Do Go On - 170 - The Essex And The Real Life Moby Dick

Episode Date: January 23, 2019

In 1852, Herman Melville published what would much later become his most famous work... Moby Dick, or The Whale. He based this work upon a real life horror story that he'd read about. Twenty years earlier, a whaling ship called The Essex had been attacked and sunk by a giant sperm whale. Alone and literally in the middle of the ocean many thousands of miles from civilisation, the crew had to do some questionable things just to stay alive. This week's episode is all about their epic quest for survival. Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodTickets to live shows in Adelaide on March 10 and at The Melbourne Comedy Festival: https://dogoonpod.com/events/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPod Instagram: @DoGoOnPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/ Email us: [e-mail] Book tickets to Matt's stand up show (in Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane and Melbourne) with the early bird discount code: dogoon via mattstewartcomedy.com/gigs  Check out our other super fun podcasts: Book Cheat: https://omny.fm/shows/bookcheatPrime Mates: https://omny.fm/shows/prime-matesREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2000/05/essex-200005https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-true-life-horror-that-inspired-moby-dick-17576/https://www.britannica.com/topic/Essex-whaling-shipThe True Story Of Moby Dick Documentary:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71sn-WDQoXIhttp://www.galapagos.to/TEXTS/NICKERSON.HTMhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Essex_(whaleship)https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/south-america/ecuador/galapagos-islands/articles/the-secret-history-of-galapagos/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

Hello and welcome to another episode of Dugo One. My name is Dave Warnocky and here before me is Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Here I am before you. I am also before you bowing down to my Lord. Lord. Savio. Thank you. I wasn't going to blaspheme like that.

I was going to say my like more royalty lord, not some sort of god. Like a lord and two. He is but a man. Oh, please. Butter man. Butter man. He was a butter boy. Now he's a butter man.

We covered David Butter. Can't get a grip on him. A little slippery boy. He's so slippery. Go on me. Slippery little sucker. Can't get a handle on him. It's slippery.

Remember that ad? Sliper little sucker? Grape. Yeah, it was a grape. That wasn't an ad for grape. Was it an ad for fruit salad? Fruit salad. Yummy yummy.

SBC. And the kid was eating all of the... Slippery little sucker. Eating all of the fruit, but he couldn't pick up the grape because it's slippery. And he said slippery little sucker. Classic ad. That was a beauty. And I still think that every time I see grapes.

Yep. Every time. Every time. And that kid is now... Dave Warnocky. Yes. Here I am before you. Here I am.

Dave. And I am the Lord. It is. I, Dave. I'm so sorry. No, I'm not. Lord of butter. Yeah, you're the butter lord.

Yeah, you're slippery butter boy. Thank you. Thank you. Your butt's all buttery. Buttery butt. Got a butter room, I've got a cheese room. And you know what my third room's full of. Yes, go on.

Porn mags. Porn mags. Yeah, Dave hasn't figured out the porn's on the internet. Hey, when you spend tens of thousands of dollars on porn mags, you double down. Yeah. But once you've already flicked through a dirty mag, do you, does it lose the... Do you flick again? Yeah, does it lose it's how you say, how you say, jean-secois.

Yeah, especially with these greasy fingers. Yeah. My buttery fingers. Yeah. How do you flick through the pages of a porn mag? Very easily. You could see right through them. It's like that episode of The Simpsonswear Homer had a test.

He'd only eat things if you rubbed it on paper. The paper went through. And then that bird flies into the window. Good times. Well, it's great to be here on the pod. And we're going to get going with my report very, very soon. But before we do that, we've got quickly tell you that we've got some shows coming up, some live ones in Melbourne for the Melbourne Comedy Festival for Saturday afternoons.

Saturday afternoons, yeah. Which we're looking forward to the European Beer Cafe. Tickets selling well to that, which is very, very nice. Thank you very much. And also, just before that in March, March 10, we're doing a show in Adel. Adelaide for the first ever time. Yes, that's right. Come see the butter boy.

Come touch the butter boy. Yeah, touch him. Touch him. Let's lick the butter boy. Do not touch or lick the butter boy. Yeah, I should say that. Only lick and touch the glass surrounding the butter boy. Thank you.

Thank you so much. Which are also made of butter. Yeah. I'll be serving crumpets afterwards. Mm. Delicious butter boy butter. I like crumpets with honey on them. Oh, let it fill into those little holes.

I don't like those holes. They are a little bit creepy. Okay. You're a complicated bit. That here's my opinion on Crumpets next. That is a hot tag. So we are doing Adelaide. Please, if you're in town that weekend, please.

Dave. I love to see you. Can't wait to get there. Get a photo outside the famous. What? I'm blanking on the Rundle Mall's balls. I'll tell you about it. I'm blanking on anything famous, Adelaide.

No, I was thinking the mole balls. But I was blanking on. Rundle. Sorry about that. Because you were thinking of Radellade. Radalade. And the famous Benfold song, Adelaide, beautiful song. To a beautiful city. Really is a beautiful city. Can't wait to get back there. I'm also doing stand-up shows.

The show's called Bone Dry, directed by the great man and butter boy, Dave Warnocky. There's going to be lots of butter elements. Oh, butter boy. Everyone gets a free sachet. Coming up very soon in Perth, opening on the 12th of February, which is a, everyone knows, a month I can't say. but I had a bloody go at it. Say Feb.

Feb, that's right. 12th of Feb. Then I go to Radeade, Adelaide, Brisbane, and then Melbourne for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. And you can find out details for all of that at Matt Stewartcom.com slash gigs. And if you use a discount code, do go on. I'm pretty sure that still works,

and it gives a very good discount. And it'd be so good to see that. It would be so nice. Also use the code butter. Oh, Dave. You're going to have to send someone a message for that to. No, don't use the code butter. It won't work.

It'll charge you triple. Yeah. But you'll get zero tickets. Yeah. And I will let you touch Dave's glass box. Thank you. Thank you. All right.

Now, on with the report. Now, I've written a report here. What we do here on the show is the three of us taking turns to do a report on a topic that the other two don't know what it's going to be. And it is my turn. Did you see how well he explained that? I don't know. It happened so quick. I didn't even hear it.

Oh, I finally did it. Thank goodness. Well done, Dave. Well done, Dave. But you might get that. I took it off you for quite a while. Maybe you can have it back. Thank you.

Why don't you never let me have a go? Jess, you have tried to grab it back a few times. Yeah. And every time, why hasn't it stuck? You started out so well. Buttergirl. Buttergirl panics is what she does.

No, I don't. I'm very good at it. Yeah, I'm Teflon. I'm cool and calm under pressure. I'm a cucumber. They're cool and calm under pressure. Yeah. They don't, oh God, I'm sweating.

Okay, Dave, start the report. Now, researching another topic. I came across this story. Oh. So I'd chosen another topic. And then this topic distracted me. And I was like, all right. So I'm thinking I'm going to do the original topic as a part two next time.

Oh, shit. Yeah. A bit of a sizzle for in a couple of weeks time. Love a part two. When it's back to my report. Fun. So they're not fully connected the stories, but there's just a little. Little something, something.

Ships passing in the night, if you will. Oh, sexy. Are you doing like the spirit of Tasmania? Yeah. What a ride. And the spirit of New South Wales. A ship I'm trying to build Pledge now to my

Pledge now to my possible campaign There's two spirits of Tasmania's Fuck They pass in the night Okay What do you get your ship out of the bloody What's that got to do with my business Idea

I'm an entrepreneur I love the sea Well you're going to love this topic I was a plane the other day right I was just thinking about it. I don't like boats. I was on a plane and we were landing in Melbourne late at night. And for a moment, I was on a window seat, brag,

and there's a light that just came on outside that like a yellow light. It was quite a foggy night. And I thought the plane was on fire for a bit. No way. And I was looking around. There wasn't something on the way. Was there? I can't believe that's funny twice now.

Wow. Done the impossible. I was looking around and nobody else looked panicked and the flight attendants weren't standing up or anything. But I was like, that's flame light. It was kind of flashing, like flickering. I thought the, I thought the engine was on fire. Oh my God. And then I was like.

Were you going to tell anyone? Well, I was looking around and nobody, like, I don't think it would. I don't think that's, that would be something that would set off an alarm. It wouldn't be up to the passenger to notify the pilot, you know? My thing is in a situation where it's turbulent, I watch the air stewards. And if they start freaking out. That's when I start freaking out. If they look a bit worried, you think, okay.

Yeah. What I do is just keep watching the movie. Yeah. And assume it'll all be okay. You get annoyed. I don't know. Have you ever been distracted by music or something? You're not realizing your landing.

Oh, yeah. Suddenly the land appears in your landing. I've had that before and I thought we were crash landing. Yeah. Because it's like, bang. Oh my God, we're on the ground. What? What?

Oh, that's the plan. This is controlled. Okay. Yeah, that is scary. Sorry to bring that up, but I just. So you got a, yeah, we get it. You've flown a plane before. Thank you.

Anyway, before that bright light, you said, I love the ocean. I love the sea. You love the sea. We're going to love this topic. Let me just tell you that. It's something to do with the sea. Now, I've got a question to get us on topic. The question is, a real-life incident involving a ship called the Essex inspired which Herman Melville novel.

Novel. Herman Melville. Had many classic novels. Okay. Let's list them. Toot, to Tute. From number five to one. Tud-to-chug-chugger, big old submarine.

Yeah, that was his. That was the fifth best, of course. What about whaling with Greg? Yes, number four. Love that classic. That was actually sequel to this one. That's good. Was submarines, what's that about?

Is there a colin after submarines? Yeah. That's good. All right, number two, we're building up to it. Oh, no, look at that white whale. I want to get it, but I won't. Because I'm into keeping things alive, baby. I mean, you can see why that wasn't quite as big a salary as number one,

which is, of course, Geraldine goes to the shops. Of course, that title, so you can't judge a book by its title, but you can that one. That's some of his best work. So that's what the reports are. Great.

Well, tell us all about Geraldine and I've all read it, so we know the story, but I'm guessing you've uncovered some kind of interesting behind the scenes story about Geraldine goes to the shops. Of course, yes,

I'm not going to explain the story. This isn't freaking book cheat or anything. Yuck. Yeah. Nerd alert. Thank God it's not that show. Boo. That's the catchphrase of this show.

Thank God it's not that show. Of course the book I'm talking about is Moby Dick. Moby Dick. Oh, we were right. We were right all along. Well, Moby Dick. The answer was with inside

Geraldine going to the shop so long. It was one of those dust jackets. It was over the top of a different book. That's right. You pull it off. Like I always sued. Oh, yeah. You gotta stop doing that.

It's so annoying. Yeah. So a real life incident involving a ship called the Essex inspired Herman Melville to write Moby Dick. And that is what we're going to talk about today. Can't wait. In the 1850s, American writer Herman Melville was already quite a well-known author with this earlier novel, Tai Pi becoming a bestseller. That was number six. Yeah, Tai-B.

That's why it wasn't in our list. I know. That was his biggest seller in his lifetime. Sadly, he found it hard to match his early success throughout the rest of his life. life. Do you reckon, because this happens a lot where people like Van Gogh, where they're really, really, really popular and have all their fame after they're dead, do you reckon that could be us? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to tell myself that that's the case. I mean, it's a great way to go thinking, all right, well. Now people will enjoy what I did. Now they'll care. Now they'll care. My final words.

I don't want to benefit from anything that I've done. All the hard work I've done and barely scraped by in life. has all been worth it to be remembered. And your relatives become exceedingly rich. Yeah, and then really spoiled. Yeah, and it ruins them. Like, we say this to each other all the time. I never want to be Van Gogh famous. We say that all the time.

I messaged you just yesterday and I said, hey, Matt, Matthew, I never want to be Van Gogh famous. I said that, didn't I? You did say that. Didn't a Dutch person tell us while we're in England and that's not how you pronounce it? Well, it's definitely not Yeah, they told us how to say it

But like You had to cut out your tongue Yeah, basically They might know I think they might to sound like it was a lot more simple Anyway, let's not open that can of monkeys That's not the same That can of

Oh Please don't make it all about monkeys, mate This isn't freaking primates over here Yuck Thank goodness it's not that show We'd be having too much fun So in 1852 At the age of 32

Melville published what would later become his most famous work, Moby Dick or The Whale. Call me Ishmael. That is the opening line. I know. That's all I know. Right, because it's told from this perspective of a man named Ishmael. Which is the whale, right? A.k.a. Moby Dick.

