Two In The Think Tank - 162 - Unbelievable Urban Legends

Episode Date: November 28, 2018

For our final show on our UK tour, we went out with a real bloody bang! Three mini reports on freaky / spooky / weird / unbelivable urban legends plus a lot of tangents and a lot of laughs!Hear the horrible tales of The Flatwoods Monster, The Highgate Vampire and Pluckley, the most haunted village in England.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail]: https://www.british-paranormal.co.uk/the-highgate-vampire-london/https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/564244/Highgate-Vampire-London-UK-panic-horror-ghost-paranormal-sightings-Draculahttp://www.real-british-ghosts.com/highgate-vampire.html https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highgate_Vampire https://mysterioustimes.wordpress.com/2014/03/27/the-highgate-vampire-an-exercise-in-deception/PLUCKLEY REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/news/68980/britains-most-haunted-village/https://www.kentlive.news/whats-on/whats-on-news/pluckley-most-haunted-village-britain-549420https://www.hauntedrooms.co.uk/pluckley-village-kenthttps://explorekent.org/activities/pluckley-walk/https://www.kentonline.co.uk/ashford/news/is-pluckley-really-haunted-134511/https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/europe/uk/3278642/Pluckley-the-most-haunted-village-in-England.html

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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You could start your new career in months,Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On! Dave Wonicky here in the World of Things. I'm Dave and I'm going to be doing a great job with my new career. I'm going to be doing a great job

with my new career. I'm going to be doing a great job with my new career. I'm going to be doing a great job with my new network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go On. Dave Wanuki here and I am here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Dave Wanuki here. Dave Wanuki here and I'm here. That's our thought he was going really well until he doubled up on here. No, he was purposely changing up because I was fucking around and I was gonna jump in and talk over him and he did an old switch Perkins. That was nice. How about Dave Honkey here? And I find myself in a room with Jess Perkins and Mansjil. That's what a pro would have said It also kind of feels like you just stumbled into this room and here we are

Yeah, good. Don't give away our location. We just did. He said we're in a room. Shh. That's enough. OK. Hey, welcome to the show everybody.

Jess has lost her little marbles, and she's going to find them during the show. Hopefully, while you're listening to the live show, she will have found and will update you on that later. But it is a live episode. the show hopefully while you're listening to the live show, Shoe LaFan, and we'll update you on that later. But it is a live episode. We're going to throw it to in a second. Is that right, Dave? That is right. This is our last episode that we recorded in the UK on our tour. It was our biggest show yet in London. So thank you so much, everyone, that came to that one. It was the second show we'd done in that day Yeah, I was worried that we'd never done two shows or two reports in one day before and I

Think we did a good job. It was really fun. We did really well I set up a camera that day. So there's if you go to our YouTube channel Sometimes soonish there'll be a video of that and a few of the other live episodes we've put up recently There's videos of them, just single shots. It's not super exciting to watch, but it's something if you want to look, I don't know why I'm being defensive to you. I mean, we bought a camera. It can shoot in 4K.

It can. It can. I don't know if it did, but it can. It did. And then obviously, I'm not uploading them to YouTube in 4K, but you can just just know that at one one point that footage was in 4K. I'm not entirely sure what 4K means. Don't follow up with any questions. Is it $4,000?

Yes. Ooh! But YouTube doesn't accept dollars. No, they're because they work in the non-metric system. Classic YouTube. But so you can find us on youtube.com slash dogoon and that is... Do go on pod. Bloody hell. Do us on youtube.com slash do go on and that is Bloody hell do go on pod and that is also

What we are on Twitter Facebook and Instagram do go on pod Do geo oh n POD and our email do go on pod at gmail.com So if you want to you should find us on all those things also be real cool I don't know I'm spilling right now, but if you do have a, it'd be so cool if you could give us a 5 star review on iTunes or whatever. Is that right Dave? Yeah, especially whatever, because that is a key to success. That's where the big wigs of big pod actually look. Yeah, they're over iTunes. They're into the whatever. Yeah. And if you are, I mean, if you're into it, and if you are a pod lover, which you may well be,

Dave Warnock, he does a great new podcast called Bookcheat. It's kind of like do you go on only for books, classic books where he'll do a report, a book report on a classic novel, and it comes out fortnightly, and it's really bloody funny, just an hour of being on episodes before. Dave's read the book so that you don't have to.

Yeah, that's true. That's my tagline. That's great tagline. I'm glad it's getting out there. Yeah. I've got that tattooed on my butt. Oh wow. I also do a podcast weekly called Prime Mates and it's all about primates and popular culture.

It sounds bloody stupid, but it's just a lot of fun. It's so much fun. It's just a lot of fun. It's a great reason for funny people to hang out together. And what's your catch phrase? We're going through primates and popular culture from Chimene all the way down to Chimpanzee. And you know where that's tattooed? It's on my butt.

Yeah! It's in real small print on that tiny tush. The last three episodes featured you two as guests. Yeah, because we were trapped with you. Yeah. So we had trapped with you. Yeah. So we had to do it. We recorded a model traveling. So if you want to check that out, it's across social media and stuff as Prime, PRI,

ME, mates, M-A-T, yes. Pod, P-O-D. I was really having you going to tell us how to spell pod. And Dave's book cheat pod on social media. That's right. And that's spelled exactly how you think it should be. Yeah, which would be real smart. Thinking back to it, having to explain a bad pun every time. Anyway, probably. So it happens when you're the pun king. Yeah, that's true. Can't, you know, up here on my throne, can't help myself. Anyway, we should probably get into the show before we do. I should plug one last thing. I'm so sorry, everybody, but I am doing a new stand-up show

next year across Australia. We're going to Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane, Melbourne. It's called Bone Dry. Tickets are already on sale for Perth, and there's an early bird discount Perth and there's an early bird discount code do go on for do go on listener so please go get your tickets early I'm only there for I think five nights from Feb 12th only five nights so you better Hurry up and get those tickets because they will go And you will feel like an idiot if you don't get tickets. And then you're like, oh, maybe I'll just see what it's like close to two,

see what I feel like doing. And then you just try to like rock up on the night and get a ticket like, ah, how long? I mean, I've already bought a ticket and I'm not even sure if I'm gonna be in the city that time. I find it's got support back. You can find more details at mattstjewittcomedy.com slash gigs.

And it'd be real cool to see there. Thanks so much for that. I'm just really proud of you. And I just support you. And I want other people to see you art. And yes, it is art. It is art. Dave Warnock is directing the show. So you know it's going to be art. That's what I thought. Just so proud of both of you.

I wish what people to see your collective art. Thank you so much. Anyway, we should get into the show because it is a real crack and, buddy, it's a cracker-lacking. It's a banger. It's lack and crack. It's not lack and any crack.

It's full of crack. It's crack up to the bloody nines. It's lack and crack. It's not lack and any crack. It's full of crack. It's crack it crack up to the bloody Nons crack city. Yeah, don't worry about that turn the crack down all the way up to a lot of crack. Yeah, which is the highest Bit you could do. Yeah, they're always like don't turn it all the way up, but we did Yeah, we have to break some glass to do it We did! It's dangerous. We had to break some glass to do it. Crack glass. Crack, crack, all right. Let's throw it into the show.

Well, enjoy this little nugget of podcast called Live in London. The DoGo on Podcast was the first ever podcast by my understanding. When Matt first asked me to talk about how important the DoGo on Podcast was, I said, yeah, all right. I don't listen to podcasts. But you, K, what the hell's that? I was always calling it the Yuck, the Yuck. What am I talking about? I don't know if you've never traveled before. We just get a plane, get a jet, get a train. But you know what, I'm not scared of submarines.

They can't kill you if it's hard to kill someone else. What I'm saying? I'm not scared of submarines. I'm not scared of submarines. I'm not scared of submarines. I'm but you know what I'm about to get of submarines. They can't kill you if it's hard to kill someone else, what I'm saying! Matt, Jess and Chris from the Dugo1 podcast are some of the most intelligent people you will ever meet and they have changed podcasting for the better. casting for the better. I'm gonna do any sound you like. I like, uh, here's the sound of like a ship.

No, no, don't do it. The machine, let me do it. Ready? Here's the sound of a ship. No, but me do it. Here's the sound of a ship. But me do it. Is the sound of a ship. HAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH serial season three. Oh, fuck off. Give me a dude go on episode whatever the fuck they're up to. I don't want to participate in this.

You're going to make me sound like an idiot. I know you're going to do something stupid. I'm going to look like an idiot, an idiot, an idiot, an idiot, an idiot, an idiot, an idiot, an idiot, an idiot. All like an idiot, an idiot, an idiot, an idiot, an idiot, an idiot, an idiot, an idiot, an idiot. Hello, but that is Mark O'Kat. And to do go on podcast. It's the greatest podcast that anyone has ever done.

Let me list for you the greatest podcasts of all time. Serial. This American one. And now it's time to welcome to the stage. The cast of the Doo Go on Podcast. Matt, Jess and Dave. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, except for do-go-on, you could probably skip that one.

I do not sanction their buffoonery. Hello London! How you doing out there? Well, that is alright isn't it? I thank you so much for coming out. My name is Dave Horn. He welcome to another episode of Do Go One. And I'm joined on stage by two of the greatest people ever. And some of us should have just spoken.

Hello. Hello. Yeah. How are we? Look at the ants down there. Hello! Hello! Yeah! How high away! Look at the ants down there! Wow, suckers! This is like real theater!

And what do you think real theater is? It's this! And for four hours! Ellie, today we did a show on a pub! Now look at us. All the way up here. Yeah, I was just trying to just try. Uh, no, sorry. Come, just try.

We're just so far above you. Ah, sorry. This is very cool though. Thank you so much for coming out. You have your good nights, something nice? Woo! Is it Sunday? Yeah, I know what that is whatever. No, where to brag?

I also like that we have this enormous stage and our chairs could not be much closer That's how we like it. We like to be nice and close and cozy, right Matt? Big time. Yeah, you're about to move away Yeah, we love to be real cozy. Look at the over here. That feels all right. All right, well, what's the problem with the show? We're going to do it like this.

Never done this before, but that's all right. I'm going to go over here now. You'll be on the face. You're on the face. You're right, Pat. That was good. You. Oh, I nearly spilled my drink.

That would have been fun. All right, this is the show. We... Can I have a here? He's Mark. Behind a curtain. Wanted to say hidden. HMM.

