Two In The Think Tank - 171 - Lizzie Borden, Axe Murderer?

Episode Date: January 30, 2019

"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks/When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." OR DID SHE? This week's episode is an old timey mystery, and for a pretty bleak topic, this is actually a very funny and silly episode.  Check out our website for tickets to live shows, merch and more: dogoonpod.comSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes:www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSubmit a topic idea directly to the hat: http://bit.ly/DoGoOnHat Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] References and other reading:https://www.stuffyoushouldknow.com/podcasts/how-lizzie-borden-worked.htmhttps://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/gvz7x9/hacking-away-at-our-ongoing-obsession-with-lizzie-bordenhttp://time.com/5395515/lizzie-borden-history-chloe-sevigny-kristen-stewart/https://famous-trials.com/lizzieborden/1437-homehttps://gizmodo.com/all-the-evidence-against-lizzie-borden-and-why-she-was-1721936980 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution,

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in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time, mycomputercareer.edu. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mites. Hello and welcome to another episode of Do-Go-One. My name is Dave Warnocky and before me, the people that you know and love Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Always before Dave. Yeah. I'm, yeah. Is that good? Are you being, is that you being nice or mean?

Yeah, I felt like that I was standing on the altar and you're my subjects. Oh, okay. Yeah, it makes sense that you would feel that way. But for me on the bill, my supporting acts. There we go. Oh, okay. Before yeah, okay.

Okay. Okay, he's got so much confidence for such a weird looking man. Man. It is weird. It doesn Man, it is a weird impression. It doesn't make any sense. Makes it easy. Like you are not connected to reality in any way. That's part of the charm. I don't think Steve Buschimi has this much.

I reckon he does. Confidence. He's got charisma, baby. Okay. He does. And he's got. Who else has charisma? Serial killers.

Yeah, that's true. I was just going to say anyone but Jess book. Yeah, and I'm not a serial killer or a cult leader. Is that true? Yet. Okay, thank you. I'm just putting that in there in case people are listening in 20 years and I've taken a turn, you know, what kind of cult you're going to have? Probably like a really nice one. Yeah, well, you're giving yourself an out there because it would be so embarrassing if you were a murderous cult later one day to look back and realize that you said you weren't one. How embarrassing. Because like they would pull that up and the media would have a frenzy like, oh look,

she said she wasn't. Was it a cover or a long? Just at the point of at the time of recording, I'm not, nor do I have any intention, but I'm just saying never say never. Yeah, you preserve that right. I don't know what is possible. I could have some sort of mental snap. Yeah, if you do it most weeks.

I do. I'm a roller coaster. Wee! Well, I just ride through roller coaster. Let me tell you about some upcoming live shows. They're going to be both fun and live. Oh, the big two. Yeah.

We tick both boxes. They're going to be educational. Yeah. Yeah, it's a half tick. Hell yeah, yeah. Huffed. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

We were coming to Adelaide for the first ever time. Now people told us not to go there because of the crime rate. No, true. No, because of. That was because of the crime rate. No, because of the church rate. Because of the fact that you don't like to buy tickets in Adelaide. We've sold a few, which we're very happy that the people that have bought tickets. But it is a bit lacking behind the other big cities we've been doing before. Adelaide, come on.

The listener to ticket by a ratio could be better. Yeah. Sorry, I'm sorry to use that kind of language. Dave's going, oh, you dickheads and Matt's like, hey, nah, come on. No, I think it's going to be great. I mean, even if it stopped right now, it's going to be a great fun show. 100%. And that is at March 10th, the National Wine Center in Adelaide, which is going to be the

hottest new hub of the Adelaide French Festival. Yes, it's in a great spot looking on the map. I can't wait to be there. I'm going to take a Friday or a Monday off because it's a Sunday afternoon. I make a long weekend of it. Adelaide French is the time of year we're going and that is a fantastic time to be in that day. Take the Monday off day, please.

It's a public holiday here in Vic, so yeah, you should. Really? Let's have a couple of shandies after the show. Dave, please. My public holiday here in Vick, so yeah, you should. Really? Let's have a couple of shandys after the show. I love that. I'm going to meet some of those beautiful pandas. What? I thought it's two pandas. It's a famous panda.

What? Can I come? Yeah, they're growing. Oh, you hesitated. Fine, I'll go alone. Hey, it's between me and the pandas. Oh. OK.

Big fan, big fan. We're me and the pandas. Oh, okay. Big fan, big fan. We're also doing the following month. Melbourne Comedy Festival starts at the end of March goes through to April. We're doing four Saturday afternoon podcast. Come on down. Love to see that. They are always some of the most fun shows we've ever done.

Third year in a row. It's actually more like, come on up because this year we're moving to upstairs. Yeah, we're leaving that basement at the European beer cafe and going to the second floor. Yeah. It's going to be a lot of fun. And only maybe a couple of them will go out in the feed and a couple of them will only be able to be heard in the room. And then be able to hear it in the room.

The Swedish chef's going to be there. Absolutely right. He'll be able to boo, but do. Matt debuting in your character. Also, if you're up for live stuff, I'm touring my new show, Bone Dry. Starting in less than two weeks in Perth, then going to Adelaide at the wine center, then Brisbane at the powerhouse and Melbourne at the Chinese Museum. You can find out all these dates and links to tickets at matstewatcomedy.com slash gigs. And Dave Warnocky has really been

whipping this show in a shape. My goodness. I have not taken off this beret in months. Sitting on a drink, he ordered a director's chair with his name on the back. Stenciled on there. Every good bit of the show is because of him and every bad bit of the show is because I have not worked hard enough as Dave keeps telling me. I've made you feel like shit. You really are.

Wipping me, like literally whipping me in a shape. But I'm your height man and I've just been sending you like emojis, a little thumbs up. Yeah. And I think you're making him weak. And we balance you out. Angel on one shoulder and a real asshole on the other. That's right. That dog does not deserve any emojis.

It's not been writing enough or funny enough. Director Dave is mean. He's real mean. So mean. But the show will win awards. I guarantee it. Wow. Wow.

Okay. You're on the record, Dave. You just said that into a microphone. I don't know if you know, but that thing in front of your face is a microphone. I also will be holding an award ceremony at the end of the season. And one of them might be for the comedian who didn't work hard enough with this material.

So you don't want to win that award. Okay, okay. Can there be a best hype man? Yeah, best hype man. There's a few people in the running. Oh fuck. Let me just say, who else? Well, who else has been hyping you behind my back? It's a secret ballot.

This is bullshit. The Academy will be voting. This is rigged. I am furious. I'm excited by the process. So lots of fun comedy stuff coming around the country. I'd love to see you at Matzkiyks or at one of our live podcast. Now, this week Jess, it is your turn to report on a topic because that's what we do on the show here. Matt and I do not know what it's gonna be, often nominated by a listener, I believe the Patreon supporters have voted

what you're gonna talk about. They have. And you may have written a question. I have. That is exciting. So. Something I should just qualify quickly is sometimes people think that you have

to be a patron of suggest topics. That's not true. Anyone can suggest topics. Absolutely. Open it all times. There's a little form you can find on our website submit a topic is the tab. It's do go on pod.com. And it's just most weeks there's a vote with patrons, but they they are often voting on non patron suggested topic. So anyone can suggest a topic Just sort of should clarify Which I believe was the wrong word. Oh, but looking back. I'm gonna do better. I'm gonna try and do Oh, Dave it's working. Yeah, I'm making them a better person. I get it now. Yeah, piece of shit Hey, it's like a tough love thing. Yeah, that's right. Like a like a major major pain thing. Yeah, I love you the most, but I won't tell you.

What? So forget that. It's beautiful. Thanks, Damian Wayne. Damian Wayne. Sorry, Damian. All right, I did write a question, I'm very pleased with myself for that. And I hadn't heard of this topic, so I'd be interested to see if either of you have.

So my question is, oh, okay, I haven't got one in a while. I reckon Who is the subject of the rhyme? I'm gonna say for you now. Oh I know this one. It's old McDonald. No, that is good good good good good I've heard of him that's not can I say the rhyme and oh, okay. Yep. Sorry. I know I miss understood the question Who is subject of the rhyme? Oh, okay, yep. Sorry, I miss understood the question. Who is subject of the rhyme? Oh, McDonald's. Secretly, it was about the pig all along.

This rhyme. Token Axe and gave her mother 40 wax. Oh, I do not know. 40 wax with a wet noodle. Simpsons, Martin Prince. It is. Do you know this one, Matt? It's an American woman, acts as she rhyme with acts.

No, it rhymes with fizzy Fordon. Oh, Lizzy. Yep. What's the second bit? Fordon. Fordon, modern, cordon, da-don, b-don. B-don. Lizzy, b-don. Yeah, 40 Wax with a wet noodle.

Dave, for the person who is out there tracking who's getting the most right, that one goes to me. That is a real slap in the face with a wet noodle. Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother 40 Wax. When she saw it, she had done, she gave her father 41. 41 what? Oh man. I mean, they got to be specific in the old the album. So had you heard of it only because

of the Simpsons? Oh it's one of those things that's hard to know. I know like tiny I could sum it up in a sentence like that. That's that lady that was an ax matter of that's it. Nice. It might be from the- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- Or like- probably longer. I get along yeah so it's hard to say for sure. I definitely could but I'm bad at maths. Don't want to take a stab here. Well that's exciting because I'd love to know more about it to be honest. Well obviously our Patreon supporters agree. Bad luck because I've researched something else. Yeah I put a few topics up to the vote and I was surprised that this was a winner, but by a relatively small margin,

like the next, the second topic was behind by under 20 votes, I reckon. Yeah, right. So it was fairly tight, but this was the winner. And this has been suggested by Matt Hall, Mike Winchler, Dylan Loghead and Julie Bay. Jess, we've got to stop making up people like loghead. Just say some listeners did. If you can't back it up with real sanding names. I thought Mike Winclough was pretty good.

All of those items are fantastic. They just are not real people. Didn't we have... Didn't we thank Mike Winclough? Yeah, look, I'm... I don't... I don't care how many times we thank someone, but it doesn't make them real

Okay, you know look I'm thanking Mr. Sheffield again, but unfortunately he's a fictional character Matt These people are now listening and having a real identity crisis hang on They're like am I not really have I not been real this whole time. Oh twist. There's a twist Yeah, you're doing that to them. Okay. This is part of this little bit you're doing. Well, it's cute little bit.

Yeah, I mean, that's assuming they exist, which they don't. Wow. So how do you listen when you don't exist? Fuck, good point, I... Unless the author has written that into their story. But they have the ability to listen? Yep. Wow. I'm sorry. Wow. I'm sorry. They definitely are real people. Great name. So love it. Log head, especially. Yeah, it's a good one.

Winclah. Winclah. Very much. Who else have they? Julie Bay. Julie Bay. I mean, as if there's someone out there in the world called Julie Bay. What about Matt Hall? You got a problem with Matt Hall? Matt Hall? You mean what, Matt Hall? I cannot, what language you're sitting. Isn't that what you would name the grand hall in your mansion? Yeah.

Matt Hall? That's the hall where I keep all my dormats. How many of you? You'll find them in Matt Hall. Why have you got so many dormats? Why, why would all the questions? God's, take her away. That's a weird thing to have a lot so many door mats? Why would all the questions? God's, take her away. That's a weird thing to have a lot of.

Is it? Yeah. You're weird. Your face is weird. That's weird. That's mean. The matter of all I'd have gym mats and I'd learn to do a back flip. That's how it's been.

How would you learn with a gym coach? Yeah, and a big trampoline. Fuck yeah. I always want to be able to do that, but I'm a bad back. Probably a harness. It's just not worth it. Now, worth the risk.

Anyway, so on the 4th of August, 1892. Oh, good year. Good year. Andrew Borden and his wife Abbey Borden were found dead in their home. Both showing signs of being struck with a hatchet. Andrews daughter Lizzie was accused of the crime was charged with their murders.

However, she was acquitted the following year as the evidence submitted against her was mostly circumstantial. This has got to be the quickest report of all time. It was great. Wow, yeah, I loved it. That was fascinating. She killed a parents, but she didn't.

Because she really whizzed through that. I guess we'll never know who did it. This sucks because I was so excited to try this new structure and I was like, how am I gonna do it? I think I'm gonna do like this and then we'll go back and then we'll go through, you know? And immediately two dot points in, you've shadowed over it. Yeah. Oh, that's how you're starting. Okay.

I thought I meant sorry. It's beautiful start. I can't wait to hear more. Well, you're gonna my longest report yet you're gonna hear a metric fuck ton more. Oh, that's a one more metrically speaking. Yes Wow. Metrically speaking. Yes. She and her trial became a national sensation and she's gone down in history as a killer who got away with it. Oh.

Or is she a killer? Oh. And did she get away with it? But she definitely is a sensation. Yeah. Oh, she's a sensation. She was bullet up the charts. So let's have a look at what happened from that day. I'll pull it up the charts.

Where's a chart? Point to your charts. Is it near your chuff? Yeah. That's the one next to your chuff. Next two. Hey, come on. You got a double barrel.

Yeah. Double date. Double date dive. No, I'm a double dada. Got a chuff. Got a chart, which one do you want? No, either please. None for me. I've already eaten. Yeah, I'm okay, thank you. Okay, well, I'll get this a lot. So fun. Yet he still has that confidence. It makes no sense. Comes out of my chart.

