outing on his ship, you know, a chance to get a feel for it, prove that he knows what he's doing.
And the trip should have taken three days.
It took two weeks.
He-he-he.
This cost invaluable getting my shit ready time.
And now he was really under the pump.
Before he set off, he was frequently interviewed
and you can watch press stuff with him.
And the press followed his preparation carefully.
He said to a TV crew, quote, not in French. I think
one psychology has to be fairly stable and one has to be constantly aware of the risks one is running.
One does, doesn't one. One must. Oh, one must. On camera in front of the press, you always gave
a cool calm collected vibe, always bright and cheerful, but underneath. Who's that? He knew.
but underneath, who's that among you? Who's that among you?
Climbham, Climbham, Brighton Jeevil, who's that?
Who do you want me to say?
Jesse.
Jess, you Jess.
Stop it!
Yeah, oh, also wasn't sure if she was having a crack at one of us.
I'm never sure.
Jess, is this also you, but underneath?
Obviously, I think.
That's her. That is her big time. Well, underneath, he,. Yeah, that's a big time.
Well, underneath, he, slash yes, knew he was underprepared for what lay ahead of him,
but when the camera turned off, his face dropped.
Ah, yeah.
What do you like when the camera turns off?
I'm so sad.
Ah, it's the highlight of my week.
No, it's okay, I'm fine.
Ish, anyway.
You know, I've got a good, the story really picks up here because when the boat was finally
considered ready, as is customary, they broke a bottle of champagne against the hull.
Yes.
Supposed to be a way to question the new ship for good luck, say, probably, you know.
However, rather ominously, the bottle which was tied to a ribbon and then smashed into
the side of the boat didn't break.
Donald had to smash it by hand.
Many sailors were considered this to be a terribly bad
sign. Not Donald! Oh the day before the launch Donald reportedly sat trembling repeating, the boat
isn't ready, the boat isn't ready. I'd say a lot of sailors say that's a bad sign.
And Dave said we knew nothing about sailing.
Uh, he went to his, uh, he went to his sponsor and he went to his press person and said,
it's not ready, I can't go.
And they said, it's October 30th.
Tomorrow it's Halloween, haven't got your costume, and you have to leave tomorrow or you'll
have to mortgage your house.
Shit.
So you had to go.
Well, this is a sexy nurse. Oh, shit!
So he had to go.
Well, in a way, he did wear a yellow one piece suit when he left.
I don't know what, it's not typical sailing gear, but that's what he left.
His wife and kids accompanied him out to his ship, and he set sail for what could be a year long journey.
However, he failed
to even leave the harbour. He had to be towed back in and finally left a few hours later.
Fuck! He's the best!
Just a couple of weeks into his journey, Crowhurst deficiencies as the sailor and the unprepared
crafts faults were already starting to show.
In the rush to get crucial material repair materials, he'd actually left them behind in tin
now.
In the rush to get him, he left them.
Yeah.
That, yeah, that's good.
That's how rushed he was.
A lot of sailors will say that is a very good sawn.
He's getting,achnese improving.
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He was under no illusions that the craft was unfit
for the condition tea would be facing.
Nevertheless, he continued. By this time, five of the other sailors had already been
disqualified or retired due to the conditions, leaving just four boats left in the race.
We've got Englishman, Robert Knox-Johnston, Frenchman-Morticia, the badass who gives no fucks,
Tettley and his own triumphant round, the one that's on his houseboat, basically, and
Crowhurst now bringing up the rear. Crowhurst has been given a camera to Documenti's journey and on film he
put on a very brave face, but off camera in his diary he told a very different story.
He recalled how hatches were already leaking, screws were falling out, and the engine
compartment electrics and electrics were already flooded. He wrote quote, this bloody boat is falling to pieces.
And this was in the calm ocean, the star bit.
And in that, but he could bail out the compartments
with buckets by hand,
but once he got into the turbulent southern ocean
where giant waves would constantly beat down on him,
he knew bailing by hand would be impossible.
