Do Go On - 191 - Dumb Deaths (with Nick Capper and Oliver Clark)

Episode Date: June 19, 2019

This week's episode of Do Go On was recorded live on a beach at the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival. We each did a mini report on a "dumb death" - that is dumbs ways in which people have died. The topics were Bobby Leach, the first person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel, the horse loving "Mr. Hands" and badass lawyer Clement Vallandigham. One of the three stories is a bit full on, but very very funny.We were also joined on stage by two of our funniest friends Nick Capper from The Phone Hacks podcast and the best in showbiz, Oliver Clark.Our website: dogoonpod.comSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READINGMr Handshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_casehttps://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=30811https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/videotapes-show-bestiality-enumclaw-police-say/https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/felon-accused-of-running-animal-sex-farm-in-whatcom-county/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serengy Amarna 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there. Canada, we are visiting you in September this year.

If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another intro to another episode of Dugo One. My name is Dave Warnke and I'm quickly here at the start of the episode to tell you that this week's episode was recorded live on a beach in Thailand in Kosovoi at the Kosovoi International Podcast Festival.

Where yesterday or a couple of days ago we just returned from after being there, for nearly a week as guests of the Little Dum Dum Club, who have organised that for the third year in a row. And man, I just want to say a very big thank you to Tommy and Carl, who from the Dum Dum Club, who were on two weeks ago were on our show. And just to say, a massive thank you to them for having us and to a big shout out to anyone who came to the festival. People were so welcoming and kind, and yeah, it was just so great to meet all of you.

And what an absolute dream come true. A dream I didn't even know I had when I started podcasting that we could one day record live on a beach in a tropical paradise. So that's what you're about to hear. I'm just going to let you know. I don't know if this is slightly a warning or something that we are all going to do a mini report on a topic that you may or may not have seen in the episode description. I know some people will avoid that.

With a fantastic guest, Nick Kappa and Oliver Clark who are also part of the festival. It is a lot of fun. One of the reports is probably a little bit more graphic than we usually go. And you'd be surprised to know it wasn't me who went to this graphic this time. I'm not going to tell you which a report it is, but I'm sure you work it out within about five seconds of this person. That's not me asking the question to get onto the topic. I think it is very, very funny as well, I should just say, but I don't know, just in case it's not our usual style. It's along this similar lines in a way to the death burial or cremation episode that I did very, very early on.

So there's just a bit of that. Just keep that of your back of your minds, and hopefully you're still okay with it. But if this is your first ever episode of Do Go On, you may love it. and it won't be like this that often, or you may hate it. And I will tell you that it won't be like that all of this often. It's not always this graphic. There's plenty of episodes out there to check out. Maybe don't start with this one's what I'm trying to say.

But it is a lot of fun. I really hope you do enjoy it. Please let us know, as always. You can get in contact, which I'll read out of the contact details at the end of the episode, or just go to our website. Do go onpod.com. I'll be back at the end to thank a few people that support the show on Patreon and do the usual stuff there.

But until then, please enjoy this episode. And yeah, keep in mind it was recorded live on a beach in Thailand, which is really, really cool. The audio, there was a bit of wave stuff going on. And my good friend Josh Mitchell, a big shout out to him. He is an audio engineer and sound composer. And I sent the files off to him, so he has cleaned it up a little bit. So I appreciate that. Josh.

And without further ado, do go on live at the Kosamui International Podcast Festival. Hello, Kosomu, how you doing? All right, welcome to another episode of Dogo On. My name is Dave Warnockie and I'm standing here on stage, on a beach in Thailand with Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Yay! Thank you so much. This is fucking wild. The speaker is right next to me.

So for me, the sound is great. Yeah. Wow. Shut up, Dave. Holy fuck. Hager was a bit where I had to test the microphones before. That will be the highlight of the festival for some of you. Dill and I made a drinking game where every time Dave says,

uh-huh, you take a shot. And when he goes, one, two, uh-huh. you skull. We're going to get fucked this holiday. Let me just say, uh-huh, a one-two, uh-huh. Oh, Matt, how are you doing? Yeah, great. It's good to be here.

Thanks, sir. Yeah. How are you? So, have you never heard the show before. We have to momentarily check in throughout the show with Matt to make sure that he's still awake, basically. He spaces out a little bit, but that's okay. That's all right.

That's not true. Hey, does anyone know who we are? Oh, that's very nice. Thank you very much. Thank you for lying. Yeah, that's very kind. Wait, no, hang on. You say, yeah, they talk about it.

They say, is anyone aware of Duke's law? Great. How many of those, though, only started listening when we were announced that we were coming here as well? A few as well. That's very nice of you. Thank you. Instead of just being like, no, we'll figure it out. That's very cool.

Thanks. Thanks for that sweet bump, Carl. Appreciate that. Much appreciate it. But at the other end scale, give us a round of applause. You've never heard the show before. Thank you. No need to be so proud in the front row, sir.

No, but I thought it was going to be the other way around. I thought most people were going to be like, hurry up. And fair enough. We don't say, uh, cuss on this show. Jess is really pandering to you. Yeah. I just want you to like us. But also, Dave, now Matt and I both said,

you have to do it well as well. Uh, one two, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Hey, you may also notice that we've left a couple of chairs. That's not because we hate each other. We are actually going to have a few guests as well. Well, Dave, would you like to bring on our guests? Well, ladies gentlemen, I know that you know and love them,

and I know that I know and love them. Could you please put your hands together, welcome to the state. Our special guest is Nick Kappa and Oliver Clark, yeah. Oh, we're upstanding. Please be upstanding for Oliver Clark and Nick Kappa. Oh, thank you so much. Two. Do we have enough chairs up here?

Yeah. Where do you want me? Sit down. You come right there, I see. Do we have enough chairs up here? That's good stuff. What a great start. So great to have you here, Oliver.

How are you? Well, I'm pretty good. My brain's a bit damaged, obviously. But here we are. Thank you very much for having me on your first live podcast in Samui. Yes. Wonderful stuff. When would you like me to sing?

Anytime, please. Whenever it feels right. You just go for it. I reckon your rendition of the theme song probably will sound better than the one we just played. It was pretty great. Thank you so much. I don't even know what it was.

