Two In The Think Tank - 134 - Agrippina the Younger

Episode Date: May 16, 2018

Which powerful Roman woman played a major role in the reigns of Roman emperors, Tiberius, Claudius, Caligula and Nero? This week's topic is Agrippina the Younger! There is incest, murder, betrayal and unpronounceable names... this episode has it all!You can also support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes at www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSuggest a topic: https://dogoonpod.com/submit-a-topic/Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] AND FURTHER READING:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agrippina_the_Youngerhttps://www.britannica.com/biography/Julia-Agrippinahttp://etc.ancient.eu/education/agrippina-the-younger/http://biography.yourdictionary.com/agrippina-the-youngerhttps://www.historyofroyalwomen.com/agrippina-the-younger/agrippina-younger-romes-enigmatic-empress/http://theconversation.com/mythbusting-ancient-rome-the-emperor-nero-65797https://nate-aggripinatheyounger.weebly.com/early-life.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus Visit PlanetBroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another episode of Dugo One. It's Dave here with Matt and Jess. Hello everyone. What the fuck you said? It's Dave here. You've never said that. You mix it up now. You're gonna mix it up now. It's far end up. It is far end up, buddy. Change the rules.

I'm outraged. My name is Dave Warnocky, and thank you so much for joining us. I'm here with Matt and Jess. Hello. Hi. Hi. So you really shouldn't have spoken Jess.

Oh, it's furious. I'm also weirdly aroused. I was a tell. Okay. That was a test and you failed. So you really shouldn't have spoken Jess. Oh, it's furious. We also weirdly aroused. Oh, okay That was a test and he failed which Warnakie you the cat one or the human one That's right. We have a couple of listeners that have tweeted us the photo of their brand new cat And they've named it Warnakie which I love. I don't know how you shorten Warnakie Warnie Someone comment someone commented on it, Warnecke.

Yeah, that is. So good, I'm just bringing up their names now because I definitely need to be thanked by name. Of course there's Warnecke, the cat, hello, Warne. It was a Chesheia cat. I would've called it Tom DeLonge. Chesheia.

Well, Batman B Boss on Twitter at Batman B Boss. Damn right, he is. Batman B Boss. B being the middle initial. Mr. Boss, thank you. From a chef here, Kat. So I mean, if there's other things you want to name after me, inanimate or animate objects,

that would be pretty cool. Don't, don't put that out there. Or somebody's gonna name it. Somebody's gonna name their dick Warnaky. Well, that would be pretty cool. Don't, don't put that out there. Somebody's gonna name it. Somebody's gonna name their dick Warnocky. Well, that would be you one? Yes, that would be great. What would be the prob? What would be the prob?

When I think in Animate, I think the carbon rod. Yeah, in Rod we trust. I, my 25th birthday, which I think we've talked about before, was an evening of me screening my favorite episodes at the Simpsons at a local minisinimeride hideout and That's such a good idea. I was there. Well, you're not there just there. I was sick. I remember I was invited. Don't you worry? I was invited. Do you remember my don't worry. I was invited. I chose not to go. Yeah. Yeah. I was like nah I was the snubber not the snubby

Do you remember the cake that my housemate at the time, Ali made? It was an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an, an Hey, speaking of very good, this podcast is very good. It is. Should we do one? Let's get fucking stuck in! Boy! This is the new us. We're getting stuck in earlier. I'm changing the intro up. Don't say we're getting stuck in there. I don't know. It just sounds crazy. Getting stuck in with my monarchy.

I want to hear it. Oh, okay. Yeah, so that's what I'm, okay. Good heavens. All right, so the way the show works, I believe, is each of us do a topic. That is incorrect. Fuck, he did us do a topic over three weeks.

Over three weeks, let me finish. We take an intern, try. This week is my turn. We ask a question again on topic. This week's question is, which powerful Roman woman played a major role in the reigns of Roman Emperor's Tiberius, Claudius, Caligula, and Nero. Powerful Roman woman. I have no idea.

Well, we've already talked about Cleopatra. Not Roman. I know, but a big, a big influence in Roman culture and history. But not Roman. No. I really must point that out. It's right. It was from the Tom Gley. Congratulations, you named another woman.

Tolemake, dynasty, that's right. I think this guy, I think I believe this guy. Greek descent even. They're not all the same person. Yeah. Not all women, Dave. History's had multiple women. Heaps.

Name a different one. Jess Perkins. You got it, Simpson? That was lucky. Ha ha ha ha ha. I don't know. I don't think I had heard of this person but my Roman knowledge isn't super good. My knowledge in general. There are so many names on this which are going to cause me real grief. Great. Starting with the topic this week, Agropena the Younger. Agropena.

Agropena? Love it. Cana for Agropena. Oh, yes. How is Spina Agropena? How we spell an Agropena? A-G-R-I-P-P-I-N-A. If you like Agropena, Kaladas.

Ben, Ben, which I do. I can't even call, if you, that song's fucked. Yes, not good. It is very bad. I think we've even talked about it here before. I think we in card, if you, that song's fucked. Yeah, it's not good. It is very bad. I think we've even talked about it here before. I think we have the lyrics about. Oh, the lyrics about too. So, the melody.

It is a fun song to sing, but it is terrible. Yes. It all works out in the end though. This top exam. Yeah, they find each other. I don't know that they do. And they try to cheat on each other. Yeah, they end up cheating on each other with each other. So what's the problem? Yeah, they find each other. I don't know that they do. And they try to cheat on each other. Yeah, they end up cheating on each other with each other.

So what's the problem? Yeah, they're fine. That won't cause any other issues moving forward. They didn't last much longer after that, I reckon. No. That's like that guy himself. If you like making love at midnight, I like it any time of the day, to be honest.

Yeah. Wow. That's not what I've ourselves into. Why does it feel like I'm tired? Regimen, strict regimen. Sounds like my, well, that's not what I just didn't know I'm tired regimen strict regimen sounds like my 11.59 I'm still I'm warming up for one minute That's got very little to do with the Gropena, the younger, which is a gripper is also a famous person. A gripper, yes, so this is like the feminine of a gripper. A gripper, the the elder or something like that.

There's plenty of them. There's some of them. Are they in this story? No. I've just heard of that name anyway. Oh, good. Um, cool. I, good. Cool. Agrappina. This topic was suggested by Clair Jones.

That's a good name. Like you Clair Jones. Like you Clair Jones? The younger. On the sixth, this is the beginning of the report, but I'm not just talking about another thing. On the sixth of November, in either the 14 or 15 AD, Agrappina, the younger was born in a place called Appidium, Uborium, which is Latin for city of the Ubi. This is the early Uber. Yes. If there are any Roman experts or whatever, obviously don't listen to this episode.

This is a comedy podcast. Obviously, fuck off. Yeah, we are. Well, I'm sure. I mean, that's fine. I'm just saying, I'm going to make your brain hurt with some of these pronunciations, including that one. I imagine that you get the date right, the day of the year, but not the year.

Yeah, that's fascinating. Yeah. So obviously, yeah, the records were kept pretty well for the date, for the day. So the Ubi were a Germanic tribe who were made to settle there by the Roman general, Marcus Vipsanius, a gripper. So he's one of them, but.

So that, he basically made him cross a river to settle on the other side, which put them inside the boundaries of the Roman Empire. This location is now in current day Germany. None of that matters to the story. Right, but they were a Germanic tribe. They, though, the original, who be, who be were, but they're not at all involved in this story. Okay. I just, I like from the very start of this, there were just tangents everywhere, and I found it very hard to focus, but I'm going to try my best to stay on topic. Agrippina the Younger was the daughter of Germanicus and Agrippina the Elder, which in a sense, who were a bit of a power couple and prominent members of the Giulio Claudini,

Claudian dynasty. She was the sibling of Nero Caesar, Drusus Caesar, Gaea Caesar, Julia Drusilla, and Julia L'Avilla. L'Avilla. Two Giulias. Yeah, that's it. Those parents were lazy.

Well, I think they're named after Julia Caesar. So the girls got Julia and the boys got Caesar. It's just obviously some old naming. Ah, yes, okay. Thing in magic. What do you call those things when they're like some sort of a rule? Tradition, a naming rule. Oh, naming, there's a better word, but I will go with rule.

Someone's yelling at it there, phone. Um, fuck off Roman expert, we told you. Get out of here. Oh, fuck. Anyway, she was a direct convention. Convention, thank you, sir. She was a direct descendant of the first Roman Emperor, Augustus, who died in 14 AD, just a few years earlier, with Tiberius taking over.

Tiberius being Agropppina's great uncle. Cool. Her parents were on the road for most of the time with their work. He was a military man. Truckie. Yeah, truckie. Trucking about. Convoy. She was constantly in Convoy. So when she was still very young, Agrippino was sent along with most vocaboling to Rome to be raised by their grandmother Antonia. In 19 AD her father Germanicus died while traveling through modern day Turkey. Germanicus was a very popular military general and his sudden death was seen to be very sass as it was rumored at the time that he was assassinated under orders from the

emperor and Germanicus' uncle Tiberius. They cut his brakes. Very dangerous for a trucky. It was a mysterious death. It was a short illness, mysterious death, and they're like, this was a bit sass, right? And the idea was that Tiberius feared Germanicus and the fact that he'd become a threat as he was so powerful and popular with the Roman people. According to one source, Germanicus was the most attractive and popular member of the Imperial family. And was that source Germanicus himself? That was, yeah, his did I,

his dinghy dior. He was the most popular and the best looking. Most attractive and most popular. And he had the most toy cars. And he was the quarterback. His quarterback is Jating the Chill in the... And he could skull the beer real fast. So far. And he could drive really fast too. And he had a real big doner.

Yeah. Guaranteed. Big Warnicky. Oh, his Warnicky was at the control. I've never encouraged this type of thing. I mean, it's ironically named, let's be honest. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, we know, man. From then on, Agrippina the Younger,

I'm probably gonna call her mainly Agrippina, but anyway, Agrippina the Younger was brought up by her mom, Agrippina the Elder, her grandmother Antonia and her great-grandmother Livia. Each of these women were prominent and powerful figures within the empire and they were each very influential on Agrippena as she grew up. Agrippena? How would you say Agrippena? Keena for Pena is works better so. Tiberius was very wary of Agrippena the elder. So we're more like Agrippena. It'd be, I'm no doubt it's something entirely.

