Two In The Think Tank - 150 - Wild Conspiracy Theories

Episode Date: September 5, 2018

To celebrate out 150th episode we decided to write three "mini" reports, each on a wild conspiracy theory. Recorded live at the Giant Dwarf Theatre in Sydney, this episode was so much fun. Keep readin...g for a list of conspiracies we talk about, or listen now and go in not knowing...Conspiracies covered on this episode include: Denver Aiport, Saddam Hussein's Stargate, Flat Earthers, Australia does not exist, Michael & La Toya Jackson and The poisoning of Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko.Melbourne LIVE show on October 13th : https://www.moshtix.com.au/v2/event/do-go-on-live/105917?&skin=4406&ref=hwlrUK shows : https://dogoonpod.com/events/Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSubmit a topic idea directly to the hat: http://bit.ly/DoGoOnHat Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: dogoonpod@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.
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Starting point is 00:01:23 You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus Visit PlanetBroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to an intro to another episode of Do Go On. Dave here with Jess and Matt Hey Dave. Hey Dave. Oh hey Dave. And we're very excited to announce that this episode that you're about to listen to was recorded live at the Sydney Opera House where we performed. They had to open the roof because there were so many people there. They were all the people. Yeah, that was you.
Starting point is 00:02:08 I don't know. I don't know. Because there were so many people there. I mean, I mean, they used the roof as an emergency exit. There were over 600,000 people in there and I don't know if anyone got out. Oh, so they kind of went on top of each other. No, we got out and then we closed the roof again
Starting point is 00:02:23 and said everyone for themselves. Yeah, thank goodness. So you're going to hear a top of each other. No, we got out and then we closed the roof again, said everyone for themselves. Yeah, thank goodness. So you're good to hear a lot of mayhem. A lot of screaming, but I think there's a bit of comedy in there somewhere. Maybe, I don't know, maybe somebody there was funny. No, but it is alive. It is alive, so we recorded very recently at the Giant Dwarf Theatre, which is a fantastic venue.
Starting point is 00:02:41 It was our biggest show yet and people came and sold it out, and it blew our minds and we were very happy. And it is colloquially known as the Opera House of Redfern. Yes. Yes. I heard that a lot. Yeah. People asked me for directions, and I meant,
Starting point is 00:02:55 do you mean to the Opera House of Redfern? And they'd go, duh! Obviously I do. Yeah. I'm not an idiot. Yeah. I'm not an idiot. Is there anything we need to explain
Starting point is 00:03:04 any sort of visual things, Dave? There was some very vocal audience members, but I do hope the microphones have picked them up for you and I'll edit it to make sure it makes sense to you at home. And yeah. But the audience were having a great time and if you want to experience that good time in the flesh, we are coming to the UK. All the shows are now sold out except for one Birmingham show. But we're also doing a Bon Voyage show in Melbourne at Howl at coming up in October 13th.
Starting point is 00:03:27 Saturday afternoon, so if you want to come along and you want to be a vocal audience member, please come along, don't be vocal. I just booked in the book. Don't go in your laughter. I've just talked into the management howl about the timings and there's a solid hour after the show that we're going to be able to hang out, to chat to people and whatever, so that should be real fun. We love to chat.
Starting point is 00:03:52 Oh, we live to chat. Yeah. I think you meant to say. And we chat to live. It's our job. Ha ha. That's right, but it was a lot of fun, and we'd like to thank everyone that came along.
Starting point is 00:04:02 So without any further delay, here is our episode live the giant wolf theater the upper house of red Please enjoy Yes, thank you, Matt. I look to you. You needed to sign off on this signing off There it is. Hello. Good evening ladies ladies and gentlemen welcome to another episode of Do a Go On, my name is Dave Warnecke how you doing? Oh man that is so so cool, I really hope you've kept some energy to welcome to the stage my two beautiful co-hosts, match Jordan just purgans like gentlemen Hello everybody how you up hi That was real good that felt so good
Starting point is 00:05:10 I'm like I'll leave this to Jess she's got it and was not wrong And last to sit down thank you As the best! Normally we're on shitty barstalls Now I feel like we're on shitty barstalls. Now I feel like we're doing a Q&A. Yeah, the reason I made this film was because I just felt underrepresented in media. Mmm. Mmm.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Jess, Jess, let me do the feminism around here, please. I'll fill this one. Um, what Jess was trying to say. Jess, Jess, let me do the feminism around here, please. I'll fill this one. What Jess was trying to say. I'll be the feminist here if I can say that. Does anyone have any cues? We have a lot of ideas, all right. A lot of us.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Thank you so much for coming out to this beautiful venue of giant dwarf. Give it up for giant dwarf ladies and gentlemen. Look at this button. Hello. We just made eye contact. I thought I needed to acknowledge it. Hey Dave, remember when we met those guys just before? Yeah. And we scared the shit out of them. It's got scared again because he was on his phone. Oh, he's talking about it. So we're walking out the street.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Marnier on business. Come to a traffic light. We're waiting to cross. These three lovely young gentlemen of Stendi there. One of the guys tends around and goes, Huh! Which I get a lot, to be honest. Mostly because I stand far too close to people.
Starting point is 00:06:43 And I touch the buttons. Yeah, that may have been why he was reacting like that. Sorry. Sorry. That's not with me. Oh, we've got it early. It's all right. Everything's going to be fine.
Starting point is 00:06:57 It kind of feels like we're padding. We have a plan to do this. Usually we do a report, but nah. Hey, Dave, do that be where you're asked people have to have been here before. I'll do that. Okay, Dave. Alright, I'll follow. Do that bit.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Alright, I'll follow the script. Well, Jeremy, give us a big round of applause if you've ever heard our show, Do Go One, before! Thank you, thank you. Now, I got from that that a lot of you have, and I also got that you and you have heard it the most. The reaction was amazing, thank you so much. Give me a big round of applause, seriously big, if you've never heard do-go-one in your lives.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Amazing. Nothing to celebrate, mate. Nothing to celebrate, mate. Nothing to celebrate. You were, honestly, it was a small percentage, but you were Keener as a whole. To let us know. Dave, look at the positive. He's got the whole back catalog in his feature.
Starting point is 00:07:56 Yeah. Because ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to tell you that this is episode 150. Woo! That's it. This feels like Oprah. Like, they're too willing to clap. 150 This feels like Oprah like they're too willing to clap You get a car you get a car
Starting point is 00:08:21 He fucking idiots it's it's that easy and Oprah never gave anyone cars either It's just a Yeah, she just said it a lot. Yeah. She got a lot of people's hopes up. And I was like, oh my god. I mean, working eight jobs. And then they left waiting for their keys. And then I just got ushered out of the building. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Oh, really ruining the Oprah magic there. Anyway, let's do that. If you haven't heard the show before, Matt, would you like to tell them what the show is all about? OK. I did tell you I was going to have that prepared. Yes. And as you were asking me, I remember, I did not.
Starting point is 00:08:59 We have had a bit. All right. I'll remember, though. I've done it 149 times, as a person, you two bloody blow-ins. I, um, yeah, that's right, we haven't been able to do it. Yeah, I've got one on my fucking level. Get on my level, dogs.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Alright, um. Ha ha ha. Don't hide the regret face, don't save that for me. Don't fool to back here, Look, little bit of regret. I forget Sydney crowds are sensitive. They don't like to be called dogs. That'll be a nice frothy, bro. Yeah, frothy dogs.
Starting point is 00:09:33 You frothy dogs. Anyway, this show, The White Works, is there's three of us. And you guys probably figure that bit out. And then what happens is, from there, I mean, that's just the beginning. From there we take it in turns between the three of us to do a report on a topic. Between the three of us? We take it in turns between the three, what, I mean you know what I mean, surely. And then I'm just question about that. No, don't come on. Hilarity and shoes. Oh, a lust control that word.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Um. But tonight, it's a bit different, right? Dave, you want to explain what is happening tonight? Now, usually, one of the three of us does the report. But tonight, I love that you had a theory. I knew it. I knew that we're going to do something different. Oh, what's the theory?
Starting point is 00:10:24 What's your theory? Like the 27 club, where we all do a mini report, that's what we're doing tonight. Record. Great theory. You're going to have to tone this down. I can't handle this level of enthusiasm. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:10:41 Too far, I'm very sensitive. Mate, I've got your money. You've got money? When did money come to this? No. No. God knows. Right theory. And what I love about that theory is that that actually relates to this topic. Wait, what does that mean? The three of us tonight are all doing a mini report on one of our favorite conspiracy theory. To be honest, my immediate, my, the conspiracy theory going through my mind right now It feels a bit like you're all paid actors. That's my conspiracy theory What I think we're now gonna do two reports Our two favorite conspiracy theories. I didn't know it was meant to be our favorite. I never heard of this until this week Is that what it was meant to be?
Starting point is 00:11:46 All right, we're doing a report on a conspiracy theory. We all looked up today. Okay, that's that's the truth of it. So Jesse see this topic was actually suggested by a couple of our Patreon supporters include the first one was Justin Robinson said we said we want to do a mini topic, what's a good broad theme. He said crazy conspiracy theories and then he commented a few minutes later saying, all conspiracies that may not be so crazy after all. So I enjoyed. And I also enjoyed, Alice DeMegrainga said, conspiracy theories I've been hoping for for ages.
Starting point is 00:12:21 How about a silly theory each? Or if time is an issue, Jess and Matt do the shorter silly theories, and Dave does a bigger one. How to not take that person? Yeah, I don't appreciate that. And I'm very happy to tell you that that is exactly what has happened. Once again, I've written an entire report. What? What? No, don't love that. No, you're here for the silly ones. I love that. Yeah, we're silly.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Oh, no. Now I've fucked it, and I haven't, hang on. Pad for a sec. Right. I mean, you could have done this when you pretended to walk out earlier. I didn't realise I'd fucked up until now, so pad for a sec. Right. Technology's not on my side. I'm just trying to help Matt get, and I'm just trying to get
Starting point is 00:13:15 the report on my iPad, so it's easier for him. I'll start it because I got on my phone and then. Great. Alright, and then I'll just sit here quietly for a bit. Looking panicked. You can enjoy that visual while listening to that dulcet tone. Great. Yeah, one tone. One tone.
Starting point is 00:13:32 One tone. And it is the same. No. That is not true. All right. So one thing we also do, if you haven't heard the show before is we used to do a question to get on to top of our- Oh yeah great, sure. I believe Matt has one.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Um, absolutely. Oh yeah, I mean it's not my best. I was going to say these are the two, so I was picking between three. Do you want any of the ones I didn't pick? Either way, I'll let you know. Either way. Either way, I wasn't. I mean I was picking between three. Do you want any of the ones I didn't pick? Either way, I'll let you know. Yeah, I'll let you know. Either way, I wasn't. I mean, I was being polite, but I was going to tell them either way. Yeah, go ahead.
Starting point is 00:14:12 One of them sounds like a lot of fun. Saddam, who's saying, has a stargate, which means you can travel anywhere in the universe. And yet he chose to travel into that hole in the desert. Yeah, he took, yeah. And that's what the Iraq Wars are all about, apparently. That could have imagined how good my topic is. If I didn't pick that. Is that number three? That's a third one.
Starting point is 00:14:38 That was the second best one I was going to pick. Hitler is still alive under Antarctica. At under. Under. I-under. Under. Uh-huh, yep. Is that somehow stark? I could relate it or what's going on there. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Got to assume. How else do you get under? You know? Yeah, I'm not wrong. I decided not to do the Hitler one, because my self-control was in that good. Since Dave started that rule, I appreciated the H word Hitler and I, my eyes hit the deck. I avoided all the rights.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Anyway, the... Thanks so much, man. The topic that I ended up choosing was suggested by Holly in Yorkshire, and this is what... Yeah. Any Holly from Yorkshire fans in the night? Ah! Kabbalah, there's always a few. Always a few. And this is what she said.
Starting point is 00:15:42 This was her bit of sizzle said it's a creepy mystery with a giant horse A giant Mongolian horse you wish yeah, no, and this is the question probably Don't know why gave away part of the answer before the question, but you know, we're fucking trying to stop out tonight, all right? Is the answer giant horse? All right, I won't bother asking the question. I'm just kidding. Now the question is, and if these guys, I know it may be someone in the audience may,
Starting point is 00:16:18 the question is, which international airport is wrapped up in multiple wild conspiracy theories? Horse airport. Oh. I thought I was onto a winner there. Oh, damn. I was very confident. Denver.
Starting point is 00:16:32 Denver. Denver. Denver is correct. That person in the darkness. Well done. Denver. Yeah. All right. I mean, I was going to say none of us saw that coming because you did.
