Two In The Think Tank - 155 - The Blood Countess

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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Starting point is 00:01:03 not available in all safe and situations. Are you working way too hard for way too little? There's never been a better time to consider a career in IT. You could enjoy a recession-resistant career and a rewarding field with plenty of growth opportunities and often flexible work environments. Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation.

Starting point is 00:01:23 You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus Visit PlanetBroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do-Go-On. My name is Dave Warnockiki and here I am with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Here I am. Here I am as well. Oh, Lord, are you, what are you singing for? Weird. That might be the sixth or seventh time of that song. Somehow come up and he comes out.

Starting point is 00:02:19 Is it I, Lord? Great to be here on the Lord hour. They're just an amen. Whoever wrote that song, let us off the out. Is it? Yeah, it is you. I mean, yes, it's you. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:35 She's the least. Is that Lord? Yeah, no. Talked like that. Not, I'm not a, I'm not in a blasphemic mood. Thank you very much. I'll leave that to you. You heathen child.

Starting point is 00:02:47 I'll be the heathen here. I'll fill this one. Beazel Bob. That's not how you say it is a day. How do you say it? Satan. I don't know. I don't know, I always say it.

Starting point is 00:03:00 It seems easier. Yeah, Satan always seems easier. But feel the dark Lord. Yes, don't always walk the easy path, Jess. No, I always go the easy way. Path of least resistance. Path of least resistance. Of paying for convenience.

Starting point is 00:03:14 Yeah. And I don't like doing things for myself. Unless it's paying. I love to pay. For convenience. I love it. It's if I can like a true sentence. Number one thing that's been my money on convenience. Yeah. For convenience. I love it. It's broken like a true Satan. Number one thing that's been my money on convenience.

Starting point is 00:03:28 Yeah, and comfort. Oh gosh yes. Classic devil worshipper. Nothing more comfortable than Satan's throne. Yeah, I'll get 666 packets of satin sheets please. Yeah, sorry. Satan sheets. You hate yourself. Packets of satin sheets, please. Yeah, sorry satin sheets You hate yourself. Yeah, I'd realized why I was my brain was thinking of satin was because I'm not very imaginative And a nimp a similar word You're probably kind of going for silk sheets really rather than yeah, yeah, what are you sleeping in satin rules?

Starting point is 00:04:03 Velvet sheets for me. Thanks. Crushed velvet. The Velvet curtains. Right. Yeah. If I was born on the stage, leather sheets for me. Water sheets for me. Cold water. I sleep in a bath. Oh, that's a little call forward to later on here. Anyway, well, before you call forward, shall we just remind people that our Howler Show, our one voyage Melbourne show before we head over to the UK? It's coming up this Saturday. This Saturday afternoon, a couple of tickets left. We believe.

Starting point is 00:04:39 Possibly. Maybe. Try your luck. Kid. Yeah, good. You know, give it a check, give it a try. The kid. We don't care.

Starting point is 00:04:47 Kid. I've got to do go on pod.com for those tickets. And the other thing really quickly to mention is I launched my brand new show on the Planet Broadcasting Network, the nerdyest show of them all, book cheat. I don't know if that's true. There's no way that's the note.

Starting point is 00:05:00 On, even on the Planet Broadcasting Network, you would know we're near the notice. If you're getting called a nerd on the Planet Broadcasting Network, you were nowhere near the notice. If you're getting called a nerd on the Planet Broadcasting Network, which also includes the podcast Dooga on the podcast, which is about a different nerd. Learning, there's also a comic book podcast. One's hosted by a goat for God's sake. I don't think you're safe. I think you're actually probably one of the coolest podcasts on the network.

Starting point is 00:05:24 All right, well, I just released the coolest podcast on the network book sheet, all about classic books, where I've read it, so you don't have to tell you all about it. And our two episodes are up right now, the picture of Dorian Gray with Mr. Sunday movies and Big Mason speaking of the goat are from the weekly planet and Matt Stewart and Joel Dusser from Sandspans Radio were on the Othello episode. Thanks everyone that's been jumping in and giving this new thing a crack. Appreciate that. When I say that a goat hosts podcasts on this day we were also going about meet greatest of all time. Okay, now. What are you talking about Jess? Satan. Satan of all time.

Starting point is 00:05:58 Well, you. Well, you in the room when Ben Russell was screaming like a goat just the other day. I was like in the room. Yeah Russell was screaming like a goat just the other day? I was like, it was the room. Yeah, because we were all here. Oh, yeah, that vaguely rings a bell. Yeah, it vaguely rings a bell that behind you while you were sitting at your computer trying to work, Ben Russell was going, ah! Oh, yeah, that does ring a bell, but I, geez, I focus hard on working.

Starting point is 00:06:22 I was probably working on this report. I just zoned out before because I was daydream about what I'm going, I was probably working on this report. I just zoned out before, because I was daydream about what I'm gonna eat on the plane on our way to the UK. I was like, oh, playing food. I'm not really excited. I reckon you're maybe the only person ever who's been excited about playing food.

Starting point is 00:06:35 Oh, cannot wait for that horrible scrambled egg to be presented for me. Ooh. I love those bapparoles with a bit of. Yeah, baff, a double back. I'm gonna watch a movie, and I'm gonna have a little nap, I'll put a little, I'm gonna ask, oh man, it's so excited. I'm gonna watch a movie as well.

Starting point is 00:06:52 Can we watch the same movie, can we press play at the same time, please, Matt, please? Of course. Yes, Dave, do you wanna join, or are you too cool for us now? I'm probably gonna be watching something cool. Cars 2 or something. Moana. I like art films, I'm probably going to be watching something cool. Cars 2 or something. Moana. Yeah. I like art films.

Starting point is 00:07:07 I'm the coolest member of the Planet Broadcast Network. Do after what you do. No, we didn't say that. We said your podcast was cool. Not you. Yeah, certainly not. Cool by association. Definitely not you.

Starting point is 00:07:18 With your own podcast. Yeah, that's right. Podcasting, I mean, in itself is inherently cool. Very cool. The coolest of the cool DuPods. Anyway, Matt, why don't you do your cool topic right now? Well, I will, because this is blockbuster Tofa Grace. Maguire months.

Starting point is 00:07:37 Show me the money. Wait, token of guile. Okay, great. I went Jerry Maguire. Yeah, no, we could tell. I don't see how yours makes any more sense in mind, but, great. Yeah. Oh, I went Jerry McGuire. Yeah, no, we could tell. I don't see how yours makes any more sense than mine, but I know it doesn't, but like we knew where you went because of the quote. So, right, well, really, I'm saying to you, I feel the need, the need for speed. Yeah, you can get Jerry McGuire again. Great film. I don't know, how does Jerry McGuire fit into block Tofe Grace? If you don't get it, you're not cool.

Starting point is 00:08:12 Yeah, I just can't. Okay, now that's true. Your point is that it's blockbuster, block, both of the other. That is Jerry McGuire, blockbuster movie. I get it now. Thank you. Um, blockbuster months. We're doing our most requested kinds of topics,

Starting point is 00:08:26 and then also underneath that more polling, bloody hell we love to poll. We've lived to poll. We've lived to poll, poll to live. Last week we did the third most popular kind of topic, which was Dave. Wacky or quirky events from history. And now we're up to the second most popular corn of choppy Silver medalist and it is second comes right up to first serial killers Really would have thought that that would be number one. I was expecting number one as well

Starting point is 00:09:00 But no and I didn't actually beat number three by all that much. It was pretty close. Number four, not too far away. I don't know if we do say what number four was. I don't think you did, but why don't reveal it? Cryptids. People love cryptids. People love cryptids. I love cryptids as well, everyone.

Starting point is 00:09:15 I've been so long I said cryptoid and thanks for people for not telling me else. Is it, well, are you wrong? Are you wrong? I don't know. Anyway, we're doing Syraculers. Cryptoite, nerd over there. Back, back where he belongs. Got it.

Starting point is 00:09:30 I need to be put back in my place. Thank you. I was getting too arrogant when I was reading Shakespeare. And the way we get onto topic is with a question. And this week's question for blockbuster Toe for Grace McGuire. Show me the money. Show me the question.

Starting point is 00:09:46 Week two. The question is, which, I say which like Dave does now. Second three years or I think I say which like that. Which, you really, anyway, doesn't matter. Thank you. Thank you so much. You're one of my top 10 influences. Which, absolutely not. Yes, you're so super question. I mean, next you'll be asking if you're charming again. Come on.

Starting point is 00:10:08 I didn't ask that. I asked if I was charismatic. Sorry. Charming, we know is true. Charismatic, I learnt the hard way. Incorrect. Carisma and charm. Opposites.

Starting point is 00:10:18 Very different things. The question this week is, which infamous serial killer has been called the most prolific female murderer and the most prolific murderer of the Western world by the Guinness Book of World Records and Dave your Guinness Book World Records expert. Yes, I am. Ask me any record. I'll tell you what it is. This one. All right, look, let me warm up please. Oh, okay, long as fingernails. Seven fifth, four. You made that up. Yeah, belongs to a man, had them originally shaving off. Oh, yeah, why like?

Starting point is 00:10:53 Shaving off, yeah. I like that either. How do you use like it? Stop talking. A power tool to get him off. Stop it. His hand was permanently disabled. Stop it right now.

Starting point is 00:11:01 Stop it right now. What about this one, Dave? Seven foot four. I like to get this saved off. Like Queen Victoria or someone like that? What? No. You can compare as a serial killer.

Starting point is 00:11:13 Well, I didn't, most prolific maybe, killed lots of people. Right. No, I'm gonna know when you say it. Sorry, I'm not Queen Victoria, sorry. It's like I was thinking about one of the older queens like Queen Elizabeth. It is an Elizabeth. Oh Elizabeth. Give you a couple of seconds.

Starting point is 00:11:30 Druggan, we would have heard of this Slating. I think so maybe. I think I'll definitely a famous one, but not anywhere. You and I can guess at the same time. All right. Elizabeth Barthree. Barthree. Yeah, sure if that's how it said no. Sorry. I missed Because you're both speaking you say with me Dave Elizabeth the Fuck. Don't make me go out of the one. I really wanted every time It's that it's the accent that's That gives me trouble, but I think it's something like Barthory. What does it say Barthory? IK the blood countis.

Starting point is 00:12:06 Oh, that is awesome. That is sick. A.K.A. countis Dracula. Oh, it sounds gross. Yes. Any relation to Vlad Dracol III? A.K. Vlad the Impaler. No, but their mythos has sort of been merged a bit, potentially.