But that sounds stupid. Say Agrippena. Maybe Agrippena. Agrippena. That's cool. Agrippena, I'm going online. Yeah, I like it. But anyway, the Roman experts have dropped off by now.

So we're in a safe place. With other idiots listening. Right, and now we have dropped off by now. So we're in a safe place. With other idiots listening. Right. And now we can talk about Greek history. Yeah. Because I hate that. Oh. So, um, so,

so, Tiberius was still worried about Agrippina, the elder and her family, even after her husband, Giamannicus, died. He knew that if she married again, her new husband would be a threat to him also. So he never granted permission for Agrippina the elder to marry, even though she did make a request. He obviously had that power to stop it. I kept doing that, but as I was reading it, wanting to put 19 in front of all these. In 29 AD, Agrippina the elder and her two Elder Sons were sent into exile or prison and they, not one or the other, some of them were one. And they all died within the next few years, with Agrippina the Elder starving herself to death in 33 AD.

So because Tobarius was like, you are such a threat get out. Yeah, I think so. And I think she was like, I don't know, she wanted to, she wanted to live large. And she wasn't getting to do that, so I think she was just like, I prefer to be dead then. Although I'm putting a lot of, I'm putting a lot of words in there that are not at all verified. A few years earlier, in 28 AD, after turning 13, Tiberius arranged Agropena, the younger to be married to a guy called Nias Demidius Ahenbaribus, who was her first cousin once removed. There was debate about his age,

but it sounds like he was either born in 2 BC or possibly 20 BC, which is an interesting thing, but that's quite a big gap. That's a big gap, yeah. But that means... So he either exists or doesn't. Yeah, at this point. So, or this BC, not AD, so...

Oh, right. So, that means that when she was 13, she married him when he was probably 30, but possibly 48. Apparently, it was relatively normal our girls to be married at the age of 13 back then. Was it relatively normal for me to have two ages? If I was married to someone that I had a crush on when I was 13, I'd give I was still married to them. Who boy? He fledger. Oh, actually genuinely. Orlando Bloom. Oh. Yeah, he pledged her an Orlando Bloom.

We're big for me in year seven. Yeah. You would have loved Ned Kelly. I did. I fucking did. I'm powderfinger in it as well. One of your favorite bands. Anyway, band and fanning was.

Was all powderfinger? Oh, three of them I think. Right, okay. Yep. Anyway, sorry. Just interesting, isn't it? You know, how we change in time. How we grow. Yep. Anyway, sorry. Just interesting, isn't it? You know how we change in time, how we grow. Yep. This is interesting. That's fascinating. That's all I've been. This is interesting.

The right and the right time I was in love with the 13th probably in some sort of skateboarder. Really? It's just really skateboarder for about a year. Okay. Terrible at it. Yeah, no, we know that just by knowing you. Yeah, I mean, I think my parents did too. They put off by me one for a long time. Yeah. And they eventually? Yeah, after I we know that just by knowing you. Yeah, I mean, I think my parents did too. They put off by me one for a long time. And they eventually? Yeah, after I did a lot of housework. Oh, and then you were shit at it. Oh, so bad.

Man, to be a good skateboarder, you have to be prepared to get seriously injured. Yeah. I was not prepared. Interesting. I think you've also just got to do it a lot. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like think you've also just got to do it a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

Like a lot of things you come up. Ah, suck at this. But in the bins. Yeah. Matt, who would you be married to if you'd married somebody that's potentially in? I know that was probably around this time. Well, I'm trying to think back in, yeah.

Black and white days. Yeah, yeah. There's an interesting time growing up before color. I bet. I still see it. You were on that red top now, so where? Yeah, right. Maybe Alicia Silverstone?

Oh, great one. Yes, absolutely. But I don't know. She's a bit kooky now. Is she? But in Clueless, oh, fantastic. Yeah, in Clueless, she was Clueless. Yeah. But now, I'm pretty sure she was very clueless. Oh, it's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool.

It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool.

It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool.

It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool. Yeah, could you do? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. He's got a long way, but apparently, thank you. Apparently, this guy, let's call it, because he had that long name. Let's call him by his middle name, Demetius.

Demetius, Demetius. Apparently, he wasn't a great guy. Dimmie. Dimmie. Dommie. Dommie. According to Roman author and historian Sutonius, Dommie was a man who was in every aspect of his life detestable. Oh no. But there is a chance

Sutonius was biased against Dommie as Sutonius was from the equestrian order and apparently at the Roman forum one time Dommidius pulled out the eye of an equestrian because they criticized him. Okay. Well, and that, I mean, that's not really biased. That just makes that, that guy's definitely an ass. Yeah. An ass. Oh, he's an ass.

Oh, he's an ass. He's an ass. He pulled out someone's eye. I mean, what the fuck? Yeah. I know. I like how that goes. Well, he's just biased against him because he was a fuckhead. He's biased against it because

he saw him do something really brutal and unnecessary. So on the 16th of March 37 AD, Emperor Tiberius died. And though he was an old man, most reports suggest that a group, a groupine his brother and Tiberius's heir, Gaius Caesar had something to do with the death either not allowing the sick emperor of food or even suffocating him by some reports either way we're sorry there too much food on that nut food get these potato chips down his throat whoa whoa what a way to go wow um chippies What a way to go. Oh wow. Chippee. I'm num num num num. Either way, this meant gayest, gayest Caesar became the new emperor.

Is that Tobias' son? No, that's his nephew I think. Right, okay, but a relation. It's a gripper, the youngest brother. Yeah. A grippena, the youngest brother. It's a brother. Yeah. A groupina, the youngest brother. Is it brother? Gotcha. But you might know him better by his nickname, which is better known by now, Caligula,

or he was fought well known as by that. Caligula. Caligula. It sounds like something glue does in heat, you know? Yeah. It colligulates. Do you guys know what Caligula means? I don't I just told you he's pretty He's on the center like fucked up stuff, right?

They seem to all be a little bit. It's what glue does. Hello. Is this thing on? So apparently when he was younger he used to accompany his dad, Germanicus, on military campaigns, dressed in like mini soldier outfit. So, Caligula meant little soldier boot. Because he'd be wearing like a mini soldier boot, which was a collie... There was something like Caligua or something, was the... Right, should have written that down. Adorable. Something like Colliga or something is the right should have written that down adorable Tiberius left his powers jointly to Colligula and Tiberius

Jamalus in his will but Colligula avoided Tiberius as will and had Gamalus executed so that he would become the new Emperor alone I imagine that you think you're about to be co-emperor and now you're like, oh no, I'm having a head chopped off. This isn't a good thing. What a come down. When you co anything, I mean, you're not real. There's always a leader, isn't there? Yeah. Co-director. See, we technically the three of us are co-directors, but I know I'm the third one. I thought you're going to put yourself forward there. God no. My co-direct co-hosts?

We co-hosts, sure. Yeah, Dave is. Dave, our leader? Fuck yeah. Now I can, you two, to most of the work. We'll have to fight each other to the death. And I'm just kind of coast along. And that's ruining the podcast.

No, you're replaceable. We all, we all, we all play our role. Like any good team. Colligula looked up. The other one gave me a head trapped off of that attitude. Come on, mate, there's no eye. David, I'll be co-empros. Yes.

Empress would I be an empress? No, you lost your hair as well, mate. You fucking kidding me? You got it with the other way. I am ruthless. I'm ruthless. Absolutely. At least kidding me? You're out of the other way. Oh, you're ruthless. I'm ruthless. Absolutely. At least unbelievable, but also very believable.

Thank you. Colligula looked after Agropena and his other sisters, Julia, Drusilla, and Julia Lovilla, in the early years of his range, giving them the treatment normally reserved for Vestal Virgins. This is something I just looked up not long before we started recording. You guys familiar with Vestal Virgins. This is something I just looked up, not long before we start recording you guys, familiar with Vestal Virgins. I'm familiar with half of those words.

Vestal. Correct. What the fuck is a virgin? What is a Vestal Virgins? Well, I've looked at up, according to Britannica, Vestal Virgins in Roman religion, are six priestesses representing the daughters of the Royal House who tended the state cult of Vesta, the goddess of the earth.

Chosen between the ages of six and ten by the pontifix maximus, which is the chief priest, Vesta virgins served for 30 years during which time they had to remain virgins. After that, afterwards they could marry, but few did. Because they'd be 40 by then. Because they've chosen between six and 10. So they'd be 36 to 40 by the time they get up. No, that's a bad thing. I think 40-year-olds can't have sex.

I'm just saying back in the day. You're bad as quite old. You're not getting married at that time as a woman. Yeah, I guess I imagine that maybe that's something. Are those chosen as vessel virgins had to be of the required age, obviously. Be free born of free born. So it couldn't be free.

It was like free born versus slaves who were freed. So your parents had to be free born and you had to be free born. and you had to be free-born. Right. Which is weird line of jaw. And your parents had to be respectable. Both parents had to be alive. Oh, no. And you had to be free from physical and mental defects. There's all according to Britannica. Their duties included tending the perpetual fire and the temple of Vesta,

keeping their vow of chastity, fetching water from a sacred spring, preparing ritual food, caring for objects and the temples in a sanctuary, and officiating at the Vistalia, the period of public worship of Vesta. Failure to attend their duties was punished by a beating, attend their duties was punished by a beating violation of the vow of chastity by burial alive as the blood of a vessel virgin could not be spilled. Yeah, so that's vessel virgins. Right. And they're all the men. And these people are lucky enough to be treated like they're getting all the all the good stuff without having any to do any of

those things necessarily. So they have to be virgins, no. Well, she's, so they're not cleaning because they're like royal and they're not. So they're getting the good thing. So they're getting stuff like the apparently they got sweet tickets to the footy or whatever to the big public events they got to sit up in the in the grandstand, which normally would only, would be something that the vessel versions could do.

So they got the perks without any of the hassles. Nice. On the perks, you're the hassles. All right. Kalegella also issued new coins depicting his sisters on one side and himself on the other. And apparently they were the first Roman coins of this kind issued. How do you play heads or tails? Three heads or one head. So it's heads or head.

Yeah, very confusing. Put your hand on your head or head. Two hands for heads, one hand for head. I'm gonna have this exact discussion in the forum. Yeah. Took them three days, though, work week. He also included them in loyalty oaths that had to be taken by members of the Empire where they had to say something like, I will not value my life or that of my children less highly than I do the safety of the Emperor and his sisters. Wow.

