Do Go On - 175 - Rihanna (with Naomi Higgins)

Episode Date: February 27, 2019

Fan favourite Naomi Higgins is back to report on one of the best selling singers of her generation, Rihanna. From humble beginnings in Barbados, we hear how Rihanna rose to super stardom and became a multi-threat... singing, acting, fashion'ing... But can Naomi convince Dave to like Rihanna?Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSubmit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Book tickets to Matt's stand up mattstewartcomedy.com/gigs  Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader Thomas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

And welcome to another episode of Duggan. My name is Dave Warnackie. And as always, I'm sitting here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello. Hello, I'm sitting in a different spot to normal and I can touch both of your knees at once. Here I go. Hello. That was too erotic.

Sorry. That was the right level, I thought. Yeah. And Jess is sitting in her erotic position because we are joined by a special guest Naomi Biggin. It's me again. I'm back. Back after the critical acclaim your last guest spot earned you. I can't wait to disappoint everyone this time.

You're an award-winning guest host. I am. You won a Golden, shiny, Gary Award. Which is the Dugawan Awards for best guest hosts of last year. That makes it sound like I got a trophy. I didn't get anything. Did you not get it? I got to record a message to send to you.

Yeah. That was it. That's your trophy. Okay. No, the trophy's in the mail. Damn, Australia Post struck again. Yeah, I said that. So, sorry.

Months ago, I'll chase that up. What does it look like? It looks like a little person. Named Gary. Yeah. And it's shiny. It's the head of a Gary on the body of a shineberg. Does that answer your question?

I mean, I can't think, we can be clearer. We cannot be clearer. Yeah. It was a bit of a silly question really on your part. It was dumb of me. Fairly self-explanatory. So your last report was on Tommy Wazzo's film The Room. Yes.

The masterpiece. Which was so much fun. And since then, your report went so well. I don't know if I should put it down just to that. But since then, your podcast, batch bitch that you do with Danielle Walker has since joined the Planet Broadcasting Network. And I can only, congratulations and welcome. Welcome.

Thank you. I only think it is because of your fantastic work talking about the room. I have to agree. Yeah. I mean, I think half of our 10 listeners come from two go on. So I'm pretty grateful. Let's get it up to 15.

Yes. Woo! That is a lot of fun, your show. Thank you. You've listened to it. Yes. Really? You're talking about Marited.

Listen to the first ever episode. But I don't watch the... Possibly the worst one. I don't watch the Bachelor TV shows. But now I learned from you, really, that you've since moved on to Married at First Side. Yes, you might be aware that The Bachelor is not currently airing. Yes, yeah. Which didn't leave us much to do.

Yeah. So we just kind of flound it about for a while. And then we were like, great. There's more people suffering on reality TV for the consumption of the public. Yeah. Get us in there, baby. A lot more painful, I would say. Yeah.

It's four episodes a week. That's too many. Yeah, it's brutal. it's killing you. And they're all so sad. It's not like The Bachelor where everyone's like, it's really overproduced and you get to go on dates. Otherwise you're just kind of like locked up in a mansion.

So you just like make the most of it. It's they just take people who aren't suited for each other. And then they just make them live together and throw cameras in their face. They don't even pretend that it's like they're perfect for each other. This one feels like. They pretend. Yeah. I mean, thinly veiled.

Right. Some of them seem all right, but most of them are just, yeah, awful. Matt, they've got relationship experts who have paired them up with people that are a perfect match for them, or the complete opposite. And then they just let them go. Yeah, they've absolutely put people together just specifically. I think last year, two people almost cheated. So this year they've just like forced it so that people will cheat on each other. Hey, if you don't cheat, you're fine.

I spoke to your boss and you have to cheat. So sorry. Not fired from the show, fired from your day job. And your family will disown you. I've had a chat to them too. They're expecting you to cheat. You'll have nothing. You'll have nothing.

In the will. So, get us your mother to cheat. Yeah, it's really sad. It's very sad. This isn't the topic you've brought to us today, is it by chance? That would be great. I'm here to talk about the show I talk about every week that I hate. You're already an expert on it.

That would be good go, right? Yeah. Now, we should mention before we get into the episode that we have some live shows coming up. Of course, Adelaide is not far away now. March 10, we are coming for our first ever live podcast in Adelaide. Matt will already be there for the Fringe Festival doing his stand-up show, which we'll talk about in just a second. And then at the end of March, we are doing the Comedy Festival in Melbourne,

four shows on Saturday afternoons at the European Beer Cafe. Those shows are always some of the most fun we've ever done, so we hope to see you down there. And also we announced last week that we are heading overseas again, not to Europe this time, but to Asia, or as Matt would say. Asia. We are doing very similar. I don't understand why you're.

What are you even asking me to do that. We are part of the Kosoamui International Podcast Festival with Fantastic. Our friends and podcasts is the Little Dum Dum Club. We're going to be doing at least two live podcasts and some stand-up shows and some other surprises, live on the beach, Kosovoi, which is a tropical island and Thailand. My goodness. We should really see if we could get a barge offshore in international water. Sorry, a barge.

A pot in international waters is still on the dream list. And so is doing a pot on the beach. So we're ticking that off. Amazing. Yeah, it's really weird. It's such a weird idea that I can't believe it is an actual thing. But it should be fun. And also, like Dave said, I'm going to be in Adelaide doing my showbone drive for two weeks.

I leave in a couple days, I think. And you can find out details about that at Matt Stewartcom. slash gigs. If use the code, do go on you at discounted tickets. I think opening nights are cheaper anyway. And then I go straight to Brisbane for a week for the Brisbane Comedy Festival and then straight back to Melbourne for a month at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival before going to Sydney for the Sydney Comedy Festival.

You are a busy bullet. And details for all that are on that website, Matt Stewartcom,com, slash gigs. Use the discount code. Do go on. Dave Warnocky helped me do it. I was in Perth a couple weeks ago and had a great time there. Met a quite a few do-go-on listeners, which is cool. Sold a few primates beanies.

Nice. In Perth. People are like going, I don't know when I will wear this, but maybe for that cold week in the middle of the year. There's nice people who care about you. They look good. They all put them on and look real good. Very cool. Yeah.

All right. Now, let's get on with it. All right. So you had the room last time, which you brought with a lot of passion because you're such a big fan of that. Yes. Have you brought something that you were also a big fan of? Um, this is something I'm a fan of. It's, um, I feel like last time was about entertainment.

This time I'm just trying to do some activism. Um, there's a few people who I think are really underrated and people don't appreciate how amazing they are. Andre, were you? So this is someone that I think deserves a lot more appreciation. Oh, I like that. Princess Anne. Sylvester Stallone.

Oh, sly. Have you, wait, is this the question? What's the question? I didn't ask a question. Does that answer? Does that answer your question? Yes. Matt is a great interviewer.

He really puts people. people off. They sort of let down their guard. But he says, sorry, is this the question? I don't know. I'm on your show. He's very disarming. Okay, yes, I did do the murder. Got him. Boom. Well done, Matt. You've struck again.

So my interview, you mean interrogate. Yeah. You're a real Louis Thru. Yeah. Louis three. Yeah, I feel really at ease. I feel ready to open up. Really it is. Sorry, what? Oh, what question?

So, if you are joining us for the first time, basically, what the show is, usually the three of us take it in terms to do a report on a topic. The others don't know what it's going to be today. The three of us don't know what your topic, Naomi, that you've brought with is going to be. So we're very excited and we usually get onto that topic with a question that you ask. And when it's just the three of us all competing for the answer, we get quite competitive. Am I right, Jess? Yeah, sure.

Can I just... Yeah, me, Captain Competitive. Can I take your microphone away from you? No. Because I need this. I feel like my question's too. Like, you're just going to have to Google it. Love it.

All right, great. Phones are the ready. I can Google it first. This is not something I planned, but... Yep, all right. I mean, I don't want to break the illusion of the podcast, but this isn't being recorded on the day that it comes out. But whose birthday is it today?

Whose birthday is today? 20th of February? He's asking his phone. It's letting him down. Ivana Trump? No. Trump's ex-Y. Hang on, I'm going to get an I.

April 20th. No. I'm going to go to AMD, IMDB, because it has a list of people's birthdays today. It would be someone who might come up on IMDB. I found it like within 10 seconds when I just did it as a second ago. Julia Roberts. It is Rihanna.

I've landed on October 28th birthday. Why don't you know how to Google? What's going on? He's a hundred years old. Let me just read some other. And it came up with 28th of October. Google's broken. I just read some other famous birthdays from today that, I mean, wouldn't make quite as fun reports.

Kurt Cobain. Well, that could be all right. Cindy Crawford. Bad endings. Trevor Noah. Okay. Charles Barkley, the round amount of rebound. Ah.

55 today. Happy birthday to the round mound. Yeah, I did not know it was her birthday today when I started this. I was just scrolling on Twitter halfway through making the report today. I've forgotten. Who are we talking about it? Rihanna. Rihanna.

Yeah. Yeah. Also, I thought about doing other people like Anne Hathaway and Christian Stewart, who I also feel like are underappreciated. Would it be correct to say that Rihanna was born in Barbados? No, it would be correct to say she was born in Barbados. Oh, interesting. Got him on a slight technical.

Babados. It sounds like you're saying Babadook. She was actually born in the Babadook. I knew it. Yeah, I actually looked through the hat and there was like, you have a lot of suggestions in there. Yeah. Was Rihanna in there? No.

Certainly not. Interesting. Several thousand suggestions. So you said, also thinking about doing Anne Hathaway or Kristen Stewart. I know Anne Hathaway does a lot of activism kind of work. Well, it's a bit different because I think people don't hate Rihanna, but I don't think they appreciate her enough,

whereas I think people hate Anne Hathaway and Kristen Stewart when they're actually both great people and very talented. What does Kristen Stewart do that's so great? That sounded awful. I just mean like, does she have a passion side project I don't know about? No, she's just really good actor, and I think she's a good person, but people just hate her because she was in twilight. Yeah, sure, okay.

And I don't think they think about why they hate her. You know what I mean? And Anne Hathaway is, I would say, she's America's Delta Goodrum. Oh, my God, yes. She's too sincere and people just can't hack it. Yeah. They're just like, hmm, this woman likes herself.

I hope she dies. You kind of mean, in a way, that Delta Goodrum is Australia's Anne Hathaway. No, I know what I said. Yeah, it doesn't work the other one. But actually Ian Hathaway is having a bit of a renaissance. So I'm very excited for her. Renan sons.

Wow. Renan sons. But anyway, we're going to here to talk about Rihanna. I want to play devil's advocate for a second year. Okay, bitch. Sorry, I'm coming in hot. Well, you're going to hate me here because you were talking about how some people don't appreciate how good she is as a person.

I'm hoping that you will enlighten me because I'm not a big Rihanna fan. I must have. Oh, how come? I just don't like any of it. I've never heard a song that I've liked. I find them quite annoying. Wow. Out of all the pop stars out there, all the,

the big, the superstars. Yeah. You're Taylor Swift's. You're Britney Spears of old. You're Adel's. So you like white women. So you're Adele. Adele.

Adele. There's only one Adel. Yeah, there's only one. Adele's my number one. She's my number one. You like Adele? Yeah, but really like sad music. Probably, that's probably what it is.

Rihanna's probably a little too upbeat for me. Yeah, I don't like music that has like any sort of emotion in it. So that's why I like party music. Because I'm like, don't make me feel who you, you don't know me. Yeah. Don't make me think about things. I don't like love songs. I'm alone forever. No, my.

I thought, yeah, I'm surprised. I thought Rihanna was just sort of universally loved. She is loved. She's universally loved. But I think people just think she's just a pop star. Right. Whereas I think she's a, what's the word? A Renaissance woman. She's like a hyphenate, multi-hyphenate.

Ooh. I just think she's very talented at everything she does. Right. Great. Triple threat or more I'd say more Wow Yeah more than three

I just having more than three things you're good at I just can't imagine that My imagination is not one of my I'm going to think of one Hang on No leave it with me Oh yeah we'll come back to Justin the end of the episode Are you talking about yourself or Rihanna

Me I'd call you a threat Jess That's a tough one A threat physically To me Physically Yeah absolutely I'm much bigger than you You are on

When you achieve something I'm like, you're leg pressing people's body weights. My own. Yeah. You're on many watch lists. I'm proud of that. Yeah.

