Do Go On - 17 - Lefthanded-ness

Episode Date: February 18, 2016

You may have noticed Jess mention being left handed once or twice (or a dozen times). Well now she's done a full report on it to get it out of her system. We find out about the different cultural and social stigmas and Dave learns that there is a word for how useless he is! Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. Welcome to DoGo on the podcast that you are listening to right now. You know what you're aware of that. This is why Dave normally does the intros, I suppose. Because look it, I've made a bloody mess of it.

Hi, Matt, do you want me to save you? No, I don't want you to save me. Just let me flounder. I'll never learn otherwise. No, I don't save me. All right, well, you are listening to Do Go On. No, I give me, let me... You are listening to Do Go on.

And I'd like to introduce my two co-hosts, my co-horts, Jess Perkins. How are you doing, Jess? I'm very well, thank you. Matt, how are you? Yeah, really good, thank you. Thank you for asking. That is very sweet of you. I appreciate that.

You are a sweetie pie. What? No, you're not. That's a lie. Who's our other host? Our other co-host, of course, is The Man, the Myth, the Legend. It's Dave Warnacki. Hello to both of you.

Hello listeners. How do you feel, Dave, with Matt doing that introduction? I feel. I feel no threats whatsoever. You're comfortable in the back seat? I'm comfortable. I'm feeling I'm good. I've got my hand out the window and there's a safe distance between me and the overhanging branches on the side of the road.

So you're a idiot. Feeling good. Yeah, that is. Hey, you brought up the car metaphor and I just bloody run with it. You are a very cautious kid, won't you? Overhanging branches on the road. Okay. Yeah, no.

Watch out for those. The silent killer of the roads. No, I think the Southern Club of the roads is ice. The drunk. Icey roads. Oh, right. Of course, of course. And how are you, Matthew?

I'm pretty good. Thank you, Dave. Feels really good. What a great week it's been. Just cruising? Basking in the glory of last week's episode. Oh, wow. And we're going to back it up this week, not with the report by either of it.

We are actually in the backseat. In the front seat this episode is Jess Perkins. Oh, a woman's driving. Which is perfectly safe. because they're very good drivers. Statistically, yeah, much safer option. Much safe, actually, yeah, and less accents. I don't like to generalise.

Me either. But generally speaking, women much safer drivers. And just better humans. I don't like to generalise, but generally speaking. You are correct. Yeah, fair enough. Yes, it is my turn this week. I'm a little bit nervous about this topic, but there's a bit of a backstory.

I was listening to Dave your most recent episode about the Curse of the Pharaohs. Yes, which hasn't so far taken any of our lives. Thank goodness. Hashtag hot for touch. Hot for touch. I'm still pushing that. Hash hash hashtag hot for touch. And I was listening to that and I brought something up during that episode that I realized I bring up a lot.

So there isn't actually a question for this week's topic. I'm just going to give you clues. And I think you'll be able to pick it fairly quickly because it's something that I make mention of in nearly every episode. Oh, hashtags. It's not hashtags. It's usually in reference to somebody. You'll say somebody's name and I go, oh. Oh, left-handed.

Left-handed. Great topic. We are doing handedness or left-handedness. Handedness. Handedness. That is such a good title. It's a really hard word. Is it a word hand-diveness?

Handedness is. There is a better word for it, but it's really complicated and it's really hard to say. So I will be saying handedness for this. So is the other word even more? Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, something. It's something. You know, sometimes, Jess, I don't know if you've noticed this. And I used to think it was accidental, but I'm sounding it maybe it's on purpose.

When you're doing a report and Dave's like, there's a question. And I reckon he knows that you don't know the answer to specifically. And then he'll push again when it's quite clear that you don't have it in front of you. No. You're like a jerk. Honestly, Dave. And I don't say this lightly. It's been on the tip of my tongue for a few episodes.

now. Fuck off. Thank you, Matt. Thank you. The catchphrase that has worked against me time and time again. No, I'm just a very inquisitive person. I love how we think that fuck off is our catchphrase. It's a term we coined.

We're the only people to think of it. We've had people tweet in saying that they are enjoying that as a catchphrase. Yeah, it's pretty great. I'm trying to find it now because I think I had it somewhere in my notes. But it is known as handedness. That's a perfectly reasonable word for it. Fine, let's go with that. I didn't know that.

No, no, I think Dave is right. Let's keep, let's just say bogged down in this minor detail. You absolute joke. I'm trying to move on. Alrighty. I'm holding up a finger on my left-handedness and guess which one of it is. The pinkie. He's thumb!

Yay! Thumbs up. Thumbs up for friendship. I went with pinky. It doesn't mean it. Like, oh boy, that shows him. A pinky promise I won't be pedantic anymore. A pinky swear.

We've pinky sweared on the podcast. All right, Jess, I'm actually quite excited for this topic. Should we go around the table and say what hand that we write with? Yes, yeah, absolutely. This is exciting. Dave, would you like to go first? Well, so... Wait, can we give him a drum roll?

No. Yeah, it's a shit. We had a drum in here for so long. We hated it, and now we need it. We used to set up around like a drum kit that was in the corner of the studio. I had to climb over it to get to my seat. Why I didn't just move? I don't know, but that was my seat.

Anyway, yes, Dave. I only bring this up because I want to talk about how I'm right-handed, but I actually play sports and things with my left hand. And there's a name for that, which I will explain. Oh, okay, we'll get to that, which is good. But one thing, because I feel like that maybe I should have been left-handed when I was growing up. I've got terrible handwriting with my right hand. And my left hand is much stronger from playing slightly stronger.

Well, it is much stronger, but you're going to. Comparatively to most people, it's still a lot less full of strength. Still very, very weak. Yes, exactly. That's what I'm trying to say. There's quite a preamble to whatever Dave's about to say here. I just wanted to bring up that, yeah. You think you should have been a lefty?

I think I should have been the lefty. So maybe this podcast will win me over. Yeah, and I'll start writing recruited. Because that's how it works, right? You join a team. You get sort into a house, Harry Potter style with a hat. Yep. Yeah, yeah.

And how about you, Matt? You just straight up. I'm straight up. Straight up, straight down the line right. So there's no way of winning you over to the dark side? No, I occasionally putt left-handed. Just for fun. But, yeah.

That's about it. That's about it. You crazy. And as you may have guessed, because I am doing this topic and because I constantly bring up left-handers, I am left-handed. Have you been left-handed your whole life? Yes, it was a new phase. Didn't convert.

I was born. Born and raised, lefty. And very left. Like, if I get to a fork in the road, I'll turn left. No matter what. No matter what. I favor anything left. Even if the GPS is saying turn right.

I'd probably turn left. Was it Zoolander that could only turn? He couldn't turn left. I couldn't turn left. Because there's actually, there's four types of handedness. Four? There's four types. Right.

So there's left-handed, right-handed, obviously. Mixed-handedness, which is when you favour one hand for some tasks, but the other for other tasks. So you would technically be, you would probably call yourself mixed-handed. So I'm a mixed-handed. I mean, if somebody says you left right-handed, you wouldn't go, well, actually, you'd just say right-handed. Yeah, I mean, when I was a kid, I probably did. but now I'm an adult I'm not as much of a wanky

You know when you're a kid You just want to tell people's stuff Actually Stuff that makes you different And therefore kind of interesting Why do you think I talk so much About being left-handed? I'm like, I'm special

You're not It probably depends on the scenario as well right Yeah absolutely Like if someone's going You like to hire some golf clubs And I say you left or right-handed You don't get well out right with my right hand But I play golf left

Okay so you want left Well let me finish I play hockey with my... Yeah, exactly. It does very much depend. And so you've got mixed-handedness and ambidexterity,

so when somebody's ambidextrous. See, I always thought ambidextrous was when you did a bit with both, but is that when you have... You can do either. Equal control. Equal. So I find a lot of people

will be like, oh, you left-handed, that's cool. I'm ambidextrous. I'm like, no, you're not fucking. Like, it makes me really angry. They might be mixed-handed.

