Do Go On - 169 - The Malice At The Palace

Episode Date: January 16, 2019

What controversial event in 2004 changed American sport forever? It's the Malice at the Palace! Josh Earl from the Don't You Know Who I Am podcast dropped by to tell us all about this wild event in modern NBA history and it's a great fun time! Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSubmit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-TopicTwitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] tickets to Matt's stand up show (in Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane and Melbourne) with the early bird discount code: dogoon via mattstewartcomedy.com/gigsCheck out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://omny.fm/shows/bookcheatPrime Mates: https://omny.fm/shows/prime-mates AND Josh's great podcast: https://www.planetbroadcasting.com/our-shows/dont-you-know-who-i-am/Josh's live shows: http://www.joshearl.com.au/gigs/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:http://grantland.com/features/an-oral-history-malice-palace/https://uproxx.com/sports/10-things-you-didnt-know-about-the-palace-brawl/https://8points9seconds.com/2018/08/31/indiana-pacers-history-malice-palace/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

Welcome to another episode of Dugo One. My name is Dave Warnocky and I'm here with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Hello. Matt's copying me again. Hey Dave, you missed one of us. Oh, that's right. We've got another person in the studio today. Special guest host, it's Joshua.

Hey! funny thing on another podcast with someone who introduces it like that as well, because I was waiting for you to go, who knows whom, who knows what, which is what I say on my podcast. Which is, of course, if people don't know the fantastic, don't you know who I am? Also on the Planet Broadcasting Network. Yes. And one of our personal favourite podcast. Well, congratulations for two people in the room who scored the number one most downloaded

episode of the year 2018. Thank you. Just to avoid confusion, can we please name the two people? No, I don't think we need to do that. Arguably, the best two. Jess Perkins. Yeah, well, we don't, we can assume who the other one was, probably one of me or Dave. It doesn't matter really.

Okay, we'll leave it at that. Yeah, thank you. But it was definitely Dave. Yeah, it was Dave. Yeah. That's right. We were on a fun episode last year with Broden Kelly from Auntie Donna and very funny Joe Stanley. So that, yeah, that's an honor.

It's a good time. So well done. I was on some really, like, cool underground episodes that only ran people here. You did a Patreon episode, which was everyone's favorite Patreon episode of the year. Yeah. But you guys win the meat tray, which is in the car. So we can wrap this up. It's quite hot out there.

Oh my God. Dave, you can have it. Yeah, wins a win. I'll like it. I'm coming home with meat, baby. He's saying that to his broom. That goes out with a broom. That's canon on this show.

Yeah, I think it is now. I mean, you don't get the number one download. Now you're trying to take us down. I understand, Stuart. I know what you're doing here. Matt, now have a go up me. No. I think that's, I'll keep my powder dry.

I think, you know, but you'll have something coming. Oh, yeah. Yeah, some of the real zinger. Get ready for it. Get ready to get smashed. Now, Josh, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me. Because most podcasts, you turn up, you talk a bit of shit and then you leave.

But this one, we've asked you to do a bit of homework. I loved it. I was talking just before the podcast. How did you go with the whole report writing thing? I'm like, I want to go back to school now. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm a librarian. And so doing the research, it's right up my alley.

Yeah. It's really, really nice. I mean, would you like to come back every week? That would be really easy for us. Oh, just write the reports for me. And just send them through. Yeah. Just a PDF, that'd be great.

I'm your air tasker. Yeah. Earl Tasker, great. Nice. Earl Tasker. I love that. I don't have any money, but I'll buy your coffee. So as guest host, do I start with a question?

Yes, no. So before we do that, Matt, maybe explain how this works. No, no, this isn't you. Jumping the gun. You could probably explain how it works better than any of us. No, I want to hear that. Look, okay, so the way it works is there's three of us. Today, four.

And we take it in terms week by week as to who researches and does a report on a certain topic. The other people in the room don't know what that topic is. Until we start the report and we get on a topic with a question. This week, Josh is doing the report, as we just said, he's going to ask a question now to get us on the topic. And what was that? Three, four minutes and done. Great. That was great.

And you should have seen the fear in your eyes. Because every time you're like, oh, like your eyes shoot around the place, like, oh, God. What is this show? And by the way, I've never, you know, I feel nervous normally, but this time was in front of a librarian. And this is episode 169. So I'm hoping for a very sexy topic here, Josh. Century for two. Okay.

So the question is, to you three, do you go on us? All right. What event happened on November? 19, 2004, that changed American sports forever. So I'm going to say that I'll be the first to admit I'm not, I don't know what happened in 2004. Anyone have any guesses? Was it from the Janet Jackson nip slip? No.

That would have been a good one. Have you done that one? No. I'll write about that next time. Please. Next week. Didn't have anything to do with Michael Jordan's shorts, did it? No.

Do you know about his shorts? Matt brings it up any time you can. Any possibility you can. Josh could have been the one that probably told you in real life. Probably was. Which shorts one are you talking about? They're on backwards? Oh, no.

There's another Michael Jordan's shorts. So the one that you're talking about then is he wore his North Carolina shorts underneath his shorts. That's right. The first time he came back after his first retirement, he wore his shorts on, they were on backwards. Oh, silly. Accidentally. Yeah, just put them on backwards. After that did everyone start wearing them backwards?

No, wasn't it. Oh, Chris Cross, the band Chris Cross, they did, but everyone else. No. Okay, what it was, November 19, 2004, was an event that is now known as the malice at the palace. Oh, that is a great title. Yes. Like rumble in the jungle. Like rumble in the jungle. Oh, Thriller in Manila.

That's it. But this is the malice at the palace. I love it. Right. Is it also a boxing event? No. Matt was closest when he was talking about Michael Jordan. It's a basketball.

The palace. Who's home called as the palace? The Detroit Pistons. Ooh. Yes. Cool. Does this involve? Thomas, Isaiah Thomas.

Isaiah Thomas had retired, but he's linked to both these teams are going to talk about. One, he was the coach of one, one he was a star player. But he wasn't the coach during this. He'd just been fired by a man who you've talked about as well, the Hick from French League. Oh, Larry Bird. There you go.

The bloody Eski banded himself. The owner of the world's most famous water cooler. No, that was he. He was stealing from Michael Jordan, actually. Okay, so the NBA. arguably one of the most popular sporting organizations in the world,

not just through sport, but also through its merchandise and culture through films like Space Jam. Which we've talked about and loved. Ed, the Whoopi Goldberg film, have you seen Ed? Which we will talk about and love. Wait, did she play, that wasn't with a chimp, was it? No, Ed was. She was a fan who was heckling.

Right. And then they said, well, you come and coach and then she just coaches. Brilliant. The New York Knicks. Oh, right. That's right. I'm thinking of the one with Joey from friends playing baseball with a chimp. And that was also called Ed, I think.

Oh, great. And also the hit sitcom, hanging with Mr. Cooper. Oh, right. Tell me about that one. He was a comedian and he also played basketball. In the show, hanging with Mr. Cooper, he was a substitute teacher who had dreams of playing in the NBA. He got his chance and he played two games for the Golden State Warriors. He wore number seven.

None of this is here, by the way. I know a lot of facts. He's looking me dead in the eye. Yeah. So he played for the Golden State Warriors. He played against the Phoenix Sons, who were led by Charles Barkley, who is? The modern round of rebound pound. I listened and you always say the round amount of rebound.

Like, I panicked. I panicked. All right. So they played two back-to-back games. In the first game, Charles Barkley... The round mound of rebound. That is right. He destroys him.

Dunks on him, leans over him, and says, welcome to the NBA. Very similar to the OC. It was a very similar thing in their first, which is welcome to the OC bitch when Ryan got punched on the beach. I was going to say, he needed to add bitch. Yeah. The next game they play against his other.

Mr. Cooper, he's doing great. He's scoring heaps. They win the game. Then he finds out they don't sign him though. So he doesn't play because they don't have the budget for the podcast, for the sitcom to have, oh, we'll go on filming the NBA every single time. Sure.

Yeah, okay. That's fair. And he goes back to being a substitute teacher. Surely you'd do it the other way around so it made some sense. He'd like star on the first one and then struggle or does an injury or something. Oh, he starred. Oh, but unfortunately, we're not signing you for some reason. He got a record 120 points.

Oh, well. Hang it. I have not thought of hanging with Mr. Cooper for probably since it was on TV. And it started with him going, where's my theme music? And then it would kick him. Cooper. Hanging with my friends. It's awesome.

Is this showing the age difference here? Is this 80s, 90s? 90s. It was in that kind of vein of family matters and full house. Home improvement era. Ravenstone was involved in Hangar and Mr. Cooper. Okay. Yep.

