Do Go On - 193 - An Explorer, A Pimp And Many, Many Beers (with Dilruk Jayasinha and Brett Blake)

Episode Date: July 3, 2019

Our final episode from the Koh Samui International Podcast Festival features three mini reports all discussing a crazy journey. We've got explorer Ranulph Fiennes battling frostbite, eccentric millionaire Charles Bedaux heading off into the wilderness with limos and caviar as well as Australian cricketing legend David Boon setting a world record for most beers drunk on a flight... Featuring special guests Dilruk Jayasinha and Brett Blake.Tickets to our 200th episode and quiz live in Brisbane August 11 here.Our website: dogoonpod.comSupport the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasREFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:Boonie's Beer Flighthttps://whttps://www.foxsports.com.au/cricket/wade-boggs-claims-to-have-drunk-107-beers-on-us-crosscountry-trip-shatters-david-boon-australia-to-uk-mark/news-story/6a330c381100acf3effb5d7256dadcb6ww.couriermail.com.au/sport/cricket/fiery-paceman-carl-rackemann-on-his-test-career-and-life-on-the-land/news-story/77e6d58f8224ece7b096d25bb82fef04https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2002/oct/21/cricket.ashes3https://www.theage.com.au/sport/cricket/booze-dollar-welcome-but-goodbye-wave-20070203-gdpe50.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap1https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Boonhttps://www.slideshare.net/bluurb/boon-52-not-out

Melbourne and Canada, we got exciting news for you. And we should also say this is 2026. Jess, what year is it? 2026. Thank God you're here. Right now, I'm in Melbourne doing my show with Serenji Amarna, 630 each night at the Cooper's Inn Hotel, having so much fun. We'd love to see you there.

Canada, we are visiting you in September this year. If you've somehow missed the news, we are heading up Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal, and Toronto for shows. That's going to be so much fun. Tickets for all this stuff, I believe, are online. And I'm here too. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates.

Hello and welcome to another intro to another episode of Do Go On. My name is Dave Warnocky and I'm here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins, ready to intro this week's episode. You don't have to say that. It's at the start. What you're doing is the intro. You don't say welcome to the intro. You clearly didn't listen to two weeks ago because I said this exact thing. Yeah, no, we don't listen to our own podcast, no.

We weren't here for it to tell you you're doing it wrong. Yeah, well, thanks for trusting me and not listening to it. That was the little test to see if you did trust me. What a lame thing to do. No, it's like saying welcome to another intro. I enjoyed it. You did great. We're here in the studio to tell you that this week's episode was recorded live on a beach

at the Kosami International Podcast Festival. That's not true. This was recorded live in a cafeteria near a beach. Actually, that is very, very true. We started on the beach. The gig was nearly set up and then a torrential storm. hit. Yeah, which is good fun.

I imagine we probably mentioned it in the episode that we're sitting near the omelet station. Yes, we were inside where people had breakfast at the buffet each day. It's still a really fun gig in there. Oh, it was awesome. Good vibe. Great fun room. But it wasn't on the beach. Good Pels, Dililocks Dillard Ringer and Brett Blake.

Logie Award winner. We talk about this in the episode. Yeah, I'm sure we do. If we don't, huge over the... The oversight on our part. Oversight? Yeah. I can't talk.

We had a great episode coming up. Before we do that, we're going to tell you that our Brisbane show is now fully on sale. Woo-hoo. Sunday, August the 11th, the whole afternoon show. You've got us doing our 200th episode. A little break, hang out, get a drink, and then we'll come back. We're going to do an interactive do-go-on quiz. Yes, we did something similar when we were on our UK tour.

We did it in Leeds, and it was probably one of the highlights for me of that whole trip. It was so much fun. I got to be the hype man. I came out before you two And I spent a few minutes with the crowd It was fantastic listening to you work It really was Yeah, it was a privilege

Watching it back on the Patreon bonus video That cuts off my head It was a hard watch But anyway, I'll work on my schick It was hard to watch your chest Pump over crap Yeah But it did a great job

So yeah definitely come along to that If you are in Brisbane Or if you have friends in Brisbane Send them along because it's going to be a lot of fun Hell yeah So that's almost 11 Say if you know Bernard Fanning Or the members of Custid

Or maybe the Greats or any other Brisbane bands, like the Go-Betweens. Maybe they could open for us. Maybe regurgitator. Yes. Anyone else? Do you know anyone else famous from Brisbane? From Brisbane? Wait, do you ask me like I should know?

Kevin Rudd, I think it's from Brisbane. No, I wasn't testing you. I just wanting to know if you had anything else to contribute. Matthew Hayden's a Queenslander. Obviously, Alfie Langer. Obviously. I'm not going for the obvious ones. Okay.

Well, I don't know. Where do you want me to go? Billy Slater's from up there somewhere. Great. We found the limit there. Fantastic. So basically the show is on sale now. You can go to do-goonpod.com and click on the show's link

or just click the ticket link in the description of this episode. And stay tuned. Other places in Australia, we've got some more shows coming up. Your eyes in the fire. Absolutely. I've got our fingers in lots of pies. Too many pies. And that's not the only thing that some of us are doing

Brisbane that week. That same week, yeah. I think maybe even the following day, we open our international debut premiere of Jess and my show Razzle-Dazzle, which is basically a bunch of new stand-up material. It could be really good. Who knows? At this stage, it's not really anything. It could be anything. Yeah. Yeah, that's a better way. But looking at it. So it's going to be fun. I think it's going to be loose and fun. Definitely. It's going to be great. I mean, we say, oh, we have haven't really play anything. But we're two very good comedians,

absolute professionals. So, I mean, it's not going to be terrible. It won't be terrible. It won't be bad at all. I guarantee it won't. I guarantee it won't be terrible. And you can find out more info about that at mattschewoodcom

com slash gigs and probably other places. That's the only website that I have remembered in the whole internet now. Yeah. So do that. So we're doing shows the 12th, 13th and 15th of August in Brisbane. So come along to that as well. Well. And if you use the discount code, do go on.

There's no promises, but that could be a code. Yeah. Fuck, we are organized. Yeah. True professionals. Look, I like to keep a little mystery. Yeah. And also I like to let down our producer.

We gave us some very clear messages to tell you. She's honestly doing such a good job. And she's really pushing shit uphill. We are the shit. Do you get the top of a hill? Yeah. Yeah. It's in the Hayar Bar where we did our Brisbane live do gone a few years ago.

It's a good venue, great venue. Great venue. We're going to have a lot of fun. I'm very excited about it. Pumped. All right, team. So Brisbane, come see us that week. And everyone else, enjoy this episode.

Yeah. Yeah, let's hear Dave introduce it all again. Yeah, because remember this was just the intro. Here he goes. We'll see you at the end. So for the final time, this Coast of Movie International Podcast Festival, please give it up for DoGo on. And welcome to another.

episode of Do Go On. This one recorded live on the beach front restaurant. Okay, my name is Dave Walnike and I'm standing here on stage with two of the best in the biz. It's Jess Perkins and Matt Stewart. Yeah, how's it going? Oh, hang on. Hello. Hey, we're also brutal assholes to the tech. Your dog? Yeah. You'll have a look at this town again. Did you hit record? He knows what he's doing. Okay. Well, it is so great to be here. For the people listening at home, we are here at the Crocamoving International Podcast Festival,

the final night of the festival. And we have been doing a lot of gigs and stuff on the beach, but tonight we were rained out. Tommy Dasselo, one of the organizers of the festival from the Dumb Club, had literally plugged in the last lead and turned around and just a wall of rain was coming towards. So we had to move, but we are,

and we are indoors at the Ozo-Chuang breakfast buffet establishment. Yeah. Yeah, let's hear it for the Eggman. How good is that egg guy? Let's hear it for the egg bang. Yeah, so good. It's so good to be here.

But yeah, how are you, Jess and Matt? We good? I'm great. That's a lie. But I'm fine. Yeah, we all went a little too hard last night. I'm not 18 anymore. I can't do five nights in a row.

I'm fucked. I've been so irritable and shitty all day. And Matt was like, is it just a come down from all the sugar? And I'm like, probably. I don't know. Yeah, she's been a real handful today, Al Jets. So look forward to that. Now, we've been having a great time at the festival,

but it's not just the three of us in the show tonight. Yeah, no, I'm all right as well, Dave. Sure, I don't have a tale of woe for you, like my friend here, but I'm just having a nice time here by the beach. No complaints. Please have me back. Oh. Well, we're going to be joined on stage by two guests.

Can you please give him a big round of applause now. You know him in love of it. Still, Rook Joy, singer and Brett Blake. Yeah. We are on. We are on. Dill, you are on. Hello. Dill, you are on. Hello.

Dill, Logie Award winner, Star of Utopia. Have you been paying attention? Guilty? A podcast called Fitbet with Ben Lerette with Ben Lowe. Mass. You've also used to live in Sri Lanka. You have... Do you say you still? You still? You still? Well, yeah, I dabble, yeah. Is that listed on his IMDB credits?