It's like a superhero thing as Moby Dick. Oh, it's like a Clark Kent. Yeah, when he puts on the whale. Costum. The whale. Andes. That's when he becomes Moby Dick. But before that, he's Ishmael.

But people don't recognise him without the undies on. Yeah. It's like, Clark can't with the glasses. Put the glasses on, you're like, oh, I don't recognize that guy at all. It's just a man standing there in undies that have a whale on them? Yeah. How old is he? Can you get a grown-up underwear with little animals on them?

Oh, they're a specially made. Oh, good, because I was asking because I want to get some. Whale? You can have them specially made? Whale? Whale? Whale? I can have them specially made?

Yeah. Whale? Yeah, whale. They please do go on. A man of adventure in his 20s, Melville had worked as a sailor and joined a whale hunting ship for about 18 months before jumping the ship in French Polynesia. Dave. Jumping the ship? Yes, he jumped the ship.

Well done. Thank you so much. French Polynesia, that's where he wrote the first novel, Tai Pi about his time in French Polynesia. It was during this time at sea that he became obsessed with a story that was folklore for all sailors in that part of the world. He read a memoir by a first mate by the name of Owen Chase. It was a nightmarish tale that had taken place about two decades earlier. All the sailors knew the story well and had desperately hoped to avoid living it themselves. Melville had been so inspired by the story that eventually he wrote Moby Dick.

To celebrate the publication, Melville took a trip via a steamer to Nantucket, an island 30 miles off of Massachusetts, and home port of Moby Dick's fictional protagonist Captain Ahab and his ship, the Piquad. The P-quod. The P-quod. How did I not know that it was called the P-Quod? It's a great name, isn't it? The P-quod.

It's not a great name at all. What is that? What's a P-quod? P-quod, I'm sure it's got some. Is it four P's? It might be some sort of Latin translation, I imagine. I'm sure it's got deep symbolic meaning. Whilst he was there in Nantucket, Melville had made sure to meet a man named George Pollard, Jr.

Captain George Pollard, Jr. He later wrote... I love him. man in uniform. You do. He refused to take it off at all times. Oh. It got awkward when you went to war and you kept falling for the enemy.

Oh man. They were so dreamy. Melville later wrote that the two, quote, exchanged some words. What's that mean? Which hardly sounds exciting, but Melville was clearly impressed by the 60-year-old man he met. To the islanders, he was a nobody, Melville wrote.

To me... He was a nobody. everything. Well, he's the most impressive man, though wholly unassuming, even humble, that I ever encountered. End quote. His muse had not disappointed him, for it was Captain George Pollard Jr. who was at the center of the harrowing story that was recounted by Owen Chase, the story that inspired Moby Dick. And this is that story. Oh, so this is the story that inspired Moby Dick. Yes, this is a real life tale. the harrowing tail that I said that you read.

This is a whale of a tail. You can bet your tail. So that was just a bit of preamble to set the scene. Dave, that preamble was captivating. It was fun. Thank you. It was interesting. I give it five out of five.

Thank you. Matt, feedback. Yeah, I'd say fantastic. Couldn't eat another bite. Thank you. And out of five? Yeah, certainly would. Wow.

Strong words. Well, George Pollard Jr., the captain I just spoke of, was born in Nantucket in 1791. So he was a man from Nantucket. He was. I was wondering who would be the first to say it, and Matt gets the gold star, Jess. Where the hell were you?

And we both bit our tongue for quite a while. You've mentioned it three or four times now. Every time I thought, here we go. I was just the people at home were going, just say it, get it out of the way. I was confident it was amazing. up place. Yeah, I assumed it was too.

Did not know it was an island. Same as Albuquerque. That's another made up one, right? Albuquerque. Bugs Bunny was always out. Should I turn left at Albuquerque? That's where the Springfield isotopes were going to move to on the Simpsons. Right.

It's become the Albuquerque isotopes. Neil Patrick Harris is from Albuquerque. Really? He went to the same high school as friends of mine, and I have yet to message them and ask if they knew him. I mean, that is fun. How did you discover that and not mention it? Because I, for some reason, got stuck in a YouTube vortex last night,

and I was watching a video of him, and he was talking about what high school he went to. And I was like, that rings a bell, because it's an interesting name, of which I've forgotten, and it's in Albuquerque. Right, but is he an older generation or you're a friend's older than you are? My friends are older than I am, and they're probably two years younger than him. So I think they could have known him. Wow. And he was also very famous at the time for Dugie Hauser MD.

Yeah. So pretty sick. That's super sick. Thank you. That was worth me interrupting the show for us. Right. So, Nantucket, 1791. That's where we are. During this time. Sorry, David, good year. Thank you. 1791? Did you head out of your butt? That was a terrible year. Oh. 1792. Oh, magnificent.

Coming back. A fantastic. 91. Real piece of shit. Oh, sorry. During this time, the island's principal industry was hunting sperm whales to house. Also was wondering who was going to get that gold star. There it is. Hum whales. They were hunted to harvest the oil contained in their blubber and the spermaceti or sperm oil contained in an organ found in their heads.

The spermaceti, which is a white liquid, was originally mistook for the whale's semen, and that's why they're called sperm whales. It's in their head. Fun fact. So a large cavity in their head, and it's full of hundreds of litres of it. So that's why they hunt the whales.

Hundreds of litres. Yeah. Spirm whale. That's a funny name. I would have called them a jism blah blah. A fun fact, sperm whales have the largest brains of any animal on earth. Really? Yeah.

But they thought they carried their cum in their head. I think they probably just split it open. Sorry, mum and dad. I think they just probably just split it open. We're like, oh, what's that white liquid? That must be, I guess it's, you know, it's sperm. And then they later discovered that it was useful oil. At this time, the oil within the sperm whales was sought up.

for use in oil lamps, lubricants, candle soap, cosmetics, machine oil, paint, putty, pencils, crayons and many, many more things. Holy shit. It was highly sought after and extremely valuable. So basically at the time, if you had an oil lamp, which is how most people lit their homes, you burnt whale oil. Wow. So it was really, really common product.

Sperm whales also produced amber grease or amber gris, which at the time was also highly sought after by the perfume industry. This is produced in the digestive system and is usually passed. as fecal matter. So people are spraying whale shit all over themselves. What? They do beautiful quiffs. Beautiful, beautiful quiffs.

Anyway, whaling is a big deal. I don't understand what a quiff is, though. That's the wrong end. You're right. All right. All right. You are not right. Anyway, whaling is a big deal at the time, is what I'm trying to say.

Nantucket is the whaling capital of America during this era. despite only 8,000 people living there, it was one of the wealthiest communities in the country, all because of the whale oil. Holy shit. The whaling community, and it's 70 ships, 70 whaling ships, were run by rich whale tycoons of sorts,

who at the time were also deeply religious Quakers. It's a big Quaker community. And I think it's three or four families run all 70 ships, so they're extremely wealthy. Holy shit. Ship, damn it! Oh, that's good. I'll let it in post.

Thank you. The Quakers were anti-violence to humans. That's one of their beliefs. But they had no problem with fucking up the whales. Melville would describe them as, quote, Quakers with a vengeance, which I think is a great film title. Yeah.

Someone make that. I think it should be the sequel. Quakers, with a vengeance. Queefers with a vengeance. Oh, that's good. Yes. Now we're under something. That would be the squeakers.

Cool. Now you're cooking with whale oil. That's where you were going with that one? I don't know. I reckon. All right. Take it one. Oh, you're going to have with that one.

George Pollard Jr. Our future captain was himself, the son of a ship's captain, George Pollard, Sr. Oh. I assume I didn't read that anyway, but I assume. And he seemed destined to spend his life on the seas. He started serving on a ship called the Essex in his teens and rose to the ranks from second mate to first mate and finally in. and finally in 1819 at the age of 28 he was named as captain of that whaling ship.

Wow, captain. At our rate's Jess. I'm captain of this pod. This P-Quod. We're co-captains, to be fair, but captain is still in my title. I'm captain of my house where I live alone. Yep.

I'm in charge. So, I bet you feel like an idiot. And you're out. Someone's second in charge. So he's captain. He's made it, baby. It's his dream. Now with Pollard at the helm, a crew were to sail the Pacific Ocean to hunt sperm whales, as they always did. They would all share in the profits of the journey, and if it was successful, Pollard's share would be in the vicinity of $150,000 today. It's a bit of a payday, but he's the captain, so he's making the most.

The Essex was already an old vessel by this time. The wooden ship having spent two decades being smashed by unforgiving waves in the open ocean, but it had a great career. considered by many to be a lucky ship despite its age and obvious wear. Never had any problems in the past. It's a but. She's all good. She's good.

I love their optimism. I admire that, don't you? Yeah, I do. And I think it's going to come true. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's definitely smart to go, yeah, no, I know this ship is leaking, but it's lucky.

So that's fine. Don't worry about it. No, I'm not going to fix it. It's lucky. Yeah. Would you fix luck? Come on. You'd fix the luck right out of it.

That hole is lucky. Yeah, that gaping hole that gets bigger with every day. That's more luck. More water, more luck. Look at how lucky we're getting. We're lucky to have water in that hole. Because of the previous century of killing whales in their local area, century, yes, they've been killing them for a long time,

whale has started having to search further and wider and travel to more remote oceans. Because whales were like, well, I'm probably not going to go over there. Yeah, Nanucket. I don't think so. Darren went over there and he never came back. There could be some correlation. How long, yeah. When do we start realizing that you can over fish?

Quite a bit after this, I think. Well, many decades after this because they can only multiply by 1% of their entire population per year. Wow. So it takes a long time for them to come back. Right. But at the time, they were killing thousands every season. Imagine how they would think of us. You know, now we turn around and say, oh, no, we're protecting you.

It's like, okay, you. did this. Yeah, whoa, whoa, you slaughtered us. And now you're like, oh,

no, we'll look after you. Oh, gee whiz, thanks, fuckos. Yeah. Leave us alone.

That's what I'd be saying. Do you reckon the whales would think of us as soy boys? Oh, yeah, protect the whales.

Definitely. They're like, oh, yeah, you can talk. Yeah. Because I'm assuming they outlive us as well.

So, like, because they get really old like tortoises. So I think about, I assume they outlive us when we ultimately nuke ourselves

and they'll of course. live on and who's got the last laugh now whale? I mean, it's funny, but if you're listening to this at a time when we have nuked ourselves, probably poor taste for me to have laughed so hard. No, but that reminds me of another Great Simpsons reference when Lisa goes around to Nelson's house having a crush on him. He's got a poster that says, nuke the whales. And she says, nuke the whales?

What does that mean? He goes, I don't know. Got a nuke something. Valid point. Oh, poor way. So it was common for men to be at sea for at least two years at a time on these missions. They had no real means of refrigeration, so their supplies couldn't include any vegetables or much proper meat. They mostly existed on a diet of salted pork, heavily salted, and hard tack, which is a type of extremely hard dried cracker made from flour and nicknamed, quote, mola breakers.

It was so hard you couldn't bite into it. Instead, you had to soften it in water or in soup. Oh, like those teething bickies for babies. You know those ones? No, were they dog biscuits? No, they're just like those really hard biscuits. Those stick. You've been around children.

They've got the long, they're like a bread stick. And they're just, babies just suck on them while they're teething. Breadsticks? Yeah, are you thinking about baguettes? Yeah. Meadigets? I'll just call them breadsticks. Well, you would.

You like the, how you say. Vocability? Yes. Interesting. So they're eating this hard-tax stuff, which lasts a long time, but I imagine is terrible to eat. It's still apparently very popular in Alaska. And with babies.

And it's also a survival food, like in military packs, if you go in the middle of nowhere and you've got to have food that lasts forever, they give you this crap because it doesn't go off. I've got a breadstick, though. So good. Yum. I think you do well in the nootry. I'm hungry.

Especially with a bit of butterboy on them. Oh yeah. Put a bit of butter boy on there. Oh, how about a little bit of dip? Yeah. How about a little bit of chis? A bit of hummus. I love hummus.

