Two In The Think Tank - 170 - The Essex And The Real Life Moby Dick

Episode Date: January 23, 2019

In 1852, Herman Melville published what would much later become his most famous work... Moby Dick, or The Whale. He based this work upon a real life horror story that he'd read about. Twenty years earlier, a whaling ship called The Essex had been attacked and sunk by a giant sperm whale. Alone and literally in the middle of the ocean many thousands of miles from civilisation, the crew had to do some questionable things just to stay alive. This week's episode is all about their epic quest for survival. Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodTickets to live shows in Adelaide on March 10 and at The Melbourne Comedy Festival: https://dogoonpod.com/events/ Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPod Instagram: @DoGoOnPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/ Email us: [e-mail] Book tickets to Matt's stand up show (in Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane and Melbourne) with the early bird discount code: dogoon via mattstewartcomedy.com/gigs  Check out our other super fun podcasts: Book Cheat: https://omny.fm/shows/bookcheatPrime Mates: https://omny.fm/shows/prime-matesREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2000/05/essex-200005https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-true-life-horror-that-inspired-moby-dick-17576/https://www.britannica.com/topic/Essex-whaling-shipThe True Story Of Moby Dick Documentary:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71sn-WDQoXIhttp://www.galapagos.to/TEXTS/NICKERSON.HTMhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Essex_(whaleship)https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/destinations/south-america/ecuador/galapagos-islands/articles/the-secret-history-of-galapagos/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution,

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in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do-Go-One. My name is Dave Wonicky and here before me is Jess Perkins and match to it. Here I am before you. Hi, I'm also before you bowing down to my Lord and Savio. Oh, thank you. I wasn't going to bless fame like that. I was going to say my like more royalty Lord, not some sort of God.

Yeah, like a Lord and tears but a man. Oh, please. But a man. But a man. He was a butter boy. Now he's a butter man. We covered David butter. You can't get a butter man. We covered David Butter. Can't get a grip on him.

We'll slippery boy. We'll slippery. Come here. Can't get a handle on him. He'll be. Remember that ad? Slippery little sucker. Grape.

Yeah, it was a grape. That wasn't an ad for grapes, was it? No, it was an ad for fruit salad. Fruit salad, yummy, yummy. SPC. And the kid was eating all of the... Slippery little sucker. He ate all of the fruit,

but he couldn't pick up the grape, because it's slippery. And he said slippery little sucker. Classic, ad. Oh, it's so beauty. And I still think that every time I see grapes, every time. Every time.

And that kid is now Dave Warnocky. Yes, here I am before you. Bell down. I am Dave. And I am before you. Bell down. Here I am, Dave. And I am the Lord. It is I, Dave. I'm so sorry. No, I'm not.

Lord of Butter. Yeah, he's a Butter Lord. Yeah, yes. Slippery, Butter Boy. Thank you. Thank you. Your butt's all buttery. Buttery butt.

Got a butter room. I got a cheese room. And you know what, my third room is full of Yes, go on porn mags porn mags Yeah, Dave hasn't figured out the porn's on the internet. Hey, when you spent tens of thousands of dollars on porn mags you doubled down Yeah

But once you've already flicked through a dirty mag, do you Do you, does it lose the Do you flick again? Yeah, does it lose it? Oh no, especially with David. How you say, how you say. Genesequat. Genesequat, thank you. Especially with these greasy fingers.

Yeah. My buttery fingers. How do you flick through the pages of a porn mag? Very easily. You could see right through them. It's like that episode of The Simpsons Where Homer Had A Test. He'd only ate things if you rubbed it on paper, the paypoint.com.

That bird flies into the window. Good times. Well, it's great to be here on the pod. And we're going to get going with my report very, very soon, but before we do that, we could quickly tell you that we've got some shows coming up, some live ones in Melbourne for the Melbourne Comedy Festival for Saturday afternoon. Saturday afternoon, yeah. Which we're looking forward to with European BKFA. Tickets

selling well to that, which is very, very nice. Thank you very much. And also just before that in March, March 10, we're doing a show in Adelaide for the first ever time. Yes, that's right. Come see the Butterboy. Come touch the Butter boy. Yeah, touch it. Touch it. Touch it. That butter boy. Lick the butter boy. Do not touch all lick the butter boy. Yeah, I should say that.

Only lick and touch the glass surrounding the butter boy. Yes, thank you. Thank you so much. Which are also made of butter. Yeah. I'll be serving crumpets afterwards. Mmm. It's a delicious butter boy butter.

I like crumpets with honey on them. Oh, let it feel into those little holes. I do not like those holes. They are a little bit creepy. Okay. You're a complicated. Yeah. That is my opinion on crumpets next.

Oh, that is a hot tag. So we are doing Adelaide. Please, if you're in that town, that weekend, please. Dave. I'd love to see you. Can't wait to get there. Get a photo outside the famous. Oh, please. I'd love to see you. Let's see. Can't wait to get there, get a photo outside the famous. Ooh, fuck.

What, I'm blanking on the Ronald Balls Balls. Ronald Balls. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Believe it, I'm blanking on anything famous in Adelaide. Now I was thinking the mall balls, but I was blanking on a r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r. Sorry about that.

Because you were thinking of Radellade. Radellade. And the famous Benford song, Adelaide. Beautiful song. Too beautiful city., Adolade, beautiful song. Two beautiful city. Really is a beautiful city. Can't wait to get back there. I'm also doing stand-up shows.

The show's called Bone Dry, directed by the great man and Butterboy Dave Warnakis. There's gonna be lots of butter elements. Butterboy! Everyone gets a free sachet. Coming out of very soon in Perth, opening on the 12th of February, which is a, everyone knows, a month I can't say,

but I had a bloody go at it. Say Feb. Feb, that's right. 12th of Feb, then I go to Rattleade, Adelaide, Brisbane, and then Melbourne for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, and you can find out details for all that at matstewetcomedy.com slash gigs. And if you use a discount code, do go on. I'm pretty sure that still works. And it, comedy.com slash gigs. And if you use this can code do go on. I'm pretty sure that still works and it gives a very good discount. And it'd be so good

to see that. It'd be so nice. Also use the code butter. Dave, you're going to have to send someone a message for that. Don't use the code butter. It won't work. It'll charge you triple. Yeah. But you'll get zero tickets. Yeah, and I will let you touch Dave's glass box. Thank you. Thank you. All right, now on with the report. Now I've written a report here, what we do here, on the show is the three of us ticket and turns

to do a report on a topic that the other two don't want it's going to be, and it is my turn. Do you see how well he explained that? I don't know, when it happened so quick, I didn't even hear it. Oh, finally did it. Thank goodness. Well done, Dave.

Well done, Dave. But you might get that. I took it off you for quite a while. Maybe you can have it back. Thank you. Why don't you never let me have a go? Yes, I know. You have tried to grab it back a few times.

Yeah. And every time. Why, how's it stuck? You started out so well. He's not a butter girl. Oh! Buttergirl Panics is what she does. No, I don't. I'm very good at it. Yeah, a bottle girl panics is what she does. No, we're doing.

I'm very good at it. Yeah, I'm Teflon. I'm cool and calm under pressure. I'm a cucumber. They're cool and calm under pressure. They don't, oh god, I'm sweating. Okay, so the report. Now researching another topic I came across this story.

Oh. So I've chosen another topic. And then this topic distracted me and I was like, all right, so I'm thinking I'm going to do the original topic as a part two next time. Oh, yeah, a bit of a sizzle for in a couple weeks time. Love a part. What does that remind you of? But they're not fully connected to stories but there's just a little little something something. Ships passing in the night if you will. Oh, sexy. Do I like the spirit of Tasmania? Yeah, what a ride. And the spirit of New South Wales.

A ship I'm trying to build. Pledge now to my possible campaign. There's two spirits of Tasmanias. Fuck. They pass in the knot. Okay, I'm... What do you get your ship out of the body? What's it got to do with my business idea? I'm what do you get your ship out of the body? What's it got to do with my business idea?

I'm an entrepreneur. I love the sea. Well, you're going to love this topic. I was going to play in the other day, right? I just think about it. I like boats. I was on a plane and we were landing in Melbourne late at night. And for a moment, I was on a window seat, Bragg,

and there's a light that just came on outside that like a yellow light was quite a foggy night, and I thought the plane was on fire. For a bit. No way. And I was looking around. It wasn't something on the web. Was it?

I can't believe that's funny twice now. Wow. Done the impossible. I was looking around and nobody else looked panicked and the flight attendants weren't standing up or anything. But I was like, that's flame light. It was kind of flashing like flickering. I thought the engine was on fire.

Oh my god. And then I was like, were you gonna tell anyone? Well, I was looking around and nobody, like I don't think it would... That's that sound like it. I think that would be something that would set off an alarm. It wouldn't be up to the passenger to notify the pilot, you know?

My thing is, in a situation where it's turbulent, I watch the estuards. And if they start freaking out, that's when I start freaking out. If they look a bit worried, you think, okay. What I do is just keep watching the movie. Yeah, and assume it'll all be okay. But I don't know, have you ever been distracted by music or something, not realizing you're landing? Oh yeah.

Suddenly, the land appears and you're landing. I've had that before and I thought we were crash land. Yeah. Because it's like bang. Oh my God, we're on the ground. What, what, oh, this is the plan. This is controlled, okay. Yeah, that is scary.

Sorry to bring that up, but I just. There you go, yeah, we get it. You've flown a plane before. Thank you. Anyway, sorry, Dave. Now, you said I love the ocean. I love the sea. We're gonna love this topic Let me just tell you that Now I've got a question to get us on topic the question is a real life incident involving a ship called the Essex Inspired which Herman Melville novel? novel. Herman Melville. I had many classic novels.

Okay. Let's list them. Toot toot from number five to one. Toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot toot Number four, love that classic. That was actually a sequel to this one, so that's good. Was submarines, was that a bit? Sorry, sorry, call. I have to go. Is there a colon after submarines? Yeah, that's good. All right, number two, the building up to it.

No, look at that white. Wow, I want to get it, but I won't. Because I'm into keeping things in love, baby. That's good. I mean, you can see why that wasn't quite as big a seller. It's number one, which is, of course, Geraldine goes to the love. Maybe. I mean, you can see why that wasn't quite as big a seller as number one, which is of course, um, Geraldine goes to the shops. Of course, that title. So you can't judge your book by its title, but you can that one. That's not his best work. So that's what the reports are great. Tell us all about Geraldine and, uh, I've been listening to it. I've all

read it. So I know the story, but I'm guessing you've uncovered some kind of interesting behind the scenes story about Geraldine goes to the shops. Of course, yes, I'm not gonna explain the story. This isn't Frickin Bookcheat or anything. Yeah, yuck. Yeah. Oh, no, no. Thank God, it's not that show.

Boo. That's catchphrase of this show. I think God is not that show. Of course the book I'm talking about is Moby Dick. Moby Dick. Oh, we were right. We were right all along.

Well, Moby Dick. The answer was, with inside, Gerald Dean go into the shop, it's all on. It was one of those dust jackets. It was over the top of a different book. That's right, you pull it off. Like I always do. Oh yeah. You gotta stop doing that.

It's so annoying. Yeah. So a real life incident involving a ship called the Essex inspired, Herman Melville to write, Moby Dick. And that is what we're going to talk about today. Can't wait. In the 1850s, American writer Herman Melville was already quite a well-known author with his earlier novel, Taipei, becoming a best seller.

That was number six. Yeah, Taipei. That's why it wasn't Taipei becoming a best seller. That was number six. Taipei. That's why it wasn't in our list. I know. That was his biggest seller in his lifetime, sadly. He found it hard to match his early success throughout the rest of his life. Do you reckon, because this happens a lot where people like Van Gogh were there really, really, really popular and have all their fame after they're dead.

Do you reckon that could be us? Yeah, yeah. I'm just gonna tell myself that that's the best. I mean, it's a great way to go thinking, all right, well. Now people will enjoy what they're dead. Now they'll care, my final words. I don't want to benefit from anything that I've done. All the hard work I've done and barely scraped by in life

has all been worth it to be remembered. I always... And your relatives become exceedingly rich. Yeah, and then really spoiled. Yeah, and it ruins them. I, like, we say this to each other all the time, I never want to be Van Gogh famous. We say that all the time. I messaged you just yesterday and I said, hey, Matt, Matthew, I never want to be bad at golf famous.

I said that, didn't I? You didn't say that. There wasn't a, didn't a Dutch person tell us while we're in England and that's not how you pronounce it? Well, it's definitely not. Yeah, they told us how to say it, but like, you had to cut out your tongue. Good luck. Yeah.

They made it. No, I think they made it tell like it was almost in the wedding. Hang it on. Let's not open that can of monkeys. That's not the same. They made no, I think they made a tell, I guess I'm not going to win anyway. Let's not open that can of monkeys. That's not the same. That can of... Please, don't make it all about monkeys, mate. This isn't fricking primates over here.

