Do Go On - 159 - Tarrare, The Man Who Ate Anything

Episode Date: November 7, 2018

In France in the 18th Century there was a man known as Tarrare… and boy could he eat. By the age of seventeen he could eat his own weight in beef. An insatiable hunger led him to become a travelling performer, eating everything from snakes to stones to golden forks. A very funny but sometimes gross story, probably don’t listen to this one whilst eating. Our website: dogoonpod.com Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPod Instagram: @DoGoOnPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/ Email us: [e-mail] Check out our other podcasts: Book Cheat: https://omny.fm/shows/bookcheatPrime Mates: https://omny.fm/shows/prime-matesREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://allthatsinteresting.com/tarrarehttps://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/UsefulNotes/Tarrarehttps://www.avclub.com/meet-the-man-who-couldn-t-stop-eating-1823720605http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20161014-the-man-who-couldnt-stop-eatinghttps://qz.com/916970/tarrare-the-bizarre-story-of-a-frenchman-who-ate-a-quarter-of-a-cow-daily-and-never-gained-weight/https://munchies.vice.com/en_us/article/qkx7bb/if-youre-eating-fresh-puppy-hearts-you-definitely-have-an-eating-disorderhttp://mentalfloss.com/article/66508/tarrare-greatest-glutton-all-time Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amana, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

And welcome to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnikey and I'm here with Matt and Jess. Where are you though? We are at a glass table in London. Hey, here we are. I'm looking out a window and it's London out there big time. Yep. Look at that guy there.

He's English as. Hello, Governor. There's a Bobby down there. Bobby, yeah, Bobby Fraser. We know all the locals. We've met him. We've been here for about 36 hours, would you say? Yeah, where we just went there to 22A...

Jump Street. Jump Street. Great film. Johnny Depp is a bad guy. And that's all I have to say on the matter. That's in the old man version. Yes. What are we talking about?

No, Shakespeare. 221B Baker Street is, But we went today. 21 B Baker Street. Yes, we went to see the Sherlock Holmes Museum. But we didn't go in. I mean, we looked at the museum. We looked at it from the outside and we went, ha.

My travelling is really rubbed off on you guys. And we went to the pub. Stop rubbing things on us. Just don't make it weird. But it is so cool to be here. It's a bit surreal. We're a little bit jet-lagged. we got cocky because we thought we'd beaten it because when we got here after 24 hours of

travel so far I cannot stress enough how far away Australia is from everything um except other parts of Australia yeah and even then even then a lot of parts of Australia yeah quite straight out from where we are so we travel for 24 hours we got detained at the airport sure it was for about 10 minutes but I'll still tell people I got detained at the airport and then we got here, Matt was in bed by 7. I was in bed by 7.30. We slept for 12 hours and then we felt great and we're like, we've done it. I felt like king of the world. I'm like, suck my dick, jet lag. Yeah, I was real cocky and then last night we crashed pretty hard and today I woke up at 5 a.m. and did not go back to sleep. So I'm going to crash soon. Have already crashed to be

I feel we should explain we were detained because they're a bit suspicious of three young beautiful comedians coming in. Not because of any. They did not mention the young and beautiful part, to be honest. We weren't smuggling drugs or anything. Oh, yeah. And they found that out the hard way. The hard way for us. They were like, do you have any drugs in you?

And we're like, I don't know. We played it coy. Yeah. Because we're cute like that. But anyway, we're here in London. It's wonderful to be here. We're excited. We love it.

It's so great. Matt did he stand-up show? We met a lot of do-go-on listeners there That was so, so-so-cool What a great comedy club It was awesome Yeah, so cool Very cool

I was very jealous that London has Such a cool Like comedy pub like that Yeah And the show was great We were very proud of you Hey, weren't we Dave? I was so proud

I was probably the proudest Yeah It was fun looking across it At my comedy mum and dad Over on the side there He kept giving us a few thumbs up Like, huh? This is going all right

I love that because I love attention. Even when it's the middle of your show, I liked getting a little bit of, a little bit of jest time. Well, I knew that and I didn't want any outbreaks of rage or anger in the middle of the show. I knew I just had to placate you every now then.

You're part of it. You're part of this. Hey? Hey. This is you. It's you. I'm acknowledging you exist. Validation.

Youngest child. You know what it's like. We know. Yeah. We know. So what are we going to do now? So we've got our first live show coming up when this comes out. the next night up in Edinburgh, which we're very, very excited for.

Is it tomorrow night? We've got a live show. Or when this comes out. Oh, okay, yes. So don't panic. Jet lag. Yeah, because we're catching the train up to Edinburgh tomorrow. We owe that we're getting off the train and getting straight on the stage.

What a way to do it. Yeah. That's very rock and roll. Train to stage. Yeah. Train to stage. I like. I like.

So that's very excited. But before we do that, we've got a, well, I guess a studio episode, not in studio, that we're going to record here, right here, right now. It is my turn to report on a topic that neither of you know what I've chosen. It's exciting. That's, yeah, as we do every week. Yeah, and the excitement never wears off. Every week, it is as exhilarating as the last.

Yes. I think from now and we should do it in a different capital city every week. Oh, that'd be great. Edinburgh next week. Yes. Paris the week after. Oh, okay. Do we ever get to go home?

Cairo. Okay, that's a no. We're not going home. No. We're traveling for the rest of our lives. It's going to be great. How are we going to fund this? There's so many questions here, Dave.

I'll work it out. Don't worry. Okay. Okay, so I've got a question to get us on a topic. This is our first post-block episode. Oh, yeah. I'm going to having a bit of a block downer. But let's not let that down the last.

Let's welcome to Blow Vemba. Blow, where we all do the drug, blow. Which is nasally inhaled cocaine. Thanks, grandpa. Cool, then. Yeah, I'm rad. It's also, I mean, blow can be a lot of things. It can also be...

A Kesha song? Cash song. It's also like... Johnny Depp film. Going like this. I'm picking that up on the mic. I'm liking it. Yeah, you're picking up when I'm blowing down.

One of your thousand noises is just blowing. Yeah, I'm the big bad wolf. That's why they call me. I'm a big bad wolf. Fuck. Yeah, I'm huffin and I'm up puffin. Dave, that's a question. All right.

My question for you is, a bit abstract, because I didn't think you get the topic, but it's fun, this question, I think. Is it a bit of fun? Bit fun. Okay. My question is, if you had to eat your body weight in one food,

what would it be? I immediately went to peanut butter, but that would be awful. Look, I don't want to guess you weight, but kilos of peanut butter. butter is not fun How dare you? Assue my way, kilos.

Well, I could have gone with tons. Stone? My dad's still... Anyway, yeah. Your dad measures things in stone. It's a lot of kilos of peanut butter, and it's a lot of... I mean, it's a lot of kilos of anything.

Well played. Water! Can it be water? Nah, it's got to be solid. Yogut. Okay. The knife and fork. Numb, num, num, num, num, num. I'd be past, for sure.

Because I do that most days. Pastor. Bread? It's not in one sitting, is it? Just like... Well, it really should be. Oh. It should be, but is it?

I'm going to say... I'm going to say... Is this a hot dog eating contest? No, but possibly a precursor to that. Before the hot dog eating contest, many hundreds of years earlier, there was... This is the topic,

the world's greatest eater. A man from France named Terraray. Terraray. And I'm going to give you the report on the history. history of this big eating life. Wow. Where'd you come up with this guy?

You've got a big farmer? I'm talking about big eating. Yeah, big farmers on the big farms. So before I tell you, this topic was suggested by many people have suggested this. Really? It's been suggested by Kevin Dillon from Ireland, Lauren from South Carolina, Zoe from Melbourne, Davis Pearson from Yakima, Nittish Bat from St. Louis, Alex from Cleveland, Danny Francis from the Netherlands.

and Lisa Honeyford from Hamilton. That's a worldwide topic. Very international. Is it St. Louis or St. Louis? St. Louis. That's embarrassing. I'm pretty sure. He's a human Atlas as well.

I think it's St. Louis. Damn it. I am Atlas. I wanted to correct you, but your confidence defeated me once again. Well, that's how you win arguments. You pretend to be more confident something than you really should be. Fake it till you make it.

Baby. All right. So this is... Terraray. We're actually recording it. a video of this and I just look straight down the barrel and that was me calling the camera baby. Don't ever call the camera baby.

Oh, look at it. Who can I call baby? No one. A baby maybe. It seems kind of weird to yell baby at a baby. Well, it's like a fresh baby that they haven't decided on a name yet. Fresh baby. It technically is called baby. I'm allowed to yell baby.

Or when somebody puts a baby in the corner. You're allowed to call that person baby. Yeah, I yell that when baby tries to turn around. Baby! Yeah. Back in the corner. Back in the corner. I'm the person who puts baby in the corner.

That's you. You would be that type, I reckon. I haven't seen that movie. Oh, you must. You simply must. Even I. Is that the one that dirt to dance? Had the time of my life.

Yes. And I never felt that way before. I've got to tell you, the dancing is so dirty. Oh, yeah. Are they bumping and grinding? Yeah, they're in mud. Oh, okay. Oh, you thought like, dead.

Yeah, I just thought they were fucking. No, absolutely not. They're dancing in mud. They're fucking in mud. Oh, that's great. Mud fucking. Mud craps. Love a mud fuck.

All right, here we go. Sorry. We've gone off early. I've already forgotten this person's name. Terraray. Terraray. It's quite a nice name, isn't it? Love it.