Thought I'd point him out instead. Look, it's been a long tour and we're probably still a little jet lagged and tired and... That's your excuse for everything. And I will continue, is it? Well, I need to have him jet lagged. That was two and a half weeks ago. That's why. for everything and I will continue Well, I need to nap him jetlag that was two and a half weeks ago that's why yeah, well I'm tired I'm a tired girl anyway Dave explain things. Oh, I've been asking our way around in different cities I'm like oh what does the audience want the show to be right because we can do really whatever you like I think where where do they they it? A strip show in Bristol. And we delivered that.

Hey, we give you what you want. But we have already done that. So we need, what do you want? What do you want, man? What did you say? Two hours of songs. Can do. He just wants to play Siralax. Two albums, two albums. Two albums, two albums. Two albums, two albums. Two albums, two albums. Two albums, two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Two albums. Ladies and gentlemen, give me a round of applause if you've ever heard our show before

Most people maybe That is An enormous relief. Well, that is Generally very nice, but I also always like to give a shout out to the people that have never heard the show before So don't be shy give me a round of applause and cheer now if you've never heard the podcast before I love you word and you're all right, everyone else is doing it. Yeah, not. You didn't want to be the only one. Oh, thanks so much for coming out.

When you were told it was a podcast, you didn't think it would look like this, did you? Yeah. The people come to this thing? Like, goodness. Thank you so much for the people that did come. Thank you. Which is you? Yeah.

This is also the biggest show we've ever done. So thank you so much for coming out to it. It would have obviously been rough without you guys Still would have been the biggest room I guess Yeah, we claim that yeah, I podcast you at home is very small. So this just would have been nice I still probably would have done that bit about you know being over being over there, and then going over there, bit of fun. You guys remember that? That was fun. I remember.

So, your grandkids were like, What's the list of our top three favorite things that have happened so far? Nearly spilling my drink. Now, a couple of people that haven't heard the show before, basically what we do is we usually do a report on a topic one of us does, suggested by a listener most of the time,

and the other two people don't know what the topic's going to be. But a few shows on this tour, we have been picking a theme and then all doing a mini report on that topic, so we still don't know what the other people have chosen. And today Matt, what is the topic that the three of us will be reporting on?

We put this up for a vote on Patreon. What mini topic umbrella report would they like? Fuck. It's amazing that they had an answer for that weird question, but what topic umbrella report? I can't wait to get sentenced and just shut their computer. It ended up being urban mysteries and myths and legends, which is a bit of fun. Hopefully.

Is that right? Did I say that right? I mean, in Apple Park, sure. Can I just call it Urban Myths? Sure. You have no Urban Myths tonight? All right, let's get with Urban Myths. I'm happy with that.

That's not what it's Urban Legends, isn't it? Fuck. Anyway, whatever. I don't care. As long as it's the difference. That's the main thing. What's the difference between those two? Well, I'm so glad you asked.

I'll fill this one. You'll fill the question I asked you. Myths? Myths aren't true and legends could be? That sounds about right. End of report. Thank you so much. Oh, that's Matt Dunn.

I'm just. Well, I'm going to kick things off today with my report. And for those of you who haven't seen or heard the show before, we always start with a question to get us onto topics. I'll ask the boys, and then I'll throw it over to you guys as well. So my question is, I wrote a question. Thank you so much. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I usually forget. Oh, well, the people that haven't heard the show are like, wow, they're really doing anything. We're doing anything. I wrote a question. Yeah! Yeah! Now, I deserved that.

Which US town went into a panic because of a story from three teenage boys? Oh. I made it a really vague, stupid question. It's not Gary, Indiana, is it? Oh, man, imagine. But no. Is it something that we would have any chance of knowing? Nah.

Because we've had a Salem go to a panic from young women. Well, that's not the question, is it Dave? Peezer, you know when you don't know something, but you still want everyone to know you're smart. Yeah And I think you'll find the capital of Ecuador is keto so That's true Stop it why would that not be true? true? You chose from any facts in the world. Why would you have chosen an incorrect?

Anyway, that's... We can fight about this later. Does anybody in the audience have an idea? Why don't you? Not why I mean? Has anybody heard of flatwoods? No. You took a fucking pole, did you? I don't feel this one.

No. Unbelievable. But it's still... I speak for the people. What about our Wyoming friend? Have you heard of flatly? To be fair, we cannot see shit. Why I'm in friend. Did you hurt have you heard of flatly? To be fair we cannot see shit. Yeah, we're looking in a general area

Okay, three people down from you. Yeah, no, oh, I'm on the defensive early. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Welcome. Thank you so much Sunshine and rainbow. Sorry You do have an American accent though, do you? Yeah. I'm not from the States though. Oh, fast. So where are you from? Where are you from?

What? You bloody trickster. You just have a heart attack and he's old. That's dangerous. Don't mess with my heart. I did enjoy the know before because I do love that accent. They could reject me like that any day. I'll be like, so bloody. So bloody nice to be here.

Thank you. No. No. So good. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Thank you for answering on behalf of everyone. There's only 300 of you. So good that you could whip around so quickly. So this is flatly. She was right, though, in her defense. It was a no. Yeah. It could be somebody out there very quietly, like, actually, I have. But now I'm not going to pipe up, because Jess will yell at me.

Again, sorry and welcome. So this story is about an entity, that's a fun word, reported to have been cited in the town of Flatwoods in Braxton County, West Virginia in the US on September 12th, 1952. It's really hard not to sing now. I love that you hesitated and then we're like, fuck it, I'm going for it. Follow you got yes. Um, two brothers by the name of Edward and Fred May. Oh, Ed and Fred. Their parents were not creative.

What? No, that's very creative. Ed and Fred. Well, you come up with two other names that rhyme. Good luck. Matt and Pat. I came up with that. Could you tell that wasn't me that said it? I can't believe that stumped you. No, I was like a comedy star, but I was joking. I guess I can totally think of this now, names.

Ed and Fred and their friend Tommy, said they saw a bright object cross the sky and land on the property of a local farmer. The boys went to the home of Kathleen May. I'm presuming that's their mum, because their name's Edward and Fred May. And less, there's multiple may families in the town, which is unlikely, so let's assume it's their mum.

I'm happy to go with you on this one. You're happy too? Thank you so much. So they told their mum this story, and she went with the three boys, plus two other kids they picked up along the way. By the name of Neil Nung Lee, that's good. And Ronnie Shaver, less good. Well, this is like a sort of secret agent, Ronnie Shaver. Really? Yeah. That's your secret agent name.

Ronnie Shaver. Any cool name when you go for Ronnie Shaver. Yeah. Hello, I'm Ronnie Shaver. So sorry. Sounds to me like a fake name. You're in the bathroom, you're on the phone. I've got a friend.

Ronnie. Ronnie Gillette. Alright. So the group of them go and they've also got a national guard by the name of Eugene Lemon. They are making up these guys. I've got heaps of friends, fruitball and... Stin applied.

When you get dinner plate on the saw, that guy fucking goes off. He is crazy. So they get this national guard Eugene Lemon and they went to the farm in an effort to locate whatever it was that the boys said they'd seen. The group reached the top of a hill where Neil said, hey, saw, hey, saw. He said, hey, saw, hey, saw. Oh, I mean, is this some sort of catch, crazy, trying to get off the ground? Hey, saw, hey, saw, am I right? Oh, I mean, is this some sort of catchphrase he's trying to get off the ground? Yeah.

Hey, sir, hey, sir, am I right? It was like, shut up, Neil! Shut up. He's like, guys, I'm going to come up with a big names for himself. It's like, hey, guys, call me Jaguar. I had a guy in school call himself Maverick. Hey, I'm Maverick. No, you're not.

Yeah, I did not catch. Oh, I'm pretty sure, oh, I've just spoken out this on the podcast before on your Adder. I tried to, for a a week get people to call me Cobra And to this day I am not called So feel free to try and get that happening out there. It's definitely worth a try Cobra cobra how cool does that sound how much is it not suit you? Maybe earthworm better imagine me

I was a good yeah field mouse Maybe, Earthworm. Bit of a measure, me. How's it going to get? Field mouse. I was a lot tougher in year-rakes. Ow! Don't it, now. Really slim down. Earthworm. That should catch on.

No. Don't, come on, put the phones away. Hashtag, cobra. Hashtag, Cobra. Hashtag Earthworm. OK. Um, I mean, Earthworm is just a shit cobra. Fuck. My point, exactly.

Fuck. You're a shit cobra. You think an Earthworm is a shit cobra? I mean, you're very good at geography, biology. Less so. not your strength. Gave her own, the capital of Botswana. I got it. No, no, no.

Alright, so Neil said that he saw a pulsing red light. And Lemon said he aimed a flashlight in that direction and momentarily saw a tall man-like figure with a round red face surrounded by a pointed hood-like shape. Other people also claimed to have seen this creature over the years so this is when it sort of started and then it kind of grew from there. Although the description of this creature varied quite a lot. Kathleen may describe the figure as having small claw-like hands, clothing-like folds, and a head that resembled the ace of spades.

Which bit? The A. The symbol, yeah. They could have chosen? A. They could have chosen any A. I know the A, you suspect. They know their typography. It's so strong. Yeah. It was a UFO writer, sounds like the type of person you want at your dinner party.

Gray Barker, making out names. And he described the figure as approximately 10 feet tall with a round blood red face, a large pointed hood-like shape around the face that kind of matches up. I like shapes, so you could call them eyes. Has some kind of eye-like shape? Shaped a bit like an eye, where eyes would be. If only there was a word for it. And these eye-like shapes emitted greenish orange light.

What color is that? Greenish orange. Greenish orange. Grorange. I think. No, yep, you're right. I just forgot momentarily. And I had a dark black or green body. And the groups that they smelled a pungent mist. And some Neil come. Which is also a smell called Groringe. Pungent. Some of them also said that they later felt quite nauseated.

Local sheriff and a deputy had been investigating reports of a crashed aircraft in the area and they searched the site of the reported monster but saw, heard and smelled nothing. Which is a normal part of a police report. It is a smell section. Always right at them. Yeah. Wicclier. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha I guess it's definitely the one of the boys farted and blamed the monster. Oh, shut them up. I want to do it. I smell a monster.

Definitely, shut him so. The next day, a reporter from the Braxton Democrat, a reporter called A. Lee Stewart, Jr. Too many things happening in that name, came to discover Skidmarks. Nail? Hmm. came to discover skid marks. Nail? Hmm. And an odd gummy deposit.