Starting point is 00:16:50 I didn't. Denver. No, I'm just like, I'm just excited for them to see the things that they miss when they just listen to the podcast and it's you just going. It's amazing. And it's good stuff, yeah. You're welcome. That was a lot of denier-o-face, doesn't it? But you can see, I mean, just off the headings, you can see why I picked the sexiest one.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Saddam Hussein, Stargate, Hitler, Under Antarctica, Denver, airport. Yeah, I went for the Hollywood answer but fuck it was fun. Hopefully Jesus alright. Oh my god no pressure. Here are some real exciting facts. The Denver International Airport was built in the 90s, so to be so specific. And it was officially opened in 1995. Very good, you're sure. Some question whether or not it even needed to be built though. As Denver already had an airport. Oh! Oh! Does anyone get tingles?
Starting point is 00:18:11 The new one had less runways and no technological advancements. What are they doing? That sounds like a sweet upgrade. It sounds like a cover for something. Yeah, some sort of conspiracy? Don't get ahead of me. Who told you? The main difference was the area.
Starting point is 00:18:30 The airport itself is 35,000 acres. What's on 35,000 acres? Nearly twice as large as the next biggest US airport. So it's huge. Some would say suspiciously so. Can you make this bigger? No you're just old. Well I'm both the true. I actually don't know how. Well that makes you feel. Alright, alright. Your glasses are sitting right there. There for
Starting point is 00:18:57 seeing over there. Well we could hold your report up the back. You could have a go. Thank you. Is that too much to ask? Oh my god, we should get auto cues. And headset mics. And then we just take turns doing TED talks. Fuck yeah. All right. Can I borrow the company credit card, please?
Starting point is 00:19:21 No reason. Don't look into it. Why do they need to, sorry to cut you off there, but it was... Why do they need to build the airport on such a large chunk of land, question mark? Hmm, posing big questions early. I was going to make a bit of a theory, but I think I've nailed it and I don't want to ruin it. You probably have to say this. I have or haven't.
Starting point is 00:19:45 It's a big horse. Um. They need a, I mean, having a horse, 35,000 acres. That's a big horse. That's a huge horse. So they're not using most of the space, right? Well, not above the ground anyway. Oh, tingles, tingles. Horse people's a good guess. If that is what you're
Starting point is 00:20:09 doing unless I just heard a bit of a conversation you were having about tomorrow but anyway what do you have to do tomorrow? Horse people you? Right okay but what if I told you? What if I told you below the ground is a massive underground military bunker? Oh! That's one of the theories, alright. There's different thoughts to what the bunker could be used for. There's no hard evidence of it. But there are many, many, there are many curious things worth considering. Firstly, the build went billions of dollars over budget and it took around 16 months longer than scheduled to complete. How long does it take to build a bunker? 16 months, exactly.
Starting point is 00:21:01 And it cost billions of dollars at a bunch of. Seems to know an awful lot about bunkers over there, don't you? Hang on! No, I didn't consider that. Hitler did have a bunker. Which is not relevant to what we're talking about now. No. Or anyone on this stage as far as we know. I'm in a lot of trouble later and so is whoever that voice was. A construction worker, a construction worker who worked on the airport has claimed that
Starting point is 00:21:42 the reason the airport ran so over Shedgel and Budget is because of multiple buildings that were built underneath the airport as well as a complex network of tunnels. Multiple buildings underneath it's weird, right? What sort of buildings would you like to go to bank? Yeah. Go to gym? Yep. You got a door. It's a little bit of fun, they construct it. All right, you can serve that bit up yourselves.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Two Melbourne, I guess. Well, you take that, they definitely didn't, I only have that, you got a door, you got a two-bed. I meant deconstructing stuff, it was like a... Yeah. Fuck, I mean, it doesn't matter, because obviously it was very good and no one got it, but... No one got it, it was so good mean it doesn't matter because obviously it was very good and no one got it but No one got it. It was so good. It wasn't they all collectively went fuck and shut up, Matt You piece of shit you're a loser and no one wants you here hurry up finish your reports and we get to daves
Starting point is 00:22:37 It's not like anyone was saying that it's not Some say that these tunnels were just built for the train system, but that sounds like a huge cover-up to me. I mean, is there an underground train system? Yeah, sure, but maybe, I don't know, fuck, I don't know, but potentially, and the internet is so big and the information is so large. And I'm but one man. So there's different thoughts on what it could be used for. Some think it's going to be used as a base for the ruling elite.
Starting point is 00:23:15 Some think it will be used as a shelter for VIPs when the world turns the shit. In Denver. Denver. Not in Denver under Denver. Denver. Not in Denver under Denver. Oh, okay. And others think it might be used as some sort of concentration camp, and those are people take over. So,
Starting point is 00:23:33 These are people. Oh, you look like you know a lot about the lizard people, sir. Do you see his huge tongue? Oh. Wait, what did you say? Your maths do it. Do you want to come to the next paragraph? Oh fuck yeah, that'd be fun Obviously, I'll need to see some ID
Starting point is 00:24:02 Hello That's you Thank you Well Adding to the mystery of it all is that apparently no one really knows who funded the works But there is a foundation stone at the terminal which states that it was funded by the New World Airport Commission. The conspiracy theory buffs out. There will... What? Is this him? Is this him or is this me? Yeah, I think it's time to take back.
Starting point is 00:24:41 His mic technique was better than the real Matt Stewart's. Well done, let's do it. Let's do it. Now, now, be honest, our Matt Stewart audience Matt, was that his error? Or have you just typed a lot of bullshit? I thought he was doing really well. Yeah, it was doing great. But what have you done here, mate? The New World Order, yeah, sure. So that was, oh, yeah, that broke. Yeah, right. So the foundation stone, the mat was chatting about, but I'll take it from here.
Starting point is 00:25:31 It said that it was funded by the New World Airport Commission and the conspiracy theory boss out there will know that this, yeah, that is no good. You see what I have to deal with you Matt my own words Yeah, so the new world order you guys familiar with the new world order. Oh, yeah, it's one of the big It's one of the big ones and that says yeah, I kept a Nash Carman the other guy that's a WWF 90s wrestling reference. For the six, six or seven people that got it, you're welcome.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Well, it's basically a small group of people secretly running the world, trying to move the world towards a single global government. That's the new world order, apparently. And this airport was funded by the new world airport commission. Oh, that's too similar. But here's the thing, the new world airport commission doesn't actually exist.
Starting point is 00:26:39 Much like the new world order. Officially apparently, the airport says, oh no, it's not the New World Airport Commission, it's the New Dash World Airport Commission, which also doesn't seem to exist, but that is something they would bloody say, isn't it? Those fucking airport dogs. Airport dogs. Oh, sick sitcom idea. It's a dog airport.
Starting point is 00:27:08 Little doggy customs, you kidding? I mean, they do, they kind of exist. What's that? Stiffer dogs. Huh. This is very disappointing. Thought I'd come up with a very clever sitcom. I mean, can you still be a sitcom?
Starting point is 00:27:27 No, no, you ruined it. Sorry. You ruined my hopes and dreams. There's a dedication stone in the airport. I may have already mentioned that. I'm doing it again. And it features the Freemasons logo, which people feel there's some people think there's a connection between the Freemasons and the New World Order. The Freemasons are a bona fide secret society whose history dates back hundreds of years,
Starting point is 00:27:50 and their membership has included many rich and famous people including Hollywood entertainers, businessmen, and US presidents, like Gerald Ford. Just to name one. And my grandfather. I'm part of the new old... Hitler was in the Freemason? You! You are so fucked, Lader!
Starting point is 00:28:24 And you two are staying together! You are so fucked later. And you two are staying together. And we're staying at an Airbnb together. And guess who's sleeping on the fold out couch? It's me currently. But it's no longer me currently. Worth it. I believe Dave, the Freemasons are also
Starting point is 00:28:44 who the Simpsons were basing the stone cutters on as that parody. So that is true. Yeah, this is a Simpsons reference out of the way. Like in the stone cutters in the freemasins, members are ranked with a number with 33 being the highest level. Jess, what do you feel about that?
Starting point is 00:29:01 Oh, 33. Look, two more or three less. I don't like 35. 35? That was Robert Harvey's number. Thank you. Anyway, Jewel brand-known metalists, Jewel. Yeah. It's a lot. The Denver airport was dedicated on March the 19th, 1994. I'm sure not dedicated. They do like a ceremony with the mayor or whatever.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Oh, cute. Big red ribbon. Yeah, some like that. Not a big scissors. And the stone has the free makes and symbol on it, right? Now, if you add up the numbers from that date, oh, yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:29:50 19, 1994, 1, 9, 1, 9, 9, 4, you get 33, which is also the number of the thing I just said. If you go back that far, it's also the age that Jesus Christ was when he died. So I'm starting to think this goes all the way to the top. Did you write that? No, no, I'd riff that there. You riff that? Thank you. there. I'm the riff-keying everyone, is that baby? Stop calling me baby. I do you think that was to you. That was a general baby? Yeah, I was talking to that man over there.
Starting point is 00:30:47 I'm really sorry he winked at you, I'm really sorry. I won't get an apology from me. Due to the Freemasons long and secretive history many believed that they are part of the New World Order Conspiracy. Another thought is the bunker has been set up to be a Nazi-style concentration camp. Any thoughts on that, Jess? Concentration camp's bad. Yes, thank you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:10 Yeah. Yeah, you're a little less clap happy now, I notice. One of the key bits of evidence for this is that from above, the runways look very similar to a swastika. I imagine if that is not planned, and then you get the aerial view. You just have to get the architect in and you're like,
Starting point is 00:31:34 Jeff, what the fuck? And you know how they often have a picture hang on their wall of the aerial view, like when they first built it, and then they have to hang it and they just every day like fuck. No no no I salute it every day. Yes that's on tape. I said they salute it. You and your people. You're sleeping on the street tonight. So I'd call that obviously that's an interesting choice aesthetically. Others call it an obvious sign that the airport has been built by Nazis. There's widely Nazis.
Starting point is 00:32:15 Always build an airport. The official word from the airport is that it has been designed this way so that all runways can be used simultaneously no matter the weather conditions. The airport spokesman said, we think the shape looks more like a pinwheel. And when I actually, when I read that, I looked at it again and I agreed, it does look like a pinwheel. A schwa stick a style pinwheel. Fennazes.
Starting point is 00:32:41 Cool, all right. That's the Joker road in there. There's also another weird thing, and this is what it gets a lot of people's attention, the murals. There's some wild murals there. So wild they've had to be taken down. I've big weird murals are on display at the airport. And a lot of conspiracy theorists see these as being an obvious sign that something sars is up, right?
Starting point is 00:33:06 In particular, there is a pair of dip titters, which is, does that mean twos? Yeah, it should have looked that up. I love that about it. Is dip two? There's enough of you confidently saying yes, so yes. Dip titch. two. And there's enough of you confidently saying yes. Yes, yes. Stip-tip. If you lost your place now, don't be a pad. Dada da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Alright, go. The paintings were by artist Leo Tanguma and featured a pretty full-on imagery. One shows a Nazi looking soldier wearing a gas mask.
Starting point is 00:33:52 Oh, for fuck's sake. Wearing a saying, one fetus, a giant swastika. He's wielding a massive sword and a big machine gun. It's a full, it's so full on. The first one was the one. But it's like, he's got a gas mask on, so you can't see, but I assume he's biting his lip like that, yeah. Rainbow Star.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Around him, it shows children dying and grieving mothers. At the Denver Airport. It's so weird. That is, that's hard. Another mural depicts children from around the world handing weapons wrapped in their national flags to a little German boy who is hammering them out of shape. Little German boy is wearing like leaderhosen.
Starting point is 00:34:38 And there's like an American scout boy with gums wrapped up in the flag and he's handing him in. What? Yep. At the Denver Airport. At the Denver Airport. At the Denver Airport. That's stupid. In one of the murals, there is a letter written in the bottom corner from a child who died at Auschwitz.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Fuck, no. At Denver Airport. It's real weird, real weird. Probably not surprising, this full-on imagery, I've said that too many times, has captured the imagination of conspiracy theorists, linking them to the apocalypse, fascism, and other forms of evil. Fascism. Oh, oh, fascism.
Starting point is 00:35:24 You got to go to Paris. It's the fascism capital. That's funny. I should write that out. It could be a bit. Someone reminded me that later. Just listen to this. Never.
Starting point is 00:35:39 You cannot, there's nothing you could do to make me want to listen to that. Denver Airport Media Relations Chief, Heath Montgomery, has responded to some of these conspiracy theories. Good name. How's it good name? It's our first good name. Hello, I'm Heath Montgomery. I got nothing else on Heath.
