Two In The Think Tank - 194 - Race Around The World with Nellie Bly (and other adventures)

Episode Date: July 10, 2019

Nellie Bly was an all round bad ass! Investigative journalist who went under cover, then travelled around the world in 72 days to prove it could be done. All by the time she was 26.Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/DoGoOnPod Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/Submit-a-Topic Twitter: @DoGoOnPodInstagram: @DoGoOnPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoGoOnPod/Email us: [e-mail] Book tickets to our live 200th show in Brisbane: https://dogoonpod.com/events/See Matt and Jess in their stand up show 'Razzle Dazzle', also in Brisbane: https://www.stickytickets.com.au/88599/matt_stewart__jess_perkins_in_razzle_dazzle.aspx Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasReferences and further reading:https://www.womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/nellie-blyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nellie_Blyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Days_in_a_Mad-Househttps://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/how-nellie-bly-went-undercover-to-expose-abuse-of-the-mentally-illhttps://www.biography.com/news/inside-nelly-bly-10-days-madhousehttps://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/nellie-blys-record-breaking-trip-around-world-was-to-her-surprise-race-180957910/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everybody, Jess and Dave, just jumping in really quickly at the top here to make sure that you are across all the details for our upcoming Christmas show. That's right, we are doing a live show in Melbourne Saturday December the 2nd, 2023, our final podcast of the year, our Christmas special. It's downstairs at Morris House, which usually be called the European beer cafe. On Saturday December the 2nd, 2023 at 4.30pm, come along, come one, come all, and get tickets at doogawonpod.com. At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love.

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That's blueniow.com. This episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most of you aren't just listening right now. You're driving, cleaning, and even exercising. But what if you could be saving money by switching to Progressive? Drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average, and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts. Multitask right now. Quote today at Progressive.com Progressive casualty and trans company and affiliates National average 12 month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved

with progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings were varied. This counts not available in our safe and situations. This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. Hello and welcome to another episode of Duga. One my name is Dave Warner here with Matt Stewart and Jess Perkins. Hello Dave, hello Jess. Hello Matt, hello Dave. Hello Matt Hello Jess. What fun. We are here hanging out having a great night Saturday night where we are. I don't know where you are in the world, but it's Saturday night here. It's been a few Saturday nights lately. We're having a real good time in here.

Yeah, very late on a Saturday night. Saturday night fever, basically creeping in. Yeah, which friend, Drescher had a small rolling. Fun fact, fun fact. You know that because we did a Patreon bonus episode on the nanny last week. Exactly. Oh man, that's still probably one of my favorites of all time. Show, not your report. It was horrendous. But the show.

No, the report was fantastic. I hate the show, but I love the report. Yeah, it's an old angel in a devil in my show right here. I went like a king in the gang. I lied. I also love the nanny. The nanny. Anyway, yes, we are here at Saturday nightite Night and we're ready for some fun. Absolutely, before we get into the fun though,

we've got to tell you that Brisbane show is one week closer than it was last week. To get to Satellite, which is fantastic. We appreciate the people that jumped on board early. August 11th at the Zoo, which is not a zoo, but a venue in Fortitude Valley. You'd be disappointed, right? Few people asking if the primates will be there,

sadly, probably not. Oh, yes, that's true. At the show, because we are not at the Brisbane. if the primates will be there, sadly, probably not. Oh, yes, that's true, because we are not at the Brisbane all be there. Yeah, and we are all primates. Yeah, that's true. Did you notice that someone also asked if we picked Zoo because it looks like 200? Yes, we did. We do that kind of thing. Yeah, because we are 100% on purpose. We could not find a venue called 200 episode Do go on 200 episode is not a popular bar name I was expecting more people to say did you pick the zoo because that's what in the mr. Hands report from coast of movie That's what they're a

Forgotten that in the zoo So we'll be at the zoo. No, Mr. Hands type stuff. Obviously, 11th doing our 200th episode live and then also a do-go-on quiz straight after that. So that's gonna be a lot of fun. Tickets are available now at do-go-onpod.com and a tattoo show and one show. Two for one.

I don't believe it. That was a much easier way of saying it. And then three shows in one show. And then three out in one show. And then three out of four of the next nights after that, you can see Matt and Jess doing stand up. Razzle Dazzles, the name of the show. And you can find out more information and by tickets via matstewacomedy.com slash gigs.

And that's a Hayobah also in Fortitude Valley, same as the zoo. What a place to hang out. Oh, Fortitude Valley, it's the place to be. Yeah, and we're going gonna be there for a week. Yeah, razzle dancing, it's gonna be so much fun. That live pocket, I really can't wait for that week. I love Brisbane, such a fun time we're gonna have. Mm.

All right, thank you. Especially if people come. Yeah, thank you for the people that were there. Really, only if people come, so please come. Please, thank you. Oh, god, hanging out with you. And afterwards, I'm gonna go to that video game bar and set a new record on the Tony Hawk PlayStation 1 game. Oh, last time I was

up there was close. We got to get back there. The, um, it's a car blanket on it, but it's a great bar. Yeah, we'll go back. Yeah, good fun. Good fun that place. All right. We lost you for a while. Oh, man, I was going crazy on that machine. It was like, is anybody seen Dave Tony Hawk too? Get me in there. Rungliffberg, yes please. All right, let's crack on with this week's episode. And if you haven't heard the show before, what we do is we report on a topic.

We take it in terms of a report on that topic, usually suggested by a listener. And it is the people's champion. Jess Perkins report this week. Yes, I am the champion of the people. And Matt and I don't know what you're going to report on. It's been kept a secret from us, but to get us on top of it. You never do. I'm kooky. Yeah. And you're always covering your laptop. Don't look. Don't look. Don't copy me. Don't copy my report. You're going to ask a question to get us on topic. I am.

And my question to you, fellas, and all the people at home is which American journalist was a massive influence on the concept of investigating. Gonzo Ga, what's his name? Journalism. Hunterous Thompson. No. Oh, I really thought it was as well.

I thought it was going to be him as well. So, in influence on investigative journalism. Yes. One of the earliest examples of. Oh, I think. I think. Are we likely to have heard of this name? Is it Jesus? Maybe. Maybe you would have heard. How early are we lucky? We likely to have heard of this name. Is it Jesus? Maybe? Maybe you

would have. How early we're going? It's a Johnny journalist. It's 1800s. Is it the guy who plays Superman? Yeah, you fucking. He plays Superman. Fuckable. Well, that's the interesting thing. Is Clark Kent the secret identity or a Superman think about it who's the real one and who's the fake in a way both yeah that's beautiful thank you poignant well you're wrong in your assumption of hey oh it's a dog an Detective journalist, okay. Okay, I'm trying to think of American, so you said American. Yes. Early, what are we? 1800s.

1800s. Oh, I have no idea about American 1800s. It's pretty great. I've put this up to vote a few times and it's always just missed out. We finally took the hint today on the Patreon and voted for this. Oh no, because this is my choice. So I got to pick it. Oh, you took your own hint. Did you take this out of the Jack the Hat McViddy?

It is out of the Jack the Hat McViddy. Have you heard of Nelly Bligh? Oh, maybe. I think not. Not thinking of Nelly White, the Melbourne comedian that Dave did a show with. Actually, the person who was meant to be the coast. I was like, first off. I was trying to, I'm like, why am I connecting out of you Dave? That's right.

Because she was meant to sit in this seat. I don't know. Really? All those years ago, I asked her first to sit in the seat. You asked her first. That's right. But she was already doing another podcast. She told me so she didn't want to commit to a number one.

