Do Go On - 132 - The Drowning of Natalie Wood

Episode Date: May 2, 2018

One of the most tragic and mysterious Hollywood deaths was the drowning of Natalie Wood. This week we look at her early life as a child star as well as her tragic death... which the boys had no idea about in the first place. You can also support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes at www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSuggest a topic: https://dogoonpod.com/submit-a-topic/Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natalie_Woodhttp://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/natalie-woods-1981-drowning-investigated-as-suspicious/news-story/4ff84fa30c8d81b4f2ab37ece387a3b1https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiVhT1MpC8chttps://www.biography.com/people/natalie-wood-9536320http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/hollywood-mystery-what-really-happened-the-night-natalie-wood-died/news-story/ec4c61c4464354150ef2f2e12caf8299 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

No, I don't know what happens from here. I don't listen to our theme. Dave talks. Now, I think it just goes back to the piano bit. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, and then you go. Hello and welcome to another episode of the podcast called Do Grow On. We are back in the studio, baby. My name is Dave Warnocky, and in the studio with me is Jess and Matt.

Hello. Hello. Isn't it great to be back. I was going to say indoors. We've been doing a lot of outdoor park gigs. Parkour gigs. Oh, yeah. I'm puffed.

But I'm ripped. And rad. Yeah. Puffed, ripped, rat. And buff. I'm so cool now. Park or cool, which is a different kind of cool. Park cool.

Park cool. I think the only way to make it cool is to pronounce it as I did for about five years is park hour. Park hour. Oh dear. Oh dear. Park hour. Guys, I'm just going to go do some park hour. That didn't get my peers respect.

Weird. But then I said parkour. Suddenly they were on board with my lifestyle choices. And suddenly, you looked down. Yeah, and you're wearing a cool leather jacket. Oh, my, yeah, looking down. I was wearing around my waist. A leather condom?

Leather jacket. Yeah, I call condoms leather jackets. Oh, I don't like that at all. Because safe sex is cool. Safe sex is cool. Thank you. But they shouldn't be leather. Okay.

Beg to differ. Because there's... Different kind of skin. Come on. I know, this is gone awry real quick. Yeah, real quick. But it is nice to be back in the stupid old studio. It is good to be back.

That's not a derogatory term. We're not saying the studio is stupid and old. That is the name of the... I mean, it's more of a coincidence. The production company that we are part of. Yes. Well, it's good to be back. But I honestly had so much fun of those live shows over the last month.

They were. Yeah, so much fun. I've enjoyed all of them, to be honest. I'm so sorry. Those last four were fucking sick. I'm so pumped to do more live shows. Yeah, absolutely. They were absolutely, they were awesome.

Yeah, people were so nice. The crowds were into it and up for it straight from the start, which just makes it so much, you know, easy to have fun. Thanks for everyone that came out. We did film them as well, which were sort of releasing on... Yeah, we're definitely releasing a few of them publicly and we might hold some of them for Patreon. I haven't really figured that out.

Yeah. I think they should go to the Patreon supporters first. Certainly. Anyway I know some people don't like listening to the live ones But we make a lot of effort To get it sounding really good So if you're afraid of going to listen to some crappy live recordings

It's not like that at all It sounds great, sweet audience Yeah Good vibes So go back and the reports were all really interesting as well I reckon they were four of our best reports from this year Yeah very varied but a lot of death Which the audience loved

They loved it Literally cheering for death. And we've got a new thing where we're going to try and get into the episodes quicker and the reports quicker in the studio episodes. Okay, yep, good point. But before we do, I'd love to plug my love show in Sydney on the 12th of May. And you can get a discount code if you go to buy the tickets at Matt Stewartcomedy.com

slash gigs. Fug. Every time. Not fuck. Don't put fuck at the end there. Just gigs. Slash gigs. And use the code.

do go on. You just have to follow a link there. It'd be so good to see you there in Sydney. But Jess, what's the question to get us onto a topic here today? I'm glad you asked, Matthew. My question for you, gentlemen, is whose real name is Natalia Nikolovna Zakarenko? Oh, I like these ones because I know all the ones I'm thinking like, Elton John's got a different name, but I don't think it's that. Okay. Narrow it down early.

That's interesting. I will confirm nor deny. What about like the Blue Power Ranger? Blue Power Ranger. I don't think that was their birth name. Blue Power Ranger. Good point. Is that a blue one?

Is it not the Blue Power Ranger? Is it Natalie Portman? It is not Natalie Portman. The way she said it is, may you think that was the end of the comments. It's not Natalie Portman. It is what I would say if it was Natalie Portman, but it's not. It's a Natalie. Oh, Natalie Bassingthwaite.

It is not Natalie Bassingthwa. Although she comes up in this, weirdly. What? Natalie Imbrulia. Not Natalie in Brulia. Not Australian. Not related to neighbours at all. Not related to neighbours.

Were you kidding about Bassingthwaite coming up? No. How is that possible? I know. Who is an Australian singer? What are the odds of that? Okay. I'm trying to think of some more Natalie's, I know.

So we were mentioning before how our live shows had a lot of death in them. This one has a death as well. Is it Natalie? A rather famous death. Princess Diana. No. Her name was Diana. I'm fairly certain.

And this one's name's Natalie. Thinking actress. I was not thinking of a famous Natalie. What's Kidman's name? Nicole. Nicole. And she's not dead. Okay.

So an American. American. Natalie Bassing Swate. Again. Imagine if you changed your name to Bassingstwaite. I can't say it. It's a shocker. You're saying it.

It's fascinating, though you want me to tell you? Is she all related to the rogue twaders? The rogue twasers, no. What about an actress who famously drowned? Jeff Buckley. Do you drown? Yeah, he did. Went for a dip.

Did he? Caught up in a... Why didn't I know that? That's weird. A boat's... I just assumed drugs. Very rock and roll. They might have been both.

They've been drinking, I believe. Okay, great. So was this Natalie? Actually, I think he was fully clothed as well. It was hard to swim when you close. If you're not sure. Can you give me a letter? This must be fucking tedious.

Yeah, yeah, let's just say. Just give it to us. Do you want the letter? No, have the letter. You might get it. W. No. White.

What's this? Wood. Wall. Natalie Wood. Don't know who that is. You don't know Natalie Wood? Was she from Pop Sal season two? Yeah.

Was she from Scandalas? So you don't know. If you don't know who, that means you don't know the story. No. Oh, that's exciting. I thought you would know. Can I ask if it's got anything to do with a guy from Austin Powers? Robert Wagner?

Yeah. Yes. Okay. That's all I know. But I don't know. I couldn't remember if he was in Austin Powers or not. Was he? Number two.

Right. It was the original number two, I think. Anyway, I like how Dave doesn't know and I only know. Yeah, this is great. I would have thought you would have known this one. Oh, excellent. Okay, this is exciting because this is a pretty famous case. So I'm...

I feel like an idiot over here. Yeah. I'm, that's what I'm thinking. I'm implying. That's what I'm implying. Not related. Not related. Because her last name is Zaharenko.