Starting point is 00:12:27 Their mythos. Their, so. No. Somebody suggested Cinderella. You're like, oh, yeah. Oh, no good. What was in this apple? Oh, the glass shoes, very uncomfortable. No, it's such a, this is such a brutal topic. Well, it could be on it.

Starting point is 00:12:58 It could be a really nice serial killer. Yeah, she would just get a lot of blood. Really humane. She saved a lot of lives. Blood drinker, maybe. Oh, yeah. Elizabeth get a lot of blood. Really humane. She saved a lot of lives. Blood drinker maybe. Oh yeah. Elizabeth Bathory was born on August 7th, 1560 in a year, Batoyangri. So probably no chance of her listening to this podcast, which is great.

Starting point is 00:13:19 Well, I don't know. It depends how much blood she drank. Ah, good call. How much of a vampire she is. She's got a unicorn blood. So hungarian, so that's why there's got an accent that you're not sure of. That's right, yeah. I don't know the hungarian accent.

Starting point is 00:13:32 I've been hungry. Great place. Do you have an Irish pub there? Probably, but now I wouldn't have. I went to some cool bars though. Great bar scene in Budapest. Wow. Budapest, the town, three towns come together to make one town.

Starting point is 00:13:47 Bud, A and a pest. Budapest and O Budapest, I think. Oh, it doesn't matter. Probably, I mean, it does to them, I'm sure. She was born into nobility, a prominent Protestant family, and grew up in a castle. Ooh, Lady Duh. That was big plays in the Kingdom of Hungary, which covered modern day Hungary. Protestant family and grew up in a castle. Mm. Lady down.

Starting point is 00:14:05 That would be plays in the kingdom of Hungary, which covered modern day Hungary. Ha ha ha ha. Hang on. Whoa whoa whoa, why not back? I'm not a geography expert like Jess, but that does not add up. Dave, let me explain please.

Starting point is 00:14:18 I don't want to explain that either. Also Romania and Slovakia. Which Romania is where Vlad, the Imperialist. That's right. Transylvania is part of this. also Romania and Slovakia. Romania is where Vlad, the impalison. That's right. Transylvania is part of this. Her powerful family controlled Transylvania and included King's princes, cardinals,

Starting point is 00:14:35 knights and judges. Her uncle Stephen was the King of Poland. So they were... She just called him Uncle Steve. Just Uncle Steve, the King of Poland, whatever. Not a deal. I've got to always beat Chas on the weekends. He's drunk I was. She just called him Uncle Steve. Just Uncle Steve, the King of Poland, whatever. What am I? I got to always beat Chas on the weekends. He's drunk every Christmas, he does this every time.

Starting point is 00:14:50 Whatever, I'm not. That's the only thing. Uncle Steve. Stay up! Steve, boo! Bathroom's family also included a bunch of oddballs. Like every family. I mean, Uncle Steve isn't odd enough.

Starting point is 00:15:02 I should say that this is, because it's such, it's quite an old topic, and there are how much of where the myth begins and where reality ends, and that sort of stuff is hard to know. So there's a lot of people who argue about this. So some people say Steve wasn't even a Uncle. Some say his name was Greg.

Starting point is 00:15:24 Greg, Greg said. And it was just a butcher down the road. Steve wasn't even a ronkel. Some say his name was Greg. Greg he Greg said. And he was just a butcher down the road. But also the King of Poland. Now what? Everyone agrees on that. Ah, okay, that's good then. You know how to mess on that.

Starting point is 00:15:34 Bathory's family also included a bunch of oddballs, and they passed on their knowledge to her. According to one source, an uncle taught her Satanism, and an aunt taught her about Sato-Masakism. She also went Latin, Greek, and German. Around at education. That was from the boring heart. Yeah. She could speak four languages, fluently, I believe.

Starting point is 00:15:58 When she was around 10 or 11 or 12, honestly, three different sources said each of those ages. 10 to 12. 10 to 12, she was engaged to count, Fahrenheit, nads, dusty. I want to call this guy the count. Count, count, nadads, de. It just feels like that's, you don't make a name like that, nadads, de. No.

Starting point is 00:16:21 There's some that not quite working in my mouth there. And he was from another prominent Hungarian family. And in 1575 they married when she was around 15 and he was around 19. Apparently over 4,000 people attended the wedding. Which is big-ish. Bratila. Just want to keep it small. Just want to keep it small. Intermay. Imagine not getting an invite. Oh my god.

Starting point is 00:16:48 Yeah. You're the 4,000 and first most close family member. Oh, sorry. We're just trying to keep it as small. Sorry. No plus ones. Yeah, sorry. We can't have 8,000 people. Sorry.

Starting point is 00:16:59 You know, you know, you know, at the wedding towards the end of the night, and you're not super close, and you'll have a real small chat to the bridegroom towards the end. They're like, we're just making the rounds. Yeah, imagine that. Oh, for thousands. We'd have to start the, we could buy rounds at the start of the wedding.

Starting point is 00:17:15 Probably before the wedding. Just the rest, thanks so much for coming out. Yeah. Really appreciate the dipping into the honeymoon fountain. No, no, no. Oh, yeah, the wishing well would be overflowing. The honeymoon fountain. Is that what they do? A wishing well, honeymoon fountain or whatever. Oh yeah, the wishing well would be overflowing. The honeymoon fountain. Is that what they do?

Starting point is 00:17:26 A wishing well, honeymoon fountain. Oh, forget what you bloody, bloody dutus do. Matt, you give everyone an fancy name. I call them the money pit. Thought of the money pit, which is next to the spitten pit. Oh, that was for the slurpen. As a wedding present, Nedad's D gave his new wife the castle catch-teach. Catch-teach.

Starting point is 00:17:51 And he gives the woman who's got everything. Another castle. Another cast-teach. The castle was in modern-day Slovakia and it remains. Oh, that's fun. All right, this light. This line, all right, very late last night, but it's good. Let me have another challenge crack at it. Yeah. The calcah was in modern day Slovakia and it's remains remain there.

Starting point is 00:18:14 That is fun. As it still Slovakia as well. It is still just that ruin. Slovakia. Well, yeah, so that was in Hungary, but now Slovakia. And this became their main residence. Over the following decades, the couple had children. This is another thing that seems, there's different sources saying different things, but it seems like probably four are read different names.

Starting point is 00:18:37 Maybe they were different translations in English or whatever, but it seems strange how much the, even things like that, like a noble woman who's quite powerful. You'd think it'd be clear how many kids she had. There was at one story that she had a kid when she was very young, like a teenager, to a peasant boy and they gave the kid away to someone. But, you know, who knows if that's true or not?

Starting point is 00:19:01 Wow. And if it matters, it doesn't. In these years, the Christian Hungary was at constant, there was a Christian country. Not a Christian. I'm not introducing a new character called the Christian Hungary. They were at constant war with the Ottoman Empire from the south. And the count was a handy military man, Tris Dazdi or Nod-Nod-Nod-Dazdi. Can you try and say? The Dazdi- Why am I struggling with that so much? I've read it so many times this week.

Starting point is 00:19:33 I can't see it written down from here. NAD ASDY. Nod-Daz-D. Nod-Daz-D. Yeah, you may have that down there at least. Nod-D. Nod-Daz-D. Or NAD-Daz-D. I think it's the think it's the second D that makes it my mouth trip out. Just call him the count. I was in trouble. The count.

Starting point is 00:19:49 Yeah, count's good. So the count was a handy military man and it would spend up to 10 months of the year away from home fighting. In 1578, he became chief commander of the Hungarian Army, heading out on a military campaign against the Ottoman Empire. So the Ottoman Empire, Dave, you would know, Jess, you would know, there were a big... Flood stalls.

Starting point is 00:20:08 Islamic... Islamic. ...an empire. And apparently it was on, like, they were a huge powerful empire. Hungary was quite a relatively powerful one as well, and they were sort of on the front step of Christian Europe's fight against. Which I didn't know any of that to really matter this. So as he was all the way off and this left bar three in charge of their

Starting point is 00:20:33 estates and also of governing of the local populace. So she was very important, very powerful. She was actually from probably a more prominent family than her husband and she even made him take her surname, I believe. Yes, bitch. Yes! They were actually command their families were wealthier than the royal family, the King of Hungary. So they were a richer family than the king. Oh, our new king. Yeah, which is interesting. Apparently, Mr. Lasz, the king of Hungary, often borrowed money from them as well. And he built up a fair debt to Nadezdi and Bathory.

Starting point is 00:21:17 Liz and the Count. Liz and the Count. The Counts are Liz. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Wow. Ah, ah, ah, ah. ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, and his enemies. He'd come back with jewels and cash. So, a lot of pillaging. Yeah, yeah, because he needed it. Obviously.

Starting point is 00:21:49 Hey, I'm the richest guy in my country. I want you money. They're dead. I'm taking it back, chucking it on the pile. So, can't take it with you. I might as well take it with me. I'm gonna make it. Anyway, you are dead.

Starting point is 00:22:00 Why am I talking to you? Gotta get. It has been a long day. I am pooped. Cheerio. I'm still talking. What am I talking to you? Gotta get. It has been a long day. I am pooped. Cheerio. I'm still talking. What am I like? Oh, pocket watch.

Starting point is 00:22:12 Barthry would divide her time moving around her multiple castle estates. And at each of these castles, they'd have a staff of servants. And many of these were made up of peasants from the local villages. And it is with these peasant servants that Barthreys reputation and reputation as one of the coolest coasts of all time this is where it comes from. According to history.com to please Barthreys, the count reportedly built a torture chamber to her specifications. And that Barthreys torture included jamming pins and needles

Starting point is 00:22:48 under the fingernails of her servant, and tying them down, smearing them with honey, and leaving them to be attacked by bees and ants. It's a quote from history.com. Wow! Oh, the ants! And you're standing there going, this is gonna take a long time.

Starting point is 00:23:05 The ants, why have they put the box of ants so far away? I mean, it's an ant farm. It's a contained, this is what they're going to break out of their farm. They have to work out how to get out of the farm. To get to me, I've left them small and screwdrivers and hammers. Once and instructions on how to disentangle the farm. In a matter of generations of ants, they will learn the skills required, pass them down to their children. They'll get it.

Starting point is 00:23:36 Structural and error. Many lives will be lost in the ad community. Poor girl coming in, honey's just like licking her, honey off herself to survive. Yeah, most of them stuffed it. Waiting for it. Honey's not, it's not a round, it's not enough. It's not enough.