He's a good brother. He's very loyal, isn't he? Looking after his sisters. Wow. He's a good brother. He's very loyal, isn't he? Looking after his sisters. Well, not for long, I think. In the early years of Collegula's rule, Agrippino was pregnant, and on the 15th of December 37 AD, she gave birth to her only child, who she and Demidius Who shan demidious named Lucius demidious ahabora bus ah Hennobora Hennahennobabus After demidious's father It was called Greg Yeah, my new favorite name is which I'm gonna I can't wait to name a character this

Gary Gregson It's gonna be big some big character in a big movie one day. Oh, yeah Gary Gregson all the kids in black I'm like then you know I want to be Gary Gregson. No, I want to be Gary Gregson. Yeah. Yeah Great. It's gonna be big. Very good stuff Soon after the birth So Etonias quotes Demidious as saying I don't think anything produced by me and a Agrippena could possibly be good for the state all the people so that of his own child. Yes fantastic

very good Parenting 101 Destroy their confidence early. Yeah, I mean he's given himself shit. He's given his wife shit and he's giving his son shit. Yeah, he's shooting on the whole fam of Caligula's three sisters. Caligula's most fond of Drusilla. So when on June the 10th 38 AD Drusilla died, Caligula was destroyed. The death is said to have affected him greatly and his relationship with the remaining sisters soured. He no longer showed them love or respect and

is said to have pretty much lost the plot in general. There were rumors at the time and nearly everything in this is debated still. All these little bits and pieces are still debated, but some said he was quite incestuous with his sisters. But no more. In particular with Drusilla. Even though Drusilla was, well, you know, they were both married, but not everyone agrees with that necessarily. Due to this in 39 AD, Agropina, her surviving sister,

Levillea and Drusilla's widower Marcus Amelius Lepidius, came up with a... Lepidus, no one. Yeah, Lepidus, that's good. Came up with a plot to murder Caligula. Okay. The plot has become known as the plot of the three daggers, and the goal was to make Lapidus the Emperor.

Right. The plot failed, and Caligula had Lapidus executed while Agrippina and Assista were sent into exile in the Pontine Islands. Pontine Islands. Nice. Beautiful. Anything islands and... Mediterranean Islands. Lovely. Pontine Islands. I don't think it's nice. Beautiful.

Anything islands. Mediterranean Islands. Lovely. I think you love it. Greek Islands. Beautiful. What's on for? Philip Island.

Gorgeous. Love it. Great place. Great place, great guy. He also sold off all their belongings, leaving Agrippina and Demidius' son without an inheritance. Demidius started the following year and their son Lucius went to live with his aunt, Demidia Lapida, the younger.

What was it? What was Lapida? What was Lapida's? Oh Lapida's, so this would be Lapida. Yeah. Lapida boys, Lapida. And he's gone to live withpada. Yeah. Leopardar boys, lepada. And he's gone to live with the aunt. Yes.

By 48D, you following any of them? I mean, this is a lot of stuff going on. It's a lot of names and it's... There's a lot of names, but that's interesting. Basically, to recap, in charge on the throne right now is a collicular. Yes. They tried to get rid of him,

but he busted the plot. So he got rid of the guy in charge of that plot and XR He's two sisters. The third sister's already dead to a beautiful Island. Yeah, I'd take that XR, but he took he took all their stuff. So they're she's gone from top of the pops living like a living like you know The sister of an ember. Living like a Vestel Virgin. It was actually all knows, beautiful. Everything to be. By 48D, there was growing unease about Caligula's ruling style.

And some of the decisions he was making were causing unease within the Senate and the ruling class. The final straw was that he told the Senate he was going to move to Alexandria in Egypt, leaving Rome permanently. Apparently he thought he'd go there and just be worshipped as a living God. Sure. I mean, I'd go there right now if I thought that would happen. The Senate didn't like this idea, though. As it would mean they would lose their rule,

there wouldn't be anywhere near them. So not at all under their control and sort of it would really kind of mess up the whole system a bit. Yeah. It's like our prime minister going, I'm gonna do this from Russia now. I'm still the boss though.

And there's no easy way to very quickly communicate. Yeah. I mean, they're wise like they're obviously very civilized. Pigeons. Pigeons, that pigeons. Email. That email, obviously. Instant Messenger. I had it all. Satellite phones. Satellite phones. There's text a lot. Yeah. Hey, what do you reckon we should about this? And he just text back. I'm like, sorry, I'm just going to ask Emperor, I'll be with you in just one moment. And he's, because he's really quick, like he's only his final the the time, so. Well, let me put you on speaker. What I was mainly was they didn't have video calls yet.

So it wasn't, yeah, it wasn't. They couldn't see what he was doing. Yeah, it was. They could hear, they got audio. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He could send gifts, so they could sort of see. But he could like pretend to be in the office,

but really he's on the beach. Yeah, yeah. That's his favorite. That was already very good at Photoshop. And when he's not talking, he just puts it on mute. So he can't hear the signals. Oh really he's on the beach. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's his favorite. That was already very good at Photoshop. And when he's not talking, he just puts it on mute. So he can't hear the signals. Oh, he'd just go, sorry, I'm just going, to cut it, but really.

I know, like that. Because it was sculling milk. Yeah, he was sculling milk. But he'd say he was going through a tunnel because he just couldn't be bothered talking. But really, it was real. They couldn't see him to know that he wasn't in a tunnel at all. Yeah. He was sculling me.

Hey, you're really good. Got away from it. But anyway, that alternative reality never came to be because a plot to not colligula off was put together with three key conspirators. Oh, Duggers. Cassius. Clay. Chiria. Ah. Marcus Vinicius. And Lucius Anius Vinicianus.

Anius Vinicianus. Anius. Oh, Jesus. Lucius Anius Vinicianus. Oh, he got bullied. Yeah, he would definitely be at the top. Just call me Lucius. Just call me Lucius.

It's fun. No, I need the rest for a form. So this is you're at the airport. Doesn't matter. I'm like share. I'm just Lucius. I'm just like share. I'm a pop icon. And they only have one name. I don't give a fuck. Reports of the murder vary, but it is agreed that it happened and Can confirm it seems that Chariah was first the stab colligula before others jumped in and it and it ended up with it being about 30 stabs

Oh from the three of them. Yeah, it was a bit of a stab, a pile up stab, stab up. So he, he dead. Following the attacks, Collegula's wife Melonia, Cisonia, and their daughter Julia, Drusilla, what are you making these up? Also brutally murdered. Wow, that was stabbed as well.

Yes. Wow. The young Melonia Wow. The young, yeah, like, it sounds like it was fucked. Anyway, Agrippin as Uncle Claudius became the new Roman Emperor. And did he have anything to do with those three guys? Or do they just not like colligueless? So they were like, anyone else is cool. Yeah, Claudius, I think he was, I imagine to do that, they must have known he was the next in line. There's a little gap in my knowledge there Dave, that you find out. That's fine, but I just wanted to know

he wasn't one of the three though, that was stabbing. No, he wasn't one of the stabbers. Cool. But I, it must, like I don't think something like that happens without them wanting him to be the next one. Well, that, they're thinking about that. Oh, no, that guy hate even more than charged now. That would be a huge, a huge blue.

Oh dear. Claudius, have you heard of Claudius? Because some of that, like I knew, Colligula, I knew quite well from the Queens of the Stone Age song, Colligula of. Also the Smith song, when he says, Colligula would have blushed right Right, but I'm RC bit of most I've got nothing you got no reference

I thought colligula was something glue related as I mentioned earlier. What's it queens of stonage? I might have been them crooked vultures anyway, it doesn't matter This thing is important to get right This is the fact that it's most important. So Cordia's ended the exo of Agropena and her sister, Lavella, allowing Agropena to be reunited with her son Lucius. This bit is going to sound slightly confusing, I think, but I hopefully make sense.

So they're like, I'm already really well. So Agrippinica who come home now. Yes, she was back from a older. She's back in good terms with Claudius. Yes, that's right. With the ruler. Yeah, he had no beef.

Okay, so he was happy for her to come back. I only chickened for him. And so he was her uncle. Right I only chickened for him. And so he was her uncle. Right. As opposed to her brother. Sure. Anyway, so Lucius's Aunt Dametia LaPita, the elder, was divorced by husband Gaius Celestius,

Christmas, prasenius, so that Christmas could marry Agropena. So, just go through the relationships there. Who's who? So there was a there was a current marriage between just one name age. Okay Demetria was divorced by chrispis so that chrispis could marry

our top一個 that a Day Agrippena. Nice. And who's Christmas? Christmas was a man in, you know, so many ways. Okay. I'm back on track. Yeah, I'm up to date. I get the whole thing now.

So, Crispin Glover is now married to Agar. I was either picture in Crispin Glover or crispy M&Ms. Right. Crispy M&Ms Glover. Let's go to M&Ms. Just imagine Crispin Glover. As an M&M. But he's got the skin of an M&M.

Oh, he's so shiny. He just bled the surface a little bit of chocolate in the name below that. Sort of like this. Crisp. Crispy thing. Ah, love him. I bit like him.

He sort of minted Crispin M's, holy shit. So good. It's body time. No, yeah. Like the Terminator's human tissue over like a machine. Yeah. This is crispy over chocolate over human. Yeah. And that, I mean. So we were all imagining the same person. Yes. I know. That'd be weird if it was. But you said it was somebody's aunt. Yes. Who's aunt? Who's aunt?

Ow. Chris, Chris wasn't anyone's aunt. No. Lucius's aunt. So as in Agrippina's son. Yes. So is it her sister? No.

Other side. Okay, got it. Thank you. So she's Dommy's sister. Or is Chris bin Dommy's... No. So where's the aunt come from? Because Lucius has two parents.

We're talking about Jim, Jim Manicus. Right? From Hellia? Yes. I know you're trying to make this sound more simple, but I feel like you've confused me. It's a different, it's a different Lucius. No, Lucius is the same, but so Lucius got two parents.

One of them is Agrippini. The other one is, what's his name? Dommy. Dommy. Oh, is that what you're saying? Yeah. Yeah, then that's right. Okay.

Just go on. That should have been the name of the show. Just go on. So, Christmas married Agrippana. When they married, Christmas became Lucius's stepdad. Apparently, Christmas was super rich, very powerful and very successful. Agropenia convinced him to name her as his heir, and soon after, in 47 AD, Christmas died. Oh.