Okay. I've got something in my own stores. All right, so we're having a look. We're going back. We're going back to the beginning. Oh, I like that. Flashback. So Lizzie, Andrew, Borden. Well, there's your problem.

Ha ha ha ha. Her dad gave her his name. I'd be pissed off as well. I find that odd. I love it. She was born on the 19th of July and 1860. Because obviously, she's getting his surname as well. Yeah. I could understand maybe getting the mother's name or something to sort of have a bit of her family going on.

You've just taken both names, man. Yeah. A bit of a whole... Yeah, a hogging it, Andrew. But maybe Bit of a hole. Yeah, hogging an Andrew. But maybe it was just, yeah, maybe it was just trying to mix things up a little bit. And you thought about it that way. Maybe he was... Maybe he was very progressive. He was trying to pioneer a new thing.

Yeah, maybe it's because of him that Cameron Diaz is called Cameron. Wow. Never thought about that. And Fred Astaire is called Fred Astaire. Matt doesn't get it. That's okay. I'll explain later. Astaire.

That's like a thing you climb up to go to the top floor. That's not a human name. It's okay. So silly. It is silly. Yeah, I love it. So she was born in Fall River, Massachusetts. Great state. Tessera and Andrew Borden.

Andrew came from a wealthy family, but despite this, he grew up in a fairly modest surroundings. He eventually worked his way up and became very successful in the manufacturer and sale of furniture and caskets and went on to become a successful property developer as well. He also directed several textile mills. He owned a considerable amount of property. Directing like I do. You're shit. You're looming. It's terrible.

They're like, all right. This director is a real alter. He's tough, but the results speak for themselves. Also selling furniture and coffins in the same shop. Wow, what do you want to? I don't know if it was the same shop. Sit down or lie down, what do you want? I don't know if it was the same shop.

Maybe they were adjoining shops. Okay. He also, somehow, was the president of a bank. So it was a very busy man. What's he, wow. He does a lot. I like the idea that there's a greater, the shop they're joining and depending on how sick or well they're looking, he'll guide them to one side of it.

Yeah. Oh, here, the coffins, if you say this one. I imagine more like a wedding where it's like bridal group. He's like furniture or dead. The ones whose decision is made, you can't go back. Yeah. So if you look, you're looking sickly, don't try and buy a couch because he'll put you in the funeral parlour and he will not let you live. You better not have allergies. Especially.

How you favorite sneeze as you get to him and he's like, okay, right over here. If you've got something perfect in the harkini for you. I'm socially awkward and he puts you in the coffin section and you're like, all right, well, I don't want to make a scene. So I guess this is the end. Oh, guess which one am I going to die in? I'm very healthy and young. That's how these work, right? You get in them and do.

Yeah, eventually. So Andrews estate was valued at around $300,000, which is equivalent of $8.3 million today. That's good. That's good stuff. So he was a millionaire. They're very wealthy. Lizzie's mother Sarah died when Lizzie was two years old, and her older sister Emma was 12. Two years later, shortly before Lizzie's fifth birthday,

Andrew Borden married again to a woman named Abbey Gray. And despite his crazy wealth, Andrew Borden was known to be really frugal. The house had no electricity and no indoor plumbing, both of which were very common for wealthy people at the time. Oh right, so it's not like he's just going with the times. No, he could have had it. He could have had it. It was quite common for people with money and he had a lot of money, but it was like, nah. Sometimes that's how rich people get rich, right? They just, they're tired of everything.

That's how you did it, Dave, is that? Hey. You get a tight chart? Yeah, that's another great part about having a chart. Someone to keep you cash. I plan to be more like a JK rolling type and like qualify for like richest people but then be disqualified

because I gave so much of it away to charity. Because I'm such a per se. Right. But that's only once I'm a bajillionaire. Then I'll start to help other people. At this point, I'm looking after number one. I mean, it's not like, yeah, you're not giving away 1% of your wealth now.

Yeah. You're waiting till you have $10. Hey, it wealth now. Yeah. Your weight really have $10. What? $10. Hey, it all helps. How much would I have if $10 is 1%? That would be 100. Is that right?

No. That's 1000. 1000. 10,000 dollars and a million dollars. A million dollars. Am I a million? So you said you're looking after a number one. Who's that?

May. Oh, that's a bit arrogant You think you're number one in the world in my house. I said we're For now, the cat. I never cat and your car My car is pretty good. You got a quite a nice cat. I actually do. Yeah, I do have a good couch The fridge works real well. No the fridge and consistently the needs to go. You're lucky to make top 10 in that small apart. You're right. My bookcase is sick actually. It's beautiful bookcase. It's really nice. The toasts are very evenly toasts. I've been hanging out when you're not

around. It's my toast is like a cute color. It matches my kettle. Yeah. Oh man, those two are good. They're a power couple. Yeah, my walk is great. Yeah. Oh no. Don't know if you meant that, but power couple's very good. Thank you, very good. All right, fine, I'm number 10 in my own house. Top 10. Top 10, well done. Yeah, I know, but then my boyfriend's moving in,

so I'm gonna be 11. Oh, I push that. Well, you know, I reckon you give him a fair run. I reckon. You're a good don't want to be in the top 10, my place, bloody hell. Who's above you? They don't chart that low. I chart that low.

You do look. Ha ha. And Dave, let's not forget that when you're out of the house, my girlfriend is second in charge. She's still like, well, I can't make any decisions. Well, we also have a very nice toaster. There's a fire, but Dave's not here, so the place will burn. I'll just sit in the corner.

Wait for Dave to come back. That is the best. Anyway, so yeah, they had no electricity, no indoor plumbing. They definitely could have, but they didn't. And the house they lived in, it was originally built as a two-family home, it was converted when the boarden, the boardens boarded, that's hard to say. And they converted it pretty cheaply, like they just kind of knocked out some walls and added a staircase. So it kind of resulted in a house. A Freda staircase?

He's been waiting for you to say, Stair for so long. There'll be other chances too, so he's a... I really had not been waiting for you to say, Steph is so long. There'll be other chances too. So he's just, I really had not been waiting. No, no, no. Like what are the chances even said Steph is? I'm going to say it a bit. I really thought I'd moved on.

And unfortunately, no. No, fortunately. It's the curse of Lizzie Bourdain. So, so if you're now got some sort of double mega-manantry? Yeah, it's a bit weird. So it kind of resulted in a house where Lizysian and sister had to walk through their parents' room to get up the stairs to go to the other rooms. Like it was a bit of a private, but Warren kind of house.

It's a bad conversion. Yeah, you didn't think that through. They didn't play the Sims. I'm always thinking about that on the Sims. I've been always. Architecture. You've been always. Matt Halls.

Matt Halls. Yeah, everywhere. Oh. Because otherwise, like, I'm not walking through my siblings' room to go to the bathroom. Architecture, you look allways. Matt Halls. Yeah, everywhere. Because otherwise like I'm not walking through my siblings' room to go to the bathroom. Yeah, no good. No good. What is with that design? Yeah, that sucks. No good. Of that hypothetical house. Where's your privacy? Yeah. What if they're wanking? Yeah, yeah. In the Sims. In the Sims. Or charting. Or charting.. Yeah, that is I don't I can't look at him Are you charting right now? No, don't please you'd know We lived with you when we were on tour I didn't I didn't know that's why I was not allowed that mezzanine

Bedroom, okay I didn't know. That's why I was not allowed that mezzanine bedroom. Okay. When allowed it, you beat me in rock purposes. I don't know if I won a single game of rock purposes overseas. Well, great to disagree. Go back to the tape. Please just to go on. They lived in a fairly affluent area, but it wasn't where the wealthy people in town lived. Like it was a nice area, but the super wealthy people preferred to live in an area called the Hill, which seemed to be like the hip and fashionable place to live.

But they decided to live closer to the industrial area in a house that was nice, but not what was expected of people of their wealth. Might not have been affluent, but without indoor plumbing, it might have been effluent. I knew something would come of affluent, and I'm very proud of you. I'm pretty sure I've stolen that from Kathene Kim. Yeah. Even the delivery time, like you were,

Kathene Kim character, effluent. Yeah, I got this Australian accent I'm working on. It's very good. Thank you. Now, Lizzie and Emma had fairly religious upbringings. They attended church. They were involved in church activities. Lizzie taught at Sunday School to children of recent immigrants to the US.

She served as secretary treasurer for the Christian Endeavour Society and was part of contemporary social movements like the Women's Christian Temperance Union and she was also a member of the ladies' Frutenflower mission. Oh, that sounds like a sweet mission. Yeah, I didn't bother looking out what it was because I was like, something that was frutenflower and all about that. All about that. Yeah.

So my parents retired last year and now they live down to the beach. And mum, you know, starting to meet local people and they're not that old. They're probably only in their early 60s, but she met some older people that are part of the local knitting club. Great. And someone was like, oh, you should join everyone. That else is probably 70 plus. And once the lady said to her, oh, you should join the club and she got the president over

and the president said, oh, we'd love to have you. But we'd like to only have 12 people at a time, because that's how many chairs we have. So, we'll let you know when there's an opening. When this opening is because someone's side. Yeah, and then the other lady who originally said to my mum goes, don't worry, I'm sure something will come up soon. Oh, my God. And then Mum's gone, but get another chair.

Yeah, the idea. Another chair. We only liked Dev12. Does your Mum want to be a part of this club? She doesn't hear it at knitting, but you know, just the social, the lady is really nice. She was like, yeah, okay, maybe I'll be interested and then sort of got there. That does sound a little bit to me like she didn't cut the mustard. Totally.

It does sound like a rejection, doesn't it? were looking after feelings. The president looked at her hands was like, she's never needed a day in her life. She'd be a terrible niddle. So you're on the guess list? For the fucking knitting club. Sorry, man, not no shoes. Something you'll come up soon. Yeah. Ethel's looking. Yeah, basically someone will die. Don't worry about it. I'll make sure of it. Wow.

So I'll keep you posted. Please. I'm going to the club, I'll let you know. And then can she make us? Wait, which club did you make us? No, the first club. Okay. Can she make us scarves?

Yeah, I'll get her right on it. Oh, that'd be so good. That'd be so great. So yeah, she's part of the Fruton Flare mission. Not sure what that is, but it sounds great. What I'm trying to paint is a relatively normal and wholesome life. Yeah, right. She sounds like she's, she's no signs of serial killers, you know, she didn't like burn pets or anything. She's pretty normal. Right. Um, they apparently, they didn't have the best relationship with their stepmother, apparently they referred to her as Mrs. Borden. They didn't have the best relationship with their stepmother, apparently they referred to her

as Mrs. Borden, they didn't really call her anything, like Marm more. Good morning, Mrs. Borden. Yeah. Wow, even though you're walking through her bedroom to get to the steps. Yeah. Borden?

Borden? Different reports say different things about the relationship Lizzie had with their stepmother, but it seems like it wasn't amazing, but it wasn't awful either. It was just kind of an average, you know, they had their ups and downs. Pretty bored. Yeah, it's pretty bored. It's, although there have been reports as well that Lizzie believed that Abby married her father for his wealth, so she wasn't too keen on her, but you know, they weren't at each other's throats or anything. Bad choice of words there.

Anyway, that's, I feel like it's the kind of, if you're after someone for their wealth, I'd be after someone who also spent their wealth a bit. I've been moving anywhere with a multi-millionaire and finding out that they don't bother spending money on electricity or something. No, but you'd put up with it if he was like heaps older than you and you've done you get in here. Oh, if he's in the nitty-pump. But he's like five years older than her. There's not a huge age difference. It's not like he's 40 years older and it's like a clear, gold-digger situation where you just have to hold on for a bit and then you inherit millions.

Yeah. It's not even that unfortunately. Yeah, which makes it seem like it's probably maybe look. I know these two very well, and I just think she was in it for love. Oh, yeah. Lame, there has to be something, you benefit from it.

If love is lame, then call me Mr. Lame, the love machine. You wanna stick with that nickname? Oh, no. Please Mr. Lame, the love machine. Let, no. Please miss the name of the love machine. Let's leave that one. I'll leave that one love machine. No, let's leave that one there and move on or again. Okay.

Yeah, when I started that sentence, I didn't anticipate it ending there. Yeah, no, but a quick note to future Jess when you're editing this to just change Matt's name in our group chat to love machine. I love it. Dave can stay as toilet boy. I love you. You don't see your own one. No, you don't.

What am I lonely girl? Yeah. Still? I think Dave should be changed to chat boy. Yeah. Happy with that. Top of the charts. No, and something else will come up for me.

I'm sure. Anyway. Top 10. Number 11 in her own house. She did it in a toaster. Um, Bridget Sullivan was the boarden's 25 year old live in May, who'd immigrated to the US from Ireland. Um, and she later testified that Lizzie and Emma really ate meals with their parents.

So like they weren't a really close family, they were fine. Those still kids. Um, those kids were all of this, right? I think this is a bit older. They were 10 years, I'm telling you. Yeah, teens and like early 20s. Bratty teens? Probs.

But I mean, we all have that, don't we? They're probably playing video games. Non-stop. That's why they're not at the dinner table. Yeah, they're playing Sims. They're eating while playing video games. Yeah. Double screening, probably.