Yep. Okay, so in 2004, though, the NBA was in a downward slump. Michael Jordan had just retired for the third and final time. It's the John Farnham of NBS. He'll never go down. The league had an image problem with Conservative America, and scoring was low. meaning to the casual fan, it was a bit boring.

In the season before 2004, the 2004, the champions were the Detroit Pistons who defeated the Los Angeles Lakers in a very low-scoring series where defense was king. Defense is super boring. Yeah, there were games where it was like 60 to 68. Really? Now the games are like 120 to 130. It's like way more excited. So I've only started really watching basketball over the last 18 months or so.

Yeah. And still as a pretty casual viewer, to be honest. But so it's not always been like that. No, no. In this time, it was very low scoring. So the Pistons to feed the Lakers and had to play the Indiana Paces to actually get to play the Lakers. And this was a very heated series and the Pistons won it in six games.

So the best of seven, Pistons won it in six. The Paces, do you know what they're named after, Jess? The Wannaby Pen. Yeah. I used to think that as a kid too. No, so they're named. So they're from Indiana. So the Indy 500 is a big thing.

So the pace car that goes out at the front. What a boring thing to be named. And also the harness racing pacer, which is also a horse that run. So they combine the two. So they're named after a horse and a car. That's pretty cool. That's badass. If it was one of those two things, it would be cool.

But it's two of those two things. And the pistons are named after a car part. Yeah. Detroit, Rock City. Motown. They could have been called what? The Motown. Yeah, the flat tops or something?

Yeah. Oh, Motown has works too. Was Reggie Miller? Reggie Miller was in the Indiana Pacers in 2004. I know from the 90s, I know one player from each team. Nice. Indiana had Reggie Miller. He was their star player.

His sister is the best women's player ever of all time. Yeah, Cherry Miller. I think it's her name. Cherry, Cherie. I don't know how to say probably. Sorry. Oh, the Lakers. Do you know what the Lakers are named?

after. Come on, Jess. The Los Angeles Lakers. I feel like it's a trick question, though. It is because they were originally a franchise from like a lake place, like Salt Lake or something. Minnesota. Minnesota, right.

Yeah, which is the nickname the Land of a Thousand Lakes. Right. And then. Has anybody counted? I don't know. Surely. It's like Utah Jazz. Utah's not a jazz place.

Why do they hold on to the? Because they can change them. Just change it. The Pelicans changed? Yes. So the New Orleans Pelicans. Which is my time. I chose them last year.

New Orleans Jazz, and then Utah bought the franchise and kept the jazz. Right. Even though it's the widest place in America and there's no jazz happening in Utah. Cop that, Utah. Okay, so the 2004, 2005 season started and the Indiana Pacers were one of the favorites to win it all. And they firmly believe that they would do it. Being led by Ron Arteest, the league's reigning defensive player of the year. You know, defense is king.

He's the best defender. And Hall of Famer, Reggie Miller. who was playing his final year and gunning for a championship. They had also acquired Stephen Jackson, a shooting guard, just coming off his best season with Atlanta. And they started the season strong, won six of their first eight games, and then they were faced with last year's champions,

the Detroit Pistons, in what they were calling a revenge match. Oh, okay. Yeah. I love a revenge match. I love revenge. Revenge! Did you want the TV show revenge?

For a bit. Every time that came on, My wife and I had the joke would always just shout, Revenge! Coming up next. Couples jokes are fun, are they? That's very good. So this game, The Pistons versus the Pacers,

was the marquee game of the week. It was going to be broadcast live on ESPN from Detroit. Now, the game itself was nothing spectacular. The Ron Arteest and Jermaine O'Neill were the stars for the Indiana Pacers. And at halftime, they're already out by 16. A low-scoring season, that's a lot. But Pace's coach, Rick Carly, wanted to make a statement that Indiana, with the premier team in the league, so instead of resting his star players, he kept them out there.

So often when you get to halftime, it's lost. We've won this. We'll rest our star so that they can hurt, get some of the bench. And it's so early in the season as well. Try some of the new kids, see how they're going to go. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Give them a run around.

Yeah. Then your good players are rested, so when they come on, they should be better to, you know, score more and win the game. Okay, so in the NBA, it's quite common, though, for teams to have an understanding if the outcomes already settled to take it back a bit. Yeah. And players get very, very angry when the other teams don't abide. Recently, this year in the NBA star Boston Celtics, Carrie Irving, he threw the game

ball into the crowd when he believed that a Denver Nuggets player by the name Jamal Murray was trying to pat out his stats and score 50, the game, like Boston had won it easy. Denver had won it easy and he was still shooting threes with like seconds to go. when no one was playing defense. So, Curry of him got the ball, which he would have kept, Jamal Murray was like,

oh, I've never scored 50. I'm going to keep this ball. Oh, no. Hifted it all the way up in the top of the stands. And I was like, no, that's bullshit. You don't get to do that.

It's bad sportsmanship. It is bad sportsmanship on both sides. Yeah, for sure. I didn't know that. So they'll, do the commentators normally mention that? Oh, no, they call it junk times. Like in the NFL,

they have like, those kicking back and forth. But there's not in junk. Oh, yeah, I guess there is a bit of that. But would, be if someone was kicking goals in the AFL in junk time, no one's going,

what the hell are you doing? Stop being better than us, it's not fair. You're winning. Stop trying to win more. Okay, so the game, though, was still quite feisty. And with about three minutes ago, the Indianapolis star writer, so for the newspaper, Mark Monteth,

turned to another reporter, whose name is Sikku Smith, and said these fouls are getting really, really hard. And even Pace's assistant, coach Mike Brown was hoping that some Indiana players would actually be kicked out for their rough play. He's their coach and he's like going, he doesn't, he can't say get off because he's only assistant coach, but he's like, hopefully they get kicked out of the game so they don't hurt someone.

His own players. His own play. So he could see. When you whisper to the head coach, be like, can you tell him to pull their heads in a bit? Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, and these guys are big guys. Yeah.

So, you know, if they do start taking it too seriously, can get out of hand pretty easily. And they're all multi-million dollar players. Yeah. So in a break in the play, Pace's player, Jamal Tisley, is seen talking to their star player, Ron Artest. I've got to tell you. I've got to stop. That name is so great.

So it's Ron. Our test. Artest is love. Yeah, so A-R-T-E-S-T. What's his nickname back in the day? The Test. We're going to come to his name. I'm glad you love his name.

You keep coming up every time I think. I've got to stop him because I love that. There's so many good names so far. Yeah. Yeah, there's a good, some good names. Okay, so, Jamal Teasley, talking to Ron our test, and he reminds him, apparently, reportedly reminds him, of last year in the playoffs when Pistons player, Ben Wallace,

had made a hard foul on him in the last year's final. And so with 45 seconds to go on the game, Ron our test commits a pretty hard foul, not crazy hard, but just commits a foul on Ben Wallace. No one gets injured, but the game, because the game's over, Ben Wallace takes a fence and shoves Ron Artaest as hard as he can. You do not shove Ron Arndtest. No.

And at 6 foot 9. Okay. Oh my God. Like Ben Wallace is 6 foot 9, 209 centimeters. That's 108 kilos. He's a big boy. That's hard. Yeah.

You see him push him and you think Ron Artae's head is actually going to fly off his body. He just flies back, compose himself. But then with the emotion of last year's last, the pace is going in and they try and protect Ronnardest. and so people are just kind of pushing everyone. And there's in NBA fights, there's a lot of what they call hold me back. Guys go in there and they're just yelling, hold me back. And then they kind of back backwards, but no one's holding them back. They're just going to hold me back, hold me back.

Charles Barkley talks about this all the time when he's commenting. He's like these hold me back guys. Don't let me get my hands on him. Yeah. You're lucky he's bloody holding me bad. Oh, you'd be dead, mate. He's standing alone. So all these guys are huge, and the refs are not huge.

Why is that? Well, they're refs. Well, you're seeing like rugby league in Australia. Yeah. The refs are as big as the players. They're all huge nuggets. AFL's pretty, they're all pretty skinny because they've got a run so far. Well, AFL players are pretty trim.

They're musly, but the umpires in AFL run, how many Ks are game or something? Yeah, like marathons every game. Yeah. So they're slim. Yeah, you're right. But I always thought that they'd get people that were obviously bus. basketball greats, maybe not good enough to be an NBA professional because, you know, they're obviously obsessed with the game, that kind of thing. No.

They are often quite a lot small in the players. Well, they'd be people that have been around basketball or played. And quite a lot older as well. Yeah. There are guys like in their 60s who are like. Really? Trying to tell these six foot nine guys to calm down. I've never seen like a middle age or a ref in their 20s.