It is thought that Agropenia poisoned him. Sure. To gain his wealth, which he did. She got his wealth. Bit of rat-s sack in the stew. And welcome home, honey, here's dinner. Oh, this tasted a bit like rat sack. Eat up.

Thanks. Thanks. I think once you have tasted it, it's too late. Yeah. And why do you know what rat sack tastes like? You've been looking rat sacks. Just for this exact purpose. Yeah.

Just so I know it wasn't taste like I once boys and I nearly died. That is something I think if you it's almost like you're giving yourself immunity, but I have an tiny bit. I believe what type of thing that kind of thing what type of immunity though, what did we go for? In terms of like, give me the options. Maybe it could be diplomatic immunity. Oh, right, great. That's the only type of immunity we want to hear about.

That's the one I would go on for. I do believe that I actually did used to believe that you could have a little bit of lots and lots of different boisins and then you'd be immune to them. Right. Which I believe is not true. Right. It feels like you just, like often people would accidentally poison themselves. Yeah, right.

Okay, yeah. Whoops. Whoopsie. Well, now we know there are immune, they can't die from any other poison because they're already dead. True. It's all worked.

In a way, death is the ultimate immunity. Yes. Can't. Diplomatic or other. Can't hurt me now. I'm dead Unless ghosts can feel paid That's on just a scream. Can't help me now. I'm dead

Shouldn't have had the rat sack it's three photos. It's one left the two real spark If the middle is panic Like realization and then the third one is just absolute may Try to try to spew at it's you at Oh, no poisoning myself again on the way out that it works Poison is absorbed in your tongue. Oh, I was reading this out of nail polish remover last night that my girlfriend was using because it said poison down the side and big letters and I was like, all right, to be using this, she's like, yeah, just don't drink it.

And then I said, looked on the side, it said if swallowed, do not induce vomiting, like that would make it worse. Yeah. Yeah, wonder what that is. So maybe it does come back up, gets into your esophagus and you're... Well, the other option is you pay it out, and I don't want to be poisoned there either. Oh, yeah. You already are, am I right?

Oh! Now get checked. Yeah. That goes for everyone. Get checked. Everyone gets your eggs. Town-hurt. It's kind of hard.

It's quick. And if it does hurt, then you really should put it That's the real warning song. It does hurt do not induce vomiting you want help Go on emperor Claudius married haven't stopped introducing like so many of these names come in and out very quickly But I mean it's just It's so much. It's so what going on here.

Yeah. Claudia sets the character in eye-claudious. I imagine. I think you have eye-ledgion. The Robert Hargraves book that's about, I think it's about Roman history. Yeah, well, if the title is eye-claudious then I reckon Claudia is a great character.

I think it's like a diary written from his perspective. Dear diary. A diary written from his perspective. Dear Dari. A diary written from his perspective. Yes, yes. As in his diary, I probably could have said that. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising.

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There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth opportunities and, often, flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time mycomputercareer.edu. Anyway, I did go on. So Emperor Claudius married Valyria Messalina in the early years of his reign.

And although she was a cousin of Agrippena, she would become a great rival of hers also. But it sounds like Agrippena, she had plenty of rivals. Someone about her that, like it's interesting how different people interpret it as Agrippena's life in different ways. I'm like, she was just such a strong woman that was usually at that point, like, women were second-class citizens in a lot of ways. And she had none of that. She was like, she was just as influential as... She was traveling first class, glamorous, glamorous.

Thurkey, you never thought we'd have that on the pod, did you? T.M. M. M. M. Clam. So she's a bad ass, but she's also got lots of enemies. She sounds like a, like you'd have a lot of respect for her, but she'd be very hard to get on with.

I feel like she's almost, she feels like she's choosing, like the enemies, it feels like she's on the front foot a lot as well. It's not like people are going, I'm just going to disliking of you. But she also grew up in such a tough time. Like a dad was poisoned for political reasons when she was a toddler, and it just never stopped. So this was just her life was kick or be kicked.

What's the actual saying? Kill or be killed? Sure. There's another one, right? It was kick or be kicked. What's the actual saying? Kill or be killed? Sure. There's another one, right? That was kick or be kicked. Yeah, that's good. That's pretty good. You got to kick or I'm going to kick you. What up to you? Yeah.

I think I'd, I'd kick you, I think I'd be kicked. I hate being kicked. I hate being kicked. I hate being touched in general. Leave me alone. Fuck will be fucked. No, that's not it either. Then maybe there's not the same.

I think it's Kill will be killed. Kill will be killed. Kill will be killed. That's fun. Kill will be killed. Kill will be killed. Kill will be killed. Stand up comedian called Kill will be. Killaby killed. Stand up comedian called Killaby. And he killed. And that

gig last night. Good job, Killaby. Okay, I joined in, that's no good. All right, I'll sit here quiet. No, you face set it all. So don't take my face out on me. Just please, that is not my fault. It's 100% your fault. My face is my fault? Yes, that is the biggest thing that you do. Thank you. This has nothing to do with me. The true me is on the inside.

It's all mush. My friend. Yes. My friend Killer Bee murdered a man last night. Anyway, do go on. At a big public event, that Empress Messylina attended with her son, Britannicus, which is a signal.

That's the best name so far, for sure. Insoclybate, you're Britannicus. So she was there, Messylina, the Empress. And I heard to the Emperor, was there with her son, Britannicus, right? The same event Agrippana was there with her son, Lucius. Ravary. But Agrippena and Lucius received a much more generous reception from the audience than the Empress,

Messylina and Britannicus. And many people, because Agrippena, seemingly, it's gone through a lot of tough times, sounds like her husbands were dying, some say that she killed him. Sure, but she's the people's champ. But yeah, the people are loving her. She was also the daughter of such a popular couple,

as well, and Germanicus and Agrippina the elder. So no doubt, this would have really ground Messlenas gears, so to speak. Messlenas saw Lucius as a threat to her son, Britannicus's position in the Empire as a future emperor. Like obviously, he was seen to be, you know, on his way to the top, but she saw Lucius as a bit of a threat. Due to this, she organized assassins to kill him in his sleep.

He's a kid. See, a kid, or the stage where he's a big boy. He's a kid. I mean, it's funny, because some people who do actually live till what we would still say today is oldish, like 70s or whatever. But a lot of these people die in their 30s and 40s. Yeah.

So I imagine, I'm pretty sure he's still quite young. Probably like it married at 13. You know, get busy living. That's the saying. Get busy. Get busy living or kill. Yeah. Or kill it be killed. Kill it be killed. Um, kill it be killed. So team of a team of a comedy, that's good. I'll get fucked. I get it now. So a team of assassins take out this, possible young child. That was the plan, but luckily for Lucius, the would-be killers were scared off by a snake that was next to his bed.

What does that mean? I'm waking up and he's like, thank God, oh, snake, oh fuck! It turned out it was actually just a snake skin. So he was very lucky that they, they didn't have a body good look to be honest, I don't think. I didn't prod the snake so sweet. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't.

I didn't, I didn't. I'll just be quiet a bit. Well, what is happening to self-confidence tonight? It's, it's at an all-time low. Is it something I said? Yeah. Is it something my face did? Because I will fucking punch it.

Go on, punch your face. All right, I'll do it. Is it really? Yeah. I don't, my face is giving you grief. Yeah. And I will give it one. Go on.

All right, look, if you just say the word, I have. And I will punch myself in the face. Punch yourself in the face. Look out there. I don't, like, I'm not going to do it. I'm just like in the face, I'll make you feel it. I don't, like I'm not gonna do it because it's not, I'm not in a gratuitous violence. Only if you definitely think I should. I definitely think you should.

I'm giving you an out here, I don't want you to say anything you regret. No, absolutely. Punch will be punched. Yeah, punch will be punched. Oh, so I punch my face or will punch you in the mouth. Yeah. Yeah, punch will be punched. Oh, so I punch my face or... We punch on the map. Yeah, at the same time.

Well, this is one that eats. Yeah, yeah. Sugar left. Oh, yeah, that's good. I'm going with the right. That makes more sense. Okay. Thank you so much, Punch.

Oh, God. I mean, that's your left arm. Oh, he did it. Is the beard pad you at all? I did. I felt, luckily I'm not a very good punch. You still felt quite a bit of pain, right? Yeah. Okay, great.

I'm feeling a lot more self-confident now. I think I, thanks Matt. In 48 AD, and in a view book, in 48 AD, Messelina was found guilty of conspiring to overthrow her husband Claudius and was executed. Oh, dear. So she, like, it just feels like a time where everyone was nervous about everyone else. Who can you trust?

It does feel a bit like that. Who can you trust? Every partner's knocking each other off, plus you got brothers and sisters, you got your own kids. Like, these are the people you should be aware of trust. It feels like at this time, more than any other time in history, it was killaby killed.

Killaby killed. That's right. Then again, you know, they say like, you're more likely to be murdered by someone close to you, you know, because I was about to say, if something happened to me, I wouldn't think, I wouldn't like think my brother had done it. That's what he'd want you to think.

Exactly. You know? Or a close friend or a partner. I think that's one or other. I don't want you to think because he wouldn't, that's because it's true. Yeah, and he wouldn't want you to. That's why I wouldn't want you to. He wanted it. Yeah. It weird, it was like, no, no, I didn't do it, but I want you to think I did. Yeah, that would be strange. It's just as last wish. Yeah, she wants to think I killed her. She wants me to go to jail for a crime,

I did not commit. Yeah, he's why. And also, like, what a wild task. You know, the queen is being killed. Yeah. Because it looked like she was conspiring to kill the king, but I'm putting, just in case people don't know terms like emperor and empperors, I'm

putting in terms that we can understand here today. Yeah, thank you. But in terms of, if you're all adding them to a type of penguin, what kind of penguin would you do? Like a fairy penguin. Okay. And that one with the funny face. Great.

Great. The great penguin. Greg the penguin. The Greg penguin. He he he he. It's such a funny little face. Greg the penguin. So Messalina is dead. Claudius is single. I'm ready to fuck.

That's definitely the phrase. And now Agrippena became, post-Messalina's death became very close to Emperor Claudius. But she's still married, right? And he is also her uncle. Claudius? Yes. Oh. So they became closest like an anise and an ankle or yeah

initially Greg and another Greg. I think actually I'm sorry I think Agrippainer isn't is a marriage but I think she she killed she killed her second husband she killed us yeah so she's single as well and also ready to so there's nothing and they've got a lot in common. I also killed my partner. Oh, he didn't kill his partner. She tried to kill him, and then he killed her. Yeah, okay, yeah, sorry.