Nail! Nail, what were you eating last night? That sounds like a dietary issue. Nail-led issues. Which were subsequently attributed by UFO enthusiast groups as evidence of a saucer landing skid marks. Obviously they have wheels.

There was a bit of a media frenzy around this story as well, because it was the 50s. And according to former news editor, Holt Burn, now we're talking. Newspaper stories were carried throughout the country. Radio broadcasts were carried on large networks. And hundreds of phone calls were received from all parts of the country. The National Press Service rated the story number 11 of that year. So it was a pretty big... Oh, top 11. That's impressive.

Alright, we would kill to be number 11. That's impressive. All right mate, we would kill to be number 11. Come on. It sounds like it continued to just be an urban legend around the area from then on. Until in 2000, when Joe Nichol of the Committee for Sceptical Inquiry or CSI. LAUGHTER Decided to investigate the case. He concluded that the bright light in the sky reported by witnesses on that fateful day was most likely

a meteor. But the pulsating red lights were likely an aircraft navigation or hazard beacon, and he suggested that witnesses perceptions were distorted by their heightened state of anxiety Nichols conclusion conclusions are shared by a number of other investigators including those of the Air Force, but that's what they want you to think. Yes But this was backed up by the fact that the night of September 12 a meteor had been observed across three different states in America, including West Virginia.

So that's probably what it was. And he also concluded that the shape, movement and sounds reported by witnesses were also consistent with the silhouette, flight pattern and call of a startled barn owl. They do have eye-like shapes. Yes. Think about it. But could he explain the smell? Nail.

The owl shatters. Nail is really clutching its rules. Witnesses have also described the monster to be wearing a green pleated skirt. Apparently no one thought was odd. Well that's consistent with any owl that I know. Well researchers believe this is probably just foliage underneath the owl. Because it was probably perched on a branch as owls do.

So that's good. Researchers also concluded that the witnesses inability to agree on whether the creature had arms Combined with Kathleen May's report about having small claw-like hands, which extended it extended in front of it Also matched the description of a bar now What with its talons gripping a branch. Oh Mmm Now these days locals seem to be quite proud of their monster.

They've put up a welcome to flatwood slash home of the green monster sign on the route leading into the town. And in celebration of the legend, the Braxton City Convention and Visitors Bureau built a series of five tall chairs in the shape of the monster to serve as landmarks and visitor attractions. They're really fucking creepy. Why? Cheers. A great question, Dave.

Why not just make a model of the... Yep. West Virginia. The town of Flatwood also houses a museum dedicated to the monster. Is that Neil's backyard? It smells because of the monster. Neil still has issues, and he's never looked into it. God, I hope.

And they also have promotional merchandise at this museum, and I really hope they have magnets. Because I want one. The monster legend is celebrated every year when the town of Flatwood's holds its annual festival called Flatwood's Day. The three day festival is a weekend of live music, food and craft.

That, wait, none of that mentioned the owl. No. Or, other thing you were talking about. Or monster. I blinked with both eyes. Kind of what blinking is isn't it? You blinked with both eyes. Very good. With my eye-like shapes. And finally just a little fun fact. Does anybody a fan of the game fall out 76? No, it's not. No, it's not. It's not sucked in, nerds. Dave, you were practicing your flossing before?

Is that that related? Oh, it's not related. I'm living before. It's flossing. Good to know in game. I don't know. What a time to find out. I just think they're probably the two hack jokes about kids today and I thought they were

from the same thing. Yeah, that does show your age, doesn't it? That makes sense, they're not connected? No. Just fortnight the other game. And what did you say? Fall out. Very different things.

Very different things. Very different things. One of them's cool. Which one? Who fucking knows? All I was gonna say is at the most time. I forgot to say I was not. Ah, for fuck's sake. I was not crossing backstage.

I cannot have that on Cobra's reputation. That would really ruin things for me. I don't know how. I don't know how. I don't know how! I honestly don't know... Oh my god! Thank you! Thank you!

The first person to ever be arrested for flossing! Yeah, Dave was flossing up against me at back and it was... No good. I did not hear you complaining. It was very uncomfortable. Look, all I was going to say is that the monster is in the game. That was not worth coming back to. That is my report on the Flatwoods Monster.

Yes, back in! Yes, back in! APPLAUSE So what... What... Now I can relax. What are the two games? Your mum's butt. Okay.

The fun time for all. Chess. What is... So, anyway, I'll ask you later. It's not, yeah. You can't get to a friend. Have I not bought video games? Yeah.

And one of them has flossing, and the out. Oh, it doesn't matter. There are people in here who are like, I'm equally baffled, right? Surely. Let's list the games that don't feature flossing. Monopoly. I'll be quicker for you.

It was my favorite bit, because I get to watch Matt type in his password. It's come, diddley, to watch Matt type in his password. It's come diddly come come Come come see You Now you're trying to do the actual password while I'm spelling you can't do both at once All right who wants to hear my report Well you're in for a bloody treat.

I've choked for a second there. I was genuine panic. I was like, oh, a little boy! He's alright. He's so cute. My question is, did you guys come in late? You can find seats, maybe if you want to, or hang at the back. That's cool. I don't need to talk to you.

I guess, whatever. I'm just going to do this report, chat later. Have you ever played Fallout? Matt's got questions. What is it? Is one of them cowboys? Oh my god. This video is a genuine question.

That's not a joke question. My friends do some of these things, I don't know. They do some, they play games. Yeah. Okay. Any game ahead, dude? You are frequently on a show about games. Yes, yes, it is game-a-game-a-game,

you fucking legend, alright. I'm gonna call Evan later. That's for me and that one person, alright. So, here's my question to get on my topic, an even better topic than before. If you thought that was a topic then wait till you hear. My question is, what kind of mythical creature is said to haunt the high-gate cemetery in London? One mile from where we are staying.

You were there when I realised that last night. Yeah, you got spooked because it was 1am. And then you said, do you want to go? You were there when I realised that last night. Yeah, you got spooked. Because it was 1am. And then you said, do you want to go? And I said, now? And you said, here now. There's a fun chat we had. Jess had talked me into bed about two hours early.

He is not joking. She literally took me into bed last night. That was a great bit. That was a great bit. She's never off. She's never off. I was wearing jeans and I was like, can I take them off? She's like, just go with it. So I slept in pants last night. Jeans, you call pants under pants. Is this correct? So you weren't wearing pants but you were wearing jeans.

Free ball in every day! Tell me, little lives. Someone else we realize today, your son vinegar chips or crisps. This is not a ring grain packets. That's very normal! That has like really sent me off. I know there are Aussies in the crowd.

That's fucked, isn't it? That's fucked. Green is chicken! Thank you. You're so obvious. Obviously. If you think chicken, Green is chicken! Thank you! You're eating chicken! Obviously! Obviously! If you think chicken, you think green! And even with a few Australians in the crowd, we are so outnumbered! So you're right, we're wrong.

Prawn cocktails are normal flavour. The fuck is wrong with this place? I personally like a bit of cheese and onion. There is, I mean, the queen lives in this country, and you're getting about a grain... ...soul vinegar? It's not right. Honestly. Anyway, that's what we hear to talk about.

Crisps. And you call them crisps. I actually think you'reisps. And you're calling crisps. I actually think you're crisps for a bit of our crisps. Your kettle chips are incredible. Do you see any of that? You dirty fucking traitor. I also love the chips from PrEP. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Yeah, Greg., Greg's. Dick Greg's even chip. I had to eat a fucking pratt- pratt- pratt- a manger. Tonight, because of this pratt head, I felt disgusting. Look at this beautiful still water from Pratt. Anyway.

Did I try to sell it? I had a toasted sandwich. Why are we still talking about this? And I've also got a pack of crisps from Brett to eat after the show, so... I always wanted to buy Brett, no, but we should be. The amount of times I brought it up so far on this tour is pretty crazy. Did you have an answer for my question? I have forgotten. A dragon.

It's not a dragon. A witch. It's not a witch. Give you another block. Another monk. No. Do anyone here know this character? It's not a mole people.

It's an individual. You guys don't know the high-gate vampire? Woo! Oh! Now I'm listening. Dave loves Twilight. So good. The shiny people or whatever.

Are you team one of them or team the other one? Yeah, I'm on team number one. Yeah. Good choice. Whichever one that is good choice team Eric Sarah, I'm on team prawn cocktail Yeah, there's something wrong with you But thank you for having us

Sorry for getting at you The year you say not sorry hang on for a year? I'm sorry. Hang on, alright. Yeah, I'm done. You can go. So I didn't know you were still doing a very fun bit there. Thank you so much. The year was 1969. Oh, good. Yeah.

Alander Noem. Nice. Nice. Nice. We just booked in our seats for the return flight home and guess who checked us into rose sixteen oh Both flights both flights. Oh, I was happy with that. It's gonna be funny both times Yeah, and the best part is behind that is the rose 70 is the unaccompanied minors row So we'll be like ah

That'll be so good. No, we won't. We would definitely not be doing that. It's just three grown adults getting on a pital gang. Oh, that was fun. We're the worst. The year was 1969. A Londoner with an interest in the unexplained named David Ferrant, or something like that, wrote to local newspaper, the Hampstead and Highgate Express.

Am I saying Hampstead? Hampstead. Thank you. I'm so glad that had. I mean, I'm just riding it like you've fucking written it. It's weird that the English can't speak their own language, anyway.

The hamsteed? Is that not? Oh, fuck, you know. I mean, we are literally saying in hamste these. He wrote to the local newspaper, I forgot that again. LAUGHTER It's like homestead.

Take out the A. It's like a homestead. The hamstead and high-gate express. In his letter, he spoke of saying a tall grey spooky figure in the high-gate cemetery when he was passing through on Christmas Eve, 1969. Classic Christmas Eve activity that. You guys all pop down of the cemetery on your way home from... Church, yes. I find the word spooky pretty funny, because I know it's supposed to be scary, but it sounds... it's like... you know? Spooky. Fuck off.

Yeah, you just, you just wait. No, no. The letter was published in February, the following year. And in it, Ferrant, or Ferrant, asked if any readers had experienced the similar thing. In the following week's publication, Ferrant received multiple replies. These replies described a bunch of different ghosts

and mysterious figures that write us at scene haunting the cemetery and surrounds, including a ghost cyclist, a ghost tall man in a hat, a ghost woman dressed in white, and a ghost swimming in the pond. That's true. They're all described differently and there was hardly any overlap in the different descriptions. So people like, I don't know if they're talking about the same one, but there's a lot of

ghosts. Maybe all these people are just seeing a very active ghost. A two weeks later, the newspaper published an interview with another man named Sean Manchester. He believed that he could elaborate on the mysterious Gray Man's identity and in an article headline does a vampire. They've written, I mean the 60s they wrote vampire, different I guess. Does a vampire walk in highgate? Question mark.