Impossible.
That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong. Simpsons?
Did she in scratchy land? Is the classic possible I go wrong? Don't not
knew this and wrote quote. Don't not knew this and we are out of bought a bought
license plate. My all-time favorite Simpsons joke. Anyway, there's no time man. There's no time.
My son is also named born. No, come along, born. I'm sorry, were you talking there's no time. My son is also named Bore.
No, come along, Bore.
I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
No, my son is also named Bore.
There's no time, Dave, there's no time.
Don't know that it would be impossible to hand bail,
and he wrote, quote,
as it stands with the boat in its current condition,
my chances of survival would I think not be better than 50-50.
Woo! Yeah! I like those arts!
I was a lonely journey for these guys so they didn't have proper satellite radio or anything
so they basically sometimes they could get through to telephones via a much shitter radio
or through a morse code cables.
So there's not much contact going on there.
Just yell.
I think he was doing a lot of that.
So why is some male was a no-go,
but you're allowed to phone people.
Yeah.
What's that about?
Again, rule three, never question the rules.
Good point.
You did say that clearly, didn't you?
That cost us an audience, man.
Yeah. I love rules as well.
We all love rules. Oh there's some guys over there. Do you want me to direct this towards you
for a little bit? You get a little face time? It's douche. It's douche. It's from blubbing the Sorry, Dusha. What episode were you on again?
Ryan Gosling.
Ryan Gosling. One of my favourites.
What a guy. Fakus. Fakus. There's no talk.
Dusha, just one more. Let's catch up later.
We're on the on page 11. Come on.
That's pretty good. You're doing alright.
Just one month into the...
Put it. No, Xamit.
Sorry, that's Xamot.
You don't know him.
Not from our pod, you know him from his pod, though.
And he's... and he stands, pans, pans in.
Oh, that was...
That was fun to say.
All right, anyway, let's move on.
Xamot's had his time.
Look, I'm trying to give him a bit of FaceTime, Matt.
Come on.
Just one month into the journey, guys.
First right of giving up. But he was worried he would be ruined financially and
also he'd given them a bit of face time as well. He was worried he would be
ruined financially and also he was worried he would be a laughing stock.
Okay, so, Crojas. If he went, this is his thinking now is, if he went forward, he might die.
If he went back, he'll be ruined.
No great options.
Go to the side, obvious.
Actually, what he did.
Yes.
Plancy, which is lie, lie and say he was doing really, really well.
Okay, is that sideways?
Yep.
After he's very slow-studied, he contacted his publicist and said things had suddenly picked
up and he travelled 243 nautical miles in one day, which was a new world record. Before this, he'd been averaging 60
nautical miles a day.
It's just, oh, I found the accelerator.
No!
It's not clear what his plan was at this point.
He may have just intended to do this for, to save a bit of face.
Basically, I didn't win, but I said a record.
That's pretty good.
And then retire early on.
People back at home, including Francis Chichester, who had already done this journey, were very skeptical.
But the publicists in the Daily Mail were big into it, so, oh, a bit of shun it.
They were well into it. They started factored himself.
There's something shining.
The Daily Mail were loving it, so they just started publishing their sensational story, sort of making Donald into a bit of a hero.
Now, Crowhurst, who may have planned on retiring, suddenly he's the underdog now smashing
world records, and is on track to possibly even win this thing.
Everyone thinks he can win now.
Which for him may have been a bit of a backfire because now he has the chance of winning people are expecting more from him again. Also,
now he couldn't retire and pull into port because when they, because then they would work
out, he wasn't where he said he was and they would know he was a liar. So he is the king
of painting himself into a corner. He's amazing at it. He should just say he's done the whole
thing one and a half times.
Yeah.
He's like, I was having fun.
I just kept going.
Not that far off what he does.
He decides to continue with the deception.