Tarari was born near Leon in France in 1772. It's a bit like Ferrari, but different. We don't know his real name, but he's just known to history as Terrar. It's not 100% clear why, but bomb-bom Torare was a popular French expression at the time used to describe powerful explosions. And it may have been applied to Terraray because of his prodigious fallatulence. Oh my God, Dave, you threatened a priest with an explosion. Yes, when I said, bomb-bom. He was like, oh my God, this is a terrorist attack.

You just whispered it to him on the way out of the church. Dave, you're on a blacklist somewhere. I'm just like, I just said to him, explosion. For people who don't know, quite a while back, Dave told a story when he was in France and he was trying to fake French on the way out. So he sold a priest a phrase that he thought sounded French because he panicked. I sat there for two or three hours in a service and like, I didn't understand a word. I didn't want him to know that I had not appreciated the service.

So he sounded for a long time too. Anyone else would have just nodded? Yeah, I would have gone for a nod. I wouldn't have sat for two or three hours to be honest. would have excused myself and if anybody gave me a weird look, I would have just clutched my bum. And said, bomb, bomb, bomb tarare. I have prodigious flatulence. And they would have said, thank you for you excusing yourself.

We. So, um, bomb bomb or tarare also could have just been his stage name because he was born to be a star. A star. A star. This kid is going to be a star. And boy, could that star eat. Oh. Eat. Which calls him to fart.

We don't know too much about his childhood, but we do know that he was always hungry. At the age of 17, he could eat a quarter of a cow on his own. Ew! And this was despite weighing a mere 100 pounds, which is 45 kilos and considerably less than me. And I struggled to eat a quarter of a chicken. That was your comedy weight, that wasn't a 45? No, 52 was my comedy weight. Your comedy weight.

He used to, yeah. When he's comedy fit, he's down there, 52. That's right. But since giving up comedy, stand up, it's, you know, I don't mind looking quite fat as I do now. You'll be hitting the saunas before you'd be comeback, though. That's right. Got to get down. They won't let me on stage. You know how they weigh you before you go on stage? Oh, I know. Yeah, it's brutal, but... So he's skinny, but can eat a quarter of a cow.

Which is the equivalent of being able to consume his own weight in beef, which is why I asked you what you would... Definitely not beef. It's horrific, isn't it? And over in France, they call it boff. Is that true? It's true. It is true, great. It's true.

Instant doubt. But I don't think they say it like either. It's one of those things where if you go to... They call it boss. You go to France and you try and say their language and you think you're nailing it and they still look at you like, sorry, what? Yeah. What are you trying to say? Bof. Oh, you're trying to say bolf.

Yeah. You're like, oh, come on. That was so close. It's like a French person speaking English. Obviously, they're still speaking English with a French accent. You know, like, sorry, I have no idea what you're saying. What is a libriary? Librarie.

Do it? Meet me in the middle, please. Please. Oh, say it after me. Lieberry. Lieberry. We're going down to lawberry. Librarie.

What the... What's the... I'd tell you about that when I was in Paris and I was doing this walking tour and this girl's talking about the... the bobo's with like the bohemium something there was two different things and they were sort of like hipster bohemiums and i and then this guy walked past was very similar he described and i said a bobo and he goes sorry well is he a bobo he's like i don't what are you trying a bobo i said oh a bobo said yes yes the thing we were just talking about and i clearly pointed out and i clearly pointed

out of guide. You've definitely told us that story and I'm really hoping that it's been on air. So listeners are going, yeah, Matt. I probably is. I'm still furious. And fair enough. Great walking through. It was a great car.

And you saw baburs? Yeah. So that's a win. Yeah, yeah. It was the Red Light District. There was a lot of Babos. Well. It was a Red Light District.

Okay. Terrari may have been a bumon. We're not sure. But despite his small size, in many ways he was built. to eat. He had... Baby we were born to eat. Yum, yum, yum, yum.

Nom, nom, nom. And we perfected that joke. That was a team effort. He had an incredibly large mouth. Oh, okay. He's putting the Vikings mouth. He did it. No, my teeth get in the way.

Oh, Jess looks like a snake. Owl. Go again, Matt? Yeah, it doesn't feel good. I reckon that we just chose which marks are going to be our own one forever. Yeah, I'm going to mark this one, yeah. He also had barely any lips, which meant he was able to... What does that?

When he had one? Barely any lips. It was very thin, I mean. Thin lips. For some reason, he was able to waltz down large meals with ease because of it's like, because you know when you're eating and your lips get in the way? Is this one of those things where it was like It was so early in history that people didn't know

That animals and people were different And it was like a snake came to town I'm like oh this is a new guy in town Pretty quiet He's quiet but he bloody loves that It's his pony weight Yeah look at that he just had a quarter of a cow It was only last century they discovered the difference

Between animals and people There was a story Because there's a story I told on primates a while ago about this town in England where a shipwreck came and it was a French shipwreck and a monkey washed up on shore and they thought it was a French man and they hanged him

and that's true yeah it's got Hartleypool I've said I pronounced that wrong in the first place and people were furious listen to Prime mates and hear me muck that up I got a lot of tweets about it I think I said heartle pool but it's Hartley pool and their sporting teams are still called the monkey

hangers. For a long time it was like, it was a... I mean, the look of shock on Jess in my face right now. Yeah, isn't that wild? So for a long time, that was like a bit of a put down, but it's one of those ones that's come back around and they're sort of vaguely proud of it now. It shouldn't have come back around.

They hung a monkey. Yeah, we hung the monkey. We fucked a monkey. Whatever. That's so weird. Wait, who's we there in that case? When people, like, it's used against you, but then you try and reclaim it.

Yeah. Yeah. So what about I fucked a monkey? We'll call the team the, the monkey fuckers, whatever. It's like, all right. Nobody wants to play for the monkey fuckers.

They're not getting away. All right, fine. The monkey hangers. The monkey lovers. They hanged a monkey. Thinking it was a French spy or something like that. That's so weird. I mean, how do they explain the tale?

Yeah. Yeah, there's a darker explanation, which I want to do because it makes me sad. But, uh, because it was a while ago. But, um, yeah, there's like they've got statues around the town, including one that's clearly a chimp.

It's not a monkey. You're, whole town is built around the identity of monkey hangers and your statue for the monkey hangers is a chimpanzee which is an ape. It doesn't matter. But it does, doesn't it? It does. It really does.

It bothers you at night. Let's get back to the eater. You were talking about him being a snake being mistaken for a man. Well, Tarara, he could apparently separate his two jaws or just his jaws, should say, by up to 10 centimetres or 4 inches. That's the gap he could get. So he'd probably get all three of these microphones. Wow.

That's fucked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He also had a large belly that hung so low that he could wrap it around his waist when it was empty. So he had like a lot of skin going on. What? That doesn't make any sense.

Yeah. It was also like having a big mouth and a big stomach is fine. But if there's a big bottleneck in the middle, then it's not, you're not going to be able to eat that fast. So he must also have a huge snake-like esophagus. the opposite of me because I have many bottlenecks. That's what stops me from eating. Have you gone public about that? Yeah, I'm sure about it. Yeah, you have.

Have it stretched out by a doctor? Yeah, I reckon I've talked about it on this point. I still blows my mind. You're the real hero here, Dave. Thank you so much. Basically, if I do need to explain it in case, because this does sound weird out of context. A few years ago, I discovered that the reason I'd been eating so slowly my whole life was because in my esophagus I have several narrowing passages that are called

esophageal webs or esophageal rings. You got a webbed esophagus, basically. And to sort that out, they put you to sleep, put the camera down there, which they couldn't, it was so tight they couldn't even get the camera down there. So they stretched it out. They put a balloon down there called a bogey, and then they inflated. It's like American Army talk, isn't it, for a bomb? I said the bogey or something, some sort of American army.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. The bogey, yeah, maybe it's... That's for the president. Oh, the president's the bogey. That's what they call Trump. He's the boogie. Boogie. Because he's, yeah, he's not a great golfer.

He's the triple bogey. On every hole. His other calling card, this is Terraray, not Trump, was his stench. Oh, God, this poor guy. He stunk big time. What the... Oh, this poor person. I mean, he's eating a quarter of a cow in a day.

That's not a recipe. You've heard a beautiful scent. Apparently, sweating all the time. In an age before deodorant and bathing, he was not a guy you wanted to be close to. In an age before bathing? Yeah. They didn't bathe. Yeah.

Surely you know that. At all. Yeah, people didn't bathe. What? What do you think people are having baths and showers? No, you go to the stream or something. Yeah, you just splash some water on yourself. Oh, no.

There was a time where people were worried that it would be bad for you. Oh. Oh, my. God, that's so dumb. Current day, England. Looking out the window. It's a very beautifully scented country. It's very beautiful.

I've been sniffing about and it is good. I did mean to say this and I was going to do it off pod, but stop smelling the locals. It's not customary here. It's rude. They smell great though, don't they? They smell great and you can subtly smell them if you're standing behind someone on a bus. But stop going up to waiters and... And they say table for three and you go,

Oh. Yes, we'll take table for three. I always sniff before I'm making a booking. You're like, table for no thanks. Yeah. She smelled terrible. Come on, guys. I'm not going to eat here.

What have you had a quarter of a cow today? Well, according to a report in the London medical. Well, they all stink, though. Yeah. But he's particularly bad. That's bad. If you're the worst of a stinky bun. lunch. Oh dear.

I guess it would be normal as well. If everyone stinks, does anyone stink? One of the things I think about when you go back in time like a few hundred years. And you know when before they had sewage and they just sort of throwing buckets of shit into the street? I just think any modern day person would probably pass out instantly from the smell. Because they're obviously more used to it, as used to it as any human can get to this. No, I'd just kill myself. Immediately.