The only refs I've ever had have been 17 or 80. That's it. What happens in between? I don't know. But I'm playing in my late 20s and there's a 16-year-old going, I'm like, all right, mate. What you've described there is the population of Tasmania, really young or really old.

Yeah, yeah, it's like that at my domestic women's basketball. Okay, so the guys are huge, the refs are not. And if these big guys wanted to fight, there's nothing to stop them. And tonight, there was nothing to stop them. So players from both sides rush off their benches. they throw and start throwing down. So Reggie Miller, he's not playing in the game. He's injured.

He's wearing a suit. He runs out. He's trying to hold people back. He's an elder statesman, so he's trying to get in their ear. I wanted to see him just fly kick someone in his suit. He's the biggest battle. From long range as well. He was a three-point.

He was a three-points. So Stephen Jackson, who's only new to the team, didn't play in the Detroit game last year. He doesn't have any of the beef. He is, you see him with his fists. He's going, come out. He's the angriest of all of them. So he's going crazy. He untucks his shirt as well.

He's like, I'm meaning business. And then he's just got his fists out. He's got a headband on. It's great. Amazing. The piston players and officials are just getting out of his way. They don't want to get hit. This all goes on for about 30 seconds.

And it seems to go longer, but the clock's there. And you can see it just goes for 30 seconds. And what happens is run our test, the man who started all, in the midst of all this just goes and lies on the scorers table he just lies down what lies down so everyone's pushing and fighting he just takes a break and go I'm just going to lie down on the scorers table just relax all right it's not from the push he's not he's fine he's just going to have a lie down

is that him trying to be super cool like I'm too cool for the fight yeah or not cool I think he's just going I don't want to be involved and I'm just going to do I'm not going to escalate it even though I started it well by being pushed. Yeah, but if you know anything about Ron our test, doing the unexpected is not surprising. Okay, so a bit of history on Ron Artaxas.

He grew up in Queens in New York City. Oh, flushing Queens? Until her boyfriend could come out, one of those crushing scenes. What was she to do? What was he to do? She was Alan O'Fanny. It means something different here, very funny as a child. Elinor Fanny, how?

Oh, wow. Oh, God. That's some swift leg movement. Must have been some sort of a fire hydrant or... Okay, so with his height and his athletic ability, he took up basketball from an early age and growing up on the courts in Queens, you had to be tough.

At 12 years old, at a YMCA basketball tournament, he saw another player get stabbed in the back with a broken chair leg. Oh, was it a vampire? And the player died on court. Jesus. Did you say, and they died? They bled out on court.

He bled out and died on court. Oh, my God. From a chair leg. At the YMCA. That is one of the wildest, like, sporting. Yeah. Just imagine if YMCA was playing over the loudspeaker at the time. I assume it always got stabbed.

He aged hands in the air doing the Y and the guys. I assume at the YMCA, it's on blue. Turn off the music guys. It's not appropriate. He's bleeding out. Again. So Ron said after seeing this, it made him accustomed to playing really rough. He always had a chair leg in his back pocket.

He knew. So some people say he might be a bit of centric. In his rookie year with the Chicago Bulls, he was earning over a million dollars a year. He applied for a job and got it working at a place called Circuit City, which is an American J.B. High-Fi, because he wanted the 50% staff discount. That is a good discount. It's a big discount. So he's a 20-year-old millionaire and he still gets a fake job.

Yeah. So he went in there, he wanted to buy it. He said, can you give him a discount? I said, sorry, only staff get discounts. how do become a member of the staff. He signed it out, put it in. And then the place, apparently, this is urban legend. Circuit City called the Chicago Bulls because that was his reference.

And so this is right our test. Yep, all right. And then he got a job. He did one shift. And according to him, he sold heaps. Everyone wanted to be in there buying stuff. And then the Chicago Bulls said, you can't be working at Circuit City while you're playing with the Chicago Bulls.

Your contract says no moonlighting. Yeah. We never thought we'd have to enforce this. But. Yeah. That's amazing. That's great, isn't it? You can afford the full-priced TV.

Yeah. No problem. If you're Circus City, give him the discount just to... Yeah. Just to... Sponsor it. Yeah, there's got to be another way. That's the best, though.

I love that lateral thinking. Yeah. He also, while playing for the Bulls, in his first few seasons, admitted to drinking Hennessy at halftime during games, and also smoking pot before games. So he's feeling a bit too mellow, right? Need a bit of scotch to get me out? Yeah.

Well, he even turned up to training with... with the paces. This is when he'd been traded from Chicago wearing a bathrobe over his uniform. And this was as a reminder to himself to take it easy. Yeah, good reminder. Yeah.

That's why I wear a bathrobe to the podcast recordings. Yes. But he did need a reminder sometimes. It's a reminder. He looks over to the bench and there's just his gown sitting there. He's like, all right.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. He needed a reminder. He got him just right on his hand or something. Yeah, slow down. He's a tattoo. Because in 2003, he was suspended for three games. for destroying a TV camera. Like he was walking out of the game

and just saw a camera and just smashed it on the ground. Sure. Well, you know, he knows a good place to get one. Don't know, guys, I've got to stop discount. And he was suspended for four games

that same year because of an altercation with then Miami Heat Coach Pat Riley. So he tried to fight Pat Riley. You tried to fight the coach. The coach said something to him and so him being huge just kind of went up to him. What are you talking to?

Like just wasn't, wasn't going to be spoken to like that from someone else's coach. Right. So four games. Pat Riley's a legend as well, right? Yeah, he coached the Lakers and the Knicks. Looks like he looks like he was in,

what's the film with Alec Baldwin and the All about Wall Street? Is it called Wall Street? Wall Street. He looks like he's in Wall Street. Money never talks. Yeah. That was part two. Wall Street two.

Yeah, the money never talks. Oh, shit. Back in the habit. I think they remade. The squeakle. Is that your go-to sequel? Yeah. Ours is back in the habit.

Well, at least Jess. Mine's judgment day. Yeah, that's true. Right. You get your own. We've got us apparently. Wow, I've got to think of one. So in 2004, 2005, this is where the palace of the palace takes place.

He'd already been suspended this year for two games. My God, does he ever play? He played the 82 games seasons. They play a lot, don't that? But he's been suspended a lot. Two games this season already because he asked for a month off because he said he was tired because he'd been promoting an album by R&B group Allure, which he had released on his own label, True Warrior.

He's tired. The season that started, he played four games, and then he said to the coach, hey, can I have a month off? I'm a bit tired because in the off season, I was promoting this album. And his coach said, what the hell are you talking about?

No, you're having two games off without pay to try and get you into the head. They punished him by giving him time off. Yeah. Yeah, he only wanted two weeks. He asked for a month. No, you're not getting time. No, you're not getting time off.

We're not giving you what you want. Now, that's punishment. You come back. Wait, hang on. That was always like when you were a kid and you got suspended from school. Surely if you got suspended, you wanted not to be there anyway. I was so dumb that I was afraid of stuff like that. But sometimes, you people would get suspended for wagging,

which here is the term for skipping school. You take the day off, you came back, they're like, all right, that's it, you suspended. Oh, no. Another day off. Is wagging not universal? It does not sound like an American term. Playing hooky. Yeah.

Is dobbing universal? I don't think dobbing is either. Really? Dobbing, I think is it. Like dibibobber? Dibba. She's where like you're a snitch. Dibbibbubbers wear nappies, which of course in America are called something else.

Diapers. Dippers. Thank you. Dobbers wear diapers. That even sounds better. And dummies, which of course are pacifiers. Such a long word. Okay.

My sequel is Secret of the U's. That's good. That's a good one. What is that? Teenage Muti Ninja Turtles. Yes. The old, the 90s ones. Yep.

Got it. Yeah, of course you do. Yeah, sorry. Shut up. The one with vanilla ice. Yeah. Grow up, Jess. Go ninja, go, ninja.

Go, ninja. Okay, so Ron is lying down on the scorer's table. Was that back there? Back in the miller. That was a sweet flashback. And the melee seems to be settling down when two members of the crowd, John Green and his friend Mike Ryan start talking to each other. When Mike Ryan offers John Green

50 bucks if you can hit Ron our test with his cup of Diet Coke. Oh my God. Guess what? He did. He did. John got his money because Ron is laying down. You can see him clearly get hit in the chest with a cup of Coke and ice is in it. So the ice splashes up into his face.

It's all on camera. It's all on camera now. I want the DC on my face. Slow mo's for like weeks. That's the playoff. Yeah. And this is now, we know this is a guy who normally can be violent. but luckily for the scenario, he's taken a time out.