They're mixed-handed. Because, like, less than one percent, or about 1% of the population are naturally ambidextrous. It can be taught. You can teach yourself to be better, but there's got to be a natural element to it. And it's literally equal. So your writing would be the same left and right.

Dave's trying to write Dave with his left hand now. You do have pretty bad writing. I can barely tell the difference. I was actually going to bring in some left-handed scissors for you guys to try, and then I forgot. Is there such a thing? Yes, there is. And I was going to say lots of right-handers don't know.

Yeah, it's because the blade goes the other way. They angles differently. so I can't use right-handed scissors. Oh, so your whole life you haven't adapted to us? Oh, I can if I absolutely have to, but they'll be very poorly cut. I'll take a photo of... I'll take a photo and tweet this out, Matt and I.

Can you know which one's which? Right, left. Yep, and what about Dave? Left, right. But I think my right hand is only slightly better than my left hand. And it's not because I'm good with my left, it's just because I'm terrible with my right. I'm equally terrible.

Does that make me ambidextrous? You would be ambivalous or ambi sinister, who are people that demonstrate awkwardness with both hands. So neither of them are better than the other. Does that mean you're equally untalented? Equally untalented. Shit. So, yeah, you can, I would say you can classify yourself as mixed-handedness.

What do you do with your left? So sports, throwing things? Okay, no. See, this is the bad thing. Oh, this is weird, okay. What's Matt looking up? It's just porn. Oh, hang on.

It was left-handed porn. It was on topic. Relevant. It was relevant. That's funny. It is funny. Left-handed pawns. I'm sure there are left-handed pawnsters.

They must be. Actually, this guy looks, he seems to be ambidextrous. No, he's ambi-sinister. He has no talent with either hand. This is a real mess. Dave, what do you do left-handed? So, I'll do right-hand first. So I write with my right hand, but I do throwing action with my right hand.

But then we swap to the left hand for bat sports like cricket, baseball, golf and tennis, which when I did tennis lessons growing up, they tried to convince me to swap to right-handed because a serving action is similar to throwing. Ah, yeah, okay, fair enough. So I, but I'm a better throw with my right, even though my left hand is stronger and more powerful in the arm. Weird, okay. It's very strange.

That is a bit strange. I will also say that my terrible handwriting, this is quite embarrassing. When I was in prep, so first year of primary school, my hands was so small that I I had to go to a special class because they were too small to properly hold a pencil. I'm serious. I'm serious. So I was treated like a learning difficulty, if you were. And I had to once a week go out with this guy and be taught to write bed.

And I never got good at writing. Oh, that's so great. Well, did you have left-handed kids in the class because a lot of them were like hook? So they sort of, they write almost upside down because we smudge everything as we write. Oh, so they get their hand and they curl back around. They curl it right around. And a lot of my friends would almost write sort of upside down. But luckily, when I was in prep, my prep teacher was left-handed.

His name was Mr. Wright. I mean, you can't write this shit. And he made sure... You wouldn't want to. No, you wouldn't want to. It's no good. He made sure all the lefties had... We had these special grips on our pencils that made us hold our pens properly.

And he made sure we didn't, like, write weird. So I write proper... I hold my pen a bit wrong, but I write properly. You write proper. Yeah, I'll write proper good butt. Speaking of the things that you do or being told to try with your right hand, I learnt guitar in early high school and I played left-handed. And then a couple of years ago, I bought a ukulele and I wanted to teach myself the ukulele and I decided I was going to string it left-handed because I played guitar left-hand. It's more comfortable for me.

And I was talking to the guy in the shop and I was like, oh, can you, like you said on the phone, you'd be able to help me restring it left. And he went, just try right. Just do it right for a bit. What a lazy bastard. Yeah, I know. And I play ukulele right-handed. So you did try it. I did try right.

And now I don't want to go back because I have to re-teach myself how to play. And it's like, well, just play right-handed. It sounds like you are definitely a mix-mixologist. I'm not. I am 100% left. How dare you? And I am 100% ambi-sinister. Ambicinister.

Terrible at all. Now, so there's a lot of studies into whether or not handedness is genetic. at one time there was hope for finding a single gene that would be responsible for hand a cure. A cure. Hope for finding a cure and we still hold out for only. There's always hope. At one time there was hope and there still is. So, but no, did they find this gene? No, because there's, what really happened was this general realization that no complex behavior can be explained by just one thing. It's either, it's a genetic or environmental. It can sort of be both. So, so you can be affected by the environment. Yeah and the fact that they kept failing to find a gene

responsible for handedness is just sort of further proves that point. They just, they can't, there's no direct link. There's indications, but nothing that's solid. And the German researchers observed that there are several recent studies suggesting that handiness may not be a monogenic, but instead a multifactorial trait that is determined by multiple genetic and environmental factors. Matt's nodding like, yep, he wrote that, he wrote that. It's a good one. Word for word, spot on, Matt. Yeah. So, but that said, handiness displays a, what they call, a complex inheritance pattern.

So, for example, if both parents of a child are left-handed, there's a 26% chance of that child being left-handed. But that's if both parents are left, there's still only a 26% chance. Like, right is just so much more dominant. Right, but if all four of your parents are left-handed, 50% chance. Yeah. Right. Eight parents? Your four fathers.

Straight in there. Straight in. 100% lefty. My mum's are lefty, but maybe one of my sisters is left. You should probably know that. Really? You think that's the kind of thing like you should know what your sister's up to? I think you should probably know if your siblings are left or right-handed, yeah.

Why? I don't think I do. Well, then she's probably right-handed. But my dad is left-handed. I reckon my younger sister's left-handed. But you know that. You know he's left-handed, which means you are aware, so your sister's right-handed. I can tell you that now.

Your siblings are all right-handed. Okay. Because you would know. Because we make a big old song and dance about it. Yeah, I reckon, I know my cousin's left hand because he bangs on about it a lot. Exactly. We are obnoxious about it. So what kind of, where can you bring it up?

Oh, anywhere. Absolutely anywhere. I always think golf course is pretty clear because it's like you're borrowing the clubs, if someone's clubs or whatever. You can't go. Oh, you might have a tray at your driver? Oh, your fucking driver's a bit... It's a bit backwards.

A bit backwards. A little bit backwards. It's a bit pointy on the front there. I am... Because, like, if you put a lefty next to a right-hand or at a dinner table, we'll, like, bump elbows with you because it's the wrong hand. But my sister... Do you swap your fork and knife?

No. I eat right-handed. Oh, see, I eat left-handed. I eat with my... Wait, so... What? So fork in your left hand or your right-hand? Right-hand.

I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah, so every time someone sets the table, It's polite, I believe, to hold the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right hand. And that's what most people do normally. But you swap it over. I swap it over. That's impolite, though. See, I just learned by following my right-handed family, so I have fork in the left.

Maybe I'm a little more mixed hand than I thought. There you go. Ah, I'm learning about myself. Ultimately, that's what this podcast is all about. Would you guys have any idea what percentage of the population are left-handed? Yes. 10%. It's close to 10, I believe.

Correct. Yeah, it's 10 to 12. Yes. 10 is sort of a good, because some say 7 to 10. So I'd say, let's just stick with 10. Matt and I just high-fived with our right hands. I actually would have guessed higher, but then when you said... Yes to 10%.

When you said yes to 10%, I thought, no, I reckon actually, yeah, it's probably around 10%. I'll stick with 10. But when you said that only 26% of kids of two left-handed parents, That, yeah, that seems like that should be higher than that. Doesn't it? Yeah. If I understand science and I don't, then I think that should definitely be higher. Well, in his book, Right Hand, Left Hand,

and also called Chris McManus, argues that the proportion of left-handers is increasing, and left-handed people as a group have historically produced an above-average quota of high achievers. Yeah, right, maybe that's why they seem, they're more visible. I think... I think... It's pretty hard to quantify who... was a high achiever and who isn't.

True. I think, well, Jess, just before we started rolling, was saying that she is quite a high achiever. Big time. And she's a left-hander. But, yeah, I think, do you know what I do? We don't laugh there. It sounds serious.