Yeah, that's the problem. I always think that like time travel would be. so fun to go and see a Shakespeare play or something, but yeah, everything about the time apart from maybe the Shakespeare play. And I don't even like Shakespeare. So anything, so really nothing.

Yeah. There's nothing. But, like, even 10 years back, I think, would be, there'd be so many things you're like, oh, I don't like this about it. Yeah, it smells terrible. Move forward. This smells like Lynx Africa.

I'd go back to the 80s. Yeah? Smoking everywhere. Yep. It'd be my number one. Just want to smoke everywhere and get a pun. Look, I lived through it and it was good. Yeah.

What time. All right, I remember, I'm sure I remember something. Perms. Do you remember the concept of Perms? Yeah. Okay, cool, man. Dave, too go on. According to a report in the London Medical and Physical Journal,

quote, he often stank to such a degree that he could not be endured within the distance of 20 paces. I've endured, isn't it? That's outstanding. because everyone stinks. Well, he was constantly sweating and not surprisingly, according to some sources, he had almost constant diarrhea. Adding to the smell,

apparently his shits were nasty. Wait, when you say constant diarrhea, is he just shitting himself all the time? That's why you can eat 45 kilos of beef. It's just a constant flow. It's also why he was a very fast runner. He was sort of jet propelled. Yeah, his projectile diarrhea.

What? Yeah, what? Did he consider that his bad diet, might have played a partner or he just didn't put that together at all? Well, his appetite was so insatiable that at around this age, in his late teens, his parents kicked him out of their house complaining that they could no longer afford to keep him. This is a real sad life. So, Tararo made his way through the countryside, living as best he could,

which meant begging, stealing and occasionally just rummaging through the trash. So he wanted to work and he needed to eat. So why not eat to work? Yeah. I love this. You got to play to your strength. True. He became a travelling showman,

quickly becoming famous as the man who could eat anything. Oh. He fell in with a band of thieves and performers who would travel across France, putting on their different acts and supplementing their incomes by pickpocketing the audience. Good, yeah. By the hand that feeds you. It's a way of guaranteeing that they're going to put something in the hat.

He literally did that. He would eat their hands. Wow. They looked down in their missing finger. Wow. Tarare could swallow any. anything. In his act, he would swallow corks, stones, and live animals whole,

all for the joy and disgust of the crowd. Live animals. Whole. Oh, that's not nice. Yeah, according to all that's interesting.com, great website. Quote, his massive deformed jaw would swing open so wide that he could pour a whole basket of apples down his mouth and hold half a dozen of them in his cheeks like a chipmunk. That is not true.

That can't be true. Unless apples back then were grape size. That's not true, Dave. It's true. All that's interesting and true. We've really got on board that website recently. I've then left the group of travelling vagabonds. I love that word.

To take up employment with a travelling, quote, doctor. And I do not mean a good doctor. Tarare would swallow stones and live animals to draw attention to this travelling charlatan's dubious medical cures. basically to help him sell stuff. And I'm not sure how swallowing animals would help, but I guess he would yell, I swallowed a pigeon, I'm cured. Yes.

And then what? And then people would sell a pigeon? You can all buy, and everyone else is trying to swallow a pigeon. It's absolutely impossible. It's like, why are we buying this doctor's pigeons? They're everywhere. Flying rats.

Yeah, but these are swallowable pigeons. Yeah, they're coated in gelatin. Come on. Easy to digest. They just slide right on down. Oh, codine gelatin, or that's made from animal stomach linings? I don't. I won't.

That's made from boiling bones. I don't do that. Just give me you the pigeon gelatin-gelt-free, please. I'll choke it down, thank you. So he's eating all sorts of stuff as a performer. Now, you're going to eat like that. Eventually, it's going to catch up with you somehow. One day something got...

What, eating stones isn't going to be great for you long term. Get out of town, Dave. Very hard to digest. I love. He's troubling with it. doctor and the doctor's like, eat that stone, I'll sell something and this will be good

for me. It's not good at all. Well, one day something got caught and he had to be treated for a bowel obstruction. He needs to poop. After being treated by a surgeon, he offered to show off his talents by swallowing the surgeon's watch and chain.

When will you learn? The surgeon was not amused and allegedly replied that he would cut Tarare Air open with his sword if he had to to recover his valuable position. Why a sword, surgeon? Surely you have a scalp. His doctor was Zorro. Oh, perfect.

He only does Zed incision. I'd be okay with that. Yeah. A couple of triangle flaps in the stomach. Well, you just said you'd be okay with that. I know, but I didn't think about it. I thought of it more like just a scar and a shape of a Z. Yeah, but there'd be other things like, oh, no, I've got a cut of my leg that needs to be stitched

and he'd be like, well, I'm afraid I only do incisions. I've got a splinter doctor. Oh, I don't have a finger anymore. Thank you, doctor. Thank you. Thank you. After his trip to the hospital, the medical community began to monitor his unique abilities. They began to study him in the hopes of identifying the cause of his eating behaviour.

Unique's not a great word, is it? It's a word that... Not when you're seeing a doctor. Oh, that's exactly what I got when I got the esophagus thing. went to a specialist and I'm like, oh yeah, how, you know, like, what do you do? Usually in this situation, he goes, I'm not really sure I've never seen this before in someone,

in a young person. And I'm like, oh, okay. And he's like, yeah, I'll have to consult some people. And I said, if this doesn't work, what do you do? And he's like, I'll have to make some calls. I'm not sure. Oh, that doesn't instill confidence. It's funny.

It's like blag you way through, mate. Come on just flag it. Make me feel good. Oh yeah, that'd be fine. We've got a few options. We've got a few options. I might have to send you to it. Another guy I know who's really great and deals with this stuff.

Yeah. That's how I would do it. Basically, he was like, yeah, I've been a specialist for 25 years and I've never seen this. So that's pretty cool. And then when I had the operation, he brought a friend in who was visiting from England. And he's like, oh, this is another surgeon. He's here to observe the procedure. Basically, you're a freak show kid.

And this guy wants to watch. Don't blame him. Is that why we're here in England to get revenge? Yeah, that's right. We're going to track this guy down. And I'm going to perform surgery on his esophagus. Love it. See how he likes it with a sword.

Perfect. So basically, the medical community are absolutely in love with Terraray because they've never seen anything like it. But science wasn't super advanced back then. So basically all that would happen is they would give him different things to eat just to see what would happen to him. So, and being a person who never ever felt full, you're going to try anything to satisfy your hunger. There was almost nothing he wouldn't eat.

Things he ate were not limited to. A live eel. Oh, a snake. One of his own. What a range so far. A worm. A different type of eel. A door snake.

He apparently ate a cat. Eel. A live cat. I mean, I'm not much of a cat, person. but that's still fucked. Are they two things on your list? A cat? A live cat.

No, it was a lot. He's clarifying. How many things are you going to go through here? He also ate a huge dinner that was meant to feed 15 labourers, including two enormous meat pies and four gallons of milk. That's a lot of milk. Oh, yuck, no. That's like over 10 litres.

That's too much milk. I once drank two litres of chocolate Big M. What? Why? I was on break at a supermarket, and it was on special. And it was basically a challenge. You want a diarrhea? No, I got so far through it.

I reckon I got two-thirds the way through and it's like, I got to go for it. There's a few other people in the room. They're like, you've got to go for it. The tea room's all behind me. I'm just pouring. Oh, into a glass too, very sophisticated. I like that.

Basically shodding this milk. You're not like sipping it over a long time. Yeah, yeah, it was in a 15-minute break. And I finished it, and then I stood up. I tucked the chair in. Good boy. I walked into a run to the bathroom and just it all came straight back out. Out the mouth.

And then back to work. Back to work. Sort of dusted my hands off. Yeah. And then you got nothing from that break. No, that was. Yeah, that is too. I think.

That was a wasted break. I realized that was too much, too much milk. Yeah. Probably too much milk and too much sugar in one quick hit. Yeah. Good point. I forget about the sugar side of things. Yeah, it was fine. What a time. Like teenage boys, or teenage humans probably, just can eat and it doesn't. Like, I used to eat a six pack of donuts. I would have probably had six pack of donuts and that milk.

Oh, yeah, I had friends who'd regularly eat 12 pieces of toast for breakfast. Twelve. Yeah, you said... How many minutes are you spent toasting? Yeah, true. Yeah, that's like, that's half a loaf of bread. I'd have three big salad sandwiches, cheese and salad sandwiches for lunch at school. So it's been the first half of lunch, I'm just sitting here. In case you don't know how eating sound there. Oh. Sorry, that will definitely gross some people out.

Some people can't handle that sound. Other people listen to what to go to sleep. Asimar. Yeah, that's weird. Ask Mr. That's weird. What else is weird? The shit this guy's...

I don't think anything's as weird ever in the world than this story you're telling us right now. Amazing and fucked. I wanted to finish off. After he ate the 15 labourers, 15 men's worth of food. He ate 15 labours. He went into some sort of food coma for a few hours. We've all been there.

Every Christmas. Oh, Christmas, it's so hard to keep your eyes open, Christmas. But then I go back for dessert every time. Doesn't it? Don't you feel like a real failure now, though? Like, that's a food coma. Whatever we're having, like, you know, a food light nap. Yeah.

Oh, what did you have? A couple of roast potatoes and some gravy. Ooh. Like three salads. Take a hike. Yeah. Have an eel and talk to me. Yuck.

