Two In The Think Tank - 173 - The Baroness Of Floreana Island

Episode Date: February 13, 2019

In the 1930s German lovers Friedrich Ritter and Dore Stauch moved to the remote and uninhabited Floreana Island, hoping to leave society behind forever. All was going well but then another family arrived, hoping to share their island paradise and tensions flared. The final straw came when a mysterious woman claiming to be a baroness also turned up and claimed that she was going to build a hotel on the island. With the three parties all hating each other, it was only a matter of time before they clashed in a major way... NOTE: The Baroness of Floreana Island AKA The Galapagos Affair, is in some ways a sequel to Dave's previous report, episode 170 about The Essex. So check that out if you're keen.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSubmit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPod Instagram: @DoGoOnPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/ Email us: [e-mail] Book tickets to Matt's stand up shows via mattstewartcomedy.com/gigs  Check out our other podcasts: Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READINGThe Galapagos Affair, Satan Came To Eden (2013)https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2960450/https://www.gizmodo.com.au/2015/11/the-gruesome-tale-of-the-galapagos-islands-nietzsche-fueled-homesteader-death-showdown/https://theculturetrip.com/south-america/ecuador/articles/the-mysterious-murder-that-rocked-the-galapagos-islands/http://www.galapagosisland.net/galapagos_islands/the_galapagos_affair_movie_and_history.htmlhttps://siarchives.si.edu/blog/empress-galapagos-islands-part-ihttps://siarchives.si.edu/blog/empress-galapagos-islands-part-3https://www.huffingtonpost.com/cecilia-alvear/coming-soon-to-a-screen-near-you_b_3462505.html Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at dogoonpod.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now.

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You could start your new career in months, not years. Take classes online or on campus Visit PlanetBroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another episode of Duga1. My name is Dave Hornigy and I'm here with Matt Shward and Jess Perkins. Hi Dave, hi Jess. Hi Matt, hi Dave. Dave, just before we started you said I've been trialling a new intro for the show and then you hit us with it and I loved it. So if you really like it, little change of inflection on the fourth syllable.

Very nuanced. It's a bold new world. Yeah, I didn't think it could get better And when you said I've got a new one I was like Dave you crazy. I'm worried about the hate mail to be honest Well, and and that's because people don't like change. Yeah, and every pioneer in any industry fears that but You have to be brave you have to be bold you have to be my bullying Yeah, people don't like it, but they'll look back on today, and they'll say, she's a different time, wasn't it, back then?

Yeah. Before Dave changed it all. I can't even imagine. We're part of history right now. Yeah, those butterfly wings, you just flapped in our faces. Who knows what windy effects they may have. Thank you Dave. Thank you for being so brave.

Thank you so much. And if you are just joining us for the first time, well, that's the best intro you've ever had. And don't go back. Don't listen to any of our previous episodes. There's some good episodes back there. No, you can't listen to them. Yeah, they don't have good intros.

Yeah, so they're trash now. They're trash episodes. Everything we've ever done is trash. We've got to go back and re-vois them. That's true. We'll do it. We'll let you know when that's been done. For now, trash.

Don't listen. Please. I'll listen. I beg of you. Listen, I'm all. Please listen. Man, I'm just doing that thing where I'm like making it like a forbidden fruit and they're like,

oh, I'm just gonna have a sneaky listen. Hey, I tell you what, please don't buy tickets to our show in Adelaide next month. Don't, please. Don't stay away. No. Now reckon they should. This is where my God met. Is this working yet? You do not get it. Tell them not to come. Hey, I'm in Perth Rowan Act. Don't come to my show tonight or the following nights. But do come. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a subtext. Right. yeah, so if you want to come to Adelaide you can find tickets at doger one pod.com That's right

pod.com and The details in the show notes also for my shows and Perth at the moment I'm here in the sunny star on our fanning myself with some and it feels real good You can find our details at matchyourcomedy.com slash gigs That's right. We can also find tickets to your Adelaide, Melbourne, and Brisbane shows. That's right, maybe Sydney, if that's been announced by now, I'm not sure.

Now, we're also doing four live podcasts at the Melbourne Comedy Festival at the end of March through into April. I love to have you there as well, they're always the best. My favorite time of year, it's like Christmas, but better. That's right, and we're not gonna be putting them all out year. In the last couple of years, we put all four episodes out into the stream, but we're trying not to overflow with live episodes this year, so we'll probably only be putting one or two of them out. So if you come into the room, you'll be seeing some real sussi

and sussi, no. Sussi, we're going to be very sussi this year. Yeah, I cannot wait to suss up. Do you go on after dark in the afternoon? Yeah, suss. Anyway, if you're on YouTube the show, yes, it is all plugs. Thank you, and good night. Let us get into this week's episode. Before I do that, Matt,

do you want to quickly tell us now what the show is? Yeah, if you're new, boo, baby, do, and sorry, little scatting. We know we've been scatting the top of the show. As a son of respect. As a son of respect. For each of the little yamstron, of course. So if you are new to the show, yeah, we do scout at the start.

And then we rotate between the three of us, one of us does the report, and scat, sorry. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, that was my turn to scout. And then one of the other three does a report on a topic they have researched, usually which has been suggested by the listeners. This week, Dave is doing that report. Jess and I don't know what the topic is, but Dave will get us onto that topic with a question.

And this week's question is. Well, my question, you kind of do not what the topic is, but I want to see if you remember what the topic is. Cast your minds back a few weeks now. Okay. Oh, this is in many ways. A second. Oh, yes.

That's right. Oh, God, I really don't remember much that happens in this row. Okay. Let's see, which island did I mention and tell you to remember on my last episode when I talked about the Essex, the boat that was struck and sunk by a whale. I just remember that the whales have semen in their foreheads. Spam whales. Spam whales. And it was the ones, it wasn't the ones that has the tortoise on it, was it?

It was the tortoise. Galapagus. No, it wasn't Galapagus, was it? Oh, next one. It is one of the Galapagus islands. Very good. Yeah. We did it. the Galapagos islands. Very good. Yeah. We did it.

He's looking at us like we did well. Okay. Close enough. I don't know if you will remember the name of the title. I think douche or something like that. Does it say something? At the time, it was Charles Island. Oh, that's sad.

But it has been renamed between that story and this story, which I also mentioned on the last episode, Floreana Island. Floreana. That's much better than Charles. A beautiful name. No, I like Charles. Love Charlie. Love it. But Charles Island. He's a pretty big admission early in episode. He's going out on the...

Oh, him there. You work for the public broadcasts, aren't you? I guess you are a cool youth station and you can talk in that way, but... The name, Charlie. Oh. All right, we love it. Like the name, Charlie. End of sentence. Okay.

But Charles Island sucks. The floreana? Great. Great way out. I'm going on a holiday to floreana, Ireland. Well, you could. I've got a few bags of florey if anyone wants to party with me. Now this topic was the one I was originally researching when I read about the Essex and decided to make it in some ways a two-patter. So this topic was suggested by Peter Kienzler from Springfield, Illinois.

Poggy's a bit over. Screwed up your name there. Is it? It could be Sprungfeld. Yeah, I think it's Ila Noss. Hans Sprungfeld. And also Keith J. Ross from Cork in Ireland. Thank you to those two. Listen, let's appreciate that. Cool.

So, Florianne Ireland is named after the first president of Ecuador, Juan Jose Flores. It was previously known as Charles Island, named after Charles II president of Ecuador Juan Jose Flores, who was previously known as Charles Island, named after Charles II, King England. What's a what Charles? An island. It's a boring name for an island. Like, yeah, exactly. Islands have to be a bit jazzy, don't they? Yeah.

You know? If you're going to know, yeah, anything that's a first name outside of Gary, just I don't know if that would normally work. We've got a filler island. I don't know if that would normally work. We've got a filler Ireland. I didn't really thought about it, that's very dull. It's sacks, I've never thought about a lighter, it's yuck. Fill up Ireland.

No good. I don't know, if this still feels better than Charles, which is probably would have a similar, it would be named after someone like that, right? Sure. Arthur Philip. Arthur Philip. It is an island that is part of the Galapagos Island in the Pacific Ocean This is the island that the Essex stopped in in my previous report and grabbed hundreds of giant tortoises

Well, remember just before setting fire to the entire island in a prank gone wrong What a great prank like Star of the fire. It is spreading. Oh, oh, no. Yeah, I meant to do that. Ah, prank. Pranked.

Yeah. Sucked in, island. Ah, you're burnt. And so that was in 1820. And one of the areas of the island is called post office bay. Now that I enjoy. Because since the 19th century, your wooden barrel has kept to mark as a post office bay. Now that I enjoy. Because since the 19th century, a wooden barrel has kept to mark as a post office and is used as a post box where ships occasionally stop by to pick up mail.

These days, cards and letters are still placed in the barrel without any postage and visitors to the island go through the letters and cards in order to deliver them by hand. You can go through and be like, ah, well, when I might be going through this soon, you grab that letter and you drop it off to Jose Flores of one Wembley place. Okay. Is that where he lives? Yeah. Probably shouldn't know. So he's addressing that. So that is. Luckily you didn't give away the suburb, so you didn't mention that it was awful. Thank God it was awful. So that's the previous story and a bit of background. Our story this week starts proper in Germany in the 1920s. Oh, I like the 20s, the flappers

and the do-do-what's. Yeah, yeah. I mean to be honest, not a great time towards the end of the 1920s, Germany in many ways, but throughout this decade with war on the rise, that's what I was talking about, small groups of European settlers began to migrate to several of the Galapagos as larger 15 ills. With the second world war in two decades, seeing pretty much inevitable at this point, there's no much wonder that many wanted to get away from Europe. The Ecuadorian government, the country in charge of the Galapagos Islands, was struggling financially and were happy to have the settlers.

In fact, to encourage them, settlers were invited to enjoy free plots of land with hunting and fishing rights and didn't have to pay tax for the first 10 years. What? Free land? So free land on a tropical island, away from war to many, it sounded like paradise. Oh no. It does sound like paradise, which I'm gonna then guess means something's gonna go wrong.

Uh-oh. Am I right, Dave? You're not wrong. Was this an early version of the fire festival? Yeah, you were tweeted that you were watching the documentary on it. It was a little while back. Yeah, you were tweeted that you were watching the documentary on it. A little wildlife, yeah. It's a wild story. It's such a massive fuck up on so many levels. Amazing. I love a clusterfuck. Yeah, it is one of those. Can you just watch it slowly happening?

Can I tease this story and say that this is a fuck up on so many levels? Yeah! How do funny feelings? The original fire festival. Well, so to many people, this fire festival sounds like paradise. So one of the people that it sounded like paradise to was a German doctor in these mid-40s called Fredrick Ritter. Ritter. Fredrick, Fredritter, I don't mind it.