To be fair, I am wearing a Sri Lank and Guernsey right now. That's what I think that's what tricky. Because Sri Lanka is playing Australia in the World Cup at the moment and Australia just got 300. So, ooh. Shh, no, let's not do that. So please keep going. So great to have deal here. Is there any more credits from you there? Oh, there are, but we'll stop there.

I want to hear what you got for the Brett. Me too. Brett Blake, ladies'nam There's two jokes there. Anyway, you may know him from Channel 7, 9 and 10 when he was 15 years old. All platforms feel. Fuck you and you're Logie.

When we discovered last night, Brett, that you were arrested at 15 for inciting a riot. Allegedly. Oh, so sorry. So sorry. At the age of 15. Yes. Wow.

Yeah, and don't want to go much more into that. But there was a quiz question. I did not think they'll be recorded. Thank you. You're also dyslexic, though. Were you just trying to inside a trio? Like... When I get that joke, I'll have a fucking fiery comeback.

Anyway. Oh, I got it. Fuck you, dickhead. Sing. I don't know. It takes a long time to wind up, but when I get there, I get there. It is fantastic to have both of you guys on the show.

Thank you very much. Like, such an excitement. Shit. I've become bread. It's very exciting. Thank you. So this is the podcast where we talk about fucking horses, yeah? That's the one. Allegedly, yes.

I think that's all on the record, Dave. Mack, do you want moving forward? I cannot see you at all. It's super weird. We should like bow out. Yeah, let's do it. I'll stay put and you move. There we go.

Oh, that is good stuff. You and I are like, we don't move for anybody. you and wow oh okay so for people listening at home Matt's pushed his chair into the crowd and he's actually facing us that has a vantage point there it kind of looks like some sort of public hanging or shaming that we're doing that we have the masses out there here's the jury and like I'm going to hold my thumb and you know whether we kill you or not what's my crime what's your so you're a saint supporter you've been through enough shame buddy get back over here Not a good win. We had a win today.

Good. Very good. Also, how is your favourite player not Fraser Gerrick? The G-Train? The G-Train's up there for sure. The G-Train has to be top five. I've eaten at his restaurant in Karen Downs a few times. What a claim to fame. He played for the Eagles and Sincilder. That's why I love Fraser Garrick.

You probably won't know much about that, but he's one of the... He's a fucking unit. He broke his hair. He broke his hand in the game and they had to give him injections to get it back on the field. Another player thought it would be funny to hit it. And there's footage, go home, check it out and he's puts his hand out like seven times

and lets a guy punch it. Just with no, it doesn't even squint. I was like, man, this guy is my new king. Imagine. His nickname was the carpet snake. And you were just reminding me that last night we made a deal we were going to get tattoos of snakes today. Well, Matt goes off.

They might not know you on the podcast. but can you come up with a quick story that sums you up? And I was like, yes, me and Matt were both got to get Pantera tattoos last night. I think when, like, if listeners know that you have a mullet, I think that just sums you up enough. And a fork list license and a truck license. Yeah, there we go.

Just in case you ever questioning it. Dave. All right, let's crack on with the show. Now, for people at home or people here, for instance, that may not be familiar with the show. Basically, what we do here is we are taking it in terms. to report on a topic, often suggested by a listener. The other two people don't know what it's going to be usually.

But today we're all going to do a mini report and an overarching theme. So we're all going to present a mini report on a topic now or Matt Jess and I are going to. And on this episode, we're going to be reporting on fucked up journeys. Fucked up journeys. Wild travel stories. Oh, okay. Because I thought it was like bad renditions of Don't Stop Believing.

I'll be doing that. well. But no, we were inspired by Nick Kappa's fucked journey to London. Oh, yeah. For the listeners of Do Go on, Nick Kappa got to London by a crazy way. Yeah. And so we thought, let's find some fucked journeys that people in the world have been on. That's right. All right, we always start with the question to get on topic. I'm going to do the first report tonight. And my question for you guys on stage is, in 1984, who

did Guinness World Records name as the world's greatest Living Explorer Well I was conceived in I mean I was born in 1985 so I'm assuming that I was conceived in 84 so I would say my dad

well I guess he found something didn't he? Wait is this actually a trivia thing I have to know stuff or not beyond this look at the fear in his eyes man I saw you reading and there was a question I was like

I'm fucking out dude I feel like Does anyone here know who this man is? Someone's got their hand up. So close to Ralph Fines. It is in fact his third cousin, Rannolf Fines. What? Seriously.

Ben, how did you know that? Yeah, he's a famous... He's from the UK. Everyone knows. Yeah, everyone knows that, right. Yeah, there's one village. London, all right. So Rennel Fines, he's the third cousin of

Rafe and Joseph Fines. Never sure if it's Rafe or Ralph. Rife. Rief. I think he's fucked that. Anyway, it's definitely written as Ralph. So, Renoff Fines, have you guys ever heard of this explorer?

Not me. No. No. Well, I'm going to tell you... If it's not Malcolm Douglas, I don't know. And he wasn't an explorer, and he said a real sick crocodile farm. Yeah.

Oh my God, there are two bad laughs on this podcast now. And we sat next to each other, too. You may know him as Sir Ranoff Fines, but his full name is... Sir Ranolph Twizzleton. No wonder is an explorer. He wanted to get away from school because he's being bullied. Oh, Twizzleton, yes?

I'm not even halfway. No one's ever conquered anything called Twizzleton. I'm not even halfway through his name. Oh, shit. Sir Ranulf, Twistleton, Wicam finds... Wicam? Wicam. Wycam.

Wynette. What? He definitely has. had Sherpers and paid him under minimum wage. Barronet, as opposed to a baron. So he's not quite a baron. He's a baronet.

Yeah. Like how Dave's credit card still says Master Warnocky. It does. Yeah, it does. I'm 28. Guys, it's 2019. He can be a master if he wants. I tried to get it changed twice

and they just sent me a new one and it just says, and I'm like, oh, fuck it. I like the idea of Master Blake though. Yeah, Master Blake's like when you're feeling lonely with a mullet, you just have a little bit of a master Blake. That's what I was going for, but no one picked up on it at the start. Anyway, yeah. He was born in 1944 in Windsor. His father, also a baron, was an army officer who died in World War II when Rannoff was just a one year old, was just a one year old, and he inherited the title of baronet from his father. So that's where it comes from.

What's his kid going to be a baronet net? Yeah, it just keeps going forever and ever and ever. His family moved to his grandmother's home in South Africa in early 1947. Then when he came back to England in 1954, he met his future wife, Ginny, when he was 12 years old and she was nine. Ew. They didn't get together straight away, guys. In his own words, she lived next door and she was nine, but I didn't take her out until she was 13, and her father definitely did not like me.

He went on to say, he really didn't speak to me until five years after I married her. He just didn't like somebody taking out his daughter at 13. Now, I therefore didn't really like him. But now that my daughter is nearly 13, I sort of fully understand his point of view. And if he was still alive, I would apologize. What a God. He went to the prestigious Eton College. Which I believe is where Prince Harry and William went.

But failed to apply himself and didn't get the marks he needed to get into the military. Royal Military Academy where he'd hoped to be trained to be an officer like his father. So he had to settle for a lesser military academy but eventually he was accepted into the SAS the elite special air service unit where he specialised in demolitions.

Oh yeah. Once again, Twizzle doing demolitions and the SAS. Who is this wild character? Let's get some shots going for him. Is he still alive? Maybe. Oh.

He's known for his pranks. Ranoff and another officer Procure... My real name isn't Twizzleton. It's just David. Even another friend procured a very lively squirming piglet covered it with tank grease

and slipped it into the crowded ballroom of the Army's staff college. Bit of fun. That's a good plotline for Babe 3. Pigging the Army. That's chasing that. I love that the SAS has a ballroom. Not very bad ass, but anyway, in 1966, when he was 22 years old,

he may have taken things too far, when the film Dr. Doolittle was being filmed in the small village of Castle Coombe, Wiltshire. The town was annoyed because 20th century Fox decided to build a dam for the film over a local stream. Locals found it unsightly, and being a man of action, Ranoff heard about this and decided to act. This is a quote from him. The locals weren't happy with the set, so I thought I'd get rid of it. In the middle of the night, he decided to use exceptional.

that he acquired from the SAS to blow up the dam. Back on board, baby. He recalled, I was on an explosive course in Hereford at the time. At the end of each day, I had quite a lot of explosives left over. Rather than just hand it back, I thought it would be rather nice to keep it. Unfortunately, Faranof, police discovered his plan and he was arrested before he could blow up the dam. If he'd been jailed, he would have been kicked out of the army for good, but the judge took a liking to him

and he was only fined £500 £500, despite the fact that he was planning an act of terrorism. Yeah, but he's a lyrican. He's wine and his name's Twizzle. He's getting away with crime. Trust me. Yeah, that's probably it. That is probably it. Hey Dave, this, was the topic

journeys? Yeah. Yeah, he's an explorer. This is the sickest journey I've ever heard. He's just a journey to be in a mad dog. It's not about... This story is not about the destination. It's about the explosives. Thank you. Thank you. He left behind his military life after this

and turned his attention to exploration. Ah! Or a journeyman. Wait one more sentence. I waited like many sentences to that point. To be fair, I had the same thought.