Starting point is 00:23:55 What do you want, saying what's the thing that you have all your food together? What does that make? If I said not a round, how would you finish that? How? Not a balance diet. There we go. Diet is the word. I could not think of. Oh boy, you are too. Don't? No, it's not a balance diet. There we go. Diet is the word.

Starting point is 00:24:05 I could not think of. Oh boy, you are too. Don't believe in it. Don't believe in diet. Don't believe in it. Everything in moderation. The count is also believed to have participated in the torches apparently, but history.com also suggests that he quote, may have also restrained her impulses.

Starting point is 00:24:24 So by building here a torture chamber. So he's aware of it and builds her a torture chamber. Guys, controversial opinion, husband of the year. I'm not into it. I'm not into it personally. I think everyone has the support. I think everyone should have a support. I think everyone should have an outlet. I just, yeah, and that she would have been hard

Starting point is 00:24:50 to be vulnerable in the space and admit that that was your outlet. So she was like, this has been embarrassing, but we've been married since I was 15. Engaged since I was 10. I feel like in the age of 11 or 12. I really just wanted to address some people, but I just don't have the space to do it. I feel like in 10. 11 or 12. I really just wanted to audition people, but I just don't have the space to do it.

Starting point is 00:25:07 I'm getting all eggs. I'm anxious and antsy. That's why we keep fighting. It's because I didn't have an outlet. And he was like, I hear you. I'm listening and I understand. It sounds like you misheard her. Say antsy and just got a lot of antsy.

Starting point is 00:25:19 Okay, you want some ants? We get ants. That's cool. That's great. You think you're in honey? You think I'm in honey on one of the seven skills? We can do that. That's cool. That's great. You think you're in honey. You think in honey on one of the servants girls? We can do that. That's fine. I Love that. I love love is what I'm saying. I love love. Oh my god. Do you love love? I love love?

Starting point is 00:25:34 So much in common. You've changed a lot since the show started. Yeah, I used to hate love. Yeah, didn't I? Used to hate people torturing innocent peasants, but now you're on board. I'm not on board with that side of things I'm on board with the supportive part. I'm twisted. Yeah. I was saying I appreciated him Listening to her not judging her This is putting positivity out to the universe and this is what you're throwing back at her Excuse me. Thank you, Matt Dave, I'll accept your apology and writing with him the next three business days. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:26:07 Well, no thanks because I hate love. You hate love. Yeah, and I love hate, which is very hard for me to deal with. Okay, well, it's because I hate everything about love. That's a real paradox. Even loving hate. I hate that I love hate. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:26:19 Oh, dear. Oh, Dave's putting nails under his nails. Smother me, honey. Not again, Dave. You nails under his nails. Smother me, honey. Not again, Dave. You asked us once before. And you said that was for the end. I said no question. I watched the Discovery Channel did a series 10, so he was back about worst killer of all time.

Starting point is 00:26:42 And they did an episode on the Countess. And so I watched this on YouTube and it was not very good, admittedly. Like not well made or like upsetting. I was just, I just didn't, I don't know, I didn't buy it. There was this one guy, Professor Raymond McNally, who is an expert on her. But he's like all in, he's like, she's a vampire, basically. Basically, not quite, but he's start like nearly right up the top of the episode. This is a quote from him, which I'm like,

Starting point is 00:27:11 I don't, I don't think you know what you're talking about, or you've got weird opinions anyway, you guys. It's far more frightening in a way than a male doing that sort of thing. It's a female torturing and killing young girls. Is that what are you talking about? What the fuck? It's so weird. That's more frightening. To this professor.

Starting point is 00:27:30 Oh, fuck off. Whose dedicated is life to studying? What's his point there is that like, is it women should do that to other women or that she should have more maternal instincts or that women soft and don't do all the things? Yeah, I couldn't. Because guess what? It's 2018 and women can murder. Well, it wasn't 2018 when he said that,

Starting point is 00:27:49 nor when she killed many, many people. But yeah, I do. Oh, yeah, then it's far. She's far. There was someone about this guy. He was... I'm imagining him with like... He's exactly how you imagine that.

Starting point is 00:28:03 Tell me, what are you... I'm imagining quite... I'm imagining like fuzzy hair. He's exactly how you imagine. I can't imagine. Tell me, what are you doing? I'm imagining quite, I'm imagining like fuzzy hair. Pushy eyebrows. I'm imagining brown. I probably would draw on a bit gray. Yeah, for me. Pushy eyebrows.

Starting point is 00:28:14 Yeah, I've pushed you up. And I'm imagining him quite round. I don't think he wears glasses. And I think he speaks a bit like... I get quite animated, but I'm talking about my subjects. You know I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just thought of a woman torturing a woman. It just, it makes, it makes the mind boggled. You know what, boggled your mind.

Starting point is 00:28:33 Are we close? Yeah, it's pretty close. Not bad. But it costs, it's, oh, the mind is boggled. You're just, you said they're swilling, swilling youry, and you're like, how could a woman do that? Man could do that. Yes, I could do that. Of course, of course, I could do that.

Starting point is 00:28:49 But Charlotte, Charlotte, my granddaughter, could she do that? I think not. She's weak. She's a meek little thing. She can't wield a knife or butter someone's buttocks with honey. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Starting point is 00:29:03 Buttocks, someone's buttocks. Oh, you've Googled it, yes. Yes, 100%. I was imagining a bit more deranged looking to be fair. He looks like a dapper gentleman. Yeah, now look, and I- I was imagining like a mad scientist kind of type. I'd tell, yeah, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:29:20 It was mainly that one, to be honest. I'm just like, what are you talking about? Yeah, that's great. No, we've built a whole character now. There's like, you know, there's a, so someone's coming at you and they're wearing a mask. Yeah. And they're killing her and you're like,

Starting point is 00:29:34 this is pretty scary, but it's just a man. So, you know, not that scary. Pulls off the mask and warping up. Oh my God, no, not like this. Rumors began to spread about Barthrey's cruelty during these years also. It's pretty bad luck for the peasants, really, isn't it? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:54 Imagine, you get in the film that they're slaves or they are getting people are applying for the job and then being like, oh, yes. So it did not mention that in the video. Now, it's like Devils, where's Prada? Have everyone's like, oh, yeah, so it did not mention that in the video. No, but it's like, it's like Devils, Devils wears pride, you know, everyone's like, no, nobody stays in this job. Right. It's just a really tough job, a hard bitch boss.

Starting point is 00:30:12 Yeah, you got to find the new Harry Potter, you are out of there. But it's like, if you can stick it out, if you can prove yourself, huge opportunities. Right. If you can stick it out, I think it's probably similar. If you can handle the ants, you're going places. Yeah, you know, because the victims were peasants though, and because she was in the powerful position, nothing, nothing really

Starting point is 00:30:36 happened. She was basically protected from having these allegations seriously investigated. In 1604 though, over a few years ahead, her husband the count died at the age of 48. And with his death, Barthrey lost both her husband and also supposedly his restraining influence. Oh no. Whoa. Oh no, she was being restrained to this whole story. According to history.com In the 1600s, 48s, like, is that a good ending? I think it's okay. I don't think it's great. He's still young.

Starting point is 00:31:11 Yeah, he's young. Yeah, she lives on. Yeah. It was a mystery illness. Oh, no. Started feeling numbness in his legs and then a couple years later, they still don't know what it was, but it wasn't her. That sounds like they were, they had a great relationship.

Starting point is 00:31:27 They were strong, they were tight. I know they did, but it wasn't. And how she was quite a good mother, despite killing a lot of children, she was also apparently quite a, you know, that's not her own. I don't know. Well, that's nice, I guess. It's all, you know, I think a lot of this has been built from small amounts of information and people have inferred a lot and, you know, professors have boggled, had their minds boggled

Starting point is 00:31:52 it by different facts. Boggles the mind! From here, some say she took her cruelty up a notch. And according to an article on, this is an article I liked a bit, all that's interesting.com here to that website. Oh, love it. It's a good website. I haven't heard of it, but it's now my favorite.

Starting point is 00:32:11 Yeah, the right sounds great. Yeah. Off that, they said, witnesses suggested that it was at this time that the killings began. And the first victims were these peasant girls, we were talking about, who were brought to the castle to work. Some said, you know, come to the castle, we'll get work for you here. Yeah, work like ants. Yeah. Come and add you. Yeah. Honey, you like honey? I don't think I'm gonna link it much anymore. Yeah, I'm not talking on crumpets.

Starting point is 00:32:37 Okay. This is where I'm history.com again. Alleges that alleges that she often bit chunks of flesh from her victims. And one unfortunate girl was even forced to cook and eat her own flesh. Oh, battery reportedly believes that human blood would keep her from looking, I would keep her looking young and healthy. This is how just a little bit told you she's still alive. Yes. Well, this is something that is definitely disputed How much she was into this blood and how much of that is myth?

Starting point is 00:33:11 Some say she bathed in it some say she drank it others say that is A lot of those stories came out years after she died So maybe part of the the mythos around her but that's not good for you, is it? Yeah medical sciences come a long way, but... That's not good for you, is it? Yeah, medical sciences come a long way since... Like drinking, it's not good, is it? Vampire sciences come a long way since then. That's not good, is it? No, it is not good.

Starting point is 00:33:35 Like drinking piss, not good. But better. Is piss or blood better? Piss, I don't know. I think piss would probably be more digestible. Right, okay. I don't understand anything. So if you got blood, I could find a blood. I wouldn't go straight to it. I wouldn't get like a blood rush. No. Is that such a thing as a blood rush a blood of the head? What

Starting point is 00:33:58 if I put I mean you're literally pouring it into your head. You got to hang upside down. Just the triggers don't think about it too much. Yeah, I'm thinking about it. Because I'm imagining it. I'm not thinking about it at all. Don't talk like that because you're going to make me a picture it. It's like really. Ah, no.

Starting point is 00:34:14 Still warm? Yeah. Pretty cool it down. I should say I didn't mention this at the start. Once the listeners voted for serial killers, the second most popular kind of topic, I put eight different serial killers up for the polling for our patrons and this is one that by far was the most popular. Wow, awesome. Yeah, there's a...

Starting point is 00:34:36 So you sicko's wanted this. Now imagine a warm pint of thick blood. I think a cold pint of thick blood. Yeah, more refreshing. Yeah, maybe put it on a stick, a little popsicle, popsicle. Potsicle.