Triple even sometimes. Well, I've got the money. Yeah. It should be noted here too that Bridget, the maid, was never referred to by her actual name by the board and family. They called her Maggie, which one source, one source said was the previous mate's name and which Andrew Bond had just continued to use for the new mate.

What a prick. Yeah. He sounds like a real man. Maggie, can you come in here? Actually, and he never listened. That's like a bad movie trope. You know, often in comedies there's one character who won't respect.

Actually, my name's Darren. Okay, Greg. Yeah. That's one, Greg. Yeah, there's a lot of that. Classic Greg. Almost through a fair to her is Bridget. But if I say Maggie, I'm talking about Bridget.

Okay. We clear? Because you also don't respect her. Oh no, I'm talking about Bridget. Okay. Right. We clear? Because you also don't respect her. Oh, no. I don't. She's just the help. Yuck.

Which is what are you also called her? Help. Help. So there's a few, this whole case, this whole story is a lot of contradictory information and a lot of stories that some sources make to be this huge big catalyst and others are just like, no, so this is one of them. In May or June of 1892, so just before the incident, Andrew killed multiple pigeons that were in his barn. Well, one source says he killed them because he believed they were attracting local children into the barn to hunt them. I'll hunt them first. Yeah, I'll kill them so that you have nothing to hunt. I don't

only have local children in the barn. And was he using an axe to kill these pigeons? A hatchet, yes. To kill a, I was trying to kill pigeons. Well, how do you get them throwing them? He's grabbed them and then just holds them and chops a hit off. He's not just waving an axe around. How do you grab a pigeon, amazing work. Yeah, I mean, yeah, surely you could get,

anyway, good on him. It's the 18, 90s guys. Every people are hatcheting pigeons. We're all doing it. There's a different one. I know what I was. Yeah, I loved it back then. But apparently Lizzie had recently

built a roost for the pigeons. And at the time, it was commonly said that she had been devastated by her father actions. But this is disputed heavily. In fact, in Lizzie's retelling of the events during her trial, she was pretty flat and matter of fact about it. She told the lawyers her father had twisted their heads off. It couldn't be sure. That's much nicer. So weird. And she didn't see particularly concerned about the pigeons. How did you have to twist it before it comes off? No, David, it's not like

a sauce bottle. Okay. Yeah, you gotta get a tea towel on it. Get it on the ledge a few tiles from some hot water over at the bottom. Get a rubber glove. Yeah, be that one. What do you do with a rubber glove? It's just a grip. Yeah, it's good grip.

Oh, right. And then check your chart. Check your chart. Yeah. And then, yeah, normally. And then, yeah, normally get it off after that otherwise. Just chuck it away and try another one. Try another pigeon.

But yeah, so some sources kind of made it seem like she was devastated by it, but she didn't actually seem particularly concerned. She kind of referred to them less like pets, more like livestock. You know, they're just like if he'd killed a goat. Yeah, okay, now I get it. I don't know why that was the first animal I thought of.

A unique name, goat killer. So what was her, she was hoping to eat him? No, she, well, she either didn't care about them or saw them as pets, depending on which source. Right. You're talking about... If you're trying pets, depending on which source you're talking about. If you're trying to like deny a reason for killing someone, you would say, I didn't care that he killed my pets. I mean, what?

I think every killed my pet. But, but, but, Not tinsel. Tinssel. I don't know why that's my first name. I love it. Tinssel. Tinney.

Tinney runs into the bath, looking for tinsel. He's twisted tinsel's head right off. Four twists, we all know that's how many it takes. Yeah, how about me and my ball been all pigeons funeral and they do the ceremonial head twist off. One, as a crowd chant along. The twos. Two twists of the head, ceremonially speaking. Three twists of the head and now follow final twist.

There's a little head jobs in a little barrel. Okay, enough. The ceremonial barrel. It's more of a bucket. It says pigeon head. When you're in the future, when you're a cult leading serial killer, this is all going to be used as evidence. Laughing at the dead pigeons. Yeah, goat killer.

I said if, it's just a hypothetical, but it would be wild if it did happen. If I just snapped and did that and then people listening back to this, it must be so eerie. Especially because one of the things you did was eat people's ears. Oh, yuck. Thought that was a good idea. Very chewy. Anywho, based on the inquest statement, it appeared that Andrew didn't kill the pigeons out of Malice towards his daughter. Allegedly, it was just so Abby could make a pigeon pie. But that bit grossed me out. Pigeon pie, yuck.

I guess it's like a chicken pie in a way. It's just a bird, but it's a little... Pigeon pie, sounds better than chicken pie. Pigeon pie. Pigeon pie. Pigeon pie. She's the alliteration that you like. That sounds like a nice sort of pet name for a loved one.

Who's my little pigeon pie? Who's my little for a loved one. There's my little pigeon pie. Oh, who's my little pigeon pie? Who is? Oh, you are. Oh, you are. Oh, you are. Oh, you are. Oh, you are.

Oh, you are. Oh, you are. Oh, you are. Oh, you are. Oh, you are. Oh, you are. Oh, you are. Oh, you are.

Oh, you are. Oh, you are. Oh, you are. Oh, you are. Oh I loved it. I loved seeing that. Thank you for being vulnerable in this space. No worries. Thanks for having me. Oh, pigeon pie. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, One source said they left because of a family argument, but other sources said the sisters were just going on holiday. Don't affirm so. Yeah. It's a lot of this.

There's a lot of, oh, I think it's because of this. Then you'll read somewhere else and it's like, no. But apparently, after returning to For River, a week before the murders, Lizzie chose to stay in a local rooming house for four days before returning to the family residence. So if they had had a fight, she wasn't ready to go home yet. Right, a bit of a holiday detox perhaps. Yeah, after your holiday, I said, I'm going to be in a bloody holiday after my holiday.

My ride? Yes. I am pooped from all that. High Kings. I always go for a walk on a holiday. Like why would I do that? Why would I do that to myself? I mean, big difference between a walk and a hike.

Let's be fairer clear. Yeah, but in some ways. If you can't handle a walk, you cannot handle a hike. Don't tell me what I can, I can't do. That's my motto. That's beautiful, Dave. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In the months leading up to the murders, tensions have been rising in the family. A large part of this was because of Andrew's decision to give to members of Abby's family, houses, or land, but nothing to his daughters. Okay. That doesn't seem cool. Well, after their stepmother's sister received a house, Lizzie and Emma demanded and received a rental property, which was actually the home they'd lived in until their mother had died, which they purchased from their father for $1.

Don't really know why. I sound like it's probably one of those things where it would be like inheritance tax or something, you've got it for free. Right. Yeah. Something like that. But a few weeks before the murders, they sold the property back to their father for $5,000, which is the equivalent of $139,000. Sweet profit. But I don't really understand. I couldn't find anywhere why they would have sold it back or... Well, because they were about to kill him. Were they? Yes. or what because they're about to kill him. Were they? Yes.

No, I don't know, but that's not research as well. That sounds us again. That could have been another inheritance thing. Like he gives you the property for a dollar, then you sell it back to him. So it's not inheritance. It's actually a business thing. Right. So really just keep you on a new view from the end cash. Right.

Maybe. Yeah, who knows? That's the thing. There's so many things in here that sound a bit sus, but also could be totally legit. I reckon the sus is thing so far has been that they were murdered with axes, because that just something about

that doesn't feel quite right feels like a crime occurred. Durekin. Why don't I know for sure? I can't wait't find out. How can your business... Bit of an alarmist over there. I've jumped to a conclusion, sure. Sure.

We've all done that. The night before the murder, John Morse, who is the brother of Lizzie's and Emma's deceased by the Sarah, so their uncle, visited and was invited to stay for a few days to discuss business matters with Andrew. This is an Inspector Morse, I imagine. No, Dave. It's not Inspector Morse. Because when you plan your crime, as I understand, often the detective will arrive and you'll be like, shit, Hercule Poirot is here.

Yeah. I've already planned the murder. The world's greatest detective. It's just happened to be at my lunch. My family's lunch. I'll still do the murder anyway. God, that's true. That's true. I've said it to myself. I've got my family's lunch, I'll still do the murder anyway. God, that's so... I've said it to myself, I've gotta do it this way again.

I've gotta do it. I've been putting it off, I've been putting it off, and now I told a friend, I'm gonna do it to help me account a bulls and now I have to do it. Even though Angela Lansbury is here. Crap. Crap, I mean, she's going home tomorrow, I could just put it on, no, no.

I'll still do a murder. Yeah. Sorry, anyway, non-inspector morse there. Just Uncle John. On August the 2nd, 1892, two days before the murder, Abby and Andrew both woke up feeling quite sick. Abby told her doctor she might have been poisoned. Oh, okay.

A family friend later speculated that mutton left on the stove for use in meals over several days was the cause. This is food poisoning. Uh, pay for electricity and a fridge, mate. Yeah. Get a fridge. You can afford one. Or whatever is the equivalent at the time.

A cold, Hessian sack. Yeah. A meat sack. Yeah. Poshy fucking mutton, a meat sack. What are you doing? What do you do when you get mutton Yeah, a meat sack. What was he fucking mutting a meat sack? It's just like, what are you doing? What do you do when you're mutting out of a meat sack? You leave it on the stove.

Unbelievable. I'd just get someone to go down to Antarctica and bring back some big cubes of ice. That's right. I don't know, any better way to get the ice. Hmm, no. Unfortunately, one of those ice cubes will have a small teddy bear named Bobo, but you know, whatever.

The Thames are break sometimes. Thames are breaks. Great episode. So they've woken up quite sick, and a friend is like, oh, I'm pretty sure it was the meat that they had left out. But the following day, Lizzy was seen trying to buy a Prusik, Prusik acid or hydrogen cyanide. Prusik, Prusik acid? I don't know how to say it. What was she seen to be?

Prusik, I get a chemist. Right. You could buy cyanide at the chemist. Yeah. Which I read in one source she denied, but then later there's some sort of explanation as what you would use it for. So... Did it say, like, you could actually could take it for something? No, you don't take it. It was used for cleaning a seal skin coat or something. Yeah, you know, normal stuff you buy from a chemist. Yeah, so what is that?

It was strange. She tried to buy it, but couldn't. So she didn't have any poison. Right. So it's very odd. Anyway. Okay, but no, I can see how the argument's manning against it. Possibly she poisoned them.

The food thing didn't work properly. Tried to get some cyanide, was denied. She's got to find a third and different way to kill. Yeah. Denied cyanide. Denied. Denied. Which brings us to August 4th, 1892. A good day to die. Oh, that was cool. Hard. So back in action. After breakfast the next morning at which

Andrew Abbey Lizzie, their uncle John, and the maid Bridget, or Maggie, were all present. Andrew and John went to the sitting room where they chatted for nearly an hour. And a little before 9am, John left to buy a pair of oxen, which is a normal thing that you would go and do. Did it? Just couple days ago myself. Yeah, I got to go, that's thank you. I got to add that to my list of things to do tomorrow. I'm having lunch with mum. I was gonna go to office works, I'll swing past, pick up a pair of oxen.

From oxen moorings. Yes. Well, you can take your time because the earth is slow, but the ox is patient. That's a... What's your real killer? Is that rhyme about? Um... Was that a lyric from a song?

No, that was it. So I think it might be a proverb that an old AFL coach said one time. And the AFL media was like, what is this guy like? So I became an infamous... What? He's quite eccentric, isn't he? It's like, it's quite eccentric isn't it? So, character. Ooh!

Anyway, so John's off to buy some oxen and visit his niece who lived relatively close by and he planned to return to the house for lunch around noon. Around the same time that John left Andrew went for his morning walk sometime, a bit after 9am. Somewhere between 9am and 10am, Abby went upstairs to make

the bid. I like to think it took her an hour and a half. She took the full hour and a half. It does take a while when you do it by yourself, though. Yeah, and also, back in, if you're a maid back in those, as imagine, you're properly making it. You got the under sheet, the top sheet, all that, all the thought works. So two sheets is what you do. But you know, like when the works. When you're staying at a hotel, they tuck the shit out of that thing. Yeah, you can't get in or out of that thing. I'm imagining that that's what she's doing.

Possible corners, yeah. 100%. Probably even sort of like stitching a new mattress. She just does it from scratch every day in new bed. Yeah, she's making a new bed. She's making like a tail animal. Swann or monkey or something. Obviously, she's putting rose petals on it.

She's really putting in the time. That's abbie for you. One time I stayed at a place and my sunglasses were on the bedside table and they made a pig out of a tail and put the sunglasses on the pig. Oh, they would have laughed around. Yeah.

Look, they took a photo with us and put each other the rest of the day. That's really funny. That's some of our best work. You should have tipped him, I reckon. That's a good bit. That was time they put lipstick on it. Yeah.

It's ruining the town. You're just going through your stuff, finding props for the town. The pig is like crossing its teeth with your toothbrush. You're like, I don't know. I only feel comfortable when you're touching that. Why did you, that was in a bag. You had to unzip them. You went through my stuff.

Anyway, so Abby's making the bed upstairs. Andrew returned home around 1030. He struggled open the front door so he knocked to get someone's attention and Bridget hurt him and she let him in. All of this is pretty innocuous so far. Lizzie stated that she had then removed Andrew's boots, helped him into his slippers before he laid down on the sofa for a nap. Okay.