He's, and he kept two logs, one with his actual navigation,
where he was, and a second log in which he could
enter fake descriptions of his round the world voyage.
But he's making up like it.
He's writing a novel now.
The creation of this fake log was an incredibly intricate process
involving the need to make up convincing descriptions of weather
and sailing conditions in a different part of the world
as well as complex reverse navigation.
So he's absolutely bullshitting out his ass.
Oh, I'm shitting out his ass.
Yes.
The Australian vernacular is. Oh, wow. You, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, with where he said he was. So, he started to send only cryptic messages back home
in order to try and hide his real position
and not give away that he was lying.
Meanwhile, the beaver only eats at Midnight.
Seriously, the publicists would get it
and they couldn't even publish a story
because they'd be like, what the fuck is he talking about?
Babies?
Midnight?
Meanwhile, his three opponents were doing real well. Frenchman Mortissier was making great speed.
It was near New Zealand, nearly turning around.
Oh, nearly on the second half.
And Robert Knox-Johnston was basically on the home stretch.
They're doing real good.
So, Cros has came out with a new plan, which is not that far off going to the side.
He would wait off the coast of South America long enough
that when his opponents came back past,
he would slip in behind them.
That's...
I'm just saying he'd done the whole thing.
That's so smart.
That's like, when we used to do fun runs at high school.
Yes!
He'd catch the bus through half of it.
So you just jump on the bus and do that leg
and then jump on a bus and then cut through a park.
Yeah.
Wow, how did you run 10Ks in three and a half minutes?
Well, we've been working out.
I remember doing a lap-a-thon in my primary school.
Did you ever do those?
Yeah, that's where we went.
I don't think they called them fun runs.
Fun runs, you know.
Well, I bet they had this long table of teachers that would stamp your arm as you went
past and how many stamps you got, you got people would pledge money to you.
And you'd go at the start of the line and be like, thank you.
And then somewhere in the middle, and be like, I did record number of laps.
I think just just admitted to committing fraud.
Charity fraud.
I mean, fraud that helps mean, well, it is fraud that helps charity.
Yes, okay.
Well, that's good.
I raised more money.
You do.
Yeah.
So now we're just hanging out off the coast of South America,
just staying put for a while, to try and buy
himself some time so he could lie low.
Crojas reported that due to generator problems,
he was shutting off his radio for some time.
So he can't talk to anyone.
But now he had no communication with the outside world and he was completely alone.
Frenchman Morticia was sailing extremely quickly and he was on track to finish the race and do so
in the fastest time. He was told that a big reception was waiting for him in England
and that he would be escorted back to France for an even bigger reception.
But being alone at sea, this badass, Morticia,
a don't know what I'm thinking.
Throughout his voyage, he'd been developing
an increasing disgust with the excesses of the modern world.
The plan...
The plan celebration seemed to him to be yet another example
of brash materialism.
He decided...
He decided to just...
They want to throw me a party. You do go French. I think the secret to French is start with eh.
That's weird.
Yeah, and with a bumble.
Well, I would.
So what did he do?
He decided to just continue sailing.
He left just six weeks away from home saying, quote,
my intention is to continue the sailing. He left just six weeks away from home saying,
quote,
My intention is to continue the voyage, nonstop towards the Pacific Islands,
where there is plenty of sun and more peace than in Europe.
Please do not think I am trying to break a record.
A record is a very stupid word it's seen.
I am continuing nonstop because I am happy it's seen, perhaps,
because I want to save my soul. Fuck you to everyone else, he's gonna win and he decides to keep going around the world.
What a guy!
So, sales off into the sunset.
But now he's out of the race, leaving three people left, Robert Knox-Johnston, Tetley,
and Crowhurst.
So it's cool, Crowhurst can just come third and be happy, that's what he wants to do.