I had the same thought, but I was like, I trust Dave. Yeah, I don't. I mean, you're a Sinkheeler supporter. I thought you'd be used to waiting. Hold on the border right here. Thank you.

Dill moved to Australia and picked the premiership team and he's... No, I didn't. I'll fucking fight you. I don't care that... I mean, I've got a bit of bread blank in me right now. All right, he's gone exploring for some pinocolada while we're here. Yeah, thank you. Little drinks break there while you sort out the footy chat.

Couldn't give a fuck. And who's your team, Master Dave? The Western Bulldogs. Name a player Name a player Chris Grant Back in 1996 when I picked the team He was on top

Never been to a game Alright here we go In 1969 Things are getting interesting He led Yeah oh yeah Are you picking up what I'm putting down Fucking worst

During 69 Fucking dumb dumb club fans I love it He led his first expedition in 1969 He became the first person to go all the way up the 4,000 mile long Nile River. Oh. In a hovercraft.

Oh. What a record. Sure. You know, he did something, mate. That's the power of love. That's what I'm just picturing him going. Woo! He became the first person in 1982.

It took three years this next journey to go from pole to pole. He went all the way around the entire earth from North Pole, South Pole, and back up without flying at all. He was in boats and stuff. That took him three years and he travelled 52,000 miles, or 84,000 K. So he's used to being cold and suffering in the elements. He once removed his balaclava in the snow and found a one inch chunk of his frozen flesh stuck to the cloth. But don't worry, he treated the wound with the only thing he had on hand.

Hemeroid cream. And yourself. Good stuff. I use that for everything as well. Yeah. It's good with toast. No, no, no, hang on. Elaborate. I don't know why that's not true. I don't know why I said it. Have you ever had a hemroid?

There's a cream called anisole. Enosol, yeah. It's a good multi-purpose. It doesn't matter, but it's a good multipurpose cream. I reckon it would work on your face. I do like the idea that what's his name, Fines, had anosol or the hemorrhoid stuff ready to go. He's like, I've got a big journey ahead.

I'm probably going to squeeze other. some bad dookies and get a few blood blood bumps come out my butt hole. He's going pole to pole, you've got to be careful, baby. Yeah. All right, so he's had a lot of frostbite in his time, but probably his most famous story of frostbite

came in the year 2000, and at the age of 56, he attempted to walk solo and completely unsupported to the North Pole. Everything was going well until his sleds with all his stuff fell through weeks. ice. It was weighed down with 70 days worth of supplies and equipment, weighed 300 pounds more than he does. It slipped into the sea and became trapped under a slab of ice. He needed it to survive,

but to get it out, he had to remove his glove in the freezing minus 63 degrees Celsius temperatures and then plunge his hand into the water to pull it out. He instantly knew he was in trouble when he looked down and saw that his fingers were quote, ramrod stiff and ivory white, which sounds like the title of a really good porno. Was that part of his quote? Oh no. I thought he added a little bit of sizzle at the end of it. They call him twizzle, swizzle.

His fingers were badly frostbitten and he knew he had to turn back. He was airlifted to Canada where they tried to save his fingers, but the damage was too far gone. He described the first inch of each finger as being completely mummified. His fingers were assessed by medical experts who told him that they'd have to be amputated, but then he'd have to wait five months to allow the partially damaged tissue

halfway down his fingers to heal sufficiently to be made into finger ends. He's like, hang and don't worry, I've got some anosol here ready to go, let me try a bit of that. Some bearded idiot in Melbourne said it's fine

to use it for anything. Oh, hang on. Oh, sorry. Also... What was he talking about you? I wasn't listening, sorry. I felt like I was back at school again. I'm learning too much, but I really like this car.

He's got a hovercraft. That's sick. Maybe I should have gone to more classes, Dan. The surgery would also cost $6,000 and his travel insurance refused to pay. Imagine that. He seemed to think that that was a lot. He was too much money for an operation to save your fingers. For me, I would pay $6,000.

What year are we in, roughly? The year 2000. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, wow. Just pay them. He's six thousand pounds, mate. Come on. I don't like where this is going.

I would just pay. Not Sir Ranoff. Also, he's a sir, a baronet. He went to Eaton. He can afford 6,000 pounds, surely. I like him, though. He doesn't like to be, you know, like taking the piss out of, you know what I mean?

He's done his travel around the world. He's been to Tile. He's been to Koso mui. He's haggled from, you know, Amari to Ozo. He's done him all. Yeah, so he was fed up. He found the nerve endings were exposed and his fingers were in an intense pain when he touched something. And he wasn't the only one this was affecting.

Quote, my wife said I was getting irritable. So he decided we would try to cut them off with a blackened decker and a sore. Yes, King. Brent's back in. Also, it's like the most longest wind-up thing ever. You know, from his wife's dad now wins. Like, yeah, try and touch her now, you fuck. What's the first thing? A black what?

A black and decasaw, so it's just a brand of... It's pretty reliable. What do you recommend? I'd be more of a McKeda man, but that's his personal reference. Sure. But for your fingers, you would use Makita? I'd use Makita. Yeah, okay. So his wife said, you should chop your fingers off, and that's what they did.

He said she had often, she was a bit of a badass as well. She's got a polar medal herself. She's a farmer. He said she often had performed a similar operation on the hooves of her cattle. So they've got experience, guys. You've got experience. He decided he would do it himself though His wife brought him cups of tea as he soared

Can't you just put the cold fingers in the cup of tea And then warm it up Yeah Back to good If only they thought about that It wasn't quick either The thumb alone took two days That should have got a McKeda dude

Straight away bang What do you mean? What do you mean it took two days to cut off one thumb Yeah he said the bone It was really hard to get through Has he not seen 127 hours? Now I'm back back in. What type of sore is it a fucking drop saw? That does not take two days. That's straight down.

Was you got a hand saw? Yeah, but then the tea goes cold. You've got to put it back on the park. You've got to have a broad new batch. It's a whole process. Remember, he's not a surgeon, but his approach was, if it hurt or it started to bleed, he was slicing too low and would just adjust the sore so it would cut off only the dead bits. Ah, okay, right. I hate you. I think I speak for a lot of people right now Well we're nearly through it

Two weeks afterwards a plastic surgeon At a Bristol hospital tidied up his handiwork So now he wants to go see a doctor I think he was like Now you have to fucking act Because I just chopped off my fingers The wounds healed without incident And what did he do with these amputated fingers

He keeps them in a rodent proof box on his desk Oh yeah you know how rats love fingers I know He's still alive, age 75, and has done so many amazing things. Can't wait to high-fiving. Three and a half, yes. Only 15 years ago, he ran seven marathons on seven continents in seven days, just three months. Yep.

No, no, no, no, no. What? Seven marathons in seven days and seven continents? At 70. That's when he was 60. It was 60. That's still wild. And there was three months after suffering an almost fatal heart.

heart attack on an airliner and he went into a coma for three days. Oh my God. He's climbed Mount Everest, raised millions of pounds for charity, discovered a lost city an Oman. What the fuck? Seriously. And also written 25 books along the way. But in an interview with CQ magazine, Ranolf was asked, has there been any point in your

life where you've thought, this is the closest I've come to death? And I'm thinking, oh yeah, here we go. We'll get some epic story about the Nile or Everest or the Arctic. His response, yeah. on the M4 motorway. Falling asleep at the wheel and waking up, luckily just in time, but only just. That's Serenol Fides.

How you feeling that, Jess Perkins? Ah, that was fucked. That was... But it's only fingers, though. Oh, yeah, it's only fingers. Yeah, it's... I just didn't want to think about the bone. Anyway, well done, Dave.

Thank you. It was a good journey. Thanks, so. Amazing journey. It makes me want to read. I have that effect on people. Wow. Give it out one more time for Dave Warnock, everybody. Well done.

I'm going to go next. And my question, which I wrote, as you guys were walking in, it's a very easy question. So which French former Pimp turned deficiency consultant explored the Canadian wilderness in 1934? I mean. I mean, it's so obvious, I won't say. I won't say.

Monsieur Twizzleton? An equally, well, not an equally cool name, but still a pretty cool name. It's Charles Bedou. Oh, that's the thing you clean your ass with, isn't it? Close enough. Charles Pado. Helen Badeau sister. Do, it's a wrong, yeah, delete that.

Anyway, yeah. Charles Badoe was born in Paris in Anne. 1886. He dropped out of school at 16 years old. He worked a series of jobs before he befriended Henri Le Doe, who was a successful pimp in Paris. And he taught Badole lessons on proper dress, confidence and street fighting. All the things that good pimp needs to know. This podcast is fucking sick. Hoverboards and street fighting. I need to fucking start subscribing to Patreon. I am in.