Starting point is 00:34:51 Gaspachar. Cold soup. Anyway, thanks Patreon, appreciate this. The rumors were still ignored. And I read in a few different places, that this was because they were peasants basically. Not just that she was powerful, but because they were peasants, basically meant that it was no big deal. Oh, that's awful. Apparently the line between discipline and cruelty was very fine back then. And yeah, the workers' rights weren't what they were.

Starting point is 00:35:20 Yeah, it wasn't the blame. Nanny stated it is now. Right. You can't torture your peasants anymore. It's gonna need a form for everything. Ugh. Can you start? Can you sign this? Just it's a waver saying that I can put ants on you. No, no reason. It's a mover. Probably never have to do it.

Starting point is 00:35:34 No, it's just in case. Just in case. So back then, if your dinner was five minutes late, you could tell the chef that the next meal will be them. Yeah. And they have to cook their own leg. And that was everyone was like, what's the problem? No, that's fair, I wasn't like this.

Starting point is 00:35:48 Yeah, tough but fair. Thank you, I appreciate this. Yeah, also, I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one.

Starting point is 00:35:57 So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose the next one. So I get to choose a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one.

Starting point is 00:36:05 I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one.

Starting point is 00:36:13 I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one.

Starting point is 00:36:21 I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a good one. I'm not a goodgle. It does boggle the mind. And I think in part that that's why the whole myth of her wanting the virgin blood and thinking that that was what kept her young. I think that because it was all specifically young girls, I think that that um, rising to that myth or whatever.

Starting point is 00:36:41 Oh, just a stunning. Just a death of young virgin women. Okay, I'm interested if you've what triggered this. Well, if she sees, it's only virgin buzzer, she's just being young ugly girls. You're definitely a virgin. No, I'm not a swear. Come on. Oh, who's got, seriously?

Starting point is 00:37:03 Come on. That's what made me laugh. No, I'm not a swear. Come on. Oh, who's got a car ball? Come on. That's what baby love. And I thought about not saying it, and then I thought, now. I think it's funny that you think that ugly people don't have sex. No, I know. Well, that's part... Anyway.

Starting point is 00:37:18 They shouldn't. I can't help but feel a little offended. How about we tell you what you can't do? Yeah, maybe the alga's will rise up against you. What do you think about that? So you guys say I'm pretty. No, I was saying you're a bloody bully. Well, I'm only assuming you're thinking that because of what you're saying. I'll order you laughing about yourself.

Starting point is 00:37:46 Yeah, of course. It's so difficult. I ask I go, we were gonna stay together. Us, I go. Oh, thanks a lot. Oh, Dave. I'm so sorry. I was at the Dave.

Starting point is 00:37:59 That was not news to you. Tell me you're not fine with it. Yeah. I was at the banging. You were not banging. I was banging. finding that out there I was out there banging you were not banging I am banging and I was banging we've seen your hair cut Dave there's no banging if you had that hair cut back back you can see my hair cut now thinking but what else can I do what do you

Starting point is 00:38:20 want from it oh Oh yeah, my handbag. I'm quick in here. Sorry, Tanny, I'll go eat people out there. I mean, Jess, I'm wrong. All virgins, it's not because you're ugly. I was just joking. I'd love if people write in because they've got such low self-esteem, they think you're talking about them, but enough self-esteem to be offended.

Starting point is 00:38:42 That's the real sweet spot. I can only assume you were talking about me, and I am offended. I've had sex on no less than six occasions. No more than nine. I don't know why it's vague like that. No great with numbers either. How do you gonna make fun of that?

Starting point is 00:39:00 You gotta keep count. You got it. One of the rules. Keep it Dali. Keep it keep it. One of the rules. Keep it Dairy. Keep it Dairy. Come on, Psyx Dairy. We've all got him.

Starting point is 00:39:09 We've all got him. We've all got a belt. Two notches. I really need to have sex again. It's belts too loose. Pants keep falling down. Turn to us. We have a look of such desperation.

Starting point is 00:39:25 I really don't have sex again. Wear your colleagues, not your friends. That's a thing to talk to your friends about. Okay. Help me have sex again. I'm so sorry I did this to us, but it's very funny in my head. Jess, I'm sorry, but that was act out. I was playing a character.

Starting point is 00:39:48 What do you mean? The character only has two notches in his belt. I mean also a character who literally puts notches in his belt. Have you got more notches than that? No I don't have a belt. That's what your pants are. I wear very tight pants. You know this.

Starting point is 00:40:02 We're colleagues. I tell you that every day. No, we get falling to our pants? Can we get back onto topic? So let's just retrace us as before. The Big Laugh matter just mentioned that she was choosing young version girls to kill before the Big Laugh. He only, isn't it amazing?

Starting point is 00:40:17 And the relief for me was that it was actually an older, like, centuries old. Yeah. Syruah Killing is, yeah, it's, it's still flat. It almost feels like it's a fairy tale. Yeah, you can distance yourself from it a lot easier. But yeah, obviously it is super, super fun. Oh, ridiculous.

Starting point is 00:40:37 She's in the Guinness World Records. Yeah, wow. So, she's killing wealthier kids. Yes, who, and they're coming to her apparently sort of like the middle level sort of no kids of nobility are coming to To learn Sort of like for an education in society stuff I think well that's the pretense anyway. Yeah, parents not heard the rumors. She says finishing school. She means life finishing school My that was very close. Thank you very much. Right that down

Starting point is 00:41:10 I mean Jess. Yeah, I'm just said finishing school and I went Tap a tap tap. I'm totally lost my spot on the page. I did not name to mine that so I can do the thing It's almost not even mime me when you just type. Yeah, we just hit your keyboard for a bit It's almost not even mimey when you just type. Yeah, we just hit your keyboard for a bit The parent like the rumors must have been around so why are they sending them there? Maybe they're thinking well, she's doing that a peasant sure I don't know yeah, it was when she started going after these children of noble families that things started to come on stuck for her as well Where'd got back to the king and he took action. This is from Britannica her cousin Georgie Thurzul

Starting point is 00:41:54 Can't what is it Irish? There's an omelette in the first word and an accent and then say I don't know That could be anything give me give me a best shot of that. Oh, yeah, no exactly how he said it Georgie third saw Georgie sounds like a great man. Yeah, let's say Georgie Thursday. So he's count Palatine of Hungary. He was also when the count died. He was the guy that said, you know, look after my my kids and my wife. So and and and then he is the guy who's been ordered by the King to go and investigate these allegations. He's a bit conflicted. Yeah, it's a bit conflicted, but you did what the King told him to do.

Starting point is 00:42:33 Yep. Depending on the source, when Therese or I's arrived, he, the found bar three in the act of killing, or at least found very incriminating evidence, I, bodies of dying in dead torture victims. It's hard to deny. What what what she did with the bodies. Well, some of the things I read like he came

Starting point is 00:42:52 and there were bodies everywhere. There were bodies in the fireplace. The our professor friend, you know, just everything for him was just big. He's like, there were bodies under the bed. There were bodies in the cupboards. There were bodies on her hat. But like, so she's still got her own children.

Starting point is 00:43:12 Is it just the norm for them that there's bodies around or she keeps it separate? It's a wild thing for me. I think that by this stage, they're probably adult children, I think. They smell so bad. So bad. Yeah, that's what they say.

Starting point is 00:43:24 That's what I... Like the poo room. Oh, yeah. And the colour bomb. Yeah. It makes the poo room smell nice. But I, part of me, I, I'm like, it sounds so fantastic all to me that it, I don't really believe it, but...

Starting point is 00:43:40 It's not possible, but you know. Just because I don't like it much, that much clutter. It drives me insane. Yeah, what do you do with clutter? You shove it under the bed. No, what you do is you get your servants to sort of, oh, hang on, hang on. I gotta get new servants.

Starting point is 00:43:53 Mary, clean up, oh, that's Mary. Mary, clean up yourself, oh. Oh, dear. Mary, are you dead yet? You've not jumped in the fireplace. Could you drag yourself? Oh no. So Georgie oversaw an investigation,

Starting point is 00:44:10 which included something like 300 witnesses, and he collected evidence from all of them, and they were some horrific crimes accused of bar three. One of these accusations were compiled in the all that's interesting article that I was talking about before? And they include the following. Now, if you are a queasy, block your ears, but obviously if you've got this far, you're probably fine.

Starting point is 00:44:32 I mean, if you're... I'm going to try Matt's approach of just not picturing it to you. Yeah, just don't picture to it. I've not done any real picture. I'm picturing any of this. It's like hand drawn pictures. Yeah, okay. cartoons. Ooh, interesting term for it. Do I hear it? What is that, French?

Starting point is 00:44:49 Do I hear a do-go-warnemation coming up? No, please, John, no. Please, John, no. I've put them in a handy dot points. Wonderful, love a dot point. So these are some of the accusations. All right, just go through them. The Bathory burned her victims with hot ions.

Starting point is 00:45:08 Okay, that's fine. I heard this explained by others that- Why is that fine, Jess? Why? That, um, apparently, medicine at that time, they would do that to try and stop bleeding sometimes, burn wounds with hot ions. So some say maybe she was- So she's really sad.

Starting point is 00:45:22 Maybe she was- Helping. Maybe. And it's a lot easier to burn some of the hot iron than a cold iron. Exactly. It's got to be really cold. Yeah. Like ice. Yeah. And ice iron. Yeah. They accused her of beating them to death with clubs. Okay. But back then they used to seal wounds by hitting them with clubs. Clubs. Oh, it's amazing nightclubs again. I hope yeah. wounds by hitting them with clubs. Clubs. Oh, it's a major nightclubs again.

Starting point is 00:45:44 I hope, yeah. No, this is a good golf clubs. Just don't be the idiot. Come on. Golf clubs. She had a caddy with her. What do you think? Four.

Starting point is 00:45:53 Four. What are we about? About one 70, one 80 yards. Four 180 yards away. Gonna have to really chase after them. We're gonna have to throw this club. Luckily, I have great home. Like I said before, she stuck needles under fingernails. Yeah. Again, stopping bleeding.

Starting point is 00:46:13 Strip them naked out in the freezing cold. Hard. Actually, it sounds like a lot of these things also included stripping them naked. Okay, so we take that as a given? I think for the most part, yeah. This one though, it's specific because the stripping them naked out in the freezing cold before pouring ice, water over their bodies and leaving them to freeze to death. It's not very nice.

Starting point is 00:46:34 We haven't mentioned that in a previous episode about someone who would do that and then from the balcony, you watch them turn into ice statues. Really? I can't remember which, it was definitely a previous person who was... Wasn't that sick? Wasn't that sick? It would make sense that it was... I don't think it was, but do you remember that? No, I don't.