Yeah, great name. And together he and his lover, Dora Storch. Dora Storch. Who was 15 years his junior decided to give up their lives in Germany and move to the Galapagos. Are we laughing at Dora Storch? Just say it quicker at funny. Dora Storch. That's pretty funny.

I just think my parents didn't really think that through, you know? Like sure, you like to the name Dora, but you didn't pair it with your surname to see how it all sounds. Yeah, what are your parents with stoch? Though, yeah. Pick a name and it sounds like a stoch. Jennifer. Jennifer's stoch.

Much better. Dora's stoch. Stupid. Yeah, it's true, but I like how stupid it sounds. Dora's stoch. Sounds like you're saying Dora's torch. Oh, I was thinking. Did she set fire to the island?

Is it a clue? Is it a clue, Dave? Yeah, I'm wanting to solve this one. That's true. Can you jump in with some theories? Really, really, I can't. Pretty healy on. So they decided to move to the clappings together.

The two at this time were married to other people. Okay. Okay. Okay. But it meant when Dora was a patient of Dr. Rittis. Oh no, I hope she didn't have anything weird. Well, she had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis or MS, a condition that even now there was no known cure. So back in the 1920s, didn't have great medicine for it.

I was just hoping she didn't have herpes or something and then they fell in love Regardless Why why did you hope that sure that he'd been a great position? He goes hey, you got herpes But I love you anyway. I love love. I love you. I love herpes. I've said too much Just want to find someone who'll accept me herpes and all Okay, so she's got a mess. She's got MS, which affects the nervous system. But Dr. Ritter told his patient that with the right frame

of mind and environment, she could overcome her condition. Basically, she could will herself to get better, which is absolute bullshit, but she believes it. Because he's a doctor. He was like, the cure is, sorry, to be inappropriate, but we're gonna have to bone. It's the only cure. I have a magic dick.

I have a magic dick. Wasn't that, we did an episode where a guy went around saying he had a magic dick. A hundred episodes. I think it was a hundred episodes. It was about a guy with a wrist-pute and a magic dick. Which apparently someone's think it was a hundred episodes. It was about a go. I'm just a rough, rough, rough dude. And that a magic dude. It's a magic thing.

Which apparently someone's still going to jostle somewhere. And it's big. And a magic. Yeah. I mean, that's the, that's the double you want. If you want to get the JN out of the bottle, you really got a rough. So, Dr. Says, if we go to this place together and get in the right frame of mind, you'll overcome this illness.

Frederick himself was a devoted student to the teachings of German philosopher Frederick Nietzsche, who wrote, quote, to live is to suffer, to survive, is to find some meaning in the suffering. End quote. So both Ritter, Dr. Ritter and Dora, hated the idea of domestic life and wanted to experience something more meaningful and hoped by living a life of solitude away from material positions that they could get more meaning

in their suffering. That's the aim of this whole exercise. It's good aim. Someone said to me recently that I don't talk about Tism enough anymore. I used to, everything I would bring back to Tism in early episodes Then you mentioned nature. They had an early song an early demo song. It was called

I'm gonna see a nature double feature That's nice. Yeah, that is good. Huh really rolls off the tongue Geniuses beautiful. Good. Genie. Genie. Sorry Dora was devoted to the doctor and before they left, I'm honestly wrote in her diary. Crote, quote, Frederick is my... Sorry, Crote. Well, that's how Germans say quote. Right. No, it's not.

Dave, don't try and fool us. Sour Crote. She sourcoded, quote, South croat. She's South Croated. Quote. Fredric is my guide and my teacher. Fredric is my fate in South Croat. Sounds like a cult of two. Yeah, but yeah, basically he's a cult later.

He's not that charismatic, but enough for one person. Because I reckon it would take a lot of charisma to get habs of people on board and keep them on board and keep them on board But if you can just get one dummy to just love you so much and do everything you say. I mean, that's the drink. I mean, that's a relationship Yes, yeah, I guess that is I mean a toxic relationship. That's funny to think of relationships as many cults Yeah, yeah, just a little cult of two. Oh, that's cute. That's nice. I love that.

I was always like, let me know where you are at all times and what time you'll be home and. Oh. You have the wedding, the sort of a cultish ceremony and it's so awesome. Yes. Yeah, it makes sense. It keeps cyanide in the fridge just in case.

Yeah, that's cultish. Yeah. The Galapagos was chosen as their destination of choice for this suffering camp, because naturalist William Bebe had described the Galapagos as the end of the world. So that sounded like, oh, that's the right place to go for us. We want to go to the end of the world. So they took off. They left their respective spouses behind in Germany with instructions to take care of each other.

Oh, that's nice. That's so weird. Just leaving you a letter, I was like, hey, I'm leaving and I'm going with this woman, but. That's a guy across town. Yeah, he knows after him. Just check in on him. He knows how you're feeling right now.

Yeah, just check in. Maybe, you know, cook him a meal or something. All right, bye. And those two people were Elizabeth the second and Philip, the husband of her. Hahaha. Philip, the husband of her. That's how they got together.

Yeah. Who do you believe? Not many people know that. They both got ditched. Yeah. Both of them were married to royalty. Yeah, that's right. And they ditched him for hell. Yeah. Both of them were married to royalty. Yeah, that's right. And they ditched them for hell.

Yeah. Dumb. The end of the world. Love is love. History is history. What can I tell you? They took a four week boat ride to Ecuador, then they had to wait another month

to be able to find a boat that would take them to the remote Galapagos. But finally, they made it to Floriana, a completely uninhabited 173 square kilometer or 67 square mile island. That just means nothing to me. I can't compute that. Oh, so it's very big. Yeah, that's quite big for an island. That's a big for an island. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe this might make... So their closest neighbors from this island were 60 miles away by boat.

Yeah, but I just wanna know how big the land, sometimes when we used to go canoeing in the Murray River, we'd say we found an island and it was just like a little bit of sand and maybe a tree in it. And we'd be like, oh, on an island, okay, so it's a lot bigger than that. It's a lot bigger, so.

So like one of those cartoon-deserted oasis islands with one palm tree and a couple of coconut. Like it's a reasonable size. It's not the size of Melbourne suburb, I'd guess. Cool, got it, but which one? Just so I can picture it. As an ant bird? Okay, and now do every other major city for all the listeners.

So it's like the size of birds, so they've got a 24 hour came out. I got that shopping complex. Oh, that's way bigger than Burwood. Burwoods on the 8.7 square kilometers. What? If you fucked it. I also don't know the scale, I'm just making this up.

I love that though, thank you for, no, but I got a picture in my head. Yeah. It's big enough. How many Burwoods is it? I can have my shack over here. Just imagine like, you can have your shack over there. I don't have to see you.

Yeah. There's like five or six burards. Yeah, there's like five or six burards. Like 30 burards. 30 burards. Burards is our new unit of measurement. Let's get back to the story. Anyway, they found this giant burards like Paradise.

They explored the island and settled in a valley and hours walk inland next to a spring that could supply them with fresh water. They called them new home, Frito, combining the words Frederick and Dora. Oh, Frito. Oh, we had different reactions there. You almost thought that was cute.

Oh, no, I was just like, oh, I was sure that was like a freedom thing. Frito. Frito. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, hey, Frito. Frito, hey. Hey. I'm Frito, freedom. Hey. I'm freedom here.

So they finally made it to their destination. They've been dreaming of for so long. But it was a very tough life. Hordes of feral animals like goats and cattle left over by pirates are earliest settlers and gritted them. And we're eager to share the produce of their garden. It's nice that they gritted them. Brought them around a pie.

It's like when you start a new game of the Sims, your neighbors come over and say hi. So you get to meet a few people like straight away. It's nice. Have I told this story in the pop before? I don't know what I have when I'm at my neighbor. No. So I live in a apartment.

I'm not third floor. There's only two apartments. So he came over one night. He was just walking around and and he was quite drunk, and he came over to thank us for picking up his girlfriend's pot plant that had fallen in the wind on their balcony. We had not picked up the fuck plant.

Oh, love that. Did you take care of it? Yeah, that's one of these in America. I just wanted to say thanks so much for that. Thank you, Michael. And then I'm trying to be like funny. He's Elvis. I'm trying to be like fun and friendly.

So I say at the end, like, oh, it was great to meet you. Now we've met if you, I wanted to say, you know, he had that joke with a neighbor, if you ever need a borrow or a cup of sugar. Yeah. I said, if you ever want to come around for some sugar.

I'm right here. I'm right here. Luckily, he was really, he sort of looked at me like, what the fuck? And then his girlfriend came out and sort of rescued him. Was like, no, we got to come back inside, come back. Got it. And I was just like, oh my God,

I think I just propositioned my neighbor. Wait, you made it sound like the girlfriend was about to save it, but she just took him away and didn't save it at all. Yeah, I think that he was, that she saved the awkward moment. Yeah, right. Because it was just like him looking at me like, what the fuck did this guy to say to me? If you ever want to come around for some sugar.

I'm super, when I moved into of my apartment, our neighbor came over with a pack of Tim Tam's because he put some rubbish in our bin. Oh, that's nice. What just to say thanks. I think so. Did you notice that there was some rubbish in your beer? In our bin that was already out to be collected, it was not affecting me in any way. That is so sweet.

That's a conscientious man. Yeah. I like that though. I was very confused. Let me just ask you this. Did you give him some sugar? Yeah. Just a thanks.

Well, I certainly put it on the table. I dropped my towel. I said, oh, sorry, let me pick this up. You bet down real slow. Anyway, we're talking about feral animals welcoming them to the island. That's nice. The riches as I will refer to them, because she would, Dora would often refer to him as her husband even though they weren't married.

So I refer to them as the ridders, tried to keep the hungry animals away, but only had a bird gun, rat poison and dynamite. That were their three options. Yeah, so you can only kill birds, rats, and dinosaurs. And mites. Mites. Yeah. There are attempts to shoot poison and explode the wild hogs which are the you know most explode the wild hogs

Quick duck cape this dynamite to this hogs back God it's running into the air Oh, how did that piggy coming in getting a pat so paton it That picks about to go up Well these were unsuccessful but in the end, the dynamite made the hogs nervous enough to stay away. Wow, smart hogs. Love those hogs.

They just say pigs are pretty smart. Smart as a dog. Smoot as a dog, whatever. And very clean. Apparently. Apparently. Stop projecting Dave. You're the pig, not the pig.