So it sounds like shiny. Oh. can just come third be happy that's what he wants to do so something shiny oh
disaster struck for crowhurst is hanging out when uh a float split which is a
major thing that you know a bit of damage to his boat so he needed to make some
repairs that he couldn't do with sea so he quickly darted into port at Argentina
I hope he wouldn't be seen by anyone because remember he's supposed to be like in
the middle of the ocean he fixed his his boat real quick and went back out to sea and no one noticed.
Oh, he's incredible.
So good.
And then he sailed a little bit south to the bottom of South America so he could film the
big waves down there and say, look, I got film of the big waves, I saw it.
I saw it.
And finally after four months of isolation, Croyha's fake position of the coast of South
America matched up with where he really was.
So he snuck back into the race behind Tettley
and radioed home.
This caused a media sensation.
They haven't heard from him in four months,
because it looked like Robert Knox-Johnston
who'd left well before the others.
He was gonna win the race,
but Tettley and Donald Crojas were both in the running
for the fastest time.
Remember, Crojas, by this way,
this is a part of his plan is he wants to come second
because he figures the winner's log book
will be scrutinized because they're the winner,
but if he just comes second,
no one's gonna give a shit.
So no one will even bother checking,
fact checking it.
So he'll still be a hero, he'll get his mortgage back,
but no one will look at the log book.
That's his plan, he wants to come second.
Okay.
Got a bit of Bradbury feel about this.
OK.
Tently informed that he might be robbed of the fastest time
prize started pushing harder, despite the fact
that his boat was having significant problems already.
He made major repairs at sea in an attempt
to stop the port, hull of his trim around falling off,
and he kept racing.
A few days later on April 22nd, Robert Nox Johnson arrived home,
and he won the trophy.
First guy home.
Well done.
Also, the whole time I'm thinking Nox Johnson sounds like a nickname for a penis.
LAUGHTER
So, the whole time I've just been thinking of a giant penis.
LAUGHTER
We're sailing up on it.
No, we're just thinking of what a giant penis. I'm just sailing up. Wait, were you actually going to be what kind of penis?
Yes.
Well, I mean, nox jo- I mean, what does that say to you?
I don't know.
I'm just telling you how I feel.
Oh.
What?
That's a thank you for opening up, Jess.
That's nice to be lead in there.
In your heart, I've been out there.
Robert Nox Johnson, the penis guy.
He completed his journey in 312 days
and was welcomed home to hero.
So he's the first guy here.
This leaves Tettley and Croyhurst battling out
for the fastest time of the fastest.
Only one of them wants to lose.
No, fuck that's approximately.
And the other one wants to win.
It feels like it should be an easy battle.
Yeah.
They should have just communicated.
I agree.
Croyhurst sent a message home saying,
there's no chance of me overtaking Tettley.
Sort of just trying to like, you know,
make everyone expect he's gonna come second
so no one gets upset.
But disaster struck.
The crazy irony was that Tetley was so worried
about being overtaken by a man who secretly didn't want
to overtake him, that he pushed his boat so hard
that one morning during a storm
his boat started to sink.
Okay, at least it didn't fall over.
It didn't fall over.
It didn't fall over.
Tently had to abandon ship and radio for help and he was rescued from a lifeboat.
Don't be disappointed that he didn't do it.
They did name a brain of tea after him.
That's a consolation.
Yeah, I think he was dunked into the water. So Tettley's out. Donald is the only one left and
given the speeds he'd been reporting and telling everyone he's doing, he's almost guaranteed to come
home with the fastest time. That's what everyone thinks. Fastest bullshit time. Excited back at home, they radioed him to tell him of this good news that
Tateley was out. And he's going,
oh, okay.
Crew has started to panic.
He slowed his pace to a crawl, aimlessly floating in the ocean.
His main radio failed shortly after hearing this news and he was plunged back into
solitude. So before he pretended his radio didn't work,
now he actually wants to talk to people,
especially his wife.
He can't talk to anyone.
He spends weeks trying to repair the radio,
trying to contact his wife Claire.
And on June 22nd, he was again finally able to transmit
and receive in Morse code.