Yuck. Thank goodness it's not that show. You know what I mean? We'd be having too much fun. So in 1852 at the age of 32, Melville published what would later become his most famous work, Moby Dick or The Whale. Call me Ishmael. That is the opening line.

I know. That's all I know. Right, because it's told from the perspective of a man named Ishmael. Wow. Which is The Whale, right? Okay, I'm Moby Dick. Is like a superhero thing, is Moby Dick? Oh, it's like a. He's like a superhero thing is maybe dick. Oh, it's like a, it's like a Clark Kent.

Yeah, when he puts on the wild, the wild undies. Yeah. The wild undies. That's when he becomes maybe dick. But before that, he's ish-myle. But people don't recognize him without the undies on. Yeah.

It's like the Clark Kent with the glasses. The glasses on, you're like, oh, I don't recognize that guy. It's just a man standing there in Undies that have a whale on them. Yeah. How old is he? Can you get a grown-up underwear with little animals on him? Oh, there's a specially made. Oh, good, because I was asking because I want to get some.

Well, you can have them specially made. Well, I can have them specially made. Yeah. Well. Yeah, well, they've pleased to go on. A man of adventure in his 20s, Melville had worked as a sailor and joined a whale hunting ship for about 18 months before jumping the ship in French Polynesia.

Dave, jumping the ship? Yes, he jumps the ship. Well done. Thank you so much. French Polynesia, that's where he wrote the first novel, Taipei, about his time in French Polynesia. It was during this time at sea that he became obsessed with a story that was folklore for all sailors in that part of the world. He read a memoir by a first mate by the name of Owen Chase. It was a nightmarish tale that had taken place about two decades earlier. All the sailors knew the story well and had desperately hoped

to avoid living it themselves. Melville had been so inspired by the story that eventually he wrote Moby Dick. To celebrate the publication, Melville took a trip via a steamer to Nan Tucket, an island 30 miles off of Massachusetts, and her import of Moby Dick's fictional protagonist Captain Ahab and his ship The Peacquod. The Peacquod. The Pe Pee Quad. How did I not know that it was called the Pee Quad? It's a great name, isn't it? The Pee Quad. It's not a great name at all. What is that?

What's the Pee Quad? Pee Quad. I'm sure it's got some. Is it four P's? It might be some sort of Latin translation, I imagine. I'm sure it's got deep symbolic meaning. I whilst he was there in Nand Tuckett, Melville had made sure to meet a man named George Pollard Jr. Captain George Pollard Jr. He later wrote, I love a man in uniform.

He refused to take it off at all times. They got awkward when you went to war and you kept falling for the enemy. Oh man, they were so dreamy. I'm Elville later wrote that the two quote exchange some words. What's that mean? Which hardly sounds exciting, but Melville was clearly impressed by the 60 year old man he met. To the islanders, he was a nobody Melville wrote to me. He was everything.

Well, he said the most impressive man, though wholly un. Well, he said, the most impressive man, though wholly unassuming, even humble that I ever encountered." End quote. His muse had not disappointed him for it was Captain George Pollard, Jr. who was at the center of the harrowing story that was recounted by Owen Chase,

the story that inspired Moby Dick. And this is that story. Oh, so this is the story that inspired Moby Dick. And this is that story. Oh, so this is the story that inspired Moby Dick. Yes, this is a real life tale, the how-roying tale that I said in red. A whale tale? This is a whale of a tale. You can bet your tale.

So that was just a bit of preamble to set the scene. Dave, that preamble was captivating. It was fun. Thank you. It was interesting. I give it a five out of five. Thank you. Matt, feedback. I do.

Yeah, I'd say fantastic. Couldn't eat another bite. Thank you. And out of five. Yeah, certainly would. Wow. Strong words. Well, George Pollard Jr., the captain I just spoke of,

was born in N Tucket in 1791. So he was a man from N Tucket. He was. I was wondering who would be the first to say it, and Matt gets the gold star, just where the hell were you? Oh, it's... Wait, and we both bid our tongue for quite a while. You mentioned it three or four times now.

Every time I thought thought here we go. I was the people at home ago and just say it, get it out of the way. I was confident it was a made up place. Yeah, I thought she was doing it. Did not know it was an island. Same as Albert Kirkki. That's another made up one, right? Albert Kirkki. Of course.

Bugs Bunny was always, ah, should have turned left at Albert Kirkki. That's where the Springfield isotopes were going to move to on the Simpsons. Right. To become the Albert Kirkki isotopes. Neil Patrick Harris is from albuquerque. He went to the same high school as friends of mine and I have yet to message them and ask if they knew him. I mean, that is fun. How did you discover that and not mention it? Because I, for some reason, got stuck in a YouTube vortex last night and I was watching a video of him and he was talking about what high school he went to and I was like that rings a bell

because it's an interesting name of which I've forgotten and it's in albacurky. Right, but is he an older generation or your friends older than you are? My friends are older than I am and they're probably two years younger than him. So I think they could have known him. Wow. And he was also very famous at the time for Dugi Houser MD. Yeah. So pretty sick, huh?

That's super sick. Thank you. That was worth me interrupting the show for you. Right. So Nantucket 1791, that's where we are. During this time. Sorry, David. Good to you. Thank you.

1791. Did you head out of your bar? That was a terrible year. Oh. 1792. Oh, wow, Magnifique. Coming back. Fantastic. 91, real piece of shit. Oh, sorry.

During this time, the islands' principal industry was hunting sperm whales to hear. Yeah. Also, I was wondering who was going to get that gold, sir. And there it is. Two, a half. Half-wale. They were hunted to harvest the oil contained in their blubber and the spermacety or sperm oil contained

in an organ found in their heads. The spermacety, which is a white liquid, was originally mistook for the whale's semen and that's why they're called spermwiles. It's in their heads. Fun fact, so a large cavity in their head and it's full of hundreds of litres of it. So that's why they had the whilst.

Hundreds of litres. Yeah, sperm whale, that's a funny name. I would have called them, Magism blah blah. Gisem water. A fun fact. So sperm whales have the largest brains of any animal on earth. Really?

Yeah. But they thought they carried their come in their head. No, I think they probably just split it open. Sorry, mum and dad. I think they just probably just split it open. We're like, oh, what's that? Well, liquid. That must be it's, I guess it's, you know, it's sperm and then lay later discovered that it was useful oil. At this time, the oil within the sperm wells was sought after for use in oil lamps, lubricants, candle soap, cosmetics, machine oil, paint, putty, pencils, crayons, and many, many more things.

It was highly sought after and extremely valuable. So basically at the time, if you had an oil lamp, which is how most people lit their homes, you burnt oil oil. Wow. So it was really, really common product. Spurm whales also produce amber grease or amber gris, which at the time was also highly sought after by the perfume industry.

This is produced in the digestive system and is usually passed as fecal matter. So people are spraying whale shit all over themselves. What? They do beautiful quafes. That's beautiful, beautiful quafes. Anyway, whaling is a big deal. Well, I don't understand what a quafes do.

That's wrong end. No. You're right. All right. All right. You are not right. Anyway, whaling is a big deal at the time as well. I'm trying to say, and then Tucker is the whaling capital

of America during the Sierra. Despite only 8,000 people living there, it was one of the wealthiest communities in the country, all because of the whale oil. Holy shit! The whale in community, and it's 70 ships, 70 whaling ships, were run by rich whale tycoons of sorts, who at the time were also deeply religious quakers, it's a bigger quaker community, and I think it's three or four families run all 70 ships so they're extremely wealthy holy shit ship Damn it. Oh, that's good. I'll let it in post

The Quakers were anti-violence to humans. That's one of their beliefs, but they had no problem with fucking up the whales Melville would describe them as quote Quakers with a vengeance Which I think is a great film title. Yeah. Someone make that. I think it should be the sequel. Quakers with Evengeance. Quakers with Evengeance.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, now we're onto something. That would be the squeak wool. Now you're cooking with whale oil. That's where you were going with that one? I don't know. I reckon. Alright.

How are you going to have that one? George Pollard Jr. our future captain was himself, the son of a ship's captain. George Pollard Sr. Oh, I assume I didn't read that anyway, but I assume. And he seemed destined to spend his life on the seas. He started serving on a ship called the Essex in his teens and rose to the ranks from second mate to first mate and finally in 1819 at the age of 28,

he was named as Captain of that whaling ship. Wow, Captain. At our age, yes. Captain. Yeah, I'm Captain of this pod. This peak quad. We're co-captains to be fair, but Captain is still in my title. I'm Captain of my house where I live alone.

Yep. I'm in charge. So, Bet you feel like an idiot. And you're out. Someone's second in charge. So he's captain. He's made it. Baby, it's his dream.

Now we're the pilot at the helm. A crew were to sail the Pacific Ocean to hunt sperm whales, it's his dream. Now we're the Pollard at the helm, a crew were to sell the Pacific Ocean to hunt sperm whales, as they always did. They would all share in the profits of the journey, and if it was successful, Pollard share would be in the vicinity of $150,000 today. It's a bit of a payday, but he's the captain, so he's making the most.

The Essex was already an old vessel by this time. The wooden ship having spent two decades being smashed by unforgiving waves in the open ocean But it had had a great career was considered by many to be a lucky ship despite its age and obvious wear Never had any problems in the past It's a beauty. She's all good. She's good. I Love their optimism. I admire that. Don't you? Yeah, I do and I think it's gonna come true Yeah, yeah, I think it's definitely smart to go,

yeah, now I know this ship is leaking, but it's lucky. So that's fine. Don't worry about it. No, I'm not gonna fix it. It's lucky. Would you fix luck? Come on.

You would fix the luck right out of it. That hole is lucky. Yeah, that gaping hole, I think it's bigger out of it. That hole is lucky. Yeah, that gaping hole that gets bigger with every day. That's more luck. That's more luck. More, more water, more luck. Look at how lucky we're getting. We're lucky to have water in that hole.

But because of the previous century of killing whales in their local area, century, yes, they've been killing for a long time, whales started having to search further and wider and travel to more remote oceans. Because whales were like, well, I'm probably not going to more remote oceans. Because Whale's will like, well, I'm probably not gonna go over there. Yeah, now in Target, I don't think so. Darren went over there and he never came back. That could be some correlation.

How long, yeah, when do we start realizing that you can over fish? Why did it after this, I think? Yeah, well, many decades after this, because they can only multiply by 1% of their entire population per year Wow, so it takes a long time for them to come back right but at the time they were killing thousands every season Imagine how they would think of us, you know now we turn around and say oh no, we're protecting you

It's like okay, you did this yeah, well, well, well, you slaughtered us and now you're like oh no, we'll look after you Oh gee whiz thanks fuckos. Yeah. And now you're like, oh no, we'll look after you. Oh, gee, whiz, thanks, fuckos. Yeah. Leave us alone. That's what I'd be saying. Dracking the whales would think of us as soy boys. Oh, you protect the whales. Definitely.

They're like, oh yeah, you can talk. Yeah. Because I'm assuming they outlive us as well. So like, because they get really old, like tortoises. Oh, so I think they outlive us when excuse me, I'd live us when we ultimately nuke ourselves and of course live on and who's got the last last nail whale? We're nuke ourselves.

I mean, it's funny, but if you're listening to this at a time when we have nuke ourselves, probably poor taste for me to have laughed so hard. But I do, that reminds me of another great Simpson's reference when Lisa goes round to Nelson Tess having a crush on him. He's got a poster that says, nuke the whales and she says, nuke the whales? What does that mean? He goes, I don't know.

Got Nuke something. Failed point. Poor whales. So it was common for men to be at sea for at least two years at a time on these missions. They had no real means of refrigeration, so their supplies couldn't include any vegetables or much proper meat. They mostly existed on a diet of salted pork, heavily salted.

And hard tack, which is a type of extremely hard dried cracker made from flour and nicknamed quote, Mola breakers. It was so hard you couldn't bite into it. Instead, you had to soften it in water or in soup. Oh, like those teething bickies for babies. You know those ones? No, were they dog biscuits?

No, they're just like those really hard biscuits. There's stick. You've been around children. They're like a bread stick. And they're just, babies just suck on them while they're teething. Yeah, right, they're like, yeah, you're thinking about begets.

Yeah. Maybe begets. How does it go on bread sticks? Well, you would, you lack the, yeah, how you say, by capillary? Yes. Interesting.

Um, so they're eating this hard tech stuff, which lasts a long time, but I imagine it's terrible to eat. It's still apparently very popular in Alaska and with babies. And it's also a survival food like a in military packs, if you go in a middle of nowhere, and you've got to have food that lasts forever, like give you this crap because it doesn't go off. How got a bread stick, though? So good. Yum.