Starting point is 00:46:51 Yeah, that would pour water on them and then watch them from in an interior courtyard walk around. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts. Multitask right now, quote today at progressive.com. Progressive casualty

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Starting point is 00:48:28 including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. And then, till I turn into a statue. Oh, William Shakespeare. Yes. Classic prick. I wanted to say the Harry Potter writer, but I couldn't give her name. I reckon that would have been funny. That would have

Starting point is 00:48:47 imagined I said that. That would have been funny. That is funny. Yeah, thank you. But I don't imagine that like any open statues, surely you'd just be in the fetal position. It's not going to be a very interesting statue. Nobody's going to be like just holding... It's like a triangle pose. How pose while they freeze to death, you know? I can use the sword on a horse. Nobody's thinking of that. I'm sure you're dying.

Starting point is 00:49:10 Like if you wanted to, you'd start flipping them in the bird and hope you'd be like flipping them off. I'd want to. Yeah, I'd be doing sharkas I reckon. So I look sick. I'll be mom and Rippin' a Bomb. Yeah, fuck it. For 20.

Starting point is 00:49:31 Unconvincingly, like I just did. Ripping a bomb. Yeah. Stan's school kids. She covered them in honey like we said before this one said before watching bugs faced on her Exposed on their exposed skin bugs Like a locus Chris a bit of lady bugs. She said lady bugs of lady beetles. Interesting. Huh two types of paper

Starting point is 00:49:58 Lady bird lady bird. Yeah, is that an option? I go no lady bug or lady beetle? That's not one is it lady bird or lady bug Yeah, is that an option I go no lady bug or lady beetle that's not one That's lady bird or lady bug. Yeah, that's a both I say lady beetle What are those ones that kind of roll up? They're like really weird looking at all what do we call them? Slater bugs. Yes Because I Very tired when I got home last night never heard slider bugs. Oh, yeah, and I was very tired when I got home last night. I never heard Slaterbugs. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:27 And I was just lying. I took my shoes off and I lay on my back on my bed just with my knees up and my chest and a little bowl. Bit of a knees up. And I couldn't remember the bug that I was trying to be. And I was like, you know, the ones that are like, they got to roll up a bit. Slaterbugs or you think you have a...

Starting point is 00:50:46 Millipede. No, Slaterbug. Slaterbug is what I was thinking of. Not a millipede. Millipede's a horrible. Anyway, I was tired. It was a fun story there, wasn't it? Slaterbug?

Starting point is 00:50:56 Yeah. And they're like... Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking of! And they're living like wood. Yeah, they're actually called, according to the search, woodlass. Oh, they got you, they do live in them. Or terrestrial, usopod, crustacean. That's what I was imitating when I got home last night.

Starting point is 00:51:13 I couldn't believe you couldn't remember terrestrial crustacean. I've never seen them before. People also search for millipede. There you go. Earwigs, let's not have heard of that. Bugs that roll up anyway. Do you think the professor would be more afraid of ladybugs than other bugs?

Starting point is 00:51:35 I just said, Buggles the Mind! She also, I haven't even finished these dot points yet, she also sewed their lips together. Oh, what happened to that? Which I only, that's the only time I saw that reference. And this one was reference a little bit, bit chunks of flesh off their breasts and faces. Wow. Oh, the face, that's fucked.

Starting point is 00:51:57 Yeah, it's because you don't have breasts, so you can't picture that. Yeah, that's not enough. Get on the bench press, Dave. Yeah. So it's over there. I'm trying. I'm trying. it's over. I'm trying. I'm trying. Trying.

Starting point is 00:52:10 The article went on to say that in addition, witnesses said, bar three, liked using scissors to torture victims. She's the instrument to cut off their hands, noses and genitals. One of her favorite pastimes, witnesses said, was using scissors to slice open the skin between her victims' fingers. I'm so sorry. I was so sorry. I didn't want to read that book that much. I love pastime. Yeah. I mean, that's what you're going to get from all that's interesting.com. All that's fucked up. All right. Okay. So they've investigated it. Yes. So this has all come out of the investigations.

Starting point is 00:52:46 So I'll talk a little bit more about those and then I'll tell you what happened from there. At the time of those investigations, some accused of cannibalism, obviously, with the eating of flesh. While others claim to have seen her have sex with the devil himself. Okay, well I don't know. Finally something I believe here. So you know what I'm saying? What it feels like?

Starting point is 00:53:10 They're like, it's almost like they're just, they're going, what's evil things? Let's just list off, fuck out of stuff. Probably the most. And also why are you watching people have sex, you weirdo? Yeah. Like, avert your eyes. Yeah. That's rude.

Starting point is 00:53:25 Give beer to the pub some privacy. That's rude. Yeah. How rude. Sorry, rude. So rude. Satan on the streets, satin' in the sheets. Ha ha ha.

Starting point is 00:53:41 You see that pause there? That was made processing that. Making sure it made nearly any sense. Didn't, but I still went with it. But probably the most famous or infamous accusation and the one that gave her the nickname, the Blood Countess was that she bathed in the blood of her young victims in an attempt to maintain a youthful appearance.

Starting point is 00:54:00 Did it work? Was she a babe? You know, beauty standards change. That's a no. Yeah, I'll go classic hugger defense. Big old, I'll go. Everyone has, you know, beauty is definitely... Wow, she's real ugly.

Starting point is 00:54:15 Wow, I mean, you got... He's digging deep. There's a paragraph about this. She's faggly. Ooh. She's yuck. Yeah, she's yuckly. She's yuckly.

Starting point is 00:54:23 She's yuckly. Beauty's in the eye of the beholder. Um, She's a yugly. She's a yugly. She's a yugly. She's a yugly. Beaties in the yard, the beholder. Um, there's no photos of her. Yeah. Because it was a 5800. There are statues and drawings and stuff. I've got to say.

Starting point is 00:54:34 She looks like, she looks like classic, olden days royalty woman. No oil paintings. She is no oil painting. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, yeah. After hearing the accusations, there's a ultimately charged bathroom with the deaths of 80 girls.

Starting point is 00:54:54 One witness did claim that there were 650 victims in total. And she claimed that saying that she kept a record, and there was a book of it, that Barthree kept a record and there was some sort of weird death diary where she'd write all the names down in it. She's got a sex diary and a death diary. But the... She's Thara.

Starting point is 00:55:12 Wow, me the diary was ever found. So it's not really believed to be true people. 80 is still ridiculous. But also, I know that their peasants, but they still have families, like there's still people, their parents don't know how to say gone or... I think they do, but they'll...

Starting point is 00:55:30 They can't do anything about it. They're also connected, she's connected to the church. Yeah. She's powerful with them. She goes, give them a normal burial. Say it's, you know, a lot of, and people did die young, so it's certainly poorer people.

Starting point is 00:55:43 Oh, like everyone, like you said before, expected age. Yeah. Death age for the younger. He used to be like, sorry, she got sick. Yeah, illness has went around and want people out, but it's like, a lot of people getting sick after they've come to work for you for a brief amount of time. Oh. It really, see, it always has paid to be wealthy.

Starting point is 00:56:07 You can just get away with stuff. God, how way to be wealthy. So you can get away with it. Do you reckon one day I'll be wealthy? Not really. No, thanks, Matt. It's usually keep me grounded. And also from killing.

Starting point is 00:56:20 That's a good thing. No, I don't want to kill it. I just want to be. Why don't you want to get away with it? I don't know. It's usually charismatic people that are wealthy. Sorry. Oh, I want to do what does she want to get away with? I don't know, like, she's the charismatic people that are wealthy. Sorry. Oh, get it. Also, normally the charismatic ones that seem to be the murder of time, because they get away with it. Yeah. Yeah. Again, great that I'm not charismatic. Oh, dogs, dogs, the bull and a lot of other people. That wouldn't be my method. Oh,

Starting point is 00:56:43 okay. He thought this through. A lot more hands on, more personal. Yeah. Hmm. Lee. Bowen arrow. For a distance. Yeah. We've got hands on with the bow and the arrow. That's my hands. I like loud noises, guns are too loud. Bang, no!

Starting point is 00:57:07 He's a silencer, damn it. A what? Yeah, it was about an arrow, it's just... A boi-loom. That's my bone up. It tends to run. I get really erect. Boi-o-yo-yo-ing, that's the zip going there.

Starting point is 00:57:24 The bone is coming up. Oh yeah, correct boy oh, I think that's the zip going there The bone and coming up Now time it improves my accuracy I'm rock hard I hit the bulls over time. It always points to you north I'll say test the wind compass dick This way boys I'll lead us to safety. Safety is always... Turning around like there go. The arm is behind her, it's like...

Starting point is 00:57:51 Chained direction. Missing some fun face work from Dave. That's why we say you've always should be here in this studio with us. And we've got people every week and they don't turn out. What's with you people? What's with you? You dogs. If you're in Melbourne, there's live shows always.

Starting point is 00:58:15 Yeah, good. Check out our website, dogoon.com. Do go on.com. Fuck. What did I say? Do go on.com. Do go on.com slash what's the live shows? Your mom's butt.

Starting point is 00:58:26 That's it. I think it's live dash shows. Dave, say it correctly. And could you also update the URL so that that works? Your mom's butt. Oh yeah, can you do that? I think I can. Do you have that power?

Starting point is 00:58:37 Yeah, you have to allow that. I can do that. And I just want to be a picture of me going. Do go on.com slash your mom's butt. Alright, I'll try and get that happening. I'll speak to our web master, our web wizard. You're talking about me, someone said, but isn't it?

Starting point is 00:58:53 Yeah. Well, I know, go. It's me. Ask me those famous three words. What are those famous three words? Dave said you're the thing. Oh, do go on. I don't know if they should ask me what they are. Yeah, me too. same. Oh, do go on. I'm going to say the same.

Starting point is 00:59:05 They should like ask me what they are. Yeah, me too. I thought I was like, where's he's going? It's not a question. I should have said command to me. Do go on. Sorry, yep. I don't understand.

Starting point is 00:59:12 So that's on you. What are her famous three words? That's on you. I mean, they're both famous, everything about what I say. Both very clever people on the podcast didn't pick up on what you were saying. But you did eventually. So both ugly clever people.

Starting point is 00:59:26 That's right. Say those famous three words. Well, what are you talking about? What are you talking about? Do go on. So, so there were arrests, right? Yeah. These servants were charged as her accomplices and put on trial in 1611.