That's how Matt asks questions. He wasn't, even though Australians go up at the end of the sentence anyway, Matt was never taught that, and so he just says a question and finishes it with question mark. But we love him anyway, and thank you for accepting him. I can hear all of this. Talking like I'm not in the bloody room. Manchester spoke of a medieval nobleman who he believed to be buried at highgate cemetery.

This nobleman, Manchester explained, was a master of black magic when he was alive. And that he believed he had recently been resurrected by a satanist and was now prowling the area at night. And swimming in the pond. And cycling and dressing up as a woman. And so on.

And so on. And so on. And so on. And so on. And so on. And so on. And so on. And so on.

And so on. And so on. And so on. And so on. And so on. I was obviously getting some traction with the newspaper's readership as they continued to cover it over the coming weeks. According to the website, Britishparanormal.co.uk On March the 6th, 1970, the Hampstead... Oh my god. You did it. Poor, my heart is racing. The Hampstead and Hygate Express published an article stating that David Ferrant had found a number of dead foxes in high-gate cemetery whilst exploring there.

Sean Manchester elaborated further by suggesting that these animals had been used as a food source for the vampire that inhabited their cemetery. It's just a little... It's losing momentum there and it started getting the wobbles. Soon it was alleged that the foxes were discovered with their throat slashed open and drained of all blood. Vamp... Vamp? Vamp? Vamp? Vamp? Vamp? Yeah, the vampires. Oh, that's a good name for the group that comes in soon. Let's call them the vampires. All right.

Vampire Mania started reaching fever pitch with even the mainstream media getting on board. ITV, which is one of the big English TV channels, did you know that? They broadcast a feature about the vampire on location at the cemetery. It was broadcast in prime time on Friday the 13th of March that Ferrant would be returning after dark to find and behead the vampire. Behead. Behead.

I'm going to behead. And he went in there, put a big vampire head on, and being head, it's confusing, but that is apparently what he meant. The broadcast led to a crowd forming outside the cemetery. Some were curious for a bit of a gander and others were there with a sudden embitterialingo, others were there with weapons ready to take down the vampire single-handedly. But there's a lot of them.

Many handedly. Police were on the scene but were outnumbered and many members of the public were able to scale the walls into the cemetery. Perhaps due to the police and the crowd, Farrant never arrived and no one was able to find any sign of the vampire. Right. Oh. Is that spook? Isn't it sometimes spookier when you can't see it? But you can feel it. Yeah, yeah. Spook here. The television coverage only led to Morpharant. Did you get his own show? Is that what you mean?

It led to Morpharant, they gave him a pilot, that was picked up from the series, a feature film. He's hit the big time. Yeah, he still hosts a comedy talk show here. It's called, uh, late night with Graham Norton. Yeah, he had a big change, he had a big change, changed up in his face and name. It led to, for an attracting more heat from the cops.

And in August, they arrested him inside the high-gate cemetery holding a crucifix and a wooden stake. At his trial he was cleared of any criminal wrongdoing apparently it was okay for him to be there at any time of that stage it hadn't been outlawed at that time. Although according to mysterious times.com police would lay together enough photographic evidence of Ferrance nocturnal forays to successfully jail him in 1974 on charges of maliciously damaging a vault and interfering with the corpse. What is he doing? Given it a buddy's wood.

For those at home Jess is doing the finger mutt. Finger dick into the hand mutt and... Oh, I knew that was coming. I guess... That's assuming this episode is ever released. He, yeah, I assume he was... You know... No, I assumed he was taken out his wooden stake and putting it into its orifices.

I am. Is that what they call it here? Taking out your wooden stake. What do I call it? Sorry. Then maybe this will put you mind at ease. France, excuse for these illegal visits was that he was just trying to communicate with the mysterious figure. You want me to stab this body? This one? I got it.

Mysterious Times mentions that France's autobiography makes reference to his role as both a psychic investigator and Wicken with an equivalent high mark of a With an equivalent rank of high priest. Oh, okay So I think he knows what he's talking about The mysterious times article goes on to say that he has since changed his public position though about vampire stating that he did not. He never did. And he doesn't believe in the existence of undead blood-socking creatures. He never said that.

He never said that. He definitely said that. On the other hand, Manchester seems to still be all in and has written a book on the events and the book he says the vampire was at one point after a girl he knew named Luisa. A mysterious girl that he didn't really explain too much about and as Shivalry is undead he protected her. That was the that's my joke of the thing and I wrote it probably about 15 minutes ago and I said to Jess I think I just wrote a joke.

Wow. But it also might have just been a short sentence that didn't fully make sense. I wasn't sure until then and I realised it was the latter. Okay. Shivalry is undead. Yeah, that is good stuff. Maybe too clever for this crap? I think so.

One night he followed Louisa while she was sleepwalking. So who's following who this is? Manchester's, Sean Manchester's following Louisa. He's following her while she's sleepwalking. A young blonde girl who said he's gonna look after because the vampires after her. Right. And where is she sleepwalking?

To the cemetery. Okay. And she goes to one tomb in particular, all while still in this hypnotic, trance sleep. I'm trying. hypnotic trance sleep. More like Manchester, more like madchester. Manchester took this to be a sign that that coffin that she went to in particular was the vampires there. He assembled a crack-square-of-vampire hunters who we call the vampires. Yeah, the vampires are here. I've read somewhere that there was about a hundred of them, but that seems ridiculous, but I also don't really believe any of this.

So what's more ridiculous than that? All right, so 100 of them... A bridge too far mate. So this big crew of vamp friends, vampires go to the cemetery where they break in, they get in without the police noticing them and head for the catacombs that Luisa previously led them to. They weren't able to get in through the gate of that particular catacombe though.

So Manchester climbed on top of the thing. You know, those catacombs like building things, I guess. And he absailed in through a hole in the roof. He's written this whole thing himself. And then I have like... I tried to go sideways, like a kill shot. And everyone with me were in bikinis and Did a sweet commander role. Yeah, Sean Manchester is an intern idzee

The lack of Paws makes this feel awkward Do you guys all know him is this guy your dad or something? Is he all of your dad? He's a London girl. I'm sure he's a great guy and all of your dad or something. Is he all of your dad? He's a London girl, I'm sure he's a great guy. And all of your dad. Ah, they're they found once they got in, they found a vampire resting in its coffin. Okay. Okay. What? This is this is this is Manchester's account. He found a vampire.

There was no journals there with them, unfortunately, or any authorities, but Manchester said they found the vampire. Was there wrestling in its coffin? But for some reason, Manchester was talked out of driving a stake through his heart by his posse, by the vampire. No, I don't think you should. Apparently, one of them said, no, we've got to get the proper clearance for this. Who from?

From the Queen? How do you know it's a vampire and not a body of a normal dead person, normal, sorry. Sorry to shame any vampires in. What about the fangs? With their fangs. The cow, the... Was there a cow? Widows peak. Was there any of those?

Yes! Mast? Mast? Yes! Was there? Mast? I can't go any more! So they talked him out of driving a steak through his heart.

Instead, he put down clothes of garlic and sprinkled some holy water before performing an exorcism, which he can do. And leaving self-taught, I believe, but still. The catacombs later sealed properly by the cemetery, which you'd assume is to stop people like them getting back in. But Manchester said, nah, he told him to, and that he made them use special garlic infused concrete. He could get fucked. Three years later Manchester talks of tracking the vampire to an abandoned house. He's still on the scent.

Probably from that garlic. So that garlic concrete is not working? Unbelievable. I love garlic anything, to be honest. Garlic concrete. Fuck yeah. Just saying. Yeah, like that hard rock hard,

pretter, manger bread. Not like that. I think you're fine, it's toasted to perfection. I like that soft and fluffy gregs pastries. Yeah. Ah. It just falls apart in your hands What is happening?

So he tracked it down tracked the vampire down over a few years found it three years later in this house where it was living now So it's a person. Oh, it's a vampire. It's a person living in a house But it's got like a lease and everything. Yeah. Got a job. Got a job. You got to do, you got to do, you got to do. And he was there with an off-sider, and he ended up killing it and burning the corpse.

Oh, OK, that's murder. That straight up murder. No, it would have been if it wasn't a vampire, and he wasn't saving everyone's lives. Yeah, you're right. He's a hero. The corpse, the corpse disintegrated, like in the movies and stuff. What like Ash when it's burnt?

Yeah. Yeah, sorry, I'm forgetting this is from his point of view. So this all makes sense. His off-site was meant to film the events, but was so overwhelmed that he forgot to. Oh, forgot. I'm so sorry. Manchester and front are now kind of enemies. They don't talk anymore and have been publicly attacking each other's legitimacy. A blog I was reading,

one of them was in the comments. Just commenting on blogs. So cool, I love it. The mysterious times article, which I really enjoyed, concludes saying, The Highgate Vampire is a bizarre fusion of fantasy, fused with reality and hammer horror. Armed with this knowledge and the dubious recollections of both Farant and Manchester, it is little wonder, this most baffling piece of 20th century London law is best viewed as legend. To both protagonists though, it is more than that.

The publicity they have received continues to feed both men's status as minor esoteric celebrities. They continue to engage in... This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who saved by switching saved nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com. Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates,

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Mycomputercareer.edu. involving supernatural phenomena are constructed on shifting or swampy ground. The paranormal relies upon human mouths and hands to forge its greatest episodes. How good is that riding? Pretty good. That's the end of my report. One quick fun fact though. This cemetery, it seems to be more famous

for the high gate vampire, but it's actually the cemetery where Karl Marx is buried. And now that is, it's going back to being a place where communists go. Surprise. So it is all come back full circle. That is my report. Thank you so much. Master night.

Master night. Master night. Well done, Maddie. If anybody at the bar wants to grab a Vod, I'd take it off your hands if you want. What do you go with, believe that? It was worth a try. Um, do I believe the vampire? Yeah.

Ferrant and Manchester, you were manhead or a fanboy. Fat, far, far fan. I'm a manhead. Yeah. But I'm a friend, boy. far, fan. I'm a man head. Yeah. But I'm a friend, boy. Yeah, I thought that would split you guys. Did anyone hear her to that now that I talked too much about it?