Me too. A little bit of Bree. Oh, yes. Seriously, I'm just hungry now. Me too. Do go on. The ship was about as long as a tennis court and quite cramped. But what size tennis court?

Oh, table tennis? We tennis? Yeah. table tennis, much smaller. It was a wee tennis cohort, if a Scottish person was to describe it. Right. That is a small boat. Yeah, it's not a big boat.

Yeah, and it's actually quite small in comparison to other whaling chips as well. So it's like whales being old. It's quite small. But it's also lucky. But it's lucky. Right. How many people were on it? 21 was the crew.

I mean, just have one less. Where do they sleep? Yeah, well, I didn't even notice that one. So thanks for pointing it out. And now I'm going to obsess about it. Like 21. That's a good number. They would spend their entire.

entire journey on the ship, obviously, sleeping below the deck. The only time they would get off is when they hit the water in four small whaling boats in which they would pursue the whales. So they're in dinghies going after whales. Yes, it's an extremely dangerous job. That's such a dumb job. It's a really dangerous job. I'm not doing it.

Yeah. I refuse. Well, you can't make me, Dave. Okay. I'm not whaling. I also, I'm not going to take up your offer, Dave. Thank you, Dave. Thanks for having it.

Well, our offer with. drawn. Oh. No, we... No, no, we... I think you're just doing that thing where you're trying to, like, fire us before we've resigned. No.

We're doing it on our terms, mate. Yeah. Wait. If you fire us, I think we get to unemployment benefits. Yeah. Say it again. I'm afraid. I'm going to have to offer you the job.

I'm pretty sure that's a bit from the... The office. Oh, it was the awful. I thought it was the first episode of the Nanny. Oh, right. Well, in the office, he, um, they have people come from a different branch and Michael Scott, Steve Carrell's character, fires a guy after he says he quits. And then he gets a call from head office saying, well, now we have to pay him all these

benefits because you fired him. He was just going to leave. And that would mean it because he's so arrogant. He can't have someone leave. He goes, that's it. You're fired. But on the nanny, something similar? I'm pretty sure that the nanny herself maybe said, I quit and then she went back and said,

no, you fired me. That way I can get unemployment benefits. I'm pretty sure that's right. Some 90s sitcom. Pre-meeting Maxwell Sheffield. obviously. Of course. Because there's no HR department for her when she's just, when she's there.

Well, at that point, she hadn't got to the Sheffield's door when the father saw more. She had style. She had flare. She was there. That's how she became a nanny. I would have thought. So they're sleeping below. Of the 21 sailors, there was a mixture of white and black men.

I'm sorry to report that the black sailors were given the smallest of the already cramped cabins. So they were sort of treated as second class citizens. on the ship. No, you're all doing the same job. Yes, very much the case.

So it's had part of history. So there's 21 on board, but we're going to focus mostly on five of the crew, just to make it easier for you to remember who I'm talking about. No, I can remember 21 names. All right, here we go. John, Dave,

Ben, Greg, Simon. That's you saying 21 names. Oh, I can remember him, though. Oh, I go back through them. John, Greg, Dave, Ben, Simon. Yeah. Fuck you, Matt.

Well, that was five. which you need to remember. Great, you've proved you can. Here we go. So on board we've got George Pollard Jr. has already to discuss the captain. He was one of the youngest men to ever captain a whaling ship. Good for him.

What an honour. Does he get a hat? Hell yeah. Youngest ever captain hat? Yeah, an old badge. Owen Chase, the 22-year-old first mate. That is a fantastic name. Owen Chase.

Owen Chase. He was very ambitious and not afraid to question his commandist decisions. So second in charge. That's sexy. Then we have Thomas Nickerson. Nickerson. Nickerson, the 14-year-old cabin boy. Oh, Thomas.

A journey like this was seen as a journey to manhood for people on the island of Nantucket. Because most of them grew up to be whalers. You went on board, a cabin boy. But you came out, Matt, say it. A cabin man. So do you reckon, were there other professions you could do other than whaling?

What if you were. wanted to be a whale. Well, you could live on the island. Yeah, I mean, you could be a whale man. Mama, papa, I don't want to be a whaler. What do you mean you don't want to? What's wrong with me? I've gone to be a hibb.

What do you mean you don't want to be Bob Marley's backing band? They were called the whalers. I want to be a whale. He makes himself a little whale costume and he's running around their backyard and they're like looking out at him out the kitchen window like, where did we go wrong? But then eventually he's. He's the best goddamn whale they've ever seen. And they're like, we should never have done a due son.

And then they salute as he swims off into the sunset. Into the whale. And burns to death. But he was happy. All right, we've got two more characters here. Sorry. We've got Owen Coffin. Two Owens.

Whenever we've had a list of people. I know, it's always... Owen Coffin, yeah, okay. Owen Coffin. Is that the name? Yeah, he, he, he, he, he, He was another teenager. He was a friend of Nickerson, as well as being Captain Pollard's first cousin.

Oh, nepotism. Pollard promised Coffin's mother that he would look out for the boy on the ship's journey. Bullshit. Oh, that's bad omen. Dave's, yeah, Dave's fucking, he's sizzling. Something bad's going to happen to coffin. I would not be bringing any coffins onto my ship. I think it just sets a...

What are you going to do with a body then? If somebody dies with natural causes. Just dump it in the... Burry him at sea. Berm it at sea. We're not buried, either. They're just dumped. flight them

flight them off to say Never mind Usually they saw them up into a Like a canvas thing And then fill it with the rocks I was gonna ask if they weigh them down And then they say they drop them off They go

Now you're gonna swim with the fishes No sleepers You want to swim with the fishes Oh for God's sake Don can you get the fucking catchphrase right It's not as scary with swimming with the fishes Sleeping No I'm gonna give him

We've got some scuba gear Yeah Gotta take him on a guided toys Gotta love it Hey alright Let's go swimming I just got my scuba license. You said I could do this.

Let's go swimming with the fishes. You'll be wearing a pair of concrete gloves in no time. Gloves, for fuck sake. It's boots, you dumb shit. I wanted to teach him out of box, you know? Bada bing, bada boom, eh? You punch with a, if you're strong enough to punch with a concrete gloves, to take off the concrete and you'll pop, pa, pa.

Knock them down. Is that William Shatner? Yeah. Playing Rocky. Wow, there's something on Rocky's wing. I'm going to predict Matt. Something's going to happen to Owen Coffin. That's based on me reading Dave Morning.

And finally, the fifth person I want to tell you about is second mate, Matthew Joy, third in command. Matthew Joy. Bring it a lot of joy to the ship. Mjoy. Matt, which one of us is your first mate? Think wisely. Okay.

I'll think wisely and I'll keep it to myself. Good one. So, just to recap, we've got. Captain George Pollard. Owen Chase, first mate. Owen Chase, he had a crew in Hollywood soon after. I know Hollywood wasn't around for 120 years or something, but still, I reckon he went straight to Hollywood.

And we got Thomas Nickerson Cabin Boy. Owen Coffin, the guy that Captain Pollard promised he'd look after his relative. And then finally, Matthew Joy. Matthew Joy, a little sunshine boy. Some great names in there. All right, so they're the five we're going to talk about. For the most part. Right.

Fuck off the rest of them. The Essex and their crew departed Nantuckett on August 12th, 1819. Oh, my good year. They were expecting a two and a half year journey. They would take them down the east coast of South America through the treacherous Cape Horn below South America and then into the Pacific Ocean on the other side. So hang on.

When they're whaling, what do they do with the whale? I'm afraid to say that they kill the whale. No, I know that. But I mean, like, they don't bring the whale on board with them and collect whales as they go? No, basically, it's really brutal. But they see the whale, they jump in their four whaling boats and go after the whale because they can sort of get up really, really close.

And then one of them throws a harpoon into the whale, hoping that it will get in nice and deep. Yeah. And then they hang on to the rope that's attached to the harpoon and then the whale keeps swimming until it gets too tired and then it slows down and then they just stab it a lot and it dies. And then they row it back to the boat, which takes hours because it weighs several tons.

Yeah. Takes hours and then they get it close to the boat. Then they chop off the bits that they want in the water. So they cut off the blubber. And then they cut off the head. They bring the head onto the deck. And then they drain the liquid, the oil from within its head into barrels that they store below.

Yeah. That's more what I was thinking. And then they take the, you know, they try and take like a thousand barrels back or whatever. Whoa. Oh, that's messed up. It's really horrible. Yeah.

And not the most efficient working method either. It isn't, do you find it interesting that we like, certainly in the West anyway, we seem to be very anti-whaling. It feels like maybe more than any other animals, this is the one that people are very against. We're very, as a general, people seem to be anti-whaling. Stop the whalers. But not like, it's pretty common. Everyone else, you know, majority of people,

would eat meat and, you know, such things every day? Why do you reckon it is? Is it because they're just so much bigger? And I also think it because, like, they are quite endangered now because of human behaviour. Right. I think it definitely had a big resurgence as well after Free Willy. Ah, yes.

But people like, no, they're cute. Yeah, free will. It's kind of like how people kill dogs before Airbud, you know? Right. Then they're like, holy shit, they can play B-ball? Dogs are cute. And also, but it shows how silly people are because, Orcas aren't even whales.

Yeah. They're killer whales, that's right. You can't trust them. All right, so they're off on a two and a half year journey and disaster struck. How soon? On day four. Oh dear. It's going to be like a nearly thousand day journey on day four.

They were caught in a storm and Pollard ordered them to travel across the storm to get away from it. but miscalculated the strength of the wind, and they ended up being blown completely over. Oh, no. The ship now on its side in the water, it looked pretty bad. And the whales were coming. But luckily, you are actually predicting my next words here because another freak gust of wind caught the sails

and blew them back upright. No. And they were able to continue sailing. What? That's a lucky ship. It's a lucky ship. And we were making jokes about the hole in the phone. Everything I said was sincere.

Me too. this whole time. The ship was damaged and one of the smaller whaling boats was lost. Oh, the dingy. Captain George Pollard ordered the ship to turn around and return to Nantucket for repairs and to restock. But our ambitious first mate, Owen Chase, challenged the captain's decision.

You challenge your captain? I picture him with a leather jacket on and wind-swept hair and maybe Rayban aviators. Yep. James Dean. picturing James. And I'm picturing the captain to be a bit of a nerd so that when James Dean stands up to him, he's like, yeah, okay.

Jerry Lewis in nerd mode. Is that what you're doing? Yes. Or something more, I've gone for two very old references. You've nailed it. You've nailed it. Yep. Well, this is an old story.

Yeah, I think that's where my head's at. In this story, that would be a fresh reference. Yeah, no, I'm going for old references, but I don't have any old enough. Yeah. Well, our mate James Dean, Owen Chase, challenged the captain. He argued that if they return now, the crew would desert the ship. Many had never properly been at sea before,

and now they've just seen how dangerous it could be this early on, with a prospect of not returning home for two and a half years, I reckon I too might get out while I can. I wouldn't have gone in the first place. You made that very clear. They'd be like, do you want to come? No, absolutely not. Please leave me alone.

That's what I would have said. Get out of my bedroom, you sailing bastards. I hold all my business meetings. He's in my bedroom. So in your pyjamas tucked up in bed. Yeah, I'm cozy. They're at your bed, side. And please, we want you to sail with us.

Say, no, tuck me in. Well, I'll tuck you in, but please, we sail it at noon tomorrow. Nice late start as you requested. Perhaps if you read me a story, I will think about it. Okay, well, here we go. And the little... Do the voices. And the little elephant said,

Yes. Different voices for different characters. Yes, I'm the little elephant now. I know I'm happy to be here. You're having a boy here. I'm happy to boy here. Thank you. Please.

Now, will you sail with us? A noon? No. But thank you for the story. Good night. So she's getting free stories every night. Mama's no fool. This is the last time she gets me.

So Owen Chase is being like, No, we can't go back. Captain Pollard backed down and they continued on. This is just many times where the first mate and others would question the captain's decisions, and many times where he would just back down. This led his authority to be questioned and the ambitious first mate to only grow stronger with confidence. Oh, dear. So it's not a great combination.

You want any captain to be respected and his decisions listened to. And now you've got a few too many cooks happening. Oh, they've got cooks as well. Yeah. Yeah, that is. Someone's going to prepare the hard biscuits. Oh, that's true. The baguettes.