Starting point is 00:36:00 I mean, that was enough. It was quite enough, mate. He responded to these conspiracy theory claims about the murals, so weird that he had to, but anyway he did, and he was interviewed by Thrillis.com, which is fun. Montgomery pointed to a plaque, they were there at the airport, and he goes, I mean, look at, could you read this plaque to the journalist. And the plaque says, this is a powerful mural expressing the artist's desire to abolish violence
Starting point is 00:36:27 in society. Nobody ever looks at the artist statement, said, Montgomery. He's like, fair, I was like, what are they reading? The description. It says no war. We want peace. Why there's a big Nazi with a sword.
Starting point is 00:36:44 It's art, man! He said, the conspiracy people will look at these and say, it's showing fire and destruction and the new world order and the collapse of society and civilization. It's such a stretch to make. Montgomery's great. Well done, him. I'm not sure if he's had a good look at him. He doesn't feel like he's
Starting point is 00:37:06 He's really given him a look up from the from the explanation There's a Nazi on there and there's an ash Fitz letter. What the fuck my saying ash Fitz right there? saying Ash Fitzroddough. Oh, come on, come on. No, just because he's got German heritage, that's all. Oh my God, German heritage. Hitler was of course Austrian, so you're in the cleave. Although he did live in Germany for all. Something I have never done.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Why, I'm not even drinking, I don't know why. I do, yeah. The art apparently went through a rigorous selection process. I wrote vigorous and luckily Google Docs put a little red line under that because I was sure that was a word. That took me too long to figure out it wasn't quite right. I still think it is to be honest. It's fine. Google, what the fuck does Google know? Yeah, so I went through a rigorous selection process before being chosen, so it's weird
Starting point is 00:38:18 that no one flagged any issues with it. So is there a list of things that they rejected? No. How hard you have to go for them to Denver to be like, well, not in Denver. No, not in Denver. This is going in Denver, airport. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 00:38:31 So the mayor and everyone checked it off, right? And people go, well, then so it's obviously that's fine, but what if the mayor's involved? Oh. That's my conspiracy theory. I've got nothing to back that up. The murals aren't the only freaky thing of the airport. Oh Jesus is going on longer than I expected almost at the end Let's get to that bloody horse The big finishes the horse here, all right the murals aren't the only freaky out of the airport
Starting point is 00:38:58 There's also a big 32-foot tall statue of a horse outside the airport called Mustang 32 feet. Yeah, that sounds pretty big. Yeah, yeah, pretty big. Well, I mean if you think of a foot long sub And I do Times that by 32. Wow, that's a big Yeah, you couldn't get through that in a day I remember this horse body could. So it's 32 feet tall and it's... It's 80 its own length in sandwiches.
Starting point is 00:39:32 I couldn't eat five foot longs. Maybe over a day. They're up. Yeah, don't limit yourself. So Mustang is bright blue and its eyes glow red. Oh, what? Which is particularly terrifying at night, apparently. So much.
Starting point is 00:39:51 I just heard a yucky over here. Would I agree with? It's been nicknamed Blucifer. LAUGHTER That's very good. Conspiracy theorists speculate that the statue represents the fourth horsemen of the apocalypse, aka death. It's really lighthearted airport. But this is pretty apt at this, if this horse does represent death, because BluCyfer
Starting point is 00:40:22 has literally killed a man. What do you mean? What do you mean? The status artist, Louis Himmenez, was killed by the statue. Killed by his own statue before he had completed working on it. A piece of the statue fell on him, severing an artery in his leg. And he bled out. That horse has blood on his hoofs. Was he trying to write the artist's description as he was dying? This is a peace horse. This was meant to be a piece horse. And they still put it up. Yeah, out of, out of respect. I think Satan himself. So there's so many different bits and pieces. There's more than this. I've picked out the bloody best ones, I reckon. But then the guy, the journalist who was writing that article for the Thrillerlist.com,
Starting point is 00:41:28 Colin St. John, another great name. He got it. Colin St. John. Oh, very good. Oh, yeah. Got a love of St. John. So he got in touch with the man responsible for designing the structure of the airport itself.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Kurt Fentress. And asked him, as aress, and asked him, this is a quote, he asked him bluntly, if there are any underground tunnels or secret bomb shelters. No one is thought to ask. Up until this point. Because Fentress replied,
Starting point is 00:41:57 well, I really can't speak to it. I'm sworn to secrecy. Oh. Oh. So John went on to say, he goes, he either has a sense of humor as dry as the Denver air, which is, did you know the Denver air was dry? Is the dry? No, just nobody goes to Denver air porn.
Starting point is 00:42:16 He said, oh, he's not kidding, even a little bit. So he believes it could be true. And I've been thinking about this a lot. I'd love to hear what you guys think, but if it were like, why would you, if it's a Nazi thing, don't design a big swastika on the top, you're giving it away sort of. Well, the Nazis have been known to be subtle, so you're right. I mean, they probably thought they'd never be found out. I mean, at what stage are people high above an airport? I mean they
Starting point is 00:42:45 thought they'd get away with it. Yeah, that is a good point. But sadly people looked out the window. Apparently there is when they set it all up there's a time capsule that's been buried under that plaque and it'll it's due to come be dug up at the end of the century and, uh, Ventress says there's a few answers in there. Oh, it says, it says, keep digging. Yeah. He said, he apparently designs and stuff like that. I mean, certainly, some John reckons there's something in it and he's like, you know, he thinks it's quite likely there's something down there.
Starting point is 00:43:21 He doesn't think it's anything to do with the new world order or anything, but probably some sort of a big thing in case of emergencies. Beef jerky, that sort of stuff. All right, so that's basically my report, but I did, I was fascinated by how cool the number thing was, right? They added up the numbers and that proved it.
Starting point is 00:43:40 33 was the number, right? So I've done a quick number thing here myself. I've linked up every letter of the alphabet to a number, A is one, B is two, C is et cetera. All right. C is three letters. And I've done a little experiment. I did this in the air today.
Starting point is 00:44:03 Phil Collins style. Um. Look, that got away from me. It was just, I was signing up before I realized that I apologize. Um, but I did this, I did this little experiment. And I've done this. I've linked up the letters. Did everyone get me? A is one.
Starting point is 00:44:28 Dave D4A1, V22E5. That means Dave equals 32, right? The second, not a Nazi. Possibly the second highest Freemason. So. OK, exactly. That's what I thought at first, I'm like second highest Freemason, or is there more to uncover? Okay. James, you go through the same process, 48. Warniki. Something else, okay, I don't know if anyone else has
Starting point is 00:44:56 noticed this. First three letters of Warniki. War. What does it mean? I don't know, I don't know. What does it mean? What is it good for? Warnecke equals 77. Dame's. Dame's. Dame's.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Dame's. Dame's. Dame's. Warnecke equals 157. The first phrase I checked to see how much it equaled. I just saw it. Also equals 157. The very first phrase I checked also equals 157.
Starting point is 00:45:31 What do you mean the very first phrase? Explain that quickly. What do you mean? The first one I was going to, I was going to, I'll try it. I did a bunch of different things out. I'm going to frame them up today. The first one I tried equals the exact same as your name, Dave James Wanuki. And that phrase was, lizard person.
Starting point is 00:45:48 A luminary confirmed. Oh my god! I mean, all I need to say about that is... I didn't mean to add you here tonight, but... Look, I want to believe believe and I now do believe Couldn't believe the very first fuck The Uber driver had no idea why I was so excited Well, he does now though. He's here tonight He promised I'm not sure in the Denver Airport later gentlemen Oh, be promised, be promised.
Starting point is 00:46:45 I'm not showing the Denver Airport later gentlemen. That is illuminating is what that is. Illuminati. Illuminati. Yeah, that was the last one. No, it's not. Once you're on a roll. It is hard to stop.
Starting point is 00:47:10 It is hard to stop. It's the momentum. You know who else found that? No, no, no, let's hear him out. Who else? No, no good. Yes. I was thinking Robert Harvey running down the wing 1997 kicking that beautiful goal. All right. Matt, you want to
Starting point is 00:47:37 I'm gonna take over from here. Okay, my turn um And I as always And I, as always, decently wrote a question. And I have it here now, and I'm going to read it. Off the page in front. I'm here. Here we go. Read that. And you're second now.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Read in my question. Okay. Well, my question is to you end to the audience What shape is the earth Oblong's fun, I'm gonna say oblong Incorrect the world is obviously flat. You mean the shape known as flat? Yes.
Starting point is 00:48:34 Wow. I mean, my mind is being blown. Wow, the flat shape. It's a flat shape. Obviously, you would have studied that in primary school. Oblong flat shape. Yeah. You know, that in primary school. Oblone flat shape. Yeah, you know, I'm play school that go through the square window, the triangle window, the flat window. You just run into the window. I think there's something I find interesting. Nearly every window is flat.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Illuminati confirmed! So on it! I love that that is obviously the key word. She was so on it though, like I was like there will be a delay if she gets to it. Nailed it! Yes! Okay great! Great job, yeah. Yeah, so obviously a lot of you have heard of flat earthes, people who believe that the world is flat. And I think the more you hear it, the more you think
Starting point is 00:49:36 they need help. Gen, genuine question, any in tonight. Not after what I just said. I think they're, who we got one living now? question any in tonight. Not after what I just said. Any? I think they're, who we got one leaving now? Just getting a drink, just getting a drink. Just an alcoholic, it's fine. Please.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Jet, Jet definitely isn't trying to flat shame. So. No, I don't know. I would never flat shame. I'm not here to shame anyone. I'm just here to educate. And. Carefully don't fall off the edge. It's around, all right. I would never flat shame, I'm not here to shame anyone, I'm just here to educate. And... Carefully don't fall off the edge.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Carefully don't fall off the edge. It's a serious thing I don't understand. Anyway, so in very simplistic terms, flat-earth is believed that the earth is flat. So slow down. Everyone come the fuck down. So that belief is not a conspiracy in itself. That's just a belief, right? Wait, hang on.
Starting point is 00:50:34 Did you just say all-blown again? Because that could be true or it could be flat and all-blown. Is that right? What does all- Oblong mean? Maybe I should think, doesn't it? New theory. New theory. Oblong Earth. Oblong. We're Oblong Earths.
Starting point is 00:50:53 Ooh, I like that. It's fun to say. Oblong. I like how it feels in my mouth. Oblong. I'll belong. Just tell me more about this. Flat. Thank you. So I mean this has kind of started quite a long time ago. Very long time ago, in fact, in early Egyptian years.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Oh, the early Egyptian years. Yeah, you know. The world was always portrayed as a disc floating in the ocean, floppy disc. Several ancient Greek philosophers believed that the world was flat. Uh... Can't trust them.
Starting point is 00:51:51 You got any issue with the Greeks? Yeah, a couple. The ancient ones? Yeah. Yeah, ancient ones. Oh, okay. There was one, uh, one, Ancient Greek philosophy,
Starting point is 00:52:03 we thought the earth floated in water like a log. Which I don't really get. Like an oblong shaped log? Yeah, it was like a little oblong just floating along in infinite water. Um, that's cool. But, but it's been argued that that philosophy still believed it was round. Just like a little ball in the lake. Again, it makes no sense.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Um, had he ever seen a log? Wow. That is a great question. Very philosophical. Have you ever seen a log? But Dave, what is a log? I think that's all he can say. I think that's all that can say. I think that's all he can say.
Starting point is 00:52:46 I think that's all he can say. I think that's all he can say. I think that's all he can say. I think that's all he can say. I think that's all he can say. I think that's all he can say. I think that's all he can say. I think that's all he can say.
Starting point is 00:53:02 I think that's all he can say. I think that's all he can say. I think that's all he the prevailing belief was that the earth was flat and square while the heavens were round. I don't fully understand. That is a great image. Where a little square up there round, which makes sense. And the model of an egg was often used by Chinese astronomers to describe the heavens as spherical when the egg is in a sphere.
Starting point is 00:53:31 So they kind of fucked that, didn't they? Didn't say what kind of egg could have been like one of their round eggs. It's true. Good point. I always give the Chinese. What was it? What kind of Chinese were they? Astronomers. Astronomers. I always give the Chinese astronomers the benefit of the day.
Starting point is 00:53:52 What kind of Chinese? Look at it in sound great. Sure, it didn't sound great. But I just meant, I just wanted to say the full thing you said, because if I left it, I always find that give the Chinese a benefit of it. That would have sounded bad. Admittedly, the pause did not come at a good time. Do you remember when we started and they would clap at everything? And now they're like, oh, we've set aside our Friday night to watch three fuckheads. You have, yes.
Starting point is 00:54:23 Sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We deserve that. So the first person or the first culprit who, culprit, thought that the, or hypothesized that the world was in fact a sphere, was Pythagoras. Same duty came up with my favorite theorem. I'm bad at maths. Which one? But I was actually really good at Pythagoras's theory. Strangely enough. Is that the M equals M C U M? Sure. A squared plus B squared. I love that one too. It's a good one isn't it? E equals MC Hammer. Love that dog. Love that. So... Did you and me, Matt Stewart's wife?