He's in his zen place. Oh, no. No worry, guys. Nothing could possibly draw me into this fight. So this is when things get interesting in the story, if working at Circuit C wasn't interesting. Because Ron our test snaps. Oh, my God.

No more line down on the scorer's table. Ron makes his way into the crat. He jumps over an announcer. He jumps, like, he's an athlete to do it. He just jumps, and he just runs in and starts making haymakers, just knocking. out people, okay? Like crowd members? Crowd members. So John Green's

in the crowd next to Mark Ryan. Now, Mark Boyle, who was a paces commentator, he said this, he said instinctively or reflexively, I did step up and Ron trampled right over me. I fractured five vertebrae. The thing I laugh about now is my wife

says to me, if you could have stopped Ron from going into the stands, none of this would have happened. And I say, well, Jesus, if I could have stopped Ron from going to the stands, I'd be playing in the NFL. So Mark Boyle's announcer next to him, Slick Leonard. There's another great name. Yes, slick.

He was a lot smarter than Mark Boyle because he just ran out of the way. He just runs out of the way. So Ron's in the stands because this is why he went to the stand. So he looked up and there was a guy in the crowd. If everyone watching the fight, a guy staring at Ron our test with his hand in the air going, yeah! And Ron thought, well, that's the guy who threw the cup. Oh, okay.

It wasn't. The man with his hand in the air is Mike Ryan who just lost 50 bucks. Oh, my God. So he was the one who bet that... Well, I'm happy. That's close enough. I thought an innocent man was about to get punched in the face. This guy's a bit of a dick.

So once our test goes into the stands, all hell breaks loose. Oh, my God. Fellow teammate Stephen Jackson, the young Tucker from before, he follows him. And both of them are being hit by Pistons fans. One of them, one of the Pistons fans who are watching is the brother of Ben Wallace, the player that shoved Artec, the player that started this fight.

And he's seen trying to punch, like, Ron Artec himself. So his brother's pushed him, and now Ben Wallace's brother is trying to fight it. Yeah, trying to fight him. Is his brother a player at all? His brother's not a player, but his brother's a big man. So Ben Wallace was like six foot nine. This guy's also big.

Yeah. Wow. Okay. So you can see the video. It's all on YouTube. You can see the brother trying to punch Ron our test in the back. Now, the security staff at the palace were not only short in number, but also in size. So it was a stadium of 22,000 people and they had three police officers and some ushers.

But what they lacked in height, they made up for an age, with all of the ushers being over the age of 50. Oh, my God. Hey, guys, they're experienced. Sure they've seen this before. One of these ushers, Melvin Kenziorowski. Oh, fuck, his name's Melbourne. Yeah, you don't look at babies these days. They go, oh, Melvin.

Little baby, Melvin. This is my son, Melvin. Here's a Muay Thai boxer, Melvin. Don't worry, guys, I fought in the Civil War. So he's 60, and he tried to grab Stephen Jackson around the waist to stop him going in. And Stephen Jackson just tosses them around like a rag doll. He's going to say.

Melbourne is hanging on. Yeah, it is. You can just see Melbourne just being like on a bucking bull. He's trying to do the seven seconds. The Luke Perry is moving. I think it's eight seconds. Is anyone else imagining Hans Moellman

is trying to take this Spelgola down? I'll get you. Okay, so Melvin experiences neck and back injuries. Oh, my God, Melvin. Months of rehab to get better. Oh, mole man. Yeah.

But he met Dorothy. in the rehab facility and they will wed on her 89th birthday. So run our test and Stephen Jackson are in the crowd for 40 seconds, fighting. 40 seconds. That is a long time. It's so long. Yeah. When they finally get pulled back into the court.

So you can see other people trying to get into it and security is stopping them from going. Everyone's in, so it's pistons and paces now players joined forces against the fans. So while Ron Artaest is now on the court, two fans in Pistons jerseys, they then make their way onto the court because everyone's focused on the thing. And so the two fans, their names, are Alvin A.J. Shackleford.

Oh, that's amazing. Do they give the police a fake name? Yeah. And Charlie Haddad. And they just approach Artec. He'd been pulled out, and he's just wandering around Amosly, like kind of not knowing where he is.

is kind of in a daze. And so they walk right up to him, and you can see on the video, they kind of size each other up. And they go to punch him, and Artes punches Shackleford, and the blow, he punches one guy, and the blow so much,

it knocks Haddad over next to him. As Haddad gets up, another pace of Jermaine O'Neill, who was playing great in the game, takes a running start, rees back to punch him, but luckily slips over on some liquids on the floor, and just slightly glances him,

and it still knocks the guy over. So a little back story on Charlie Haddad is that he had a history of abusing NBA plays and security had just talked to him moments before this whole melee went down about toning it down and people on the floor then realized that someone might actually die. So Scott Pollard, the Paceous Centre, saw it and this is his quote saying there's not a question in my mind, there's a fan out there alive right now because my friend slipped on beer or whatever it was and missed that punch. Right, because he's running out.

He's running full pelt. And this is like a guy who's, I think he's like six foot eight, six foot nine. They're massive. Because basketball's such kind of a gent, it's a non-contact court. So it's funny to think that they are, like I never really thought about it before, but they're all beasts. They're huge muscle men. And they never really.

We are. Why are you laughing? I am a beast. Just have you ever run to punch something? someone and you just slipped over in some sort of urine on the court? The nice thing about playing basketball because your older brother plays basketball and you idolize him is that he teaches you that while it is a non-contact sport, there's strategic contact, you know?

So, no, Dave, I never ran at someone with my fist held up, but I've knocked some people over in my time, you know? Wow. What do you like, you wait until you sort of tunnel and when they're up and they're jumping And then you'd push that sheet out from one of them. To be fair, I was just like I was a tall kid. So it wasn't that hard to just kind of run into a small kid. And they'd fall over you.

Are you right? So you're a bully. Yeah. Only on the court. And in the bedroom. White line. So the police finally arrive. So the court for backup.

This is wild. And instead of controlling the fans, so at this stage are very much the aggressors, they go to pepper spray the players. Oh, God. Just pepper spray, everyone. Yeah. So Reggie Miller pleads with them not to. Not only because it says it's a bad look for the NBA,

but also because he says his suit is very expensive and he doesn't want to get ruined. Hey, I had to get a job at Peter Jackson to get this suit, 50% up. But it is also that kind of systemic racism that they're going, oh, there's a massive fight here going on. There's 10 very big black men on court. And then there's like 22,000. mixed race.

We'll deal with these 10 black. It's going to be these 10. So the paces, they're trying to make their way off the court. And the only way to get off the court is through a tunnel that goes to the locker room. So the cameras are following them. And so all the fans are over the tunnel.

And Stephen Jackson looks like he's going to fight everyone. He is, like, most people are covering their faces as they walk through the tunnel. He is like hands in the air trying to fight people as he's being pushed through the tunnel. People are now they're throwing cans, bottles, they're throwing coins at the players.

People are spitting. Jermaine O'Neill tries to pull. This is the guy who ran and slipped. So he's very, very angry. He tries to pull a fan down to him, which the fall itself would probably could break his neck. A Pacer's official stops him.

People are throwing brooms. Oh, Dave. I'm so sorry. That is a little too close to the bone. To the bone, Dave. So one of the fans... To my boat. One of the fans

One of the fans is a man called Bryant Jackson Who he threw a chair at the Pacers players walking out Oh, not another And this is his quote He says, I, Brian Jackson Have six kids I try to do what's right I got caught up in something I wish I hadn't got caught up in

Yeah, the adrenaline is running high at this point Is it? Shouldn't you just be like waiting in the car Just going on right? Quick question, Josh Yes. Do I know what was causing it? Six kids, is that okay, man?

No, that's too many. I think six has past the point of... That's too many. Oh, another person who was sitting Courtside. Do you know how in the NBA, they always have celebrities at Courtside? So this is in Detroit. Oh, okay.

So 2004, what kind of celebrities are in Detroit in 2004? I know, well, I know that Tim the Toolman Taylor always wore a Detroit Lions jumper on his show. I don't think that's a toolman. That would be great. Oh, I look. Harris Hilton?

I'm trying to think of 2004 select. No, she would have been in Malibu. Someone who worked for Ford? I'm sure he, I'm sure people who love Ford's also love this guy's music. Oh, Toby Keith? Not Toby Keith. Keith Urban. Oh, I thought you were going to say, Kid Rock.

Kid Rock. Kid Rock. Yeah. Kid Rock is there. He seems like someone that would throw a chair. He says that he loved it, but he was on the other side of where it was all happening. And he was happy to be on the other side. He also said it was the scariest thing of his life.