Yeah, perhaps the pig was in you all along. Oh God. I'm not that pig out of here, man. I kept the dynamite. I'm gonna blow the shit out. So to speak. So they didn't eat meat. Staunt vegetarians these two and had to live our vegetables

and fruits grown from seeds they brought with them from Germany. That's like, well, I was like, I'm like, what's the problem? It sounds like food is walking up to their house. Yeah, if you're not eating, man. If you're not eating it, that's not so handy. That's just annoying. Yeah.

Okay. Well, prepare yourself for what is possible. You don't like pulled pork, but do you like exploded pig? Hahaha. Dave's saying, prepare yourself. If the peak dyed naturally from dynamite related reasons.

Surely you can eat it. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm not gonna slaughter it. With dynamite. But if it happens to walk over the dynamite, I just put down over there. Put down with a bit of sticky tape on the top of it. So when it walks over it,

it attaches to the bottom of the... I just accidentally rolled it down into the pig hole where they all live. I assume. I dropped it. What's the problem with storing dynamite in a pig hole? What could possibly go wrong? Oh, there's poor pigs. This is my dynamite hole. Are they about to be exploded? You're gonna shove it right in the pig hole. Dave, you're warning us of something. Let's get it happen.

Prepare yourself for what is possibly the most insane part of this story, of this, to be honest, insane story. It's quite early for an insane part too, I love that. Lucky they only ate fruit because before he left Germany, Dr. Ritter removed all of his teeth. Okay. Sorry. He figured that it would be hard to care

for them on the island anyway. And reportedly also wanted to see if his gums would tough enough if they had to. So he just took out all of his teeth. So that was an experiment on himself. He wanted to see if his gums would tough enough if they had to so he just took out all of his teeth So that was an experiment on himself. He wanted to see what was his plan B? Turns out they're not I'll take the teeth back in pop them back in please and when you say lucky They only ate fruit like you can't buy it into an apple or even chew it if you chop it up well Oh my god

Doris still had her teeth no Well, oh my god, no, no, Doris still had her teeth. No But after a while they started to rot and the good doctor had to remove them using his gardening tools He was smart to get him done He didn't mention the plan to her. She's like they rock up to the boat on like to the board the boat to get there And he's like, hey, how are you? I can see it. She's like, where the fuck are you? Oh, I did not tell you. I'm actually okay with him. There's no way to brush my teeth on the iron one. I'm okay with him taking out her teeth because when you said Dora had her teeth, I was like, she's going to eat all of the food and feed him like a baby bird. I haven't finished the story.

Ritter had brought a pair of metal false teeth with him, but they only had one, so they had to share the metal false teeth to eat. But I only had one. So they had to share the metal false teeth to each food with. That's smart. That's love. That is so much. Sharing false teeth. Can you pass your metal teeth? Martyr. Now what are they rotted their diet was only food as well just to basically and sugar every day. Great. At first I was dubious about this teeth story because actually wasn't mentioned at all in a great documentary I watched about this called The Galapagos Affair, but several articles online did so now I do believe it, including the Smiths' Onions. So I'll link to all of those in the show notes and you can make it at what you will, but

in my opinion they're now sharing metal teeth. That's love. That's love. That's romance. Oh, after removing them with gardening tools. Oh. I mean, you're a doctor. Could you not bring like a medical kid or something? I like how vague gardening tools is as well.

What are we talking about? Sack of tears. A rake. A rake. A rake. I mean, all right, we've got to break out the molars. It's like a garden gnome. One of those three prong things that have never

and shit some reason. Oh yeah. Actually at night, man. I mean, nobody likes the idea of getting teeth pulled. But like, I got my wisdom teeth out and the dentist was like, yeah, I could definitely take these out in the chair and I was like, no, no, put me under, thanks. I could definitely take these out with the rake.

I could do this. He wasn't a dentist. He was a gardener. He was a rake. I could do this. He wasn't a dentist. He was a gardener. He was a manelist. So you went on, because you took forever to recover. Maybe you should have had him out in the chair, but listen to that dentist.

He knows what he's talking about. He's a dentist. No, no. No. Once again, no. He's a great gardener. Have you seen his lawn? Why couldn't I say that thing? Well, I haven't seen,

not a tooth insight in that lawn. Yeah, true. Fantastic work, true. So the te haven't seen not a tooth insight in that long. Yeah, true. Fantastic work. True. So the teakless, having a great time, there was supposed to live a life of contemplation in the isolation, but because they had to do so much manual labor just to get by, they didn't have a lot of time for that. Not a lot of meditation time. No, to be honest, because they just... To make time. They're battling the elements.

I'm hearing a lot of excuses here. They're not making time. No teeth, no time. What's wrong? What's wrong with them? Come on, man. The island was not really a place for rest. Not surprisingly, with just the two of them and a lot of pressure, Friedrich and Dora fought a lot. Oh, trouble in paradise. That's where that phrase comes from. Yes, yes, it does. Hi, where's Farrah? Hi, I'm just wondering what you're doing. Where's Farmer? Oh, I love it. I love it.

You're good. How are you feeling, my right? Friedrich Friedrich, all the same to me, was tough on his companion and never praised her in his letters back home to his family. Only complaining about how she constantly disappointed him. Disappointed is a harsh word too. Dora felt lonely and spent her time and love on the animals, forming a bond with a donkey. Sound like that?

No, don't. I tried to rephrase that in so many ways that didn't imply she was fucking the donkey, but I just couldn't do it. Yeah, we got to do it. That did not imply that she was falling. No, I just went straight to Donnie's house. She's fucking the donkey. Forming a bond. Well, the donkey's's house. Yeah, she's fucking the donkey.

Formerly a donkey's fucking her. So you hear forming a bond and you think fucking. I only form bonds with things that I fuck. Right. Wow. That rake, for example. Yeah. Uh, this further disappointed Frederick, who just saw it, uh,

as her flattering the animal within herself. Which, we had an animal in, oh, now that sounds like she's born in the donkey. but as her flattering the animal within herself. We had an animal in, oh, now that sounds like she's bone in the donkey. Yeah, donkey. She longed for attention and he, to put it lightly, was a bit of a fuck with it. Yeah, it sounds like a real prick. You don't want to be alone with this guy forever.

Basically, you've decided to live here until you die with this guy. Could she go back? Would be difficult to have to wait a long time for a boat and it was very expensive to get back. So I don't know what their financial life is. And also she has no teeth now, so. And then what's the point?

Without teeth. It's the point. Get busy, jump and get busy dying. Where are they from again? Germany. Germany. You can't have any of that beautiful German cuisine. Like.

Strudel. You got pork knuckle, pretzels, which half a chicken. I'm just saying things that were on sale at Octobifest. I think I've gone through all of them now, fairy floss. What did you eat, just pretzels? I lived on pretzels, loved them. A lot of pretzels.

Big pretzels, so good. Big pretzels, big bees. A lot of pretzels. Big pretzels, so good. Big pretzels, big beers. I felt like a tiny little child. I'm a little man. That's how Dave feels always. He had Dave normal sized cutlery and he's like, oh, I'm a big boy. He made a give me a mini pretzel

and I'm like, what is this giant food? So this ending letter's home to Germany Germany via post office base every now and then it both would come along and pick up the mail and some of those were linked to the press and sensational articles were written about this wild couple who lived alone and naked on this remote island. If I was Dora I would put myself in the letter box. It's way too big to take me home. I'd put a little stamp on the self. Home plea. And they think, well, she's deranged. Let's get her out of here. Is there been that barrel floating in the air bay? Is that? No, it's on a beachy sand. But I'm a little bit of a bobbling in the ocean.

She doesn't know when they're coming, but should be right. So because of these articles, they became minus celebrities back home. They were all these sensational articles written about them. After they knew found fame, they had their first visitor. A boatload of men led by oil tycoon, Captain Ellen Hancock dropped by. I love an oil tycoon.

He was one of those, which I was supposed to we still have in these days like. Gena Rahnha. I was gonna say. No, he's one of the, well there's been from the old school like how would he use the song whose rich and incredibly insane. Right. They would just, you know, like a Richard Branson type like I've got money so I'm gonna do something weird. Right. That's this guy. How do they reach a brands and insane? Wait, but he does crazy adventures. Like, oh, I'm gonna bloody water ski across the English channel. Yeah, he does love to break some records,

and that's, that's insane to you. Some records. You, I mean, you hosted many world record breaking shows, Dave. And you're from the Afro Neste. Is this a craft help? It's incredibly. It's a blue. But so he's one of those old school,

you know, oil tokens. Despite claiming to want to live a life of solitude, the couple welcomed the outsiders, funny about that, they've been alone for a few months together. And even dined on the boat where the captain and accomplished cellist played music that led Dorita tears as she thought

it might be the last time she would ever hear music. Oh, that's so sad. The part in the news articles where it said they were nude. Are they nude? No I'm not completely nude. They're gums though. Yeah, they're nude gums. I mean because it's very hot at times on the island so they would not wear that much. But like not like completely like. Do they have sunscreen back then. Yeah, so pigs blood. Oh, that's why they're exploding them. Yeah. I will not kill this animal to eat it, but I will kill it.

It's a rather bad. So it's just be sunburned. This pig is SPF 15 plus plus. Oh, I also accepted many supplies from the captain that would make their lives much more comfortable on the island. I pad. Remember, let's be these people that don make their lives much more comfortable on the island. I've had. Remember, there's supposed to be these people that don't want any of the luxuries of life. Right. But then when someone's like, hey, do you want this?

They're like, yes, please. Yeah. Hmm. Back home in Germany, married couple, Heinz and Margaret Whitmer, or Vittmer, read about the doctor and Doris, and decided that they too would like to try their hand at finding a paradise. They took their young son Harry and headed off to Floriana. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Harry, no. Harry was sick so pre-teen, I think she was about 10 or 11 at this time, was sick and wanted and had been his whole life. They described him as being a little fragile and they wanted to give him a healthy quote, Swiss family Robinson existence. Yeah, he's a little pussy bitch. I just don't think going to an island with nothing around is what you should do to someone. Yeah, but I imagine, you know, it's a paradise island. It's probably a big hospital there as well.

Yeah, a haves of friends for him. Yeah. That's of friends for him. Yeah. That's... How gross confidence. That's really fascinating that I wonder how long they thought about it. You know, before they made that decision to just pack up everything and move to an island. When they arrived, the whitties, they wondered if they'd made a mistake. They got there.

And the island, it's not like a tropical paradise, exactly how you'd imagine it. I'm assuming like banana lounges and cocktails. Is it not like that? It's not like that. Oh, I only have it. But at least the hammocks, but they'll deliver your drinks to the hammocks. So they bring the cocktails out? Yeah, bring the cocktails out. And do they not feel it so much so that when you're swinging in the hammock, hammock, it doesn't spill?