Oh, of course. And wood. And then wood. Okay, so I'll tell you, I'll tell you firstly, this was suggested by Henry. And what he said, his topic was the drowning of Natalie Woods. Spoilers. Sorry, I figured you'd know that because, again, very famous case. Well, you didn't know Jeff Buckley drowned, so.

But I knew he's dead. Okay. And I knew he existed. I feel a loss because I've discovered this woman exist and then I immediately lost her. Yeah. We actually lost her and then you discovered her. Yeah, that's harder.

God, reality's tragic, isn't it? Like, I knew, I think I knew before I heard Jeff Buckley music that he had died. So when I, you know, loved his music, I was like, oh, well, at least I know he's dead. I don't have to now find that out and be sad, you know? I'm not like Googling like, I wonder if he's touring Australia soon. Oh, my God.

It's like they say it's better to have lost and loved than never to have lost at all. No. Is that Descartes? I think that was Descartes. It was one of the carts. Aaron Carter. Aaron Carter. Sorry, I always confuse those two.

Descartes and Aaron Carter. Okay. So Natalia, Nikovina Zakharanko was born on the 20th of July, 1938. She was born in San Francisco to Russian and Ukraine. Ukrainian immigrant parents. Her mother was Maria and her father was Nikolai. Good names. Nikolai is a good name.

Nikolai Devonko. Oh, great tennis player. Is that who her dad was? No. Nikolai quite a common name. Huh. But also Devedenko? The tennis player, yes.

Wow. That is fascinating. Oh boy, I've lost you early. There's so many coincidences in this story. Nikolai was a son of two. Ukrainians from Kharkiv, which was then part of the Russian Empire. And Nicola was, sorry, and Maria was born in the Russian Far East. As a child, Nikola...

China. Well, that comes into it later. As a child, he immigrated with his mother and two brothers to Montreal and then later to San Francisco, where he worked as a labourer and a carpenter. The city by the bay, the city that never sleeps. No Isn't that London

I get it all switcheroo firing on all cylinders I cannot I cannot see how this is coming back to Bath and Slade I know I know

Good luck to you Jess Good luck I'm going to blow your fucking minds Fun fact at the end or something Nah Early Anyway How is that possible

I'll tell you later. Decades before she was born. Amazing. Natalia's mother, Maria, had moved to China with her mother after the death of her father. There you go. I predicted that as well. He said that. And in China, Maria married a guy called Alexander Tatulov.

The tennis player. And had a daughter, Olga, in 1927. Now, somewhere between 1927 and 1938, couldn't find a lot of information. Maria ended up in America and married Natalie's father, Nicolaia. I don't know. There was a first marriage. She already had a daughter, Olga. Right, right, right.

In China. In China. And then somehow ended up in America. Love it. It's great. I did multiple Googles to try and find what happened there. Nothing. In her youth, Maria had dreamed of becoming an actress or a ballet dancer,

which were ambitions she passed on to her middle daughter, and Italia. A bit of a forewarning about Maria here. Big old stage mum. Oh, tiger mom. Oh, yeah. She is terrified. Look hot little woman. Whatever I said last week.

Look hot a young lady. Oh, yeah. Natalia or Natasha, she was often referred to by her family. Confusingly. Because it's like the Russian version. Natalia isn't Russian enough. Natasha. So she's Natalia, she's Natasha, she's a lot of things.

She's hip, she's in. Get with the program, people. She later said, my mother used to tell me that the cameraman who pointed his lens out at the audience at the end of the Paramount Newsreel was taking my picture. I'd pose and smile like he was going to make me famous or something. I believed everything my mother told me.

Natalia was noticed by members of her film crew during a shoot in downtown Santa Rosa. Sounds like her mum wasn't lying after all. Yeah, well, when she sort of got into acting some studio execs, some big wigs, your type, Dave. Sydney Shineberg. Sydney Shinebergs. Dave does wear big wigs.

Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? It's weird. He's got hair. He's got that hat hair. From the wig. From the wig. This isn't natural. Only privately he wears a wig.

It never goes down in public. Take the wig off, but I don't adjust my hair. I just let that wig hair. That's what I do. I wear a helmet at all times. And then when I leave the house, I take off my helmet. I've got a real sweaty top and then it puffs out of the ears. Most people don't know that 90% of accidents, accidents happen within the home.

So that's why you should always wear a helmet at home. Yes. Just in case. In the bed. I've never fallen out of bed. Well, I have, but I hurt myself because I was wearing a wig. I was going to say. A padded wig.

How white my knee? Should have been wearing a helmet. Knee wig. Do you want a knee wig? I've got some. Got some here. Dave walks around with hairy knees. I haven't hurt my knee in years.

That's what, it wasn't, Bigfoot wasn't a hoax. It was just a very safety-minded man walking through the forest. I don't want to get hurt. I'm going on a bushwalk. Why are you filming me? I could roll my ankle if I wasn't wearing these ankle wicks. We got audible laughs out of that.

That's exciting. Oh, that's stupid. Okay, so she started to get into acting and some studio execs from Sydney Scheinbergs have suggested they changed Natalia's name to Natalie Wood. Let's make it whiter. So her first name is Natalie Wood. First name's Natalie Wood now.

They kept that crazy last night. Natalie Wood, Devidenko, Muscalia. Oh, o'h, look, if you put Natalie Wood in front of that, it just rolls off the time. Is that close? It gives you momentum. You got momentum up top. He just keep rolling through.

People are, once they get going, you'll be surprised how easy it is pronounce a crazy name. That's the key to Russian. Start in English. You speak in Russian in no time. Phenomenal. Okay. So she's Natalie Wood.

She's Natalie Wood now. We can all agree. It's a classic name. It's a great name. It's so boring. It just shouldn't be a film star name though. But I feel like people now, I can't really think of that many examples. But I feel like people now are kind of owning having different names.

Yeah. Like you don't change your name to something a bit more basic. Right, sure, sure. Is that Australian actress who played Alice in Wonderland? She's got a cool surname with the W. Yeah. She's an in ski or something at the end, isn't it? Yeah.

Park, I'm sorry. I do know who you talk about it. I can't think of her name. I don't know who you're talking about And I can tell you her name Wow I don't know Okay so just before Natalie turned five

She made her film debut So she's a four year old Let's remember that Oh they suggested to change her name At four years old Yeah she was that little Were you imagining a teen? I was imagining a 22 year old

No she was a child actress So said to a four year old girl From now on you're Natalie would Your name's not good enough That is a strange What a world She's already been a ballet Denser and now she's noticed by exact.

No, her mom wanted to be a ballet dancer and, um, or an actress. So she was like, you know, like many people who don't, uh, achieve things in their own lives, they force it upon their children, you know? Mm-hmm. Like I want to be a dancer, so I never made it. My kid will definitely be a dancer. Yeah. My kid will play basketball for Australia.

Great. Yeah. Mia Wazi Kapska. Thank you. Yes. Mia. Yeah. Who's that sorry?

That's the Australian actress. Oh, right. That's a cool name. That is a cool name. I'm not good with names in general, but that one I remembered once I googled it. Oh. Okay, so she's made a film to review.

She's in a scene in the 1943 film, Happy Land, her scene lasted for about 15 seconds. That's good. That's the kind of scene I like to do. Yeah. In and out. Lines that I can remember. Yeah.