He does like, he does a test where he throws them on the ground and if they break their faulties. He doesn't. Not hard enough. He throws them to the sea. Back in the kitchen. I'm going to have a time out for a minute. No, have a time in. They killed a few whales on the way, spotting their first one off the coast of Brazil.

But they didn't get much oil. and had to press on to find more whales and more oil. After five weeks, they made it around Cape Horn under South America, quite a dangerous stretch of ocean. There must be so much blood on their boat. You know? Because they just bring the whale head on. Blood and blubber.

They found the waters off the coast of the other side of South America had been fished out, and there weren't many whales left to be hunted. They stopped off in Ecuador where one of the crew, Henry DeWitt, deserted, so now they were. were down to 20 men. Jess, he'd love that.

So he left. Yeah, now he's in Ecuador. And Henry DeWitt sounds like a real dumb shit, so. Happy to lose him. Henry DeWitt is a real dumb shit. That's where that old... That's where they were chanting as he left.

That's where that old children's nursery rhymes came from. Get off our boat. Do you reckon that's why he left? He was just being... Yeah, he's been... Being mocked. Yeah. Oh, DeWitt had no idea just how lucky he was.

Oh, dear. So now they're down to 20. They're actually... obviously a man down and everyone's got their own jobs, but they continue on with 20. They had heard from other whalers about a breeding ground of sperm whales in the middle of the Pacific and hoped that this was the place that they could find the whales to fill their oil barrels.

So they sailed deep into the Pacific, far from any shore and any islands. That sounds smart. Was this like, were they, had signs come far enough that they knew that whales weren't a finite, an infinite resource? Or were they thinking, you know, the seas are so big, ocean's so big, they'd be full of whales, there'll be whales forever.

Well, I can't say. I wonder when we realized that. No, Dave. Tell us what they thought back then. You know what, I think we realized that when we started to not need the whale oil anymore. Right. And when people couldn't become like millionaire and billionaires off of it, sadly. Yeah, right. Humans are pretty dumb, aren't we?

We're real smart too. True. What a dichotomy. And we can also be seriously terrible. But we can be so great. You know? God. You flip a coin.

Life or life. Oh, life. Or life. Or life. Do do do do. Just like Ricky Javei sang in the office, I think. On the way to the breeding ground, to restock and stretch their legs,

they stopped off at the Galapagos Islands. The Galapagos Islands are famous for their wildlife and the number of species that are found there and there alone. Charles Darwin would visit a couple of decades after this and complete many of his groundbreaking studies on evolution. So there you go. First the crew stopped off at Hood Island to fix a leak in the Essex. And whilst there, the men collected 300 Galapagos tortoises.

They're the giant slow-moving tortoises. They collected 300. Got to catch them all. They're the ones that live, you know, they live like 150 years. They were treasured by. sailors is they lived a long time without food or water and could be eaten as fresh meat throughout the journey. But where are you going to store them?

You've only got a tennis court. They put many in the hold below. They put many in the hold below, although some were able to roam around the deck. Imagine that. Oh, you just got little pet turtles. There's just these tortoises walking around. Very, very slowly. I like them.

Oh, one of my favorite animals. They're great as well, but that feels weird to me. Got really weird dicks, though. But it makes sense. Didn't they really? Yeah. Tell me more. Save it for Keene for Pina episode.

Yeah, you're right. I'm just going to talk about different animals, weird willies. Yeah, duck dicks. This is a good Patreon bonus. This kind of goes in and then like expands. Really? Yeah. Like Selly's No More Gaps?

Yes. Jess, would you like to tell me what's weird about that? Oh, no. Yeah, I've got a giant tortoistic. I never said that were a giant. It's going to leave 100. It'll out live us all. It's just me in the whales, my dick in the Wales.

We've nuked everything else. There's dick swim in the seven seas. Swim with the fishes. Hey, your dick's gonna swim with the fishes. Oh no. I got a little, I got a little wetsuit for it. It's real cute. Could I put some little goggles on there?

Can I, you need a little sunscreen on that? Here's a little oxygen tank. I had a custom made. I'm very good at my job. The customer is always right. Oh my God. His dick is filling the space. In this case, it's the open seas.

It's smothering us all. Ah, Dave's dick! And that's the ad for Sellies. Yeah. Sellies, no more Cs. Yeah, take care of the Cs for you. Give me one dick. So they got 300 of these tortoises, which is just insane.

Yeah. Then they moved on to Charles Island, also in the Galapagos, now renamed Floriana Island. Remember that name for another report? Oh. Floriana Island. I'm going to forget that. But then I'll know next time that it's something to do with that,

but I won't remember it. So that'll be fun. Hey? And then listeners will be like, Jess said she wouldn't remember this. And she doesn't. Go away. God, it's going to be so much fun.

Time out. Once on Florian Island, the crew collected another 60, 100 pound Galapagos tortoises. Wait, what? How many tortoises are there on this island? 360 they've got now. And as a prank, you know what you want to,

you love a good prank. You guys love a good prank, right? Yeah. As a prank, one of the crew set a fire on the island as they're leaving. That's fun. And being the dry season, and the flames quickly spread into a raging inferno.

That's a fun prank. Captain Pollard's men barely escaped back to the ship, having to run through flames to escape, and a day after they set sail, they could still see smoke from the burning island on the horizon. I think I saw that episode of Punk. Yo, you've been punked. I mean, who doesn't love a good prank, that?

That's fun. I know, I love it when people destruct an island. This island will destruct. The Smithsonian writes Many years later Charles Island was still a blackened wasteland And the fire was believed To have caused the extinction of both the Floriana tortoise

And the Floriana Mockingbird End quote Because there's in the Galapagos Because it's so in the middle of nowhere There's all these animals that over time have evolved To be these animals You can't find anywhere else So they've got just that island had its own type of tortoise

And now They just burn it all What? Did we have the name of the fire starter And a prank. Never identified. Captain Pollard himself was furious and wanted to punish the person, but didn't find out who it was. What a weird. That's bad.

Hey, it's a prank. Oh, and I forgot. Sorry. That is fun. That is fun. All right. You can speed anything. Cosing extinction.

Punch you. Floriana tortoise. Yeah. You got punked, bitch. Boom. There's a camera there. There's a camera there. What's a camera?

A camera. What's a camera? I don't think there's anything more heartbreaking than an extinction. I know, your stupid prank just killed two entire species and many more animals. They continued on the fire raging behind them. They'd been on the seas for 15 months when they finally reached the offshore ground where mating female sperm whales could be found. This is the place they wanted to go that the people in Ecuador told them be a good place to find. Lots and lots of these whales.

are now more than 1,500 nautical miles or 2,800 kilometres from the Galapagos, and those islands themselves are very remote. So they're basically in the middle of fucking nowhere. It was at this point that some of the crew started to get a bit restless. Here they were 9,000 miles from home with one task to collect whale oil. Every day they went hunting, and yet time and time again they came up empty-handed. And remember, they're only profiting if they get the whale oil. It's not really a wage-based thing.

You've got to get the oil. First you get the oil, then you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women. Right. It's a system that works. Hey, you want to read a question now? When they went out, the crew divided into three groups of six, each of which would man one of the three usable whale boats whenever whales were sighted. The remaining two men would stay aboard and manage the Essex. The two remaining men would stay aboard and wank tortoises.

Who's on tortoise wanking duty? I said It's 360, all right Get the rubber gloves And how would you keep track Of the ones You had wanked

Well you'd say it Because they got the huge Space filling dicks out Why would they want to do that They've lost all their space again Yeah Don't do that Stop wanking them

That's what I keep telling them Yeah But you know You know what happens on the seas Stayes on the seas So on November 16 The man went out out in three small 25 foot whaling boats as usual.

First mate Owen Chase directed his boat to a clear patch where he thought a whale might surface. And it did. Unfortunately, it did so directly beneath the boat and threw the men into the air and the men had to return to the main ship clinging to a wrecked boat. It was a bit of a bad omen. Yeah, whale. One for the whales.

So that's one of three boats. So there's one captain by Captain Pollard, one by first mate Chase. And the third one is second mate. Matthew Joy, so they're all in charge of five men each, and they go out every day. And Owen Chase just had his boat fucked up. Four days past, some time was dedicated to repairing the broken whaling boat. When in the distance, one of the ship's lookouts saw the spout of whales. The weather was calm. It was a good day for hunting, so they sent the whale boats out, hoping to finally get a bunch of this oil. Chase again got close to a whale, and as he was about to throw his harpoon,

the whale panicked and hit the side of the small boat with its tail, putting another small hole in it. I had to limp the damage vessel back to the Essex for repairs. So it's been smashed twice now. That's two for whales. Panicke in whales, huh? I'm panicking whales, huh? I'm panicking.

The other two whaling boats, captained by Pollard and Joy, were still out in the water some way away, and Chase, feeling like he was missing out again, furiously worked to fix his boat so we could get straight back out there and get some more whales. It was at this point that our young cabin board, Thomas Nickerson, now 15 years old, is that a birthday? He spotted something in the water not far away from the ship.

It was a huge male sperm whale and estimated 85 feet or 26 metres long, which was almost as long as the Essex itself. So basically, it's the length of a tennis court. It was the largest whale that any of them had ever seen. A typical sperm whale is usually no bigger than 65 feet or 20 meters. Okay. So it's massive. If their estimate of its size is accurate,

it's likely that the whale could have weighed 80 tons. Whoa. They could see the whale's head and it was covered in battle scars, probably from eating giant squid, which is what they often eat, and ramming other male sperm whales. Nice. He's a bit of a bad boy.

I love that. Now, he's got a leather jacket on, Matt. Yeah. This whale is wearing a very big leather jacket. I was just getting a picture for myself because I wasn't exactly sure. sure what they look like, which ones they were. But yeah, they're beautiful, beautiful whales. And have the real square heads.

A very big head, yeah. So he's got that massive head, but covered in scars, battle scars. This way. It's covered in scars. Beauty treatment scars. The paws is like, what kind of scars are they going to be? Some sort of. Emotional scars.

Yeah, you could see his breast augmentation scars. that we're healing up nicely. His confidence had never been stronger. Confidence at an all-time high. Unlike all the other whales that usually flee from the birds, this whale seemed to be floating on the surface of the water, letting out the occasional puff through its blowhole. It was almost like it was watching them.

I could just imagine someone with a cigar just calmly watching somewhere, as if we're about to do something. After two more puffs of his cigar, the whale suddenly dived and then surfaced about 30 metres on 90 feet from the Essex. At first the crew were a bit confused but not worried, as a whale had never ever attacked a ship before. Why would this be any different? Oh my God, they hadn't seen jaws. Did a whale attack a ship in jaws? In a way.

Spoiler. I haven't seen it. Haven't seen jaws. I don't think so. heaps and heaps of whales in it. I've seen plenty of parodies. I know that there's a shark. We're going to need a bigger boat.

Yeah, they need a bigger boat. A shark eats a beach. Yeah, it's a beach. Some sort of tornado. Yeah. End scene. It's beautiful. It's a masterpiece.

So looking at the whale, it's just surfaced 30 meters away, and they're wondering, what's this guy doing? But then the whale picked up speed, and it became clear that it was coming directly for the port side of the ship. Chase realized what was about to happen and shouted to Nickerson, put the helm hard up to try and move out of the way. Several crew members cried out warnings. Quote, scarcely had the sound of the voices reach my ears, Nickerson recalled,

when it was followed by a tremendous crash, end quote. The force of the whale smashing into the ship was so much that every man lost his footing, and Galapagos tortoises flew across the deck. No, they can fly? What are you doing there? Go home, fly home. Why? I'm sorry, your home has been burned.

Fly home. The men got up and were shocked and also amazed. Had that really just happened? They were also quite horny. They were all those big tortoise death around. And they'd been on the ship for 15 months. Again, never before in the history of the Nantucket whale fishery had a sperm whale ever deliberately attacked a ship. They were like, what the fuck?