Yeah, about one and cheese, I think. I remember listening to that. I did not know other people were asked before me. Well, then I asked Matt, obviously. Oh, okay, this is pre-Matt. And then we asked you. Okay, yeah, my answer is. You were the third choice, it.

Wow. Yeah, you were the first person we asked once it was me and Dave. Yeah. But before it was me, Dave. Yeah, but before it was me Dave asked Nelly right Nelly was In for a bit, but then she couldn't and Dave. I was the second choice. You were the first third choice I'll take it best choice of the map but Nelly blot Nelly blot, so this has been suggested by heaps of people actually and like I said I put it up To vote in the past and I think

Maybe even a couple of times because I think I pulled her out again for one of those like second chance. I love a second chance vote. I love a second chance vote. So fun. And each time she's just missed out. So this time I was like, I want to look into it. So it's been suggested by Simon Dick,

Adam King, Bridget Amble. Are you laughing at Adam King? No, Simon Dick. I know Dick, and I'm joking. Johnny Dawson. I was so focused on his name, I didn't even really hear what you said, I was just wanted to say. It's also been slistered by Salina Houts, Hannah White and Sarah, no surname. That's a lot of suggestions.

A lot of suggestions. For something I've never heard of. The reason it triggered into my mind again is that on Stan, that streaming service, they have a season of drunk history and I was a bit hung over one day and just wanted something easy and funny to watch. And I was watching it and they talk about Nelly Blind. I was like, that is a great story. But they were just talking about one thing that she did.

She actually did a bunch of different things and I'm going to try and talk about three major things that she did in her career. Cool. If that's cool with you guys. A little trip ditch, so to speak. I guess so, yeah. But firstly, some early life. There it is, Nelly Blah.

Why did it all begin? Well, Nelly Blah is actually Elizabeth Jane Cochran. She was born on the 5th of May, 1864, in Cochran's mill in Pennsylvania. It sounds like you are doing a report on someone else. You said this was going to be about Nelly Blie. Yeah. Now you're saying it's about some Cochran's person. Yeah, that's her name.

Hmm. Create a disagree. So it's literally cockles person. Yep, that's her name. Hmm, credit disagree. So... I'm literally one dot point in. Well, I'm interested to know that... Is she important in this town? If she's got the surname that the town has. Yeah, her dad named Cockroons Mill after themselves.

Which I'll explain in a moment. She was one of ten kids. Oh. Do they? No. What was causing of ten kids. Oh, do they? No, what was causing it? So much fucking 10 10 well two marriages two very father's marriages so ten kids five from each wife. I love that keep it even five from each wife He called ten geez Jess you must be lovin' this. Yeah, I love that.

Nice, it clean numbers. It'll make sense. It'll make sense. It might work for you. You get to four or anything. Well, as well. Might as well go one more. For way.

Yeah. Oh, you're down there. So, here is his first five kids with his first wife, Catherine Murphy, and another five with his second wife, and Nellie's mother, Mary Jane Kennedy. Her father was a man named Michael Cochran, who was the son of an Irish migrant. He was a labourer and mill worker before buying the local mill, and most of the land surrounding his family farmhouse. That's quite nice. You work you out, the mill you buy the mill.

Yeah, and he later became a merchant, a postmaster, and associate justice, a Cochrane's mill, which he named after himself, which is in Pennsylvania. And they lived quite comfortably, like they weren't mega wealthy, but they were comfortable. But when Michael Cochrane died, when Elizabeth was about six,

the family were unable to maintain the land or the property, and her mother moves the family to Pittsburgh. On the golden mile, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Yep. I read somewhere that she attended Teachers College briefly, so she was at least fairly educated. But due to the family's lack of funds, she couldn't afford to finish her education and she left school to help her mother run a boarding house. And when she was either 16 or 21, depending on which article you read. Everything's in five.

Somewhere in that span. She wrote an article in the Pittsburgh Dispatch, which she was very angered by. One resource said the article was called, what girls are good for? And I want that to be true, so we're going to go for that. It was, what girls are good for? And I want that to be true, so we're gonna go for that. It was called what girls are good for?

And that basically this article just said that girls were principally for birthing children and keeping the house. That was all they were really good for. Right, I say. And she was not having it. When they say girls, I mean women? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, teen ages, you know, the big thing age. So the bit that you have the biggest problem with in this? Apart from that, it's fine. It should say women are on the good bit of a thing, please. I was wondering, are they talking about a young children? No. Well, it's not about having young children and having children.

Yeah, when I say young, I mean teenagers. Yeah. No, as an old man, teenagers are young. This is the late 1800s as well, so marrying a very young... Oh, you say it was a different time? It was a different time! They don't be very old now. Yeah, they're all dead now.

Big time. No, that's sad. This story just got sad. So she wasn't having it. She thought this article was a big old pile of BS. So she penned an open letter to the editor under the pseudonym Lonely Orphan Girl, massive slap in the face to her mum. That's like, do they, people have pseudonyms like that before the internet?

Yeah. Lonely Orphan Girl, underscore 15 at hotmail.co. The editor was a guy called George Mad, and he was impressed with her passion and ran an ad asking the author to identify herself. When she- When the orphan girl up plays the identify herself. Also, she's not an orphan. I know.

Soaring us off the cent. Which is a bit seriously. Slapping the face to a mom there. Just definitely. Yeah. So that's 30 seconds ago. Dude, I did you. Those exact words. Did you actually say that?

Yes. As soon as I said lonely off and girl, I followed her immediately with a slight comedic beat. I said, bit of a slap in the face to mum there. That is a bit of a slap in the face to mum there. That you saying that was a bit of a slap in the face to mum there, mum being Jess. Right.

I am the mum of this pod and you too, Neade, your veggies. Anyway, I put the slap in the face to my mum there. So, you ran an ad saying, come forth, identify yourself, show yourself. And she really had the same stuff. It would be so good. She got in contact, she introduced herself to him, and he offered her the opportunity to write a piece for the newspaper, again, using the pseudonym of Lonely, Orphan, Girl. Her first article for the dispatch.

People are crying out for the Lonely Orphan. Yeah, they're like, is this a child needing a family at home? Why did she use the pseudonym if she was pretty happy to be found? And I guess... Yeah, I don't know. I guess she stood there right then. And she probably didn't realize that the editor would actually be like, do you want a job?

Yeah. Yeah. So now she's writing articles or she's being given the opportunity to write an article. So the first one she wrote was entitled The Girl Puzzle. And it was about how divorce affected women. In it, she argued for reform of divorce laws and Madden was very impressed again

and offered her a full-time job as a regular columnist. So she's got a gig. Good stuff. It was quite customary then for female newspaper writers to use pen names and the editor suggested Nelly Blie. But what I don't get is A, Y, you're using a pen name to protect your identity, I suppose. But I also thought a lot of them, a lot of like female writers way back in the day,

would write under a man's name. But this is just a different woman's name. Yeah, I think maybe in this instance, because I imagine at the time, some of the stuff she's writing is quite controversial. Right. So maybe you are distancing yourself from those opinions that a lot of people probably were not really here at the time. Yeah, I suppose that makes sense. Maybe. I think she's already got a great to name.

Learned the orphan girl 15. It's so good. Yeah. How do you top that? Nelly Blie. It's fine. So she wanted her writing to focus on the lives of working women, and she wrote a series of investigative pieces about women factory workers. And

the factory owners weren't happy with this and complained to the newspaper, and Nelly was reassigned to the society pages, also known as the women's pages, to cover fashion, society, and gardening. You know, the things women want to read about. Big three. Big three. Don't worry yourself with news and politics and... Yada, yada, yada, yada. He is how to make a delightful apple pie.