Yeah. They think of that. That's true. I love that. Well, they give you your drinks in sippy cups. They're going in the hammock, it doesn't spill. Yeah. I think of that. That's true. I love that. Well, I give you drinks and cipic cups. I like an on my hammock. I love that. But it's not one of those,

a typical tropical paradise island that you imagine. So it's a volcanic island, and yeah, you had to sort of go an hours walk at least into the island to find somewhere where you could set up camp. So you can't, you know, exactly sleeping on the beach and, you know, living a Fiji existence. So they got there, they're wondering if they met at a mistake, but just to get there, they'd sold

everything they own and they didn't have enough money for a return journey. So they couldn't back at now even if they wanted to. They had hoped the Whitmers that they'd be welcomed with open arms by their fellow German settlers who would be on the island a couple of years by this point, but the welcome they got was anything but warm. Oh dear. Margaret Whitmer was also five months pregnant. Oh my god Margaret. And the family had specifically chosen this island to settle because it had a doctor on it. When they told Dr. Ritter this, he was furious. It's like he, I mean they've clearly chosen to live by themselves in the middle of nowhere. He settled here to get away from that sort of life.

And he did not want to be someone's personal doctor. So he was pissed off and told him, I'm not going to help you. Also, they didn't read in worship nature. So that was a black mark against their family name. Dora immediately did not like Mrs. Whitmer, who she sensed was someone who would dedicate themselves to housekeeping. The very thing she despised. She saw as a classic house frow. A housewife of sorts and she was like,

well, this is the exact thing that I've tried to get away from. And you're... Yeah, they didn't want domestic life. Yeah. And these people are so domestic. A bit of a domestic goddess. But a third of... Yeah, it's like, yeah, we want to live that domestic life

in the bush some way. Oh, no, that's right. You think that arrived and you it's like, yeah, we want to live that domestic life in the bush. Some way. You think that arrived and you'd be like, oh, at least we're on the same page. Kind of. Yeah. Rather than set up camp near them, Dr. Ritter took the Whitmers a tough hour long walk away from them and showed the Whitmers some old caves that he that had once been lived in by pirates and told them that they should set up in there.

So they thought they'd form this new community with the two families and maybe more because you know, they're German. Yeah. They're from the same place they could get on, but no, he was like, no, you go an hour over there and live with the cave. Adelaide's a bit like that. I think big German settlement. I either have that. So people living caves. Yeah. And there's at least an hour walk between each house. Yeah. Streets are very long. Long streets there. Yeah. Everyone loves their privacy. I respect that. Oh, it's an hour if you walk really slowly. Yeah. I just by being sent away from the others, the Whitmer's really nailed the island life and we're actually much better at living off the land than Dr. Ritter and Dora anyway. They could grow and farm their own fruit vegetables and meat.

The other couple, however, seemed to rely on supply, strapped off from boats every few months, despite their longing to be alone at all times. So they were living on handouts, and the Whitman, so they told the piss off, is that because they got them far enough away from the animals eating their producer? I think, Hines, my just turned out to be sort of, he knew how to build a fence around it. Well, he just knew he just knew how to live off the land a lot better than the others

and sort of just became a bit of a bag of Rill's top. Oh, it was drinking his piss. That was the secret. Well, I know about bag of Rill's. Probably one thing you did one episode. Or is that something he does all the time? Just say him do it a few times. I'm enjoying it every time. Did he like you just piss us like up in the air and do his math? That's usually into some sort of canteen. Oh yeah. I've just cut out the middle man. Did you then filter it at all?

Can you filter it? What do you do to piss? Drink it. Right. Sorry, super question. Thank you. So there's a comedy mouth and you're thinking God of an idiot. So I think anytime I say anything, if you ever doubt that, then you're an idiot. Anytime I speak, in my head, I'm going, shut up idiot. There's the do-go on wisdom account. Well, they tweet out quite. I really hope that one of them is, can you feel to piss? Just Perkins, episode 172, 73.

Well, I think it was what do you do to piss? Oh. Neither couple was alone for much longer because just two months later, a lady arrived on the island calling herself the Baroness. Oh, I like her already. She was on a donkey and carrying a revolver. Yeah.

And then Dora was like, there's a hot donkey out there. Oh, man, I'll take you a donkey from this. I like the look of that donkey. The Baroness. The Baroness, his real name wasise Bosché de Wagner Verhorn. Yes, Eloise. She was an Austrian who claimed to have royal ancestry, and that's why she called herself the Baroness.

Right. Love that. And that's why she moved to an island nowhere near where? Where she had any power? She was accompanied by Rudolf Lorenz and Robert Phillipsen, her two German lovers. Ooh. An announce that she had come living in the orange grove right next to the Vitmer's stream.

She went to the stream and one of the men she was with took off her shoes and she began to wash her feet in the Vitmer's drinking water in front of her. Oh my. Okay, she sucks. So that's one family pissed off. She then went round to Dr. Ritter and sat in his deck chair, uninvited, and demanded a cup of tea while telling them that she wanted to turn the island into a Miami familiar.

Ritter, Andy Capillast, and I, despise this idea, she was planning to ruin his solitude, but the very thing he was trying to escape. They basically told her to fuck off. She was enraged at their disrespect. She's incredible. She's pissed off them. She is my queen. I love her. Oh, this is your drinking water, so I could wash my feet literally anywhere else except right here. No, I'm gonna wash my feet right here. I mean, he's already taking my shoes off, so.

I don't like her. Wow, that's controversial, Matt. I can't see why not. Well, she just seems a little off. I think she'll grow a new. She sounds to me a little rude. What do you think? I'm sorry to use that language.

I think you're being a bit... Put it away, man. A bit precious. What do you think Dora thinks of her? I think Dora... That's that don't you. I want to say Dora hates it, but I think maybe Dora likes her. Well, she dislikes the Baroness immediately, but wrote that she liked it more than Mrs.

Vittma, who was nothing more than a housewife. She respected her at least and said, quote, even as an enemy, she is a person worthy of one steal. Right, okay. So she respected her. At least she's not a housewife. Basically, that's what she wrote. Well, Dora, get off your high donkey.

The Baroness called it. Nothing. Nothing. No, I think it's what she wrote. Wow, Dora, get off your high donkey. The Baroness called it. Nothing, nothing. No, I think it's a good point. You two could go fuck yourselves. Well, maybe we will. Oh, the Baroness called a camp which you plan to build the future hotel, the Hussie Ender Paradee, so.

More like Hussie Ender Paradee, so. Thank you, thank you so much. She claimed the island for herself and did not like when outsiders arrived. There was a story that went around that she was also a great self-promoter. So this story, possibly also, was told by her to give herself a bit of a rep to the outside world. A story goes around that a honeymoon, a honeymoon in couple, cast a drift in a small boat from another island, landed on Floriana. The Baroness refused them aid and forced them back out to see again, to an unknown conclusion.

She may have told that story. She may have told that story. Maybe to give herself a rep and to make people not want to arrive on the island that she wants now to claim for herself to become a multi-millionaire. Two Norwegian to lived on a nearby and much larger center cruise island, arrived one day to go hunting and shot one of the wild cows on the island that had been there from previous settlers. The Baroness appeared and claimed that they had shot her animal and chased one of the sailors with a gun and threatened him, claiming that she now owned everything

on the island. How is that? How did she claim in that? She's she's claimed me by pointing a gun and threatened him, claiming that she now owned everything on the island. How is that? How does she claim in that? She's claiming it by pointing a gun at him saying, that's my cow, get the fuck off. She's actually a psycho. So there's no laws necessarily? No. Is this part of Ecuador? It's part of Ecuador, but there's obviously no police force here. Yeah. She has nothing. So someone could kill her. Someone probably does kill her. Someone could kill her, yes. Ooh. So hard. This feels like it's, I mean, if you're one of those, especially the first people there, you'd be like,

if you're certain enough with guns, this is going to escalate, I would have thought. Well, when Dr. Ritter found out about this, about how she chased some Norwegian, who he actually personally knew. One of the guys reportedly when she chased him appeared at Dr. Ritter's camp with his clothes all messed up because he'd traveled across land to get away from her. His clothes ripped to shreds and told Dr. Ritter what had happened.

He wrote a letter reporting the Baroness's behavior to the local governor, hoping that he'd come and be like, you can't do that here. There's also stories of the Baroness shooting donkeys for fun and nursing them back to health. Basically, she sounds like a terrible person. Yeah, she's a sociopath. Or warming to her. But because of her spreading rumors about herself, it is hard to know what is exactly true and what isn't. But what weird rumors to start about yourself, like, I would start a rumor that I was super nice. I hear she's really nice.

I know that the old thing, there's no such thing as bad press. And she got in the papers back in Germany too, because of all these stories. Cause she was really nice. Kitt nearly killing a donkey just to nest back to hell for the pretty bizarre. Yeah, that's very odd.

Hey, like some cogs aren't quite turning properly in her head, bizarre. Yeah, that's very odd. Hey. Like some cogs aren't quite turning properly in her head, you know, like that's, that's. I mean, either way, it's weird. If she's doing it, that's obviously fucked. If she's telling me what she's doing it, possibly even weirder. Yeah.

Over the Vittmars camp, pregnant Margaret began to give birth over 72 hours. No. In the cave. No. At first she refused her husband's office to go and get Dr. Ritter's help. After all, he had been very rude

when they initially asked and she said, I want to give birth to that guy, I don't need him. But then the blood and pain became too much. And after 72 hours, she screamed for her husband to go and get Dr. Ritter, and she was worried that she and the baby would die. He came back with Dr. Ritter three hours later and Ritter to his credit immediately went into Dr. Mode and delivered the baby. That's pretty good. Three hours isn't crazy long because it's an hour return, right? Yeah.

Hour each way so it took him, well it took him an hour to convince him. Please. Please. Yeah. Wow. It involved performing an operation with that anesthetic. Please, please. Yeah. Wow. It involved performing an operation with that anesthetic. Margaret successfully gave. About gardening tools.

Yeah. That's a rake. Don't worry, I've done this before. I've a flower as mouth. I'll rake that baby out of you. Margaret successfully gave birth to a son named Rolf. I would have got him rake. As a tribute.

He comes out the baby's first step as I know a rake, a toy. Such a bum. A riddle to Spidey's initial reluctance, wrote of Margaret's bravery in his diary during the painful birth and was very happy that Rolf was healthy. That's nice. So he came round a little bit. Well, like, come on. You've got a very handy set of skills

and someone's giving 72 hours. Oh, God. Oh, 72 hours. And obviously when it's horrible enough when you're on drugs in a hospital, which most people have these days for 72 hours, sometimes. But you know, it's going to be okay because you're in a clean environment surrounded by professionals, but she was alone in the cave for a lot. Like if she was already five months pregnant when they got there, I suppose they would have known she was pregnant before they left. Right, so just stay, have the baby then go. Same go. I know. But not a great time in Germany, remember they really felt low they needed to get away. The Baroness was also pleased for them to use and arrived to give the baby boutique clothes.