Still no. It's wild. It's just around the corner. As far as I know, where are we? We are still in London, right? Yep. All right. Well, I have a report right here to do

Thank you right here to do my topic is multiple myths in one place So I'm gonna give this question to Jess and Matt and if they don't know then maybe one of you will in 1989 which village was named by Guinness World Records as the most haunted village in all of England? I mean, you're the geography one. Swap she? No. Yes? Is that something? What about, um, what's that play?

We'd drive through that place, what was it called again? Birmingham. Matt, we did two shows there. We didn't drive through it. Are you okay? You know the answer to that. I don't know the answer to the most haunted village. It is pluckly! Three people said it. I still don't know what that word is.

Pluckly? Pluckly. Pluckly. Pluckly. Pluckly. Probably spelled with a cue or something. No, it's like pluck. PLUCK. Pluckly. Probably spelled with a cue or something. No, it's like pluck. PLUCK. Pluck. Okay. Pluckly is a small picturesque village located in Kent in Southeast England. Do we have any pluckers in tonight?

Few cans, though. Couple of the cans. Pluckly has a population of about 1,000. Couple of hints. Pluckley has a population of about 1000, so I doubt any of them came out tonight. But to be the most haunted religion in England, how haunted do you have to be? Well according to Pluckley's website, possibly 13 or 14 ghosts, which is so specific. Is that specific? 12 or 13 or 14?

Or 14. 12 to 14 ish. To give a bit of sizzle of the horrors we're about to hear, website Kent Live describes some of the ghosts. It's quite, the village just outside of Ashford, both the Phantom Headmaster, a dying highwayman, a Victorian lady, and a flickering light. Oh! Now that's spooky.

Because of all this spooky material, pluckily has become a real destination for paranormal investigators from around the world. And it's also the scene for a number of paranormal TV shows, including the famous TV channel ITV. ITV shows strange but true question mark. And also most haunted mid-summer murders. And the 90s comedy drama series The Darling Buds of May starring David Jason and Catherine Zedder Jones, what a spooky combo! So, basically, I'm going to go through some of these 12 to 14 ghosts and you tell me whether

you believe them. Oh, okay. One of the... No, do you understand the rules? Yeah. Yeah. Do you understand the rules? Buzz in when you have an answer One of the scariest sounding destinations in pluckly is the screaming woods

This forested area just outside of the village is really named daring woods and are repeated to be the most haunted woods in all of Britain The nickname screaming woods because it is said to be rife with the screams of long dead men and women who became lost in the sea of trees. I've looked at it on a map. At its widest point, it's only one kilometers across. So if those lost people had just kept walking in any direction for 10 minutes, they would have been popular.

Screaming more. I just feel like, alright, I've got to get, oh it's too hot! Just give up, just give up. This is where I die! I just want to utilize all this space we have. I love it. I'll just sit back here for a bit. So that's our screaming word.

Jess, you can also act out another popular area for haunting and pluckly. It's a place called, Fright Corner. Ah! Thank you so much. Thank you. I was the drama captain of my high school. You can tell. Nobody puts Jess in fried corn. That drink I had was a double and I feel pretty good. In the 18th century, this is fried corn. An unknown highwayman was killed with a sword after a fight broke out between him and the local law

who ran a sword through him and pinned him to the tree with the sword. Legend has it that a ghostly reenactment of that deadly battle is played out on the spot of the murder. Also inhabiting fright corner is the watercress lady. That is the Watercress lady. I'm sorry. Matt, do you want to feel this one? No. She was by a few cans, a bit of a local character.

A traveler who paid away by selling watercress to the locals. Her two trademarks were a pipe and a bottle of gin. The one evening, she fell asleep. Makes it sound like she fell asleep. I like it. I like it every other evening. She's like, I'm going to give this a go. The pipe dropped onto a gin soaked clothing within seconds. She had erupted into a raging ball of fire. She was found the next day, a charred pile of ashes. The bat and old flask and the shattered clay pipe lying nearby. In the years that followed her tragic death she appeared as a screaming, howling figures

surrounded by flame. But these days she's calmed down a bit and is more often seen as a ghostly figure just sitting on the bridge. She's over the fire phase of her life. You probably get used to it, aren't you? Yeah. I'm bored of this. Yeah. Hey, Dave, what's a water crest? You know, water crest.

You don't fucking know. It's like a herbivestible thing, right? Yeah, yeah, no, just double checking it. Here's making sure you knew what it was. Watercrest. She's the watercrest lady. She's like a herd. It's like a herd.

It's like a herd. It's watercrest, no tea on the end. Watercrest. Most of you were being polite, but one of you was like press. I'm sure I said this before, but for a long time I thought biceps were biceps. I just love putting a tea on it. Give me a word, I'll chuck a tea on it. Cress, I'll chuck a tea on it.

Crest, okay, I'll do this one, Crest. Crest, thank you. Wow. It's so good to watch him work. Oh wow. King of Crab work, baby. Another place in Pluckley is St. Nicholas's Church, which is a place where you get two ghosts for the price of one

Horted by two apparitions one is called the Red Lady and the other one is called the White Lady Feel like I've heard of these ones. They're famous. Well, these are two of the more famous ones in the town I love this line from Kent live for the website a red lady is said to search the graveyard Whilst a white lady has been seen within the church. Racist! No, I just remember there's a company back in Australia called The Femoral on them. White lady's funeral, that's what I was thinking of.

I have heard of it, but yeah, it's probably not connected. And again, racist. They only do funerals for white ladies. My father died. My nanos funeral was through white lady. I'm not lying. Why would you lie about that? What a weird lie.

A lie, a lot of the compulsive lie. I'm not lying. All right. I say that a lot. Other white lady was a young woman who was apparently buried inside seven coffins. Too many. They really didn't want it to get out. One'll do.

And then how big is the seventh one? It's like a babushka doll. Oh. Thank you. And then how big is the seventh one? It's like a babushka doll. Oh, three more or two left. Thank you. Seven is too many for those who have never been. I'm weird with numbers. Not sure why, could be on a spectrum.

I'm sure. Why, I mean, is that logical? Shall we just make one thicker coffin? A garlic concrete coffin. Exactly. Thank you. Concrete coffin is fun to say as well. Have a go. Concrete coffin. A garlic concrete coffin. Exactly, thank you. Concrete coffin is fun to say as well, have a go. Concrete coffin.

Oh, concrete coffin. LAUGHTER Just like that. I could do it, just like that. Just like that. You're amazing. So a bit about the White Lady. The White Lady Haunt's Nicholas' Church

and the inside of the library of a former family home, which was destroyed by fire. The White Lady's Spectre was repeatedly seen at Surrendon Daring by employees of the US Embassy, which occupied the man-house between the two world wars. It's claimed a man called Mr. Walter held a Loht's Loht's and vigil one, Christmas Eve, in the library. She appeared before him, so he shot her apparition with his rifle. Mr. Walter wasn't bright. He wanted to see her, he held a visual, she turned up, he's like, I was not ready for this. Sounds like he was ready for this. What's the answer to the gun, mate? That's a great question. I think Matt will fill this one.

So what era is this? Between the two world wars, so let's say 50s. No, that's wrong. 30s? Well, I mean... The reaction there. 30s? Well, I mean that was me implying that there is a third world war imminent Between the second and third world war Please 19, not in 30s. Yeah, okay. I know those ones pretty well and it's a rifle a rifle short

Was that it No, that was me clearing my throat. Oh. That was it. Wow. It is such a privilege to watch you work. Once again, I don't, did I mention that self-taught? Self-taught, yes. Some people think, oh, how many years did you study noise? I mean, sure,

every day. I study noise, I listen. Hey, put away your exercise books and your body laptop computers and you got all the stationery in the road. I think the teacher is drunk. I think all the century you do I am. Oh God, God. How about that? You're not my real class. The red lady is called the red lady because of her red rose left on her grave. And because of the red lady, the Church of St Nicholas has long been a must see place for

people interested in this power on activity. This story is listed on London walking to the London walking to his website. They run a tour in pluckly. This is how they get you in. In the early 1970s, in the hope of recording supernatural phenomena, a group of psychic researchers persuaded then-rector, the Reverend John Piddick, to allow them to spend a night locked inside the church. When the Vicka came to let them out the next morning, they complained of having spent an

uneventful night, the bottom of which had been alleviated only by the Vicka's dog, who had come to visit them from time to time. Actually the Vickers commented, I don't have a dog. Yes! Yes! That's my favorite type. Like, why there hasn't been a dog around me? Please, here, Pa! For not 30 years!

That is my favorite. I don't have a dog. That was my wife. That's my wife. That's my wife. Dave. As the feminist on the podcast, I like to say that is not on, sir. You take that back. Guy, you were that character you were doing there. It's hard, you know, you're not always the most popular when you're being the most feminist,

but... The standard you walk past is the standard you accept. That's right. Yeah, good for you, you're... I think we all know something here tonight. And that is to stop talking, Matt. The daring family were Lords of the Mannerim, the pluckly area between the 15th century and World War One. Well those daring seemed to be up to a bit of hanky-panky because one of them, what a

place called Rose Court for his mistress, these days known as the chewed a lady who wants the town. She smells of tuna or... Eights, she eats tuna. She haunts tuna. She haunts tuna? Yeah. Tuna. What's your name? I want to have a little mini break.

Okay, do you want to go in that corner? All right, that's on time out. I know. Bye bye, Matt. At Rose Cork. Come on man! Ah, at Rose Court. What's up? You know, the hard part about doing a kind of fake walk-off is it's always hard to figure out the time to come back.

That's the predicament Matt sent at the moment. He's back. Thank you so much. What I miss. Well, after a long day of course, you want to get away from it all with a drink at the local pub. But, even the Black Horse pub in the area is said to be haunted by spirits. Black horse. Black horse.

Thank you. Okay. I'm not going to ask that question. This is the Black Horse pub. I love this. With an invisible hand that moves items on the bar and sometimes hide purses and tighties mess. Oh, stop doing the dishes. See, when we're, where can you get a drink in peace?

Well last Halloween, moonpeg.com. Started selling evil spirits gin. Its main ingredients reportedly coming from Pluckley. Each bottle of the green color Jin was personally cursed by a real witch. Named... Is that a guarantee? Well, personally cursed. H-bottle.