I know. I'm kidding. Because Jess is a high-chiever. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Big time. Big time.

All right. Did you have to go to a class about not being able to hold a pencil? I don't think so. He's so cute, tiny. That is. How are you so little? Were you born pre? Protect that guy.

No, it wasn't prim, but very small child. To the point... Still a very small man. I'd have a lunch order on Friday, so I'd get a half a hot cheese roll, and everyone would be pretty excited if I finished that half roll. Oh, my gosh, you're so cute. Thank you. But you were tiny Tim.

Well, yes, I was the tiny Tim. What day is it, Dave Warnocky? But today, sir, it's Christmas Day. I reckon the left-handers are probably rising because it's like, I imagine in the olden days people are like, no, you don't, like they're getting beaten out of them. Oh, absolutely. You are a right-hander and they have their left-hand hit with a ruler by the t-shirt.

You're going to talk about that at all? Yeah, yeah. I've got a lot about that as well. Yeah, it feels like that is the olden days is a fuck time. And so now nobody gives a shit, so if you're left-handed, cool, you're left-handed. I'm just quietly offended, but I will keep that to myself. Oh, no, fair enough. If you want to kick me off the podcast, that's fine.

Wait, which video offended for? Well, Jess, operating the laptop with their left hand. It makes me feel sick. It's the devil at work. I see. I thought you might have been offended by us super patronising you about your childhood of of smallness. Your tiny, tiny, tiny childhood.

Oh, I'm fine. Your Widdle. A widdle childhood. Widdle Dave. Chris McManus. This is in his... Oh, left hand, right hand. Right hand, left hand.

Sorry. Oh, so he puts right first. does he? I see how Chris operates. Trust me. Once we get onto society and the history, everybody puts right first. Left-handers' brains, apparently,

are structured differently from right-handers in ways that can allow them to process language, spatial relations, and emotions in more diverse and potentially creative ways. Also, a slightly larger number of left-handers than right-handers are especially gifted in music and math. And a study of musicians in professional orchestras found a significantly greater proportion

of talented lefties. even among those who played instruments that seem designed for right-handers such as violin. Mm-hmm. Oh. Now, before you have a go at me for being biased, it's not all good news for lefties. Wait, did you have written down, now before you... Come and look at my laptop, I have now, before you have a go at me before being biased, comma. Because you sounded like you're reading and I'm like, you've written this for a performance.

Because I'm realizing in this research, it's so one-sided, it's so left-stop. excited. But it isn't all good news for us. Now, before you say that what I'm about to say is wrong, yeah, exactly. Shut your traps. What a character. Are you happy? You pointed that out. Thank you for noticing that. Dave. Dave is giving me stink eye. Sorry. Hey, guys, I just thought that was a funny thing to do. I do it as well, but I just perform it a little better, a bit more naturally. By going, by doing this?

Makes it seem natural. Hey, I was saying, yeah, that... Before you have a go with me. People probably, people probably haven't noticed that until you just called it up. Because you edited it out, that's why. All right. I feel like that Jess, you're wildly left. Matt, you're wildly right.

And because I'm Ambie Sinister, I'm sort of the one in the middle trying to control relationship. Sinister means left, right? Yeah. So what are you, your... What did you call yourself? Mixed sinister. Ambi sinister. That means that's the one where you're useless with both.

I wonder why it only mentions the left part. Ambi, oh yeah, okay, maybe because ambidextrous means being able to use both. Right. And in all... Because the word dexterous implies dexterity. Yeah. But sinister implies leftness. Yeah, but left is bad.

Right. Yeah. I'm an ambi left. Based on everything. Again, I'll get to it. Shut your fucking. face. You're going to talk about the right side of the father? That's where Jesus resides. Yes. Great. Oh, wow. So what I was saying before, my scripted line, now before you have a

go with me for being biased. Coma. It's not all good news for lefties. According to a 2014 study, right-handed people have higher cognitive skills, less behavioral and speech problems, less often have learning disabilities and more often graduate their school. 40% of people with schizophrenia are left-handed, and research indicates that left-handers are more likely to become alcoholics, delinquents, and dyslexic. That seems something about the link between being a left-handed and becoming an alcoholic. That seems... Yeah, well, I didn't do the study.

Wow. But I do... Did you do this study? Yeah, I did this study. What I quite like about that, though, is that... And I'm going to feel like an idiot for pointing this out, because people never notice it until I do point it out. But I have a tiny bit of a lisp.

I think I've pointed out to you once, Matt, when we were on the train one time. And so now I'm kind of like, oh, it's because I'm left-handed. It's not because I had braces and, I can't say S properly sometimes. When do you... As someone who has been ridiculed on the show before

for mispronouncing the word sixth. Sixth. I feel like that it is my time... Can you start again, day? No. We're ridiculing Jess here. Which, I've never noticed. Yeah, I can't say it like Kitt.

For someone who has three S's, two in their first, and one in their surname. So how do you say kittens? Kittins. Do you think that's the secret to your adorableness? Yeah, big time. Kittens. Kittens. I can't.

Or X can be hard to like sex. But the T is the part you're mispronance. Yeah, kittens is a bad one. You've been described as adorable, like. By myself. Yeah, I described. Oh, was it always by you? No.

I remember it coming up like three times recently, but it was all, you always. It's probably always me. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, it's probably got nothing to do with the Lispin. Nah. It's just your own body. But it's because I'm left-handed,

it's because I'm left-handed that I can't say S properly sometimes. Wow, and because I'm Amby Sinister, I can't say any words properly. EG. 6. You can't do anything properly. I just, I said it so quick that Matt couldn't hear it. I love how somehow, me with the worst voice in the world, that's a talking voice. But that's also not true.

What kind of voice are you? Well, the world is a big statement, but I've got like a super dopey voice. It's funny that you two, have somehow become the ones who have because I feel like you're on the offensive to cover up your own. Probably what it is. That's how I live my life.

Hey, you've got a big nose. God, him, he can never get me back now. Isn't that right? Your weird red bearded friend. So we're talking about beating it out of left-handers. I want to talk a little bit about the social stigma around being left-handed.

At various times in history, left-handedness has been seen as many things. A nasty habit. I love that, like picking your nose. Cut it out. Cut it out. Stop that. A mark of the devil. Left-hand is the children of the devil.

A sign of neurosis. I love a good nose pick. Oh, Dave. But continue. What? Which hand, though? No. Left.

Interesting. Left-handed nose picker. What you do in your own time is your business. But don't put that on the podcast. Sorry, everyone. No, I'm leaving it in. It's been seen as a sign of rebellion. That's what my picking the nose is.

Of a criminal nature and also homosexuality. If you're a left-hander, you're also gay, apparently. Makes sense, doesn't it? Yeah, I think that... But it's also been seen as a trait indicating creativity and musical ability. So, hey, we can be devil children, but, oh man, we can sing. Paul McCartney, Jimmy Hendrix. Don't rule them all. I've got some later.

Sorry. And that's all three of them. Damn it! Some scholars note that left-handers may, this is the best, may be one of the last unorganized minorities in society because they have no collective power and no real sense of common identity. Additionally, left-handers are often discriminated against by social, educational, and religious institutions. Some customs and even languages set the left-hander apart as different and even bad.

I love that. We're unorganized minority and we're discriminated against. Yeah, just get your shit together and overthrow this. with this right-handed. Yeah. Well, you think about it. Like the word left in English, it comes from the Anglo-Saxon word lift,

L-Y-F-T, which means weak or broken. Even the Oxford English Dictionary defines left-handed as meaning crippled, defective, awkward, clumsy, inapt, characterized by underhanded, underhanded dealings, ambiguous, doubtful, questionable, ill-omened and illegitimate. Wow, what a rap sheet. That's left-handed.

That's the... Jess, that's you. Isn't it? I'm very awkward and clumsy. They didn't have adorable in there, which is weird. Must have run out of characters. They'll probably update that this year. In the dictionary.