Starting point is 00:55:17 Oh! Yeah. Doesn't actually matter which match Stuart you marry Technically, it's all of them Imagine that I'm very confusing there's lots of Jess Perkins's How do you come into this between? Sorry. Pythagoras in the sixth century BC stated that the earth is spherical, and this view
Starting point is 00:55:51 is spread rapidly in the Greek world, just in the Greek world. And so this kind of became like the norm after that. But then we come to a more modern time in the early 1800s your time man Warm to get man I'm Santa Wormtie Githman. A couple of characters in. You man, where you at? Yo man!
Starting point is 00:56:27 Woo! That yo man, what the fuck? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yo man, who'll come to you later? No, you're place, yo man! Come on, we want you, man. Are you still there? Yeah!
Starting point is 00:56:41 Love it, I love it, I love it. I also love like it's a full body thing for you. You! I'm sure he's doing that exactly. And I apologize to Yo-Man. Your time will come. Same bloke. He's very confused.
Starting point is 00:57:02 I don't doubt it. Same bloke. Same bloke. He's very confused. Don't doubt it. Same bloke. Multiple personalities. So modern flat earth hypothesis originated with the English writer Samuel Robotham. Robotham. Robotham. Robotham. Ooh, like that a lot.
Starting point is 00:57:21 It was based on conclusions derived from the Bedford level experiment. which was that basically when somebody stood at one end of a lake of a river, sorry, with a telescope and watched their friend sail away and because they could still see them for a bit, they're like no curve. On a lake. A river. On a river. Telescope boat. I didn't see it just cursed mate, so I hadn't thought about that. What do you have an answer? Always oblong. I'm gonna go. Oblong life.
Starting point is 00:57:58 So Robothon published a pamphlet called Zetetic Astronomy and he later expanded it into a book. The book's title was Earth not a globe And it wasn't even like Earth colon not a globe. It's just Earth not a globe Which I love People only read four words at a time before switching off. Earth not a globe. I thought a globe. Oh, I'll pick this up. Earth is not a board.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Ooh. Y'all. I'll never know what Earth isn't. Earth not a globe. Which is great. And in Earth not a globe, he proposed that the Earth is a flat disk centered at the North Pole, which I think guess then doesn't really make it North. The middle pole.
Starting point is 00:58:49 Yeah, that's not going to go center. We're so different. So North Pole is in the middle and around the edge is just a wall of ice. And Antarctica is just all the way around. Just keep it a scene. So I said Game of Thrones. Does that mean anything? It's a show, man.
Starting point is 00:59:16 Are you seeing things you'd rather be watching? I swallowed no. Yes. No. Haven't seen it. Yes, help us out. Are you okay? Oh, Bob!
Starting point is 00:59:34 It's too out of anything. It's real crap, help. So, North Pals in the middle. Santa Paul. Great, a lot. I talked to him all the way around. After I bought him's death, a woman called Lady Elizabeth Blount. Blount.
Starting point is 00:59:49 Blount. Blount. So pretty. So beautiful. She established a universal, zetetic society, whose objective was the propagation of knowledge related to natural cosm... Blount. Blount. Blount. Basically, the society published a magazine,
Starting point is 01:00:09 which was called the Earth Not A Globe Review. Again, I didn't think to revise that. I mean, did the title... Did a lot of globin brackets sick or something? Did we like, this is an out title. This is his title. Earth Not A Globe Review. I love it.
Starting point is 01:00:26 And that remained, like, that the magazine was active well into the early 20th century. And there was also a flat earth journal called Earth, a monthly magazine of sense and science. Still flat. Soon in next month. It was published for a few years from 1901 to04 and it was edited by lady blount. Oh lady blount It's yuck Any blounts in Does everyone want to have a go on three everyone say blount one two three?
Starting point is 01:01:00 Yeah, it's gross isn't it? That doesn't feel good blount. Anyway I bet oblong guy does yelled oblong Yeah, I just said it Calling response Love it love it But you ride up the back in front of the lamp there. Yeah, it's you. Absolutely background. You can't say anything. You're yelling into the void. Yelling into the void. The Dave Warnocky story.
Starting point is 01:01:35 So true. So true. So there's a couple of different publications going. In 1956, a guy called Samuel Shenton created the International Flat Earth Research Society, running it from his home in Dover, in England. He kind of designed it as a successor to the Universal Zotetic Society. But given his interest in alternative science and technology,
Starting point is 01:02:03 he had less of a religious view than the last one. The Universal's at the Tethic Society was, yeah, had some religious swings. Anyway, when satellite images showed Earth as a sphere, Shenton remarked, it's easy to see how a photograph like that could fool the untrained eye. But he's been training his eye and his own lounge room for many years. 50 of those six sets of 50 Everyday
Starting point is 01:02:39 Strongest arts Later he was asked about similar photographs taken by astronauts who were in space. Right, right. Sure he's got a great answer here. And he attributed the curvature of the world to the use of wide angle lenses adding, it's a deception of the public and it just isn't right. He's got a really good fisheye all the time. Yeah, I love that.
Starting point is 01:03:05 So this kind of leads in nicely into flat earthes and NASA. So they believe that NASA, along with the world's governments, are all covering up the fact that Earth is actually just a disk hanging suspended in space. How long? But then there hasn't really been any astronauts come out and say, that's true. It's a big disc you've been lied to.
Starting point is 01:03:33 But the Flat Earth Society explains that space agencies of the world are involved in a conspiracy, faking space travel and exploration, something that they say began in the Cold War space race. As it turns out, they say the US and Soviet Union had to keep outfaking each other. But it says, nowadays, the conspiracy is most likely motivated by greed rather than political gains, and using only some of their funding to continue to fake space travels saves a lot of money to in bezel for themselves. Oh, that's smart. More money in our pockets. Yeah, I like that. Are you an asset?
Starting point is 01:04:11 Yeah, I work for NASA. Whoa. You knew that was my day job. Sorry. By day, I'm an astronaut. By night, I'm a podcaster. And I say, babies. What? Yeah, I'm like a very specific superhero. I only save babies. Hell, hell, one fire. Sorry, how old are you? Two.
Starting point is 01:04:34 Fuck off. Call Superman, I don't hear a shit. Not my problem. That's what I say. Two-year-olds. You's what I say. Two year olds. You're a real hero. Yeah. So, it's maternal instinct.
Starting point is 01:04:51 Kick it on in. I'm going to speed through these last bits so I can keep drinking and we can get to Dave. So, in the most popular flat earth model, the outer edge of the earth, like I mentioned before, which is ice, which is a big ring of ice, it's bound to bone, it's called the ice wall, again, very creative. The traditional view is that the ice wall rises approximately 150 feet above sea level. It's even bigger than that horse. Yeah, so think of like a foot long. Tell me how many horses. I only only know in blucophers. Do you think if they're both measured in feet, do you think they're somehow related? No. I reckon fe's a pretty standard unit of measurement. But it's weird though, isn't it?
Starting point is 01:05:47 Fate. Think about it. Fate. We've all got him. I wish I remembered what the cue for the X-Files theme was. Illuminati? Illuminati confirmed. Yes, you are so good. You weren't going to give it to me I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm.
Starting point is 01:06:08 I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm.
Starting point is 01:06:16 I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to have to confirm. I'm going to confirm. I'm going to confirm. I'm going to confirm. I'm going to confirm. I'm going to confirm.
Starting point is 01:06:24 I'm going to confirm. I'm going to confirm. I'm going to confirm. I'm going to confirm. I'm going to confirm. I'm going to confirm. So yeah, the ice wall is 150 feet, obviously, to make sure the ocean doesn't spill out. Of course! And what did they think was the outside, it's just in the space, you see? Wow, that's cool. I can't wish that was it. Yeah. That'd be fun. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:40 Imagine. That'd be pretty fun. But you can't just go and hang out at the ice wall because they also believe that the ice wall is of course guarded by nasser employees To prevent people from climbing or falling off the edge of the earth. So you can't just wander on up and have a look. They won't let you Jump into space Stop right now. Nanny stayed. Am I right? Let me jump into space. Stop right now. Nanny stayed. Am I right? Let me jump into space if I want to. The man, you know.
Starting point is 01:07:14 I'm not OK. Others believe that the ice fall to be much, much larger. Some say that it is estimated to be between 40 and 50,000 feet high, which is, I mean, even if you wanted to climb to the top of that, fuck that, you know? How high is Everest? Like, 20,000 feet? 22,000 feet or something? So it's bigger than that. It's double 9 Everest. Double Everest, fuck that. I'm not doing that Everest twice. I've already done it. Once is enough.
Starting point is 01:07:47 Once is enough. We've always said that. We did it once. Yeah. Now I'm bored. Never again. But see, I was just imagining like a solid wall of ice. Is that what you were picturing?
Starting point is 01:07:56 No, not anymore. OK. Beat. Beat. Picture in one of those ones where it's like in the middle that's fissures in there. Cute! Frozen fish though. No.
Starting point is 01:08:09 Oh. No. Fiss-fingers. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle.
Starting point is 01:08:18 I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. I wish I had this in the middle. It's very confusing. In some ways it's not confusing at all. Wow.
Starting point is 01:08:27 That is beautiful. So what should we be imagining when we're thinking about it? Yeah, so I was imagining just like solid like a wall of ice. Like hanging throne? Is what I felt when I read ice wall. Yeah, yeah. Have you heard of Game of Thrones? Yeah. Oh no shit,. All right. Cool.
Starting point is 01:08:47 It exists. Illuminati confirmed. The minishing returns. Apparently it's more like a it's a naturally formed structure more like a mountain range. Just like a snowy mountain range. Oh, that's great. Just ends with a mountain range. Just like a snowy mountain range. Oh, that's great. Just ends with a mountain range. I like that. No, no, that's cute.
Starting point is 01:09:09 A mountain range. Yeah, that's cool. It clarifies, this is from the Flat Earth Society's website. It says, it is a wall only in the sense that it walls the Earth's oceans. Yeah, that'd be a fucking idiot. Yeah. It's not like Truman Show kind of kind of, all, you know?
Starting point is 01:09:25 Oh, and they also say so, another thing that Flat Earth Society do have a bit of an issue with is gravity. It's an illusion. Objects don't accelerate downwards. No, no, no, no, the earth is constantly moving up. What, like an elevator? Yeah, the earth is constantly moving up. What, like an elevator? Yeah, we're just always going up. I mean, we're going up right now.
Starting point is 01:09:50 That's good news. Yeah, this disc is just constantly moving at upwards at 32 feet per second, driven by a mysterious force called Dark Energy. Giant Joys, well, we're booing dark energy. driven by a mysterious force called Dark Energy. Hmm, giant joys well. We're booing Dark Energy. Because it's keeping us alive. In the Flat Earth Universe,
Starting point is 01:10:18 gravitation not gravity exists in other celestial bodies. So gravitational pull of stars, for example, causes tidal effects on Earth. So stars have gravity, right? We don't. We have gravitas. gravitas. So here's a few FAQs from the Flat Earth Society's website.
Starting point is 01:10:40 These are really fun. First question is, if the world was really flat, what would happen if you jump off the disk's edge? A fantastic question. Yeah, what's the answer? The answer is, in general, you would become directly affected by dark energy as the earth is, creating the illusion that you are standing next to the earth. What, forever? Yep. I'm not sure what you're standing on
Starting point is 01:11:06 Dark energy that's what you're standing on so you just you're just there and I imagine like a lot of people would try it too So eventually there just be a bunch of people Just standing next to the world. Hey, how long you been out for? You like you know, you know those shell pools I imagine they'll just standing next to one of those because you could still see the earth. Just try to be a just standing next to it. Just like, oh, that was silly.