Well, the name of that witch is Miss Julian White. It was also a part-time screenwriter. I don't know why I found that so funny. Part-time witch a part-time screenwriter. I don't know what I've had that sort of fun in part-time which part-time screenwriter. Oh, you got to be these days. It's creatives, you know. You got to do multiple things at night and she drives Uber. I enjoyed how I just said Uber. Uber. God, the Australian vernacular. So...

How do you say? How do you say? How do you say? How do you say? Eee-ba! As you're in a sequoid. There it is. Well, Mr. Julian White put a spell on every drink in the spell court. In powers the drinker to follow whatever their heart's desire whether it is for good or evil. During the distillation, the gin was infused

with possessed apples and mint, and mint growing in properly. It was available for 13 pounds. Here you go. Pizzest apples. You go. Possessed apples. Fuck off. So the rap up here is... That's why I don't eat fruit.

It's not good for you. Is pluckly really haunted? Well, this is debated across the internet. Many claim that some of the stories were just made up in the 20th century for publicity. South Ligina's World Records no recognises the most haunted town in England. Mainly because they now focus on world records. I have to admit, I myself was quite a skeptic when I came to this, but then I came across this real-life anecdote on a Kent message board.

And it instantly changed my mind. This was submitted by a user called Suzy21 just over a year ago. On a way home. Sorry, I don't think that's what Suzy sounds like. Oh no, we're home. A couple of years ago, it was a foggy old night, and visibility on the roads and there wasn't great. Plus, it's pitch black when it's out in the sticks. Suddenly, from out of the fog came an almost musty yellow coloured cloud. Nailed!

It was travelling faster than the fog. It was solid, and as I was approaching a car I pointed it out to one of my sons. It went under my car and out to the other side. I have never seen anything like that before and I was eating chips. Which we had bought just before our journey. They had gone stone cold afterwards. Oh my God! I can't believe it.

Susie 21 finishes. In my opinion, the areas around pluckly are haunted. Of course, one or two stories would have been made up over the years, but not all. And if that wasn't enough to convince you on the same message, born a man named Marco 929, just wrote, the most frightening thing about Pluckley are the house prices.

Oh. Oh. And that is my report on Placly! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Wow. Wow. What do you, what do you reckon? That's out. I mean, there's 12, 13 or 14 ghosts. There are one of them's going to be real.

Yeah, I reckon it's definitely the yellow fog that made her chips cold. Oh! I'm with you, I was a naysayer until the cold chip incident. That really, really, my nubbing. There's nothing that explains that, it has to be paranormal. I reckon, yeah, the stray dog who was there for a bit, that was fucking spine tingling. Yeah, yeah. Can you imagine that, a dog being there for a bit?

Oh, I mean, that dog, it couldn't have come from anywhere. It must have been from the other side. I do, I love that. Now, it was great, Dave, I reckon they're all true. Daniel, there are a few kents in tonight. Is that right? Are we near Kent? We're not too far from Kent. Oh, are you Kent's in tonight? Is that right? Are we near Kent? When I'm too far from Kent.

Oh, that far, Southeast England. Are people genuinely from Kent? Wow. Yes, again, one has taken a... Well, I mean, one, I think in this case, when you're saying yes, if you're from Kent. You're right, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about that. It's been a long trip.

I'm a little cranky. My chips went cold earlier. And an unsubsisting. That's upset me. Can we get chips in the way home, please? Yes. Thank you. That is yes, definitely. Oh, but that does bring us to the end of the show. Thank you so much for coming out to our final show of the UK tour, London, you have been fantastic. Woo! Seeing this is our show. Would you guys mind if we take a photo with you guys in the background?

Would you mind that? That'd be okay. Would it be possible to get the house slides up for a sec? Al, would that be okay? Thank you so much. And well, we're doing that. We have a big round of applause for Al and everyone here at the venue.

Thank you. Thank you so much. We love you. We love you. Oh, nice. And he's gonna come on stage now. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mark Chattely from in here entertainment.

He's the one, the main reason we are here. so thank you so much Mark, we really appreciate that. He made it all happen, thanks so much Mark, you're bloody legend. And then after the show, if anyone wants to, we'll be, did Dave already say it? No, I have not said anything. We're going to be down that corner over there, signing or meeting or whatever. You say, I've never done this pitch part at the end. Jess is real good at it. Even calling it a pitch was weird. You feel free to fuck off, it doesn't matter at all.

I don't need to shake your hand. Okay. That's not about me. Okay. Okay. Okay. Shh. Shh. Sorry. Our chips went cold earlier. You understand. We will be in the back corner. We've got some posters. We may have some t-shirts left, a handful of t-shirts left. If you want to come up and say hello, you're more than welcome to you are allowed to leave. That's fine. We'll just be up there and it's it's seriously blown our mind that we've been able to come over to the UK at all, let alone doing our biggest show ever here. So truly, thank you so much. Thank you. It's absolutely amazing.

Thank you. Now, look excited. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks so much everyone. I can't see you, but did you look excited? Thanks, mate. Did they? Oh, you panicked. I'm so sorry. You were not expecting that.

And he went, oh, maybe. And that's a fair answer, yep. That does bring us to the end of the tour. And the end of the tour. And England and both England and Scotland have been so So, so kind to us on this tour. So as a mark of respect, we've decided to end the show by playing your national anthem. Hit it, Ow! I don't know who from here on. I want to die. Oh that's the end. Thank you so much, London Good night! I wasn't sure if it would date, but that really holds up.

I mean, I love that we decided to sit here, listen back together, laugh at all the best moments, mainly laughing at our own jokes and the others. Because we're pretty selfish. I yawned at yours. Yeah. They were. Ah, bored. Just happy to get some reaction.

Sometimes I said the word yawn. I remember there being a real funny line about Greg's probably. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we found the human button in the UK. It's a little thing called Greg's. If you don't know what they do, look it up. Two J's. We'd never really explained it in the show.

I did a pretty good. Yeah, it's like a, it's like some sort of bakery. It's like, bakery with sandwiches and other treats. And you should get a sausage roll. What is it? What do you do? Get a sausage roll! What you do in?

What you do in? I love that. Best heckle of my life. What? Because I got a fruit salad at Greg's. Yeah. Get a sausage roll, what you're doing? What you're doing, man.

You did really fuck up and getting a fruit salad to eat it. Oh, do you remember when we were in that Greg's actually in Edinburgh, I dropped that chocolate mousse? Yes. That was full line of people. I'm sort of browsing the fruit salads and I knock a chocolate mousse. It falls That was full line of people. I'm sort of browsing the the Fritz ellipse and I knock a chocolate moose. If flaws on the floor goes flying. I hit a guy's foot. I had to apologize and I thought, do I have to buy this? But no, I didn't. He just put it straight back. So someone got my

gross of moose from the floor. I mean, what the moose itself didn't go on the floor. You welcome Greg's customer. I mean, they just got a chocolate moose really. And if any day that I get a chocolate moose is a good day. And if they're listening, now I want chocolate moose. Please indulge. Please enjoy. I love saying it. I love telling people to enjoy their meal. Enjoy your meal. Enjoy. It's my new addiction. Ball appetite. Oh, love it. That is an unhealthy addiction, Dave. I walk around restaurants and just whisper it. We are worried about you. It's going to get you killed.

You said that to the wrong person. They're going to be like, what do you mean by that? They're going to think you poison them, turns out they're in the mafia, and they take you out the back. And they just mean to like, just like shake you up a little bit and scare you, but you're going to tie a little heart. And you just... Do you up a little bit and scare you, but you're gonna tie a little heart and you just... Do you have a tiny heart? Yeah.

He's tiny! He's a real problem. Alright. So yeah, so Tony is suffocates. Tony butt. Tony and us. And a tiny heart. Yeah.

Is there another badger that isn't tiny? Big personality. Big personality. Big baby blue eyes. End of list. Big hat of hair. Big forehead. Big personality. Big baby blue eyes. End of list. Big hat of hair. Big forehead. Big forehead. Big hat of hair.

Big ego. Surprisely big ego. Big belief in himself. Yeah. Big potential. Yeah. Okay. Again, there's that ego.

Big sex appeal. No, right. Big charisma. He's doing that little frog face he does. Big. Stop, right. Big charisma. He's doing that little frog face he does. Big. Stop, please. Yeah, honesty. No. Big. Big self awareness. Yeah, big self awareness. That's the way I'm looking. I was going to say big realistic. Big words. Real big. Really big. Anyway, thank you so much for listening to that live episode.

We are now here to break it down for our Patreon supporters. And basically if you are one of them or if you are not one of them but you want to be part of an exclusive crew that supports the show and people that we all love, everything to go one of them. And you want to buy our love, you can go to patreon.com slash do go on pod. And in exchange for support of the show, maybe you listen every week and you want to buy all of you can go to patreon.com slash do go on pod and in exchange for support of the show maybe listen every week you want to give back to the to the free podcast what you can do is give us a little bit of money every month and then we will give you rewards and exchange including shout outs, two bonus episodes every

month you get advanced warning on tickets for example when we're in the UK the shows were all sold out but then some of the shows were told by the venue okay get five more people in so who do we tell first? I tell the Patreon people and often those tickets you know just got sold. Yeah. Some often. No I meant just to the Patreon people so we never some of the venues didn't even have to open up to the the the plebs of the public. Hey we love the plebs. No we do we do but if you can't obviously you can't afford to support the show monetarily, you can always tell a friend. Remember, we're encouraging you now to steal a phone. Download the app. No, it's steal a phone. Down, or off a friend. Momentarily. Yeah. Download a podcast app if they don't have one,

or if they do, just make sure they have do-go-on listening there there and maybe we'll get a deal of phone. Yeah. Download a podcast app. Subscribe to do go on cops are coming. Shit, you're panicking. Throw the phone into the river. Run, run God damn it. They're on your tail. It's a it's a really it's a five step. Presence.

It's there. That's up to you. That's next week. I'll keep that story going next week. So you segment on the show called Matt Talks a Bit. I like it over here. We need more. Here's another one of the great segments of this show.

And it is brought to you by a Patreon listener each week. It's called Fact Quote or question. How does that jingle go? Fact Quote or question. We have had listeners send in some jingles so as well, which have been great. And we've got to drop them in more often. Jess, if you do remember to drop on in here, if not, just leave a moment of silence there in memory of the jingle we didn't play. This week's Fat Quotal question comes from Odie Matthews.

It says, second entry into the Fat Quotal question segment. That's quite an exclusive tear this. So people, you do get a second go. Yeah, without people get through two or three or four. Well, not four. Come on, let's be bloody honest with ourselves for a second. You know what I mean? A buddy go off, I've cocked.