Don't let him down. I was staring at the St. Kilda's supporter then. Don't let them down. So yeah, he's found this mentor who's teaching him how to dress and be all cool like. But then his mentor was murdered in 1906. Street fight? Classic. Well, suspiciously also in 1906,

Charles left France for America. You know what? Pimping ain't easy, man. Maybe you got too good at street-foting. Why did you leave Sri Lanka deal? Huh? Why did you leave Sri Lanka? Because my pimping business wasn't going well,

so I came here to become an accountant. And how did that go for you? Not good, I got five. And now here I am at the Closomey Podcast Festival, so it all worked out. But I do have some sex workers, if anyone wants to... Some from the old days. So Charles...

I'm just going to move on for you. He became a United States citizen. He got married. He had a son who was also named Charles. Come on. Yeah, it's a good name. There's so many names, though. You don't have to pick your own.

But then he gets the second, and you can see, or like, le d'Ure or whatever the fuck it is in French. Le d'Ure. And then he made his fortune. He was mega rich. He made his fortune as an efficiency consultant. Who knows what that is? Probably, Dill.

Yeah, I was going to say, I think I'm... I'll take this one. Ironically, the least efficient way to find out, but go. Yeah, Magh sings better. Anyway, there you go. I mean, he's not wrong, because Charles Bodeau came up with the Badoe's system of human power measurement,

which looks to minimize waste in the economy and society. So something like that. Anyway, yada, yada. It's still the street fighting pit. The street fighting pit. We have lost bread. Yeah, yeah. Where did this guy get boring?

Fuck! You know, you have Raiu, you have Blanca, and now you have this character. All right, sorry, I thought there'd be some street fighter video game fans here. Oh, hell yeah. It's just a shit joke then, turns out. There are fans, they're like, nah, not good enough. So it made him heaps of money.

It was like very, very wealthy. He started his own consultancy business, which actually took off all around the world. So he's a pretty savvy businessman, but he was not a savvy, traveller. In 1934, he formed an expedition to cross the wilderness of northern British

Columbia in Canada. He called it the Badoo Canadian Sub-Arctic Expedition. Catchy. Mostly, the expedition was a publicity stunt, but it was also formed to test out the new Citron half-track cars that were being developed by his good

friend, Andre. Some guy called Andre. Is he like the main Citron guy? Yeah. Andre Citron already. Yeah. awful car not a joke just a fact

well and this guy proved it he fiddled out his ex proved it proved it this can't get it

that'll be baffling to the listeners yeah no that's the best car yeah that's why they laughing at 69 because it's sick move on guys So yeah, they were kind of doing it just to like publicise this new car. These half-track cars, the military were using them,

where they're like front-wheel drive but the back is all fucked. It's hovercraft. Yeah. So anyway, so he has started his, he's fiddled out his expedition exactly like you would imagine an eccentric millionaire would. He gathered two limousines, five newly invented Citroen half-tracks, 130 horses. Oh, Matt?

That's a lot of horse. Did he build a barn? Was his friend holding it back? These horses were loaded with all the essentials that you'd need. Like... How did they load them? I hate myself. You know your inner monologue is sometimes outer, yeah?

Between hating Dave and you hating yourself. That's next. You rock up and they're like, oh, there's your horse. All your supplies are ready to go. You're like, oh, it doesn't even have a saddle. Oh, this horse has everything you need. Where's my sleeping bag? Oh.

No, these horses were carrying caviar and champagne. You know, important things to take on long expeditions. That's his old PIMS style coming back in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They also had an entire film crew because they were going to make a movie about it, they reckoned. They had a couple of scientific surveyors, whatever. He brought his wife, a butler, a valet, a maid in waiting,

and of course, his mistress as well. Whoa. Because that's what you want, the wife and the mistress. It's not surprising when you think of him in his pimping days. Odds are they wouldn't have bumped into each other. If you've got 160 horses, you know what I mean? Yeah. She's quite a well-away.

So the expedition started off at Edmonton, Alberta on the 6th of July, and their goal was to travel 1,500 miles or 2,400 Ks to telegraph quick in British Columbia. Much of the trip would have been made through regions that were relatively uncharted, no trails. And so to map the route of the expedition, the Canadian government sent along two geographers, Frank Swanel and Ernest LeMarc. So they've got a couple of government officials too, but really it's just like party central. In America he was doing it's the mark. The mark, but Le Mark.

Now, obviously, the day that you're going to take off on a big expedition, you want to start your day right. So, of course, they had a champagne breakfast. Hosted by Edmonton's Elise, there was a big expedition. a parade. It was a bit full on. And that was formally sent off by Alberta's Lieutenant Governor. They hadn't long been on their journey when it started to rain.

And this weather stayed with... Oh, fuck, the rain again. We've just dealt with the rain from the outsides. And they've ruined this podcast, and now they've ruined this guy's journey. Yeah, but like this rain stopped. There's didn't. For pretty much the whole time. Things went

to hell almost immediately on the champagne safari when the horses kept getting bogged down in the mud and the cars kept malfunctioning as well. What a surprise, Citrox, once again. He decided to dump the surveying equipment and all of the scientific parts. Yeah, kept the film crew, though. Yeah, oh, big time.

And the champagne, baby? Yeah, well, that's exactly it. He wanted to clear more space for more caviar and so that he could pack formal ballroom attire. Oh. How much caviar can you have, though, like in a given day. Do you, like, do you know what I mean? Well, I mean, when you get used to a certain

lifestyle. Yeah, it's true. Okay. Is it good for you? I don't know. It's fish eggs, right? That can't be good. Never try it. Let's ask the kitchen behind us. We are in a kitchen, so that's helpful. He also decided that the cars, the Citrians, were expendable and it would

get a bigger sensation if they were destroyed on film rather than simply making the trip intact. So he thought it would be better for his friend's brand if he destroyed his new product rather than just showing that it could do the thing it was supposed to do. I love that.

That's good marketing. That is good marketing. So what they did was they put two of the Citrions over a 91 metre cliff. Fuck, yes. So fun. They filmed it. And then the other one, they set afloat on the river

and then they were going to blow it up and film it. But the dynamite didn't quite work. It didn't blow up, so it just floated away. I can imagine them going, okay, guys, now here it is. Now it is. Nope, not yet. Come on, guys, don't go yet. Don't go yet. Fuck, it's floating. It's just gone.

It's 700 meters away. So any minute now, guys. And they're like, everyone turns away and suddenly it happens behind them. Oh, fuck, we missed it. They just destroyed three cars. What a piece of shit. Don't lend him anything. So what were the three techniques?

It was in the river? One was the... Two over the cliff. Two over the cliff. Two over the cliff. The film made Louise of the time. Yeah. And then one just floating down the river.

But to be fair, his plan actually did kind of work. And the Canadian and American newspapers carried the news that the three of the cars had been lost. And that some of the expedition members had barely escaped death in these terrible accidents. I'm just glad that he didn't think to get rid of the horses. Imagine the variety of ways. Let's push. some horses off a cliff. See what happens. Strap dynamite to that one.

Let's see what happens. Well done. That's what happens. It's fuck. The party was lauded for its bravery and determination to continue on despite these terrible setbacks, which they did. To themselves, anyway. By mid-September, they reckon they were just

over two weeks away from their destination. So they kind of made it. But Frank Swinell, one of the geographers that was sent with them, aka one of few who had any idea what they were doing, said that they shouldn't go any further because there was heavy snow sending in. But that was close enough. They were about 15 days away from where they were supposed to finish. And he counted that as a win.

He was like, we bloody did it. Yeah. You did it, but okay. We almost did it. He called it a win. They headed home. And after nearly four months in the wilderness, a party was thrown in honor of their near, achievement.

Yeah, he's a pim chalice half full kind of guy. Yeah, yeah. And the party turned out to be one of the biggest celebrations the town had ever thrown for people who didn't do the thing they were set out to do. It's kind of like when I attempt to do dry July. Start partying seven days in.

I'm like, yeah, baby, I made it. You got the king. And that's basically it about him. The only other thing to mention is that a little bit later on, he got really into Nazis. Anyway. Again, it's about the journey and not the destination.

What did you mean he got into Nazis? Oh no, he was just arrested for treason and killed himself. It's fine. Did he try to blow himself up, but he just floated away? And that's my report on Charles Bedone. Jess Perkins, yeah. Oh, Matt, it's time to bring us home. Yeah, great.

I've been holding on, just listening. That was thick with info. I feel like Brett's sort of come in and taken my character and done it better on this show. What do you mean character? I'm actually a real suave motherfucker normally. This is all a bit I'm doing. All right.

My question. I'll do my report. now. Yeah, great. Great. My question is, which Australian cricketer was nicknamed the keg on legs? Is it Booney? Booney, it is Booney. Oh, he's the 15-2 beers! Yeah! Yeah! Oh, fuck yeah! No one ever gets the question right. Well done. And I'm in Sri Lanka cricket fuck, I had an Australian one. I should have won that as well. So, how do you, so it's a story about drinking on a plane. What do you like with drinking on a plane? Uh, no, me just stick to soda water.