Yeah, and I know it's a bad and backward and stuff, but I'd love that to be my wife. Writing about. No, I just live in that life. Well, my concern's a gardening. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And just being in society, going to some balls. Yeah.

I would love to know about politics. That would be nice, actually. I could do that. I don't know, maybe tomorrow I'm just gonna do some gardening. What am I talking about? I don't wanna do gardening. Garling sucks. I'm just like in my head, I'm like, how cool are plants, but I don't wanna be around. I don't wanna do some gardening. What am I talking about? I don't wanna do gardening. Garling sucks. I'm just like in my head, I'm like,

how cool are plants, but I don't wanna be around. I don't wanna deal with that. I wanna be around it, but I don't wanna be dealing with it. I want someone else to look after them. I've got two plants in my house, and they're both dying. And I could probably do something about it,

and it's too much effort. There's two pot plants on the window, still right in front of me when I'm doing the dishes and I'm just looking at them slowly wilting. God, geez. Only there was another way. I'm standing at a tap. Yeah, I could water them.

And such a short run to get water in them. Anytime my parents were gardening and they'd say, do you want to give us a hand in the garden, I usually try to be a pretty helpful kid if I asked for help, but with gardening, I would just be blatantly like, fuck no, I do not want to do, I will sit on this couch where I can see you gardening, and I will watch you sit out there in the heat. I'm gonna watch TV this entire time.

I found weeding pretty satisfying. If you get a clean, get the right app by the roots, that was pretty sweet. Yeah. I'll water with a hose from a distance. Okay. But anything through the window. Anything complicated, no thanks.

Anyway, stop in the face to mum. I'll have a own property and have a garden to tend anyway, so it's fine. Yeah, so anyway, now she's writing for the society pages and yes, this is the norm for female journalists, but Nelly grew increasingly bored. Still at the age, she was only 21. She was 16. But this time, pretty sure she's 21. She went to Mexico as a foreign correspondent. She was determined to do something no girl has done before, which spoiler alert she'll go on to do a few more times. She spent about six months in Mexico reporting on lives and customs of the Mexican people and her dispatches later were published in a book form as six months in Mexico. They were very

creative. It's still so... Booksmer. Six months in Mexico. How does she think of it? That's a headline. I'm listening. I'm reading. You got more attention. It's also so weird that she's just like... She's just writing about the Mexican people. I find that kind of weird, like she's observing animals

in their natural habitat. She's like, oh yeah, look at this, what they do. But I suppose back then travel is less common. So it probably was a lot more interesting to hear about different cultures. I just get into the culture. There is a very famous magazine called National Geographic that does exactly that. No, no, no, I know, but it's more, yeah, but, yeah, true. Does that probably goes back to 1800s, does it?

National Geographic? Yeah. Pretty old. Anyway. It's a bit clickbaiting the title, don't you think? Six months in Mexico. Oh, yeah, great. You click on it. It's not even six months. Yeah, top 10 things to do in Mexico. Yeah, great. After six months, she actually had to flee Mexico. After the authorities learned about one of her reports, which had criticized the Mexican government, which at the time was a dictatorship under Port Ferial Diaz.

Well dear, you're the night cross, Port Ferial. And she had to flee the country, badass. So she's back in the States, she's back to the Pittsburgh Dispatch and of course she's reporting on hard-hitting stuff like theatre and art. That sounds great. I saw no, just to be able to like look at some art. But the annoying thing would be that it's not her interest and she's got, it's like just based on her gender.

Very annoying. Exactly. If that's what you want to write about, dream job. Sick. But she's like, I'm bored by this. Like that, that snooty guy from Fraser. Remember him? No.

He, that's he was all about. He used to just do that stuff. I want to be him. That's a great life. But not for Nelly. Nelly goes. I want to be a snooty guy. Do you think I could do it?

Do you think I could pull it off? No. Fays a pseudonym. No. And I just start riding in and I ride a bit more snooty than I would otherwise. No. Okay, hear me. No. What's hear me. No.

What's your snoot anem? Fuck you, laugh at Dave's joke. That was a very good one. Was that good pun work? Well, is it a pun? Yeah. I think I'd call myself a fesant pee-frith-em-frop. Well, that's good.

Fesant pee-frith-em-frop. Yeah. That's very nice. A laugh-fesant pee frithem frop. Well, that's good. Fesant pee frithem frop. Yeah. A lot of fesant pee. Let us snoot an oom. Yeah, that's a snootiest snoot an oom. Oh, patreon section of the end. Let's do snoot an oom. So for everyone.

Yeah, great. Oh, I hope we don't forget between now and then. It's a chance. It's possible. Um, anyway. So she's back to writing theatre and art and she thinks, now fuck this. So in 1887, she leaves the Pittsburgh Dispatch and heads for New York City. Oh, the big apple. City never sleeps. She's 23 at this point. She takes off for New City,

wanting to write some real stories. It took her a few months, but eventually, she talked away into the office of New York World, the newspaper published by Joseph Pulitzer, of Pulitzer Prize fame. Oh, I just love that. It took her a few months to talk away into the office. She was at the door. Come on. Please let me in. Honestly, no, come on.

Please. I won't leave until you let me in. All right. Great Pulitzer's like leaving every night, walking past Sorry. We'll see you'll see tomorrow, I guess. She's still there at the morning pleading. Come on! Morning, Mr. Pulitzer. Let me in.

No. Thank you. No. So she talks away into the office and she impress them enough to leave with an assignment. And this is her writing later. She says, I was asked by the world if I could have myself committed to one of the asylum for the insane in New York, with a view to writing a plain and unvarnished narrative of the treatment of the patients therein. That is cool. Yeah.

Imagine those places would have been no good back there. They were like, they had a bit of a, there was rumors about their treatment of people in them, but nobody had really sort of looked into it probably. This isn't a wild. Yeah. Are these people have been treated awfully apparently? We haven't, we haven't looked into it. Yeah, that's what I've heard.

But, you know, hopefully it just gets better. Surely, it can't be that bad. So neither her nor the editors had a clear plan of how they'd get her out of this time when she got in. And nonetheless, she got to work. Firstly, she had to get in. So she went into a room at a boarding house called Temporary Homes for females. She used the name Blire Brown and began questioning and imitating the women who seemed most insane to her. So she's just like, okay, you look crazy. I'm going to copy what you're doing. And then questioning them too.

Yeah. And she like, she stayed up all night so that she sort of had that wide-eyed days look. She practiced like looking crazy. She started on overnight, so I'm ready. Yeah, it'll try to be a mental. Wait a second. So she's there, she's living in this house. She'd make accusations to the matron

that other patrons were insane. She'd refused to go to bed. Eventually she'd scared enough people of the other patrons that she was taken by the police to a local courthouse, where she was examined by the police, by a judge and by a doctor. And all she said is, I'm not crazy, they're all crazy.

And they went, okay. She's, she's, what was the Pepsi? I know, I know what to do. So they sent Blair to Bellevue Hospital, where she got a taste of the suffering to come, as hospital inmates were forced to eat spoiled food and live in squalid conditions. Oh god. I mean, this is how they're going to get better, doesn't it? It just gets worse. So eventually, after a few assessments, she was diagnosed with dementia and other psychological illnesses.