That's what I was hearing. I don't know if that's. That's perfect. That's the best it's ever sounded. And how about you? Cap would you like to do an impression of our theme song? Do do, do, do, do do do do. Webien.

Capa designed a t-shirt for us last year and while drawing us had some interesting feedback. What did you say about our faces, Cap? They are the worst faces to draw in their history of faces. What you actually said was you've never seen such a lopsided bunch of sh** how is it?

Don't water it down here. Yeah. They're beautiful people and, well, not Matt. But, um, no, they're pretty,

Matt's the easiest to draw actually because he's got a, if he shaved that beard off, Jesus Christ. Well, can I just say, starting this week,

he's not the only one on this podcast with a beard. Oh, Dave. May I? We are one week in. Huh? Man, it was,

I thought, wow, am I doing a podcast with Dave? or Ned Kelly. Jesus, that is a beard. Thank you. Thank you so much. There's one other thing I've learned twice in my life now.

Once from listening to Dum-Dong Club lately and once from living with Nick Kappa for about a year. He's the stinkiest man in showbiz. Is that, that's a thing that comes up a lot. Did you know that they're? I think it's a rumor. I don't know if it's actually true, but... Hey, it's very hot here.

Okay? May I just stipulate that. But, yeah, I think it's a beautiful smell, and people get into it after a while. And it's why I've stayed in the career for so long. Is, you know, without it, you'd all miss me. Well, you had the reputation of Stinky Man, you've got to bring it. Yeah, also great riffs like this. Two things that have kept you in the game.

Great statements. You love it every time. And before we get into the show, I just want to point out, Oliver, just in case you're still feeling the effects of a certain water slide today. Would you like to describe to the people? at home and hear what you did to your brain and body this afternoon. Well, I think that's why my brain is feeling a bit. I might be, you know, have a bit of a concussion. Maybe.

I hit the water pretty hard. So went to the water with high sky, water park. Anyway, high park. Thank you very much. So I went contacts and I went down and suddenly the water was going in. I was like, oh, I better shut my eyes because my contacts are going to fly out. So I had no idea where I was going or when I was going to launch. So I went and I was like, oh, man.

I'm up. And then I just kind of did a few tumbles and landed. on my side and my cheek so I've got a bit of a shiner on the cheek and I've got a massive bruise on the torso here. The first man to get beat up by a pool. I know. It won't be the last time, I tell

you. Was it in ground or above ground? Well, he's just seeing the other guy. It's full of water. Well, it is great to you guys back, well, to have you on the show. And if you haven't heard the show before, basically what we do here at DoGo On is we usually take it in terms to write a report on a topic often suggested by a listener.

But this week, for our first episode here in Kosamilwe, we've decided to do a mini report each, the three of us, on an overarching theme. And inspired by our gracious hosts, the Little Dum Dum Club, we've decided to go with the theme of dumb, dumb, dumb deaths. People that have died in fucked up ways. That's right. So we're taking turns and I'm going to kick things off. Fantastic.

And we often start with a question. I don't know if you have written one, Jess, because if you have heard the show before, you'll know that Jess does not do that, despite it being a thing that we've done every week for 190 weeks in a row. It's a few. It's a few weeks.

And every time you say, and we always start with a question and I go, fuck! But I did today. Thank you very much. My question is, who was the first man to go over the edge of Niagara Falls in a barrel?

Oliver Club I didn't have my contacts here I just got in I don't know if you'll know this one does anybody in the audience have any clues you're shaking your head on behalf of everyone which I love that confidence Did you have someone?

You have an idea? A woman did it This is the first man To live That was to live To live, sure Lots of people do Yeah come on mate

Men can do things as well okay This isn't dumb ways to live. Otherwise, I would be in this, okay? There would be a report done on me. The answer is a guy called Bobby Leach. But before, I need to give you a little bit of context. So back in 1829, there was a guy called Sam Patch. He was known as the Yankee Leapster.

Oh. Which is the best. The Yankee Leapster. And he jumped off the top of Niagara Falls from a high tail. jumped and he survived somehow. All right. And he was basically known as the first American daredevil. He kind of started this trend of people just being like,

oh, I'm going to do dumb shit too. And lots of people did. An estimated 5,000 people have died going home for Niagara Falls. 5,000. It took them quite a while, but now it's illegal. It took that many. Jumping into one of the world's biggest waterfall. Yeah.

Maybe I'm the lucky one. Those idiots didn't know what they were doing. Do you reckon 4,998 people had died and they said, well, wait two more. And if it happens, Ben will Ben. You know, it's all that red tape. Do you think that these are the kind of people would be stopped by a law?

Yeah. Yeah, good point. Good point. No one to do anything illegal. So that was Sam Patch. He did that back in 1829. And 28 years after he first jumped, a man named Robert Lerner,

Leach was born in Manchester in the UK in about 1857 or 1858. Who knows? At the age of 18, he moved to the US and by then he was an expert swimmer and began his showbiz career with the circus. In fact, it was the Barnum and Bailey Circus made famous from the greatest showman. Before that, no one had ever heard of it. Wow, circuses were great back then. Look how fast this dude can swim.

Ooh, what a great. I love the stroke on that man. This is great. The swimming stroke, all right? Yeah, perverts. He was performing high dives and all sorts of exciting. You know, literally, exhibitions of trick swimming. Now on my back.

Oh. I'll pull a rabbit out of my eyes. Wow, it's got a snorkel and everything. This guy is good. In 1909, he dived off the 63 metre high honeymoon bridge into the Niagara River. Some accounts say that he had a parachute on. Some say he just dived into the Niagara Falls. Fuck.

But he survived. He amazingly survived. And in 1910, he went through the rapids leading up to the falls in a barrel because that seems like a smart thing to do. But he got stuck in a whirlpool and he had to be. rescued. He's great. But it was his trip over

the Falls in 1911 that made him the most famous. He wasn't the first person to go over Niagara Falls like it was mentioned here. That was achieved by a teacher named Annie Edison Taylor in 1901 on her 63rd birthday.