One day. You get the experience. You get the catering, but it never gets old, because you're only there for one or two days. Yes. Exactly. Despite the short amount of screen time, she caught the attention of the director, Irving Pitchell.

And he telephoned Wood's mother a while later, asking her to bring her daughter to Los Angeles for a screen test for a different role. Her mother became so excited that she packed the whole family up to Los Angeles to live. They all moved to L.A. For an audition. For an audition.

No, not even an screen test. We're going. That is... I thought you were going to say so excited they brought the whole family over for... Nat moved. For the afternoon. For the weekend. And that would have sounded wild.

Like, moves. She quit her job. Uprooted the family. They sold the house. How do you think her dad felt about that? Did he move to? Oh, yeah. At the time, it would have been like, this is wild.

But it sounds like it turned out like she knew what she was talking about. At least for a little bit. Yeah, her father was like, no, but his wife's overparing ambition to make Natalie a star took priority. So they moved. So this is a couple of years later. So Natalie was seven by now. And she got the part. She played a post-World War II German orphan,

opposite Orson Wells as her guardian. Okay, that's a serious star power. Yeah, and the film was the 1946 film, Tomorrow is Forever. Awesome Wells later said that Natalie was a born professional. And he said, so good she was terrifying. As a seven-year-old. She must be stopped. She's terrifying.

After she acted in another film directed by the same director, Irving Pitchell, Her mother signed her off with 20th Century Fox Studio for her first major role, which was the 1947 Miracle on 34th Street, not the 19994 version. Ah, I was going to say, not the one with the guy from that other show. Or the girl from Matilda. Yeah, no, this is 1947. A lot of name dropping on this episode. And it became a Christmas classic, as it still is, but probably the 94 version.

I think it kind of... You know how now they do, like, remakes of films within a couple of years of the original? Yeah. At least this one was like, you know, 30 years. part longer than that much longer than 30 i'm bad at math okay um 50 50 years later um she worked constantly and consistently over the following years appearing in over 20 films during her childhood 20 films as a kid well you laughed at the family for moving matt now look at her how many films are you in as a kid dave before you go running your mouth i wasn't in any

i was in one commercial were you yeah did we know this Which we could try and dig it out. It's on videotape at my parents' house somewhere. What are what for? Do you remember the ad? Which you might just because it was so annoying. Oh my God. Kids singing, hit that switch, Mitch.

Way to go, Joe. Yeah. What was it for? It was just like a saving energy. So it was just like all the things that you should do to save energy. But it was terrible rhyming, kids singing. And at the end, it said, the futures in our hands. And my head came down, my giant forehead and sort of blocked the top half of the

screen. Oh, we'll try to get a copy. Oh, my God. That's so good. Yeah, got to find that and we'll upload that. I'd love to see it again. I haven't seen it for over 50 years. What was your line?

That little bit of overlay of like kids having fun and then the futures in our hands at the end was my main bit. Oh, my God. Good for you, Dave. Thank you. Did you get paid a lot for that? $1,200. Fuck off.

Which at the time when you're 11 is so much money. That's a lot of money. And I just sat in my dollar mites account. Oh. The little accruing interest. Yeah. So I think over the next, you know, nine years before I got the account at 18, I know, eight years or so, it was about $22 interest.

That's more than 26-year-old Jess had in her savings account. Thank you. Not to brag. I'm 27 now. Don't worry. You're a millionaire now. She went from zero to a million in one year. Absolutely not.

Jess, how many... Triple digits. Did you do ads? No, I didn't do any ads. Matt, you were a child star. We all know that. No, I didn't do any... I didn't do anything.

I was in... I think the only time I was on TV was when I was in the audience of Sale of the Century. Oh, yes. On a school... Tell us about that. Simon. A school excursion.

And we were sitting... I was sitting right behind the carryover champ's wife. So they kept showing her in the audience. And they got her to chat... Because they record five episodes. in a day. They record the week in a day, just bang, bang, bang. So she had to change, the contestants had to change,

and she also had to change clothes each day from memory, so that it would look like, but we're still sitting in the exact same spots in uniform. They didn't even move you. No, didn't shuffle us or any. Oh, so good. Those kids are just there every day. That's lazy teaching.

And what did she win? What do they win? A Fisher and Bichael microwave, valued at 90s. I think he was cleaning up. Really? Yeah. Imagine. It maybe almost went all the way, which is like a car and a big cash jackpot.

One of my hobbies is looking at prize showcases from 80s and 90s game shows. It's so funny. Because what they're winning is stuff that you now see on people's lawns for hard rubbish. Yeah, yeah. And they're so excited to win it. Oh my God. Driving a car that you'd be embarrassed to give your 18-year-old for their first car. But that's not even because it's the 80s and 90s.

That's just how time works, Dave. Yeah, no, but I love that. I love it. It's not like the shit we have now. Our kids will be like, whoa. I also think about that. It's going to be so shit. It's just so good.

You love that? You love that we just throw on away so much stuff and our land is weeping with tears and heaving at the seams from overfilling of our landfill. Well, I mean, you're paraphrasing me a bit, but yes. Like we think smartphones are so amazing and our kids will just have like microchipers. and their brains. I don't know.

Probably not. They'll probably have smartphones and be like, like when they thought in 2000 we'd have like hover cars. I don't know. Anyway, shall I get back to the report? Yes, please. Okay, great. Google one.

So she's done 20 films as a child. The director of Miracle on 34th Street said she had an instinctive sense of timing and emotion. Many actors who worked with her testified to her professionalism and grit. There was near universal agreement that the camera loved her. Oh, I love her. love that. I love the camera loving someone.

Camera loves you. The camera loves you, baby. Tell you, my commercial, the camera did not love me. Well, Dave, we know you as a human, so we know that to be true.

I agree with that, though. I became lovable. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, no, I know. There is no way that they finish,

have an end frame finishing on your head alone. If the camera didn't love you. Not my head alone, but I am a large part of it. Yeah. Is that just because of the large forehead? Yep.

Okay. Which, amazingly, was also larger then. Weird. You haven't grown into your forehead. I know, like most kids do. Yeah. It's not, you've got a teeny tiny head, man. Like you said, Matt.

You got a teeny tiny head, Matt. Sorry, I love you, Matt. Don't panic, Matt. You're doing great, Matt. Don't worry what they say. You got a little head, mate. That's my mantra. That's how I get to sleep at night

Oh, it's my mantra That's my mantra Okay, shut up Yes, please, this must be fucking tedious Okay Shitting people off, I reckon Yes Dave It's all golden

You're wiggling your finger at us I'm saying stop that Stop talking badly So California law required That until the age of 18 Child Actors had to spend at least three hours per day In a classroom So they'd have like tutors on set with them

So she started in several film set in classrooms. She was an excellent student, actually, but she herself said, I always felt guilty when I knew the crew was sitting around waiting for me to finish my three hours. As soon as the teacher let us go, I ran to the set as fast as I could. She was such a little hard worker. I'm sure that they were doing a lot of other things in that time, like setting up for the shot.