It's true. I will be forever. Yeah. I assume that's why you keep telling us. Yeah. Like, I get that relatively private and I only really told you guys. Ah.

But now it's out there and the people need to know. I can leg press my own body weight. Hell yeah. Is that kind of what? And it's only going to go up in weight. Not me, hopefully. You know,

I'll stay about the same, but my leg's ability. When you're walking, you're sort of leg pressing your own body weight every step. You just diminish my achievements. I can do that. You can walk. Congratulations. You're bigger than a toddler. Thank you.

I only just. Thank you. Thank you so much. Anyway, Rihanna. Rihanna. Please, I'm excited to hear about it. Oh, you said she's a renaissance woman. And that's really close to Rihanna.

Rihanna's son's woman. Is that what you were thinking? Yes. Yeah. Good match. Good match. Why? You don't have to pat me.

Who's a good mat? Okay, here I go. I don't know. I'm nervous. Robin Rihanna Fenty was born on the 20th of February. Oh. I feel this is Robin. Robin.

That was already taken by the Swedish singer. 1998 in St. Michael Barbados. She grew up in a three. Sorry, could you pronounce? That's it right. Babados. Thank you. She grew up in a three-bedroom bungalow in Bridgetown

and sold clothes with her father in a stall on the street. She had two brothers, two half-sisters and a half-brother from her father's side, each born to different mothers from his previous relationships. Wow, how many... That's a lot of relationships. I'm just impressed. Well, she has two four brothers and then three half-siblings. Someone who struggles to maintain one, I'm impressed.

Maintain one mother. Yeah. Mama, I'll visit you one day. Visit you. Woo. Gosh, it's hard to maintain. Her childhood was deeply affected by her father's addiction to crack cocaine and alcohol, which contributed to her parents' strained marriage.

My God, he's a busy guy. He's a double threat. Crack cocaine and alcohol? Well done. It's hard enough to keep up one relationship with a debilitating substance. I'm going to visit you one day. Mom also has a debilitating substance addiction. That is not true.

Oh, boy. Allegedly. I think that gets you out of the anything. Everything I've ever said is a legend. That's funny. In 2003, when she was 15, she formed a musical trio with two of her classmates. She was discovered in her home country of Barbados by an American record producer, Evan Rogers. Without a name or any material,

the girl group managed to land an audition with Rogers who commented, the minute Rihanna walked into the room, it was like the other two girls didn't exist. No material. Hey man, you've got to check on my band. All right, what's it called? We're not.

All right, what are you going to play? We don't know. Have a look, we'll stand here for a bit. Do you think we got it? Rihanna walked into the room and he goes, she's got it. Other two out. That's amazing.

That's what happened. Oh, sucks for the other two. I reckon you can sing. Just looking at you, I can tell. You've got good pipes. Well, this next sentence, I was like, hmm, okay, Rihanna went to Rogers Hotel Room, where she performed renditions of Destiny's Child Mariah Carey songs.

He just brought up the karaoke machine and said, have a go. Yes. Have a gun. At that point, you're wondering if he's a real producer, right? Yeah, come sing for me in my hotel room. Yeah, again, she's 15 at this point. That's feeling like.

a real scam. I was going to say scam, but maybe scoundrel. Scoundrel. I splurged on a good karaoke machine. It's got every song you can think of. We'll admit it to like 10 songs. What do you want to hear? I got it. It's like doing a stand-up comedy

audition for like a big management group and you don't even say anything and they go, you're great. Come back to the hotel. You look funny. Come back to the hotel. We'll Google some jokes. Yeah. We'll Google some jokes. Here's a YouTube video. of a famous comedian. Yeah, can you read out these Mitch Headberg choices?

Yeah, you got it. You got it, kid. What would be the karaoke equivalent? You'd have to take out all the words from the joke. What's the karaoke leaving in? The applause? Or the sign-fell face? And the words are coming across the screen.

You've got to be in time. Hey, guys, watch the deal with fridges. I love that joke That's my favorite one The fridges joke Gives a punch one What's the punch time that day Great setup

It was on the whole time I love that joke I've got a print of it in my living room You would And a tattoo on my butt It's funny and inspirational Yeah And it's a reminder to me

To keep striving And one day maybe I can be that good People could know you as the fridge joke Guy That's a bloody dream All right, we all want to be the fridge joke guy We all can't be the fridge joke guy, you know

Don't shit on my dream I'm sorry My dreams are my dreams So I choose to have my dreams I'm sorry I didn't know This is a dream-fushing podcast What is this the dream police over here? Yeah

Oh weo, weo No dreams for you Yeah, come on Back to the 9 to 5 grind You nerd No, I choose to dream That's actually exactly what this record exec Iseked to two other women

Go get nine to five jobs. Back to the grind, ladies. We're 15. Which is year nine, by the way. Yeah. We're going back to biology class. To be honest, it's a bit weird that you came and we auditioned at our school. Yeah.

That's crazy. Why did the principal agree to this? This is not safe. The 15-year-old girl in our hotel room, in 2019, I'm like, oh, but I think it's fine. But in 2003, that's fine. Yeah. This is 2003. Okay.

Yeah, it was a long time ago. Different time. It's just before people figured out. you could get up to weird shit in hotel rooms. Yeah. And Barbados. No one knew you could have sex in a hotel room yet. Yeah.

I remember when I found out you could. I was like, wait, what? Are you joking? And then I, yeah, it's the same with me. And I was like, oh, there's a bed. Yes. Been sleeping in the fridge this whole time. It was on the whole time.

Now it's actually farming. Here's what happened. I'll explain it. for everyone. Place for that set up there, Matt. That's set up there, Matt. A great double act. Jess, you're out.

I'm going to keep dreaming. The regular exec doesn't think you've got it. Dave, please, you're the Michelle. We all know that. Hey, I'm the Michelle. I'm the Michelle. I'm the Beyonce Noles. You are not Beyonce Niles.

You're the Kelly Rowland, and I do not take stick from Kelly. Yeah, fair. She doesn't even talk at the meetings. Yeah, all right. Yes, she does. It's just Beyonce going solo.

Naomi. She lets us. Kelly talk. She doesn't let Michelle from. God no. Wait, what? Do go on. Okay. Impressed by this audition, Rogers scheduled a second meeting with her mother present. I'm a fan of that part. And then invited her to his hometown in the United States to record tapes to be sent to record labels. She recorded a demo over the next year intermittently, but on school holidays because she still had school. I love that. Yeah.

That's so good. It doesn't make you feel like you started your career way later than you could have? Yeah. Absolutely. So depressing. Ponder replay and the last time with two of the tracks recorded, which were eventually in her debut album, the same year she was signed to his production company. The demo was shipped to Def Jam Records where Jay-Z was a new CEO.

He heard her recordings. And the first time he heard Ponder replay, he felt that the song was too big for her. Okay. What does that mean? Hey, you can't question a legend like that. Right, that's true. You would say that, Beyonce.

You've got to adapt. To him, he doesn't adapt to you. Make the song smaller. Too big head? I can make it, I could cut off 20 seconds at the end. Take out the trumpet. Just make the song 28% smaller. Okay, sure.

Then. Dial-Dak a little. Then we'll tour. But until then, I've got to go shoot some hoops. Yeah. With some of my famous friends. Baller, right. There you go.

Is he a baller? Not that I knew all. He's one of the coolest guys on the planet. Basketball is cool? Basketball is the coolest. Andrew Gays? What makes you think of good? Mark Brankke?

Does that make you think? cool. Jess Perkins plays basketball, I'll have you know. That's true. And she can leg press her entire body body. I don't know if you know that. I do know that. And I, yeah, Andrew Gays and Mark Braggie are both very cool.

Thank you. Policy accepted. Please do go on. I named a goldfish after Andrew Gaze. Anyway, please do go on. I don't know who any of these people are. That's because you're uncool. Yes.

Sorry, you had to find out this way. Awkward. Ha ha. Despite being skeptical, he invited Rihanna to audition for the label. So she auditioned for him and L.A. Reed, who's a music mogul. And then he was like, she is big enough. Oh, it's good he decided that. Yeah.

She looks so small in those, far down. She's just looking at a thumb that. She's so little. Why she's so small? She's tiny. Also, Jay-Z can't operate a computer. He's like a CEO has no idea what he's doing. But he's only ever used Mac and they are a Windows company.

He's kind of like, how do I log into my email? It's embarrassing for the CEO to ask how to log into an email. So he just doesn't have an email. There was other photos on his computer and they were all of like Andre the Giant. He's like, yeah, no, she's tiny. Look at her. Well, he's shooting hoops with a shack at the time. In comparison, she looked on.

He held the photo up next to Shaq in real life. Yeah, she is fitting in my hand. I don't know how we're going to, how do we get her array? Around places. Arenas are out. People aren't even going to be able to see her. Do we just transport her in a little jar? Put some holes in it?

What do we do? The logistics are a nightmare. She's only 16, but she's tiny. You don't need to get her a hotel room, though, I suppose. When do girls have a grass bird again? You can just mail her around, put her in one of those canisters. Yeah. Like a couple of air holes in?

Yeah, you'd be right. One of those, like, poster tubes. Is that what you were thinking? Yeah. There's holes in it, Amy. We're not monsters. She can breathe. Yeah, it'd be fun.

Put her in a little like a Zorb ball. Yeah. That'd be fun. You could just throw her across the country. Oh, that's great. You could roll her. It'd be like a fun ride that doesn't end. Ever.

They open up the ball at the next stop and she has crushed to death. She has vomited everywhere. It's a real mess in there. We should have got science involved. While transporting this tiny pop star No one questions the CEO No, Mr. Z, no worries Mr Z, can I call you that?

Please. Please, call me Jay-Z Mr Z was my father. L.A. Reader's also impressed with her audition and told Jay-Z not to let Rihanna leave the building until a contract was signed. That's terrible. Is her mother there? This is weird.

She's seven. at this point. She was there for six months. Hiding out diehard style. She's in the ventilation. Now I have a machine gun. I'm not signing, Mr. Zed. Well, you're not leaving. Jay, Bobby.

Bobby. She sat in Jay Z's office until three in the morning. Why? Until lawyers drafted up the contract so that she couldn't go. She had meetings. with other record labels and so she cancelled all her other meetings. Like, did they cancel them or did she cancel them?

She's in a real strong position to negotiate at that point. Yeah. What, you're going to sign me to matter what? Well, I want more money then. But you're 17. She probably doesn't know that much about the in- What are you offering me? 20 bucks?

Make it 30. That's a lot. Nothing gets past you. I'd be stoked with that at 17. I'd be sorry about now, to be honest. If someone was like, we'll give you 30 bucks. I'd be like, thank you. I hate that. One of my favorite stories about LeBron James basketball superstar is when he was still in high school, and they all knew that he was going to be the next big thing.

Reebok flew him out from his house in Ohio. He grew up not a very wealthy area. They flew him out and they said, if you sign with the Reebok now, we'll give you $10 million. And he was going back to high school. And he backed himself enough to say, no, I think I'll get a better deal later on. Oh, my God. You had to go back, knowing you've knocked back 10 million. and just hope that one day Nike, which they did, offered you more money.

Wow. And it was like 10.5 million. Yeah, he's like, this is so worth it. Far out. Again, happily would take 10 mil. Reh, are you listening? I would not even ask around. I wouldn't play it cool.

I'd be like, yes! Where do I saw it? I'd have to go to the bathroom to vomit a little bit. Oh, I'd definitely vomit. And then I'd be straight onto real estate.com looking for my first home. And I'd probably buy something quite small and shitty Because that's just what I'm used to Put me in a mansion, I'll panic, I'll get lost

What'll I do? They'll be like, Jess, you can get this house And you're like, don't deserve it. No, no thank you. I'll have this one with a sink kind of doesn't work. Yeah, just a studio for me, thanks. I don't deserve a bedroom. Sorry, not about me.