I mean, a lot of these times, I imagine that you want to get rid of them. So you say, oh, she's trying to take over. Get rid of her. Yeah. So, or maybe he's just crazy and thinks you know because you would be at this time You'd be thinking everyone is out to get you. Yeah, everyone is yeah It really feels like that is like I wouldn't uncomfortable time a lot of it is

People in their sleep as well. So you just imagine their self confidence for and it like these are like they have guards and stuff or even it but if you're awake It's like someone goes oh you were conspiring to kill me. So you're getting executed. I wasn't. Yeah. But I was asleep. Yeah. Well, we tried to kill you when you were sleeping. Um, despite uncle's marrying nieces being frowned upon at the time, uh, Claudius and Agrippina decided to get married on New Year's Day in 49 AD. Leading up to their wedding, Agrippina, so he had to change the laws. People didn't like it, people like this is no good. Right. They changed the laws and the wheels were in motion. Leading up to the wedding, Agrippena's cousin, Lucius Jr. Salanus, Salanus,

Pocquatus, Lucius Jr. Salanus, Pocquatus was to marry Claudia Octavia. Oh my God. Agrippena didn't want this to happen, though, as she wanted Octavia to marry her son, Lucius instead. Right. So Agra Pena, along with the console Lucius Fetilius the Elder, made the unfounded, and you

could argue hypocritical, accusation that Salinas was in an incestuous relationship with his sister, Jr. Calvina. This wasn't true, but also, what a wild accusation to throw out when you're planning to marry your uncle, like at the moment in the middle of. Yeah, unlike the Empress changed the rules

to make it so he can marry his niece. The accusations did the job, as Emperor Claudius put a stop to the marriage. It was his daughter as well. So he's put a stop to the marriage. It was his daughter as well. So he's put a stop to the marriage of his daughter because the guy she was going to marry was supposedly in an incestuous relationship. And he made Salinas or Salinas resign from public office. So this fuck Salinas up. Salinas up Salinas he was devastated by this and committed suicide on Agrippena and Claudius's wedding day Oh on New Year's day

So he was just like and this was just for a political maneuvering Just doesn't yeah It is thought that the marriage was strategic for Agropena helping get Agropena's son one step closer to becoming a future Roman Emperor himself. It also meant that Agropena was now the Roman Empress and the most powerful woman in the Empire. Wow. It's insane.

Yeah, it's incredibly confusing. Yeah. But insane. It's just so much is going on. Hmm. Imagine the papers back then. Oh God to be a journalist back then. Oh my so many scoops so many hot takes. Yes Imagine the Buzzfeed articles. I would not be making any hot takes back then. I would be putting my head down That's what you and I differ. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be going. Yeah Oh, yeah, big time. It's important that the people know David be like a Denton. He'd get all the really in-depth

Converts interviews with them. I'd just be it look. I'd be going I'm I'm the pro golfer or something I'd have some sort of no you would even keep your head lower than that. Yes, just I'd be nothing. Yeah, you don't want to you don't even want to be a teacher and you just want to be someone who's, I mean, being a soldier might be like, maybe. Somehow being a soldier feels like it's a less dangerous job than being anywhere working around the palace,

being an advisor or anything like that. They're dropping off all the time. You're less like that a die. It's amazing. Wow. I became a soldier for safety. To protect myself. The marriage also made her the stepmother of courtist's children, and which he had a

few from previous marriages to Alia Petina and her old nemesis Vileria mesolina. So she's now her nemesis kids kids mom so Britannicus. She's Britannicus's stepmom now. And she like older than them and all. Yep. All right. Oh other than the kids. Yeah. Yeah. She's a bit okay. It's not like that's got a new wife that's younger than you. Yeah. No, yeah. I think it's more age appropriate now, although I don't, I don't have to double check that. But if you had to teach your stepmom how to drive. That's too bad.

How am I going to live so everywhere? Because she's like still on her elves. That'd be fucked. No, is it coming that though? Nope, no, there isn't. That's just, I'm just having a quick look here. So Claudius was born. Oh, yeah, no, there was a bit of an age difference.

Claudius, of course, was his, yeah, sorry, I forgot, as her uncle. So he was born in 10 BC. So it's quite a big age difference. Of course, I of course was his, sorry, I forgot her, so uncle. So he was born in 10 BC. So it's quite a big age difference. So is Britannicus then also her cousin? Um, I think well, yes. So Britannicus is now her stepson and her cousin and her cousin. And her cousin, yeah. And her pet dog. And her bud laugh. Ding, ding, ding, ding, Britannicus! My eyes are smelting. Miss fine. To protect her position, Agrippena removed anyone from the Imperial court who she thought was a potential threat to her and her son, which makes sense if people were like her and everyone else, then that

would make sense you would want to get away anyone who might be coming for you. So she booted out people like Messylina's mum, D'Amedia, LaPita, the younger and a bunch of others who she saw as being loyal to Messylina. In 50 AD Agrippina was granted the title of Augusta, which was a great honor. She was only the second living Roman woman to receive this title. That same year, the place she was born was renamed colonial, Claudia, Arra, Agripenensis. So it was named after her. Such catchy names.

Yeah. The color, I've actually been in this city. It is now known as Cologne in Germany. Ah, ah, cool. So it's just a naming a place after you. Like, welcome to Jess That's no good or Gary Gary's good Gary no Gary is definitely a man called Gary demanding to have something named after him Yeah, that's not an honor. That's him. Yeah, he's breaking balls. Yeah, he's breaking wills people like fine

That is a man. I've never looked up who Gary was. That's what I'll be doing that later. Welcome to Matt. Please be a good guy. Oh, you're very, really a thing's named after good people. History doesn't go, you were real nice to everyone. I'm gonna give you this honor. Yeah, true. So yeah, so it's now Cologne.

Where are you from? I'm from Dave. Oh me too. Have you guys been to Cologne? No, just Berlin. I only spent a day there, but had a great time finally and I'll fit in an Irish pub. So cultured. So unlike you. American sports and an Irish pub in Germany. Now I was watching it was um champion league soccer um but yeah and I almost missed my overnight train to Munich because um this Irish girl was just by me Guinness after Guinness. I'm like all right one more and I literally with my backpack on at the I ran and my friends were holding the door open for me to get on the overnight train Which cost a hundred euros or something. It was really dumb. Oh, this time. Did you get on just vomit black stuff everywhere? And all the other passages are like oh, thank God he made it. Thanks to hold on the door for this fuck with

Thanks to hold on the door for this fuck with It's just black and they just think you're dying And they're like what's going on I think I I pretty I was a sleep pretty clear. It was a beautiful beautiful comfy train. Oh good But I did see the big dome there as well, and I went out for dinner. You feel the big one? The dome. It was like the big cathedral. Am I making that up?

I might be misremembering. Anyway, I think I just imagined a giant condom. And the big dome. You know, the big dome, I mean, that would be a tourist attraction in our country. We have big stuff. A big condom. Big dome.

The big dome. Not dome and dome. Dom, stuff big condom big dumb the big dumb not dumb and dumb dumb the big condom Do you think the big condom I've been calling them condoms for years I love passes to condom We didn't sign into your life, we did not want. Oh, I can't believe it. I feel like an absolute fool. Did I hit the shot love?

Yeah, I picked up some more condongs. Oh, they're your condongs. Should we go a six or a 12 pack? Six or last was the year, right? Kong dong So we got a six or a 12 pack Six the last is the year 12 what are you planning that's outrageous Look I was wondering if the guests were gonna break the service out of him. Really the guys should do. What are you playing? What are you playing?

That's how old it sounds like a... That an elderly couple. You're so old. Better be safe. What are you getting at, Blattin'? I did, I did once lose a bit, that I was sure for some reason that Arangutang was Aranutang, Arangutang? No, I don't know, I'm not even sure which one's right.

Is it Arangutang? Yeah. It's Arangutang. Tan. So the G's, yeah, so I lost a bit of saying it was a ran-a ran-a tang. Were you like doubling down like, nah nah. I'm definitely.

Yeah, it costed me five bucks, but it was because I had, I thought I'd read it and I'm like, I thought I was surprised by it as a fact. I'm like, no, I know. I know you don't think it. Neither did I. LAUGHTER Yeah!

Back to you. Turns out that we were a ranu tang. A ranu tang. Sounds delicious. Anyway, we're back in Cologne, or as it was known back then, some fucked up Latin thing. Yeah, what a wild, long name. So anyway, so that... she was getting all these sweet

honest things were looking pretty good for at the moment. She was top of the pop, right? Get all of the honest. She's back to the top of the pop. But probably the biggest thing to happen in 50 AD was Agrippena convinced Claudius to adopt her son Lucius as his own. Well, however, she convinced him to adopt her son Lucius as his own.

I would really have to say, she convinced him to adopt her, making her daughter and wife. And now sister to her stepchild, who was also her enemy. So it was her son adopt him and make him your son. Yes. It's very complicated. So even though he had a son already Britannicus

Who oh yeah, she she convinced him to take on Lucius as his own and basically put him into Next in line. He was sort of now the anointed one They also changed his name to Nero Claudius Caesar Drusius Germanicusicus. Not too many. Those people are really famous ramen people and put them all into one to make you sound

like the ultimate guy. Well, you know, the famous Nero. This is the famous Nero. So... Is that the guy from the Matrix? Nero. Because it's an anagram of Ron. I am Ron.

Dave looked at me then with a mixture of hate and are you fucking stupid? No, I was trying to be like, is he? Am I an I mentioned Morpheus? I thought I was like, you've really fucked that, yes. Oh, Neo, that's much closer. Bro, bro. Also, that chain of cafes, it's on every corner in London.

Yeah. And they're everywhere. Matt's memory of London was still there some cards. He didn't go in. No, your memory of London was the inside of an Irish pub. I don't know. I don't know. I think I was only at an Irish pub that night because there

was some big football matches on. And that was the only place that we could find showing. I'm not just going from Irish. I normally I would much prefer to go to a German pub in Germany. Sure. Why was a bouncer with the next night? I was in a classic Bavarian pub, tricking stones and big pretzels.