Never passed out on a plane and had my foot stuck out in the aisle with rigormortus. And then the drinks cart lady ran it over 17 times because they couldn't wake me up. You know what you'd get a saw and then just cut off two days at a time?

Yeah, I would have fucking done it properly though. None of that hack saw job. Two days. He's still on the plane. People have vacuum cleaning. He's like, I'm not done yet. So for internationals and others who aren't old enough to know Booney, I'll give you a quick bio and then I'll get into the story.

So his full name, David Clarence Boone. It's another beautiful name. That is a beautiful name. He was born on the 29th of December, 1960, to parents Clary and Leslie Boone in Launceston, Tasmania. He was identified as a talent at a young age and was playing first-class cricket for Tasmania when he was only 17 years old.

from there he went on to have an illustrious career in the Australian national team scoring 7,422 tests, runs. Yeah, I was going to say, Jesus. He really paused on the runs, and I was like, wow, is he still playing? He played every test ever. He scored 2,100s from 107 tests,

but I'm not here to talk about his on-field work, but rather his exploits in the air. I'm out, yeah, this is more the real man. I'm a bit of a poet. Um, wordsmith. Yep. Yeah. Thank you. An artist.

Yes. I thought you said bananas. Both are true. Yes. So you're telling us, David Boone's not secretly an explorer. No. But he does go on a journey. Wait, what was the topic?

It was... Journey. Yeah, this counts. It's about a flight. It's a flight. That's a journey. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Nobody said you're going to stop fighting you, boys. Come on. This is a fun podcast. Let each other finish.

I feel like I'm just trying to give it context here. Okay, great, yeah. No, I think you should fight, street fight, and I'll get bred to adjudicate. Yeah, a street fight like M. Bison. I got a reaction that time, all right. Are youkin? Is that anything? Did you say aryukin?

That sounds like a charity for mental health. Ayurukin? Hadukin, isn't it? Oh, maybe. Hadukin. Kids at primary school used to say that to each other, and I nodded alone. Ariukin to you too. Oregato.

So the record was, have I mentioned that's a record? So this flight he goes on was a world record flight. And it was from Sydney to London. The record was for most beers drunk on a flight. And it had been set in 1983

by Rod Marsh at 45 cans of BB. And then on the 30th of 8th, April, 1989, six years later, just passed the 30th anniversary of this big occasion in Australian history. On a Qantas flight via Singapore, the Kegon

Legs set out to break this record. Boone himself doesn't like talking about the events. He didn't mention it at all in his biography. Because he couldn't fucking remember it. Yeah, I had like three and then it was a bit hazy. But yeah, see.

But if anyone ever asked him about, he's really short in reply. In 2006, he said, if people haven't got something else to talk about, they have led a fucking boring life. He always tries to shut down the conversation. Yet here we are. Yeah, yeah. The only thing worth mentioning of his career. Luckily for us, his Australian teammates love talking about it. They must have led boring fucking lives.

Genuinely, they would have, I suppose. Cricketers. Do we have some stats as to... how long the flight from was it Sydney to Singapore and then Singapore to London? Yes. So what's the total hours in the air?

It's about about 24 just short of. Right, including the stopover in Singapore? No, he's only in the air cans counted. He had a few drinks before getting on the plane. You need to hydrate before. Yeah. But I'd question the legitimately of this record or legitimacy of this record

because if you are not in first class, There's no way you can get that many fucking cancerment. I've tried. Trust me. They cut you off, they slow you down. He's an elite sportsman in the air. So I'm pretty sure he would have been up in business. I'm saying to the record, a normal person, i.e. me, could not attempt that record.

A pop kunt. Yes, pop kunt. Like, you know what I mean? It's like, how is that a record? Right. Now I'm passionate. It's not funny. I'm just annoyed that they won't let me do it.

We should set this up. Oh, maybe. I, well, do you, before you can, sorry, Matt, how many do you reckon you could smash in a row on a journey? What was his? 52 cans. Well, I mean, we're skipping ahead here, deal, to be honest. There's a drive, oh.

But, oh, allegedly. Oh, sorry, I said it at the top as well. Yeah, and I've moved on, but you've really started off. Sorry, it is such a, like, for me, call me on Australian. The opposite, sorry, call me Australian, because I'm like, everyone knows that stat, surely, right? No?

Okay, fuck. Dave, you would have been well aware of Boone's work. Oh, absolutely. It's part of our national anthem, I believe. Maybe this is it, because it was one of the questions on the citizenship test when I got the... Roshaniland. So, yeah, his teammates love talking about, still do. So most of the stories have been written down.

Paceballer Carl Rackerman remembers that the... Rackman? Rackman? Is it not Rackerman? No, no, I think so... That sounded wrong. And then now I doubt myself. And also, Brett Blake...

You said Rack? And he got fired up. Raqum. Carl Rackerman remembers that the 89-2 was the first time the Australians toured overseas in business class. Ah. Yeah. That's the cut of the air. Triple M's Nick Cody is excited about that.

There was upstairs and downstairs on the jumbo. He was in his night gown. Downstairs was the team management. Alan Borda, the captain. Jeff Marsh, the vice captain. Bob Simpson, the coach, and Laurie Saul, who was the chairman of selectors. Upstairs was Boone, getting stuck into the tins. And according to Rackerman, there were about six teammates who lined up to be his pacemakers on a roster system to keep him going.

Now that's the Australian spirit. I love that's mateship. Oh yeah. That right there. That's mateship. Put in an IV bag and get it down, cun. The separation between Boone and team management was important as the captain and coach frowned upon over-indulgence. He was already the fattest bloke ever to play sport.

No, no, we had our Juno Rana Tunga. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah, that's you can't have a runner just because you're a fat cunt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You know something about sport? Cricket's all right. You said you played cricket in school. Oh, okay.

I told Dill this the story the other day. I was selected for my year eight high school cricket team. And how many players do they normally select? So usually there's 11 on the field and then there's the 12th man who subs in as the fielder. They created the position of 13th man because they felt sorry for me. To be fair, they needed to say 12 and a halfth man.

I basically just gave the other guy's waters all day. Would you've been able to hold the bat? Well, they put me into bat. They put me into bat once. I made two runs almost accidentally because I just swung and I just hit and then the next ball I was clean bowed

and I was the only one of the team who didn't play weekend cricket so I didn't have a box and nor did you need one I was terrified I just got the thigh pad and I was just wearing it like a... Wait, you played without the box yeah what?

Yeah you are a daredevil my friend thank you wow right Jesus And as I said the other night, now I'm horribly infertile, so it did not work out well. Sorry, please do go on. He said the name of the podcast.

Can you believe it? We need to go back to the future. Fast bowler Jeff Lawson kept score on the back of a sick bag. And like Dill, he's a teetotler, so we know the numbers are reliable. It was a slow and steady start with Boone accompanied by Murf Hughes and Mark Tubble. Taylor. Talking about being a fat guy. The whole team was a fat guy, but... Except Dennis Lilly, he's hot. Yeah. Sorry. I'm just reliving the good old and classic Aussie cricket days. Victorian batsman Dean Jones soon joined and the pace lifted.

Jones drank cans with Boone for a long stint. Apparently going can for can for about 20 odd cans before passing out. Wow. And he yeah, he slept up. at the feet of the coach, I think. I don't know what the coaches were thinking at that point, but Booney forged on, and with strong moral support from teammates like Hughes, Rackam, Tom Moody, and Vice Captain and good mate, Jeff Marsh.

Boone passed the record. All right, that doesn't make sense, but that's okay. Look at me, figure it, Boone passed the record with time to spare. That, mate? Yep. But he didn't stop there and drank all the way till the plane touchdown at Heathrow and the count you might be surprised to find out.

On the back of Jeff Lawson's sick bag was 52. Yes, that's a real. Fuck yes. Or about 19 and a half litres. Fuck, that is wild. How many liters? 19 and a half. What's the most you've ever drank in a day, beers? Look, I'm not in a toxic masculinity sort of one-upment.

It's not a pissing contest, mate. There was a trip from... Because you're a big beer drinker. Yeah, no, I'd never have 52. I promise you that. Back in my drinking days, there was a trip that my mates and I did from Melbourne to Wilson's prom, which I believe is a four-hour trip. And there was a challenge set to see how many beers I could have in that trip. No one asked me to do it, I just thought I'll have a crack.

And I got through 18 cans of VB and won Yeagerbomb. And thank you. Yep, I have a drinking problem. And I fell out of the car and I cracked my ribs and I couldn't. I had to, so for the four-day trip, I had to spend the night in the car upright, sleeping because I couldn't lie down. Because if I lay down, my ribs would hurt. Yeah, drinking is cool.

I've been saying it all along, dudes, yes. Yeah, I get it. By the way, can I break the fourth wall a bit? Those two girls were not part of the podcast festival, were they? No, right. There were two random, just random girls who decided to like, sneak in and... Yeah, someone told me that they're...

No, I said random, not... They were Russian... Someone told me that their English was not amazing, is that right? Yeah. It was... Now good is that. They've just gone, David Boone. I've got to take this information back to Moscow.