Have 12 litres of milk and we'll talk. No, absolutely not. Never, no. Yuck. I can handle two. He's had six times that amount. Oh, gross. And that's just like to wash things down.

He just ate the table. It just sounds like he's this. I'm picturing a snake man. He's just like dropping his lower jaw and just. I'm imagining that Monty Python character. Oh, yeah. A slither A weifer thin

Better get a bucket I appear to have stepped in Monsieur's bucket John Cleese is so good in that It's another English topic we did We'll draw a listing before all the English topics we've done And there's so many London things We're going to try and get to as many of the landmarks There's no way we can possibly do it

No we're not going to knock them all off But we did go to 221A Baker Street And then we also went to 221B Baker Street Yeah Dumb shit. It was in many ways more interesting. And more relevant. Yeah, there was less cues at A, though.

I just got straight to the front. We're just knocking on some person's door. Hello! Let me in Sherlock's neighbour. Have you ever met him? What's he like? Answer me! And this guy called Dr. Watson, I got boring.

Back to the other cue. Yarn. We literally yawned in his face. So Tarare is being studied. But then the Napoleonic Wars broke out. Terare enlisted to fight for his country. Bit of a patriot. I love that.

He enlisted in the war of the first coalition in France, where France took on the Holy Roman Empire, Austria, Britain, Spain, Portugal and the Dutch Republic all at the same time, and won. Really? So where is this in the Roman Empire's history? Obviously right at the end. No, this is the 1700s. So what's the Holy Roman Empire doing?

That's just, at this stage, it's just like a couple of... blocks in Italy. Yeah, well, I mean, it's a precursor to Italy, really, yeah. So France is taking on everyone at the same time and winning. Love that. At this stage, anyway.

But this is in no way thanks to our friend Tarare, because he didn't end up fighting. He wasn't physically able to. He helped out his fellow soldiers to carry out their day-to-day tasks and then ate their rations as compensation. The army tried to keep him going by quadrupling his rations,

so giving him four times as much food as any other soldier and then he ate other soldiers snacks. Why was he important enough to them to waste so much food? I guess they just wanted to be part of. He's a really good hacker. Yeah. But he still ended up in the military hospital because no matter what he ate. Hungry, hungry hacker.

Hacking back then was like hack soaring, chopping people apart. Yeah. He was a magician. No matter what he ate, his appetite. Can I have a volunteer? You eel. Get in my box. Oh, where's he putting that eel?

That was gross. Now that was gross. He ate a live cat, but that. Hey Dave, can you edit out the bit or ask the dumb question about the Roman Empire? No. Fuck. So basically, he ended up in hospital

because no matter how much food they gave him, it just wasn't enough to keep him going and he sort of didn't have enough energy. There was an attempt to take advantage of his talents when they tried to use him as a spy and a courier. So he started eating the evidence. Hum num, num, num, num, num, ham.

Actually, not that far from the truth. Yes. To prove that he could eat anything, Terraro was asked to eat 30 pounds of raw liver and cow's lungs as a demonstration. He passed the test with flying colors. He's like, you mean actual food? Yeah. I can eat those.

Dry reached a little bit there. That's gross. He did it, and he was recruited as a spy. Basically, his mission was they fed him a wooden box with a secret message inside and then let nature take its course and they would fish it out of the latrine. How big is his butthole?

His pooping wooden boxes. Imagine being the guy that was assigned. Imagine that on the way out. It looked like a snake. Now that would look like a snake like dropping his jaw. That's his butt. This is my butt. Not your butt.

His butt. Come on. Sorry. I don't want to big myself up here. Imagine being the poor young soldier They're like Alright can you just fish out of the latrine The box that they go to shut out

We need it But then again He always had diarrhoea So you don't have to shift through solid sheets I reckon a wooden box It'd make itself pretty You just hose it down a bit And then grab it

Did you like that's the thing that I think Do they have rubber gloves about there? I don't know This is a grosser I don't know how to tell it But I once When I was a toddler I had a coin

and my parents had to make sure it came out. Yeah. No good. So I'll regret saying that. Is it days and days of examining just in case it was that day? Yeah. I guess when it's a toddler, they're probably... Your dad should have bought a metal detector.

She held it at your butt. This kid's shitting heaps of coins. He's paying out. This is a gold bar. Gold butt. They did a test run and it seemed to work okay. And then another at the French Army headquarters on the Rhine where Napoleon himself may or may not have been present.

Two options there. I'm going to say may. All right. Still have it confirmed. He still may have been there. Yeah. I won't commit. May or may not.

May. He may have been. I'm an optimist. Operation Poo Box was given the green light That's not what it was called You called it that Or should I say the brown light You didn't call it that

They called it that Dave you wrote that joke didn't you Yes I did And you were very proud of it Bloody good stuff What noise did you make when you wrote it? You spoke over it so Probably wronged it

Oh Dave sorry But I didn't get it When I don't get a joke I don't respect a joke Yeah if you've got to explain a joke I'll just edit it in here. And Operation Poo Box was given the green light, or should I say, brown light?

I get it now. Thank you. Thank you. That was probably the key part I missed was the green light line. And do you still think it's a good joke? I don't think it's a good joke. But I get it. I mean, yeah.

I mean, is it a joke might be a stretch. Yeah. I mean, it's definitely a couple of sentences back to back. It's a quality joke. That is a good joke, Dave. I was just trying to be cool for jokes. Yeah, be cool for me. I'm just trying to win Jess with respect.

I'm just trying to be cool for Jeff. Play it cool, Matt. I reckon she's starting to respect you. Hey, she can't hear me. She's not wearing headphones, but I am. Yeah. You can hear you. I can hear me?

Can you hear me? You're not wearing headphones either. He said that. I can hear, but I don't know who's saying it. What are you guys talking about? Respect. Cool, man. I love that song.

I've said cool man too many times today. Cool man. Jess, I think you're starting to win Matt over by saying cool man. Do you reckon? Yeah. Oh, I just want him to respect me. He's starting to respect you. I respect everyone.

Thanks, Dave. That's why you're my favourite. Okay, so Operation Pooh Box. Given the brown light, yes. And it definitely wasn't called poo box. Well, it was probably called, what do they call? Med. Med box.

Med. Shit. And box is box. Bo. Mono equals one. Rail equals rail. All right. Had to get a Simpsons reference in somewhere.

No, you got to do what you got to do. His first mission, which he chose to accept, was to deliver a. A message to a French colonel who was held prisoner behind enemy lines in a Prussian fortress. Okay. So he has to deliver a message. So he gets his way to that person, pops a squat, shits in front of them. And then reads the note out to him. His memory is awful.

That's the thing you don't got to know about it. Hands in the box secretly. They think he's just handing over any old piece of poo. But really, inside that poo is a box. And inside that box is a note. And on that note, it says, Remember to wash your hands. And then on the note it says,

just listen to this guy's got a message for you. Well, apparently, you would be surprised to know. This didn't end up working out. Yeah, because we just explained that it's stupid. I've actually got written here. And not just because shitting out a message is an insane plan. But the real hole in the plan was sending Tararo who only spoke French into Prussian territory

where they speak German. He was almost immediately captured and tortured. Tarari thought he had swallowed a really important top secret message. Oh my God, it's just going to be like call your mother or pick up milk or something. Apparently all it said was, quote, if you hear anything about Prussian movements, report back. Movements, bowel movements. Oh my God, that was so pointless. Basically, it says if you hear something, let us know.

That's kind of implied in a way, isn't it? You think that this colonel would probably be thinking. They're not been sitting on all these big war seekers that would end at all. What do I do with all this information? No one's told me to tell anyone. I'll wait for Operation Poopbox. Which I assume is happening. So the Prussians found out about the plan.

Then they found out it was only a test message and that it was meaningless. So they let him go. This is for R. At first he was sentenced to death. But after a mock execution and a bit of a beating, he was allowed to go home. So they did let him go home. Is a mock execution when they just... like stand in front of you pointing and insulting you.

Yeah. You're standing. Like you say something. Yeah. And you're, uh, nice hanging your guts. You dildo.

It's basically like an 18th century roast. Yeah, yeah, great. I hate roasts. Yeah, I don't enjoy them. They're so popular in America.

I don't get them. I hate them with a passion. I think they are very lame. Apparently still, like, I was listening to someone talk about it recently. They're like still one of the highest. rating comedy shows on American TV

and one of the few places that you can quickly become a start. It used to be Carson. Now the closest equivalent is probably the roast. Is that what someone was? No, I hated it. It's so mean. And they all seem like such lame scripted jokes. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.

Jerry Seinfeld, yeah. You could finally get the taste of George Costanza's dick out of your mouth. That is pretty funny. What? Yeah, it's normally you go, So, all right, so you're either, I'm going to make fun of you because you're fat, you're old, you're a slut, or your, man, that's it, they're the three. Yeah.

They're the big three. Yeah. Yeah. Or you've had some kind of trouble with the law. Right. Or your face looks funny or something. Yeah. It's some real shallow, shallow burn and usually probably doesn't it?

It's just like they're just, it's awful. It's a variation of similar jokes you've heard a million times. So I feel bad for this guy for having a mock. Gross. Basically because he's sitting there cringing going... There's got to be something more to it for them to be so popular, right? Yeah. I haven't watched many, to be honest.

Because they're too cringy. I don't like it. Yeah, right. So I won't watch more. I think maybe it's the kind of thing live might be more enjoyable if you're in the room or something. And also, like, there are people who are great at it. Like, that's their thing. And that can be fun.