It's only like 10 a.m. 1030, but he needs a nap. Gosh. Can relate. Love a nap. Oh, love a nap. So now who's in the house? You got Abby made two names upstairs. Made two names.

Now I'll get to where Bridget goes from here. Okay, cool. Lizzie told, this is weird. Lizzie told Bridget about a sale at a department store and gave her permission to go, but Bridget didn't feel well, so she went to lie down. Seems like a weird...

So she's trying to get rid of Lizzy. Maybe. Maybe. So she's having a lot of fun. She's just being nice and saying, hey, it's pretty quiet. Everything seems pretty under control here. And there's a sale if you want to go.

Just letting you know. Right, good to see you. Could have been that too. She asked us to now the couple are both having maps. So no, Abbie's, well, she went up step, okay, I'll tell you where Abbie's gone. Around 11.10 a.m., Bridget heard Lizzie call from downstairs, Maggie, which is Bridget. Come quick, father's dead. Someone came in and killed him.

Andrew was slumped on a couch in the downstairs sitting in a room, struck 10 or 11 times with a hatchet-like weapon. His wounds were still bleeding, leading detectives to estimate his death to have occurred approximately 11 a.m. So 10 minutes before Abby Lizzie had called out. And I won't detail too much about his wounds, but let's just say they were real bad, like face cave didn't kinda bad.

Right, so he's already very dead. He's super dead. Yeah. He's super, super dead. Like face cave didn't did. So the people who say Lizzie did it, say that she did it and then went somewhere and counted it 10 minutes and they went,

oh no! Oh, what? Come quick, come quickly. Father is dead. out of the 10 minutes and they went, oh no! Come quickly! Father is dead. Someone has come and killed father. That seems like a strange thing to say, but. It's a different time, two days. Let's remember their language,

their vernacular, different to ours. Also, it's in the US, we're Australian. Maybe they speak different. So we'll be like, Struth, the prick's been killed. Oh no! Just be that. Is this in Massachusetts? Yep.

We've got that again, I'm saying it now. Are we gonna go up two thirds the way through that phone? It was just that final third got me. Yeah. Massa Tutsits. Eh? No.

No. Tutsits. Massa Tutsits. No. No. Not chute. Massa. Chute sits. Chute sits. Massa chute sits. Nice. I like how I say that.

Me too. It's more fun. Yeah. Massa chute sits. Yeah, that's good. And it's different every time too. That was a new one. It's unpredictable.

I'm like on a buck and bronca. I can't hold on to that word. Woo! Okay, so they found Andrew dead. And despite the go, the room was in order. This is a quote from, I believe the police. The room was in order. There was no sign of a scuffle of any kind. So everything else around it, totally fine.

Maggie, two names cleaned it up. So everything else around it, totally fine. Maggie, two names, clean it up. She's very good. She is good. She's efficient as you just like, even in shock, she just knows like, I just got clean. She just goes into like, survival mode and surviving is cleaning.

Some people do go and like, do the dishes, you know, in shock, shock can make you do weird things. So I guess that would make sense too. Yeah, she put sunglasses on He's caved in face That's a shock thing It's what he would have wanted he hated to look cool He hated the glare and he liked looking cool grief makes people hacked in mysterious ways Yeah, or hack in mysterious. Oh just no to soon. Please no

Seriously. Oh, Jess. No too soon. Please. No. Come on. No. There's one thing to put sunglasses on his cave. But they've stopped saying that again. Please. Well, which part? Sunglasses. I apologize. Can you can you do a Massachusetts accent? It's like John F. Kennedy, right? He's Massachusetts, right? Boston's Massachusetts. Yeah. I've said it. Boston, Massachusetts have said it. What do Boston accent? Car. Car keys. They don't roll their arles like the rest of America, I believe. It's a software car. It's like a cock-a-sus. Car instead of car. Yeah, car. Same we say car.

Yeah, we do. So Massachusetts, back then... Oh, you say broom-brum, but you know, other Australia say car. Let's get the broom-brum. You're gonna go on a bronchentogreau. That's a freeway. Bronchentogreau. Is that... what is that, not normal?

No, you're great. We say car. Never change. Do we say car? We say car, right? We say car. We say car. I'm sure we say car.

In South America, they say caro. What? That's wild. Is it so similar? In Spain, it's coche, but in South America, what makes it go? Let me say coche, there's a cuddle. I like it. Well, it's a mad subrumbrum.

And we're all different. It's beautiful. But we are one. We are many. And from all the lands on Earth, we came. We share a dream. And sing with one voice. I am you. We are Australian. Wow. Sing a tear. Sing a tear. Multiple tears from my. My child. Okay. He's

charged dripping. Cry now. I'm so confused. I can't go picture what it is. I don't know. I don't think he knows. Where confused? Imagine what the listeners are going through. It's right next to the chuff. And then a little bit down. OK. Now you have to go into it. You said you can't.

Well, for legal reasons. For legal reasons, you can't chat the chat. The chat will not be chotted. It's so confusing. OK. All right, so we have a dead man with sunglasses on these face. Dead men. Chat will not be charded. It is so confusing. Okay. All right, so we have a dead man with sunglasses on his face. Dead man. Lizzie claims that she'd been sitting in the barn loft, eating pears and looking out the

window. Pears of pigeons? That is a great alibi. I was out in the barn. Well, I would make up that I was eating pears looking out a window. I love her, yeah, compounding lie. You go, oh, where were you at the time? I was looking out the window, up in the top of the barn.

Eating pears. Yeah, that's right. I was wearing a hat. That hat, where's that hat now? I don't know. It's gone. Pears aren't invented yet. I don't know.

Oh my God. I didn't do it. Here's the ax I killed him with. What's it made? I'm gonna sweep to my lawyer. And see. Yeah, that's for Badam. Hell, this went.

So I'm just gonna skip ahead. She said that she went to the barn to find weights for her fishing lines because she was planning on taking a trip the following Monday. That is a compounding line. Yeah. During the inquest, she was questioned about these idle moments and she insisted that she spent 15 to 20 minutes in the loft. But police went in there later and found it so stiflingly hot in there because this is

a really hot day. It was so grossly hot in there that like nobody would have just chilled out in here. Maybe she was shedding it. Shredding. Oh, you're right, sauna. She was trill. Like a sauna. Yeah.

What? Good of being. Is that a boston in that sauna? Yeah, a boston in say sauna. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sourna. Sourna. Yeah. You're saying sauna. Yeah. Yeah. sauna.

sauna. Yeah. You're saying sauna like sauna. It's a hot room. Yeah. It's a sauna. Why are you? This is like honey.

I mean, that's honey. He's not from Bustone. Yeah, to the sauna. But I reckon he would have used a few sounders in his day. Yeah, I reckon. Not a tumor. It's a sauna. It's a sauna. That It's a sounder.

That's quite good, isn't it? That's real good. I haven't heard an any impersonation since the 80s. Thank you so much. I think it was a little something like this. It was your daddy and what does he do? The sentence is the best one. You know, I have a lot of weird thoughts.

I think what if Mr. T and E T had a son? I think it was a little something like this. I pity the fool who does not phone home. Then they start clapping and he does the, uh, give me more, give me more. That's a random wolf castle, isn't it? No, that's just a, um, Homer's trying to avoid watching the news

because he's being accused of a scandal. So he's like, oh, I'll watch a note at the improv. They never talk about anything plus the 80s. But, that's a great saying. The run is a good parody. But Rayna Wolf Castle did do stand up. I'll stand up, yeah, that's right. Anyway.

This is great, because when I was writing this report, I was so worried that it would be very dry But so far we've not taken this murder seriously at all And I just don't feel sorry for Andrew at all. He sounded like a bit of a dick. I am and I'm weird about like the ones in The distant past yeah, somehow I'm able to put more distance you imagine it in black and white Yeah, I'm it's just not a real this is an as old as some like the blood canter or something, but it is still so long ago. Yeah, which is, it's weird that I'm able to do that, but you put an

18 or smaller in front of the year. Yeah. And one day people will laugh at our murder. So hope so. And then I'll listen to this and be like, well, they predicted it. Well, it comes full circle. It's beautiful. And we deserve it. Anyway, I'm, I'm not in that way. It was about Jess and Dave. It was a royal way. Yeah.

You're talking about committing queen aside? No. What's it called? David Kingaside. Regicide. Regicide. That's when you kill Reg. For what happened when you kill the queen?

What do you call a queen and her name is Ridge? Oh, okay. Very difficult. Love that. Love the queen. Queen Ridge. It sounds like what's the Ralph that John Candy. Yeah, Ralph King Ralph.

Not John Candy. Good men. John Goodman, yeah. That was on TV the gym the other day. Anyway. I can't help it. No, this is only one dead person so far. Why must you always jump ahead?

I must continue the killing. Well initially Lizzie reported hearing, when she came back into the house, she reported hearing a groan or a scraping noise or a dress call when she came back into the house. She reported hearing a groan or scraping noise or just Dress call when she walked in and that's what alerted her to her father. All right, because she reported it to the mate But two hours later she told police she heard nothing and she entered the house not realizing that anything was wrong Mm-hmm And when asked where her stepmother was she recalled that Abby had received a note asking her to visit a sick friend.

So she's like, oh, she went out. She also stated that she thought Abby had probably returned by now and asked if someone could go upstairs and look for her. So Bridget and a neighbor called Mrs. Churchill went upstairs and when they looked into the guest room, they saw Abby lying face down on the floor. Are you happy there's a second dead person?

Very. Very. Okay. Investigators found Abby's body cold, while Andrews had been discovered warm, so that indicated that Abby was killed earlier, probably at least 90 minutes earlier than her husband. Initial speculation as to the identity of the murder, centered on a Portuguese laborer,

apparently who had visited the board and home earlier in the morning and asked for the wages due him, only to be told by Andrew Bourdon that he had no money and to call later. And this story added that medical evidence suggests that Abbey Bourdon was killed by a tall man who struck the woman from behind. They also kind of assumed that a woman couldn't have done this. That was all through. They're like, well, it couldn't have been Lizzy. She's a girl.

And how old is Lizzy at this time? She's like, this is in night. She's like 30. Oh, okay. She's not mine. I'm imagining she's a teenage. No, I'm not even not 30. She might be, she was born in 1892 and she was born in 1860. Yeah, she's 32. Right, okay, cool, cool. And so that means her sister's 42, like, yeah, she's 10 years old up. So they're fully grown. Yeah, right.

In my mind, for some reason, I thought the story that she was 12 or something. Yeah. That's why it's a bit like, oh, God. I thought that was, yeah, because it's the kids, it's the kids rhyme. I think I did the same thing in my head for some reason I pictured kids rhyme about a kid. Yeah, and then you'd be like, I would doubt that, you know, obviously possible, but the 12 year old you'd be a bit more like, oh really?

But 32 year old woman could have done it. Yeah, but you're speaking from a 2019 progressive man perspective. That's right. So you know, I could beat the shit out of you if I wanted to. I know it. And I fear it. Good. But.

Yeah, you definitely could. 100%. You've been bragging all day about how strong you are. I am so strong. All day. I'm so strong. Second I got here, you were like, hey, Jess, how are you? And I was like, fucking strong.

Yeah. Bro, do you want to arm wrestle? And you were like, now can we just do a podcast? I was like, yeah, okay. Weat. And you call me a pussy? Yeah, I did call it a pussy. Which I'm like, that's an old just do a podcast? I was like, yeah, okay. Weathe. And you call me a pussy? Yeah, I did call you a pussy. Which I'm like, that's an old school.

Call you a pussy ass bitch. Yeah, like, oh, darn. Yeah. I don't know, that's since the 80s. I know, but then I call you my little pigeon bike. Who's my little pigeon bike? It was a roller coaster. Yeah, I am a roller coaster.

I need help. Anyway. So, yeah, they thought, well, it must have been this man who'd come in by earlier in the day. Most of the officers who interviewed Luzzi reported that they disliked her attitude. Some said she was too calm. Right. And very poised. You're right a note of that.

No, do not like the attitude. Yeah, don't like the attitude. It sounds like a disapproving mum. Don't like that attitude. Simon. Put it away, Simon. No, PS4 tonight. Hmm.

What'd you attitude? Yeah, it's a funny one. Yeah, is this in a time before people knew that everyone grieves differently? Yeah, they hadn't figured out grief by then. Or shock. Or shock. Yeah. Yeah, I would imagine that if she'd do it,

she'd do like, what the hell has just happened? Yeah. She'd be like, WTF? Yeah. That was Massachusetts accent. A chain. That's how they say it up there. I love it up there, or down there, wherever it is.

You know, I go for the Boston Celtics. Do you? Yeah, which I think they call chill picks. They definitely don't. They definitely don't. Good you put that in otherwise you would get so many tweets. So despite Lizzie's attitude and her changed alibis, nobody bothered to check her for blood stains.