Anyway. So she signed the sixth album contract. Six, that's huge. And move from Barbados to the United States to live with Rogers and his wife. Okay. He's wife there? No, I know. I just think like, I mean, put her up in a little place, you know?

Well, I don't think they've made any money yet. And also she's a kid still. So you'd be like, let's help feed her and stuff. They do that with footy a lot where like a young player comes to the club. They'll end up living with an older player and his family or someone who works at the club or something. I think it's just sort of trying to make it. So they're still in that family dynamic for a bit longer? Because that would like, imagine throwing someone into superstardom at 17 without any guidance.

I got to tell you from experience, it's rough. I would believe you're a child star. Oh, yeah. You're a child star written a love. Was it a commercial at 10 years old? It was. For what? Saving energy.

And I had a terrible song, Hit that switch, Mitch. Ride your bike, Mike. Way to go, Joe. I would say the future's in our hands and as we're saying that, my face, my giant forehead popped into the show. Is that available on YouTube? My parents have it on video. I've talked about it before on the show and a few people have tweeted. Can you?

I'll try and find it. Yeah, please do. I love it. But yeah, you've got the complex of it, of someone who had early success. What do you mean? Like a drug habit? What kind of complex do we talk? I know, what kind of complex?

Maybe do go on. She spent the next three months recording and completing her debut album, and in May 2005, released it with the single Ponder Replay, which peaked at top five in 15 countries. I don't think I know that one. Yeah, you do. It's banging tune. I thought her big one was umbrella.

I thought that was the first one. The first one, no, sorry, the first big one I thought was the cover of that. You would know Ponder Replay if you heard it. Mr. DJ's on Pondy replay. Mr. D. I don't know. That is music to my ears. I like what I'm hearing, but I don't know it.

Yeah, she created mumble rap. Yeah, so she released that under her mononym, Rihanna. Didn't know that word. Mononym. Mononym, that's fun to say. And she took the middle. Mononim. Yeah, good.

She took the middle of the three names. Well, there's already a thing called Robin. And some would call it a middle name. Hmm, interesting. I call it the meat and a sandwich name. You call it the middle of the three names. I like meat in the sandwich. That's nice.

Great or disagree. Bop. So that was... What's your meat name? Oh, God. Yeah. Sounds like what the name of your dick is. Yeah.

What's your meat name? Charles. I haven't Charles. Wow, they're nice names. Thank you. Classy. A couple classy chops of here. Naomi and I have classy dicks.

Mine's just meat. How bad is that one? Meat, meat, mate. When did you say meat? I just imagine it like slapping down on the table. There are like people do call, is that an Australianism calling a dick a chop? Get your chop out?

Oh, I've not heard that. Flop your chop? You haven't heard flop your chop? I've never heard that. I don't know what, where you're hanging out. I think about the stewardism. Flop your chop. You haven't heard that.

That might be a, that might be a, we've, a Marabin term, I'm not sure. Before our time, maybe. We've been looking for new t-shirt design. And I can flop your chop. He's a front runner. How upsetting, hey.

Yeah, it's, it feels like it's of a different time. Yeah. What's the picture that goes with it? It's either a chop. A chop. Or it's Matt getting his dick out, but the dick is blurred.

But it's very clear Matt's got his dick out. I remember one time when we were probably about 18, And we're covering our eyes. 18 or so, one of our friends, we're at a nightclub. And one of our friends got a tattoo on his leg. And someone else to see it. And everyone was pretty drunk. So he's pulled his pants down to show it wearing boxer shorts.

He didn't realize his. His chop was just hanging. He flopped his chop. And people are going, he's flopped his chop out. He doesn't even realize it. Where was the situation at a nightclub? There's at an old nightclub called Wild Bills. That's exactly the type of thing to happen at Wild Bill.

Yeah, totally. He was sitting on, it was on a booth with like fake cow skin cushions. So, yeah. He's flopped his chop. Was he kicked out? I can't believe flop your chop. There's someone out there who's heard flop your chop before. Yeah, Wild Bill.

Don't make me Google it. Wild Bill. Yeah, he's in prison because he can stop flopping his chop. It's out of business, I think. bills. No. What do I? That is true.

It was a nightclub at the, on the edge of a Westfield shopping center. Everything about it was classy. That's where you know, best restaurants. To be honest, I reckon that probably wouldn't have been the first chop that was flop. No, I think so. It's like all the nightclubs that are at Knox Ozone. Right.

Oh, there's multiple. That's where you want to get. You can go on a pub crawl inside a shopping center. Yeah, it's good. It is good. Wild Bills is now a TGI-I Fridays. Oh, even better. TGI not Wild Bill.

Yeah. Am I right? Oh, boy. Everyone get flop and chops. In August 2006, after her album, she made her acting debut in the straight-to-d-d-d-video film, Bring It On All On. Nothing. Oh. Was she in that?

Yeah. How many brig-it-ons were there? Surprisingly, yeah, a few. But I only saw the first one and the third one, which is the one Rihanna is in. I remember me, my friends liked it, and she's at the end, and it's like a competition to be in her music video. Oh. So she's playing yourself?

Yeah. Did she bring it? Oh, she brought it. Was it brought? She told everyone to bring it on. Did she bring it all? Or did she bring it nothing? I'd have to say all.

Yeah. I would have thought. that from her. Yes. She's not a bring-it-nothing kind of gal. She's not. No. She's not.

She immediately started to work in a second album. And it was the first one to go platinum after selling a million units. And its lead single, SOS is her first Billboard number one. That's the one that samples the song I was thinking of. Right. Was that from a movie like Disturbia? No, there was a song called Disturbia, wasn't there? Yeah, that was the one from Disturbia.

Yeah, that makes sense. Other singles were unfaithful. You remember that one? Oh, very pointedly asking you, Dave. You did say you're about monogamy. I don't know why I'm asking him when he's like, I don't know any about music. You're so unfaithful. Sound track to your life, Dave.

As if you could get anyone else. Oh, come on. If I wanted to be, I could be the number one player. I don't think you could at all. I don't think I could either. Definitely not. You should have the time, to be fair. Yeah, that's true.

Very busy boys. That's why I always wonder about people with extra families and stuff. Yeah, when they're like, they had a whole secret family in a different city. It's like, how? That is impressive. The admin would be a nightmare. You'd have to have two separate Google calendars, first of all. So annoying.

Unbelievable. Yeah, I reckon that's the one reason to not do it. It's the only reason. The admin. Admin. Admin. Oh. We ride and break it off.

See, what I'm trying to get across here is all these songs are iconic. Okay. Well, I heard of some of them. The first one, I've heard of the first one. Yeah. Break it off. SOS. I think you might be thinking of the Abba song.

Oh, yeah. Lots of hits. Yeah. She could play. We ride is like, we ride. She's still making hits today. That's the quay. I can't wait to get the end of this report.

See if she's still with us. Her birthday was today. Did she live to see it? Yeah. Was it also her death day? Well, we'll find out tomorrow. Her happy death day. Happy birthday.

It's a good movie. In 2006, she created the Believe Foundation to help terminally ill children. That's nice. Yeah. What, terminally ill children are nice? Oh, the foundation. You're monster. Come on, come on.

Scum boy. I think that that sounds like a nice thing to do is what I'm saying. Interesting. I want to go on the record. I don't know. I don't believe you. My respect levels are raising, I'm telling you.

I don't know how young she was. I'm feeling a bit depressed that she's only two years older than Jess and I. Yeah. That does hurt a little bit. Right. But imagine if you were like five years older than her. You would just want to die. Absolutely.

You would just think. Weird thing. I can't even imagine it. Everyone's on their own path. And some parts are just shit, you know? Imagine if you're old enough to be her dad. Well, no. Her dad could probably.

Yeah. Well. Doubt it. Oh, okay. You sign that because he... No, he just doesn't have a very good imagination. Well, you mention the family again? Remember how he was a bit of a crack addict?

Well, actually, I didn't write it into the report, but she recently sued him for naming his company, Fenty. After, but she has a company called Fenty as well, so she sued him. For using his surname. His surname. Yeah. Well, I mean, she's got a pretty famous. brand called Fenty, but I'll get to that. Okay.

I'm excited to get to that. That's interesting. I always feel like if it's your surname, you should be allowed to call your company that. Yeah, but I think he only did it after she very recently started that company. Right. So, interesting. Anna, they do, what's her, if her company is like for, like,

spare car parts and his company is for spare bike parts, then maybe. Absolutely. But if one of them for spare. car parts and the other one is for like, you know, spare plane parts, one's in the skull, ones on the ground, then I think that's different enough. I'll let them know. I'm going to have to agree with Matt on this one.

Cars and planes are different enough. I've been watching The Good Life lately on Netflix. Have you? So I think I know a little bit about Mother Law. Mother law. Is that what they call it? No. Mother law.

Hmm. Mother goes. Sorry, there it is. What is that? Oh, she gives me laugh. Is that not the, is that not the mother? Just stop. Why do we brought mum into this?

Just tell Naomi to do go on. Just say it. You're just suckling at the teat of the courts. Yeah, that's right. The law. I'm personifying the law. I gave you an out. I don't cut and run.

You stay and ruin. We're having fun. Um, made you that. There's a lot of albums in a row here. She released one album like per year. I think the thing that I found most annoying about her songs was it just felt like they were always there. She never had a time where Rihanna went away for a bit.

Oh, you just wanted Rihanna to have a holiday. Yes. I thought she was working herself too hard. Self care. Every week was a new single. It was like, geez, all right. Rihanna, give yourself a break. You wanted her.

You were upset for her. Right. Yes. It wasn't like you're going, give me a chance to miss you, Rihanna. Yeah. You're in my face all the time. I think to be honest, that is actually what I was doing because I was going, you're oversaturated.

Yeah, you're too much. I need my independence. I need my space. Like, yeah, pull a Beyonce and go away for a bit and then suddenly drop something. That's fine. I did not notice that, but I didn't realize she was releasing so many albums or had so many big hits. Well, yes, there was, see, this is, I was like, I'll do it on Rihanna.

And then I went on her Wikipedia page. And I was like, oh, no, she's done so many things. and it took so long to scroll to the bottom of the page. She's that, yeah, like Elton John had a similar run. Jess did a report about him recently. He was releasing two hit albums a year. It was like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Dave would have hated that.

Yeah, I was alive. What'd have been like, just give us a break, Elton, please. Yeah, if you were alive. But you're not. So bad luck. Bad luck, boobie. Sucks to be Dave. If I had a time machine, I'd go back in time and yell at him.

Would you? Yeah, you could probably do it now. Still. Yeah. He's about a tour. Yeah, he's just go and yell at him. Pop in. Stop making albums in the 70s.

Have a break. Look after yourself. You look terrible. You look like a 70-year-old man. Her third album came out in May 27th, 2007. Good Girl Gone Bad. Oh. Her image got a little bit edgier.

She bad. Cut her hair shorter. This is when the lead single... That's how you know she's a bad girl. Bad girls have short hair. Right. They do... Good girls have long hair, but bad girls,

they get gum in it all the time because they're bad, so they've got to keep cutting it. Right. Bad girls do you gum and don't know how to dispose of it very well. I don't. Because I don't have time. And they don't care. They don't have time to find a bin.

Yeah. They just let it pull out of their mouth. Ha! Oh, it's in my hair. Better go to the barber. The barber. Yeah, they're cool and go to the barbara. The barbara.

And they say, we're in the cut boy's hair and they're like, shut up. Shut up and cut my hair. And they go, I respect that bad girl. And they do, and they do a great job at a reasonable price. And then you say, thanks, sell, but all. Yeah, and you give him some cash because he prefers payments in cash for some reason. You're pretty sure that barbers shop is a front for something else. But you like his service because you're a bad girl.

Yeah, you like good service. Bad girls are good service. They demand good service. Should I go on a little time out for a bit? No, I was enjoying that little act down. I like that. Because I over the tour has a sign on the door it says, Boys only, brackets or bad girls.

Second brackets, bad girls are as good as a normal boy. Bad girls, normal boys. That's my clientele. Normal, not even good. Just neutral. Neutral boys. Imagine walking in and him being like, I'm afraid you're not normal.