Dr. Ritter and Dora also gave presence to the baby and momentarily the three parties on the island got on very well. It seemed like the birth had brought them together and that maybe they could be friendly after all. Dave, I feel like you're saying that just to bring us, to give us some false hope. No, ended up report.

They lived in the area. Oh, yay. They became great friends and even better lovers. Oh. I know. They then had another visit from the cello playing eccentric oil tycoon, Captain Hancock, who was pleased to meet the islands to newer parties.

And he invited them all aboard his boat, where they all immediately began to quarrel. OK. And they spent the rest of the afternoon keeping them three parties separate. Now when you're told, you better keep anti-marry away from Cheryl, because they do not get along. Yeah, it's that.

But all of them. But yeah, all of the guests. Every guest you're like, I'm going to keep it for a minute. All right, we've invited 80 people to this wedding, and no one can talk to each other. It's going to be fun. I can't wait for the speeches. It's going to be a magical day. No one wants to know those pages. I've just laid before Captain Hancock gave Dr. Ritter gifts and supplies for his camp and the Baroness

demanded that they fairly distribute the gifts to all three of the camps. Ritter, seeing them as a gift for himself, cracks the... Most weight loss programs are short-term fixes, but managing your weight needs a long-term solution, and that's what makes NUME different. NUME uses science and personalization to help you manage your weight for the long-term. Their psychology-based approach helps you build better habits

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But also your Baroness, I think you are in line. I think she's a really selfish person. She's a so too bad. Now if you remember before, the governor of the Galapagos eventually arrived with soldiers to investigate the allegations made against the Baroness about the Norwegian hunter that she threatened with a gun. But like many other men, in the end the governor was completely charmed by the Baroness and gave her a title for four square miles of land to build her hotel. Oh, meanwhile, he gave Ritter and Dora

and the Whitmers only 50 acres each, a lot less land. The governor also declared that the Vittmers Spring can be used by both the Vittmers and the Baroness. So she got permission to hang around all the time and got more land than everyone else. Even though the whole reason that he was there was to tell her to stop threatening people with a gun. Right, surely it's a Baroness that we would

split up this land equally between the three of us. Yeah, that's right. We had to split up those gifts before. Wow. So now she's got the land for a Hussie Ender and the others are more annoyed than ever. The Baroness it seems had even grand evisions and wanted to become a movie star of sorts.

What the fuck, I could pick one thing and do it. She's just doing everything. She convinced our old friend millionaire oil tycoon Captain Hancock to return to the island and shoot a short silent film with her as the star. And boy is it bad. I bet. It is on YouTube and you can watch it in its entirety. It is called the Empress of Floriana and goes for four minutes. That's too long. So he

had, so basically he funded the whole thing here to pay like a film crew to come along, which obviously was very expensive in the 1930s. They had to go to the middle of nowhere. So he's really rich. He's crazy. He's like Richard Branson. Yeah, they sound like they're made for each other. Yeah. In the film, a married couple washed up on the beach and the Empress and her lover mess with a couple by shooting the wife on the beach. And when the husband arrives at their camp

to ask for water, the Empress says, quote, it's one of those things where they're acting and then like a title comes up with what the dialogue is. She says, first, you must do something for me. Ooh, and then it turns into a porno. Well, that's something is to kill her lover. So she shoots the husband's wife on the beach. She was played by one of the young cabin boys on the oil tycoons. Classic. But he's wearing a terrible blonde wig. And they actually shot him. Yeah, yeah. I like realism.

Do you expect him to ship him back? And then the husband shot her lover, and the film ends with the Baroness and the husband making out behind a piece of cloth. So basically it is a porn. And it is an absolute cinematic masterpiece, and I suggest you watch it. I don't know what kind of porn Dave's watch. Should people make an out behind a piece of cloth. You're all right.

Basically, porn. Oh, baby. Stop talking about it. You're getting all flustered. That's hot stuff. He's gone all red. That is so hot. So hot.

And his face is too. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, something about. So I've written here. So that's a bit of fun. And you were right to write that. But for the most part, 1934 was not much fun on the island as it was filled with drought and astonishing heat wave. The days were much hotter than usual and the rain that they relied so heavily upon just

never came that year. The drinking water became low and plants and animals began to die off. Both the animals, the settlers had brought with them and the local native wildlife. So you know you're in trouble when like the lizards and things on the island that have lived there in harmony for tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of years and they're dying and you're like, ah, it's not just the kids. Probably not good. Yeah, the cactus is a son of a dog. Oh God. Oh God. The vultures are dead. Yeah, they're circling just to die.

The lack of supplies and horrible conditions brought even more attention to the island life and the Bacardi stopped flowing. The Bacardi's And the parties began to clash, especially with the Baroness. One day, one of her lovers, Lorenz, appeared at the Whitmer's camp and told them that the Baroness. One day, one of her lovers, Lorenz, appeared at

the Whitmer's camp and told them that the Baroness regularly beat him and that he was leaving her. Apparently, her other lover, Philipson, had become her favorite of the two. Right. A Huffington Post article said that she referred to him as, and I'm not making this up, what would you refer to your lover as, Matt? You will love this. A great nickname. Bobbi. Bobbi, tell me.

Is that Bobbi? Oh my God. Hans. Bobbi. That's so good. You two have been saying that to each other for weeks. For weeks now. Since the diehard report.

Yeah. We did back in London back in the month. Hans. Bobbi, which is a great moment is the diehard report. We'll be back in London back in the middle. No, that one. Hans. Booby, which is a great moment in the diehard film. And I read this today when I was finishing up this report, just an extra little fact and I was like, that's the best part of the whole report.

I bit my tongue earlier because you said there was a guy called William Boob. I'm like, William. Booby. Booby. No. So, Philipson is her Bubby. How's that spelt?

B-U-B-I. Bubby. Bubby. I'm assuming that's how you spell it right. Yeah. It's not Bubby. No. Bubby.

Bubby. Bubby. So, Bubby is the favorite. Lorenz has left because she's beating him and not treating him well. That's just cool. I feel like, yeah, I mean, you're probably not giving us the full picture, but it feels like a place you wouldn't want to be. No.

No, I don't want to be there at all. You're not just giving us all the worst moments and the rest, they're just playing mini golf and drinking shard. They're having a great time. That's my paradise. Mini golf is shard today. I've never seen you drink shard today. I've drinking shot. Oh, they haven't had a great time. That's my paradise. Many offers, Shard and I. I've never seen you drink Shard and I. I'm probably never.

Oh, I'm playing Mini Golf. Yeah, I know. Should we play? Should we go Mini Golfing? Yeah. That'd be really fun. I didn't say you were invited. That's so awkward.

I was looking at it. So you dive it would be normal golf. Yeah. To us, it's miniature. It's a novelty thing. I see. Do you want to come big golfing? Hold on. Normal golf. Yeah. To us, it's miniature. It's a novelty thing. I say. Do you wanna come big golfing?

Hold on, is that still mini golf for you? No, it's big golf for us, so extra big golf for you. We'll put you in the holes. I love mini golf, it is so fun. All right, you can come. Do we go bowling as well? Yes. Terrible with both, but God have a good time.

Well, that's all that matters. So anyway, Lorenz is there complaining about Bobby. Lorenz also, he also spilled the beans about the Baroness, telling the whitmas that she was not in fact a Baroness at all. What? She had been married to a Frenchman named Bosque, and that's how she got her name, who she left behind in Paris. Before the war, she was a dancer and admitted her husband

in Constantinople and also claims to them that she was a spy. She sounds bat shit crazy. She had met Laurence. None of this is true at all. She had met Lorenz in Paris. So this bit comes from Lorenz, you know, a bit more reliable. And together with Lorenz's money,

the two would set up a boutique together in Paris. Philipson, the other lover, Ake A aka Bubi, was hired as a salesman. That's how they all met. And then they became a bit of a love triangle. Now on Floriana Island, Lorenz was the assistant to the others and was regarded as just good enough to do the house chores and tend to the livestock. Basically, he was their slave. That's why it's cracked and left. But sadly, Lorenz returned to his lover each day and only came back to the whitmas at night crying. So he was infatuated with her. This behavior seemed to be one of many final straws, and Hans Vittmer appealed to his neighbour Dr. Ritter and said something had to be done about the Baroness.

Not long after these events in March 1934, one day, Dora heard what she thought sounded like a woman screaming. She wrote it off as her mind playing tricks and at the time didn't think much more about it. Yeah, you would assume that you could hear someone screaming, you'd think, oh, my mind's playing tricks. The amount of times I convince myself that my mind is playing tricks. What's that noise right now? It sounds like my voice, but I think it's my mind playing tricks. That's a trick. What fun.

The following day, Heinz Whitmer didn't make his weekly visit to see Dr. Ritter as he always did. Always checked in once a week just to make sure. I must still annoying to you. Yep. Great. Good. Good. Good.

Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Oh. Instead Margaret and Lorenz, the ex-lover of the Baroness, non-Bub. He and Margaret visited the next day and told them a story that in Doris' words sounded rather rehearsed. The story was that the Baroness had turned up to the Whitmer's camp looking for Lorenz and said that her and her other lover, Bubby, were going to Tahiti with some friends that had arrived on a sailing boat, and that Lorenz would stay behind and look after the camp. They were going to try and set up their hotel on Tahiti instead, and sail off into the sunset on this

boat. That's great. Great. Well, that works out really well. So they've gone. So Lorenz has got the camp. Yeah, now we're back to it. I mean, he's alone and all the neighbors are our souls

And he can't get back to Civilization, but he has killed his ex No, no she's left well doctor bodies. He's they propped them up in a boat You can see me flannel way now They're on fire I don't know why now. That's not a problem. They're on fire. There they go.

There they go. Oh, no, it's just your mind playing tricks. They're on fire now. That's the sun. That's the sun dancing off the waves and their faces. Look, they're waving. Dr Ritter and Dora seemed very suspicious of this story. From where they lived on the island, they would have been able to see any sailing ship

that had arrived and they hadn't seen anything. Of course they would, they're fucking desperate for ships to arrive to get free. Yeah, they won't freebies. You guys got show bags on that ship? Ha ha ha ha ha. Show me that. I want a Betty Betel.

I was gonna say Betty Betel. Is there a rule you gotta see if someone says show bag, you gotta say Betty Betel. I don't know that Betty Betel. I know those go for a whizfiz. Is it all you gotta see if someone says show bag you gotta I know those go for a whizfiz Hmm fucking love that sherbet get it in me. Yeah. Hmm. What is it? Yeah, so it was like super super refined sugar or is that all it is It's got me more to it because it's got that fizz about it. Yeah, that's the whiz. What's the fizz?