Feels like an obvious one, but nobody checked. They did search her room, but it wasn't a proper look. It wasn't very thorough. They just kind of had a little ground. Open the door. Bit of a squeeze. Like, it's in here. Up. Just a bedroom. Carry on. At the trial, they admitted to not doing a proper search

because Lizzie was not feeling well. Yeah. Which again, shock, grief, fair enough. Or high-need crime. Yeah, maybe she's a genius. well, which again shock grief fair enough. Or honeycrown. Yeah, maybe she's a genius. They were subsequently criticized for their lack of diligence, which I think is quite fair. In the basement, police found two hatchets, two axes, and a hatchet head with a broken

handle. And the hatchet head was suspected of being the murder weapon as the break in the handle appeared fresh. Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution, and that's what makes NUME different. NUME uses science and personalization to help you manage your weight for the long-term. Their psychology-based approach helps you build better habits and behaviors that are easier to maintain. The best part? You decide how noom fits into your life, not the other way around.

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Go to mycomputercareer.edu and take the free career evaluation. You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus, and financial aid is available to qualified students, including the GI Bill. Now is the time. Mycomputercareer.edu. And the ash and dust on the head of it, unlike the others or other tools around it, appeared to have been deliberately applied to make it look as if it had been in the basement for a long time.

Kind of like, well, it's looking to, like it's still in its plastic packaging, and you're like, oh, I'll probably take it out and dust it up a bit. However, please didn't remove these items from the house to inspect them further. Again. Because Lizzie didn't feel well. Yeah, it's not a feel-out. Oh, that's my comfort hat-gird. Can you not?

I don't feel well. I can't plan your wax. I can't sleep without my eggs. And they're like, oh, your attitude sucks. That's all that right. Well, speaking of not feeling well, remember how the family had been feeling a bit sick in the days lady after?

Oh, a bit of a mutton poisoning. Well, the milk, the milk in the house, like the family's milk. What was it? Milk somebody does. That felt weird. The family's milk. I've never thought about that.

It's not weird to have milk that the family uses, but to call it the family's milk. I've never thought about that. It's not weird to have milk that the family uses, but to call it the family's milk sounds so weird. It doesn't make it sound like everyone's got their nipples out over it. It's never a big fat. How about everyone? Milk in time. I've never thought about that. Well, I mean, where's the milk?

It's just milk. It's the milk. Yeah, not the family milk. I've never thought of this phrase that no one's ever said before right now. I've never had the milk. The family milk. Can we just say the milk? No.

Who's milk is it? The families. Oh, family milk, yeah. Now I'm with you. It was tested for poison and so were Andrew and Abby's stomachs, which removed during autopsy's. Apparently the autopsy's were done in the boredom family dining room. Oh That's fucked

Anyway, so they were tested for poison. Nothing was found. They're all clean. There's no poison. Oh, no poison in the family milk But none in the family stomachs Nothing in the family stomachs Oh, but we've got one big tum That is knocked down the family stomachs. Communal. Communal stomachs. Oh, but we've got one big tummy. That is knocked down the stomach walls. What did I plant? It's two family stomach. Connected by some Fritterses.

But see you, Sophomius. Yeah, but unfortunately you had to walk through someone else's intestines to get to the bow. Oh. Intest intestines are really long. We're walking for a while. You can wrap them around the world six times. One person's intestine. That's right. That's not true.

Okay, prove it. There's only five times. That exaggerates for humor. Six is a funny and unborn. Yeah. Thank you for exaggerating. No worries. So there's a couple of things here that are like contradictory evidence. So, contradict things I've already said. In that excited. Oh, unreliable narrator. Like it. Maybe. Well, maybe I'm just being a bit cheeky.

And I was like, here, think one thing. Boom, here's another. Oh, wow. That idea, I put it in your mind. Yeah, bitch. You'll think what I want you to think. Okay, what do you want me to think? I've got an open mind about this. Good, but I'm going to close it. Oh, I'm going to close your chuff. Oh, no, leave your chart open. Thank God. When God closes a chuff. He opens a child. Oh, if you close the child, I will suffer. He's confused. Now he breaks through. He's like a wind tunnel or something. Oh, it's a tunnel.

Are you a different species? Dave, what are you? A very special boy. Imagine Mr. T. I think it's a little something. I like this. You are a very special boy. You know, I have a lot of weird thoughts.

I love that it's not a good thing. That's a weird thought. Alright, so some of the contradictory evidence. So when Bridger went to unlock the door when Andrew got home, he couldn't get his key wasn't working, he couldn't get the door up and he's like, ah! Some of them in. Bridger went to unlock the door. It, it was jammed, and apparently she added a swear word.

Oh, which one? I don't know. Damn. Yeah, that's probably damn. Drat this door. She would let it testify that she heard Lizzie laughing immediately after this. Because of the swear?

Yeah, she was kind of like, my Bridget, you know? He said, it's where, which we all do. She didn't see Lizzie, but she stated that laughter was coming from the top of the stairs. This was considered significant as Abby was already dead by this time, and her body would have been visible to anyone on the second floor. So if you're already at the top of the stairs, you can, you can see Abby dead there. Obviously, I forgot through the bedroom to get to the stairs. Yeah, I'm not really so confusing, but yeah. Yeah, okay, right.

And then obviously you would alert someone if you saw your dead stepmother. You think so. But Lizzie let her denied being upstairs. She testified that her father had asked her where Abby was. And this is when she told her about the note for to go visit a sick friend. And then she said that she helped take

her father's boots off before we lay them for a nap. But the crime scene photos show Andrew was wearing his boots. Oh my goodness, he put them back on for a nap. That's strange. Do you think he did it? Yeah, that doesn't add up. Yeah, probably.

Oh, it does seem like she did it. My dad always has shoes on. What? Yeah, he's never barefoot. Even in bed. Even in bed. Wow. Really?

No, that bit's not true. But like, so just round the head. Probably in bed and in the shower. Are we talking to the shoeless? For the shoeless. Sometimes or is it always like that? It's got mokkeys, yeah. Oh, that's nice then, that's right.

Thongs? No. He'll never wear thongs. Doesn't have thongs. Does he have funny feet? No, he's got like sandals he'll wear in summer. Can you do Velcro on him? Dad sandals. I reckon he did.

Dandals. You're blaming John. He's sounding very suss. I think you're right. Anyway, I don't know why I thought of that. Maybe because boot, like wearing boots for a nap. Right, so she said, I took his boots off for a nap. But then photos, he's got boots on. Okay, that doesn't add like wearing boots for a night. Right, so she said, I took his boots off for a night,

but then photos, he's got boots on. Okay, that doesn't add up either. It doesn't. So in the days that followed, Lizzie and Emma's friend, Alice Russell decided to stay with them the night following the murders. I don't know why you'd voluntarily stay in a murder house, but maybe she was trying to be a good friend.

You go and stay with a friend rather than have the friend come into the murder house. Yeah, it comes to me at my house. Especially when there's like an open surgery in the dining room. Yeah, the dining room. Dice-secing your dad in the dining room. Very gross. That's fun sentence though.

Dice-secing your dad in the dining room. Oh, that's good. Yeah, that is fun. No, actually it wasn't that fun. No, you think about the words. Dice-secing your dad. Yeah, that's fun. In the dining room.

Yeah, room just ruins it. Dining... Diggs. Dining Diggs. By sifting dead dad in the dining Diggs. That's fun. That's fun. We didn't know.

Don't think about what you were saying. No, but it's fun. Yeah. There were police stations around the house. And one of them... They got police stationed around the house. And one of the- They got police stations around the house. It seemed a bit drastic. Yeah, yeah, an expensive. Oh, so now you'll spend money.

Yeah, yeah, strange. Oh, so yeah. One time, six months, building these pretty brick and mortar. Training more cops. Oh my goodness. Unbelievable. Yeah. Wasted taxpayer money.

So the police station around the house and an officer claimed to have seen Lizzie. See, this is another thing where it's like it looks so sass, but it could also be completely innocent. So he claims to have seen Lizzie enter the cellar with Alice carrying a carousine lamp and a sloped pale. He stated he saw both women exit the cellar after which Lizzie returned alone.

Though he was unable to see what she was doing, he stated it appeared she was bent over the sink. And this is after the crimes under police officers all this. Yeah, right. But it's like, the way it's written is almost like it's implying. She's cleaning?

She's cleaning up like evidence. Just like evidence. The maid was in on it. That wasn't the maid. But that was Alice, the friend. Oh, the friend, the friend's in on it. Maybe. But also she could have just been cleaning.

You know? Yeah, it's a weird one. I mean, if you saw it like she had like blood on it on something, you'd be like, it's sus, but and she was going ding dong the witch is dead. They'd be like, oh, did she, did she deny that that happened later? No, I mean, she wasn't doing anything wrong there. She was just carrying the stuff about it day. Yeah. You just thought that was noteworthy. So the next day, their uncle John left the house and was swarmed by people who had gathered outside the house having heard what happened. Apparently, there was like hundreds of people. It was, it was huge news. We've talked about this

before back then. That was just not a lot to do. I'm just going to go down to the murder house. And just hang around outside. So odd. Yeah, we're bored. Let's go to the board. So odd. Ha. So on the 6th of August, police conducted a more thorough search of the house, inspecting the sisters clothing and confiscating the broken, handled, hatchet head. Broken handled hatchet head. Yeah, that's fun to say.

That evening, a police officer and the mayor visited the boardens and Lizzie was informed that she was a suspect in the murders. Did the mayor break it to her? I reckon. Probably. Guys, can I say this one? Feels like something he should do. You're under arrest, Lizzie. His robes and everything. The next morning, Alice entered the kitchen to find Lizzie

tearing up a dress. Lizzie explained up a dress. Lizzie explained that she was planning to put it on the fire because it was covered in paint. Red paint. Okay. Dead paint. It was never determined whether or not it was the dress she had been wearing on the day of the murders.

Weird though, right? But again, it looks like she's destroying evidence. She could also just be getting rid of a dress that's covered in paint, there is a chance, but she's been told she's been arrested. I know, but shock! Yeah, that's same like a weird thing to do. Totally.

Oh, this dress has been destroyed by paint, so I'm gonna chop it up and burn it. Very odd. Why weren't, yeah, this seems a bit weird. It's a bit weird. Yeah, I mean, but, yeah, it's just very strange. Yeah. An inquest occurred a couple of days later on the 8th of August, and Lizzie appeared and provided her testimony.

Apparently, she'd been incredibly nervous in the lead up to the inquest, and so it had been dosed up with Malfine, which is always a good idea, which could have influenced her behaviour, because she was very erratic. She often refused to answer a question even if the answer would be beneficial to her. She often contradicted herself and provided alternating accounts of the morning question, such as claiming to have been in the kitchen, reading a magazine, when her father arrived home, then claiming to have been in the dining room, doing some mining, then claiming to have been coming downstairs. Right, but she was high as a cut.

Yes, she was on a lot of morphine. And she also said she wasn't upstairs. Yeah, but now she's saying I was upstairs. I was just coming downstairs. But if she had been coming downstairs, she would have seen Abby. Right. So...

Yeah, it seemed me very sussed. Yeah, and so that's why a few days later, she was served with a warrant and arrested and jailed She was in jail for 10 months before her trial began in June of 1893 Five days before the trials commence commencement On the first of June another axe murder occurred in Fall River in their town Josh this time the victim was Bertha Manchester. That's a water fantastic name.

Who was found hacks to death in their kitchen. And the similarities between the Manchester and the Borden's murders were very striking and the jurors noted them. However, a... Parchee. Sorry. Sorry. Convulsions. Sorry, I was trying to hold it at the top.

Sorry, I was trying to be less distracting and I made it worse. What are you talking about? I hate that, that's a worst. Like, head is about to explode and there's an alien going to come out of you. I didn't accidentally swallowed half a cherry tomato today with that chewiness. I can still feel it. That is my worst nightmare. It just is no good. It just fits scratchy there. Do just, it's scratchy there.

Mm. Do you think it's, do you think it's still stuck there? Yeah, or it's just whatever the damage. A bit of it. Yeah, maybe it's the, it's just pushed. But it's just like, yeah, it just feels no good. Yeah. Anyway, fun fact.

However, a Portuguese immigrant by the name of Jose Carrera Damello, who's later convicted of Manchester's murder, and it was determined to not have been the vicinity he was determined to not have been in the area at the time of the board and murders. So it wasn't the same person. Right, so another Portuguese, is this a separate Portuguese? Yeah. They're really pinning stuff on the Portuguese. Yeah. Margaret workers. I mean, there is a possibility they both are murderers, but.

So that yeah, that's making it sound like someone else did both. And if he wasn't in the vicinity, then maybe he didn't do either. Yeah, and Lizzie couldn't have done the second one because she's in jail. It's very odd. It's that, yeah. It's out that similar. So during the trial, there was a lot of discussion around the hatchet head that was found in the basement, though it wasn't convincingly demonstrated by the prosecution to be the

murder weapon. Prosecutors argued that the killer had removed the handle because it would have been covered in blood. Would the hatchet head not also have been covered in blood? I guess it's easy to clean metal than wood, but if it got into the wood grain, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Sounds like a killer's talking over there.