Anyway. I was sort of going to say like smoking bongs. Oh, yeah. Dave, is that what you were saying? Were they hitting bongs? Yes. Paraphrasing again, but absolutely right. Well, so I thought it was cute because she's quite a hard worker,

but the reason for that is that early on it was drummed into her that the family's fortune rested solely on her. Oh, wow. We moved at the age of four for you. Yeah. And the result that what compelled Natalie to act was not the desire to perform, it was a compulsion to please.

So she wants to please it. And I did kind of talk earlier about her mum being a real stage mum. There's actually a, I remember seeing. a what I thought was a made for TV film. Turns out it was a mini-series about Natalie Wood. And I remembered vividly, I was re-watching it again on YouTube. I remembered this scene where like five-year-old Natalie has to cry in a scene. And her mom like drags over and was like,

if we need this job or we can't pay rent, like she was really laying into this kid. And then, oh, it gets worse, she pulls out. I don't know. I mean, I'm assuming this is based. in reality, but it is in a fictionalized kind of thing. She pulls out a jar that has a butterfly in it, and she's like, look, there's a butterfly. And the little girl's like, yay!

And then she rips the wings off this butterfly. No fucking way. And then Natalie goes and does her scene where she has to drop her ice cream and cry, and these little girl's just crying hysterically. And then at the end of the scene, does the mum put the wings back on the butterfly? Sure. Yep. Thank God.

And the butterfly was like, ah, that was a bit unfortunate, but I understand you how to do that to get the best performance out of Natalie. I'll see you next week. That is horrific. Yeah, it's fucked. This, yeah, this has the, everything about, I mean, so far, this is obviously a tragedy. But we know there's a good ending. Exactly.

For her. Which is what Matt's hanging out for over there. Yep. And I just wanted to mention as well with that mini-series is that at one stage, Marilyn Monroe is in it chatting to young Natalie Wood. And I was like, that person looks awfully familiar. It was Sophie Monk playing Marilyn Monroe. Ah, that makes sense.

She got her start as a Marilyn Monroe impersonator. Then I saw later in the program, Rachel Taylor was in there. I was like, that's weird. That's another Australian. And then a little bit later on, a good friend Natalie Bassingthwaite was in there as well. So I was like, what the fuck? There are so many Australians. I'm pretty sure Colin Freels is in as well.

Sydney. It was filmed in Sydney. A bunch of South African. and Australian actors in it. Crazy. Crazy. But yeah, Sophie Monk, Marilyn Monroe. Anyway, so that's how

Natalie Bassing Thwait comes into his report. You did it, baby. That's so good. You fuckos were like, I don't know how you'll do this. Well, I would never have thought Natalie Bassing Swate

would have come into any of our reports. But here we are. But here we are. Next week I'm doing a report on Rogue Traders. Oh, her awesome, awesome band. You're a voodoo baby. What a track. And that's not theirs, well, that's just taken from something else.

No, that's theirs. That's all theirs. I don't know. I don't know that for sure. Wow, that's a hot lick. A hot lick. I don't like that. That's a yuck image.

Yeah, I mean, don't think about it like that. It's a musical term. Is it? Yeah, like riff. A hot lick. Yeah. Dave says it all the time. I don't.

And he's a big museo. I made it cool. Okay. So unlike many modern child stars, she successfully made the transition from child star to teen star at the age of 16 when she co-starred with James Dean. Did you have a bimitsfa? In Rebel Without Accords.

Oh, that's a big one. I've seen that. 1995, a good year. It was a film by Nicholas Ray, and it was about Teenage Rebellion. In fact, she was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for a role. I just, wow, okay, that's cool. And she graduated high school the next year, 1956.

And after she'd done that, she signed with Warner Brothers and was kept busy during the remainder of the decade in many girlfriend roles. She played a lot of girlfriends. Which she found kind of unsatisfying. So does that mean like the best friend of the main actress or the girlfriend of the main? Probably the girlfriend.

Yeah, she'd be the girlfriend of a man, not like a... Like a leading man. Not a fun, yeah. Okay, cool. Like the role I would be cast and would be the, funny friend. You know, I wouldn't, I'm never the leading lady and I'm never the other woman. I'm the funny friend, you know? Funny friend feels, that's a, is that a good role?

Oh, I can want that role. Yeah. Big time. Because that's the character who's, that's comic relief character. Yeah, and you're only there, again, you're on set for a shorter period of time because you don't know as many scenes, but you fucking steal those scenes. I've changed, yeah, I've changed my mind from before. I want, I want to be in every scene now.

Oh, okay. You want to be. I'm up it from 15 seconds to an hour and a half, please. You want to be in every scene. It's a big jump. Oof, that's a lot of work. And if anything, it would be boring to watch, if I'm being honest. And no one else.

That's another thing. Oh, okay. So you want a stand-up special, is what you're saying. You want to do stand-up comedy. But he wants to do it in different locations. Yeah. Yeah, so you want to be a touring comedian, which you are. But I want to have Steven Spielberg directing.

And the loose narrative. Because I'm a real movie buff. When I think of a director quickly, it's... It's an obscure one. Please, sorry. So she's unsatisfied in her girlfriend roles and she longs for more serious work and probably have the ability to do it, but she was hesitant to veer too far outside of the Hollywood mainstream.

In every film, is her mom on the set torturing insects to inspire her? I believe so. Even into her 20s. It was weird. I hate that or what? Butterfly, who? would do that to a butterfly. That's awful, isn't it? That's a bad person.

I mean, you've got to be pretty good to catch it, grab it by the body, and then get the wings off. But she also had it there ready to go. Yeah, she had it in a jar. Premeditated. Yeah, it's pretty fucked. On Natalie's 18th birthday, she went on a, it says a studio arranged date. I think it was like, have your people call my people? With the then 26-year-old actor, Robert Wagner.

How old was she? Robert Wagner. She was 18. I feel like they would organise those and then try and get photos of them together so that the newspaper would print like, oh, story. Because they're two studio stars. Yeah.

It used to be like that, right? A studio would sign contracts to actors and they'd do a certain amount of movies for them rather than... Yeah, that seems to be more case by case. Yeah, so she signed with Warner Brothers when she was about 20th or when she finished high school, so around this time. They'd seen each other around town, around the acting community.

In fact, Natalie had a crush on him since she was a child, because he's a bit older than her. He said in an interview, this is much later, he said, At dinner we both sensed things were different. I sent her flowers and the dates continued. I remember the instant I fell in love with her. One night on board a small boat I owned. All right, mate. She looked at me with love, her dark brown eyes lit by a table lantern.

That moment changed my life. Isn't that nice? That's very cinematic. Do you remember the moment you fell in love with me? Yes, it was a few weeks ago on my boat. Ah, I remember it well. That moment changed my life. They actually got married the next year in December of 1957.