All right, we know what the whizz is, sure. Sure. Well, to quote Bar Simpson, there's no sugar and pixie sticks, as he hands them to Rod and Todd. Okay. Extremely hyperactive and then beat each other up. So Dr. Ritter and Dora, they are very suspicious. They thought this might be a trick, so they visited the Baroness's house to see if it was a trick,

and she wasn't dead gone. Couldn't find her anyway. But it appears though, she'd left everything behind. Even her prized possession, which was a copy of Oscar Wilde's the picture of Dorian Gray, that she carried with her everywhere was left behind. That was her prized possession. She carried that with her everywhere.

How old would it have been at the time? About 30 years old? Yeah. 40 years old. And. What a years old. And if you're wondering about the picture of Daringrain, what it's all about, then that I'd love you to listen to the first episode of my other podcast, Book Cheat with guest, Nick Mason and Mr. Sunday movie. Shameless. This is no good.

Absolutely. When I read that there was a chance for a plug in this report, that really made me think, I've got to do it. I tell you what, there better be some sort of monkey coming up. Yeah. They better be furious or a monkey coming up. Yeah. There better be. Or I'll be furious. Or a chimp.

Or a chimp. Yeah, chimp would be fine. I'll accept it. Any primate. Thank you. Well, you have to set it with humans. Because we're looking for a primate to pop up in this show. Because Matt has a podcast about primates and popular culture.

It's called primates. See Dave, how does it feel? When somebody just shoe horns in a shameless plug. Well, gross, isn't it? Absolutely. Yeah, I threw up a little bit in my mouth saying it. Yeah, I will be deleting your plug. No, he's good.

In the warry that it takes away from my plug. He's good. So her stuff's there, even the picture of Daringray, which better or worse is her prize possession. That's weird though, like these days, we don't have prize possessions. No, especially not as an adult. Yeah.

Good point. But like, I'm trying to think like if I saw that you'd left something behind, I'd be like, huh, that's odd. It'd be your phones. Yeah. I guess, but I wouldn't even be like, let's say I'd be like, oh, he's gonna be annoyed. Yeah. I don't know, huh, that's odd. It'd be your phones. Yeah. I guess, but I wouldn't even be like, that's sad, so I'd be like, oh, he's gonna be annoyed.

I don't know, he's fine on him, and I can't let him know because he doesn't know he's fine on him. It makes it easier in a house fire. He's just gonna, ah, not a bin. Yeah. These are not many people yelling at. Oh no, my copy of the picture of Dorian Gray is in that fire.

Even photos and stuff, it's not really a worry. Having my old, maybe like, your parents or grandparents photos. Did you have any of them in there? Yes, you left it off. You left it off. Also rather suspiciously, Lorenz or X-Leaver immediately started selling the Baroness

the supplies to the other camps, claiming that he was raising money to get off the island. He was like, do you want any of this stuff? Did I have money? Yeah, they got, yeah, so they do have a bit of money. Why? Well, I guess so, they can buy stuff from passing ships. Right. I would, yeah, I think that's fine. I mean, why don't look into it too much. You wanted it gone. Now you can buy some stuff.

Yeah. Dora also noticed that the witness was sporting a new tablecloth that she'd seen before at the Baroness's house. Just a few hours after she'd quote, sail away. What a weird bit of bounty to steal. A tablecloth. And then to display it, come on, guys, just wait. Why do you have tables?

That's funny, the story's like this and you're like these murders and you're like, hey guys, we all want you to get away with this For some reason I'm like stopping an idiot here. Use your head Months later the drought broke and a journalist are after to a story on the Baroness who he was told had disappeared He broke the story to the world and became a bit of a mystery with foul play heavily implied. So the Baroness is back in the headlines, probably not for the best reasons this time. Not as opposed to when she killed and then nurse back to health at donkey. She's probably not quite killed, did she? That's good. That's where the other. That's how good she is. She's

saving lives and that then she's an angel. Yeah, Lazarus, Lazarus is fine, that donkey. The journalist was on a ship that agreed to take Lorenz off the island to the largest Santa Cruz island where it would be easier for him to get back to Europe which he was desperate to do. As he was leaving the island, Lorenz whispered to Mrs. Whitmer, quote, I don't know why, but I'm afraid of this trip somehow.

In, quote. Oh, oh boy. Lorenz made it to Santa Cruz, and saw a larger boat that could take him back to Europe and he pleaded to get on it. He was told it was Friday the 13th, an unlucky day to sail, and that the weather was also very bad.

Okay. He didn't care. He was desperate to get home despite the risks. I mean, the risks being the day is superstitious and the weather is real bad. The weather makes more sense. More of the concern. But for many sailors, they have lots of superstitions. I guess yeah, and superstitions there is that sort of that effect of if it's in your head and you're a sailor controlling a boat and you think God to those cursed and it's stormy maybe you don't make the best decisions like you would on Friday the 12th, a very good sailing day.

You talk to the captain into taking him and they left Santa Cruz and no one saw them for weeks. Captain Hancock, our millionaire tycoon, found their mummified bodies on Marchina, a tiny Galapagos island that doesn't have any fresh water. They'd been marooned and died of thirst and had become mummified in the sun. Wow. On the beach. Wow.

And I seem to footage of their bodies and they look really gross. Oh my God. Yes, they would have had a pretty horrible death. They don't know exactly what happened, but maybe the engine had malfunctioned and that they'd been blown off course because it was actually in the opposite direction of where they should have been going

and they washed up on this island, which there's lots and lots of islands around but sadly they got to one that was uninhabitable and they would have just sat there and died. Shit. That's the lens. The lens is gone. So the three ways all it all did now. that was uninhabitable and they would have just sat there and died. Shit. That's the rent. Lorenz has gone.

So the three ways all that all did now? Yeah. Well, some of them are in Tahiti, please. Right. Yeah, they're in Tahiti with friends. Building. They're hotel now. Thank you.

Come on, man. They're doing it with someone like using their limp dead arms. Yeah, it's a week in a Bernie situation. Week in a Bernie. So that's a very easy shorthand where to describe what I was trying to invent their whole new concept for a film. Long weekend at Bernie. Oh, that's good.

Meanwhile, back on Floriana, five months had gone past since the Baroness had disappeared. And the drought had broken a little too late. And the crops had failed, meaning that the staunch vegetarians Dr. Ritter and Dora were forced to eat meat to survive. They decided to take a risk and rather than kill an animal, they would eat some chickens that had already died in the drought. That's a risk. The couple even offered them to the Whitmer family claiming that they had boiled the poison

out of the dead chicken's bodies. Okay. And that they should be safe to eat. No. The Whitmer said, thanks for that, thanks. Yeah, we're happy to just to eat this. I don't know what you're going to say, they didn't want to kill any animal, so they just chopped a leg off.

Bit by bit. Frederick Ritter only had a little of the chicken chicken and Dora had the majority of the meat. Oh dear. I imagine using the metal teeth. Plus Dora had been really annoying for a long time, so if you're going to both eat some poison food, yeah, give her the majority. Just a few hours later, however, Frederick laid down and complained about feeling ill. Then he started vomiting and experiencing agonizing pain.

It became apparent that he was very ill and possibly dying. Dora wrote that she sat with him all night and at dawn he asked her to read Nietzsche and he asked her to remember him by one of the lines. She realized that in the doctor's own opinion he was dying so she went to get the whittiness. And from here we have two differing accounts of what happened. Dora described what happened as thus. By the time Dora and Margaret Whittmer got back to the doctor, his tongue was so swollen he could no longer speak. She sat with him until the next

morning, when he suddenly sat up, put his arms out to her and had a look of complete peace before falling back down dead. So that's Dora's account, a peaceful death where she was reaching out to her, saying goodbye. Margaret Whitmer, on the other hand, said that when they arrived at the camp, he was in excruciating pain. He grabbed a pencil and wrote out his final sentence, which said, quote, I curse you with my dying breath. And then good. It's good. And then looked up at Dora with angry eyes. No.

He was in pain throughout the night before dying. That's brutal. It's a two accounts there. Very different. Very different. One was like he loved me so much. No, Jess, you don't get it. That was a quirky thing they had.

They used to curse each other with their dying breath all the time. That's how they showed their love and affection. Yeah, that's what it's like. That's beautiful. The whidmirs were happy to point out that it was also strange that both of them, Dora and Fredric, could eat the chicken and that Dr. Ritter would get ill enough to die and that Dora was fine despite eating more of the chicken. Yeah. She also wondered why Dora had waited so long to get help.

Maybe they could have saved Dr. Ritter with earlier intervention, she thought. What are you going to do, Margaret? Hey, couldn't even have a baby by herself. Now, you're the doctor, are you? Come on, Mark. Unbelievable. It is a funny sort of, like, why didn't you leave him earlier by himself when you thought before you realized things were dire?

That doesn't make any sense, right? Leave him alone and go find two people who aren't doctors. Yeah, what are you going to do? Hey, you're really good in the garden, right? Well, my husband's dying. Could you have waited, could you maybe weed him or something? Yeah, you're really good in the garden, right? Well, my husband's dying. Huh? Could you have worked, could you maybe weed him or something?

Yeah, weed him. So now we both basically have two women, both accusing the other of murdering one of the members of the island. Because Dora is heavily implying that the Whitmers had something to do or at least knew what Lorenz did to the Baroness and her lover,

and that now the Whitmer's are saying, Dora, it's a bit sus that your husband died and that you're fine. Yeah, if you brought us around earlier, we would have chucked some mulch around him. We reckon we could have got him back there. Good health. I would have watered him.

Yeah, watered him. Bit of manure. Some blood and bone. Blood and bone. Yeah, that would help. That helps. Let me just say that also, the Baroness and Booby. Booby.

Never appeared in Tahiti and were never heard from again. There are 100% shot and buried somewhere on that island. Possibly. No, definitely. Flotted out to sea, or maybe yeah, maybe. Yeah, I would have, some of, some results you could bury them. Some right. Some right to the ocean.

There's apparently a type of wood on the island that's easy to get, that it burns hot enough to burn a human corpse, people have said. Wow. So they could have completely disposed of the body. That is very convenient. Someone who was definitely buried on the island is Frederick Ritter, the doctor. So he was buried by the witness, and after this door it decided to head back to Germany.

She'd lived on the island for about five years at this point. It's got no teeth. No teeth. She's back to Germany with her metal chompers. But did she have, so that whatever left over money they have, she's got some enough to get back? Enough to, she went home, yes, and enough money to get home. She went back to her husband?