I said too much. You certainly know, I'm not a lot of bad people. Sorry, I was coming down the stairs. I mean, I was never upstairs. Where were you? I was putting shoes on my dad. My you? I was putting shoes on my dad my dad putting shoes on my dad Oh panics was it in a pair

Pissed bit of it yet. Oh no pigeon pie Yeah, I'm just trying to flirt with you now a little pigeon pie Sorry officer. Yeah, no you're right. Yeah, we didn't like your attitude. There were no bloody clothing was found at the scene. Alice, no, bloody, bloody, bloody, would you bloody believe it? So yeah, Alice brought up this, she testified and she brought up the story of Lizzie burning the dress on the kitchen stove During the course of the trial defense never attempted to challenge this claim They never were like no, it was just a dress covered in paint. Oh, they just Defended it all I know like I think defense is very good. I don't think we should bother answering these questions

So you don't worry about it. Yeah, can we just wrap it up? Can you get to the end? Can we get to the guilty or whatever charge it is? Either or whatever. Whatever. Yeah, good other things to do. Lizzie's worry about swirls. So strongly contested. She'd claim to have been in the barn for 15 to 20 minutes,

like we talked about before. Well, there hasn't been a person in that barn for 50 years. I know that's your bed, but. Well, there hasn't been a person in this here, bound for nearly seven or five years. It is a fun bit. Yeah. Oh, fine.

Barn definitely works in the world. Yeah, it does. Good pick up there. But Bridgett had said she'd gone upstairs at 10.58 and left Lizzie and her father downstairs. Right? But yet Lizzie called her, because her father was dead at 11.10.

That's like 12 minutes later. So that- She didn't have time to go out to the barn. Have some hair. Hang out for 15 to 20 minutes. Then come back and be like, oh, dad's dead. Ah, I was just taking his boots off. Yeah, weird, I wasn't expecting that. To be fair though, I never have a very good idea

of like how long I've been doing something. Especially if you're just running around doing 15 minutes of nothing much, yeah. And what would you, yeah, it would be. It feels like if you're making it up, you'd be like, I left at exactly 11. I'd be like, I don't know, around 11 is shut, I don't know. Yeah, and also on those cup movies,

the kids are watching, they're no realism in this bullshit. No, they always like, I said, where were you on June 26th last year? And they're like a few minutes later, like, you know, they're like, oh, I was doing this. June 26th, I couldn't tell you what I was doing two days ago.

Yeah, I'll be like, I'll be like, I'll be peeing. I was at work. Yeah. Oh, then yeah, that was an overcast day. Yeah. Yeah, we got a big delivery that day. Yeah. But Jimmy wasn't in for some reason.

I had to unpack the whole load myself. Yeah, I was furious at him. Till I found out he was the murderer. Wait, I wasn't meant to say that. Anyway, I hope you haven't a good one. Oh, I don't know what I was doing last Monday. It feels like that because the weird thing about those scenes are that they always find they don't know for two or three seconds and then go.

Yes, because it because normally it is because a big thing happens. Do you reckon if the police were asking me, could I be like, can I please look at my Google calendar? I have no idea. If I have a look at my calendar, it might give me an idea of what I was doing. I think that would be okay. Surely. I think it'd be more sociable. I was like, I was at the gym and then a coffee with a friend. It feels like you'd be like, oh, you're probably asking because of that murder. That's done happen around that time last year. I'm assuming you mean the day of the murder.

Is that what you're asking about? Yeah, well, I know that day, because I, you know, I heard about the murder that day. So I remember where I was that day. I was murdering. Oh no! Oh no! I meant shopping. Just sitting in the Google Docs one till two killed dad put boots on. No, so why I put

that in the Google cannot remember what that was in reference to. Not sure. I'd have to ask dad, but he's dead. Yeah, someone kill him on that day. How you knew about that? Well, it travels fast around this path. Anyway, so this is gross. Both victims' heads had been removed during autopsy and the skulls were admitted as evidence during the trial. Do they make a talk? Oh, mom!

I didn't get what Lizzie! Lizzie, when she saw them, I can't be brought into the courtroom. She fainted. And I don't blame it. That's gross. Yeah, the heads of the the skulls of the people she killed, that would be distressing. Imagine that they're also not like that whole are they? Like a healer later. And I also like this a bit smashed. Right. A bit smashed here.

Yeah, that sucks. You know, what's the, that sucks. What was they trying to prove? Not sure, maybe just like the... Just trying to maybe... I don't know. Just freak your out. Get a reaction. What's weird is that, you know, how she was, she tried to purchase cyanide.

Yeah. Apparently for cleaning a seal skin cloak, as we talked about. The judge ruled that as to remote in time to have any connection. It was literally the day before and he was like, nah, that can't be connected. Right. Which seems weird. I think the judge was the in on it.

I reckon the judge did it. Wait, then you'd want her to go down for it. But that's what you'd want. Everyone. Yeah. Oh, wow. Lacks, judge. After an hour and a half of deliberation, the jury acquitted Lizzie of the murders. Not long to deliberate something that complicated. Yeah, and it seems, yeah. Leaving the court house, she told reporters she was the happiest woman in the world.

Okay, will your dad still did, bit of respect, bit of an attack wouldn't kill you. Did the jury say, yeah, we thought about it, but she's a woman. I don't look. I don't even know. Yes. Why are we here?

Could you say at first, I was like, we didn't even think about it, but within not a lot of time, they were charging us, so something changed. Yeah, but I'm sure, I think it probably did come up in the trial that it was like, well, how could a small woman?

And also, there was something about, I don't have it written down, but a quote was something to do with how she'd never really done anything nasty or mean. So it was so out of character. And also, she's not Portuguese. Yeah. How could she have done it? She couldn't have that And there's one article that was basically saying it was her feminine in the that like that

Got her off. Yeah, because they were like, but look at her. She's so sweet and dangerous. No way. She could have done it I really got her off that I knew that. Yeah, I know and I tried to think of a different way to say it And I was like I can't sorry. I apologize knew that. Sorry. I know and I tried to think of a different way to say it and I was like, I can't. Sorry, I apologize for that. No, no, you're not. You're getting someone off. No, you were right. You're up, Bob. I should not have got anyone off in that case. Thank you. And yeah, please add it out. And although she was acquitted, Lizzie remains the prime suspect in her father and stepmother's murders. Now, a couple of theories. I'm nearly done. Couple of theories.

There's a writer called Victoria Lincoln, and in 1967, she proposed that Lizzie may have committed the murders while in a psychotic state, basically. Oh, a fugue state. Love that word. Love it. Love it. I had to look up how to pronounce it because I didn't want to fuck it up. And then I got to it and I panicked a fugue state.

Yes. Like a dissociative disorder. It's just a fantastic word. Yeah. It's psychiatric disorder characterized by reversible amnesia of personal identity, including memories, personality, other identifying characteristics. These sorts of states can last days, months, long time. They often brought on by trauma, is that a thing?

Yeah. But what's your really traumatized by the family? This is a theory, nearly... How fresh does the trauma have to be? Because I mean, a mum died when she was two. Yeah, and now she's 32. All right. It's adding up.

Yeah, it does make sense. Is it possible? Numbers. Is there a 30-year fugue delay? I hope so. A few gone, a few gone, come. Coming up to 30. Hit me.

Another prominent theory suggested that Lizzie was physically and or sexually abused by a father, which drove her to murder him. Right. That would cause a fugue. But there's very little evidence. And even in letters, Lizzie said she had a pretty good relationship with her dad, really liked her dad. So that's not great. But also then, I think when, you know, when people have a theory and they'll just find anything they possibly can to support their theory, people would then say, yeah, but incest was and a theory and they'll just find anything they possibly can to support their theory People would then say yeah, but in says it wasn't a thing that they would have discussed at the time So that never would have come up in any type of a good nobody would have known Yeah, that's why I think it was an alien because aliens aren't a thing they would have talked about exactly

Did you ever mention an alien? I don't think so I read all our letters And they're even like the type of methods for collecting physical evidence was different back then, so we will never know. But I reckon it's like, ooh, bit of a fast stretch there. But even like some of the local papers kind of hinted at that a little bit at the time of the murder. And they do that. I don't know.

Winking. Yeah, binnudge nudge. There's a mystery author called Ed McBain. Good name. Good name. And he wrote a novel in 1984 titled Lizzie. And it suggests that Lizzie committed the murders after being caught in a lesbian trist with Bridget.

Fifteen years after he wrote his book, he elaborated on his theory in an interview in 1999. I'm so glad they asked him to elaborate. He speculated that Abby had caught Lizzy and Bridget together and had reacted with horror and disgust. Is that a sister? What? No, a friend. The maid.

Oh, sorry. The maid's got too many names. Yes. I've only referred to her as Bridget. But still. Once she was Maggie. She's Bridget. There's been a few names in this.

Yeah, anyways. Bridget's the maid. Wait, who's Bridget. There's been a few names in this. Yeah, anyways. Bridget's the maid. Where is the friend? Alex. Can the maid's be friends? No. Okay. But I can't be lovers.

Right. How can we be lovers if you're still my maid? That's beautiful. So he's speculated that Abbey had caught them them together had reacted with horror and disgust and the Lizzie had killed Abby with a candlestick. And when Andrew returned home, she'd convinced confess to her dad, but he also reacted with disgust so she killed him in a rage with a hatchet. In her later years, Lizzie was rumored to be a lesbian and there was a film called Lizzie

that came out last year that focuses very heavily on that plot line, and even basically frames Bridget as an accomplice. But there was no such speculation about Bridget, who found other employment after the murders, and later married a man she met while working as a maid. But she died in 1948, where she allegedly gave a deathbed confession to her sister, stating that she'd changed her testimony on the stand in order to protect Lizzie. What does that mean? Oh. So I don't, I obviously haven't read his book, but it does seem to be like a man. It's a bad fiction.

It's a bad fiction. It has seen, oh, she may have been a lesbian. Well, let me say what could have happened. Yeah. It feels really far-fetched. has seen, oh, she may have been a lesbian. Well, let me say what could have happened. Yeah, it feels really far-fit. It's like there's no evidence of this happening, but this could have happened. Yeah.

And then the candlestick, it's like, okay. Yeah. And then she told, she must have told her dad, but then her dad must have been like, nah, I don't accept that. So she got raged and killed. And he keeps going and he keeps looking up. Like, and people are still listening.

Oh yeah, and that. And that um, yeah, yeah. Well, I've got to finish somewhere. It's a little bit odd. Emma, the sister, she had nullified. She was in Fairhaven, which is about 15 miles or 25 Ks away. But of course, a crime writer named Frank Spearing proposed that she may have secretly

visited the residents to kill her parents before returning to Fairhaven to receive the telegram informing her of the murder. Yeah, she had to race back to get the telegram because then the person delivering the telegram would be like, I gave her the telegram. She can't have been there, but oh, she was. She did it. It's very confusing. Right. And also why would she have murdered them?

If you didn't give any kind of, it reasonable. All these people should spend their time writing episodes of Murder She Wrote because it sounds like they've got great like plot lines and characters and theories. But one more prominent suspect is their uncle John Uncle John more He never show any signs of being a killer He really met with a family after his sister had died

But he'd slept in the house tonight before the murders and according to law enforcement John had provided an absurdly perfect and over-detailed alibi for the death of Abbey Borden. I was at the shop at 1104. With the judge, he was there with me, and my friend the sheriff. Really? So did the sheriff.

Take note of where I am right now. And he said, that's a weird request, John, but all right, and he did. So to the sheriff, take note of where I am right now. And he said, that's a weird request, John, but all right. And he did. So no, that's a fairly question. Oh, it's on Maus. Anyway, so after the trial, Lizzie and Emma bought a home in Fulriver, and they called it Maplecroft.

These are the two sisters. They're just living in a home now. It was a large home. They had a staff. They had live in maids, a housekeeper. Because Abbey was ruled to have died before Andrew, her estate first went to Andrew and then at his death passed to his daughters

as part of his estate. So they had quite a lot of money. So if it went the other way, his would have gone to her and her hers would have gone to. Maybe her family? Right, that seems like a wild way of figuring it out. So, but do you think Andrew ever knew that he'd inherited that for about an hour?

Wow. Wow, wow, I've got all this stuff. Oh no. Yeah, I mean, you're wise, Dan. I don't think you're first thinking about your inheritance. Oh, the first hour. Yeah, you're right. Dan. I don't think you're first thinking about your inheritance. Oh, the first hour. Yeah, you're right. Great. Shocking grave.

Yeah. It sounds to me like they planned that too. Kill the stepmom first. Money goes to dad, kill the dad, you get the money from dad. Who planned it? Adortes. Some sort of sister.

Oh, a sister. An unknown sister, a third sister. And unknown sister, third sister. They did have a third sister, but she died when she was two years old. Or did she? Whoa! That's what she wanted you to think. And because she was officially dead, she didn't inherit any of the fortune that she killed for. Sure, but her sister's going to just give it to her.

Yeah, that's right. They were in it together. They were in kuhuts. Yeah. And they were also lovers. Whoa! Maybe. Probably. And they wouldn't have written about it back then.

No. They wouldn't have written that down. They wouldn't have confessed to a murder in the letter. But I'm very suspicious. I can tell. I can tell. Yeah, so they live it in their house. Two years after the murder, the sisters even purchased a 10-foot tall blue granite monument

for their father and stepmother, spending more than $2,000 at the time. So that's a shit ton now, a metric shit ton. However, despite being acquitted of the crime, the people in her town certainly didn't trust her and they turned against her. All of her friends abandoned her. People refused to sit near her at church and children, probably daring each other, would ring her doorbell in the middle of the night and pelt her house with gravel and eggs. Oh, geez. Yeah, kids suck. Oh, if she didn't do it that sucks. If she did it, she'd be like, now you know, this is, I guess this is karma.