She got in a barrel and she just went for it. Apparently she just needed some cash. Really? Yeah, she was a bit strapped for cash. She was like, I'll do this. And people will give me some money, and I'll be right. Be able to pay my rent.

It's weird that people did these dumb things back then because you couldn't really go viral. It wasn't like someone did a drawing of it, and they're like, oh, I better pass this to Barry. I love this. I'll mail him, a drawing I did of this person going off a barrel in a waterfall. Yeah, you went over a waterfall and 14 people saw it.

Oh, man, are you the guy from the drawings? Yeah. That's so good. Oh, wow. Why is he going over in a barrel, by the one? Yeah, I don't know why a barrel. I think just for some protection. Maybe it's like a, you know, they brew whiskey and stuff in a barrel,

so if he went over, it would be a bit of a smoother ride, like a vintage whiskey. Moving on. Or at least your hammond. Yeah, at least you have. Is that where a barrel of fun comes from? I would assume so. That were the first bodies in the barrels.

Yeah. You got a pause for that. Well done. And an instant regret face. Very good. By the way, before Annie did this herself, she was like, I better run some tests. So she patted an oak and iron barrel with a mattress

and sent a cat over the falls instead. How many cats have died going over Niagara Falls? That number, we've lost count. It's basically what NASA did as well, right? Yeah, true. And the cat survived, by the way. A cat's fine. A little bit bruised, a little bit bloody, but it was fine, and she posed for photos with it afterwards.

Jesus. A bit fucked. Anyway, so then Annie decides to do it. She goes over. She survives. Obviously, like injuries, but she's alive. And after it, after she'd gone over the Niagara Falls, she said, if it was with my dying breath, I would caution anyone against attempting the feet. I would sooner walk up to the mouth of a cannon knowing it was going to blow me to pieces.

and make another trip over the falls. So she's quite passionate about it. She's like, maybe don't, but Bobby Leach did not listen. In fact, apparently for a time he owned and ran a restaurant and would boast to customers that anything Annie could do, he could do better. What a sad man. Wow, what a great restaurant. Do the burger challenge and you get to face the cannon.

Watch me stare into this cannon. He's a cool dude. So he decided to attempt to ride in a barrel over the falls But his barrel was more like a steel drum He began constructing a tube that would fit him in it And he could hit a faster speed than an ordinary barrel I mean one thing you need is speed in the situation Yeah

You want to die quickly Finally he came up with this like elongated steel barrel Just has like a little hole in it And that's where he purchases himself That sounds like a torpedo It kind of looks like that yeah It looks a bit like a cartoon torpedo of Niagara Falls. What a claim.

And his name is Elon Musk. So on the 25th of July in 1911 from the New York side of the river because the Canadian police had banned it, he went over the largest of the three waterfalls in the Niagara River, the 51 metre high horseshoe falls. And he survived. You're all thinking that's when he dies, but it's not. That's disappointing, to be honest.

He survived. And it was reported. reported at the time that he was completely unscathed, which was absolutely not true. He spent five months in hospital. He broke both his kneecaps, several ribs, and his jaw. But everyone was like, no, he did it, and he's fine.

Hey, waiter, what happened to the owner of this restaurant? He just went off of the waterfalls in a barrel. He's fine, he's fine. He'll be back in five months. Cool, yeah. Two soups, thanks. We'll get him to go. See, this is what you were talking about before, about going viral,

because one thing he did differently and arguably better than Annie Taylor was he capitalised on his stunt. After he recovered from his injuries, he toured with his barrel across the world. Through the US and through Europe. He's going around, he's telling the story, talking about how brave he is. Was the barrel still intact? Well, I think it must have been, because he had that with him, and people would take photos of him and the barrel.

He's checking an oversized baggie. waiting for it to come round to the conveyor belt. Oh, no, that's not mine. There's so many of these things. But then he's sort of when he does pick it up. He's like, oh, so is that my barrel? The one over there for? It's not like anyone can prove him wrong as well.

Like, hang on, that's not the barrel in the drawing. It looks slightly different. My old barrel. He's touring along. People are taking photos. In Feb of 1926, he was on a promotional tour in New Zealand. And this would be his last promotional tour because during his time in New Zealand,

he slipped on an orange peel. No. This would result in his death. He injured his leg. It became infected. He got gangrene and the leg had to be amputated. And there were complications post-surgery and he died after slipping over an orange pill.

And of course, obviously the question we're all thinking is what happened to the orange. But it was never found. And to this day, is the only orange in history to get away with murder. And that's the story of Bobby Leach. Yeah, Jess Perkins. I wonder if the 63-year-old teacher walked into his hospital bed and trot on an orange peel in front of him and just said, yeah, fuck you, buddy. Oh, did you look at that?

Oh, thank you so much. Pickable timing. Drink delivery. Drink delivery. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you, waiter. Yeah, so that's...

No, I'm fine. Hang on. He'll be back. Thank you. I thought your Pina Collada thing was a bit, but you're just about to have the second one. Yeah. Okay.

If anyone likes making love after midnight. But not before. If you like Pina Collada... Oh, I do. You do. Police room 3, triple 1. That's actually his room. That's his actual room.

That feels like a mistake. That's a dumb, yeah. If you've got drinks, charge it to 3-1-1-1. Oh, no. You dumb shit. You dumb shit. My signature looks a bit like this. I kept walking past my room

because I was like, why do I keep walking past it? I realize that 3-1-1-3 doesn't exist because I guess 13 is an unlucky number. Yeah, true. Is they still doing that? I thought that was a nice-fashioned thing. There's no 3213. Well, fuck me.

Really? Okay, I will. Room 3 double 1. But only after midnight. Only after midnight. All right, what if someone rocked up and said, I would like some sex, please, but I'm not a fan of the peanut collars.

Get the fuck out of my bedroom. I'm looking for my perfect match. I do like dancing in the rain, though. No, it's got to be all of them. It's all or nothing. I'm sorry, I only drink blue Hawaiians. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Thank you. How good is this? Thank you so much. Give it up for Aida, everybody. Yeah. What a good. All right, so great report. Let's kick us off there from Jess.