Yeah, it ran out of characters in the dictionary. Even phrases in English suggest a negative view of left-handedness. So, for example, a left-handed compliment is actually an insult, which you may have heard. No, please. A left-handed... Oh, the phrase left-handed compliment. Is that a back-handed compliment? Is that similar to that?

No. Oh, maybe. Yeah, maybe kind of similar. But, like, yeah, I suppose it would be. But a left-handed compliment is an insult. So, yeah, I guess a back-handed compliment is in a way, isn't it? Yeah, it's like, hey, hey, Jess, that's a pretty good top you're wearing for you. Yeah, yeah.

I think that's like a back-handed comment. Not the best example, but that's okay. Well, it's just something I wanted to get off my chest. Thank you. This top is a good top for me. People will often say someone is speaking left-handed if they're drunk. Have you ever heard that? No.

Oh, I was talking left-handed. It's when you're drunk. No. But I have spurken left-handed at a couple. the times if you know what I mean. No idea. What do you mean? I'm an alcoholic, I'm left-handed.

And all through history, left-hands were forced to use their right hands instead of their preferred left, as you were sort of saying before. Even a couple of my uncles were forced to write with their right hand, but word natural lefties. Really? So what do they do now?

I think one of them, my mum's brother has gone back and writes with his left hand, and my dad's brother, still writes with his right hand but does most other things left-handed he prefers the left. This is kind of interesting so until very recently in Taiwan

and still in mainland China left-handed people were strongly encouraged to switch to being right-handed or at least switch to writing with the right-hand and that's due to the importance of stroke order with writing Chinese characters because it's sort of developed for the comfortable use for right-handed people

Does that make sense? Like, because the stroke order is really important in their characters. So it's just better to be right-handed. Right. Yeah. Which is kind of in some ways, because like you were saying, with the smudging, in English, it is also easier to be right-handed. Because we write left to right.

So I would, my hand is going over the fresh ink. So it's just dragging across. So my hand's always black, covered in ink, and then my pages are always smudged. Oh, so you still, you still, you're, you. You still get a smudged hand now. You haven't developed a way to avoid that. Nah. Should have.

Didn't. Oh, that's okay. No, I just wasn't sure if people did avoid that. Yeah, I'm sure they do. The crook hand. That's why people would have done that. Absolutely. Or if I, I can do it if I, but it's less comfortable.

Just like quickly riding, my hand just sort of drags along. And when I was in primary school, like, the cool thing to get with these like colorful gel pens that was super cool. But I couldn't use them because they just smudge everywhere. I remember those. They were great. They were so good. The four colors. Yeah.

Or you'd get the glittery ones too? Fancy. I don't know if you... That was super cool. You were a thousand years old, shut. Yeah, come on, man. You were selling them at the news agency, your part-time, 17-year-old job.

Oh, we were 10. I did do a part-time job at a news agency. Really? Yeah. Did you sell those pens? Patterson, Tats, News, and Post. I know it well. I, um...

You know, obviously out there can see this, but I'm... I was talking about being such a bad handwriter that I do that, get ink all over my hands, and I'm right-handed. Yeah. Well, you're just not bright.

Constantly. You're bad at both sides, remember? I'm bad at both sides, but I am amazingly good at some things. Such as. Such as? Introducing this podcast. I don't want to tip my own horn here, but yeah, that's right. Great speaking voice.

Was that a... Do you... No, that was a forehander. Oh, because you have picked on me in the past. Anyway, please go on. That's why we let you do it. It's because you're very good at it. What we let you do it?

What hand do you hold the mic with? Does it affect that? When you're doing stand-up, you hold left-handed? Yep. How about you, Matt? I think I'm right. I do both. I never really think about it.

Yeah, I'll switch, but I'm pretty sure I'm right. I'm so scripted that there are sometimes points when I know I need to swap hands. Like, I do a joke where I look at my watch, so I know before that I've already passed the mic over to my right hand because my watch is on my left. That's a nice peek behind the curtain. Yeah, I know. My microphone technique, I prefer the left. because I'm so used to hosting my game show fact-de-fact

where I have to control the laptop with my right hand that now that's become natural. Yeah, there you go. That's good. So, yeah, that's... Yeah, I'd prefer left. But I never thought about that at loud. So I just thought I'd let you guys hear me just think about it.

Isn't it interesting? That's nice. It must be in on that moment. So I was talking about like the stroke order in Chinese characters. On the flip side, there's right to left alphabets like Arabic and Hebrew, and they're generally considered easier to write with the left hand. So, there you go. I'll just...

Yeah, it must be difficult if you're writing in Arabic if you're right-handed. Do you have the same... I imagine you have the same problem that you have when you write English left-handed. But do those cultures have more prevalence of a left-handed? No, I'd assume it would still sort of be the same prevalence, whether or not they're encouraged or... Well, maybe not encouraged. Nobody's encouraged to be left-handed, but whether they're discouraged from being left-handed, I suppose.

Nobody's like, oh, you can kind of favour your left. Why not be left-handed? Off you go. Like, it's just whether or not. not, it's, um, uh, not discouraged. Yeah, sure. What's kind of, um, weird and interesting is, uh, how it comes across in lots of cultures and even religions.

So, um, the angel Michael sits on God's right side. Why, while Samuel is on his left-hand side, um, and the attribution of evil to the left and good to the right appears in various forms throughout the world. Um, many artistic expressions of the devil show him to be left-handed. Oh. What's he holding? the pitch for. Probably a pitchfork.

Just a severed head, maybe. Holding it up. There's pictures of him writing in his journal. Dear diary. Another big day. Satan here. Tell you what, there's this girl in my class, and she is a sweetie pie. I think I'm going to ask her to go to the disco with me.

Yeah, disco inferno. Burn, baby. Burn. Very good. That wasn't even pre-written. It wasn't. That was I'm having a look at your screen. I'm not there.

How about when you dance? It was that good that you'd think that's been workshopped. That's planned that. Yeah, you set that up and spiked it down yourself. Do you dance with two left feet? No, I'm very coordinated. I can boogie-woogie with the best of them. Yeah, it's interesting that it's not two right feet

because it would be the same thing, right? Yeah, exactly. It's the thing. It's always left at seen as clumsy or shit. It's just a funnier punchline, I think. It's a funnier word left. In witchcraft texts in medieval Europe It was the left hand that was used to harm or curse another person

It was always the left So witches would touch somebody with their left hand And that would inflict the curse upon them So obviously even these witches themselves Believes that the left was Yeah Yeah And it's really funny because both

Jewish and Christian traditions Are strongly right-handed in their practices So for Catholics, Anglicans and other denominations the priest must present the communion wafer with the right hand. Yeah. And you have to accept with your right hand, which stressed me out.

Stress me out so much as a kid. Okay, so as someone who's never taken communion, do you have to take it with your right hand? Well, you've got, you sort of accept it in your right hand, and then I would always take it. I would then take it out of my right hand with my left hand and pop it in me go up. When I was a kid out.

Side of the cross is always right hand. That's right. But I instinctively do it left hand, and I'm like, oh, no. Shaking's always right-handed, but that's not religious. Yeah. I had a, my priest when I was a kid, he had it.

I don't know if it was a list board, just an interesting way to talk. And he'd say, so when they held out the piece of bread, the Jesus bread, he'd go, body of Christ. Christ. He'd hold the airs. Body of Christ. Oh, great. Body of Christ. This is like to 100 people in a queue.

It's like, come on, go, come on, come on. So everyone got that. We got things to do. It's Sunday. We're going to go. He had to say that 100 times every week. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, probably 100 plus.

This was in the 90s. There were people were going to church back then. Yeah. But yeah, I would feel guilty. I would be made to feel guilty. I mean, Catholic church, so it was a lot of Catholic guilt regardless. But, yeah, if I ever did the sign of the cross with my left hand, I'd be like, oh, no. And then I'd like redo it again with my right hand. Yeah, imagine, imagine that God, you know, existed.

Wouldn't that be crazy? But also imagine if he existed and he was like, This child just did the sign of the cross of the left hand. Well, you're going to hell, you little fuck. Good one, dickhead. Yeah. That's probably what he'd say. Sorry to any religious people listening.