Starting point is 01:11:31 Which I... Can I get back up? No, all right. I can't. I'll just stand here then. Do you stay there until you start to death? Maybe. But maybe once you're outside of the earth,
Starting point is 01:11:42 hunger's no longer a thing. That's how we solve world hunger get everyone off the earth Yep Stop the earth I want to get off Is that a thing yeah, that's a Second vague Simpson's reference. Thank you stop the planet of the apes my Simpson's reference. Thank you. Stop the planet of the apes. My favorite answer though is to this question, how is it that the earth does not have any gravitational pull but stars and the moon do? And the answer is this argument is a non-sequitur. You might as well ask, how is it that snakes do not have legs but dogs and cats do? Next question. Apple's an orange is dickhead. Snakes are not dogs
Starting point is 01:12:32 or cats. Yeah, he's not a star or a moon. I love that they had to clarify their point. Yeah, that's their answer. A couple of very quick things as a filmmaker and flat-earther called Rob Skiba He held a talk called testing the globe where he revealed why NASA and the governments of the world are so keen to Preparate the myth that is the earth is round He says the room motivation behind this is that they want to hide God from us Where's he hiding? Well, that's the thing we don't know. So, there's a quote from me,
Starting point is 01:13:10 he says, the bigger picture many of us have come to believe is hiding God. To me, that would be the ultimate motivation. So, they think NASA is more powerful than God? No, they think NASA has found God, and they don't want anybody else to find Him. And now God's just like, alright. No, God, yeah. He's sitting in a room somewhere. Yeah, he's shy. They've trapped him in a cupboard. So, for those at home, just in case the mics didn't pick that up,
Starting point is 01:13:46 So for those at home just in case the mics didn't pick that up, someone just yelled Denver Airport and there was a big chance 35,000 acres of pure bunk ridge. That's about a god's sight. Yeah, he'd be brammed in but he could be there. You're like, I can't wait till they're reckoning.. Want to pop my head out. For the delicious home, Matt is impersonating God. Sure. Good say that about me, anybody day. But I was. No.
Starting point is 01:14:22 Okay, and just one last thing. A lot of you may have seen on social media at times, quite recently, a resurfacing of a theory that first floated it around 2006. And that is that Australia does not exist. I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you. Wow. We're not real. So a woman wrote this on a forum and she did later say that it was a joke, but 50,000
Starting point is 01:14:59 people jumped on the bandwagon. Not as a joke. So she originally wrote, Australia does not exist. All the things you call proof are actually well-fabricated lies and documents made by the leading governments of the world. You're Australian friends? They're all actors and computer-generated personas. Part of the plot to trick the world.
Starting point is 01:15:20 You. A lot of people jumping on that bandwagon as well and claiming that the governments, all of them, made Australia up. Ah, I mean Australia, I'll say if Australia exists, non-primities in their years, like that's going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm a girl. So I'm a girl. So I'm a girl.
Starting point is 01:15:48 And now you all do. I just want to find the rest of it here. So these are just some of the other things that people have jumped on there. They've said, I'm sure you have even talked to people on the internet who claim to be from Australia. I have. But that's the thing. It's also talking about like, you've probably spoken to people on the internet who claim to be from Australia. I have. But that's the thing. It's also talking about, like, you've probably
Starting point is 01:16:07 spoken to people on the internet because none of them leave their house. They're really secret government agents who are surfing the internet to enforce these false beliefs. And this is my favorite part. We're not entirely sure why the government made up an imaginary continent. Oh, why it's trying to convince the world the continent is real.
Starting point is 01:16:30 But we can tell you that we know for a fact that Australia doesn't really exist. And then it says, please join us in our quest to convince the world of the truth. And then I just looked over your shoulder. there's a picture of Osama bin Laden. Yeah, yeah. So that's confusing. Well, what are way for everyone to find out here tonight as well? But I wanted everyone to find out in a safe space, you know? And that we're here for you,
Starting point is 01:16:59 and afterwards we will be holding some counselling sessions if anybody needs to discuss the fact that you're fake. We are here for you, but that is my report on the Earth Conspiracy Day. Just look at it! This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money
Starting point is 01:17:30 by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now, quote today at progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates, National Average 12 Month Savings of $744 by New Customer Surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential Savings will vary. Discount is not available in all safe and
Starting point is 01:17:54 situations. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career in a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. students including the GI Bill. Now is the time mycomputercareer.edu. And now I will make this quick. But I will tell you that I like Matt, there are a couple
Starting point is 01:18:39 options for me for my conspiracy theory. Originally I wanted to do the one when I googled it the the thing that popped up that I liked the most, and that was the theory that Michael Jackson and his older sister Latoya Jackson are, in fact, the same person. The main evidence was that they look very similar, much like a brother and sister, and that they were never ever seen in public together. I was like, oh man, this could be real. Then I googled Michael Jackson, Latoya Jackson, hit images,
Starting point is 01:19:11 and hundreds of images came off of them together. Yeah, but Dave, we just learned how easy it is to doctor an image. That is true. That is true. So I did act, I'm afraid. I did avoid that because the Illuminati have done it again So I've decided to go with a spy story instead
Starting point is 01:19:29 So my question to get us on topic is if you were at the Millennium Hotel in London on November 1st 2006 What should you avoid drinking? shampoo I'm gonna give it to you In general general that's good advice. That is good advice. That's how Matt turned out this way. I had a bottle of day addiction for like three weeks and all of a sudden I'm far whatever. It's not shampoo. It's not shampoo. It's not shampoo. Anyone know what it is?
Starting point is 01:20:07 Toilet products. Toilet products. Well, I mean, the team may have been able to toilet what I know offense to them on the embarr. I don't know them. Tee. No, you need tea. Answer is do not drink the tea.
Starting point is 01:20:19 My report is on the murder of Russian spy Alexander Litz Venenko. Yeah. I don't remember the first 2006, have you guys heard of this? No. If you guys heard it, is it random applause? Farrow is losing her fucking mind. And you're going anyone? Anyone? Why are you losing your mind?
Starting point is 01:20:40 Buzzfeed on Solve just didn't episode on it. Oh my god. Well Buzzfeed on Solve was not watched by me, so there you go. Well, you know how this ends. Well, so does everyone. I just said the murder. There you go. All right.
Starting point is 01:20:54 Yes, boy. Alexander Littfinenko was born in Russia in 1962 when Russia was still the Soviet Union. His first dropout of school was as an army trooper for the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs, where he quickly rose to the ranks. So in the late 80s, he was recruited to the KGB, the Soviet Union's main security agency, very secretive.
Starting point is 01:21:14 Basically, you were... If it's so secretive, why have we all heard of it? LAUGHTER They want you to think you've heard of it. Is that make sense? No, basically, he was a spy and started working in military counterintelligence. The Soviet Union fell, but he remained a part of this spy world, working for the KGB's replacement. The FSB, fucking sick bastards.
Starting point is 01:21:40 Didn't write that down. You don't know either. His job for the FSP was to specialize in counter terrorist activities and to infiltrate organized crime. It was appointed to a quote, special secret unit to investigate organized crime but quickly became uneasy with what he started to find. This is where things start to get messy for Alexander. A journalist's time investigating organized crime, he began to see links between many police officers and officials of all ranks with the crims from the underworld. He tried to tell his director about the corruption, but allegedly this had no effect, and he started to realize, hang on.
Starting point is 01:22:18 I think everyone is correct. According to his wife. Wouldn't you just feel left out there? Oh my god, you're all in on it. Okay, cool. I'll do the paperwork, you guys go bowling, that's fine. I can lie too. I'm cool, but maybe corrupt. Well, he actually took a few things he was asked to do. According to his wife, Alex Ander had objected to a number of tasks he had been assigned, including in order to kidnap a wealthy, church-neighin businessman in Moscow, killing his bodyguards that necessary, in order to ransom him for Russia soldiers who were still in captivity in church-neighin.
Starting point is 01:22:58 In captivity? That was cute. Do that again. Different, romantic captivity. Never claimed to be able to do that. Well, Alexander kept complaining. He was told that he should have a meeting with a newly appointed head of the FSB. A certain Vladimir Putin.
Starting point is 01:23:20 Oh! Oh, no! oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, him. Which I love. You walk in there and he's just like, fuck off. I'm starting to sense that he doesn't really like me. But I will continue with my complaints. Fed up with no accident in late 1998, Little Venco took his complaints to a whole new level in held a press conference with some of his colleagues to publicize their complaints about the allegedly corrupt KSB, FSB, KGB, all the shit. It hates all the acronyms, all the initialisms, they're all bad, they're bad, NBA, get out. Most of those at the press conference cover their faces to hide their identities,
Starting point is 01:24:20 but Alexander did not. He also penned an open letter to Putin asking him to properly investigate his complaints against senior officials. He was a very, very brave man. After holding the press conference, Lidavenko was dismissed from the FSB, but he didn't back down. In 1999, he co-wrote a book called, quote, blowing up Russia, terror from within. That's a better book title. It's way better.
Starting point is 01:24:49 Not blow up Russia. People are like, all right, you got my attention. That's not glib. This book accused Vladimir Putin of being behind a series of apartment bombings that killed nearly 300 Russians in the 90s. He claimed Putin was behind the attacks to tighten his own group on power as the public would terrify they could be next. Basically, he's saying that Putin blamed these Chechnya rebels and said, if you get
Starting point is 01:25:20 me in charge of the country, I'll sort it out. But he's saying, Putin blew up these buildings. Just like what you're going to record that he said that, Putin, if you're listening, I'm not saying that. Putin is definitely listening. Big fan, yeah, no, it loves that stuff, yeah, it's really sweet. Love Putin, love his piano work, good stuff. You guys seen that video? Very good.
Starting point is 01:25:45 No. So basically he's coming out. He's called Putin al-Iah. He's accusing him of stuff. He's had a press conference. He's publishing articles. Now he's written a book. He spent nine months in prison on charges of abuse of authority.
Starting point is 01:25:59 And when he was released, he was ordered not to leave Moscow. But in the year 2000, he got the hell out of there and flew to Turkey via the Ukraine. He applied for asylum at the US Embassy in Turkey, but he was denied, so he bought a ticket from Istanbul to Moscow via London. Oh, it sounds like a fun Kentucky. It's actually the worst flight path. You're going to go all the way back over there. Yeah, second time. But. Yeah.. But yeah, they're not well organized those things. Right, we're going to spend six minutes in Belgium. Take your photo, get in the bus. During his plane's quick stop over in London,
Starting point is 01:26:34 he applied for asylum. So they pulled over to like, really fuel and he was like, can I have asylum? And they said yes. Nice. He was granted asylum. So he's new off in the UK, he's doing well. Great, he's happy he's happening, he's safe now. Or is he? Don't give away the ending. He worked as a journalist. I don't know what he is though. All right, can he is?
Starting point is 01:26:59 Are he a nice sweet? My director, can he's here tonight? Alexander Lutmanenko! Yeah! There he is. Try the tea. All right. Wait. Matt Rector, I can't even hear tonight! Alexander Lutman and Gaud! There he is! Try the tea, alright. We'll get to the tea.
Starting point is 01:27:14 Stop teasing! Oh! Radar applause! Come on. Thank you. Matt, not such a big fan of pun work, but I am No, Matt's the pun king Yeah, he himself let's title one time and hates every time I bring it up Matt the pun king
Starting point is 01:27:34 You've zoned out haven't you I think it's getting late, but um I Have had fun. Let's just yeah, let's call it a night It's anyone. Hey, hey. Did you see when we started? Yeah, I did, I did. Let me just tell you. How we going?
Starting point is 01:27:54 Yeah, that's good to do the admin on Mike. All right, I'll be able to get through this quick. I'll be able to get through this quick. Okay, we won't interject. No, please continue interject. So he works as a journalist in the UK for a bit. He was also paired by MI5 and MI6, which is the British intelligence, James Bond style.
Starting point is 01:28:09 And they did my fanfare recently. They're all, every number is a different, different guy. There's like, there's an MI3 and other things as well. Fact, that's a fact. Is that true? You saw, you saw a Buzzfeed video. I said MI3, GoddamnRotter did.
Starting point is 01:28:25 Wait, what did I do wrong? Why? Three? No, look, let's go to the tape. I said, whatever was correct, thank you. So his work is journalist, he's given a bit of info to the UK MI5 MI6 and he's continuing to be a vocal critic of the FSB and Putin in particular who was now Russia's president and accuses him of being involved in lots of dodgy stuff.
Starting point is 01:28:50 He said that he's dodgy. DUDGY. DUDGY STUFF. I don't listen back to the tape and I go, I didn't sound like that, but anyway. So he's accused Putin of being involved with people like Saddam who's saying, giving him weapons. Yes, the astagate man. Yes, maybe he sold him the stargate. So he's accused Putin of being involved with people like Saddam who's saying, giving him weapons. Yes, the A.A.
Starting point is 01:29:06 Stargate, man. Yes, maybe he sold him the Stargate, I can't tell you that's true or not. You can't confirm it nor deny it. Nor deny. Which means it's true. Illuminati confirmed. Which is way better than Illuminati denies. He also said that Putin was involved in the London bombing of 2005, and also these dealing
Starting point is 01:29:30 arms to all these people. So he's accusing of being involved in a lot of conspiracies, if you will. Definitely, I said it would work the audience, doesn't he? Bang, bang, bang. It's all about the eyes. It's all about the eyes, it's all about the eyes. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:47 One of his wildest claims about Putin in particular is that Vladimir Putin is a pedophile. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. He's coming. Wait, I missed the start of the sentence. Is that a fact? No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:29:59 So one of his wildest claims, he published an article accusing Vladimir Putin of being a pedophile. Oh my god. He published an article accusing Vladimir Putin of being a pedophile. Oh my god. He published this article and he published with it a photo. I thought that is a big one. No. That's what this guy is saying, remember. This guy said that.