It's sort of, because it's almost like a content. It's not just one way as well. Everyone gets a right or reply, so it's not like it's full mean and everyone's in on the joke. Yeah. Roast battles and stuff like that. But no, not for me, thanks. I'd like to participate in a compliment battle. That is a fun idea.

I prefer rap battles. Yeah, you would. I prefer eel eating competitions. You do have a big mouth if you really want to open. I've never noticed that. I do eat pretty fast. You do eat fast, yeah. Because we've been having a few meals together lately,

and you always finish first. And I always. No, not at all. There's an etiquette is that you try and you eat to the pace that everyone, the sauce. Then your food goes cold. Just eat your food. We're not insulted. We're impressed.

I'm always like, damn, Matt. Good job. Oh, I'm so jealous. I wish I could. Yeah, really, we should raise to you. I'm jealous of you too because you're like, that is how you meant to eat slowly, chew your food. You don't overeat then. Well, I'll slam it down and then be like, ooh, a little bit too much.

Yeah. Because there's a half hour delay, right? Apparently that's one of the keys to being healthy is... Eat slowly. Eat slowly, yeah. Anyway, back to the report. So he left the army and went back to hospital to try and get some more answers. He was placed under the care of renowned surgeon George Didier, the Baron Percy.

What a name. Very good. What a title. George Didier, the Baron Percy. Unlike the other weirdos, apparently did really want to help the very hungry man. He had a lot more compassion than the other doctors that were like, eat that. Eat this. But I say that.

He tried, but his treatments were not exactly what we'd call conventional today. Attempted antidotes included doping him up with opium, then tobacco, employing vinegars and mineral waters, and bizarrely stuffing tarare full of soft-boiled eggs. Sadly, none of this seemed to work. Weird. Who would have thought? Wow

Disappointing Yeah Failure Another failure We'll never know There wasn't enough food in the hospital To satisfy his ravenous hunger And Tarare would sneak out at night

To look for sustenance And he took it wherever he found it Can imagine if he was alive today On every corner He'd be a superstar Oh yeah He'd have a reality TV show There'd just be so many options for him to eat

You know Cheap, affordable, fast food Yeah So many things He'd be on... Yeah, because in there that show, there's that show, man eats the world or whatever. Man versus food. Man eats the world.

That's what I would call Tarare's show. Yes. Did you say, what's Tarare mean? Is that translated to something? Or it's, you know, it's not clear. Oh, it sounds like there's a food that it sounds like Tarare isn't there? Doesn't matter. I'm not sure to be honest.

Doesn't matter. So he was sneaking out of hospital. He would eat awful, rejected from butchers and sometimes even garbage. He would eat roadkill And according to TV tropes Sometimes fight with cats Over who would get to eat the roadkill And then he'd eat the cats

This is pretty gross So prepare yourself for it You ready, Jess? It's all been a bit gross But yeah, okay Yeah, it's like Everything you've said's been gross But prepare stuff

No, that tells you it's what he's going to say is fucked Like in France when everyone stinks But he stinks Yeah, this is like that I've found another level he would eat bandages and human blood from surgeries. Oh yeah, that's no good. And was even caught trying to sneak into the morgue to eat the corpses.

There's something... Okay, I was going to say something very obvious there. There's something wrong with him. Well, I mean, he's in a hospital. He was a nuisance, and several of the doctors complained that Terraré would be better off in a lunatic asylum. But Percy defended his presence at the hospital. That is, until a toddler mysteriously disappeared

from the wards. I read this in multiple places. No. It is not known if he was definitely responsible, but Terrari was the prime suspect, and because of this, the furious doctors finally had an excuse to kick him out of the hospital for good.

Oh. So no. Okay, even if he didn't, the fact that so many people believed they probably did. You don't have much of a choice, do you? No, but it's just like, you've got,

you're that far that people would believe that you would eat a toddler. No. No. I did interpret it in some places as those doctors that wanted to get rid of him to go to a lunatic asylum were like, all right, we'll use this. But then other places were pretty adamant that he may have eaten a child.

So we can't tell. So long later. That's awful. Terraray disappeared from the history books for a while. He resurfaced four years later after being admitted to a hospital in Versailles after he was so weak he couldn't even leave his bed. Tarare believes his trouble stemmed from swallow. a golden fork. Oh, how did he think that was going to quench his hunger?

But the doctors said, no, no, you have advanced tuberculosis. Oh. So that's what he was sick and dying from. He reached out to Surgeon Percy's old friend who came to his side as soon as he could, but by then nothing could be done. And Terraray finally passed away in 1798 at the apparent age of only 26. Oh, wow. 26.

So that was, he left home at 17. So all that stuff, and there was four years where we don't know what happened to him. So most of that stuff happened over five years. So we did quite a lot of stuff. Wow. Doctors were reluctant to perform an autopsy on Terraris' body as it went pretty rank pretty fast. He seemed to decompose way faster than a usual body.

I think he's an alien. But the chief surgeon at the Visay Hospital eventually stepped up to the plate and cut him open. He found that Terraris gullet was unusually wide. What you were saying, Matt. Right. Which is the exact opposite of the place. me. Right. So he just had a big

big downpike. He could just swallow anything. Right. And when his giant jaws were forced open, he could see all the way into Rare's enormous stomach. He could see all the way down. So if you put him in a position like his dead body and opened up his mouth, looked down the esophagus, it's so

wide you could see into his stomach. Yark! Which was huge. Covered in pus and filled almost the entire abdominal cavity. So he had a bigger stomach than anyone else. Also abnormally large was his liver, gallbladder and his stomach had many, many ulcers. Not surprising because he swallowed all that horrible

stuff. And quote, the golden fork that he swallowed was never found. Oh! It was never found. I don't understand. It was after discovering this that according to the London Medical and Physical Journal again

quote, the stents of the body was so insupportable that M. Tesier, who's the chief surgeon of the hospital, could not carry out his investigation to any further extent. So this is a man that for a living opens up bodies, but it was so gross. Even he had to be like, I can't, I can't go on. That's, I can't go on.

Incredible and so gross. So gross. Now, so that's the story of his life. I've got some possible explanations that people have brought up over the years as to why he was able to eat like this. May I? Please. Mole people.

It was a mole person inside him. Living inside. Eating all the people. All the food. You don't want to get a tapeworm? And apparently... Remember the time I thought I had a tapeworm? Yeah, because it takes away all your sustenance.

Yeah. That system of a down song a lot. Yeah. Why did I think that? Were you feeling a bit tired? Because it's one of the symptoms. Yeah, I was tired. And I...

Yeah, you saw a tapeworm crawl into your nose. I think I'd like... I dropped some weight. And I just assumed it must have been a tapeworm and not any kind of... I love a real jump to a... Yeah. No, I really thought I had a tapeworm. I always jumped to the conclusion of... Anyway, tell us what other conclusions people have jumped to.

Whilst things may have been exaggerated over time, many of Terraris eating habits were documented thoroughly by doctors. So there is not... I mean, a lot of this probably could be sort of urban legend to an extent, but he definitely... So far ago. Definitely was alive because there's many written accounts. Yep.

From medical, you know, medical people at the time. So the medical word for uncontrollable... hunger and eating is polyphagia. And not being able to swallow, which I suffer from, is dysfagia. Dysfagia. Dishfagia. Polyfagia. So he's got polyfagia.

He had polyfagia. The BBC speculates that Terare might have been suffering from a form of hypothyroidism, a condition that occurs due to the excessive production of thyroid hormones. Symptoms include increases in metabolism, excessive diarrhea, sweating and thin hair, all of which match descriptions of Terare. He sounds like he looked gross. Yeah. Other medical theories...

I don't be that in a judgey way. I just mean he sounds like physically he'd be yuck to look at physically. Just physically. Yeah. He also sounds like he was a bit of a dull person to be around. But physically, ugh. Not appealing. Eating a live eel is so boring.

Yeah, no good. Other medical theories include that you may have had uncontrollable diabetes. or damage to his brain's limbic system, which I believe would have, that's the thing that would shut off when you're full and he would never, never feel full. Right. But Jan Bondenson, a medical historian at the University of Cardiff in Wales, which we are a lot close to than we usually are, who was written a book about Terraray and other medical oddities, says we probably won't see anything like him again.

Medicine has improved greatly since the 18th century, and anyone like Terraray would hopefully be diagnosed and treated appropriately these days before. things spiraled out of control. That's insane. Hopefully you'd be like, my child can eat half a horse, can you look into it? And they wouldn't just be like,

eat this stone. Let's see what happens. They might be like, how did you find out? Which half of the horse? Like a head or butt? What have we stuffed you full of boiled eggs?

We find out. Probably they thought that would happen. We started the show with mention of eating competitions these days. Yes. So I thought I'd just briefly wrap up with that actually. Are you going to wrap it?

Please don't. Thank you, Jess. Yeah, I'm sorry I started it, but you're welcome that I finished it. Yeah, Jess, can I also say thank you? I would have been very embarrassed. Yes, you would have looked quite the fool. These days, the closest thing we get to this is the Major League Eating League. Is Major League eating is what I meant to say.

An organisation that organizes professional competitive eating events. The MLA. And television specials. Have you heard much about the MLA? Do you know much about it? Only vaguely. I reckon there was like a superstar guy a while ago, whose name I'd probably recognise if I heard it.

I will mention this superstar. The league airs its annual Nathan's famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest on ESPN. So it gets aired on proper sports channel. The reigning champion is American Joey Chestnut. Joey Chestnut. Do you know Joey Chestnut? Joey Chestnut is a fantastic name.

It's so good. And it would be so great if you had some kind of nut allergy. Two chestnuts. That'd be very funny. Well, be ironic. I'm hungry. You know what's ironic? Ironic is Wayne, Wayne on your wedding day.