Salvatore. Come on. Should we call our band The Neutral Boys? Yeah. I love that. I'd sign that band before and even hearing any of their songs. I'd sign one person in that band. Yeah.

Everyone else out. Dave, can you play bass in the Neutral Boys? I will. Matt, what are you going to do? Front Man. Yes, I see that for you. Yes. I've been trying to re-teach myself keyboard.

Sweet. Also known as a piano. So they're very similar. Amy, you're on drums. I was going to say I could do drums if you don't want to forget one of the main parts of a band. Perfect. We're band. Neutral boys.

Neutral boys. Brackets bad girls. Oh, that's good. Neutral boys. Bad girls. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So we could get 2007 and beyond Rihanna could be in the band then. Yeah, I reckon.

But pre-2007 Rihanna. Too good. No dice. Yeah. Yeah, long hair. Ugh. And then Jess and I just both refuse to cut our hair short. That's nothing more bad than that.

Yeah. I refuse. Just got gum all over it. I don't care. Leaving it in. Gum hair. Dreadlocks. That's the ultimate bad girl look.

Dreadlocks. Dreadlocks. Or pixie cut. One of the two for bad girls. Yeah. Hallie Berry. Bad girl. Yep.

Time out. All right. Bye-bye. The lead single from that album, Umbrella. Oh. Yay. Top the charts in 13 countries and remained at number one in the UK for 10 consecutive weeks. The longest running number one single there since Wet Wet, Wet, Wet, Single, Love is All Around.

From the Four Weddings and a Funeral soundtrack. And that was big here as well. I remember that. I reckon I was like early 90s or something. Can you sing it? Because I don't know what it was. Love is not. I'm feeling me.

Oh. My Tole. Oh, that's lameish. And the film clip had like clips of Hugh Grant dottering around in the background. It's not lame at all and that's... I don't even say, I think it might have been a cover as well. It was a real...

It's written in the wind. It must have been like, fucking hell, kids. What are you doing? Who's buying... This is always kids who buy the singles. He'd be like, what's happening? Ten weeks. That's a long time.

Oh, yes, it is. As he said in the same. That one spent 15 weeks at the top. Cheesh. 15 weeks. And rightly so. Jess, I thought you're on timeout. And rightly so.

Oh, don't pout at me. I determine when the timeout's over. That's a weird system. All right. Okay, Dave, you're in charge of my timeout. And I'm not talking until you say I can. All right. I'll do go on.

More singles shut up and drive. Hate that I love you. Don't Stop the music. Oh, please don't stop the music? Yeah. Or is that a second single? She did a sequel song. Look, guys, last time I just told you to stop the music, now I'm asking you, please.

Pretty please. No one listened the first time. Honestly, I'm at the end of my tether. Please stop that goddamn music. I will call the police. And then she did a tour, 80 shows in this tour. And then she won her first Grammy. for umbrella.

Yeah, right. That's deep. I would have thought deep into the career. So this is when she went to another level. When she went bad, she got big. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then that album went two times platinum.

Nice. So that's when she started, during the late 2000s, she experimented further with pop, dobs step and rock music, officially shifting her music style and image away from the Barbados Island girl. Ah, she kicked off Babados style. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yep.

Who else? Are the Baha men Babbatus as well? Oh, I actually don't know. I'm trying to think if I know any other big... They could also be from the Bahamas. Oh, that would make more sense, wouldn't it? Baha men. Jess, you want to make a comment?

I can bring you back in. Can I? You're back in. I just thought that was very clever, Dave. It's probably wrong. No, I think that makes sense to me. Bahamian would be from... Baham.

You know? Yeah. I think. It was worth me coming back in for that. I'm so glad to you. Thank you. Firing on all cylinders. Here we go.

Yeah, they're Bahamian. So who do you reckon? No, but who did let the dogs out? The dogs are men. Oh my God. I didn't know that. Did you know that? That song's about men?

Who let the men out? What does that mean? It's like the men are dogs because they just horny and rar. Oh, so they're like... They're just hoorny and roars. Is it a bit like, oh, who let the men in here? Well, it's, a bit of a sausage fest, that kind of... No, it's like if you read the lyrics, it's like all the women just basically being harassed

because the men are like dogs just like not respecting boundaries. Horny little dogs. I also know that it was like about their ninth album that that song came on. Really? Not an overnight success and they still make music. Can you tell you what year were they formed? The Baja men? My dad always says it takes 20 years to be an overnight success. Really?

Yeah, it's one of his many things that he says often. What about Rihanna? They kicked off in 1991 in London. Yeah, 1991. Wow. So I already together about 10 years by the time they had that hit. God damn. And it's like widely regarded as one of the worst songs ever too.

Sorry, the first album was released in 85. Whoa. I know. 85. I know. And who let the dogs out was 2000. Oh my God. So 15 years.

And it's a cover too. Oh my God. Wait, are you serious? The song is written for someone else, I believe. I'm going to do a report on who let the dogs out. Let's stop it there. I'll bring in all the facts. Their last album was in 2015.

No, Matt. He said, stop it there. Oh, sorry. We're saving it for a future pod. Matt. Let us know if you want the report on who let the dogs out. Oh, just wait for those tweets to roll in now. Can't wait.

More charity work to help raise awareness and combat HIV-AIDS. She designed clothing for a H&M Fashion Against AIDS line. Sounds good too. Yeah. I don't really know what it was. AIDS. No, yeah. What is that?

It's got a debilitating. Yeah, it's not good. Oh. Yeah. And then she did a set of a series of charity concerts to benefit her belief foundation which again for terminally young children. Wow. The concerts were made free for the public

and money from sponsors and advertisers was donated to provide medical supplies, school supplies and toys to children in need. And in 2008, she recorded a charity single, Just Stand Up! The theme song to the anti-cancer campaign Stand Up to Cancer.

And then, yeah. I quite like that we see these diseases as like schoolyard bullies. I don't, see, I don't, what are you going to stand it up to? It's not going to be like, no, fuck you. Yeah, or like if we all just rally together and give cancer a good talking to, it'll fuck off.

Well, I guess they're just raising money with this song, but the lyrics. But the idea of standing up to a disease, that seems a bit odd to me. I definitely think we should cure it. But I don't know if just... Do you, Jess? I don't know if we all just go, hey, cancer, just post. Leave those kids alone. Bam, ba-da-p-dam-p-down.

I don't think, I don't know for the work. I'm up to trying it, of course. Trying to empower people maybe, make people think that it's just an easier thing now. Yeah. But they can tackle it. Stand up against or stand up for cancer patients. Right.

Standing up to cancer. Fight for your right to party without cancer. Yeah. These are all slogans that went around that boardroom. Anyway But Rihanna said I've already written A song called Stand Up

Yeah That's what we're going with And they said You are Rihanna And you got that bad girl Haircut Do you get a Salvador? Did you chew gum

You chugam And not know her thrown out Yeah you're a bad girl That is not a good Girl haircut That is a That's just someone Telling her

She's got a bad haircut Yeah That's a bad Haircut For a girl Yeah That's a bad Female haircut.

Yeah. Let's just say, that's a bad haircut. Yeah. On anyone, that's, sorry, Anna. You are Rihanna. You know that, right? Yeah. Everyone keeps telling her she's Rihanna.

She's like, You are Rihanna. No, I'm Robin. If I can be honest with myself. Why? Is it with a Y with an eye? Why? It's exactly the same spelling as Robin.

And do you reckon her, her parent, her mom calls her Robin? Probably, right? It'd be weird if, like, I can't like Lady Gaga's mom calls her Lady Gaga, you know? Yeah, she'd call her. Steph. Gag. Gaggs.

Gaggs. Gaggs. Hey, Gags. Mom here. Do you want, I've got some food. Mums always have food, you know? It's a mum thing. And she and Lady Gaga is Italian.

Time out. All right, bye-bye. Moms always have food. Every day. There is a scene on the office where he goes up to someone and he's like, you have food. You're a mum, do you have food

and your handbag? She's like, actually, yes. Yeah, she has a little musily bus. Yeah, and he's like, and he says,

what else? You got anything else? I was thinking about that on my drive here because I was like, if somebody came over to my house and needed, like,

if I needed to prepare a meal, there's nothing, that I've got pasta, but nothing to put on it, you know, like, but at mum's house, she doesn't have any kids living there,

but you could always make a full meal. It's like she needs food for herself to live. No, but I just, No kids No kids. There's a lot of kid-sized party pies.

It's quite impressive. Sorry, it's going to get dark for a second. Hang on. What? I'm just preparing myself. Okay, are we ready? Yes. Okay.

On February 8th, 2009, Rianna's scheduled performance at the 51st Grammys was cancelled. Report service that her then-boyfriend, Chris Brown, had physically assaulted her. He was arrested on suspicion of making criminal threats and was charged with assault and for making criminal threats. A leaked photo from the police department obtained by TMZ showed her injuries. So talking about this later on, years later, she says, well, I just never understood that like how the victim gets punished over and over.

It's the past and I don't want to say get over it because it's a very, very serious thing. But for me, and anyone who's been a victim of abuse, nobody wants to even remember it. Nobody wants to admit it. So to talk about it and say it once, much less 200 times, is like, I have to be punished for it. It doesn't sit well with me. I know you wouldn't have a tidbit in injections for that. I just think it's important to talk.

And it's super weird that Chris Brown is still a recording artist. Oh, he's so popular. He's done other bad things. Is it? Yeah, people like, he's changed. And like he. He's been arrested other times for other horrible things. For violence, yeah.

And quite recently there was. an allegation of assault from a woman as well. But I don't know where that is at the moment. That was really, really recent. Anyway, what a good guy. Wait, are you serious? Because he sounds like the opposite of that to me. Sounds like quite a bad guy.

I'd be sending him to... Well, you certainly wouldn't be getting in at Stefano's salon. Stefano? Who the fuck is that? You idiot! Well, this is a separate salon that only serves good boys. And he would not be getting in there. It's the good boy shop for hair fun.

I get my hair cut there. Thank you, Stefani. Did I get his name? The new name wrong as well? This is a third place. Is it for like not good nor bad boys? Yeah. Pretty average guy.

Yeah, yeah. Well, it can't be for normal boys. No. No, it's not normal boys. This is slightly different from that. Please. To be honest, Davros just wasn't on today. Was Stavros there?

Oh my God. You have trouble remembering names? Wait, have I really said four different names? Yes. So many. They all sound the same to me. What have I said? No, they're different.

Oh, no. What's happened to me? Let's move on. I control this podcast now. She had her fourth album in 2009. She just keeps going. This one's called Rated R. Lots of singles Rude Boy

The one about a guy Wanting him to get a boner Wanting him to flop his chop I guess you could say She wants him to get a boner She doesn't want him to flop it though does she Well no she says come on Rude Boy can you get it up Yeah okay so the chop is flop

Yeah She wants to get that chop Up Up Chop up Yeah She doesn't want the chop to flop And she's challenging him to get an erection

Yes How does it finish How does it finish In suspense, I suppose you can take what you want. Like, you know, it's one of those things where you decide how it ends. Right. I reckon you got there. I like to believe.

Yeah. I think it's a good. Yeah. That feels like a happy ending that song. Yeah. I like songs with messages. Yeah. The message is, harden up, boy.

You can do this. Imagine having a song you're sitting there and someone's singing at you. Come on. Do it. Can you get it up? Is it big enough? Is that what she's saying? Yeah.

I love a challenge. I love rising to an occasion like that. Literally. Okay. Okay. Hey-oh. Okay. Dave, can you put an air horn in there?

Why did you do it like that? What do you mean? That was a sound effect. Oh, hang on. I got an air horn. It sounds so weird. Well, you do your best air horn. Go.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Matt is really good at it. Wow. Wow, you are good. Wow, you're turning up your own volume. Flop your chop. Flop it. That's the ultimate pressure. Flop your chop.

I'm trying. It's so clicking. Come on. Come up. You got ten seconds on I'm out of here. Impress me, boy. Please, come on. Come on, rude boy. Come on.

All right. Gun to mad. Gun to mad. Where do rude boys go? Do they go to Stavros? No, Stavros wouldn't see them. Which on Stavros again? I need someone to draw me a diagram.