Starting point is 01:30:15 And he published. Not us Putin. He published an article and with the article he attached a photo of Vladimir Putin kissing a child on the belly. Which is weird, but it's one of those, you know. No, you kissed the kid on the belly. I know, so weird. I remember he's accusing a man.
Starting point is 01:30:31 Unless he's doing raspberry, because they are fun. Raspberries are bloody fun, you know, on the belly. She had just make sure, you know, the kids pretty well. Preferably they're your kids. Yeah. Or like very close relatives, like a niece or a nephew or something. Not just a stranger. But you're kissing on the belly.
Starting point is 01:30:53 Yeah, I'd agree with that. I mean, we do that today, but he's a good boy. And I love it. I can't wait to get one up of the show because this reporter is banging So he's accusing Vladimir Putin of being a pedophile I'm not doing it! She's got that! Matt It would be my honor
Starting point is 01:31:24 Perfect So, to get us back on track, Putin, pedophile, great It would be my honor. Perfect. So, to get us back on track, Putin, Pettifull. Great. He's accusing him of that. He's accusing that of a man he believes blew up 300 of his own citizens just to gain power. So he's playing a very dangerous game, so I would say. So in November 1st, 2006, Alexander Lippenenko intended a a prearranged meeting with two former colleagues of the KGB.
Starting point is 01:31:48 Andre Lugavoy, Dmitri Copton. They met at the Pine Bar of the Millennium Hotel in Mayfair and London. That's the birthday when he mentioned it as the... Yeah, we're getting to the juicy bit. The tea-y bit. The tea-y bit. You can drink the juice. Yeah, juice is fine. Okay, good. What sort of juice have they?
Starting point is 01:32:07 They have all sorts of juice. They have pineapple? They don't always have pineapple. At this place. Oh, I love pineapple juice. They don't have grapefruit. Because it's sour and tastes fucking good. Yeah, grapefruit sour.
Starting point is 01:32:18 It's unclear what the meeting was about, but Lib Venenko had known Luga voice since the 90s, so they know each other a long time. Alexander had a cup of tea. Do they have watermelon juice? Yeah, yeah, it's good stuff. But the tea, we're talking about the tea here. Ah, yes. Alexander.
Starting point is 01:32:36 Pappamint. He had a cup of English tea. Poured from a tea pot, he drank the tea and then he left. Shortly afterward while dining at a sushi restaurant with his friend, Maro Scaremella, Lipponeco began to experience intense nausea and even the loss of the use of his legs. Knowing something was wrong, I probably didn't have to say that.
Starting point is 01:33:02 He entered a London hospital where severe burns in his throat were indicative of poisoning of some kind. For several weeks, Lippe-Netko's condition worsened as doctors searched for the cause of this illness. Surrounded by friends, Lippe-Netko became physically weak and spent periods unconscious. It was clear that he'd been poisoned by something. He claimed that the Russian government had conspired to kill him, so he was transferred to a UK hospital under police guard. Oh, I love that.
Starting point is 01:33:28 Ooh. Tests were run, but a cause of the poisoning couldn't be found. They run a lot of these tests, but all coming to a dead end, so they send Alexander's blood and urine samples to a top-secret British nuclear site, Older Master. And he's still alive. At this stage.
Starting point is 01:33:44 And he, what about the sushi you're gonna rule that out because I'm at the moment I think that just was the sushi wasn't quite that that happens tea you can't get poisoned by tea but sushi we will talk about the sushi yeah we fucking will the blood was tested for radiation and showed an unusual spike that couldn't be explained by the scientists. Mercury. One of the scientists who worked on the nuclear bomb program in the UK overheard other
Starting point is 01:34:13 scientists discussing the results in the break room. He explained he'd seen this gamma ray spike before and then it came from Polonium, specifically Polonium 210. The discovery was pure chance, but let them to understand what was happening to Alexander's body. Now, a bit of background here. Polonium, we've talked about that before in the show, was discovered in 1898 by a previous report topic.
Starting point is 01:34:37 Marvel superheroes. Marvel superheroes. Marikiri. Marikiri, and his named after Marikiri is home country of Poland, Pallonium. Pallonium is extremely radioactive and 100% deadly. It has been estimated that a median lethal dose of Pallonium 210 is 0.089 micrograms. For comparison, one grain of table salt is about 0.06 micrograms. For comparison, one grain of table salt is about 0.06 micrograms, so less than 15 grains of salt worth will kill most people.
Starting point is 01:35:11 But he's not most people. He ate most people. He's still kicking. I tried to do that in like a Dave voice. Did I know it? Yes. That was great. I wouldn't be so concerned. Let me try. I'm Dave. Go do more. What else would he say? Oh, look at me with my hat of hair.
Starting point is 01:35:32 My hat of hair. Yeah, because you got little Lego boy. Oh, fine, that's fine. I thought I was being accused of wearing a hat. You can't buy this look. I did. No, what you want to. Finally on that planium, it's so deadly because it leads to the destruction of all cells and organ failure throughout the body.
Starting point is 01:35:55 A planium, as a poison, had never been documented before and it was probably the first time anyone had been tested for the presence of two-ten planium in their body. But it's bad news, it was affecting his liver, kidneys, and heart. He described himself as a living murder victim and published a photo of himself dying in hospital completely bald from the poisoning. Wanting to show the world what Vladimir Putin had done to him. The discovery was also bad because it
Starting point is 01:36:18 meant that other people might be injured or killed by the radiation. It could be all over London. So the government's health body declared immediate warning and set up a public contamination zone. Twenty scientists working all night to find traces of the radioactive substance and it was found on aeroplanes, in cars, in a football stadium, in restaurants and in hotels. All in all, forty sites were found to be contaminated by polonia. It was even found in the London Underground.
Starting point is 01:36:45 40, though. 40. Mmm. I mean, well, over 40. So 50. Ah. That was a roller coaster. It was even found in the London Underground, but this information was kept quiet at the
Starting point is 01:36:58 time to stop public panic. Mmm. A great thing about this, that was the author. No, because then they'd have an excuse not to take the train. Like, I can't come to work. Trains are poisoned. That'd be awesome. That'd be great, excuse me.
Starting point is 01:37:12 That'd be so good. Ah, Polonium 210, have you heard of it? Ah, hello, Rita Boor. 100% deadly. Yeah, so I sat in my boss all the time. I don't keep jobs for long. A good thing about the Polonium was thatium was that they were able to trace the movement and who would brought in the Polonium.
Starting point is 01:37:30 We'll get back to that in a moment. But before the poison killed at Venenko, it took an agonizing 23 days and he was very, very ill. Just before he died, he signed a statement placing the blame for his murder, squarely at Vladimir Putin's feet. Oh, very, very yucky. His feet are heinous. He signed a statement placing the blame for his murder squarely at Vladimir Putin's feet. Very yucky. His feet are heinous. Doesn't clip his toenails.
Starting point is 01:37:57 However, Putin wasn't the first person he accused of his murder. More on that in a minute as well. Ooh, it will go to an ad break. We'll be right back. In his final statement, Livineko said, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Okay, 1500 grains of salt. That's a lot of salt. I'd be okay with that much salt though. The hospital room he was in was sealed after his death to stop further contamination. So you're wondering who did it? Answers. Here they are. So the two main suspects were the two men that Alexander admitted at the Millennium Hotel. Dimitri Cofton and Andre Lugavoy, and to be honest, there is a lot of evidence
Starting point is 01:38:46 against them. Ah, CZ, this is the strongest stuff. CCTV shows Lugavoy walking to the toilet in the Millennium Bar with his hand in his pocket. And I know when I'm getting ready to poison someone some radioactive material, my hand straight to my pocket, even though I'm struggling to do it. I don't drop the drop, okay. That was so I'm struggling to do it. I don't drop, don't drop, don't drop. That was so worth it.
Starting point is 01:39:06 So worth it. His mate, Dimitri Cofton, can also be seeing going to the John in CCTV with his hand in his pocket. And I've maybe seen documentary or watched on this note that he was in there for three whole minutes. Three, what else would he be doing in there? Three minutes.
Starting point is 01:39:23 Polonin, exactly. Hand in his pants. Three minutes. Polonium. Exactly. Hmm. Hand in his pants. Three minutes? Three minutes. I think I know what I'd be doing. Poisoning that guy. So that's all, that's all obviously pretty circumstantial, but the bathroom sink hand dryer and toilet were tested and all found to have some of the strongest traces of polonium. So that's pretty, that's pretty dammit. The meeting was actually the second time they met with Alexander in London, that also met a month before, also at a sushi bar that was later found to have traces of polonium.
Starting point is 01:40:01 So they may have tried to kill him on the first day, but he didn't eat, they wanted him too. But then they went back to Russia and then came back to London or whilst carrying this polonium, which seems like a lot of work to kill one man. That's what you do what you got to do, you know. You know what you do. You know what you do. You got to do. You got to job. It's a living. It's a living. It's a living. Is it a living? It is a living. Okay, it's a living. What I said then. So I want to tell you that in, so they had an inquiry in this, in the UK, in the UK, and Judge Robert Owen shared the British government inquiry into the lippen echo killing,
Starting point is 01:40:35 and his findings, in his findings, he said he was certain Lugavoy and Cofton, the two KGB guys, killed Limpeneko by placing a lethal dose of Polonium in his tea. By this time, Lugavoy was elected a member of the Russian State Parliament, meaning he couldn't be extra-dotted for the crime. Russia has also previously said it won't allow citizens to be extradited to Britain to face trial, so certainly that I remember to the parliament. So they're like, no, no, he'll never go on trial, which is dodgy. So aside from the conspiracy theory that these Russian agents backed by the Russian government,
Starting point is 01:41:07 poisoned a man on UK soil with Polonium, and put a whole lot of innocent people at risk, and that Vladimir Putin was self-behind the entire thing, there are some other conspiracy theories, which are that it isn't what it looks like, only that it's what it meant, what it's meant to look like. Hmm? Three off the, the scent thereby, mispronouncing the sentence. I read a guy Justin Riemondo right on modelization.canada, or dot CA, he wrote quote to begin with, if the Russians wanted to off-lip Venenko, why were they poisoning with a substance that left a radioactive trail traceable from Germany to Heathrow Airport, and in the process contaminating scores of hotel
Starting point is 01:41:49 rooms, offices, planes, restaurants, and homes? Why not just put a bullet through his head? It makes no sense. What do you say to that? I mean like a bullet, sure. But it's a bit less dramatic, isn't it? Yeah, what about the art, you know? The drama.
Starting point is 01:42:04 Yeah, a bit of dramatic. Yeah, what about the art? Yeah, the drama. Yeah, a bit of pride in your work. Yeah. That's such like level A murdering that guy we're talking about. You know what I mean? You don't hire these guys for level A, but it is. Double A. Double A.
Starting point is 01:42:22 Double A. A Ramanu also writes there are indications that Lippeneko was engaged in the smuggling of nuclear materials. That he wound up being contaminated by the goods he was peddling on the black market seems far more credible than the cock and bull story about a Russian plot originating in the Kremlin. But others take the cock and bull story further and say that Lidvinenko was taken out possibly by the UK government to make it look like the Russian government did it.
Starting point is 01:42:49 Perhaps Vladimir Putin won't allow these KGBA'dans accused of the murder to be extradited because he doesn't believe they'll get a fair trial. They'll be found guilty of the crime and Putin will be accused of being behind it all. So you actually killed him. You're asked, Matt. Who? Ah, yeah. Didn't you tell us before? or be accused of being behind it all. So you actually killed him, your ass man. Who? Ah yeah, didn't you tell us before? Huh!
Starting point is 01:43:09 Wasn't those guys who were jizzin' in their pants? There is another man jizzing in his pants. What? Now I mentioned before, I mentioned before that after the apparent poisoning at the Millennium Hotel, he met a man for lunch at a sushi bar. A man named Mario Scaramella, what I didn't say is that Mario Scaramella is a nuclear expert.
Starting point is 01:43:36 The pair met at a sushi restaurant in Piccadilly, London. Scaramella has stated he ate nothing and drank only water at the restaurant. Suspicious? Or maybe he doesn't like Japanese. Maybe just one of those people that agrees to go out for lunch with you, then doesn't order anything, and then you kind of feel awkward, because you're like, well, I mean,
Starting point is 01:43:58 I didn't pre-eat lunch for this lunch arrangement, so I'm gonna have some lunch, but I feel like a dick and you've done this to me but you sit there in your chat while you eat and they watch you eat and that feels weird because then you're like is there food all over my mouth? There is isn't that they're not saying anything because they're obviously not a very good friend because they didn't even have lunch at our lunch date you know. I know. I know. And that concludes my TED Talk on friendship.