Matt, you are going up next. Yes. And I thought it was meant to be more fucked than that. So what was the topic again? Dumb Dumb deaths. Right. Which, when I hear dumb dumb, I think, fucked.

Yeah. So my question is, which dumb or unusual death led to beciality being outlawed Washington State in 2006. 2006! That's too recent! That's too recent. I also like the fact that before this podcast, you walked up to me and said,

oh, you being from the country, you'll like my story. I thought it was going to be like about a horse or something. It is. It is. But not in that way. I thought, oh, someone's died falling off a horse. They've fallen off in a different way. So, which Washington State was banned in 2006?

Before that, beastiality was A-OK. That's right, yes. Legally. And morally. In God we trust. Any Americans in? All right. He said that really proudly and then immediately went, oh, no.

Is that because of the bestiality thing? Yeah. You're not from near there, though. So it's fine. Hey, can I just put a question out there briefly? I've got a cat right, and the cat hops up on my bed in the morning. Okay, let's see where this goes. Now, I've got a pretty thick duneer, maybe sometimes too, in winter.

But sometimes that cat starts making muffins on my balls. Anyway, that's been doing it on, guys. We'll be back. It eventually gets kicked off, but not for a little bit. Is that... It's legal. Very good. Thank you very much.

Yeah. Look, I'm just, it's a, I guess, I'm putting it out to the people, but... You're asking podcast fans. They've all done this. Did any of you have an answer? I don't know. A bit rude. That is great.

Does anyone know what flight that is? They can timestamp when this was recorded. If people at home were wondering, we actually were outside on a beach. Yeah, yeah. Now they know. We didn't say that. We haven't said that all.

We said that. Yes. The beautiful sounds of a beach there. Flying overhead. Sorry, we didn't have an answer. No, I don't have an answer, Matt. Have any of you heard of this?

I've got no idea. No. No. It was Kenneth Pinyinion, aka Mr. Hans. Are you all familiar with Mr. Hans? Mr. Hans. Give me a round of applause if you know Mr. Hans.

Oh, that's a lot of you. All right. Mr. Hands. That's a mark of respect. Yeah. I don't hate it as a nickname. I'll be honest. No, it's pretty funny.

Is that what they called him at the zoo or something? Oh my God, that is, yes. Apparently, that's what they call it the zoo, the online chat rooms where they're into this. They call zoos. Oh, really? So that is what they call him at the zoo. Right.

You know a lot about this country boy. I would never go near a zoo. I know about Mr. Hands on the Farms. Sure. That's why you like John Deer so much. You love these. Dears. Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, let's read. All right, well, here is my report. In Washington State and USA, oral and anal sex was a criminal act until July 1st, 1976, when that law was repealed. The repealing of this law had an unintended flow-on effect, though, as written into the same piece of legislation, were other forbidden sex acts. Here is that piece of legislation.

Every person who shall carnally know in any manner, any animal, animal or bird, or who shall carnally know any male or female person by the anus, or with the mouth or tongue, or who shall voluntarily submit to such knowledge, or who shall attempt sexual intercourse with a dead body, shall be guilty of sodomy. So they went, we want to get rid of head jobs being illegal. Let's get rid of the lot. So everything was back on the table, accidentally, I think. I just haven't heard anybody say head jobs for a while either.

It's like year eight. Sorry, what do you say? Blowies. Yeah. Sorry. Hey, honey, guess what? You can give me blowy also. We get to fuck the budgie. Double win.

Woo-hoo. Big night in the cap of house. Why do they have to write that in, though? I'm guessing they didn't. Okay. It feels like a floor in the system. What a country. I love some.

Must be on a Friday or something where he's like, oh, just let them all through. I got a big weekend. I reckon there was probably one politician. politician going, yeah, no, yeah, I think it's fine. Let's just repeal the whole thing. Don't worry about it. Don't think about this too much. So when this law was repealed, not only was anal and oral sex decriminalized, but so was beasciality and necrophilia. The dumb death story I'm talking about today, though, involves

the bestiality. You probably figure that out from the question earlier. I don't know how you die from fucking a dead guy. You catch death. Unless it's contagious. Kenneth Pinyon was a divorced father an engineer who worked for Boeing. Pinyon was injured in a motorcycle accident which meant he lost the ability to feel certain sensations. Like shame?

Fuck anything. And he did. From there he became involved in increasingly extreme sex acts. including fisting, inserting oversized dildos, and this is where the law change becomes relevant, receiving anal sex from horses. Is this too much? I wasn't sure if this would be too much.

Is this a family resort? Not anymore. I'm sorry. Not anymore. The families are gone. I was so far into the report when I found out some of the details that it was too far to go back.

That's amazing. And you didn't think to just leave out some of the fucked details. How are you too far in when you know it's a man fucking a horse from the start? Being fucked by a horse. Oh, okay. That's way better. Suddenly horse racing seems all right.

Like, yeah. I'm like, oh, yeah, good on it. At least they're not fucking any... Before you started the report, I'd never consider that anyone could have sex with a bird. Have you thought about emu? Now it's all I'm thinking about. Yeah.

You're thinking of small birds Cairns. Cassowary! Oh yeah. Oh shit, yeah. That's a sexy bird. I think you insert them. I think that's the one.

Insert them. Good luck with that pelican, bro. Or a wandering albatross, the longest bird in the world. Right, funny and factual. I love it. Or the peregrine falcon, the fastest bird at the world. Oh, are you got any bird fax? The blue-footed booby.

Is that a bird? The funniest-sounding bird in the world. So he became involved in an online community of men called zoos, as Kappa told us, accidentally went on a bit too much before. And a lot of people ride horses as a hobby, but for these men, horses were more of a passion. And they let the horses do the riding. Oh, my God. So Barrow hurt you into horses.

He goes, yeah, you could say, they're into me. In this online community, Pinyon was known by the pseudonym Mr. Hands. No, it's no good. The group began meeting up at a farm in a rural area near Enumclaw, Washington. There, they would film each other being boned by horses. According to Charles Mudidi, who was behind the 2007 documentary about these events called Zoo, The men trained the horses to penetrate them by stripping, applying a horse-breeding pheromone

and bending over. I thought you just rub a bunch of peanut butter on it. Strapped an oatberg to your balls. I think it'd have to dress as a horse. Yeah, a lovely lady horse with big eyelashes. Yoohoo! Look at the flanks on that. How do they assume?

it's going to fit, seriously. Well, that's part of the problem here. Great. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Everyone here will just slowly cross their legs at some point.