I think you do well in the military. I'm hungry. Especially with a bit of butter boy on them. Oh, yum. Put a bit of butter boy on there. Oh, I've got a little bit of dip. Yeah. How about a little bit of cheese?

A bit of hummus. A bit of hummus. I love hummus. Hey, too. A little bit of bread. Oh, yes. Hmm. I'm bit of breath. Oh yes.

I'm just hungry now. Me too. Dude, go on. The ship was about as long as the tennis court and quite cramped. But what size tennis court? Oh, table tennis. Yeah. Wee tennis.

Yeah. Wee table tennis. Much smaller. That was a Wee tennis court. A Scottish person was to describe it. Right. That is a small boat. Yeah, that's not a big boat. Yeah, and it's actually quite small in comparison to other wailing tips as well.

So it's like, well, it's being old. It's quite small. But it's also lucky. But it's lucky. Right. How many pay for it? 21, the crew. How many just have one less?

Where do they sleep? Yeah, well, I didn't even notice that one. So thanks for pointing it out. Now I'm going to insist about it. Where do they sleep? Yeah, well, I didn't even notice that one, so it makes a pointy and out, and now I'm gonna obsess about it. Well, I'm 21, that's a good number. They would spend their entire journey on the ship, obviously. Sleeping below the deck. The only time they would get off

is when they hit the water in four small whaling boats in which they would pursue the whales. So they're in dingy's going after whales? Yes, it's an extremely dangerous job. That's such a dumb job. That's such a dumb job. It's a really dangerous job. I'm not doing it. Yeah. I refuse.

Well, you can't make me Dave. Okay. You're not wailing. I also, I'm not gonna take up your offer, Dave. Thank you, Dave, but you've been... Thanks for having me. Well, offer with drawn. Oh. No, no, no, we...

I think you're just doing that thing where you're trying to like fire us before we've resigned. Yeah, we quit I think you're just doing that thing we're trying like fire us before we've Resigned but no, we're doing on our terms, mate. Yeah, wait. If you fire us, I think we get unemployment benefits. Yeah, say it again. I'm going to have to offer you the job. I'm pretty sure that's a bit from the office. I was the offloadroader, or was the first episode of the Nanny. Oh, right. Well, in the office, people come from a different branch

in Michael Scott, Steve Kruel's character, fires a guy when he won after he says he quits, and then he gets a call from head office saying, well, now we have to pay him all these benefits because you fired him. He was just gonna leave, and that would mean it. But because he's so arrogant,

he can't have someone leave because that's it. You're fired. But on the Nanny, something similar. I'm pretty sure that the nanny herself maybe said a quit and then she went back and said, no, you fight me. That way I can get unemployment benefits. Pretty sure that's right.

That was some some 90s sitcom pre meeting Maxwell, Sheffield obviously. Of course. Because there's no HR department for her when she's when she's well, at that point, she hadn't got to the Sheffields door when the father saw more She had style she had flair she was there that's how she became the nanny What I thought

So this is me below of the 21 sailors It was a mixture of white and black men I'm sorry to report that the black sailors were given the smallest of the already cramped cabins. So they were sort of treated as second class citizens on the ship. You're all doing the same job. Yes, very much the case.

So it's part of history. So there's 21 on board, but we're going to focus mostly on five of the crew just to make it easier for you to remember who I'm talking about. No, I can remember 21 names. All right, here we go. John, Dave, Ben, Greg, Simon. No, that's you saying 21 names.

Oh, I can remember them though. Oh, I go back through. John, Greg, Dave, Ben, Simon. That was actually right. Fuck you, Matt. Well, that was five, which you need to remember. Great, you've proved you can, here we go. So on board, we got George Polar Jr.

has already discussed the captain. He was one of the youngest men to ever captain a whaling ship. Good for him. What an honor. Did he get a hat? Hell yeah. Youngest ever captain hat? Yeah, alabage.

Owen Chase, the 22 year old first mate. That is a fantastic name. Owen Chase. Owen Chase. He was very ambitious and not afraid to question his commander's decisions. Ooh. Oh and Chase. Oh and Chase, he was very ambitious and not afraid to question his commander's decisions. So second charge. That's sexy.

Then we have Thomas Nicherson. Nicherson. Nicherson, the 14 year old cabin boy. Oh, Thomas. A journey like this was seen as a journey to manhood for people on the island of Nantucket. Because most of them grew up to be whalers. You went on board a cabin boy,

but you came out about to say it. A cabin man. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. So do you reckon with it, other professions you could do other than whaling? What if you wanted to be a whale? What, you could live on the island

that you could be a whale man. Mama, Papa, I don't want to be a whale. What do you mean you don't want to? What's wrong with me? I've got a minute. Do you mean you don't want to be Bob Marley's backing band? They won't call the whales. I want to be a whale. You make some stuff a little whale costume, but he's right around their backyard and they're like looking out at him out the kitchen window like, where did we go wrong? But then eventually, he's the best god damn wild I've ever seen, and they're like,

what you should know for a dude, a juice son. And then they salute as he swims off into the sunset. At the wild. And burns the death. But he was happy. All right, we've got two more characters here. We've got Owen Coffin. Two Owens. Whenever we've had a list of people...

Owen Coffin, yeah, okay. Owen Coffin, is that the name? Yeah, he was another teenager. He was a friend of Nickerson, as well as being Captain Pollard's first cousin. Pollard's first cousin Pollard his em Pollard promised Coffin's mother that he would look out for the boy on the ship's journey Oh, that's bad. Oh man. Yeah, Dave's fucking his sizzling something bad's gonna happen to Coffin I would not be bringing any coffins onto my ship. I think it just said what are you gonna do with the body then if somebody does It's a little bit in there. Yeah, you bury me see let's see. We're not buried. I just dumped Flood him

I don't have to see never mind. Usually they saw him up into a like a canvas thing and then fill it with the rocks and I was gonna ask if they weigh him down And then they said they drop him off like a they're gonna swim with the fishes. No You want to swim with the fishes off a guard, say? Don, can you get the fucking catchphrase, right? It's not as scary with swimming with the fishes. Sleeping. No, I'm gonna give him, I got some scuba gear.

Yeah, gonna take him on a guided tour, he's gonna love it. Hey, all right. Hey, let's go swimming. I just got my scuba license, you said I could do this. Let's go swim with the fishes. Oh, you'll be wearing a pair of concrete gloves in no time. Gloves for fuck's sake, it's birds, you dumb shit. I wanted to teach you about a box, you know?

But a big, but a boom, eh? You've burned your punch with a, you're strong enough to punch with a concrete glove to take out the concrete and you'll pop, pop, pop. Knock him down. Is that William Shatner? Yeah, playing Rocky. Wow, there's something on Rocky's.

I'm going to predict Matt. Yes. Something's gonna happen to Owen Coffin. That's based on me reading Dave Warnick. And finally, the fifth person I'll tell you about is second mate Matthew Joy, third in command. Matthew Joy, bringing a lot of joy to the ship. And enjoy.

Which one of us is your first mate? Hmm. Think wisely. Okay, I'll think wisely and I'll keep it to myself. Good, good one. So just a recap, we've got Captain George Pollard. Owen Chase, first mate. Owen Chase, he had a career in Hollywood soon after.

I know Hollywood wasn't around for an hour hundred and twenty years or something, but still Or I can even straight to Hollywood. Oh my god. Thomas Nickerson cabin boy Owen Coffin the guy that Captain Pollard promised you'd look after his relative and then finally Matthew Joy Matthew Joy a little sunshine boy. Great names in there Matthew Joy. Matthew Joy, a little sunshine boy. Some great names in there. All right, so they're the far we're going to talk about for the most part. Great, fuck off the rest of them. The Essex and their crew departed and then took it on August 12, 1819.

Mmm, a good year. They were expecting a two and a half year journey that would take them down the east coast of South America through the treacherous Cape Horn below South America and then into the Pacific Ocean on the other side. So hang on, when they're wailing, what do they do with the whale? I'm afraid to say that they kill the whale. No, I know that. But I mean, like, you don't, they don't bring the whale on board with them and collect whales as they go. No, basically, it's really brutal. But they see the whale, they jump in their four whaling boats and go after the whale because they can sort of get up really, really close.

And then one of them throws a harpoon into the whale, hoping that it will get nice and deep. And then they hang onto the rope that's attached to the harpoon and then the whale keeps swimming until it gets too tired and then it slows down and then they just stab it a lot and it dies. And then they roll it back to the boat which takes hours because it weighs several tons. Yeah. Takes hours and then they get it close to the boat and they chop off the bits that they want in the water.

So they cut off the blobber and then they cut off the head. They bring the head onto the deck and then they drain the liquid, the oil from within its head into barrels that they store below. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. And then they take the, you know, they try and take it like a thousand barrels back or whatever. Wow, it's messed up. It's really a horrible.

Yeah. And the most efficient working method either. It isn't, keep on it interesting that, like certainly in the West anyway, we'd seem to be very anti-wailing. It feels like maybe more than any other animals, this is the one that people are very against. We're at very, as a general people, seem to be anti-wailing.

Stop the whalers. But not like, it's pretty common everyone else, majority of people would eat meat and, you know, such things every day. Why do you reckon it is, is it because they're just so much bigger? And I was thinking because like they are quite in danger now because of human behavior. Right. I think it definitely had a big resurgence as well after free willy. But people like, no, they're cute. Yeah, free willy. I like how people kill dogs before airbud, you know?

Right. You know, then they're like, holy shit, they can play B-Ball? Dogs are cute. And also, but it shows how silly people are, because all cause aren't even whales. Yeah. They're killer whales, that's right. You can't trust them.

Right, so they're off on a two and a half year journey and disaster struck. How soon? On day four. Oh dear. It's going to be like nearly a thousand day journey on day four. They were caught in a storm and powered or to them to travel across the storm to get away from it. But miscalculated the strength of the wind and they ended up being blown completely

over. Oh no. The ship now on its side in the water, it looked pretty bad. And the way that's what's coming. But luckily you are actually predicting my next words here because another freak gust of wind caught the sails and blew them back upright. No. And they were able to continue sailing. What? That's a lucky ship. The lucky ship. Yeah, and we were making jokes. I wasn't. Everything I said was sincere.

Me too. This whole time. The ship was damaged and one of the smaller whaling boats was lost. Oh, the dinghy. Captain George Pollard ordered the ship to turn around and return to an and tuck it for repairs and to restock. But our ambitious first mate Owen Chase challenged the captain's decision. You challenge your captain? I picture him with the leather jacket on and wind swept hair and maybe Rayban aviators. Yep. James Dean,.E. is. J.A.M. Stain, picturing J.A.M. And I'm picturing the captain to be a bit of a nerd, so the win J.A.M. Stain's up to him.

He's like, oh, yeah, okay. Jerry Lewis in nerd mode. Is that what you're saying? Yes. Or something more, I've gone for two very old references. No, you've nailed it. You've nailed it. Well, this is an old story.

Yeah, I think that's when my head's out. In this story, that'll be a fresh reference. Yeah, no, I'm going for old references, but I don't have an old story. Yeah, I think that's when my head's out. In this story, that'll be a fresh reference. Yeah, no, I'm going for old references, but I don't have any old enough. Yeah. Well, our mate, James Dean Owen Chase, challenged the captain. He argued that if they returned now,

the crew would desert the ship. Many had never properly been at sea before, and now they'd just seen how dangerous it could be this early on, with a prospect of not returning home for two and a half years, I reckon I too might get out while I can. I wouldn't have gone in the first place. You made that very clear.

They'd be like, do you want to come? No, absolutely not. Please leave me alone. That's what I was saying. Get out of my bedroom. Use sailing bastards. I hold all my business meetings in my bedroom. Sonya Pajamas tucked up in bed. Yeah, I'm cozy. They're at your bed, so I'm pleased we want you to sail with us. So no, tuck me in. Well, tuck you in, but please, we sail at noon tomorrow. Nice late start as you requested.

Perhaps if you read me a story, I will think about it. Okay, well, here we go. and the little... Through the voices! On the little elephant said yes I will... Different voices for different characters! Yes I'm the little elephant now and I'm happy to boy here. You're happy to boy here. You're happy to boy here? Thank you. Please, now will you sail with us a noon? No. But thank you for the story. Good night. So she's getting free stories every month.

Mama's no fool. This is the last time she gets me. So Owen Chase is being like, no, we can't go back. Captain Pollard backed down and they continued on. This is just many times where the first mate and others would question the captain's decisions and many times where he would just back down.

This led his authority to be questioned and the ambitious first mate to only grow stronger with confidence Oh dear. So it's not a great combination. You want me to be respected and His decisions listen to And they've got a few too many cooks happening. Oh, they got cooks as well. Yeah, yeah, that is Someone's gonna prepare the hard biscuits That is as bad as he does like he doesn't test it throws them on the ground if they break their faulty.