Starting point is 00:59:41 They were convicted of the crimes and punished in similarly brutal ways to what they were accused of. So, do you reckon though, because they were her servants, so they kind of were forced into it? Yeah, I feel like. So it's not, I mean, what's the likelihood that she happened to hire two servants

Starting point is 00:59:58 who were also sick of? Yeah, we're riding it four, four servants. Four. And also like, oh, same one happens to the servants who, you know, for no real reason. Yeah. Yeah, but not same. And also it just those work conditions, there's bodies everywhere.

Starting point is 01:00:13 Ugh, no thank you. But you're saying the funn- the funn- the funn- punishment fit the crime. Not fun. Funn- punishment. I don't think it was a funn-ishment. Yeah, but the punishment fit the crime. So you do this to someone so we're doing it. Well, it's not, yeah, and Simo, I guess it was just,

Starting point is 01:00:29 and I guess back in those days, punishments were more fucked up anyway. One was beheaded. And then the others, I read it, slightly varying things on this, had their hands chopped off or had their fingers pulled off with pliers or something like that. And then, and then we're burnt at the stake. Maybe as, maybe as witches, which I didn't see

Starting point is 01:00:56 that wasn't across everything. So I was like, where? Yeah, I guess. If it wasn't that time where things were just, wish, if you know your a which because I think you might be then this is probably one thing where people were like yeah this feels a bit witchy. Yeah sure sure finally something that actually seemed witchy. Yeah that's full on. Barthrey was never tried though. What? Instead she was confined to her chambers at Castle Cash Teach and not allowed to leave. She was basically bricked in, I think. And she remained there until she died on August 21, 1614 at the age of 54.

Starting point is 01:01:35 There was another five years. Yeah, I think she was in there four or five years. Bricked in. Yeah. Apparently she'd get her food through a little hole a guy put a tray through through and then on the night that she died, she was, she said, oh, I've got a weird feeling in my arms. I think she said to some of us, I've got a bit of a weird feeling and a guard goes, like, you'll be right.

Starting point is 01:01:55 Cover nap and she just never woke up. Oh, she got away with it. She got to die kind of peacefully. Yeah, in her home prison. I guess she was really rich Yeah, and then the reasons for this are different things. It sounds like the I think the king wanted to kill her as well Like punish her to my death, but people like this will be bad for the nobility in general. It you know that it's all Sounded like things were all on a nice it, you know, that it's all sounded like things were all on a

Starting point is 01:02:26 nice edge, you know, that's the difference. Right. Your family, my family. And then the Protestants and Catholics and also there were just a lot of different families and so for whatever reason they thought this would be the, her, she's sort of powerful family there. The king also obviously was owed them a lot of money and that was waived that debt in this deal. So a lot of moving pieces.

Starting point is 01:02:52 I'll read it out rather than just spluttering what I just did then. There's still plenty of conjecture about how true the accusations are and modern historians debate over a wide spectrum of what the reality was. From one end, she killed 650 young women and girls and bathed in their blood and attempt to stay young at one end, and at the other end, some argued

Starting point is 01:03:15 that it was all a stitch up to take a wealth of power and she didn't even do any of it. And then there's a lot of people in the middle of that. Right, yeah. I'm gonna fall somewhere in the middle. I don't, I think 650 is too high, realistically. It's a lot. That's a lot.

Starting point is 01:03:32 Yeah. That's like, you know, too many. How do you get that many people, you know? Yeah, and just, I mean, she's doing it across like majority of that one castle, but she also had other castles around. So apparently, you know, she was doing it across like majority of that one castle, but she also had other castles around. So apparently, you know, she was doing it in different places.

Starting point is 01:03:47 But I'm definitely not in the camp of, it was a stitch up. Right. She's in a stitch up. Too much. It's a big stitch up, I guess. Yes. Do you think the Guinness World Book of World Records stitch people up?

Starting point is 01:04:00 I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I'm never a cousin of such a thing. Exactly. They are bastions. Journalism. I don't call them that. Sorry about that. You bastion. This is from Britannica.

Starting point is 01:04:12 Well, documents from Bathory's trial support the accusations made against her. Modern scholarship has questioned the veracity of the allegations. Bathory was a powerful woman, made more so by her control of count and a dad's dees holdings after his death. And the fact that a large debt owed by a Mathias to Barthry was cancelled in her family in exchange for permitting them to manage her captivity suggests that her, that the acts attributed to her were politically motivated slander that allowed relatives to appropriate her lands.

Starting point is 01:04:44 So that's pretty bold from Britannica. Yeah, wow, they're really good. They're going closer to the stitch up end of things. Wow. Well, they're reporting that modern scholarship question. Imagine if it was, imagine if it was just a stitch up. It would be ridiculous. Ridiculous.

Starting point is 01:05:04 Whoa. Like that's a lot of people have to make up a lot of things. Yeah. Like, you know, 300 people that have been questioned, or at least that's been falsified or whatever. So these debts that the King had to bar three were perhaps motivators for the accusations. On top of this, there are historians who believe

Starting point is 01:05:22 that the many witnesses who provided in craminating effort evidence did so under duress or while being tortured themselves. Right. Say she spread honey on you, or I'll put more honey on you. Yeah. So, and I think we now know that if that is, people don't give good information if they're being tortured, they'll say what the torture wants to hear, rather than... Yeah, I suppose it could have been like, I've written out what I wanted to say to sign here. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:51 Or, look at that bucket of cold water. There's a lot of honey in that bucket. Of course. A lot of cold honey in that bucket of... We're gonna go put you out there with those ICA ants. I don't have a little mash up here, just trying out too, I can have it. We're gonna go put you out there with those icy ants. I did a little mashup here, just trying out so I can have a seriously dead ant.

Starting point is 01:06:10 Dead ants and then like a stick to say what happened. A sticky person walking around the court, you're like, this is weird. Frozen honey, like in a bucket, they're just like hitting some end on one sludge and just falls off. And then it's like, ow, my thigh. All right, I think you've lent your lesson. I'll sign here.

Starting point is 01:06:26 Okay, but I just want to get away from you. Potentially some historians say this is the true story of Elizabeth Barthry, and this is from all that's interesting. She owns strategically important land that increased her family's already vast wealth and has an intelligent power for woman who ruled without a man by her side She owns strategically important land that increased her family's already vast wealth and as an intelligent powerful woman who ruled without a man by her side and as a member of a family whose wealth intimidated the king, his court went on a mission to discredit and ruin her.

Starting point is 01:06:56 As the feminists of this podcast, I'd like to say, all right, again, I have no idea. They conclude their article saying, the best case scenario is the Bathory Abuse to Servants, but came nowhere near the level of violence alleged at a trial. Worst case, she was a blood-sucking demon sent from hell to murder virgins. Both make for a good story, even if only one of them is actually true. They're saying the first one doesn't make a good story. A woman that kind of treated her, or her servants badly.

Starting point is 01:07:28 That's not a good story. Well, it is if she had the torture chamber, but just used it to like, slap him about a piece. It sounds like, well, I mean, she's saying abuse, I think they were saying it was pretty bad, but not the worst, but so they're saying at the best case, she did.

Starting point is 01:07:43 It was awful. So we can say she's not categorically, she's a bad person, it's how bad. Yes, that is probably true. If you go back to our professor mate that we're talking about before, one of his early quotes is, he just, he was a lot of soundbots. So I reckon the Discovery Channel over who ever put that episode together would have been like, love, it sounded like it was in the room just saying things he could remember.

Starting point is 01:08:10 You know, like you guys, power corrupts, an absolute power corrupts, absolutely. And she had absolute power. So inside of, and therefore, the how old was absolute yeah, we get it Yeah, we get it to give it a stop about five minutes ago So yeah, whatever the truth the legend lives on and that's the end of the report. She is still saying is Still alive And and she hadn't been bricked up or I think she would still be alive because she'd still be drinking the blood of her. Which is we all know one of the scientists discovered the blood of virgins is the life force that keeps us going.

Starting point is 01:08:51 Yeah. She's gone on to inspire so many different kinds of art music. There's band named after her. Paintings books. There are paintings. There's plenty of paintings that have been inspired by. I don't know if they were painted at the time It possibly could have been on another video. I watched there was a guy a baby seething where a guy went to her hometown And to the museum and then the portrait of her is out the back-and-storage So he went it like they were filming out the back of some reasons out the back-and-storage What's another girl like a vlogger?

Starting point is 01:09:24 He went to the castle and he did a little tour of the car. There's like a real ocarazi guy who does like ghost vlogs. Love it. And he's like, he was a real character. And he, he sure, he was in the town. He goes, he's like, I love it. He's like, imagine, imagine a town who's so proud of this serial killer that they, there's like statues of it. It's like imagine, imagine a town who's so proud of this serial killer that

Starting point is 01:09:47 they, there's like statues, look at this, look at those eyes, look at those eyes. They like zoomed in on his handy cam on the earth base of this wooden statue. It's like, yeah, I mean, any wooden statue is going to have some pretty odd looking eyes, look at those eyes, sinister. Look at that wooden look on her face. Bit strange, bit sus. And yeah, he went around the, yeah, the castle, a lot of it's still there. So maybe one day we'll be there.

Starting point is 01:10:12 In Hungary. Well, that one is in Slovakia. So this is in Slovakia. What a day of Slovakia. Wow, we've got to go there, put it on the tour baby. On the list, we're going to get a world map going with some pins. Oh, take him out of our peasants. Put them into the board.

Starting point is 01:10:27 Yes, sure. Let's do it. I guess if we're going to take them out of our peasants, you can put them in an airport. Why can't we just buy more pins? I don't want to take them out of the peasants. They haven't earned it yet. Good point. That is a good point.

Starting point is 01:10:38 Like pins have. Good point. So that was suggested by Sandy Tire, Jacob, Chris Waters, and Cinderella, Chenabite. Thank you to those stickers. Yeah, thank you. Sick. The stickers on Patreon who thought that that would be the best serial killer report.

Starting point is 01:10:54 That was a great report. Thanks Matt. Did you have a bad hair? Well done, Mattie. The only thing I think I know about hair is the blood thing because I remember going to one of those sort of Madame de Sores type things, but it's not Madame de Sores, it's like more of like a fucked up one, like a dungeon of London or Edinburgh or something and there was like a lady and she's pictured in a bath of blood.

Starting point is 01:11:15 Right. And I reckon that must have been her. I wasn't Queen Elizabeth II. second. Philip, the blood's going cold. Fits me more hot blood. Now is time for the segment I like to call because that's what its name is. And a listener has made a jingle for us. I'll put it in here. Fad quote, a fad quote, a fad quote, a question. Fad quote, a fad quote, a fad quote, a question. Hey, what a jingle. What?