Yeah. Really? Okay, I thought he was going to be like, yeah, I would have been part of it. Yeah, but he was actually admitted that he was terrified. Okay, so this is another quote from Mike Breen, the ESPN commentator. He says there were a bunch of people right above where the paces were going out, and there was this one young woman who was very nicely dressed in the midst of it. I remember thinking, oh, no, this poor woman in the midst of all this mob mentality, I hope she's going to be okay.

And as I'm saying that in my head, she pulls out a bottle full of water and throws it point blank range of the paces going off the floor. I couldn't believe it, says Breen. Even this nicely dressed woman who seemed so out of place in this mob, she got sucked into the whole mob mentality and it showed just how scary it could be. I love it. That says a lot about him.

Making judgments. Women can't make bad decisions. We can't. Certainly not if they've made a good decision with matching their shoes with that bag. Thank you. Not you. What do you mean?

My shoes match my T-shirt. in that they are white. Okay, so the places, they're all back in the locker room. Things are getting heated. Jermaine O'Neill is yelling at the coaches saying, next time we're fighting, don't you motherfuckers grabbers? He wants to go back out there. He's not scared by 22,000 people.

He's like, we can take them. Wow. You can't. There's 12 of us, we can take them. You can't take them. And Rick Carlisle, their coach, jumped up as big as he could in front of Germain and just said, we were just trying to help. What's the most pathetic kind of, not pathetic, but just like,

They're all so ramped up and there's too much adrenaline and I don't know how they're going to calm down honestly they need to run like 10Ks to calm down. So that's in the Paces, in the Pistons room, apparently they're all with their families and friends and then watching the replay of it

and when the footage of Ben Wallace's brother punching and missing Ron our test is showing, they all just start laughing. They're like, ah, you missed, ah, sucked in. Yeah, so. Fuck. Yeah.

So back in the Pace's room, after it all settled down, it's just the players. Ron our test turned to Stephen Jack, Jackson and said, do you think we're going to get in trouble for that? And he's completely serious. And everyone laughs. Oh, Ron.

And Stephen Jackson just says, we'll be lucky to have our jobs tomorrow. And trouble they did get in. Yeah. Okay. Because there's all these talks of like, apparently Ron our test just completely blacked out, doesn't remember it. Like, there was a trainer who he'd cut on the eye or something like that in the melee, like just swing and punches.

And he turned to him and said, oh, what happened there? And he goes, you hit me in the head. He goes, oh, sorry. And then, like, phone and so he goes, hey, what happened to your head? He goes, you hit me in the head. And he goes, oh, I didn't know. That's not good.

That's not good. Okay, so the NBA then commissioner, David Stern came down hard on the players in a statement the next day, Stern said, releasing a statement, he's released a statement that said, the events at last night's game were shocking, repulsive, and inexcusable.

A humiliation for everyone associated with the NBA. This demonstrates why our players must not enter the stands, whatever the provocation or poisonous behavior of people attending the games is. Our investigation is ongoing. and I expected to be completed by tomorrow evening. So super quick.

They're like, we're going to get this. So he suspended nine players without pay for a total of 146 games, costing them almost $10 million in salaries. Yeah. So a test takes the biggest hit with $4.995 million. Gosh, see, that must have been in lots and lots of games then. Yeah, but he had a heaps more time to go and pick up shifts. Yeah, he had that job at Circuit City.

So, and he was, he was a. first to go on the crowd, that's why. He was sort of sitting it out. He was sitting it out. Until he got... So what happened was he did a foul. It wasn't even a flagrant foul, which sometimes it's a hard foul I'll call a flagrant foul or a technical foul.

What's... Flagrant? Flagrant. Flagrant, not fragrant. I was like, oh, what a nice fow. Flagrant foul means unsportsman like fow. Yeah. Shouldn't have done that.

When I was playing, last time I played, which was as a teenager, and I didn't really understand basketball that well. And the coach is yelling out from the side. Stop the clock. Matt, stop the clock. And I'm like, I don't control the clock. I'm not a timekeeper. You're looking at the clock.

And then he goes, foul him. Yeah. Which is what he was trying to say. Oh, so I just pushed him off the court. And then they were called it. I mean, that was pretty clear because they. Yeah. I was like, what's, I don't know what's going on.

What's a foul? Punch him in the dick. All right. All right. Yeah, the coach. Okay, so these are the major fines. Okay. I was quickly, don't you think that part of it is the NBA.

They sort of screwed them by not. They didn't protect them from the fan. So it's like they're punishing them. But really, it wouldn't have been an issue if they didn't have people throwing stuff from the stands. Yeah, there's a big push from a lot of players who want to stop the bar being at three quarter time, stop the bar so no one can drink in the last quarter.

Because that's when your team's losing, so you start drinking more and then you're more likely to muck around. And you don't want to get kicked out in the first half to you. No, no. And in English soccer, they don't serve alcohol. in the grounds at all, I don't think of the EPL. I went over there and there was a tent outside when I went to see a game at YoVille.

And it was just like packed with people getting drunk before the game. And then you go into the stadium totally sober. It was weird. I fell asleep. It's like when you're... You skull two pines and then go sit. It's like when you're 18 and when you go out to a club. Okay, we can't afford drinks in the club.

So we'll drink all that drinks at home. Oh, pre-drinks. Yeah. I miss pre-drinks. I'm drinking in the shower. All right. Yeah. It's going to be a big night.

So, okay, the fines. Jermaine O'Neill, 25 games suspended, which he fought down. He fought down to 15 because he proved that the only altercation he had was on the court when the two players came out to attack our test. So he said, I was just defending myself and my teammates. And he was charged with two counts of misdemeanor assault and battery in actual proper court, not just the NBA. Really?

He got off those. Didn't have to do any time or pay any charges. Stephen Jackson suspended for 30 games and charged with misdemeanor assault and battery, she got off as well. 30 games, by the way, was about $3 million for him. Whoa. That's a lot also. Yeah.

Does he have a side job? No. What an idiot. Actually, he's now a broadcaster. Okay. How many, the seasons are long? That's the other thing. 82.

So this was game nine in the season. 82. 82 plus playoffs. But if you're missing. How do they fit that into a year? Yeah, there's only 365 days a year. How do they do it? How do they do it?

Mathematically does not work. So they're playing basketball. They play like three games a week. Okay, yeah. I'm thinking of like AFL work. Yeah. Yeah, so my question was valid. Very about.

So run our test, suspended for 73 season games and 13 postseason games. So they just said all of the season, all the playoffs, you don't play. He was charged with misdemeanor assault and battery. He also lost endorsement deals. All in all, he lost about $7.9 million. Not Circuit City. Didn't lose Circuit City. Oh, thank God.

Thank goodness. But he broke a man's back. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. Innocent bystanders and... Yeah. So John Green, the cup thrower...

Yeah. Convicted of misdemeanor assault and battery and sentenced to 30 days in jail and two years probation. He'd already served three years in jail for assault and battery on his ex-wife. Okay. And in the clip, you can clearly see he'd try and punch Ron our test from behind. Right. So do not feel bad for John Green in the story.

I did for a sec because I was like, it was just a moment of two friends being dicks. Yeah. I'm like, well, dare you to throw it. did, but no, he sounds like a dick. Yeah. So off the back of this, so much changed from the NBA, they had a complete image overhaul and a dress code came in. So the Commissioner David Stern had been embarrassed at the Olympics in 2004, in Athens, when the US basketball team went out for dinner with the Serbian team,

and the Serbian team all turned up in suits, and the American players just wore hoodies and baggy jeans. And he said it was insulting to America. Oh, Jesus. Lots of players were outraged by the dress code because they just said it was racing. and it was only targeting clothing aligned with hip-hop culture. Right, okay. So if you were turning up in like sandals and some nice car keys.

How is it an insult to America? Because they were representing the USA basketball team. Right, by wearing like American clothes. They were the biggest stars in the Olympics. Yeah. And so, yeah, they were doing it. Like, they didn't have, they're not getting paid for the Olympics. If Andrew Gays wore, you know, thongs and a hoodie, I'd be cool with that.

Yeah. In my head, I would just hear the Australian National Olympics. A tear would roll down my cheek. Andy Gaze. And then Copeland. Leonard Copeland? Yeah. Gaze would throw of an alleyute, maybe a bread roll at the dinner table.

He'd dunk it into his soup. Now they make a bit of a thing out of it, don't they arrive? They pull up in their flashy cars and they get out of an amazing outfit. Well, now with the dress code, they've now gone, oh, we can get proper tailored suits and we can be... Yeah, like Russell or Westbrook wear some amazing outfits. Peter Jackson. Yeah. Yeah, he's sponsored by Peter Jackson.