They're all in a row. That's the handy thing. All their shops are right next door to each other. And they describe what kind of boys and girls are allowed in. She recorded two charity songs for Haiti. That sounds good. She's up there doing that again. She released a bunch more singles with a bunch more people.

I'm just kind of speeding through it. Oh, another thing that she's always out, because she's always co-labbing. Co-labbing. So it's always songs. It's like Eminem, Kanye West, Nikki Minaj, David Guetta. That's all sort of in a row. Right. Yeah.

Love the feet. One of the oversaturations for me is if her, it's not her own single. She's also on Jay-Z or Nikki Minaj's song. Yeah. Well, sorry. Yeah, you can't please everyone, I guess. Sorry, yeah. I'm sorry you got tall poppy syndrome, Dave.

And people can't achieve before you chop them back down. The taller, the more likely I'm going to chop you. Shaq, watch out. Every guest you get on your show, do you just, they come in, you go, yeah, too big for your boots. Brick, take a walk. Yeah, I usually make him cry before I hit record. Just to bring him down to my level. Because you're crying.

Yeah, because I'm crying. My natural level is crying. Could you get that level? Check your level. Can you get that weeping level, please? Can you cry for me? Great. Welcome to Booksheet.

Can you cry for me? The book club where we cry. Sounds like another, just a normal book club to me. Her fifth album, she released in 2010. So that's five albums in six years. And then she started bringing out fragrances. So she got four fragrances. That's what she calls farting.

Bringing out another fragrance. That's hit in the market. She's also oversaturating the air with her smells. Noms, what would you name your fragrance? Slut. Flaw slut. Yes. That's good.

I agree. You know what it's about. You're like, yeah, that's me. Faw. Get it on you. Flaw. Slot. Yeah.

I'm wearing slut by Higgins. Whoa. Oh, God, I thought you smelled good. I smell powerful and sure of myself. And tired. Yeah, really tired. Yeah, you look like you've been doing a lot. You smell like you've been doing a lot.

Sixth album, 2011. That's six albums, seven years. And then she... That annoys me a bit. Why? She'll be six for six. Yeah, lazy. Come on.

That's all right. Whatever, Rihanna. I mean, I haven't done any, to be fair, so... You haven't done any. Albums. Yeah, but none for none. Exactly. I've done zero albums in 28 years.

You're waiting for a round number. Yeah. I wait. You watch when I'm 30. Oh, man. 30 albums. Yeah. Really?

30 albums into 30th year. Yeah. I'm going to be very busy. So if you want to hang out, do it this year. Your 30th year starts later this year. I know. It's a big. So you've got a couple of months to record 30.

Just have them ready. And then just drop. No, I won't start until I'm 29. Okay. I want to be true to the project. Fair enough. And each album has 10 songs on it. Okay.

They're very short songs. One of them's just me going, Oh! For eight minutes. That's not short. Oh, it is by my stand. That's a short one. All the other songs are like 20 minutes.

Right, okay. Yeah. So all the songs are short. I go, la la la la for eight minutes. All the other songs are 20 minutes. Make sense to you. Okay.

Yeah. Cool. Did you want me to go back on timeout or? No. Okay. I'll be buying. Yeah. I'll be buying your albums.

Thank you. We're a big supporter. You are. Can we support you? No. The average boys or whatever we are? Neutral boys? Nope.

Certainly not. No. Okay. I don't need a support act. My show will take hours. Yeah, it will. Yeah. You're doing 30 albums a night.

We don't have time. I mean, Do you remember what backing band? Maybe. But probably no. Jess Perkins and the neutral boys. Oh, I do like that actually. Jess Perkins and the backing band.

And the bad girls. Neutral boys and the bad girls. It's going to be very good. So yeah, look out for that next year. I'm really excited for you to live up to this. Thank you. And I believe in you. Um, a bunch more music.

This is when she started venturing into fashion. Um, she did her first... Sorry. Fat passion. So you first, you're saying Barbados wrong and then you're saying fashion wrong. What is that? I can hardly keep up, understand what you're talking about. Yeah, it's something years ago that you were not involved with.

But please, get it right. Sister, what a dream episode. Next thing you'll be talking about Asia. Has she ever been to Asia? I hope so. Well, I really hope she gets to Asia. We're going to Asia in June. We are going to Asia.

First podcast in Asia. Can't wait. You tell me when to pop back in. Yeah, I reckon go now. So sorry. Just jump in there. But just say passion, right? Yeah.

And Barbados. There are no rules, but that is a rule. That is definitely a rule. So in 2011, she designed her first line with Armani. Oh, God. First line, Armani, straight off the bat. Yeah. I do my first line.

Target. Target urban. Right. Oh, urban. Yeah. Shit. Is that... Is there a Target urban?

It definitely was. Target country. That would be the opposite of Target Urban. Oh, yeah, sorry. I designed my first line in the toilets at Wild Bills. Did that have anything... Was that around flop and chops? I don't know.

I was trying to make a Coke joke. Love a Coke joke. Try to make a Coke joke. I don't know Just trying to eat it with the kids They love Coke Obviously Yeah

I did Yeah Trying to flop out a coke joke But It was flaccid Unfortunately Did not pop All right

Rihanna starred as Petty Officer Cora Rakes In her first theatrical feature film Battleship Wow dream role Petty Officer

Which was released In May 2012 loosely based on the game of the same name, both the film and Rihanna's performance received mixed to negative reviews. The New York Times said she was just fine in the rather generic role. How loosely based on that board game

can it be? Yeah, but they have the same name? Literally just two people sitting at a table. Is there like a mother and son going B-12? Miss. Your turn, Mum. A1 Your turn, son And Rihanna's like

This is great I can't wait to have a son And I only call him son To the point where he doesn't quite know his name Goes to school And they're like Hey Tyler First name I thought of

And he's like sorry I'm son You must Must confuse me someone else. Yeah. He just keeps looking behind him. Like, what?

Who are you looking at? I'm going to have idiot kids. Especially if you call him Tyler. They'll be fun. Yeah. They'll be little idiots. They'll just run around and bump heads all the time. All the time.

I genuinely do that a lot as a child. Really? Yeah, it explains a lot. Yeah. My dad told me the other day he's like, yeah, once I walked out of a building and someone dropped a brick on my head. Sure.

And I was like, ah, yep, that's it. How's that? How's that happening? Just a brick. From a heart? Yeah, he's old. Anything could happen back then. Yeah, that's true.

Bricks fallen out of building. That's how we passed the time. That feels like you could die from that kind of scenario. Yeah, he's just like, yeah. Okay. He's like, brick to B1. Hit. That's how they played battleship back.

It's a different time. With children's heads. She set up the Clara Lionel Foundation in 2012, too, in honor of her grandparents, and it's for education programs in Barbados. She's doing a lot of good work. She is. She is. She is.

I'm going to leave. Just leave your laptop here, and I'll continue. You can go. They hosted a ball in, the first event was in 2014, raised over $2 million, and the second raised $3 million. for education programs. That's like 5 mil. Wow.

Yeah. Oh, fuck, it is. Yeah, that was some quick math. Yeah. Meanwhile, she released her seventh studio album in 2012. That's seven albums, eight years. And it's called Unapologetic. So I guess she didn't care how you fell Dave.

Wow. I mean, she just keeps getting better and better. Yeah. Right? Her next album is literally called, I don't give a fuck, Dave. Dave Warnocky, fuck off. Stop tweeting. I don't care.

Clearly she does. You've been tweeting the whole time. Please give me a chance to miss you. Rihanna, you're too many good songs. I can't handle it. I mean, have a break or some bad ones to make the good ones seem better. Yeah. But unfortunately, she just keeps bringing out bangers.

People love a comeback. Can't have a comeback if you're always successful. And you're always there. Yeah. Always. Britney Spears shaved her head. The ultimate bad girl. Yeah.

She's such bad girl. Bad girl or mental breakdown? Sad girl, for sure. Yeah, that was sad. But iconic. Yes. Right? Right?

For a while I had a t-shirt that said, if Brittany could get through 2007, I can get through today. No, you didn't. I did. Wow. Yeah. That's cute. Thank you.

Is that your motto? It's doing well. Exactly. She got through 2007. I got through that day. What happened on that day, Jess? I don't want to talk about it. What a dumb t-shirt.

Yeah, I bought a dumb t-shirt and regretted it. She did start taking a break from music. You'll be pleased to hear. Because she kept getting abusive tweets. She just couldn't work out how to block me. From some little boy. Hello, me again. Too many songs, Rihanna.

Be quiet. She did a bunch of lines for fashion week to rave reviews. A bunch of lines at Wild Bill's. Bills. I'm going to dedicate this line to fighting aids. She did a bunch of lines to fight AIDS. 100% her vibe, to be honest. She's a great person and she's fun.

Allegedly fun. Yeah. Sorry, yeah. allegedly. I don't want to get sued. Yeah. And then she started collaborating with Dior, Stans, and Manolo Blanick, which is like, what have you done with your life? Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. I do know what you mean. I think about it constantly. Look at myself in the movie. So what have you done? I'm waiting for Mr. Manolo to ring me out. You'll be pleased about this, Dave. She released a song with Eminem called The Monster. And with the song entering the UK singles charts at number one,

Rihanna joined Elvis Presley and the Beatles, just one of three acts to have scored a number one single each year over seven consecutive years. Whoa! Good company. So if she'd taken a break. Yeah, yeah, she would have missed out. She wouldn't be sitting pretty there, would she?

I bet you feel like a real dick. I reckon if I was alive in the 60s, the Beatles had like 10 albums in that eight year period. I would have been like, come on, guys, just take a break. Yeah, you're a real kill joy. Come on, just take a break. Then they're like, here's the white album. It's got four sides. No.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop with this amazing music. Yeah. Yeah. They were under obligation to make that music. I don't think they were having fun at all.

No. Then she received the Fashion Icon Award in 2014 by the Council of Fashion Designers in America. The local council. Yeah, the local council. Well done. You look the best on Binn Night. She turned up. up to accept.

She's dressed in a garbage bag. Got her with bed night. Been a while since she's gone this hard. She hasn't had a nap today. Oh God, no. I'm in a world of pain. I'm imagining a little day of every bin night, which in our neighbourhood's like a Thursday night,

a Friday morning, just standing out there in your Sunday best, just waiting for the garbage men to go by. Tuxedo. Aye, aye, boy. You'll never win. They're like, good luck, mate. Rihanna lives in your neighbourhood.

Curse the affluent east. That was. It's like a council. It was bin collecting. What else are they bloody do? Parking permits. I'm checking my letterbox every day. They've not sent them.

It's a nightmare. You just need to get a ballad. Oh, don't. I reckon the person's stealing your park has also stolen your parking. Permit. Yeah. You now see them parking in both. What a piece of shit.

They park in your spot with your parking permit on the dash. Yeah. They would. Monsters, a lot of them. Eminem wrote a song about that. Big thing, Priana. That was fun. That's funny.

And then in the same year, she became the creative director for Puma. Puma. Puma. Am I saying that, right? No. Oh, my God. What is it? Puma.

Although maybe Americans say Puma. Probably. I think it's Puma. Sounds weird though now. Just sound weird. And I hate myself. It's also German founded. So would they say Puma?

In the 12th May, which is like a spoof cricket commentary album series, he gets Bill Laurie to be calling, talking about his pants. Puma pants. Puma pants. It's saying it a lot. So dumb. That's so dumb. That is funny.

comedy. I'm a Puma Pants. I hate it. Puma pants. Okay, there's the test. Like, that's how hard Dave's laughing at Puma Pants. It's on a hit. No, I know.

Hit albums. I'm not saying it's not funny. I'm just saying like, Dave will find the funniest. I'm also not saying it is funny, but it's funny that it exists. Yes. Those albums can be really funny,

but that is, if you picture, Bill Laurie saying it maybe that helps out. I also know who Bill Laurie is. Do you know Bill Laurie? Yes. I imagine a lot of our listeners do not. Puma pants.

And he did a pretty good impression of him too. One more time, Matt. One more time. Pomer pants. Go on again. That's not it. There's more old people shit. Like, yeah, quite shudder.