At least I'm rich in my dad's dad. Yeah, but a bit of gravel, you know, even is even. Even. She. Even is easy. Easy. I said that quietly enough that it didn't, you were wearing headphones.

Anyway, Lizzy often traveled to Boston and New York to go to the theater and she developed a relationship with actress Nance O'Neal. Oh, yes, what a Nance. Nance O'Neal. Nance O'Neal. Nance O'Neal. Nancy, this is another one where people were like,

she's gay. She's got a very close friendship with this woman who's married to a man. It's a little bit confusing. I'm not saying they weren't, but I'm just saying like people were jumping to some conclusions. They've been to big, big close friends. Also, lesbians don't necessarily kill their parents. No, yeah, there's no correlation there, I don't think.

Well, she's got a secret potentially. And that means she also has another secret about killing a parent. Yeah, those two go hand in hand Uh, Emma disapproved of this relationship this friendship with nance uh, and uh Lizzie threw a party for nance only a one-time at their house and it was the final straw Emma moved out She was mad. She moved out of the house, she thought she, she, and she refused to discuss the matter. But one time she told the Boston Sunday Herald that I did not go until conditions became absolutely unbearable. And these, I'm,

I'm obviously there's going to be something a lot deeper, but all that I could find was that she didn't like this friendship friendship so she left and the two sisters never spoke again. They were around a strain, they remained estranged. Wow, especially on the plane. Rest of their lives. And by the way, after the murders and after the trial and everything, Lizzie started going by Lisbeth instead, maybe to try and distance herself from the trial.

She didn't start calling herself Andrew. Yeah, you'd go by Andrew, surely. Andy McDowell. Andy McDowell. Andy McDowell. What? I just hate her. I didn't get it.

Well, the question is, why? Have you seen Forbidding's in a few notes? Yeah, actually, she's very annoying at the character. She's so annoying. The character, it does feel like the end. Why would he go first? At the end, she's like, is it raining? I hadn't noticed.

And you're like, have you ever fucking acted before? Express with your face, Andy, Jesus. She's in Grandhog Day, LeRan. She's a delight. Great film. This is a great film. Anyway guys, I'm so close to finished. At Lizbeth was ill in her last years following the removal of her gallbladder and she died of pneumonia on the 1st of June 1927 in her hometown of Fall River. She stayed there the whole time. Even though the whole town turned on her,

she stayed there. You're quite wealthy, you'd move. We can go anywhere. Fiendra details weren't published. A very few people attended. One article I read was like, she got the last laugh because no one was invited. And I was like, I don't think anybody wanted to go.

Yeah. That's a big laugh, isn't it? Yeah, aha, take that. Don't come to my funeral, your dogs. Yeah, daughter-learn. Alright, yeah, good. We didn't want to. Nine days later, Emma died of a chronic kidney disease at the age of 76 in a nursing home

in Newmarket in New Hampshire about two hours away from full river. So two sisters haven't spoken to each other for a very long time, die within nine days of each other. Sounds suspicious. That's a bit. Neither sister had ever married and they were buried side by side in the family plot at Oak Grove cemetery in the hometown of Fall River. And at the time of her death, Lizbeth was worth over $250,000, which was equivalent of 4.8

million by today's money. She owned a house on the corner of French Street and Belmont Street. She had several office buildings, shares in several utilities. She had two cars and a large amount of jewelry. That's my kind of lady. She left $30,000, so the equivalent of $580,000 to the full river animal rescue league $500 or $10,000 by today in a trust for her petrile care of her father's grave guilt maybe

or love So closely in twine to the two Her closest friend and a cousin each received $6,000 as well, which is $116 grand. And just finally, she's been depicted in literature, music, film, theater, television, you name it. In 2014, Lifetime produced Lizzy Borden, took an axe, a speculative television film with Christina Ricci playing Lizzy Borden,

which was followed by the Lzy Borden Chronicles, which was a limited series and sequel to the television film, which presents a fictional account of Lizzy's life after the trial. Fun. There was also a film last year in 2018, Kristen Stewart plays Bridget, the Irish maid, her accent's quite bad based on the trailer. Right. To be sure. To be sure. Um, but the most important depiction of Lizzie was when, uh, Maddie Ziegler from Dance Mums and Sea's music videos performed an interpretive piece wielding an axe and wearing

blood soaked clothing. Wow. It's really something. It goes for way too long. You think it's blood soaked, but it's actually paint. Probably, she was a child, so that's fair. But that brings me to the end of my report on Lizzie Borden. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. What a wild, wild ride. Bit of a roller coaster, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, it's so hard to say, but did you do it? Well, yeah. I mean, I'm in no real position to say, because I wasn't there.

I was on business in France. But it does seem like she did, but who bloody knows, right? But the timeline also doesn't really add up all that well. Like, other people were home when Abby was killed. Well Bridget would have been there too. Surely they would have been some noise. Yeah, it just seems like everyone knew, maybe everyone hated him. They were all assholes.

And then I'm doing the fan fiction that everyone else is doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all in on the together. But then like the one report said that she was struck, Abby was struck from behind, others said she would have been super doing facing her killer. So maybe she would have yelled.

I assumed Bridget was home, so so was Lizzy. So if Lizzy had done it, Bridget must have heard something or, you know, so if Lizzy had done it, Bridget must have heard something or you know, you wouldn't be like, Abby's, where's Abby? She's been gone for a while, you know? Visiting a sick friend, and that also sounded, that's a pretty sus sort of thing. Yeah. Yeah. You just went and so, you got a note. But then the note was never found.

Right, because it didn't exist. It's so odd. So I don't, I don't know. Maybe she did. Yeah, it sucks. It's a super sad story, either way. True. Imagine you didn't do it, and that's just, ugh.

But imagine you did do it. You got away with it, and you got money out of it. Yeah, got away with it, but I mean, do you really get away with stuff like that? Oh, that's beautiful. I feel like, well, I mean, if you... Yeah. It just feels like you would feel awful forever. Yeah. You know what you'd hope so, yes. But yeah, that is the end of the report. Thank you so much, Jess Popperkins.

So, that was a fun one to research. Right. So well-voted Patreon. I think I've seen to pick a good one. I nail it. That's so good. There's Wiley Coyotes out there. Yeah, I'm going to. Patreon Land. Yeah, bloody good.

That brings us to a fantastic segment of the show. It is the fact-quadal question segment. And Jess, you explain this beautifully. Fact-quadal question. segment and Jess, you explain this beautifully. Fact quote or questions. We're one of our Patreon supporters, asks us a question, gives us a fact, or tells us a quote. That is so nicely put. And this week, our fact quote or question giver is Luigi Delos Reyes.

Luigi. Have I not know we had a Luigi? like our fact-quadal question giver is Luigi Delos Raze. Luigi? Have I not know we had a Luigi? I don't have enough Luigi's in my life. I need more Luigi's. And you're able to give yourself a title when you're giving us a fact-quadal question. And Luigi's-

You need the Mario of the pod? Oh my god. It is given himself the title of official green Mario of the podcast. Oh my God, I love that Luigi just leans into it because I'm sure he gets so many Mario and Luigi jokes and you would just have to either go with it or change your name.

Where's Mario? I love that. Good for you, Luigi. Also recently I went to work wearing a green t-shirt and some black overalls and only once I got to work did I realize I looked like Luigi. And I was like like I'm gonna roll with this because Luigi is sick. So you grew a mustache and you got a plumbing degree. Yeah I did and I jumped and I hit my head on some boxes and coins came out of them.

Yeah. It was sick actually it was a good day. Mama mia. So Luigi he did say that's a reference to my name and nothing else. Good, thank you for clarifying. And he is asked us a question this week and his question is, he said, I'll go with the classic icebreaker question of if you were stuck on a deserted island and you could only bring three things each.

What would they be? I should have given you, I should have read this before right now and I should have given some warning. I haven't thought about it. Is what you got one? My phone. Yeah.

A charger, obviously, not an idiot. And probably some coconut oil, it's like a work on a sick tan. And before you say food, hey dickhead, I've got my phone, Uber Eats, yes. Oh, damn, I should have thought of that. Yeah, I didn't think of that. And the charge of that.

Just to keep my phone charged. Oh, okay. And that plugs into the... Sun, it's solar. Oh, that's gross. Jesus Christ, man, read a book. We only got one planet. That's true. One planet, one life, one love. Come on, man. Food is a thing that is on the island. Let's just say it is.

Oh, yeah, there's a chaos. You can get some hot chips and a pie. I can forage for berries. Fuck off. You're not foraging. You'd get a splinter and lie down and wait to die. Honestly, in any survival situation, any zombie apocalypse, I'm just going to lay down and die. I can not think of anything worse than the show survivor, or I'm a celebrity, get me out of here. Anything like that, no, never, no. I don't care how much money you're going to give to charity producers of that show, I will just give money to charity and not go out there.

Oh, yeah. I don't like leaving my house on a hot day or a cold day. Sorry, this is Dave's turn. I would have a piano. Why? If you stuck there forever, you may as well try and get good at something. How are you going to learn the piano? You take yourself. All right, man. I know. Very patronizing as someone who took 10 years of piano lessons. I've also taken many years of piano lessons, so I've gone out of the basics, so I just get real good. I didn't know that about him actually. Well, now I do. This is why I would like to have questions a little bit.

Sorry Dave. No worries, I would have. Maybe grand or.. Yeah baby grand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine that on the beach. You don't want to have, you know, you don't want to waste too much space. Yeah. I would take a Kindle with 10,000 books. Oh, it's a lot of books. And toilet paper. Oh good one. Can I borrow the toilet paper because I have got Uber Eats. No. I think we're all on the same island. Are we? Yeah, great. Disc handle how you keep an out one charged. Top out. It's so good. It's so good that you're remembered. Okay, so we've got food and tanning

covered and a piano and a book. I'm going to bring a big disc to block out the sun. Oh no, it's like a shade tent. Yeah, shade tent. A big disc. Yeah, like Mr. Burns. Right, yeah. And then you show up Mr. Burns. Ours will definitely us with incest and hooting. Oh, that's a real, that's a good question.

I'm thinking of stuff like you, Dave, like a piano, I was thinking maybe a deck of cards. Oh, I like cards. Yeah, you can do a lot with that. Ah. Especially if there's other people, but- Magigate ball. How essential.

If will I get off this island? No, ah crap. Try again later. But if we're taking power things, I guess I'd bring a computer with the internet, which I guess is there because you got Uber Eats. And then you could let people know where we were, we'd be saved quite quickly. No, I want, I'm looking for, there's a holiday.

Oh, great. And maybe a masseuse. Oh, we bring another person. I'm sort of a monkey masseuse. Yeah, what, how did you phrase it? Well, I'm sure you can take it. Three things each. Yeah, people are things.

Yeah. The way I treat them. Oh. You there. Yeah, and the masseuse is also like knows how to sing and teach Dave piano. Great. Perfect.

Thank you. Dave, can I also have a play? You're not going to play your piano 24-7. Can I have a go? You thought it was a dumb idea. I did. So absolutely not. You'll come around a dumb idea, so absolutely not. You'll come around.

Then we'll do duets, we'll play it heart and soul together. Oh, that'll be you. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum Let's do it. Let's go to this island. Because I'm my computer. I've just made that deck of cards useless because you know, play all card games online. But I'm sure we can also look up YouTube tutorials on how to play songs. Oh, that's great. The computer does tabs for things. I know we've got a fine kind of computer does feel like a bit of a cop out. Yeah, come on mate.

Sadly, I don't want to say, but you're a fricking prick. I just wanted to take some photos when I'm like on my new tan. I probably just keeps away from starving. For God's sake. Well, I can't no fair. I wouldn't have gone with a computer until you both had unlimited powered appliances. From the sun.

From the sun. I mean, it's not unlimited. We're stuffed on an overcast day, aren't we? In three billion years, we will not be able to use that side. And you know what I find so like? They bloody, you've hung in a year and a bit and they're on the fritz. Yeah, you're going to have to get a new one. And then where am I going to get new it?

Okay, I'm bringing with me an Apple store. Come on, mate. Oh, that's chaos. I think the chaos is an authorized dealer. Oh, it's a shopping center. But a reseller. It's got everything. Yeah. It's got a target. It's Chadstone. I'm it's a shopping center. But a reseller. It's got everything. Yeah.

It's got a target. It's Chadstone. I'm bringing Chadstone. Oh, the fashion capital. I think we just trapped it, Chadstone. Yeah, but I don't have to pay for food at the food court. That's great. Yeah. How do we get our stuff discount? Do we get jobs there? Oh, yeah. Then we'd be fine. So we probably have shelter there too. They're actually building a hotel at Chadstin. So yeah, we'd be fine actually. I'm bringing one thing. I'm bringing Chads

and the fashion capital. You're welcome. Save your life. Thanks for saving my life. I was going to say thank me later but then you thanked me. So. Oh, sorry. I was a pre-thinking. Anyway, thank you to Luigi for that excellent question. Thank you, Luigi. And the other section on the Patreon section

is we think a few more Patreon's in this section with Patreon. In this section. And if you want to support us on Patreon, you go to do go on, no, what do you do? You go to patreon.com slash do go on pod. And if you support this podcast, you're also supporting Dave's bookcheek podcast,

which is a fortnightly podcast all about classic novels. He reads them so you don't have to. And also another podcast called Primates, which is about primates in popular culture. And it's a lot of fun. A couple of fun pods. So good. I did a, it was about a month ago and I did a,

like a mini do-go-on report about a monkey took a selfie. Yeah. And ended up causing a court case fun. Does it get more fun than that? Nope, nope. Nope, doesn't. Dave, would you mind thanking a few of your patrons? Yes, what are we going to do?