Not hard enough. He throws them to the sea. Back in the kitchen. I'm gonna have a time out for a minute. No, have a time in. They killed a few whales on the way, spotting their first one off the coast of Brazil. But they didn't get much oil and had to press on to find more whales and more oil.

After five weeks they made it around Cape Horn under South America, quite a dangerous stretch of ocean. It must be so much blood on their boat, you know, because they're bringing the whale head on. Blood and blubber. They found the waters off the coast of the other side of South America had been fished You know, because there's bringing the whale head on and blah blah. Now they found the waters off the coast of the other side of South America had been fished out and there weren't many whales left to be hunted They stopped off an Ecuador where one of the crew Henry DeWitt

deserted, so now they were down to 20 men Jess, you love that. So he left. Yeah, I'm happy for that. And Henry DeWitt sounds like a real dumb shit, so happy to lose him. Henry DeWitt is a real dumb shit. That's where that old man is. That's where they were chanting as he left. That's where that old children's nursery rhymes came from. Get off our boat. Checking that's why he left, he was just being there. Yeah, he's being bullied.

Being mocked. Yeah. Oh, DeWitt had no idea just how lucky he was. Oh, dear. So now they're down to 20. They're actually, obviously a man down and everyone's got their own jobs, but they continue on with 20. They had heard from other whilers about a breeding ground of sperm whiles in the middle

of the Pacific and hoped that this was the place that they could find the whiles to fill their oil barrels. So they sailed deep into the Pacific far from any shore and any islands. That sounds smart. Was this like, had science come far enough that they knew that whales weren't a finite, an infinite resource? Or were they thinking, you know, they say they're so big, ocean's so big, they'd be full of whales, they'd be whales forever.

Oh, I can't say. I wonder when we realized that. No Dave, tell us what they thought back then. You know what, I think we realized that when we started to not you need the whale oil anymore. Right. And when people couldn't become like millionaire and billionaire's off of it, sadly. Yeah, right.

Humans are pretty damn, aren't we? We're real smart, too. True. I mean, they're dichotomy. And we can also be seriously terrible. But we? We're all smart too. True. We want to do a car to me. And we can also be seriously terrible, but we can be so great. You know? God. You know, you flip a coin. Life, all life, all life, all life. Do, do, do, do. On the, like Ricky Gervais sang in the office, I think. On the way to the breeding ground to restock and stretch their legs they stopped off at the Galapagos Islands. The Galapagos Islands are famous for their wildlife and their number

of species that have found there and there alone. Charles Darwin would visit a couple of decades after this and complete many of his groundbreaking studies on evolution. So there you go. First the crew stopped off at Hood Island to fix a leak in the Essex. And whilst they're the men collected 300 Galapagos tortoises, they're the giant slow-moving tortoises. They collected 300. They got to catch them all. They're the ones that live, you know, they live like 150 years I think.

They were treasured by sailors as they lived a long time without food or water and could be eaten as fresh meat throughout the journey. But where are you going to store them? You've only got a tennis court. They put many in the hold below. They put many in the hold below, although some were able to roam around the deck. I'm not sure. You just got a little pet turtle.

There's just these tortoises. Tortises. Walking around. Very, very slowly. I like them. I want one of my favorite animals. They're great as well, but that feels weird to me. They're really weird, Dixie. But it makes sense, didn't they? Really?

Tell me more. Save it for keen for pain episode. Yeah, you're right. I'm just going to talk about different animals, weird, willy, use, yeah. All right, duck this is a, I guess a good Patreon, Jonas. This kind of goes in and then like expands.

Like, on the top, yeah. Like, sell these normal gaps. Yes. Yes, would you like to tell me what's weird about that? Oh no. Yeah, I've got a giant door stick. I never saw no giant door. It's gonna live 150 years. You did. Adalat, live us all. It's going to live 150 years.

You did it. It'll let us all. It's just me and the whales. My dick and the whales. We've nuked everything else. That is Dicks swimming the seven seas. Swim on the fishes. Hey, your dick's going to swim on the fishes.

Oh no. I got a little, I got a little Wet suit for it. It's real cute Gonna put some little goggles on there Can I you need a little sunscreen on that? Here's a little oxygen tank. I had a custom made. I'm very good at my job The customer is always right. Oh my God, his dick is filling the space. In this case, it's the open seas. It's mother and a soul.

Ah, Dave's dick. And that's the ad for Seles. Yeah, Seles, no more seas. Take care of the seas for you. Give me one dick. So they got 300 of these tortoises, which is just insane. Yeah. Then they moved on to Charles Island, also in the Galapagos. Now renamed Florian Island.

Oh, remember that name for another report. Oh. Florian Island. I'm going to forget that. But then I'll know next time that it's something to do with that, but I won't remember it. So that'll be fun. Hey, and then listeners will be like, Jess said she wouldn't remember this and she doesn't. Go away.

God, it's gonna be so much fun. One out. Once on Florianne Island, the crew collected another 60, 100 pound Galapagos tortoises. Wait, what? How many tortoises are there on this island? 360 they've got now. And as a prank, you know what you want? You love a good prank.

You guys love a good prank, right? Yeah. As a prank, one of the crews set a fire on the island. That's a little bit of that's fun. And being the dry season, the flames quickly spread into a raging inferno. That's really bad. That's fun. And being the dry season, the flames quickly spread into a raging inferno. That's a fun prank. Captain Pollard's men barely escaped back to the ship, having to run through flames to escape. And a day after they set sail, they could still see smoke from the burning island on the horizon. I think I saw that episode of part. Yo, you've been

bucked. I mean, who doesn't love a good prank? That was fun. I love it when people just destruct in Ireland. This island will destruct. The Smithsonian rights, quote, many years later, Charles Island was still a blackened wasteland. And the fire was believed to have caused the extinction of both the Floreana tortoise

and the Floreana mockingbird. End quote. Because in the Galapagos, it's so in the middle of both the Floreana tortoise and the Floreana mockingbird." Because in the Galapagos, it's so in the middle of nowhere, there's all these animals that over time have evolved to be these animals. You can't find anywhere else, so they've got just that island had its own type of tortoise. And now... Later's bird at all. What, do we have the name of the Firesada?

In a prank. Never identified. Captain Pollard himself was furious and wanted to punish the person but didn't find out who it was. That water, weed. That's bad. Hey, it's a prank. Oh, no, forgot. Sorry. That is fun. That is fun. All right, you can speed it up. It's extinction. Puncher. Florianna Tottis. Yeah, you got punked got punk bitch boom. There's a camera there. There's a camera there. What's a camera? What's a camera? I don't think there's anything more heartbreaking than an extinction It's I know your stupid prank just killed an entire two entire species and many more animals

They continued on the fire raging behind them. They'd been on the seas for 15 months when they finally reached the offshore ground where mating, female sperm whales could be found. This is the place they wanted to go that the people in Ecuador told them be a good place to find lots and lots of these whales. They were now more than 1500 nautical miles

or 2,800 kilometers from the Galapagos and those islands themselves are very remote. So they're basically in the middle of fucking nowhere. It was at this point that some of the crew started to get a bit restless. Here there were 9,000 miles from home, with one task to collect whale oil. Every day they went hunting and yet time and time again, they came up empty handed. And remember, they're only profiting if they get the whale oil. It's not really a wage-based thing.

You've got to get the oil. First you get the oil, then you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women. Right. Add the system that works. Hey, you want me to question him. When they went out, the crew divided into three groups of six, each of which would man one of the three usable whale boats whenever whales were sighted. The remaining two men would stay aboard and manage the Essex. The two remaining men would stay aboard and wink tortoises. Who's on tortoise wanking, Judy? I sir.

360, alright, get the rubber gloves. How would you keep track of the ones you had wanked? Well, you'd say it because they got the huge space-filling digs out Why would they want to do that? They've lost all their space again. Yeah, don't do that stop wanking them That's what I keep telling them. Yeah, know, you know, one happens on the seas. Just stays on the seas. So on November 16, the man went out in three small 25-foot whaling boats as usual. First mate Owen Chase directed his boat to a clear patch where he thought a whale might surface.

And it did. Unfortunately, it did so directly beneath the boat and through the man into the air and the man had to return to the mainship clinging to a wrecked boat. It was a bit of a bad omen. Yeah, wail. One for the wail. That's one for the, so that's one of three boats. So there's one captain by captain Polard, one by first mate chase and the third one is a second mate Matthew Joy. So they're all in charge of five men each and they go out every day. And Owen Chase just had his boat fucked up. Four days passed, some time was dedicated to repairing the broken whaling boat. When in the distance, one of the ship's lookouts saw the spout of whales.

The weather was calm, it was a good day for hunting, so they sent the whale boats out, hoping to finally get a bunch of this oil. Chase again got close to a whale, and as he was about to throw his heart food in the whale panicked and hit the side of the small boat with its tail, putting another small hole in it. I had to limp the damage vessel back to the Essex for repairs. So it's been smashed twice now. That's two for whales.

Um, panicked in whales, huh? I'm bad at getting. The other two whaling boats, Captain Bipolar and Joy, were still out in the water some way away and chase, feeling like he was missing out again, furiously worked to fix his boats who he'd get straight back out there, he gets more wails. It was at this point that our young cabin boy, Thomas Nicholson, now 15 years old, is that a birthday? He spotted something in the water not far away from the ship. at a birthday. He spotted something in the water not far away from the ship. It was a huge male sperm whale, an estimated 85 feet or 26 meters long, which was almost as long as the Essex itself. So basically, it's the length of a tennis court. It was the largest whale that

any of them had ever seen. A typical sperm whale is usually no bigger than 65 feet or 20 meters. Okay. So it's massive. If the estimate of its size is accurate, it's likely that the whale could have weighed 80 tons. Whoa. They could see the whale's head and it was covered in battle scars, probably from eating giant squid,

which is what they often eat, and ramming other male sperm whales. Nice. It's a bit of a bad boy. Love that. Now he's gonna live the jacket on, whales. Nice. He's a bit of a bad boy. Love that. Now he's got to live the jacket on man. Yeah. This whale is wearing a very big leather jacket. I was just getting a picture for myself because I wasn't exactly sure what they look like, which ones they wear but yeah they're beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful whales. I have the real square heads. A very big head, yeah. So he's got that massive head, but covered in scars, battle scars.

This way. I put in scars, beauty treatment scars. I love the like, the pause is like, what kind of scars are they gonna be? Some sort of emotional scars. You can see his breath augmentation scars that we're healing up nicely. His confidence had never been stronger. Confidence that at all time high. I like all the other whales that usually flee from the birds. This whale scene be floating on the surface

of the water, letting out the occasional puff through its blowhole. It was almost like it was watching them. I like it just imagine talking to the cigar, just calmly watching somewhere, as if they're about to do something. After two more puffs of your cigar, the whale suddenly dived and then surfaced about 30 meters on 90 feet from the Essex. At first the crew were a bit confused but not worried. As a whale had never ever attacked a ship before. Why would this be any different? Oh my god, they hadn't seen jaws. Did a whale attack a ship in jaws?

In a way. Spoiler? I haven't seen it. I haven't seen jaws. I don't think so. It's heaps and heaps of whales in it. I've seen plenty of parodies. I haven't seen jaws. I don't think so. It's heaps and heaps of wiles in it. I've seen plenty of parodies. I know that's a shock.

You're going to need a bigger boat. Yeah, they need a bigger boat. A shark eats a beach. I've seen, you know, I guess I get a beach. Yeah, a shark ate a beach. I get a gist of it. Some sort of tornado. Yeah.

Ends thing. It's beautiful. It's masterpiece. So looking at the whale, it's just surface 30 meters away and they're wondering, what's this guy doing? But then the whale picked up speed and it became clear that it was coming directly for the port side of the ship. Chase realized what was about to happen and shout it to Nickerson, put the helm hard up

to try and move out of the way. Several crew members cried out warnings. Quote scarcely had the sound of the voices reach my ears, Nickerson recalled, when it was followed by a tremendous crash, end quote. The force of the whale smashing into the ship was so much that every man lost his footing and glabbing his tortoises flew across the day. No, they can fly.

She's insane. What are you doing there? Go home, fly home. Fly home. Sorry, your home has been burned. Fly home. The men got up and were shocked and also amazed. Had that really just happened?

There were also quite horny. Well, there's big tortoise. They've been on the ship for 15 months. Hmm. Again, never before in the history of the Nantucket Whale fishery had a sperm whale ever deliberately attacked a ship. They were like, what the fuck?

The sperm whale swam under the ship and did more damage to the underneath of the craft and chase grabbed his lance, which is not the harpoon but the thing that you use when the whale's tired. That's what you kill it with, it's like the final blow. He stated his arm, it was about to stab the creature whilst it was close. When he noticed that it was close to the ship's rudder and he speculated that if the whale freaked out, it's tail because of its size could smash their rudder and then there'd be in the middle of the ocean without any way of steering. That's smart. Yeah, I was quite a calculated kind of move there. It was probably a decision he would live to regret. Oh, okay.