Basically, he was told the exact opposite
of what he wanted to hear.
His publicist was telling him about all this indication
right to the story that that had already been sold.
And now he's going to be welcome to him a hero with over 100,000 people
expected to meet him on the show.
He was not going to be able to avoid the spotlight and scrutiny
that would expose him as the fraud he was.
So they're all like, yes!
And he's like, no!
Unable to see a way out of his situation,
Crowhurst spent most of his days writing out his philosophy and his diaries,
attempting to find an escape in metaphysics.
Over the next eight days, he wrote 25,000 words about God and the devil.
He wrote, quote,
I have become a second generation cosmic being.
I am conceived in the womb of nature in my own mind,
in the womb of the universe.
Basically, the isolation and the,
I mean, you could say the isolation
and the impossibility of the situation was getting to him.
You could say.
He could say.
His final entry was on July 1st 1969.
He wrote, it is finished, it is finished, it is finished.
It is the mercy, it is the end of my game.
The truth has been revealed.
Donald Kroher's 10-Mouth Electron was discovered by a cargo ship floating in the Atlantic Ocean
nine days later.
Donald was no longer aboard.
It is assumed he jumped off and drowned
So it's kind of a mystery episode
I know he did that's that it hard at the end
You people are sick
There was fist bumping.
No, he's...
At first it seemed like a horrible accident, but on Discovery of his diary, he's two logs,
the real one and the fake one, and his video camera, it showed what had really happened
aboard the electron.
The true story of his...
So that was a big story, everyone was like, oh, he obviously just fell off at first,
that's really thought the newspaper was published.
The true story of his deception was revealed a few weeks later when his press agent Rodney
Hallworth, who sounded like a bit of a scumbag in this story, sold his logbooks to a London
newspaper that caused a sensation.
Oh, now we'll play.
Robert Knox Johnson, who'd been the only man to complete the race, therefore won the trophy
and the 5,000 pounds for the fastest time, but he donated the money to Crowhurst's family
after the tragedy.
Ohhhh!
What a great guy!
Now I feel bad for thinking of him as a giant penis!
Well, he wasn't a dick at all!
Nothing wrong with a big penis.
Right?
Are you looking at me? Yes, I've got
I hated where that went
Right so um so that that is basically the story the year this year in 2018 for the 50th anniversary of the race
19 tailors will again attempt the Clipper route in just two months from today on June 14th
They're off Wow cool obviously It's a lot safer now because if they get inth, they're off. Wow, cool.
Obviously, it's a lot safer now,
because if they get in trouble,
they just end up a GPS thing and so on.
Comes a rescue, then.
So wait, I mean, I try it now.
Is there a more boring sport in the world than sailing?
Yes, I've been watching a lot of the Commonwealth games.
No.
APPLAUSE
Which one is it?
Which one? Long jump.
What?
No, that... The human beings jump eight eight meters and they think they're fucking rock stars
Seriously before every one of the jumps they do this to the crowd they go
And I'm like fuck off
Do a real sport
That's my thoughts
Also, real mixed gymnastics can get fucked.
Oh!
High jumps sick, though.
Shucker-luckin!
I was the year 7 high jump champion at my school, 2003. No big deal.
You're right, it was not.
You're right, it was not. LAUGHTER
Over the decades, Donald Crow has been inspired
many movies and documentaries,
a 2006 documentary called Deep Water was Released,
which I've seen is very fantastic.
You want to...
It's very fantastic.
LAUGHTER
And that's been Margaret and David at the movies.
LAUGHTER
Four fantastics out of five, fantastic.
LAUGHTER LAUGHTER I'm just trying to make it my own.
It was very fantastic.
In 2017 two different feature films were released about him. That's too many in a year.
One was called Crowhurst, starring Justin Celan Selinger, which was overshadowed heavily by the other
one, because it was called the Mercy, and it starred Colin Firth.
So there you go.