Starting point is 01:44:30 I just want to do a TED Talk is on saying, you'd be great. A TED Internet? No, I'll write. We did invite them. I just do to some of you, Wiki Spooks, which is a very spooky website. Says, Scaramalla is a self-acclaimed expert and nuclear waste and worldwide locations of nuclear waste and another man with a dark past.
Starting point is 01:44:53 Yet his name has been left out of the equation by the press for so many years while the blame Putin-diotribe has been milked to the cows come home. The independent described ScaramallaAlor is someone that claims to be a professor at a university that has never heard of him and a consultant to a body that has no fixed address. Very mysterious. Then again I'm pretty sure my uni would be like who?
Starting point is 01:45:18 Pays get degrees! Thank you so much, yes. I can spiritually theorist will tell you or her pathasize that Scaramela squirted radioactive poison onto Alexander's sushi in the bathroom. Wait, wait, wait. Hand down the pants. Three minutes later, he squirted poison on his sushi. So what you said? Yeah. Yeah pretty much. I'll check that. Remember he only started feeling sick after he was meeting this guy
Starting point is 01:45:56 at the sushi bar and the other guy didn't eat anything. Did scaremella poison Alexander to take him out and then also pin the crime on Putin and his foot soldiers. And I remember when I said earlier that Putin wasn't the first person that Alexander accused of murdering him. Well, the first person he publicly accused was, scary mella himself. Alexander quickly changed the story and started to accuse Putin. Because he was like, well, I'm dying. May as well take Putin down. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:24 One last girl, I don't know, I can't hurt. Is anyone else confused? What are you confused by? Let me sum it up for you. In a lot of people. Alexander hates Putin. In most of the UK, he's like, I'm gonna fuck you up, maybe. Two KGB guys, he meets with them, then you get thrill sick.
Starting point is 01:46:45 Did they poison him? Or did the guy he met after them poison him at the sushi bath? Yeah, now we're still confused. Are you confused, really? No, you're fine. I'm with you 100%. I mean, I'm trying to speed through it. I'm trying to speed through it. To be honest. You're doing great. Hey, no, hey, don't let us shout at your confidence.
Starting point is 01:47:01 I feel like Matt is shattering my confidence. Matt, lift up his confidence. Hey, you wearing a beautiful hat of hair. Thank you, thank you. Go on, beautiful boy. I've just got a summary here. In summary, the question is, was it a conspiracy by the Russian government?
Starting point is 01:47:21 Or was it a conspiracy to make it look like a Russian conspiracy? Or was it a conspiracy to make it look like a Russian conspiracy? Or was it a conspiracy to make it look like a Russian conspiracy and throw us off the scent of the real conspiracy that Michael and the Toya Jackson are in fact the same person? Thank you and good night! Well done. Inconceivable. That was great. Induvidably. And I think we can conclude that yes.
Starting point is 01:47:57 And answer to all our questions. Yes. Well, what a bloody, great time it's been. Let's all go back through and recap our reports. From the top. Thanks so much for sticking with us. That was a pretty long show. Yeah, thank you.
Starting point is 01:48:18 Sorry, and thank you. Thanks. We really do appreciate you coming out. This is 150th. What is that? Pretty bloody good? That's huge. Canada just turned out in 50 last year. We really do appreciate you coming out. This is 150th. What is that? Pretty bloody good. That's huge.
Starting point is 01:48:27 Canada just turned 150 last year. We're bloody catchin' them. You know that? Easy. Give us one more week. Yeah. Next week we're older than Canada. And this is our biggest show to date as well.
Starting point is 01:48:39 So thank you so much to you guys for coming out. Thank you. It really does mean a lot to us. Thank you so much to you guys for your very good luck. Thank you. It really does mean a lot to us, so thank you. I think I pretty much wraps it up for us, but we will be down the back standing near our T-shirts. If you want to have more drinks, the bar is going to be over for another hour or so. A few of you may have heard that I've christened myself the Snack Captain for our UK tour. Here we go.
Starting point is 01:49:07 And I just see if anybody had like spare change, you want to chuck in. For snacks and magnets, it is optional, but I'll be hungry if you don't. So there is a jar at the back as well. If you want to, oh, I was just trying to get some change or whatever, like if you've got it, no, it's a preferred, whatever.
Starting point is 01:49:26 You got change, right there, don't throw it at us, please. No, there's a jug, it's all good and it will go towards snacks and all magnets. This is very uncouth. Yeah, Matt hates it, therefore put more in. LAUGHTER And I love snacks and magnets. So yeah.
Starting point is 01:49:49 Alright, let's hear it for the YIT guy. YIT! Let's hear it for OBLONG! Our main man is to match Stuart in the front row. The real match Stuart. The owner on sound. Alana and everyone here at the Giant Dwarf, you're amazing. Allian Oli. And I guess here to finish, I guess we could say with all three, Illuminati confirmed.
Starting point is 01:50:27 Good night! Stick around! What a triumph. We're back in the studio. Thank you for listening to that live episode. A real trip ditch. A little bit of Map Jess and Dave Flavor all in one pot there. Some would say a masterpiece.
Starting point is 01:50:56 A trip ditch boss. Things with three flavors in one pot. Oh yes, a culinary trip ditch. Ooh. Yum yum yum. What's your flavor? Chef Pepe Pepe. Tell me, what's your flavor?
Starting point is 01:51:08 Craig. All right, Craig, David. Am I right? There's exactly which is gone for us. All right. Just telling over our own joke back to you. But anyway, what are our three flavors? And then do they go together?
Starting point is 01:51:18 Matt's obviously vanilla. I'm French. French vanilla. Dave, what's your flavor? Blue cheese. Mint. Yeah. You, mint, yeah. That is all. You two got together great. I'm going to know what. Correct. Take a fucking hint. I'm on my own here. Can we separate the two out?
Starting point is 01:51:35 I might actually, can I make mine coffee? Okay. Okay. Dave and I after the Sydney show, well the next night we went out on a date you did you like it was a beautiful meal We went out for an Italian meal. Oh, and then I kept telling people it was a pizza restaurant. We had pasta and risotto I Had I'm yokey which is potato is not past is and Passes that's a remote that's a great rock. It's great. It a great, it's really good sketch. Tadders, not pastors. Excuse me?
Starting point is 01:52:09 I just noticed that the nockie was in the past section. What's up with that? It should be with the potatoes. Nockies, no pasta. The Jordan rest couple of. Yeah. Oh. So, oh yeah, I was going to say we went out for, and then we went for a walk,
Starting point is 01:52:25 and then we went to an ice cream restaurant. You're cuties. You're probably not a restaurant, is it? Ice cream parlour. You called it Marie. You were looking for, quote, a dessert bar. I wanted a dessert bar. I'd heard of them, and the ones we found
Starting point is 01:52:39 had cutes going out out the wazoo, which is the front door, and Sydney they call them wazoo's. But we did find this just great little ice creamery. And we had a couple of fudge sundaes. Fudge and cheese. And that's what made me that, because I did have French vanilla and coffee. Two scoops, you got two choices. Dave, what did you get for? I went with Belgian chocolate and coconut. Oh, interesting. A couple couple of great. I would have gone for a chocolate mint easy. I love chocolate as well my fave my classic combo Which doesn't mix well together at all? Chocolate and boys and berry swan. Yeah, fucking love boys and berry. Yes, let's ice cream together any time
Starting point is 01:53:18 Yes, they fuck off you coconut a hate coconut. I really like coconut I'm all like joking. Get out of here. Get on the mint chocolate. Boys are very trained all get out. Well, I reckon mint really takes away from the greatness of the chocolate. There is something wrong with your brain. We were having fun Dave.
Starting point is 01:53:37 And then, you know, nice time. What about when we're having fun eating those ice creams together Matt? Yeah, that was really nice. That was a great sweet. That same night. I was watching nice. That's really sweet. That same night. I was watching the footy on my phone.
Starting point is 01:53:47 Oh, it was going. What's going on there? And I said, shush. Maddox, you explain the ins and outs. It was a big game. It was, yeah, it was going, anyway. It was a lot of... This great quick outro we're doing here.
Starting point is 01:53:59 Yeah, basically, sorry, we probably should have said, we're here, at the end of the episode, if you haven't heard before to pay tribute to our Patreon supporters basically we've set up a Patreon a while ago now for people that really like the show and want to support it and for financially you can do so and make this you know become part of our day job which is really cool and you get bonus rewards in return like bonus episodes you get shout-outs you get to vote for the topics, you get to know about stuff in advance, Matt does a newsletter. So you guys too, we've got a pre-sale. Yeah, we do pre-sales, yeah, so. And we also, I do a weekly newsletter, which always includes me messaging Dave and Jess going,
Starting point is 01:54:35 hey, anything you want to say? And sometimes Jess will say, here's a list of words. I did do that one time. Sometimes you'll say, I'm hungry for food. What, asking what food they like? I also did that one time. Sometimes you'll say, I'm hungry for food. What, asking what food do I like? I also did that one time. It's a lot of great insight. Matt, don't give away the content for free.
Starting point is 01:54:50 Oh, that's true. I feel hunger. I'm here, man. Yeah. And other times, I know words. Anyway. Dave, very rarely. Well, basically, could you give us about three minutes
Starting point is 01:55:01 to reply and if we haven't, you've already get posted on the food. I guess Dave's not interested in our seat five minutes later. I'm like, yeah, how about, oh, could you give us about three minutes to reply and if we haven't, you've already get posted on the screen. I guess Dave's not interested. I see it five minutes later and I'm like, yeah, how about, oh, okay. I'll do like, okay. Okay. Oh, okay. But apart from all that, on one level in the Patreon, you get to contribute a fact-quote
Starting point is 01:55:18 or question. And that is put into the segment, which is called fact quote or question. I saw someone has made a jingle for this, which I got a, I got a refund. I saw it somewhere and I got a count for anyway. This week's fact quote or question is from Mark Chopper Reed. And the fact quote or question, give her also gets to give themselves a title. And Chopper has given himself the title, the man in charge of the little things. Oh, I like that because we know from little things,
Starting point is 01:55:53 big things grow. That is very true. And also there's big picture people. There's also little picture people. And they're very important. Very important. We're a team. The day-to-day operations.
Starting point is 01:56:03 Yep. And this week he's offered us a fact. Oh, probably my favorite. I'd like to learn. Yes. Yeah, because you're a nerd. Or dispute. I like questions, because I like to talk about me.
Starting point is 01:56:16 I don't. Yeah, because you're a self-obsessed nerd. No. He's, I actually came across this fact while I used to work in TV game show fact checking. Quit bragging. Sorry. Oh, I love you. Oh, signal.
Starting point is 01:56:36 I'm worried that Matt, you are actually going to be like, actually, I found that this was untrue. No, I think this one went through the show. I have, like I, and I, I, I've a little peak on the curtain. I am not checking any of these things. I'm reading them word for it as they've been written. And as we found a few weeks ago, some of them are inconsistent even within the paragraph. But anyway, this is from the man in charge of little things. Indigenous people of Mexico and Central America used the Nahuiti word ahul-kati
Starting point is 01:57:15 to mean both testicles and avocado. Oh no. The fruits were... Do you know how often I'd get a smashed testicle on toast for breakfast Cup of times a week. Yeah The fruits were originally marketed as alligator pairs in the United States until the current name stuff alligator pairs obviously make sense because they're in a pear shape and their skin is very
Starting point is 01:57:40 Alligatory. Yeah very reptilian and then they Avocado after the- I love the word avocado though. So pretty good. Was the question on the quiz show, Matt, that you checked, the Nahooiti word for avocado is also the word for what? A. Testicles, B. Penis, C. A. Anus. Oh, and the part that I was familiar with was the alligator. Oh, right, right, okay, right, cool. That was a bit of a toofa from-
Starting point is 01:58:04 Yeah, toofa, that was a good stuff. Thanks so much for that, Matt. Oh, right, right. Okay, right. That was a bit of a two-fer from. Yeah, two-fer. That was a little one. I like that. Thanks so much for that, Mark. It's nice. In charge of little little things, which I like. Yeah. We need those people. Thank you. And we also like to thank a few other Patreons each week. Dave, they're on a different level in the Patreon support. And we've been doing this for quite a while. And we think a few each week.
Starting point is 01:58:25 And Jess comes up with a little game for us to play. So we just talked about conspiracy. So I know it's hard. I don't know. Can you offer a conspiracy about this person, each? Something that goes all the way to the top. Fuck yes.