You better believe it. Peter Jackson. So that changed. What would also change was run our test. In the year he was suspended, he had to watch as his paces got kicked out of the playoffs by... No. The Detroit Pistons.

It's amazing that they were winning any games at all. All these players are suspended. Yeah, so he was their best player. They came sixth in their division, so the Eastern Division. Right, so didn't make it. Yeah, the Paces came third, I think. He then, in his year off, he worked out every day with his brother, and he also made a hip-hop album with one song called Haders,

which talks about the brawl and his feelings on it. Hell yeah. So I've got some of the lyrics here. So for some reason, kid, everybody hating me. I don't know why these cats keep hating me. You, you, you, you, and you, why are you hating me? I don't know why, but a lot of people hating. Very good stuff.

That is poetry. I imagine he never went back to the basketball after that. Yeah. I think that was inspired by early Shakespeare. You wasted all that time telling the story. You could just read those lyrics. And I got the whole picture. Okay, here's the more lyrics then.

He really goes hard on some of the actual people. media execs got promotions when they diss the players got their own shows now but they're the player haters David Stern damn David Stern I've got to teach you about the ghetto some things you should learn Matt Lauer born NBC you look like a girl don't talk to me we did the interview you automatically hated me

talked to me about the brawl and asked about family judged Asadurian hope you got promoted that's the judge who sent in symptom yeah John Weed Green one day we got to burn it down so everybody can look like clans Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah.

Is Matt Lauer the one that got in trouble for the Mito movement? Yeah. Yeah. He was on the money then. Ron Arteest, pretty much everyone he's picked fights with had turned out to be a bad person. Yeah. Was it, the Matt Lauer thing, he got in trouble. Was that because he looks like a girl?

Well, he was saying you look like a girl. So yeah, probably not. Don't talk to me. Yeah. I don't talk to girls. I only talk to boys. The year suspension is played out. When he comes back, he and paces GM, the Hick from French Lick, Mr.

Mr Larry Bird, born where? French Hick. Gary Indiana. What? Yeah. You are, no. What? Is that right?

That true. I think he's born in Gary, Indiana. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my word. Oh, this man deserves his own episode. Yes. He must be the most famous person from Gary Indiana of all time.

Parker Jackson. Oh, yeah. I was going to say, apart from Mr. Gary himself. But, all right, third most famous. I'm pretty sure some Gary in Indiana. When I was a kid, there used to be a sports documentary on him. and it was Gary Indiana. Wait, he's the hick from French lick or something.

I know, but I think that's just because it rhymes. Oh, okay, great. It's like when Shane Lorne was the Earl of Twirl. He wasn't really an Earl. I'm an Earl. What? You've been blowing my mind all episode. He didn't twirl it.

He actually used to ride on wrist spin, I think you'll find. Okay, so they appear. Larry Bird and Ron Artaest appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated to say everything is cool, but everything was not cool. Our test asked to be traded, which they did. He then bounced around a few teams like Sacramento, Houston, And then he landed in Los Angeles, where he won the championship in the 2009-2010 season and do yourself a favour of people and watch his press conference after they win.

It is amazing. He comes out all excited and goes, what? You guys aren't excited for me. Oh, I've worked my whole life for this. Oh, come on. Oh, I'm going to be on a whee's box. Oh, no. And then just like, yeah, it's really great.

Wow. Makes you love him. I'm so glad that he won the chair. I thought you're going to say that he bounced around and he never got the glory. So that's great that he got there. Then in 2011, with the brawl. still lingering over him, even after everything he had accomplished since, he made a decision. Ron Artec, a name that you love Dave.

I love it. Oh, my God. He changed his name. Oh. To meta world peace. No. No. Yeah.

Meta. Meta world peace. Now, it's hard to get the truth of why he's given a few reasons why he changed this. Some interviews he said he had a dream and he was called this. Others say he got into Buddhism and wanted a name that reflected the real him. The main thing about the change though is on the back of his jersey, it would say

World Peace. It would say, world peace. And the announcers had to say stuff like, and Bryant passes to World Peace and World Peace shoots and it's good. That's amazing. He also admitted he almost changed his name to So Hood, which after the brawl in Detroit probably wouldn't have been the best PR move. But the name changed worked. So people before didn't like run on test,

the casual fan were like, Now, he's the thug who started that fight. Then he changed his name to World Peace and he was hit with people who didn't know it was run our test. They went, oh, I like that guy who's got World Peace. That's funny. Oh, right. A bit of a branding.

Yeah. He even made a guest cameo on Kids TV show, Yo Gabba Gabba. Oh, wow. So that he's a total switch from being this like thug from the ghettos to this, he's the lovable guy who is just happy and he's called World Peace. That's amazing. Then he went to change it again. And I'm not sure if he changed it legally, but in 2014, he went to play in

China for a team in China and he changed his name there to Pandas friend. That's good branding. Just one panda. Yeah. And one last thing. This is the last thing. So do you know who Meta World Peace talks to almost every day? Oh.

Does he talk to God every day? His mum. I think he's found Buddhism. So maybe not God. I don't know. Not his mom. Oh, I want it to be the guy who threw the cup. You are right.

Yeah. He talks apparently to John Green every day. Wow. It's like when the Pope met with the guy who tried to shoot him. Yeah. So a friendship out of adversity. They are like Keanu and Sandra Bullock from speed. Wow.

Yeah, every day apparently. That's right when she threw that cup at him and then now they're friends. Another good sequel name. Speed two. Cruise control. Yeah. Oh, that is good. So that, dear friends and listeners, is the malice at the palace.

That is that is quite. That is quite a story. What a tale. It's strange now. So now, like, security is really high. Yeah. People, if they even yell, there's some great YouTube, you can go down some real cool YouTube holes of fans giving the fingers to players and getting kicked out.

Like, there's one, like, fan, this really tubby dude, giving the finger to Russell Westbrook, and Russell Westbrook just stares him down, and this guy kind of just cowers down. It's great. Yeah. Because I've never heard of that. And then, all these security issues, it sounds like something that would have happened, maybe in the 70s or 80s. Yeah.

In a more naive time, if you will, man. But this is in the 2000. There's people now who are saying that they actually are really thankful that it did happen this way because it could have been a lot worse. Because it could have been someone brought in a gun to the stadium. That's the other thing. A lot of people in America are obviously who can carry. I don't know.

You're probably not allowed to bring into a stadium, I hope. Well, back then they wouldn't have had metal detectors. It was just if your ticket go in. But now everyone, there's a metal detector you can't go, yeah, got to empty out your liquids and all that kind of stuff. Empty out your guns. Empty out your guns. They actually make you shoot it rather than just take the ammo

Empty a few rounds Into the bucket, please sir How's the bucket is it? Well, it's got to be a meta one Yeah, actually no, that's going to A holy one It's deflecting all around the place I was imagining like a big red bucket

That a kid would take to the beach And it has like a smiley face on it And it's just filled with holes Oh wow that is meta Panda's friends This is a few years ago as playing in China Is you retired now? Well, he played in China and then he went and played two more seasons for the Lakers.

So he kind of went out of the NBA, he played in China. Then the Lakers were terrible. So he was good enough to play again for them. And then he retired like the end of 2016. I feel, I feel so embarrassed. I don't know any of this. Yeah, I hadn't heard of it at all.

You're the casual, uh, sports fan? I'm a casual sports fan. It feels like this is a casual sports fan would have heard of meta world peace. And especially when it's branded as the malice and the palace. I mean, that's, that's, That's just good branding. We love rhyming. That is awesome.

That is just wild. I think that completes our trilogy of sporting controversies. We started with the Rumble in the Jungle and we had the Montreal screw job. That's the first one I listened to. Yeah, right. And now completing it with the malice at the palace. All great names. Yeah.

And you're obviously being a basketball fan a long time, Josh. Were you watching this season? I had moved away from basketball around this time. So I was a big basketball fan as a kid. played it and then in 99 I went into a theatre degree and no one none of my friends were into sports I went oh I can't be bothered doing this no one to talk to about it yeah let's talk about harold pinter yeah and also that's that's when you figured out you weren't six foot nine yeah exactly yeah I could have told you that it came real quick because a quick shock I was

17 I was still waiting on that growth school yeah I'm still waiting on one I'm hoping for just a little bit more hey Jess you had your time you were a tall kid at least I was a tall kid how much would a growth spurt now ruin your life though you've gone by a whole new wardrobe oh you You're probably right. Have to change how your settings are in your car. Yeah. It's not worth that. That's terrific.

Oh, you're right. Now I feel great about my height. Woohoo! Growing pains as well? Yeah. That means your bones are still growing. Who wants that? Ugh.