She was sent by ferry to Blackwell's Island in the East River. It's now known as Roosevelt Island. It was named, it was changed in the 70s. And she was taken to the Women's Lunatic Asylum. It was originally built to hold a thousand patients, but it was crammed with more than 1,600 people when she arrived in the fall of 1887. So they're overcrowded, they're understaffed because of massive budget cuts. There were 16 doctors on staff. It's 100 patients each. Maths. That's pretty good. Pretty good math. Thank you so much.

I'm so glad it was an easy number. But yeah, so they're wildly understaffed and the conditions are disgusting. So according to biography.com, buy quickly, befriended her fellow inmates who revealed rampant psychological and physical abuse. Patients were forced to take ice cold baths and remain in wet clothes for hours, leading to frequent illnesses. They were forced to sit still on benches without speaking or moving for stints lasting 12 hours or more.

There. Some patients were tethered together with ropes and forced to pull carts around like mules. What, why? I know. What, exactly. What are you achieving there? Apparently, I think it was, I read somewhere else

that it was like the most, the patients they deemed the most dangerous. They just tied them together. Fatal. Sort of self-hound. Yeah. Put the dangerous ones together in very close proximity. It's very strange.

Yeah, it's old ideas about medicine and stuff for always. Yeah. You know, it boggles the mind. The mind boggles. Yeah, it's justles the mind. The mind boggles. Yeah. It's just so crazy it might work. It did. Actually, to me, it sounds a little bit like the lunatics have taken over the asylum.

This is still from Biographer.com. It says, food and sanitary conditions were horrific with rotten meat, moldy, stale bread, and frequently contaminated water dished out. Those who complained or resisted were beaten and bligh even spoke of the threat of sexual violence by vicious tyrannical staffers. So it's pretty, it's completely fucked. Once she was in, she abandoned any pretense at mental illness and began to behave like she would normally.

She went completely normal. And the hospital staff seemed unaware that she was no longer insane and instead began to report her ordinary actions as symptoms of her illness. Right. So just like completely oblivious. What a nightmare. It sounds like a psychological thriller slash horror movie. And at what point do you reckon she thinks, oh shit. Yeah, I'm in trouble. I, yeah, this is too much because it's it's so gross and like Bathing them it would just like same bath water just cult buckets of cold water over the top of them It was awful disgusting and after 10 days of living in these conditions her employer managed to secure her release and she left

This arms and she was only there for 10 days Which is still an absolute nightmare you'd be panicking that the bosses are going to come through. Yeah, they're not going to be able to leave you in there. Oh, because I imagine it's very difficult to convince them, hey, actually, I'm a journalist. Yeah, because anything you say, they're like, okay, wait for Joseph Pulitzer. So is that okay? Yeah, all that's great. What a wonderful job you have. Yeah get it back in the iceberg. Yeah, exactly. Of course you do. Yes.

So what came from this experience was a series of articles for the New York world later compiled into a book titled Ten Days in Mexico. In America. In America. Oh. Ten days in America. What?

I meant, so this is a pretty groundbreaking type of story then. Yeah, massive. Undercover. Yeah, that sort of undercover really immersive investigation was not common at all. So a lot of people, including doctors, were perplexed about how she managed to fake away in. And she actually spoke on how the main physician that performed her examination was more focused on the attractive nurse that was assisting the exam than Nelly herself.

So she was like, it was pretty easy because he wasn't really paying attention. A lot of medical professionals tried to explain how she tricked everyone, but her reports actually resulted in a massive investigation into the conditions of these arms and resulted in an enormous budget increase. I read a few different numbers, but somewhere between $850,000 and $1 million. And this is in the 1800s. Right, that's a lot of money.

Huge. It was this massive like grand jury investigating it and they ended up bumping it up by so much. And the grand jury also ensured that future examinations were more thorough, and that only the seriously ill were committed to the asylum. And approximately a month after her articles ran in print, many of the most glaring problems she'd reported had improved. There was better living in sanitary conditions, more nourishing meals were provided, translators were hired for the foreign born who were not necessarily mentally ill, but simply couldn't understand their keepers. Oh my god. Isn't that insane? That's wild. I'm not insane, I'm just Spanish. Yeah exactly, they're like, oh. I just don't understand.

It's just a made up language. What are they saying? It's a big English gibberish year. I just don't quite understand. Some of the people in here speaking to gibberish to each other, so they understand each other. They understand each other. So we are like the top one and the other people to gibberish. Yeah, let's study them. Yeah. And actually, also some of the most abusive nurses and physicians were fired and replaced

immediately as well. So people lost, bad people lost their jobs. So that was great. Nelly said, I left the insane ward with pleasure and regret, pleasure that I was once more able to enjoy the free breath of heaven, regret that I could not have brought with me some of the unfortunate women who lived and suffered with me and who I am convinced are just as sane as I am as I was and am now myself. Right, but it does sound like she really improved conditions quickly. Yes. Mass. Free breath of heaven. It's a weird turn of process. It's a weird way to put it, but you know, it was a different time. Yeah, I

recommend you chuck it on a silent for that. Yeah, I think actually she's crazy. Yeah, they're really out of going hang on. Is this Spanish? So the books made her a massive success. People loving it. What does she do next? Movies, Hollywood. It's funny. It's funny in my head, I'm like, this all comes out and I'll be like, back then, expecting people to be like, yeah, those places are bad. It's kind of cool and even way back then though, like, this is not on.

Yeah, that's my mind. Oh, yes. 150 years ago. It's a nightmare time. I'll put it in our souls. They're all brutal. Oh, you've got mental health issues. I don't even have a fuck.

That's not a thing. Yeah. I've got a century. I mean, at least they shocked people and they made it better. Yeah. Yeah. It's huge, really exciting. So now she's looking for something else to do.

Well, about 15 years earlier, a French author by the name of Jules Verne had written a little book, Dave, called... 300 meters under the sea. 20,000 leaks under the sea? No. No. Around the world in 80 days?

Yes, around the world in 80 days. And nearly being who she is. That is a very similar naming, the star. Yeah, it's a simple at time. It's everything is a place and an amount of time. Say everything's everything's pretty good at it.

The theoretical is known back then. Well Nelly suggested that she put that timeframe to a test. She was like, I can do it faster. And her editor resisted saying it wasn't something a lady would be capable of. A lady. And Nelly said, well, that's fine, you send a man, and I'll go to a different newspaper, and they can send me, and we'll see. And they went, okay, yep, you can do it. So they gave in, and Nelly took off on her journey on November 14, 1889, on board the Augusta

Victoria. Apparently, all she took with her was the dress she was wearing, a sturdy overcoat, several changes of underwear, smart, and a small travel bag carrying her toiletries, and that was about it. She also had most of her money, which was only 200 pounds, in a little bag tied around her neck. Like a cheese dog. I was running the van, she's a super nah. Shut up.

I'm saving that twist for the end. She took her collar. Yeah. So you met a guy named... A leash for walkies. So yeah, one dress seems like a wild one. Yeah. And do you think you took 80 pairs of underwear?

No, you'd have to wash all of it. Oh. Never wash on holiday. Take one for every day. Dave, we were on tour for like three weeks. Took 21 pairs, baby. Do you have that many pairs of underwear? Actually, yes.

It's a problem. It's a problem. I've got a problem. Anyway, so unbeknownst to Nelly, she had some competition. Oh, I'm a genius, Fob. No, well, that's who she thought she was racing. She was like, I'm racing the concept of time. I'm racing a fictional character. But the same day she left, Cosmopolitan magazine, sent one of their writers on the same journey, but in the opposite direction. What?