I feel like you'd have to build up to it over days, just eating massive amounts of food, taking massive turds, just stretching that anus right out. Butt plugs, Ollie, butt plugs. Oh, yeah, that's an easy way. Now, I'd rather shit myself until I'm ready.

What if you just got a mechanical bull and just strapped a dildo on the end of that? That seems a lot more ethical. Yeah, yeah, I think so, yeah. And you'd have someone on a remote going, yeah, check this out. I'm really going to give this guy working. It could be fun. It's like a group activity. Yeah, it'd be like Nintendo, but you're stressing someone's asshole.

Medidi also suggested that the men had a fixation on large penises and that they had nothing to do with horses really. It was just the most accessible big dick. Hey, that's the nickname of the horse. Accessible big dick? Big dick, yeah. All right. Wow, they're really creative with the names.

Forget Pegasus, the sexual Pegasus or Mr. Head. Has anyone got any other ones? Neal. No, nothing. Madudi also said that Pinyon did not truly love horses and was not a true zoo file, although Pynion did have a plastic cast created of the penis of his favourite horse who was named Strut. Strut.

All right. What is wrong? With Matt, I know. I'm sorry about him. That is just crazy. How did a motorbike accident lead to this? That's what I want to know. Yeah, when are you going to hire a motorbike? Yeah, I'm into motorbikes, and I'm never riding one again.

Now that you've heard you can bring horses in. It's like my mum, she doesn't like motorbike. She thinks they're too dangerous. Don't let her get access to this story. Nick, don't you ride that motorbike again? Next thing you know you'll be getting in a stable getting fucked by strut. Just plays the video every time we go for a ride. Pinyon, along with truck driver James Michael Tate and another unknown man,

would often visit the farm near Enum Claw. And on the fateful day of July 2nd, 2005, they visited the farm for the last time. After filming Tate getting done by a stallion, Tate then filmed Pinyon having his turn. By this time, something went wrong, and Pinyon went limp. His body went limp. How about the horse? The horse? Never went limp.

The horse long and strong. The unknown man drove Pinyon to the Annum Claw Community Hospital in search of medical assistance. He drove him to a vet. And according to the Seattle Times, medics wheeled the man into an examination room before realizing that he was dead. What? And when hospital workers looked for the driver, he was gone. He bailed. It was weird. He didn't want to hang around and explain himself. Pinyon was identified as the 45-year-old Seattle resident from his driver's license.

And according to the King County Medical Examiner's Office, he died of acute peritonitis due to a perforation of the colon. But on the plus side, he died doing what he loved. No, he died being done what he loved. Pinion's family were contacted for comment a couple of weeks after the incident

and said, they never suspected he was involved in bestiality. And that they were surprised when they learned he had purchased the thoroughbred stallion earlier in the year. It really came out of the blue to them. He's never shown an interest in horses before. Never before.

They only sound slightly surprised though, don't they? Yeah. It was a couple weeks later. They had time to, you know, make... Is two weeks enough time to process that? Yeah. Jesus. I'll be thinking about this story for weeks.

So did they... Because they had a fascination with huge penises. Yeah. Well, they're getting, you know, fucked by huge penises. And they're like, nah, let's go real extreme with this shit. Like, let's buy some horses, really go all the way. Yeah. No one's perforating my rectum.

I need something that really puts a hole in that thing. Horse, he's the only one that's going to do it. The cops were able to track down the farm and there they found hundreds of videotaped hours of horse on man action, including footage of Pinyon's fatal final ride. I thought that was a pretty good turn of phrase that I came over there.

Fatal final ride. Yeah, you are a poet. The police watched all the tapes In search of illegal activity Some guys volunteered very early on Because BCality was not illegal They were searching for evidence of animal cruelty They wanted to get their surviving two guys on something

Couldn't get them on BCALE so they wanted to get them on animal cruelty They found the exact opposite If you zoom in on this one you can see the horse's tears Oh my God. Lips quivering. This horse tried to buy one kilo of ice. According to Charles Madoudi, the prosecutor's office wanted a charge tape with animal abuse.

Great name. But the police found no evidence of abused animals on the many videotapes they collected from his home. As there was no law against humanely fucking a horse, This is his quote The prosecutors could only charge tape with trespassing So they did That's what he got done for in there

Wow The trespassing charge came about As some of the sex acts Caught on film occurred on a neighbour's farm With a neighbour's horse And this was discovered when police Showed the neighbours the tapes They were showing them all around

They had a screening at the local cinema Gather around, gather around Have a look at this Have a look at these hundreds of hours of footage We'll just play it. You can just pop in and out. It's a movie marathon. We're going to show it in widescreen.

The neighbours who declined to be identified said they were shocked and angry after seeing the footage. You don't say. After watching the tapes, Enumclaw police commander Eric Sautland said, we couldn't believe what we were seeing. In the rare, rare case this happens.

It's the person doing the animal, not the other way around. I think that this has led to the astonishment of all the entities involved. I agree. Judge David Christie gave Tate a suspended one-year sentence as well as a $300 fine and one day of community service. Tate was also ordered to never visit the farm again, the harshest penalty of all.

Due to opinion's death, the Washington legislature made BCLity a Class C felony, punishable by up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine. Before his death, Pinyon had bought a property with a small barn where he could have kept his horse. And as Charles Medudy later wrote, if Pinyon hadn't died that day, not only would BCRDD still be legal in Washington State, but near the shores of Oak Harbor,

an engineer who worked on the most complex machine in the history of the world at Boeing, would be practically married to a horse, a descendant of the dominant means of transportation for centuries. On the surface, the situation would have looked normal. Pinyin, a proud equestrian by day, brushing his horse's mane, riding the handsome creature, but at night he would cross the line. Makes you think.