It was probably a decision he would live to regret. Oh, okay. Oh. The whale swam about half a kilometer away, and in the water started thrashing about and snapping its jaws wildly. What? It was pissed off. As if distracted, Chase Later wrote,

with rage and fury. Chase Later wrote, Bob. Yeah, no. I've seen you that before when Nicholson was... Nicholson was... Recalling something. So now the whale was a while away. The crew began to set up pumps to pump out any water that may have rushed in after the hit. So they were distracted when Chase recalls hearing a man shout, here he is. He's making for us again.

This is awesome. The men looked out and saw the whale again coming for the ship. This time traveling at twice the speed of its first attack. Yeah, it got a run up. Yeah, it honestly went out. Yeah. And got a much bigger run up this time. Chase ordered a change of course, but it was too late to get out of the way. The noise was incredible as the whale hit just below the anchor, water flying everywhere. Now water can fly. Just toy. This story is wild.

Well, it is wild because the whale swam away and was never singing again. So I just hit the boat a couple of times. Twice. Second time. Like a knockout. Most weight loss programs are short term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long term solution. And that's what makes NUME different.

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They just left. The ship quickly turned on its side. The whole incident from the whale first appearing to the ship capsizing took less than 10 minutes. Whoa. What a whale. They can hardly believe what's this happened. The whales never attacked the ship before and now it's sunk their ship in 10 minutes and

now they're lying in their small whaling boat going, what the fuck? We're going down quick. Get the horny turtles into a tortoises into the little boats, that's all that to do. Well, there's have to ride the turtles to safety. Unfortunately, because they're tortoises, they're not great at swimming. Oh, they're more land things. Yeah, because they got like feet other than flippers. This is for me.

Maybe I'd not know that. Oh, they're different from turtle and tortoise. I did not know that a tortoise is not a great swimmer. I didn't know that either. I shouldn't, what do they walk on the bottom of the ocean? Yeah, they don't. They're like water, they don't hate the water, right? You're still okay in water, aren't they? Well, they, they're just land. Do those tortoises drown? I can't believe it tortoise drowned.

Sorry to say, they probably drown. They can't swim. I didn't know that either. These ones because of their size, they find it harder to float. And they're also from there they're so far from land now. Yeah I mean even if they could turn their name to make it home. Anyway this is probably for me the craziest visual is for the other guys because remember that the other two welding boats kept and by Pollard and Joy are still out hunting whales. They have no idea what's just happened back at the main boat, the Essex. That far away. They're two miles away. So they can't. They have to see it.

Distracted by a whale, you know, they've got the harpoon in whatever, like chasing it down. When one of the crew members glanced over his shoulder and saw the Essex on his side, look, look, he said, what ails the ship? She is upsetting, in quote. But by the time all the men turned around, they couldn't see a thing, for the ship had disappeared over the horizon. The two boats let go of the whales they were pursuing immediately and started rowing back to the ship, but they've got no idea what just happened. By the time they got back there, it was on its side and sinking fast. The men all regrouped and everyone

was in complete shock. Chase wrote, not a word was spoken for several minutes by any of us. All appeared to be bound in a spell of stupid consternation. Captain Pollard dropped into a seated position and just stared, bewildered at what he was looking at. Finally, he asked, my God, Mr. Chase, what is the matter? Chase replied to the captain, we have been

stoved by a whale. What have been stoved by a whale? Which is something, I wouldn't have even considered that this is a possibility. Stuart William Bond had salvaged two compasses, two copies of Bodich's new American practical navigator and two quadrants that they could all use to plot a course. Basically, there's navigation equipment. They calculated their position and realized that they were about as far away from land, give or take a couple hundred miles as it is possible to be on planet Earth.

Right. They're in the exact spot you don't want to be. They're literally in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, in the middle of the ocean. It's starting to feel a bit unlucky. Oh, it's crazy. Is that book they needed? Does that make me worried that they need a book

that sounds like navigating for dummies? Yeah, that's a bodicious, new American practical navigate. I know, it doesn't, it doesn't look it's explaining to them. So they're watching our YouTube clip, how to navigate quick. Oh, shit. That's insane.

So there's now 20 men split across three small boats. They calculated that the closest land was the Marquisis Islands and the Society Islands. And Captain Pollard's plan was to set for those. They're the closest, we'll go for those. But again, Chase Owen, first mate, challenged his commander and he and a few of the other crew told him that the people on those islands he'd heard were cannibals.

And if they wanted to survive, they should instead head south. I'm sorry, Chase Owen, did you just get our boat rammed by a whale? I'm not you, you fucking idiot. How about you just pipe down, lose some of that confidence, you cock your little fuck. You could have stabbed it while you had the fucking chance, mate. And the lance. But no, please, pipe in. Let me know what you think we should do. Please keep, keep piping.

Yeah, I'll leave you in charge of the boat for five minutes. I can't, I can't sink it. Oh, why else hit it for the first time in human history? It's like, what the fuck? It's like leaving teenagers at home alone, you know? You come home with the house, it's burnt down. And you say, let's call the fire, we'll go. And they say, no, no, no, no, no, let's call the ambulance. Yeah. And you're like, oh, okay, I'm going teenager at home alone, you know? You come home and the house has been down and you say, let's call the fireball guy and they say, no, no, no, no, no, let's call the ambulance.

Yeah, and you're like, oh, okay, I'm gonna keep listening to you, you idiot. You keep dumb shit. Unbelievable, this is why David and I should never be parents together. So Chase Owens like, no. They believe very good parents. Very good parents.

Very good parents. Chase Owens like, no, no, no, they're cannibals. We're not gonna go there to the close islands. Let's go south. Instead, he argued that they should head for Peru or Chile, even though much of the course, which measured more than double the distance, 4,000 miles or 7,400 kilometers, and it would be both against the wind and in strong currents. He said, let's do that. Let's travel 7,400 kilometers. That was Chase. Yeah, in these small boats against the wind. Run against the wind, Bob Seagustal. He sounds like an idiot.

Well, but freaked out by the thought of cannibalism, and as the Smithsonian puts it, quote, in one of the most ironic decisions in maritime history, Pollard agreed to the other men's plan. He said, all right, we won't go to the Cannibal Island or go to the further island. He said that it was one of the most. So this mis-donian later described this decision as one of the most ironic decisions in maritime history. Oh, they're about to get Cannibal. You will see. In reality, the society islands in Tahiti, the ones that they said had

candles on it, had been quote, missionized for about 20 years by this point. And if they'd gone there, they would have been totally safe. Oh my God. But they don't want to. Owens a fuckhead, which I went. Oh, and chase chase. Owen Chase is a fuck stick. He's a Hollywood bad boy, Jess. No, he's just a bad boy. He's naughty. He should go to his room. Yeah, it's just fun to have a strong opinion on something you couldn't really know. He said fire to it. He said fire to the island. He's the asshole. Yeah, he does

feel like the asshole. Yeah, it's sort of been settled for two decades by this point. So instead they went the opposite. And now they're going for the long shot. It's like, let's go for land. Let's just go for land first. Figure it out from there. Yeah, let's surely that makes sense to go for your best chance at like going, or let's roll the dice and see if we get to this place that may be so far.

Yeah. Or go to this place where a good chance of getting to, the captain said, and you go, no, let's listen to James Dean. Go, dies, yeah. I want to say 27. 27 club. He's pretty young. So I mean, yeah, it's, so I mean, you know, James Dean would have said, let's go to the

furtheraway Cannibal Island, I reckon. But he's go to the further away cannibal island or I can But jeez even to set it was smoldering He's not it he didn't even make it the 27th club just looking at 24 24 Don't you only made like three movies? So popular how do you make such an eye-cut? Well, you'll just look at him. Oh, I mean geez. I wouldn't like that Just being bloody ogled. Well, it was more than that. He's appreciating me for my bride. He had a presence. I don't know anything about him, but yeah, he's an interesting, he's an icon from such a small amount of time. Then again,

the Beatles were only together for like 10 years. That's true. That's true. Dave, please do go on. Okay, so they need to know what happens. The men reshuffled and divided into the three boats, which were only 20 feet long, and had been outfitted with makeshift sales. They dive back into the Essex as much as they could to retrieve as many supplies as possible before heading off. Or of those very hard crackers.

Well, they got a musket and two pistols. Couple of weapons there. Waterlogged, but. Two large casks of bread and 600 pounds of hard tack. The crappy pistols stuff. They did 600 pounds of it. No. But that means all the oil that they had already collected

is gone. They've lost all the oil, yes. No. They do. At this point, they're like, all right, we've got to survive. Can't do it. Fuck the oil. Fuck the oil.

They start fucking the oil, Matt. It did say it's used in lube, so. All right, look at that. They divided up the rations and supplies, and each boat had what they estimated as two months of provisions, which included 65 gallons of water, 200 pounds of hard tack, and two galapicus tortoises each. So I got some of the tortoises, which now they're in an even smaller boat with two tortoises just on the boat. Each. And they've got such big dicks.

To ensure discipline, Pollard gave each mate a pistol keeping the musket for himself. So there's Pollard on one boat, there's Chase and Charge of another, and there's Matthew Joy on the third boat. Second mate, Matthew Joy had the black sailors on his boat, and for some reason was given no navigational aids. So good luck to those guys. They kept the compasses and everything on the other two boats. Because they had two compasses, is that right? Well, they had two compasses, and they also had two squadrons. Hey, all right, ladies, or could they have just followed them

directly? No, they're all sticking together, but it's like, if you get lost, fucking good luck. Right. Sure, yeah, surely they go in the middle then or something. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, again, a racist society. So there you go. Captain Pollard has his cousin Owen Coffin, the one he'd promised to take care of. You keep mentioning that. You keep mentioning your smiling. Okay, I'm just trying to tell you about where all the people are that I talked about, the five people.

So you got Matthew Joy, he's on the fucked boat. Basically, to come home, they didn't give him anything. Something fucked, he'll have a problem. My guess is everyone who dies gets buried inside of Coffin and that's where the word Coffin helps him. Yeah, I agree. Oh, I've got a few. I guess is everyone who dies gets buried inside of coffin and that's where the word coffin helps. Yeah, I agree.

Oh, I've got it. For that they called them dead boxes. Yeah. Now they call them coffin. Bring out the dead box. So Captain Pollard has his cousin Owen. The one that he promised to look after. The one he promised to care of.

And on Chase's boat, he had the young cabin boy Thomas Nickerson. So they're the five that I talked about. They stayed next to the Essex for a couple of days to work out what to do. They were surrounded by a whale oil that leaked from the sinking ship and it began to cover everything. So it was on the surface of the water and then the waves started making it break over the side of the boat. So now they're all covered in this oil. That feels apt. They are lubi. So it's very, very slippery and a little bit. Well they are now all

buttery boys. Two days earlier it had been their fortune but now it's tormenting them and making their life that little bit harder. Yeah. Blubber boys. Regurgitate a row to song about them. They have not got blah blah boy. Yeah. Got that good. I'm your blah blah boy. You should rub me I'm your blubber boy, you should rub me looking like a love child in the sea. Some of that. And this sun and melting, rub me on you. Oh no, there's a sea woman there. You didn't say it. Regret starting that song.

What is it all made of? That was almost a strange lyrics. Bernie Torpen-esque. Yeah. I mean, I'm masterpiece. They set off into the open sea and had to deal with the hot sun and had no shade. Their bread or tack quickly became saturated with seawater and eating it actually made them the thirstier.

They didn't actually, it got really, really wet and then they dried it out and they're eating it going, why is this making us thirstier? And then after a while they twigged, it's just like we're eating bread covered in salt. These pretzels. This tack is making me thirsty. Which was a real problem because I only allowed the equivalent of one glass of water each a day.

Oh, it's not enough. Under the hot sun and surrounded by salt, no good. You gotta have eight. Eight glasses of water. Oh, whoops, we should have done that. And then just be out there, lest. All right. So we've actually only got one day of supplies. But it's going to be a great day. You're going to be well, you're going to feel full and hydrated. You're welcome. Does the whale oil work as a sunscreen as well?

Probably the opposite. Yeah, but they get six hands. That's in the tan. There was no fish around and nothing to fish with. Rainwater, according to their sales, was found to be undrinkable due to the salt. So nothing's looking good. The men quickly began to suffer from dehydration and was smashed by bad weather, which meant the boats were also in constant need of repair. Just when things couldn't get any worse in late November, Pollard's boat was damaged by a marine animal,

speculated to be a killer whale. So now they're being attacked by two mammals, not a whale. What a good save. What are they then? Thearks, they're goatfish, they're humans. In a way, aren't we all human? They're the more of the story. They're the journey, they're the friends you made along the way. They're free willy. Oh that's right, they're actually part of the dolphin family. Dolphins.