What was Rihanna doing with Puma again? creative director. Right. That's cool. So like in their slacks and division. I mean, does she have time to be a creative director of like a multi-billion dollar company? Apparently she does.

I mean, wow, that seems like a pretty full-time job. She's doing a lot. This is what I'm gathering from Rihanna. She does not stop. She then became a part owner of Tidal with, you know, Jay-Z streaming company. Tidal. Title. Yeah.

Yep. And then she released her eighth album in 2016. So she took a bit of a break there. Happy Dave? What, I mean, someone had to direct Puma or Puma. Yeah, true. Puma Pans. Creatively.

Stop it. I mean, someone had to design those Puma Pans. Oh, my God. Just imagine giving himself the rest of the day off. He calls his wife in. Have a lizard of this? I've done it again And all her

The stuff that she's done with Prima has been met with like Rave reviews as well They're like most celebrities when they try to go into fashion It's fucking shit They ruin it Yeah It's like why this is you're gross and stop But she's just amazing

You're gross and stop Well You had me at you're gross Hello Fergie Is there never Yeah gross Keep going I'm loving this

In 2016, she was appointed as the Global Partnership for Education's first global ambassador because of her work with education in Barbados. And she attended their Financial Summit in 2017 where she tweeted at Global Leaders asking them for money for education. I don't know if you saw this. So she went to an event to sit down and tweet people. Yeah. That's good stuff.

But there's like this photo of her with Julia Gillard. And I just remember it shocking my sister. Oh, that's right. What are they doing together? But it was for education. But where was that again? It was... I seem to remember seeing them together in Africa somewhere.

Senegal. That's in Africa. There you go. Well done, Dave. West Africa. And then she tweeted... So she just started tweeting at Prime Ministers and Presidents. So there's one...

Hi, Julie Bishop and Malcolm Turnbull. Will you step up with a $200 million pledge tomorrow? just basically passively aggressive. Did they write back? No, they didn't. Loll, nah. New phone, who did? I would set a weird precedent

if a prime minister just replies to a pop star's tweet. Well, they did, though. A bunch of them did. There was like the Argentinian prime minister or president or whatever was just like, yeah, like we're doing, you know, we're doing stuff. Well, I mean, the smiley face. And reply, it's okay, but we're replying going, all right, yeah. We'll find another two.

$200 million. Coming into a meeting the next day and being like, look, guys, I know we already set the budget, but Rihanna tweeted at me. I don't want to look like a tighter. I'm a people pleaser. I want Rihanna to think I'm cool. Can we get another 200 mil? Please.

Could be a photo up in it. Please. Yeah. In February 2017, Rihanna was named Harvard University's Humanitarian of the Year. What? Wild. with her two foundations and being an ambassador for education. Whatever.

In 2017, she launched her cosmetic company, Fenty Beauty. Have you heard about her makeup brand? No, I do know of another Fenty though. Me too. I'm familiar with another Fenty based in Barbados. Yeah, aeroplane spare parts. Yeah, they do great prices. Yeah, really good stuff.

They've actually been inquiring about sponsoring your pod. I don't know if I talked to you about that. I'd be keen because they seem like a great company. Well, yeah, I think they should probably see if they could sue her. Do you reckon we could get a couple of free airplane parts? Do you have a couple of wheels? A couple of wings. Can I have a free plane, do you reckon?

Yeah. A plane's worth of parts. Just get a bucket of wings. That's probably how they sell their spare wings. A bucket of wig. So she started cosmetics. She's done fashion, now she's into cosmetics. And Fenty is her surname.

Yes. So the original foundation launch included 40 shades, which has since been expanded into 50 shades, which is pretty important because, and before she released that, basically most makeup brands had like 20 different shades of white and then one that was like caramel. Yeah, right.

And even I'd find it hard to find makeup that was my shade because I'm quite pale. But that's just because I'm a genetic anomaly, whereas other people couldn't find a shade because of racism and people didn't want to admit they existed. This is like a big market that they're all missing out of. Yeah. Yeah.

So there's like a lot of people with like darker skin to be like it's like a scavenger hunt to like go to like Sephora or something and try and find a foundation that fits your shade because they do like one called you know, mokka. And it's not. Well they do one just called other. And even like the darker shades they do have are like, just a tanned kind of color.

It doesn't cover a full range of people's skin. That seems insane. Yeah, it's wild. And that was until when? Last year. So in 2017, she launched it. And the brand ranked in a whopping $72 million in its first months, which is five times what Kylie Jenna made in her first month of her.

Suck it, Kylie Jenna! It really feels like that was an opportunity sitting there. Yeah. I'd assume that that does seem strange. If I had a time machine, I would go back and do this a lot earlier. For people of colour. Yeah, yeah, for them. For them.

In the years since, the Fenty effect has resulted in other makeup brands trying to match Fenty with most now stocking 40 shades. Mac has now 60 different shades. And they basically didn't cater to all these people until Rihanna did something about it. But yeah, so many shades. for white people. So many. But that's the thing.

Like I tried, I looked at like the whitest shade for Fenty and it was like so much paler than me. I was like, wow, she's even gone on that end of the spectrum. She's gone like so, you can be so white. So there's hope for me if I want to put something on my chest, which it is painful to look at because it is so pale. Yeah. Why are you putting foundation on it?

He's not, he's putting Omo on. That's what's getting it wider than white. I've been meaning to say someone about that, Dave. You're doing it wrong. That's bad for your skin. You are burning your skin. Meanwhile, she's still making a bunch of music being on basically everyone's songs, which you love Dave.

And she earned a ninth Grammy award. She's up to nine Grammy Awards. Nine wins. Nine wins. Wow, that's a lot. It is a lot. And then she did a bit of acting. She had a recurring role on a show called Bates Motel

I don't know much about it And a bunch of other stuff Including Oceans 8 Which is where everyone fell in love with Anne Hathaway Not Rihanna Oh sorry Rihanna Yeah Was Rihanna one of the main actress?

She was one of the eight Yeah She was eight bald But she was kind of underused I would say most of the actresses were underused Yeah And underwritten for Those sort of movies when they have too many actors

But no one really gets much time, apart from George Clooney. Who was the George Clooney in this one? Sandra Bullock. Playing George Clooney's sister. Right. The frustrating thing is that like two-thirds of the way through the movie, they're like, you know what this movie needs? James Corden.

Get him in. Why? Not even two-thirds, maybe like three quarters. Like he just comes in. To be like the funny one and it's like, you've given Mindy Kaling three lines. Yeah, she's very funny. She is. Give Kate Blanchett less.

You're a Kate hater, aren't you? Well, is it, what do we do? You hate our greatest actor? Are we talking about that on here? On primates. You wouldn't Pete Jones. That's right. Because she played the snake on.

Yeah, and Pete and I agreed. And I don't know if you had an opinion. No, I'd just, I've never heard of anyone hating Kate Blanchett before. I tell myself to like it. Like, I think I should. Have you seen her skin? Oh, good point. Sorry.

You psycho. Yeah, but women. Does she have beautiful skin? She does. Yeah, right. But she uses, she excluses, she's the face of SK2, which is a very expensive skincare brand. Right. Yeah, the face alone costs like $10 each.

I imagine then when people are a face of something that's not a good skincare brand and they're a multimillionaire in their house, they actually use the good stuff. Well, that is the good stuff. Yeah, so. But I mean, like the people that are the face of the cheap stuff, I imagine they go home and they use Kate Blanchet's line. No one's actually using Clarison. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Allegedly. Yeah, nice.

Yeah, clear. That's like the first thing you get that when you're a teenager and you get a bit of a breakout. And your mum's like, oh, get you some clearer cereal. Yeah. All right, mum. That felt like when I was a teenager, that was the only option. Yeah. Absolutely.

Because it's the only name, only name that I would have, even still, is there other brands that do like anti-pimple cream. Yeah, TK2. Proactive. Oh, Matt, so many. It's so many. Real hardcore. Proactive. Well, I grew up with flawless skin, so I, you know, wasn't an issue for me.

It's still important to moisturise. I was joking, Naomi. Naomi's weeping. Look at me. Look at my face. No, stop it. Look at my blotchy skin. Why you get some hormones, Matt?

See what that does you. Yeah, testosterone. Bulging with the stuff. Look at these pecks. Bolging? Don't know those peck decks all day. I'm furious. Why did you flex your arms?

That's what a peck deck is, Jess. Go to a gym. Come on, Jess. Maybe one day you'll be able to bench press something with your legs. That's not even the same thing. Oh, everyone's getting mad now. I'll take you all pricks. That's what happens about this time.

I'll speed through. I'll speed through. In 2018, she launched a size inclusive lingerie brand called Savage versus 17. No one had thought to do that before. She made more money. Yeah. It started selling out 12 hours after dropping. She's very good.

business just saying big wide openings in markets yeah she just sees a bunch of people who like literally can't buy things and she's like I'll make something for you and they're like thank you riana um Dave when you go back in time check that on your list I will size inclusive that's a phrase that you'll need to remember no they've never heard that in a border you go back 20 years ago all right I got an idea size inclusive lingerie and people go what the fuck are you talking This is McDonald's. Dave goes, I've gone back too far. Laundre doesn't exist.

Do you mean pantaloons? Oh, God. Size-inclusive pantaloons. Yes, they all include the size. Right there on the label. Oh, dear. Oh, God. This is the depression, Dave.

Everyone's starving. Just feed people. In September 2018, she was a. appointed by the government of Barbados, Barbados, whatever. To be an ambassador, extraordinary and flintentiary. It's not ambassador. It's a... Ambassadors.

I'm so sorry, Naomi. I'm going to have a little time out now. Matt's turn. So she's an ambassador for her country. So she can make decisions about the country. That's incredible. I don't know. That's true.

She can. She can make decisions. Well, I don't know what kind of decisions. Burn the treasury. All right, Brianna, all right. The ambassador said it. Cool. And Ben, that's about it, really.

That takes us up to now. She's working on something at the moment. She's been filming a secret project in Cuba, titled Guava Island with Donald Glover. No one knows exactly what that is. So it doesn't sound too secret. All I think of with Guava is the guava-flavored Fodca cruises

Yeah, yummo They were great Maybe it's about that Because raspberry was a bit much Wasn't it? Like the flavour Yeah, bit of pairing

It made your tongue red Right And then your parents are like What are you been drinking And I'm like Raleigh Lemonade Lowy

What are you been drinking Lowy? I'm going to throw up for a bit Our kids are the best I drank a bad Lowy mom But then they brought out Guava

And it's like hello Refreshing Much Delicious I'm a woman now Yeah Cancel my 4 o'clock. I'm having a Guava vodka cruiser. She's a street named after her where she grew up in Barbados.

Fucking how, I just want to die. It's called Rihanna Drive. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Shut up and drive. Is that a song of this? Yes, that is. And she's currently working on her...

I would have called it Shut Up and Drive. I would have called it Shut Up, Matt. It would have been confusing tribute to Rihanna, but anyway. It would have been called Shut Up, Dave. So, yeah, so she's working on her next album now, and everyone just keeps harassing her for it. She just keeps releasing, like, new parts of her makeup line, and everyone's just basically like, fuck you, where's the album?

See, finally she gets it. People actually want her music now because it's been a while. Yeah, back when she was having number one hit after number one hit. didn't want it. No, people weren't like, where's the next one? Because it just came out every Saturday. There was this a new single. Okay, well, it came with the paper.

900, yeah, 900 weeks in a row. She had 900 singles. Constantly. All hits. All hits, I know. Because they're all given away with the Herald Sun. Yeah, and everyone hated him. They all made number one.

So she's still alive? She is still alive. At the time of recording, allegedly. One of the most recent things I read about her is that she'd dumped her boyfriend. She was dating this. I think he was like a Saudi billionaire or something. And her friend said, Dream boat.