Anyway, that's the end of my report. That's shit. Next time you sit in a Boeing, going wow this screenback entertainment is amazing like a dude who got fucked by a horse made this apparently the video did go viral a few years later and it was called was it called two men one horse oh Mr. Hands sorry

just called Mr. Hans you are too open about knowing that how much you've seen the whole thing how many hundreds of hours have you watched just the one just the one just the 100 hours that's all right then understood Fuck. Dave, tell me you've picked something lighter. Yeah. Well, that is the first time you've ever heard our show. I'm so, so sorry. I'm not. Welcome.

We have one final report to go, and that is one of my ones here. And originally, I thought I would do a topic from my favourite Wikipedia page, which, if you don't know, is a list of inventors killed by their own inventions. Yeah, so good. Followed closely by my second favorite, which is a list of popes who died violently. which includes an entry on John the 14th who, quote, died by either starvation, ill-treatment or direct murder.

One of the three. God bless Wikipedia. So specific there. But anyway, that's not my topic. My question is, if you were arrested in Ohio, funny that all three of these dumb deaths take place in the United States. There's someone from Ohio here. Ohio? No.

Not here anymore. Over there. There we go. Oh, hello. And Ohio. Am I saying that right? My question is, if you were arrested in Ohio in 1871, which lawyer do you want representing you?

In 1871? In 1871. I'm going to guess that no one actually knows this. Okay, well, I'll give you a clue and tell you the answer. The answer is Clement Vellon Diggum. Oh, I was going to say that. Oh, really? My first guess was obviously Robert Kardashian.

Oh, okay, of course. Yeah, that was my guess as well. Think of a lawyer. I was singing Sandy Cohen. Of course. You're always thinking about Sandy Cohen. I am always thinking of Sandy Cohen, yes. Fucking love Sandy Cohen.

I can picture him running in with his board under his arm. Any fans of the OC in? I love me, yes. Thank you. All right, so Clement Van Badigan, he really went above and beyond for his clients, and this is his dumb dumb death. Clement Laird-Velland-Diggum

was born. I hadn't said it out loud before, so we're getting through it. I'm going to say a few more times. Boulorn, Boulon, and born. July 29th, 1820 in Lisbon, Ohio. He was homeschooled, first red flag, by his father, a Presbyterian minister, second red flag. Any homeschooled Presbyterians?

He went to university but did not receive his degree after being honorably discharged from the college for having an argument with a senior member of stuff. So the argument clearly went well enough for him to be honorably dismissed, but he was not allowed to graduate. Despite not having a degree, he started practicing law in Dayton, Ohio. And if you can become a lawyer without a degree, you can, you get pretty confident. You think you can do anything. So he entered politics. Of course. He was elected as a Democrat to the Ohio legislature in 1845. Should not have had the second peanut collata.

Here we are. Let's go number three. Yeah. Aiden, where are you? Hayden, more pinacoladas. He runs. I mean, you're just sitting still like I'm joking. More peanut colladas.

Yeah, all right. All right. I'm going to get it. I'm getting it. He's going, yes. He doesn't even work here. He does not. He's just handy.

Dave, continue. Sorry, then. Despite not having a Lord of agree, I've already said that, so I'm just trying to make this a little bit bigger for me because... Maybe he was inspired by a 63-year-old teacher that went off a waterfall. Well, he ran for Congress in 1856 but was narrowly defeated. Bellam-Digham disputed the vote saying illegal votes had been cast and he'd been robbed. And eventually the House found in his favour and he was elected.

But it took so long he was only elected on the last day of term. So after all that, he sat as a politician for one day. Fortunately for him, he was elected a member of the US House of Representatives. in 1857, in the big leagues, and whilst in politics, felon, bigum or digum, was stringently opposed to the principles and policies of the then newly formed Republican Party, particularly as they are related to the slavery issue. Despite being from Ohio in the northern part of the Midwest, he had southern ancestry and really had idolized the southern way of life, which is basically code for he was in favor of keeping

slavery. Great. This is just four years before the US civil. war, which put very simply, if you're not aware, the North wanted to abolish slavery and the South wanted to keep it. And during this war, Valandigham became one of President Abraham Lincoln, leader of the North's most vocal critics. He also became commander of the secret anti-war knights of the Golden Circle, later called the Sons of Liberty, a military group originally formed with the plan of taking over the entirety of Mexico for the South that failed horribly. It didn't work out.

he made secret speeches in Ohio against Lincoln that quickly became not so secret and according to Britannica he became one of the most hated men in all of the North He went viral It seems silly to do a speech in secret No one's there to hear it What's the point?

He was talking in front of the mirror And somehow Abraham Lincoln found out about it But he kept up his criticisms despite this And he was eventually arrested for treason And sentenced to prison To avoid making him a martyr for his cause President Lincoln soon commuted his prison sentence to banishment to behind Confederate lines in the South. So basically he had to go south and stay there.

But he found his life in the South to be quite boring. So he moved to Canada. So he erected a barn. Versus his first thoroughbred. Once you have one, you can't stop. And could you please, next time you guys do one of these episodes, have a meeting and say, can we put the horse fucking story at the end? Because I'm still reeling from that.

You're talking about all this stuff. And really, I'm just picturing a barn with men surrounding. And they have purposely built this thing. Yeah. And they have all organized this. Anyway, sorry. Are you thinking about the logistics of having a horse fuck a group of men? Well, first of all, you've got to buy a barn.

Okay. And then you've got to buy a horse. And then you've all got to, you know, have a group that surely someone in the group would have gone, well, is it. Isn't this a bit wrong? So you've got to get rid of all the killed yours. Caput, you've got an eight-minute bit about fucking a dog. Do I?

I can't remember. He's making out with a dog. I read the subtext. The subtext. Sorry, sorry, mate. I just want to say he moved to Canada where you possibly build a barn. Well, he moved there basically so he can harass the north of the US from the border. which I imagine it's just him yelling obscenities

through some sort of megaphone over the border. Can't confirm it, that's actually true. He returned to the United States quote under heavy disguise. Again, no details. He's got a big mustache. Hello.

Hello. Hello, I'm here to fuck a horse. I am a lawyer. Oh, thank you so much. Another pinnacle on it. Oh, you don't have to click. All right. Thank you.