On your wedding day. I'm having a stroke. I think we're all a bit hungry. Are you hungry? I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry. This reporter's made me hungry for eel. Um-nam-nam-nam-nam.

So Joey Chestnut is the raining champion. after winning his sixth consecutive hot dog eating contest in 2012 by eating 68 hot dogs. Oh my God, one more, Joey. In 10 minutes. 69, you want. He stated, quote, I will not stop until I reach 70. Come on, mate, 69. This sport isn't about eating, he said.

It's about drive and dedication. And at the end of the day, hot dog eating challenges both my body and my mind. I bet it does. Joey, read a book. It's not about eating. Get a girlfriend. This year, so that was 20. Boyfriend.

He'd have plenty of lovers. Every hot dog. I reckon he smells grey. So 2012, he 8, 68. This year, what do you reckon he ate? In 10 minutes, how many hot dogs? Please, 69. Well, I'm guessing it's going to be more because otherwise, what would you ask?

I'm going to say 73. 73? I'm saying 69. He ate 74 hot dogs in 10 minutes, which is one hot dog eaten every 8 seconds. That's disgusting. What is it? And what are they, what are you talking like? What's your competition?

regulation length. What do you reckon? And in bread as well? Yeah, they eat the bread. I mean, he's just a guy. Not every man who has a weird hot dog eating thing has been in bread, Jess. It's kind of disappointing that you went straight there.

But actually, yes, in this instance. You got lucky. You got lucky. His mom is his dad. Sorry, Joey Chestnut. Other records that you could attempt on the major league eating website include the 7-11 sports slurpee which is a 22-a-ant sports slurpy which is you know in Australia I guess the big one what we call large large I thought that like some

sort of thing like they used to go on big gulps yeah something like so I ate a full one in nine seconds in 2010 oh my god the brain freeze you I don't think you'd ever recover I get brain free so easily it's embarrassing I'm getting one now and then I have to sit there like for ages. Nah, I wouldn't even do it. It's not worth it. The most disgusting one to imagine on their website for me is...

Oh, great. Yeah, bring it on. The blueberry pie eating competition. I love that. Nine pounds. Nine pounds of blueberry pie. I was nine pounds when I was born. So your weight in blueberry pie eaten hands free

eight minutes. So you're saying that's disgusting because you don't like the hands free element, do you? I do not like... See, I think that's sexy. I love... That is easily less gross than everything else you've said. Yeah, he ate a toddler and you're like, how gross is this?

You ate a delicious pie. Just a warning. Hopefully, if anyone's eating at home, stop, maybe pause this and come back later. Okay. Honestly. He ate a delicious blueberry pie and got a little on his face. I'm so sorry. I gave a warning for the blood bandages spin.

Oh, why bring it up again? I've forgotten. Well, do you want to know the hands-free blood bandages eating record? No. Also eight minutes. They did it simultaneously, blueberry and blood bandages. I think you're just worried that, yeah,

there was blueberry on their face and probably on their clothes. It's, for me that's gross. Use your hands. No, use a knife and fork. Yeah, like a human. I think that would make you disqualify it.

Yeah, and you wouldn't get it done eight minutes. Hands free. What if you ate it using cutlery with your feet? I reckon that's hands free? Okay. What did that move was about? Pie eating? Yeah.

In a way. In a way, isn't everything about pie eating? Yes, can we have a pie, learning? I'm so hungry. I need to get a pie. Yeah, mate, we'll get you a pie. It's got really serious and sincere, and I appreciate it that. We will find you a pie, I promise.

I need a pie. Thank you so, so much. But that's the end of my Tarare report. Wow. Dave, that was fascinating. It's crazy. You can see why, if anyone who has to discover that story, why they would submit it to the hat. Yeah, definitely.

Because it's very, very strange. Understandable, but gross. Yeah, thanks for everyone. Sorry if you did find that gross. I tried to find definition of his name, I could not find it. Was that what you were doing on the letter? Yeah, so I'm not sure what it means.

And even as a family name, there's on the family websites, it doesn't seem to have it. On the family websites. I guess. Oh, sorry, you don't have any family website knowledge. I don't know what that was. No, I don't. Okay.

You were having to go up me in a weird way, And I fought fire with fire. Did you? I tried to, but I lost. I feel bad. Good. Hey, well, that means, Dave, are you done? Yes, thank you.

What a great report. That was great. Sometimes a hideous report, but beautiful and it's hideousness. Honestly, I found it a bit gross when I was reading it. But also, it's one of those ones where, like Seinfeld, it's a loathsome and offensive brute, yet I can't look away. Yeah, the Kramer. I think now it's time for a segment that Jess does a jingle for,

that goes a little something like this. Jess, if you don't do it, I will wrap it. Go on. Don't make him wrap it, Jess. No, he wants to do it. Anyway, it goes like this. Widget the World Watcher. It's called fact, quote, or question.

And this week's fact quote or question. I don't know what that noise was, I'm sorry. Nobody knows what that noise was. I just went, chik-a-cha. That's from first Bueller's Day off. Chik-ch-s-c-c-a. Oh. This week's... Mine was more of a bird noise.

No bird has ever made that noise. Chaka! That's a dying bird. Yeah, as it's being eaten by Terraro. Chica. As it falls down, he's gullet. Oh, yuck. This week's fact, quote, or question comes in from Patreon Mani Gaza.

So the way this works is if you're a Patreon on a certain level, you get to give us a fact quote a question. We read out one a week. This week's Mani Gaza's turn. He's given us... The title, this is his first one, a few people have had cycle around a couple times, but this is Manning's first fact, quote or question. You also get to give yourself a title, and Mani's given himself the title, Junior Vice President of Nick Mason's Golden Tuxedo Rental. Oh.

Nick Mason being the official fifth beetle slash fourth do go on. And of course the official president of the Tuxedo renting association. Yes. Because he's a world famous party boy, Nick May. And he has chosen to give us a quote. Okay. And he's got a slight pre-ramble. Pre-amble.

So a pre-quot. Pre-ramble. Okay. So it starts. I love when people type as they talk. I like it. Okay. He writes like people talk.

Okay. Since you did an episode on Chessie Pula and other WW2 badasses, that's World War II, did you know that the Southern Cross on your Australian flag is also on the blue diamond of the first marine division. And he hasn't even got to the fact yet. That's the preamble. Right.

Cool. To be honest, so far, I didn't know it. Here's the fact. Which is what I love how many places of the Southern Cross is and how patriotic Australians will get a Southern Cross tattoo to show how proud they are to be Australian. But it's on everything everywhere. Basically, because for people in the Northern Hemisphere,

like us right now, where you can't see, it's a constellation in the sky. that everyone in the southern hemisphere can see basically. Yeah, so it's on a lot of nations flags, including ours and New Zealand's and many others. Yeah. But it basically kind of looks like a diamond. I'd call it the southern diamond if I went back.

Or the kite. Oh, kite's cool, yeah. I guess New Zealand is the Southern Cross. It's only four. Yeah, they just don't have the little weird. I never thought about that. Yeah, yeah, cool. The bit of the Southern Cross that has nothing to do with a cross.

Yeah, they probably, they went with the right way. Yeah, they weren't efficient. And they colored him in red. Yeah, like that's badass. Now that's badass. I had a vote to change their flag maybe a year or two back now, and I got voted down. Which is a bummer. Their new flags look great.

I really, I want Australia to get a new flag. Where do you sit on that? Question without notice. Wow. If it was like fully sick, then yeah. But if it was like average, then now. Like it would have to really pimp it. Yeah, it'd have to be a fucking sick flag guy.

I'd be up for changing it nearly no matter. what? You don't like a flag? A poo box. It's the British flag. Yeah. It's a quarter of it. Yeah.

And then the rest is sort of the New Zealand flag slash a bunch of Pacific Island flags. I mean, the whole flag just looks like a whole, it's basically the same as the New Zealand flag and a bunch of other flags. It's like, what's the point? So what do you propose? I propose. My head.

Oh, okay. I'm on board. Okay. I'm off board. But just like cycling out smaller and smaller. around the outside in like a psychedelic swirl. Would that not cause some kind of hypnosis? And then...

Imagine it being carried into the Olympics. Everyone's like... And we're like crying and saluting it. God bless our boys and ghosts. So this is fact. Mani's fact. Oh yeah. The reason for this,

the Southern Cross is on the blue diamond of the first Marine division. Right. The reason for this, was during the island hopping campaign of the Pacific Islands, and more specifically, the Battle of Guadalcanal. Guadal, the Battle of Guadalcanal. I love it.

Bonus fact, my mother's last name is Stuart, so there's a slim chance Matt and I could be related. Thank you so much for that. Fact, Manny, cousin Manny. Spelt the same way? Yeah. Manny. Nice.

The real way, the authentic way. Manny's spelt the same. Yeah, Mani's spelled the same as Stuart. Wow. Yeah, it's a pronunciation thing. It's great, you got that pronunciation. Thanks so much. Yeah, thank you, Mani.

Thank you, Mani. That was a cool, little factoid. So you can get involved on Patreon if you want to at patreon.com slash dogoon pod. All sorts of rewards. They're including two bonus episodes that no one else except for the patrons here that we put out every month. So rad. So rad. So much fun.

And the other thing we do at the end of the episodes with Patrons is we read, out a few names of our great supporters from the Patreon. Oh, we definitely do. We love to thank the people that support us and make this possible. Possible. Now, we talked about Teraree, big eater, Jess. Anything in your mind that we could, because we usually give a little, a game that we play with the name. I was either going to go with what they'd eat or...