Flipper was a spinoff. Yeah. On December 20 after a nearly month at sea. Nearly Christmas! And I'm now looking forward to it. I bet. After nearly a month at sea having traveled some 1500 miles or 2800 kilometers, one of the men saw a land

and everyone rejoiced. They had arrived at one of the Pit-Can Islands. It's a Christmas miracle. Just in time for Christmas. The men were so happy to be on land and ate whatever food they could. Eggs from birds, crabs, that kind of thing. They quickly ate eggs from crabs. No, I think he meant crabs from birds.

Fair this, big crabs. Feet. Feet every little bit, including their crabs. Which I mean, to you and I, it doesn't seem like a lot of food, but to people that have been starving for a month. Ah, you take it. I eat a crab. What do you?

Off of a bird. Noted. Some of us have dignity. Mm. They quickly ate everything on the entire island and quickly realized. That's not true. They eat the sand.

Like, what do they eat? They eat the ground. They didn't. They eat the trees. Did they punk this place as well? Did they eat each other? Did they eat everything? Just in case they set it on fire.

No, they're best. All the food they could find, and then they're like, well, we can't stay here. They found a bit of fresh water, but it wasn't. It wasn't enough to sustain them. So that like they went to the chaos, can they add all the bubbly bills, all the bounty bananas. They said, hey, how many bags are hot chips you got in the freezer? Chuck them on. Chuck them all on. Where about you? You're low on oil. Well, we'll help you out. Yeah. We're a bunch of hungry boys. We're hungry, blah, blah, blah boys here. Have you low on oil? Well, we'll help you out. Where a bunch of hungry boys.

We're hungry blubber boys here. Have you got chicken salt? Look, it's not a deal breaker. Well, still ate them, but we'd prefer them with chicken salt, please. And Tommy's sauce if you got it. Thank you. Thank you. Yep.

Well, after a week of eating all the Tommy source, they decided that if they stayed here, they would all die and they should take their chances at sea in the hope of hitting Easter Island, which is 1,000 miles or nearly 2,000 kilometers away. Despite this prediction, three men chose to stay on the island. This would also help stretch the provision of the men for the men on the boats. So three men were like, ah, see later, we'll take our chances here. But they didn't leave them with any rations or anything. Like, good, more for us. Yeah, see ya. Just trying to catch birds eat the crabs off them. They're like, well, the chaos goes expecting a delivery more hot chip here. So I'll wait here,

thank you. I've developed a real pawn shant for crabs and they've made an inquiry about chicken salt. Yes, and aoli Thank you So three on the island 17 back in the boats the men sailed on through the horrible conditions two more should stay back Second mate Matthew Joy Who had been suffering from an undiagnosed illness even before the sinking became the first man to die He was buried at sea. They weighed him down. So they're not sure what he was sick with, he was just sick.

He'd been sick for a while and despite being in charge of one of the ships, he was the first to go. Until this point, all three ships had been together. That's what it means my first mate. First dead. He's second mate, mate. First dead. He's second mate. Mate, come on. Damn it. It would have been funny though if I got it right, wouldn't it?

Yeah. You would, you would have given me one of these. You know, like a... Yeah, you would have given me one of those, if I was here. Who are you going to get a snort out of him? Not a snort, an exhale. Oh, an exhale. There's no higher compliment from Dave. Than an exhale. Oh, an exhale. There's no higher compliment from Dave.

Then an exhale. Then a nostril. Exhale. Look at him, you just given him out for free now. We've just become an ASMR podcast. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You like that? Huh?

I'm guessing not a lot of people. This is me eating peanut butter. Oh, there's people gagging. That's some people who can't handle such things. I don't like it. You're one of them. I'm like, I know someone who really hates it. Oh, it's you.

I don't like it. Ugh. Weird. Until this point, all three ships have been together. But two nights after Joy's death, the storm broke and Chase's boat was separated from the other two. So now there was Captain Pollard's boat was separated from the other two. So now there was Captain Pollard's boat traveling with Joy's old boat. Which is the navigation free boat?

No GPS. So luckily they're not alone. Turn, take the third exit, none of that. I don't have any of that, but luckily they're still with Pollard, but now Chase's boat. Remember the one who probably fucked this all up in the first place? He's off on his own. By you. Good. Eight days after losing sight of Chase's boat, these other two boats were quickly running out of provisions. That day, Lawson Thomas, one of the sailors on Joyce boat, died. With that most a pound of heart-tack left to share among the ten remaining men, the crew began to speak of the unspeakable cannibalism.

Nathaniel Philbrick, who was written a book on this called In the Heart of the Sea, cheerfully writes, quote, for as long as man had been sailing the world's oceans, famished sailors had been sustaining themselves on the romans of dead shipmates. End quote. So it's normal, babe, you're... It's fine! It's obviously still an upsetting thing, but if you're... It's fine.

It's obviously still an upsetting thing, but it was a bit more accepted amongst people in these situations than probably we would imagine now. Yeah, but I think that still has to be how it goes, right? What'd you do? What'd you eat? Flash out. Oh, you choose, or you're saying dial.

Yeah, what are the options? I don't know. I just imagine that something must kick in some sort of survival and sink It's in and you go and you got nothing to cook him. So you're just eating raw. I know they they can start a little fire Cook them on a hot stone. So they chopped Lawson Thomas up and they ate it. Oh my god They actually ate some of his organs raw Oh my god. They actually ate some of his organs raw.

That's not good. They cooked his flesh and some of the other organs on a fire in the boat. So they cooked it over a hot stone. So it was a bit like a... That's disgusting. Can cook to me, Eel. No. Just seared lightly. Yeah.

I'll have mine blue, thanks. Imagine that. I ordered a medium rare. This is rare. Can you put it back? Yeah. All the other way around. This is too. Can you put it back? Yeah. All the other way around.

This is too cooked. No, thank you. Uncook it. Oh. Anthropologist and archaeologist studying the phenomena of cannibalism have estimated that the average human adult would provide on average about 66 pounds of edible meat. Not bad. But because of his already-emaciated state, because they've been starving

for so long, this body probably only provided about half of that. So they're not getting much meat off him. Oh, hello. 30 cans. I don't know what that really means. I hate this. Yeah. What's a good, what's a steak, you know, what do you know when you go to a bar,

I can't even remember, like you have... Like 300 grams. 300 grams. So that seems like quite a bit of meat. Says this is the two non meat eaters having a go here. Well, there are 10 people and they haven't eaten in a long time. Right, of course. Over the next week, however, three more men died and were you?

Yay! Eight three more men. What the fuck? Do you reckon they'd start to get like, they'd be like, oh, shotgun start to get like they'd be like oh Shock on this part like they'd be parts of the body. They like eating yeah, totally You don't have a taste for certain because everything tastes a bit different. Oh, it's disgusting. I hate this I'm always yeah like you don't yeah, who's a you might be a rib you might be a rib person

I like to eat between the... I hate that nut, never. Okay. What do you... Just a little... The big, you want the romp and the, you know, those bits are... I think it's the bum. I don't want to eat your bum. All right, can you do in this instance? Hmm.

Then in the complete pitch black of the night on January 29, I read one of them right about how, unless you've been in the situation, you probably can't understand how dark it is out there in the middle of the ocean with no other light around them. Especially if it's not no moon, no stars, or foggy night, you literally can't see like your hand in front of your face. How to be, like people pay a lot of money to get that kind of, you know, that darkness, wait, no mobile phones, you know, you just back to nature just with yourself.

Oh, I love that. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just , it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's

just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, you've cared for the tortoises, this whole trip now. Care for yourself in the dark. No one's looking. Is that self-care? You do it at wanking. I guess wanking is self-care in a way.

It can be something small like listening to music you like or going for a walk, but sure, a wank can be self-care. Something big like a wank. It could be something small. On the other hand. So it's completely pitch black one night when on January 29, the two ships split apart. Basically the light came up and they're like, yeah, they're no longer there. I'm guessing there's no rope to them to have been connected or anything. You're not sure.

I think also they're battling big waves, like in the movie Ocean type thing, and they have a storm hits, and in the dark. Like I say, you can't see in front of your face. It's not like you can see them right there. You think you're just every now and then be like, you there? Yep.

You know, you go, Marco. Palo! All night. Yeah, it's very annoying for those trying to sleep. I don't know how much sleep's going on on this, but so it's over there. And for, you know, the other boats around who aren't, you know, in this trouble,

I know what to be for them. They're just trying to enjoy the... Hey, not. We're here. We're just on a cruise. Could you shut the fuck up? Sorry to get pottymouthed there. Shut the F and C up.

The C in that case is Cox Wallup. Shut the fucking Cox Wallup up. Thank you. I mean, I was trying to keep sensitive ears, Dave's away from such cocky mouth. I'm googling Cox Wallup as with speed. Don't don't image it So the two ships split apart Captain Pollard and his three remaining men were separated from joys old boat in which three people were still alive Hendrix bond in West says four and one three and the other and

This was the boat the boat with three was the one without a compass and now they were alone in the middle of nowhere with no idea where they were. In fact, it's not 100% known what happened to these 3 men. Months later, a whale boat with four skeletons washed up on Duchy Island in the middle of the Pacific. This could have been the man, but it's never been confirmed. This is pre-DNA. Pre-DNA. They were just like, wow, it's a whaleing ship and there's four bodies in there. Could have been the man but it's never been confirmed. This is pre-DNA. Pre-DNA.

It's like, wow, that's a whaling ship and there's four bodies in there. Good to be in there. So now, Pollard ship is on its own and so is Owen Chase's boat. They're separate from each other and the third one, we won't hear about them again because remember, they possibly disappeared. But speaking of Owen Chase, let's check in on his boat. Well, they too had gotten mighty hungry, and when Isaac Cole died, they had the talk and ate him as well.

The talk was, so there's the birds and the bees. Yeah. I'm hungry. I know how sex works. This is while they chopper you up. Okay, so what do you want to do is? When your mom and your dad love themselves. Wait, what?

Love themselves very much. I have a special cuddle. All right, this guy just keeps talking about self-care the whole fucking time. Shut up, he's been doing a lot of stuff, won't he? Guys, don't forget to self-care, all right? That was daylight, he's just sitting there with these back kind of to them,

looking at every shot of me, don't look at me. There's no shame in a wink. We all do it. We all do it. Remember to self-care. Do you guys want me to lead a meditation or you wanna just do it yourself or carry?

You let me know. So Chaser's men had to talk, they killed us at call when he died. And it's more men killed him when he died., they killed Isaac Cole when he died. And as more men killed him when he died. Sorry, they ate him when he died. So, your double dead now, mate. Try coming back from this. We were slapping him across the face.

What if he was just really asleep and they sat at eating him? He'd been a real prick in real life. I think if you are about to eat a friend of yours, I'd make sure that I'd double kill him. Slapping a few times? Yeah. Dave, you can't kill someone with a slap. You go to stab him.

I'm slapping him like 400 times. Oh, no. Just to be sure. Psh, psh, psh. Face or bum? Both. Good. All right, you do the bum. I'll do the face this time

There's got to be a better way you get up to 300 and something like hey, what's going on? Like a check like in a boxing county. Yeah, all right if you doesn't get up in 400 We're doing a 400 count As other men died on Chases, but they began to feast The rations of human flesh did not last long, and the more survivors they ate, the hungrier they felt. Yeah. Ah, right.

I guess it's like starvation. You haven't eaten in three weeks or whatever, and then you're like, oh, I had a bit of a map. Got a bit of a taste for this. I'm on a bit of a yes as well. Yeah, then you'd just be like, waiting, you'd be hoping someone would die. Or worse. Well.

Yep. Back on. would die. Or worse. Well, yeah. Back on. Double die. Well, back on Captain Pollard's boat, the four surviving men realized it were that more food that would all die. On February 6, 1821, nine weeks after leaving the Essex, one of the sailors, teenager, Charles Ramstell,

bravely proposed, but no one else was brave enough to say. He suggested they draw lots to determine who should be eaten next. Again, this sounds so brutal that apparently this was a custom of the sea, dating back to the first half of the 17th century. The seas are a bit fucked, isn't it?

It's really, it's got its own laws out there. And when I say who would be next, I mean who they would kill and then eat next. Yeah, interesting that they've stopped the waiting game. Was everyone equally healthy at this time? Yeah, for now they've all eaten. They've all eaten. Right. I think it's been like probably like, you know, 10 days of going past something and they're

like, Jesus, we're all, no one's gonna die. It's like, yeah, you want it to be just natural. Yeah, but like, I think it's gotten to a point you're right that they're all equal and it's like well, we're all gonna die now or you're right We'll have to take it also if you wait till someone dies there's less nutritious Yeah, and I suppose you've left it so long that you might just die as well Oh my god, we're thinking about this too much You want to kill him in a way that you know, you don't want to spook him Because then their meat gets all crunched up. So you want to make sure.