Very good man. What a great guy. Pena collater delivery. So he's under heavy disguise and he publicly appeared at an convention in Ohio in 1864. But the disguise clearly wasn't that great because Abraham Lincoln was immediately made aware of his presence. He could sense him. He's near. Basically, this is all just preamble so you know he's a fuckhead and don't feel as bad for him when he eventually dies.

Which is definitely coming soon. Long story shorty, the North won the Civil War, slavery was abolished, and Vellon Diggum was on the losing side. So cap in hand, he returned to Ohio and tried to get re-elected in the Senate and the House of Representatives separately, but failed in both campaigns, so he had to go back to his law practice. So in 1871, now 51 years old, our main man was hired to be a part of the defense team for Thomas McGean, who was accused of murdering Tom Myers in a shootout in a saloon bar brawl in Hamilton. Ohio. Tom Myers had been shot in his side and had bled out and died in the bar. Valand Diggins' theory and defense argument was that his

client hadn't shot Tom Myers, but rather Tom Myers had accidentally shot himself. Right. It's cut and dry. If the glove don't fit, he shot himself. If you look at exhibit A, it is that the gun, barrel, is shaped

like a horseshoe. You really can't get your mind out of the horse's. Man, seriously. Like, there was a special club that did this. Anyway, I mean, a bar. A sacred place to a country boy. A place where you learn your chores where you bond with your father.

Oh, God. By being fucked by the same horse. Tonight, Nick, you become a man. Bring in father. Mr. Hands is my father's man. Forget the pony. We're putting you straight in the deep end. Get strut.

I never had you for training wheels. Anyway, sorry. A bit serious. A club that did it. Yeah, it's wild. And the best part is, like you said, discuss it ahead of time. Matt said his report was like

not a show stopper. He was like no, I'll go on the middle. No, I said it was too fucked to go first or last. Need a sandwich in the middle. Yeah, a fucked sandwich. A whole sandwich. Anyway, being a man of science, our lawyer now, Vellandigham conducted

a few ballistic tests to gather evidence to prove his theory that the man had shot himself. He then went back to his hotel, now called the Golden Lamb Inn, Ohio. his oldest hotel. Have you been there? You gotta go. No. I am so disappointed in you.

He went there with these other defence companions who, according to all that's interesting.com, said to him, quote, there are three shots left in your pistol. You had better discharged them. Did he take this advice? Hell no. He just asked, What for? The reply came

to prevent any accident. You might shoot yourself. To which Val said, no danger of that. I have carried practiced with pistols too long to be afraid to have a loaded one in my pocket. And in his defense, that didn't happen. He kept his perfect record of never accidentally shooting himself in his pocket. That would be ridiculous and very, very dumb. What he did instead was carefully carry the gun in his pocket all the way back to the hotel

where he put it down on a table next to another very similar-looking but unloaded pistol. A few minutes later, he wanted to show off his theory as to how he thought the supposed murder victim Tom Myers may have accidentally shot himself. His theory was that Myers' gun had gone off as he drew it from his pocket whilst rising from a kneeling position. To demonstrate this,

Valandigam then grabbed a pistol from the table. Put it back in his pocket and then slowly pulled it out and pressed it to his side and pulled the trigger. A loud shot rang out, not too dissimilar to the sound of a gun going off. He then yelled, My God, I've shot myself.

My God. He had accidentally grabbed the loaded pistol and now lay mortally wounded. Friends and well wishes, and of course doctors came by to see him over the next 12 hours. But surgeons were unable to locate the bullet and he died the following day. Jesus. Some good came from his dumb, dumb death, however. He had proven that his client Myers, or sorry, that the murder victim one, was able to shoot himself accidentally, and his client, Thomas McGian, was acquitted of the murder charge because of this evidence.

Yeah. He got him off. He got him off. That is above and beyond. He died doing what he loved. Practicing the law terribly. That's good customer service. Being a shit lawyer.

However, a final note here, it should be noted that his client, Thomas McGian, was shot to death in his own saloon just four years later in a very similar incident. And that is my dumb, dumb death. Dave Warnock here, everybody. But still, there was a club. I know. It's so hard to follow the horse fucking. Like a website. Where they got together anyway.

Yeah. And it was recent. Yeah. It was quite recent. Great story, Dave. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so, so much.

And thanks to everyone for coming out, obviously, to the Coast of Movie International Podcast Festival with the first podcast here. We appreciate you. here. It is. It's amazing. It really is. Yeah, it's awesome. Thank you for having us. It's been very, very fun. It's really exciting. We're here in a few nights' time. You'll probably see us around,

actually. Yeah. Room 3-1-1-1. Your bill is going to be fucked. It must be after midnight. I cannot stress that enough. I will not be ready before then. I need a few more of these. Oh, anyway.

Oh, boy. But anyway, Nick Happer and Oliver Club, thank you so much for being our lovely guests here. Appreciate that. Let's give a big round of applause to these guys. Thank you for having me. Really beautiful. For the people at home that might be listening,

do we have any fantastic things coming up in the world of the OC you might like to tell them about? Well, in Australia, I'm on Kinney tonight, which is a Channel 10 TV show. And that's about it for the time being, yes, more things in the works. Fantastic. How about you, Nick Hapie? You've got a podcast, phone hacks?

The phone hacks podcast, yes. Yep. Yeah. People are aware of that, I love it. Yes, and also I will be, I will have some stable related news. Stable relationship.

Hey, just hit me up. If you want to join a new club. Saddle Club. Yeah, Saddle Club. The Saddle Club really took a turn for the worst. I'm never taking my daughter there again. Hello World. This is me.

Life could be. Ooh, ooh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm taking my door to the Saddle Club. All right, there's something I have to tell you as a father. Do not get them confused because otherwise. We should get up this stage. The headliners come on.