How badly they smell. How many paces could you get within them? before you smell. On the ricketer scale. That's a roast. Or we could roast them. Let's roast these bad boys. And girls.

Yeah. I mean, you asked me for what I want and then you didn't let me finish. I clearly didn't want to roast them because I'm like you. I don't know. I'm going to stop you right there. As a feminist of this show, I want to hear Jess out. I think she's had a time. Matt, what do you reckon we should do?

Good question. I'll fill this one. Thank you. Yes. I liked your options. Which one? No, no. I'm not through one option. The thing they'll eat.

I reckon it's the thing they'll be famous for eating. Okay. Yep, great. Can I kick it off? They're going to be the champion in eating this food. Blueberry pie. Go niche. Yeah, love it.

Go niche or go home. Love it. I'd love to thank, if I can, would that be okay? Please. I'd love you too. And Jess, yeah? Of course. Okay, thank you so much.

I'd love to thank Jason slash Luke Hensley from Glendale, Arizona. Yeah, there's two names there. So probably Jason, but potentially Luke. Who are you? Who do you feel like you are? I'm more of, oh, I'm a Jason. Yeah, I'm totally a Luke. I'm totally a Luke.

Dave. I'm a hyphen. I'm both. Yeah, you're a slasher. Who, what do you reckon these two would I? I reckon it's going to have to be something like salt and pepper or some of that. You know, something for Luke, something for Jason. because they are two pieces of the same pie,

which is mainly how that works. Two pieces of a different pie. I reckon Neenish tarts. Yes! Well done. I'm not familiar. They're like a tart. Yeah, yes.

But they're half pink and half like chocolate. Yeah. Or sometimes you get white and chocolate. Yeah. But, or pink and chocolate. I am so... So the top of them is sort of iced in those two. So they're iced and those colors.

Sort of like a hard ice ice ice ice. usually and then underneath that there's sort of a white I don't know what it would be but it's like a sweet cram-y marshmallow kind of thing yeah it's almost like marshmallow but it's not marshmallow

it's some sort of cream thing and then underneath that is often a layer of jam and then the tart is this the thing you can get in London because I want it now it's pretty common in Australian baker and I imagine we've ripped it off Europe somewhere

we've never thought of anything original so I would assume we've ripped it off somewhere most things that it might not be called a Nenish tart here yeah because they just call them tars because we're in Neenish. Yeah. We're in Neen.

It's like German shepherds in Germany. Just sheep. That's quite confusing. Well, I didn't make the rules, Dave. Isn't it like with Australian things, so many of the things that we're like, name the classic Australian things like Lamington or Pavlova, nearly always New Zealand are like,

no, we actually came up with those. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. We suck. Far Lap, a famous rice horse. Russell Crow. We came up with him.

Sam Neal, we claim Sam Neal Yeah, another Kiwi It's pretty cool, a pretty blazon Or brazen Did you know I did a scene with Sam Neal? You did not I did What?

I was in a scene I was like He came in as I went out On the catering show No I love Sam Neal Not so another catering show Get cracking

But that episode was about food Which you can see why I made the mistake Fair Yeah it was weird Love it I'm like Sam Dale You just hear

It's Sam Neal's ringtone No, he's rigged a bit Life finds away He also did an episode of Sam Peterson I know And Sam Neil was in the same podcasting studio that we normally do our podcasting. That is wild

We've got to give a proper plug to San Peterson's podcast Great show, I've been on a very recent episode Called Confessions of the Idiots where Sam gets, he finds online confessions and then reads them to a couple of guests. Past guests include Sam Neal. From Jurassic Park. That's got to be enough for you to get on there.

His guests are so good. And he's got me and Dave. Have you been on there? No, I will be when we get back from the UK. He asked me to be on like the day we left. And I was like, look, I'm probably not going to make it. Sam's a very close friend of mine. He definitely knew we were going away.

Yeah. I was like, that's the day we leave. And he was like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. On that day he was messaging me saying, have a great time. So good. Can I also thank, so thanks so much Jason and Luke. I'd also love to thank from maybe a place that I'd love to visit, I think.

Circleville, Ohio. No squares allowed. Yeah, if they let me in. Kevin McCready. Kevin McCready, the champion. Oh, is he? Wow. I mean, I thought we were going to talk about.

He goes from town to town. I thought we're going to talk about his eating habits. but wow. Yeah, Dave. He's one blue ribbons from here to... He's... What's he good at eating? I can't get my head out of circus.

Oh, yeah, Coco pops. Oh, wow. That is... Oh, man, he'd get some headaches. No, but he's the champion. That's right. So he's used to it. He's built up a resistance.

Toleron. Toleron. Toleron. How do you say? No, it does not affect me. I have them. They're tolerant. Oh, I have a tolerant.

I have a tobleron. Seriously, I'm so hungry. All right. All right. Kevin McCrady, the Coco Pop's king. Yeah. King of the Popper. They call him.

They call him the Popper. He's got a lot of names. He goes about a lot of names, obviously. We're Coco Popper. Pop-I. Pop. Snap Crackle. Coco Bops.

Crockler. Coco Pops. Hey. Coco Pops. Doesn't Coco stops. Yeah, all those things. That's on a T-shirt. We've got to give him Coco props.

Yeah. Come on, do you? Hey, sorry, if you just give me a moment, I'd love to give a few kick of props. McCrady, King. King amongst men. Dave, would you like to thank some people? I would so love to thank someone. Oh, would you?

And I would like to thank. Oh, would you name? Okay. Let me have. Do you like to do the thing I offered you? Here we go. Here we go. Hey, I'm just grateful.

No, and we love that. And usually, we'd say this is down the road. But today, this is exotic, this location. Yeah, you're right. Because this is so close to where I grew up. All the way from Blackburn in Victoria. Am I saying that right? I think it's Black Barn.

Oh, Black Barn in Victoria. Australia. In Blackburn. Back when I used to live on the other side of the world. Yeah, my dad worked in Blackburn for 10 years. We have a few connections for this place on the other side of the world. So we're crazy. You should go to a cafe called Lily Loves George in Blackburn.

That's everyone. Everyone this thing should go there. She's there about to get run off the feet. and it's wonderful. Very nice. I'm going to go there. Well, the number one resident of Blackburn, Victoria is, of course, Rachel Johnson.

Rachel Johnson. I think it should be... Ritchie J. Lily loves Rachel. Wow. Johnson. And she is... What do they serve at Lily Loves George?

An extensive menu. What would be your go-to that she could eat? I had a great burger there one time. Oh, Champion burger eater. You could travel the world with that one. Yeah, definitely. There's always burger competitions at places. And you can get a burger anywhere in the world.

Name a place. If you got a door, you got a burger. That's not a place. Okay, the place you're naming is door? Yeah. Okay, you can get a burger there. Let me just name something. No, don't do it.

Hey, no, you keep talking, but for the people watching. Yeah, okay, so he's going to... I mean, we're in a place where there is like a chin-up bar that's installed in... I think it may be structurally integral to the... the doorway. Matt's aim was to get 10. He's up to four. Five.

I don't know if the camera's getting this, is it? Okay. Yeah, I'll call six, which is better than yesterday, was it? Did you get five yesterday? It's six, your max. Four and a half, yes. All right, okay, great. Well, there you go.

By tomorrow, you'll be on 10. Jess, it's your turn. Get on that bar. Fuck, no. You've seen me try. I have. And I've tried at different times of the day because I was wondering if maybe I needed energy or maybe I didn't need energy.

I did in my pajamas this morning. It did not work. This is no energy. In an attempt, an attempt so bad that it's not funny, I just feel sorry for you. Yeah, it's pretty lame. I'm so sorry. I'm a little weakling. But Rachel Johnson is the champion burger eater.

And she actually any type of burger. Really? Veggie. Beef, chicken. With a nice tomato relish. Oh, she loves a relish. Oh, I love a relish. I love relish, relish.

Fuck, I'm so hungry. Okay. Can we go get a burger? We can get anything And a Danish tart And a pie And a cocoa pop I'm so hungry

I would like to thank Now this one is exotic No matter where in the world You are except for there I meant in Melbourne This is exotic In London this is exotic I would like to thank

All the way from Windhock Which is the capital of Namibia What? In southern Africa No Absolutely true here I would like to thank I'm almost certain

Our number one Namibian supporter That's amazing. And you can forever claim this. Mary Lee. Holy cow. Thank you so much. That's awesome.

Namibia. I had no idea. And Vintock, I think that some people say, because it's actually, it was colonized by Germany. Right. So maybe a champion Bratwurst eater. Oh, okay.

Brat's first, yeah. Great. Have you visited Africa at all? I have not. It is, that's the reason I'm quite familiar with where this is, because for a long time my dream has been to go on a safari in South Africa, Namibia, Botswana, finish up in Victoria Falls. Right. Can I come? If you, honestly, I've been looking for about eight years to find someone that would go with me.

I'd be so keen. I will drive you to the airport. Thank you, sir. Because that's the reaction I get from a lot of people. No, I'll pick you up. I would have thought that to be. My girlfriend is like, no, thank you. I was going to say, you have a long-term partner.

You've travelled with a lot. I know, yes. She's not on board. Not on board with going to Africa. African safari. But Matt, if you are, let us. Safari would be amazing. And honestly, Mary Lee, if you could somehow spread the word and we could get a cult following in Namibia and we could

make this like a some part of tour, please do that. Oh, that'd be great. Then it's all tax deductible. Yeah, and I'll be able to afford it. Yeah, that would be so, so great. But thank you so much for your support. That is awesome. Genuinely, mind-blowing that you're listening there. Okay. Now, it's my turn. What was...