He actually looks a lot like Colin Firth, don't know Crowhurst.
So that's because, haven't seen anyone seen that?
The Mercy?
No.
No, so I've checked with everyone.
No.
No.
Oh, now to finish off, would you like some fun facts?
Do you want to guess what my fun facts are about?
Buts!
They're about crows!
Buts and crows!
To be honest, I thought this was going to be fun fun fun fun, then he died and everyone was going to get bummed out.
And I'd bring it back with some fun facts, but you guys were all so pumped when he died.
But anyway this is fun facts we'll get to this.
Number one, crows are very smart, so smart that some zoologists admiringly call them feathered
apes.
In fact, I mean they're not feathered apes, that's stupid.
In fact, proportionally to the size of their bodies,
some crows have larger brains than humans.
LAUGHTER
Was that fun?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, the apes is fun.
The apes is a bit fun.
Now, that's a cool band name.
Hey, whereby, do you have any, like, explosions being done, mate?
You got anything more fun than that for fun facts to see?
Yeah, I've got two more.
They are so smart.
Okay.
Oh!
Well, this is really building it up now.
Are they so smart they can understand traffic lights?
In Japan, crows take walnuts and drop them onto the road waiting for cars to run them over to crack them open. The reason they really get
run over is they've worked at what green and red traffic light means and they
only squirt when it's safe to do so.
And final facts!
And final facts! Hang on.
This one's my good friend, Matty Stu.
The Adelaide Crosse of one twice as many premierships as Matts team.
Despite having played in the league, 93 years longer than the crumbs.
That is not fun.
Thank you. Brittle facts.
That is the end of the report.
Thank you so much.
Jennifer coming out. Pack this ass. I want to keep everybody.
Thank you so much.
That was great.
I was worried that was going to be depressing, but great.
What a great, a lot of fun.
Thank you.
You guys have a good time.
Great.
I mean, I answered before you, just because I was like, I don't want to
pressure them into this and I do. Sorry. Sorry about that.
Thank you so much for coming out.
Can we have a big round of applause for the European beer cafe?
If you have any of this here, Jeremy Webman-san,
Pierre Caputlin, on the shirts and on the camera, Shane Dunlop,
thank you so much. Thanks to Kyle Chandler for organizing
this venue for us.
Do you guys have anything else you want to say?
We always forget, but we are selling t-shirts.
Oh yeah.
And Ristis, you're welcome.
I'm pleased.
And just come say hi.
Yeah, come say hi.
Also, we have to also be upstairs too.
So if there's, you know, anyway, there's too much admin.
We'll be there.
Thanks guys.
Good bye. And we'll be there! Thanks guys! Goodbye! Bye! Well, there it is. Three episodes down at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
One more to come up this weekend.
We've only got a few more tickets left at the time of recording.
I think it's about six or something.
So maybe there are some left if you are hearing it on the day it comes out.
This Saturday at 4.30, the European beer cafe, we'd love to have a great crowd there.
Before us is plumbing the Death Star and I believe Jess and I are both going to be
guests on that this week. So it's going to be a real bumper of a podcast afternoon at
the European Beer Cafe and it was so cool to meet so many of you afterwards. A lot of
people stuck around and got some photos and bought some t-shirts and stuff. We met
people from the US or people from all over the shop there. That was really really
cool. I signed a young guy Dave or David's cast. We all did. He had a broken arm, so that was an experience we've never collectively
signed a cast before, but yeah, it was really, really cool to meet so many of you. And
of course, it's the time of the program to think the people that support the show at patreon.com
slash do go on, do go on pod. And of course, the people that support the show gets rewards in
Exchange and this month we've started doing two bonus episodes a month for
Those people so if you want to hear more of our show every single month just go to
patreon.com slash do go on pod and we'd also like to thank some Patreon
Supporters right here right now now as I said at the end of that episode in a
Couple of months the golden globe race 2018 is taking place, the 50th anniversary of that crazy, crazy race.