Ugh. Don't want any bones growing. Yeah, if there's any 14-year-olds listen to this, you're gross. Yeah. Yuck. One of my cousins grew so fast and is very tall. He's like six foot six or maybe seven that doctors told him to stop playing sport for a while. Because his body was just shutting.

He was getting injured because his body had grown so fast that muscles around it just couldn't. It was like, ah, I think is the technical term. Like asparagus. Apparently, asparagus grows really fast. Really? And it grows so fast in hot houses. And listeners, see if this is true or not.

Because I got told this and I couldn't be able to looking it up. Apparently it grows so far as you can pick it twice in a day. Get stuff. Yeah. In the morning, go out in the afternoon. But it makes your piss smell weird. Not everyone. Only some people. Really?

Yeah. Oh, that's fascinating. That is a fun fact. That is a fun fact. That is a fun fact, but I really doubt it. I'm sorry to say. Yeah, it feels like I would have seen a video of that, surely. Actually, no, there are types of bamboo that I believe can grow a foot in a day.

So maybe in a hot house. Ah, panda's friend. Bamboo. Yes. Well, that brings us to the end of the report, which brings us up to everyone's favorite segment of the show. I'm sure Josh would agree. This is favorite segment. It's the fact quote or question segment of the show.

We love this segment. Yeah, we do. It's everyone's favorite. This is all part of our Patreon supporters. One of their, what do we call these things? Rewards. Reward, that's right. This is your reward.

Well, that felt like a cruel laugh there, Jess. I thought this segment was everyone's favorite segment of the show. It is. This week's fact quote or questioner is a man with a superb name, Bruce Smith. This is this first time in the fact quote or question segment. And you also get to give yourself a title. He's gone for, oh, hang on.

His actual name is Andrew John Smith. So he's given himself the title of most original name on the Patreon. Andrew John Smith. It was a head of another Smith as well. Joe Smith gave himself a similar title. The world's most average American, I believe he said. And this week, Brew has chosen to give us a quote. And this is from a quote from, and I never read these until we're recording.

So dangerous. This is a quote from Isambard Kingdom Brunel. And the quote is, oh, this feels appropriate. Oh, good. So far. If we must have heroes and wars we're into make them, there is no war so brilliant as a war with the wrong. No heroes so fit to be sung as he who has gained the bloodless victory of truth and mercy.

I mean, you could almost have guessed that that was a meta-world piece of quoting. Was that? I mean, it sounds like something. But did he, he didn't have a fourth name changed to Isamabar Kingdom, Brunel? I feel like he'd choose Kingdom. Kingdom, yeah, kingdom's very much. Beautiful middle name. Brunel, not Brunei?

I'm reading it as it's written, and I don't think Bruce Smith would make a spelling error like that. And it's kind of gross that you've insinuated that, Dave. And I was insinuating that you can't read. Is that kind of gross or is that fair? Well, I mean, as I went through it two or three times there, and I was feeling, I was getting sweaty. That was nerve-wracking. Because, I mean, the quote in itself is written real weird.

I bet it's from a different time. Well, here we go from Wikipedia. Islam isambard kingdom Brunel. Very well-pronounced. I should have said that to you, Matt. Was an English mechanical and civil engineer who was considered, quote, one of the most ingenious and prolific figures in engineering history.

One of the greatest figures of the Industrial Revolution. Right. An engineer. Toolment at war. Yeah. What era was he from? Born in 1806 to 1859. He built the Great Western Railway and a series of steam ships,

including the first propeller-driven transatlantic ship. Oh, I know this guy. I think he did the tunnel as well. There's a big tunnel. There's a big tunnel. The box tunnel, there it is. I just recognize his photo. He's got a great look.

A new viaduct called the box tunnel. I believe he has a tunnel that possibly goes under the Thames that he spent a long time. Now Dave's just having a purve. Aren't you, Dave? Yeah, I'm having a great time. Nirting out here. This is good fun. So thank you so much, Bruce Smith.

You've sent Dave into a spiral. And can I just say, I've just looked up Larry Bird where he's born, West Baden Springs. Damn, and I thought he was born. In Gary. In Indiana. It's still Indiana. So it's probably close by.

He was raised in nearby French lick. Yeah. French lick. That is a real place. Yeah. French lick, Indiana. I swear he's got some ties to Gary. Oh, we've all got ties to Gary in our heart.

Yeah. That's my true home. My spiritual home is Gary, Indiana. Yeah. Physically. No, Mr. Smith. So thanks to Mr. Smith. Thank you, Mr. Smith.

Well done. The Brew dog is. himself and the other segment that everyone does love is our Patreon read where we thank a few of our Patreon supporters. Dave, where can they support us on Patreon if they want to do that? It is at patreon.com slash do go on pod or at do go onpod.com. And by supporting this show, you're also supporting my other show, Prime mates podcast, which all three of these great people have been on.

And also, Dave, your podcast, Bookcheat, which all three of us great people have been on. Absolutely. It's an incestuous little system, isn't it? Yes, we all love to pod together. Cute. So this, Josh, what we normally do is we thank a few of our supporters and Jess comes up with a little game. Maybe you can help with us today.

It's something, we give them something that's related to the topic. What do you think of Jess? Well, I was thinking some kind of maybe a rhyming thing from where they live. That might be too hard. You know, like malice in the palace. No, I like that. And Josh, you have to do all six. Okay.

It doesn't have to be where they live, mate. He's a librarian. He knows words. The man knows words. I write songs. And he writes songs. I can do a little rhyme. You'd be, this would be right in your sweet spot.

All right, well, let's kick it off. My name is something I'm here to say. I like giving money to go on every day. Yeah. Not every day, just once a month. No, every day. Dave, where's M. In the US as a state?

Missouri. Missouri? Is it? I think so. Oh, great. Well, from Valley, Park in Missouri. I'd love to thank Jake King.

Jake King. Oh, Jake King. Oh, the push-up king. The push-up King. Jake King from Valley Park, you've got a very famous AFL player who shares your name. If you're on my podcast, that's what I'd say. You share your name with a guy with ties to the underworld. Allegedly.

Allegedly. Allegedly. And also a great push-up guy, I guess. That's where he would have got the nickname. Yeah, apparently he did lots of push-ups. The push-ups. up King. So from Valley Park. Jake is the... Valley Park. There's not many rhymes.

What about the mallet after dark? Something like that. Oh, yeah. But you have to say Melly, which some people do say. The Malley after Dark from Valley Park. I love it. Jake? Huh? I love it. Is that the sound of someone loving it? We can hear you. I feel like this one might be easier maybe. From Man. In Australia.

I was just there. It's James Alloy. James Alloy. Or Alois. Alois. Or Alois, probably more accurate. Many options there. Many options.

Pick your favourite James. Manly. Manly. Manly. Manly. Manly? Can you rhyme the same word with the same word? Yeah.

The manly from manly. Oh, I love that. And is it, wait, what are what, I don't know if I understand this game. Is it like the hick from French lick? Is that the idea? Maybe. There aren't strict rules. The Stanley knife that belongs to the manly wife.

Yes. That's right. Your now or future wife. Better watch her around sharp objects. Yeah. Sorry about that. Stanley knife. My favorite thing about manly is everything in manly is named like the shops.

It's like the manly shop. Yeah. Or the manly ferry. Yeah. And yeah, it's good. They can only have one of each thing. Just to clarify where they are. Yeah.

Dave, would you like to thank some people? Please. like to thank from Montreal in Quebec, Canada, I would like to thank Jean Nicholas Berdon. Oh. Jean Nicholas Berdon. Love that. Or Jean Nicholas.

It's French Canada. Jean Nicholas. Jean Nicholas. What about the free for all in Montreal? Oh, yeah, that's good. That is good. Yes. Maddie, look at you go.

You did it. What a quick turnaround from you having no idea how it worked to nailing it in your first go. Well, when you said anything goes, it really clarified for me. Good. What about the deck in Quebec? Oh, that's good.

Someone can't punch in the face. Someone actually connected. I've got to watch on YouTube the vision of that big man running and then slipping over just before he kills someone with a fist. That's the best. That's amazing. Who else have you got? I would like to think now from, let's have a crack at this.

Holtz-Kirchen, Bavaria, Germany. Oh, oh. Deutschland, Dave. Come on, mate. It is DE. Deutschland. I do apologize. I don't know why we don't call you what you want to be called in your country.

It's weird, isn't it? It's a strange thing. Why do we have English versions of just call them what they are? I find that fast. Brazil is so close to how they spill it. Yeah, why do we spell it with a Z-Lone S? Just spill it how they want to be. We call it Rome.