Starting point is 01:11:57 We should also say, thank you to that listener. I'll bring up their name now because the great jingle, a lot of effort went into it. Yeah, that is funny that I was just going to put it in without the name, but I'd forgotten about doing it till just then. Now the pressure's on for me to figure out how to download it, because I've tried a couple of times, and I think I've just got a sign up to it. Perry Ritter, thank you so much Perry, send it in. You don't need a download, it might he emailed it to us.

Starting point is 01:12:25 Yes, got an MP3 of it, Perry Ritter. Hey Dave, Matt and Jess, per Matt's request, I have attached my jingle for that quote or question. Cheers friends, Perry, for it. Thank you Perry. Thanks for making the internet easier for me. You brought the internet to me. You're absolutely full.

Starting point is 01:12:42 So this week's Fact Quotal Questioner is second timer, Kevin Ulysses, Pacrad. I love that name so much. I don't know, just a combination. His title used to be, I think it was the deputy vice president of Cannelloni production, but he's changed it now to sketchy pup fender. Oh, sold a pup. Exactly.

Starting point is 01:13:08 I get the joke, Evan. Ha ha. And he's given us a quote this time. A little message he says, Hey guys, Love what you did with my first fact, even though it had various mistakes that I'm so sorry about.

Starting point is 01:13:21 And since I sold Matapup last time, I would like to change my title for this. Um, sorry Dave, no more sweet cannelloni. Disappointing. Where do the cannelloni thing and use start from, David? I don't remember that origin. That's right.

Starting point is 01:13:37 It's just me liking cannelloni. Oh, that makes sense. Soft, easy to eat, but very tasty on the tongue. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh everything I've done in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent. And that comes from the great George Costanza. He said also that was my cousin's yearbook quote, who is going to Notre Dame next year. Oh. I said that right.

Starting point is 01:14:16 Notre Dame. Mm-hmm. Notre Dame, baby. Notre Dame. Okay, you're saying it wrong. Notre Dame. I'm saying it with the wrong accent, I think. Notre Dame. Because you'd say, like we'd. Notre Dame. I'm saying it with the wrong accent, I think.

Starting point is 01:14:25 Notre Dame. Cause you'd say, like we'd say Notre Dame, right? Yes. They say Notre Dame. Yeah. Love it. They do it way better. So that is thanks so much. Thanks Kevin. Kevin, and that, if you want to do a fact, quote, or question, you can spot us on the Patreon,

Starting point is 01:14:42 which is patreon.com slash. Dig on one pod, which is patreon.com slash diggerone pod. That's right, you can get all sorts of rewards while keeping this little show pony ticking along. A couple of bonus episodes per month we're doing at the moment, two bonus episodes. There's no one else except the petrons here, so get on board, we'd love to have you support and it's a good old time on that. Great community of people we're building on the Patreon.

Starting point is 01:15:03 Last one we did was about the Mandela effect. Mandela effect, that's right. When people misremembering possibly or reality changing, find out if you listen to that episode, a lot of fun that one. Dave Shredds, a new portal hole in that theory. What's that fish? Are you talking about Dave Tred's, a new pool.

Starting point is 01:15:31 You ripped it and you asked whole, but because I was on part of that theory was that it portals to different dimensions and different realities. You probably forget, but I went deep into the man-de-rofect. I was skeptic. Yeah, I think it turned out normally at least one of us is on board. It's on board, but that one. Not so much. It was fun though.

Starting point is 01:15:51 Listen to us tear that you asked whole. Normally, because what we're going to do now is what we do at the end of a episode where we thank some patrons. Yes, for the generous support. For their support. And normally we we try to try and make it themed to the episode. Yeah. But this episode was fucked. All right. So if they were a peasant, how would we talk to them? Yeah, see, I don't want to do

Starting point is 01:16:15 so how do we, what do we do here? I was thinking name their castle. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What was her great nickname? It's pretty F, wasn't it? The Blood Canters. The Blood Canters. The Blood Canters. They're the Count... They're a Count or Countess. They're not a blood bit of something. Yeah. A different body part. They've got to be a body part. A body part of blood. No. A different type of bodily fluid. Oh no., there are so many. There's only so many. Yeah, somebody's going to be the camp cumula. Well, I reckon the first person would be pretty into that. Or yeah, okay. No, or just fluids. We could do fluids or just or anything. Yeah,

Starting point is 01:17:01 can't ask anything. Yes. This is first thing that- This is first thing that- I wanna hear the first thing that Dave comes to your mind, Dave, when I say, I'd love to thank Brandon Edwards from Jefferson, Indiana. The count of Gatorade. Ooh. Yeah, what flavor? Blood. Blood orange? Blood orange. Oh. Blood orange, Gatorade. Oh, that's some good stuff, Brad.

Starting point is 01:17:24 Ooh. Count Gatorade. Indiana, that's some good stuff, Brad. Oh, count gatorade. Indiana, you know, that is the state that... Of hydration. Yeah, yeah. The hydration state. Go Hydros. Electrolytes.

Starting point is 01:17:35 It also contains a little old town that we like to call Gary Indiana. Yes, which we're going to be getting to next year for goes to plan. That is right. Thanks to our patreon supporters I was just thinking whether they want us to go to Gary or not I've already had a quite a few people say they'll drive to Gary. Yes Also had a lot of people say please don't go to Gary. Yeah, but I think they're starting to come around They know where you're definitely going. Where you're going? So you've got to just deal with it.

Starting point is 01:18:07 I mean, I'm looking at whether Brandon could get there. It's about an 89 hour walk. Ah, easy peasy. But if you drive there, Brandon. I'm also on Bing Maps and it is hard to use. I'm already able so much. Four hours, four hour drive from Jeffersonville to Gary Indiana. Easy. That's an easy drive

Starting point is 01:18:29 Four hours. He's Indiana's big ish. Yeah. Well, I think he's right down the bottom on the border of Kentucky Oh Bourbon country, which is very very cool fried chicken And also, I was gonna say, Gatorade country, but that's definitely Florida. Anyway, Brandon Edwards, thanks so much. Thanks so much to the count of Gatorade. Blood orange. Puts back in when the sweat takes out. That was one of those brands.

Starting point is 01:18:56 I'd also love to thank, from Colorado Springs in Colorado. Oh, wow, what a combo. John Stewart, Uncle John spells it wrong, but all good, all the same. Count of milk. The count of milk. One milk, please. Yeah. And done. He's good. Milk. So John is just an hour drive from Denver, which contains Denver Airport, which is where Lucifer lives. That's right. It's on the long list, I should say, of American places to visit. We've got a long, long dream list. We're going to whittle that down

Starting point is 01:19:36 based on basically where people are downloading from. So if you're in the U.S. and you're thinking, I'd love them to come to where I am, get all your friends, all your family members onto the show, because the more people that come to the show, obviously, the more viable it is for us to come to all 50 states. Fuck, that'd be so good. Even Hawaii?

Starting point is 01:19:55 Oh, even Hawaii. On the way home, just for a bit of Aaron Ar. Aaron Ar and Alaska. Yeah, a bit of Hang 10. Nally Thank you to the count of milk a low-ha To everyone I would like to thank if I could thank some beautiful beautiful people please all the way

Starting point is 01:20:19 From Tom's river Oh, that's my river Tom and it's in your joy. Yeah, it is in your joy. Tom's river. I love the sound of that. I love. Oh, I'm looking at where that is. That is that is a beautiful ride on the east coast there. Why do you just thank the person first? Look look at what the tan just to the north is called. Brick. I'm a brick, new joystick. And really close to at Asprey Park, which is where I'm pretty sure the man Bruce Springsteen's

Starting point is 01:20:54 from. There's someone at a house having a hot palpitation. I'm not the only one who's thinking, is it me? Is it me? Hey, I'm laying bricks here. Shitting bricks here, I should've said. Anyway, from Tom Fif and you, Joy'sy,

Starting point is 01:21:06 maybe I've been putting it off because I don't wanna butcher your name here, but I'm gonna have a crack. Kayla, Hot Kuwits. All right, and that's pretty good. Yeah. Kayla, Hot Kuwits, which has a W, a C, and a Z. A C. Oh, what wack wacky you alphabet is this? Honestly, he is ridiculous.

Starting point is 01:21:28 Well, let me ask you. When you come from Warnakie and he's like, oh, it's got some weird letters in there. Fecal, absolutely, Fecal, but when people butcher my name, I take him to task. Oh yeah. What's the weirdest pronunciation you've had? Warnik.

Starting point is 01:21:43 Yeah, I've had Warnik a few times, which I really like. Yeah, Warneak's nuts, but it probably should be Warnekey, right? Vanakay. Vanakay. I get a, uh, David Vanakay. Oh, yeah, David Vanakay. I get Warneki. Ooh, I like that.

Starting point is 01:22:00 Warneki. Maybe Michael Lee, he's calls me Warneki. Um, does he know? No. He's wrong or? he calls me Warnicky. And does he know? No. He's wrong or? Initially he didn't know. Then discovered he was saying it wrong. And then he was like, I'm just going to double down.

Starting point is 01:22:10 It's fun. Yeah, great. How often is he saying his sentence? This is M saying it or something. And then when I see him, he'll say, hey, Warnicky. Work with him sometimes. So the project is saying Warnicky. He calls me.

Starting point is 01:22:21 Even in modern days, it feels like you must have known him for 10 years. No. Maybe five. to be a long time. It calls me, Dad. I've even been in modern days. It feels like you must have known him for 10 years. No. Maybe five. That's a long time. Save your Michael Ladys. Anyway, Kayla Hockowitz. Thank you, Kayla.

Starting point is 01:22:33 She's the Countess of, Matt. Oh, okay. Liquid. All right, I'm not going to knock him out. Kayla Hockowitz is the Countess of. Sea Salt. Water. Is that normal water with cracked sea salt in it?

Starting point is 01:22:45 Yes. Yes, it is. It is good for opening your pores in your gourd. Sea salt water on Tom's river? I, since I had my wisdom teeth out, I have to rinse my mouth out with salt water after every time I eat. Exactly. Are you still doing that?

Starting point is 01:23:03 Yes. So you get it. It must be the longest recovery of all time. No, I have Are you still doing that? Yes. So you get it. Yes. So it must be the longest recovery of all time. No, I'd have been gaping holes in my mouth. Amazing. I don't know how this is so surprising to you. I had major surgery. I'd say you're at work the next day.