It was a good relationship, but now it's over. Of course, Rihanna broke his heart. That's what she does. Breaks men's hearts. Rihanna just got tired of him. She gets tired of men sometimes. Yeah, we'll do. But she's like the one person that the Saudi billionaire

couldn't really impress with money because she has hundreds of millions of dollars of her own. I also don't think she would care about that because one thing about Rihanna is she doesn't really get involved with like celebrity beefs or anything like. like that she really like stays separate from that and just like works on stuff that she's passionate about you know i would be in there for the beefs oh absolutely oh man because i love the drama it's fun i'd be swifted it up oh yeah i'd be like i'd be starting wars yeah in sada arabia no not

like actual wars just like beef wars beef wars do you know i'd be starting chop wars ever a sword fight. Yeah. You're just waving your dick around, hoping someone else will come and wave his dick at you. But how you challenge someone to a duel? Flop your chop. At 20 paces.

Oh, walk away, you coward. I assume most people will be like, I'll walk away. That's fine. I'm okay. Thank you, sir. I mean, if you find someone who does not walk away, you've been a keeper.

Marry them. Find someone who'll flop his chop at you. Oh, my dream man. So that's Rihanna. I mean, through her career, she's had nine Grammy Awards, 12 Billboard Music Awards, 13 American Music Awards, eight People's Choice Awards. She received the Icon Award in 2013

from the American Music Awards and the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award. Anna Partridge in a pear tree. And she has six Guinness World Records. Whoa. How many do you have Dave? So for like swallowing pizza? Yeah.

Longest fingernails. Swallowing pizza. I swallowed... Not eating pizza, just swallowing pizza. Swallet 100 pizzas in 10 seconds. Is there a record for eating pizza? There's a record for anything. I'd be up for that.

I'm pretty sure you can just like register new Guinness records. You're like, I did this. Hmm. And they're like, okay. What am I good at? You know, Dave's a record expert. Are you? A rexpert.

Yes. Thank you. Official title. Name one thing. Most pizza swallowed in 10 seconds. How many? Nine. Nine full pizzas.

Slices. Oh, okay. Is that real? That's still amazing. That's not real. I don't play with my heart like that. Sorry. Most hearts played within one second.

Everyone listening to this show. Just got them. That is a lot of pizza. That's quite a good fake record because it was believable enough. If you said nine full pizzas, I would have been Googling the video. But nine slices was boring enough for me to go, Oh, right. Yeah, that's what you want.

You want it to be just boring enough. Exactly. That's the dream. That's a good lie. That's what I want with my conversation. I want it to be dull and not memorable. Thanks so much for the report, Naomi. Was that all right?

It was great. That was fantastic. I had a lot of fun. I didn't know anything about her, apart from that she has lots of great music songs. And I really respect her as a person a lot more now and I know more about it. Now that you know, she tweeted some leaders. Yeah.

What a hero. What a hero. Before that, I just thought her music was quite generic and boring. But now I think she's a bit of a hero. There's also a lot of music I didn't even name because there's too many. There's too many songs. Do you have a favorite tune? I have to say work.

with Drake. I also love my favorite, you know the song I'm talking about? I can't think of it. No. Wag, wag, wag,

oh yeah, obviously. Everyone knows that one. Sorry, stupid. I love looking up, so she's doing that in a, I think it's, I'm not 100% sure,

but it's like a Jamaican dialect or something like that, which is why the lyrics don't, like, they're a bit different because it's a, a Creole maybe. Anyway,

I love looking up white girls singing it. Yeah. That's one of my favorite past. because they either do it in the like creole or they just try they're like this doesn't make sense let me turn it into English and then it's just like he sees me do my work work work and it's a lot of fun yeah that's good isn't it good stuff we'll be linking to such videos on our Twitter account when I did Comedy Zone a few years ago I had to do put the music together for our like intros and angus gordon very dry comedian requested he'd be brought out to work

it's funny because like work work work work work that he'd walk out and very dry roll was very funny just be like hello yeah it was good stuff i like that i mean it's a good vibe yeah it worked okay that's great that's hey noami do you do you know you're a white girl Don't remind me I love looking up white girls and laughing at them Well yeah, I'm not doing it I'm better than them I know my place

I sing that in private I don't film myself singing it And put it out there to be judged That's the difference So that So that brings us to the part of the show called fact quote or question.

Naomi, do you want to explain this section of the show? Yep. So every week we get a Patreon listener to send in a fact quote or question for us to talk about. You have a clear bar higher than any of us ever would have done without you.

So thank you so much. Wow. So you can support the show on Patreon at patreon.com slash do go on pod. Get all sorts of bonus stuff, bonus content, extra episodes to, to be precise per month.

that you support the show. We shout out to you on the show, give you pre-sales for tickets and stuff. You get to hang out. You get to vote for me. Yes, we get to vote. That's right. You get to get in the Facebook group,

which is pretty active every day. It's a fun place to be. Yeah, everyone's so nice in that. It's great. But on the fact quota question segment, this week we've got Mark Chopper Reed. Oh, Choppa. Who we have met in real life.

Chop, chop. Yeah, that's a very last minute. But he put his hand up to be our door person. In Manchester, because with the venue, didn't end up having a person to tick tickets off at the door. So. Mark did it for us. Are you serious?

Chopper did it for us. Like an absolute legend. He's such a legend. Isn't that nice? Wait. It was a weird. I'm unbelievable about this. This is right.

You're wondering about it if it's Chopper Reed. Not Chopper Reid. We just call him Chopper. His name's Mark Reed. I'm sorry. The real Chopper is dead. That's what I said. I'm so sorry.

And only at the very end there was I was like, oh, he's dead. I believed you up until that point, but you had like a criminal. The famous Australian criminal. Hearless man. No. The Van Gogh of our time, some would say. In a way. No, this is a guy called Mark Reed.

Right. Is that why there's so many suggestions of Mark Chopper Reid in your. I don't know. I was just thinking then he'd be making an interesting topic because I don't know heaps about him. But what is the fact, quote, or question that the non-criminal Mark Reid has... He's allegedly. I think it's confusing of him to have the nickname Chopper. I think that's the same as Mark Chopper Reid.

I imagine him being English, he has no idea who Mark Chopper, the real chopper is. Yeah, it's been quite confusing for him, I imagine. Oh, and me. You get to give yourself a title in this section, and he's giving himself the title of Do Go Doorman. Yes. I know, I understand that. See, our story checks out now. It does.

And he's given us a question. Naomi, would you be able for being involved in this? No. Good choice. Good choice. All right, well, this is for Jess and Dave. I want back in. No.

If you could have a bionic something, a limb or one of your senses, what would you choose? Pines. Chop. Chopped. Chopper. What? Oh, Mark Chopper, read. I get it now.

You could flop it anytime you wanted. I would flop my bionic chop. Mark Flopperade. That deserved more from the others. So are all three of you going with Chop? I know. I never said that. I'd say, um...

I'm going with it. Yeah. Bionic legs, so I could do that thing that the $6 million man didn't go, shing, ching, ching, ching, shing, shing, shing. Dave, you still wouldn't be able to leg press as much as me, though. And these are real legs. That's right.

I want bionic legs so I could fuck up her record. I mean, it's not a world record. It's a P-B. It's a podcast record. That's true. I think I'd go for eyes maybe. Oh, yeah. No, then I'd be like, don't undress me, mad.

X-ray vision, you're purrs. No, if I on a guy on, guys, do. I just meant so I don't have to wear glasses anymore. Zooming would be good. Zooming eyes. Zooming eyes. Yeah, so I watch at the footy, and you can just zoom in on the play. I don't want to, that would be a liability.

I reckon that would be a burden to be able to look through people's clothes all the time. it'd be great if you're a pervert That's true And I am I'd just be walking around And I'd just be walking around I mean You're not a pervert

You just want a bionic penis Yeah What's weird about that So what do you want to do With your bionic penis What's the What's the plus side there It would just

I just Are you just trying to be goofy No I just I have an answer That I don't particularly want to say That makes it sound even worse Is it clear? You want a bionic cliff?

No. My friend and I were talking about this the other day about like if you had a freaky Friday situation and you woke up in the body of somebody of the other gender, like what's the first thing you'd do? And we were like, she was like helicoptered my penis obviously. And then I was like, I'd pee standing up for sure. So all I mean is I've just never had one.

So it'd be nice to have a go. I'd just talk without getting interrupted or something. Or just like say like, mediocre joke and people would laugh. Yeah, we weren't down that path. I think we've shown here tonight that that does not work. I was like, I physically intimidate someone. If anything, this podcast...

I just follow someone. If anything, this podcast is a testament against that. I'd get paid better, you know? Yeah. Anyway. That brings us, thank you so much. I'd have bionic hands. Oh, you're back in.

Yeah, I'm in. What do you do with your bionic hands? Or arms. Can I say, just say arms? Yeah. I'd stretch... You could do fucking anything. You play piano, guitar.

I could probably open jazz better. Oh, yeah. Carry more stuff. What do you do now? Just get up. I just throw them on the floor. Yeah. And then just pick up the sauce.

Yeah. I pick up the sauce. Yeah. In my hands. Pick up your sauce. That's. Which if I had bionic hands, it wouldn't hurt me as much when I pick up the shards of glass. Yeah.

If you could do anything with your hands, I play any instrument, would that, would that still be enjoyable? I wonder about that. Like, if you could just do anything. Would piano still be fun to do? I guess it would be. You would impress other people. And that's all that really matters. I don't have that much of a passion for music actually.

So it would just be a, you know. Party trick. A vehicle. Oh, you could, yeah, put wheels in it or something. Yeah. Just do a handstand and off you go. You got little wheel hands. I'd have bionic feet

so that are basically like those little sneakers with wheels in them. And then I could sell my car, no need. That's smart. Yeah. Oh, Segway legs! That's what I'd have. And everyone would be like, there goes Jess being cool again. She got Segway legs.

She hasn't been too good at anything else in life ever since. Because she's... Seguing? Yeah, like basketball. It feels like people just push you over. Yeah, but I can outroll them. I guess you're never traveling, right? Well, you're always traveling.

Yeah, I never stop traveling. I never stop. Never stop. I'm always on the move. I'm like, oh, that's Jess. How can you tell? Moving. Oh, there she goes.

Just sit still and watch a movie with me. Can't moving. You know? The other segment we do on this show towards the end with our patrons is we thank a few of our long-term supporters with a shout-out. and Jess normally gives us a bit of a game to play with their names. We give them a thing or some sort of a stuff. I wanted to, I was thinking we could. Some sort of a stuff.

We could name their debut single. Okay, great. Oh, that is hot. Do you like that? Well, if I could kick it off. Please. Dave, why are you horny? Oh, come on.

Bionic chop. Yeah, bionic chop. From Hampton in Melbourne, down by the beach. It's Eric Lisson. Eric. Lisson or Lison or Lison. Lison. Leason.

Leason. And Eric's first single. Chopin the Pops. Chopin the Pops. Chopin the Pops. It was quite big in the 70s, apparently. Chopin the Pops. Yeah.

What's it about? What does that mean? That's a metaphor. It's really whatever you want to take from it. Yeah, that's right. And then white girls come along and sing the wrong lyrics anyway. We all laugh at them. We laugh at white girls.

You don't have a chop. Yeah. You can't sing about it. about having a child. I feel like you should have held Chops back. I'd love to also thank you so much, Eric, for your support. We really do appreciate it. And your beautiful single, Chopin' the Pops.

Shop and the Pops. If you want to message in and let us know what the lyrics to that song are, that would be really great. I'd also love to thank from Charlotte in North Carolina, Thomas Courtney Cox. Wait, what? What? What? Thomas Courtney Cox. What?

The single is called Friends. Friends. Like that song, it's famously called Friends. Thomas Courtney Cox. So no one told your life was going to be this Friends. And from the beautiful state of North Carolina. Whereabouts is that it? North Carolina.

It's in the United States. North of South. It's North of South Carolina, I don't know much about North Carolina. I don't know much about North Carolina. Okay, I could do you want to know what basketball? I heard it's pretty right wing. Charlotte, where Thomas is from, that's their team is the Hornets. And I grew up playing for the Bentley Hornets.

So I'm connected to Thomas in many ways. It's also a famous basketballing state because Michael Jordan went to university there. And he played for the university team. Really? Yeah, he wore his blue shorts, famous light blue uniform. But then when he got picked up in the NBA, he played for the Chicago Bulls. And as good luck, he continued to wear his North Carolina shorts underneath his Bulls uniform.