That would be fucked. Oh, Bobby. Honey, I'm high. His name Robbie is Hans. Hans, Bobby. That would have been, I can only imagine the relief to get back home after five years living like that.

Terrific. This left the widows as the sole inhabitants of the island. We sound like they're also the only ones who were handling it particularly well. Although I mean the ridders lasted five years. It's pretty good but mostly on the the handouts. On the handouts, right. Just a post-criptus to what happened after this crazy period in their lives. This is just the end of the report here.

After Dora left an article written by Dr. Ritter before he died accusing the Whitmers of having something to do with the Baroness's disappearance was published. And this meant that the Whitmers hated Dr. Ritter and Dora forever after that. So if there was any chance of them, obviously, then in LLV in different sides of the world, but if there was any chance of them ever patching things up, that article was published, accusing them of being murderous, and that's sort of real and all that. Dora tried hard to publish her partner, Dr. Riddest philosophical writings. He'd written all these philosophies down, but failed. She did publish her own account of her time in the island in 1935, and a book called

Satan Came to Eden. Oh, okay. That's a great title. Which is the subtitle of the documentary I watch, which I would suggest the Galapagos affair, Satan came to Eden, which is a great title. She died in Berlin, this is Dora in 1943 from complications from her multiple sclerosis.

Ah, right. I forgot she had MS. Yeah, I mean, it's, but it's hard enough to live with proper medical care for many years. So she did extremely well to live in the middle of nowhere, five years in our own. Well, it was just all about her attitude, wasn't it? Correct, Jess.

Her magical attitude fixes everything. Margaret Vittmer published her own book about the island in 1959, so they had competing books that basically implied the other one was a murderer. And they're after refused to speak again about those events. Right. Put in writing, I don't want to talk about it again. Fifty-nine, that's a long time after. Yeah, so she stood on it for a while. She lived on the island until 2000 when she died at the age of 95.

What? Can you believe that? Those kind of conditions that she lived on 95. She sounds like, yeah, they were all over it. What about her kids? Harry, the older one, sadly, he died in a boating accident in the 1950s, he drowned. But then Rolf started a successful boating company. That was the baby that was born on the up 72 hours.

The Whitmers as a family build a hotel for tourists on the island and their descendants still run it today. What? As a couple of years ago, Rolf was still alive. And today the island has a population of about 100. So you can go to Florianna Island. What the fuck? And visit the family.

That's wild. She lives in 95. And I living on a deserted island. Absolutely. That's a legend. Incredible construction. And so what about her husband? Oh, he just lived on.

I don't know. I couldn't tell you what he did. I can't tell you what year he died. Right, okay, yeah. But they stayed together on the island. Yeah, yeah, and they stayed together. Together as a family and just made a goal. For some reason, I was assuming they would have left

at some point. No, but they, no, they're still there. Whoa! That's cool. I did not know that. Yeah, so that's the story of, I guess, the Baroness of Florion. If you went there would it be all like German speaking stuff

and stuff or... I saw an interview with Rolf and he was speaking Spanish, I believe, in the thing, but I imagine he probably speaks German as well. Yeah. Wow. I did not expect that coming, that end. Wow.

So the Baroness is definitely dead, either burnt or buried or out to sea. She's 100% dead, I'm sure. Well, definitely now, but. I was gonna ask what you think happened. Yeah, no, I think, and do you think that Dr. Rida was poisoned or it was just the chicken?

It was just an unfortunate thing. Yeah, it's not that hard, right? She was trying to publish his works. She made it the same like she didn't fully hate him, but I guess. Yeah, I reckon it's that it was just chicken, bad chicken. I mean, we do, we're now experts on the topic, so we should have a pretty strong term opinion on this, definitely the chicken. She just had the right bacteria in her gut. Yeah, I didn't have the, he didn't have the enzymes to break up the meat from not eating meat for such a long time.

That sounds medical, let's go with that. Sounds really good, but what an absolutely crazy story. An amazing story. Well done Dave. Thank you and a part two, a part two, to the other crazy story of the Essex, which if you haven't read, have not read, if you haven't heard me talk about a few weeks ago, that was also a wild story around, vaguely around this island. Can you just quickly explain to me the connection again? Oh, so the Essex was a while hunting ship from Nan Tuckets in America,

and it went to the middle of the ocean to get some whales. They were all extinct in it, pretty much every other part of the world that once had to go to the middle of the ocean to get some whales. Yeah. They were all extinct in it pretty much every other part of the world. That once had to go to the middle of nowhere. And on the way there, they stopped at Florianne Island. Right. Collected all those turtles. And this tortoises. But this is before.

Yeah, 100 years earlier, they were the ones. That was the island that they'd set fire to. Right. And then it all regrown over 100 years. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, but when they left, it was like a blackened husk. Right.

That's amazing. Yeah. I love that. So that oil has two crazy, crazy, like, in a way, survival stories attached to it. I love how an island like that will just regenerate itself somehow. Yeah, because it's a volcanic island, so imagine it's got good soil. Right. You know that.

It's a very good doctor. Mm. Doctor of volcanoes. Yeah, gardener, sorry, gardener. But that does bring us to the end of the report and it is time as always to give thanks to few people that support us on Patreon. If you wanna be one of those people,

one of the great people in the world, you can go to patreon.com slash dogeronpod and in exchange for a bit of a donation every single month, you can get bonus stuff like two bonus episodes that no one else here's which we've been putting in having a lot of fun making over the last couple of years. A lot of those up there to check out and you can get tickets in advance to live shows, shout outs on episodes which will get to in a minute. But before that Matt has a segment that he likes to call the fact quite a question I should say a fantastic report. What a fascinating story Thank you so much And pro bonus reports last month or I can do about best bonus

Episodes for patreon including a jess's report, which I think maybe that is one of the funniest Episodes we've ever done and it's a bonus episode about the Battle of the Sexes. And we also did the Petron Awards where we awarded a few different awards, including best episode, best report, give a best guest. It was a good fun time. We all got on now, but in Monkey Suites. Monkey Suites, that makes me think of Another podcast primates check it out very funny show We should say that the battle of the sexist episode that we did put out as that bonus episode It was so fun and silly because we were recording it live and Birmingham at the glee club at the last minute

The tech had been a bit you know the audio stuff had been a bit dodgy So it looked a bit like we weren't gonna be able to put it out So we kind of said back so I was a bit bummed. I was like, sorry guys could get the recording working out And we decided well if no one's gonna hear it Let's just go out and have have fun and have the sillier show we've ever done Which we certainly did and we said many times the episode well, this isn't going out So we can say whatever we like and then we were able to give the audio to a good friend, Evan Monroe, Smith from Gamy Gamy Gamy, who made it sound great. Yeah. You rescued it. And we thought, you know, we'll put it out for the Patreon people. They can be trusted enough to hear

those the ridiculous things that we were saying. So if you sign up to good, good, stupid. Yeah. God. If you sign up to page on that, that, that absurd is still up there to check out. And yeah, I'd remember it laughing so hard during the recording. Probably never laughed as much as that. Anyway, it's now time for the Patreon segment, which is called Fact Quotal Question. And Jess normally does a little jingle. Fact Quotal Question!

Oh, intense. We need your attention. This week, second time fact-querto question, because there's not that many people in this section of the Patreon, you are more likely to get. Come around again. This time, it is Christopher Shiki, a.k.a. Freaky Shiki. Oh, love it. Freaky Shiki.

Freaky Shiki in the house. And he has asked a question. So is that the title he's gone for? Yeah. Like, give themselves a title. Yeah it in the house. And he has asked a question. So is that the title he's gone for? Yes. Like give themselves a title. Yeah, that's right. Like give myself a title. Last time he said something real weird.

And he called himself the lady killer or something. Oh yeah, and it said, it was like, oh, hang on, now I've said that out loud. All right. Yeah. What was he, the lady killer, a lady stalker or something? Lady killer. Lady killer. Like, so are he the lady? Yeah, Lady Killer, Lady Stalker or something? Lady Killer. Lady Killer.

Like, so are you killing women? No. Or are you like, you picking up the ladies? Because both are grown, one's worse. Hey, you know what? Frankie Shakey, I love it. Let's get that. Frankie Shakey is great.

I did, it in Clarify, maybe privately, that it was because he does very well with the ladies. Uh-huh. Uh. No, wait. Let's go with Freaky Shiggy. Freaky Shiggy is one of my favorites. Freaky Shiggy is so good.

He says, when I was younger, I always wanted to be a paleontologist after watching Jurassic Park. My question for you guys is, when you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up? Oh, hello fellow nerd. I wanted to be an archaeologist. Because of the mummy. Ha ha ha ha.

Brendan Frazier. I knew it. Yeah, I wanted to be an archaeologist, loved all that kind of stuff for a while that I tried to teach myself the alphabet in Egyptian Hieroglyphics. Wow. You would.

I know I got my mom to get a library book out, practiced it. So that's hard. You know, like, oh, two ferns, that's a D. Ha ha ha. Bird doing a dance, it's an A. Bird's standing still. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. it is you know a still picture. Yeah. Is that bad moving? There's no moving lines. There's no lines. There's stink lines.

Sky hold expier. F. Archaeologist. That's great. Yes, I thought I would they still have they still do discover fun stuff but a lot of it has been discovered I must say. Well, back in your day, what would you have liked? Well, I went through a bunch of different stages. I remember at some point,

when it'd be an architect, because I like drawing and someone's like, and back then in the 90s, people weren't like, talking to kids, I wouldn't be as adventurous to say, yeah, you should be honest. They'd be like, drawing okay. Well, how can you make that boring?

But I am, I've still got this. I love to paint. Okay. How can we destroy that for you? Consider being a nurse. I a similar thing we had a project in year seven, where we had to say what we wanted to be. And I gave myself three options. One was a nurse. One was play basketball for Australia. And, uh, I think third was an actor. So. Okay. So let's go to them. How are you, are you on us? No. Have you played basketball for Australia for the Oples? I've played in Australia and means anything to you. Acting work you've done so. Yeah, I was thinking more Hollywood kind of stuff, but how you got to work your way up? Yeah, we did a we at Super Bowl. We did an educational type video last month

and just did a little cameo in it and into the an acting cameo and acting cameo. Fantastic. Thank you so much. You played a professional business you so much played a Professional business professional business woman. Wow. I mean, I find that hard to believe So if a script says business woman you hire Jess per that means that you you must have really Pulled off career to the character. I acted yes. Love it. We also wrote into it So I scripted it and I, I added in this little flashback to, it was going to be, questions always ask, what do you want to be when you go up? So it's sort of appropriate here, but, and they said, it's been asked since the Industrial

Revolution. So did a flashback to then, and as an old guy asking, what do you want to be when you go up? And I go, rat catcher. That ended up in the video. Rat catcher made it. I think we've all achieved our dreams there. That brings us to our other favorite patrons segment of the show.