Well, look, we're all religious in some way. In our own ways. In my way, I'm religious in the way that I'm not at all religious. Speaking of fun facts about religion, Oh. The right hand is mentioned positively 100 times in the Bible, while the left hand is mentioned only 25 times, all negatively. Wow.

Right? So even like through the Bible, it's negative. In many Islamic countries, people are forbidden to eat with their left hand, which is considered unclean because it's used to cleaning your body after your poop. That's just the hygienic rule. Smart. Smart play. Yeah, but I'm left-handed and eat left-handed. So I would just go there and offend everybody.

Additionally, public displays But you'd have to, before you go, relax, guys I wipe my ass with the right hand. We're all good. Guys, I got a bidet. No worries. No wiping. I just shake it off.

I don't have an anus. I'm fine. I don't have an anus. I blew it off weeks ago. I just sweat it out. It just slowly sweats out. You'll see. You'll see it come.

Well, there goes a bit. So not only can you not eat with your left hand, but also just any public display or use of the left hand. against the law in some Islamic countries. So I would be scrooge. So what do you mean use of the left hand? Well, I'm guessing it's fairly general, so like

handing money over left-handed maybe, waving. You know, when the president has done a speech and everyone says a round of applause, they slap this side. Just on the chest. I just did that with my left hand. Oh no. I swapped. I swapped. We're okay. Yeah, no. By that time you've been taken out of the back

and shot. They know. They're onto it. But it's not, again, it's Not all bad. Oh, great. You've got some perks? Perks, perhaps perks. Among the Eskimos, every left-handed person is viewed as a potential sorcerer. In a positive...

Positive sense, are they? Or is that burn at the stake? No, I think it's good. Like, it's friendly sorcerer. Oh. Someone who provides you with stuff is able to go out and get stuff. Someone who... Sources things.

I understand where you were going with that. Oh, another plea that is. Not your best. In Morocco. The left hand is considered to be a scar, S-G-A, a word that means either a devil or cursed person. Is that and that's a positive? No.

Hold on, but that's Morocco. That's a long way away from where the Eskimos. Yeah, I know, but that was all in the one point, so I'm guessing it's probably all negative. But I'm going to take it positively because I reckon being a sorcerer would be pretty sick. Remember where Mickey Mouse was? Yeah, he had a good time. He had a great time.

Oh, Fantasia. Box office flop. Yeah, and tough movie. you know when you're a kid and you're like a Mickey Mouse movie oh I hate this why is he dancing with broomsters stop it who wants to watch this is what's the market for this you really lost the market there walt um the incas thought left-handers were capable of healing and that they possessed magical abilities pretty disappointing when you weren't performing any miracles you don't know that and you're like I'm just riding left-handed maybe you just haven't

Give me a chance. Maybe that is the miracle. The North American Zuni tribe believed that left-handedness signified good luck. So remember how this podcast, you guys did a couple of episodes and it was no good. And then you're like, hey, we need a third voice. Let's get Jess Perkins. And now it's great. Yes.

Well, maybe it was a little bit of left-handed charm you needed. Yeah, we could hear our right-handed voices and no one wanted to listen to that. No one wants that. No one's that. You need the charm and arrogance of the left-hander. It definitely has improved since you got on board. Stop fishing for us to say that every week. I just want you guys to love me.

We love you, Jess. Thank you. Despite all the left-handed awkwardness. There's a couple of nicknames for, there's lots of nicknames for... Molly Duker? Molly Duker. Very good. That's one of the ones I have. I've only got a couple here because a few of them I just couldn't even figure out what they meant.

And any time I googled them, people were kind of like, I think it might be this. Like, there's no real, they can't actually find, yeah, thank you. Can you explain Moly Duker is an Australian thing, apparently. Duke's referring to your fists. And then they used Molly, from what I can read, to imply that you fought like a girl. Oh. Yeah. Oh my God.

I used that term a lot. I didn't realize it was so offensive. You far like a girl. Southpour is one that I think we may even talked about before. I think you mentioned a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. I believe. Toot?

Was there a Southpour? No, I think you lied. I think you were joking. I was talking about that. But Southport, did you look at what it means? Yeah, so it's derived from baseball. I thought it was to do with the batter. It's actually to do with the pitcher.

So parks were often built with the home plate in the western corner of the field. And when a left-handed pitcher was facing the batter, his throwing arm would be the closest to the south. Thus the term Southpore. And a Southball boxer is when someone is left-handed. But they use their right hand as their main punch. Their right hand and right foot are forward. Yeah.

Yeah. Even though you're left-handed. That's interesting. Left-handed person leading with the right, which is very strange. I think that's how I would hit. Because I did Taekwondo and I would, yeah, I would sit like, I would be a Southpaw. There's also, my dad always calls me a cack hander. Cac just means shit. Oh, shit-hander.

Oh, and that would go back to the... The Arabic. Yeah, people would white their bums with their left hand. Your dad's a bit of a charmer. Isn't he just? What is it? CAC and a C-A-C-C-C-C. Is that why Cary Ann Cannelly was known as CAC?

No. Because it's her initials. I knew that for sure. Dickhead. Cac. I've got a list here. We'll see again. I love Cack if we're talking about Carrie Ann Cineley.

Sure. I keep setting myself up for being taken out of context for that end part of the episode. I love Cack. I just did it again to make it easier. Sorry, but I'm trying to bring it back to Pooh caca. That's Spanish for poo. Very good.

So as you may have heard that the left hemisphere of the brain controls the right side of the body and the right hemisphere controls the left, right? So, did you know that? Define hemisphere. Literally the left side of the brain. So left side from your perspective or from someone looking into your brain. It's got to be your perspective, right? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Not somebody looking at you, but like if you're on, if you're standing, looking at my brain, the left side is controlling the right side of my body, and the right hemisphere of the brain controls the left. I thought this was common knowledge. Is that not common knowledge? Did you know? I've heard a lot of people claim that different parts of the brain,

and then I've heard other people dispute. Yeah. But possibly not this. It's one part. Some people used to say, it's not true. I don't think is that one left is creative and right as logical or something. Yeah. Or vice versa.

Now that's disputed, I believe. Yeah, I think so. Well, yeah. So it is disputed. but it's disputed in terms of left-handedness, right-handedness, that sort of thing. But those parts of the brains are responsible for those tasks. That's not that disputed from my understanding. It's not that dispute.

No, no, but I don't think it has been. I did psychology at school, and that was one of the things we looked at. So, like, the left brain, so you right-handers would be, or the argument is you'd be better with your logic, analysis, sequencing. You'd think in a much more linear way. mathematical Dave you're always with the numbers language Matt you speak seven and a half languages facts Dave fact-de-fact need I say more and what's a and what's a left hand are supposed to exhibit the right side of the brain is more to do with creativity imagination

thinking more holistically rather than in a more linear way intuition rhythm non-verbal sorts of things visualizations and we daydream a bit more which is quite appropriate but It doesn't mean that, like, right-handers have no imagination. It doesn't mean left-handers can't be mathematical. It's just that those sides of the brain's control those things. Okay. So you're saying if your left hemisphere of the brain is stronger, you'll be a right-hander and vice versa.

Not, like, it's not set in concrete. And I'm no scientist. So does that mean that did you say that the left, if you're a left-hander, the things that you're right hemisphere of your brain is better at. Yeah. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, that's the argument, yes.

Well, I could have just, I don't know why I need, I didn't need to ask you. I could just listen to the podcast back when it goes out. Classic right-hander. Classic right-hander. Not thinking, no thinking. I was daydreaming. That was a left-handed trait. Very good.

See, that's, that's what I mean. Like, it's, obviously we can all do all of those things. It's just a tendency one way or the other. They find that lefties do excel more, or like a lot of people, in the arts would be left-handed. So some sort of online quiz we can do that we'll tell us if we're left or right-handed. That would be great. That would be very...

Question one. Which hand are you right with? Right hand. Oh, there's only one question in this quiz. I am right-handed. There you go. There you go. I'm not very creative after all.