The sperm whale swam under the ship and did more damage to the underneath of the craft, and Chase grabbed his lance. which is the not the harpoon but the thing that you use when the whale's tired that's what you kill it with it's like the final blow

he steadied his arm and was about to stab the creature whilst it was close when he noticed that it was close to the ship's rudder and he speculated that if the whale freaked out its tail because of its size

could smash their rudder and then they'd be in the middle of the ocean without any way of steering that's smart yeah it was quite a calculated kind of move there it was probably a decision he would live to regret

oh okay the whale's I'm about half a kilometer away and in the water started thrashing about and snapping its jaws wildly. What? It was pissed off. As if distracted, Chase Lader wrote, with rage and fury. Chase later wrote, Bob.

Yeah, I know. I've seen you that before when Nicholson was, Nickerson was recalling something. So now the whale was a while away, the crew began to set up pumps to pump out any water that may have rushed in after the hit. So they were distracted when Chase recalls, hearing a man shout, here he is. He's making for us again.

This is awesome. The men looked out and saw the whale again coming for the ship, this time travelling at twice the speed of its first attack. Yeah, it got a run-up. Honestly, it went out and got a much bigger run-up this time. Chase ordered a change of course, but it was too late to get out of the way. The noise was incredible as the whale hit just below the anchor, water flying everywhere. Now water can fly.

Let's go home water. This story is wild. Well, it is wild because the whale swam away and was never seen again. So it just hit the boat a couple of times. Twice, second time like a knockout. Then bail. And then he left. Water began running into the broken ship so fast,

the only things the crew could do was lower the boats and try and fill them with navigational instruments, some breadwater and a few supplies. They're bailing. They just left. Wow. The ship quickly turned on its side. The whole incident from the whale first.

appearing to the ship capsizing took less than 10 minutes. Whoa. What a whale is. They can hardly believe what's just happened. Whales never attacked a ship before and now it's sunk their ship in 10 minutes and now they're lying like in their small whaling boat going, what the fuck? What? We're going down, quick.

Get the horny turtles into a tortoises into the little boats. Is that what that to do? Or does they have to ride the turtles to safety? Unfortunately, because they're tortoises, they're not great at swimming. Oh. Like turtles. They're more land things. Yeah, because they got like feet other than flippers.

This is, for me. How did I not know that? Oh, they just don't turn a turtle and a tortoise. I did not know that a tortoise is not a great swimmer. I didn't know that either. What, do they walk on the bottom of the ocean? Yeah, they don't. They're like water.

They don't hate the water, right? They're still okay in water, aren't they? Well, they're just land. Did those tortoises drown? I can't believe a tortoise drowned. Sorry to say, but they probably drown. They can't swim. I didn't know that either.

These ones because of their size, they find it harder to float. And they're also from, yeah, they're so far from land now. Yeah, I mean, even if they could swim, they'd never make it home. Anyway, this is probably, for me, the craziest vigil is for the other guys, because remember that the other two whaling boats, Captain Bipollett and Joy, are still out hunting whales. Ah. They have no idea what's just happened back at the main boat, the Essex.

They're that far away. They're two miles away. So they can't. Distracted by a whale, you know, they've got the harpoon in or whatever, like chasing it down. When one of the crew members glanced over his shoulder and saw the Essex on her side, Look, look, he said. What ails the ship? She is upsetting, end quote.

But by the time all the men turned around, they couldn't see a thing, for the ship had disappeared over the horizon. The two boats let go of the whales. They were pursuing immediately and started rowing back to the ship. No idea what's just happened. By the time they got back there, it was on its side and sinking fast. The men all regrouped and everyone was in complete shock. Chase wrote, Not a word was spoken for several minutes by any of us.

All appeared to be bound in a spell of stupid consternation. Captain Pollard dropped into a seated position and just stared, bewildered to what he was looking at. Finally, he asked, my God, Mr Chase, what is the matter? Chase replied to the captain We have been stove by a whale We've been stove by a whale. Which is something

I would never even consider that this is a possibility. Stuart William Bond had salvaged two compasses, two copies of Bodeitch's New American Practical Navigator, and two quadrants that they could all use to plot a course. Basically, it's navigational equipment. They calculated their position and realized that they were about as far away from land,

give or take a couple hundred miles, as it is possible to be on planet Earth. Right. They're in the exact spot you don't want to be. They're literally in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, in the middle of the ocean. It's starting to feel a bit unlucky. Oh, it's crazy.

Is that book they needed? Does that make me worried that they need a book that sounds like navigating for dummies? Yeah, it doesn't. Boetich's New American Practical Navigate. I know. It doesn't sound like it's explaining to them. It's like they're watching a YouTube clip. How to navigate quick.

Oh, shit. That's insane. So there's now 20 men split across three small boats. They calculated that the closest land was the Marquesas Islands and the Society Islands. And Captain Pollard's plan was to set for those. They're the closest. We'll go for those. But again, Chase Owen, first mate, challenged his commander,

and he and a few of the other crew told him that the people on those islands he'd heard were cannibals. And if they wanted to survive, they should instead head south. I'm sorry, Chase Owen. Did you just get our boat rammed by a whale? I don't know, you're a fucking idiot. How about you just pipe down, lose some of that confidence, you're cocky little fuck? You could have stabbed it while you had the fucking chance, mate. And the lance.

But no, please, pipe in. Let me know what you think we should do, you dickhead. Keep piping. Yeah, I'll leave you in charge of the boat for five minutes. And you can't back. And you fucking sink it. A whale's hit it for the first time in human history. I mean, what the fuck?

It's like leaving teenagers at home alone, you know? You come home and the house has been. down and you say let's call the fire brigade and they said no no no no let's call the ambulance yeah and you're like oh okay i'm going to keep listening to you you idiot you dumb shit unbelievable this is why david i should never be parents together so chase someone's like separately very good parents very good parents chase owen's like no no no they're cannibals we're not going to go there to the close islands let's go south instead he argued that they should head for peru or chili even though much of the course which measured more than double the distance

4,000 miles, 7,400 kilometres, and it would be both against the wind and in strong currents. He said, let's do that. Let's travel 7,400 kilometers. That was chase? Yeah, in these small boats against the wind. Running against the wind. Bob Sega style.

He sounds like an idiot. Well, but freaked out by the thought of cannibalism, and as the Smithsonian puts it, quote, in one of the most ironic decisions in maritime history, Pollard agreed to the other men's plan. He said, all right, we won't go to the cannibal island or go to the further island. He said that it was one of the most... So the Smithsonian later described this decision as one of the most ironic decisions in maritime history.

Oh, they're about to get cannibal. You will see. In reality, the Society Islands in Tahiti, the ones that they said had candles on it, had been, quote, missionized for about 20 years by this point. And if they'd gone there, they would have been totally safe. Oh, my God. But they don't want to... Owens a fuckhead.

Which Owen? Owen Chase. Owen Chase. He's a fuckstick. He's a Hollywood bad boy, Jess. No, he's just a bad boy. He's naughty. He should go to his room.

But, yeah, it's just funny to have a strong opinion on something you really don't really know. He set fire to it. He set fire to the island. He's the asshole. Yeah, he does feel like the asshole is. Yeah, it's sort of been settled for two decades by this point. So instead they went the opposite. So now they're going for the long shot.

It's like let's go for land. Let's just go for land first. Figure it out from there. Yeah. Surely that makes sense to go for your best chance. Like going, oh, let's roll the dice and see if we get to this place that may be safer. Yeah. Or go to this place where a good chance of getting to.

That the captain said. And you go, no, let's listen to James Dean. Guy who dies young. He's 27. He's a 27 club? He's pretty young. So, I mean... Yeah, it's a...

So, I mean, you know, James Dean would have said, let's go to the further away Cannibal Island, I reckon. But, geez, he would have said it was smouldering eyes. Oh, God, he would look good. He didn't even make it the 27 club, just looking out, 24. 24. He's only 24. He only made, like, three movies.

Yeah, right. Why was he so popular? Imagine being such an icon. Well, you'll just look at him. Well, I mean, geez. I wouldn't like that. Just being bloody ogled. Well, it was more than that.

Just appreciate me for my brains. He had a presence. I don't know anything about him. But yeah, it is interesting. He's an icon from such a small amount of time. Then again, the Beatles were only together for like 10 years. That's true. That's true.

Dave, please do go on. I need to know what happens. The men reshuffled and divided into the three boats, which were only 20 feet long and had been outfitted with makeshift sails. They dive back into the Essex as much as they could to retrieve as many supplies as possible before heading off. Or of those very hard crackers. Well, they got a musket and two pistols. A couple of weapons there.

A bit waterlogged, but. Two large casks of bread and 600 pounds of hard tack. The crappy biscuit stuff. They did 600 pounds of it. But that means all the oil that they had already collected is gone. They've lost all the oil, yes. No. At this point, they're like, all right, we've got to survive.

Cut their losses. Fuck the boat. Fuck the oil. They start fucking the oil. Matt. They did say it's used in lube. They divided up the rations and supplies and each boat had what they estimated it as two months of provisions, which included 65 gallons of order, 200 pounds of hard tack,

and two Galapagos tortoises each. So they got some of the tortoises, which now they're in an even smaller boat with two tortoises just on the boat. Each. And they've got such big dicks. It's so big. To ensure discipline, Pollard gave each mate a pistol, keeping the musket for himself. So there's Pollard on one boat, there's Chase in charge of another, and there's Matthew Joy on the third boat. Second mate, Matthew Joy, had the black sailors on his boat and for some reason was given no navigational aids.

So good luck to those guys. They kept the compasses and everything on the other two boats. Because Diane had two compasses? Is that right? Well, they had two compasses and they also had two quadrants. Hey, all right, laters. Can they have just followed them directly? No, they're all sticking together.

But it's like if you get lost, fucking good luck. Right. Surely, yeah, surely they go in the middle then or something. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, again, a racist society. So there you go. Captain Pollard has his cousin Owen Coffin, the one he'd promised to take care of. You keep mentioning that.

You keep mentioning that. You're smiling. Okay. I'm just trying to tell you about where all the people, that I talked about, the five people. So you got Matthew Joy, he's on the fucked boat, basically. The one where they didn't give him anything. Something fucked is going to happen to the coffin.

My guess is everyone who dies gets buried inside of coffin, and that's where the word coffin comes from. Yeah, I agree. Before that, they called him dead boxes. Yeah. Now they call them coffin. Bring out the dead box. So Captain Pollard has his cousin, Owen.

The one that he promised to look after. The one he promised to care of. And on Chase's boat, he had the young cabin boy Thomas Nickerson. So they're the five that I talked about. They stayed next to the Essex for a couple of days to work out what to do. They were surrounded by a whale oil that leaked from the sinking ship and it began to cover everything. So it was on the surface of the water and then the wave started making it break over the side of the boat. So now they're all covered in this oil.

That feels apt. They are luby. So it's very, very slippery. They're sort of butter boys in a way. Well, they are now all buttery boys. Two days earlier it had been their fortune, but now was tormenting. them and making their life that little bit harder. Yeah.

Blubber boys. Regurgitate I wrote a song about them. They have a song called Blubber Boy? Yeah. Oh, they're good. I'm your blubber boy, you should rub me. Looking like a love child in the sea. Something like that.

And the sun a melting rub me on you. Oh, no, there's a sea bomb in there. You didn't say it. Regret starting that song. What does it all mean, though? That was almost a strange lyrics. Bernie Torpen. Esk.

Yeah. I mean, a masterpiece. They set off into the open sea and had to deal with the hot sun and had no shade. Their bread or tack quickly became saturated with seawater and eating it actually made them thirstier. They didn't actually, it got really, really wet and then they dried it out and they were eating it going, why is this making it's thirsty? And then after a while they twigged, it's just like we're eating bread covered in salt. These pretzels. This tag is making me thirsty

Which is a real problem Because I only allowed the equivalent Of one glass of water each a day Oh, that's not enough Under the hot sun and surrounded by salt No good You gotta have eight Eight glasses of water

Oh, whoops, we should have done that And then just be out there less to go All right, so we've actually only got One day of supplies But it's going to be a great day You're going to feel full and hydrated. You're welcome.

Does the whale oil work as a sunscreen as well? I reckon. Probably the opposite. Probably makes it worse. Yeah, but they get sick tan. Imagine the tan. There was no fish around and nothing to fish with, and rainwater caught in their sails

was found to be undrinkable due to the salt. So nothing's looking good. The men quickly began to suffer from dehydration and were smashed by bad weather, which meant the boats were also in constant, need of repair. Just when things couldn't get any worse in late November, Pollard's boat was damaged by a marine animal,

speculated to be a killer whale. So now they've been attacked by two mammals, not a whale. What a good save. What are they then? The sharks. They're goldfish. They're humans. In a way, aren't we all human?