Dave, this is where we go through and thank you for your other patrons. That's right. We like to thank the people in the order that they signed up as best we can. So, if you have been hanging out, I'm sure you're coming up very soon We appreciate every single person that every week. It's tribute to all of our patrons So we just name six of them. That's true. Six. Yes. That's right. Let's do six Okay, well and Jess We should say was what usually comes up with a game based on the topic

Could they be Baroness's Empraces? Yeah, yeah, let's give them some kind of title. Great. A royal-ish title. A royal-ish. Well, let me kick it off from Wellington in New Zealand, the windy city, beautiful city. I think it's one of my favorite cities

that have been to Mitchell Botting. Botting. Oh, Captain Botting. Oh, captain botting. Oh, I wanted to say kernel. Oh, what about kernel slash captain? What about captain kernel botting? That's great. Captain kernel.

Captain kernel botting from Wellington. Love that. Thank you for your service, captain kernel. We salute you sir. We do salute you and New Zealand, hey, it's on the dream list. It is. For the live shows.

I'm going there in just about a month. Just for a whole lot of time. You got a Wellington? Not going to Wellington. Are you going to Susset Out for us? Going to the South Island. You're going to Susset Out for us? Yes.

The tax reasons, you should say. Yes, I am. It is a business trip. I'm taking my business associate. Oh, Matt. How are you going? Awesome. No, my other business associate. Oh, I'm going are we going? Awesome. No, my other business associate.

Oh, I'm going. Oh my God, no. The other viewer coming. Thanks so much, Mitchell, your bloody legend. I'd also like to thank from Melbourne, a little closer to home here in Melbourne. Georgia Robinson. And he is to you, Georgia Robinson.

So you can say Mrs. Robinson and her title is going to be Mrs. Robinson. No, and I bet she gets Mrs. Robinson a lot. Sorry, Georgia. Oh, you get Ray Charles' Georgia. Both of those. Oh, great songs, but probably annoying if that's your name. What kind of title you feel in for Georgia?

Grand old Duke. Oh, I like that a lot. I love that. Grand old Duke. In Georgia. In Roger Robinson. For short, God. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that took me a lot. I love that grand old juke, George Robinson. For short, God. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that took me a sec to get. God, that's, I mean, it's hard to top that as a title, Georgia. So I hope you're happy with that. With that, Ellen. Put a little, little, little blaspheming for your commute. May I think some people please? I'm so glad you volunteered. Because I would like to thank from Norway. Wow.

You said I like a question but you know more than us. I'm asking if that's Norway. What is? Are you pointing to a map? No. It is Norway. Norway, Tolger. And I'm definitely gonna get this wrong.

Pretty negative, Norway, if I'm being honest. Yeah. Let me ask you a question, I guess. Norway is a big country. We're about in Norway, are we talking? Finmark. Oh, beautiful, beautiful, negative word. Fantastic.

Better to be more specific. Fuck you. Poor, sank, m you. Poor sangman. Poor sangman, which I'm looking up on Google Maps. Looks like it's got a military base there. Oh, okay. Well, this could work into the title. Oh, that's true.

Good, yeah. I'd like to thank, and I know I'm definitely going to say this wrong, and I'm sorry, which Asmond, Nordhagen. Oh, that's a beautiful name. And a beautiful name befitting of a beautiful title. Rigidimage. Rigidimage! Can I just wanna show you on a map where this is

because it is so far north in Norway. So there's Norway. Oh, wow. That's where it is. I would go out and limp to say this is one of, if not our most northerly listener. Wow. That's amazing. Patreon supporter.

Thank you so much. Right near the top. Oh, you'd be seeing beautiful northern. Brigadier. Can we come visit? Oh, I love that. That's amazing. So thank you so much.

It measures very dark this time of year. Brigadier. Brigadier. And I'd also like to thank from Colorado. Come on Dave. Let me get one right. Yeah. You've just got the last one right. True. I am great.

Come on Dave. Let me get all of the right. That's Colorado I reckon. Okay, Google. What does CO stand for in US states? That's it. Here's a summary from CC Marketing Online. CO is a term that you hear about soon after you start looking for ways to get more traffic

to your website. CO is an acronym that refers to search engine optimization. As the term clearly states, it refers to the practice of optimizing or improving your website. That's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study.

It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study.

It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. It's a great study. targets and a terrible scary rocky mountain high and it's also the

high the horse of the airport dammit blucifer it's also the home of Dominic Webster Dominic Webster great name Dominic Webster what about air Marshall who works with that that secret underground airport yeah like that and I like how all of these ones, much like the Baroness are all fake. It's them, this is them dreaming big. Emarshal. Yeah, that's right.

I was born into a fancy family. Yeah, we were like, yeah, let's go for something fun and exotic, like Baroness. Okay, these next two, we're going to go big. I like Air Martial. What is Air Martial? Is something important? Yeah, it's a martial of the Air. It's a martial of the Air. It's the second highest active rank of the Royal Australian Air Force. Oh, that is pretty good. There you go.

Pretty bloody good. Martial of the Air, more like martial of the Air. Just trying to say the same things as you go. Pretty bloody good. Marshall of the air, more like Marshall of the year. Yeah. Just trying to say the same things as you now. Appreciate it. I would like to thank you, Vimey, from a whereverby here in Victoria, Emilyne Oksowski. Oksowski. Emilyne Oksowski, thank you so much for your support.

And I would like to say one of my favorite ranks of all time is of course the dreaded rear admiral. Oh. Why they dreaded? It's a Simpson's. Sorry, that's just put in there. But just a rear admiral, Emily and Oxaowski. Is that because where it be is kind of famous for being a serious treatment plant?

No, I just really wanted to call someone a rear admiral. It's also got a, it's home to a great wildlife park. Oh, open range, too. Yeah, I've been there. Had a great time. And a mansion. Yeah, I'm John played there. What?

Yeah. Cool. Yeah, Emily, and I hope you did not miss your chance to hang out. Where we, where we sick. It's funny because I, like because I wouldn't have gone there growing up and the only thing I knew about it was like doing jokes about it being a stinky place, but I'm guessing they've fixed up whatever issues that is.

Wow, are you appreciating this, thanks. Hey, I come from a stinky sub. But hey, it's not so stinky now. Hey, you fixed up your stinky issues. So sorry, I love it. It's a great spot. Love the West. West is best.

Well, I mean the effluent ace is of course the best, but there you go. I would actually think. The effluent ace and the effluent West. Elephant West. Do I have elephants of where he's at? I do. Did you say that recently, effluent? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one of my new bits.

And didn't you say immediately afterwards? I think I stole that from Kathankim? They definitely had. They say in Kathankim, I think there was a running gag that they say effluent when they meant affluent. Right, right, right. All right, just to bring us home now, I would like to thank from Erskine in Great Britain. I would like to thank Yusuf Shavid. Oh my goodness. Yusuf Havid. Did you give him your chills? They're multiplying.

Oh, now what are we gonna call Yusuf Shavid? The mega mix. Is that a title you can have? Where'd that come from? Grace. DJ Mega Mix? Greece Mega Mix? You guys are not familiar?

It's a big hit. You guys are under the Greece Mega Mix. When were you born? You know when we were born. We tell you constantly. I know. And this is you every two days. I know you do say sometimes, like,

how would I have heard of it? I wasn't even born yet. Like, you've never heard of things from before the 90s. Yeah, that's true. So you don't know the film Grace. What's that? What you was at what you did that come out? I think in the 80s. No idea then. For the 70s. I was born in 1990 and that's when time began. Right. To me. Wow. That's cool. Yeah. That's when the world began. We still have not given a title to use a massive mega mix.

Oh, we're going with that. What about mixed mixed master? Yeah, MC. Yes. Mix master, MC, use of Harvard. That's cool. MC, mixed master. I can put MC first.

I like it. MC, mixed master, Harvard. Holy shit. I like it. MC Mix Master Harvard. Holy shit, I've got it at that party. Please, is he DJing at Werribee? No, no, he's not DJing, he's just gonna be out of it. He's a great host. Yeah, he's a great host, he is. The Werribee Mansion.

Put a good array out of chips and dips. Yeah. Oh, nice selection of cheeses. Yeah, it's possible for him, please. And you love cheese, Dave. I love cheese. So, we're gonna have that party. I'll eat them all. Okay, no Dave. I love cheese. So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So,

So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So,

So, So, So, So, So, So, So, Yeah, fanceter. I'm hard all the way. Right, noted. That does bring us to the end of the episode. Thanks to all the supporters of Patreon and to everyone that listen to the show, you make our world. And of course, as we sometimes say here, to remind you that if you want to suggest a topic, you don't have to be a Patreon supporter, you can do that at any time. Do go on pod.com. For those who are on Patreon, we've also got the Facebook group on there, so make sure when you sign up to add yourself into the Facebook group, you'll find links amongst the posts on there, and you can get in contact with us if you want to at do go on pod on Instagram,

Twitter, Facebook, at Gmail, if you wanna get on the email. If you can, and if you got the time, it'd be so cool for you to give us a five star review, give us a drop us a line there, five stars would be ideal if you can, and also, if you wanna just recommend us to a friend, that'd be a real cool thing.

We say that every now and then, and we know some of our cool fans who have chatted to a bunch got into the show because they were recommended to it from a friend or a family member. They even like download the app for people who don't understand podcasting and subscribe. Those are generally met at some live shows people

who had to have a podcast that put on their phone for them. And then they end up coming to the show. So nice. Anyway, that's something coming to the show. So nice. Anyway, that's something you could do if you want to, if you don't want to do it, I mean, we don't have to just keep chatting about it. Matt, just take a big dip breath. It's okay, I know you get fired up.

You did great. You did so well there. Okay. I just became self-conscious during, I've been talking for so long. Yeah, we let you go. Yeah, I couldn't remember a time when you weren't talking.

It does make you uncomfortable. Yeah. It's okay, you did great. Yeah, but it is true. The more people you tell about the show, the bigger and better it can get. And the more time we can spend on it. So thanks, everyone, does that? But that does bring us to the end.

Yeah, drop us a line. Say hi. It's always nice to hear from you. But until next week, I'll say thanks for listening. And I'll say goodbye. Waiters. Bye! I regret say thanks for listening and I'll say goodbye! Waiters! Bye! I regretted that as soon as I started.

Really went for it. Sorry. That was nice. Hello, everybody, my name is Dave. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit Planet Broadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you want, it's up to you. This episode is brought to you by Progressive.

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