They're real bad. Oh my god, you tell them to wink and then you shoot them in the back of the head. So, I don't want to feed them with, you want to feed them with only grain. Yeah. So, they'll live as nice and tasty. Yeah, and free range. Brain food. The men accepted the proposal and they all drew papers. One of which had a black mark on it. I love that they had a pen with him. Eat the pen, is that what you said? No, you can't keep a fucking boat before you got the pen. The fuck? Guys! You got paper! Yeah.

The paper! Charles Ramstall suggested, bravely, what no one else has brave enough to say. Should we eat this fucking pen? Yeah, smart. What do you hear? Guess who drew the black mark? Oh my god, is it the captain? No, it's a coffin. Oh my god, it's a coffin.

The captain's first cousin that he had promised to protect through the spot. Upon seeing who drawn the spot, the captain shouted, my lad, my lad, if you don't like your lot, I'll shoot the first man that touches you. Huh. Pollard even offered to step in for the boy. Wow. So kill me instead of him. So I think always sort of,

I mean, if you believe his word, he kind of, I mean, the one who would potentially also a different version of a van. And then he said, wow, that's the biggest dick I've ever seen. You're a real hero, Uncle Pollard. Yeah, I surely don't want you to stand in my place for you have the biggest dick.

We must protect such specimen. And of course, it would be a feast for all the men on the ship. We could live in your dick alone for weeks. But it would be such a loss to all humanity that you must live on you must live on for your dick must be seen To be bullied My god, I mean I couldn't even sketch it With this pen that we should eat So he even offered to step in for the boy, but apparently coffin would have none of it quote

I like it as well as any other, he said. They then drew lots to decide who should shoot Coffin. One in three chance now. And his friend... Coffin drew it as well, he's gonna show himself. He's like, oh, fuck it, oh god, I've got to do everything. Who's gonna cook me? Do I, do I mean, a fucking cook? Oh, I gotta cook myself, do I? Oh? Fine. His friend Ramstall was selected. No, it is so brutal. Another young guy I'm like surely just do it yourself. You're not gonna have to worry about the consequences. You're about to be dead But also that probably Christian you were saying and suicide is seen as well

Not on the scene. Not on the scene. Cause I think it's like, well, it's kind of suicide if you don't eat him. Right. Good loophole. Ramsel hesitated a lot, but then his friend bravely lay down on the edge of the ship. And they shot him. Well, he shot him. and the remaining three ate him. Which is so tough. Remember, he promised the cousin that he would look after the boy.

And now he's eating him. Well, in a way, he's looking after him. Give you a beautiful home, Rodney Belly. Where are these guys from again? Nantucket. Nantucket. I'm doing the Nantucket accent. Rodney Old Tamatama. That was one of their local words. He's got his phone again. Nantucket. Nantucket, I'm doing the Nantucket accent. Rodney, Rodney Old Tama Tama. That was one of their local words for stummage. Also there they pronounce the C.H. in stomach. Thanks for clarifying.

Over on Chase's boat, they were down to three survivors, including the young cabin boy Thomas Nicocin, who would all but given up and lay down in the ship waiting to die. The others tried to talk him out of it and say, oh, we're going to get rescue, we're going to get rescue, but he had none of it basically lay down and refused to get up. They thought he was, you know, days away from dying. This was until one of the men spotted a sail in the distance. It was an English ship called the Indian. They had to chase it down for hours hoping desperately

to be spotted. And they were, they were rescued after 89 days at sea. What? Three of them survived. Is this, sorry, is this on, oh, in Chase's boat? Oh, in Chase's boat. Fuck, he doesn't deserve to be seen. Yeah, the guy that was sort of making all the wrong decisions, but Cabin Boy Thomas Nickerson survived. Oh. He lay down waiting to die, and they thought that it would have been another day. He probably would have just gone.

Wow. How do you, do you know how, what did it with his life? I will, I will tell you later on. Awesome. But by now, 300 miles away, Pollard's boat carried only Pollard himself and a sailor named Charles Ramsdale. 12 days earlier, Cruman, Bazzilli Ray, an amazing name, had died and I hadn't eaten since. So there's two of them left.

The two famished men cracked open the remaining bones of their shipmates, then began eating the marrow inside. It's real, yeah. They were so weak, they could barely lift their heads and were drifting in and out of consciousness. I know that's a thing people do, don't at me, but I don't like that. What, human marrow, neither do I. Not human. Don't at that. What, human marrow, neither do I. Not human. Don't at me.

You human marrow. The human marrow society. Not human, not human, but only the marrow out of animal bones and stuff. I'm a big fan of that, I've never really, I don't really get the drawing the line. It's like, yeah, some of it just eat it all. Well, that's what they're doing.

So they've got all these bones and they're just cracking I'm open and sucking out the Well, that's what they're doing. So they've got all these bones and they just crack and I'm open and sucking out the remaining, whatever's left. They were also by this point drifting in and out of madness, obsessing over the remaining bones. Phil Brick, the author wrote the, in the heart of the sea rights, quote, they stuffed their pockets with finger bones.

They sucked the sweet marrow from the splintered ribs and the thigh bones. Is it sweet? Yes, sweet. Yeah, interesting. Then suddenly they heard a sound, men shouting and then silence as shadows fell across them, and then the rustle of wind in sales and the creaking of spars and rigging. They looked up and there were faces." Crumon aboard the American ship called the Duffan had spotted Pollard's boat, but by this point, Delirious infused Pollard and Ramsdale did not rejoice at being rescued, but simply turned to the bottom of their boat and stuffed more bones into their pockets.

Basically, they'd gone absolutely insane. Safely aboard the Duffan, the two delirious men were quote, seen sucking the bones of their dead mess mates, which they were loathed to part with, so they didn't want to give up the bones. They had absolutely lost the plot. For a time. So we've got some food here, you want it?

Yeah, I know your tricks. Yes. He just want me bones. He's going to go into the bottom of the bottom. You want me finger bones. Despite his madness on board the boat, Pollard recovered fast and ate dinner with the captain of the ship that had rescued him, as well as the captain of another ship from New York that happened to be in the area.

They're like, you got to come on board and listen to this guy's story. Pollard was desperate to tell them history and great detail. One of the captains wrote down everything that he said after the dinner and described it as quote, the most distressing narrative that ever came to my knowledge. Wow. The five survivors from Pollard and Chaser's Boats were reunited in Chile and after recuperating went back to Nan Tucket Island together. And as for the three men that stayed on Henderson Island, remember they left three men there? Yeah.

Well, they survived for nearly four months living on crabs, birds, eggs, and berries, and were eventually rescued by an Australian ship. Yay! The spirit of Tasmania. Yeah. They finally came through. So they actually made the... Oh, get a cup of Higama.

That's bad enough to eat each other. They had a much better time. Yeah. And they had vagimodal. They were living on a par- Oh, you know, paradise, basically. Yeah, berries. Tell me berries and crabs and birds, um, in.

I think the thing is if 21, if 20 minutes, say, they wouldn't have had enough, but three were like, hey, I found some. I found a stash, don't tell the others. Now, I'll stay here and die, don't worry about it, I'll be back on the boat. All in all, 12 of the original 21 men never made it home. Many of their bodies eaten at sea. Bow whales. Carmas of bitch.

Wow. Upon returning to their Quake community, what they had done to survivors widely known, but forgiven as necessary for survival. So it wasn't seen as a sin. However, Pollard had to face Nancy Bunker Coffin, the cousin whose son he had promised to care for. She never forgave him for eating her son. I imagine that would be hard to figure. I reckon she's a stuck up bitch. It's the sea, Nancy.

Was it Nancy? Yeah. Come on, Nancy. Eight, her son. Yes. Yeah, but his dick had to be sea. And do you know how sweet his marrow was? It was so, so sweet.

Please stop telling me that. No. The sweetest marrow of all came from your son, so. Please, I don't need to know that. Please stop telling me that. We ain't all talking accent. It's really hard to tie there. You're doing very well, though.

Please. Please, my name is Nancy, and I just don't wanna, I just don't wanna keep hearing about the marrow. Now, tell me one more time. Tell me about my boy. What was his last words? Ow. Ow. What'd you last words? Ow! Ow!

What'd you shoot me in the foot? Oh, it's bad shot. Captain Polar did return to the sea. Oh, no. Retire. Yes, hello. When you say the sea, do you mean the Cox Wallop? No, no. You went sailing out in search of Wales.

Yes, how long before he went back out? Two weeks. Two years. Oh, Two weeks. Two weeks. Oh, in between, three months. He was home for three months after that all deal, which is the same length that he was lost at sea for. He's batshit. I think he's still mad. Well, he kept in another ship called the two brothers.

I'm not getting on his fucking boat. It was actually the whale ship that had brought him home from South America. And they were like, oh, you can captain this. Yeah, this one was lucky This one was really lucky Well young cabin boy Thomas Nickerson and Charles Ramstall the man he'd eaten bones with chose to sail with him on the ship again They went back to see you with him

The two brothers also sank This time off the coast of Hawaii So sank. This time off the coast of Hawaii. No one died in this incident. However, this was the end of his sailing career. Good. From here on, he was considered by many as a quote, Jonah, which is what you call an unlucky person on the sea,

and no ship owner would trust him again to sail. So he was forced to retire. In the Bible, Jonah is swallowed by a large fish or a whale. Ah, yeah. So he's sailing creel was over by time it was 30. He spent the rest of his years as a night watchman on nan tuckets. Cricket are the jobs, that's right.

He was sent into bat and what a brave, what a brave innings he put. He blocked all night. Jesse, get that cricket joke? Yes. I never, I'd generally, the only, I've only ever heard night watchman use as a cricket term. All right, he was like a caretaker.

He wouldn't, you know, go around with a, with a torch at night to make sure nothing dodgy was happening. Nine of the museum, you know. Yeah, a bit like, he was on night shift for the rest of his life, basically. He's a joke. Chuck the joker on the night shift.

Owen Chase, our man that probably fucked it all up. I hope something bad happens to him. He wrote a tell all book a year later and pissed off the Quaker community because they didn't want the story to get out there. Right. This is the memoir that you remember right at the start that Herman Melville read and inspired him to write Moby. Right.

Chase went back to whaling as well. All five of those men that had to eat their friends, they all eventually went back to whaling and one way or another. But the horror of Chase's early 20s caught up with him when he grew older and he started compulsively hoarding food in his attic. He was later declared insane and died in 1869, which I think we can all agree. It's a very good thing. Oh no. Nice. Nice. But I wanted him, I wanted something really bad to happen to him. That sounds awful. He went mad many, many decades later. I'm guessing he, I mean, I want him to like go on a book tour and get hit by a bus. Right. I think you just had like more of a slow, post-traumatic stress time.

Yeah, it just sounds like. Which I'm not wishing upon anyone. It feels like, yeah, that kind of thing, it feels like no one's coming back. I hope he's lonely, unmarried and impotent. I don't know why. I think he's dead now, Jess. Oh, yeah. He's dead now.

He's 1869, Jess. Oh, yeah. He is dead now. 1869. Nice. Nice. Thomas Dickerson, the cabin boy, you asked what happened to him. He worked his way up on ships throughout his life and became a captain himself. So things worked out for him. In 1960, after almost a century lost in an attic, he's a manuscript that he'd written, detailing the event was found and brought new perspective to the story.

So before he dides, an author actually suggested to him, that's a crazy story. You should write down your perspective. And he wrote it. He sent it to the author. The author got sidetracked with something else and it just got locked in and added gear for nearly a hundred years before someone found it and read it and went, oh, and they told a like a maritime museum in Nantucket and it was published in the 80s. Wow.

And did it, oh, I mean, you've probably used some of that in this. Yeah, so it became a new great source on this, because we had Owen Chaser's diary, and then we had Thomas Nickerson's account of it. I bet Owen Chaser's with a lot of, yeah, and then a bloody nailed it again. Well, he actually, it's funny in his diary,

which I think was pretty honest, but he actually left out the part where he had the opportunity to stab the whale. He didn't write that in. Other people told that part of the story. Like, yeah, I was with him. He just stabbed the whale and none of this would happen. He, of course, did not mention that. Interesting.

And as for Herman Melville and Moby Dick, he was very much inspired by this harrowing story, and now Moby Dick is seen as one of the greatest novels of all time, but sadly it was very much overlooked in his lifetime. By the time of the author's death in 1891, it had only sold about 3,000 copies in his lifetime, and he never knew of its success. Interest in Melville as an author didn't start again until the centenary of his birth in 1919 and throughout the 20th century. Many of his works have now been praised as classics. Gerald Angus, the shops. Classic. Not an instant classic, but it's a thinker. It's a real thinker. Yeah, because why should go? It's a metaphor. She's already got everything

she needs. But does she? The Nathaniel Philbrick book I mentioned and Drew from earlier was adapted in 2015 into a film of the same name in the heart of the sea. It was directed by Ron Howard and started our very own Chris Hemsworth. Huh. I personally hadn't heard of it. No. I've heard of that and what that's about. It's about this story. Is it? A sort of a fictionalized accountant that, you know, he goes and speaks to Herman Melville. I haven't seen it, but Ron Howard and Chris Hemsworth worked great together in the film Rush. Love that film, so I think I'll trick it out.