They're the model of the story. They're the journey. They're the friends you made along. the way. They're free willy. Yeah. Oh, that's right. They actually, they are part of the dolphin family. Dolphins. Flipper was a spinoff. Yeah. On December 20, after a nearly month at sea. Nearly Christmas. And aren't they looking forward to it? I bet. After nearly a month at sea, having travelled some 1,500 miles or 2,800 kilometres, one of the men saw

land and everyone rejoiced. They had arrived at one of the Pitcahn Islands. It's a Christmas miracle. Just in time for Chris Mish. The men were so happy to be on land and ate whatever food they could. Eggs from birds, crabs, that kind of thing. But they quickly ate everything. They ate eggs from crabs. No, I think he meant crabs from birds.

Feathers, begs, crabs. They ate every little bit, including their crabs. Which, I mean, to you and I, it doesn't seem like a lot of food, but to people that have been starving for a month. Hey, you'd take it. I'd eat a crab. Would you? Off of a bird.

Noted. Some of us have dignity. They quickly ate everything on the entire island. That's not true. They eat the sand. They eat the ground. Did they eat the trees? Did they punk this place as well?

They did they eat each other? They didn't eat everything. Just in case they set it on fire. No, they ate all the food they could find and then they were like, well, we can't stay here. They found a bit of fresh water, but it wasn't. wasn't enough to sustain them. So they went to the chaos and they had all the bubble of bills, all the Barney bananas. They said, hey, how many bags are hot chips you got in the freezer?

Chuck them all on. Are you low on oil? Well, we'll help you out. We're a bunch of hungry boys. We're hungry blubber boys here. Have you got chicken salt? Look, it's not a deal breaker. We'll still eat them, but we'd prefer them with chicken salt, please.

And Tommy sauce, if you got it. Thank you. Thank you. Yep. Well, after a week of eating all the Tommy sauce, they decided that if they stayed here, they would all die and that they should take their chances at sea in the hope of hitting Easter Island,

which is 1,000 miles or nearly 2,000 kilometres away. Despite this prediction, three men chose to stay on the island. This would also help stretch the provision of the men for the men on the boats. So three men were like, ah, see you later, we'll take our chances here. But they didn't leave them with any rations or anything. Like, good, more for us.

Yeah, see ya. They're just trying to catch birds, eat the crabs off them. They're like, well, the kiosk is expecting a delivery of more hot chippies, so I'll wait here, thank you. I've developed a real ponchant for crabs. And they've made an inquiry about chicken salt and aoli. Thank you. So three on the island, 17 back in the boats. The men sailed on through the horrible conditions.

Two more should stay back. Second mate, Matthew Joy, who had been suffering from an undiagnosed illness even before the sinking, became the first man to die. He was buried at sea. They weighed him down. So they're not sure what he was sick with. He was just sick. He'd been sick for a while, and despite being in charge of one of the ships, he was the first to go.

Until this point, all three ships had been together. Is that what it means my first mate? First dead. He's second, mate. mate come on damn it it would have been funny though if I got it right wouldn't it

yeah you would have given me one of these you know like a yeah you would have given me one of those who are you going to get a snort out of him not a snort

an exhale oh an exhale there's no a higher compliment from Dave than an exhale than a nostril exhale look at him

you're just giving them out for free now we've just become an ASMR podcast Yeah, you like that? I'm guessing not a lot of people. This is me eating peanut butter. Oh, there are people gagging. There's some people who can't handle sex nuts.

I don't like it. You're one of them. I'm like, I know someone who really hates it. Oh, it's you. Yeah, I don't like it. Weird. Until this point, all three ships have been together. But two nights after Joy's death, the storm broke and Chase's boat was separated from the other two.

So now there was Captain Pollard. boat traveling with Joy's old boat. Which is the navigation free boat. Yeah. No GPS. So luckily they're not alone. Turn, take the third exit. None of that.

They don't have any of that. But luckily, they're still with Pollard, but now Chase's boat. Remember the one who probably fucked this all up in the first place. He's off on his own. Bye. Good. Eight days after losing sight of Chase's boat, these other two boats were quickly running out of provisions.

That day, Lawson Thomas, one of the sailors on Joy's boat, died. With at most a pound of hardtack left to share among the ten remaining man, the crew began to speak of the unspeakable. Cannibalism. Nathaniel Phil Brick, who was written a book on this called In the Heart of the Sea, cheerfully writes, quote, for as long as man had been sailing the world's oceans, famished sailors had been sustaining themselves on the remains of dead shipmates, end quote.

So it's normal behaviour. It's fine. It's obviously still an upsetting thing, but it was a bit more accepted amongst people in these situations than probably we would imagine now. Yeah, but I think that still has to be how it goes, right? Would you do it? Would you eat flesh? Or you're saying die or? Yeah, what are the options?

I don't know. I feel like I just imagine that something must kick in, some sort of survival instinct kicks in and you go. And you've got nothing to cook them, so you're just eating raw. Oh, no, they can start a little. little fire. Cook him on a hot stone. Now I'm interested. So they chopped Lawson Thomas up and they ate him.

Oh my God. They actually ate some of his organs raw. That's not good. They cooked his flesh and some of the other organs on a fire in the boat. So they cooked it over a hot stone. So it was a bit like a pan cooked meal. No. Just see it lightly.

Yeah. I'll have mine blue, thanks. Imagine that. I ordered a medium rare. This is rare. Can you put it back? Yeah. All the other way around.

This is too cooked. No, thank you. Uncook it. Anthropologists and archaeologists studying the phenomena of cannibalism have estimated that the average human adult would provide, on average, about 66 pounds of edible meat.

Not bad. But because of his already emaciated state, because they've been starving for so long, this body probably only provided about half of that. So they're not getting much meat off him. Oh, I hate this. I don't know what that really means. I hate this.

What's a good, what's a steak, you know, when you go to a bar, I can't even remember. Like 300 grams. 300 grams. That seems like quite a bit of meat. This is the two non-meaters having a go here. Well, there are 10 people and they haven't eaten in a long time. Right, of course. Over the next week, however, three more men died and were eaten.

Yay! They ate three more men. What the fuck? Do you reckon they'd start to get like, they'd, they'd, they'd be like, oh, shotgun this part, like there'd be parts of the body they liked eating. Yeah, probably. Yeah, totally.

You'd have a taste for certain, because everything tastes a bit different. Oh, it's disgusting. I hate this. I'm always, yeah, like, you take, yeah, you might be a rib, you might be a rib person. You like to eat between the. I hate that, no, never.

Okay. What, yeah, just a lot. The big, you want the rump and the, you know, those bits, right? I think it's a bum. I don't want to eat your bum. I reckon you do in this instance. Then in the complete pitch black of the night on January 29, I read one of them right about how, unless you've been in the situation,

you probably can't understand how dark it is out there in the middle of the ocean with no other light around. Especially if it's no moon, no stars on a foggy night. You literally can't see your hand in front of your face. It would be like people pay a lot of money to get that kind of, you know, that darkness. That darkness? Wait, no mobile phones. You know, you just back to next. nature, just with yourself.

Oh, I love that. Are you saying this is a retreat? I think it's like a retreat. What do you call it? What do you call it? PD days, personal development. Self care. Self care is the term. That's what we were discussing off pod.

Bit of self-care, Dave. Love that. You know, you've cared for the tortoises this whole trip now. Care for yourself in the dark. No one's looking. Is that self-care? You do about wanking? I guess wanking is self-care in a way.

It can be something small like listening to music you like or going for a walk But sure, a wank can be self-care Something big, like a wank It could be something small On the other hand So it's completely pitch black one night When on January 29 The two ships split apart

Uh-oh Basically the light came up and they're like, huh, they're no longer there I'm guessing there's no rope for them to have been connected or anything Yeah, I'm not sure, I think also they're about battling big waves, like in the middle of the ocean type thing, and they have a storm hits. And in the dark, like I say, you can't see in front of your face. Yeah.

It's not like you can see them right there. You think you'd just every now and then be like, you're there? Yep. You know, you go, Marco. Hello? All night. Yeah, it's very annoying for those trying to sleep. I don't know how much sleep's gone on this, but it sounds so bad.

And for, you know, the other boats around who aren't, you know, in this trouble. Yeah. How are it would be for them. They're just trying to enjoy their yacht. We're here. We're just on a cruise. Could you shut the fuck up? Sorry to get potty mouth there.

Shut the F and C up. The C in that case is cockswallop. Shut the fucking cockswollop up. Thank you. I mean, I was trying to keep sensitive ears, Dave's, away from such potty mouth. I'm googling cockswollop as we speak. Don't. Don't image it, that's for sure.

You will regret that. So the two ships split apart. Captain Pollard and his three remaining men were separated from Joy's old boat in which three people were still alive. Hendrix, Bond and West. So it's four in one, three and the other. And this was the boat. The boat with three was the one without a compass, and now they were alone in the middle of nowhere with no idea where they were. In fact, it's not 100% known what happened to these three men.

Months later, a whale boat with four skeletons washed up on Ducci Island in the middle of the Pacific. This could have been the men, but it's never been considered. This is pre-DNA. Pre-D-N-A. They were just like, well, that's a whaling ship and there's four bodies in there. Could have been them. So now Pollard ship is on its own, and so is Owen Chase's boat. They're separate from each other.

And the third one, we won't hear about them again because remember they possibly disappeared. But speaking of Owen Chase, let's check in on his boat. Well, they two had gotten mighty hungry, and when Isaac Cole died, they had the talk and ate him as well. The talk was, so there's the birds and the bees. I'm hungry, I know how sex works This is while they're chopping him up Okay, so what you want to do is When your mum and your dad love themselves

They love themselves very much They have a special cuddle All right This guy just keeps talking about self-care The whole fucking time Shut up He'd be the worst They don't want to stop wanking

Guys don't forget to self-care All right Now it's daylight And he's just sitting there with his back Kind of to them Looking over his shoulder again, don't look at me. There's no shame in a wank. We all do it.

We all do it. Remember to self-care. Do you guys want me to lead a meditation or you want to just do it yourself? Okay. You let me know. So Chase's men had the talk. They killed Isaac Cole when he died. And as more men...

They killed him when he died. Sorry, they ate him when he died. They ate him when he died. Sorry. You're double dead. now, mate. Try coming back from this. Slaping him across the face.

What if he was just really asleep and they started eating him? He'd been a real prick in real life. I think if you are about to eat a friend of yours, I'd make sure. I'd double kill him a few times. Dave, you can't kill someone with a slap. You've got to stab him. I'm slapping him like 400 times. Oh, no.

Just to be sure. face or bum Both All right You do the bum I'll do the face this time There's got to be a better way You get up to 300 and something

They're like Hey what's going on Lucky I check Like in a boxing count Yeah All right if he doesn't get up in 400 We're doing a 400 count As other men died on

Chase's boat They began to feast The rations of human flesh Did not last long And the more survivors they ate the hungrier they felt. Yeah. Ah, right.

I guess it's like starvation. You haven't eaten in three weeks or whatever. And then you're like, oh, had a bit of Matt. Got a bit of a taste for this. Mine, a bit of Jess as well. Yeah. Then you'd just be like waiting. You'd be hoping someone would die or worse.

Wow. Yep. Double die. Well, back on Captain Pollard's boat, the four surviving men realized that without more food, they would all die. On February 6, 18, 21, nine weeks after leaving the Essex, one of the sailors,

teenager, Charles Ramsdale, bravely proposed, but no one else was brave enough to say. He suggested they draw lots to determine who should be eaten next. Again, this sounds so brutal that apparently this was a custom of the sea dating back to the first half of the 17th century.

The sea's a bit fucked, isn't it? It's really. It's got its own laws out there. And when I say who would be eaten next, I mean who they would kill and then eat next. Yeah, interesting that they've stopped the waiting game. Was everyone equally healthy at this thing? Well, now they've all eaten.