That is... They're about to go on a very interesting journey themselves. I can't believe they put up with three reports. Three. They're like, we know this story even. This has reached Russia. They were so close to the end of the destination, a lot like whatever that Jess said about her journey person.

Anyway, I don't remember the name. I didn't pay attention. The joke still works. Fuck off, cunts. I like journey person instead of explorer. I think that should take off. Journey person's cute. Badoo, Badoo, that was the guy.

Badoo, yes. According to future captain Steve War, not all the sick bags fared so well, saying the very instant we pulled up at our allotted gate, Back up wicketkeeper Tim Zora, lurched forward and filled up his sick bag to christen the tour. That's beautiful. That's not nice. Yeah.

According to Rackerman, as they were coming into London, the pilot gave his normal welcome to Heathrow announcement. And then he says, good luck to the Australian cricket team, who were already off to a good start. And congratulations to David Boone for breaking the Australia to England beer drinking record. The passengers applauded, much like that. But also, the coach heard. announcement. So the jig was up. Boone was fined

$5,000, which was a lot of money in 89, and put on probation. Oh, Captain Killjoy. Apparently he didn't show any great signs of intoxication until he tried to get up and walk. Wait, so how was he...

I mean, he must have broken the seal at some time. How was he weeing that entire time if he wasn't walking? That's what the teammates were helping him with it, because. That's when the 12th man really comes in. It's a water break and he just shows up with all the bottles. Steve Orr said,

Jeff Marsh realized his great mate's predicament and grabbed his arm and weekend at Bernie Stoll escorted him through customs and into our bus to begin a recuperation that included a couple of days' sleep. Apparently slept for 36 hours and missed two training sessions. The coach wanted to keep the story from the media, but soon after landing, Murfews was

was straight in on a phone interview with Australian radio, excitedly recounting what had just occurred, saying, the big news is that Boone he cracked the first 50 of the tour. It's a great gag. When the coach heard the interview, Hughes remembers that he got in more trouble than Boone. Said he was shitting himself that he was going to be sent home, but he wasn't. And the heavy drinking didn't seem to affect the Australian team on the field

as they won the series 4-0, with Boone scoring 4-4-0. with Boone scoring 442 runs at an average of 55.25. So it has sick tour. If he really wanted to make it poetic, he should have got an average of 52. The same year, Boone was awarded an MBA or member of the British Empire

in recognition of his sporting achievements, apparently, but... We all know. The Queen, oh yeah. Finally, I feel like Brett might appreciate this. finally when Ian Chappell, who was an Australian cricket who retired about 10 years before this game,

heard the story of Boone's flight. He was unimpressed. Having retired 10 years prior, Chappell commented, what is the world going to think? That Australia has become a namby-pamby nation which doesn't know how to drink. For God's sake, in my day, 58 beers between Sydney and London

would virtually have classified he was a teetotaler. I'm surprised Ian Chappell said that he's usually the grumpy street shooter. Not an 89. Yeah. He was a French pimp back then. That almost makes sense as a callback. Anyway, that's the end of the report.

Let's get on Matt Stewart and David, boom. What a journey. Great stuff, Matt. Great, great, great stuff. So that does pretty much bring us to the end of the episode. Thank you so much for coming out, giving us. Thank you. Your lovely applause, thank you.

It has been. to be welcomed in by the dumb dumb people. I know you're not used to people being nice, but it has been very nice. It's been so cool to be involved. Thanks so much for having it. Yeah, thank you. And thank you guys for having me and Brady on for this podcast.

It's been really, really fun. I'm glad we got to introduce Brett to learning. It can be fun. I have a funny feeling I might forget it all. Brett and Dill, you both have your own podcast. Yes, I have a podcast called FitBet podcast, which is, any listeners? Yay!

So do go on listeners, if you can hear that cheer that is not manufactured. It's a podcast for me and my friend who were both, we both 120 kilos each and we had a bet to lose, get under 100 kilos for $1,000. And it originally just covers our journey of losing the weight.

And then it's now got a whole bunch of great, amazing guests, including cricketer Andrew Freddie Flintoff was one of the guests we had. It was really exciting. So yeah, please check that out. Awesome. And Brady Blake, you've got your pod too?

Yeah, it's called Worst First, dates. Yeah, you're going on shit dates, talking about shit stuff and, man, I'm the worst for plug and stuff. It's a very great podcast. You recently had Judith Lucion. You've had... Yeah, Judith Lucion there.

Talking about, yeah, dating and like everything that's fucked in your life. It's a good fun. It's a good podcast. Very popular, very fun. Bloody, good stuff. So check those out. And so let's give Brett and Dill a massive round of applause. Thanks so much for coming on, guys. And before we go, one final night, we'd just like to say a massive round of applause

and a big thank you to Carl Chandler and Tommy Desolow from the Little Dunnum Club for inviting us here and organizing what is an insane festival. What a crazy idea, but they've really pulled it off three years in a row and it was an absolute pleasure to be a part of it. So we really do appreciate them having us and you guys coming out and as Matt said, just being such awesome people. So thank you so much. Appreciate that. That's the end of our episode. Until next week, I guess we'll say thanks for having us and goodbye.

Later. Say cop and calm. And we're back in the studio for another outro to another episode of Duke gone. So nice to be back here in the freezing cold of Melbourne. Yeah. Australia. Well, my sunburn is still reminding me of the fun that we had. Oh, yeah, you two got a little burn.

I did not. You did not slander my good name. No, he didn't actually. He spent so much time in the pool, I assumed. The sunscreen eye blight. I reckon I was the only one apart from you, Matt, because you weren't in the pool as much. on the whole trip really of the comedians there who didn't get burnt.

That's probably fair, yeah. Kappa and Blake, Brett Blake, who we just heard on the episode there, absolutely. Red as a lot. Oh, so huge. The clock is ticking. Melanoma clock is counting down on Brett Blake's face. Top of my feet? Because it's areas that don't see a lot of sun.

The areas, like my arms and stuff were fine. Right. It was top of my feet and my boobs because I was topless sun baby. I wasn't at all. I was wearing bathers. I went with... I'm like, I don't remember that. It feels like someone would have mentioned that.

My secret is I went with three bottles of sunscreen and I came back with one. You put on that much sunscreen. Yeah. But I did get out of the pool and put on more sunscreen. Obviously, I just, I'd left it too late in that between, the gap between the first application of sunscreen and getting out of the pool. Oh, we're having decoraries. It was a nice day.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm just saying I'm fondly remembering that trip. It was a real... I really remember it really fondly as well. I think I went in with no expectations. Yeah. But I just had a really lovely time. And the audience was so nice.

Yeah. Great bunch of comedians. We had a great time. Yeah, met a bunch of do go on us for the first time, which was cool. Yeah, very cool. From all over the world, which is really nice. Mainly Australia, but there were Americans there. Met an Ohioan.

Yes. Who had been listening to the show, but had no idea who I was. Someone, I was talking to her. She was lovely. And I had like no worries that you don't know who I'm. I wasn't at all. But she, someone else came up to me and goes, holy shit, it's him or something like that.

And she went, wait, who are you? I said, oh, I'm doing the other podcast. I'm not on the Dumb Dumb Club. I'm on the other podcasts. Do you go on. I'm one of the hosts on that. She's like, oh, I'll listen to that. Which one are you?

I'm Jess. That's great. She was really funny. That is fantastic. And she's from Ohio. Yeah. Cleveland specifically. So, you know, she's a good egg. It was so cool to meet an Ohioan.

Oh, we love that. Yeah, yeah. Met some cool Californians as well. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Yeah, we hope you enjoyed the show. Fantastic to hanging with everyone there. We've got to do a shout-out to Stephen Edmonds who actually suggested journeys. Oh, yes.

And we were there with him in Thailand. Yeah. And I even told him before the show, he told me, oh, I'm the one who suggested that. And I said, mate, we'll hook you up with a sweet shout-out. But then in the chaos of doing the live show and moving venues, I totally forgot. I'm really sorry. And it was cool to hang out with you. He's a lovely man.

He's a guy I've spoken to on Twitter a bunch, but only after one of our Melbourne live shows that I realize who he was. Because he's avatar on Twitter. It's Lego. Yeah. And he kept posting photos of us from the audience. Because he takes good photos. And I'd slowly figure it out based on the position. And then it was after the last episode, I'm like, it's you, the Lego man.

Or, no, maybe, yeah, he came and maybe even broke it to me because I tweeted and I'm like, I'm going to figure out who you are. Who are you? I'm going to find you. Thanks for these photos, man. And he was like, ah, funny and whimsical. You're like, I will find you. So yeah, thank you, Stephen.

Yeah, appreciate that. Great. And I'm just trying to find the other live episode we did was also a Patreon suggestion. Yes. That's right, yeah. And I, I'm just going to scroll back to find it. Maybe you start talking. Okay, fantastic.