I have a list of famous lefties if you'd like to hear those. Yes, please. So, US presidents. There's been quite a few. We got Garfield, Hoover, Truman, Ford. Which Hoover? Herbert Herbert Hoover

Pardon me I thought you were implying Jay Edgar Hoover Who's the founder of the FBI Yeah well he's not a president Yeah that's what I was disputing No Herbert Hoover Truman

Gerald Ford Ronald Reagan George H.W. Bush That's the senior That's senior Bill Clinton And our current Our current US President Barack Obama is the lefty

So is that me Three of the last five Or four of the last five Only George W has not been Is there a time to the Illuminati here, do you think? I feel like he might have been as well, but he's not on that list there, so I could be wrong. But I had a feeling he was too, maybe.

Yeah, because I think the left-handers are often reptilian shape-shifters as well. So that makes sense that they would have so often been US presidents. It totally makes sense. Yeah, it does make sense. It's funny that they're so open about their. They don't mind at all. Yeah, they don't seem to mind. Yeah.

That's a jess. Isn't. Yeah. That is me. I do do that. Yeah, I've picked it up. You're right. I am adorable.

Yeah. It doesn't look like it, no. George W. George Jr. No deal. Then I've also got some musicians. So a few that you mentioned before. Kurt Cobain.

Phil Collins. Fabulous Phil. Noel Gallagher. Of Oasis. Oh yeah, Noel plays upside down, yeah. Judy Garland. Ah, Juju. Juj.

Jimmy Hendrix. Robert Plant. Oh my God. Like more than half of these have died very young. Shut up. Seal, he's fine. Robert Plant's still alive. A little bit Jimmy Hendrix.

Kirk Cabane. Yeah, they were 27 clubbers. And Judy Garland. Did she make it? Oh, no. Oh. I'm thinking, who's, her daughter's old. Liza.

Liza. Liza. Yeah, but Judy Garland, suicide. Did she? But how young was she? I didn't know that. Oh, maybe 40. Oh.

Oh. Oh, okay, back to happier things. Tie back to... So I'm just trying... You were saying they're creative, but often creative people have a lot of inner turmoil. Yeah, it's rough for us.

It's hard out there for a lefty. That's lefty creative, hardest types. You've really got to mobilize. You've got to mobilise, union eyes. Yeah. Who else do you got? You got anyone else there? Yeah, Paul Simon.

Ringo Star. Yeah, right. Ringo was also a lefty. So one half of the Beatles, left hand is pretty cool. That is cool. It ties back to our previous episode. Okay, artists, this is the best. Artists.

Leonardo da Vinci, Raphael and Michelangelo, all left-handed. Three out of four Ninja Turtles, baby. Two Beatles, three out of four turtles. So which one was not? Donatello. Fuck off Donatello. Oh, my faith. So Donatello, and he was the sculptor of the four.

So the three painters... That's why Donatello can go get fucked. You heard of him, that? He's your favourite. We know that. No, no, no, no. Okay, I've also got some actors as well, actors and comedians. So, I mean, strap in.

It's a pretty good list. All right. We've got Dan Aykroyd. Hey, half of the Blues brothers. Tim Allen. Oh! Oh, pop. Sorry, it's very loud, sorry.

I love that noise out at the end. Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan. Do, do. Oh. Not as good. If I was going to guess, I would have, I would have thought Al Balland would have been left hand or that comedy duo. There you go.

Charlie Chaplin was a lefty. Then we've also got Tom Cruise. That's disappointing. Robert De Niro, Fran Dresher. Okay, everybody? Fran. Fran. Larry Fine of the three stooges.

Whoopi Goldie Horn and your daughter, Kayne. Hey, Whoopi Goldberg. What is noteworthy for being one of the few to win the... Egot. Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony. It all ties together. That's why I mention it so often. on this podcast. I'm very sorry, but now maybe I won't do it as much. I probably will.

Got it out of your system. It's a lot of family ties as well, so Goldie Horn and her daughter, Kate Hudson. I thought you're going to say Michael J. Fox. No. Jim Henson. Family ties. Jim Henson and Kermit the Frog, his son. Jim Henson also, the Jim Henson company, did the turtle puppets for the first Ninja Turtles movie. Really?

Three out of four of them left-handed. We know that. That makes sense. Maybe that was why they're all left-handed because their puppeteer was left-hand. Yeah, that's probably it. Well, that's the other thing. That's very funny. No, Bart Simpson is left-handed because who created the Simpsons? Matt Grinning. Matt Grinning's left-handed.

And he's created Bart as left-handed as well. And Ned Flanders, of course. Oh, the Lestorian. Left-Torium. What do we know? One thing will we not need in the future. Left-handed stores. That's you, Flanders.

Great. Kay, sarah, sir-a-sara. Other notable lefties, Steve McQueen, Marilyn Monroe, Anthony Perkins, in the original Psycho. T-Perkins. Is that your dad's name? No. It's his middle name, though.

He's John Anthony. So, ooh. Richard Pryor, Sylvester Stallone. Okay, we got Rocky. Good luck, right-handers. Oh, yeah, we got Rocky. Adrian! Pretty good impression.

Yeah, thank you. Want to have a go, Matt? Hey, I'm a very talented writer and performer, Sylvester Stein, Roke, Rocky. shopped it around a lot sold my dog to make sure it happen or is that a myth do that story I went back and bought it from an alcohol shop Jack Drews does it have you seen you just

sound about that? Oh that's where I would have learnt it from Jack Drewes who's just downstairs Not your best impression, okay What? I thought I nailed it Tying back to the Mary Poppins episode and your favourite show Diagnosis

Don't tell me the Dick Mr Dick Van Dyke is a left-handed He is a left-hander And finally we also have the queen. We do actually have the queen, but we also have Oprah. So the Queen Elizabeth II? Yeah, I'm pretty sure she is. Charles definitely is, and Prince William definitely is. And I have a feeling I've read that Queen Elizabeth the second is as well. Yes, I'm going to say yes.

We're not in the business of having a feeling like Jess. No, I read it, but I didn't write it down. Anyway. We're in the business of briefly looking at stuff online and then trying to remember it and talk about it. Oh no, that is the same thing. All right. Go on. They're gone. There's a few things in sport where they find left-handers to be very important that I know off the top of my head. Very important.

In cricket, nearly always the opening two batsmen will be right-hand, left-hand combination. A combo to try it. And that is so, because every time they swap ends, the whole field has to move around and the bowl has to change his line. So it just becomes a... Bit tedious for the other team. Yeah, and it's just like it's harder to find a rhythm if you're having a change from a left-handed to a right-handed every ball.

And I think it's a similar sort of idea with baseball and pitches. They'll have a front-line, left-hand, hand, a front-line, right-handed pitcher. Again, so whether or not to favour whichever one you need, you can go to one or the other. It's interesting that it's just a tactical thing. Yeah. Which means that 10% of the population has a better chance at, you're going to be seen as more valuable as a cricketer or a baseballer if you're left-handed. And there's a bunch of other famous left-handed.

Sports stars, Rafael Nadal. Yeah. There are a lot and they find it's really, it's an advantage in nearly every sport, except stuff like swimming, that's kind of useless. But fencing in particular, it's a huge advantage to be left-handed, apparently. Have you ever seen, what's that movie,

The Princess Bride where he's like, well, actually I'm not even left-handed. Whoops, swaps over. Oh, man, what a moment. And then is Immigua. So good, that guy. Have you seen him talk about refugees and stuff on Colbert recently? No.

Very good video. You should check that out. So emotional. What's his name, the actor? Mandy Patinkin. Mandy Patinkin. Great name as well. Yeah, great name.

Patinkin. This is a side track. Let's see how far away I can get from the topic. No. In golf, most courses are set up to be harder for right-handed slices. So if you're a left-handed slasser, you're more likely to be able to. to bend the ball naturally around corners. Which is an interesting thing.

Oh. Because you're much more common to be a right hand and you're much more likely to be a slasering golf. It's easy. It's like just a more common fault. Ideally, you're moving the ball right to left. But if you move it left to right, then as a right hand, you're a slaser. So they make a lot of holes with dog leg to the left.