The race is limited to 30 competitors, a number of whom have already pulled out.
So there's only 19 people left.
And I'm going to thank four Patreon supporters now and each give them a sailor that will
represent them.
And the highest-placing sailor will win the do-go-on Golden Globe trophy.
And as a fictional trophy, it will not mail your trophy,
but you get to claim that as a petriot and supporter.
And I'll also give you a fact about where you live.
These are the four people who are thanking this week.
I would like to thank, first of all,
from Christchurch in New Zealand, Josh Monson.
Thank you so much, Josh, for your support.
I hope you like golf, because did you know
there are more than 40 golf courses
within a 90-minute drive of your city.
There you go.
That sounds like a lot.
I haven't compared that to any other cities, but it seems like a lot.
Your racer is named Ari Wig.
He's a 58-year-old man from Norway, a professional seamen engineer, and you just would be laughing
if she was here and I said seamen, I'll do that for her.
And you ought to surveyor with five decades of sailing experience.
I reckon he is in with
a chance of taking out the golden globe. So Ari Wig. Next person to thank, I would like
to thank for their support, Travis Alexander. Travis Alexander, a frequent poster on the
planet broadcasting great mates, good to have you supporting the show too, Travis. He's
from Gulfport in Mississippi. Mississippi, a place I've never been, but would love to go on our American tour.
One day is home to both the world's largest shrimp.
That is a physical shrimp.
I believe it is actually kept in a museum there.
I don't know if you've been there, Travis.
And the world's largest cactus plantation.
What a state.
Now your racer is Susie Goodall.
Susie Goodall, she's 28 years old from the UK.
It's been sailing since the age of three. So she's probably pretty good. Her boat is the DHL starlight. She's the only female
sailor still in the event. So good luck to Travis and Suzy. Next up, I'd like to thank
from London, Hannah Dathorn. Hello, Hannah, thank you so much for supporting the pod. According
to Buzzfeed, before the statue of Nelson was placed on the top of the 17-foot tall column
Intrafelger Square. It was 1842. The 14 stone maasons that made it had dinner on top.
Amazing. There you go. Your racer is Kevin Fairbrother. A 50-year-old fireman from Perth in Western Australia.
He's climbed Mount Everest three times, so he's a pretty
capable dude.
So good luck to Kevin and Hannah.
And finally this week I would like to thank from Brisbane right here in Australia in Queensland.
Kajal Chalton.
Thanks so much Kajal.
Definitely winner of the best name this week.
Kajal Chalton, here's a fact from 10 historical facts every Brisbane resident should know.
Taken from the Brisbane Times.
Kajal, did you know that Brisbane City Botanic Gardens
is home to the world's first cultivated
macadamia nut tree, which still stands today.
I didn't know that.
I didn't need to know that, but now all of us know that.
Your representative in the 2018 Golden Globe Race
is Igor Zaretsky from Russia. Also the winner of
the best name out there on the waves. In 2010 he won the Jester Challenge single-handed transatlantic
race, a feat that won him Russia's Yotsman of the Year title. So good on you, Igor and Kajal.
I wish you luck. I'm not sure who's going to take out, maybe all four of them will crash out like
Owl. Good friend Nigel Tettley did on the ocean in the report there, but you never know one of them
might win and then you get the do-go-on Golden Globe Petruon Trophy. You can check out their profiles
and everyone racing if you want to read out more about your people or anyone is interested in the
race at goldengloberace.com. Goldengloberace.com. I'll be watching.
It's gonna be fun to see how they go.
I know, obviously, gonna be a lot easier.
I talked about them having GPS and stuff these days,
but it's still a dangerous and treacherous way thing to do.
All right, that's the end of this week's episode.
Thanks again for everyone that came to the live show.
Hopefully we'll see some more people this Saturday.
And until next week, I will say thank you and goodbye.
This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network.
Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts
from our great mites.
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