Starting point is 01:58:39 Oh, OK. OK. All right. And I've just had a look at my names here that I'm going to pluck out. And they'm just that a look at my name here that I'm gonna pluck out and they are a couple of ball-out-a-e crackers. I'd love to thank from CSEY in Arizona, A.R. in the U.S. Molly Harden.
Starting point is 01:58:57 Oh. Molly's a crack in there. Love Molly. Love Molly, Molly Harden. So good. Sounds like a, like a, um, a PI. Yeah. Molly Harden, so good. Sounds like a, like a, um, a, um, a PI. Yeah. Molly Harden, PI.
Starting point is 01:59:07 Yeah. I love that. Good on you, Molly. Uh, okay. Conspiracy theory about Molly. Oh my goodness. I, I don't mean to blow anyone's minds, but maybe this is a conspiracy, but A.R. It's an Arizona.
Starting point is 01:59:20 It's Arkansas. I don't know if that's a conspiracy. I think it is. Okay. It's like just an error on my, but Arkansas. I don't know if that's a conspiracy. I think it is. It's like just an error on my... Arkansas. Arkansas. What's the... What's the...
Starting point is 01:59:32 Can you give me a factor about Arkansas, Dave? Is it Arkansas or Arkansas? Arkansas. Arkansas. Silent second S. That's hot. Little rock is the capital, which is a little rock.
Starting point is 01:59:45 A little rock, like that, little rock. Oh, conspiracy, the rock. Very big. It's actually a big rock. So they don't want us to know. They don't want us to know. They don't want us to know. Yes.
Starting point is 01:59:57 Because they're hiding something under the rock. I'm a big key. Yeah, you put keys under a rock in your front door. You're hiding a big key for a big thing. What's big? The White House. The White House, keep for the White House, that's the big one.
Starting point is 02:00:09 All the way to the White House baby. Whoa. We are on to you Molly and we are coming for the big rock. Yeah, we know you got something to do with that over in Little Rock. We're on to you. Even though she's from CSE. Yeah, she would say that.
Starting point is 02:00:20 CSE Arkansas. That was fun. I enjoyed getting riled up over that. Yeah. Let's do it again. All right. Can I also think, from Silverdale and New South Wales, Australia. Okay. Which we know doesn't exist but anyway.
Starting point is 02:00:35 Australia. Oh yeah, right. Oh, from the show that we just did. I'd also like to thank Jenny Schmidt. Schmidt. Schmidtie. I love Schmidtie Schmidt. Schmidt. Schmidtie. I love Schmidtie as a name. Schmidtie.
Starting point is 02:00:47 Schmidtie. Cracken surname. Jenny Schmidt. Okay. Dave. How are you under the bus? Jenny Schmidt. Well, I think she is behind the fact that all M&M's
Starting point is 02:01:02 taste the same. You have different colors. Right. Even the peanut ones. What is up with this is the crisp yours. They're all the same.&Ms taste the same. You have different colors. Right. Even the peanut ones. What is up with this is the crispier. They're all the same. They're all the same.
Starting point is 02:01:09 It's just a marketing conspiracy. Peanut butter ones. A marketing conspiracy. Caramel ones, yeah. Marketing conspiracy. I haven't had them. You would have thought they're good, but they're just having plain ones.
Starting point is 02:01:18 They're all the fucking same. Dave, I've cut them in half and seen the caramel. Is that all that so part of the conspiracy? So we're brainwashed to believe that they... Yeah, so you play more for the crispy ones. Wow. It's ridiculous. That is ridiculous.
Starting point is 02:01:34 Jenny! Jenny? I expected better from you. And for some reason it comes out of Silverdale and New South Wales. Yeah. I told you it goes all the way at the top. The top of Silverdale. Assume you have some sort of mountain peak.
Starting point is 02:01:46 Wow, that is exciting. Can I also ask some people? Thank some people? Please. Let's ask some questions. That's probe a little. Yeah, let's fucking get to the ball. Oh, probe's very consistent.
Starting point is 02:01:57 Yeah. I would like to thank from Brisbane in Queensland. I love Brisbane so much. Also in Australia, don't know this. Neil Campton. Good name. Neil Campton. Neil Campton.
Starting point is 02:02:13 What do you feel about Neil? Neil Campton, yeah. Well, I'm afraid he is actually not really a human. Whoa! He's a humanoid. Oh. If you pull off his face face and I wouldn't recommend doing it because it would put you in deep duct danger. Deep duct danger. Triple D. And you don't want to be there. I don't want to be in the triple D. No.
Starting point is 02:02:36 If you're in the double D, that's bad enough. Triple D. No, but no good. I mean, no one's that have been seen again. If you take off your head, you will find he's actually a glow worm. Controlling the body with little joysticks. No. Just don't be ridiculous. Fucking hell, Jess. Do you remember the one when we were doing movie plots after the room? You're just asking questions like, no.
Starting point is 02:03:11 Oh, do you mean this? No. It's not leave as he is the police system. A glow worm, pop it master. Yeah, and he's not the only one. He's part of a secret society and they do control. What are they called? The glow globes.
Starting point is 02:03:32 Oh wow, that's kind of cool, I guess. Yeah, the globes. Are they based in Brisbane? They're based everywhere. Oh my God. We is there one in this room right now? Hi guys Delayed what they would say
Starting point is 02:03:52 I'm definitely not a glow worm. Oh, this is how I start every conversation I don't know what does check out he does start every conversation like this normal person doing normal glow worm I mean hang on hang on there's no light in this room at all. We don't sit in a dark room. Just me glowing. So thank you to Neil, your little glowworm. Do they mean harm or are they peaceful people? Well, they just keep everything cooking alone.
Starting point is 02:04:18 Oh, great. OK, well then I'd also like to thank from Hampton, in Victoria. Ooh, Bayside. Bayside. Ooh, they sighed. They sighed. Sam, Marklein? Hmm. Are you asking questions?
Starting point is 02:04:31 Well, it could be Mark Holland, but it's probably Marklein, Eric. Eric. And I like it. Also, Colin, that I'm my car. Uh. Conspiracy? Nah. Is Colin named after Colin Lane?
Starting point is 02:04:44 Sure. No. His name's Colin. Oh, sorry. Some question. Yeah. Not everything has to be named after him. Not every car is named after someone from Laino Wembley. Yeah. Even though every time the three of us are in a car, we sing the theme song. We sure do.
Starting point is 02:05:01 God, we're cute. Anyway, back to saying. Dave, what's this one Anyway, back to Sam. Dave, what's this one about? What's Sam being up to? Sam is secretly... Neil Diamond. What? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:05:16 Is this like a Hannah Montana kind of thing? I mean, yeah, yeah. And he's, he's, he's, because he'd never expect Neil Diamond to live in Hampton. No, you wouldn't. But he's in a fully... He does, though. Right. Because he's Neil Diamond. Diamond to live in Hampton. No, he wouldn't. That'd be a beautiful area. He does though. Right.
Starting point is 02:05:26 Because he's Neil Diamond. That makes sense. So when he puts on the Neil Diamond here, and the rhinestone cowboy shirt, if he wears those, and that's when people... But he can take that off and he's like, oh, I'm regular person. Yeah, exactly how do I want to handle stuff?
Starting point is 02:05:41 Hey, I'm Sam. Oh, hi, Sam. I also imagine he drops about 50 years of age when he takes up the rhinestones. Very good. Yeah, exactly how do I want to handle stuff? Hey, I'm Sam. Oh, hi, Sam. I also imagine he drops about 50 years of age when he takes up the grants. He's very good. Yeah, they age. I don't know why I'm guessing Sam to be about 50 years younger than Neil Diamond,
Starting point is 02:05:55 probably puts him in the 20s to 30s, which I think is, how old do you think Neil Diamond? 70 to 80? 80. 72 80, Dave. Don't twist my words, you fucking glowworm dick. Neil Diamond. Or should I say Sam Markle and is 77 years old? I mean, I don't know.
Starting point is 02:06:17 Yeah, glowworm dick. I thought he was about late 60s early seven. Now we're saying Dave's dick is a glow word. Yeah. It's a little. I'll tell you the light is not on in this room. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha There's a new Mexico! Carlos! Aralano or Arriano? Spending if you are Spanish speaking yourself. That's great. That is great.
Starting point is 02:06:52 Carlos is a sweet name. Oh! Carlos Santana. They obviously give Santana. Although other great Carlos's include... Richie. Richie Carlos. No, Carlos. Carlos. Carlos include Richie Carlos no
Starting point is 02:07:09 Carlos Carlos Vegas Carl from the Simpsons it's not a Carlos could be yeah, you don't know for sure Why do I want to know I think I knew a lot of Carlos's and now I can't think of any because it's a fucking Conspiracy and that is the conspiracy is that you think you know You think you know Carlos's but there's only one and his name is caros alleyano So if you're at work and someone's like who's in Carlos and you're like which Carlos and then they go What do you mean and then you think about it? And then you go hang on there's only one it's one of those mandela effect things. You think you remember knowing lots of car losses, but you've never met one You know never met one Nelson Mandela, but you don't you know Carlos. You know Carlos the one
Starting point is 02:07:52 Are you googling car loss now? This has gone very long. We should be wrapping this up Yeah, I'm just looking at all these great car losses and I there are plenty that I know Including one that I don't know basketball player called Carlos Boosa Not a real person. Obviously the internet just quickly made up this page. It'd be good. Google algorithm. Boosa.
Starting point is 02:08:12 Okay, guys, come on. I thought you were better than that. Come on. But we're down to one over Lord, the one Carlos Arilano. Arillano. I would also like to thank from, finally, Denton in Texas. Didn't know that existed before today, but now I want to go finally, Denton in Texas. Did know that existed before today, but now I wanna go there.
Starting point is 02:08:27 Denton, Texas. Keely, Hagenbush. Oh my God. And I say, no, no, no, Keely. Hagenbush, nah, Hagenbush. Hagenbush, which is such a great name. This is six of the best names yet again. I mean, New World Record again.
Starting point is 02:08:42 That's too weak after weak. God, they are good. Finally, bring us home. Yes, what's the conspiracy concerning? Killy. I thought you'd ask me, and I don't know. The two Dentons, I think of. Andrew. And Terry.
Starting point is 02:08:56 Of course. So maybe an illustrator or some sort of rope related. Is that Denton in Texas is the main rope manufacturer, but they just rationed it out to us because they're holding off. To keep the process of rope high. That's a real conspiracy. And then they're just waiting for that rope shortage and then they're gonna fuck us. With rope?
Starting point is 02:09:26 With the bump, the price up even more. Right, so it's kinda like the maple syrup ice. So they're controlling the price by controlling supply. Supply and demanded rope, there's big demand. Is there enough rope? Well, that's something they ask often. And if there is, then they're gonna take some away. Yeah, then they stop sharing.
Starting point is 02:09:46 They've been known to burn their own ropes sometimes. Yeah. Unbelievable. Yeah, well, I believe it. Nacka's a lawyer at the top. All the way to Killy Hagenbush. Hagenbush, that is genuinely one of the best. Killy Hagenbush, oh my God.
Starting point is 02:10:03 So great. Is it potentially, is it Killy H Hagenbush. Oh my God. It's so great. Is it potentially is it Killy, Hagen, Butch? It's B-U-C-H on the end. Mm, I like what you say, but I bet you we're doing it wrong. But Hagen, I mean, if we're saying it wrong, Killy, change it because we're doing it better. Hagenbush is sick. If it's like Hagenbuck, that's shit. Oh, what? Hagenbuck's great. Hagenbuck. Hagenbuck.
Starting point is 02:10:24 Hagenbuck. What about Hagenbuch. Hagenbuck. Hagenbuck. What about a Hagenbooch? Oh Hagenboochin. Oh I mean I'm changing their name, but I like it. I like where I'm going Follow my nose We appreciate that. Glow on Amsterdam. Noises. Thank you so much to everyone that Supporters on Patreon and to everyone at home, if you're still listening to this, get in contact to us via our website, dogoonpod.com. Suggest a topic, go to Patreon, go to our YouTube channel, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram,
Starting point is 02:10:51 all that stuff, and email us. Dogoonpod.gmo.com. The line is always open. Is that true? I mean, you can't email it any time. We probably won't see it straight away, but it's piracy, maybe. Oh, we've got people manning the phones. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 02:11:08 And warmening the phones. Women can the phones too, you know, it's 2018. But we've got to get out of here. Thanks so much for your support, and we'll be back next week with another episode. But until then, also, thank you, and I will say goodbye. Goodbye. Bye. So, but until then, also thank you and I will say goodbye. Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!
Starting point is 02:11:26 Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive.
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