Well, are they going to do something in their sealed section? Yeah. It's like the hottest sex around Europe. Around the world in 80 positions. That's so good. That's so good, and it's definitely something they've done. That's so good. That's so good and it's definitely something they've done. That's some point. I'll 100%. And they've made the... They want dog. The pictures are like... It's a dog again.

They want the pictures. Just something like that. It's just like a bit... they're cheeky, but they're actually not explicitly sexual, like it might be somebody like inactive where bending down to tie their shoe. Yes. You know, like they're like, oh, sex, but it's not. It's like, okay. Classy, that's what that is.

Yeah, they're classy. That's class. The woman that was chosen was Elizabeth Bizzleand. She was the literary editor of Cosmo. And apparently she, uh, day to day, she reveled in gracious hospitality and smart conversation, both of which were regularly on display in... At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love, all in one place. You'll find beauty favorites, cozy

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she was, yeah, that's what she did. And that's totally fine. So her editor asked her to race and she said no, because she had guests coming for dinner and nothing to wear on the journey. But eventually, she agreed. It was also said that she had no desire to do it because she knew that it would like

it cultivates some notoriety. She knew it would be like a big deal and she didn't want the fame. She didn't want that attention. So the cruise. Yeah, she was just like no, I'm happy with what I'm doing now. Sounds like she was living a pretty good life. I'm going to put some gardening, a bit of waiting and I've been having. Well, she's got an apartment, so maybe not a much of a garden space. The our breath of heaven, whatever we... Yes, that sweet heavenly breath. Yeah, that sweet heavenly breath. But her editor convinced her to go,

so on the same day that Nelly left, she left going the opposite direction. Into space. Yeah, she just started digging. direction into space. Yeah, she just started digging. So seven days of sickness, see sickness later, and Nelly was in London. She took a trip, she took a train to Paris, she went and met Jules Verne himself. There was a train to Paris from London in the 1800s. Bloody.

Wait, I'm starting to think this is late 1800s. Yeah, it is late, yes. Quite late. So this is like 18, this is probably the 90s, I think. Hang on, I can tell you. It is 18, oh, oh, girl. That's all the sunlight. 1889 Oh, good. All of a sudden, by... 89, 1889.

Great. I heard 18, it's 100 years. Things changed a lot from the early 1800s to the late, and I... I reckon now I understand that people cared about people's health. I reckon they've changed in the 1800s. Jerkin, that was a big century. Big century. But cool that you met Jules Verne.

She went and met Jules Verne. Apparently I think he invited her to come along, she was like, you know what, I'm ahead of schedule. I'll go meet Jules for a good burn. So she did. And he wished her luck. And apparently he said, if you do it in 79 days, I shall applaud with both hands. Yeah, Jules.

You go solo in 80 days. I don't, yeah, that's how you clap. Yeah, you go solo 80 guys Yeah, that's how you clap It's a year's and too many words And I know you've got to fill out the page of your dumb books, but Not good with word economy. Yeah, you know the doc on back to the future is a big fan of Jules van, I think you named his kids Jules and Vern Tristory then really took one for the team big fan of Joel's fan. I think he named his kids Jules and Vern. True story. Vern really took one for the team. Day one. So she continues through Europe and onto Egypt blissfully unaware

that she's in the middle of a competition. She doesn't know, she has no idea. No one's telegram to her or anything. No, no idea. My goodness. So she's just cruising along. Especially if they could telegram that person could easily set the record. Because they'd be catching up to her on her journey. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. So she continues on both Nelly and Elizabeth sending back stories that are making the front pages.

People are following their journeys kind of like, it's viral. It's 1890's viral. People are loving it. Nellie's editor began taking bets on when she was going to arrive home down to the minute. And they also reprinted a counts of blice journey from papers in country she'd visited. So like even where she's going, people are writing about it. Then they're reprinting those stories back in America as well. So it's pretty wild. And she arrived in Hong Kong on Christmas Day

and reported to the office of the Oriental and Occidental Steamship Company. The Transmoral Fogium. That's it. Yeah. So she was setting her date, she was basically gonna set up a ship to go to Japan. And there, the man in the office told her,

she was gonna lose her race. This is the first she's heard of any race. She's thought, do you mean against time? Is that me? Well, I've got exactly what she wrote. She says, lose it. I don't understand what you mean. She says, lose it. I don't understand what you mean. I demanded beginning to think he was mad. I don't even want to solve him.

Aren't you having a race around the world he asks as if he thought I was not nearly blind? Yes, quite right. I'm running a race with time. I replied time. I don't think that's her name. I repeated thinking poor fellow. he's quite unbalanced. Yes, the other time is clearly a man. The other woman. She's going to win. She left here three days ago. So Elizabeth Bizzle has gotten to Hong Kong three days earlier than Nelly Bliehast. No, the one who had dinner plans. Yeah. Well, she's got to get back for that. They left the same day, but she's gotten to Hong Kong three days earlier. What? So probably I'm guessing that seeing as one, only one of them knows it's a race, that's a fair advantage, you know what I mean?

One of them's just going, I'm just going to make it in 80 days, I'm going to enjoy it. You've got to make it in less than 80. Yeah, that's easy peasy. I'm on track. I'm having a nice time while I do that. Someone has to go and I'm racing this other person. Yeah, I'm not going to stop and enjoy anything. So Nelly's pretty shocked to hear that Elizabeth was racing, but she pushed on. She apparently, I don't know how bothered she was by it, but I think she just kind of presses on. She heads for Japan, but not without a small detour to buy a monkey while she waited for the steamship to be ready. Wait, what? I have no information about what she did with the monkey.

Over some week, this became an episode of Primate. I know. You can do it if you want. Yeah, she bought a monkey. I think in Singapore, I don't know. But we don't know what happened to the monkey. Did she eat the monkey? Well, I don't think so.

Let's say no. Did she shock the monkey? She partied with the monkey. She sp happened to the monkey. Did she eat the monkey? Well, I don't think so. Let's say no. Did she shock the monkey? She partied with the monkey. She spanked the monkey? What? What? She ate it. It's natural.

It's fine. It's fine. I'm fascinated. You're on a long journey. I mean, it's been 70 days in the same period of underpants. You got to spank the monkey. Yeah, come on. Where did that phrase come from?

So stupid, isn't it? Spanked't it? It's not a spanking motion. No, it's not very monkey-ish either. God no. No, where did that come from? Not the ones I've seen. Am I doing it wrong? Anyway, so through a stroke of luck, Nelly had a very smooth but long trip across the Pacific to San Francisco. Now with a monkey? No, Nelly had a very smooth, but long trip across the Pacific to San Francisco. Now with a monkey? No, I don't know where the monkey is now. I love that you added that detail.

Of course, I read it. I was like, that is wild. I couldn't find much else on it, so I was like, it's still going in, because she bought a monkey. She bought a monkey. She only had 200 pound with her. How do you buy a fucking monkey?

That seems like an extravagant purchase. Yeah. That seems like you can't eat the rest of the week. Yeah. You blind your budget. Anyway, so she's get Spector San Francisco. She's greeted in America with huge celebration. But does that count? No, because she's got to go back to where she left. She's got to go back to New York. She's not done, but she's back in America. The newspaper chartarded a single car train to speed her across the country. A trip that she said was one maze of happy greetings, happy wishes, congratulating telegrams, fruit, flowers, loud cheers, wild hurrats, rapid handshaking, and a beautiful car filled with fragrant flowers attached to a swift

engine that was tearing like mad! Through flower dot it's so many fucking flowers in this center. Flower dot it valley and over snow-tipped mountain. It was glorious, a ride worthy of a queen. So you're seven the best time. So she completed her journey arriving back in New York on January 25th, 1890, having done it in 72 days. How?