So you're moving the ball the wrong one. Anyway, I'm talking about golf. So I've played golf like twice a year, and I've played it last week, and I've been thinking about it a lot. Golf on the brain. You're thinking about your tactics. Yeah. It is an advantage.

Even playing basketball, I've played basketball since I was seven, and being left-handed was a huge advantage, because people would defend me on the wrong side. Right. So they defend me there, and I just rolled the other way, and then they're like, oh, shit, you went the other way. So that's an advantage until anyone knows. Yeah, but they never figured it out.

I guess amateur basketball is different. Oh, yeah, big time. And it's just your instinct. You guard the right-hander. Absolutely. Yeah, I do have some fun facts and finishing on the funnest of facts. Interesting. Interesting.

Yeah. Maybe. Well, this time, I will read these and you can tell me if they're fun or not. They're not that fun. Oh, no, they're interesting. Oh, no. No, no. I will never pass judgment on your fun facts.

If you say they're fun facts, they're fun facts. I'm Jess Perkins, the queen of the fun fact. I said that's so droll as well I am Jess Perkins, a queen of the fun fact Okay Apparently so I said before that Two left-handers having a baby 26% chance that child's going to be left-handed

I'm going to put that out there I don't care if this gets back to my future children If I have a left-handed child They're going to be my favourite I think about to say you're going to tell them not to Because of the hardship you've faced No, I'm a proud lefty Despite the hardship

Jess has grown up in a time where nearly all of the hardship doesn't exist anymore, apart from smudgy riding. That's the only thing that worries you anymore. Everything else is an advantage, basketball. Pretty much. I've been very lucky. My brother teases me a lot, but, you know, whatever. Yeah, but your brother can get fucked.

Thank you. Thank you, Matt. He can get fucked. So, yeah, I said they're more likely to have a 26% chance that two lefties will have a left-handed baby. But what's interesting, though, is mothers who are over 40 at the time of a child's birth, this makes no sense at all now that I read it. Mothers who are over 40 at the time of a child's birth are 128% more likely to have a left-handed baby than a woman in her 20s. Now, that's, is that right?

That can work. 128% more than two times. Okay, yeah. So I was thinking like, you will definitely have a left-handed baby. If it was a hundred and twenty-eight percent, you've got a hundred and twenty-eight percent chance of it happening. Yeah. Yeah.

More likely. That would be, no, it is locked in and then some. There's a chance that they're going to be double left-handed. Which ironically makes them right-handed. Yeah. Two lefts make it right. Yeah, okay, now that's right. I'm confused by my own statistics.

Yeah, no, that, I definitely had to think about that. Was that interesting? Was that interesting? Yeah. Sweet. Was it fun, though? I think it took us on a fun journey. Didn't it?

Speaking of journeys. I will not pass judgment, Jess. You can't make me. Speaking of journeys and also tying back to one of your previous episodes, Dave. One in four Apollo astronauts were left-handed. Ooh. Oh, that's 250% more likely. Your face just stayed completely dead when I said that.

I was just thinking about the math. Wait, no. Does that make sense? One in four. Because you, it's... 10% chance. So you're, so 250% more likely to be an astronaut if you're a left-handed than a right-hand. Does that make sense?

No. Can you make what I want to say make sense? So there's only one in ten people are left-handed, but one in four people have been on Apollo mission. Left-handed have been on, one-and-four Apollo mission astronauts have been left-handed. Can you break that down into a simple sentence? I don't think you can. I don't think we can. Well, it's just, yeah, you're absolutely correct.

Like, of general society, only one in ten people is left-handed. But of Apollo astronauts from the Apollo program, one in four. Yeah, so that's 250%. There's got to be a 250% thing there, right? Yeah, but still, you're more likely to be selected as an astronaut if you're right-handed. Yes, but as a... As a left-handed person, because it's like... I can hear the cogs in his head turn.

Yeah, my brain is just... They're not turning, that's the problem. So, if you're a left-handed person... So you're in a room and there's... Okay, yeah, so you are more... I actually think you are correct that you're more likely to be picked because of general society, only one in ten people is left-handed, but a whole quarter of the program are left-handed.

Yeah. But if you are right-hand. You generally expect that 90% of the people picked for the mission would be right-handed, but only 75% are. My brain just won't let me make that... Anyway, I edit all that out. Thanks, Jess. Yeah. Sorry, Jess.

Nah, great. Oh, fuck you. Real good. Studies have shown that if a left-hander injures his or her dominant hand, they have an easier time learning to use the other hand than if... Then they're a right-handed counterpart. So I'll show you as well. If I write Jess in left and right, it'll actually be, it's not terrible because we're more used to using... Like with the ukulele, when the guy was just like, just do it right.

Is it because right-handed is the right way, so it's just your naturally should be able to do it, but you're because that little evil part of your brain makes you want to do it left-handed. Yeah, it's just the evil in our brains. Yeah, yours is definitely better on the left still. Oh, big time, yeah, for sure. just mean because there's so many things that are designed for right handers that we have to adapt to a lot. So we're just more used to using our right than you guys wouldn't have to, you guys wouldn't be as forced to use your left, that's all. The closest in quality out of our three is definitely Dave and Dave because they're both awful.

I believe the term is Ambysinister. I'll be taking a photo of that. I'm going to tweet that. You've got lovely handwriting, Jess. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, sorry, I thought you're going to say Dave then. No. I know they're terrible

No it's actually not that bad it's fine It's Mate you make me feel physically ill I am so happy to have been brought up in the Computer age Yours of mine is kind of similar Yeah I actually

I was told a few times as a kid That I have girlish handwriting What is that? What is that even? No I know you didn't mean that But what does that even mean Just good handwriting or like Mate or cursive?

I think it might mean neat I think that's fine What a weird thing Check out Matt Neat handwriting What a girl. Yeah. Well, I'm not sure.

Thank you. Two to be offended for right now. This is an interesting one. I don't know if you know this. You can't play hockey left-handed. I was going to bring that up before. Yeah, can't play it. Oh, because all the bats are the wrong way around.

Exactly. And you're not allowed. You get actually, like they blow the whistle if you hits the ball, if you're seeing hitting the ball with the non-flat side of the hockey stick. What a weird thing. It is a bit weird. I find that I can, with like, bat sports, or like striking, I can do both, like left or right-handed.

I think I'm actually a little bit better on right-handed when it comes to like cricket. But I can comfortably do both. Just a little brag there, not even to do with handedness. That's a hand, like in cricket, some of the modern, like the 2020 games and stuff, there's more reverse. More reverse hits, reverse sweeps and stuff. So that would be quite handy. Yeah.

Modern cricket, I imagine. And the final thing that I want to talk. about. It's my favourite day of the year. Oh, is there national left-handed day? International Left Handers Day. International. International. Welcome. Do you know what date it is? Yes, it'll be, wait, there'd be, does it make sense somehow? No, so I know what you're thinking.

Seven is like an upside down, L. So July, July 7th? No. It's August the 13th. Ah, evil number, 13. 13. Classic. August 13th.

It started in 1992. It was started by the Left Handers Club, who only joined in 1990. And they said they hadn't organized themselves. Yeah, that's right. You're starting to organize. So according to the Left Handers Club, this is how they describe it.

International Left Handers Day is an annual event when Left Handers Everywhere can celebrate their sinestrality, meaning left handedness, and increase public awareness of the advantages and disembarkers. disadvantages disadvantages disadvantages why would you celebrate disadvantages yeah that's raising awareness oh pardon me i thought it was like yay people aren't very nice to us you're celebrating being left-handed but also just letting everybody know it's about awareness it celebrates their uniqueness and

differences who are from seven to ten percent of the world's population thousands of left-handed people in today's society have to adapt to use right-handed tools and objects we're just okay guys have to adapt. In the UK alone, because this is where the club is sort of based. So in the UK alone, this is in 2001, so that's a while ago. But there were like 20 regional events, including left versus right sports matches, a left-handed tea party, pubs using left-handed corkscrews, where patrons drank and played pub games with the left-hand only.