All right, I'll give it a go. So this time, we're going to... I'm open to suggestions. Let's give him something on a deserted island as well. Oh, great. Yeah, that's nice. We give him an object. Yes, that's nicer than saying whether or not they murdered their parents. So, yeah, this is the...

I mean, just your... Just one. You're often very good, but let's let Matt do this. Yeah, I reckon, too. So just one Matt do this. Yeah, I reckon two. So just one object age. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, great. All right, I would like to thank from Halesham in East Sussex in the greatest of Britain's.

I would like to thank Carl Steven. Carl. Carl Steven. Carl Steven. Carl. Carl. Carl Steven. I reckon Carl has brought with him an archery set.

Oh, great. Yeah, including like how many arrows? Two. Two arrows and he's got a little. Sadly, he bought six, 60 bows. He really did not pack well. Yeah, right. That's ultimately useless.

But it could be handy for firewood. That's right. Well done, Carl. We'll need that firewood. And you can just go fetch the arrows and go again. Yeah, exactly. Shoot the pigeon. Pops the Ted off. Grubs another. Grubs it. Grubs again. So good. Carl, thank you so much for your support. Thank you, Carl. And bringing, because you're going to be on the island with us, thanks so much for bringing the bows. Yeah, this is great. There's heaps of us on the island. It's going to be fun island. this is great. There's heaps of us on the island now.

It's gonna be fun island. That's fun. It's like a party island. Yeah, it is a holiday. Yeah. This is like Scooby Doo, that film where they're on an island. It's a party island. Oh, now I understand.

I was gonna say it's like, we're like on a beat there or something, but... That's probably better, yeah. Where at Lindsay Lowen's Beach Club. Oh, great, but there's only the nine of us invited, including Carl. Thank you so much, Carl. Thanks, Carl. I would like to thank from Lancaster in Pennsylvania.

I'd like to thank a beautiful triptych of names, Benjamin Dalton Jolls. BDJ. BDJ. BDJ is fantastic. I'm gonna get BDJ to bring a botchy set. Oh, I love a bit of botchy or bulls. Or bulls.

I say botchy, but I think bulls, if you're not a man. You familiar with this game? No. If anyone who's not familiar, including Jess, it's when you throw at a target, which is a small ball, usually called a jack or a gill. And then you have a series of metal weighted balls and you have to throw them and the closest to the jack wins. Oh, I know what Butch is.

I thought maybe balls are the different game. Now, very similar. So it's basically throwing lawn balls, right? And you can play it, can't anywhere. I thought on the beach would be fun. You can throw those heavy balls up and they're just like smoosh down into the sand. And it could fun.

I love the smoosh. Thanks so much for bringing a leisurely game along BDJ. Appreciate that. So it's always fun when someone brings out like a hacky sack or something when you're at, and you're like, oh, I didn't even think about that, but cool, thanks. It's great when people think of really practical things

to keep us alive on the island, but also it's like it can't be all practical. Yeah, I mean, we've got that entertainment officer, Benjamin Dalton Joltz right here. That's right. We're fine. Thanks for the hot. Thanks for the hot.

We've got our hot-took-house Stevens. And we also have from Bremerton in Washington state, it's Alexander Nyagni. Alexander Sorry You back to away from the mic on the Sun and there Alexander Why did I jump in here Alexander G&N like nat, right? It's a song G. So I'm gonna say Alexander Nege Nege

Nege So for people at home it it's GNEGY. So I love one of those names, don't have a vowel. I like those. I'm sure he's gotten Gnegy before. Yeah, I'm sure. It's really very annoying. So there's a vowel right in the middle there, but I'd love to buy a couple more if I could.

And I think he's brought up with him a home viewers version of Wheel of Fortune. Great. Top dollar. Top dollar. He won it by going on the show once and it's this prize possession so he's brought it with him. That's great. Do you ever watch it? The show Wheel of Fortune? No, I don't know how to see it. So they'd spin the wheel. And this might only have been in the 90s when I would have seen it, obviously it's a kid during the day. They'd spin the wheel and then people in the audience would be yelling out, top dollar, top dollar.

Every spin. No, wow. That's annoying. That was real weird. Top dollar. Just like the funny uncles in the crowd, I guess. It's gonna be a lot of fun yelling that on the beach when we're playing. Top the la.

One of that was the American version has the same. Probably. Top the la, we get everything. Top the la. All that great cultural stuff comes from over there. Yeah, cultural stuff. Yeah, I'm a linguist. I'd also love to thank from Chicago, Illinois. Charlie Habar.

Or Habert. Wait, isn't... I know, which ones are the one? English pronouncing is weird and Americans just do it phonetically, right? That's how it normally goes. Habert. You're thinking... Habert.

Our American Americans would say Habert and Brits would say Habbar. Habit. Habit. It's a great name. Thank you, Charlie. You're welcome. Just what is Charlie brought along with him? Charlie has brought with him enough pairs

of comfortable shoes for all of us. And all our dads. And our dads a dad's aren't with us But if we ever get off the island got a present for dad. You got like a full shoe shut within no Just enough for us. Is that one pair each or no enough to last us? So we've got extras for us. We can only have them when we've destroyed the other ones. We're really worn them down. It's clearly just brought everyone a pair of the boots that I'm wearing now and I've been wearing nearly every day for eight years. Our M's. Our M Williams, baby. Yes, but he also can replace the souls if we need them. My old man's an Iron Man as well.

He will reply, yeah, replaces, he's got a pair that he's worn for a couple of decades or I can, has had to replace the souls a couple of times with that. I've done the heel, so yeah. Heal a few times so far. Yeah, Dave's got a high heel added to your high heel. Of course. I do have a little heel. Charlie, that is a more practical one, but also so helpful.

Oh, I mean, everyone's loving you. Yeah, big time. And they're like, everyone's loving you. Yeah, big time. And they're like, they're cool shoes. Like, rolling like Nike's, you know? Oh, wow. We're sponsored on this trip. We look sick. Nice.

Fucking cool. Wow. I mean, we're dying, but we look cool. We look good in our air pumps or whatever they call. Playing the piano. Yeah. The home of starvation. Playing with some,

I don't know, starvation, I got, I got, I got, Uber Eats, what do you want? What do you want? It's spinning around on the map. I don't know if they know. What do you want? What do you want? Could I please get, I'd love to get maybe some Indian, maybe a coughter with a garlic nun.

Absolutely, no problem. Don, so that's way, Dave, what do you want? Can I have an Indian coughter with a plain nun? way, Dave, what do you want? I'm gonna have an Indian cough with a plain nun. Yeah, absolutely, of course. Thanks. So it's way, Charlie, what do you want? Some sort of tweet me, I'll get it for you. All right, so it's hard.

Okay. Nice. Can I thank some people? Yes, please. I would like to thank, from Phoenix, Arizona. Ah, the round mound of rebound town. Nice. You said Phoenix. Why you played for the Phoenix songs? Ah, the round mound of rebound town. Nice. He's from Phoenix.

Well, he played for the Phoenix songs. Ah cool. I'd like to thank Victoria Kodak. Oh, yes. Victoria Kodak is a very nice name. That's a great name. She has brought us all disposable cameras. Oh, thank you.

But you already brought a camera. My phone. Yeah. It's not disposable, is it? Hahaha. Hahaha. She would have been, she would have been, she's been waiting for a year to have her name red out. She's like, please don't do a, don't do a camera thing.

Oh yeah, you're right. Sorry Victoria. But also, that's a great name. What brand of disposable cameras is she brought? Olympus. Hahaha. Nays. Nays.

Could have been sponsored by Nike and the limpus. Sorry, Victoria, if you were sick of that, but also lean into it like Luigi. It's fine, go with it. It's cool. It's better than fun. It's amazing. Are they waterproof? Those waterproof stuff.

Oh, yeah, we got some really great photos of us snorkeling. That's fun. They'll be listeners who don't know what disposable camera mains because they're so young. Yeah. Oh, it's been quite a while since anyone knew. Yeah, I haven't had one since primary school. Yeah. And I'm 28. Yeah, you're old. Fuck. You're old AF compared to some of the three four-year-old listeners. Yeah. We value their feedback though. Yeah. They're all written in Crayon, but it's very cute.

Yeah. Finally, I'd like to also thank from a Rundle in Queensland. Oh, back home. Bonnie Dixon. Oh, my gosh. Oh, Bonnie Dixon. Oh, my goodness. Country singer, superstar.

Bonnie Dixon, I assume. Oh, right. Sounds like right. Definitely. Bonnie Dixon. And Bonnie has brought a I assume. Oh, right. Sounds like right. Definitely. Bonnie Dixon. And Bonnie has brought a fiddle. A fiddle! It's better than mine.

We've almost got a whole band. Why are we gonna say? It's a Matrix on DVD. What are we gonna watch it on? I just love that everyone's like, I'm like, laptop, I guess. All right, what do we got? Everyone.

Oh, I've got an archery. Oh, I've got pools, like, okay. I've got the Matrix on. Oh, I've got bulls. Like, okay, I've got the matrix on DVD. Just made me laugh. Does your laptop, did you also bring an external disk drive? Because, yeah, so we can't even watch it. But I do have access to Netflix. So, but like, what are we, we can just use Bonnie's DVD cover

as a flight. Yes, no, you did it to signal planes. Oh, Bonnie saves the day after all. And then on the helicopter home, she's playing a fiddle in a very celebratory style. I feel like a real dick. That's the last thing to me. There's a lesson in this.

Somewhere I just can't figure out what it is. No, I don't know. Sorry, I'm not judging in DVD cover. No, I can't be it. But thank you to everybody. Yeah, thanks, O don't know. Sorry, I'm not judging in DVD cover. No, I can't be it. Mm. But thank you to everybody. Yeah, thanks to all the people. We'd love to be on a deserted island of Patrons, wouldn't we?

Yeah, let's do it in international waters. Oh, it's still my dream to do a podcast in international waters. Can we make it happen on a barge? Does anyone want? On a barge. A barge. Barge.

Does anyone out there own a big boat? A super yacht. That's all I want. Tell me if you own a super yacht and can we use it for one day? Please Dave, so please. Oh, so sorry, please. I need this. And if anyone works in a touring American for podcasts?

Alright, yeah, so we'll put it on the table. We're looking into going to America in 2019. Big dream of ours. We've been talking about it for ages. We've started looking into it. The visa side of things to go over there and perform because it's technically work. Looks like it's pretty tricky to put it mildly. Yeah, which we've known for a while,

but the more we look into it, the harder it's. Yeah, talking to our few friends that have been over there and stuff. So basically, we might need to go with some sort of tour company. Is that you? Can we stay on your super yacht and be brought over by your tour company? Let us know if you know anyone that has done that because it's not that many Aussie podcasts that have been offered to America to do a tour, which we feel very fortunate that we want to do that, but we need to make it happen. Yeah, jeez, I want to make it happen. I'm so keen to see a railc Rail Cats to throw the first pitch.

I'm daring not to dream, as yet. I'm going to keep that in my pants for a little bit longer. You're looking at me funny, it's under 10 of phrase. You're going to keep it in your pants. That's a different thing isn't it? No, but keep it in your pants. I'm going to keep my rail cat, my Gary Indiana Rail Cats, first pitch in my pants. Maybe we could all become semi-professional baseball players and the Gary and Indiana railcats brings us over

as like employees or something. Right. We love the emotional opportunity and then we do a couple of podcasts. We just happen to do a couple of podcasts. It feels like it's win, win, win. While we're also playing semi-professional baseball. Yeah.

Hmm? I think they're full pros, just independently. No, but we're gonna be sick. We're not good enough to be. They're not also podcastes, or maybe they are. I don't know. I don't know all of them, but I'm going to. Yeah, soon enough we'll know the boys and girls

of the Gary and Derr and the NRAL cats. Yeah. So basically putting that out there, just in case, if anyone's still listening at the end, and they're like, actually, yeah, I know a company that could help you out or anyone that could help us out. Please do get in contact. Do go on pod at gmail.com, probably the best place to talk about an idea like that.

And all the links to our social medias are on do go on pod.com. Basically, we're at do go on pod on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and we're also on YouTube. We have a great time on YouTube. We have a great time everywhere. We certainly do. We certainly do. We have a great time on YouTube. We have a great time everywhere. We certainly do. We certainly do. We certainly do. We're friends.

Well, that does bring us to the end of the episode. Hopefully we'll see some of you soon in Adelaide and Melbourne for our live shows. Hopefully announcing a few more Aussie live shows soon. So stay tuned for that. But until next time, also, thank you for listening and I'll say goodbye. Bye, guys.

Bye. that. But until next time, I'll say thank you for listening and I'll say goodbye! Bye! This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planet broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive?

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