Well, Matt, why Matt is... Do da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. So pitchy. This is talking to you. Yeah, that's how I talk. Well, I'll talk and say, thanks for everyone who's already listened this far into the show. And thanks to everyone that supports the show on Patreon. We're heading into our Patreon section of the show where we dedicate a few shout-outs

and things to our Patreon supporters. And if you want to be one of those, you can go to patreon.com slash do go on pod. And in exchange for your support, your pledges, you can get two bonus episodes a month that no one else hears at a certain level. We'll give you a shout-out. We've got a Facebook group that Matt is scrolling through right now. And it's so active that is taking him ages to go.

That's how many posts people put in there. It's a very fun group. Yeah, it's great. And we'll give you a shout-out, which we're going to get to in a minute. And we've also got a fact, quote, or question section of the podcast. Oh, that's right. I think you mean fact quote or question. All right, I'm going to have to keep scrolling in a second.

First, let's do the fact quote or question. This week's fact quote or questioner is Jacob Lane. So the fact quote or question segment is if you support us on Patreon at patreon. Patreon.com slash do go on pod and support us on the Sydney-Schenberg Memorial level. Rest in peace. You get to give us a fact, a quote or a question. and each week we read one of them out. And you also get to give yourself a title.

So Jacob Lane, thanks so much for supporting us and writing in with a fact this week. Oh, thank you, Jacob. He's given himself the title of the official Simpsons reference auditor of the podcast. Oh, fantastic. So hopefully everything's been above board so far. Have we done any this week? I can't remember.

I don't know. I was in Thailand two weeks ago. Yeah, hard to know. But his fact is this. And I'm always reading it out for the first time. If it sounds like I'm fumbling, I'm, you know, I can read, just not that well. His fact is, did you know that Elmo, the Muppet slash Puppet, is the only non-human to testify before the US Congress advocating funding for music education programs? What?

I did not know that. That is cool. That's a great fact. That is a very fun fact. Thank you so much, Jacob Lane. Do you reckon he sang it? I hope so. I hope he was tickled as he said it.

We should have more musical education. And here are the facts. He's a whole bunch of stats. That's a great fact, Jacob Blaine. Thank you, Jacob Blaine. And to you, I say, a purple monkey dishwasher. And please, do keep us updated on how the Simpsons references are going. And if everything has been above board, which I really do hope it has.

But then the other part of the Patreon section of the show, we like to thank a few other patrons. So I think from maybe is it the BJ Cooper or some level lower than that? It's not BJ, is it? D.B. Cooper. BJ, I think of something else. Good mate of mine. And good cover.

Billy Joel. Billy Joel. Your good friend. Billy Joel Cooper. Let's go, Billy Joe. But we also thank a few patrons. And Jess somebody comes up with a little game based on the episode. Which was journeys just then.

Yeah, one of the journeys back. So how many, how many, and I know people listening just heard this, but how many beers did Booney drink? 52, if you listen to Dill. Spoil it early in the report. Twice. He came up to me and apologised off and I said, mate, honestly, not a problem at all.

That's Matt trying to milk a little bit of it. Yeah, that was just a little bit of fun. It's really fine. Brett also came up and apologize because I said at some point I'm like, oh, Brett's just doing my character only better, which is just me trying to make a joke of the fact that he's sort of like a bit of a dopey Bogan who, um. Is that how you see yourself?

Isn't that who I am? No. What am I? You are the backbone of this podcast. What? Are you saying dopey Bogan's kind of back on the back on. I think you're more of a dumb shit loser. And that's how we keep you grounded.

That's a lot harsher. Don't be bog and it almost feels like it's a term of vitamin. Dave and I kind of like an alley hoop. Like I really raise you up. I pick you up, oh, oh, oh, and Dave just slams you right down. I will slam you through that hoop and break your ego. Oh, I think I finally found this part of the Facebook group. So yes, Stephen Edmonds can confirm.

He suggested the stories of crazy journeys. He was not lying to me next to me next to you. the pool. And also the dumb death's suggestion was from Bronn Livesy. Oh, Bron, well done. Great work, Bron. Sorry, I didn't shout out to you. Okay, so for today, what if we did something like on a flight, what would they consume 52 of? Right, so instead of beers. Or not instead of beers. Yeah, it could be beers. Oh, just as type of beer. He drank VBs. Maybe it's a different kind of beer. Maybe it's more of a craft beer. Maybe it's a European beer. We're normally inspired by their name as well. Is that? That's not always, but...

Not always, but it might come about this time. Can I kick it off? Please. I'd love to thank Dave, is VA Virginia? Yeah. I'd love to thank from Ashland, Virginia in America, the United States, Dave Bedard or Bedard. Dave, Bedard. Hoisted on his own Bedard. Still don't know what a petard is. Is anyone new? No idea. I don't know what you're referencing. Oh, it's a phrase hoisted by her own petard.

I don't think it is. Or was it from old country? Yes, it's definitely an old saying. One of the words isn't even a real word anymore. All right. All right, what could Dave have consumed 52 of? 52 lobster dishes. Lobster dishes.

So they're all different. Oh. But lobster is a key ingredient or 52. Can you think of 52? Can you think of like three? Three ways you could serve. Lobster brisk. Raw.

Oh dear, that's a bad idea. Don't go to raw prawn with me. She's another saying. Oh my God. Stop saying all these olden days. Fried lobster. Fried lobster. That's three.

Do you eat lobster? No. I've never ate lobster. It's one of the things I missed in my meat days. I've never ate lobster. I never ate lobster. Don't you question me. Luckily, this hasn't been recorded.

ordered. Lobster dishes. I get the feeling that in Virginia they only travel in first class. Yeah, fair enough. Lobsters all they ate. So Dave has consumed 52 different lobster dishes on a flight. Amazing. And also I've just quickly looked it up.

This is from trusty website Wikipedia. Shakespeare's phrase, your book nerd. Oh, here we go. Hoist with his own partard is an idiom that means to be harmed by one's own plan. Okay. Or to harm someone else. Why can't we just move on? Why do you have to derail by Googling all the time?

Why can't we just live in the moment? Because, well, you're saying, it's an old and day phrase. And then you've gone, uh-huh, it's Shakespeare. The most modern of all the poets. Yeah, so I mean, you just playing into out there. Dave was making me feel like an idiot like it wasn't a real thing. And he's a big Shakespeare boy. Does it say what Shakespeare is wrong?

Yeah, the one of the plays. The play that he did. The play, Dave. Not the screenplay like so many of his other work. Anyway, thank you to Dave. And I hope you enjoyed your 52 Dishes of Lobster. I reckon you... I heard of that?

One of the big ones. Yeah, I've even done it on bookcheet. Fuck. Anyway, check it out. Mesa, Joel just running that one. Yeah, 52 Lobster Dishes. I wish you luck. That's even harder than a beer, I reckon.

Yeah, definitely. You are definitely spewing. Yeah, you're dead. But anyway, thank you. Actually, like, to be honest, most people eating 52 of anything will probably spew. Yeah, definitely. Unless it was from Richmond in Victoria, Billy Amat Nix, Bile Amat Nix, Billy Amat Nix. I'm going to say that's still Billy.

Billy Amit Nix. Yeah. Because Billy will not spew because they're going to eat 52 M&Ms. Oh. Oh, well played. That's probably a pretty good portion size. For a long flight. Two an hour for 26 hours.

Yeah. You just went by like weeks, didn't you? Like weeks of the year? No, I just divided by two because I like maths. Fucking nerd. For an hour for 13 hours. Fuck off, nerd. Eight every six and a half hours.

Oh, you suck. Richmond, Victoria, which is where the MCG is the home of Aussie rules football. Yeah, just down the road from me. Now, Eminem's Peanut. plain, crispy or some other. I am crispy all the way. I'm a crispy fan as well, but I think... Because it's rarer? Is it because it's rare?

You don't get them as much? There is something. There's something about that texture as well. Krispy's good. P Peanut butter, M&M's. Oh, I'm here for that 100%. They're very difficult to get in Australia. Yeah, they are. You can find them. There's actually a little convenience store on Swanson Street that has them. In Richmond?

Often. It's not Swan. Swamston. Oh, okay. Sorry. So sometimes when I'm walking home, especially late at night, I'm heading for the train station. I'm heading for the tram. I walk past that place. I'm like, well, I got a little snack. Get a little snack for the tram. So you get peanut butter, Eminems.

I can love them. They're a little bit salty. Billy, if you could let us know, what's your M&M of choice? What's your flavour? Tell me what's your flavour. Thank you. May I also thank some people, please? Please.

Two, if you will. All right. I'd like to thank from Vancouver in Canada. Whoa. I'd like to thank Rory Coomy. I love the name Rory. Rory's great. Rory's so good.

Kumi's amazing. Okay. Rory. What does Rory strike you as having a bit of a taste for? Energy drinks. Oh, 52 energy drinks. Okay, so Rory's dead as well. You're starting Rory's death.

I keep killing the people I'm giving food. Rory's heart gives up about halfway through that. At a point, your heart stops and then you keep drinking and it starts again, surely. I ever told you when I first went to, no, second time I went to London. London. I was there. Oh, we've heard this. Sorry. I don't know it's been on the show, but the worst hangover you've ever had. Yeah. I think it was the second day I was there. Maybe it's the first day. Yeah. And we went out and we went to this shitty pub club and just, you know, when you're in that mood, it's like, wow, we're in this other place. I've got a two month holiday coming up.