But where is the other woman she's dead? That would be cool for the story. No, it'd be bad for the story. It would sort of put it down. She got a monkey with a monkey bitter and she died. No, she did make it. Oh, Nelly had somehow beaten Elizabeth Bizzleand, who arrived four days later. Wow, that's a big.

Still beating 80 days. Yes. Quite comfortably, but not beating Nelly, mother fucking blood. That's actually so cool. Maybe someone didn't charter her a single carriage train. For the last chunk of the jail. Yeah, that probably helped. She had to walk the last four days. Yeah. Well, apparently it was later discovered that although Bizlund had arrived in Hong Kong first, she had missed a connection, like to her ship and had to instead take a much slower boat,

which added a lot of time for it. There was one in drunk history, but it's also drunk history, so how much can you really take from it? But they kind of thought that maybe, or maybe it's been said somewhere and I just didn't read it, but it was like, she gets to Hong Kong and the person there's kind of a nelly blife and it was like, nah, nah, you missed your boat, Jeff to get a different one and put it on a slow boat, which I'd like to believe just because that's fun. So yeah, so she comes back and much to Elizabeth Bizzle and's dismay. She arrives home famous as well.

Oh no. She's like, fuck. But unlike Nelly Blie, who promptly began a four-city lecture tour, Elizabeth Bizzle and fled the attention lived for a year in Great Britain. And she never spoke publicly about the trip again after that first day. So she gets back, she's like, okay, this is my trip, and then she doesn't talk about it

again. She's like, I don't want the fame. What happened to my trip? Very similar to Boone last week. Yeah, not wanting to talk about it. No, no, no, no, that was just my thing. It's my journey. This is another wild journey, Bob.

Yeah, it is. And if only I had thought about it earlier. This deserves a ton of episodes. This all came about, because as a child, she wrote a letter to the editor. Yeah, exactly. Amazing. And she's not done.

That's what's wild to me. She's already done all this. How old is she? Oh, she's 26. Yeah, right. me. She's already done all this. How old is she? Oh, she's 26. Yeah, right. No. She's 26. And she's been around the world in 72 days.

72 days. Back in this era. So Nelly Blis journey was a world record, but only for a few months, because it was beaten not long after by man named George Francis Train. Hi, he's an extra. He had an advantage.

But yeah, so she broke the record. Massive. And yes, she was actually a train. Yeah, so to be fair, some of the cross-ocean stuff was hard, but some of the land stuff was easy. It balanced out. Did she get in a hot air balloon at all? God, that'd be cool, but I don't think so. Like Jackie Chan did on the film. I can't think of any of his movies. Rush hour. Rush hour two. Okay.

Can you edit out that gap? Yes. I guess so, I was in a hurry to inquire if they got to about two minutes. I've been going. That's about how long it was. Yeah. Why can't I think of any other?

My brain is not working. You said lots of movies. Earlier I couldn't think of, I was trying to say naming convention and I think I said something like the naming vibe thing or something like that. I've been that way. I don't know if you said that. I think you thought that. You thought that.

I didn't even say it right. And before I said day one, didn't read anything. Yeah, I noticed I was like, you just went day one, and then went, oh, I don't know. What, out of context? Yeah, I said, I said, but the Rachel's burn. Yeah, I said, yeah.

Yeah, the burn's really wearing one there, and I said, day one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You two are so polite about it. I thought it was a joke that I just didn't get to. Me too. I was like, yeah, burns took one for the team there. Shit, they! Yeah, I said, yeah, Bernstein, come on for the team there, shit name whatever

I said yeah, day one I was like, I don't know if I should bring this up, I don't know why I said that I mean, you could have got away with it and then you brought it up anyway Look at this is the most embarrassing thing since I repeated Jessus Joker I'm word for word 10 seconds I mean, I'm doing the report, you should probably be listening to me today in some point. I know it's a nice change for you. Do you have any idea what you were trying to say? I don't know. My brain let me down there. It obviously thought something. It thought

it had something. And it didn't. It's very late at night. You've been very sick. I'm giving you a couple of excuses there. Thank you very much. Day one. Day one. Anyway, so she's 26 years old. And she's done two of her three life events, is that right? Yeah. You're going to tell us about that.

So she went undercover in a lunatic's asylum, wrote huge articles about it that changed those conditions. Then she went around the world in 72 days, mostly on a company, which was completely unheard of back then, women needed a chaperone. So this is, that's two things that are like the biggest thing that most people would ever do. Yeah, she's not done. I know. So five years after she completed a world tour,

she married millionaire manufacturer Robert Seaman. All right. Married him for the job. Seaman. She was 31. He was 73. Oh. That's quite a gap.

It's a bit of a gap. He's loved ones were a bit suspicious. They were sure that she'd married him for his cash. No. She doesn't say much his cash. No, she doesn't, she doesn't seem like she didn't want it. No, it doesn't seem like that at all. One magazine, though, even wondered if it was an example of her stunt reporting. Oh, that makes sense to me. She's pretending to be married and then she's going to write about it. What's like to fucking old girl? The inside story. She's a little bit of a saga.

It's really going to the toilet nine times in one night. Find out in this article. Yeah, she's working for Cosmo now. Day one. Day one of marriage. To an old man. He smells. And he forgets a lot. Yeah, but they seemed, you know, relatively happy. It was just a regular marriage.

Age, love knows no age, but area. Anyway, it is quite late. It is quite late. So late. Uh, Heaven's Breath. I'm nearly done. Um, but when Robert's health started to fail, why? Because he's older, shit.

No. It's 70s. By this time, he's, Oh, she's like then? Well, by this time he's close to 80. Yeah. I had like several years of a perfectly normal life together. But then as he gets a bit older,

he's health starts to fail a little bit. So she retired from journalism. It succeeded her husband as head of the Ironclad Manufacturing Company, which made steel containers such as milk cans and boilers. So she's looking after the company. And she's killing it. She's doing really well running the business. Robert passed away in 1904. They'd been married for nine years by that time. And Nelly continued to run the company with great success. In business, her curiosity and independent spirit flourished. She went on to a patent several inventions related to oil manufacturing, many of which are still

used today. So she's also invented shit. Javani are the things, I'll read weird boring things. I think one of them was like a stackable bin kind of thing. It's funny, on Wikipedia, it listed the patent numbers. Right. I was like, this is sick. Yeah, she's invented a couple of things as well. And for a time, she was one of the leading women industrials in the United States.

But her negligence led to not noticing that a factory manager was embezzling money and it resulted in the iron-clad manufacturing company going bankrupt. How much money was the embezzling? Quite a bit, by the looks of it. I don't know how much longer she was running that company for. To be fair, a lot of biographies about it really focused quite heavily on the journalism thing or the, uh the around the world thing. They're kind of like, yeah, and also she ran a company.

Which is fucking crazy. It's like the 1900, early 1900, that's insane. Anyway. But it's not going very well. Not a far after that. So the company goes bankrupt, closes down. She goes. They're not going very well, they went bankrupt.