Hmm. Hmm. And finally, as for why this happened in the first place, remember, in the history of the Whaling Company, a sperm whale had never attacked the ship. People were wondering why it happened. It is believed by some that the sperm whales may use clicking signals to communicate up to five miles away. And people have, when they've listened to it, it actually sounds a bit like a hammer being hit, leading to it to be nicknamed the carpenter whale because the noises they make. People speculate that

hammering on the Essex by Owen Chase to repair his whale boat may have been picked up by the male whale and remember they're in breeding time. The male whale may have thought the Essex was another giant whale invading his territory and that's why he had to attack. Because he's a giant whale, it was a similar size to him as well. That makes sense. So maybe hear the clicking, and that's why he was hell-bent. I'm killing what he thought was another well.

Try to get on his ladies. That makes a lot of sense. But yeah. And I'm somewhat of a well-ologist. And that is the story of the essay. That is a wild story. What an epic. What an epic.

And that was the offshoot of the story I was reading. That was wild. That's what I read it and I was like, okay, I've got to talk about this. Yeah, that's amazing. Absolutely. Absolutely amazing. And I'll link to some articles below that I got hooked on. There's one in Vanity Fair from the year 2000 by Nathaniel Philbrook, who went on to write

that book and one on the Smithsonian website that and also a documentary that I'll link to it. Fantastic, fantastic stuff. It's a little bit like one of your other ship epics. Yes, but sadly, unlike Shackleton where they all survived, this one was way more brutal. Really brutal, but it makes you think, would think, would you eat people to stay alive? And I imagine that, like you said, in that situation something clicks over and you just... You stop playing people's fingers in your pockets. Get busy living or get busy dying, am I right?

Yeah. Get busy eating your friends. Or get busy dying. Or get busy being eaten by your friends. Yeah, I know. Wow. I'd like to think you'd sacrifice myself, but there's not much meat on these bones. Yeah, that's a great defense.

But also, maybe one of the reasons why you'll die one of the first. I've also been told that my marrow tastes terrible. So please, Oh, yeah, mind to someone said, uh, Yuck, that was one review. Well, if one of us had to get eaten, shotgun nut. Oh, shotgun nut. It would be me. It would obviously be me.

Why is that? I got the most meat on my bones. Oh, okay. And I claim that title, right? My marrow's very sweet, because I'm a little cutie pie. I got a cutie pie marrow. That's true. It's very sweet.

That's true, but that does bring us to the end of the report. And in true Jergon style, we're gonna finish with our fact quite a question, man. But that does bring us to the end of the report. I mean, true Jurgwon style. We're going to finish with our fact quite a question, man. What a great time. I mean, what a great report. I reckon that's, I've never heard anything about that. I really don't know much about Moe B. Dick either. It just seems boring, but it does.

It's like, oh, but then you tell this story and like, oh, it's obviously is not going to be a boring story. All I know about Moby Dick is that it's a metaphor. Yeah. I'm not sure what for. The white whales are metaphor. We're all chasing it. We're all chasing it. We're chasing something. It's my white whale, they say. Yeah. Are you like what? I think it's heroin. Oh. Is that right, Dave? We're all chasing heroin. Yeah. So this week's fact-quotal question in our segment fact-quotal question comes from Patreon or Patreon. Do we know what we call them, Patreon's or Patreon's? Patreon. Patreon for Patreon.

Yeah. Is Noah Hilvati. Sorry about the pronunciation of you. An H in or an L and I don't know how to say it. Hervati. Yep. Thank you so much Noah for your support on Patreon. You can get on to Patreon at patreon.com slash do go on pod. And with the fact quite a question you also get to give yourself your own title and Noah's given himself the title of senior advisor to podcast I love the efficiency of that title. I love it senior. Yeah, I just worked his way up. I think he has to Is on our yards and he's given us a question slash fact and it is this all I'll ask the question and then give the fact if you two don't know it. Okay. Where in the world is there a nearly eight-month-long lightning storm?

Iceland. No. Norway. Is that a trick question? Like the moon. No, it's not. It's a real place. A de ocean.

Am I close? Uh, yeah, I think most... Yeah, it's called... I imagine it's close to the ocean, but it's on land. It looks like a real place. Am I close? Yeah, I think most, yeah, it's, I imagine it's close to the ocean, but it's on land. Damage. I think. I'm not sure I've known who to this. I don't know why. Qatar Tumbo, Venezuela.

Oh. Off the coast of Venezuela, I just was right. Off the coast of Venezuela, the ever-lasting storm rages for nearly 260 days per year, with over 1.3 million lightning strikes a year, or nearly 250 per hour. Interesting factoid. That is terrifying. What a place to avoid. Yeah, but imagine being near it so you could see it. I'm not going there on a holiday though. I just want to sit on the beach in the sunshine, you know? Yeah, but imagine doing that and then in the background just non-stop lightning.

That's cool. That'd be sick. It's like in the Hunger Games, in the second one, where they can control different parts of the island. It's like that. Like you could sit up on the ridge and watch like a lightning storm over there, but not be in it. It's pretty amazing. Yeah, and you shoot arrows.

You shoot arrows and you name it's cat piss. Cat nips. Yes, please. So thank you so much Noah, you bloody star. And another part of our Petron segment at the end of the show, we thank a few of our fantastic Patrons. And just we normally have a little game and you give us a little game based on the topic.

Can we name this ship? I think we can, Dave. Right, I mean, that's better than going with cannibalism or anything like that. Yeah, how quickly would you die? Would you eat them? Would you eat this person? Ooh.

Pfft. No, let's go with the ship. First off, I've had it safer. I mean, but the ship could go down. But it's a lucky ship. There are lucky ships in the true sense of the word where they don't think. I'd love to thank from Bottle in the United States of America, Mr. Jonathan Bragg. Jonathan Bragg! Jonathan Bragg. That's a good name.

That's a great name. Ship is the destiny. Ship is the destiny. Oh, okay. Jonathan Bragg. Yeah, I was thinking like some sort of cocky thing, but I like that destiny. And do they have a small boat called Destiny's Child? Yes.

No. Okay. Great, it is a great. What do I mean? What do I mean? Pretty good, sorry about that Jonathan. Let her have a small boat on your big boat. I'm sorry that you can't have everything. I just gave you a boat.

Yeah, Jonathan honestly, just just gave you a boat. I just gave you a boat. Can you have a small submarine called Destiny's Child? Yes. Thank you. Thank you. I just said no. No.

Yes. Oh, that's a mum and dad can't agree here. Oh God, it's on a submarine. Thank you so Like I'm just saying no. No. Yes. Oh, that was a mum and dad kind of agree, yeah? Oh God, it's my summary. Thank you so much Jonathan. I'd also love to thank from Nagoya in Japan Ashley James. How exotic. How exotic. James.

Thank you so much for your support Ashley James and I think your boat would be called the Spearmind Elephant Day. Oh my God, I love it. Oh wow. Also Spearment Yum. Yeah, yum. And I think, because the Spearment Rhino, I think is a strip club franchise.

So I don't know what the Spearment Elephant Day is, but I think it's in a majestic. It sounds like a classy strip club. Yeah, it's like, they respect the girls there. Right. But thank you, Ashley. The spearmint. Can I thank the peephuntay?

And a funtay, at least fun to say. Yeah. Can I thank some people as well? Yes, please. I would love to thank from London. Where we just were a few months ago. God, it feels like it was. Only a few months ago.

Yeah. Can't wait to get back. I'd like to thank Luke McKennan. Oh, Kern. The Kernan. Great North Melbourne Rockman was named McKennan. Corey McKennan. What are the Rockman's a good name for a shift?

The Rockman. Oh, yeah, good one. The Rockman, I like that. The Rockman. Sounds like it's not gonna go down, which means it probably will go down. Yeah, sorry to say. So thank you to Luke and I'd also like to thank from Garland in Texas.

Oh, fantastic. John, ah, maze. Ah, is that a no? John are maze. Is it supposed to be John are maze? I mean, that is. If you're a parent. Amazing, I see.

Did you do that? John? Is this real? Your your parents is this reality? Are we being punked you gonna set a photo our own don't we live in a very big Island so what's the ship called the SS punk? SS punk yeah punk or punk what is SS Stanford again? Sailing ship salty Yeah, sailing ship makes more sense, doesn't it?

It's probably not that. I can't do that. Well, you don't, because you can't answer it right now. I can't do that. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't do that. You Googling. Alright. Dave, you've been disqualified. You would have got it. I mean, steamship. Oh, I did not know that. Steam ship. Steam punk. Yes, steam punk. The SS steam punk. Steam ship punk. Dave, would you like to thank

some people? I'd love to punk some people. Thanks so much, John, are amazing. You're amazing. I'm gonna punk a few people now. Okay. I'd like to thank from Waterlooville in England. I'd like to thank Sam Gain. Gain, leg day. The Marty Leg Day. Gain's a white game. Oh, the dumbbell. Oh, the dumbbell.

Ooh, I like that. Oh, okay. Sounds a bit sinky. No. Yeah, down, down on like a dumbbell. No, it's good. No, it's fine. No. Yeah, down like a dumbbell. No, it's good. No, it's fine. No, I think.

You think of something better than floatbell. Oh, yeah, it's perfect. I love it. Wait, what did you, water, waterloo? There's an appol in there. Abba. Abba. The Abba.

The Freedda. The Abba Dabba Dabba. Is one of the Freedda? Did I fuck that up? No, you did, yeah. You got patty and Selma. No, you got Fred Wilma. Wait, what are we talking about?

Name is Abba. You've got Sigrid Thornton. What? Why do we talk about sea change? I think the Abba. The only thing about Benny and Bjorn, we've got Agnatha. Oh, beautiful names. And Annie Fred. What? Annie Fred, you're thinking there's an F in there.

I'll pay it. Annie Fred, beautiful. Two beautiful names. Ag. Just say, but... What a good word. All right, I reckon that it should be... It should be the Agatha, Bjorn just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying Thanks for your support, appreciate everything you do for us. And I'd also like to thank from Dublin in Ireland, Shavon Levelle. Oh, that is great.

What a bell. It's a beautiful last name. Just as favorite town in the world. Correct. You got a name? The River Dance. Oh, Captain By Mr. Flatley himself. No, God no.

No, Captain By Shavon. Shavon of all people knows how great evidence is and is driven by. Driven, first mate. Yeah, whoever, on who's on the wheel? Flatly. It's tapping away. Tippet, tap.

96 taps per second, somehow. Somehow, I don't get it. What a guy. What a guy. What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. That's Sultan Peppa. Oh, thank you so much, Vaughan, Laval, Samgain, John Amaze, Luke McCurden, Ashley James, Jonathan Brake, beautiful bunch. You are the class of episode 170. Thank you. Well done.

Good for you. Thanks so much for tuning in everyone. That does bring us to the end of the episode. We should say we've got things coming up. If you want to come to CS live, we're in Adelaide and we're in Melbourne and we've got other dates that will probably be announcing shortly. And you can find out more about that and everything else at dogoonpod.com. You can find out about my tour through Perth, Brisbane, Adelaide and Melbourne at mattschortcomedy.com slash gigs. And if you use the discount code, do go on to get a discount. And anything else you should say, Dave's bookcheap podcast is going bloody great guns.

Check it out if you love books. If you like books, I don't want to read the book, check it out. Even more so. And I do a podcast called Primant Soul Bat Primates and Poppier Culture. It's just a fun, good fun time with funny people from around the place coming in a chat about nonsense-ish things, but also primates, and we have a bit of fun. Thanks so much for joining us again. What an epic episode this has been. Dave, thanks so much for the report. Jair, say any final words. Banana. That's a beautiful one. Thank you so much. And as we always say here on the podcast,

That's a beautiful one. Thank you so much. And as we always say here on the podcast, the latest! Goodbye! Bye! This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want. It's up to you. Hi, icons. It's Danny Pellegrino from the Pop Culture Podcast, If you won't, sub to you.

Hi icons. It's Danny Pellegrino from the Pop Culture podcast, everything iconic. And I love Nordstrom. No place better to shop, particularly during the holiday season, because they have everything. They have holiday decor at Nordstrom. They have cozy cardigans from barefoot dreams, my fave. They have cold weather attire, party attire, plus free shipping and free returns. Free store pickup. You can also purchase a recycled fabric gift bag so your item arrives festive and wrapped. So check out Nordstrom this holiday season, a one-stop

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