Let's see what happens. And I went up and I said, let's start this night off with the bang. and I was there with my man and I said, two vodka red bulls. And the bartender goes, double vodka red bulls are cheaper. How is that possible? And I said,

okay, make it four double vodka red bulls. Oh my God. And then by the time I'd finish those. It'd gone from two to eight shots suddenly. Yeah, it didn't make any sense. And I didn't even consider that. So that's all I drank for the rest of the night. Rounds of four double vodka red bulls.

And we were there for hours. So I, had both, I would have had vodka, alcohol, sugar and caffeine overdoses probably that night. And I've never felt so ill. I cried in the cab on the way home. On the way, you're already feeling ill at the end of the night. Well, we could not find the accommodation. My mate fell asleep.

And we were driving around in circles. Because they're addresses in, I said that weird, there are addresses. I'll say that weird again. They're addresses. Yeah, you were right the first time. Their address is a weird in London. They're real long and specific, but I was missing a key bit of information, so it meant that it could have been in multiple places.

And why were you crying? Because I was off my chops. But also, hadn't you only just got there? Yeah. So you jetlagged a shit as well. And just delirious and confused and like, this is a nightmare. And I just broke down and broke me in half.

It's very funny. And yeah, the next day I was on. I remember being on a bus, and I went up to the driver. I'm like, you go let me off. I'm going to spew. And he goes, he just pointed at the ground at my feet. He said, go on then. What a strange thing to do.

Did you oblige? I'm like, something about that pressure meant that I'd no longer needed to spew. I got off at the next stop and spewed in a bin. But anyway, why don't I decided to... Why were you on a bus? Why don't you stay in bed? We're going to try and go see a movie, just trying to feel a bit better. And how long before you drank alcohol again after that?

Well, I reckon it was later that I tried soon after because I was young and dumb. I didn't realize my body just needed a long break. So I tried and it was just like razor blades for ages. And it wasn't until I was on a ship on the way to the Greek islands. Fuck that. I was on the way to Athens maybe. And I had a beer and like, ooh, this tastes good. Beer, eh?

And for some reason the day before, Razorblades, but that day going on the Greek arms and... Okay. It was fine. So we got the sea air. Wait, what was the question? What was I answering there? No, I was just talking about Rory.

Could you drink 52 energy drinks like Rory did? I wonder how many I had that night. I reckon I would have had less than 52, but I would have had 20 or something, like a stupid amount. Yeah, that's too much. Or that, they're probably only half cans each time, so maybe... Maybe 10 or whatever. You reckon you had 20 double shots of vodka?

I think so, yes. Close to two bottles. That can't be right. I don't know. Like, honestly, my memory of a lot of that night is sketchy. And that's not only because it was 100 years ago. But anyway, thank you to Rory and sorry for killing you. And sorry for that anecdote, Rory.

I'd also like to thank, if I may, from New York. Ah, the city that never sleeps, the state that never sleeps. The States of America. I'd like to thank Kaylee Mayer Maha Mr. Maha. Maha.

I reckon it's Maya. How do you reckon that is? I want it to be Maha. Maha. Like they've just had an idea. Maha. I've got it. Yeah.

Knowing me, knowing you. Maha. Great reference. Oh my God. It's such a good. I don't think I've ever been as proud of you. Thank you. Mahha.

Now, what's Kaylee consuming? Kali. 52. Krispy Kreme donut. Whoa! Yeah, that's good. You just see them on the planes or used to because you couldn't get it in certain states of Australia.

So some people would buy six on the way home. Oh, they'd buy like two. Like Melbourne to Tazzy. They'd buy 50 of them. They'd buy like the big boxes and buy a couple of them and take them home to their friends. It's like a very average donut. And how ridiculous it is that you can get them in literally every 7-Eleven. They have a deal now where you can get them.

So they're everywhere. But people used to bring them on the plane. And Kaylee couldn't wait. Yeah. Kaly had them all. 52. And then Kaylee's family were like, did you bring those donuts? He said, oh no.

I've got donut packets. Yeah. I've got you all that donut packet. They were all out of donuts, but I have the box that they came in. Which is kind of what you all wanted anyway, right? It's really what traveling is all about seeing packaging. I think we can all agree. Thank you to Kaylee.

Kala is a great name. Mahah. Actually, this has been another list of sick names. It always is. Well, let me take it home. two more sick names. I would like to thank from Manchester in the greatest of Britain. Ian White's Head. Sorry, Whitehead. I don't know why I had an S in there, Ian. Ian Whitehead. To me, that is a super British name. Ian Whitehead. Hello, I'm Ian. Hello, I'm Ian. Hello, I'm Ian. And I've eaten 52 of

Som... Som... Swimwiches. Sandwiches? No. Somwidgees. From the som. Right. Because sandwiches were by Emerald, the Earl of Sandwich or something. The Emerald, yes. These were, which is his nickname, the Earl of Sandwich is nicknamed, the Emerald. The Emerald Earl of Sandwich, yes. Whereas the Somwich was...

In the Som. In the Battle of the Som. And it came at the same time, actually. And tell me what's in a somwich? Blood and guts. Oh, God. Wow. Ian, no.

From the battlefield, yeah. 52. That sounds awful. All right. What's a Manchester accent, Dave? We just did basic English accent. It's Manchester. It's, uh, there's some, there's some.

Oh, where is it? I don't know. That's not, is it? No. That's more, that's still London. Um, who's a, who's a, who's Menke? No.

Oh, the Gallagos. All right. I just hit my head on the wall behind. I'm going to be laughing at that. All right. All right. My brother's a dog. Fuck me, brother.

Yeah, I'm the better brother. Sorry, which one are you? Oh, no. No. The songwriter. Where's Adele from? Adele, no one knows their last name. Adkins.

We'll never know. Ah. I'll never know. A.M. Whitehead. Great name. Adele's Tottenham And I'm Adele That's Tottenham

Tottenham's in London right Yes Anyway Thanks to Ian Whitehead I am sure you have a brother That you're better than as well What did Ian have 52 of sandwiches

Oh my God sorry about that It was on you Sorry everybody And finally I'd like to take us home With a shout out Clear on my throat Because I want to get this right A big thank you

From Vancouver also In Canada This name is Haraj Fernando Oh my god Herodz Fernando

That just made me feel a little weak in the stomach That is good stuff Knees Week in the knees Are you having flashbacks about those red bull cans Yeah Haroges Fernando

What did they eat? 52 pieces of brie Oh On crackers Yeah All on crackers Just eating wheels I reckon, 52, I reckon the first 10 are fantastic.

After that, you're like, oh. 10 wheels of. No, pieces. Oh, okay. Any quince paste? Yeah. I only very recently got onto quince paste. I'm a big fat.

I love it. It's so young. You can't have too much. Others overpowers the cheese. A little bit. A little bit of cheese. A little bit of cheese. Do you go biscuit quince cheese or biscuit cheese quince?

It's too sweet for me. Yeah. As you get older. Yeah. We've discussed this. Yeah. You need them all bitter and full. I like olives and.

Yeah. I love them all, anything that you can eat with a toothpick. And I'm a hard cheese man, if anything. I do like a brie, though. I'm a cheddar head. Yeah, I love a bit of cheddar head. Yeah, I'm a blue. I'm a brie.

But a soft or a hard blue boy. I'm a cam and bear. I prefer a soft blue. I'm a hard blue, if anything. Oh, okay. I prefer. I tried blue because you liked it so much. It's fantastic.

I hated it, but I tried it. Yeah. That was a big step for me. Yeah. Well done. Thank you so much. Love it so much. Thank you so much.

And thank you to all of the people we've mentioned there today. Yeah, Haraj. Haraj. Eyn, Kaylee, Rory, Billy, Dave. It's always like we're reading from the same list. We appreciate you so much. And if you want to be one of those wonderful people who also gets shoutouts and contributes to the show,

you can go to patreon.com forward slash do go on pod. And you get things like bonus episodes. And recently we just put up a whole, like a full, normal full episode length report about the nanny. We spoke about the nanny for over an hour. And it was a great report, Matt, because we could feel the passion. Oh, so much fun. I loved it.

I think the nanny, the TV show, if that didn't make sense. Yeah. No, it was super nanny. Matt's nanny growing up. Not the woman that Arnold Schwarzenegger had an affair with. Was that him? The nanny. He did have an affair with the nanny.

You can find us on all social medios at DoGoOnPod. You can email us at Do GoOnpod.com. And everything else will be on our website. Do go onpod.com. Come see us in Brisbane. Please. If you want to, yeah, follow us on all those social medias for more info and stuff. Yeah.

And on our personal social medias as well. You should force on all them too. Yeah, I'm way funnier on my own. I save the good stuff for my channels. Oh, that's true. Thank you so much for listening and we'll be back next week with another episode in the studio. But until then, we'll say thank you and goodbye. Later's.

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