Her mother didn't approve of the marriage. I'm not really entirely sure why, whether it was the age difference or... He probably wasn't famous enough for her. Wasn't famous enough. Or maybe she felt like she would lose control of her daughter if her daughter was married, you know. Somebody else has got control of her now, Mom. Woo! After the 1960 film,

All the Fine Young Cannibals, her career started to lose a bit of momentum, or she felt she was losing a bit of momentum. Is that where the Fine Young Cannibal's band name comes from? Possibly. Guess it does. And the Hollywood director, Elia Kazan, who was one of the most honored and influential directors

in Broadway and Hollywood history, according to the New York Times. He wanted to interview Natalie for a role in his 1961 film Splendor in the Grass. Is that where the music festival name Splendor in the Grass comes from? Presumably. That was going to be opposite Warren Beatty. He ignored people in the acting community who said Natalie was washed up

and wanted to interview her anyway. Isn't she 22? Yeah, she's like 20. Been in the biz for 18 years, though. Yeah. He cast her as a female lady in Splendron in the Grass and her career rebounded. At 22. She's back, baby.

Where did she go? He felt that despite her earlier innocent roles, she had the talent and maturity to go beyond them. In the film, Warren Beatty's character was deprived of sexual love with Wood's character and as a result turns to another looser girl. Oh, gross.

Is that your words? No. It's in inverted commas also. Okay, it's difficult to get through the podcast. Yeah, okay. A looser girl. Not my words. Who's words?

I don't know. Wherever I got this from. Natalie Wood. Her character could not handle the sexuality and after a breakdown was committed to a mental institution. So it's a gritty role. For her performance in Splendlanding the Grass, she received nominations for the Academy Award,

Golden Globe and BAFTA for Best Actress in a Leading Role. So she's kicking it in The Dick. In 1961, she played Maria and Westside Story, which was a major box office of critical success. You may have heard of it. And she co-starred in the slapstick comedy The Great Race in 1965 with Jack Lemon and Tony Curtis.

Did you ever see that? No. My parents had it on VHS and I didn't know until I was rereading it then that that was Natalie Wood. But, you know, Tony Curtis and Jack Lemon working together is always good and she plays this, I'm pretty sure she plays

a Russian character. Is it, what do you call it, a romp? It's a bit of a romp. It does sort of sound familiar. Is it about a car race? It's sort of like Cannonball Run. Yeah, I think it's a car race or it's some kind of, I feel like they're in a hot air balloon at one point. It's a land race.

Land race. From New York to Paris. New York to Paris. How's that work? Yeah, especially by land. I guess that's where the hot air balloons come in. Maybe. Anyway, I remember watching it as a kid and it's a bit of a romp.

You're right. So in 1964, she received her third Academy Award nomination for love with the proper stranger, making her the second actress to net three Oscar nominations by the age of 25. And the only person who'd done that before was Theresa Wright who'd won two awards in the 40s, so like 20 years earlier.

So she's 25 and killing it. Feeling alive. 25, feeling alive. Jennifer Lawrence would probably rival that now. Oh yeah, good point. That's depressing. How old is Jay Law? 27.

She's the same age as Dave and I. Or she might have, I think she's January, so she may have already turned 28. She grows up so fast, don't they? No. From Cat Piss, Evadee. Yeah. Is that her name?

Catness. Yeah, that's what I thought. It's a joke. Natalie and Robert Wagner separated in June of 1961, and they divorced in April of 62. And then a few years later, on May 30th, 1969, she married British producer Richard Gregson. They dated for a couple of years,

about two and a half years prior to their marriage, while Gregson waited for his divorce to be finalised. Gregson is one of the funniest surnames. It's Gregson. Very funny. Gregson is so funny. In 1970, they had a daughter, Natasha, and then they separated the next year after Wood overheard an inappropriate telephone

conversation between her secretary and Gregson. Don't have a lot of details. Sometimes I like to just leave it out. Her secretary and Gregson. That's no good. No. But the next year, after they'd separated, she resumed her relationship with Robert Wagner, her first husband.

Oh. He had also been married in between. He married actress Marion Marshall in July of 1963, and they had a daughter Katie. And they divorced in 1971 after eight years of marriage. And that's when Natalie and Robert got back together. And they remarried again in July of 1972, 10 years after their first divorce. So she's married both men twice. No, she only married Gregson once.

He was gone, that was, they were both married before. In between. Oh. Robert Wagner was married. So this is the fifth, the fourth wedding. Wagner and Wood. Yep. Wood and some guy, Wagner and Marion Maramura.

And then they got back together. Right. Just trying to pay attention, mate. You're playing my role right now, Dave. I know. Do you reckon you can pay attention? I mean, there's so many marriages. I know. But the point is...

But she did married someone twice. Yeah, Ronald Wagner, who she's married to now. Gotcha. In the story. Go from Austin Palace. Number two. So it was 10 years after their first divorce. It was only five months after they'd reconciled

and three months after she divorced Gregson. So as soon as their divorce came through, she was like, let's get hitched. And then they had a daughter, their first daughter together, Courtney Wagner in 1974. So they'd been married before, divorced for 10 years, got married again, then had a kid. Courtney Wagner.

That's not bad. Pretty good, isn't it? Yeah. I like that. When she became a mum to her first child, Natasha, she kind of went into semi-retirement. She focused on her family more than her acting career. She only acted in four more feature films in her wife.

She appeared on screen with her husband, Robert Wagner, in a couple of projects. One was a television movie of the week, which makes it sound not too good. Not great. It's called The Affair. That was in 1973. They also started an adaptation of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof in 76.

She made a cameo appearance on his prime time detective series Switch in 1978. Her character was Bubble Bath Girl. I've noted a few of these down because the role is good. She also, in 1979, was on heart to heart as movie star. Oh, man. Pretty good. It's a multi- Oscar and nominated actress. Yeah, they don't even give her character names.

I think she appeared as herself in something as well. She had roles in a couple of films, but mostly four. and she started to have a lot more success in her TV work. She actually got a Golden Globe for Best Actress in 1980 for her role in Here to Eternity. So she's still working, but she was just more focused on, like, her family. Then, in late November 1981, the couple invited their friend Christopher Walken, ever heard of him?

He's involved in this. Oh, interesting. He co-starred with Natalie in Brainstorm. They invited him for a trip on the family's yacht, which was called Splendor. off Santa Catalina Island in California. The only other person on board the boat was its skipper, Dennis DeVern. I thought it was going to be Dennis Hopper.

Oh, that would be great, but they make him drop the boat. No talking. So they got the couple, Christopher Walken and the skipper, and that's it. And the rest. And the rest. There's two more characters. It's Dennis Hopper. Come on, give him some fucking credit, easy rider.

Funnily enough, Do you say Easy Rider? Yeah. Okay. This next sentence is amazing then. Just after 1am on November 28, 1981, Wagner radioed a boat nearby. That boat was called Easy Rider.

Dennis Hopper must have been in charge. Oh, that is wild. There are no coincidences. He said, easy rider. Are you cruising in the vicinity? You goddamn right, I'm cruising. I said no. Well, this is Splendor.

We think we may have someone missing in an 11-foot rubber dinghy. Oh. We think we may have someone missing. Yeah, I mean, there's only four of you. Do a quick head count. There's three of us now. That feels like they're not. Yeah.

Half an hour later, the sea was lit from the beams of harbour patrol boats. It was live. Private boats of the Baywatch. And Coast Guard helicopters searching for the missing actor. Natalie was gone. In a rubber ditty. In a rubber dinghy. At 7.30 a.m. the following day, helicopter was on its way to join the search when suddenly one of its crew spotted a red object in the sea below and directed the pilot to move closer.