Also drinking the pretzels, but I was having, it was great fun time. Anyway, so yeah, so this means now she's got him to preference her son over his own to be the next good. I'd just be like saying Britannicus had said some fucked things. I'm like it's really hard. Britannicus was saying you wanted to murder you. Yeah. You kept saying that. I had a chat to him about it. I think I think you're safe. For now. Yeah, I talked him down. But he's cried he you'd be everything everyone said you'd question. Yeah But not your wife

Hey, if you can't trust your wife your third wife and niece Third one can you trust when you murdered the first two because you didn't trust You know you're doing something wrong And her ex-husband's almost seriously died yeah because they weren't wearing condoms 12 what are you playing it what are you not just being being thrifty Dave it's cheaper character in Dave's act out. No, that was Dave. Oh, that was, yeah. That was all Dave. That was a scene from my life.

A diary written from my perspective. My diary, you can say. My diary, yes. I want to keep. So you remember how they blocked the marriage between Salinas and Claudia's daughter. Claudia. Octavia. Yeah.

And that was because Agrippina kind of wanted, would have preferred them to marry her son, Lucius Neneiro. Well, that's what happened. They. Array! Because her other partner killed himself. Which I think it didn't certainly be mentioned, but if I'm following, that means their brother and sister,

right? Like adopted brother and it's not blood, but, or they're somewhat blood related, but now that he was adopted by Claudius. Yeah. Isn't that making him marrying his sister? But that wasn't mentioned. So maybe I did, my brain got tangled up around this one.

Anyway, so now they're going to be married, Octavia and Nero. It is going to be, remember on the clear pattern of a story, when you look up her family story, it is basically a straight line. Yeah right. They're all related to it. Well because of all these fan-outs, because of all these marriages and stuff, this family tree there's lines going everywhere. Yeah. And they you know it's yeah and it's a fascinating to look at even the simplified one Wikipedia's got a simplified family tree. And it's still hard to fall. And it's still, well, yeah, it's hard enough because there's different lines going between different,

I mean, like at the moment we've got a married couple who's also niece and uncle. Yeah. So there's what's going on. So Octavia and Nero married on the 9th of June, 53 AD. In the following year, Claudius started to regret his decision to favor Nero over his own son and started preparing Britannicus for the throne instead

Obviously, this did not sit sit well with Agropena and it is thought that on the 13th of October 54 AD She poisoned the Emperor. He definitely was poison, but it's thought was poisoned by Agropena She loves a good poison and well gosh poison by Agropena. She loves a good poison. Oh gosh. It's not definitive. Some believe that he may have just died of natural causes as well. Natural poisoning. But it seems like that might be a bit too convenient. Either way, he was 63 years old when he died and that paved the way for Nero to become Emperor when he was just 16 years old. Right, so she killed him before he could change it back to make his own son the next in line. Yeah, okay, that is very convenient for her.

Yeah. No, no, I just died of natural causes. Yeah, on the way to post this letter at the office that would make my son no longer the next in line. It also caught flames. Caught a flame somewhere. No, no, no. Yeah, weird. So, I'm weird. I a flame somewhere. No, no, it weird. It's like I grazed weird. And I'm morning. Yeah. Big time. Because I miss him. My husband.

My uncle. My uncle. Or ankbind. Is hunkle a term? Already? Because that feels hot hunkle. It's like a milked urion? Oh, hunkle. I mean, it's still kind of gross, but hunkle. It's fun to say. Yeah, it's my favourite of all there. Thank you.

Milk skilfs. Dilfs. Dilf. Hunkle. Hunkle. Hunkle all day. Sort of. Get busy and or get, no, hunkle. I'm going to hunkle down for the winter. That's when you're going to fuck your uncle for the winter.

What are you playing in? In the early days of Nero's reign, Agrippena was basically running the show. Obviously, because it was quite young, she showed a lot of influence, but this didn't last too long. While he was younger, it was easier for Agrippena to influence the way her son ran the show. She dressed him. Yeah. What, his bum?

He's like, mum, I'm the Emperor and I'm 17. He comes to airplane. Thanks, mom. But it still sounds like he wasn't super keen to listen to her political advice. So she installed a few advisors who were loyal to her, or at least she thought they were, including philosopher Lucius.

Not a Lucius. Fucking hell, I'm sure I'm confused. Anius Seneca, I'm confused. Anius Seneca, gonna call this guy Seneca, and Sextus, Oh yeah. Aphranius, Boris.

Sextus. Sextus, Boris. Or I'll call him Sextus, who was commander of the Praetorian Guard. Dave, what's the Praetorian Guard? I can't help you. Doesn't matter. So like, in my head,

they sound like dinosaurs. So I'm imagining it. head, they sound like dinosaurs. So I'm imagining an army of dinosaurs. As my T-Rex noise. It wasn't very good. I enjoyed it. Thank you. Baby T-Rex.

I do a little arms too. You know, it's real fun. But did you look at Baby T-Rex? Yeah, Baby T-Rex. Thank you. Amazing from an egg. Now it's a good time. That's what the Protaurian guard were. They were Baby T-Rex. Thank you. Emerging from an egg. Now's the good time. That's what the Protaur and Guard were.

They were baby T-Rex. Now's a good time to tell you I have a role in the Jurassic World franchise. What? That's a baby dinosaur emerging from an egg. Yep, they were like, our CGI is really good now, but let's just paint Jess's face like a little dinosaur, let it come out of an egg for a bit.

CGI is so 2017. And they pay one now. It's women pay to the start of school. Yeah, I've got paid heaps for it. Really? That's good. Yeah, I'm loaded now. That's so good.

Yeah, thank you. Yeah, thanks. Well, happy boy. Thank you so much. I don't need this podcast anymore. I'm too famous for it now. You are. Well, once that movie comes out, oh my God.

That's why I'd so nasty you stuck with us. Close the door, the entire on the way out. This will be my final episode. What? Now she tells us. You're breaking hearts all over the world, man. Oh, sorry, but my bank account is full. I can't fit any more money in there. They couldn't add another zero.

I wouldn't fit them a laptop screen. Oh, that sweet podcasting money would just take you over the top. Yeah. I couldn't, I can't do it. Sorry. Bye, everyone. I'm a dinosaur now. What a cliche.

I just want to sell it. We always knew what would happen. It's matter of time. I'm a dinosaur. I'm a dinosaur. I'm a dinosaur. I'm a dinosaur. I'm a dinosaur. So now what a cliche We always knew what happened I'm a dinosaur now How do I need you? We've been counting down to the day she said that So she's installed these two

He installed these two... Reminds their name, Sextus and Sextus and Seneca. And Seneca, who was his description again? He was a philosopher. Philosopher. And the other ones, the Prechorean guy. Yes, the Dhanis. Maybe Dhanis, sort of. The idea was that this would help her maintain control over Nero via them, so she'd

be able to, you know. Right, devil on the shoulder, aimed on the other side. Yeah, and she's goes, I want you to give them this sort of advice. But it sounds like it didn't quite work that way. Seneca and Boris, sorry, sex this. Thank you. Started to encourage Nero to do things

that Agrapina wouldn't approve of. We start a fire. We didn't start a fire. Oh, so for a second, I didn't get that. He famously started a big fire. But now there's doubt, I believe, I was reading there's doubt about that, but I didn't go into it because that feels like he's a whole other topic, right? Yeah, sure.

Um, I know nothing about that. What the idea is that he played fiddle or something. Is that right? No, he was in the Matrix. Oh. He was in the Matrix. Oh. He was in the Matrix while Ron Byrne. Yeah. That makes sense.

I said that before. You did, I'm sorry. Yeah, so I thought of Morpheus, I'm sorry. Laurence Fishburn. Damn it. Fishburn. Fishburn. Ron Byrne Fishburn.

What temperature did a fish burn? 309 degrees Celsius. I mean, yeah, anything would burn that degrees, to be honest, not anything, but food for sure. Yeah. What about a rock? Maybe, depends on what it is. Ignis, I'll met a more fierce.

That sounds like a thing that I should understand. Just by the way, it looked at me with his eyebrows. Looking at Pawn Morpheus. Yeah, well, it's not really Meta Morpheus. Okay. That's very good. Matt, just go on. Just go on.

We're very close, then. We've got, we're into the last of the emperors. Okay, so the two advisors are telling him to do some bits. Stuff like dating a woman who's of lower status. Yes. Yuck. Ew. So we're being for an advisor to say.

Yucky. It's just probably a massive babe. Yeah. Yeah, go for it, man. It's just a babe. I would. Bruh. Bruh. You're the emperor. You can have anyone. Yeah, give me a brochake. Yep You're up. Yeah, where bros 17 year old Emperor. Oh he Dayton

I'm pretty much off your dog out again I caught in according to modern historian Miriam Griffin, it was not the intention of Seneca and sexist that Agrippena be removed from the scene. Their influence over Nero depended largely on the fact that they provided a refuge from her tactless and arrogant demands. Ooh, brutal. So like being his friends, really. Yeah, shoulder crying on.

That's right, well they, even though she was like, your loyal to me, do, you know, help me out, they were like, really, we're probably loyal to the Emperor and the state, and we want things to be right. So they were being like, what a bitch. I'm begging out them, I'm not a bitch. What a bitch.

Their tactics did lead to an agri-pain-a-losing control of a bitch. I'm begging out of them. What a bitch. Their tactics did lead to a Agrippena losing control of a son. There were rumors at the time that in a desperate attempt to maintain Nero's loyalty, she seduced him. And some said that that did happen and they boned. But it sounds like this is not a viewed hell bone bottom. Who about to there? Agrippenaone Nero.

Who's that? Yes. To try and subdue it. To try to, well, to try to go, you know, use a feminine, whatever. Don't look at me and do that weird little gesture you're doing. Feminine wiles. Is that what they say?

I guess. Or is it wiles? That's fuck. But any, that's fuck. That's fuck. But any... That's fuck. That's fuck. Yes, yes. But apparently that was just a rumor at the time, and it's very baseless.

Okay. I'm right, so that's not it. I mean... I've seen you being a bad boy. Oh, Dave! No! All right. Who's your mummy? You are. Oh fuck.! All right. Who's your mummy?

You are. Oh, damn right. Is that all? Sexess? Give us five. Five, that's generous. Yeah, so apparently that, that, that, that, that doesn't hold up. It didn't happen.