They've all eaten. I think it's been like probably like, you know, 10 days have gone past or something. They're like, Jesus, we're all. It feels like, yeah, you want it to be just natural. Yeah, but like I think it's gotten to a point you're right that they're all equal and it's like, well, we're all going to die now or we're right. We'll have to take some mind. Also, if you wait until someone dies, they're less nutritious than that would have been. And I suppose you've left it so long that you might just die as well.

Oh my God. We're thinking about this too much. You want to kill them in a way that, you know, you don't want to spook them because then their meat gets all clenched up. So you want to make sure. They're relaxed. Oh, my God. You tell them to wank and then you shoot them in the back of the head. You want to feed them with only grain.

Yeah. So their liver is nice and tasty. And free range. Brain felt. The men accepted the proposal and they all drew papers, one of which had a black mark on it. I love that they had a pen with them. Eat the pen. Is that what you're saying?

No, you can't keep a fucking boat afloat, but you've got a pen. Guys. You got paper. Eat the paper. Charles Ramsdell suggested bravely what no one else is brave enough to say. Should we eat this fucking pen? Yeah. Smart.

Guess who drew the black mark? Oh my God. Is it the captain? No. Oh my God, it's coffin. Coffin. Coffin boy. The captain's first cousin that he had promised.

to protect through the spot. Upon seeing who drawn the spot, the captain shouted, my lad, my lad, if you don't like you a lot, I'll shoot the first man that touches you. Huh. Pollard even offered to step in for the boy. Wow. So, kill me instead of him.

So I think he sort of, I mean, if you believe his word, he kind of, I mean, the one who would potentially offer a different version of events. And then he said, wow, that's the biggest dick I've ever seen. You're a real hero, Uncle Pollard. Yeah, I surely don't want you to stand in my place, for you have the biggest dick. We must protect such a specimen. And, of course, it would be a feast for all the men on the ship.

We could live in your dick alone for weeks. But it would be such a loss to all humanity that you must live on. You must live on, for your dick must be seen. To be believed. My God, I mean, I couldn't even sketch it. with this pen that we should eat. So he even offered to step in for the boy, but apparently coffin would have none of it.

Quote, I like it as well as any other, he said. They then drew lots to decide who should shoot coffin. One in three chance now. And his friend... Coffin drew it as well. He's going to shoot himself. Oh, fucking hell, God.

I've got to do everything. Who's going to cook me? Do I want me to fucking cook me? Oh, I got to cook myself, do I? Fine. His friend Ramsdale was selected. Which is so brutal, another young guy. I feel like, surely just do it yourself.

You're not going to have to worry about the consequences. You're about to be dead. But also they're probably Christian you were saying. And suicide is sin. Is it murder as well? Not on the sea. Because I think it's like, well, it's kind of suicide if you donate him. Right.

Wow. Good loophole. You'll all die. Ramsdale hesitated a lot. but then his friend bravely lay down on the edge of the ship and they shot him. Well, he shot him. And the remaining three ate him.

Which is so effed up. Remember he promised a cousin that he would look after the boy and now he's eating him. Well, in a way, he's looking after him. Give you a beautiful home. Rotten me belly. Where are these guys from again? Nantucket.

Nantucket. I'm doing the Nantucket accent. Rottney. rotney old tumma-tommer. That was one of their local words for stomach. Also, they pronounce the C.H. In stomach. Thanks for clarifying. Over on Chase's boat, they were down to three survivors,

including the young cabin boy Thomas Nickerson, who had all but given up and lay down in the ship waiting to die. The others tried to talk him out of it and say, oh, we're going to get rescue, we're going to rescue, but he had none of it, basically. Lay down and refused to get up. They thought he was days away from dying. This was until one of the men spotted a sail in the distance.

It was an English ship called the Indian. They had to chase it down for hours, hoping desperately to be spotted. And they were. They were rescued after 89 days at sea. Three of them survived. Is this, sorry, is this on Owen Chase's boat? Fuck, he doesn't deserve to be saved. Yeah, the guy that was sort of making all the wrong.

decisions but cabin boy Thomas Nickerson survived. He lay down waiting to die and they thought that if it had been another day he probably would have just gone. Wow. Do you know what he did with his life? I will tell you later on. Awesome. But by now 300 miles away Pollard's boat carried only Pollard himself and a sailor named Charles Ramsdale. Twelve days earlier crewman Bazilli Ray

amazing name had died and I hadn't eaten since. So there's two of them left. Shit. The two famished men cracked open the remaining bones of their shipmates, then began eating the marrow inside. It's real yuck.

They were so weak they could barely lift their heads and were drifting in and out of consciousness. I know that's a thing people do. Don't at me, but I, that's, I don't like that. Well, eat human marrow. Neither do I. Not human. Don't at me.

You human marrow love it. The human marrow society. Not a human, but they'll eat the marrow out of bone, animal bones and stuff. I'm not a big fan of that either. Makes me sure, yeah. I never really,

I don't really get the drawing the line. It's like, if you eat some of it, just eat it all. Well, that's what they're doing. So they've got all these bones and they're just cracking them open and sucking out the remaining,

whatever's left. They were also, by this point, drifting in and out of madness, obsessing over the remaining bones. Phil Brick, The author that wrote The Heart of the Sea writes, quote, They stuffed their pockets with finger bones.

They sucked the sweet marrow from the splintered ribs and the thigh bones. Is it sweet? Yeah, sweet. Yeah. Interesting. Then suddenly they heard a sound. Men shouting and then silence as shadows fell across them. And then the rustle of wind in sails and the creaking of spars and rigging.

They looked up and there were faces, end quote. Crew men aboard the American ship called the, Dauphin had spotted Pollard's boat. But by this point, delirious and confused, Pollard and Ramsdale did not rejoice at being rescued, but simply turned to the bottom of their boat and stuffed more bones into their pockets. Basically, they'd gone absolutely insane.

No. Safely aboard the Dauphin, the two delirious men were, quote, seen sucking the bones of their dead messmates, which they were loath to part with. So they didn't want to give up the bones. They had absolutely lost. the plot.

For a time. It's like we've got some food here. You want it. Yeah, I know your tricks. You just want me bones. You want my finger bones. Despite his madness on board the boat,

Pollard recovered fast and ate dinner with the captain of the ship that had rescued him, as well as the captain of another whale ship from New York that happened to be in the area. They were like, you've got to come on board and listen to this guy's story.

Pollard was desperate to tell them his story in great detail. One of the captain's wrote down everything that he said after the dinner and described it as, quote, the most distressing narrative that ever came to my knowledge. Wow. The five survivors from Pollard and Chaser's boats were reunited in Chile

and after recuperating went back to Nantucket Island together. And as for the three men that stayed on Henderson Island, remember they left three men there? Yeah. Well, they survived for nearly four months living on crabs, birds, eggs and berries, and were eventually rescued by an Australian ship. Yay!

the spirit of Tasmania. Yeah, it finally came through. So they actually made the... Oh, good-day, Cobber, hey, go, my! They didn't have to eat each other. They had a much better time. Yeah. And they had vegamide on a...

They were living on a, you know, paradise basically on the island. You tell me berries and crabs and birds. I'm in. I think the thing is, if 20 men would say they wouldn't have had enough, but three were like, hey, I found a stash, don't tell the others. Yeah. Stay here and die. Don't worry about it.

I'll go back on the boat. All in all, 12 of the original 21 men never made at home. Many of their bodies eaten at sea. By whales. Calm as a bitch. Wow. Upon returning to their Quaker community, what they had done to survive was widely known,

but forgiven as necessary for survival. So it wasn't seen as a sin. However, Pollard had to face Nancy Bunker Coffin, the cousin whose son he had promised to care for, She never forgave him for eating her son. I imagine that would be hard to forgive. I reckon she's a stuck up bitch. It's the sea.

Nancy. Was it Nancy? Yeah. Come on, Nancy. He ate her son, Jess. Yeah, but his dick had to be sea. And do you know how sweet his marrow was? It was so, so sweet.

Please stop telling me that. I know. The sweetest marrow of all came from your son, so. Please, I don't need to. to know that, please stop telling me that. This Nantucket accent is really hard to tie down. You're doing very well though. Please.

Yeah. Please, my name is Nancy and I just don't want to keep hearing about the marrow. Now, tell me one more time. Tell me about my boy. What was his last words? Ow! Ow! Why did you shoot me in the foot?

It's a bad shot. Captain Pollard did return to the sea. Oh, no, retire. Guess how long? When you say the seed, do you mean the cockswollop? No, no. He went sailing out in search of whales. Guess how long before he went back out?

Two weeks. Two years. In between three months. He was home for three months after that ordeal, which is the same length that he was lost at sea for. He's bad shit. I think he's still mad. Well, he captained another ship called the two brothers.

I'm not getting on his fucking boat. It was actually the whale ship that had brought him home from South America. They were like, oh, you can captain this. Yeah, this one was lucky. This one was really lucky. Well, young cabin boy, Thomas Nickerson, and Charles Ramsdell, the man he'd eaten bones with, chose to sail with him on the ship again.

They went back to sea with him. The two brothers also sank. This time off the coast of Hawaii. No one died in this incident. However, this was the end of his sailing career. Yeah, I reckon. Good. From here on, he was considered by many as a,

quote, Jonah, which is what you call an unlucky person on the sea, and no ship owner would trust him again to sail, so he was forced to retire. In the Bible, Jonah is swallowed by a large fish or a whale. So his sailing career was over by the time he was 30. He spent the rest of his years as a night watchman on Nantucket. So there are other jobs. That's right. He was sent in to bat.

And what a brave, what a brave innings he put. He blocked all night. Jess, you get that cricket joke? Yes. I'd generally the only I've only ever heard night watchman used as a cricket term. Oh right, he was like a caretaker. He wouldn't, you know, go around with a torch at night

to make sure nothing dodgy was happening. Night at the museum, you know? Yeah, a bit like he was on night shift for the rest of his life, basically. Ben stiller in it. Chuck the Jonah on the night shift. Owen Chase, our man that probably fucked it all up. I hope something bad happens to him.

He wrote a tell-all book a year later and pissed off the Quaker community because they didn't want the story to get out there. This is the memoir that you remember right at the start that Herman Melville read and inspired him to write Moe Depp. Chase went back to Whaling as well. All five of those men that, you know, had to eat their friends. They all eventually went back to whaling in one way or another. Yeah, insane.

But the horror of Chase's early 20s caught up with him when he grew older and he started compulsively hoarding food in his attic. He was later declared insane and died in 1869, which I think we can all agree. It's a very good deal. Nice. Nice. But I wanted something really bad to happen to him.

That sounds awful. He went mad many, many decades later. I'm guessing he, I mean... I want him to go on a book tour and get hit by a bus. I think he just had more of a slow post-traumatic stress time. Yeah, it just sounds like... Which I'm not wishing upon anyone. It feels like hip.

That kind of thing, it feels like no one's coming back. I hope he's lonely, unmarried and impotent. I don't know why. I think he's dead now, Jess. Oh, yeah. He is dead down. 1869. Nice.

Thomas Dick is in the cabin boy who asked what happened to him. He worked his way up on ships throughout his life and became a captain himself. So things worked out for him. In 1960, after almost a century lost in an attic, a manuscript that he'd written, detailing the event was found and brought new perspective to the story. So before he died, an author actually suggested to him, that's a crazy story you should write down your perspective. And he wrote it.

He sent it to the author. The author got sidetracked with something else and it just got locked in an attic gear for nearly 100 years before someone found it and read it and went, huh. And they told a maritime museum in Nantucket and it was published in the 80s. Wow. And did it, oh, I mean, you've probably used some of that in this. Yeah, so it became a new great source on this because we had Owen Chase's diary and then we had Thomas Nickerson's account of it. I bet Owen Chasers was a lot of, yeah, and then I bloody nailed it again.

Well, he actually, it's funny in his diary, which I think was pretty honest, but he actually left out the part where he had the opportunity to stab the whale. He didn't write that in. Other people told that part of the story. Like, yeah, I was with him. That guy, he just stabbed the whale and none of this would happen. He, of course, did not mention that. Interesting. And as for Herman Melville and Moby Dick, he was very much inspired by this harrowing story.

And now Moby Dick is seen as one of the greatest novels of all time, but sadly it was very much overlooked in his lifetime. By the time of the author's death in 1891, it had only sold about 3,000 copies in his lifetime, and he never knew of its success. Interest in Melville as an author didn't start again until the centenary of his birth in 1919 and throughout the 20th century, many of his work. have now been praised as classics. Geraldine goes to the shops. Classic. Not an instant classic, but... Oh, it's a thinker.