That's not very well. It could go better. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. I don't want a bankrupt. It's not very well. It could go better. Yeah, that's all I'm saying. I don't want to criticize her. Root is to improve. I'm not a business expert. It's a fixed rapper. Yeah. So she goes back to journalism and she wrote stories on Europe's East and Front during World War One. She was the first woman and one of the first foreigners to visit the war zone between Serbia and Austria,

she was actually arrested because she was mistaken for a British spy. She was like, no, American rider. She was a perfect cover story. She also covered the women's suffrage parade of 1913. And under the headline, suffragists are men's superiors. Her parade story predicted that it would be 1920 before women in the United States would be given the right to vote and she was bang on. So she predicted that as well. But sadly, all good things must come to it. No, she didn't. In January 1922, Nelly Blie passed away after contracting pneumonia.

She was 57 years old. Whoa. Pretty good innings, I guess, but not ideal. It's very young. Imagine what more she could have done, but she has had an enormous impact on the world, including being a massive name in the world who investigative journalism,

of feminism and of industry. And that is my story about the absolute badass that is Nelly Bligh. That is, what a life. What a life, what a story, what a life. What a story, what a life. What a dream. Crazy.

Now I know why she has the drunk histories about her. Yeah. She deserves that. It's good shit. What a beautiful tribute. Ellie Kimper plays her. The ultimate tribute. Ellie Frick plays her. The ultimate tribute. Ellie Frick and Kimper.

Okay. That's huge. That's big. That's Kimmy Schmidt. Yeah. Okay. Okay. She's guest hosted the Ellen show.

Okay. Okay. Also the receptionist on the office. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's okay. But yeah, that was it. So thank you to all those people who suggested it. And I'm glad we got to do it eventually because that's a pretty wild story.

Absolutely. Thank you so much everyone. Did you suggest that? Because I'm glad to know that. Yeah. Every now and then this show will educate. Every now and then. As well as entertain. Mostly. That's the balance right. Yeah. And I think it did today. It's hard to get it right the way.

That is hard. Yeah. And it's an ongoing battle. Yep. But. We're always entertaining. But we got to remember we're not here to entertain. We're here to educate.

Yeah. That's why the Board of Trustees put us in place. Yeah. Thank you to the Board. Thank you. Anyway, day one. And... Well, what we like to do at the end of every episode is spend a little bit of time with

our Patreon people. Yes, it is so good to have the Patreon people here with us again today and everyone else who's listening in for the ride. Thank you so much for joining us. What you can do if you want to contribute to the show is go to patreon.com forward slash do go on pot and there are a bunch of different rewards you can get bonus episodes, shout-outs and one thing we also like to do is if you are on the Sydney Shireberg Rest in Peace level, you can submit a fact, quote, or question.

That's right. That's what we're going to do right now. Yes. And this week, a fact and much like last week, I believe, looking up my list, it is another Jacob. This week, Jacob Giron or Iran, Giron. Jeez, tricky. G could be anything.

Yeah. Is it soft? Is it hard? Is it silent? Giron. Giron. Jacob Giron. That's beautiful.

Jacob Giron. Jacob Giron. And you get to give yourself your own title. That's right. And Jacob has given himself the title of Vice President of Presidential Vases. Oh, I like that. What's your presidential voice?

Heroine. Oh, yeah, that's good. Nice. One's honey. Yeah. You can't get enough. But you can just get that yourself now. You don't have to be president to get honey.

You don't know what I do with honey. Oh God, Dave. What do you do with honey? You don't want to know. What do you do with the honey? I cannot say. Is it sex? Is it sex related? You know, presidents are you doing? You don't want to know. I don't do it. What do you do with the hunting? I cannot say. Is it sex related?

You know, presidents are allowed to get away with one crime. Yeah. That's my crime. Is that real? Be boning. Well, I said too much. Wow, what's your presidential life? A little bit of dark chocolate.

Oh, you love a bit of dark chocolate? A little bit of dark chocolate. So delicious. Anyway, what is the? Jacob Girond or is Yuckel-Juron, has given us a fact. And his fact is, Lobsters have bladders on either side of their heads.

So they communicate by urinating at each other. Is this true? Well, it's a fact. So I guess it is. If they want another lobster to know that they're happy or sad, or angry, or interested in a relationship, they say it with pee. Oh, that's a great explanation book.

Say it with pee. Say it with pee. This Valentine's Day. Oh, yeah. It's a formal ad campaign. Say it with pee. That's beautiful, Jacob. Jacob thinks it's a little bit more. That's amazing.

If that's not true, we don't fact check. So don't worry about it. We all feel happy having that. Yeah, that's amazing. It's a beautiful fact. Thank you so much, Jacob. The other thing we'd like to do as well is give a few share.

That's usually play a little bit of a game with it. And I told you I was going gonna forget how you worded it. And now you've forgotten too, haven't you? That was Dave's line. It was. No, it was something you made up. No, they made up. Shootin' it, it was like,

shootin' them, shootin' them, shootin' them. Shootin' them, shootin' them. Yes, we got that, good teamwork. So we're gonna give them fancy names as if they were hosting a, or writing a column or hosting a radio show or something about the arts, culture, gardening, theatre. Snuteenisms.

Snuteenisms. Snuteenisms, Dan. Okay, firstly, I'd love to think, from Palm Beach in Queensland, and if I'm right here Dave, I think this is a person who donated a few books to your bookcheek course. It is Teagan Longman. Thank you, Teagan. Definitely got the War of the Worlds. For me, and that was the week that I had done the report on the War of the Worlds radio play.

So that was spooky. So cool, spooky. I mean, Teagan Longman. That's not super snooty. I think we could snoot that right up. Jess, you got a snoot. No, you give me an example because you did it before. Oh, my wonderful. My one would be

Fesant P. Oh, yes. I can't remember. Fifle, Fifle, Fifle. Okay, yes, I've got it. Caviar H. Buckingworth. Oh, that's great. Caviar H. Buckingworth. Oh, that's great. Kavya H. Buckingworth.

Oh my goodness. The limousine is waiting. Kavya with a cave, though, like a Kardashian. Yeah, that makes it really classy. Yeah, it's a cave. Yes. It's a special cave. Kettermen.

No, we got it. Not the cereal. All right. Thank you so much, Tegan, H-A-A. Cavia. H. Buckingworth. I'd also love to thank from Falls Church in Virginia, Mr. Mike Schubert. Oh, Schubert's already good, isn't it? Yeah, Mike Schubert Mike isn't you. Oh, Mike's got a guy. Obviously it would be Michael S Shuber. Yes, but we can I think I think I think we I think she but should be the first name. Oh, Shuber Suffering the day on oh Shuber von Giggle gots Giggle gots. No, that's not yeah, that's rough. Oh, I'm a Giggle gotots. Oh. Gigglegots, no, that's rough. That's not rough, that's like a clown. Gigglegots is quite a lot.

Gigglegots. Shubair Von Gigglygots. Von Gigglygots. The second. Yes, there it is. We got it. We got it. We got it.

Beautiful. Thank you so much, Mark. Shubair, all the way from Fools Church, Virginia. Amazing. Thank you so much, Dave. Thanks some lovely people. Yes. Maybe we can class these people up a little bit.

Even though they already top shelf, we're taking them from top shelf too. Off the shelf, behind the counter. Oh, my goodness. Where the good stuff's kept. Oh yeah, in a cabinet or you have to get the staff and then get a key out. Oh, there's a key.

There's a key. Honestly, I won't shop there. Yeah, it's not made me talk to someone. Even just like at the liquor land up the road, like even the cheap, shitty vodka's behind, I was like, I don't want it to talk to someone to say, can I please have that? And then, ooh, yuck, no.