Starting point is 01:23:16 Yeah, but I'm like the Wolverine. I was very brave. You're very, so I'm so sorry. You are very brave. And also, I imagine that salt water tastes terrible. I kind of like it. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh yeah I imagine that salt water tastes terrible. I kind of like it. Oh, really? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:23:27 Oh yeah, it's one of those things. I've always liked it. I was like salt. Dark chocolate with salt. What do you stand on that? I don't like dark chocolate. Chocolate with salt. We're not, yeah, big pan.

Starting point is 01:23:36 No, when I was in, when I was traveling around Europe years and years ago, there was a lint chocolate that was milk chocolate with sea salt. Here you can get dark chocolate. I fuck, I just remembered it then, I'm finding it when we were there. For a little while, I think cabbri's was doing one with like salty crackers and chocolate like the crackers atop. Haven't they just done one with sea seas? Oh, maybe. That doesn't sound any good. Apparently. Yeah, there's chocolate with conchets. Anyway, I don't know those ones.

Starting point is 01:24:05 Yeah, they're really good. I love salt and chocolate. Yum. Salt and caramel. Get it at me. Kaila, the Countess. Have salt. Seasalt water.

Starting point is 01:24:14 Should I maybe just see water? I could just go salt water. Now, sea salt water. Sea salt water. You can charge a premium. Yeah. Really. It's got a certain, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:24:23 I can't quite think of a word for it. But yeah, it's got a certain something I don't know, I can't quite think of a word for it, but yeah, it's got a certain something anyway. Wait, hang on. Let's say a certain... Shenasequat. Oh. If that helps you. The countess is Shenasequat.

Starting point is 01:24:35 We. Oh, bon. Bon. I would also like to thank from the same beautiful country, from Gastonia, North Carolina. We've already got a great state. I wish I knew one fact about it. I don't know anything about North Carolina. I can't think of anything. Okay, I've got a few. Let me think which one should I go with. Okay, well Michael Jordan's actually from there. That's where he went to college bus well. One of the goats. All right. It's one of the, one of the top 10 goats.

Starting point is 01:25:06 And he up there with Wiltle Stillt. And he, yeah, he actually went to college there. And he wore his college shorts under his NBA red Chicago Bulls shorts for his whole career. So, underneath your two pairs of shorts. Yeah, two pairs. Oh, that is wacky. That is absolutely amazing. I think I know what I'm gonna to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to say that I'm going to But we even more love. That's great. Oh, tray. We even more love. We love our bread.

Starting point is 01:25:46 We love our butter, but even more we love. Madeline. Oh, I'd like to thank from Gastonion, North Carolina, James Carl Williams III. Oh, I love a thing. Or the count of Michael's secret stuff. Oh. Carl, I really thought you were going to say bowl sweat. I think it's one of the same.

Starting point is 01:26:09 Imagine folks funny. It's gone. This will get the other cartoon characters going. The goats ball sweat. One of the goats don't want to get any LeB balls myself. He's one of the top 20 goats. James Carr Williams III, thank you so much for your... What a name, James Carr Williams III. I would like to thank someone also, a little bit close at home this time. Oh, really? Well, a little bit, still in Western Australia.

Starting point is 01:26:37 Still many thousands of kilomitone for us. So far away. In Western Australia, born and raised on a plane. On a mine. On a mine. I was trying to make it play mine. Where I spent most of my evenings. Chillin' out, Maxing, digging up, iron ore, shootin' up, c**ing bulls**t.

Starting point is 01:27:02 I've been on a such a good streak. And now, c***** Pfft Pots. Oh, Potsy. Potsy. That's a smart like that. Jesus, from James Karl Williams III, which I'm like, can we ever get close to that? But I reckon Pots is great. Pots is a sweet, man. I think that's cute as Dave Kantoff. oil. Oh, oil's in oils. Very. When Chris Pots is around. Very wealthy. Yeah, that's great.

Starting point is 01:27:50 Well, if you put the peck in. Yeah, that's great. If you put the peck in. Yeah, that's great. If you put the peck in. Yeah, that's great. If you put the peck in. Yeah, that's great.

Starting point is 01:27:58 If you put the peck in. Yeah, that's great. If you put the peck in. Yeah, that's great. If you put the peck in. Yeah, that's great. If you put the peck in. Yeah, that's great. If you put the peck in. Yeah, that's great. If you put the peck in. Yeah, that's great. You mean like, um, top-wise girlfriend? He's, he's always the one that they are.

Starting point is 01:28:08 No, she's a person. Oh, she's not just. She's a cartoon guy for this. That's a girl for it. She's got her own stuff going on. Okay. What's she on? The other voice show?

Starting point is 01:28:19 Probably is. She probably had a spin off. Why not? The only boy out of power. Very good. Thank you, Patsy. Patsy. And I'd also like to thank from Great Britain.

Starting point is 01:28:30 This is another good name. Robbie Lenny. Oh, a double E. Robbie Lenny. Robbie Lenny. Robbie Lenny. It's got a certain... Britham suit. Robbie Lenny. Robbie Lenny. The Count of Vinny. It's got a certain rhythm to it. Robil and Niggas.

Starting point is 01:28:46 Robil and Niggas. The Count of Vinigas. Where's he from? The Count of Vinigas. He's from the UK in Cumbria. Oh Cumbria. That's an old place, right? I like just old places.

Starting point is 01:29:01 Old places are old, really. And it's all relative, isn't it? Australia is a very new country, so anywhere else compared to us feels like they've got a lot of history. You know, like a building here that's 20 years old is heritage list. Yeah, that's true. Though our first people, first,

Starting point is 01:29:19 and just as people have the oldest culture, continues culture in the world, so fucking suck on that. Yeah. Suck on that. Lenny. Robby. Lenny. We can't be on it.

Starting point is 01:29:30 No, good on you. I know you don't think it's a competition. And I've got to say we've had very little to do. We can't really claim. I don't think we can claim a lot of. To be honest, I can only claim anything that's happened since 1990. I've been Robby. Lenny. I really hope to see you all the way from Cumbria.

Starting point is 01:29:46 Maybe one of our UK shows. That'd be cool. And to everyone that is coming out to those shows, they are all sold out now except for the one show in Birmingham. Oh, really? Cool. So. Oh my god, long.

Starting point is 01:29:59 So I could still get a ticket. I'll see if I'm free. You can get a ticket to your stand-up show possibly, Matt, in London? Oh, yeah. I should probably have mentioned that more. You can get a ticket to your standup show possibly, Matt, in London? Oh yeah, I should probably have mentioned that more. But I think that's all right. I think that's all right. It's going well.

Starting point is 01:30:10 You're close. If it isn't, it's close. Check it out if you wanna, though, Matt's stewatcomedy.com slash. It's a gigs of shows, but it's gigs. Gigs. I reckon you say gigs. Yeah, I reckon you say gigs.

Starting point is 01:30:21 Whenever you listen to it, even if you listen to it, it's in a year's time, maybe I'm coming back to your place. Hey, that could happen. Robbie Lenny! I want to be... I swear to God, I'm gonna be singing that in my sleep tonight.

Starting point is 01:30:31 Robbie Lenny! That's gonna be very annoying for your neighbours. Potsy! Potsy! Hey, potsy! Ah, potsy! And thanks to everyone that supports us on Patreon, means a lot to us one more time.

Starting point is 01:30:45 It's patreon.com slash do-go-on pod. If you would like us to have fun with your name. What do you mean, yeah? Have fun with his nicer, yeah. Yeah, I had fun with it. Robby, there hee! It's a weekly planet catchphrase. Yeah, I had fun with it.

Starting point is 01:30:59 That's my masculine personality. I had fun with it. That's when they didn't really like a movie. It's a real subculture, a lingo thing. You've really got a, That's when they didn't really like a movie. It's a real, it's a real subculture, lingo thing. You've really got a, it's an aeroplane flying over here. So it's a mic thing on it. I doubt it. Just looked at like it is like actually got a pie, like a dog. Like a dog. She is. A robot.

Starting point is 01:31:21 Raggy. Oh my god. I'm the scooby-doo of this group. Yeah, I'm definitely the shaggy. Oh, no, I'm the scrappy-do. Oh, I was gonna say definitely, but okay. Definitely. The name. No, smart. No, I'm Wilma.

Starting point is 01:31:39 Wilma. I'm Wilma. You can be scrappy. No, you're definitely scrappy. Yeah, now that you've put it out there, you're scrappy. Sox, you ruin the shot. Yeah, that's right. Tramp it. Oh, piss off. I'm Wilma. I need this. I solve the crimes. Oh, hang on. We haven't even considered me being Fred. Yeah, definitely not Fred. He's such a dream. But we just like Fred. Yes. Yes. Well, I'll just control that one. I think I said for any.

Starting point is 01:32:06 For any Prince New Year. New Year. Oh, dear. I'm gonna wrap this up. Please. I can do that. Well, it's just spinning out of control. I've got to get in contact anytime.

Starting point is 01:32:15 All the links are on our website, dogoonpod.com. We're on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. YouTube's happening. We got an email. It's dogoonpod.gmail.com. But, can I drop us online anytime? Yeah. We're closing our laptops here. It's do go on pot of GMO.com, but drop us a line any time. Yeah. We're closing our laptops here. It's all like that. No, I was just closing Dave's to annoy him and then Matt followed suit, which is cute. I don't have one anyway. But yeah, drop us a line. Suggest a topic. We always love to hear those and maybe you too will be the next contestant.

Starting point is 01:32:40 You too. You too. Oh, we really have to go. Thank you so much. Until next week. Oh, say thanks and goodbye. Waiters. Bye. I nearly forgot my catchphrase, and I nearly said, Laters. What a world.

Starting point is 01:32:53 What a lose. I'm very influential. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Uh, well, I'm going to cut it. Okay. And also these things I'm saying now.

Starting point is 01:33:18 Cutting this. This thing right now. I'll cut these words. What about this one? That's gone. Can you put this at the end of the episode? Certainly not. I will not let our Hi-Brow podcast be reduced to such

Starting point is 01:33:39 Pithel Pothel. Pithel Pothel. Pithil Puffil Pithil Puffil It feels funny on my tongue This episode is brought to you by Progressive Most of you aren't just listening right now You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising But what if you could be saving money by switching to progressive? Drivers who saved by switching saved nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now, quote today at progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates,

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Two In The Think Tank - 155 - The Blood Countess

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