But we, yeah, because there aren't heaps of people in this section. We do get through a few of you. And Odie gets to give himself a title. That's part of this, part of the fun of this. He's given himself the title of CEO of Dugo Undies. Dugo Undies. Oh, that's good. That is good.

That's a company. I think Dave maybe came up with that. Is that true? Buddy, who knows what we've talked about in the past, but it feels like that's something we once. Yeah, I do vaguely remember it. I have no memory of it, but. I think you might have been me.

I think it's true. Because Ellen has her own Undies. And we are as good if not better than Ellen. I bet I asked at the time, is there face on them? I think so. Because we should get our faces on underpants. But or front? I think I'd like to be on the front. Great. Dave, we're not here to live out. Your fantasies mate.

Well, you're on the hip, so whatever loser. He's a hip dude. One on the hip, two on the lip. As we always say here. Oh God. Anyway, Oddy's fact-quot a question this week is a fact. And here you are. Like goodness, because he couldn't pronounce the word question.

Question. Question. Question. This is from Oddy. Od He says, there are roughly 45 million kangaroos worldwide and there are 12 million people in Ohio. So if there was an instance that kangaroos invaded Ohio, each individual would have to fight off a minimum of three to four kangaroos. He said, this might not be 100% accurate, but around the numbers based on 2017 data

and it's pretty close and combines kangaroos with the podcast favorite state Ohio. I reckon I could take three to four kangaroos. Joey's. Yeah, but you're not in a no-hi and. I'm just saying. Well, just so. Three to four kangaroos.

No, no. Why'd you. Three to four kangaroos. Why do you say Joey's baby kangaroos? Yeah. What are your months there? You absolute months there. Well, if you see how big the red ones are, they're massive. Yeah. I think like they lean back on their tails and kick.

I'm just saying, if I got to pick the three or four that I fought, obviously I'm going to pick an easy fight and save myself. They've got some sort of talent where they'll gut ya as well. They're not, yeah, they're pretty vicious. 45 million is quite impressive. I would have, if I had a guess, I would have said 10% of that. Yeah, probably. That's a whole million.

And also they have to work at transport, because I imagine most are in Australia, to get to Ohio. Yeah, true. Even I mean, even if they took on Australia, which I'd say a lot of those kangaroos are in Australia Where else would they be that would be that's nearly two kangaroos to a person in Australia There's about 25 million Australians and 45 million kangaroos. So if you do the maths there

I don't think I could take a kangaroo. So I reckon I'll give Jess can you do four? Yeah, but I reckon your best chance is just look pathetic and little and neat. Oh you're doing it. Oh thank you. And then it will just put you in its patch. That's what I'd do in any war. And I'd hope to be put in my opponent's pouch. Yeah. No matter what the second step. Take it on as a little jelly. So anyway, is that how you wanted that to go already? Thank you so much for writing in with that. I love it. I was thinking outside of the box with the fact there.

Yeah, that's a bit of a beautiful fact. And we'll have another fact quote or question next week. Oh, that's exciting. Bit of sizzle. This is all for next week. Oh, big time. Now But a sizzle. This is all. For next week. Oh, big time. Now to end this little segment of thanking Patreon supporters. Let's thank some Patreon supporters.

That'll be so nice. The lifeblood of this podcast. Great idea. That is absolutely right. Now, we did just speak about myths and all legends. Uh-huh. We did. Now, obviously, these people are already legends in our eyes, but

just do you have any idea of how we could thank these people? No. Well maybe so like we talked about the vampire of highgate, maybe these could be a something of their town. Something of their town. My thinking is. That's not a bad idea, Jess. We get something. So for example, like the vampire. Oh, where? Highgate. Oh, okay.

These people, these patrons could be the something of their town. I guess that's great. Thank you so much. I owe you what. I just needed it to look like it was my idea because it's my thing. Yeah, but I'm pretty bad So thank you for that. Hey, very good at it. Thanks. I Okay, all to the Well, hey, how about I kick off by thanking a man who I believe is from Canada and

A man who I believe is from Canada. And uh, maybe... No, damn it. No, that's right. That's right. No, it is right. I'm sorry, how does that do? No. No.

He's wrong, God damn it. I just spat water everywhere. No. No. Incorrect. Try again. What are you reckon? Is it, it's not Canada?

No, it is. What if your mom's so confused? He's from Moncton in NB California. No Canada. Is something wrong with you? You've freaked me. Ah look I'll come clean and tell you. I was just going to say I'm what my voice was wrong. I meant to say my delivery. I meant to say from Canada. I meant to say, my delivery, I meant to say, from Canada, I meant to say, no! From Canada I went, no!

It sounded like I was shutting you down. No, it's correct, no! No! Now let me tell you that I'm just looking at Monkton here. This is quite impressive. It's in New Brunswick. And we're an old Brunswick. That's right. That's just Brunswick. That's very Easterly Canada.

Very Easterly. I should say, because there could be plenty of Monkton's listening, I should say that the person I'm thinking is Mr. Dean Brett. Dean Brett, the member of the first nurse. Yeah, I love bloody love that, you know I love that. You love that, I love that. He sounds like a character from an early 90s TV show to me. Dean Brett. Dean Brett.

Sounds like an all-American Canadian. Yes, and he's the something of Monkton. I mean. The Dean? Yes! The University Town Dean? Yes! The Dean of Monkton. And what is it?

I mean, does he... Is he... Some sort of a super... Super good guy or... Yeah. Super natural. No, very progressive. Very progressive.

Yeah, so progressive that people think that he has superpowers. Wow. Because he's so progressive, he's sort of accepting of people that we don't even know exist. Yeah. You talking like the Canadian president kind of progressive. Yeah. But just on a much smaller scale.

Because he's a dean of Monkton. He's basically the Canadian Justin Trudeau. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we're trying to say. Does that does that help you, does that put it in? That does help. Kind of for you. Help me a little bit.

Okay, yeah. Hey, we're happy to help. I really appreciate that. The Dean of Monkton, you have done such little works that you're there. You've taken his first name and the city he's from. Hey, you can bet on him because he's a short Brett. I was trying to do anything to do with Brett.

I've never hated you more. That's a worse thing that's ever been said on this podcast. I'm pretty sure we've had worse. In fact, I'd Brett my life savings on it. I'm just trying to keep Dean more of a moment because I just said his name and then where he's from. Yeah, I'm sure he's grateful for this moment you've given him. When we meet people at shows sometimes they go up and say, hey, I'm a Patreon supporter, you said I was the, and often it's like a pretty cool sounding name, or people change their Twitter bio to blah blah of blah blah. But it's this Dean of Monkson. Sorry, yes, that is right.

I am a Dean of Monkton. And now for my nickname that you will give me, oh, that's it, okay. When we do a Canadian show, I'm sure you'll be there, Dean. You'd be like, it's me, Dean, from Monkton, you know, the Dean of Monkton. And we'll apologize in person.

Yep. He's better bread it. I'm gonna say, believe it. You better believe it. Yep. He's better bread it. I'm not gonna say, you better be a little dino. Oh, yes. That is better bread it. No, you better be bread it. Be bread it. Oh, fucking hell.

I'll keep up. Yeah, I'm so sorry, Dane. Thanks so much for your support. Ready, bread. Go with an expert. Fuck you. Ready, Brett, go with the next one. Okay. Fuck you. Oh, man, I just, uh, next guy, he's, he's also, he's set himself up for another planned day.

Okay. Should I work here from officer in Victoria? It's Ben Gills. Oh, G.U. G.U. G.U. G.U-I-L-E. You have a chance. There'd be something Simon and Merrill.

G-E-U. How are we going to do it, Simon? Ben. He. G-E-L. We're going to do that, Kyle. And how are we going to do that, Ben? The officer of the tutorial.

No, I'll give you something more, Ben. The gentleman. Of officer? Because it's something more Ben. The gentleman. Of officer? Because it's something of officer. Like an officer in a gentleman. Yeah, the gentleman of officer. All right, you think it's something, then. Captain Judgy over there? Okay, I'm gonna, I think he,

I'm gonna, just this is off of vibe. I reckon he is the drumming ghost. I love this of officer. Which do you know what officer is? Yeah, it's out just at least. At least of Melbourne, it's probably a suburb almost. Yeah, it is.

Yeah, suburb. But it's very foresty, I think. I missed what you said. Isn't the beautiful east. He is the ghost drummer of officer. So he's like, people here drumming coming from another room, they're like, what's someone?

The drumming is coming from inside the house. And then they go into the room, but there's no one there. Potentially even the drum kits are ghost. Wow. Ghost drum kit. And there we have a kind of a duo. Yeah.

The ghost drummer and the ghost drum kit. It's like ghosts can kind of appear. He actually has to transport his drum kit. Yeah. It's really a no way for it. So after a haunting, he's, you see him go. And he's walking in and out the bass drum, logging it out, first ever ghost to have a roadie.

To his ghost car! Other ghosts don't have to have a car, but he's got a gear with him, so... And he's got a ghost roadie. But what's he going to do? No, regular roadie. What's he? He's a guy called Phil that he plays. Phil's on Minimum Wage.

What's he going to do not play the drummer? He's a ghost drummer. Yeah. So. That's his thing. He wishes that he was the ghost keyboard player. But early on he goes to the drums. Ghost singer, that's what he really is.

Oh, he's gonna go to the goast while. Oh! It's beautiful. He said it's just double kicks up the wazoo. Double kicks. Can I thank some people as well? Please do. Thank you, Ben.

I would like to thank from West Footscray. Beautiful neck of the woods. Not far from here. The wonderful West. CJ Diamond. Holy moth. Wow, that is a cool name. Yeah.

So cool that I think it's fake. You think that of every name though. Yeah, but Diamond, come on. Yeah. Diamond, that was Diamond it's fake. Yeah. You think that of every name though. Yeah, but Diamond, come on. Yeah. Diamond, that was a Diamond Bag Daryl's initial nickname. Before it was Diamond Bag, it was Diamond Daryl. Oh, okay. Diamond.

As you too would recall for a Pantera episode. Obviously. Absolutely. That Pantera episode where I was very well. And of course Vinnie Paul on Ghost Drums. That's right. That's so cool. See, I don't I'll listen a bit.