Mark it, I'd be in for that. Isn't it fun? And they even have what they called left-hand. Lefty zones where they made right-handers use left-handed objects to see just how awkward it feels to use the wrong equipment. Wowza. Exciting, isn't it? How many left-handed, international left-handed days have you celebrated in your life? If you look through my Facebook, I would make a post for the last five years when I became aware of it.

Oh, you actually have. Yeah, I put it on Facebook because I find it funny. I think it's ridiculous. But you were aware of this before the show. Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought you might have just come across it. Nah, I was aware of that day. Big time.

Big time aware. I text my left-handed cousins on that day. What date was it again? 13th of August. Let's, I reckon this year, let's go to a pub and play left-handed whatever. Would you do that? Yeah, I'd be enough for sure. Do that for me?

To get you to a pub, for sure. Party poop over here. Oh, my God. Never wants to go to the pub. Because you're embarrassed that you can't drink with your right hand. I can't. I can't do it. You miss your mouth every time.

Every time. Like, Jess. What I like about it, though, is that they're like bragging and whinging all at once because they keep mentioning that it's all about raising awareness. So they say stuff like, oh, we're more likely to develop schizophrenia because our brains are so much more creative. All right, guys, come on. So, yeah, the intentional left handers day, 30th of August.

I thought about, I even looked at my calendar. I was like, maybe I'll save this topic for some time in August and I'll do it then so it coincides. But could not wait. I couldn't wait, firstly. And left handers day also falls on like a Friday or something. Adelaide this year, it just wasn't going to work. I was like, you know what, one of the boys will probably think to do left-handness,

and then I'll miss my chance. So I'm doing it now, and I'll just share it on left-handers now. Imagine if we'd brought up the topic of left-handers. You would have been so pissed. I would have been furious. But we're talking about your thing. You already stole the Queen Elizabeth one from me, so. That'd be the...

Hey, she's all our queen, but you're the only left-hander. I wasn't letting it happen again. So there you go. How do you guys feel about left-handers now? We've got a question for you, Jesse. You wear it on your left-hand? Yes. Because that is not what most left-handers do.

I know. Most would put it on their right because right-handers are wearing it on their left, but I've always won on my left. How about you, Matt, when you put a watch on? I haven't had, I haven't worn a watch in so long. I was trying to see if there was still a tan line, but it would be a good 15 years, so that's probably gone. Yeah, I have no idea.

I would have thought right-hand. That's the way I went to look at my watch. What would you put it on? I wear it on my left hand, like a right-hander. Like a normal person. That's the thing. See, I was raised by right-handed, so I probably copied them a lot too. Just did what they did, because I just wanted to be cool. My brother always teases me for like if we were, this is when we were kids,

but if we're buttering toast or something, you'd be like, you put the butter on the wrong side of the knife because I'm coming at it from a different angle. It was a very strange thing to tease me. Oh, that's a strange. Do you butter with your left hand? Yeah, I do everything on my left hand. Do you butter with your right hand, Matt?

Yeah. I find that very strange is that I butter with my right hand, but as I said before, when I'm holding cutlery, knife goes in my left hand. I cut with my left. But, okay, knife in your left. Okay, yeah, but fork in your right. Yeah, so then once you're finished cutting, you've just got your right hand.

Because I think what a lot of people would probably do is, like, cut with their fork in their left hand, knife in their right, but then when it just comes to just stabbing food and eating it, they'd swap over to their right hand. Oh, what about soup? Would you guys be left or right with the spoon? Left. Left?

Yeah, of course. I literally cannot do anything with my right hand. How do you do the cutlery? Jess, what about Vida Brits? What about, oh no, right hand. I eat right hand, right hand, that's here. Obviously. Arm wrestle, left.

Left. Thumb war? Left. Okay. Javelin. Left. How many times do you play javelin? Like twice during high school?

Oh well, I've never played, but I assume I'm... Played? Coming your hair. Left. Brushing your hair. Left. Brush my teeth, left. Yep, any other questions?

Coming for headlice. Right. Interestingly. That is interesting. What about holding a straw? Left. What about? You'll slip up one day.

I do everything left-hand. I can't even text properly right-handed. It's very awkward. Oh, I text left-handed. Well, I have a lot of more appreciation, and I'm still obsessing over the fact that I can call myself Amby Sinister now. Yeah, I'm happy for you.

I'm bragging about how ungood I am at things. Ungood. That's a left-hand wave. Speaking left-hand wave. No, you're not helping the cause, Jess. Yeah, that's right. Well, I hope we've raised some awareness for the lefties out there. Probably, undoubtedly.

And if you're a lefty, tweet to me. What's your hashtag this week? Hashtag, hashtag left is best. That's good. No? Not my best? Hashtag. What about hashtag left for Jess?

Left for Jess. So like, even if you're right-handed, just so give Jess a bit of support over here. Left for dead? No, that's the same. Look at his face. That is the saying. Hashtag left for Jess. Left for Jess.

I do appreciate that. Do you guys have anything else you need to announce at the end of the show? It was all a ruse. I'm right-handed. You're turds? No, I'm not right. Tickets on sale for Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Oh, yes, we're all doing shows at the Melbourne Comedy Festival.

Doing a show with Annie Matthews at the Tuxedo Cat called Logistical Nightmare. Love it. Great title. Have you got some logistical nightmares happening? Oh, big time. Well, Andy has moved to Sydney since we decided to do the show. So it's a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, that title. Oh, great.

Well, I'll kick in for the Kickstarter to get Andy come back for a couple of weeks. Bring Andy home. And Jess, you are part of a showcase show. Please tell us about that. Yeah, I'm part of Comedy Zone, which is the show Matt did last year. Yeah. So following your footsteps, everything you do, I do. So next year I'll be doing a show with Andy Matthews.

But for this year, I'm part of Comedy Zone, which is five up and ten. comers and it's put on by the comedy festival it's really fun it's at trades hall all through the festival which is going to be super cool super cool and I'm doing my quiz show fact-y-fact versus the audience of the imperial hotel it's the interactive quiz show so if you like answering silly questions much more silly than the stuff that we say on here and I'm also doing my brand new show the lonely comedians blind dating show spectacular I like it the Melbourne town hall Jess has he ever been asked I have not Interesting.

Well, maybe I don't think you're lonely enough to be on the show. Thank you. I was going to say, fuck you, Matt, for implying that I'm lonely. I do need guests. I'm lonely, but I'm not desperate. I do need guests on the show, but I feel like the email subject, lonely comedians, is going to be very hard to get people to come down and say, have a good time. I'm, could I be on it?

I'm lonely. Don't ask. Come on. It's his show. It's too desperate. Well, we'll talk about this off air, I imagine. Do you think that's appropriate, Dave? Yeah, no.

We, as soon as, actually, listeners don't know, as soon as the micro friends go off, we never speak off air. Oh, no, no, no. It just so happens that we have excellent chemistry on air, but off air, hate each other. Yeah, man, I can't say a single word off air to Matt. It's in my writer, I won't speak to him. It's pretty hard through all the hatred. We speak through publicists, only. That's right.

Well, I should have told you that all those shows are on sale now atcom.com. If you're in Melbourne town, but if not, you can always hit us up on Twitter at do go on pod. And do go on pod at gmail.com is the email to get in touch. What's on Facebook? We're on Facebook too. We're on Facebook too. We always forget to mention Facebook as well. Yeah, can you give me, what do you call it, the ability to do stuff on me?

Do you not have that? No. I still haven't let Matt have access to our Facebook page. I will not. I will not allow this. You've ruined too much for me, Matt. No, I'm sure. I'll do that after the show as well.

Any other, what else do we got on the agenda today? The other admin stuff we need to come up? I'm probably going to go to the beach this weekend. Really? No, I don't know. We'll see what the weather's like. Thanks so much for listening. We'll see you next time.

Bye-bye. Hey, I think I'm going to close it out. Bye. Later's. Nails it. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are and we can come and tell you when we're coming there. Wherever we go, we always hear six months later,

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