It's a real thinker. Yeah. Because why should go into the shops? It's a metaphor. She's already got everything she needs. But does she? The Nathaniel Philbrick book I mentioned and drew from earlier was adapted in 2015 into a film of the same name in the heart of the sea.

It was directed by Ron Howard and starred our very own Chris Hemsworth. I personally hadn't heard of it I've heard of that So that's about It's about this story Is it A sort of a fictionalised account And he goes and speaks to Herman Melville

I haven't seen it But Ron Howard and Chris Hemsworth Worked great together in the film Rush Love that film So I think I'll check it out And finally As for why this happened in the first place Remember in the history of the whaling company

A Spoon Whale had never attacked the ship People were wondering Why it happened It is believed by some that sperm whales may use clicking signals to communicate up to five miles away. And people have, when they've listened to it, it actually sounds a bit like a hammer being hit. Right. Leading to it to be nicknamed the carpenter whale because of the noises they make.

People speculate that hammering on the Essex by Owen Chase to repair his whale boat may have been picked up by the male whale. and remember they're in breeding time, the male whale may have thought the Essex was another giant whale invading his territory and that's why he had to attack it. Because he's a giant whale. It was a similar size to him as well. That makes sense.

So maybe he heard the clicking and that's why he was hell-bent on killing what he thought was another whale. Trying to get on his ladies. That makes a lot of sense. But yeah. And I'm somewhat of a whaleologist. And that is the story of the Essex. That is a wild story.

What an epic. And that was a wild story. That was the offshoot of the story I was recent. That was wild. That's why, you know, I read it and I was like, uh, okay, I've got to talk about this. Yeah, that's amazing. Absolutely.

Absolutely amazing. And I'll link to some articles below that I got hooked on. There's one in Vanity Fair from the year 2000 by Nathaniel Philbrook, who went on to write that book and one on the Smithsonian website that, uh, and also a documentary that I'll link to it. Fantastic. Fantastic stuff. It's a little bit, um, like one of your,

other ship epics. Yes, but sadly, unlike Shackleton, where they all survived. Yeah, this one was way more brutal. Woo! Really brutal. But it makes you think, would you eat people to stay alive? And I imagine that, like you said, in that situation, something clicks over and you just... You start putting people's fingers in your pockets.

Get busy living or get busy dying, am I right? Yeah. Get busy eating your friends. Or get busy dying. Or get busy being eaten by your friends. Yeah, I know. Wow. I'd like to think I'd sacrifice myself, but there's not much meat on these bones.

Yeah, that's a great defense. But also maybe one of the reasons why you'll die one of the first ones. I've also been told that my marrow tastes terrible, so please. Oh, yeah, mine too. Someone said, ugh, that was one review. Well, if one of us had to get eaten, shotgun nut. Oh, shotgun nut. It would be me.

It would obviously be me. Why is that? I got the most meat on my bones. Oh, okay. Do you claim that title? My marrow's very sweet because I'm a little cutie pie. Got a cutie pie marrow. That's true.

It's very sweet. That's true. But that does bring us to the end of the report. And in true Durgaon style, we're going to finish with our fact quota question, Matt. Oh, what a great time. I mean, what a great report. I reckon that's, I've never heard anything about that. I really don't know much about Moby Dick either.

It just seems boring. Yeah, it does. It's like, oh, but there's. And you tell this story and like, oh, that obviously is not going to be a boring story. All I know about Moby Dick is that it's a metaphor. Yeah. I'm not sure what for. The White Whale's a metaphor.

We're all chasing it. We're all chasing it. We're all chasing it. We're all chasing it. Yeah. Are you like, what? I think it's heroin. Oh.

Is that right, Dave? We're all chasing heroin. Yeah. So this week's fact quote or question in our segment fact quote or question comes from Patreon or patron. Do we know what? Do we call them Patrions or patrons? Patron. Patron. Through Patreon. Yeah. Is Noah Hilvati? Sorry about the pronunciation here. An H in O'n L and I don't know how to say it.

Helvati. Yep. Thank you so much, Noah, for your support on Patreon. You can get on to Patreon at patreon.com slash do go on pod. And with the fact, quite a question. You also get to give yourself your entitled and Noah's given himself the title of Senior Advisor to Podcast. I love the efficiency of that title. I love it, it's Senior. Yeah. Like he's worked his way up.

I think he has too. He's on the hard yards. Yeah. And he's given us a question slash fact. And it is this. So I'll ask the question and then give the fact if you two don't know it. Okay. Where in the world is there a nearly eight month long lightning storm?

Iceland No Norway Is that a trick question Like the moon No it's not it's a It looks like a real place Am I close

Yeah I think most Yeah it's cool I imagine it's close to the ocean But it's on land I think I'm not sure I've never heard of this I don't know why Catatumbo Venezuela

Oh Off the coast of Venezuela Oh Jess was right Off the coast of Venezuela of Venezuela, the everlasting storm rages for nearly 260 days per year, with over 1.3 million lightning strikes a year, or nearly 250 per hour. Interesting factoid! That is terrifying. What a place to avoid. Yeah, but imagine being near it so you could see it. I'm not going there on holiday though. I just want to sit on the beach in the sunshine, you know? Yeah, but imagine doing that and

then in the background, just non-stop lightning. That's cool. That'd be sick. It's like in the Hunger Games, in the second one, where they can control different parts of the island. It's like that. Like you could sit up on the ridge and watch like a lightning storm over there, but not be in it. It's pretty amazing.

Yeah, and you shoot arrows and your name's cat piss. Cat nifts. Jess, please. So thank you so much, Noah, you bloody star. and another part of our patron segment at the end of the show we thank a few of our fantastic patrons and just we normally have a little game and you give us a little game based on the topic.

Can we name their ship? I think we can, Dave. I mean, that's better than going with cannibalism or anything like that. How quickly would you die? Would you eat them? Would you eat this person? Ooh. No, let's go with the ship.

First off, it is safer. I mean, but the ship could go. But it's a lucky ship. They're all lucky ships in the truest sense of the word where they don't sink. I'd love to thank from Bothel in the United States of America, Mr. Jonathan Bragg. Jonathan Bragg. It's a good name. It's a great name.

Ship is the destiny. Ship is the destiny. Okay, I like it. Yeah, I was thinking like some sort of cocky thing, but I like that. Destiny's. And do they have a smaller boat called Destiny's Child? Yes. No.

Okay. Great, it is agree. What I mean? Pretty good. Sorry about that, Jonathan. I'm allowed to have a small boat on your big boat. I'm sorry that you can't have everything. I just gave you a boat.

Yeah, Jonathan, honestly, just just gave you a boat. Can he have a small submarine called Destiny's Child? Yes. Thank you. Thank you. She just said no. No. Yes.

Oh, that's like mum and dad can't agree again. Oh, God. It's on a submarine. Thank you so much, Jonathan. I'd also love to thank from Nagoya in Japan, Ashley James. How exotic. Ashley James. Thank you so much for your support, Ashley James,

and I think your boat would be called the Spearmint Elefonte. Oh, my God, I love it. Oh, wow. Also, Spearmint, yum. Yeah, yum. And I think, because it's Spearmint Rhino, I think, is a strip club franchise. So I don't know what the Spearmint Elefonte is, but I think it sounds like a

classic a strip club than the run. Yeah, I see. It's like they respect the girls there. Right. But thank you, Ashley. The Spearmint. Can I thank some people? Elefonte.

It is fun to say. Yeah. Can I thank some people as well? Yes, please. I would love to thank from London, where we just were a few months ago. God, it feels like it was. Only a few months ago.

Yeah. Can't wait to get back. I'd like to thank Luke McKernan. Oh, Kern. McKernan. Great, North Melbourne Ruckman was named McCurnan. Corey McCurnan. The Ruckman.

The Ruckman. Oh, yeah, good one. The Ruckman. I like that. The Ruckman. Sounds like it's not going to go down, which means it probably will go down. Yeah, it's not like that. So thank you to Luke.

And I'd also like to thank from Garland in Texas. Fantastic. John R. Mays. Is that a name? Amaze. Is it supposed to be John? I mean, that is. If you're a parent...

Amazing. Oh, I see. Did you do that? John? That's... Is this real? Your parents? Is this reality?

Are we being punked? You're going to set out of our island? Don't! We live in a very big island. So what's the ship called? The SS punk. The SS punk. S Sunk, yeah.

Punked or punk? What does SS stand for again? Sailing ship? Salty... Salty. Yeah, sailing ship makes more sense, doesn't it? It's probably not that. I reckon I do know that

Well, you don't because you can't answer it right now We can hear you Googling Dave, you've been disqualified I mean steamship Oh, I did not know that Steam ship Steampunk The SS Steampunk

The SS Steampunked Stevepunked Dave, would you like to thank some people I'd love to punk some people Thanks so much John Amaze You are amazing I'm gonna punk a few people now I'd like to thank from Waterlooville in England

I'd like to thank Sam Gain Gain Leg day The mighty leg day Gain Gain Gain's a white guy Like white game Oh the dumbbell Oh I like that Oh okay

Sounds a bit sinky Nah Yeah down down like a dumbbell No that's good No it's fine You think of something better then Um, float bell. Oh, yeah, it's perfect.

I love it. Wait, what did you, but Waterloo, there's Napoleon there? Abba. Abba. The Abba. The Abba. The Abba Dabra. Is one of them Frida?

Did I fuck that up? No, you did, yeah. You got Patty and Selma. No, you got, you got Fred, Wilma. Wait, what are we talking about? The name is it, Abba. You've got Sigrid. Thornton.

What? What? What are we talking about? Stop! See change? I think the ABBA. I can only think of Benny and Bjorn. We've got Agnitha.

Oh, beautiful names. And Annie Fred. What? Annie Fred. You're thinking there's an F in there. I'll pay it. Annie Fred. Beautiful.

Two beautiful names. Just name the fucking boat. All right. It should be the Agatha. It should be the Agatha, Bjorn, Benny and Annafrew. And then Abba fans would get it But other people would be like, what's that mean? Yeah, I love a niche joke.

Yeah. Huh? Sam Gain, I know you're a big Aber fan, so we did that for you. You're welcome. Sam Gain, great name. Thanks for your support, appreciate everything you do for us. And I'd also like to thank from Dublin in Ireland. Chauvonne LaVelle.

Oh, that is great. What a name. What a name. Jess's favourite town in the world. Correct. You got a name? The Riverdance. Oh, captained by Mr.

Flatley himself. No, God, no. No, Captain by Chavonne. Chavon, of all people, knows how great riverdance is. I meant to say driven by. Driven. Driven. First mate. Yeah.

Whoever, who's on the wheel? Flatly. He's tapping away. Tipper to tap. Ninety-six taps per second somehow. Somehow, don't get it. What a guy. What a man.

What a mighty good man. Is that Sultan Pepper? Thank you so much. Shavon, LaValle. Sam Gain. John Amaze, Luke McCarine, Ashley James, Jonathan Bragg, beautiful bunch. You are the class of episode 170. Thank you.

Well done. Good for you. Thanks so much for tuning in everyone. That does bring us to the end of the episode. We should say we've got things coming up if you want to come to see us live. We're in Adelaide and we're in Melbourne and we've got other dates that we'll probably be announcing shortly. And you can find out more about that and everything else at dogoonpod.com.

You can find out about my tour through Perth, Brisbane, Adelaide and Melbourne at Matt Stewartcomcom slash gigs And if you use the discount code Do go on to get a discount And anything else you should say Dave's bookcheap podcast is going bloody great guns Check it out if you love books

If you like books like Or if you don't want to read the book Check it out Even more so And I do a podcast called Primates It's all about primates in popular culture It's just a fun, good fun time with funny people from around the place coming in to chat about nonsense-ish things,

but also primos, and we have a bit of fun. Thanks so much for joining us again. What an epic episode this has been. Dave, thanks so much for the report. Jess, any final words? Banana. That's a beautiful one. Thank you so much.

And as we always say here on the podcast, the latest. Goodbye. Bye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great I mean, if you want, it's up to you. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list so we know where in the world you are

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