Because of this, he had to wear bigger shorts for the Bulls, big red shorts. That kicked off a fashion trend that meant that all NBA players now wear big baggy shorts. And it all comes back to North Carolina. Oh, and you. And me, yeah. In a lot of ways, it was me and MJ. We did it. And Thomas, Courtney.

Cox. What are the odds of that? I'm assuming he was born in a time where he was named after Courtney Cox, right? I can only assume. He would have been born somewhere either after Ace Ventura, the pet detective, which she started. Or just beyond that when she kicked off in friends in the mid-90s. What do you reckon? I have no opinion.

Smart. Interesting. No, very smart. I like that. We do look forward to hearing your debut single, Friends. Dave, would you like to thank some people? I would love to thank some people now. I would like to thank from all the way over in Sutter'sville, Pennsylvania.

Pennsylvania. I'd like to thank Penn State. Alex Bacchie. Ah, Bache. Oh, Wackay-Bashay. I've never hated anything more. Then Alex, he's a good guy. No.

Or gal. Then whackay, bashe. But Matt, what would be Alex's debut single? Well, I mean, Wacket Bachel is hard to go past. Just looking at his photo here. He's ignoring you. It is a dude. I reckon Alex would have had a hit song, which would have been called

Soutersville. On my mind. Sudeville on my mind. Suitersville in my heart. That's a long title for a single. I reckon Seasville on my heart, obviously. It's bracket. Yeah.

Yeah. Alex doesn't quite know there's a difference between the mind and heart. No, you said Suttasville. That's the interesting thing. He pronounces his own hometown wrong. He really loves his hometown. He does. Oh, Alex Bache.

Soutersville on my mind. Simon and Guff. Because I live here. So I think about it a lot. And it's in my mind. And we can see why that was number one for 13 weeks. Yeah. Pretty impressive.

Nearly got that record. But Wet Wet Wet. That lasted him. They soaked him out. What a weird name, Wet Wet Wet. Yeah, it's dumb. I would like to thank now from Western Australia in Beldivis. I'd like to thank Samuel Limeberry.

Combining two of the best fruits. Yeah. Samuel lime berry. Berry. Berry is the best fruit. One of them. Yeah. Are you saying that or is that the song?

Berri is the best fruit. I'm just confused what you mean by Barry. The song is called Berry. Berry is the best fruit. Berry, berry. Which berry? Well, obviously a rasp, Barry. I'm a blub man.

Obviously Rasp. But you've said combining two of the best fruits. Barri's... A berry mix. A berry mix. A boison. A straw. Black, blue.

Neutral boison berry. You like black, you like blue. I'm a bloob. Blue pad all the way. I like rasp. Love those antioxidants. You're a bloob boy. And our good friend Samuel Limeberry.

What is Samuel's song? Naomi, you've been listened to his music for a long time. I thought his first single was actually one of his... SINCALS. Yeah. Of course, blueberry on my mind. That's what I thought was his debut single. How stupid I was.

That was for his second album. What was his debut single? It was, um, fruit. Ah. How'd you spell that? That's, it doesn't matter. Yeah. That's what he always said.

He had that attitude, didn't he? It's like, um, it says, shh, but then in bracket says, inhaling. Yeah. Yeah. And then in bracket, sighing. It's got like a stage direction to it. Yeah. It's between asterisks.

It's kind of one of these things. like you just know. You know or you don't know. It's like the word yeat. Yeah. You get it or you don't. Yeat. So thank you to Samuel.

I'd like to thank a couple people if I may. Yes, please. I say you should. Thank you. From Mount Gambia, here in Australia, in South Australia. I would like to thank Alice Laslett. Beautiful neck of the woods.

Alice. Dave. Alice's debut single Do you remember it? Yeah, yeah, what was it called? What was it called? The Day the Pigeon died. Yes.

What was it about? It's so funny. Yeah, it's a comedy song, which I really like. Of course, it's a bit whimsical. There's a pigeon called Barry, shitting on a car, and then the round of the car, Trent, is a bit annoyed that the pigeon keeps sitting on his car,

but then the day Barry dies. The day. The pigeon died. It's a parody song. What I love about Alice is I really feel like she's a new weird owl. And then he starts and he made it into a pie. Singing bye, bye, eating pigeon pie. Thank you.

I've heard. I mean, nobody applauded. No. Or praised you at all. You're going to say you've heard worse comedy songs because I think you probably could have. Yeah. No, that's what I was thinking. I've definitely heard worse than that.

So well done to Alice. Must I have also heard better. Congratulations in your own. Well, I aim for the middle of the pack. Parody song career. That's why I fell for the middle of the pack. And finally, I would also like to thank from Hampshire in Great Britain. Tom Ford.

I feel like I know him. Do you reckon? No, of him. Tom Ford? Yeah. It's like really famous. The fashion designer turns director. Or Thomas Ford, the.

the Perth cabaret artist Tom was for a big time Are you googling Tom Ford? No, I know who Tom Ford is I was just being cute before Oh Who's Tom Ford? I used to work at David Jones

And we sold his fragrances and lipstick So really I know who Tom Ford is Did he ever get him for like cheap You get the nut? Oh Oh no Is that Shaggy?

No Oh, that's Sean DePaul Is that Sean DePaul Wow It's Sean Paul featuring the one and only Shaggy. It's Rihanna.

So there's a song in 2013 called Tom Ford by Jay-Z. Well, there you go. Is this a certain? Featuring Rianna. Of course. She's on every song. But that's not Tom Ford's debut single.

There's so many Tom Fords. That's a real famous name. Well, it's probably just about the famous one. Which one? The composer, the California politician, the English Martyr. So Tom Ford's debut track was... Maybe this one.

called I'm the real Tom Ford. Featuring Shondipal. Shondapal. So it's just to clear it up because he was so sick of having to be like, are you the politician one? No, I'm the real Tom Ford. It doesn't clear anything. He's like, this is going to be much easier to get across with a hit single.

So I'll just do that. And then I'll get back to my accounting. Would you be up for thanking a couple to Naomi? I would love to. That would be amazing. Damn, that is a good song, though. It's called Break It Off. Sean Paul and Rihanna.

All right, what are we up to? I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. These two here. Okay, I'd like to thank Matthew Barber. I don't know why I expected there to be some applause or something like. Matthew Barber. From Great Britain. Isle of White.

Oh, fantastic. Is that something? The Is that something? Yeah. The Isle of White? Yeah, it's a place. Cows in the Isle of White. Is that a famous song, The Isle of White? I think he would have had a song. I reckon it would have been called.

I'm just going to just say words that come out. Great. Okay, I'm not going to think. I'm just going to speak. I'm going to say, well, let's each say one word. This is this song, all right? We'll go around this way. This is a song.

Yep. Hello. It's Kristen. Bitch. Bitch. Yes That is like That would be a crack in tune

We should have done that for all of them To be honest And they all should have ended in bitch Just like bitch It's funny every time Yeah it's good stuff I just remember people being They're like why is this man

Got a song called Hello it's Kristen Bitch bitch But then you listen to the song And it makes sense Oh poetry I love that song I think I think I

I'm going to have that as my wedding and funeral song. Same day? Oh, I hope. If everything goes to play. My wedding is going to be a murder-sicide. Oh, my God. I'm going to kill everyone. Am I invited?

No. Oh, that's so nice. Thank you. That's a good thing. I think you. Me? I'm still. You guys are in my bridal party.

Oh. If I go down, we all go down. Fair enough. Fair enough. The party goes down with a bride. That's absolutely true. Are you kidding me? It's like, yeah, the Titanic.

What, you would try to keep doing this podcast without me. Wait. I would just try to keep living. Just trying to live a separate life. Interesting. Live a good life in your name. Thank you. It's Kristen bitch.

Who else do we need to thank? Corey Cavander. From Rome. GA. The US. Is that Georgia, GA Dave? Yeah, it sounds like Georgia. I really thought it was going to be Italy because it was Rome.

That would be pretty. cool. Georgia. But that wouldn't be Rome then. Wouldn't it be Roma? Anyway, it doesn't matter. I mean, Georgia's still very cool. I've been to Rome, but I've never been to Georgia.

Georgia, they film a lot of stuff there now. That sounds like a song title. I've been to Rome, but I've never been to Georgia. Yeah, I like that. Bitch. Perfect. Thank you so much to all our supporters. We really do appreciate it so much.

Thank you, legends. And yeah, if you haven't already, You can get on there at patreon.com slash do you go on pod. You're also supporting my podcast primates, which is about primates in popular culture, with all these three great people have been guests on multiple times. Hell yeah. Recent episodes we've talked about things like monkey magic and also what did we talk about last week or a couple weeks ago, Pop. That's a great question, Matt.

That's so bad. Oh, Zubimaboo. Of course. What? Zubimafoo. Zabomifu. Obviously. You think primate, you think Zubimafu.

It was a big Lima kid show in America that didn't make it here. Ben Russell hated it. As an American, he made it okay to hate it. We felt a bit awkward hating it, but he... Because it's American. Because it's American. He can't criticize American media. No, I won't.

They just need our support. We love CNN. So supporting primates, you're also supporting Dave's podcast book Cheat. And that's where Dave reads. It's a classic novel, so you don't have to. That's right. And recent episodes include Jane Austen's Persuasion, featuring Jess Perkins and Broden Kelly from Auntie Dunner.

And the most recent one, Sherlock Holmes' first novel, or the first novel to feature him, a study in Scarlet featuring Mr. Sunday movies and Claire Tonti. But all three of you have been on the show before, so thank you so much. That's true. It's a real fun podcast. It's worth checking out.

It is fun. What a fun time. My mum loves it. Oh, sorry. We started a thing at the same time. I made some joke on that. podcast that we did. Just you were there too. Matt, you weren't there. Um, about me like being, living in the 40s and being like, I worked at a cinema and then I scurried off into the night or

something. I completely forgot I said that and then I stumbled across people talking about me and they're like, she lived in the 40s and worked at a cinema and scurried off into the night and then reappeared like Captain America. I was like, oh, sorry what? I'm calling the police. Anyway, it turns out that's something I'd said myself. Right, because we weren't talking about the Great Gatsby, so maybe that. That poor guy, I was just talking about him being like, this freak. And he's like, you said that. I'm coining your jokes, but I appreciate it.

And you're like, yuck, why? It's fair. It's fair to assume that people are being mean. I always do. Someone looks at me and I'm like, what's wrong? Yeah, how dare you? Oh, but that does bring us to the end of the show. We've had some laughs.

We've had some times, but we do. have to go. But Naomi, you can check out your batch bitch podcast with the fantastic Danielle Walker. Yeah. If you want to dip your toe in, Danielle and I were on an episode of primates together, which is I think a good look at our dynamic without jumping in if you need the safety net of a do go on her.

It was a, yeah, that was a really fun episode too where we talked about the 1967 jungle book from Disney, the animated film. It's in 1967. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Wow. I didn't like it that much.

Yeah. Danielle loved his childhood and Naomi and I both watched it just before we recorded for the first time. And the results were fascinating. Some great songs in it. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it in parts. But yeah, you should listen to that episode. It was really fun.

Cool. Maybe I will. But also, yeah, I can listen to my podcast. We just started talking about, we did talk about The Bachelor, but that's not on at the moment. So we're talking about Married at first side. I think I said that at the start of the podcast. But, yeah, jump on that. Don't watch the show.

But just get on it. God, it's awful. But the podcast is fun. That's all it is. And if you want to get in contact with us at any time, it is at Do Go On Pod on all the social media's Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and we're Do Go OnPod at gmail.com. And we have a website Do Go OnPod.com where it has all that stuff listed there,

including a link to our Patreon, and a way for you to get in contact with the show and a way to suggest a topic. You can join the thousands of people that have suggested Chopper Reed. So many. And then Zero who suggested Rihanna. Get in there now. Make up for lost time. But thank you so much for joining us.

And until next week, I will say thank you and goodbye. Later. Bye. Bye. Thanks for having. Pop your shop. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

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