Face down in a flannel nightgown, red jacket and blue socks, floated the body of Natalie Wood less than two kilometres from the splendour. The dinghy was found beached nearby. After her body was found, Wagner told police that his wife had gone to bed before him and he didn't notice she was missing until he went to their bedroom sometime after midnight and noticed. she wasn't there. Later, Wagner, Walken and DeVern told investigators that Wood took off in a dinghy and went to shore, even though it was well known that she was terrified of water. I suppose you'd want to go to shore to get away from the water. That's fair.

Yeah. This is from an article in Variety. This is a little thing here about, you know, because there's a lot of unknowns with this investigation and a lot of things are holes in the story. So Suzanne Finstatt, who wrote a biography. of Natalie Wood points out that the most disconcerting piece of this case is the commonly accepted theory that Wood went down the ladder at the back of the boat and onto the swim step possibly to board the dingy which makes no like it's all in defiance of her lifetime fear of water from early childhood wood's mother had filled her with a fear of dark water

because a fortune teller had prophesised that Maria would drown and she transferred this and many other fears onto her child oh wow so she convinced Natalie that you will drown. When filming the green promise as a 10-year-old, she was terrified to play a scene in which she had to cross a bridge over raging water. The bridge was rigged to collapse the moment she reached safety, so she was supposed to get across the bridge. Her mother assured her that it would be perfectly safe, but when she got to the midpoint

of the bridge, it collapsed and she was thrown into the water, barely clinging on to part of the bridge. I mean, it's in a controlled set, but there's still real rushing water. And she's afraid of it. And she's terrified of water. It's feeling like the Truman Show. Yeah. That made him fear water and then whenever he went close, they made it fucked.

Yeah. Just happens at home. It's a bit like that. And the director yelled, keep the cameras rolling and filmed her, like, struggling through the water. And she got to, like, the edge and pulled herself out. But she'd broken her wrist or something. Like, it was pretty bad. Keep filming.

Keep filming. I like that instinct. Her fear of water became such a phobia that friends. and family recall she was afraid to have her hair washed and had recurring nightmares about drowning. And again at the age of 14, because of the last minute script change, she was given the choice of jumping off the back of a boat or losing her role in the star with Betty Davis.

She jumped and immediately became hysterical. So if she was this terrified of water, why would she have decided to get into a boat and go into the ocean, which is largely water? But why would they own a yacht in the first place? Well, yeah, I mean, it's her husband's yacht, I suppose. Like, he's probably a bit more. But yeah, the other.

The ocean's mostly water, and that's the thing that she fears. But just what you forget is we're mostly made of water. And there were three people mostly made of water on that ship for her to get away from. Yeah, okay, so she's getting away from one body of water by skinny across another body of water. She's getting away from three bodies of water. Yeah. Maybe she's only afraid of fresh water. Right.

Not salt water. Salt makes it more buoyant. Exactly. That's true. I mean, if they found her body floating, Yeah, quite buoyant. I'm quite surprised by that. Wouldn't she sink?

Yeah. Eventually. Right. Yeah, when her body starts, like, a body starts, like, soaking up the water, right? Then you get bloated? Yeah, you blow out and then... Gross.

Yeah, it's gross. Glad they found her. In his 2008 memoir, Wagner admitted he'd fought with both Christopher Walker and Natalie Wood on the night she died, but that they'd all calmed down afterwards, and he still didn't know what had happened to her. Nobody knows, he wrote. There are only two possibilities.

Either she was trying to get away from the argument or she was trying to tie the dingy. But the bottom line is that nobody knows exactly what happened. Did I blame myself? Of course I did. If I'd been there, I could have done something, but I wasn't there. I didn't blame him. I didn't see her.

I was only feet away. The door was closed. I thought she was below deck. I didn't hear anything. But ultimately, a man is responsible for his loved ones, and she was my loved one. So are you answering your question there? Did you blame yourself?

I don't know. Yeah, you sound a lot of excuses. Yeah. So in summary... Feels like I was expecting him to say, yes, of course I blame myself. That would be a reasonable thing to say. In 2011, Christopher Walken spoke about the death and provided a plausible explanation for what may have happened.

As he told Playboy magazine, where all the plausible explanations go, what happened that night, only she knows because she was alone. She'd gone to bed before us and her room was at the back. A dinghy was bouncing against the side of the boat. and I think she went out to move it. There was a ski ramp that was partially in the water. It was slippery. I'd walked on it myself.

Oh, fuck, I should be doing a walking impression. I can't do a walk-in impression. Luckily, Dave can. Give him a line. Gold watch. Does he mention gold watchers in this? Does he mention the gold watch? No.

That's pretty much the only thing I can even think of how he was saying. My boyfriend does a lot of walking. It's always just friends, listen. That's good. No, it does it much better. Anyway. That's very good. She told me she couldn't swim.

In fact, they had to cut a swimming. In fact. In fact, they had to cut a swimming scene from brainstorm. Better than I expected. She was probably half asleep. Anyway. But the boat's captain, Dennis DeVern, Dennis Hopper, said on the U.S. Today show in 2011.

Dennis DeVern slash Dennis Hopper. He admitted that he'd made mistakes by not telling the honest truth in a police report. He said that the couple had gotten into a huge fight, and that Wagner shouted at Walken, do you want to fuck my wife? Before smashing a bottle of wine and then lady yelling, get the fuck off my boat. He said that to Christopher Walken.

Yeah, I beg your pardon? He said, get off my fucking boat. This is my fucking boat. It's for fucking. If you don't want to fuck my wife, get off my fucking boat. Devon claimed Wagner told him, to say initially and had lawyers write a statement on his behalf, which they forced him to sign. He claimed that Wagner appeared to be sweaty, flushed, anxious, nervous and dishevelled when they

realized she wasn't on the boat. Dishevelled? Deshevelled. Yes. I immediately wanted to radio for help and turn on the searchlight, but Robert Wagner told me sternly. I like that he calls him Robert Wagner. Tomby Stanley.

The Academy Award nominated Robert Wagner, turned to me and said. He just doesn't want to sound like they're friends at all, I think. And Mr. Wagner might have made my sense. If that is his real name. Told me, Stanley, we're not going to do that. We'll wait and see if she returns. That's weird, right? She might just swim back to the boat.

Yeah, she loves swimming. She just gone for a dip. Should we not just have a quick look in case? She loves a night dip. No, instead what they did is, while we waited, Wagner opened scotch and poured alcohol for me. He encouraged me to drink. He discussed with me the repercussions.

of bringing in the immediate attention to the situation and he claimed he did not want to tarnish his image. After an autopsy was conducted on the body, authorities revealed that Natalie's arms had been covered in bruises. There was a scratch on her neck and abrasions on her face and that it was likely the injuries had occurred prior to her drowning. At the time, due to the alcohol and two types of medications found in her system, her cause of death was ruled as an accidental drowning.

But after DeVern's changed recount led to the case reopening in 2011, A medical examiner changed the cause to drowning and other undetermined factors. I think one of the things in her system was like a painkiller and one of them might have been like a seasickness kind of thing. It wasn't like she was on hard drugs. But those sorts of things can heighten the effects of alcohol. And I think her blood alcohol was quite high. So she was probably a bit pissed.