They just call it Roma. Yeah. It's just an E internet. It's so strange. It's the same amount in Scrabble. I just don't worry about it. Maybe that's why. That's why Brazil was changed.

Yeah, that's why. How I spell it? I get to use my ten for this. That would make sense, sadly. Josh, I don't know what kind of rules you're playing where you're using place names and your scribble. Come on. What is this?

Tasmanian rules. Brazilian. Ah. That's very good. That is good. You are good. Thanks. I'd like to thank our friend from Bavaria,

Deutscheland. Moritz Rammuter. Moritz. Moritz Rermuda. From Bavaria. Bavaria. I nearly had something and then I lost it immediately.

What rhymes with Bavaria? Malaria in Bavaria. Did I do it? Yeah. That's good. Vaccination of malaria in Bavaria. Slightly more positive. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you to that. Bavaria. I've got to say, one of my all-time favorite desserts is the chocolate Bavarian. Do you think that really is from Bavaria? I'd highly doubt it.

But if it is, I'm going there. Yeah. I'm such a fan. And the Black Forest cake, that's in the same sort of area, isn't it? Yeah, I'm a fan of the Black Forest as well. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny with the things. I know a German meal is prosciutto on rockmelon or cantaloupe.

Oh, yeah. Okay. That doesn't sound too good. I had a friend who was German who stayed with me for a month, who as a thank you who cooked us all dinner, And that was the first course. And I was like, is this a joke? Am I being punked? Because you're trying to be polite.

Not too bad though. Yeah. Not too bad. Okay. Flavors, they all go together. It's a taste sensation. Can I thank some people? Please.

Please. Please. Dave, please. Can I? Dave. Fine. Thank you. I'd like to thank from Brunswick,

Victoria, where we are right now, not to give too much a way. I'm directly under the sun I don't think we had a Simpsons reference this week This one right now I'd like to thank Tess Flotman Oh fantastic man Flotman

Josh can you think of anything That rhymes with Flotman Flotman Plotcan Tess in Brunswick Using her fun stick Hey Could be rude, could not be rude

Could be podistic Yeah whatever Whatever you think is fun Tess, a stick of that. Yeah, like a big boss. Yeah. That, I found them fun sticks. Probably, they before your time?

A big boss. A big boss cigar. I'm a fan. Nah. The candy. They used to have the tip on the end that was a different colour. Yeah. Represent it was being lit.

Now they don't, they're just a musk's dick. Yeah. Oh, God. I love the fads. There's an episode in that. Love it. Evolution of the name fads. Yeah.

When I was a boy So thank you to Tess Enjoy your fun stick Drop by anytime Tess I'd like to thank also From Uber Huber Heights Uber Huber Heights Uber. Oh so it's not Uber Huber

No I'm an idiot The Uber from Uber Hube Heights Ohio Ohio is Ohio right Yeah our favorite state please I'm just checking I'd like to thank Harold E. Stutz Jr.

Please give my regard to Harold E. Stutz Sr. Please, Harold E. Stutz Sr. is my father. Are you going to have a son, Harold, and call it Harold E. Stutz the third? That's the dream. That's the dream. We've got a few the third patrons, which always makes me feel very good. I like to add it to the end of my name sometimes, but it's not true. Yeah.

I mean, there's probably been. to other Jess Perkins. No. At some point, no. Harold Stutz in the cabots. Yes, he's done it again. Somebody stop him. Just for a bonus fun fact,

I'm looking out of Huber Heights because it really is making me laugh a lot. Huber Heights's motto is, quote, America's largest community of brick homes. Oh. Hubber Harts. Some smart little piggies. What are they got everywhere else?

There's sticks for those. sticks and straw. Puffin and puffing. We are going to have to add that to the list. Huber Heights. I love it so much. And then when we drive through there, we have to be playing Huber stank on the radio. On the radio.

I'll call up and request a song. I'm not a perfect person. To actually no hubber stank? Oh, that is. I'm a sure. I knew it was one of those bands. That was their big, big song. The reason is you.

That was the, that was number one for ages. And I'm sure. So on our American tour list so far, we've got Gary, Indiana, French Hick, which is handy because they sound like they're relatively. And now, yeah, Huber Heights. So I think Ohio is actually borders, I think, Indiana as well. So so far. We're fine.

Yeah, we could probably just walk it. That is right. They play in the same division. So that's probably, yeah, anyway. Wow. How strange. Well, this does bring us to the end of the show. Before we go, we should tell people that they, if they haven't already, must listen to Josh Ours,

don't you know who I am podcast? Out every Thursday. Every Thursday, you have lots of guests from across the planet broadcasting network. Yes. But lots and lots of Australian comedy legends have been on your show. Yes. So I've had people like Hannah Gadsby. I've had Tom Gleeson.

Sean McAuliffe has been on. Lawrence Mooney. Lawrence Mooney. I've even had internationals. Damien Cow from Tizm. Damian Cow from Tism was on. That was a really nerve-wracking one because I wasn't sure if he was going to play along. But he did.

He was great. I've had people like Josie Long on. I've from the UK. I've had... I was on that, up. Oh, yeah, you were too. It was in this very room. No, it wasn't.

It was a triple R. No, it was in this room. Guarantee it. Well, I guarantee it was a triple. Anyway, I'm going to make some money. Oh, it was true, yes. Who else have I had? Beth Stelling from the States.

And anyway, lots and lots of people. So lots and lots of people. And you do a lot of live shows and you're doing more and more around the country. Yeah. Because your live shows are very, very popular. And some great, great, great episodes. I'm doing one in Brisbane. So if you're in Brisbane, I'm doing one on March 16.

at Hayebar and I can already tell you the line-up so it is Becky Lucas Melbuddle Cameron James Not so fantastic No I'm joking he's gay And Guy Montgomery

Oh my God, all-star They're four superstars Yeah it's going to fun So tickets at my website Joshua.com.com AU Perfect And my Melbourne shows are on sale as well

So I'm doing it if you're in Melbourne I'm doing a stand-up show called Joshel Talks as part of the Comedy Festival in March April and I'm also doing my podcast for live ones at the European Beer Cafe. All the details are at joshel.com.com. And your stand-up show is people are going to be walking out of that with their mouths wide open, I reckon.

That story is wild. Yeah, I tell a very, very true story. And it gets even, I went and found some old home videos. It gets even better. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. There's stuff I discovered that I did not know. And that's good.

That's exciting. Oh, I don't know what the story is, but I'm really excited to see the show. I'm excited to turn the mics off and ask him about it. I'm not going to spoil it now. Yeah, we don't want to ruin it here. But Dave, wrap this up so I can ask you. Well, just quickly,

we are also doing four shows at the Melbourne Comedy Festival of the European Beer Cafe. I believe we're on the different day to you. So you can make a weekend of it. Yeah. What are you, Saturday afternoons? Yeah, we're Sunday afternoons. Sunday afternoons.

And lots of pods going on at the beer cafe as usual. So that should be great fun. We're also in Adelaide for the first ever time. Just put tickets on sale a couple of weeks ago, March the 10th, which is a Sunday afternoon, the National Wine Center. Come on down. People tell us Adelaide is hard to crack.

So we're hoping that we can crack it. Like an egg. People say you only make the mistake of booking an Adelaide podcast once. We hope to make that mistake twice. You guys are going to crack it like your announcer and Ron our test is jumping over. Cop that Adelaide's back. We're going to crack you. Also, I'm doing my setup tour through.

Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane and Melbourne. And you can find out details about that at Matt Stewartcom.com slash gigs. And if you use the code, do go on, you get a sweet discount. Hell yeah. And you're going to leave my show with your mouth wide open. No, that's going for different reasons.

Yeah, wow. Have you found any video evidence about that? Because I have. Oh, great. Yeah, and I'll pass it on to you. Thank you. For a price. Yeah, well, I'll pay anything.

An egg. Here you go. Why did you have that with you? I don't know. You carry an egg. Always carry an egg. He was keeping it warm. Yeah.

That's weird. It's going to hatch. Cold egg. But all right. All right. I'm going to wrap this up right now. You can get in contact anytime at do go on pod.com and we are at do go on pod on all the social medias.

And our website is also the place to find links to our merchandise and the Patreon and to any of those live shows that I mentioned that we are doing. And we're going to announce a few more coming up. So keep an eye on the website. but I guess that really is the end of the show. Josh, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me. It was lots of fun.

A fantastic report, I've got to say. Yeah, well done. One of the best reports so far this year. Yes. Yeah. No, it was very, very, very exciting. So we hopefully have you on again sometime soon. A pleasure.

But until next time, I'll say thank you and goodbye. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later,

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