I listened a bit. What high praise you get for your reports? And CJ, actually, sorry, CJ, one second. Many, many people, I would say, over 10 people, when we, which is, to be honest, is higher than any other episode that people were mentioning. Came up to us in the UK after the show and said,

thanks, Matt, I listen to Pantera now because of that episode. Yeah, many people. That was interesting. 10 plus. I reckon, yeah, I reckon 10 to 12. Oh, because of your pants. Yeah, it's great. Look, I'd love to take all the praise,

but I think Pantera did a lot of the work there. I don't know about that. I mean, every band needs a hype man. I just realized that Vinnie Paul is a ghost drummon now. Oh, forgot about that too. But we're done with ghost drummers. All right, so CJ Diamond from West Footscray. There's something of West Footscray.

The Pied Piper. Ooh. I was gonna go for a podiatrist. The Pied Piper Diatrist. It's a podiatrist. So. Footscray. It's all a footscray, sorry. The pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie Every ghost life is a blessing in a curse. Wait, there we go. There we go. Ah. There we go.

Alright, let's get this straight. I forgot they were all ghosts. They are a, let's be honest, a drumming-pied piper, also a ghost, also a podiatrist. Wow, this is a kind of, they're so slashy. They're just collecting things as we go. Oh, the drumming's just a hobby.

Right. That's just the thing they do on the side. Part time screenwriter. They are. Like that witch. The ghost-, pied podiatrist of Wesage. Go. Guest pied podiatrist. Yes. I'm so sorry, CJ. But thank you for the service to fate. Well, you're forward to seeing your Twitter pro bio saying, go strom our slash pied pod podiatrist of Westwood's. That's gonna be good stuff. I reckon, yeah, you'll look on their Twitter profile soon and it'll have that up there. And you can bread on that.

Oh, I hate both of you. I feel so good. Do? You're not being the last person to have made a bad joke like that. Well, there's still time. Give me hope. Wait, I was just saying your joke back. I was still making fun of you. I still, I still your joke. Well, there's still time. Give me hope. Wait, I was just saying your joke back. I was still making fun of you. It's still your joke. I don't think so. I mean, you should just quit while you're

ahead while we're calling it a joke. Yeah. All right. Let it die now. Okay. And I would also like to thank. I'm so sorry to CJ, but thank you so much for supporting us. I would also like to thank from Texas Texas T John old oil that is John Willis John Willis great name. What are you talking about? Texas From Texas from a place called college station. You know who else is from Texas?

Hey. Pantera. Hmm, don't, doesn't want to go about. What was their first album called? The first first album was, was it called... Okay, they're early ones. Their first proper album was Cowboys From Hell. I'm trying to think of their first independent album.

I had, I'm the night jungle magical. So we like that power metal was their fourth one, but I can't remember their first. I think we found out a name John Willis the power metal of Texas. Yeah. I like that. Not sure what a power metal is. It sounds dangerous. Yeah, and that's sexy. What a pale middle is. That sounds dangerous. Yeah, and that's sexy. Metal magic, was the first one. John, take a pic, you could also be the metal magic of Texas.

Yeah, you're welcome. That's so funny. And we're sorry. The cover of Metal Magic makes me laugh to this very day. Is it the line, anything? That's yeah, it's a small waste. It's like the dog, a line man wearing a belt, nothing. Yeah, just wearing a belt.

What's it holding up? Holding the weirdest sword you've ever seen. It's got no balls. A real defined size. It's really muscular, doesn't it? Definitely does a lot of squats. Actually, pretty built upper body as well. Got that real V-s shape that everyone sort of.

All right. Let's stop describing my body and get back to the image. And you can Brett, you're off on that. Am I doing this right? No. Yeah. You're killing.

You're killing. Somebody's going to get killed with the power metal of Texas. Thank you, John. And what does that mean? The power metal. What is a power metal? It's easy to ask what is in the power metal. It's a shorter list. Right. And what is in a power metal? What's on that list? Chocolate sauce. Okay. End list. All right. It's a totally different thing but chocolate sauce. Yeah, you stay away from the chocolate sauce. So caramel sauce.

So I'm sorry for the natural sorry for chocolate sauce. Yeah. Fluffed out everything else is pal metal. Sorry. Oh, sorry. Chocolate sauce. Pow. Pow.

That's the total track. And John, you found your theme song, please. It's beautiful. Thank you. You saw it in my space, you could put it on your page. All right. I missed that. Thanks. John John right finally

I'd like to thank a couple of dead set legends Brett set legends That's good. That is Just nearly laughed at that. She didn't at all. I would like to thank from I said I mean the bit that rhymes with Brett is not the bit that I changed to Brett, which is great. That's even better. Sure, dead Brett legends. Anyway, that would have been too good for you, Jess. You making it off now, obviously, it was quite good.

At, I'm laughing at you. You're laughing, Brett, me. Stop it. I'm starting to see what Dave is on about. This is good fun. It's fun. I'd like to thank from Kill Dare in Ireland. Oh, sorry.

I paused because you sound like you're about to make a comment there. Ah. Ireland. I'd like to thank Brian Dillon. BD. BD, thank you so much. What is Brian Dillon, the something of Kildere? I reckon the...

BOM DIGGETY! The BOM DIGGETY pirate. As long as he's initials, trying to think of something I could think of with BD. BOM DIGGETY pirate of Kildere. The BOM DIGGETY think of something I could think of with BD. Bomb diggity pirate of killed there. The Bomb diggity pirate of killed there. That's pretty good. Yeah. Oh, okay. Have you got a suggestion that would make it very good? With chocolate sauce. Yes, I don't have a suggestion that does and that was good stuff. Bomb diggity pirate. With chocolate sauce from of killed there. Yeah, what's he doing with the chocolate sauce? Well, he's sailing on a sea of chocolate. Oh

Love it Is a chocolate. They pirate yeah, yeah Yeah, I'm indeed and thank you Brian. What's bomb diggity? I would just be like scooping up Chocolate sauce hmm, and you'd be like Jesse you drink it a chocolate sauce again And I'd be like no, but I'd have chocolate all over my face And you'd be like, Jess, you drink it in the chocolate sauce again and I'd be like, no, but I'd have chocolate all over my face. And you'd be like, Jess! If it's not chocolate sauce, what is it? Oh, cocaine.

That sweet brown powder. That's the good stuff. Oil. I'd like to thank from, finally, from Christchurch in New Zealand. Megan Thompson. Megan Thompson. Christchurch, beautiful, beautiful neck of the woods. All right, the neck of Christchurch. She holds it all together, baby.

That'd be some sort of vampire there, right? They love necks. Oh, yeah. So maybe, maybe she's the, what's the thing? Say a thing? Neck. Just say a thing. Banana.

She's the banana vampire of Cross Church. Okay, you ignore my suggestion. The banana neck vampire. Yeah, okay. She has a tattoo of a banana on her neck. Oh, that is good. That's how you know. That's how you know it's her.

But that's why she's always wearing skibbies. She's a vampire who's never low on potassium. Yeah, that's important. It's low GI snack. Yeah. They're a great treat. It's beautiful. Good answer, because those are energy. Yeah, a bit of fiber in there too, I think.

I don't know. Thank you so much, Megan. Good judge. Yeah. That is great stuff. We appreciate you supporting us over in Crossridge. Thank you so much. You banana and egg vampire, you.

Yeah. And if you listen to this, if you've listened this far through, can you let us know if this is the worst thing? You can firm this the worst thing we've ever done. I'm having fun. If you didn't have that bottle of vodka in front of you, I would swear that you were a delight. Thank you. Woo.

We have to leave now. I need an ambulance. Someone call the police. There's been a murder. A comedy murder. We've been too funny. You brought your life on that. The cops better come because we've got a brat to pay to society. Come on, just do one. Just do one. No. Then we'll see. Honestly, you will come to the dark side. I just can't think of one. Just bread it come to you.

He's so good at it. Come on, but with this serve, you better not hit the breath. This is the worst. I'm feeling a lot of bread, sir. Thank you. I don't get it. Pressure. I'm afraid that doesn't heat the bread with your surf. I think I'm glad we're shit at this. And this was all thanks to our good friend, Dean Brett. Thank you so much, Dean Brett. Well, it was all thanks to our good friend Dean Brett. Thank you so much. Dean Brett was all thanks to Dean and also entirely Dean's fault. Dean you ruined the podcast. So it will be our last episode.

Who are you talking about? Could you tell me who you're talking about from his title, not from his old name? I don't remember. The Dean of Muntan. The Dean of Muntan. Oh, sorry, yes. The Dean of Munt and the Dean of Munt and Oh, sorry. Yes. The Dean of Munt and Dean Brett of Munt and yes. God, it sounds like Jess has been taking

bread or mean over there. Fuck. Yes. No, that is, sorry, I've just got a call. Are you patting yourself on the back? He's literally patting himself on the back. I'm not going to call from God and that was comedy. Oh you patting yourself on the back? He's literally patting himself on the back. I'm gonna call from God And that was comedy. Oh God called you, did he?

To tell you that that was comedy. Yes, sometimes I ask Only when I ask when I talk to him. Is that comedy? Is that comedy? Oh God. I'm so sorry to all of you Especially you Dean Brett. Yeah Okay, the Dean of Monkton. Of Monkton. Well, that does sadly bring us to another end of the best podcast of our lives. Thank you so much for listening this far. Appreciate that.

At the start of the show, we did mention all our social medias and stuff, but you can find them all in one place. Do go on pod.com. Oh, that's something that I didn't mention. But yes, that you can find it all there. And please do give us a review if you do have a chance and forces onto your friends and family. And also check out Bookcheat, which is my favorite podcast of the current day, which is

where Dave talks about a book, and he's gone through some of the classics like Shakespeare's Othello, as well as that one about that guy near a town called Egg. That's true to the great guy to be that one is. No, no. That was my biggest takeaway from that episode was they set this in a voice called Egg. Fictional. And it's still thought of as a classic. Yeah. I can't believe anyone read beyond egg. Fictional. And it's still thought of as a classic. Yeah.

I can't believe anyone read beyond that. I did. Greatest novels of all time. Yeah. I mean, I- If it was the greatest of all the all time, I would have been able to finish it. Hmm.

And I'm real smart. I read good. You read real good. So. You really do. Thank you so much. Ah, thanks so much for joining us, everybody. Thank you very much. If you do leave us a review, let us know it was this episode by including your best

Brett pun in the review. And some kisses. I love it. So sorry for this weird ace MR, whatever that is. It's nice. Nice. I'm so sorry. Whatever that is. It's nice. It's nice. I'm so sorry. Alright, thank you so much for listening and until next week I will say goodbye! Later!

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