What is agreed though, is that Nero and Agrippena were becoming increasingly wary of each other. Around 56 AD, Nero kicked his mom out of the palace and started taking away her powers. Get out of here, mum. Get out of here. Agrippena started taking preemptive anodotes to common poisons, such was her fear of the plot to kill her.

Anodotes? Anodotes. plot to kill her. Anodotes? Anodotes. What did I say? Anodotes. Anodotes. You can say anodot. Yeah, which is the big fear. Yeah. I think that was...

Anodot, so you must pronounce both words at once. I feel like I didn't want to sound like an idiot. So she was right to be wary, because Nero was fearing his mother's influence and he knew what she was capable of because he lived it. She's killed before. So he knew, so he was like, if I'm on there wrong, I don't want to be on the other side of it. If I am, then I want her eliminated, basically.

One of his advisors, Sexess agreed to carry out Nero's plan only if there was evidence of Agrippina plotting against him, but there was no evidence found. So growing impatient Nero went ahead with a different plan. And this is like a relatively famous one where he rigged a boat to sink with her on it. Oh shit. What? What? Because they were talking initially they're like poisoning or just stab, you know, classic sort of just going, but it would be like, this is too obvious. Let's fake an accident. It's a lot easier to go, oh, that's what a tragic thing to do.

Absolutely amazing. Wow. Apparently, she was aware of the plan. I saw in some of the reports, but she bought of the boat anyway. The boat's lead ceiling collapsed as planned, but it failed to sink the vessel. And as such, the crew had to make sure that the boat went under. You know, the guys on the boat had to make it go down.

They were baling water into the boat went under. You know, the guys on the boat had to make it go down. They were bailing water into the boat. But even this wasn't enough to finish off Agrippina as she was able to escape the wreckage and swim ashore where she was met by an adoring crowd. Oh my God! It was applauded. And I bet she looked really good.

Yeah. She's wearing bikini. Flick in the hair. Yeah, I was like one of those famous bond. Yeah. It was like Julian Craig or whatever coming out. Ursula Andrews. Daniel Craig. There we go. And then the original one is Ursula Andrews. Wow. Nero was now shit scared because he's like, she knows now. She knows. It's not a we can even, there's no pretense anymore. That was pretty clear that I was trying to kill her

because they, it didn't work. The accident didn't work, so they had to like, it's like why are you guys trying to think this boat? We don't hold me under. So he organized to have him murdered by a member of the Navy, you know, forgetting even the preensive of an accident. I just fucking kill her.

Please. And this time the plot was successful. And on March the 23rd, 59 AD, Agrippana was killed in her sleep. Always in the sleep. Yeah, it's probably a good way to go to be honest. I don't want to be aware of it. Yeah, they say in a sleep, but I mean, like how they killing you.

And imagine it's, you were asleep minutes before you died, but I imagine usually being murdered. Can you, I don't know, unless it's like a gas or something. I doubt it. Yeah, like if they start strangling you or something, you'd wake up. You're like, oh man. Yeah. Yeah. Go back to. Oh. Yeah, like if they start strangling you or something, you know, like, you wake up. Like,

Going back to Marge turn off the TV. Nero went on to rule for a further nine years. His reign ended with his own death on the 9th of June, 68 AD. Apparently he was, they were coming for him. He was, the plan was to kill himself and then he was like, some of June, 68 AD apparently, he was, that was common for him. He was, the plan was to kill himself and then he was like, some of his loyalists were around him and he goes, you kill yourself first, get us rolling.

Like, he was like, didn't have the guts to do it. He's like, you go first and then he still never and then he ended up getting someone else to kill him for. So someone else killed themselves and he's like, yeah, that really, that didn't look good. That didn't look fun. I don't enjoy that. Roman, and his death also signaled the end of the Julio Cordian dynasty, which began at the start of this report basically.

So there's the five emperors of that dynasty, I think. Wow. Cool. I think of it as a dynasty. That's insane. And I mean, we all have sort of quirks in the family, you know? Oh. Yeah, like everyone's family is different.

There's always these different dynamics when you talk to people like, ah, we don't talk to that uncle anymore or blah, blah, blah. But this stuff is a hundred levels up. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. Through her laugh, it's been alleged that she was responsible for 10 murders, something like husbands and enemies and...

Like a crime boss. Yeah. Yeah, it does feel a bit like that, like a very, very, very early mafia. Roman historian, I'm giving historian the Roman treatment there. Roman historian, Takadus, described the post-agropanar years of Nero's reign saying that he plunged into the wildest improprietories, which vestiges of respect for his mother and had hithero not indeed repressed, but at least impeded. So, it's like the shackles were off.

He was a wildcat while she was alive. But then he was. When it was just like orgies and all sorts of wild, just no more rules. It was just like, but it'd gone helpful ever. Well, you know that somebody's going to kill you at some point. So I reckon if you make it to Emperor, just fucking live, you know, party it up, do whatever you want. But I'm at what it surely didn't none of them seem to have a crack at just being a good leader who looked after everyone's best interest. Oh, no.

That's so cute, man. Come on, Matt. Bit naive, you think? Yeah, naive. You don't have time for that. You've got to worry about yourself. Good point. I'm dead.

You've got 900 people that are going to knock you off around every corner. You can't even get a sleep. That's true. Oh, if you're going to get a sleep, have a snake next to you, Ben. Yes, a fake snake. Fake snake. Otherwise I could go really wrong. You can't get a real snake.

I don't know. Oh. You just, you're out, all right, not a little snake. Mm. Oh, great. Now I got a bloody snake bottom, a tongue, and my tongue is gone now. Oh, that tongue is gone. No, that tongue.

Well, luckily I've been taking all this antithode. Yeah, but the snake's just trying to give you a little kiss. A little peck. She's saying, no, not not. So I guess what a tacitess, autasitist was suggesting there was that agropanol was a great influence on Nero, held him back and potentially even some of his great accomplishments were in some way owed a debt to her.

Right, before you just went off the rails. Yes, so she held him in check and made him somewhat of a competent ruler, maybe. But I mean, with everything, there's just different opinions on the other side. There's people that love her and people that hate her and ever in between. I think she was just like a real, not very nice person. And some people are like, yeah.

This is the last paragraph here is from biography.hordicciinary.com. And that suggests that perhaps Nero's notorious misconduct was an effort to find distraction or respite from guilt from killing his mother. According to Roman historian, the Roman historian, Dio Cassius, Nero frequently saw his mother's ghost and rarely had a good night's sleep. So apparently he just didn't live with the guilt for the rest of his life. Wow. And that's why he became a party boy just trying to numb the pain. Wow.

What's many of them do? With sex, drugs, and alcohol. Anyway, that's sort of, that's my attempt at the story of this, of this wild story. So there was.... And in any of those eras, you could just do like expand it out. For sure. Yeah. Get it in so deeply. Well done. We attach all the references. I'd love, like, I mean, there's a great, if you do like Roman history, and you want to get into it properly. Dave and I, I'm pretty sure Dave as well, we both listen to this great podcast series. It's one of the most famous podcasts

out there, probably hardcore histories. Dan Carlin. And it was called The One About the Roman Empire, or it's called Death Throws of the Republic. When you have to, you have to buy it now on his website. It's about $2 a piece, but each episode is about four hours. So it's basically paying painting dollar for an audiobook and he is the most gripping solo storyteller of ever. Yeah, so good. You just get caught up in his enthusiasm for it. And his many quotes.

Quotes, yeah, quote. And he quotes original sources and he gives a lot of great analogies, I think, as well. He really brings you in. But he talks about just before this. I was gonna say, this is now the Roman Empire, which followed on from the Republic. Which I mean, all of that is,

I make my head explode, but I love it so much. I wish I could just have all the info injected into my brain. That'll be amazing. Don't know the internet's everything. Because I'm such an idiot. I just don't retain anything. You're not an idiot, Jess. I'm a bit of an idiot.

I disagree. I couldn't follow most of that today. Yeah, but that would be that. But I did enjoy the bit about condoms. See, there's something for everyone. I'm an idiot. I feel like I didn't, I didn't nail that and I probably kept too many of the names in that we were just distracting. I should have probably broken the stories down more, but I ended up sort of just giving

like, hey, there's a lot of sugar could have would have here. No, I feel I feel I honestly, I a lot of didn't. The names there were a lot, but at the end, I still feel I know what happened. Yeah, I feel like of didn't. The names there were a lot, but at the end, I still feel I know what happened. Yeah, I feel like I do too. So I hopefully it translated somewhat over to. But yeah, this is the first, I think this is the first episode we've done

about Roman times at all, potentially. We did Cleopatra. Cleopatra, sorry, not Roman times, but the, yes, very good. Another woman. I remember he was the only one he could. No, she was part of the end of the Republic. Right. So, yeah. And then when she, so when he wanted to go over to, when

Caligula wanted to go to Alexandria, that would have been to hang out with pharaohs. These are, see, these are questions that I know. And by that time, Alexandria's Andrea was part of Rome. Right. Or the Empire. Yeah. So he kind of wanted it. He was wanting to go to an outpost almost.

Yeah. So there would have been a lot of stuff there. Like then, the Alexandria library. That was the most famous library in the ancient world. A lot of theater. Oh, big time. Strippers. Yeah.

He would have loved it. He would have collegial loved it Anyway, that wraps up the report. Thanks so much for listening you guys. Yeah, thank you very much for joining us and Yes, we Appreciate you That was suggested by Claire Jones. It was in such a close Patreon vote it was level we had to go into overtime and got up by one. I'll probably put the runner up in a future hat to get voted on again,

because obviously people... I liked it as well. It would be like a hover hat. A hover hat. Or a hat that has Wi-Fi. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Pops out. Obviously. Obviously sorry, that was just stupid. Or a hologram hat. So actually there, so you don't get hat hair, but you get the look of it. Oh, great. I love that.

With none of the sun blocking benefits. No. But the fashion. Fashion, it's just a fashion hat. It's just a fashion hat. I'm just wearing a fashion hat. I'm not here for, please. I'm just wearing a fashion heart. I'm not here for, please. I'm not wearing a Legionnaire's hat.