No, no, no. But I would like to thank from the like heart in New South Wales, here in Australia. Oh. John Dunn. Sean Dunn. Sean Dunn is fantastic. That's sounds like a Moe and Sean Dunn. Oh, like Sean Dunn.

Yeah, that's what's going for there. And like heart, that is where I believe the West's Tog is a base out of my NRL team. A very classy team. Yeah. Speaking of class.T. A very classy team speaking of class. Well, I would like to dub the shan-dan, Dame Victoria, Crownborn. Crownborn.

Yes, born for the crown. Yes. Right, it's not something about the crown. You know what a baby's crowning. No, it's crowning. Dame Victoria, Crownborn. I love that. crown, you know what a baby's crowning. No. It's crowning. Yeah. Dame Victoria crowned born.

I love that. When a royal baby is crowning, that's just them putting a mini crown on the baby's head. Yeah, there you go. Okay, Emily and Shandon. Shandon. I mean, I'm happy with that. That's quite a lot. Yeah, that's fantastic.

That's so good. Fantastic. Well done, everybody involved. Thank you. And I would like to thank from Fesant Creek in Victoria, that sounds good. Fantastic. Well done, everybody involved. Thank you. And I would like to thank, from Fesant Creek in Victoria, that sounds, Fesant Hunting. Yeah. There's posh people doing it.

Yeah, this is posh, shit already. Fesant Creek. Steve, SETI, S-Z-E-T-E-E-I, Steve SETI. Steve's got to go. Oh, my, Stephen. Stephen is, what about you already Steven is, you're already. Steven becomes Percival.

Percival S. Huntington. Oh, that's good. Percival S. Huntington. Perci, and mother calls it. Percy loves to hunt the fizzons. He doesn't crave. There it is. You have definitely given him a snoot in them,

which is the thing we're doing for those just shooting in. Why are you just shooting in now? Thank you, Steve. Slashed Percy. Thank you so much. Can I thank some people for being a son? Please do.

I would like to thank from Rancho Cucamanga. Rancho Cucamanga. Is that real? Is it Cucamanga? Can we go there? Cucamanga. California. That's like a list of comedy names in America. So, cuckoo monga. Is that real? Is it cuchamonga? Can we go there?

Cuckoo monga. California. That's like a list of comedy names in America. I know. I would love to thank. Kio Cook. Aaron Butler. But there's no place for a Butler in this list.

He's a Butler to the stars, okay, himself. Yes. He's his own Butler. Lawrence? Yes, loving it already. Followler Lawrence or yes loving it already Follow that flow triple bot excuse me triple bot Esquire squire. Yes. Oh, Lawrence triple bot Esquire. Oh, very good indeed Are we happy with that?

His chums call him Larry We're over a cognac His chum. Oh, yes. I love it. Love a digestive over a cognac. His chum. Oh yes, I love it. I love a digestive after dinner. Turyo chums very good. Thank you so much, Aaron slash Lawrence. What?

From Rancho Cucamonga. I mean, right. I sure cook. Come on, come on, let's look it up. It's not too far from Anaheim and LA sort of inland. Yeah. So near San Bernardino. Oh.

Riverside. It's a few other places. I don't know if these are like places I've heard of it, now other places, but just short of Mount San Antonio, just south of. Anyway, thank you, Aaron. And finally, bringing us home today from Solzbury in Wiltshire, Great Britain, Ed, Samson. Ed Samson, Ed Samson's a great name, by the way. Posh Spice. That's what you want to change it to.

Yeah, that's the Poshers of Names. Can you get Posher than that? The old rule of six, creator pattern. What? Ha ha ha ha. And then destroy the pattern. Destroy it with a few of the common. You have it with Posh Spice?

Yeah, I feel like we could juge it up a slot. OK, OK, all right. Posh, L, speech, chair all right. Posh L. Speech. Oh. Posh L. Speech. Who was this far enough? Spanish royalty. Oh, that's good, that's right.

Posh. Bell down to the infant. Yeah, love it. Posh L. Speech. Beautiful. And I think you'd be pretty happy with that. Posh.

Yeah, I think you look great. We nailed it. And we did it for you. That was worth you contributing to the show. Thank you so much, Ed. Aaron Steve's, how'd you say, Sian? Sean. Sean.

Sean, Mike and Tegan. Thank you so much. You're absolutely legends. I was going to try and go back through the nose and came back with, but I would battle two of the physics. Oh, I gave it a no. I've completely forgot. But I would love to see any of you, you know, get an official number plate or something made

out of your new title. I don't think we're asking too much. Maybe a fake idea or something like that. Or real idea when you're changing name by Deed Paul. Yeah, which I know takes a while, so just the Facebook name would be for now. Maybe some monogrammed hanker chiefs. Yeah, you're fancy.

Yeah. You need some hankies. Okay. You know, blow your nose with a tissue? Yuck, that's for commoners. Persons. Anyway, but if you would also like to be Patreon and contribute a little bit to the show, again,

you can do that at patreon.com slash do go on pod. And in exchange we'll bring you up society. We'll bring you up. We'll bring you up. We'll parent you. Yeah. We'll have three parents. It'll be confusing but worth it. I don't know. I didn't tell you this, but a couple of weeks ago when I was doing the Patreon reads on my own, I may have said that if someone contributes enough, we will keep you alive. You will not die. Oh, in our hearts, yeah.

Yeah, I know. I think I will pay for their life support or something. We will. Yeah. What does that mean? If they support us enough, we'll support them back. When they die, we'll keep them alive. Okay. We basically, we are granting one lucky listener eternal life.

I put an eye and long out on hard rubbish. When I get home, I'm going to have to bring it back in. Basically, we're granting one lucky listener eternal life. I put an eye on long out on hard rubbish. When I get home, I'm going to have to bring it back in. You really should have let us know that. Sorry about that. I just threw out my defibrillator, because I hadn't used it on anyone in a while. And you watched Mary Condo.

Yeah, and I was like, does it spark joy? No, it sparks hearts. It sparks hearts. Damn it. If it starts sparking's box. Box. Damn it. If it starts sparking, you should probably should return it. Yes. Okay.

That's not a good, not a good deep feedback. No. For back. Um, check us out on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, do go on pod and all of those, do go on pod at gmail.com. Um, and all of the information will be in the notes. And also you can go to dogoampod.com. Yeah, do that.

We've got the Brisbane show coming up. I have another one being announced real soon. And apart from that, just be good. Just to yourself. Just stay cool. And each other. Each other. But.

And each other's but. Yeah, and you need a signal to someone. Just use the bladder on the left, all the right hand side of your head. And if you are, going around the world in 80 sex positions, let us know. Yeah. Let us say hey.

Oh, number 80. Oh, number 69. Oh, I know what I'm going to do for that. Missionary. All of them in the Missionary. Mission missionary Missionary in Mexico No, we have fun. No, we don't we pretend we have I have fun. No you're wrong You don't

Sorry, all right. We love you. Thank you so much for listening and goodbye! LATERS, LOVE YOU, BODLATERS! This podcast is part of the Planet Broadcasting Network. Visit planetbroadcasting.com for more podcasts from our great mates. I mean, if you won't, it's up to you. At Nordstrom, you can shop the best holiday gifts for everyone you love, all in one place. You'll find beauty favorites, cozy presents, fun ideas under a hundred and more. Like festive dressing for you in your home, experience the magic at your favorite store, or order on Nordstrom.com with free shipping and returns.

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