And in February of this year, Robert Wagner has been named as a person of interest in the death of his late wife, Natalie Wood, 36 years after she died. 2018? Yeah. Wow. So basically what I'm saying there is it's still open. It's still a mystery.

Oh my goodness. It doesn't sound like a mystery. It sounds pretty weird, right? Yeah. I mean, it's definitely a mystery of what happened, but it feels like there's some very strong suspects. Yeah. Allegedly, I guess.

Yeah. Dennis Hopper. Dennis Hopper. Where were you, Easy Rider? Who was dead? So we can talk about it being suspected. But it's really strange, right? Oh, man.

of walking. There's also a part of me too that's kind of, you know, when he's talking about like the repercussions if we make a fuss now? Like, you know when you have a fight with your partner and you're fighting, but you're in public? So you're kind of like, I know we need to calm down right now when we are fighting. I feel like it's a little bit like that. Like she's chucked a tantrum.

He's thinking she's chucked a tantrum and stormed off. He's like, don't panic. Oh, right. Maybe. I don't know. I'm not on his side or anything, but I just think like, I've been in situations where I've stormed off and come back and be like, I'm fine, sorry. Oh, God.

I haven't jumped off a boat, you know. Is everything okay? No. Help me. And does Robert Wagner, what's his latest? Does he not really talk about it? Yeah, he's not really talking. And her sister, her younger sister, Lana, Svet Lana, Lana,

Lana Wood, also an actress, is quite vocal about it. And he's sort of saying like, you need to talk. Wagner, he doesn't, does he not work anymore? Is that why he was replaced in Austin Powers? It's funny that the only, the only reason I know it's not funny, but it's, it sounds like it was quite a big actor, and the only reason I know I was from Austin Powers. I know from Austin Powers as well.

But I'm pretty, I wonder why he lost that role. Was he only replaced because they, it's a flashback? Oh, maybe it was, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. But that basically brings us to the end of my report. It does, in fact, not basically. It does bring us to the end of my report on Natalie Wood and the drowning of Natalie Wood, as suggested by Henry.

Thank you. Thanks, Henry. What a sad story start to finish. Right, yeah. Really talented actress, beautiful. Camera loved it. It just did not get looked after. By anyone, really.

Everyone took advantage and whatever. Yeah. So there you go. I wonder what happened. I'm sorry. I just wonder what happened. Just telling us, Maddie, hey. It is unsatisfying when we have no answers.

You never said bop sadly. I hated that. Oh, I'm sorry. Hey, hey, Maddie, hey, look at me. It's okay. All right. It says here that Robert Wagner has a recurring role as Teddy Leopold in the TV sitcom Two and a Half Men, or did, and had a recurring role as Anthony DeNozo Sr. on NCIS.

And I think the actor who played Donozo. Michael Weatherly. Yeah, he plays Robert Wagner in the telemovie. Oh. What's his character like in that? Oh, how do they portray the drowning in that? Um, uh, I don't really remember. I imagine they would have had to have played it like it was she left or,

or they probably just kept it super wide open. Yeah, some sort of terrible accident or something, I think. Hmm. Yeah. I think she was, um, like she was like 46 or something. She wasn't, yeah. Sounds pretty dodgy. Yeah, it does.

So yeah, that's, uh, that's my report. Thank you to Henry for. suggesting it. I'm super surprised I'd never heard of that. Yeah, I thought you would have at least known the name. Because it's, yeah. I think I only heard about it when someone said, I was saying something about enjoying Wagner in Austin Powers,

the movie I know him from. And they were like, ooh, you should look into him. And I never did. Now you know why they made that comment. They made it sound like he may have done something bad. But yeah, it doesn't sound like. So it sounds like it's not. So the case has been reopened.

Yeah, it was reopened in 2011, and it's been investigated. But he's only just this year been named as a person of interest. Right. But that's 36 years after she died. Yeah. That's all feels, well, hopefully they get some closure. He's 88 years old, so. 88.

We may never know. Yeah. Hopefully he has a deathbed. I guess the only way, if he gets on his deathbed, he goes, I was telling the truth. I really don't know. Yeah. That's not going to be enough for some people.

No. Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, I really killed the mood there. Sorry about that. I mean, even I wouldn't have picked one that sad. Well. A live audience would love it. There's people at home cheering right now.

Probably. Let's wrap this shit up. No, it was a very interesting topic. Yeah, just a special. the story that's just a tragedy her childhood acting story the whole idea of those parents who go full on and there's a big history of that especially in america seemingly yeah hollywood but maybe that's just hollywood and big time sports yeah for sure and music as well i'm pretty sure michael jackson had a very tough time as a kid and plenty of others

tennis moms and tennis dads is a classic like demure dockish swimming swimming swimming swimming I mean, yeah, just parents are really pushing all the pressure under the little kids. Yeah. And they're the one, I guess it's because that's how they're the ones who end up reaching the heights because they get pushed too far. But it's also those are the kind of sports where you start quite young. Yeah. Swimming, gymnastics, tennis. And acting can be as well.

Acting, yeah. Anyway. I am so sad. I'm sorry. I'm okay with it. Yeah, I'm all right. I found it to be an interesting story that I didn't know anything about. So thank you for that.

And we've got to say thank you to everyone that does support the show and also suggest cool topics like that. So I say, cool, you know, interesting is what I mean. And so if you know any interesting stories and you want to suggest them, you can do that at any time via the link in the description of this episode. There is a little form you fill out. You can also tell us why you think we should do that topic, which is often a good way of getting it over the line.

Honestly, that helps me. They pop out more. Yeah, that's great. There's thousands of suggestions now. You give us a little hook. Yeah, we think, oh. Oh, hello. A little bio.

Oh, we do a little Google search. Oh, hello there. Oh, this is a good mystery. A little tasty morsel. We gobble up some of that knowledge. Oh, a depressed mat with this one. Ooh, that's my, it's usually how I go. Yeah.

So, yeah, we would like to thank some people. And also we'd like to thank the Patreon people. Yeah. People that support the show at patreon.com slash do go on pod. If you want to support the show, maybe you listen every week and you're thinking, how can help these guys out make this, you know, even more professional than it already is? And I've got it. You know how we always give them something?

Yes. Today, I think what we should do is give them a stage name. Okay, great. We're going to change their names to make them easier. First and last? First, ah, if necessary. Okay, great. We'll make that decision.

This first one, so these are all people that support the show. through Patreon. That's what I was trying to say. This first one potentially, actually a lot of these names that I've got here are pretty they're pretty great as they are, but I reckon you can josh them up even further. Yep.

Firstly, from Mesa in Arizona, I'd love to thank Zoe Soie Sobrowski. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm afraid that we're not fit on a poster. We can keep Zoe because there's only a couple of Zoe's. Okay, Zoe.

Zoe. Zoe. Zoe Shiner. Zoe Shiner. Zoe Shiner. Soie Shiner. Starring, Zoe Shiner. And introducing Zoe Shiner.

Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, great. Thank you, Zoe. I imagine that Zoe is an aspiring young actor of about six or seven. Right. About hit the big time, supporting our show. When Shiner, I've never heard the name Shiner. You've got to create names.

Well, yeah. All that just means black eye. Yeah. Soie can be pretty violent on set. Right. But that's part of her art. You know, a minder at all times for this young. She goes all in.

Yeah. So thank you, Zoe. Shiner. Well done. Yeah. And I'd also love to thank from Portsmouth in the UK in England, Katie O'Day. Oh. I mean, that's ready to go.

I like O'Day. I feel like Katie O'Day is good. I like O'Day. I think maybe we should replace the first name this time. Okay. Yeah, okay. You want to jazz it up a little bit. Something O'Day.

I got it. Okay. Cecilia. Oh, Cecilia O'Day. Cecilia O'Day. This rolls off the tongue. How many famous Cecilias are there other than the song? I don't know if I can think of any.

Correct. So then eventually she'll just be like Adele. Hello, I'm Adele. It's me Adele. That one knows her surname. Hello, Adkins. We've talked about this before. Adkins.

Adele Adkins. Oh, I like that. Well, that's much better I'm Adele. Say hello, I'm Cecilia. Hello, I'm Cecilia. Great. Fuck, she's good.

I imagine that's how you sound, Cecilia, and we appreciate your support. I don't know, I feel like Cadyo Day. Anyway. No, KDayo Day is pretty great. Look, Matt, the segment doesn't work if we don't change at least some of their name. Come on, mate.

Zoe Soie Sobriusky to Zoe Shina. Zoe Shina. That's a great name. Stop chitting on the segment. If I read a novel, I'd put... This is fun. We're having fun. It is fun.

It is fun. No, it's a lot of fun. No doubt about that. All right. Who have you got? I would like to thank. A star in the making all the way from Washington in a place called Poo yelop. Poo yelop.

I'm sure you're laughing at how I've said that, Megan. And your name is Megan Hughes. Megan Hughes. We need to make that a bit different. Oh, sorry, Megan Hughes. I'm sure it would be. I'm happy. Let's keep Megan Gregson.

Megan Gregson. I love it. Megan Gregson. Well done. What's I see? Now you're on board with a fun game. Megan Gregson. Megan Gregson.

Now people say, oh, now you're cooking with gas. Now you're Megan Gregson. Oh, yeah. People will say, because she gets shit done. Yeah. Megan Gregson, thank you so much for your shit done. Megan Gregson. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Oh, man. This name is. Oh, fantastic. It can't be real. I would like to thank from Cooks Hill in New South Wales. Paris Drink water.

Drink water. I'm afraid. I've just encountered a perfect name. Yeah, we can't. No need to change. Paris drink water. That is just fantastic. I'm sure the, because when you join the Screen Actors Guild,

I think a lot of the time people change their names or slightly because it's already taken. You can't have two people. Sometimes you add an initial or something. Can't have two people with the same name. Michael J. Fox. Yeah, on the guild. Especially with common names like that, for example. Yes, but I don't think there's going to be any Paris Drink Waters in the guild.

You know, no need to change that. You're not going to, but I mean, that's the whole thing. No, all right. No, no. If you had to change Cadio Day, you've got to change Paris Drink Water. Oh, there it is. Yeah. Fuck you, Matt, but we did change it.

I'm going to call her. Yeah, what would you say? Berlin Eat Food. Oh, I love it. Sorry, Berlin J. eat food. Thank you. Now that's an actor. That's Hollywood.

That's an Academy Award. Put that on the statue for next year. Already inscribe it, I'm that confident. Yes. Wow. I'll even guess the title of the film. Yeah? The Punisher.

It sounds like a pawn Yeah Best porno I'm that confident Make a statue with that category Because it's happening Wow Okay great

Well congratulations Berlin Thank you so much Berlin Jay Eat food I would like to thank From Civil East In Victoria

Local Terry Nigh house I've got it I already love Nihouse Terry Roundhouse Karate star? Terry Karate star.

Wow, you're in. You'll take everything. Every answer is a good answer. What about, we changed Terry roundhouse I love, but what about T.R. Roundhouse. T.R. Roundhouse. Oh, get fucked. Yes. Starring TR Roundhouse.

She's a badass. Terry's going to fuck some shit up. Yeah, that's great. Good for you, Terry. I do love the name Terry as a. it is, but. Terry. Terry's good.

It is a great name. T.R. All right. Finally. I'm going to bring it home, Jess. Finally, I would like to thank from Bristol in the UK. Great city. Oh, in South Gloucestershire.

Beautiful. Michael Apostolides. Ooh, that's another crack in name. Michael Apostolidis. I don't know. I'm going to call him. I think Apostoletis is a little too complicated for people. What are you thinking, Matt?

What are you thinking? I was, I like, I was going to say, what about? But. Hasus shitstorm. Wow. Great. Yes. Tear it down and build it back up.

I like it. Even bigger and better. Jesus. Keep nothing of the original. Spelt Jesus. Yes. Shitstorm. Because you went apostles.

I think Apostle must have been what kicked me off there. And then you just threw in shitstorm. I wanted to go big. I wanted to go Hollywood blockbuster. And you did. That's so big. You did. It's like Yahoo Sirius, but way better.

Yeah. Because that's Hollywood. Yes, exactly. Yahoo Sirius. Wow. Okay. Well, thank you, Jesus Schittstorm. Jesus J.

Schittstorm, if I may. And thank you to all our future Academy Award winning supporters. Yeah. It would be nice to have one Patreon supporter who's won an Academy Award. Just one. That's all I ask. That's all we ask. Even if it's for like cinematography.

Do you think because... I'd like that would happen, right? No, but do you think when you get too big for that stuff, you don't support local... like small arts anymore. Right. You're like, I'm an Academy Award winner. Why would I pledge $10 a month to a Patreon?

Like, it would be good if we had Steven Spielberg on board. Because he could afford more than 10. He could afford more than 10 bucks. Matt's favorite director. For the price of a tub of vanilla ice cream a month. He could lose 10 grand Australian. Big time. Like, and not even realize it was gone.

And that would make a huge difference to us. Yeah, totally would. You know? We'd go to American. month if Steven Spielberg gave us 10 grand. Probably not next month because the venues are hard to organise, but we'd go. We'd go, but like, we'd probably need more than 10 grand. No, no.

For three flights, back and forth. We still sell tickets. Accommodation. The 10 grand is just the buffer in case. Okay. From Spielberg. Okay, great. Also, can we get a photo with Spielberg?

I don't do why not? I'm assuming he's coming to our show. If he's giving me his 10 grand. Oh, man. Anyway. 10 grand. Anyway, thanks, Stephen Spielberg. And thank you to all the Patreon people, including you, Stephen.

We appreciate your support. We love you the most. All right, we are going to go now, and we will be back next week with another report. But until then, if you want to get in contact, all our social medias and stuff are in the description of this episode. You can always email us at any time with a suggestion. Well, actually, no, not a suggestion. Use the link for that. But if you want to say, hey, drop us a line.

But until next week, we'll say thanks for listening, and I will say goodbye. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. It's not optional. You have to do it. We used to go easy on it, but now you have to. Yeah.

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