It's a fashion heart. Obviously. Hey Dave, would you lead us in this week's pre-tour, Patreon supporters? Yes. Thanks B, to the Patreon. Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Patreon. Well, I found something that didn't come up at all, but

reading through it like the year 33 A.D. came up at one point there. So that's, that's the year Jesus was crucified. Is that right? We should do a Jesus episode. Yeah, I suppose so, because I just say it's 33 But I imagine that there would have been some at somewhere along the lines I was probably some blip in the calendar that made everything just out or something, but anyway, it doesn't matter Our Patreon supporters are a big part of why we continue to put out a show every single week for a hundred and

34 weeks in a row now. So we appreciate your support week actually. Can I do it without you? And anyone who listens every week and feels like that they want to give back to the show can hit up our Patreon. The link's in the description of this episode or patreon.com slash do go on pod and an exchange for your support. You also get bonus stuff that no one else gets, including now two not one but two bonus episodes per month, and also other stuff, including a shout out at the end of the episode. So what do you think Jess, it's episode 134, as I said.

We've got to thank these people. What are we going to give them? Well, I was thinking either giving them, and how she was like a group, a group of the younger. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's gonna give them a thus something. That's good. I like that.

But I also thought that at the very beginning of the show, and then I thought, no, give the boys a chance to think of something amazing. No, that's great. I would have only gone with something like, let's give them a Latin name, but that's confusing. It's so hard. We're already confused.

So I think the, the something is good. Yeah, keep it simple, because I'm the idiot. And Dave, if you feel inspired by a Latin for any of these, please feel free to throw that in as well. Oh, okay. I definitely will. Who should we, should I lean off? Yeah, go straight. I would like to thank all the way from Schena Hill in London. Hello, I'm at the hour with London. Schena Hill. Well, Sun Hill was where the bill was set. It was always Sun Hill Police Station. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton.

I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton.

I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton.

I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I'm a skeleton. I said you're nicked and that always look like fuck fuck But nicked off anyway from skin hill or sun hill in London I'd like to thank Tom Beasley Tom Beasley the nika Oh The nika not the nickers now the nika You're nicked all right Tom you're nicked He's not jacked the back to haunt us. Oh God. Good on your time, appreciate you support. Matt, you just went with your gap.

That was great. Zanika, I love it. Good for you. You can't tell from being serious. Well, either way, I'm offended. I meant it. You're either giving me a shit or you give me a compliment for talking a little bit. Yeah, it was great.

Great talking. Who else you got Dave? You talked a lot today, man. Yeah, I'm sorry. Dave. Now, I would like to thank someone who's been supporting following the show for a long time, including us, often on the last couple of years. And I'm embarrassed to say I'm going to mispronounce her name.

Okay. But I'm going to give it a go. But I'm going to give it a go and I really appreciate this for, because like I say, she's been following us for a long time. Gemma Akeem Pong. I mean, probably pretty well there. Gemma Akeem Pong, who's currently studying in the USA, but she is a track and field runner originally from Ghana

and has represented Ghana at the Olympics. And the recent Commonwealth Games in Australia. Really, didn't see that. Yeah, she's on the Gold Coast in the real estate. Oh, how cool. That's awesome. I don't know that. I just want to say Gemma the Olympian.

Yes, that is so, so cool. Because I don't think I've ever known an Olympian before. And then when you first started following us and tweeting us, it just blew my mind that an Olympian was listening. Yeah, it was really really fun to be honest It's really really cool, Gemma, so we wish you all the best with all your studies and also your running because that is so so cool May I have a go? Yes, I would like to wait. What do you what do you give? I said the Olympian. Oh the Olympian the Olympian which is very good I mean What are you giving? Oh, I said the Olympian. Oh, the Olympian. The Olympian, which is very good. I'm a junior. If she's got the Olympic tattoo,

because then I want a lot of Aussie, it's like a tradition for, especially the swimmers to get the rings tattooed. Yeah, Aussie's do seem to do that, but others do as well, don't they? I was wondering, I don't know. Maybe, Gemma let us know, have you got the Olympic tattoo?

I feel like you can, there can't be something just we do, right? So, well, I image, I'm just like the radio announcer and comedian, you're also good at done. Melissa Wu has it on her leg, but in hearts. It's big. Anyway, hearts, but like a Olympic color, the Olympic colors and Olympic rings are all joined, but they're circles of hearts.

Well, the Olympic, the IOC would freak out about that. That's not they, they like own every Even me, you mentioning the word Olympics, they're probably gonna sue us. Yeah. Wow, we are fucked. Yeah, can I have a go? Do you wanna go? Please, no, please.

Okay, here's the answer. So I'm gonna do it. All right, I would like to thank from Woodville, WA, Washington, WA. Yeah. Woodville, Washington, Erin Sterling. That's a good name. Erin. Woodville, Washington. Aaron Stirling. That's a good name.

Aaron Stirling is very good. Is it Woodville or Woodenville? Woodenville. Woodenville. I told you I'm the idiot. I don't know what you're expecting of me. It's amazing how I'm littered at all. Aaron Stirling is a great name.

Aaron Stirling the liar. I went wood, Pinocchio. Oh, okay. Pinocchio lies. Oh, I love seeing the journey. Aaron Sterling, I mean, it's not very complimentary, Aaron, I'm sorry. The liar. But if you're a deceiver.

Okay, that's good. Because if you're a good deceiver back in these Roman times, you'd live. You needed that. Aaron's a positive man. I know, do you open or a second? No, yes, say it. Say that. Aaron's positive. I was, see, I know, do you open a second? No, yeah, so yeah, say it, make it positive. Aaron sterling the pounder. Pound sterling.

I know someone who's next name is Pounder, but for a different reason. They're a baker? Yeah, look. Killer boy. Girl. The pounder. The pounder's a guy.

No, just Pounder. That's a real, that sounds like a killer boy girl the panda yeah the panda's a great panda that's a real like that sounds like a crack and like a real tough Nickname great like a volleyball Panda she like a lot of McDonald's is it sure? She volleyball or something like that. Yeah, wow all these things are coming through there. She's a boxer So thank you Aaron. She's she's the boxer. So thank you, Erin. So many things. She's a complicated person. And I would also like to thank,

from Essex in Great Britain, Jordan Elmer. Elmer. Fudder. The fudder. The fudder. Elmerder. Elmerder. What about Jordan, Elemada. Elemada. Elemada.

What about Jordan, the Elma? I like it. Or Jordan Elma, the Grenada. Yes. Eurea, Emma. Camp Grenada. Marge, is Lisa and Camp Grenada. So what are we going with there?

Do we say the Grenada? I like it. Sure. I like it. What does that mean to you? Well, Granada is in the south of Spain. So he's the place the Granada. Yeah, good. Oh, no, what about the Alumbra, which is a very like a famous Arabic Castle in Granada. That's pretty good. Jordan Elma the Alumbra. Love it Can I? Yes, that's bring us home. Please.

I'd love to think. Because you've been nailing the names all night. So let's go with it. From Kingston and Tasmania, a place I've visited many times. Mr. Robert Radell. Oh, the Radell is back. Oh.

Which is what we've called him before. I think we've got to give him a knee knee, man. Okay. We appreciate this. The robber. Radell has been a big supporter of us for a long time. We appreciate this. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber.

The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber.

The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber.

The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. The robber. He relax or does he relax you? Hi. He's always on you, like doing that classic neck massage. Hey, oh, we get real deep. He doesn't feel a little chubby. Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than that. No, but he knows. There's some real time.

No one do that to you. He wouldn't do that to you. He'd read you a book. Yeah, thank you, the relaxer. He's just like a really chill dude. He's relaxed, but he also calms everybody else down. He's great and a crisis, you know? Arah, the relaxer, love it.

Yes, yes! Yes! And finally, this week from Texas in the United States of America, I'd love to thank Power Couple, Stephanie and Evan Keller. The Hellens. Hellen. No, that's dumb. Hellen Keller's. Yeah. Hellens, the Hell Helen. Helen. No, that's dumb.

Helen Kellers. Yeah. Helen's the Helen's. No, you got to call him as a couple name. The devil's. I like the, I like the, the, the, the, the, the idea that they, the, the, the, the, the, okay. Mmm.

Maddie, you okay? Mmm. So I just came too. Mad are you okay? Mmm. Hahaha. So I just came too. Is that really what's saying going on? What are you doing? What are you guys doing up to? Hahaha.

Hahaha. Mmm. Oh dear. This is yours, Bob. I think what do you got? I mean, I just can't with that. And you don't like to me. Oh, the miracle workers.

Why? Which is the Helen Keller to play. It's called the miracle worker. The miracle workers. Oh, yeah. Oh, the Miracle Workers. Why? Which is the Helen Keller to play. It's called the Miracle Workers. The Miracle Workers.

Together. Because they are a miracle. Well, they are. They are a dream. They're their Hashtag couples' goals. I think we slipped from the internet original. I like that. I like how we morphed on the way through and it became something more, so much more. So, so much more. Sorry, I just

came too. Why also came? What do you got in mind? Our key phrase from today's episode is what do you have in mind? A 12 pack. Why do you plan it? What are you planning? What are you planning? Uh, well that is... Three expiring three easy and junky. Oh my god. I'm not going to do it once every three months. It's fucking insane. My dick will fall off.

I'm not an animal. Well, that is it for another week. Thank you to everyone that supports us at Patreon. You can always drop us a line at any time. Suggest a topic. There's a link in the description of this episode. If you follow it, it takes you to a little form. You fill out your details. You tell us an idea for a topic.

And also, you get to pitch it to us. Tell us why we should do it. Did this one jump out of you because it was a sweet dish? It did have it had a really good pitch. If you give us a. You are very. Oh, my one mat does that. I'll tell you you can also email us do go on part of gmail.com or at do go on part of all on all social media. We always post extra stuff. We've also got a YouTube channel that gets a lot of hate from people that don't know us. And we don't care. So if you want to go in there and give us some love on YouTube, that's always nice. This is what Claire Jones under the what do you think would, why do you think this would be an interesting topic?

It was that Claire Jones wrote, she was a bologna, such a cool life story. Her son tried to kill her three times because he wanted her power, but she wouldn't die. I mean, she did. So she's not quite right. She did. She did. But a great pitch. Real good pitch.

It's a good elevator pitch. Working the elevator pitch, then submit it to us. Then we'll do your topic. topic. I was in with Bola No, you're planning every suggestion is gonna start with now. They're a Bola That'll be fun. All right, so thanks again for listening guys We've been be back next week with another new app, but until then also. Thank you and good bye Bye! Bye! Bye!

Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!

Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!

Bye! Bye! This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field, with plenty of growth

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