And she was Bratworth. Brat worst. Brat first, yeah. Yeah. There's someone about a brat-burst. With like onion and cheese. This is a vegetarian talking. Look, but, you know, I've had a laugh before. I don't believe that for a moment.

My first 14 years of my laugh. My life began when I stopped eating me. When I was a kid, there were times when I was younger, we'd have a family roast. And then at the end, Dad would be like, do you want the bones? I'd take this big bone. And I'd go in the backyard. What, like a dog?

A dog. It'd just be chewing them. Yuck! No. I hate, my boyfriend will eat, like, to the bone, and I just have to look away. I'm like, I'm glad you're having a good time, but I'm not going to be looking at you for the next five minutes.

Well, I don't do that anymore. Tofu doesn't have a bone. That's true, yeah. And if it does, take it back. Yeah, that's not tofu. I would like, it's a dog that was called tofu. I would, that's a cute dog name. That's a sweet loophole.

It is a great loophole. I'm eating tofu. I would like to thank from Milwaukee. I'm Milwaukee. I'm Milwaukee. Thank you. I was going to do that too. I was so close as well.

I'd like to thank Lee Roberts. I'm Roberts here. The Milwaukee Bucks are the NBA team. Maybe you could be eating... Money. D. Oh, yep. Bucks.

Uncle Daddy War Bucks. What you mean? He's eating the mascot. Well, yeah. I think, you know, like Australia eats the coat of arms. The kangaroo and emu is often... Yeah, why do we do that? I got to say,

Bucks are having a great season this year. Second only in the Eastern Conference to the Raptors. They've won eight. Only lost one. Impressive. Okay, but what does Lee eat? Oh, didn't we say, is he not eating? I like money.

Yeah, what about money, but it's been like dollar bills that have been paper mashade into a big buck with the antlers and everything. I love that. That's extravagant. I love that. Thank you. And I love that our two ideas. could mesh together. Like a paper mash.

And we made one mega idea. And Dave didn't help at all. Yeah, that's what I loved about as well. I love that Dave played his normal role of not helping at all. Yeah, he's not a team player. He's a tennis player. Solo tennis. Double tennis.

Doubles, go away. Leave me alone. Let me ace the court. Spoken like a true tennis player. And can, oh my God, this is a fantastic name. Can I thank the last person? Yes. From Belfast.

Northern Ireland. Oh, a beautiful part of the world. I would like to thank Seamus Duffy. Oh, Shamis Duffy. What a good. Brilliant. He's in on the Patreon Facebook group.

He's been a key contributor. Shamis, I mean, I want to say like Irish Jew. Right. You know, I'm pretty sure he's an Australian who's moved to Belfast. Well, he's clearly got Irish back. And he's clearly moved there because he loves Irish stew. With the name like Seamus Duffy, like your parents are either from Ireland or grandpa,

like you have that background. And if you don't, they obviously just really love Ireland and the Irish culture. Let's go through all the possibilities. And if one of them is, but the other isn't, then that was a nice compromise. Is it a compromise when you go, well, obviously you got a very Irish surname.

The compromise is we'll also give him a very Irish first name. Yeah, that's compromise. Middle name is Greg. Because the other one is from somewhere where accountants live. Classic accountant named Greg. Yep. So is Seamus eating Irish stew? I reckon.

But, I mean, I'm open to suggestions. Anyone got any other ideas of things Seamus could eat? No, Irish stew is good. It's delicious. Duffy, what are Duffy, like Duff beer from The Simpsons? Oh, beer drinking. Beer and stew? Oh, because it could be Guinness, Guinness.

Yeah, I was thinking Guinness stew. Guinness stew. Guinness stew? Sorry, Shamis, if that is too obvious. Sorry if you're also a vegetarian. Well, vegetarian Guinness stew. Yeah. Oh, can I have one of those?

Yeah. We are very hungry. Yeah. What a cruel game. We've played at the end. Three hungry kitties. Yeah, we should eat. Help me.

Help me eat. I think we've also. made a lot of people eat during this episode. Yeah, definitely. Probably a lot of people not eat for a while. Yeah, no, we did both because first we put them off food and then we started talking about how hungry we were and then we talked about delicious foods

and now they're hungry. If anyone is trying out the yo-yo diet, I think we're helping out a lot today. You're welcome. I don't think anyone's been eating since they've imagined someone eating blueberry pie with just their mouth. That is so yuck.

Yeah, that's the bit that's put everyone off. Yeah. Oh, so yuck. Yuck, yuck. I'm sorry about that. Yes, you should apologize. Maybe I'll beep out that whole section. It'll be four minutes of b'i!

I think that brings us to the end of the show. And what an end? By the way, my favourite, you know Al said from the two-on-the-think town podcast? Yes. He calls blueberries blobs. Yeah. Look at that. Blubes.

I like that. And I like blobs. Incredible. Yeah, it's one of the best. At everything, and I'm not even vaguely surprised that he calls them something so whimsical and delightful as blobs. I also call them blobs. Yeah. You too have so much in common.

I'm pretty sure he coined that. Wow. I will thank him. I'm going to message him now. I reckon they come up with five sketch ideas every week. He's very creative. Yeah. Surely he coined blobs. Yeah. Blobs.

Well... I'm pretty sure I coined totes. You coined coats. I'm toining here. Hungry. We can tell. All right, we've got to wrap this up. But thank you so much for everyone that listens to the show.

First of all, if you want to support the Patreon, you can obviously do that. But if you don't have any money or you don't have any money. or you know that kind of thing another way of support the show is of course to share it around yeah tell people about it tell people about it tell people about it tweet about it someone actually came to our love show in Melbourne and they came because their friend got their phone um and just and downloaded a podcast app because they'd never listen to a podcast before and subscribe to our podcast and now they've almost listened to all our episodes wow they weren't yeah that was just because of so do that steal your friend's phones um download something without their permission uh sorry yeah no i didn't

You're not. That is highly illegal. I think you should do it. Honestly. But no, that would be a cool thing if you could, you know, in the dark of night. Or if you've already done that, another way you can do it is, of course, give us a review on the old iTunes. It's so nice. Helps us be more visible. We also have a couple of other podcasts in our MidiPod network now.

Dave's podcast has gone super strong. Oh yeah, book cheat. A new episode just dropped this week with special guests. Josh Earl from Don't You Know Who I am. one of my favorite planet broadcasting podcast. And Laura Dunnaman, one of my favorite Melbourne stand-ups. So funny. And we talked about the book of mice and men, the John Steinbeck classic.

Studied it at school. You did? Yep. It also did the Megadeth song of Mice and Men come up at all? It did not come up. The best laid plans of Mice and Men, sometimes are often go awry. Sometimes? Often go awry.

Yes, or the original wording in the Scottish dialect, because that's a quote from Robert Burns, Bobby Burns the poet. Did you have to write that in your essays? I'm sure, yeah. Well done. You remember it all these years later. Okay, I'm still super young, thank you.

Yeah, yeah. How do you remember it from last century, practically? But yeah, check that out. And of course, Primates, Matt. Primates has been so much fun lately. Last week's episode with Ben Russell and Stu Dolman, I reckon it's one of the funniest we've done. It was about a David Attenborough documentary,

and both of them are great impersonators and improvise. So there's a lot of funny tangents about David Attenborough getting up into different things. Michael Kane made quite a few appearances as well. Quite a few. And this week's episode, we're going to record soon, probably record tomorrow, and we'll come out tomorrow's with you two. First time, all three of us are going to be on the primates podcast, which is exciting. It's going to feel so different.

It's going to be a very different thing. To now. Hey, when we do that tomorrow, let's make sure we've eaten beforehand. Yeah, great call. And maybe I'll have a second. coffee. We're going to, we'll eat during the movie that we watch. Oh, yes.

Oh, I like that. See, this is why, I made this podcast to be more fun than do go on, which is like, the nerds. Oh, we're learning and reading. Primates is all about being idiots. Yeah, I had the same thing for a book cheater. I was like, I don't want to do any reading, so, oh, hang on. It's all kind of horribly wrong.

Oh, no, I've done the opposite of what I wanted to do. No, but you do, you will learn a lot about primates and how they're. They are beautiful animals and, you know, we can learn so much. All creatures, great and smell. And humans are also primates, and that's something. What? Yeah, I'm so sorry. Can we have a loophole and just watch Die Hard?

Yeah. Great. Awesome. There's heaps of primates in that film. All of the people are. Like the guy, the dad from the Steve Erkel show, who's a cop in that. Oh, he's so good in that. And the guy from Bruce Willis's life.

Yipikai. Yeah, Bruce Willis. Willis. Motherfucker. Also, the guy who we did a podcast about that time. Bruce Willis. Rick Alkman. Alkman?

Alan Rickman. Yes. It's a great film. That's what we're saying. Anyway, we've got to go. Great Christmas film. Best Christmas film ever. Get in contact anytime.

Do go onpod.com. It's our website and you can submit a topic. You can go to the Patreon, see any upcoming live shows. And of course, do go on pod on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, all that stuff. And YouTube, if you might be watching it. it here now. If you want to see us sit at a table for the last hour and a half, you can check this out on YouTube.com. I'm sorry. Slash Degornpot.

Sorry for everything you've seen. All right. Well, until next time when we'll be in Edinburgh in Scotland, going to be a great time up there. But thanks for listening and I will say goodbye. Later. Later. Bye. I'm hungry. Jet lag.

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