Yes. All right. Thank you so, so much, guys. We appreciate it. We've been doing going on and until the next time. Say goodbye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Thank you. Thanks, guys. Thank you. And you're back in a cold, wet Melbourne studio with. Dave Warnocky here. I'm going to tell you, I'm already missing that beautiful Thai weather. Man, it was so nice over there. But got to get back to the routine sometime. Now, I hope you enjoyed that episode. And if you want to get in contact, I'll read out the details in just a second at Do Go On Pod and all the things, basically. But before we do that, we have to do the Patreon

section of the show where we shout out and say thanks to many of the beautiful people that support the show on Patreon. And if you want to be one of those people, all you have to do is go to patreon.com slash do go on pod and in exchange you'll get two bonus episodes a month at a certain tier that no one else will hear all that kind of stuff. We'll give you a shout out. You get access to our exclusive Facebook group where people get to talk about the show and, you know, hang out and just ask us questions, all that kind of stuff and a bunch of other little rewards, including what we like to call the fact, quote or question section of the podcast. If members of the exclusive, there's only a couple of dozen people in the Sydney

Scheinberg deluxe package level, rest in peace, Sydney. They get to submit a fact quote or question, which I'll read out in just a second, and also give themselves a nickname on the show. So I'm going to read out the nickname now, and this week's fact quote of question comes from Gary Jay. Already a fantastic name. I'm going to say that right off the bat, even in Matt's absence, Gary Jay, who has given himself the title of General Dog's Body.

I'll do as I'm told in brackets there. Thank you, General Dog's Body, Gary J. And Gary has decided to submit a fact to the fact-quodot question hat, which means I'm reading this for the first time, as Matt usually does. And also, not fact-checking this. I've just read ahead in my mind, and Gary, I hope this is correct. And even if it isn't, if you've just made this up, well, you're a legend. Okay, so Gary, General Dogsbody's fact for us on the fact-quot-quest section of the podcast is

the Queen's nickname is Gary. Since William couldn't pronounce Grammy as a baby, it came out as Gary and it stuck. Man, I hope that's real. The Queen's nickname is Gary. That is the best. I wish that Matt was here to hear that. I think you should tweet in, tweet Matt. Let him know that the Queen's nickname is Gary.

So thanks Gary, Jay. God, I hope that is correct. And also I'm going to shout out just to three people this week. Just so this doesn't go on too long. You don't have to hear my solo voice for 25 minutes at the end of the episode. So three fantastic Patreon supporters that I'd like to shout out to now. Now, we usually play a game with the names of the people, and I easily could have gone with something that plays on Mr. Hands or a strut

or something horse-related. I can't even remember what my topic was, and I've just edited it again, because that middle topic really was something else, wasn't it? And I think we'll all be thinking about and talking about that for a long, long time. But I'm not going to go on that. I'm going to actually riff on something that Jess had on her topic, which is also a great story, just overshadowed. by Matt's report.

Just talked about the first person to survive, first man to go over, Horseshoe Falls and the Niagara Falls, and remember he died after slipping on an orange peel. So I'm going to read out three people's names now, and I'm going to give you potential badass things that you could do, and then what you could slip on immediately afterwards to undo the badassery there.

I'm not saying this will definitely happen to you, but if the first thing happens, the heroic feat, I'd just be worried and avoid what I'm about to read it. So thank you so much to Jen Connor from Colac right here in Victoria, Australia, for your support of the show. Now, Jen, I'm sure you are a big badass. And that is why I think that your possible badass act and then way to die is you were shot out of a cannon and survived. And then when you got up, you accidentally put on some of those shoes with wheels in the heels called Healy's, I believe, and then rode off of a cliff.

Oh, what a way to go. Imagine that. You accidentally put on shoes that look exactly like your own shoes, except that they're ones with wheels in them, and you can't control yourself, and you fall off a cliff. Thanks, Jen. It is weird to talk about how people could die, but at least you'd have a story to tell.

At least you'd have a story to tell. I'd also like to thank from a Royal Oak in Michigan over in the United States. I'd like to thank Calvin Parker. Big shout out to Calvin Parker, who your parachute failed, but somehow you survived, only to once back on earth trip and fall into a fish tank. They got stuck on your head and you drowned with the goldfish watching on. But don't worry, they're not traumatized.

Their memories are so short that they would forget instantly and they'd keep seeing your face in the fish bowl and remembering until you were dragged out of the fishbowl cold. Oh, thank you, Calvin Parker. At least you survived the parachute thing, huh? Huh? Anything after that is a bonus, even if it is 15 minutes before. falling into a fish tank.

And finally, I'd like to thank from Victoria also in Blackburn, Stephanie Mitchell. Thanks for you support Stephanie Mitchell. And of course, I believe that you could set the world record for the most cheeseburgers eaten in one setting. One sitting, one setting, which is over 300 cheeseburgers, I believe. And only to slip on the mustard that you hadn't eaten and died much like our man from Niagara Falls.

And you're also then robbed of the world record because technically you should. should have eaten all of the mustard as well. So it's actually a failed attempt. So, Stephanie, at least you died thinking that you'd set the world record. Am I right? Am I right? Now, I think that all of the Patreon supporters will live on forever. And that is a way to guarantee that is to head to patreon.com slash do go on pod.

That is a reward. If you get to a certain tier, we will keep you alive forever, even if it just means keeping you on life support for many, many decades. So you too can get shot out of a cannon and then survive because of your Patreon support if you go to patreon.com such do go on pod. And if you want to get in contact at any time, our links are all on the website. Do go onpod.com, which is our website that we own, run and operate. And there's links to our Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube.

We've got a Red Bubble account, which means you can buy our merch designs printed on T-shirts, hoodies, pants, mugs, laptop covers, iPad covers. all that kind of stuff. And then, yeah, basically they print it on demand. A little bit of money goes to Red Bubble for their service. And then a little bit goes to us and we keep the show going. And you get a cool thing to wear. And if you ever do that and you want to take a photo of yourself wearing the merch,

that makes us feel really good too. All right. So thank you to Jen Connor, Calvin Parker, Stephanie Mitchell, three of the very best that will live until forever. Thank you so much for your support. And everyone for listening to the show. We'll be back next week with another episode. I think we'll be back in the studio next week,

but we did record one other one live at the Costa Movie Podcast Festival, which we hope to release soon. with another couple of special guests. And until next week, I'll say thank you, and I will also say goodbye. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Don't forget to sign up to our tour mailing list

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